#big bugs bernard

[cuddlebugmonster]

Here have the babies

From left to right:

Fry(Raph's first born), Annie, Lou, Chance, Lucky

XD i look like a giant Saint Bernard that kids just love to climb on XD I love this so much and the strawberry backgrounds is just darling <3<3<3<3<3333

Annie “ DAD ! DAD CAN WE KEEP IT !!” :D

[halcyone-of-the-sea]

ooh im glad!!! so, expanding on that then..

how about price with a civvi wife/gf, and when they’re talking over the phone while he’s gone, she’s being kinda cagey and definitely omitting something, but he doesn’t know what. so when he gets back home she tells him she’s pregnant? really just a lot of fluff (and maybe angst? 👀 like about how his job is super dangerous and he might not come home, so he has fears about it?? bc your angst is so good it makes me sob violently /pos)

ive never sent a request before, so if this is too specific or something, feel free to whittle it down or toss it, i don’t wanna bug you lol

have a good day hal, love u!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Our Remains

Pairing: John Price x F!Reader

Synopsis: You disliked hiding things from John. Certainly something as big as this.

Word Count: 4.8k

Warnings: Pregnancy, allusions to breeding kink & unprotected seggsy time, morning sickness, angst, major fluff at the end

A/N: This was an adorable request, Anon!! Thanks so much for sending it in.

*I do not give others permission to translate and/or re-publish my works on this or any other platform*

You disliked hiding things from John. It not only felt like a betrayal of his unlimited trust in you but also a slap in the face for what you had built with each other. The both of you were always honest to a fault when it came to your relationship—like how a bird was loyal to the sky. It was an unselfish principle; a promise of pure love and devotion that transcended touch or given gifts.

You told each other things. Everything. Down to how much you had spent on groceries that day just because it was something to talk about and share; something that made you closer to one another even when you were apart. You told the Brit what you planted in the back garden—what shirt you were wearing!

But now you hold the ringing phone in your hand and for the first time in your entire relationship, you consider lying. 

Your eyes bore into the icon of John’s smiling face, head covered by a black beanie and beard tilted up softly. Affectionately, his name on the device had been changed to ‘Grumpy St. Bernard,’ but now the title made your lips go thin instead of the usual giggling reaction. No heat spreads over your cheeks; no excitement.

Just an overwhelming sense of dread.

The week had started just as the last three had. A special form of hell. At nearly six o’clock you would whip back the covers with all the fervor of a terrified rabbit being chased by a hawk; the taste of bile immediately snapping you to attention as the toilet acts as your commanding officer. 

You imagined John would get a chuckle out of that comparison, but when you’re hurling up your guts in nothing more than a pair of your boyfriend’s boxers and a tank top it’s hard to think about all that. The taste of bile was still lickable from your lips as the bathroom tile digs into your knees, ringing phone still in your palm. 

The idea of a pregnancy test slid into your subconscious in the first week of John’s two-month deployment, the tantalizing thought that was like a hook to a fish. You had pulled on the string, of course, and had instantly drowned in air. But you hadn’t taken one until now. Too nervous, perhaps. Hesitant. 

In your other hand, opposite of the buzzing phone, you held three positive pregnancy tests in a shaking grip. Pink and white plastic mock you from the corner of your vision; two double lines. 

John’s icon dims. 

You press the green circle in your panic, mouth opening and closing yet no sounds escaping. Would you tell him now? Later? Was it right to tell him about this now—when he was halfway across the continent? Fear overtakes your heart for no apparent reason. You didn’t want him to act rashly, especially when John could act so stubborn when he wanted to. 

He was always so concerned about you when he was away but you were concerned just the same. That man was the one who was getting shot at constantly, not you.

“Took you a while to answer. Trying to give me the slip, then, Sweetheart?” John’s gravelly voice helped slightly, making your heart still, even if for a short moment. You close your eyes and tilt your head down, lips quivering at the soft chuckle over the line.

God, you loved him so much.

Blue eyes furrowed in confusion at the silence on the line, the chilled Switzerland air sneaking inside John’s compression shirt as he stood on the hotel balcony. The sounds of gentle conversation twitch his ears from inside the room—the voices of the One-Four-One a dull mumble behind the half-closed sliding door. They had been playing cards before the Captain had easily slipped away to check up on you. 

He tried to call as often as he could. 

John’s hips shift, one arm crossed over his chest as the other presses the phone harder to his ear. Lips pull to a frown, beard bristles going with them, before the lines on the Brit’s forehead grow larger.

“...Love?” Naturally, a sliver of concern wedges itself into his ribs but it subsides when your calming voice spreads honey over the call. John’s shoulders fall back down. 

You breathe deeply, hands dropping the tests onto the bathroom counter with a small clack of plastic. 

“John,” forcing away the hitch to your words, you stare at yourself in the mirror, free hand sliding up to lightly rest over your collarbone as a soothing method. Your eyes are so filled with shock that it throws you off. “I…I wasn’t expecting a call so soon.” 

“Hm, been up since 0500.” the man grunts, looking out over the city and seeing the rising sun before asking softly with a deep-set brow. There was something about your tone…lids narrow at nothing. “Did I wake you?” 

“No, no,” You force a chuckle, having to take a deep breath before ripping your sights from your own reflection. The disgust was settling at you trying to avoid this. But if your own brain could barely process this right now, what gave you the right to tell John when he wasn’t here? “I’ve been up for a few hours.”

Licking your lips, you run a hand over your hair, glancing out of the ajar door into the master bedroom, pushing out bland answers for only the fact that you couldn’t think clearly right now.

Jesus, this was actually happening. 

You study the thrown covers from your morning rush to the bathroom, seeing the pictures on the nightstand and feeling the delicate atmosphere that was sparking—electricity between atoms. A silent moment of realization that everything down to the bare bones of your relationship was about to change. Blinking back to the tests, you dwell in the strange fuzz that took residence in the back of your mind. 

“What’s been going on?” Your voice isn’t right. Too tight. Too…nervous. Why were you nervous? “Everyone good?” 

The Brit frowns stiffly, shifting his feet again and sending a look back into the hotel. Hunching forward, John’s large fingers fix the position of the phone as his voice lowers, ignoring your question entirely. He doesn't want to jump to conclusions, but there were pros and cons to his line of work. 

Above all, he knew when something was up with you.

“Are you alright over there, Sweetheart?” Blue eyes rove the street below, “Feelin’ okay? You sound a bit stuffed up.”

Your heart lurches, quickly stuttering through an explanation of, “O-oh, I think I just came down with something.” The irony wasn’t lost on you. “A stomach bug,” you cringe, “I’m sorry, was it that obvious?”

The laugh that exits is less convincing than you thought it would be, but it does the trick. John sighs in relief, chuckling as he shakes his head.

“No need to apologize, Love…anything bad, then? I can bring some meds from Base when I’m back if you need me to.” He was still concerned for you, but knowing that you’d never lied or withheld the truth from him before there was really no reason to believe that anything else was going on. John trusted you to the end of the earth. 

The Captain rubbed at the back of his neck, cracking his spine as he bent back. It was still early and waking up on a hotel bed without you beside him was torture. John longed for home. Longed for you.

Back at the house, your face scrunches together. 

Bad? You wonder, saying absentmindedly that some medication would be lovely. Was this…bad? 

John had always wanted to have a kid—or, at least, he’d told you as much when he was above you, filling you to the brim and then doing it again a second and third time. Thighs quivering and eyes fighting to stay open through layered bliss as sharp pants rung in your ears. 

“Gonna get you pregnant…watch you swell up…c’mon sweet thing, you can handle another one, can’t you? Need to watch it take.” 

…But was that a true feeling or just a kink? You blank and realize you’d never asked him. More than that, though, was this what you wanted? 

“When do you think you’ll be home, John?” You speak softly, palm flattening over your stomach as you exit the bathroom and sit on the end of the bed, gut swirling but not in a nauseous sort of way. “I…I really miss you, y’know? It would all be better if you were home.”

The brunette blinks softly, lids peeling back in shock for a moment before a thin thread of guilt worms its way into him. 

“Kate said two months, Love,” John speaks slowly, the grumble in his voice trying to convey his unease at your strange behavior, “You know that.”

He’d explained his job when you both had gotten serious, how he would be gone for long periods of time, and the somewhat uncomfortable situations you’d be put in because of it. You’d agreed and never brought it up when John would have to leave in the small hours of the morning and disappear for months on end. It shocked him, really, with how well you adjusted but that was just how you were. One of a kind. 

There was no one else with whom John could see himself building a life—being buried beside in some nice meadow grave plot and turning to dust together. Growing a family with. 

John cleared his throat, tilting his head down slightly before pulling himself back to the present. 

“It’s bothering you that much, eh?” His brows furrow, “Are you sure you’re alright? I can call hospital and—”

“No!” You slap a hand to your mouth, halting your outburst as blue eyes go somewhat wide, jaw slackening. Taking a breath over the shocked silence over the line, you dig your fingers into your cheek before letting your limb drop. “No, John…I-I’m sorry I just…” 

Your voice quivers.

Don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry…

Eyes burning and nose twitching, you breathe heavily, mouth closing shut because you knew that if you say another word you’ll explode. You were shivering with cold sweat, scared and confused, and wanting John to hold you in his arms; whispering that it would all be okay into the shell of your ear. 

You force through a sob, “I’m just really scared.”

John tenses, one hand going to grasp the balcony with white knuckles. His mind goes into overdrive. “Scared?” the Brit prods, muscles going stiff and mind running, “What in the hell is going on?” 

Authority leaks into his tone, serious and deep. It made him nervous that he couldn’t see you right now—couldn’t stop the sounds coming from your mouth. Why were you crying? Has something horrible happened to you? Were you in trouble but were unable to tell him? John runs over your conversation again, every word and sound, as his heart races. He was wound up like a spring. 

From behind him, the conversation in the hotel room halts. 

