#bi testing tools

[icedq-toranainc]

Automate BI Report - Business Intelligence Testing Tool

Testing BI systems is challenging, the typical approach is to verify calculations on the reports themselves to the data in the database/data warehouse. Read more about BI testing, Report Testing & Dashboard Testing, and know how to automate BI testing with iCEDQ tool.  Visit: https://bit.ly/3JNA48y

[ren-is-real]

Inanimate Insanity dash simulator (pre ep 16) (i will do more of this if this goes well probably)

🪁 inanimateinsanityfan Follow

does anyone ever get so tired they start seeing spiders lol

💼 su1tcas3 Follow

me when i lay down and hallucinate the horrors lmfao

🪁 inanimateinsanityfan Follow

what

💼 su1tcas3 Follow

Oh so this is not a safe place suddenly

2,369 notes

🪁 inanimateinsanityfan Follow

as an unbiased outsider im cheering for them both ^^ im so excited for the finale!!!!!!!!!!!

#idk what i'll do when this ends tbh #like damn. #we'll cross that bridge when we get to it!!

19 notes

💡 brightestlight Follow

any couple can be gay if they are bisexual and their genders are weird enough

🪁 inanimateinsanityfan Follow

why did you post this directly after talking to me and test tube

🪁 inanimateinsanityfan Follow

lightbulb why did y

11 notes

🎤 mic-row-phoen Follow

when you want to ask someone about something but the trek is IMPOSSIBLE and you will DIE (hes downstairs setting up a party im just scared)

🍊 orange-got-juiced Follow

i am not giving you the aux to play green day at the party

🎤 mic-row-phoen Follow

:(

🍊 orange-got-juiced Follow

ok. two songs

19 notes

🎀 rain-bowz Follow

when a fake girl tryna act like me but im the only one there is

⚙️ rowbotted Follow

REAL!!!!!

🎀 rain-bowz Follow

who are you.

📄pageperrr Follow

hey didnt you die. or something

23 notes

🌮absolutleynot-taco Follow

hey anyone know where pickle is haha. anyone know his room number or amything lol like it would justs be fun to know,,, hagaha,,,, yeagh

0 notes

🏆awinners-trophy Follow

imagine using a run down website that hasnt been relevant in YEARS. you all need to get off and go touch some grass or something jfc

🔪sharpest-tool-inthe-shed Follow

you're literally using it?

🏆awinners-trophy Follow

kill yourself

#you used to be cool man

19 notes

🎈coldairballoon Follow

i drew some vent art about old stuff.. im better now!! im just letting off some steam haha

🏆awinners-trophy Follow

this is so cringe

🎈coldairballoon Follow

you're cringe.

🍊 orange-got-juiced Follow

trophy just ran to the bathroom sobbing

27 notes

🌽 official-meeple-ceo Follow

greetings tumbler! i an steve cobs, C.E.O of the meeple company. i am looking to get in contact with a mephone! specifically mephone 4. (model 4s) any help is greatly appreciated!

🖌️ brushedpaint Follow

go back to twitter vro 💀

817 notes

⚾ thegrandslammer Follow

trying a healthier outlook on life!! i'll tell yall how it goes!!

⚾ thegrandslammer Follow

failed

⚾ thegrandslammer Follow

failed

⚾ thegrandslammer Follow

failed

8,270 notes

🪁 inanimateinsanityfan Follow

i miss egg :( i wonder where the other one the aliens mentioned went. i hope it found a parent that loves it as much as i loved egg. i mean i wasnt the best parent but uh you get what i mean

🌽 official-meeple-ceo Follow

😜

🪁 inanimateinsanityfan Follow

???????

🪁 inanimateinsanityfan Follow

??????????what??????????

#why is steve cobs on tumblr get off

15 notes

🕯 innerflamed Follow

i need a boyfriend except he's not a boyfriend and is just some weird british guy i drag around with me everywhere

1,393 notes

🍀fourleafluck Follow

diversity win!! corrupt capitalist CEO of multimillion dollar company steve cobs is bisexual!

🌽 official-meeple-ceo Follow

who informed you of this.

🍀fourleafluck Follow

I WAS??? JOKING??????

#GUYS??? #STEVE COBS GAY ICON??? #HOLY SHIT #IM SCREAMING ITS HIS OFFICIAL ACCOUNT ITS NOT A GIMMIC #meeple

23,105 notes

💡 brightestlight Follow

as a member of the lgbt we do not accept steve cobs

💡 brightestlight Follow

even when he changes the meeple logo to a rainbow during pride month we dont accept him

21 notes

☯ ringinginthenewyear Follow

☯ ringinginthenewyear Follow

just to clarify yang posted this not me -yin

57 notes

🥒 pickledposting Follow

steve cobs being bi and accidentally admitting to it on tumblr was not on my 2024 bingo card ???????

🌽 official-meeple-ceo Follow

you'll be first.

🥒 pickledposting Follow

what

29 notes

[acornminiatureslog]

Techpriest Enginseer Bi-Δ Veltrok, the second most regular member of Inquisitor Wrex's retinue, she oversees the maintenance and upkeep of the many relics in the retinue's service. Often only absent when recalled to report on specific activity, deliver relics on behalf of the inquisition, or receive additional training in ancient machine rites.

She relishes every time she gets to partake in field work, particularly in stress testing xenos defenses against the technologies of the imperium. The many augments she has received in her time under inquisitorial service are far in excess of what an enginseer would normally sport, allowed only citing that she needs proper tools to represent the mechanicus' good name. In truth, many of her newer augments are battlefield salvage the magos would frown on, especially her left arm, liberated from a xenarite magos executed by the Inquisitor for aiding an ork incursion in the name of research.

[finallysignedupforthis]

MK1 Tomas headcannon

Tomas has sharp teeth. Not fangs necessarily, but they're pretty sharp.

It was a normal thing in his family, they all took pride in it. They were hunters, they should have sharp teeth. Ever photo had full smiles with teeth.

This also means, Tomas is a bitter.

Whether it was a play fight with his sister, training with his parents or an actual hunt, Tomas would bite. He was aloud to. It was a tool, just as useful as a blade or his own hands.

When he was taken in by Lin kuei, he would either be quiet and still, or screeching and biting. He's left teeth marks on serval older members, much to their dismay and the old grandmasters joy. He could always make a joke out of anything, it helped Tomas feel at ease.

Both Bi-han and Kuai were invested in Tomas's bites. He stopped biting so often as he got older, but the marks and rumors stayed.

Both asked him to bite them, a playful test of strength on Kuai's end, and Tomas refused. He didn't want to risk hurting either of them.

One night though, after a long day of training, Bi-han came to Tomas' room. Tomas was about 15 at the time, Bi-han was 17. And it started normal enough, a question of how training went, a few little jokes but Tomas couldn't feel comfortable under Bi-han's gaze. Then Bi-han asked him to bite him.

Tomas horrified, refused. Bi-han insisted, offering his arm. They went back and forth and Bi-han started shoving Tomas. Bi-han wanted Tomas mad, and Tomas knew.

It broke out into a full fight, mostly grapling. It reached its fever-pitch when Bi-han had Tomas pinned on the floor, completely laying his weight on Tomas so he couldn't move. Scared and angry, Tomas latched onto Bi-han's neck and bit down hard.

