#bia live tour

[1000-year-old-virgin]

[dokiyeom]

i just remembered that some people here now know what i look like,,, that is so embarrassing how r those people gonna take anything i say or write seriously,,, bye i’m gonna crawl into a hole

[swept-you-out-again]

Ok all things considered I think that was a pretty great set list. My only changes would be that she maybe cut a few songs from some of the earlier eras so she can do more midnights songs

[hotdogct]

jingle ball sets are truly the worst kind of fever dream bc they're exactly 20 minutes long™️ and move so fast that the only thing i remember about dream's set last night is screaming 'THATS MY SHITHEAD' (chenle) to my very patient and exhausted boyfriend 💀💀💀💀

[blueside-hobi]

I would have reacted that way too if my friend did that to me like I would feel like such an afterthought :( U better still go on your own and have fun don’t even think about them!!!! ❤️❤️

I would feel awful if I went on my own though because Yoongi is her bias and I would just be thinking about wanting her to be there. But it's probably a better idea than going with them because I'll just be a third wheel. I guess I have a couple weeks to figure out what I'm doing, assuming that either of us get presale.

[akirathedramaqueen]

The bias is not always conscious

And that's the case with Stolas. That's it, that's basically the post, so you can count it as your tl;dr, but let me elaborate. :)

(A little gratitude note! Sorry @tealvenetianmask, I failed being concise here, but I thank you for encouraging me to put it all together :3 I also thank you for our conversations about Stolas and about museums in particular which heavily contributed to it)

I think there's some misunderstanding when people get offended by the suggestion that Stolas acts classist/racist. It seems that people assume we’re implying he is malicious and intentional with it, but the actual problem is that he doesn't think.

S2EP2, Seeing Stars, 1:29

The problematic behavior we're discussing is reflexive and internalized. Stolas was raised in an environment where the lower demon class is looked down upon, and while he believes he expresses nothing but deep respect for Blitzø and treats him as an equal…

Goodnight, Blitzø. S1EP7, Ozzie's, 14:50

And while you can see from this bow that this intention is sincere, which is both wonderful and fascinating—he preserved this profound gesture ever since he was a kid, despite being actively discouraged from doing so!...

[Stolas]: I'm Stolas! It's nice... Ouch! [Paimon]: Don't bow to that one! He bows to us! Idiot! S2EP1, The Circus, 7:40

He was still raised in privilege and influenced by the narratives around him. For him, it's acceptable because that's what he was taught is fine. It's part of his everyday speech, and he never actually asks Blitzø, or anyone else, how they feel about the literally belittling nicknames (like literally—do you notice how often he uses the word "little" when referring to imps?).

I mean... there's a lot, okay? I'm just going to pull out some examples off the top of my head. All of them are from Season 1, and I'll explain why later.

I was hoping you brave little imps would accompany us! S1EP2, Loo Loo Land, 5:15

Ugh, that's better... Where's Blitzy? He's my knight in shining armor, not you, littler ones! S1EP2, Loo Loo Land, 13:22

And it [grimoire] isn't supposed to be lent out to itty-bitty imps like yourself. S1EP5, The Harvest Moon Festival, 0:30

Greetings, tiny Wrath Ring imps! S1EP5, The Harvest Moon Festival, 8:22

[Stolas, in the background]: Who dares threaten my little impish plaything? S1EP6, Truth Seekers, 18:20

How the fuck did you get caught by humans? Are you little creatures not being careful up here? S1EP6, Truth Seekers, 19:38

He also takes pride in being part of Ars Goetia. That pride seeps into his mind whether he wants it to or not. He lives in a huge palace, never worries about money, can arrange a seat in a club that’s always booked out, and gets admitted to a hospital immediately, while hellhounds wait five years for a Hellbies shot.

Being part of the Goetia family is rather valuable, you know. S1EP2, Loo Loo Land, 4:39

Most of these examples come from Season 1 because, after the disastrous Ozzie’s date, Stolas begins to unconsciously cut back on this language. He seems to sense that something is wrong, though he doesn’t fully understand why. However, he is acutely aware of the problems with the transaction and the unfair dynamics it creates, and he is serious about putting Blitzø on equal ground by providing him with the means to run his business independently of Stolas.

And still, he maintains full control over the conversation during the Full Moon meeting, immediately dismisses Blitzø after one mistake, and throws him out. He continues to impose his narrative on Blitzø and…

I don't look down on you! How many times do I— When have I ever?! S2EP9, Apology Tour, 2:45

When have you ever indeed, Stolas? You literally look down on Blitzø saying that. This moment illustrates the problem clearly. He isn’t lying when he says he doesn’t look down on Blitzø because he genuinely believes he doesn’t.

Despite all said, Stolas is making a tremendous effort and is progressing, and he is far ahead of Stella, who is openly classist/racist and very conscious of her biases. So I believe—no, I know—he will get there one day. But not today.

This is something I take quite seriously, and I think people need to understand how dangerous this subtlety can be, as it happens all the time in real life too.

How often do you ask yourself why medical research groups are predominantly represented by white, cis, upper-middle-class males, and how this affects the efficiency of treatments suggested in these studies for everyone else—women, people of color, non-binary folks, and those who struggle financially?

How often do you visit museums and see art created by wealthy aristocrats who defined what constitutes 'fine art,' while 'folk art'—often created by marginalized communities—is overlooked and lost to time?

I could elaborate further on how deep and cruel this bias is, but I’ll stop here. I just ask you to consider why you might get offended when someone points out Stolas's subtle bigotry and why you might downplay it compared to the loud, aggressive Blitzø, whose anger and avoidant issues are obvious.

Just sit with it.

[poweringthroughthis]

fever dream | nakamoto yuta

nsfw, mdni

pair: yuta x male reader

desc: Being an avid NCTzen for a while now, you can't believe the events that transpire once you finally get to attend the NCT concert in your country, and meet your biggest bias.

warnings: dirty talk, oral, anal s*x

It was most definitely a fever dream. Korean fans are truly lucky with how often they get opportunities to see their favorite artists perform live. The rest of us, on the other hand, check whether the name of our country has been included in the artist's list for the latest world tour, while we happily cheer them on from the confines of our homes. But as they say, good things shall come to those who wait. You never thought such a day would actually come but it has, and here you are, standing at the entrance of the stadium that NCT was set to perform at today!

For obvious reasons, your nerves were all over the place. You couldn't get rid of the giddiness no matter how much you tried to normalize the day mentally. In fact, the idea of soothing your nerves was what brought you here, at the venue.....four hours in advance. The entry gates were closed and security had barely begun overseeing the arrangements. As you took in the surroundings, two or three vans came to a halt in front of the gate. It didn't take much of a genius to guess the Neos had arrived. Your heart started ringing in your eardrums. You were about to see them in the flesh.

They were surrounded by bodyguards from all directions but you could see a comparatively relaxed formation of their security since no fans were here yet. You were admiring the boys from a distance as they came out of the vans in sweats, not wishing to misuse this opportunity and get in their personal space. Then you saw him, and your heart stopped for a second. Your bias, Nakamoto Yuta. He was absolutely ethereal. You almost missed his brief glance at you, chalking it up to your delusions. But it was hard not to faint when he asked the security guard something, pointing discreetly in your direction before he went in, trailing the other members.

The guard gestured you over but you were still somewhat confused. "Hey, you! You're here for the concert, aren't you? Mr. Yuta said you can wait backstage if you want to." Your eyes widened comically. Did you hear that right? You were afraid you were going to need CPR, this was a little too surreal for a random Saturday.

"um, but can I ask why?" you managed to croak out.

"Kid, do I look like I know that? Get in if you want to, or keep standing in the heat. I have work to do." he replied gruffly and you quickly entered the premises.

Finding the green rooms wasn't much of a hassle, with the halls being void of anyone and a door reading 'NCT 127' in ginormous font. The rooms must be divided based on subunits, you figured. The door made a creaking noise as you you shakily opened it and peeked inside.

Only one person was present, you couldn't see their face since they had their back towards you but it was easy to confirm by their hair color. It was Yuta. He seemed to be busy, either doing vocal warm ups or texting, but you had to clear this misunderstanding. "Hi? Um, I'm sorry if I'm interrupting but-"

"No, it's fine. You can come in." he turned around, smiling at you. He had a smile so radiant, you wondered how many hearts he had already captured with that smile alone. "I told the security to let you in."

"Uh, thanks? I think there has been a huge misunderstanding, I don't know you personally but you're free to correct me if I'm wrong." you replied, slightly more nervous now. He raised his eyebrow at that and motioned you to go on. "But, you're like a celebrity and I'm a nobody. I just want to make sure you're not mistaking me for someone else and you aren't in trouble or anything. It's okay if you need me to leave."

"Well, I've never met a 'nobody' before." he grinned, "You are very attractive, if I'm being honest. And you're welcome to stay as long as you want."

"T-thank you"

He was sitting on the sofa, the one closest to the door and he patted the space beside him, motioning you to sit down. You were unsure if that was appropriate, considering you had met the guy not even five minutes ago but it didn't feel right to deny.

"What's your name, cutie?"

"Uh, it's y/n"

"That's cute. Do you have any social media?"

"Y-yes."

"Let me follow you then, I don't really post but I'd like seeing pictures of you."

"Um, okay. If you want to, I mean." you were a stuttering mess, you couldn't believe this was happening. He followed your instagram handle, liking a few posts before following and you had never felt more self conscious in your life. You wanted to hide, you knew the pictures he was liking were all your cringey photos and selfies from your rare confidence boosts.

"Hey, are you shy around me?"

"Y-yes...sorry, this is really overwhelming. I've just been such a big fan for the longest-"

"A fan, huh? Tell me, is it a big turn off if I kissed you right now?"

You stared at him incredulously. "Um, well...I'm not sure if you're asking for my opinion."

"Oh, but I am." he smirked, moving closer. He had a hand placed on your thigh and his face was mere inches away. "What's the verdict?"

"No, not a turn off. Not at all." you said, barely above a whisper.

"Great. You're a sweet little thing if I've ever seen one." he said before closing the gap and capturing your lips in a gentle kiss. It was slow and sensual. He tasted like strawberry, probably because of the lip balm you thought.

Your hands went up to caress his face, and he placed his hands on your waist, bringing you even closer. You couldn't tell how much time had passed, the two of you were completely engrossed in each other. His hand trailed down to your ass and gave it a squeeze, eliciting a surprised gasp. You didn't want to, but you broke the kiss and stared at him.

"I'm not going to push you if you don't want this, I'd like to have your consent."

"I want it."

"Are you sure? We're complete strangers, you have no reason to trust me."

"I know, but I've had a crush on you for a long time. You can do whatever you want, honestly"

"Fuck, that's hot. I don't know how I'm gonna control myself, but I'm willing to try."

With that, he went back to kissing you. He started getting a little more aggressive with his movements, sucking your lower lip. He slowly trailed his tongue on your bottom lip, asking for entrance and you opened your mouth slightly, letting his tongue in. He was so experienced, you could only melt in his arms. You tried your best to keep up but were mostly overwhelmed. It was..your first steamy encounter, after all.

You broke the kiss, a string of saliva still connecting your mouths. Yuta stared at you with lust filled eyes, a smirk plastered on his face. "You're doing so good for me, kitten."

"I am?"

"Yeah, I'm going to make you feel good, so good." He got up and locked the door, turning back towards you and you realized that this was happening. He went back to sit next to you, bringing his lips back onto yours, his hands going under your shirt. You moaned softly as his fingers grazed your nipple. "You're so sensitive."

You broke the kiss. "Yuta, I'm a virgin."

He groaned and kissed your neck. "I can't believe I get to pop your cherry." He continued trailing kisses down your neck, his hands squeezing your nipples. Your hands roamed his back and shoulders, enjoying the way his muscles rippled under your touch.

"Take your shirt off, baby." He removed his own shirt, exposing his well built upper body. You felt yourself grow wetter just by looking at him. His body was truly godlike, his toned muscles glistening. You couldn't help but stare.

"You're so beautiful" he whispered. "You're going to look even more beautiful once I'm done with you." He started unbuttoning your shirt, taking it off completely and throwing it away. Your breath hitched, your body was exposed and Yuta was staring at it like a starved animal. He bent his head down and captured a nipple between his lips, licking and sucking, his fingers teasing the other. You were a moaning mess, the feeling was too much.

"Does it feel good?"

"Yes, god yes"

"Good. Tell me, have you ever touched yourself, baby?"

"Y-yes"

"And what were you thinking about when you did it?"

"You"

He groaned at that and pulled down your pants, along with your underwear. He kissed his way down from your chest to your thighs. His mouth was hovering over your dick and he looked up at you with a devilish smirk, "I'm going to suck you off, is that alright?"

"Please, I've never felt anyone's mouth down there"

"Good." He started by giving a tentative lick and you whimpered. He smirked and licked the underside, swirling his tongue around the tip. He slowly took the whole thing in his mouth and you threw your head back, moaning.

"F-fuck, feels so good"

He was bobbing his head, his tongue swirling around your dick, his cheeks hollowed. The feeling was incredible, you had never felt anything like it. You were bucking your hips and gripping his hair, trying not to cum.

"Cum in my mouth, baby"

And you were a goner. This was the craziest day ever. Yuta just said that to you. You wished you could replay the sound of that a hundred times over.

You came in his mouth, and he swallowed it all, moaning. He stood up and licked his lips. You were a panting mess, coming down from your high.

"You're such a good boy for me"

"M-more"

"Don't worry, we're not done yet"

He started undoing his belt, taking his pants off and throwing them aside. He was wearing a pair of black boxers, and his erection was evident. He pulled them down, his dick springing free and you were in awe. It was big, and thick, and you couldn't help but stare. He chuckled, "Like what you see?"

"Yes, it's so big"

"And it's all yours, baby." He stroked himself a few times, his precum leaking. "Are you ready, kitten?"

"Yes"

"Get on your knees." You obediently got down on your knees, facing away from him. He lined his dick with your entrance, rubbing it against your hole. You nodded. He slowly pushed the tip in, and it felt like your whole body was on fire.

"Fuck, you're so tight"

He grabbed your hips, and started thrusting, slowly. You were moaning and whimpering, the feeling was so intense. You had never felt anything like it. You were being stretched open, your hole being filled to the brim.

"Y-Yuta, faster"

"You like that, huh? You like my cock?"

"Y-yes, I love it"

He picked up the pace, his thrusts becoming faster. "Thought you were innocent, baby. Who would have guessed you'd turn out to be such a slut."

"Fuck, Yuta!"

"That's right, say my name."

You were being pounded into the floor, and you were loving every second of it. He was fucking you so good, his cock hitting your sweet spot. You were moaning and whimpering, unable to hold back.

"Fuck, you're so sexy. I'm close."

He chuckled. "My sweet little angel, you can't get enough of me."

You were close to climaxing, the pleasure was so intense, you could barely think straight. You were a moaning mess, Yuta was grunting and breathing heavily. He was pounding into you, his thrusts becoming more erratic.

"After today, I'll make sure you keep coming back for more. Make you feel good, just like this. Gonna ruin you for anyone else. You'll be begging for my cock, and only my cock."

"Fuck, Yuta!" You cried out, nearing your orgasm, his dirty talk sending you over the edge. You could tell you wouldn't last much longer.

"I'll turn you into a dumb cock slut. I'll train you to take my dick in your ass every day. I'll fuck you so hard, you won't be able to walk."

"Please, fuck me harder. Make me yours."

"You'll be walking to the concert ground funny. You'll be so fucked out, you won't be able to function. I'll make sure of that."

"F-fuck, Yuta!"

With that, you were both pushed over the edge, and you came, hard. Your vision went white, and your body was wracked with pleasure. You could feel him filling you up, his warm seed filling your ass as he pulled your head back towards him, neck straining as he sloppily kissed you.

You were both panting and spent. You had just had sex with the man of your dreams. He was still inside of you, and he was still kissing you. It was a passionate kiss, and you could feel his adoration for you. You were so lucky.

"You did so good for me, baby." He whispered. "Such a good boy for me."

You were too blissed out to reply. Your brain was not cooperating with the rest of your body, still in a state of euphoria.

"Let's get you cleaned up."

Yuta picked you up bridal style, taking you to the bathroom, your head resting on his chest. You had never felt so loved.

"Give me your number? I promise we can sneak off to a date whenever I'm off schedules. It won't be that easy, I know."

"I'd like that."

"It's a date then. I hope I didn't disappoint" he smirked.

"I should be asking that. I was a virgin."

"Baby, I'm happy you chose me. And if I may add, you were amazing. If not for the security standing outside, I'd have kept fucking you throughout the night."

"Oh god, please don't make me blush"

"I'll make it up to you."

And he did. The next concert stop, you found yourself on his bed, naked, being ravaged by him. And the day after that, and the day after that. Soon the two of you were something more, and neither person could have asked for more.

Maybe reaching the concert venue too early wasn't as stupid as you'd thought.

