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ronaldofandom · 1 year

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Forever, and for always!

And, after a few titbits, the proposal fic is up :)

Written at the request of a few readers. And also because I missed writing about my babies.

Summary: Bheem wants to ask Jenny to marry him. He's shit nervous and takes help from Ram & Sita. Then, he proposes in the most 'Bheem' way possible. This is fluff & fluff & more fluff.

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‘Anna - meet me riverside. It’s a matter of life and death.’

Ram had just finished the training session when a kid handed over Bheem’s note to him. The haphazardly scribbled words added to the urgency of the situation. Ram dropped everything and galloped towards the river, bracing himself for the worst. Ready to go on absolute rampage if anyone had dared to hurt Bheem.

His eyes scanned all directions, searching from pillar to post. When he finally spotted Bheem, he dashed towards him.

‘What…what’s wrong? What happened? I came as quickly as I could.’

Bheem looked curiously at Ram. The man was bent over, his hands on his knees, desperately trying to catch his breath.

Ram had also gotten the chance to look Bheem over. He didn’t seem physically hurt, thankfully, and there didn’t seem to be any imminent danger either. What was the issue then? Why did Bheem scare the living daylights out of him with that note?

‘Anna - why are you panting?’

Ram was more than mildly irritated by the question.

‘Isn’t it obvious? I came running because you said it’s a matter of life and death.’

Bheem looked guilty. Instantly. And Ram started to get irked by the look.

‘Well, what is it then? Spill. NOW.’

Bheem started to pace around the area, nervously. The man was driving Ram nuts.

‘I…uh…I am thinking about asking Jenny to marry me.’

Ram processed the information for a few seconds. Then picked up a pebble and hurled it at Bheem. It was small enough to not hurt but large enough to at-least sting.

Bheem rubbled his hurt shoulder, and gaped at Ram, all crestfallen and confused.

‘THAT was a matter of life and death? THAT? Do you have any idea what all went through my mind in the last 6 minutes? DO YOU?’

Bheem looked down sheepishly. He should have worded the note better, instead of letting his heart overpower his judgement.

A few more cuss words and bear hugs and puppy eyes later, Ram’s mood improved markedly and he calmed down enough to focus on the matter at hand.

‘What exactly is bothering you, Bheem? Tell me.’

Bheem started to pace up and down again, making Ram dizzy.

‘You remember how you had told me to give her time to get acclimatised? To not pop the question too soon? To not put her in a spot where she feels compelled or pressured to make a choice?’

‘Yes I said that. Because you wanted to propose marriage to her two days after you guys said ‘I love you’ to each other.’

Ram rolled his eyes in annoyance at the memory. He believed he had saved Bheem from falling off a cliff with that herculean stupid idea of his.

Bheem paused the frenzied pacing abruptly and held Ram’s shoulders.

‘Exactly. I did all that you said. I waited. Patiently. I didn’t blurt out or hinted anything. Not even once. I stayed mum all this while. But Anna, it’s been 3 months since we have been together. I…I think we are ready to take the next step. What do you think?’

For the first time that evening, and in a long time, Ram smiled. Fondly. While shaking his head at Bheem.

‘My sweet brother - how could I be the judge of that? Only you two could know where you are in your relationship.’

‘That’s not true. You know her world better than me. You can see things from her lens. If she hadn’t been here, if it hadn’t been me but one of….well….those white men, would they have waited 3 months or more to pop the question? What’s the norm?’

Ram smiled even more, irking Bheem this time.

‘Glad my troubles are amusing to you.’

Bheem huffed and crossed his hands across his chest.

‘Oh no no, it’s not like that. It’s just funny that of all the people in this world, you decided to come to ME for relationship advice. I am laughing at the irony, not you.’

Bheem just shrugged in response. Ram was the smartest person he knew, and he trusted him with his life. So ofcourse he had gone to Ram for advice. Plus, Ram had saved him from quite a few faux-pas during his whirlwind romance. And, he had asked Sita to marry him. Surely he would have some pearls of wisdom to offer.

‘Look Bheem, no part of this is as per the norm. While you made your courtship official to the tribal council, her living together with you all these months is not the accepted practice in her world. In fact, it would be frowned upon and would cause immense uproar in her family. She has defied every rule set for her by following you here, so that shouldn’t be your benchmark. Your relationship has moved at a very different pace. You both have been through a lot, in this short span of three months. Forget the norm, just ask yourself if you think she is ready.’