Bi-han yelled, practically screamed, and tried to stand up. Pushing Tomas off of him, but he wouldn't let go. Tomas only de-latched when Bi-han was on his back and quietly mubled "Tomas...it hurts".

He jumped off immediately, backing up the wall and stared at his brother. All his senses where filled with blood and regrett. "I... by the gods I'm so sorry Bi-han". He wanted to comfort him, to help clean the wound, but he was frozen in place.

He expected yelling, a beating, anything really. But Bi-han just sat there, hair a mess, holding his neck and breathing heavily as he stared at Tomas. They stayed like that for a few minutes until the strangest thing happened.

Tomas who had been crying silently watched as Bi-han's face changed. It went from a state of confusion and possible fear, to a smile. A smile Bi-han only wore when he had won a fight that ended in broken bones and bloodied faces. He walked over to Tomas and patted his head.

"You were right to not bite Kuai Liang. He wouldn't be able to take it. Sleep well"

He got up and left. Leaving Tomas confused. All he could do was wash off and get into bed. He kept thinking of the way Bi-han's hand felt on his head.

Unbeknownst to Tomas, Bi-han was filled with nothing but pride as he went to clean his new wound. He hummed,almost, as he treated it. He felt he had a better understanding of Tomas, knowing he could actually hold his own. It's a mark he almost treasures.

[usaigi]

Modern Blue Lions headcanons

Dimitri

Has difficulties with fine motor skills following the car accident that killed his family and Glenn. Has to use accommodating tools like specific silverware and a laptop to take notes in class. Kids used to be jealous that he got use a laptop in class but he just wanted to be normal

Regular member of his school GSA but everyone assume he's just a straight ally because look at him. Look at his hair. He's straight. His classmates don't discover he's actually bi until a week before graduation when they see him kiss Felix

Also a regular member of the BIPOC solidarity club. Dimitri, Dorothea, Ashe and Constance are the token white allies.

(mental health spiraling) "haha puberty/hormones :) No need to discuss these new symptoms with anyone, it's just normal teenager things" (it is not normal teenage things)

Annette

banned from home ec after starting a fire while making a salad... She's was trying to make homemade croutons...

girl ADHD :)

she got a B on a chem test one and cried about it for 2 days straight

"Maybe if I get all A and get this many awards and get this many scholarships, my dad will love me :)" (girl.. :( )

Frenemies with Lysithea. They're buddies until it's time for exams. Then it's war. There can only be one valedictorian. (death note's "I'll take a potato chip and eat it" songs plays in the background)

Olivia Rodrigo stan

Sylvain

Hasn't said "okay i'm sorry that I looked at Mrs Riley and lightly grazed her left tit" but has said that exact same thing

friend with a car. "yeah we can all fit into my Audi; Annette and Ashe are tiny, just squeeze in and pretend you like each other. We can stick Felix in the trunk" "I'll kill you."

He's in Lacross AND theatre. Ice hockey AND Ice dancing and figure skating. He can do both, he's bisexual

Has to pick between a major sport game and his theatre show. His dad wants him to follow his dream and do the game but Sylvain is getting ready to tell him "no dad i'm giving up your dream." He backs out. He goes to the game.

"You got a perfect score on the college entrance exams?" "Why is it hard?" (he studied so much)

Ingrid

"Gay people are real??? They don't just exist in San Francisco and on Glee???" /gen confusion. Not in a homophobic way, she's just raised in a conservative environment and instead of going on the internet, she hangs out with her horses (Just wait till she finds out about trans people)

When her family was going through a particularly hard financial time, her friends started packing extra lunch. They all know she doesn't accept handouts but Ingrid will never say no to leftovers.

So chronically offline. Who's Billie Eilish? What's Succession? What is Rizz?? They're making another Spider-Man movie!?

Dedue

Vice-president of the BIPOC solidarity club. The school gives them club money and he uses it to make food for the members.

"..." "Go on" "Down with... gringo?" *Claude, Petra, Felix, Cyril, Hapi, Constance, Dimitri, Ashe and Dorothea all clap*

Football/Basketball/Hockey couches keep trying to recruit him. He just wants to garden.

(Tw racism and ref to violence to poc men) "I don't want to antagonist white people. As a large brown man, I'm already perceived as a threat." "That's ok! Your safety comes first. I got this," Dorothea says as she throws eggs at someone's car with a confederate flag.

Mercedes

"I'm joining the war on liberation theology on the side of liberation theology."

"Mercedes! Can you explain your tardiness?" "Forgive me, professor, I was at morning mass." (She was. But she's late because she stop to smoke a blunt.)

In her most angelic, big sister voice, "fuck TradCaths 😊"

Somehow still failing her religious studies class

(tw cults and implied anti semitic conspiracy) Raised in a religious cult where her step dad was the leader until she and her mom escaped. Because of this, did not know Jewish people were real. "I knew they were people in the bible but all I knew was [redact]" (Don't worry, she knows better now that she's not in a literal cult)

Felix

"I fucking hate my dad" "why? Is it cause he didn't accept you being queer/trans?" "No, he was cool with that. He's just fucking annoying."

"Ingrid, what the hell, I'm literally trans. You know this. We've been friends since we were in diapers." "Oh. I forgot." "YOU FORGOT!?"

Wasian. (tw sui joke) @ Dimitri and Sylvain "stop joking about killing yourself--you're appropriating my culture, assholes."

Secret Olivia Rodrigo fan. He only listens to her music on youtube + incognito mode. Only Annette knows. Annette manages to get them concert tickets were they run into Lysithea.

Ashe

Spider-Man stan on main. Somehow he convinces Dedue to be his Ned Leeds to his Peter Parker for Halloween

He knows Ingrid would like the MCU if she watched it, but she's scared of needing to watch 10000 movies

*slaps Ashe's back* You can pack so much anxiety in this guy

Started school in the middle of the year because he's a foster kid. Rumors started spread about him being a harden criminal because he went to juvie. He keeps tries to correct them and say he's never been but Caspar keeps fueling the rumors

"Caspar! Stop telling people I went to juvie! That never happened!" "...You... lied to me? :(" "You made it up!" "Oooh. Right."

[larkral]

Hello!! Thanks for the tags @hushed-chorus, @bookish-bogwitch, @cosmicalart, @j-nipper-95, @forabeatofadrum, @orange-peony, @ileadacharmedlife and @aroace-genderfluid-sheep! So fun to see what everyone is working on!

I've been doing some tests for audio for my @caught-on-tape-fest, which has been difficult because my children have been home sick almost every day this week. Anyway, got a first roll of a fic and learned a lot, like: I'm definitely not going to be trying a British accent (comes out half-Australian, I blame Bluey), I need a working doc so that I can highlight different characters dialogue in different colors to allow for different pacing and emphasis, and I need to talk slower. 

That said, I am excited and it's fun. Haven't yet done any editing but I have done that before and I feel pretty sure I'll be able to manage. 

Also this week I wrote some Simon's Two Mums and some of one of my CORB pieces. Sentences from both below!

My CORB piece, draft titled mechanic!Simon:

One of my foster families had three cars up on blocks in the backgarden. Kitty said she collected kids and Jules collected cars. It worked for them. Worked for me too. Kitty wasn't my biggest fan, but Jules didn't mind a quiet pair of eyes watching him, tools being passed his way when he reached for them. He didn't talk a lot either, but when he bought the Mini ('74) he patted the hood and said, "Happy Birthday, Simon."