[aliendes]

SVT Kinks (NSFW)

OMG! My first NSFW SVT post. If you've been around for a while you know I'm not new to smut, it's almost exclusively what I wrote for BTS. You can still find all my old writings on this blog if you are interested. But this is my first smut (that is posted) for SVT. Here is what I think their kinks are. Unedited, just for funsies, don't take me too seriously.

OBV NSFW so MDNI.

warnings: smut, lots of it. don't like, don't read.

Seungcheol (S.coups)

You can’t tell me this man doesn’t have some sort of cum play/breeding kink thing going on. I mean come on. He screams breeding kink to me, and I know so many of you agree. I can imagine him getting so excited over the prospect of fucking you raw for the first time, asking you over and over if you’re sure it’s okay. He would never want to cross a line, but god DAMN if he isn’t going to fill you up and have the time of his life doing so. Would probably play with his cum after filling you up, tbh. Would enjoy watching it drip out of you. 

Jeonghan 

Listen, Jeonghan is my ult bias, but I had such a hard time coming up with one for him. BUT I legitimately believe that this man is into breathplay. Him or you? Probably both. But I can imagine him loving the way his HUGE (have you seen this man’s hands?!) hands look around your delicate throat. Would love to almost have you passing out (in a safe way!) before letting up and letting you catch your breath as you cum. lsahgjah;dfg;hdnfkl

Joshua

I really think Shua is into spanking. Something about this man tells me that he loves to spank his significant others. He would probably be super into fucking you doggy style, having you on your hands and knees as he pounded into you and slapped your ass. Might even be into a little impact play… did someone say pussy slapping?

Jun

I have this feeling that Jun is suuuuuuper kinky. I think he would be into exhibitionism or maybe even voyeurism. I also think he is into threesomes, maybe even more? You can’t tell me he isn’t into super kinky shit, like have you seen this man? Would probably be the most likely to have you in bed with other members. You can pull kinky Jun from me cold dead haNDS!

Soonyoung

Probably the most likely to into exhibitionism. I think Soonyoung would love to play with you with friends/members around. Might even ask you if you’re ok with one of them watches as he fucks you or fingers you on the couch. Would probably even fuck you in the practice room (after hours of course) but wouldn’t lock the door.

Wonwoo

Cockwarming. This man is so into it. He would love to have you sitting on his cock (or your mouth) while he plays games or watches movies with you. He is so calm I can imagine him letting it go on for so long that you get so whiny and bratty about it, just so he can punish you later.

Jihoon

Recording. Whether it’s just your voices or a whole-ass sex tape, I can see Jihoon as the type to want to reminisce on your times together. Might even has a private folder on his phone that has all the dirty videos he asks you to send when he’s on tour. 

Seokmin

Fucking you in places that aren’t the bedroom. The floor? Yes. The couch? Yes. The shower? Hell yes. He would love fucking you against every single surface of your house but also maybe more public places? He probably wouldn’t be into exhibitionism, but maybe fucking you in a spare recording room when no one is around? I think he’d be suuuuper into it. 

Mingyu

Strength kink. Point blank. Why are his muscles so big? So he can show off for you. He’s gonna be holding you up, fucking into you with the stamina of a race horse. You cannot tell me Mingyu wouldn’t absolutely PREEN at you gushing over his muscles and how strong he is. C’mon.

Minghao

I know this is probably over used, but I really do think Minghao would be into ropes/shibari. Have you seen that live of him talking about the red ropes behind him? I can only imagine him using red ropes like that to tie you up when you talk back to him….. Ughhhhhhhhhh. 

Seungkwan

Oral. Giving and receiving. I think he would be so into a blowjob backstage in the dressing room before or after a show. I also think this man would be so willing to get on his knees for you whenever you asked. In the shower? Yes, baby. On the couch while you’re watching a movie? Of course, my love. In the kitchen after dinner? Fuck yes!

Vernon

Another one I think would be into breathplay/choking. HOWEVER, I also think he has a bit of a mean streak and might use this as a punishment? Idkkkk don’t wanna think about Vernon talking dirty to you after you were just SO bratty to him while his huge hand is wrapped around your throat. Is probably a brat tamer tbh.

Chan

Out of all the members, I think Chan would be the most into roleplay. He literally has like 4 alter egos. I think this translates to the bedroom but in a way that he just likes the build-up. Maybe asks you to roleplay as his personal assistant that day and lives for the build-up as you do his bidding for the day, only to be fucked out on his cock in bed later that night.

[cutehoons02]

KISS ME,KISS ME,KISS ME LOVE ME

*pairing: nerd Heeseung x reader

*tags: fluffy,kiss,smut, jealousy

*synopsis: Heeseung didn't mind you because he was busy playing video games like any nerd so you could only do one thing "tease him"

*word count: 2k (Tell me if you like this kind of stories:)

—REBLOG if you enjoyed

© cutehoons02 all rights reserved 2024.

(English is not my native language)

Heeseung had two personalities and lived completely two lives.

The first was the idol he became super confident on stage with his harmonic voice that made crazy thousands of her fans during the various tours of Enhypen, he loved to flirt with her fans during meet and greet, and as he danced on stage he transformed and loved to emanate that super sexy aura but extremely illegal aura for most of his fans but at the same time, he was a little nerd who loved spending hours playing video games with his friends, Lego building and watching old movies with a nice plate of ramen, especially during the autumn evenings where at five in the afternoon it was already dark in Seoul.

Y/n and Heeseung had not yet formalized their relationship with the other members but every hour or day when Heeseung had time to spend alone he invited her into his dormitory, especially in his room, or they spent those hours walking in places not too crowded of the Korean capital or they played basketball in one of the many parks that were near their apartments; Y/n wasn’t very good at playing basketball but her competitive side always came out because Hee loved to tease people especially that girl who was now part of her heart.

The blue light of the computer illuminated the faces of Heeseung and Y/n, Hee was playing a game that he had given the girl next to him and she had taken note of not giving him more video games because it was almost two hours that he moved his hands in the controller sexy way and at the same time he passed his hands in the hair when he lost a life in the game for exploitation.

Y/n loved those hands especially when they were attached to her hips, when Hee would arrange a strand of her long hair behind her ear, or when the boy with the eyes of a deer made her come countless times in an evening between his fingers.

"Hee, I understand that you love this game but you’re not a nerd who has to spend the whole evening in front of this computer if you haven’t noticed I’ve been next to you for almost two hours and I’m seriously bored, it’s better to see you beat me at basketball at least I know I have your attention!"

a small grin formed between Heeseung’s lips and he felt one of his big hands hold your thigh "Stop behaving like a child and if you have so much need of my attention sit between my legs, within 10 minutes the game ends and I’ll be all yours!" You wanted to seriously sit between her legs and put your head between her neck and smell that delicious mix of hot spices and the scent of laundry that emanated from her skin but she was seriously tired of not being looked after by her "boyfriend"

"Don't worry i let you play, i go to prepare a shield of ramen in the kitchen who knows maybe there will find someone who appreciates my company!" You felt a small laugh come out of Heeseung’s lips and a slight puff went out of your lips. In the kitchen, there was strange silence but immediately after you heard the laughter that you could recognize immediately from the common room that they had the guys, one was that of Jay, and the other of your bias, nobody knew except Heeseung that "ICE PRINCE" was your bias and when he discovered it a slight jealousy took over in Heeseung’s body.

"look who we have here worthy of his presence" A small smile came out from your lips when you felt Jay make fun of you.

<<How come you’re all alone? your boyfriend doesn’t give you the right attention or is still playing video games...>> You loved Sunghoon but sometimes he behaved as if you and Heeseung were not engaged and it was also true because he had not yet asked you to be his girlfriend.

"Don’t worry Hee gives me a lot of attention i came of my own free will to prepare ramen, you want some too, and stop me and Heeseung are not engaged?" you had just stopped in the kitchen to warm up your ramen and Sunghoon oddly came out slightly talkative towards you.

<<If you don’t get your girlfriend back that guy has problems because you do exactly a "cute couple" watch movies together, go to the games rooms together, wear his sweaters as at this moment, and for my bad luck, i have the room next to that of Heeseung and hear your groans, especially your Y/n>> A slight redness made its way into your cheeks and at that moment you just wanted to have the power to disappear because Heeseung had told you that the rooms were soundproof because people like Jay could play guitar in the room.

Heeseung was not at all jealous of his teammates he knew that he could trust all 6 but since he had discovered that your bias was not him Sunghoon had become extremely towards you. As you could have Hoon as bias and stay with him, they had two different characters and even beauty were opposite; Sunghoon was introverted, Sunghoon’s look was enough to stop a possible argument between the members and he was cold enough with the girls instead he liked touching you (maybe too much) wanted to always have physical contact with you, He easily made friends with everyone and loved to flirt with girls. So when he heard Hoon talk to you like that he ran to your side and kissed you in front of the two members of the enhypen, it was not a shy kiss that gave you just awake or when he greeted you to go to work but immediately crashed his lips in yours and made you open your mouth more to get into your tongue and heard a small moan coming from you and this made him proud of himself same.

It was he who made you groan and loved to hear his name come from your lips, it was he who had the luxury of being able to kiss you,he was the only one able to show you the stars while he was inside of him and it was just him that you wanted as a boyfriend and maybe it was time to seriously arrange an appointment but now he just wanted to take you out of the kitchen and be with you in his room.

"The ramen is ready, if you want a little get up to take it, me and Y/ n go to the room" A slight redness was seen in Heeseung’s cheeks but he was drowning in jealousy and also a bit of anger.

<<I recommend you have fun i’ll stay in the living room with Jay and do not make me become an uncle at 22 years old that there are still people like Ni-Ki who for me are still a child to care!>>. Jay and Sunghoon gave each other a high five, they couldn’t understand why their older member hadn’t asked you after almost 6 months of being in a relationship to be his girlfriend and they loved seeing him jealous.

You took Heeseung to his room and sat him in the giant gamer chair that he had in the room and a look full of questions formed in his face from the eyes of deer.

"how come you have reactivated the video games i want to be with you Y/n" A smile came out of your lips and before sitting between her knees I took a beautiful pink lipstick that you loved to wear and that stood out from your white skin and your green eyes.

Now you say that you want to be with me after being next to you for 2 hours and having heard from Sunghoon that he hears me moaning, and that I've been with you for almost 6 months and you haven’t had the balls to ask me to be your girlfriend." you sat between his legs and immediately his big hands will go to touch your waist to get closer to him but you with a small slap remove the feet from Heeseung

"Now play your stupid game as long as i want, and don’t try to touch me or i won’t make you come you can’t touch me for days and we know that when you see me you look like a little puppy who needs attention, especially my touch." Heeseung looked at you with a drool in his mouth, it was rare to see you blubbering and this thing made him even more excited.

You put on your favorite lipstick and you took his face with one hand as you had seen on Tik Tok there was this trend where you kissed your boyfriend with everything but the tongue and you had to see how long it lasted without kissing you.

You kissed Heeseung in his neck socket, in his adam’s apple and now you were trying to give him a kiss in the mole that had in front, and without fear, you pulled up and felt its length become harder and harder between your legs and felt a slight moan come out from his lips.

"What’s your game, Y/n, you want to make me cum in my pants without even touching you? What is this thing that you kiss me for everything and not on my lips." another moan came out of his lips and a hand went in his hair to make him mess a little, you loved to see that gesture because he always did it when he was agitated and as a bitch as you were you rubbed between his pants and felt the controller fall on the ground.

"How come you don’t want to play video games anymore, Hee? Before I left you couldn’t take your eyes off the computer and now you can’t take my eyes off my body" you came to give them a big kiss and he was beautiful, his hair was slightly messy and locks were falling out of his eyes that he tried in every way to take up, His face and neck were covered with pink kisses, and his cheeks were red from the things you said to him and all those kisses you left for him.

"Kiss me, kiss me, kiss me love me, and not that nerd asshole who left you to bore yourself and suffer the teasing of Jay but especially Hoon."

A light laugh came out of your lips and you couldn’t believe that in that state Heeseung had sung the part of an enhypen song to tell you to kiss him and love him "You didn’t seriously sing a part of "Daydream" to have my lips between yours true?" "Sometimes being Idol has its advantages and I could not think of it asking you to kiss me using one of my songs, seriously y/n you’re driving me crazy I need to kiss you right now" Without thinking for a moment you put your lips in her and a light moan came out of your lips, a hand of Heeseung leaned on one side of you and the other went under his sweatshirt to touch your belly and then to tease your breast. Your breasts were perfect for her hands and after a few seconds you took off the sweatshirt and mouth that you longed so much sucked a hood "Hee, tell me it’s not true that Sunghoon can hear us" You moved your hips where there was his length and to make you suffer began to morph softly your breast and pulled slightly her hair "maybe i told you a lie, love to hear you moan especially my name and must understand that you are mine" His bites became more intense and this asshole nerd with deer eyes made you come in your underwear and a slight stain formed in the pants of his suit.

"I hate you," Lee Heeseung

"I love you, y/n"

[fantaatix]

"i have no home now"

i remember a while back when this episode was still being highly anticipated people were debating whether or not stolas would be stripped of his title and powers, maybe even hired by blitz, and why that might be a bad thing

i'll just rip this straight from the post i found in my likes:

"Saying that Stolas needs to abdicate so their relationship can be healthy implies that a commoner really CAN'T be with royalty"

the thing is that i don't think that's necessarily what the show is trying to imply. i'll give them some credit, they posted this in august, i forget when exactly apology tour came out but i think there was a general acceptance that they'd be back together by the end of the season

i don't think that's the case either and here's why;

i think one of the overarching themes of this season is how blitz simultaneously ruins and saves people--whether or not these are his intentions varies from person to person

for example, those he believes he's ruined are his sister, fizz, his mom, and verosika

verosika is an outlier because of the fact that a) the three prior were close enough to be considered family, b) the three prior can all be pinned down to the same event, and c) i feel like he definitely meant to at least piss her off, as a means to push her away

you don't "steal their car, run three rings to wrath and max my credit on shitty horse-riding lessons" because you think it'll brighten someone's day

those he's ruined mostly want nothing to do with him, or keep themselves at a distance; barbie wants nothing to do with him, verosika hates his guts (used to, rather), and while they definitely care about each still, his friendship with fizz is not what it used to be

but now, with IMP, he seems to be on a trend of making a life for himself and giving others a new chance

these images are always paired together as like, "before and after" and i'm sure it's been mentioned dozens of times, but again--there is an outlier, and i think in this case it's moxxie

with millie and loona blitz identifies their struggles himself

with loona, he sees how rough she acts on the outside but sees the soft interior and recognises himself--he wants to give her a real chance at a life, free of judgement

with millie, it's essentially the same deal, except millie straight up tells him about her struggle to make a living and he offers her a job

but with moxxie, there is no "identification", at least not to the specifics. he's in jail, moxxie's in jail, things suck regardless. if anything, maybe blitz figured that being incarcerated was "the struggle", which is probably fair; i don't think you're gonna get "my dad is a sociopath, my mom left/died and my boyfriend left me for dead" first try

moxxie was not special to him in this moment; blitz didn't recognise some divine struggle or empathic connection, they've known each other for 30 seconds and know literally nothing about each other. blitz is looking to break out and see his daughter, that is his goal here. the question was not, "what is this guy's struggle?" the question was "can this guy work a gun?" and the answer may or may not have been yes

and you can tell, like...just by the way blitz looks at him after. it is so possible that he just planned to ditch him after they both got out but ended up not doing so for whatever reason. like, "oh wow, that definitely meant more to him than it meant to me"

that seems to be the case with all of the people he's helped in one way or another; he can't even see that he helps. it's confirmation bias, all he sees is the bad. he needs people to reel him back into reality, people like millie or fizz or maybe possibly stolas later on cough cough

but now back to the point i'm trying to make (and what brought this post to life);

first off, the face blitz makes once he is confronted with the idea that people would actually miss him if he was gone:

and secondly, these two lines:

blitz: you need a ride home

stolas: i...have no home now. everything i have is gone.

this is stolas at his most vulnerable. he has no powers, no home, his daughter is in custody of his Bitch Wife, and he has no lover.

you could argue a few of those things in western energy but in this moment he has absolutely nothing to fall back on, he is alone.

and then blitz invites him to stay with him because that's what he does, he helps people at their most vulnerable moments. he gives them a home.

that is the point here--this isn't about their relationship right now, this about blitz having an irresistible urge to protect people he cares about and acting on it, because like it or not that's his job for the time being. he's not a bodyguard but he'll be playing that role until he dies or stolas gets his powers back.

he can finally actually protect stolas now, maybe even feel fulfillment in doing so, not having to fall back on things like "i didn't think you could get hurt" and seemingly forgetting to mention the fact that "oh yeah someone's plotting to kill you you should maybe look into that"

this is where they learn trust in each other. trust and devotion.

