#bht im ok now

[rexscanonwife]

Me in my dreams: *stands my own against Darth Maul, a badass*

Me irl: *somehow shattered a glass cup on nothing at work and cuts up my hand*

[themintman]

Badge seller designs but thEY ARE LESS OF A FUCKED UP LITTLE CREATURE YIPPEE!!

[autisticlee]

contrary to my last post...how do you know if you're aromantic, or you just haven't found the mythical and elusive "THE ONE" everyone keeps going on about and promises me I will find?

every time I say i'll never date or find someone I can't stand being around or who will like me, someone always 100% of the time tells me "you have to keep looking! you will find The One™ one day! they're out there! they're real!"

i've wondered if i'm aromatic for my whole life (or at least since I learned that was a thing when I got internet as a teen) but how do you know

I feel like when I see kther aro people out there, they are so sure of themselves! they know how aro they are and aren't questioning it. it's like how I know for sure i'm asexual (being sex repulsed made that one easy lmao) but aromatic seems different and less solid.

generally, I don't care. i'm not looking for a partner and don't generally think I want one. i'm fine alone/without a relationship. it seems like tol much work and trouble. I can't even make and keep friends! why would I date?

but I feel very lonely seeing everyone in my life pair off and I have no one to rely on or lean on. I would love to have a best friend or small group of close friends, but my useless autistic ass can't even do that. but that's another rant lmao.

i always remember when someone told me once that if I want a best friend, I need to date someone. "adults don't have best friends, jnsywas they date and pair off. their partner is their best friend. you can't call another adult you aren't dating your best friends. that's only for kids."

that's so sad and lonely, yet everyone seems to believe or at least follow that dumb logic. it's times like that where I think "maybe it would be nice to have a partner," but I don't know if I just want that close relationship, or actually want a partner.

I don't know if i'm capable of being romantically attracted to someone. I know I want a really close relationship with someone where I can trust and rely on them fully. they're always there for me and I for them. we do everything together and help each other grow and live in this difficult world. but I don't want it to come with that awkward and annoying dating and romance expectation. I don't want to go on awkward first dates and have awkward "are we a thing" stage and then have the possibility of a breakup. (I can't deal with friendhips ending. a breakup would end me lmao)

I used to always say I wanted to be friends with someone first before for a while we date so I can know if I can't stand being stuck with them and them with me for a long period of time. that way I can see if if are compatible first. I think it's weird and irresponsible when people start dating before knowing who someone even is. that's just so weird (and lowkey scary) to me lmao. but I have also learned that people thinks irs wierd if you want to date after being friends because then they think you only became friends to date them and act weird about it even if it's not true. that's not the goal or reason. but no one i've been friends with passed my test anyway lmao

I remember talking about this with one friend a while back and them she suddenly a bit later accuses me of liking her and decided we can't be friends anymore. but she also didn't pass my test and wasn't the type of person I wanted. (I think she was also the person who said the quote above about adults can't have best friends)

i've never actually liked someone. when I was younger, I got aesthetic attraction mixed up with sexual attraction until I learned asexual is a thing and that's me. I also got romantic interest mixed up with admiration a d simply finding a person interesting. also both got mixed up with gender envy hahaha

but I don't even know if I could be in a relationship. I dont feel suited. I'm way too picky to like and trust anyone enough. i'm also a useless little gremlin and no one would ever like ME enough. then there's the barrier of the person would also need to be asexual because I can't deal with their sexual needs at all and would feel bad. i've met/talked to a total of like 5 asexual people in my life. we seem comparatively rare. none of them were for me obviously.

aromantic people as well. seems rare to me. I also know it's a spectrum. there's so many types. I could be somewhere in there. but I don't know if I should say i'm aromantic meaning I don't have an interest at all, or that i'm like demi and waiting for "The One ™" or whatever. where on the spectrum am I????

should I hope I find The One or try not to think about it? I don't want waiting for that mythical person to be my whole personality and life goal like most people do. that's annoying lmao. but I also don't know if i'm cursing myself to be lonely for life because I refuse to open up to the possibility...