Bheem was dreading this answer. Frankly, he didn’t want to rely just on his own heart. If he had followed his stupid heart, he would have foolishly proposed three months back itself.

Ram saw his inner turmoil through his transparent face.

‘Ok - let’s go through a few parameters. She wanted to be more self-reliant, right? To learn the ways of your world. How do you think she fares in that now?’

‘Frankly, she has surprised me. Surpassed all my assumptions. She has been the most diligent student, Anna. In household stuff and outside stuff alike. I don’t need to tell you that, since you have already graduated her from knife training to a revolver. She has picked up the language so quickly. All day, she busies herself in one thing or another. As if wanting to do a crash course on everything related to my world. Long story short, I don’t believe that to be an issue anymore.’

Ram nodded in agreement. Jenny was one of the best students he ever had. He had seen her evolve rapidly in all departments.

‘Great. Now, what about communication? She wanted you to share more with her, about your troubles, and not keep shielding her from the sad realities. Where do you guys stand on that?’

Bheem paused for introspection. After that massive and near-terminal fight at the beginning, they had started to communicate better. It had taken conscious effort, on both sides, to not let their insecurities affect what they said to each other. To actually share things as they were. Because the unspoken things were doing more harm than good.

‘Yes, we learnt it the hard way but we are fine now.’

‘Super. What about her health? You were worried initially about her adapting to the climate and food.’

‘That’s settled too. She got a few bouts of fever and food poisoning initially but that I had anticipated. Since then, she has adapted well.’

Ram nodded his head silently, while going through the checklist in his mind. There wasn’t much else to ask. All of their initial hiccups in the relationship seemed to have been sorted. There was one elephant in the room, though. Ram decided to address it head on.

‘Finally, Bheem, are you over the stupid notion that you don’t deserve her? That she would walk away any day, wanting no more of this life with you?’

Bheem’s mood suddenly turned solemn and his face fell. Ram had to resist the urge to offer physical comfort.

‘Anna, to be honest, I don’t think that fear will go away fully. Ever. I think she knows it too. But she has shown me in her own way how much she…loves me. And that this isn’t some exotic adventure for her. She has given her all and more to our relationship. So, I don’t want to let this fear rule my life anymore.’

This time, Ram couldn’t stop himself from hugging his little pumpkin. The pumpkin hugged back instantly. Separating after a few pats on the back.

‘In that case, my friend, you are ready. Go and make me proud.’

Panic hit Bheem, suddenly.

‘Go? What do you mean go? I can’t just say it like that. What would I even say? What should I do? I should do something, right? I can’t just ask this plainly. It has to be special, how do I make it special? Why are you looking at me like that, Anna? What should I do?’

‘That is not my department. You should ask the wise one.’

‘Yes, Sita would know. Surely, she would know what to do. I will go find her now. Oh Anna, thanks a ton.’

Bheem crushed Ram in a bear hug, his excitement palpable from his every move.

Before galloping away to find Sita, Bheem turned around to look at Ram one final time.

‘Anna - she won’t say no, right?’

‘Bheem, the only question is, how quickly will she say yes. My guess is under a second. Unless there are tears. From both sides. You are going to cry, aren’t you?’

‘I shall neither confirm nor deny that.’

With that, Bheem ran away to find Sita. Leaving Ram in an uncharacteristically pleasant mood.

Sita had just finished her chores for the afternoon, and was sitting under the banyan tree near her hut, knitting for the village new-borns.

Bheem whooshed past her in his rush, only turning back when he heard her singing.

Sita was initially alarmed to see Bheem so frenzied, but he quickly assured her that all was well.

She patted to the makeshift bench next to her, and Bheem sat down, nervously wriggling his fingers.

‘Where were you all day? I made kheer. Was looking for you but you were nowhere to be found.’

‘Ahh I was caught up in something. Actually, I wanted to talk to you about something.’

‘Let me get you some kheer. Then we will talk.’

Bheem didn’t protest. A little kheer won’t do anyone any harm.

Sita returned shortly with the creamy delicacy, which Bheem gobbled in 5 bites, licking around his mouth for any leftovers. Sita smiled fondly at his antics.

‘So, what did you want to talk about?’

Bheem looked down & quickly repeated what he had told Ram, about his intentions to marry Jenny. In some ways, Sita’s thoughts would be more insightful here since she was the closest to Jenny here, after him.

When there was silence for the next few moments, Bheem looked up to find moistness in Sita’s eyes.

She cupped his face gently, and dropped an affectionate peck to his forehead.