[jeon-ify]

on live - nakamoto yuta

pairing: yuta (nct) x female reader *

a/n: hello!! this is my first nct smut!! ofc its gonna be of my bias????? yuta is rlly hot in this one and hes super super dom and mean but recently ive been into cnc (its a trauma response or a coping mechanism mannn idk) and i had a dream about yuta last night so i think this would be THE ONE! this might be my most toe curling and nastiest and most graphic smut i’ve ever written and tbh i love it 😁

in which yuta fucks you and makes you touch yourself on camera for him to watch while he’s on tour.

warnings: swearing, dom!yuta x sub!reader, unprotected sex (yeee a big no no) mentions of tossing out birth control (ib @justaaveragereader ), yuta calls reader a bitch, slut, whore, cnc!play, sextape in the making, pussy slapping, titty slapping and sucking, face slapping, spit play, breeding kink, female anatomy, she/her reader, some?jaehyun? sex on live, if i missed anything lmkk

genre: smut, dark romance

mdni. 18+

enjoy nasties

“wait, why are you buying lingerie? isn’t yuta leaving in like 3 days?” your friend asks you as you both decided to shop around for a set of lingerie to prepare for a film that your boyfriend was oh so excited to make.

as you both walked through the last couple of aisles, you find a gorgeous black and pink set. you already knew yuta would go insane over it, already imagining the different positions and scenarios he’d play out for you.

lately, yuta’s been into cnc play. something that he was so unsure and insecure about; but when the topic came up, he brought it up to you. you were always open to trying new things with yuta, as long as you both knew where you stood, and that there was a line.

“girl come look, oh my god…” you hold up the piece for you friend to see, watching the way her eyes shift to the corset area.

“good luck walking normally for the next week. he’s gonna fuck your brains out!” she says, almost too loud for the crowd.

you pick out your size and check out to head home. you throw your bags in the car, finally getting a chance to text your man.

my yuta 🤍: hey baby, i’m on my way home. i’m gonna stop at target really fast

my yuta 🤍: are you home?

y/n: hi baby!!!!!!!!! i’m not home yet

y/n: i’m almost there tho

my yuta 🤍: okay gimme like 20 minutes bb

y/n: okay :3

you pull into your driveway, grabbing your things and rushing inside to hurry into your new set. you quickly showered and did your hair, spraying it to hold the wet hair look. you rubbed on body oil followed by a body shimmer, yuta’s favorite thing you do. you sprayed perfume on your ankles, wrists and neck, wherever yuta would be closest to you.

you also put on a touch of makeup, as yuta loved when you wore makeup, just so he can watch it run down your face when he fucks your throat.

after 20 minutes of getting yourself ready for your man, you unlock the front door, running up the stairs for yuta to see you waiting on your knees in the middle of the bed. you calmed your breathing, nervousness clouding your entire body when you hear the front door slowly open.

the front door was never unlocked unless something was going on— and this had yuta’s blood rushing, knowing you were home with the door open already for him.

“baby? i’m home, why’s the door unlocked?” he yells for you, getting no answer— expecting him to walk upstairs looking for you. you hear him putting some bags down, listening to the jingling of keys and shoes being thrown around.

“my love, i’m not playing this game.” he sighs. you hear him finally walking up the stairs, blood rushing to your ovaries and making your head spin in excitement. he opens your bedroom door, taking in the view before him. you’re on your knees in the middle of the silk covered king bed, with a pink maid lingerie set on, your wet hair almost coming down to your breasts, shifting with every deep breath you take.

you hurriedly finish setting up the camera on the chair across from bed, making sure your hair and outfit looks perfect— if you’re posting this on twitter, it has to be astounding.

you rush to get back into position, hearing yuta’s footsteps approaching. he nears the room, leaving the door completely open. his gaze darkens, curiosity at the scene before him is making his cock hard. he can only wonder what’ll happen next.

“fuckin’ hell. this what you were doing? look at you, pretty girl. is this new?” he walks up to you, reaching for the straps on your fabric, admiring the way your clean skin is perfectly suited by the set you’ve had on.

“all for you, baby. wanted it to be a surprise when you got home. i remember you mentioned you wanted to try cnc, so i got excited.” you breathily laugh. yuta’s fingers run up your neck and down to the valley of your breasts.

“yeah? good memory, baby. what do you say i rip this off you and pound your pretty cunt, hm?” his long hair bounces off his shoulders when he stands up and undresses himself. slides off his white top, his black trousers following suite.

he doesn’t notice the camera at first, but when he catches you looking at the phone on the chair every 20 seconds to make sure it hasn’t fell, his cock (impossibly) gets harder and harder.

“yuta, aren’t you tired from work?” you pretend to push him away from you, but yuta doesn’t budge. he leans over your smaller figure, planting a kiss on your forehead.

the smell of his car is what’s following his body, the new car scent making your head spin. the cologne he wears makes compliment to his aesthetic, edgy and mysterious— with notes of tobacco and ocean breeze. you catch a tiny bit of vanilla as he moves away from you. the mix of fragrances makes your mind fuzzy.

“never too tired to fuck you,” he continues demandingly, cupping your jaw to get a better view of your nervous look. his shoulders are tense and you notice the sweat beginning to form around his chest. “no, yuta. i don’t want to,”

“don’t fight me baby. you’re only making this worse for yourself,” his large hands press your back down onto the mattress, spreading your thighs to kiss around your heat. his teeth magically unbutton the body suit you struggled to clasp together. amazed, you moan out when you feel his teeth graze your cunt through your thin lace panties. he pushes your thighs apart as he kisses and licks you through the thin material.

letting go of your legs, he rips your panties off and licks a long stripe from the top to the bottom of your clit. he sucks at the sensitive area, whimpering and gasping at the taste of you.

your pussy clenches and convulses around his tongue while your thighs attempt to shut around his long haired head. his brown hair is damp with sweat, using his free hand to brush his hair back. he bites at your clit, making your legs twitch. “yuta, stop— please,” you whimper with watery eyes while your orgasm threatens to approach.

he only groans in response, sucking harder and flicking his tongue faster up and down your entire cunt. your orgasm approaches; you release all over the area where a beard would sit.

his stronger hands make impact with your pussy, your body jolting in response. “stop fucking moving. i’m gonna use you how i see fit, am i clear, y/n?”

“but i-“

“but i don’t care. don’t make me tie you down.”

his dark eyes lock into yours, making your heart jump in fear and excitement for what’s about to come. your legs force themselves open while yuta strokes himself slightly and lines his cock up with your soaked, sore cunt. in one thrust, he’s all the way in, giving yourself no time to adjust. he places his hand on your mouth to block out all sound from you. “yeah, keep that fuckin’ mouth shut. only thing you’re good for is this pussy.”

he lands another sharp slap on your cunt, making you cry out. your back arches upward and you could’ve swore you just saw your brain from how hard your eyes rolled back. “gonna toss out your birth control and fill you up every. fucking. day.” with every word, he pulls out completely, then thrusts harder back into you. your body shivers and your toes curl at the contact. with your back arched up, he takes the opportunity to remove his hand from your mouth and undo your entire set, stripping you completely naked.

after he’s satisfied with the scene before him, he slaps your right tit, then your left, then the right. the muscle turns red and you wince out in pain. he leans down to suck and lick at the area, earning a gasp from you.

“don’t cum in me, please!” you beg. you absolutely need him to breed you— it’s a staple in your’s and yuta’s sex life. it wasn’t sex if he didn’t full you up by the end of it.

“shut the fuck up. the last time i checked, sluts like you don’t care about getting pregnant, hm? they just sleep around and wait for someone to empty their cum into their loose pussies, yeah? that what you are?”

“n-no.” your eyebrows furrow in anger at the words he throws at you. the expression on your face doesn’t match the expression your pussy displays. you’re throbbing and swallowing him in, unknowingly cumming around him for the -nteenth time.

“yeah, you are. say it with me.” his tone softens as he talks you through the most vulgar words, waiting for you to say the words.

“i’ll call someone if you don’t let me go.”

“who are you gonna call, darling? the cops? i’ll make them watch.” he slaps the left side of your face, leaving a red handprint on your glossy skin.

“open your legs. don’t make me repeat myself,” you force your shaky legs open while yuta continues his assault on your sore pussy. the lewd moans he lets out makes your head fuzzy. “so fucking tight. even after i fucked you for hours,”

his thrusts slow, then they continue at a rough and fast pace. his fingers are hooked into the right side of your mouth like a dental clamp. your teeth are covered in your own arousal.

he repositions the both of you to where you’re both facing the camera. he cups your jaw, making you watch him fuck you through the camera. you connected your phone to the tv, so you’re both seen on the screen.

“say hi to your fans, bitch. we’re on live.”

somehow, yuta managed to switch to a livestream, the comments being flooded with a sweaty face emoji and thirsty comments. he pounds into you while you’re both whining and whimpering, holding your hair back to push you deeper onto his length.

“n-no, yuta, let me go!”

you’re cut off by a sharp slap on your ass. “one more chance. say hi.”

“h- fuck, i can’t!”

you watch the views go up dramatically, while yuta smiles manically.

12.7M VIEWS

3.7M COMMENTS

1.27M GIFTS

cznniehoe: man im tryna get my coochie stretched too

johnnysuh: no sharing?

jaehyun: hot

marklee: dude this is so hot

taeil: bro what let me get some

taeyong: BOW BOW BOW BOW BOW THATS THAT BOOTY MEAT

the views only increase, making your heart clench at nervousness.

“say hi to jaehyun for me.”

“i can’t—“ another slap to your right ass cheek, already forming a bruise. he pulls you off of him, watching yours and his cum drip down his cock and your thighs. “h-hi jaehyun,”

jaehyun: hello pretty girl

“there you go. wasn’t so hard was it?” yuta leans over to grab the camera and angle it at your face. it’s at selfie level as you stare at your own arousal on your face and the mascara on your cheeks. your lips are puffy and red with strands of hair on your face.

you look like yuta’s bitch.

[unsolved-duvall]

𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐆𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐀 𝐁𝐚𝐝 𝐍𝐚𝐦𝐞 (𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐓𝐰𝐨) - 𝐞.𝐦. (𝟏𝟖+)

part one | part two

older rockstar!eddie x reader

summary eddie munson was an asshole, you knew that now. and the truth was you hated him, so much so that you couldn't stop thinking about him.

eddie munson hated himself, and he couldn't stop thinking about you. (16.3k)

warnings 18+ minors dni, age gap (reader is 22, eddie is 40), angst, asshole eddie, references to abuse, drinking (reader gets drunk), reader hurts herself (not intentionally!), very brief mention of blood, smut, making out, oral sex, penetrative sex, fingering, an overuse of nicknames. if i have missed anything please politely let me know <3

Seven Months Later. 

There’s this theory called the Baader-Meinhof phenomenon. It’s the scientific explanation for why you start to notice something, or someone more when your awareness of them increases. 

It’s an illusion. Your brain creates a cognitive bias. The truth is that thing was there all along. You just never cared enough to notice it before. 

Like Eddie fucking Munson. 

.

.

.

The fall air was heavy with a bitter chill as it slinked in through your half-open window. You were barely conscious, your body still heavy with sleep, but you felt the cold wind embrace you in an unwelcome hug and you pulled your thick comforter over your head in a bid to escape it. 

You weren’t sure what time it was, your mind hazy as memories of last night came flooding back to you. You attempted to push them to the back of your mind, you didn’t need the self-loathing to begin already, you could get to that after you had managed to at least eat breakfast. 

Your arms felt heavy as you lifted them, stretching them above you. Your movements caused your comforter to fall around you, your eyes squinted to adjust to the harsh light that bled through the curtains. They were second-hand and made from really sheer material, they almost made no difference. But you kept them up anyway; you were a young woman living in a city by yourself, so you couldn’t afford to lose the small amount of privacy they granted you. 

Dragging your limp body out of bed (fuck you, college) you made your way over to your closet, grabbing the first crumpled-up clothes you saw and throwing them on, not bothering to even look at what you were now wearing.

And no, you didn’t shower, and yes you knew you should have. But quite frankly, you barely had the energy to get out of bed and go to class; asking you to shower and wash your hair was asking far too much from you. 

You had two exams today and a shift at the diner afterwards. None of which you were particularly looking forward to, but there wasn’t a lot you could do about that now except grin and bear it. 

Which is what you did. It was what you always did. 

As you stepped out of your apartment complex you felt the frost-bitten wind caress your face. You swore under your breath, pulling your coat tighter around you in a feeble attempt to warm yourself up. 

Looking up your eyes landed on the obnoxiously large billboard that sat opposite your building. And on it, of course, was none other than Corroded Coffin, with Eddie sitting front and centre. Promotion for their upcoming tour. 

You stared at it for far too long to be considered a passing glance. And just before you turned on your heel to walk to class you pulled a cold hand out of your pockets and pointedly gave it the middle finger. 

Fuck you, universe. 

.

.

.

“I’ll tell you what you can do Marianne, you can shove your ideas and fuck-” 

“Okay, you’re done” John slammed his hands down on the table in front of him, pushing his chair back as he got up and all but manhandled Eddie, pulling him out before he could add more fuel to the fire, “Get out, come on. Jesus fucking Christ-” 

It was early. The sun could have only just risen when he woke up and he could hear the fucking birds chirping kind of early. 

It was 9 AM. 

He could easily have stopped John from dragging him out of the meeting room like a petulant child, but that would take energy he simply didn’t have. And the energy he did have he was more than happy to use on shouting at people who, in his humble opinion, were being pretty fucking stupid for it being the crack of dawn. 

9 AM. 

So instead he raised his calloused hands in mock defeat as he let John lead him down the wide corridor, a warning hand on his shoulder, and into another room. The room was identical to the one he had just been in; but there was no one in there, which made it much preferable to him. 

The harsh morning light beamed in through the floor-to-ceiling windows lining the exterior wall. The wall adjoining the room to the corridor was also made entirely of glass. Eddie leant his body weight against it, running his hands over his face as John shut the door behind them. Eddie’s eyes flicked to him briefly and he saw his body tense. He knew that he’d pissed him off. But he didn’t care, these moments were second nature to the both of them by now.

None of them dared speak first. Both of them quietly assessed the other, figuring out how explosive this was about to get. 

Very. If the past was any indication. 

Eddie being, well - Eddie, pulled out a cigarette and placed it between his lips, his hands fumbling around his many pockets trying to remember where he had last put his lighter. 

“You can’t smoke in here.” 

John’s curt voice cut through the thick tension clouding the room. Eddie’s eyes snapped to Johns, fucking insufferable bastard, and his hands halted their searching of his pockets. 

“If I don’t smoke I’ll turn into an asshole” Eddie bit out the words, a sarcastic smile painting his face. 

“Ah, so no different than usual then? Put the cigarette down and stop being a dick,” John walked over to the meeting table and pulled out a flimsy chair, sitting down with an exaggerated sigh, “I’m tired of playing your fucking father.” 

“You’re barely five years older than me.” Eddie’s voice was harsh as he snapped back at John, but his face was heavy with some emotion that even John couldn’t place. He knew bringing up Eddie’s father was a bad idea. He only pulled out that card when he was desperate. 

“Exactly. I have two kids at home. You’re old enough to be their father, so don’t make me speak to you the way I speak to them. Shit, they’re better behaved than you are.” 

Anyone who knew John knew that he really did care for Eddie. He treated him like a brother, but Eddie didn’t yet return the same sentiment. John figured he probably never would, and he was okay with that. 

He knew Eddie’s history. All of it. He understood why Eddie was the way he was. He just wished he could help him. He also knew that if he told Eddie this, he would most likely leave with a black eye if he dared show any ounce of pity for him. 

Eddie liked to be treated a certain way. Harsh words shared between people on the most basic level. It made him feel safe. If he never connected with anyone he couldn’t hurt them. 

Or be hurt when they left him.

So John never mentioned any of what he knew. But Eddie knew that he was aware of his past, and he hadn’t abandoned him yet, so that was good enough for him. 

“You keep pulling shit like this and the label will drop you. It’s as simple as that.” 

Eddie scoffed, fiddling with the still unlit cigarette between his fingers. “I’d like to see them try.” 

“Okay, listen to me” John leaned forward, his elbows resting on his knees, feet planted as if he was ready for a fight any minute. “You leave to go on tour in two hours—your first show is tomorrow. Figure your shit out. Drop the asshole facade you’re so desperately trying to hide behind,” 

Eddie didn’t say anything, he feared if he did he would only regret it. He simply stayed leaning against the wall, not looking away from John once. His stare was cold, calculated. 

“You’re not better than anyone in that room. No matter what the girls you’re fucking every night might be saying to you.” 

Eddie held his stare, a smirk pulling at his mouth. 

“They don’t usually say a lot actually. It’s hard when they're being fucked dumb, poor things can barely string a sentence together when we’re done” 

Eddie was looking for a reaction. He wanted a fight, needed a fight. 

John bit his tongue, biting back the words he knew Eddie was waiting to hear. He wanted Eddie to tell him he was an ass. That he was pathetic. That he deserved everything that had happened to him. 