You force your eyes closed, now up on your feet and pacing. Tears lightly patter to the floor. 

“John, I can’t tell you over the phone,” you admit, shaking, “that wouldn’t be…wouldn’t be fair to you.” Swiping at your eyes, you spread the salty liquid away from your lashes, sniffling; praying that he would understand. “But I really need you home as soon as you’re able. I don’t want to break up what's going on over there, it’s just really important. I don’t think I can wait two months by myself. You know I would never ask this if I didn’t need to.”

John’s jaw clenches, legs unable to stay still as your anxiety leaks to him. He’s nodding before he realizes you can’t see him, taking a deep breath to fill his lungs. 

“...I’ll see what I can do, then.” The brunette runs his hand over his beard pulling at the strands aggressively. What was so crucial that you can’t tell him over the phone? It was a secure line, John always made sure it was; yet, at the same time, that fact didn’t matter at all. If you needed him home so fervently—then he was coming home. That was that. “How long can you wait for me, Love?” He spares a glance inside. “There are a few loose ends that need to be taken care of here. Might complicate things.” 

You blink around the bedroom, hand wrapped around your middle and trying to run soothing circles into your skin. 

“I…I don’t…” John’s face softens, closing his eyes.

“Breathe, Sweetheart,” he whispers, “I’m comin’ home to you. We’ll get whatever this is sorted, yeah? I need you to be brave for me until then.”

Listening, you let the words calm you down, sniffling one last time like a kid who had fallen off the monkey bars before you let out a chuckle. John instantly follows his own advice when that sound wafts over the line. His shoulders fall back once more, silent sigh exiting.

“You said that exact same thing to me when I ended up burning that loaf of bread I was making—two years ago, was it? ‘Breathe, Sweetheart.’” Blue glimmers with love, cheeky tone growing. 

“Hm, nearly set the kitchen on fire, didn’t you? So much smoke I swore someone had set off a charge in the oven.” John doesn’t push you to answer him, though he’s more questions than anything else at this point. You’d said you would tell him when he’s home and he believes you. “Please, Love, at least promise me you didn’t burn the bloody house down, yeah?” 

A laugh strikes his chest, and he’s chuckling slowly in retaliation. 

“I promise, John.”

“Good.” You’re smiling for the first in what seems like ages, tears drying as the flood down your chin stops. You lick away the water stuck in the corner of your mouth when John grunts lowly, “I’ll tell the boys and inform Laswell. But I can’t say it’ll be less than two weeks.”

Nodding to yourself, you say, quietly, “Okay.” Your eyes fall to the framed picture on the nightstand—the image of John and you smiling brightly on your third anniversary. You’d gone hiking, both sweaty and dirt marks on your cheeks, but happy…always happy. Your veins pump blood faster. “I love you, John.” 

The final comment is tender; the words are more silk and soft furs than vibrating vocal cords. 

He blinks away the blush that lights his pale cheeks. John huffs, an infectious smile flickering over his face as his chest wells with affection. Acting like a bird preening itself, he smirks and says, “Well, you’re lucky then…I love you too, Sweetheart.” An exhalation echoes over the call as his tone drops, “Keep safe for me, eh? I’ll call to update tomorrow.” 

“I’ll be waiting.” 

When the phone is set down on the bed, tossed down carefully, you try to think over this situation more rationally. You wouldn’t say you were against this—building a family with John. In fact, if not him, then you don’t believe it would be anyone else. 

The Brit was the only man for you. You both knew the risks of having unprotected sex and in reality, you think neither one of you cared about the consequences. 

Nodding to yourself, you wonder how to explain this to him when he comes home as you get to fixing the sheets, one hand always drifting back to your stomach with a growing appreciation.

—

John jogged to his car in the underground parking garage, unlocking it with his fob as his bags are slung over his shoulders. He wastes no time chucking his belongings into the back seat, swiftly sliding into the driver's seat and slamming the door shut as the engine starts. His dog tags bounce on his chest, but he’s half convinced they move from the rate that his heart is going alone.

All through traffic his fingers are tapping against the wheel, grunting stiffly at red lights and shifting his hips. 

It had been three and a half weeks of fixing loose ends. 

“Fuckin’ hell, c’mon,” John huffs, one elbow on the car frame as his hand flattens over his lower jaw. The light slowly snaps back to green after a long minute. 

Pressing on the gas, the vehicle moves forward and continues until the familiar home comes into view on that quiet street nearly twenty minutes later. 

John barely parks the car before he hops out, leaving his bags in the back, and rushes to the door. Taking the key from under the doormat, his mind is focused on only you. He had been unable to stop his worry about you and your unnamed fear, watching the phone with every free instance he could. It had only grown as the days got longer, and no matter how much you assured him that you would be okay until he got back, deep-seated apprehension grew. He didn’t like living under a shroud, especially when it came to your health.

The key in his hand was inserted with a firm wrist and twisted, shoving open the door with a heavy shoulder like there was a cloud over his head.

“Love?!” He calls, not bothering to shuck off his boots before looking around the visible living room and foyer. “Where are you?” 

Long legs move swiftly as an utterance calls from the kitchen, barely taking the time to close the door behind him in his anxiety, “John?” 

The Brit immediately backtracks, skidding to a stop and turning with blinking eyes. His ears twitch at the sounds of dishes being dropped back into water, as his heart steadily slows at the sound of your beautiful voice calling his name. 

He rushes around the doorframe, feet stomping and hand catching the wall as you come into view, staring wide-eyed. 

Your digits are around the fabric of a dish towel, fingers dripping as John finally presents himself to you. You hadn’t heard him until he had called out, too preoccupied with your own thoughts to hear the lock click. 

But now it was like every worry you had was wiped clean at the sight of that gruff face; the hitch in his large chest. A smile slashes your lips after a moment of shocked silence.

“John!” You laugh, rushing forward, and the man lets his face soften—bringing you close to him as you draw near and trapping you in his arms. 

His breath spread out over the top of your head in a great sigh, grumbled chuckles accented by the way John’s great hands wrap around your shoulders. Fingers press you into a solid chest, digging through hair to let your ear twitch at the sound of his heartbeat. 

John doesn't speak until he has held you in his arms for at least three minutes, just pressing his face into your scalp and feeling your warmth against him. You don’t pull away either, breathing in his musk as it instinctually leads to your muscles loosening. 

Minutes later, the Brit pulls back slowly, gripping you by the shoulders and looking down into your eyes. His gaze filters over yours, taking you in before his lips meet yours in a brief yet deep kiss. You melt into it, hands going to grip his cheeks and spread throughout his beard hair, soft strands leaving you shivering when John’s thumbs rub circles into your flesh. 

He pulls back and you fight the tears in your eyes as he connects his forehead with yours. His optics shine with love, bleeding out like trapped stars; silver flecks of devotion and a blue the color of sea storms.

“What’s going on, Love?” John whispers, concern alight and raving as his grip goes to your waist, squeezing comfortingly. “I’m here. Tell me.” 

You blink slowly, lips going thin with tight brows. Swallowing through a tight throat, you nod. 

“Can you go sit in the living room, please?” Speaking carefully, you tilt your head and watch John get confused—his nose scrunching and moving his lips together. You run your thumbs over his cheeks and smile slightly, obviously nervous again. “Trust me.”

Though it wasn’t a question, John replies under his breath, “Always.” 

But still, he holds you, studying your expression and the whites of your eyes with stiff lungs. You were making him fear that something horrible was coming—something he couldn’t control. His heart begins to hurt, but he backs away from you, brows tight as he exits the kitchen and disappears into the living room. 

Taking down a swift breath when he’s out of sight, you fiddle with your fingers above your abdomen, looking down at your still-flat stomach. You knew it was stupid to worry, but how could you not? It wasn’t every day you just told your Lover you were pregnant with his child…

“John loves me,” you mutter to yourself, nodding and getting ready to go through with the plan you’d formed over the three weeks you’d been alone. “And he’ll love the both of us. I know he will.” 

Hand flattening over your stomach, you open a drawer with the other, pulling out a small cardboard box no bigger than a book. Fingers shaking, you lick your lips and feel the slight pull of a nervous, yet giddy, smile. Turning, you exit the kitchen and see John sitting with his nose resting above the clench of his fists, foot tapping. His head immediately snaps over when you come into view, hands falling to hang off his legs as the couch under him dips from his weight. 

You steel yourself and raise the box. 

“Here.” Placing it on the coffee table, you sit across from John in an armchair. 

He blinks slowly, eyes going small with curiosity. The man sends you glances through his lashes as he stares down at the object but he says nothing. Rubbing his beard with one hand, he reaches and grabs it carefully. 

Testing the weight, John is genuinely confused, clenching his jaw and feeling the material in his palm. 

“...What’s this, then?” He asks lowly, glancing at you with a raised brow and lines on his forehead. 

You put your intertwined hands in your lap, prompting with a tilt of your shoulders. 

“Open it.” Off put by your cryptic answers, John nods firmly, grasping the top of the box and pulling lightly, careful not to disturb the contents. It was strange to think, but he was honestly quite perturbed. 

What exactly was inside this box, and why had he been called home for it? He loved being here, no doubt, but the circumstances….

Blue eyes glimmer. You didn’t look overly afraid as you shifted in your seat, just plain timid—like the inside object would change something fundamental about his and yours relationship. 

John pops the top off and looks as you start talking before your throat threatens to shut you up. “I…I know it’s not a life-threatening thing to call you home for,” the man stills as if he was made of stone; a statue as non-breathing and pulse-less as anything, “But I didn’t want to tell you over the phone because that seemed so—!” 

Your voice is drowned out as John’s shaking fingers delve into the box, ears ringing. His fingers flinch off of three positive pregnancy tests and the soft fabric of the plain army green baby onesie that surrounds them; skimming slowly. 