Simon's two mums (draft titled normal!Simon even though he's reallllly not) also this is 8 sentences. Ah well:

Baz uses words like purview. I can barely get my lips around them. Why the crucible thought that he and I would be good as roommates, I don't know.  But I do like him. And he likes Penny. And Penny likes me. So it works out, even if it does kind of suck to be the in-between friend.  Not that Keris and Penny are better suited as roommates than Baz and me.

One thing that's helping me to work on these two pieces in tandem is that they're both stories where the WOM timeline doesn't happen the way it does in canon, so I get to be really generative in thinking about what the actual universe of CO is like, and what the social and political dynamics would be like if the events that happen canonically hadn't happened. Fun! Difficult! My jam.

Tag/hellos under the cut. :)

Tagging @stitchyqueer @thewholelemon @confused-bi-queer @raenestee @facewithoutheart @cutestkilla @sillyunicorn @you-remind-me-of-the-babe @basiltonbutliketheherb @asocialpessimist @aristocratic-otter @captain-aralias @petedavidsonscock @takitalks @artsyunderstudy @yeonjunenby @carryonvisinata @takenabackbytuesdays @martsonmars @nausikaaa @nightimedreamersghost @chen-chen-chen-again-chen @ionlydrinkhotwater @shrekgogurt @palimpsessed @fatalfangirl​ @blackberrysummerblog​ @valeffelees @imagineacoolusername @whogaveyoupermission @wellbelesbian @rimeswithpurple

[steamberrystudio]

13/08/2023 Devlog

Hallo! It is time for the bi-weekly Tumblr update once again

Summary:

Sprite art finished and imported (all sprites are now in the game)

All CG art completed

50% of CGs coded

The Ramble:

So here is the quick ramble for Gilded Shadows.

I finished all the remaining sprite art and got that imported into the game. 

And I finished all the CG art. I have not finished coding the CGs as some of them take a bit longer due to Morgan. So I have a few more of those left to do.

I really did not expect to be finished with the CGs by this point but somehow managed to finish them by the end of Friday without killing my hand.

I've definitely been...uh...feeling it the past couple of days though. Ha ha. 

Fortunately the art is done now so my hand will have plenty of time to rest through beta testing! 

Upcoming Weeks:

Beta testing! 

I have a few more things to wrap up, including coding the rest of the CGs and then Yuu's route will move into the beta testing stage which will last a few weeks; but I'm not sure how long.

So yeah. We're nearly to the final release for Gilded Shadows. 

Even after release, I still have some KS related loose ends to tie up but the game is kind of the main thing to complete and we are nearly there.

=o

Anyway, that's all for now on Gilded Shadows. By next update we should be mid-beta testing and I'll probably be working on some of the KS loose ends while waiting for feedback.

When Stars Collide:

For those following updates on this project:

I have received one new background since last time and a new sketch.

I have also done a fair bit of writing but since this is just my side project I've actually been tracking my word count progress a little less meticulously than usual. I don't know how many words it was at my last update so I don't know how much progress I've made since then. LoL!

I have one more short scene for Yren chapter 5 left but I also worked on the new chapter 3, which I had planned out but not started last time. So it looks like I wrote right at 10,000 words based on how long the scenes I know I wrote are. 💪

I also wrote Kav's first actual scene and appearance (well, it's part of the new chapter 3, not a separate scene.)

I've done a few other small things - worked on potentially re-designing the flowchart screens, changed up some character lore for a few characters. Changed a few character name spellings too (there are reasons for this; it wasn't just a whim. LoL)

And a few other minor things.

I also improved my WSC word count spreadsheet.

Keeping a detailed spreadsheet of my progress - including a specific goal system and progress tracker really helps keep me focused so that my forward momentum stays at a steady pace.

I'm not a naturally organised person - in fact, my natural state as a writer is quite chaotic and disorganised. But I have learned during Changeling that chaos does not serve me well in the development process and that I do better if I make myself use organisational tools to stay on track.

I haven't been meticulous with writing spreadsheets for WSC since it has been my side project until now. But as GS wraps up, it will become more of my focus so I want to be sure I have the tools in place to stay focused.

Hence...better spreadsheets. 💪💪

Side note. But did you lens flares are actually required when something is set in space? That is how you know it's sci-fi.

I don't make the rules.

[bepisbee]

Till Death do us Part ch 5

CHAPTERS

read on a03

Arsonit's lullabye

[When I was a man I thought it ended

When I knew love's perfect ache,

But my peace has always depended

On all the ashes in my wake.

All you have is your fire,

And the place you need to reach,

Don't you ever tame your demons,

But always keep them on a leash.]

Chapter Text

That weekend he did his next test. He found a lone cave, just deep enough that the guards would likely not check it if they came across it. Vio placed a large bag down he was carrying. He set up torches along the walls to see better and began sketching out a design on the floor with chalk. He pulled out a flask of goat’s blood he had received from the butcher under the pretense of a recipe. Apparently people enjoyed something called a blood pudding. Vio winced, of all things to gross him out it was pudding? He shrugged and painted the sketched design with the animal blood. He placed candles around and lit them, the scent of sage and herbs filled the space. Around several points of the design he placed various live tributes. Nightshade, some plants, roots attached, a bowl of blackberry jam as a gift to the Goddess of Night and Darkness, Veran, and a live rabbit. He placed the run-over feline in the middle.

Vio took a deep breath, holding down the rabbit by its scruff and began. Lorulian spilled from his mouth, the magic coursing through it. The candles and torches that lit the cave turned an eerie purple in color bathing the cave in a deep set glow. It reflected the purple Vio’s eyes turned, and the air filled with what felt like anticipation. Someone waiting for something to happen, the feeling of being watched.

He continued, and at the correct point, he placed a very sharp dagger against the rabbit. He had made it himself, small but ornate. The hilt contained on one side a bloodstone, and an onyx on the other. He slit the animal’s throat and let the blood pour onto the circle, where it sucked itself into the long dead cat. Purple magic wisps circled around him and through him and from the objects in the circle sucking them until they were dry and dead and into the cat. ABove him, while concentrating he did notice the bowl slowly empty. He was not alone.

The cat shook and arched its back. It took a big yawn as if waking from simply a nap. It was healed. Its black fur coat seemed brand new, no matting, no blood, no bones sticking out anymore. It looked at him as he finished the incantation. The flames around him went out, and relit as typical orange fire. The cat came up, and rubbed its face on his leg in a friendly manner.

He did it.

Vio looked up, the feeling of being watched still creeping at the back of his neck.

He did it, and the bowl was empty.

By the time next Tuesday had rolled around, somehow a small meal with Red turned into a family like dinner. But first, they were building a garden. Vio hadn’t been expecting all three of them to turn up at daylight with two horses carrying a cart of supplies. Yet here they were.

The biggest surprise for them was the sudden appearance of a black cat. It seemed to watch them with curious and intelligent eyes. Vio hadn’t realized at first, but he had made himself a familiar. Of course it had to be a black cat of all creatures. How Stereotypical. The cat was sitting like a loaf on the back of bis horse, Orvar.

Vio had on his special front chaps, with the horse’s leg bent and hoof wedged gently between his knees. He was cleaning up her hooves, just finishing replacing the shoe when they rolled up. He might not be the best blacksmith out of them, but he cares for her as he should. Thankfully Orvar was very calm, and used to his group’s presence.