He wouldn’t give him that satisfaction. 

“What? Do you not get that sort of reaction from your wife after you’ve fucked her? That’s poor show John, I can teach you a few things if you need me to?” Eddie’s venomous tone hit exactly where he intended it to, he could tell by the way John clenched his jaw, “Or I could just fuck her for you.” 

“What the fuck’s happened to you, Eddie?” His voice was suddenly soft, concerned. Eddie hated it. “Is this all about that girl, because-” 

“Fuck off,” Eddie said with a deafening calm, “I’m going for a smoke.”

And with that Eddie turned and left the room, his heavy footsteps echoing throughout the empty corridor. 

“You better not miss the flight later! You can’t fuck up everyone else’s life like you’re doing to your own!” John sighed as the words landed on deaf ears, Eddie already too far gone to pay any attention to him. 

It was going to be a long long tour. 

.

.

.

Carpe Diem. That was a thing people said right? Well, you were here to tell them that was bullshit. 

Seize the day. Whatever that meant - it was certainly not meant for broke college students who had recently been fucked over by a world-famous rockstar, had almost certainly just failed their final exams and now had to endure a seven-hour shift at a diner. 

No, that saying was intended for people who already had their life together. Middle-aged moms living in the suburbs with their two children and a perfect husband. Who woke up each morning and decided between going to a new yoga class or a coffee morning with their book club girlfriends. 

Those were the type of people Carpe Diem was meant for. 

Not you. 

You had managed to get caught in the rain on your way to your shift. The cold rain soaking through your clothes and onto your skin enhanced every emotion you were already feeling. The cold wind was biting as you swerved through the bustling crowd on the sidewalk. It was nearing 10 PM, and you wouldn’t be home until the early hours of the morning; you rarely picked up night shifts. You had been working there for almost three years and you could count on one hand the number of times you had worked a night shift. But right now you needed the money, so when the shift was offered to you, who were you to turn it down? 

Once you had finally arrived you had almost immediately snapped at your manager when you walked through the heavy doors of the diner; she had made some innocent joke about how you would have been drier if you had swum here. 

She quickly realised you weren’t in the mood for jokes and told you she had a change of clothes in the back you could borrow. You nodded your head and forced an appreciative smile onto your face. You liked your manager, she was maybe a decade older than you, give or take, and she always made sure the chefs cooked you some food during a long shift. 

You ignored everyone else, one chef and two other waitresses who would be leaving soon, as you made your way to the staff room at the back of the diner, heading straight to your manager's locker and grabbing the clothes she had folded and placed on the top shelf. 

You threw on the jeans but hesitated as you unfolded the all too familiar shirt. You recognised the design instantly and you felt a lump form in your throat. You had the exact same shirt at home, although yours was lying abandoned in the back of your closet, and you had been content never to see, let alone wear it, again.

The worn-out corroded coffin logo stared back at you. 

Well fuck. 

It had taken you all of two seconds to decide that you would rather spend your night in a half-soaked t-shirt instead. When your manager had seen you walk back out, apron tied around your waist and a damp t-shirt clinging to you, she hadn’t questioned it. Instead, she pointed to your area for the night and told you it shouldn’t be too busy, she smiled a genuine smile and rubbed your back, like a caring mom, before leaving you to it. You could tell by the look of concern she tried to hide that she knew something was wrong. You seemed tense, which you never were. 

You hadn’t told anyone what had happened. You weren’t the first girl to be fucked over by Eddie and you certainly wouldn’t be the last. You felt ridiculous for being so hung up on what had happened. 

But there was just something about him. And you hated him for it. 

You saw pieces of him everywhere you went. Heard his voice in every store or cafe you went into, and every time it cut into you a little bit deeper than the last. He had left his mark on you and you had no idea how to get rid of it. The truth was you weren’t sure you wanted to. He made you feel safe. Which was insane given his reputation, but every time he looked at you it felt like a summer breeze wrapped itself around you. He smiled at you and it felt like running into the ocean for the first time on holiday. Like nothing could hurt you as long as he was there. 

But then he had been the one to hurt you, so fuck him, right? 

Yeah. Fuck him. You had tables to serve, people to pretend to like, and a myriad of awful attempts at flirting to politely ignore for the next… seven hours. 

It was going to be a long long night. 

.

.

.

The truth was Eddie had tried relentlessly to avoid coming back here. To this city. 

To you. 

But it hadn’t worked. His team had asked him multiple times why exactly he was so adamant about avoiding this place, but hell would have to open up and drag him down there before he would tell anyone it was because of you. 

You had fucked him up more than anyone ever had. And he had spent one night with you. 

He barely knew anything about you. He knew your name, and he knew how old you were. He also knew what you sounded like when you came. 

He hadn’t told anyone about you. John knew, of course. But every time he would try to mention ‘that girl’ to Eddie he would shoot him a look that said “I am not above punching you in the face” and that was that. 

So now here he was. In the one city on earth, he would have happily avoided for the rest of his godforsaken life- 

“Do you want to go straight to the hotel? I already made sure the security stopped people hanging around outside, so you don’t have to worry about that.” John’s voice sounded from beside Eddie, although he was barely listening. 

The moment the plane landed he felt his heart race. Which was stupid, because as far as he knew you didn’t actually live here. You might have been here on holiday or just came for the concert. 

Fuck he hopes you didn’t come just for him. 

“You know tour used to be fun, we used to do shit. Get fucked up.” Eddie didn’t turn to look at John whilst he spoke, choosing instead to smoke a cigarette out of the barely open window. The torrent of rain outside still managed to slip in through the open space, leaving raindrops to settle on Eddie’s hair that fell around his shoulders. 

Eddie had a habit of avoiding other people’s questions, even simple ones. John had picked up on that fact rather fast. It was best to let Eddie lead the conversation, so that’s what he did. 

“I remember,” John replied, staring straight ahead from the back seat, watching the traffic they were attempting to drive through, “That was ten years ago, things change, you know that.” 

Eddie did know that. It didn’t mean he had to like it. 

When Eddie didn’t bother to respond John cautiously said “they all have families now, Eddie. A wife and kids. Can you blame them for not wanting to get high every night and fuck up a hotel room?” 

Eddie clenched his jaw, flicking the burnt-out cigarette out of the window and onto the rain-soaked road, “You have a wife and kids, why are you here with me? Not with them, with your perfect little picket-fence family, huh?” 

“Because I’m working. I don’t spend time with you out of the goodness of my heart, you know. You pay me to be here, to make sure some insane fan doesn’t stalk you or some shit.” John tried to sound lighthearted, adding some humour to his all-too-true words. But it didn’t help. 

Eddie once again went quiet, whispering something under his breath about it all being “fucking bullshit” but that was it. He hadn’t apologised to John about that morning, the comment about his wife. He couldn’t bring himself to admit he was sorry. And he knew that made him the asshole everyone said he was, but he had been wearing that badge of honour for a long time, he’d be damned if he let it bother him now. Maybe he just was an asshole. 

“Do I assume you do just want to go straight to the hotel?” John asked again, he knew not to push Eddie but he really needed to let the poor driver know where he was taking them. Although with the traffic at a standstill, they wouldn’t be going anywhere anytime soon. 

“No” Eddie’s blunt response would have been enough to have most people stop talking to him. 

“Well, where do you wanna go then? I’m not driving around with you all fuckin’ night I’ll tell you that for nothing.” Eddie finally turned in his seat to look at John, although his gaze seemed to be focused on the window behind him instead, “It’s gone midnight, you may be a rockstar but I’m old. I need to sleep.” 

“Here. I’m hungry.” 

John turned, confusion evident as he furrowed his eyebrows and breathed out a barely audible “what?”. The car had stopped outside a diner, open twenty-four hours, based on the worn-out sign hanging in the window. There was no one inside, except a waitress. This was probably the only place in the city Eddie could go to without being spotted and harassed. 

“Are you serious? They have room service at the hotel and-” 

“I fucking said I wanna eat here, is that so hard to understand?” Eddie snapped, his hands fiddling with the bracelets and pieces of fabric he had tied around his left wrist. “I- can we just get out here, I’m fuckin’ starving” 

“Well if you would have eaten on the plane instead of insulting the food-” 

“That shit looked like I could have made it. Would you eat my cooking, John?” 

“You couldn’t pay me enough.” 

“Exactly.” Eddie took off his seatbelt and waved his hands toward the door on John’s side “let’s go.”

John reluctantly moved to open the door, stepping out into the cold rain. Eddie followed suit, taking in his surroundings as he waited for John to tell the driver something, probably asking him to come back in an hour. 

The bell hanging over the door rang out into the quietness of the diner as they both walked in, glad to be out of the rain for the brief time they were in it. It was quiet, save for the soft hum of a radio playing behind the counter. A woman stood behind it, her back turned and windswept hair flowing over her shoulders, an apron tied around her waist. Eddie could see that her shirt was damp and he couldn’t help the pang of guilt that rang through him as he realised she must have gotten caught in the downpour on her way here. Eddie had never had to work a service job before, but he knew damn well if he did and his clothes were soaked through before he had even started, he would have gone home. No questions asked. 

He made a mental note to try and be nice to her. He never did that, but he promised himself he would at least try. 

John hesitated a minute before walking over to an empty booth and sitting himself down, his eyes trained on the girl behind the counter. 

Eddie sat opposite him, stretching his legs out under the table and picking up the menu that was left on the table. He decided on the first thing he saw and threw the menu back down, sliding it over to John, but he still wasn’t looking anywhere except at the waitress behind the counter. 

“What’s the matter with you?” Eddie asked quizzically. John’s whole body language had changed the minute they had walked in. Sure, it wasn’t the most high-end place they had ever eaten, but Eddie had never taken him for a snob. 

“Okay, you’ve got about ten seconds to decide if you want to just get up and leave.” 

“What-” 

“Too late,” John said suddenly, his eyes darting back to Eddie “don’t be an asshole.” 

Eddie’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion, what the fuck was he talking about? He looked around to see that the waitress had turned, now facing both of them.

And she was looking straight at Eddie. 

You were looking straight at Eddie.

.

.

.

There are certain feelings that you’ve never been able to explain to people. You’ve never been particularly good at expressing how you feel because you’ve rarely been able to understand or process your own emotions. 

But as you stood in the diner, at 12:46 AM, and saw Eddie sitting across from you. You knew exactly how you felt. 

You felt angry. 

You felt heartbroken. 

You felt confused. 

You felt the happiest you had felt in seven months.

And then you felt the world fall out from underneath your feet. 

You felt like Eddie was about to rip your heart out all over again. 

You hadn’t moved. Shit. What the fuck were you meant to do? Eddie hadn’t moved either. But John had, and he was walking right towards you. 

“Hey,” he was tense, you could tell. “Listen, I don’t know what thoughts are running through your head right now. But, I can imagine at least one of them is that you’d like to punch him square in his face, right?” John tilted his head to the side, trying to gauge your reaction. You still hadn’t moved. You weren’t totally sure you were breathing. 

“I’m gonna trust that you won’t do that, if I’ve been able to hold off from smacking him every day for the past seven months I’m sure you can too.” 

John laughed awkwardly and cleared his throat. Something told you he wasn’t joking. 

“Now, there’s a bar over there.” He pointed past you, out of the window, towards the dive bar sitting directly across from the diner “And even though I can’t drink whilst I’m working. I am going to go there anyway. I’ll be gone twenty minutes. Talk to him. Ignore him. Throw him out of here, for all I care. Do whatever you’ve gotta do.” 

And with that John turned and walked out of the diner. The sounds of the city filled the diner as the door swung open and shut again. And then it was just you. And him. 

And those two old guys sat at a table in the corner. Ignore them. 

You shifted your weight on your feet, you wanted to talk to him. Needed to talk to him. 

Your feet had carried you over to his booth before you had realised what you were doing. You couldn’t read the expression on his face, and for a second you thought he wasn’t going to say anything, but then- 

“John ran out of here as quick as he fucking could, didn’t he?” Eddie… laughed? Genuinely laughed as he said it, a honey-thick smile covering his face. 

“Yeah, he basically floored it to the bar over there” you pointed awkwardly, even Eddie was sitting with his back to the window, and couldn’t see. He smiled again anyway, dropping his gaze from you to stare at his hands that were resting on the table. 

When you didn’t smile back you saw his whole body tense up. What did he expect from you here? To take him to the back room and fuck him? 

“Can you sit down, and talk for a minute, maybe?” 

“I’m working if you hadn’t already noticed.” You responded, voice slightly harsher than you meant for it to sound. 

“I know- shit, I know. I didn’t mean that you weren't, I just meant,” he was stumbling over every other word, and you know it should have given you some satisfaction to see him like this. To realise that maybe you weren’t the only one who came out of this whole thing scorned. But you felt sorry for him, his eyes were heavy with something sad. His usual cocky facade was nowhere to be seen. 

“I can sit for a while, it’s okay.” You hated how soft your voice went, Eddie heard it too, he bit back a smirk and sat up a bit straighter as you sat down across from him. 

“Your shirt is wet,” Eddie said, making a vague gesture with his hand. It was still wet, you guessed, although it was much drier than it had been. “They really made you work in wet clothes? They had nothing for you to wear. You must be cold, that’s all.” 

“My manager gave me some clothes to wear, yeah. I just kept my top because I didn’t feel like wearing hers.” 

Eddie cocked his head to the side, a silent question as to why. 

Well, fuck it. “She’s a big fan of yours. I didn’t want to walk around in a Corroded Coffin top all night so, here I am.” 

There it was. He had been waiting for it. The moment he couldn’t avoid it any longer. 

“Y/N I’m-” 

You cut him off, you weren’t ready to hear whatever sorry excuse he pulled out of his ass. “Sorry? An asshole? A bastard? Take your pick, seriously.” Eddie watched you, his face blank as he took in every word you said. 

You saw his jaw clench. The same way it had when he had left you alone in that hotel room. 

“You want me to say sorry? For what, exactly?” You physically flinched at his words, the harshness of them. That honey-thick smile was nowhere to be seen, his eyes had gone distant. 

“You want an apology because I treated you the same way I treat every other girl I fuck? Listen, sweetheart, you knew what the deal was from the start, don’t act like some fucking innocent party in all of this.” You felt the breath go from your lungs, he had leaned forward as was speaking to you, leaning on his forearms as he broke your heart again. 

“You’re telling me you didn’t go around telling anyone who would listen that we had fucked?” Eddie spat at you. 

“No. I didn’t.” Your voice was quiet but definite. “I didn’t tell anyone.” 

Eddie paused for a moment, something flashed across his face. Relief? Confusion? Anger? You truly couldn’t tell. You weren’t sure he could either. “Maybe you should have. Gossip tabloids will pay a lot of money for shit like that” he turned his head, looking away from you. You wanted to get up and walk away. Shout at him. Tell him how much he had hurt you. 

“You asked me to sit down so you could insult me, was that it?” you asked him, “well you’ve done that so can I go now?” 

“What did you think I was going to do? Profess my undying love for you? Tell you I tracked you down just so I could tell you how sorry I was?” Eddie shot back, he had built that wall back up around himself the minute you had snapped at him. He couldn’t bring himself back from that ledge, no matter how much he wanted to. And he so desperately wanted to. 

Because whenever his eyes landed on yours felt his heart break, he truly believed you held the whole world in your eyes, a world he longed to be a part of. 

“I thought you could be a decent fucking human being, Eddie.” Hearing you say his name made him feel like he was drowning. Your voice dropped as you decided you needed to get it out of your system.  “I thought you would have some respect for me. Do you know how fucked up I’ve been over this? I fucking cried over you.” 

Eddie didn’t try to interrupt, he didn’t have any reaction to what you had just said. You could almost believe he wasn’t listening to a word of what you were saying. 

He was. 

“I get it, okay. This is what you do. Fine. Good for you, if you’re happy like this then please don’t let me, or anyone else, stop you.” You weren’t sure where your confidence had come from, but you felt like this would be the only time he would be sat in front of you again. “I didn’t want to like you. I thought you would be a complete asshole, and I was fine with that.” 

Your gaze dropped from his face to his hands, where he was pulling at the jewellery he had on his left wrist. His hands gave away everything he wasn’t saying, and you didn’t think he was even aware of how much he was giving away. A couple of seconds later his hands stopped moving, and he moved them off the table, onto his lap. He hadn’t realised you were watching him so closely. He hated that. 

“Eddie, listen to me, I liked you. I felt safe with you” Eddie’s eyes scanned your whole face as you spoke, almost as if he was looking for any proof you were lying. You spoke slowly, determined for him to really hear you, and understand what you were saying. “You’re a good person, Eddie. You are not what everyone says you are. Maybe you try to be that guy, but you’re not. You care about other people, but I don’t think you care about yourself.” 

Eddie’s face had softened, he swallowed and shook his head, barely. But you saw him do it, nevertheless. 