“I found out the day you called and I said I had come down with something.” Your laugh is strained when it exits you, and you stare at the Brit hard, seeing his features utterly halt all expression. Thumbs digging into your skin, your tone drops, speaking slowly, “...John? A-are you okay? Say something to me, Love.” 

It’s only in that long minute of nothingness that you really start to get an all-consuming tenseness to your bones like a rabbit. 

Why isn’t he saying anything? 

John clears his stiff throat, blinking rapidly as he brings out one of the tests, dropping the box lightly to the coffee table with a dull thump. The twin red lines are ingrained into the softness of his retinas as the sun would be if you were to stare directly at it. 

Pregnant. 

His heart swells to an almost painful degree, blue eyes moving to look at you across the table and then dipping to your stomach. The Brit stands up slowly. 

Your lungs are tight, lids moving quickly with wetness growing in your tear ducts. 

“Please, John, what are you thinking—?” Large hands capture your arms, bringing you up as lips meet yours in a passionate and heart-stopping kiss. 

John’s limbs wrap around your hips, bringing you up into the air as gently as a bird, face parting from yours with a series of loud and genuine laughs. You snap your arms around his neck, shocked but not at all complaining as he holds you up with ease, twirling you around in a firm but ever-gentle hold. 

“You’re pregnant?” His whispers meet you, airy and deep with awe. It was like he was in his teens again, running around Herefordshire with his mates—his eyes shone with happiness; pure unabashed love. “Oh, truly, Sweetheart?”

Tears dribble down your cheeks at the sight of him glowing, beard peeled back in a large smile with wet eyes. Hiccuped giggles leave your lips as you nuzzle your face into his neck, the sight of him like this overwhelming. All stress leaves you in a millisecond when your feet hit the ground again. 

“Yes, John,” you sob, overjoyed, pulling back so you both can stare into each other's teary eyes as the Brits’ fingers go to shakily wipe the waterworks from your under eyes. His orbs flicker quickly, looking you over in an entirely different light. “You’re going to be a father.” 

He fights through a scratchy voice, “Me?” The tone is amused, but he can’t articulate how exalted he feels to hear that. A father…him? It was more than he could have ever asked for, and, even better—John whispers out, “You’re going to be a mum.” 

You kiss him, multiple quick pecks that he returns through shared joyous chuckles.

“I didn’t want to tell you over the phone,” the confession meets the air as one of John’s hands travels to cup your flat abdomen, fingers flinching over the fabric of your shirt to sneak under. You laugh and shiver at his calluses, as his blue eyes are so soft they could be compared to butter. “And I couldn’t wait two months.”

“Christ, Love,” John lays a kiss on your forehead, needing to be as close to you as possible. You can feel his heart through his chest, and you know yours isn’t any better. This was far more than you could have hoped for. He mutters against your skin, “I’m so glad you didn’t. This is bloody amazing news—I want to be here for all of it.” 

Sea storms lock onto your face with a grunt, “You’re so lovely. Perfect, yeah?”

His warm hand still rests under your shirt, and you doubt it’s going to leave anytime soon.

You feel your cheeks heat and you smile bashfully, heart about to explode.

“You are.” John reiterates. “You’re so fuckin’ perfect, Sweetheart. I’m so happy.” 

The air is ripe with tenderness, a soft state of being that just keeps getting better. John had silent tears dripping down his face, blinking to clear them and not letting you leave his hold for a second. 

“Oh, John,” you whisper, digging your fingers into the back of his shirt, looking up. “Me too, Love.” 

While the glee is nearly physical enough to grab, there is a moment of hesitancy in the Brit. He was gone more times than not for work; put into situations that could leave him going through bodily harm. You didn’t deserve that stress—didn’t deserve to sit at home with a swelling stomach just watching the door and wondering if you’d have to become a single mother. You had a child in your womb. His child. Both of yours’ child. 

A family that you both had made.

John swallows and says to you seriously, without an ounce of hesitation in his blood, “I’m telling Laswell to pull me out,” you blink up and listen, letting him continue as his press on your flesh gets even more prominent, nodding to you, “I’m not missing this—not putting you through that worry. Two years, then I’ll head back in. We have enough saved, I give you my word you’ll want for nothing.” 

Blue eyes flicker down, and a small mumble so tiny it nearly disappears hits your ears. You almost start sobbing again. “This is more important. You both are more important.” 

There were few moments in your life that you think you’ll remember when you are old, weathered and wrinkled, but this you tell yourself is one that you will carry to your grave. John and yours’ grave. 

What remains behind, you ask? Simple.

White bones entangled with an eternity of deathless worship, and the generations that will come to lay flowers on the headstone.

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[bearieio]

ellie w. hcs :3

bc im seeing them everywhere and i need to put in my 2¢. thank you. (also not proofread :P)

⋆ biggest hayley kiyoko fan for like 3 years (the intro to ‘girls like girls’ was her ringtone when she was 14). would beg joel to take her to random record stores that they passed by just to see if they had any hayley kiyoko cds.

⋆ because of joel, she listens to a lot of 70s-90s dad rock. 

⋆ can’t drive for shit. like literally she’s not allowed to drive without her glasses

⋆ she needs glasses btw. she doesn’t wear them because she’s already too much of a loser. but when she does where them, you tease her endlessly about them. 

⋆ can and will sleep on the floor whenever prompted. no blankets, no pillows needed. just her and the floor.

⋆ isn’t allowed to drink any sort of energy drinks on account of a previous incident that had to do with about 3 cans of redbull and 2 large cans of the ‘Java Monster.’

⋆ isn’t allowed to own small pets (like gerbils, guinea pigs, hamsters, etc.) because she’d definitely forget about them. 

⋆ owns big dogs. great danes, newfoundlands, irish wolfhounds, mastiffs, st bernards, YOU NAME IT, SHE HAS IT (or has had it)

⋆ when she’s older, i feel like she’d be like one of those white people who has 192793999 dogs for no reason 

⋆ since her mannerisms are so much like joels, you guys argue playfully all the time about how things should be done, often bringing others into it too. 

“jesse, tell her!” he flips her phone screen around to reveal a very tired jesse, “it’s 1AM, ellie-“ 

“TELL HER!” 

⋆ i feel like at random times, she’ll just grab your boob(s). i don’t know why and you’ve never said anything about it, so she hasn’t stopped…… very handsy….

⋆ audibly goes “honk honk!” almost every time she gives ‘em a squeeze.

⋆ she’s a really sloppy kisser. not like boy-sloppy, but like the hot, messy, girl sloppy bc that sounds better and honestly i think her kisses would be the best.

⋆ she was one of those kids who’d eat dirt and find bugs all the time

because of this, she’s the designated bug killer/bug-getter-outter…. idk

⋆ she’s the worst drunk you know.

like literally sssoooooooooo messy oh my god. but you love her nonetheless :)

she’s soo clingy, and, touchy (like more than usual), but also much more emotional and sensitive than usual when she’s drunk or when she’s sick.

⋆ ellie tends to be quite difficult when she’s sick. BUT! you make it work bc you love her and she loves you :>

when you bring ellie her favorite drink from her favorite coffee shop, you literally have to fight her to be able to get out the front door. when you get up to serve her lunch, you’ve got to peel her off of you because she refuses to let you leave her side. when you go and get the medicine she says she doesn’t need…. you guessed it, she fights for you to stay in bed next to her.

“babe, what if i die right here, when you leave- like- BABE PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME-“ she bewails, crossing her arms and huffing at the sight of you leaving her.

⋆ when you catch her playing her guitar, she sometimes gets all shy and plays the wrong chords n stuff. 

“don’t LOOK! >:(” she says, gripping the body of her guitar, glaring in your direction.

“oh!- okay” you say, throwing your hands up in a playful manner, giggling. 

⋆ but the times where she’s not shy about playing in front of you, she’ll ask you if you want to play.

“do you uh- maybe wanna play? i could teach you” she suggests, gesturing toward the stringed instrument.

but then after, she’d tease you about your finger placement :(

“i said the fourth fret, girl, not the second, or, the third!” she says, in between laughs.

“well fourth from the top or the bottom?!” you scoffed, looking at her, still puzzled.

she knows your trying your best but it’s still fun to poke at you when she can >:)

constructive criticism is appreciated !!!

[cheetahleopard]

Thinking about Jason genuinely not wanting to rejoin the batfam and never wanting to speak to bruce again. Thinking about a Jason who finds Bruce's actions towards him (post-resurrection) unforgivable and flat refuses. Thinking about jaytim where Jason flat refuses to meet Bruce, to care about his approval even for Tim, to completely ignore Bruce and refuse to go to things like galas hell be at. Thinking about a relationship damaged without repair and Tim only calling Bruce "B" or "The Bat" in conversations with Jason because the Bruce Jason loved doesn't exist anymore.

Thinking about them eloping because they know if they do a wedding with Alfred Bruce will somehow be involved because while Alfred is nearly flawless, he himself can admit Bruce is one of them. Thinking of a Jaytim where Tim introduces Jason to his friends & family one by one but not Bruce. Never Bruce. His family including Huntress and Loni and Pru. His friends including Ives and Bernard and Darla. Thinking of Tim and Jason ruthlessly destroying Bruce's trackers and camera and bugs.

Thinking of jaytim where this is their first big fight, that Jason won't accept Bruce and the fucked up way he's *trying* now, like he didn't put a baterang in Jason's throat to stop him killing *his murderer, who was just hanging out outside of Arkham facing no consequences, not even Bat-sanctioned ones*. Thinking of Tim's voice breaking around the "he still loves you" and thinking about Jason's rueful laugh "I know, it's fucked up." Thinking of "I can't forgive him and I can't love him and what he did to me, that's injustice. I can't." Thinking about Tim fundamentally not understanding not wanting someone to love you but understanding someone trying to force the wrong kind of love on you in a sincere way (jack) and reframing his thinking.