‘Oh dear, you have no idea how happy that made me. I am sooo thrilled for my friend. And I am equally overjoyed for you, my sweet Bheem. You two deserve all the happiness in the world. May god save you from all evil eyes. My love and blessings will always be with you both.’

Sita held his hands, while saying all the prayers for the couple. Bheem couldn’t help but smile at this pure soul. Her nobility, her kindness, her wisdom, and her resolve was second to none. Truly, a goddess reincarnated. Sometimes, Bheem saw traces of his mother’s care and affection in her. He was very fond of Sita and always held her in high regard.

She was also as intuitive as his mother, quickly sensing his hesitation.

‘What’s troubling you, Bheem? Your smile isn’t fully reaching your eyes.’

‘Sita - you know her as well as I do. Tell me - is this the right time? Will I overwhelm her by asking now? Should I wait some more. I don’t…I am not going to do anything which causes her any stress.’

‘I will tell you what I feel. But before that, tell me, what does your heart say?’

‘I feel marriage is just a nomenclature for us now. We are already married in our hearts. But still, this is very important for me. And I know that she believes in marriage too. I just want her to be mine, in every way humanly possible. That’s what I feel.’

Sita smiled serenely at the adorable person she loved like a brother. They must have been siblings in a previous life.

She reached out and held his hand.

‘Here is what I think. She has been in this world for 21 years but she has truly lived in the last one year, since she has met you. And especially the last three months. Her hopes, fears, prayers, trepidations, pretty much all sentiments are linked to you, Bheem. She never thought this could be a reality, that you would ever love her back like she did. Every day, she thanks her stars for bringing you to her. Every effort she has made to assimilate and adapt here has all been for you.’

Bheem felt a lump in his throat, too overcome with emotion to say anything. She squeezed his hand lightly and continued.

‘Her time here has not been without challenges. You know that. But what you may not know is how much she appreciates you letting her navigate her own path. To make her own choices. Bheem - when you understood her hesitations about motherhood, it meant the world to her. When you let her fall, get hurt, get lost sometimes while learning this way of life, that support is all she needs. It shows her that you see her. You hear her. You understand her. You support her. You respect her. We all know how much that has hurt you, to let her go through any kind of pain, which is why she is all the more grateful. Her world begins and ends with you, my dear Bheem - there is no need to have any second thoughts.’

Bheem hung on to every word, smiling through his hazy eyes. Sita’s validation is what he needed. He had no doubt that Jenny loved him as unconditionally and irrevocably as he loved her. It hadn’t been easy but they had gotten here. What they had was so special, he couldn’t afford to make any stupid move to mess that up.

Grateful, he beamed back at Sita, who was wiping her eyes with her pallu and smiling like an idiot at the same time.

They brainstormed on how best to tell Jenny. And the things Bheem wanted to do to make the occasion even more special. Sita had a ton of ideas, Bheem loved them all. He had only two ideas but Sita cried again when she heard them. Clarifying between sobs that they touched her heart.

‘Oh Bheem, Jenny is so so lucky. Yes, please go ahead with both. I will help with the logistics.’

They were going to need at-least two days to execute the plan. Once all the details were finalised, Bheem looked at her earnestly.

‘I can’t thank Anna and you enough. Without you both, I would never have had the courage to do what I am going to do.’

‘One second, you asked Ram for suggestion? OUR RAM?’

‘Umm, yes?’

‘You do know he proposed to me when we were half asleep, after a harrowing day and a tumultuous fight, out of nowhere right?’

‘But you said yes, didn’t you?’

She sighed, resigned.

‘Yes. Yes, I did.’

‘I think that qualifies as mission accomplished.’

‘Yeah, whatever.’

They spent few more lazy moments together, then went their own ways. There was a lot to do.

Two days passed. And the D-Day was here.

Bheem was in Sita’s hut and they were cross-checking if everything was in place. Once Sita was satisfied, she kept the bag aside and held Bheem by his shoulders. Both smiled at each other. Both looked like absolute lunatics to Ram, who was observing their histrionics from a distance.

But when Sita put tilak on Bheem’s forehead and fed him some sweet curd, for good omen, Ram couldn’t help himself from chiming in.

‘Sita, he is not going on a war, for heaven’s sake.’

Both pair of eyes turned on him, Sita’s more annoyed than Bheem’s, obviously.

Ram looked away, muttering under his breath.

‘Bheem, ignore this robot. He can take his cynicism and shove it where the sun doesn’t shine. You go on. I will wait to hear the good news.’