“I don’t know you, I know that. But I think you want to be happy, you want to be a good person. But you can’t let yourself. I’m not saying this because I want you to fall in love with me, or some shit. But I hope one day you will fall in love with someone. And I hope you’ll let yourself love them.” 

All of a sudden it was too quiet. You hadn’t even noticed that the two older gentlemen who had been in the diner had left. A twenty-dollar bill was left on the table. The radio played dimly in the background, the rain clattered against the windows and roof. The muffled sounds of the city nightlife outside. Eddie hadn’t said anything to you. You nodded your head and shuffled out of the booth, prepared to leave him alone until John got back. 

You walked back over to the counter, picking up the money as you went. You weren’t sure how long it had been. You had made yourself a coffee and were about to start tidying up when you heard Eddie move. His heavy footsteps echoed off the floor, his leather jacket rubbing against itself. You looked up, expecting to see him walk out. But he didn’t. 

“I’m– we’re playing a show. Tomorrow. If you want to come, that would– fuck, um.” you had never heard his voice sound like it did right now. Soft, but still him. That confidence was hidden just below the surface. “Please come. If you don’t want to watch the show, then come when it finishes.” 

You were the one not saying anything now. You were so angry with him, he still hadn’t apologised. He had barely said anything to you, apart from the insults he had thrown at you. So why the fuck did you want to go. Why could you not imagine this being the last time you saw him? 

“Come to the door, ask security to get John. He’ll make sure you get in okay, I promise.” 

You didn’t have time to even nod in agreement before Eddie was heading for the door, he opened it and you couldn’t drag your eyes away from him. Even with the promise of seeing him tomorrow, it felt like too much of a risk to not take him in as much as you could whilst he was there. 

“I’m sorry.” 

And then he walked out, letting the door shut behind him. Only this time he had said something to you before he left you. And you knew, no matter how much it would make you hate yourself, that you would see him tomorrow. 

.

.

.

“What the fuck is wrong with you? Genuinely, I’m genuinely asking you, this isn’t a joke anymore.” Eddie knew John would be insufferable on the drive to the hotel, but if he knew he would be like this? Eddie would have walked. 

“I apologised to her. I invited her to the show, whatever she does is her decision.” Eddie bit out, John laughed at his words. The kind of laugh that said are-you-clinically-insane? Eddie couldn’t find it in him to disagree with that. 

“Eddie, I have known you for almost as long as that girl has been alive-” 

“Okay well that’s not what I need to hear right now, John for fuck-” 

“No, listen to me. I have known you since you were barely older than her. And I have never ever seen you be so fucked up over someone else. I have never seen you care about someone else the way you do that girl– and don’t try and bullshit me here. Because you do care about her.” John sounded blunt, harsh. But Eddie knew he only sounded like that when he loved someone and wanted them to be okay. He only pulled out that voice when he needed to slap some sense into Eddie. 

Eddie had never told him, but he did love John like a brother. He might tell him someday, maybe with you next to him. Maybe. 

“For the past seven months, there is not a day gone by where I have looked at you and you weren’t completely zoned out. You were thinking about her, every time. I knew that. So now, here’s your chance. Not everyone gets those, you know that better than anyone.” 

Eddie held back a shaky breath. John saw it, but he knew they needed to have this conversation. 

“You are not your father, Eddie.” John needed him to truly understand that. “You never have been him, and you never will be. You won’t ever hurt that girl, in whatever way you’re afraid you will.” 

Eddie froze, and then– “I don’t want to hurt her. I would never, I promise. But what if–” 

“You are not your father,” John repeated “I know the kind of things he said to you, how he treated you. And how he treated your mother.” 

Eddie nodded his head, tears welling in his eyes as he let John talk. 

“The idea that you are even related to that man is astounding. And, how you got this reputation is beyond me.” John laughed, remembering something “You– you forced me to adopt a kitten you saw outside your trailer when I first met you, told me it needed to live with someone who had a ‘fancy-ass’ house. You gave her to me and threatened to tell my girlfriend if I said no.” Eddie laughed through the tears that were staining his cheeks. 

“Don’t let your father win. He’s not around to control you anymore. If you ask me, you should have gotten on your knees and begged that girl to forgive you; begged her to give you a second chance.” The car stopped and John looked out of the window, the lights from the hotel flickering through the rain. John turned back to Eddie as he took off his seatbelt “Now, I don’t know if she’s going to turn up tomorrow. But if she does? Then she could be the happiest girl in the world if you just let yourself be vulnerable.” 

Eddie nodded again, afraid that if he spoke his voice would break with all the emotions that were running through him. 

“I assume I’m chaperoning this girl during the show tomorrow?” John said as they both climbed out of the car. 

Eddie nodded, and John flung an arm around him as they walked into the hotel. 

“I do not get paid enough for everything I do for you.” 

.

.

.

After Eddie had left the rest of your shift flew by. No one else came in, which was normal for a weeknight. You spent the last couple of hours of your shift trying to distract yourself from the thoughts that were clouding your brain. Once the sun had started to rise and the orange sunlight began to flood through the windows you felt yourself heave a sigh of relief. 

Your manager popped out from the back office every now and then, if she was aware of your run-in with Eddie she didn’t say anything. She never worked the night shift (being the manager had its perks), but the other waitress had called in sick earlier, and there was no one else to cover her. 

She had told you she would drive you home, there was no way she was letting you get a taxi. You didn’t argue with her, thanking her and telling her you’d give her gas money, considering your apartment was in the opposite direction to yours. She was adamant you would do no such thing. 

Just before 5 AM, the morning waitresses came in. You wouldn’t call them friends per se, but they were nice enough. One was in her mid-forties, with mousy brown hair that she always wore in a long ponytail, bouncing with each footstep she took during her shift. The other was around your age, and you were closer to her. You had been for drinks with her a couple of times, she was loud and extroverted so you never had to do much talking, which you were perfectly happy with. 

They made polite conversation as they walked in, asking you how the night had been and if anything eventful had happened. 

“Nope, it was pretty boring, to be honest.” There was no way in hell you were telling them that Eddie Munson had been sitting not even a foot away from where they were standing. 

You politely dismissed yourself and went to find your manager. You ran into each other in the back hallway, she laughed telling you she was just about to come and rescue you. 

The drive home was quiet, casual conversation was shared between the two of you, but nothing more. Soon enough she pulled up outside of your apartment building. You thanked her and went to get out of the car, but before you could she placed a hand on your arm. 

“Y/N if there’s something bothering you, you can talk to me, you know? You’ve been quiet for a few months now. I don’t want to intrude or push any boundaries, but I care about you. And not just because you’re a good waitress.” You both laughed, and you assured her you were okay. Maybe one day you’d tell her what had been going on. But not just yet. 

You went to bed as soon as you stepped foot into your apartment, only making time to pull off your clothes and throw on the oversized t-shirt you slept in. The mattress seemed to swallow you whole as you threw your body down and pulled your comforter over your head. 

.

.

.

You only realised you hadn’t set an alarm when you woke up that evening, with a couple of hours left before you needed to leave. 

To see Eddie. 

Oh fuck. 

You stumbled through your apartment to your bathroom and jumped in the shower. The cold water stole a breath from you and made sure you were awake. It took far too long for the water in your building to warm up, and to be honest, you figured taking a cold shower before you saw Eddie couldn’t be a bad thing. 

Coming out of the bathroom, a fluffy towel wrapped around you, you turned on the lamps you had dotted around your apartment, the daylight quickly fading. 

Your apartment was nice, you were incredibly lucky you had stumbled upon it when you moved here. It was only a studio, but what more did you need when it was just you? You separated your bedroom from the lounge and kitchen with a curtain that hung from the ceiling. It had been there when you moved in and you didn’t question how exactly the previous residents had got it there in the first place. 

The rest of the apartment was undoubtedly old-fashioned. With 60’s and 70’s architecture but you made it your own. You brought all of your furniture from thrift stores, leaning into the 60’s look that you had been lumbered with. A variety of rugs covered the floor, lamps were placed on tables and plants were in every corner. It felt homely, certainly far from perfect but it was your own, and that was all that mattered. 

You spent an hour or so doing your makeup, hair and getting dressed. You had never been the most confident person, but tonight you felt genuinely pretty. But you barely gave yourself time to let yourself feel that before the nerves took over your body. You felt lightheaded, a telltale sign that your anxiety was about to get the better of you. 

So you did what you should never do in those situations. You eyed up the bottle of vodka you had out on your kitchen counter, left over from the other night when your friends had come over. 

You told yourself you’d do one shot. Ease your nerves and loosen you up so you could at least talk to Eddie when you saw him. 

Now, you would like to reiterate that this was the worst decision you could have made. 

After the first shot, you called a taxi. And then you took two more shots before leaving your apartment. 

You were a lightweight. This is important to note because you were already tipsy. 

You arrived at the venue about five minutes before the concert started, meaning it was relatively quiet outside, everyone else was already inside, excitedly waiting for it to start. You remembered what Eddie had said about speaking to security and asking for John. It was cool outside, but not cold. The soft air hits your face and sobers you up slightly, you rested against a wall for a minute, asking yourself what the fuck you were doing. 

Eddie had said sorry only after he had shouted at you. Accused you of telling anyone who would listen that you had fucked him. And maybe you were crazy, maybe you were being stupid. But… you looked at him and you felt like you were wrapped in a warm hug, his eyes were deafening. One look into them and time slowed down, any music stopped playing, and everyone stopped talking, all because you were looking at him. 

You couldn’t ignore that feeling. It was the feeling you read about in fairy tales as a child. So here you were, wearing your heart on your sleeve. Trusting Eddie not to break it. 

You made your way over to one of the entrances and spoke to the man standing there. You asked him to get John. He asked your name, and when you told him a knowing look crossed his face. He smiled and told you to wait there. 

Has Eddie told everyone about you? No, no he wouldn’t do that. He probably told John to let security know you were coming, so they wouldn't turn you away. 

Whilst you waited for John you felt the alcohol really take an effect. Oh no. 

Before you had time to curse yourself for your decisions John rounded the corner, he smiled at you and waved you forward. 

“I really hoped you would turn up. I don’t know why, but I did.” John told you, there was something in his voice you couldn’t place. He sounded happy, amused almost. A complete turnaround from his demeanour when you first met him. 

“Eddie could convince anyone to do anything.” your voice was slightly shaky, trying to act sober will do that to a person. John looked at you as he led you to the balcony you would watch the show from, a knowing look crossing his face. 

If he knew you were drunk, he spared you the embarrassment of pointing it out “He really could.” John pushed back a curtain and signalled for you to walk through. The balcony was big, and there were plenty of people up there. Some were sitting on the sofas that were dotted along the back wall, others were leaning over the railing watching the concert. It had just started, and the noise was deafening as you walked in, the music was almost drowned out by the screams throughout the arena. 

“I’ll come back to get you at the end” you nodded your appreciation and walked over to the railing, a couple of people smiled at you. You assumed they were all family and friends, and suddenly you felt incredibly out of your comfort zone. You focused on the show instead, ignoring the eyes that you could feel staring at the back of your head. You didn’t blame them for being curious as to who you were, you just wished they would stop staring at you. 

Twenty or so minutes later someone who obviously worked the bar brought over a tray of cocktails for everyone. Given your already tipsy state, you were inclined to pass on them, but then a sweet woman brought you one over. She was all wide smiles, sparkly eyes and gentle conversation. And soon enough you were downing another cocktail whilst she told you all about herself. 

She was the wife of the drummer. They were high-school sweethearts and had a kid together. It was nice, she didn’t pressure you to tell her exactly why you were there which you were grateful for. You weren’t sure how to explain you were a one-time hook-up who was now here for… you still didn’t know what you were here for. But you felt yourself relax as you finished the cocktail and you ended up enjoying yourself far more than you had anticipated, a smile was plastered across your face when the concert ended and John came up behind you, a gentle tap on the shoulder to get your attention. 

“Eddie asked me to take you straight out to the car, he’s already there,” John said as he held an arm out around you. You were drunker than you thought. 

“Why are we going to a car? Wait–” You turned around comically fast, John held back a laugh when you held your arm out to steady yourself “did you tell Eddie I was… drunk?” you whispered the last word, for some reason. 

You were so far gone it would have been funny any other time. Right now you wanted the floor to swallow you whole. 

“I popped my head in halfway through and saw you down a cocktail. Considering I could smell vodka on you when you got here I made the safe assumption you wouldn’t be sober.” your face dropped at his words and he noticed, “hey don’t worry about it. Eddie is in no position to judge anyone for this, trust me, sweetheart.” 

You nodded and let him lead you to the car, the cold night air a welcome feeling on your warm skin. John opened the door for you and you looked in to see Eddie with a shit-eating grin on his face. 

“Oh no he’s gonna laugh at me John” you sounded like a child who had been caught eating chocolate when they weren’t supposed to. John couldn’t help but find it endearing. 

“Yeah he might, but it will be out of love” you tilted your head at his words. ‘Out of love’ was a saying, but the idea of Eddie loving you made your heart jump and your brain shut off.

John asked for your address, and when you questioned why exactly he needed to know that, he said Eddie was taking you home. 

.

.

.

“Okay you’re like Bambi on ice here sweetheart, give me your hand” 

You had arrived at your apartment soon enough, the flickering city lights and the motion of the car enough to make your head spin. Eddie noticed and told you to rest your head on his shoulder. You did what he said, practically burying your face in his jacket to stop the dizziness from getting worse. Now you were attempting to make it up to your apartment, which was proving to be a much more difficult task than it should be. You had sobered up compared to earlier, but you were still tipsy and your balance was questionable at the best of times. You were still tipsy enough to be far more relaxed than you were expecting to be around Eddie. 

Eddie held a hand out for you and you wrapped your fingers around his wrist, balancing yourself as you walked down the corridor.  

“I am much more graceful than Bambi ever was,” you told Eddie, trying to search for your keys in your pockets as you stood outside your door. 

“If you say so” Eddie laughed, it was a sweet laugh, one that filled your whole body with warmth and made you feel all gooey inside. Gooey was not a word that existed in your daily vocabulary, but apparently, it was when you were drunk. 

“Please tell me you have your keys–” 

“I have them! These pockets are just– oh! See, I’ve got them!” 

“You sure do” Eddie watched you as he kept a gentle arm around you, he wasn’t touching you, he was just ready for you to go down at any minute. 

You not-so-gracefully managed to get your keys in the door and swing it open, Eddie was hesitant, waiting outside your door as you swept your apartment, turning on the lamps and closing your curtains. “You can come in, you know” 

“I just wanted to make sure you got home safe, that’s all.” 

“I thought you wanted to talk to me?” you asked him, had he changed his mind? You felt tears well at the back of your eyes and you silently cursed yourself. 

“Tomorrow. If you want to. I’ll give you my number, and you can call me when you’re not drunk, okay sweet?” 

“O-okay. '' he watched you search for something for a minute, and then you were signalling for him to come in. He did, shutting the door behind him and leaning against it, not wanting to overstep any boundaries. 

“Here. Write your number down for me,” you told him as you held out the pad and paper. A smile spread across his face and you furrowed your eyebrows in confusion. 

“I could just put my number into your phone, sweetheart. I thought I was meant to be the old one here.” 

“Shut up, it’s cute this way,” you whispered under your breath, but he clung to every word. You were different in your own home, Eddie thought. More relaxed, although that could be the alcohol. But no, the way that you walked around, comfort seeping into you as you relaxed back into your own space. The way you had slipped your shoes off instantly, your socks padding across the floor as you turned on the lights. It suited you, he thought. 

Eddie nodded his head to the table in the corner, asking if he could lean against that to write his number for you, as you had insisted. You mouthed a ‘yeah’ at his request. He seemed to take in everything around him as he walked over to the table, looking at the decor you had lying around. You suddenly felt incredibly vulnerable. 

He was in your home. This man was still arguably a stranger. But that pang of vulnerability was soon replaced with a feeling of contentness. Eddie suited domesticity. He fit right into your space, his style a contrast to your apartment, but it wasn’t unwelcome. 

You pulled your eyes away from Eddie long enough to try and grab yourself a drink of water. But as you leant your hands on the kitchen counter you placed your hand right on a knife you had left out earlier. In your drunken state, you attempted to pick it up and put it away, but you managed to grab the sharp edge. You pulled your hand back quickly, but there was still a cut on your palm, blood pooling around the injury. 

“Oh shit,” you hissed, pain evident in your voice. 

“What’s wrong?” Eddie practically jumped out of the chair he had sat in, dropping the pen he was holding and making his way over to you. 

“I picked up that knife,” you told him. 

“What– why– why did you do that?” Eddie asked you, with genuine confusion in his voice as he gently took your hand into his, looking at the damage you had done. 

“Well I thought it would be fun to– I obviously didn’t do it on purpose!” you said defensively, but you were smiling at him despite the pain. 

“Yeah, okay.” Eddie hadn’t heard any of what you had just said, you could tell by the flatness of his voice, “come on, let’s get you sorted out.” 