I feel like this is some autistic black and white thinking coming in 😅 I know it doesn't matter much, but it drives me crazy whenever I do think about it.....

[puppycharmz]

hey who sent that anon :( why bro

[meimeikyu]

they forgot about me didnt they

[mosquito-man-man]

IM GONNA REBLOG TBE REBLOBBING THING ON TBEREBLOGKN SITE

Hey folks, if you want to fight back against the twitterfication of tumblr USE IT LIKE IT'S TUMBLR!!!!!! REBLOG THINGS!!!!!! USE THE TAGS TO SCREAM AT YOUR FRIENDS!!!!!!!

[phagodyke]

spoke too soon abt my fucking period 😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐

[omohole]

check this out *has a panic attack over fucking nothing* *imagines scenarios in my head* *is fucking delusional*

i. really need to get back on my anxiety meds.

[melissa-titanium]

do u think the gang tm would have training session type fights. i think if doll & uzi (sadly not apart of the gang bht i ca n dream) would have a litle training sessh to help with uzis solver powers. do u think uzi would repeat the thing she did in promening (jump across floating tables) EXCEPT now that she has wings and a tail she can glide across them quickly and effortlessly. so itd give her an advantage in a fight. if we r going by my headcanons i think uzi would be able to help doll w her solver form. even if doll is INFINITELY more experienced, uzi has had up-close experience w shit like. getting out her wings n tail. idk i jus had an animatic idea OK IM DOI GB MY SCHOOLWORK GOODBYE

[local-giyuu-simp]

‼️OK SO VERY QUICK IM DOING A DRAWING OF MY OC BHT I NEED DECISIONS,I DID SOME SKET HES AND I WANNA KNOW‼️

I'm changing it from the og one to this

OR

Should she wear a haori???

I need decisions NOW‼️

Or yk take ur time .🎀

[oliviaischillin1204]

OK OK THIS IS GONNAN SOHND REALLY REALLY STUPID BUT I GOT NOTFICATION THAY YOU REBLOGGED ONE OF MY POSTS

AND LIKE AJBDHWJZJQ I AM SO FUCKIN HONORED CAUSE YOU ARE LIKE ONE OF THISE BIG FAMOUD TK FIC WRITERS AND JUSG LIKE IVE READ YOUR FICS FOR A LONF TOME AND JUST

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR REBLOGGING ONE OF POSTS LIKE IM JUST SHOCKED BHT LIKE HONORED JUST JAJSJSNNSNSNWNA YOU CAN IGNORE THIS IF YA WANT I JUDT AHHHH IM SCREAMING-

DUDE I LOVE U!!!!! SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!

i have a few other posts of urs in my drafts rn, i've been meaning to reblog/queue them but i keep getting distracted oof

no but this message was really really fucking nice jin thank you 🥹 i will legit never get over ppl saying they've read and liked my work, it means.. so much to me.

this blog is deadass one of the things i'm most proud of, period. i have So many more fic ideas i would love to share and esp. now that i'm using my queue/actively checking the tags every few days, i really hope to get more into the tfb again 🥹

[knightofconcordia]

HI SORRY IF I ASKED WHILE UR STUFF WAS CLOSED I DK IF FHIS COUNTS BC ITS JUST A QUESTION BHT HABE U HESRD GIDLES NEW COMEBAKX KR SMT I LOVE IT SM JTS NOT THE BEST COMPARED TO THEIR ORHER SONGS BUT ITS SISOSOOS CYACHU

Me and my friends watched the mv tg and it was awesome I loved it it’s called queen card btw AHHH SNNSJDJDF

IM SORRY FOR SMTYPOS IM TOO LAZY TO GO BACK AND CORRECT THEM 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

HI ok i love queen card omggggg

also dw even if my reqs are closed i appreciate questions sm! actually i apologize this shoulda been posted much faster um. but it’s here now!