“Hey,” Vio greeted, surprised at them. He had on casual working clothes, tools attached to a belt and his hair up. His braid swirled into a bun stuck with pins and a black and purple stick. “What are you guys doing here?” He patted her hide in affection before walking over. The cat stared openly.

“We’re building you a garden!” Green announced, grinning brightly. “Looks like you’re already ready to go,” he clapped Vio on the back, making him jump. What was with the contact lately?? “I made up the plans-”

“I helped!” Blue interjected, hopping off a horse with a swish of her skirt. It was pretty, but short enough to be able to work without excess heat or getting in the way.

“And we got some wood for borders, a compost bin, and signs if you want - Red’s idea to paint signs with him- and gardening shit.”

Vio opened and closed his mouth over again.

“Don’t worry about paying back or anything, knowing you’re taking care of yourself is enough payback.” Green came over to help them start removing the parts and bits.

“I don- that…”

“You’re welcome. Now get your ass over here, and help.”

Vio took off the hoof apron and assisted. Loads of wood, nails, and other supplies were unloaded.

“Oh,” Vio paused, looking at Green to address him. “Green earrings for he/him, right?” he clarified, he wanted to be sure. Green brightened considerably.

“You remembered! Yeah,” he passed over a hammer and nail set. Blue laid out the written plans on a small table Vio had out there, holding down the curling corners with rocks. Vio looked around, but found Red had snuck into his kitchen. He nodded and stepped over to look at the plan.

It was a great one, he had to admit. Green had one hell of an eye for architecture and carpentry. They were clearing the fallen leaves from the area. Vio followed their blueprints and started digging the outline for the borders. He thought as he worked. Maybe he could find a way to enchant the edges to deflect wild animals? It was easy enough to make spell runes or sigils. A small fence might be enough, but maybe not for deer. He could plant mint in pots near the edges so the mice and rodents would stay away.

“What are you thinking about so hard over there?” Blue nudged him, making him startle.

“Oh! ahem.” he verbalized his thought process to her verbatim.

“Why potted? You could just make a border of it in the grass.”

“Mint roots are invasive and will kill off anything it’s near.” she nodded in understanding. “I’ve made a rough draft of what I would plant and where. We could go over it later?”

“Sure thing,”

The cat now watched them all from the table chair, unblinking. It had a strange vibe about it.

Red came out with some water glasses to make them hydrate. They all worked through most of the day until it was finished. He had a new beautiful garden. Vio was grateful, but as the day grew on with random touches and pats and compliments he grew more and more suspicious.

Why now? What changed? Did Zelda tell them they had to do this?

Vio was at least glad he had taken the time last night to put away his research materials. He didn’t want more questions than necessary.

It was when they were cleaning up, Vio realized some of their motives. As he washed up plates.

“So,” Blue started, “I noticed earlier when we were working a necklace fell out of your shirt?” her suspicions were upheld as that made Vio freeze mid-wipe. “What’s with the rings? I’ve never seen you wear any before.” Vio wasn’t sure what to say. He was mentally cursing, he had thought they hadn't seen them! Shit-shit- it's been too long! Say something!

“Uhm.” He couldn’t deny they existed, if Blue saw them Green did too and Red already knew they were there! “They are a token, supposedly to help encourage magic flow. They haven’t seemed to work so far, though.” His lie tasted bitter and it was obvious with the way the air tasted stale all of the sudden.

“On a necklace?” She snorted. “That isn’t how rings work.” Vio couldn’t tell if she bought it, but Red did not and Green seemed worried. He put the plate down.

“What are they really for?” Red frowned. That was a bad sign, when Red frowned.

“If I didn’t know better I’d say it looked like engagement rings.” Green added.

It felt like Shadow was there, whispering in his ear,

“Till death do us part.”

Vio’s throat felt like a huge lump was in it, unable to speak. Oh no, he thought, not now. Tunnel vision swam into his eyes, darkening the edges of his vision.

“Vio??” Red stood up as his breathing pitched into hyperventilation. His voice sounded distorted and muffled. Panicking about not having a panic attack was making it worse!

When he was aware again he was sitting on the floor, clutching the rings in his hand.

“That’s it,” Blue was sitting in front of him, the other two giving him space but equally concerned. “Breathe, V. You’re okay.” He scrambled up, grabbing the counter edge.

“Shit.”

“Hey you’re okay now. What was that?”

“Please leave.” He managed, voice gravely and stressed. “You need to go.” He held the rings like his life depended on it. Red and Green shared a look. “Is that why you even came here?? So I'd feel indebted to you and talk!?” He assumed the worst always.

“What!?” Green protested, “No! We-”

“So Zelda didn’t push you to see me?” The guilty face was all he needed to see. “You think I couldn’t tell the difference in your behavior? You don’t just do things for me! You ever talk to me, or touch me, or be nice! You never have, since we even split!” The poor boy sounded so torn. “Get out!”

“No it isn’t like that- Vio- !”

The trinkets on the wall and the mugs shook. An ominous feeling flooded the room. The temperature dropped significantly.

“Get out.”

Red left first, a terrified look on his face. He was always more sensitive to magic and aura than anyone else. And this felt wrong, bad, and like he wanted to throw up. Frost edged on the windows and they started to see their breath. They slowly stepped backwards, hands up.

The door shut on them and locked as they stepped out, despite that Vio was still across the house in the kitchen. The candles all flared purple before going out, inside and out of tbe house. Bathed in darkness, he fell to the floor crumpled. All energy sapped out, leaving him feeling hollow. The bags under his eyes never felt heavier. The black cat padded over and sat in his lap with a tiny meow. The windows iced over completely.

“... Till death do us part, huh?” He put a hand on her head and scritched. “Not for long, love. Not for long.”

[failing-to-write-again]

@lilithram a most excellent idea.

Vampire Defense Test 2.0 - Camouflage

Shu Sakamaki

Giggles slowly came into earshot as Shu lazed in one of the mansion's many foyers. Refusing to acknowledge them Shu's eyes remained shut and his earphones continued to play some symphony lowly in his ears. The smell soon followed, sweet and far too comforting for his liking, becoming more and more pungent as the source of the giggle's approached.

Shu then opened an eye. Like a fool, a poor poor fool.

Your outfit was certainly something he'd give you that. You had taken the time to stick cardboard to yourself creating a complex geometric pattern. Many right angles up in his face sending his eyes spinning like marbles for a few seconds. Your laughing ever present in the background.

Until his eyes snapped back to normal as his eyes finally pushed his focus past the shapes and on your very much less angular face.

"I know how dead I am but can you really blame me?" The only response you received was the characteristic dead eyed glare of the blonde. Slowly retreating as he begins to move to sit up you don't get far before a cold hand locks around your arm.

A scream barely escapes before you're in the vampire's lap and your cardboard insult was thrown to the far corner of the room. Sitting there stunned out of the corner of your eye you see Shu staring. Weirdly staring, not in the same creepy predatory stare you're used to but instead more just a look. He didn't even have you straddle him like he normally does when he deems a dose of teasing in order to balance the scales. Then, gently this time, you feel arms pull you to your side laying with your back to Shu on the sofa.

"Shu what are you doing?-"

"Hush."