You suddenly felt nervous, his hand on your sending heat rising throughout you. “No, it’s okay. You go, I can just stick a bandaid on it. It’s all good.” 

“I won’t be able to sleep tonight knowing I left a lady in distress.” Eddie joked, you couldn’t help the blush that flooded your cheeks at his words, “besides your hand could still fall off.” Eddie said in a dead-serious tone. One that made you burst out laughing. 

“I think it’ll be okay,” you said through breathy laughter. 

“Let me take care of you and we’ll know for certain,” Eddie said. You nodded and he asked you where your bathroom was. You stared at him for a second and then pointed to the only door in the apartment, besides the front one. Okay, so maybe he wasn’t the smartest cookie in the jar. But that was okay. 

Eddie led you to the bathroom and you sat down on the counter next to the sink, holding your hand out in front of you. 

“Do you have a first-aid kit?” Eddie asked you gently. 

“In the cupboard below the sink,” you told him, moving your legs to the side so he could get to it. 

Eddie bent down and grabbed it off the shelf. He stood back up and placed it next to you, opening it and grabbing out what he needed. You moved your legs so Eddie could stand between them. He picked up your hand and looked at it once more before he gently cleaned it. You watched his hands the whole time, the way he was so soft with you, whispering out little apologies when you whispered out a complaint once that it hurt. 

Eddie wrapped a dressing around your hand, you asked if it was too much but he said the cut was deeper than you realised. So you simply nodded and watched his hands wrap around yours. Once he had secured the dressing he looked up at you, breathing a “done” and holding your hand in his.

You meant to say thank you, but that wasn’t what came out “You’re really pretty.” 

Eddie smirked and dropped his head, you could tell he was trying not to laugh at your brutal honesty. “So are you angel.” 

A sickly-sweet smile crossed both of your faces. You wanted to kiss him. 

You should kiss him. 

You moved your head ever so slightly, but Eddie caught on to what you were doing and brought his spare hand up to rest on your cheek, a sweet movement but one that was intended to stop you from doing what you were about to. 

“You’re drunk.” 

“I’m tipsy,” you insisted. 

“I’m not gonna kiss you. Not tonight, sweetheart.” You pouted at his words. A childish move and quite frankly it confirmed to him that you were far from sober. 

“When I kiss you again, I want you to remember it.” you couldn’t pull your eyes away from his. His hand on your face, and his voice and his eyes and it was all-consuming. 

“Come on, get into bed,” you smirked and he swore every time you smiled at him you took a little piece of his heart with you. “By yourself, smartass. Get into bed by yourself.” 

“My makeup,” you told him. It was barely a full sentence but it was the best you could do when he was standing so close to you. 

“Yeah, I like it.” He said. He rubbed his thumb under your eye and you held back a laugh. 

“No– I can’t go to sleep in my makeup.” you clarified. He sighed out an ‘oh’ and then dipped back down to open the cupboard below the sink. You weren’t sure what he was doing, but then he came back up with makeup remover and a washcloth. A smile that tugged on his star-filled eyes flooded his face. 

Your heart broke for him all over again but for a different reason this time.  

“Close your eyes, angel. Don’t wanna blind you.” 

You did as he said, slowly closing your eyes after you saw him tip some of the water onto the cloth. He was incredibly gentle with you, barely applying enough pressure to remove the makeup, but you didn’t tell him that. 

After a minute or so you felt his hand leave your face and you hesitantly opened your eyes. He smiled at you and tilted his head, taking you in. 

“You’re beautiful.” 

“Shut up old man.” you let out an obnoxiously loud laugh. In your defence, in your current state, that was the height of comedy. 

“Oh wow. You have a talent for running perfect moments don’t you doll.” 

“I’m sorry. You’re not old” You told him, moving to get down off the counter and make your way into bed, “You’re middle-aged” 

Eddie huffed out a laugh as he followed you, “I’ll take it.” He sighed, you couldn’t see but his eyes were full of love as he watched you get into bed. You hadn’t bothered to change into pyjamas. That felt… too much. You were drunk enough that you could easily fall asleep in your clothes. 

“Do you need to lock the door after me,” Eddie asked quietly. 

“The door locks automatically, as soon as you shut it. I’ve been locked out too many times to count,” you told him, your voice muffled by the pillow your head was smushed against. 

“Okay.” Eddie ran a hand through your hair that fell around your face. “I’m gonna go, angel.” 

You were too tired to verbally respond anymore, sleep had quickly taken over when your body hit the mattress. You heard Eddie move around, but didn’t lift your head to see what he was doing. And then you heard the door open and shut. 

Your eyes shut to the sound of his walking down the corridor. 

.

.

.

When you woke up the next morning your first thought was of Eddie. 

And that was how you knew you were officially fucked. 

You sat up and a glass of water on your bedside table caught your eye. You didn’t remember putting it there but you gratefully leaned over and picked it up, taking small sips as you assessed how bad your hangover was. 

It wasn’t. That was your saving grace. You were still young enough to avoid bad hangovers; you had a slight headache and the sunlight seemed slightly too bright. But it was nothing a couple of painkillers wouldn’t sort out. Sitting up fully you swung your legs out of the bed, feet hitting the floor with a dull thud. 

You put the now-empty glass back down and a piece of paper grabbed your attention. Picking it up you saw a number written down. And an ‘-E’ next to it. 

.

.

.

Eddie got back to the hotel to find John waiting outside his room. 

“It’s creepy to stalk people, you know?” Eddie announced as he pulled out the card to open the door. 

John ignored him, “How was the girl?” heasked, tiredness seeping from him. 

“You know her name, what’s with calling her ‘the girl’ all the time?” Eddie asked as he stepped inside. 

“I like it. Makes it sound more mysterious.” John said as he leaned in the doorway, watching Eddie make his way down the hallway and into the bedroom. 

“She’s passed out in bed,” Eddie shouted loud enough for John to hear him. 

“Good. The poor girl’s gonna have a hell of a morning.” 

“She’s young, she’ll be fine,” Eddie said, coming back out from the bedroom and leaning against the wall. 

“Right. And you? You’ll be fine too?” John asked sincerely. 

“If you let me get some damn sleep I’ll be great.” John nodded and pushed himself off the door frame, pulling the door shut behind him. 

Eddie didn’t sleep much that night. He tossed and turned until the early hours of the morning, finally falling asleep when his body physically couldn’t stay awake any longer. 

He was thinking about you. He couldn't stop thinking about you. 

Which is why when his phone rang halfway through the morning, he jumped off the couch and practically lunged for his phone that was sitting on the coffee table in front of him. 

“Hello?” Eddie’s voice was loud against the quietness on the other end of the phone, for a minute he worried it wasn’t you calling. His chest suddenly felt heavy, but then– 

“Hi. It’s me.” You. 

Your voice rang through his head and he would never admit to anyone that a smile graced his face at the sound. 

“How are you?” Eddie asked, he swore you could hear his smile in his voice. 

“I’m alive.” you said, laughter bubbling up, “No, I’m okay actually.” 

“Enjoy it, you won’t be young forever, doll,” Eddie told you as he fidgeted in his seat. 

“Yeah– yeah I know.” something deeper seeped into your voice, a seriousness coming through your words. “Can we talk? I know you wanted to last night, and I’m so so sorry, I’m so embarrassed that I–” 

“You’re all good, sweetheart,” Eddie responded and he heard you breathe a sigh of relief. 

“Do you want to come over? I can send a car for you, come and pick you up?” Eddie asked, holding his breath as he waited for an answer. 

“No I can just get a taxi, it’s okay.” Eddie already knew better than to argue with you, so he didn’t. “Where are you? Some fancy hotel for rich people I’m guessing?” 

Eddie chuckled, he liked it when you made fun of him, because he could always hear the adoration in your voice as you did, “yeah I’m at uh– the same hotel I was last time.” 

“Ah, yeah okay. So it’s okay for me to come over, you’re not busy?” You asked sweetly, nerves peeking their head. 

“No. Never.” Eddie told you. 

Eddie told you the floor and room number before you hung up. 

Shit. Okay. 

He made a promise to himself that he wouldn’t fuck this up again. 

.

.

.

The drive to the hotel was the longest you had ever experienced. Every emotion was running through your body as you rode the elevator to Eddie’s floor. Your leg bounced underneath you repeatedly as you fiddled with the ring on your middle finger. Eventually, the doors opened and you stepped out, smiling at a couple as they walked past you. 

You checked the number on each door until you reached the one Eddie had told you was his. 

You could still turn around. 

No. 

You were already knocking on the door. And you heard someone move around through the door. You realised you were scratching your hands and quickly dropped them to your sides before the door opened, and you saw Eddie standing there. 

He looked like he always did. Messy hair framed his face. Freckles dotted his nose and under his eyes. 

“Hey, sweetheart.” Eddie’s voice alone could convince you to do anything he asked of you, it was one of those voices that managed to seep into your veins and completely engulf you. 

“Hey,” you responded, feeling that calm overtake you. The same calm and safety you felt whenever he looked at you, “Can I come in?” you asked when he didn’t say anything. 

He was taking you in. He was also going over everything he wanted to say to you. He was terrified. Truly. 

“Yeah– shit, yeah of course,” Eddie uttered, moving to the side to allow you to walk in. 

It wasn’t the same suite as last time. This floor was higher up, but it was almost identical. The same layout, the same rooms, the same corridor he had left you standing in. 

You walked in and made your way to where you knew the living room was, the same decadence overwhelmed you, and you had to take a minute to get used to it again. Eddie followed a couple of steps behind you - the air was thick with tension, neither of you entirely sure of what the other was about to say or do. 

You turned to look at Eddie and  inclined your head towards the couch, asking if it was okay for you to sit down. He nodded and you both sat yourselves down on either ends of the couch, enough space between the two of you for another person to fit there. 

The TV played silently, a movie playing that you didn’t recognise. The floor-to-ceieling windows that covered the wall to the side of you let sunlight drown the room in a warm golden glow. 

“I–”

“Do you-” 

You both cut yourselves off as you spoke over one another. It could have been an awkward moment, but the feeling faded into something sweeter. A tender moment that showed each other just how nervous you both were. For some reason, knowing Eddie was just as nervous as you were made you feel better. 

“Sorry, I just– I had some… stuff I wanted to to tell you, say to you.” Eddie told you, watching your face ccarefully. “If that’s okay.” 

“Yeah, yeah that’s fine. I’m sorry, go ahead.” You settled back into the couch, lifting your legs and crossing them as you turned to face Eddie. 

“Okay I’m not promising I’m very good at articulating myself, or fuckin’ whatever, so you’re gonna have to give me a minute.” Eddie said, his voice shaky. 

“That’s okay.” you told him, your voice soft and bareilly above a whisper. His eyes had glazed over with something like fear, you wanted to lean across and rest a comforting hand on his, but you didn’t. Not yet. 

“That morning, when I left you–” you tensed up as the memory flooded back, Eddie noticed it too but carried on, “I have regretted that every day since then. I’ve done some really fucking stupid things, maybe one day I can tell you all of them, but that? Leaving you? That is the worst thing I have ever done.” 

Eddie’s breath caught in his throat and he coughed before carrying on talking, giving himself a minute to gather himself. 

“I thought I would move on. Forget about you– and I know, that makes me sound like a complete asshole, but I’m tryna be honest here. I wanted to forget about you. I needed to. Because the way I felt when I looked at you, scared me so much I didn’t know what to do.” 

The emotions you were both feeling were palpable in the comforting silence of the room. You didn’t try and interject, letting Eddie talk. You had never heard his voice sound so genuine. Almost like every other time he had spoken he had been putting on a mask, pretending to be someone else- pretending to be the rockstar everyone so desperately wanted him to be. You liked this version of him a lot more. 

“When I was a kid my–” he paused for a minute, unintentional, as if he wanted to speak but he couldn’t form the words for a second, “my mom used to tell me that when you meet someone who makes you feel so happy it terrifies you, you should hold onto them.” 

“Because that’s when you know its real. She told me you couldn’t love someone without being scared to death at the same time. Because loving somsone? Fuck, it’s a big feeling, you know?” You laughed gently at that, for someone who famously wrote his own music he really did have an interesting choice of words, but you found it endearing. 

“It takes over every part of you and when she would tell me that, I thought she was lying, or something. Because if falling in love was so terrifying I didn’t understand why people would do it.” Eddie was moving his hands as he spoke, punctuating every word with a gentle movement. “And then I never felt that way, towards anyone. In forty years I never looked at someone and felt the world fall out from beneath my feet. And I was glad I didn’t, because I didn’t want to hurt that person.” 

Your eyebrows scrunched together in confusion, your moth dropping open slightly to ask him what he meant. But then he was talking again, and you settled back into listening. 

“Sweetheart I am not here to try and emotionally blackmail you into staying, or being with me, or anything, okay?” Eddie’s voice went more serious, his eyes staring into yours in a way that made you think he could see right through you and read every thought that was running through your mind. 

“And I’m not going to sit here and tell you some cliche sob story about how I had a shitty childhood and it fucked me up or anything.” You hadn’t realised it but you had moved closer to Eddie, your knees grazing each others as you listened to him talk. 

“I did have a crappy childhood- I mean it wasn’t the worst, by any means but it wasn’t an all-American family with a white picket fence, you know? My dad was- my dad was the worst man I’ve ever met in my life, he treated my mom like a fucking piece of shit and I hated him for it. I listened to them fight, argue, I would leave my bedroom door open so I could hear if I needed to go and help my mom.” 

You felt tears well in your eyes as he spoke. He was being completely honest with you. You could tell. This wasn’t easy for him to talk about. 

He had never spoken about this. 

“He’d hit her, do other things too but I remember when he would hit her. I remember the noise it would make. I would try and grab his arm but he would just swing back at me and throw me against the nearest wall– and I was a skinny kid you know? Fuck there was nothing of me, so I had no chance against him.” 

Eddie seemed to quickly realise how much he had just said, what he had admitted to you and his face dropped. “Fuck I– I only told you that because one day, after my mom had left, and we were fighting he told me that– he told me that I was just like him.” 

“He said when he looked at me, he saw himself. Which I didn’t understand at first, because I was the spitting image of my mom. Hair, the eyes, everything. But then he laughed and told me that one day I’d realise it too, that I was gonna be exactly like him, whether I wanted to or not.” Eddie shifted his body weight on the couch, moving his hand to rest over the back of it. 

“So that day I promised myself I would never fall in love with someone, because I would never put someone through what he put me and my mom through.” Eddie wiped his eyes with the back of his hand, he wasn’t crying but he obviously worried he was about to. 

When he didn’t carry on talking you said, “Eddie can I say something?” he nodded and you moved your hand to rest it on his knee that was next to yours, his eyes followed your hand movement and then flicked back up to yours when he realised what you were doing. 

“You just sat and told me that you’re biggest fear is turning into your dad, right?” Eddie nodded slowly, waiting to see what you were going to say. “But the fact that you just told me that? That means you are nothing like him.” 

Eddie swallowed a lum in his throat, “I don’t want to hurt you, in any way. But what if there’s something inside me that is just bad.” 

“What if there’s something inside of you that is just desperate to love and be loved?” 

Eddie moved his hand to rest over yours, and you interlaced your fingers together. 

“There’s more I want to tell you, but I can’t right now, I’m just not ready but I will, soon. And I will spend every minute of every day aplogizing for leaving you, for being an asshole to you at the diner, for everything. I promise you I–” 

‘Eddie, I know you will.” you truly did know that. 

“Okay.” his voice come out soft, gratefulness tinging his voice as he realised you genuinely meant it. And then an understanding flicked between the two of you. 

You two were far from perfect. This situation was far from a fairytale. And maybe to everyone else you would seem crazy for what you were about to do. But you didn’t care. Because when you looked at Eddie you felt the most terrified you have ever felt in your life, because you knew you wanted to see his face every day for the rest of your life.

Eddie knew that too. He knew there was no other option anymore. He had to wake up next to you every morning, he had to fall asleep next to you every night, and there was no other choice expect that. 

“Can you kiss me now?” you asked, a smile tugging on your lips and lighting your eyes up in a way that had Eddie falling head over heels all over again. 

“Yeah– yeah, sweetheart. Come here,” Eddie leaned forward at the same time you did  and cupped your face in both of his hands, you titled your head to the side and then all of the planets aligned and nothing else mattered except the press of his lips against yours. 

The kiss started off slow, sweet and deep like you were both trying to saviour this moment for as long as possible. Eddie’s lips moved gently against your own and you reached up to take one of his hands that was cupping your face, and interlace your fingers together. 

His lips were soft and you felt like you were floating on a sun-kissed cloud everytime he guided your head to the side, allowing him to kiss you harder, deeper. Soon enough that feeling built up inside you again and you took a leap of faith; opening your mouth and letting your tongue run softly over Eddie’s bottom lip, a desperate plead for more. 