OH actually that reminds me too HI TO ANYONE WHO FOLLOWS ME ANNOUNCEMENT Y’ALL - Sorry my fics haven’t come out since maybe before last month(?) idk how long it’s been i’m super busy but n e waysssss I’ll be coming out with a fic before the end of May

[spindash]

going to get overly personal family stuff so among us nendoroid for your time and my thirteen yr old brothers response to me sending it to him

Went to visit my aunt & uncle since they couldnt come over like they usually do since theyre taking care of my other uncle. i almost didnt to atall because i know hes gotten a lot worse hes sleeping pretty much all the time and cant eat or respond to anybody really they switched his meds to just make him as comfortable as possible and it so fucking sucks i spent most of the time there in tears and then choking and sobbing behind my mask whenever somebody would hug me like god. they asked if i wanted to spend some time with my uncle alone and i couldnt do it i feel so fucking selfish for it but it is literally the most gut wrenching thing to see him like that. everybody else did it but i couldnt. he bought us presents though before he started getting bad so we got them and it sucked but he got me the witcher books because we had talked about the show and how i was interested in reading them and he remembered and got them for me but i dont know if i can read them at all now. my mom is so beyond upset about this of course thats literally her little brother i cant fucking imagine if anything happened to kimmy. And kimmy oh my god i feel so fucking bad he has the same birthday as our uncle and our uncle was SO insanely like over the moon that happened and always called kim his little birthday present his birthday buddy so he is a mess and i wish i could make it all go away for him. One of the absolute worst things to ever fucking happen to me he was teaching me to drive and he was excited about my 21st birthday and was so proud i had decided i wanted to go to college i know its soo lame because hes my uncle but he was like my best friend i cant fucking stand the idea im never gonna see him again. Last timw we went to visit he could hardly make any sense but right before we left i went over to him again to hold his hand and he squeezed it and said i love you buddy and it was the most like him he had sounded and looked in a long time and its so hard. i cant keep typing its making me cry ans my head hurt so bad ok sorry if you read any of this at all its so stupid personal to put online bht i dont know its christmas my friends are celebrating i cant just go like hey so im miserable. whatever ok. napping now

[jinleebelee]

I fucking love these massagers-

So I just finished giving them a good test run and holy hell 😳 it was amazing- it was just a chefs kiss all together

Thought I was practically dying both before and after I absolutely loved every minute of those damn massgers but

JESUS ANTICIPATION MUCH-

Jesus like ok. So right now it's like 2 42 jn the morning and here I am board (just finished drawing a oc still need to do the background) and I'm like Jesus I'm board but also tired bjt not tired to go to sleep qnd I just fuckin had no mood at all

Like for people who know me. Who think that as soon as I got the massgers I'd give them a test run right away (cause of how lee I can get and how practically everyday in like please God someone send me the tks)

But no I was like. When I opened them and just gave them a mini run just a quick touch on the foot you'd think I'd be flustered enough to actually give them a run. No no I didn't. Not even yesterday did I give them a thought.

Bht then all of a fucking sudden I decide to read a fic cause I'm board. And then I got flustered thinking about those damn massgers and how I wanted to do a dream tk thing and I was like pfft I ain't gonna ve that flustered

Yeah I was flust3red thinking about it but I wasn't full blown flustered as I usually thinking of stuff like that.

So me being the God damn smart ass I was. Laughing thinking oh nooo I'm soo flusyered in a sarcastic fucking tone. Until I start getting the tools ready and then it hit me.

Let me fuckint tell you how fast and hard did the flusterness hit me-

Felt like I was fucking meting a ler face to face for the first time qnd they judt asked me to sit next to them. But I'm just so flustered too thw point my face was probably a fucking tomato from how hard I was blushing. Slowly walking up and just being as slow as possible.

To say the least the progress was slow- very very very very very very very very slow-

And right qhen I thought I was ready then I got anothor fucking idea. Baby oil- Back back in the day. Like im talkin 6th grade- Before I even fuckin had tumbler(yeah yeah i know hkw the hell did i know baby oil and shit. Its called i looked up tk videos on youtube when i was sad in the 4th grade and didnt know any god damn better and shit. And basically i saw all these fuckin tools and shit. Lookin up wvery tk tool in the book and well here i am. A fucking tk nerd) I bought baby oil and to this day I still have it. Crazy but I still have it. Damn I'm getting too old- lmao.