After a comforting and reassuring hug from Sita, Bheem headed out, smiling at the faint bickering between Ram-Sita in the background. Holding the bag close to his chest. Trying to relive all the pep talk from the last few days, to not panic.

But alas, Jenny wasn’t in the hut. Where could she go at this time?

He looked around, trying to keep a lid on his paranoia. Just then, a neighbour told him she had seen her near the well in the village courtyard.

And there she was. Frolicking with toddlers in the makeshift pool created for them, since these children were too young to bathe in the stream or the river.

She had a one year old in her lap, who was too young to even dip in this pool. So, she was splashing him with tiny droplets while he was bouncing in her arms. The other kids took advantage of the distraction and splashed her with fists full of water. Their giggles sounded like a song of nature. A celebration of freedom. An expression of pure unadulterated bliss.

Bheem stood in the shadows, admiring the scene. He should take her swimming soon. Last time, the river current had been too much for Jenny. She was used to swimming in pools and lakes but not in running water. So she had clung to him the whole time, head to toe, not letting go for a second. The memory made him all fuzzy.

Bheem couldn’t wait anymore and called out to Jenny. She waved back happily, safely returned the infant to his mother, bid goodbye to the other kids and semi-hopped towards him. Just when he thought she couldn’t get any more adorable.

Seeing her with toddlers always tugged at his heart strings. A strange desire mixed with ache. A hope for a family, if and when the notion appeals to her.

‘Hello hello. Earth to Bheem. Where are you lost?’

They were walking back, hand in hand. Jenny was chattering away, but Bheem was too lost in his imaginations to register her pearly voice.

Pearly voice. Bheem was amused as to how he had an adjective for everything related to her.

‘You had a good day?’

‘Oh it was absolutely lovely. I was walking by and the kids just dragged me in. You could have joined us in the merrymaking.’

She elbowed him lightly, glancing up at him. He seemed a bit lost today and she wondered if everything was well.

‘I have other plans for us today. But before that, let’s get you changed. You are soaking wet right now.’

She hummed and rested her head on his shoulder, lacing their fingers together.

Upon reaching the hut, Jenny started to pick up a change of clothing, when Bheem gently held her wrist.

‘Umm I have brought something for you. A saree. Will you wear that for me?’

‘Awww my darling. That’s so sweet. Ofcourse I will wear it now. But, how come this all of a sudden? Anything special today?’

She wrapped her arms around his neck as he held her close and looked straight into her eyes.

‘Every moment with you is special. You make it special, by just being with me.’

He said it so earnestly, so matter-of-factly that she nearly forgot to breathe for a few seconds, losing her way in his eyes.

When she went to take out the garments from the bag, Bheem jumped & took the bag out of her reach, handing her the red blouse and petticoat sheepishly. She looked at him curiously, convinced that he was up to something, but decided to play along.

While she changed in the adjoining chamber, Bheem bounced around the hut, praying to all gods known to mankind. Praying to his parents, seeking their blessings.

He also did a few squats, push-ups to dissipate the nervous every plaguing his body. He was in the middle of a headstand when he heard the door open, losing his balance and falling flat on his face with a loud thud. Thankfully, she didn’t see any of it.

Jenny walked out, knocking the wind out of his chest. The red blouse, fitted to perfection, a perfect match for her radiant skin. The petticoat around her slender, smooth, curvy lower waist. Her damp hair dangling over one shoulder, while she ran her fingers through them to sort the messy strands.

‘Help me with this please? I can’t reach it.’

She turned her back to him, pointing to the thread to tie the blouse.

Bheem’s fingers slid up her part-bare back, of their own volition, and tied the thread gently. Checking on the sturdiness of the knot by pulling at it with his teeth. Enjoying her resulting shudder & goosebumps.

Sliding an arm over her waist, he turned her around, admiring her from head to toe. He was particularly proud of the fit of the blouse, given he had relied solely on his memory for the measurements. She realised it too & glanced away, trying to hide her fluster.

Finally, he pulled out the saree from the bag and she clapped in delight. It was a traditional Indian red & white saree. Jenny had been longing for one since she had seen it on a few women in Delhi during festivities. But only Sita knew about her fondness for it. And ofcourse she had told Bheem. Ofcourse.

Draping the saree was an adventure. Neither knew how to do it properly. Bheem knew the mechanics but actually doing the pleats was far more complicated than the concept of it. She helped however she could, letting her body loose like a doll for him to manoeuver, as he figured out which side to pull the pallu from. They laughed and giggled through it all.