Eddie pulled back, you leaned forward trying to chase his lips, and he couldn’t help the love that consumed him at the look of serenity that painted your face. You didn’t want to be away from him for even a second. And neither did he, but he didn’t want to ruin this, or seem like he only wanted one thing.

“Sweetheart– we don’t have to.” Eddie told you gently, his hand caressing your face and his thumb rubbing small circles into your skin.  

“You don’t want to?” You asked, if he didn’t want to you would stop, of course you would. 

“No! I mean no, yes– I do want to, fuck of course I do. I just don’t want you to think-” 

“I don’t think that Eddie, I promise.” you cut him off before he could finish speaking, already knowing what he was about to say, the worry that flashed across his face told you everything you needed to know. A sickly-sweet smile spread across his face before he leaned back in to kiss you. Your lips moving against each others in perfect harmony, like this was what you were meant to do all your life. 

Eddie let his tongue run over your bottom lip, you let him deepen the kiss and your tongues met in a cataclysmic way, both of you desperate to taste each other. The kiss was fast and slow, deep and soft, it was everything you had been craving for the past seven months- even when you hated him, you couldn’t forget the way his lips had felt on yours. 

You could have been making out for five minutes or five hours, time had no meaning when you were with Eddie, it was all him and nothing else. But then you felt him push you back slightly, he relucatlanly pulled away from you, his lips still grazing yours as he told you to lie down. 

You did as he asked you to, clumsily manouvering your body until you were lay flat against the soft couch cushions, Eddie moving to lie on top of you. One of his hands rested on your waist, his fingers grazing the tiny slip of skin that was showing where your jumper had raised up. He rested his weight on his forearm next to your head, carefully moving your hair out of the way before he did so. 

You breathed him in as he lowered his mouth to your jaw, planting gentle kisses over your face. His hair fell around both of you, and if kissing Eddie felt like heaven then you didn’t have the vocolabury to describe what it felt like to be underneath him, completely consumed by everything that was so undeniably Eddie. 

His curly hair, his soft lips, the little sighs he let out when he kissed a new spot on your body, the way his ring-clad fingers graze your skin. It was as close to a religious experience that you would ever get. 

Eddie trailed kisses down your across your jaw and down your neck, you lent your head back further, giving him more room and you felt his lips turn up into a smile against your skin. 

Your hand raised to rest in Eddie’s hair as he kissed your neck, instantly finding your sweet spot again, as if no time had passed and every sound you had made and reacted to his every touch came flooding back to him as he tasted your skin. 

He was determined be soft with you. Take things slow and savour every moment. You were too, but then Eddie gently grazed your sweet spot with his teeth and you found yourself pushing his head further into his neck, desperate for his touch. 

Eddie listened to you, the hand on the back of his head told him everything he needed to know. He gently sucked a lovebite over your pulse point; the breathy moans that fell from your mouth were music to him, he would do whatever it took to hear those noises for the rest of his life. 

Eddie continued to mouth at your neck until he needed to kiss you again. He lifted his head from your neck only to be met your heavy eyelids, mouth slightly parted and a look of complete comfort on your face. He held your chin between his thumb and forefinger, moving your head back up to him. Your noses touching before he connected your lips, and you kissed like the world was ending tomorrow. 

This was perfect, but you needed more. You felt that familiar aching start to grow within you and you languidly moved one of your legs to wrap around Eddie’s waist, pulling him flush against you. 

Your movement caused Eddie to falter in his kissing you, for just a second. And then he had his hand on your jean-clad thigh and he was carefully grinding his hips down into yours. Determined to keep the soft atmosphere you were both bathing in. You panted into each other’s mouths, neither of you kissing anymore, your lips only moving against each other because of the gentle movement of Eddie rocking against you. 

Neither of you said anything, you didn’t need to. Your soft pants and whimpers filling the soothing silence in the room. Both of you perfectly content to just take each other in, feel each other’s bodies move against each other, without any rush for more. 

You lasted like that for a while. Sweet kisses shared between the two of you. And then Eddie made one move with his hips that had you moaning louder than you had before, and suddenly it wasn’t enough. 

“Eddie,” you managed to breathe out. 

“Yeah, angel?” Eddie asked you, his own voice sounding fucked out already. 

“Need more,” Eddie pressed a kiss to your lips in response, he would give you whatever you needed. 

“Yeah? tell me sweetheart, I’ll give you whatever you need, you just need to tell me.” Eddie’s soft voice settled over you and tightened your grip on him, grounding yourself. Trying to remind you that was real. This was really happening. Eddie made you feel so safe that you didn’t feel any embarrassment in telling him what you needed. 

“I need- fuck, need your fingers, please.” Eddie whispered an okay and managed to slip his hands between your bodies, sitting up to undo the buttons on your jeans, his hands were shaking slightly. Yours were too. 

“Can you just lift your–” you did what he asked before he got the question out. Somehow, despite him lying over you, he managed to take your jeans and underwear off. You both laughed quietly when it became slightly awkward, both of you moving around as you needed to. Soon enough he had your jeans placed on the floor next to you. 

Eddie placed kisses along the top of your thigh, moving up to kiss over your waist and stomach, gently pushing up your jumper once you signalled it was okay for him to do that. He already had your pants off, and yet he wouldn’t even lift your top up without getting your permission again. 

Eddie was kissing every square inch of your body, his plump lips leaving sparks everywhere he touched you. As content as you were to bask in the affection, you really needed him to touch you. 

You tapped his shoulder and pulled him up to you, moving him where you wanted him, exposing his neck so you could kiss it. He let you, tilting his head to side and letting small breathless whines fall from his lips as yours caressed his neck. 

You felt his hand slip between your bodies again and then his fingers fell to between your legs and he ran them through your slit, gathering the wetness he found there and moving them up to your clit. 

“Fuck doll, you’re so wet, so fuckin’ perfect for me.” Eddie was breathless just from feeling how needy you were for him. He already knew he would never get over the affect he had on you. 

You moaned out in response and Eddie circled your clit. His fingers sedning sparks through your body, “Oh god– Eddie”.

“I know, I know. It’s okay, let it out. Let me hear you.” Eddie cooed at you, applying slightly more pressure and just barely speeding up, and  when your back arched off the sofa he smiled, knowing he’d found the perfect way to touch you. 

Eddie dipped down to kiss you, and you pulled him closer to you. You werne’t sure you would ever be close enough to him. He kissed you as his hand worked you to your breaking point, he swallowed your soft whimpers and moans, letting out little shh shh shh’s and comforting praise when you got too worked up. 

“Fuck oh my god– inside me, please Eds,” The nickname broke his heart and he kissed your forehead before dipping his two fingers down to press them gently inside you. 

The stretch of his two fingers was definitely there, but it was clouded by the pleasure that spread through your body, and the relief of him touching you the way you needed. 

“You’re okay, sweets?”  Eddie asked when he saw your eyebrows scrunched together, eyes closed. But then you moaned and nodded your head with such certainty it would have been comedic if he wasn’t so completely enamoured by the way you were falling apart underneath him. 

He slowly started moving his fingers in you, your wetness making it feel even better. Eddie was barely even pulling them out of you, instead he rocked them gently inside you, and when he curled his fingers upwards you swear you died for a second. Your eyes screwed shut and your mouth dropping open in a soundless moan. 

You were so despeate you knew from the start you wouldn’t last long, but he had barely been going for two minutes and you felt that knot get tighter in your stomach and you knew you were so close to being thrown over the edge. 

Eddie felt you get tighter around his fingers and he was grinding his hips down into your thigh without even realising he was doing it. Feeling his hips move against you was all you needed to send you to your breaking point, Eddie noticed instantly in the way your breath hitched. 

“Are you gonna come for me, sweetheart?” you nodded as he kissed your cheek, your nose, the side of your mouth; anywhere he could reach. “You can come angel, come on. Just let go for me, I’ve got you. Need to feel you come all over my fingers for me” 

His words sent you over the edge and you barely even recognised the sounds you let out, your ears were ringing and you were sure your vision blacked out for a second. Eddie never let up, working you through your orgasm, drawing it out for as long as possible, letting you ride it until it got to be too much. 

When it did, your hand flew down to his hand, grabbing his wrist to stop his movements. Eddie carefully pulled his fingers out of you and your eyes went wide with need when he raised them to his mouth, cleaning your arousal off of them and dipping down to kiss you. 

The taste of yourself on his tongue was all-consuming. Eddie moaned against you and you pushed your hand between you to feel his cock through his pants. His hips stuttered and he swore under his breath.

“Fuck sweetheart, keep doing that.” Eddie practically begged you, and who were you to say no to such a pretty man begging you to touch him? 

You kept plaming him over his pants, he was moaning into his neck and when you undid his zipper to slip your hand underneath he almost bit down on the skin he was sucking on to stop himself from distrubing the rest of the hotel with the sounds that were falling from his mouth. 

“Shit, okay– I need to be inside you, angel. Is that okay?” Eddie asked, his eyes clouded with arousal and his skin flushed. 

You nodded and shorty after Eddie was pulling you up from your position on the couch. Eddie stood up and held his hand out for you. You took it and he led you to the bedroom across the hallway. Time slowed down as he delicately placed his hands on you hips and pulled you against him, kissing you as he placed his hand behind your head and lay you down onto the bed, climbing to rest on top of you. 

You kissed him until you felt him tense against you. You bit back a laugh at how desperate he was, he didn’t want to rush you, of course. But he was certain if he didn’t get inside you in the next two minutes he was going to go insane. He needed to feel you around him. 

You pushed Eddie’s shoulder and he pulled away from you to see what you were doing. 

“Fuck me, Eddie.” you said breathlessly. 

Eddie didn’t need to be asked twice. 

He backed off you to throw off his trousers and top and grab a condom. You watched him intensely and felt the wetness cover your thighs at the sight of him. 

You had almost forgotten how perfect he was. Almost. 

He moved back over you, kissing you as he wrapped your legs around his waist loosely. He guided himself into you, rubbing himself over your clit a couple of times until you were whimpering for him to please fuck you. 

He remembered the last time. How it took you a second to adjust to him. He was gentle as he pushed unto you a few inches. He stold your breath from you for a second, the stretch not feeling as painful as last time, instead you were already begging for more. Moving your hips to get him deeper. 

Eddie smiled and carried on pushing into you. Watching your face for any sign that you were uncomfortable, but it never came. Soft whimpers and moans fell from your lips and your legs tightened around him as he bottomed out inside you. 

It felt so right. Nothing felt as right as Eddie being inside you. 

“Fuck, good girl– taking me so fucking well.” Eddie praised you as he began to move inside you, pulling out almost all the way and then back into you. 

He found the perfect rhythm. One that had you both whispering soft praises into each others mouths and had your nails digging into his back. His forearms were back on either side of his head as held his body weigh off of you. 

But when you whimpered out in protest at the small piece of space left between you he lowered himself, his chest flush against yours and his head buried in your neck. 

His ring-clad fingers held onto your thigh around his waist- despite the gentleness, you were sure you would have marks there afterwards. 

Eddie normally lasted a while, but being inside of you sent him flying towards his release ridiculously fast. He mouthed at your neck and when he hit that sweet-spot inside you, you let out a moan that could have made Eddie come there and then. 

“Fuck baby, you feel so good– oh god,” his voice was muffled against your neck, never stopping pressing kisses into your skin. 

“You feel so good too, fuck Eddie.” 

Eddie wanted you to come again before him, he pushed one of your legs up, holding it against you and the change in position had you clawing at his back and pulling his head up so you could kiss him. 

You could tell Eddie was close by the whimpers he was letting out, his head dropping to rest against yours and you could hear him right in your ear, sending your eyes rolling back into your head. 

“Fuck I want you to come for me, Eddie,” you whispered against his hair. 

He pulled up to look at you, he looked completely fucked out and you wondered how he hadn’t come already. 

“Want you to come first, angel, okay?” Eddie asked you, desperation seeping through his words. 

“No, no it’s okay. Please I want you to come. I need you to come for me, please baby–” 

Eddie mewled and you pulled him down into a fiery kiss, the gentleness that had permeated everything you had done before suddenly disappearing. 

“Jesus sweethear, you;re gonna kill me, oh fuck–” 

Eddie groaned and you felt his hips stutter against yours as he came. You ran your fingers through his hair as he came. His grip on your thigh loosening and your leg dropping back against the mattress when his whole body went limp. 

If he wasn’t already flush against you he would have collapsed. 

You both breathed heavily as he came down from his high. You don’t know how long you lay there for, but Eddie slid his arm underneath your back and pulled you impossibly tighter against you as his head found its place back in your neck. 

You were glad he was so fucked out, because you didn’t want him to pull out yet. You loved the feeling of him inside you. 

“Sweetheart?” Eddie said into your neck. 

You ran your nails along his scalp, humming in answer to his question, telling him you were listening. 

“Thank you, fuck you’re. I–” Eddie stopped himself when he looked at you. 

But you knew what he wanted to say. He just couldn’t yet. You understood. 

“I know. I know, Eddie.” You comforted him and he kissed you, his tongue running over your lips and you stayed like that for a while. Soft, deep kisses shared as you both came to terms with what had just happened. What it meant. 

Soon Eddie moved off of you, pulling out gently and tidying himself up. You expected him to come back with a warm washcloth to clean you up to. But when he walked back into the room he pulled you to the end of the bed and knelt down in front of you, pulling your legs over his shoulders. 

“Eddie, what–” 

“You didn’t come, sweetheart. That just won’t work.” Eddie said before he ran his tongue over your sensitive cunt and your hands dived into his hair and your back arched off the bed and the whole world seemed to go quiet again. 

His tongue ran through your slit, alternating between sucking on your clit and dipping his tonuge inside you. You mewled and whimpered and he held his arm over your waist to keep your body pressed to the mattress. But leaving you enough space to grind your hips into his face, he mewled and pulled back to tell you how good you were being for him, that he wanted you to use him until you were seeing stars. 

You didn’t last long after that. Your hand covered his that held your waist down and you threw your hea back, letting your hips mvoe against him and not hiding the moans that fell from your half-open mouth. 

“Oh fuck me, Eddie– I’m gonna–” 

“I know, come on angel, come for me.” 

That was all it took for you to go over the edge for the second time. Eddie worked you through your orgasm again, only moving his mouth away from you when you were physically pulling back from the overstimualtion. 

When you opened your eyes, as you felt the mattress dip around you, you saw Eddie. His star-flecked eyes looking at yours and you held him against you. 

No one else could ever make you feel the way he could. 

And no one else could make him feel the way you did. 

.

.

.

You and Eddie spent the rest of the day in bed together. Limbs tangled and your head resting on his chest. His arms wrapped around you as he softly scratched your back whilst you talked about anything and everything. 

It didn’t matter what you were talking about, it just mattered that you two were together. 

You had sex a few more times that day, each time taking your breath away just like the first time. It was all slow and intended to show the other just how much you meaned to each other. 

You fell asleep that night completely exhausted. You wrapped yourself around Eddie and he felt sure this was how he would fall asleep for the rest of his life. 

You weren’t perfect. Neither of you were. But you didn’t want each other to be perfect- you just wanted you to be yourselves. And you were. 

There was a lot to figure out, Too many things you had to discuss and learn about each other. But for now, this was enough. 

And when you woke up the next morning, the sunlight hitting your faces from forgetting to shut the curtains, you only pulled the comforter over both do your heads. 

Eddie stirred awake and pulled you tighter against him, his arms wrapped around you and you settled back against him, your face in his neck as he rubbed his hands up and down your back, lulling you back to sleep.

.

.

.

thank you so much for reading! <3

taglist @harrys-four-nipples @choke-me-eddie @hbaramas @cardiganquinn @etherealeddie @eddies-girl-22 @tlclick73 @c0untryclub @eddiemunson95 @harrys-tittie @bestofbucky @somethingvicked @emma77645 @bebe0701 @bibieddiesgf @ganjas-shit @corkadymu @digitalhearts @specialsnowflake-gabbi @littlestarfighter03 @mandyjo8719 @hargrovesswifee @eddiesguitarskills @sunnytkm23 @bpj519 @ajeff855 @sebastiansstanswhore @marriedtoeddie @manda-panda-monium @kissmyacdc @tayhar811 @husherstan @teary-eyed-egg @ourautumn86 @whenshelanded @alana4610 @tabloidteen @tobesolovelysstuff @damon-loves-pie @georgiapeaches-world @josephsfavoritegirl @angel-jz @kittenslovie @boinkybarness @sadpetalsstuff @sashaphantomhive @winterton-reads @hermadroyalhiney @loveberrie (i'm sorry if you asked to be on the tag list and you're not here, it got chaotic and i tried my best 🤍)

[aethertetsuya]

DP X DC Prompt

Flash meets Danny.

During one of Flash's "runs", he stumbles in Amity Park. This was during the time of Pariah Dark's take over and the exact moment Danny pulls the Frightknight sword.