[fyrewept]

helaena targaryen | spotify playlist

01 . gilded lily — cults 02 . the bug collector — haley heynderickx 03 . nightvisions — liana flores 04 . butterflies — liana flores feat. tim bernardes 05 . not a lot, just forever — adrianne lenker 06 . cassandra — florence + the machine 07 . inbred — ethel cain 08 . velvet ring — big thief 09 . thérèse — maya hawke 10 . first love/late spring — mitski 11 . the thrill of loneliness — hana stretton 12 . kidnapping an heiress — black box recorder 13 . euphoria — dianna lopez 14 . halah — mazzy star 15 . duvet — bôa 16 . sisters of the moon — fleetwood mac 17 . paris, texas — lana del rey feat. SYML 18 . honeydew blue — 800 cherries 19 . in the woods somewhere — hozier 20 . sea, swallow me — cocteau twins

[the-clay-quarters]

Okay this took me three days bcus I spent Way too long thinking about it but! here's my guys in @t6fs' template!

The only bit of this that was left blank for non character reasons is the dreams- I avoid all the dream cards in game to avoid nightmares, so I don't really know the vibes oops. Oh, and the key items are distinctive things they carry regularly, excluding things they'd own at home. Otherwise, detail bits under the cut! I ended up with a lot of notes and wanted to ramble, it's really fuckin long <3

Silverstein

"His" pet is Pembroke's Half-Wild Mandrake (from bag a legend). They both agree that it is still hers, it's just hard to take care of in the middle of the city so it lives out with him. Otherwise, he keeps no pets.

Apathetic but also opinionated: On most things, he's very apathetic, simply agreeing with other people's decisions. On the other hand, though, he is strongly revolutionary and aiming for a lot of change... Not that he'd tell you that, not that you should know.

Dreams: It's canon that clay men can't dream :( No rights

Habitat: He likes being out and about, he spends most of his day out in the streets. He does a lot of "low skill" but high strength work, like moving services or construction.

Both hot/cold and coffee/tea are Neither for clay man reasons: Very high and cold temperatures cause him issues in different, equally annoying ways, and he can't eat/taste either, so no preference on food or drink.

Items: The gloves are clay stained, actually, and primarily on the inside. He started collecting first city coins for heart's desire and just has a habit of keeping some on him now. Horse head amulet... fear of death and uncertainty about the particulars of clay men :)

Flower, white rose: Did you know all the funky coloured roses (ie blue or rainbow) are made by dying white ones? :)c

Animal, saint bernard: Big but fairly gentle and lazy, would be a guard dog if asked but is mostly content to just sit

Element, rock slide: Change! Upheaval! Rocks :3

Pembroke:

The pet is her hunting dog, lovely lil thing <3 She doesn't keep many pets as she's a very busy person (and wouldn't want to put that on her poor housekeeper) but a good dog is always useful.

Rude-polite range is because she defaults to, and is usually, quite polite but often is also overcome with the need to be an absolute lil shit. Duality of man <3

Lodgings: Rooms above an ex-bookshop, now her tailoring shop!

Enemies: See: habit of being a chaotic lil shit. Apparently people don't like it when you think their party is too boring and try to spice it up smh

Items: A wedding ring with no match. A pocket watch to keep a tight schedule. A weapon of some sort, picked from a diverse collection. A travel sewing kit for rogue buttons and popped stitches. A hat pin, back up weapon :)

Flower, green dahlia: .......This one's mostly a pun off of Delia ngl

Animal, borzoi: Fancy and elegant looking, but still a hunting dog. Pretty but vicious~

Vincent:

The pet listed is a frost-moth but they have so. many. bugs. The phosphorescent scarabs are also pets. They have spiders. They keep any and every type of bug to either study or have as a pet. Please never visit their flat if you don't like bugs.

Gender: Bureaucratic misunderstanding. They filled out various forms wrong when they were first travelling to the neath, rolled with the neutral pronouns, realised they like it more than they probably should, and simply refused to think about that at all

Logic-emotion range is them trying to lead with logic but also having high anxiety

Lawful-chaotic and apathetic-opinionated are also anxiety, honestly. Though, for the latter, they are just quiet about their more out-there opinions, especially in the realm of politics. It's a culture thing kinda sorta, if I get into that here it'll add like 3 paragraphs at least.

Cultural identity: Catalan! Very proud of that! But won't default to that and will usually say they're Spanish. I can't get into that for the exact same reasons as the last point oops

Allies: This guy ☝ is depressed and isolating themself

Remember vs forget: When you're this far from home, your culture comes just from your own memories that you can't afford to lose. But also fuck wouldn't it be nice to simply forget the things causing you anxiety.

Items: Big round glasses to counter their shortsightedness. Bugs. Anti spider goggles that aren't prescription, both because they were originally lent and because they don't usually need to see very far with them on. Catholic rosary, worn under their shirt. Bugs. Surface currency, specifically Spanish pesetas, sent from their parents. Bugs. Bugs. More bugs.

Flower, forget me nots: Blue, anxiety coded, pretty <3

Animal, mantis: Awkward looking, vibes <3 Also, specifically hierodula papua bcus it's blue!

[outtheoiseaux]

The Blue Room

(An excerpt from a story)

Celine’s grandfather- along with the help of a young, spry and altogether cooky intern he hired fresh out of her masters degree at the Oxford school of Anthropology- manages to uncover a previously unknown storage room buried beneath the ashy ruins of Pompeii in the summer of Celine’s first year of middle school. Nicknamed the “blue room” for its cerulean wall paintings which feature profoundly vibrant frescoes of scantily clad female figures, The Blue Room is a true gem of history in that it is not only believed to have once served as a sacrarium- an ancient Roman room in which sacred artifacts would be stored for future use in rituals- it was also filled with stacks of hulking amphorae -massive vases used by slaves and artisans for artifact transportation- and sloping piles of discarded oyster shells which Celine’s Grandpa and his yellow-bellied intern believe to have been discarded by onsite workers who happened to have been using them in local renovations when the eruption occurred.

Much of this information Celine can readily skim from the crust of her mind solely because of the sheer amount of times she has heard the words repeated when her older cousin- an awkward and altogether bumbling seventeen year old boy from Cambridge who had been living with her and her grandfather for the last three or so years since his grandmother suddenly and tragically perished- would turn to her grandfather with his great, big, buggy black eyes prewet with wonder and stutter out yet another line of inquiry into the stoic old man’s exploits as an adventuring archeologist.

Grandpa Haber’s miraculous discovery of The Blue Room was of course the most miraculous in that it bolstered his reputation so thoroughly and impressively in his field that not even two years after the initial find, Celine found herself, her cousin and of course, her grandfather’s oddball of an intern-turned-assistant soaring across the globe from the quaint and sunny beaches of Punta Gorda in southwestern coastal Florida to the mild-climated, kitsch and colorful college town of Ann Arbor for his brand spanking new position as a professor with the University of Michigan.

“You know, it really does remind me of when my gran first got her position at Cambridge.” Joey whispers to her from behind the navy blue canvas veneer of Bernard Shaw’s Pygmalion. “It really is bloody wonderful for the ego to come from a family like this; I mean, if we’re both descended from professors in their respective fields, it’s probably safe to assume we might have inherited some of their hereditary IQ.” From her window seat, Celine watches fat, slimy clouds spin lazily below, growing larger and larger with perspective as the plane makes its descent. If her great aunt’s intelligence is hereditary, she thinks to herself privately, then she really does hope that the woman’s fatal heart issues aren’t.

Their new home, Celine learns as her grandfather moseys up the winding paths of a spacy suburban sprawl in the rental car, is located in a sleepy, lightly forested town in the residential garden hills of northern Ann Arbor. The house itself is a beautiful thing; a historic unit with delicately patterned Tiffany windows, a charming, oaken porch which cuts into the first floor and wraps around the front, thick, wooden beams, charmingly kitsch vintage furniture, art deco wallpaper, wrought iron window decorations, a series of increasingly aged light covers hanging from the center of the Victorian ceiling moldings and a tasteful exterior which has been (to Celine’s admitted delight) painted entirely in a warm, dusky purple. Celine decides to call it The Purple House.

“How in the world do you think Mister Haber managed to afford a beaut like this?” Joey, entirely bug-eyed, marvels at the rows of inlaid bookshelves that wrap the walls of what appears to have once been an office room but must have been transformed by the previous residents into their private library of collector’s editions. “I mean, he’s not hard-pressed for funds by any means but for heavens’ake, you don’t make this kind of money in his sort of research, and the man isn’t a socialite!”

“A socialite?” Celine wrinkles her nose. “Why would he need to be a socialite?”

“This is a socialite’s house.” Her cousin dutifully informs her. “The only thing you could think to do with a parlor this dreadfully impressive is to host equally impressive gatherings.”

She would never let the poor thing know it, but Celine sometimes thinks that her cousin enjoys needless frivolities with a suspiciously intense sort of vigor. So suspiciously intense, in fact, that she’s starting to suspect he would benefit more from finishing school than a university education. Out of the corner of her eye, the gold inlaid label of Antigone flashes from a handsome, red, hard-cover canvas binding.

“You wanna go check out the rooms?” She bites out through an oh-so-innocent grin. Best to distract him before he can get his hands on some old tome from the previous tenants' personal collection.

“That depends,” Joey throws his head back in a hearty guffaw and his unit of a fringe flops around in earnest, “on whether or not you’ve got the guts to race me for first dibs?”

The Purple House, Celine eventually learns, is actually called the Hallisbury House- or at least was upon its construction by a couple of Nouveau-Richie gilded age socialites years ago. All of this she gleans from a series of tastefully arranged picture frames hanging along the walls in such an order that, if one were to trail slowly down the halls and view each image in order, she would witness the building of the home, the renovations over the years and the process of the lives of the original owners. Morbidly, the last hanging image in the series- an exorbitantly decorated framed print hanging over the fireplace as a centerpiece to the already elaborate mantle- depicts an artistically framed black and white shot (clearly taken on a modern, digital camera) of the original owners’ gravestones. Whoever lived here last had, she thinks, a very strong sense of humor.