The end result was quite close to a saree. Atleast that’s what they both insisted. Sita would have disagreed, ofcourse.

Bheem was far from being done. He sneaked into that suspicious bag again and pulled out a set of jhumkis, a waist chain, a red bindi and a gajra. Donning them all on her carefully, like she was made of rose petals.

Mesmerised, she just followed his movements. Every little thing he had picked to adorn her body was perfect. Stunning. He was dressing her up like a devoted priest would dress a goddess before the temple opening every morning. Readying her to be worshipped. The lump in her throat grew.

‘B-Bheem, all this….what’s happening?’

The way he looked at her then, she knew something momentous was going to happen.

Bheem held her hands, bringing them to his eyes first, and then to his lips, finally keeping them close to his chest, letting her feel his rapidly thumping heart.

‘Do you hear what it is saying?’

He pressed her hands further into his chest. She looked at him pleadingly, voice cracking in her throat.

‘Bangaram, it’s saying that it belongs to you, now and forever. For this life and the next six. You own my heart. You own my life. You own my soul, Jenny.’

Jenny leaned forward and lightly brushed her lips against his while pressing their foreheads together.

‘I…I know, my love.’

She whispered against his lips. Then stepped back to communicate the same through her eyes.

‘It is also scared. Not as scared as earlier, though, when it used to not feel deserving enough of you. Because you made it believe that you did love this fool back. You made the fears go away. You made it dream. You made it fly. You made it hope. You made it full. You made it worthy. You made it your home.’

Jenny tried hard to rein in her emotions but tears had started to drop from the corner of her eyes. He kissed away a few. She was shaking, as was he. They continued to cling to each other for support.

‘It’s scared because without you, it will suffocate to death. It won’t know how to function, how to get by. It doesn’t recollect what life used to be before you, or if that was any life at all. It can not imagine a life without you. You made it greedy, bangaram. Because now, it wants you fully. Exclusively. Forever.’

She desperately gripped his shoulder for support and started to respond, but he placed his palm over her lips.

‘If you say something now, I would lose the strength to continue. I am not good with words jaan, you know that.’

Jenny broke into a helpless giggle. Man had the audacity to say that after putting Jane Austen to shame with his ballad of love. But she nodded nonetheless, asking him to continue.

What he did next made her head reel.

Bheem went down on one knee, looking up at her with all the love he could muster.

‘I have wanted to do this since the day I told you I loved you. It felt right then. It feels right now. You are the light of my life, the centre of my universe, the reason for my existence. I want to grow old with you, Jenny.’

He pulled out the last item from the bag. A pair of gold-plated bangles that belonged to his mother. Jenny knew what those were; he had told her it was the only belonging of his mother that he had. That his father had given her on the day Bheem was born. It looked recently polished but Jenny was certain it was the same pair. Her heart threatened to burst out of her chest.

‘I know you know what these are and what they mean to me. All I can say is, you mean as much now, as she did. Amma would have loved for you to have these. I wish she was here. I wish she had given these to you herself. But I know she is smiling up there, watching over us.’

Jenny felt like she would combust any moment. She pinched herself a few times to ensure it wasn’t a dream.

‘Jenny Buxton, would you make me the happiest being to ever exist on this earth, by being mine forever? By….by being my wife?’

She fell down on her knees, throwing her arms around him, almost toppling him with the impact. She cupped his face and kissed him all over, like her life depended on it, whispering ‘yes’ with each kiss.

It took Bheem fifteen yes to finally believe it. When he did, he pulled her into his lap, kissing her back as desperately and passionately. When they parted after what seemed like an eternity, he held her wrists and slid the bangles lovingly on them.

He found her beautiful always. But today was extra special. No goddess, no angel, no divine being could match up to her glow today. He wanted her to see what he was seeing. So he took her in front of the full length mirror, that he had especially gotten for her (with immense efforts) when she had come to Adilabad.

She stood there, fiddling with the fabric and all the ornaments, quite pleased with herself too.

Strong arms wrapped around her waist from behind, as Bheem buried his head into the side of her neck, which she could both feel and see through the mirror. His fingers started to play with the chain on her waist, as he nibbled around her neck and shoulder.

‘You could wear this saree on our wedding. It has both red and white. To represent both our cultures and marriage traditions.’

Jenny had to close her eyes, and not just because she was feeling dizzy with all his ministrations. Every-time she thought this man couldn’t get any more thoughtful, he did something like this.