Of course thinking this was just going to be one of his normal morning runs he leaves his JL communicator. So what does he do. Try and use the nearest phone booth only to find that calls coming from Amity to the Watchtower is redirected to voice mail. (It was one of those press 1 for Physical Problem, Press 2 for a Magical Problem, etc) As he exits he sees the horde of skeletons get pushed back by a green wall and decides to see where it comes from.

Thats where he meets the Fenton Family, Vlad, Sam and Tucker. The Fenton Parents blow his mind on the reality of Ghost existing but he doesn't by their bias. He gets the whole tour package of the lab. Weapons, Gadgets, Protective gear etc. Upon observation, figures Vlad is a manipulative supervillain, Danny is showing signs of being a Vigilante and the Fenton Parents dont know they are shooting their own kid.

He helps build the eco suit and tweeks it to be more power efficient and has Super Fast Charging. When Danny goes to fight PD he gets into his Flash gear and paints its with ghost repelling paint, turning it into a Black suit with Green Bolts and decides to help out. Danny, out of options, decides to set his opinions aside for the moment and accept the help.

After everything, they find a secluded area to talk and clear the air. Flash apologizes for all the not helping they did and promises to do something about it. But Danny rejects this saying the difficulty of fighting a possessed league. Flash counters they can use Fenton tech but Danny says it would look like they are supporting their Parents bias on Ghost.

In the end they settle for Flash baing the exclusive JL to help them out in times of need provided he not use the Red and Gold suit. Danny then gives him Fenton Phones for communication and the two hit it off.

CW watches "Help is given to those who ask and deserve it"

Flash just pops in once a month to check on things and bonds with the group and mentors them.

Finally on a JL debrief. They get shocked when a tear in reality appears and a floating eye ball comes out and invites Flash to the corronation of His Excellency King Phantom Ancient of Space, Keeper of Balance between Life and Death, Defender of Living and the Dead.

Flash tears up and says "My boy's all grown up"

[vnti-vnxiety-recs]

Oo how about a yeosang x reader smut? He's an idol she's a fan but she has never met an idol before. So she gets nervous etc. And she's a hybrid so since she's nervous she goes into heat and he quickly takes her away from the crowd sensing her distress. After speaking with management takes her back to the hotel and asks Seonghwa what to do. So he tells him how to help her and get back to clear (creampie her) and so he does but he makes her squirt for the first time and he ends up asking to go again etc? Please

These asks were similar enough i combined them. This was my first crack at writing hybrid so hope its on brand.

Unprotected sex, creampie, mature, MDNI (lowkey I forgot what I wrote and I don't feel like proofreading sooooo WARNING WARNING)

Hybrid! Reader's first heat with Yeosang (M) ₊˚౨ৎ˚₊

Today was lively, filled with people bustling in and out of the shopping district. You had planned to run a few errands and pick up some clothes, especially since you had recently been paid—and shopping was your guilty pleasure. As you were window shopping, you caught a glimpse of him through the shop's glass pane: Yeosang from ATEEZ. You were so taken aback that you could hardly move. You had known they were on tour in your city, but the tickets had been out of your budget at the time, so you hadn’t been able to attend. It was shocking to unexpectedly encounter a member in such a casual setting; you would have thought they would be on the road by now.

You felt a wave of nervousness wash over you; you had never seen an idol in real life before. Yeosang was accompanied by what appeared to be his manager. As a huge ATEEZ fan and Yeosang bias, this was an incredible, once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to speak with him. You knew you had to seize the moment.

The store was bustling with holiday shoppers, making it challenging to navigate through the crowded aisles. You carefully maneuvered your way in and out of people, your heart racing with every step. The closer you got to him, the more intense the feeling became. It wasn’t just nerves; something deeper stirred within you, but you pushed forward nonetheless.

“Excuse me,” you manage to say, your voice weak and shaky.

Yeosang, who was engrossed in a rack of clothes when you approached, turned to look at you. A small smile spread across his face. “Yes?” he replied.

“Are you Yeosang from ATEEZ?” you asked, wincing at your own question. Of course, he was; you wouldn’t have approached him otherwise.

He chuckled softly, his eyes sparkling, and nodded in confirmation. “Yes.”

“I’m a really big fan, and I just wanted to say hi and tell you how much I love your mus—” You suddenly feel lightheaded and clear your throat, forcing yourself to finish. “Music,” you manage to add weakly.

“Are you okay?” Yeosang asks, concern etching his features. His hands reach out to steady you, and it dawns on you that you’ve been swaying.

When he touches you, it's as if your skin ignites. A wave of tingling warmth rushes through you, leaving you unable to concentrate. The noise of the crowd swells around you, becoming almost deafening, and it feels like your ears are ringing. Your vision starts to blur, and suddenly there are two or three fuzzy images of Yeosang before you.

Then everything goes dark.

When you wake up, it feels like your body is ablaze. You writhe in discomfort, the heat radiating off you so intensely that you throw off the covers you hadn’t even noticed before. As you sit up with some difficulty, it dawns on you that you’re no longer in the bustling mall. The room around you resembles a hotel suite—tastefully decorated yet overwhelmingly unfamiliar.

You strain to hear, catching the faint sounds of muffled conversation coming from the bathroom.

“I couldn’t just leave her there!” Yeosang’s voice carries through the door, laced with urgency. After a brief moment of silence, he continues, “I don’t know what’s wrong with her. Seonghwa came and said she was a hybrid… He thinks she’s in heat.”

A heavy silence follows his words, and confusion swirls in your mind like a thick fog. You’ve heard whispers of hybrids before—beings that blend human and animal traits—but what could it mean for you? You’d always believed your parents were entirely human; could they have concealed something so significant from you?

An unsettling realization washes over you. What kind of hybrid could you possibly be? You think back to the odd things about yourself—things you’d always brushed off. Unusually keen senses, a strange affinity for certain animals, but nothing overtly visible. Usually, hybrids had telltale signs like tails, pointed ears, or even sharper teeth, all characteristics that would have required concealment.

But you don’t recall anything like that in your life. What was happening to you? As your mind races, you find yourself grappling with questions that feel far beyond your understanding. You try to calm your racing heart, focusing on the warmth you still feel radiating from your skin and the lingering memory of Yeosang’s touch. Would he have really brought you here? And why would he think you were in heat?

Just then, the bathroom door creaks open, and Yeosang steps out, his expression quickly shifting from concern to relief when he sees you awake. “You’re okay,” he says softly, as if trying to soothe both you and himself

Your eyes land on him, and it’s as if all your senses have been cranked up to a hundred. Every nuance, every detail about Yeosang is amplified, and your body feels strangely magnetized to him, an overwhelming urge to pounce surging through you.

“Ughhh,” you groan, curling in on yourself. You’re not writhing in pain anymore, but rather it feels like an instinctual restlessness coursing through your veins, one that’s unfamiliar yet potent.

His scent wafts toward you, a heady mix that sends your senses into overdrive. You find yourself clawing at the covers, desperately trying to keep yourself grounded. “What’s happening to me?” you ask through clenched teeth, the words escaping in a breathless whisper.

“I think you’re in heat,” he replies cautiously, his eyes searching yours for understanding. “I can help you, but you have to let me.”

His voice sends a shiver down your spine. “I don’t care,” you insist, your voice forceful despite the chaos inside you. “Do whatever you have to—just make this go away.”

He nods, but there’s a noticeable hesitation in his demeanor. “Okay, um… You’ll have to get undressed,” he says, his voice quiet and uncertain. “I can help relieve you, but… only if you’re okay with that.”

He glances away as he fidgets with his hands. “I don’t want to pressure you, but I really think it would help ease your discomfort.” There's an almost palpable tension in the room as he waits for your response, hoping you’ll trust him amidst the chaos swirling inside you.

You quickly shed your clothes, desperation driving your movements. Crawling to the edge of the bed on your knees, you looked up at him, your breath quickening. “Please… help me,” you panted, the weight of your need pressing heavily upon you. You were gradually losing your mind—literally. Every ounce of your being was screaming at you to devour him. You needed him to do something fast.

You see him take a deep breath before he sheds his own clothes. His touch is light as he guides you to lay on your back but the moment his hands touched your skin, you lost it. Your body reacts like a spring-loaded trap and your limbs cage him in. Your legs wrap around him and you pull him flush to your body. He lets out a groan, his already hard cock slipping through your impossibly wet folds. You were soaking.

“Fuck, should we go slow?” he asks with a shuddered breath.

“I can’t wait. I feel like I'm dying every second your not in me” You growl primal instincts screaming at you to let him breed you.

He leans back as far as you let him and slips a hand between your bodies to line himself up at your entrance. When he pushes into you, it's like nothing you've ever felt before. Yeosang must have felt like that too because his grip tightens and he's driving into you at a bruising pace and you're grateful because if he gave you anything less, you would have cried.

You still do cry, but these are tears of pure, unfiltered pleasure. It was like he was made for you, made to fill you up and fuck you over and over. He pulls away and your hands reach out to grab him but he's quicker than you; he presses you back down into the mattress with your legs pressed up against your chest before he's thrusting back into you. The room was filled with lewd noises, his throaty groans, your unabashed moans and the slick sounds of your core slapping against his balls.

“Im close” You whine.

“Me too,” Yeosang moans, not letting up for a second.

Soon he's spilling deep into you. The feeling of his warm seed filling you up pushes you over the edge and you're riding that wave with him.

He doesn't pull out right away, and you savor the feel of the way your bodies entertwine. Hes pulling out and you think hes about to get off of you but hes thrusting back into you with a new hunger.

“Ah! Yeosang,” you moan. You felt a lot better now but you weren't complaining as he continued to please you. You felt that familiar tug in your gut and you knew you were close again but this time felt different. You can feel your legs start to quake and then you were making a mess.

Yeosang tried to fuck you through it but the pressure of your release pushed him out. You squirt all over his thighs, surely ruining his sheets.

Your embarrassed but when you look up at him, he doesn't seem phased.

“Can we go again?”

[lxvemaze]

彡why can't i hate you?

pairing' young k x reader

genre' angst

warnings' good relationship gone bad, reminiscing about past relationship, reader is still in love with younghyun, flashbacks written in italics, based off of "i loved you" by day6

wc' 1.6k

a/n' i listened to "i loved you" at least forty times back-to-back yesterday, so i decided to write a fic about my bias based on the lyrics 🙏 is anyone gonna read this? ofc not. am i still gonna post it? yes ofc

You hated him. God, you hated him. If your mother had heard you say that, she would’ve scoffed and told you, “Hate is a strong word.” But you thought it wasn’t strong enough. Scrolling through the Google drive he had sent you on your last anniversary that was filled with all the old pictures and videos he'd taken of the two of you on his stupid vintage film camera, you could only think of all the things about him that you hated. You hated his stupid hair that you used to run your fingers through at night, his pointy nose that you used to kiss in the mornings before you left for work, his calloused hands that used to hold you with such warmth, his pretty lips that once told you that he couldn’t imagine living without you, that he would love you till the day he died. The same lips that told you he didn’t love you anymore.

“I just…can’t do this anymore.”

You stood still in the kitchen of your apartment, your hands frozen as they still held the potato you were peeling as you prepared dinner for yourself and your boyfriend of six years. It was Friday night, which meant that Younghyun had come over for dinner, as he had nearly every Friday for the past six years- barring the times he’s been on tour. When he’d arrived at your apartment, you could tell that something was off. You’d just assumed that he’d had a bad day, or was just tired. You never would have thought that he’d be telling you this. Not after you’d discussed engagement rings just last week.

“What are you trying to say? You’re just breaking up with me? Did I do something? Did I say something?”

He shook his head with his face in his hands as you rambled on, questioning what could’ve possibly made him say these things to you. He looked up at you, both of you looked a wreck, tears in your eyes and noses running.

“It’s not that. You…You didn’t do anything.”

“Then why? What happened? Why now?”He took a deep breath as he took in your disheveled state. The tears from your face had fallen onto your pretty powder blue sweater, and he fought the urge to smile at the thought that even after all the years you’d been together, all the fights you’d had, all the times you’d seen each other at your worst, you still tried to look pretty for him. But as sweet as that thought was, it still couldn’t change how he felt.

“I don’t know. I just…I don’t know how else to say it. But I just…” He took another breath to steady his shaking voice, “I just…Don’t love you anymore.”

You hated how he never gave you a reason. Even after crying and begging, he couldn’t tell you. And maybe you said some things that you shouldn’t have, maybe telling him to leave, that you never wanted to see him again was going too far. And maybe it was a lie.

After he left, you found that he’d blocked your number, your socials, everything. Just like that, he erased you from his life. You resented him for that. After he left, you went numb for a few weeks. It was like your whole world had ended, like everything had lost all its meaning. Your mom came by almost every day to check on you, and of course to tell you that she never really liked Younghyun, that she just wanted you to be happy, and you’d be better off without him anyway. You hated how she talked about him.

After a while, you decided to pick yourself up and go about life as if he never existed. You threw out all the things he’d left at your apartment over the years, including the plant he’d given you as a housewarming gift when you first moved in. You tried to forget him, forget the time you spent with him, the trips you went on, everything. It was hard when your coworkers and friends would ask about him, when your cousin asked if you were bringing him to the upcoming family reunion, when the little old lady that lived in the apartment next to yours knocked on your door to ask if he could carry her new coffee table up to her apartment.

You were doing well at forgetting his existence. It had been almost three months, and your apartment had been scrubbed clean of any trace of him, all his photos had been deleted from your camera roll. But while you were sitting on your computer in your home office, scrolling through your Google drive to try and find an old work project that you needed to reference in a new report, you came across his last anniversary present to you. You couldn’t stop yourself before you clicked on it. Looking through all the old photos and videos of the past six years, you felt nothing but resentment as you saw his smiling face in the thumbnails.

You must have been scrolling for at least half an hour before you stopped at a certain video, the thumbnail bringing up a particularly harsh memory. You hesitantly clicked on the video, and the sound of your own laughter flooded from your speakers.

He’d really outdone himself this time. When he’d asked you a month ago what the number one place to go on your bucket list was, you immediately told him “Vienna”. You’d wanted to go ever since you were a little kid and you’d heard the BIlly Joel song of the same name coming from your dad’s record player. Little did you know that he’d take you there as a surprise for your fourth anniversary.

You giggled in glee as you looked out across the beautiful river that you’d always longed to see. You turned to see Younghyun pointing his camera at you, grinning as he observed your reaction. 

“Are you filming me?”

“How could I not?” He laughed as you playfully swatted at the camera, pulling the neck of your sweater over your face so he couldn’t film it. “You’re just so beautiful, I can’t help it.”

You stilled and smiled as he reached one hand out to grab your own and drag it away from your face, the neck of your sweater falling back into place at your collarbone. He pressed your knuckles to his lips before turning the camera so the both of you were in the frame. You wrapped your arms around each other, his arm that was not holding the camera coming to rest across your shoulders. You reached one hand up to grab his hand that rested on your shoulder, while your other hand went to the back of his neck, your fingers lazily playing with the soft brown hair that you loved so much.

The two of you smiled at the camera for a moment, listening to the river lazily flowing as the sun set behind you and the crisp autumn air blew through your hair. Younghyun turned to look at you, his eyes scanning over your features, smiling lazily as you turned to meet his gaze. 

“What?”

“Nothin’. I just love you.”

You grinned as you bounced on your tippy toes to leave a quick gentle kiss on the tip of his nose. “Really?”

He shifted his arm that rested across your shoulders downwards so it wrapped around your waist, his hand playing with a loose string at the bottom of your sweater. “Yeah…You know, I can’t imagine living without you.”

You blushed and buried your face into his shoulder, his hand tightening around your waist. “Younghyun, you can’t just say things like that.”

He grinned and pressed his lips to the top of your head, “It’s true, though. I’m gonna love you till the day I die.”

You pulled away briefly to look up at his face, which was smiling warmly down at you, his eyes filled with nothing but fondness as they met your own. You narrowed your eyes at him, looking up at the camera and back to him.

“...You’re not about to propose to me are you?”

He let out a laugh before bringing you in closer, pressing another kiss to the top of your head before burying his face into your hair. “No, not yet. It’s coming, though.”

You looked up at him again, the look of love on his face told you that he was telling the truth. “I’ll be waiting.”

You didn’t feel the tears that had been cascading down your cheeks until the video had ended. You hated him. You resented him. You never wanted to see him again. So why were you crying? Was it because you wasted six years of your life? Was it because you felt lied to? Why were you wasting your time crying over a man that didn’t love you? Over a relationship that was never meant to be? Why did it hurt so much?

You hated him. You hated him. You hated him.

But as your tears started falling harder and soft sobs escaped your mouth, you knew the truth. You didn’t hate him. You never hated him. You loved him. You knew deep in your heart, that you really did love him. You loved him so badly, it made you hate him all that much more. No matter how many times you tried to erase him from your memory, or how many times you tried to forget the love that he gave, or the time you spent with him, you knew you never could. Because you loved him. And deep down, you always would.