Reiji Sakamaki

Reiji really had to stop this, you were becoming an incredibly effective distraction. It was your scent, or your taste, or maybe the feeling he had after drinking from you? He couldn't be bothered to pin point it right now though, not when he had you mere inches from his fangs.

His eyes scanned your face before your hand pined by his, caught his eye. A doodle of some sort covered your palm with squares within squares. A headache began forming as your eyes widened in surprise and alarm. Breathe stopping as chills ran down your spine.

"While this was not planned on my part, you really had to spot it now rather than when we were apart and I had time to run?" Nervous sarcasm could lessen the blow surely.

Reiji was simply smirking while staring down at the woman. Eyes having forced the hand to the background of his vision. Once his focus was back to your face the headache subsided considerably. Face nearing once again towards you as you gazed up at him with an expression that told of little else but almost boredom.

"Well it seems your little trick will not be as viable a tool as you suspect." Was all you could hear in that moment. Low baritone words while being surrounded by what felt like all sides by the thing holding you in place. The gentle biting sensation in your neck was both, in equal ways, welcome and worrying.

Ayato Sakamaki

You were really starting to get on his nerves. Anytime he pops up you and your fucking eye scrambling paddle. Pulling it up and running the second his daze got fuzzy. The worst part was that when he wasn't looking for a drink you were joking with him and acting normal.

Reaching his limit and storming into you room after weeks of this treatment. So focused on finally having you there, the paddle was left sticking in the wall somewhere and you were left defenseless with a very hungry vampire across from you.

"I can't keep not drinking anything Sparks," coming out as a whisper so close to a breathe.

"But, why aren't you... you have options." Words spoken to air for all the response you got. A head thumping on your shoulder with your speech being jumbled in between soft tufts of red hair.

Cold hands awkwardly raise until resting on your hips, hesitation oozing from you both. An inhale. An exhale. A bite.

[techniktagebuch]

12. Februar 2024

Wir werden also 5300 Bildbeschreibungen schreiben müssen

Bei der Vorbereitung der diesjährigen Techniktagebuch-als-Buch-Ausgabe zähle ich zum ersten Mal durch: Das Techniktagebuch enthält rund 5600 Bilder. Davon haben 300 eine Bildbeschreibung, die von Screenreadern vorgelesen werden kann. Bei 4700 steht im alt-Tag nur "image" und bei den dann noch fehlenden 600 vermutlich nicht mal das.

Ich habe so was Ähnliches erwartet, denn in den ersten sieben bis acht Jahren des Techniktagebuchs haben wir uns fast gar nicht um Bildbeschreibungstexte gekümmert. Schwache Entschuldigung: Der alte Tumblr-Editor machte einem das nicht so leicht, man musste die Bildbeschreibungen von Hand in der HTML-Ansicht des Beitrags einbauen. Wenn etwas so umständlich ist, suggeriert das auch, dass es eh nicht so wichtig sein kann. Aber eigentlich hätten wir es besser wissen müssen.

Ich weiß nicht, was bei den anderen Autor*innen des Techniktagebuchs die Gründe waren. Ich selbst bin vor allem deshalb nicht früher auf die Idee gekommen, weil ich erst seit wenigen Jahren selbst (früher bei Twitter, jetzt bei Mastodon) oft Bildbeschreibungen sehe. Dabei habe ich gemerkt, dass es erstens viele Menschen gibt, die sie sich wünschen und man sie zweitens auch als sehender Mensch gut brauchen kann, zum Beispiel wenn ich nicht verstehe, was auf einem Bild zu sehen ist. Oder wenn der Text auf einem Bild in der Ansicht auf dem Handy unlesbar klein ist (so wie in den Screenshots in diesem Beitrag hier). Oder wenn ich Hintergrundinformationen brauche, weil ich wegen meiner Prosopagnosie oder aus Ahnungslosigkeit abgebildete Personen nicht erkenne. Oder wenn ich mit dem Zug durch eine Funklochregion fahre und statt der Bilder nur die Bildbeschreibungen zu sehen bekomme.

Ich habe mit einem ungünstigen Verhältnis von Beschreibung zu Keine-Beschreibung gerechnet, aber dass dem Techniktagebuch so viele Beschreibungstexte fehlen, überrascht mich doch. Und es bedeutet, dass es sehr lange dauern wird, die Bildbeschreibungen nachträglich einzubauen. Da die Beiträge, die im alten Tumblr-Editor (vor 2023) geschrieben wurden, nur in diesem Editor bearbeitet werden können, heißt das, dass wir dazu jeden Beitrag öffnen, in die HTML-Ansicht umschalten und das alt-Tag mit der Bildbeschreibung an der richtigen Stelle einfügen müssen. Während man das Bild dann beschreibt, kann man es nicht sehen. Das ist im neuen Tumblr-Editor sogar genauso, denn da überlagert das Eingabefeld unpraktischerweise das Bild. Man braucht also in jedem Fall einen Second Screen, auf dem das Bild zu sehen ist. Ich mache das mit dem Handy.

Wegen dieser Umständlichkeit, und weil in letzter Zeit überall von großen Fortschritten in der Bildbeschreibung mit Hilfe von Bildanalyse und großen Sprachmodellen zu lesen ist, probiere ich heute mehrere Tools aus, mit denen das angeblich automatisch geht. Ich habe nicht aufwändig recherchiert, welche man da nimmt, es sind einfach die ersten paar Googletreffer zu dem Thema.

Ich teste mit dem als Letztes im Techniktagebuch verwendeten Bild aus diesem Beitrag von Oliver Laumann.

Oliver hat dazu die folgende Bildbeschreibung verfasst:

"Vierfarbkugelschreiber in Originalverpackung, Rückseite einer Postkarte mit dem Text 'Ich hab die Originalminen dringelassen, weil Original, aber hier sind neue. Grüße, Kathrin', kleiner Zip-Lock-Beutel mit vier verschiedenfarbigen Kugelschreiberminen".

Es ist sicher nicht ganz einfach, dieses Bild hilfreich und korrekt zu beschreiben, wenn man nicht Oliver Laumann ist, sondern eine Maschine. Aber die Schwierigkeit der Aufgabe scheint mir einigermaßen repräsentativ für die übrigen Bilder im Techniktagebuch.

Beim "Free AI Image Alt Text Generator" kann ich zwischen mehreren Sprachen auswählen:

Außerdem gibt es verschiedene Beschreibungsstile:

Ich wähle "Casual". Das Ergebnis ist wenig hilfreich:

Im Stil "Academic" wird es nicht besser:

Auch die anderen Beschreibungsstile führen nur zu minimalen Variationen von "Irgendwas mit Farbstiften, perfekt für kreative Projekte!"

Der "AI Alt Text Generator" bietet mir in der Testversion keine Sprachauswahl an und schlägt vor: "A package of colored pencils with a note on it." Immerhin ist die handschriftliche Notiz hier erkannt worden. Zum Verständnis des Beitrags trägt die Beschreibung aber nichts bei.

Der "Alt Text Generator" meint: "a box of pens and a package of paper".

Einige andere Tools verwenden offenbar intern die gleiche Technik und sagen ebenfalls "a box of pens and a package of paper".