Beneath the photograph, on a gilded, silver plaque, an engraving reads:

A beautiful photograph from a beautiful Daughter.

Celine’s new room is on the second floor, directly above the kitchen, and is the only bedroom in the house with a window that faces out to the front yard and driveway. These three facts are perhaps the only ordinary thing about the place. Much like the house’s exterior, Celine’s new room is almost entirely made up of various tasteful shades of purple. There’s a lilac shag carpet and a stained-indigo oak closet and a painted-plum oak dresser and a violet bean bag and a mauve mattress and byzantium tasseled pillows and an eggplant duvet. Everything from the floor to the baseboards to the walls to the Victorian ceiling moldings is painted in the color, so much so that Celine begins to wonder if the visual fatigue will make her see yellow the second she steps out. Everything from the floor to the baseboards to the walls to the Victorian ceiling moldings is painted the color purple- everything, that is, except for the bright, blood red velvet curtains draped in theatrical arcs and ruffles over the ostentatiously gothy bedside window. The other rooms in the house are perfectly normal looking, if a little antique. She checked every last one of them, and this is the outlier.

“A beautiful room,” Celine giggles out to the empty room, “for a beautiful daughter.” She takes great care to adopt a disgustingly thick Oxford drawl when she says it, then she giggles even more because it makes her sound a little too much like her cousin who used to live there.

[circusclownproductions]

🖤hi🖤

🍊🖤ophelia, 19, she/her🖤🍊

🕊️🇵🇸PALESTINE AP GRATIS🇵🇸🕊️

𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼

special interest :D -

mycology, please talk to me about it I love it so much

likes:

music-

will wood(and the tapeworms)

lemon demon

tally hall

miracle musical

siouxie and the banshees

against me!

icp

bad religion

the cramps

system of a down

the smiths

ethel cain

tv girl

rage against the machine

cage the elephant

cake

idkhbtfm

mitski

depeche mode

korn

cursive

slipknot

rod bernard

she/her/hers

dream nails

the front bottoms

thursday

thesaurus rex

kendrick lamar

megan thee stallion

movies/shows-

murder on the orient express

death on the nile

a haunting in venice

into and across the spiderverse

dhmis

big top burger

top gun 1+2

christine

coraline

all studio ghibli movies

rocky horror picture show

bee and puppycat

hilda

atla

ruby gloom

the amazing world of gumball

lisa frankenstein

phineas and ferb

but im a cheerleader

delicious in dungeon

frieren

fantastic mr fox

dandadan

arcane

bocchi the rock

books-

the metamorphosis

the trial

letters to milena

lanny

grief is the thing with feathers

house of leaves

the yellow wallpaper

the stranger

the diaries of franz kafka

i have no mouth and i must scream

games-

stardew valley

portal 1+2

minecraft

good pizza great pizza

potion craft alchemist

tukoni

animal crossing

harvest moon

fallout(almost all games)

rdr2

batim

bg3

little kitty big city

cult of the lamb

hollow knight

slime rancher

hobbies-

drawing

crocheting

sculpting

linocut printmaking

jewelry making

collecting things(bottles, rocks, beetle/cicada related items, mushroom related items, shells, soda tabs, bread tabs, clown things, fruit stickers, playing cards, buttons, antique spoons, etc.)

animation

tattooing

book binding

sewing

quilting

zine making

graffiti

baking/cooking

embroidery

gardening

bird watching

foraging

basket weaving

paper making

whittling

misc-

my friends

poetry

psychological horror

nature

bugs

animals

clowns

mardi gras

coryxkenshin

strawberry shortcake

my sweet piano

snoopy

miffy

mary oliver

ice hockey

𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼

tagging system-

🍱- original posts

🎠- reblogs

🍂- art

🪐-music

📜- literature

☕️- things I wanna buy

💌- positive anecdotes about my life

🪽- asks

🍊- positive posts

🍜- my recipes

🃏- tag games

🪶- queued or scheduled posts

🎟️ - word of the day

🍄‍🟫 - mycology

🖤🖤🖤- saves n favs

‼️‼️‼️- important stuff

𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼

I love you all make sure to eat and drink water today <3

everything is ok to rb unless explicitly stated otherwise !

[thatrandomartistjavi]

Actors that were in Alice in Wonderland media and where you might know them better from. Part 2: 1970s-1990s

Part 1 | Part 2(you're here!!) | Part 3

1972-

Michael Crawford as the White Rabbit: The Phantom/Erik from The Phantom of the Opera Cornelius Hackel from Hello Dolly!(movie) Robert Helpmann as the Mad Hatter: Child Catcher from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang Michael Hordern as the Mock Turtle: Jacob Marley from A Christmas Carol(1971) Davy Kaye as the Mouse: Admiral from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang Roy Kinnear as the Cheshire Cat: Henry Salt from Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory Pipkin from Watership Down

Through the Looking Glass(1973)-

Sarah Sutton as Alice: Nyssa from Doctor Who Geoffrey Bayldon as the White Knight: Dr. Duval from Pink Panther(1976)

Festival of Family Classics(1973)-

Carl Banas as the King of Hearts: Head Elf from Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer Scorpion from Spider-Man(1967) Sweetums from Tales from Muppetland- The Frog Prince Grandpa Kitty from Hello Kitty's Furry Tale Theater Bernard Gouran as the Dormouse: Bumble/Spotted Elephant from Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer Paul Soles as the Cheshire Cat: Hermey from Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer Spider-Man/Peter Parker from Spider-Man(1967) Stanley Lieber from The Incredible Hulk(2008) Peg Dixon as the Queen of Hearts: May Parker/Mary Jane Watson from Spider-Man(1967)

Alice at the Palace(1982)

Meryl Streep as Alice: Donna Sheridan from Mamma Mia!(movie) Mrs. Fox from Fantastic Mr. Fox The Witch from Into the Woods(movie) Cousin Topsy from Mary Poppins Returns Dee Dee Allen from The Prom(movie) Betty Aberlin as Alice's sister: Herself in Mister Roger's Neighborhood Debbie Allen as the Queen of Hearts: Dr. Catherine Avery Fox from Grey's Anatomy Michael Jeter as the Pig Baby/Dormouse/Bill: Mr. Noodle from Sesame Street Steamer/Smokey from The Polar Express

Great Performances(1983)-

Kate Burton as Alice:

Ellis Grey from Grey’s Anatomy

Austin Pendleton as the White Rabbit:

Max from The Muppet Movie

Gurgle from Finding Nemo

Nathan Lane as the Mouse:

Timon from The Lion King

Hammegg from AstroBoy(2009)

Max Dialystock from The Producers

Gomez Addams from The Addams Family(musical)

Geoffrey Holder as the Cheshire Cat:

Narrator from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

Ray the Sun from Bear in the Big Blue House

(He was also the original director and costume designer for The Wiz(musical)

Eve Arden as the Queen of Hearts:

Principal McGee from Grease

James Coco as the King of Hearts:

Mr. Skeffington from The Muppets Take Manhattan

Donald O’Connor as the Mock Turtle:

Cosmo Brown from Singin’ in the Rain

André De Shields as Tweedle Dum:

Hermes from Hadestown

The Wiz from The Wiz(musical)

Maureen Stapleton as the White Queen:

Mama Mae Peterson from Bye Bye Birdie

CBS(1985)-

Natalie Gregor as Alice: Jenny Foxworth from Oliver & Company Sherman Hemsley as the Mouse: B.P. Richfield from Dinosaurs Shelley Winters as the Dodo: Lena Gogan from Pete's Dragon Sammy Davis Jr. as the Caterpillar: Josh Howard from Ocean's 11 Robert Axelrod as the Frog Footman: Lord Zedd from Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers-The Movie Telly Savales as the Cheshire Cat: El Sleezo Tough from The Muppet Movie Roddy McDowall as the March Hare: Mr. Soil from A Bug's Life Jervis Tetch from Batman the Animated Series Ringo Starr as the Mock Turtle: The Beatles Carol Channing as the White Queen: Dolly Gallagher Levi from Hello Dolly! Harvey Korman as the White King: The Great Gazoo from The Flintstones Sally Struthers as Tiger Lily: Rebecca Cunningham from TaleSpin Pat Morita as the Horse: Mr. Miyagi from The Karate Kid The Emperor of China from Mulan Jonathan Winters as Humpty Dumpty: Grandpa Smurf from The Smurfs John Stamos as the Messenger: Jesse Katsopolis from Full House Iron Man/Tony Stark from Spidey and His Amazing Friends(put this here cause i thought it was funny)

Anglia TV(1985)-

Joan Sanderson as the Queen of Hearts: Dorcas from The Great Muppet Caper Bernard Cribbins as the Mock Turtle: Wilfred Mott from Doctor Who

BBC(1986)-

Elisabeth Sladen as the Dormouse: Sarah Jane Smith from Doctor Who Michael Wisher as the Cheshire Cat: Davros and the Daleks in episodes that the character was involved in from Doctor Who Roy Skelton as the Mock Turtle: Daleks for The Evil of the Daleks(and 5 other episodes) from Doctor Who

Carebears in Wonderland(1987)-

Tracey Moore as Alice: Cheer Bear from The Carebears Family Share Bear from Too Many Carebears stuff to list Emma Frost from X-Men(1992) Sailor Moon from Sailor Moon(1995)(Ep. 1-11,15, and 21) Princess Toadstool from The Adventures of Super Mario Bros 3 Don McManus as the Caterpillar: David Madsen from Life is Strange Elizabeth Hanna as the Queen of Wonderland: Grandma/Mama Kitty from Hello Kitty's Furry Tale Theater