So any way I slowly get up from NY bad and slowly very very- *ya yall get the point with the very slowly shit) grab it and set down on my bed

Ag this point I'm just thinking to myself what have I gotten myself into- I am absolutely terrified and flustered and just dying- (so much for oh I'm not gonna get flustered hahaha attuide-)

So here I am trying to figure out how exactly I'm gonna do this. Cause for people who know me or have been reading my blog know that I 👏 can't 👏 keep 👏 a 👏 tool 👏 on👏myself 👏 by👏 myself since this message rotates and had bristles ya know damn well I can't just hold on to it and leave their no I needed extra support.

And no that support isn't a irl ler. That would be nice but ya boi is very very anti social and has social anxiety (jazz hands)

So I used my second best thing tape!

It worked like a charm (I love ya type thank you for helping me stick it when ever I need) yes I just tried to say a pun-

SO FINIALLY AFTER GETTING THEM TAPPED ALL I HAVE TO DO IS TURN THEM ON-

easier said then done-

It took a long amount of courage, curses whines and "oh my fucking gods" to doni5 but I did it

And I fucking died

I was in heaven and hell and holy crapndid it fucking tk-

Practically holding my laughter which had never happened when I'm self tk cause I can hold in my laughter pretty good (unless a ler is wrecking my ass)

BUT JESUS- I HAD TO GRAB MY PLUSH AND HIDE MY FACE. BSNG MY HANDS ON THE GOD DAMN BLANKET AND GRAB AT MY FACE AND HIDE LIKE- AHHHH

AND IN MY HEAD I WAS FLIPPEN THE HELL OUT

MY THOUGHTS WERE LIKE

FUCK FUCK FUCK IT TKS IT TKS TKSSS

NONONOO FUCK NOT THWIR ANYWHERR BUT THEIR

NOHOHOHO THIS ISNT FAIRRR NOT THEEEREEEE

Ohmygodittksitkssomuchiloveitilove

Ohmygodidontwantthistoend

and all that was from one being turned on.

But once I turned the second on on Jesus christ-

IT TKED MUCH MORE THEN THE FUCKING FIRST ONE AND I HSD BOTH ON NOW

AND RIGHT NEAE THE FUCKING END I COULDNT FUND THE DAMN SWITCH TO TURN OFF ONE OF THEM. SND THAT ONE WAS GOING AT IT.

I TURNED THE OTHER ONE OFF BUTBTHE TOHER ONE TOO FOREVER TO FIND THE BUTTON TO TURN OFF

(notsayimgthatiwasntenjoyingitcauseitwasthesecondonetobeturnedonanditwasmuchworsethenthefirstonebuthavingbothonwasimcredible-)

(BasicallyIhadthebesttimeever-)

[ithinkimsick2]

aarnrrhhg i really hate it here and i hate me right now. i t

esll

i really cant reslly fihure out whyv. i know ots ok not to be ok, well i twll myself fhat logically and usualy im good at fhat, defeating feelibgs with logjc but its really a bjt of a studggle right now. theres m wellbtherees like a lgot of things i to do. and. and. i dont know. i wish evrgything was okay. ibthink that no one should hsve to deal eith me. i.. i can be happy somefimes and i xobt wabt people to see me when ik sad. even though i wiah ivcould fix other peoples sadness bht i dont know how. im not tored, im sctually got a lot of energy. i still feel pathetic. i srill worry. i sfill overthink. still nothing nakes sense. i think life is sorta ubfair like that. i cam lnly sy theese things where no ine will see it bht j actually cling into the hope fhat someone will. i think its reallt nice tobconnect to other people, i doscovered this recdntly but its also a very bif risk. and like, its scary abd skmetimes if hurtz. i xont find mysdlf eorthy somgitimes. it ceels like kagbe in spiralking. mymyup

[dilemma-danger]

ok well all of said stuff is over so now im just stuck in this place where i dont want to make people sad bht im also not sure if they wven would be sad if i disappeared/died????

oh god now im stuck in this place where i want to stop talking forever and fucking kms already but i also dont want to let people down because i have stuff coming up