Ich halte es für möglich, dass es kostenpflichtige Angebote gibt, die bessere Bildbeschreibungen erzeugen, finde aber im Rahmen meiner Suchgeduld nicht zu einer Möglichkeit, das gratis auszuprobieren. Und ich habe keine Lust, erst einen Testaccount anzulegen, nur um dann herauszufinden, dass die es auch nicht können.

Vielleicht sind Bildbeschreibungen nur eine Brückentechnologie, und bald werden Screenreader die Bilder selbst erkennen und beschreiben können. Hier denke ich mal einen Gedanken, denn ich eher selten denke, nämlich: Bildbeschreibung von einem Menschen, bevorzugt einem mit Wissen über das Bild, das nicht im Bild enthalten ist, wird immer besser bleiben als automatisch erzeugte Beschreibung. Gleichzeitig misstraue ich diesem Gedanken aus Prinzip, weil "Irgendeine Technik wird irgendwas niemals so gut können wie ein Mensch" eine Aussage ist, mit der man historisch oft unrecht hat. Zusammengefasst: Ich habe keine Ahnung. Aber diese Ahnungslosigkeit von 2024 ist hiermit festgehalten.

Jedenfalls werden wir 5600 Beschreibungen selbst ausdenken und einbauen müssen. Das klappt für die diesjährige Buchausgabe nicht mehr. Aber das Techniktagebuch ist ja ein Langzeitprojekt.

(Kathrin Passig)

[ewrthings-race-repair-repeat]

The Rolls-Royce Black Badge Ghost Ékleipsis Private Collection is a limited edition (25 world wide) that has been inspired by the seldom-seen wonder of a solar eclipse (the awe-inspiring moment when the Moon completely obscures the Sun).  

EXTERIOR: GOLDEN DARKNESS The mysterious, ethereal light cast by a total solar eclipse is captured in the Lyrical Copper exterior colour of the motor car. This stunning Bespoke finish incorporates powdered copper pigment, which appears darker until it catches the light when it produces a rich and dramatic iridescence. Mandarin adorns the inserts below the Pantheon Grille and brake callipers, recalling the intense pulses of sunlight witnessed as the eclipse progresses. The same Mandarin hue is used for the hand-painted coachline, which includes a delicate abstract representation of the transition from sunlight to darkness as the Moon approaches to cover the Sun.

ANIMATED STARLIGHT HEADLINER The Rolls-Royce Black Badge Ghost Ékleipsis features a fully Bespoke Starlight Headliner with a special animation that, like the eclipse that inspires it, gives those inside a true sense of awe and wonder. As the coach doors close and the engine is started, the ‘stars’ in the Starlight Headliner darken and a mesmerising sequence begins, replicating the totality of the solar eclipse, when the dark silhouette of the Moon completely obscures the bright light of the Sun. A circle of 940 ‘stars’ is formed, representing the bright corona of light around the lunar silhouette. This is surrounded by a further 192 illuminating ‘stars’, recreating the otherworldly spectacle of stars visible in the sky during daylight, which occurs only during a total solar eclipse.

The animation remains visible for precisely seven minutes and 31 seconds – the longest possible duration of a total solar eclipse. Once this time has elapsed, the full constellation of ‘stars’ in the night sky is restored. This highly technical feature required a year of painstaking development, in which the Bespoke Collective produced three complete prototypes to perfect the design and sequencing of the ‘stars’.

ILLUMINATED FASCIA AND ‘DIAMOND RING’ TIMEPIECE The illuminated fascia of Rolls-Royce Black Badge Ghost Ékleipsis is adorned with 1,846 laser-etched ‘stars’ in a symbolic timeline of a total eclipse. A single Bespoke designer had sole responsibility for adjusting the individual size and position of each ‘star’ to create the mesmeric effect; a delicate and exacting process that took over 100 hours to complete.

The composition culminates in a Bespoke timepiece, which incorporates a brilliant-cut 0.5-carat diamond, recalling the ‘Diamond Ring’ effect, when a single, dazzling point of light can be seen on the Moon’s outline in the split seconds just before and immediately after it obscures the Sun. The bezel geometry has been modified to accommodate the precious gem, as this is the first time in Rolls-Royce history that a gemstone has been integrated into the clock’s bezel. The assembly underwent rigorous adhesion tests, which included climatic cell cycling from -30°C to +90°C, to ensure the diamond is robustly secured. The timepiece is finished with an etching on its dark aluminium surround, revealing the bright metal underneath. This beautiful piece of contemporary craftsmanship is the result of over 14 design iterations.

PANORAMIC SUNSET INTERIOR At totality of a solar eclipse, there is a moment when a golden twilight surrounds those viewing the eclipse, giving the illusion of a 360-degree sunset. In Rolls-Royce Black Badge Ghost Ékleipsis, the beauty of this rarely observed phenomenon is captured in bi-coloured seats with a unique perforated artwork, made of over 200,000 individual perforations.

The bold Mandarin leather is tinted in a black shade that is then perforated to reveal the brighter contrasting colour beneath, creating a visual effect with extraordinary depth and subtlety. Using computational design tools, the Bespoke Collective developed a unique pattern, which was then manually refined over seven trials and iterations.

Bespoke finishing touches include illuminated treadplates, umbrellas with Mandarin piping concealed in the coach doors, and a unique indoor motor car cover bearing the Private Collection’s wordmark.

All 25 examples of the Rolls-Royce Black Badge Ghost Ékleipsis Private Collection have been allocated to clients around the world.

[hcfiles]

Apparently, NV is no longer allowed to post, but only repost her image from other pages' posts. Does that mean the deal is over? The escort recently posted a merchandise thermometer, in which she wasn't included at all, but didn't forget to consider the gardner.

Strange for a man "happy in love and in life" who is "proud of being her man". Doesn't she want to promote that she's in the UK all the time? Shouldn't she - now, swollen and huge for carrying "his" baby -, be included in the pic reading Vanity magazine, relaxing her feet on his lap (that would show natural intimacy), while he reads a book?

In my opinion, and considering he said his IG is fictional - a promotional tool -, his post was, first, a merchandising, then a thermometer to test engagement, but, also, a provocative attempt to generate discussion on whether they are together or not, so as to continue generating algorithms and Ks.

Based on his efforts in selling the straight womanizer image by working as an escort, the fact he always hung up with gay friends, the shenanigan this last PR was, the lies they came up with, the insistence in trying to prove the fake is real, I'm almost 100% sure he's, at least, bi and all those PR stunts were a cover up.

I always had this doubt about his sexuality. But, OF COURSE straight men may have gay friends and socialize. And Europe is a place where being gay is as common as drinking warm beer. But, straight men USUALLY prefer to hang out with straight men, especially 'cause of interests.

My point here is they not only insisted with this PR, but they made sure to push a paternity plot. Was that the intention all along, choosing a woman they knew had a pregnancy on her plans, to sell the father figure and avoid rumours?

If his IG is fictional, what is posted there is fake. And this shenanigan was initially posted there with the chess board match. Again: This woman seems pregnant. She's been too swollen for a while. So, it's kind of difficult to deny it. But, for sure her belly wasn't that big in NY when they first appeared pregnant (initially against her will).

So, despite their attempt in promoting an image, what he managed was to promote the exact opposite. Based on one of his last interviews in a public event, saying we would have "much more of it", he was decided to fake and take this paternity plot further.