Through the Looking Glass(1987)-

Janet Waldo as Alice: Judy Jetson from The Jetsons Josie from Josie and the Pussycats Townsend Coleman as Tom Fool: The Tick from The Tick Michaelangelo/Splinter/Krang/Shredder from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles(1987) Phyllis Diller as the White Queen: Queen from A Bug's Life Hal Smith as the Bandersnatch: Owl from Winnie the Pooh(until 1991)(was also the first replacement for Pooh bear himself) Josiah from Halloween is Grinch Night Gyro Gearloose/Flintheart Glomgold from Ducktales Phillipe from Beauty and the Beast Jonathan Winters as the Tweedles: Papa Smurf from The Smurfs Alan Young as the White Knight: Scrooge McDuck from Ducktales Farmer Smurf from The Smurfs Mr. T as the Jabberwock: Mr. T B.A. Baracus from The A-Team Clive Revill as the Snark/Goat: King Nod from The Thief and the Cobbler(1993,1995) Kickback from The Transformers-The Movie Will Ryan as the Paper Man: Petrie from The Land Before Time Willie the Giant from Mickey's Christmas Carol(and until his death in 2021) Harold the Seahorse from The Little Mermaid Digit/Moe from An American Tail

Burbank(1988)-

Keith Scott as the White Rabbit/March Hare/Dodo: Gordon/Diesel 10 from Thomas and the Magic Railroad Dudley Do-Right/Inspector Fenwick from Dudley Do-Right's Ripsaw Falls Popeye/Bluto from Popeye & Bluto's Bilge Rat Barges

Funky Fables(1988)-

Norma MacMillan as the Narrator: Casper from The New Casper Cartoon Show Gumby on The Gumby Show Doug Parker as the Rabbit/Frog/Mouse: Shredder from Ninja Turtles- The Next Mutation Richard Newman as the Caterpillar: General Cryptor/Emperor of Ninjago from Ninjago Professor Slopsink from Johnny Test Cranky Doodle Donkey from My Little Pony- Friendship is Magic Mr. Turtle from Franklin Rhinox from Beast Wars Alvin Sanders as the Cheshire Cat: King Sombra(season 9) from My Little Pony- Friendship is Magic Manten from Inuyasha Philip Hayes as the Hatter/Hare/Rat: Scratch from The Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog Mike Donovan as the King of Hearts: Yang from Ninjago Spike from Tom and Jerry Tales(2006) Lynda Boyd as Alice's sister: Nora Carpenter from Final Destination 2 Cheryl from She's the Man

Adventures in Wonderland(1992)-

Patrick Richwood as the White Rabbit: Neighbor Mr. Robutsen from The Princess Diaries Harry Waters Jr. as Tweedle Dee: Marvin Berry from Back to the Future John Lovelady as the Dormouse: Crazy Harry from The Muppets(Season 1) Terri Garr as the Duchess: Mary McGinnis from Batman Beyond Ken Page as the Walrus: Oogie Boogie from The Nightmare Before Christmas Old Deuteronomy from Cats the Musical Gilbert Gottfried as Mike McNasty: Iago from Aladdin Kraang from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles(2012) Mister Mxyzptlk from Lego Batman 3 Marlee Matlin as April Hare: Melody Bledsoe from Switched at Birth

1995-

Mike Donovan as the Narrator: Yang from Ninjago Spike from Tom and Jerry Tales(2006) Doug Parker as the March Hare: Shredder from Ninja Turtles- The Next Mutation Ian James Corlett as the White Rabbit: Mr. Mint from Candy Land- The Great Lollipop Adventure Cheetor from Beast Wars Hugh Test from Johnny Test The Conductor from Dinosaur Train Skales from Ninjago Blinky from Pac-Man and the Ghostly Adventures

Through the Looking Glass(1998)-

Penelope Wilton as the White Queen: Isobel Crawley from Downtown Abbey Ian Holm as the White Knight: Ash from Alien Bilbo Baggins from Lord of the Rings Chef Skinner from Ratatouille Steve Coogan as the Gnat: Octavius from Night at the Musuem Silas Ramsbottom from Despicable Me 2

1999-

Tina Majorino as Alice: Deb from Napoleon Dinamite Dr. Heather Brooks from Grey's Anatomy Miranda Richardson as the Queen of Hearts: Ms. Tweedy from Chicken Run Madame Giry from The Phantom of the Opera(2004) Rita Skeeter from Harry Potter movie franchise Martin Short as the Hatter: Huy from The Prince of Egypt B.E.N. from Treasure Planet Jack Frost from Santa Clause 3- The Escape Clause Stefano from Madagascar 3- Europe's Most Wanted Jester from Legends of Oz- Dorothy's Return Grandpa Frump from The Addams Family(2019) Preminger from Barbie as the Princess and the Pauper The Cat in the Hat from The Cat in the Hat Knows a Lot About That! Whoopi Goldberg as the Cheshire Cat: Shenzi from The Lion King Gaia from Captain Planet and the Planeteers Queen Constantina from Rodgers and Hammertsein's Cinderella Ursula from Descendants 2 Gene Wilder as the Mock Turtle: Willy Wonka from Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory Dr. Frederick Frankenstein from Young Frankenstein Robbie Coltrane as Tweedle Dum: Rubues Hagrid from Harry Potter movie franchise Christopher Lloyd as the White Knight: Doc Brown from Back to the Future Profesor Plum from Clue Judge Doom from Who Framed Roger Rabbit Merlock from Ducktales the Movie- Treasure of the Lost Lamp Uncle Fester from The Addams Family(1981) Rasputin from Anastasia Ben Kingsley as Major Caterpillar: Mandarin from Iron Man 3 Bagheera from The Jungle Book(2016) Peter Ustinov as the Walrus: Prince John from Robin Hood Pete Postlethwaite as the Carpenter: Narrator from James and the Giant Peach Friar Lawrence from Romeo+Juliet Liz Smith as Miss Lory: Grandma Georgina from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory Joanna Lumley as Tiger Lily: Aunt Spiker from James and the Giant Peach Lady Maudeline Everglot from Corpse Bride Murray Melvin as the Executioner: Ernest Reyer from The Phantom of the Opera(2004)

[variousqueerthings]

doctor who specials thoughts!

spoilers for most everything below:

obvs the plot was banging -- my partner didn't know the meep's a full-on war criminal evil emperor carnivore and I was trying not to giggle every time they called the meep so cuuuuute

the concept of transgender saved London! and donna noble's life! remember to thank a trans person in your life toay for saving people through the power of transgender!

but also specifically Donna's love for her daughter!

also Doctor preferred pronouns as any but specifically also "The Doctor" (definite article), fuckn good and correct

"you have weapons in your wheelchair!?" "of course, we all do" (from memory)

I know this is OG comic already, reallyreally enjoy the big bug beings aren't evil, and use stun guns -- an important way of gauging their character and whether the Doctor trusts them and solves the mystery. also the desiiiign of them!!!!! PRACTICAL CREATURE DESIIIIIIGN BOTH THEM AND THE MEEP!!!!!!!!!!

THE DOCTOR flopping about, RUNNING AROUND, CLIMBING UP THE WALLS, GETTING KNOCKED OUT! having just watched the entire of Eleven with all the "has a speech about how cool I am which makes the Bad Guys just give up for some reason" having this Doctor stalling for time and solving a mystery and then immediately knocked TF OUT!!!!!!!!!!

DoctorDonna BEstiESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!! they're so!!!!!!!!!!!!! they're SO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! next two episodes are gonna kill me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

still got the mystery of why the Doctor came back with this face, teaser about the Meep's "boss" (assuming Toymaker), and of course we know next to nothing about what will happen next week!

ohhhhhhh the new Tardis, she's so FLASH, she's so CLASSIC, she's so HAMSTERWHEEL!!!!!!!!!!!

I don't know why I assumed Wilfred would be dead (well, they definitely counted on us assuming it), but it makes so much sense he wouldn't be when they fucking filmed with Bernard Cribbins!! Wilf will be coming up soon!

my couple of gripes are my feelings about UNIT as "uncomplicatedly good guys." I know there's a lot of different depictions of them throughout who (I've seen Two and Three + nu!who's depictions, and I prefer early seasons making it a more tempestuous relationship, especially with Three being sort of forced to work with them but really challenging their decisions and structures), but I watched the 50th anniversary the other day and that sees Kate Stewart almost blowing up London... once a military organisation, always a military organisation, and I'd like to see some future exploration of that. not that this episode was the episode to do so necessarily, but certainly in the future...

and the "male presenting" moment -- I see where it came from, it was the one misstep in threading trans/gender political and philosophical ideas into the text, had the vibes of "women and non-binary" type gendering, and makes you (me) go "what does male presenting mean? who is male presenting to you? do you mean man? do you mean "read as man"? are you talking about non-passing tans women, non-binary people with beards, trans men? and what does that have to do with your innate self?" it's some basic gender essentialism dressed up in progressive language. I'm going deep into this Moment, but it's also the only Moment, and I feel like it's interesting to hold it to a higher standard than I have previous Who. good intentions, this one is a miss

on the whole it's fucking BACK!!! TRANSGENDERS SAVE THE WORLD AND THE DOCTOR IS A BABY LOSER WHO FEELS SO MANY FEELINGS AND IS NO LONGER AFRAID OF EXPRESSING THEM AND DONNA IS ASKING WHY THEY CAN'T JUST HANG SOMETIMES AND SPILLS COFFEE ON THE CONSOLE AND THE TARDIS IS SO FLAAAAASSHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[stefsimz]

OC Deep Dive Questionnaire Tag

thank you @windslar for tagging me! <3 here's 20 questions to get to know better one of my OCs; Edward

What uncommon/common fear do they have? Ed is scared of bugs with wings, I mean..they're pretty unpredictable.

Do they have any pet peeves? Loud.chewing. Yikes!

What are 3 items you can find in their bedroom? His notebook full of random notes he makes throught the day, sleeping pills for his insomnia, and his phone.

What do they notice first in a person? Ed is always looking in people's eyes. Can be kinda awkward sometimes.

On a scale of 1 to 10, how high is their pain tolerance? I would say Ed is pretty good with pain, so about 7!