They will continue with this shenanigan, especially because now, it became easier with her pregnancy. She no longer needs his presence by her side to promote the idea they are together and that he is the father. The belly (and the baby) will do the rest of the job.

So, is there a reason he had to be sold as the father figure (not convincing)? Are they trying to take advantage of a woman's pregnancy to avoid rumours, staging a fake paternity for him? This shenanigan never convinced me. But, I'm open to the fact he can be an immature jerk who just wanted to promote his manhood with his new old "lady" and a son.

[satvikasailu6]

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[tech-insides]

Essential Skills for Aspiring Data Scientists in 2024

Welcome to another edition of Tech Insights! Today, we're diving into the essential skills that aspiring data scientists need to master in 2024. As the field of data science continues to evolve, staying updated with the latest skills and tools is crucial for success. Here are the key areas to focus on:

1. Programming Proficiency

Proficiency in programming languages like Python and R is foundational. Python, in particular, is widely used for data manipulation, analysis, and building machine learning models thanks to its rich ecosystem of libraries such as Pandas, NumPy, and Scikit-learn.

2. Statistical Analysis

A strong understanding of statistics is essential for data analysis and interpretation. Key concepts include probability distributions, hypothesis testing, and regression analysis, which help in making informed decisions based on data.

3. Machine Learning Mastery

Knowledge of machine learning algorithms and frameworks like TensorFlow, Keras, and PyTorch is critical. Understanding supervised and unsupervised learning, neural networks, and deep learning will set you apart in the field.

4. Data Wrangling Skills

The ability to clean, process, and transform data is crucial. Skills in using libraries like Pandas and tools like SQL for database management are highly valuable for preparing data for analysis.

5. Data Visualization

Effective communication of your findings through data visualization is important. Tools like Tableau, Power BI, and libraries like Matplotlib and Seaborn in Python can help you create impactful visualizations.

6. Big Data Technologies

Familiarity with big data tools like Hadoop, Spark, and NoSQL databases is beneficial, especially for handling large datasets. These tools help in processing and analyzing big data efficiently.

7. Domain Knowledge

Understanding the specific domain you are working in (e.g., finance, healthcare, e-commerce) can significantly enhance your analytical insights and make your solutions more relevant and impactful.

8. Soft Skills

Strong communication skills, problem-solving abilities, and teamwork are essential for collaborating with stakeholders and effectively conveying your findings.

Final Thoughts

The field of data science is ever-changing, and staying ahead requires continuous learning and adaptation. By focusing on these key skills, you'll be well-equipped to navigate the challenges and opportunities that 2024 brings.

If you're looking for more in-depth resources, tips, and articles on data science and machine learning, be sure to follow Tech Insights for regular updates. Let's continue to explore the fascinating world of technology together!

[sweetandsoursaws]

Character Bio

Name: Lark Wren

Age: 27

Pronouns: He/him

Sexuality: Bi/pan

Species: Robot in a humanoid flesh suit [more on this later]

Appearance: 6 foot tall man covered in orange tabby fur with a tabby cat tail, clawed hands, and slightly pointed teeth. He has human ears and a mostly human face although his nose is more catlike. He has long blonde hair and yellow/green eyes. He also has recently gotten a lot of piercings in his ears as well as a brow piercing.

Fashion: Lark currently primarily wears loose and soft clothing, and will sometimes give up on wearing a shirt entirely because they rub his fur the wrong way.

Occupation: Handyman. He does simple fixes of whatever the hell needs fixing as long as it's something he can google and solve with simple tools. He also has taken up whittling and chainsaw carving as hobbies.

Personality: He has lost control of his life but he owns a chainsaw so don't fucking test him. This is a bad description that explains nothing

WTF is his deal?: Lark was formerly known as Luke. After years of accidents causing him to lose one body part at a time, ship of Theseus style replacing himself with robotic prosthetics, he finally died entirely and spent a stint in hell. While he was in hell, a fully robotic copy of him took his place. Eventually his robotic copy was able to recover Lark and put him in his own body, and more recently created his current body; a robotic endoskeleton covered by cloned flesh and blood so he could finally be fully human again. Or he would be, if something hadn't gone a bit sideways in the cloning process. Oops!

[fenharael]

For the character ask thing. Varrè?

Disclaimer: Everyone's got a right to their headcanons these are just mine...etc.

Sexuality headcanon:

Bi/pan for sure. Honestly I cannot see him as a willing bottom/submissive for anyone except Mohg — and that likely would involve stockholm syndrome, cult indoctrination, and rape — the dude has way too much ego/pride and gleeful sadist energy. I do think he could sub if sufficiently psychologically broken though!

A ship I have with said character:

I ship him with the Tarnished mostly. I like the dynamic happening there in general and since everyone’s Tarnished OC’s are different there’s always a new story or angle to read.

I ship him with Mohg but only one-sided and unrequited.

I like the idea of him being insanely jealous of Miquella and maybe taking it out on his sleeping cocoon form somehow.

A BROTP I have with said character:

Courtesy of @quesoquejoso​ Varré and Eleonora are BFF’s.

In terms of my own hc’s though I see him as a loner lol. I don’t really think he has any friends, he strikes me as someone who is unpleasant to be around and would push people away and I don’t think being in a cult would make that better.

A NOTP I have with said character:

I don’t know if I have any NOTP’s for him really? I think the only one I don’t really like is Mohg/Varré that’s reciprocal or where Mohg treats him as an equal or as his lover as opposed to a tool or love-bombing him before tossing him away.

A random headcanon:

He’s dirty and doesn’t care about his appearance. You cannot convince me he is hygienic or washes his hands for an operation unless it’s for a person he cares to keep alive. Is he a huge hypocrite about this and will he get mad if you compare him to a barber surgeon? Yes. He shaves when his beard irritates him under his mask, he keeps his hair up to avoid brushing it. Doesn’t remember the last time he bathed.

I will not be taking criticism.

General Opinion over said character:

I think I wrote about this in another post so I’ll tl;dr with: Love the contrasts and contradictions in his character, love evil killer doctor men, love tragedy, courtly love, gender fuckery, sexy voice

He makes the dopamine happen in my brain I DON’T KNOW WHY.

Gender headcanon:

This is going to sound weird but I have a hard time separating his character from his design, his performance, and his behavior. Please forgive me because I'm gonna get long-winded and I'm gonna make a hard left before circling back around to get to my answer. 😅

Varré as he portrays himself part 1.

Varré seems very comfortable and confident in his identity in how he was acted by Pip Torrens, how his dialogue is written, and how he behaves. He is sinister, haughty, condescending, and passive-aggressive.

This line and it's delivery:

"...Yes, I see. Perhaps it's just as well. Besides, you are maidenless. One can only do so much with the materials provided..."

speaks volumes on his views of his role and of the Tarnished he is attempting to indoctrinate. He thinks he's wasting his time. I'd go as far as to say he killed those he found particularly unworthy outright — at least until Tarnished were harder to come by as time went on. You are a rare commodity and he has to use you though you're below his standards.

It's very clear to anyone paying attention that he feels this way, but if you were to take him at face value (as a naïve Tarnished might) he would come off as genuinely helpful and kind — he alludes to this himself when he says:

"... If you mistake kindness for frailty of heart, then perhaps a more physical lesson is in order!"

So, despite his best efforts to come across as a guide and trustworthy enough to set a new recruit on the right path — he doesn't make quite enough effort to conceal it completely.