Do they go into fight or flight mode when under pressure? As he's in the police officer/detective career, he gets confrontational under pressure, no flight for him.

Do they come from a big family/are they a family person? He has one older sister, but he's probably closer with his parents, especially his mom who calls him literally everyday. He's always been a family guy and he's super proud to have one of his own now :')

What animal represents them best? He's a total St. Bernard doggo. Kind and dedicated!

What is a smell that they dislike? He can't stand the hospital/disinfection cleaners smell, it makes him anxious.

Have they broken any bones? Nope!

How would a stranger likely describe them? Handsome cop, duh.

Are they a night owl or a morning bird? Since he's been living with insomnia for a couple years now, he often stays up at night, he kinda got used to it by now.

What is a flavor they hate and a flavor they love? Ed is a big pastry fan, literally any pastry he will devour. He doesn't really like soy based food.

Do they have any hobbies? He's pretty sporty - loves to play basketball, run and swim. Besides that, he likes to journal.

Boom, surprise birthday party! How do they react to surprises? He would obviously be grateful and appreciate the effort, but he's not really big on being the center of attention.

Do they like to wear jewelry? Not anything besides his wedding ring.

Do they have neat or messy handwriting? He has quiteee a messy handwriting.

What are two emotions they feel the most? Calmness and gratitude for sure!

Do they have a favorite fabric? Jo will always thirft the best linen shirts for him, linen all the way.

What kind of accent do they have? He spent his whole life in Newcrest, which in my TS4 realm would be kind of like the New Orleans suburbs (Willow Creek being based on New Orleans) - as his parents were both born and raised in Willow Creek and moved to Newcrest once they got married, the whole family has quite a strong New Orleans accent on them.

Tagging @softsimulation @retrotrait @kitkat4sims @simssong and anyone who likes to do the tag, pls feel tagged by me!

[ravenekrops]

sts time! what's everyone's favourite animal?

oh man i have to do this without projecting.... aughhhh

Agnes: probably raptors, big birds of prey. thinks they're majestic and strong

Ryan: canids! definetely a dog person :] he had a few during his childhood so he's got a soft spot for them

Lisabel: butcherbirds i feel like she's the kind of person to like and maybe keep big spiders or other dangerous venomous bugs (general term), probably handle them too. don't worry, she can concoct any antidotes she could possibly need by herself :}

Eric: big dog breeds :] german shepherd, bloodhound, great pyrenee, St Bernard, most sheepdogs

Léan: extinct animals! their special interest :3 she changes favorite animal every time he discovers a new one. he's full of love for every single creature!!!

Rask'r: shalks! they're crunchy and their fiery powers leave a nice spicy aftertaste in the mouth 😋 snacks aside, it's guars. he used to work as a guar herd when he was a kid

Raz: his lycanthropy is like a magnet to animals but with the same poles, animals get very defensive when he's around bc they sense danger from him. not a lot to choose from. he'd go with wolves just for the kinship

Donovan: doesn't have a favorite animal. he hates seagulls tho

Lee: anything small enough is prey, anything big enough is predator. i guess humans would fall right in the middle of that scale... 🤔

Vreytus: songbirds. he likes the melodies

Bug: bugs

Voirdity: birds, obviously! otherwise voirds wouldn't be shaped after birds lol. not sure if it has a favorite one, tho

Chad: what's the biggest, baddest, most threatening animal he can think of on the spot? bald eagle? pitbull? wolf? lion? he doesn't really care about the answer as long as it makes him look cool

Lewis: as a xenobiologist, he has lots of love for tiny creatures and would kill (metaphorically) to go to Xen or other worlds to study their fauna. back in Black Mesa, he could spend hours without end observing the alien enclosures, getting so caught up in their wonder that he usually forgot to take notes on their behavior lol. he has a special fondness and fascination for metamorphosis or lifeforms that undergo big changes through their life cycle, so his fave would probably be the spore launcher, the larval form of shock troopers

Storyteller Saturday is ON throughout the weekend!! Come send an ask!

[confield]

PSA

If you're into any of the following bands/artists: Autechre, Ryoji Ikeda, Pan Sonic, alva noto, Bernard Parmegiani, Alice Coltrane, Pharoah Sanders, TODAY IS THE DAY, Peter Rehberg, Merzbow, Oval, Yasunao Tone, Pierre Schaeffer, Pierre Henry, Hecker, Unwound, Albert Ayler, Sun Ra, John Cage, Muslimgauze, Jan Jelinek, Anthony Braxton, Farmers Manual, Daphne Oram, Mira Calix, Einstürzende Neubauten, Eric Dolphy, Karleinz Stockhausen, Maryanne Amacher, Edgar Varèse, Iannis Xenakis, Laurel Halo, Fennesz, General Magic, Gescom, Ramleh, Prurient, Vladimir Ussachevsky, Pauline Oliveros, William Basinski, Luc Ferrari, Matthew Shipp, City of Caterpillar, Kouhei Matsunaga, Sensational, Mike Ink, Coil, Nobukazu Takemura, Halim El-Dabh, Martin Tetrault, Tod Dockstader, Matana Roberts, Chicago Underground Quartet, Microstoria, Vladislav Delay, Sonny Sharrock, Beatrice Dillon, SND, Mark Fell, Mika Vainio, Robin Rimbaud, Darkthrone, Christoph de Babalon, Toshimaru Nakamura, Steve Roden, Lithops, Nisennenmondai, Tackhead, Aaron Dilloway, Henry Flynt, Foehn, Yamantaka Eye, Portraits of Past, Pg99, Maxwell Sterling, Slint, Big Black, Russell Haswell, Sébastien Roux, Loraine James, Surgeon, Terrence Dixon, Underground Resistance, Dopplereffekt, Plastikman, Wolfgang Voigt, Robert Hood, Cecil Taylor, Matmos, Kangding Ray, Hijokaidan, Babyfather, Team Doyobi, Paul Lansky, Art Ensemble of Chicago, Soul Oddity, Kid606, Hugh Le Caine, Actress, Klein, Sven-Åke Johansson, Porter Ricks, Luciano Berio, The Third Eye Foundation, Grischa Lichtenberger, Replikants, Genocide Organ, Joji Yuasa, The Jesus Lizard, African Head Charge, Drive Like Jehu, Peter Brotzmann, Sonic Youth, Jawbox, Chino Amobi, Luke Vibert, James Ferraro, Florian Hecker, Tim Hecker, Eyehategod, Gorgoroth, Basic Channel, Maurizio, Steve Reich, Mouse on Mars, Burial, The Future Sound of London, Dean Blunt, Susumu Yokota, Skream, Benga, Farben, Polvo, Keiji Haino, The Black Dog, LFO, The Bug, SOPHIE, Global Communication, B12, Jlin, Stereolab, Pole, Kraftwerk, Yellow Magic Orchestra, Juan Atkins, Wormrot, Oli XL, Napalm Death, Orchid, Bitch Magnet, Codeine, Microstoria, Moss Icon, Frank Bretschneider, Joey Beltram, Jeromes Dream, A Guy Called Gerald or DJ Manny

I am looking for a sugar baby to spoil with a $5000 weekly allowance. DM me if you are interested.

[puppytodlr]

Hai, I don't know much about therians, so I hope it's okay to ask this!

I saw that your "species" is canine, but do you have a specific breed you feel connected to/ identity as?

I'm not a therian, but if I was an animal I'd probably also be a dog.. and even thought I'm pretty small irl, I'd probably be a chill, big breed, like a Leonberger or a Saint Bernard.. maybe a mix of those!

My favorite animals are Cows, Rats, Hyenas and Dogs!

Ello :D this is a wonderful ask

I have a list of my theriantypes actually, I don't believe I've stated them before so this is a perfect opportunity to do so!

My theriantypes; Saint Bernard! I've figured this out recently, I'm a smaller person irl as well but that doesn't mean our thriantype would be the same, its more of a connection based thing if that makes sense?

Pacific coastal wolf: I'm such a water pup, and for that ofc my theriantypes also love water. I remember learning to swim all summer when i was 7, getting over my fear of going to deeper parts of the pool, or even not stepping foot in the water because of a teeny tiny bug or dirt XD w

Wolves are very close to my childhood growing up, every canine in my life treated me with sm love, i knew i was connected to canine's in some way, so ofc i dug deeper into it and found i wasnt the only one :) there's a whole COMMUNITY<333

Labrador: This one is also fairly new to the list as well, starting from this year. Specifically im a black lab! Another water doggo to the list

Rottweiler/German shepherd mix: And lastly, this theriantype is closest to me in terms of shifting the most ^^

I definitely want to at least get one dog that is my theriantype, which i think would be pretty neat :)

[demon-blood-youths]

Hi DBT! Do you guys have game night at times with the cursed vixens and maybe the other fractions? If so, what do you guys do?

@the-silver-peahen-residence "Yep! We play lots of board games. Our favorite ones are Uno, Monopoly, Cards Against Humanity, Scrabble, Jenga and oh! Quiplash!" Ink grins. "We play with some of the fractions and we seen the games between other fraction's members. It's pretty nice to see them having fun!" Ink smiles.

---- Scrabble -----

"Hm...I see." Ethan nods while he puts the word spelling, FEATHER. Rex nods, and since the scrabble pieces has braille into them at the back of pieces and with the help of Kali, tells him the words as he is blind. He enjoy this games as he whispers to Kali. Kali grins and puts down the word. RADIANT Willow hums. "Not bad." She smiles as she puts down the word, DAZZLE. "Hmmm..." Agtha is there as well. She puts down, "AMAZE" where on taking advantage of the Z. The four players like scrabble since they can put down big words as a way to challenge themselves and outsmarting the others.

It's their favorite game. ---- Uno ---- "Damn it! I gotta draw six?!" Fin said as he can't believe this. Winter chuckles, seeing this while the other Seasoned Demon warriors were playing Uno with the Lupins.

Bernard join in the game as well with Zed.

"Ha!" Zed grins.

Autumn giggles, "Hehehe."

Spring chuckles while Pierce pats him on the head and Ahmed hums.

But then Fin smirks, "PSYCHE!" He puts down a draw 2+ switching to a different color. Winter gasped and looks at Fin. "How could you?" She puts a hand over her mouth feigning shock.

"Sorry! Nothing personal! I just wanted to win." Fin grins. Winter narrows her eyes and smirks, "Here's another 2 then."

To which Summer gasps, "YOU TWO!!!"

Winter and Fin high-five each other with a smile.

"Ugh! Now I got to pick up 10 cards?!" Summer cries.

----- Jenga ----

"Come on, you got this, Ashely!" Joshua said as Ashely is slowly pulling out a piece out of the structure. Eyes from the Knights and Butterflies are focused on the Jenga as Ashely is pulling a piece out.

And then...

She pulls a piece.

And tower has not fallen. "DAMN IT!" Vanessa shouted.

"YES!"

"DUDE! SHE'S OUR OPPONENT!" Vanessa yelled making Joshua yelp. "Oh right sorry! Also! Good one, Ashely!" Joshua said quickly.

Angel is laughing while Vanessa shakes her head. Ashely is blushing while T-Bone and Hex are praising her for a good job she has done.

"T-thank you, Joshua. It's your turn!"

--- "Also! Matt told me that he played some board games with Port Mafia. He asked to borrow some and I let him!" Ink grinned.

----- Cards Against Humanity ------

"I swear...something is wrong with you guys..." Chuuya shakes his head at this, holding the card. Ryunosuke and Matt smirks while Gin giggles while Jason is laughing.

"Dude...I'm likeing these Horror guys!" Motojirō Kajii is laughing his ass off seeing the card in Chuuya's had. Yumeno is also giggling.

Matt grins, "Not me."

Ryunosuke shakes his head, "Not me either." He said, sipping a glass of water.

"Seriously...what the fuck is this!" Chuuya puts his head on his hand while waving the card in this hand. "Who come up with this??? WHOSE CARD IS THIS?!"

"That was Sid..." Michizō Tachihara answers.

"Really?"

"Sorry..I read a lot of macabre novels." Sid said. "However..that wasn't me." Sid waves his hand. Charlie giggles along with Shrika and Willie, laughing at the cards they put down.

"That was me." Pete answered.

"OF COURSE! Why am I not freaking surprised!" Chuuya rolls his eyes. "Bug boy."

"At least you admit that I won this round."

"Yeah, yeah!"

----

"So yeah! The fractions love the board games and it all depends which board game they like!" Said Ink.

[agapemastiffs]

Gentle Giants with Gigantic Hearts: A Look at Neapolitan Mastiff Females and The Adorable Offspring

So, you've been bitten by the Neapolitan Mastiff bug? Congratulations! You're about to embark on a journey filled with colossal cuddles, impressive head rolls, and enough drool to rival the Nile (okay, maybe a slight exaggeration, but you get the picture). But before you bring home one of these magnificent creatures, there's a crucial decision to make: Team Male Neapolitan Mastiff or Team Female Neapolitan Mastiff? This article will delve into the world of the Neapolitan Mastiff lady, exploring her unique personality traits and how they translate to both adulthood and puppyhood.

The Neapolitan Mastiff Matriarch: A Guardian Angel with a Side of Sass

Female Neapolitan Mastiffs are known for their intelligence, loyalty, and surprisingly independent streak. Don't mistake their independence for aloofness – they crave a strong, consistent leader (that's you!). Early socialization and training are crucial to building a trusting bond with your Neapolitan Mastiff matriarch. Once that bond is established, you'll gain a fiercely loyal companion who will happily guard your home with the watchful gaze of a mythical guardian. However, be prepared for a touch of sass along the way. These ladies know their own minds and might occasionally question your authority (with a raised eyebrow or a well-timed sigh).

The Deep Woof (and Selective Hearing): A Built-in Security System (Maybe)

These ladies are bred for guarding, and their protective instincts are strong. They'll bark with the booming voice of a disgruntled opera singer at anything suspicious, whether it's a rogue squirrel or a mail carrier just trying to do their job. While their impressive bark is enough to deter most, continued socialization is key to ensure their guard dog tendencies don't morph into over-protectiveness. Dog parks, walks in different neighborhoods, and introducing them to new people will go a long way. However, remember that independent streak? Don't be surprised if they decide to guard the house in their own unique way, which might involve ignoring your calls to come inside when a suspicious leaf appears (because let's face it, leaves can be quite menacing creatures in a Neapolitan Mastiff's mind).

Myth Busting: The (Relatively) Manageable Drool Deluge

Compared to some other giant breeds, female Neapolitan Mastiffs are considered slightly less prone to excessive drool. Sure, there will be slobbery toys and the occasional beard acquired through enthusiastic greetings, but it's nowhere near the Niagara Falls situation you might encounter with a St. Bernard. Think of it as a built-in self-lubricating system for those impressive head rolls (and a constant reminder to keep a supply of drool rags handy).

The Upkeep of a Gentle Giant: Think Big on Exercise and Love

Taking care of a female Neapolitan Mastiff requires dedication (and a strong back). These active pups (well, active for their size) need plenty of exercise – walks, playtime, and activities that challenge their minds. A bored Mastiff is a recipe for destructive chewing and excessive barking. Think of them as royalty with a gentle spirit and a need for moderate exercise with plenty of mental stimulation, and you'll be on the right track. Positive reinforcement training is key, as they respond best to praise, treats, and patience.

The Neapolitan Mastiff Munchkin Brigade: Adorable Wrinkly Floofs with a Taste for Mayhem

Now, let's talk about those irresistible Neapolitan Mastiff puppies! Both male and female pups are bundles of cuteness with a tendency to trip over their oversized paws and leave muddy paw prints the size of dinner plates. However, the female Neapolitan Mastiff puppy might be slightly less boisterous than their male counterparts. They'll still wrestle with their siblings and explore their world with boundless enthusiasm, but they might be a touch more receptive to training from the get-go (although stubbornness can certainly bloom early on in both genders).

Wrinkle Maintenance: Keeping Neapolitan Mastiff Fresh 

One of the most distinctive features of a Neapolitan Mastiff, especially females (who tend to have slightly less prominent wrinkles), are their impressive facial folds. These wrinkles, while undeniably adorable, require special attention to prevent infections and discomfort. Here's how to keep your Neapolitan Mastiff's wrinkles clean and healthy:

Daily Wipes: Gently wipe your puppy's wrinkles with a damp cloth after meals and playtime to remove any food debris or dirt buildup. Use a mild, dog-safe cleanser specifically formulated for wrinkle care.

Weekly Deep Clean: Once a week, give your Neapolitan Mastiff a more thorough wrinkle cleaning. Dip a washcloth in warm water with a mild cleanser, gently clean each fold, and then pat them dry with a soft towel.

Drying is Crucial: Moisture trapped in the wrinkles is a breeding ground for bacteria. After cleaning, ensure all the wrinkles are completely dry. You can use a soft blow dryer on a cool setting to help with this process.

Apple Cider Vinegar Rinse (Optional): Some dog owners swear by a diluted apple cider vinegar rinse as a natural way to combat yeast buildup in the wrinkles. Mix one tablespoon of apple cider vinegar with a cup of warm water. Dip a washcloth in the solution, wring it out so it's damp but not dripping, and wipe the wrinkles. Always rinse the area with clean water afterwards and pat them dry thoroughly.

Living the Wrinkled Life

Living with a female Neapolitan Mastiff is certainly an adventure. They'll turn heads wherever they go, you'll constantly answer questions about their unique wrinkles (prepare to educate the masses about these amazing Molosser dogs!), and be prepared for the occasional "OMG, is that a lion?!" (Let's just spread awareness about these gentle giants). But through the occasional drool puddle, the enthusiastic greetings that leave you slightly windblown, and the never-ending battle against wrinkles and fur tumbleweeds, you'll gain a loyal, loving companion who will enrich your life in ways you never imagined.

A Commitment for Life

Neapolitan Mastiffs, both male and female, have a lifespan of 10-12 years. That's a long time, so make sure you're prepared for the commitment before bringing one home. Consider your lifestyle – do you have the time and space for a large, active dog with a mind of its own? Are you prepared for the regular grooming, training, and potential stubbornness that comes with the territory?

Conclusion: A Love as Big as Their Wrinkles

If you can answer those questions with a resounding "yes," then a female Neapolitan Mastiff might just be your perfect match. These gentle giants, with their independent spirit, unwavering loyalty, and impressive head rolls, will become an integral part of your family. They'll be your loyal shadow on short walks (because let's face it, these guys aren't exactly marathon runners), your cuddly companion on movie nights, and your fierce protector (with a side of selective hearing) 24/7.

So, if you're looking for a canine companion who will be your loyal guardian, your walking cuddle monster (with a side of drool), and a constant source of amusement (because watching a giant, wrinkled floof navigate the world is endlessly entertaining), then a female Neapolitan Mastiff might just be your perfect queen of the castle (or couch, or wherever she decides to claim as her throne). 

Just remember, with great cuteness comes great responsibility (and a never-ending supply of drool rags, lint rollers, wrinkle wipes, and toys built to withstand the power of a gentle giant's chew). But trust us, the love, laughter, and companionship a Neapolitan Mastiff brings are more than worth the extra effort. Welcome your future queen to the home – she's ready to reign over your heart with a quiet dignity and a love as deep as her wrinkles.

A Watchful Protector: For The Progression Of The Ages

Mastiffs, gentle giants with ancient roots, come in various breeds. Loyal guardians with calm temperaments, they require ample space, training, and experienced owners due to their size and strength. Though some breeds have wrinkles, all Mastiffs offer a lifetime of devotion.

Neapolitan Mastiff For Sale