This in itself might be a part of the recruitment test — as Roderika asks if you were "enticed" into heading to Stormveil on his instruction and in his cut dialogue Yura calls him "a charlatan”.

So other NPC's are well aware something is off about him and refuse to engage. The fact that you do — despite this — might be the point. He wants someone comfortable with a general feeling of "wrongness" who continues to do as he says anyway.

In regards to his personal beliefs Varré doesn’t lie or mislead the Tarnished at any point either. He simply suggests we visit the Roundtable and form our own opinion. He is even willing to share his own — That the Roundtable Hold’s glory days are far behind it and its remaining warriors are not what they used to be.

Once you have proven yourself as a truly worthy candidate, he will open up even further, divulging that he believes the Two Finger’s have given the Tarnished a foolhardy task and that their guidance was broken with the Elden Ring’s shattering. At this point he will bring up that they harbor “no love for our kind” revealing that, he too, may be Tarnished.

Up until now, the only deception Varré has engaged in is pretending to be nice and patient enough with you to get you to this point. Presumably, before his option to take you to the Roundtable himself was cut even that wouldn’t have been a lie, as he states quite plainly that he likes you and see’s enough potential in you to show you the way.

Despite the mask, despite being dressed as a “man of compassion” and a killer, despite offering you guidance in the ultimate hope of recruiting you as a Bloody Finger: Varré is remarkably honest and up front about who he is and what he feels.

So, once you are well and truly in his good graces and he trusts you... how does that change?

Varré as he portrays himself part 2.

For starters, let’s take Varré’s infamous opening lines:

“...Unfortunately for you, however, you are maidenless. Without guidance, without the strength of runes, and without an invitation to the Roundtable Hold... You are fated, it seems, to die in obscurity. Luckily for you, however, there is one shining ray of hope for even the maidenless. Me. Varré.”

While dripping with sarcasm, I’d argue the popular fan-interpretation of this being a come-on isn't far off. While seemingly a part of his ruse, Varré plays the role of stand-in Finger Maiden well enough if you decide to continue his questline. And if you do continue, it becomes clear it may not be a ruse after all.

Varré’s message to the Tarnished once we’ve defeated Godrick reads:

“Find yourself maidenless? Off to Liurnia with you, then! Seek the Rose Church, west of the Gate Town.”

This can be taken two ways, first it can be read as a personalized dig at the PC and second it can be read as an offer: “Find yourself maidenless? Would you like to change that?” if you decide you would like a maiden, he asks you to meet him at the Rose Church... wedding bells ring somewhere in the distance.

Pretty much everyone knows this by now, but in JP the substitute for “lambkin” is “watashi no anata” which is a possessive and traditionally gendered way of referring to someone in close personal context. Ex: A wife calling her husband “my (you) dear”.

In JP from the first time Varré calls you “my (you)” the association of him as your bride is made clear. His pet name “my lambkin”, on the other hand, evokes images of sacrifice and innocence. Is the bride marrying you into Mohg’s faithful flock? Or he is grooming you as a lamb for slaughter? Either way he’s taking you to the altar.

Aside from being your maiden and bride, he is also your Lady. He sends you off on different dangerous tasks, bidding you return, and giving you gifts. Most notably, he gifts you the “Lord of Blood’s Favor” which he bids you stain in the blood of your former any maiden to swear your allegiance. Which is then replaced with his true favor: A lovely brooch to declare your public devotion to the dynasty as his knight.

The Subtext ™

Sex in Elden Ring is very deliberate and very much lurking underneath the surface of almost every strange-looking rock. Generally it is used in connection to fertility and birth, but it also serves as a way many taboo things are explored  or shown in the setting. This combined with Fromsoftware’s unique and subtle brand of storytelling — which puts a lot of emphasis on the little moments of human connection in a dark and dangerous world makes the Mohgwyn Dynasty, and in this specific instance, the act of becoming a Bloody Finger — stand out.

In a series of games where the act of holding hands or calling someone your friend is probably the highest form of human intimacy possible besides mercy killing or stabbing them in the face with a sword. Elden Ring shakes that up, with marriage and sex being talked of openly, but it isn’t handled in a crude or vulgar way. You never outright have mention of sex, of the two items that do mention it (turtle neck meat, Daedicar’s woe) one of them had the reference removed and the other is stated in a subtle way.

Mohg’s whole thing revolves around the birth of a new dynasty via Miquella as his consort. He “shares his bloody bedchamber” and sets his consort’s cocoon atop a giant pelvis. The sex imagery is very much front and center, though it is tasteful and understated, dressed up in symbolism and ritual.

Which brings us (finally) to the Bloody Finger scene. Probably the most blatantly erotic thing outside of the entirety of Bloodborne Lady Maria’s visceral attack animation and the Three Finger’s “embrace”.

To start, the animation for the way Varré extends his arm is just...very seductive. I am unsure of how else to phrase that, but the animation is unique and it is smooth and inviting up until the second he grabs your wrist and very forcefully restrains your Tarnished from moving.

Second, the delivery of:

“Oh good heavens! Clench your teeth or something.”

In the version of this line used in the retail game “Oh good heavens” definitely sounds like a man who wasn’t expecting to be turned on by your screams (to me) or wasn’t expecting you to scream that much. Followed by a dismissive and smug “clench your teeth, or something.”

and

“Never forget that feeling of agony. For it is what binds you to Luminary Mogh, to all of us. Ha ha ha... You have the sweetest scream. My lambkin.”

Self explanatory. Man gets off on your screaming.

Why the fuck did I write all of this?

I don’t know, I probably didn’t have to and I’m feeling sort of dumb about it.

But uh, to establish that Varré is confident and assured in his identity and that he deliberately and purposefully puts himself in the social context of being your maiden. Whether this is genuine or is just part of Mohgwyn Indoctrination 101 is unclear, but the fact remains he does it and he does it with enthusiasm.

To establish that sex and sexuality are a factor in his characterization and in his relationship to the PC with the context of  the faction he is in and considering how Fromsoft has handled character relationships and how they showcase certain things.

In conclusion:

I headcanon Varré as confident in his masculinity, confident enough that he’s willing to play with gender fuckery and expectations to be a maiden and bride to a Tarnished Inductee and Knight. That he sees it as his sacred duty and an honor — or that he sees it as a necessary ploy to give his master what he wants — fresh blood. Either way Varré is Extremely Gender and I love him.

Edit regarding sexuality headcanon:

My gender headcanon may seem contradictory to my sexuality headcanon, why would he be willing to play the "socially subordinate"'role of a woman and not be willing to do that sexually?

Well, for one, I don't think the gender roles in ER are necessarily reflective of traditional gender roles in reality. I think the birth imagery around Miquella, St Trina's gender bending, Dolores's gender bending, the role and status of women in the setting, and the general gender neutral use of titles and treatment by characters supports this.

I think ones sexual preferences to top/bottom have less gendered weight and more weight regarding power and status.

That being said, to rephrase my sexuality headcanon: I think Varré is a man who wants power and is willing to debase himself for it. I do not think he sees anyone but Mohg as worthy or able to give him that power and thus would not place himself socially underneath them (willingly). I think his subservience to Mohg was a hard pill to swallow (lol) but was achieved, as previously mentioned, through torture and abuse. Once he drank the koolaid though, he was all in baby.