She traced his arm which was wrapped around her waist, playing with the hair there. While her other hand reached back to caress his bearded cheek. He immediately leaned into her palm, nuzzling against it.

‘I want to take your name.’

He paused and looked up. Their eyes met through the mirror.

‘I don’t wanna be Jenny Buxton after the wedding. I want to take your name. I want everything a married woman has with her husband. Everything.’

Jenny didn’t know why that statement generated such fire in Bheem. He seemed to be undressing her with his eyes now, through the mirror. She had to break the gaze and look away.

His hands became more urgent, more insistent, roaming all over, turning her into a hot mess.

‘Since you have to wear this attire on our wedding, maybe we should keep it safe and take it off, yes?’

‘Oh, ‘we’ should take it off is it?’

She managed to find her voice.

‘Yes. It’s a two-person job.’

‘Uh-huh.’

Bheem took it atrociously slow, taking his time to undo her piece by piece. Not letting her help. Pinning her wrists in one hand.

He planned to only leave the bangles on her.

Just then, a loud knock on the door interrupted his flow.

‘Anna - the recce team is back from Hyderabad. Should I tell them you will meet them now?’

Bheem took a few deep breaths. The messenger was just doing his job, he didn’t want to yell at him.

Jenny was amused, observing his reaction. Pressed up close to him, she felt the state he was in and knew he wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon.

‘Tell them I will come later.’

‘Ok. Should I tell them 15 minutes?’

‘15 MINUTES? Tell them one hour.’

He thought for a second, then called out again.

‘Actually, make that two hours. Go, tell them right now.’

The messenger scuttled away quickly, wanting to relay Bheem’s message ASAP.

And Bheem went back to celebrating his engagement with the love of his life. As planned, he left only the bangles on her. Loving the way they looked. The way they felt as she wrapped her arms around his neck. As her hands gripped his shoulders, his arms, his back, his face.

He just wanted to indulge in her attentions, immerse in her softness, drown in her love. Other things could wait. Other people could wait. Today was just for the two of them. The day that neither would forget for as long as they live. The day where they committed to be each other’s. Forever, and for always.

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That was it, folks. Hope you liked it. Would love to hear your thoughts, as always!

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tasavvur-e-jaana · 1 year

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Will you be my Valentine?

Old RRR drabble. A companion piece to 'Blessings Beneath the Stars'.

Not a love story, but a story about love.

Posting my old works after they were lost.

Hopefully still worth a read.

"Will you be my Valentine?" The younger man mapped out the words carefully, pausing after each syllable, as if tasting them on his tongue, leaving Ram suffocating with each uttered word. His breath was hitching, his throat closing, heart galloping a mile a minute as his mind worked out a million different scenarios where this was true. Alas! When did Ram ever get what he desired anyway? His eyes threatened to well up, the older man concentrating too much as if that would help keep his tear ducts in check.

"Aise hi kehte hain na Anna? Koi galti toh nahi kar raha hoon na main?" (These are the words, right? Am I pronouncing them correctly?)

The next voice, a clearer, deeper baritone brought Ram out of his pipe dream. Anna. Bhai. Bhaiya. It was extremely clear to the gond man where he stood on his relationship with Ram. He shook his head internally, his lips forming the most fake and widest smile they could which absolutely did not reach his eyes.

"Han Bheem. Bilkul theek kaha tumne. Bas zara himmat se poochna ab. Bina koi hichkichahat." (Yes Bheem. Absolutely correct. Now just say it with confidence.) His hands involuntarily reached to fix the bow tie for a millionth time even if it was perfect from the start. His thumb brushed the bow, fingers itching to touch the skin beyond the fabric just once, a pent up desperation that resurfaced once more, the close proximity and the fresh scent of the curly haired man not making it any easier.

Ram brushed his knuckles on the jaw as if to check one last time if the beard was trimmed properly and was still fluffy. Bheem giggling like a little girl at the cold touch of the slightly trembling hands. The younger man looked away, eyes cast down as he took Ram's hand from his face into his own. "Anna! Bas bhi karo! Kitna theek karoge? Main koi film ka nayak thode hi hoon?" (Anna! Let it be! How many times will you adjust it? I am not some hero of a movie.)

Tum kisi bhi hero se kai zyada khubsurat ho meri jaan! (You are far more handsome than any hero, my love!)

He wanted to say, to confess, to blurt out the words dancing on his treacherous tongue. The older man clenched tight to prevent them from escaping. He took a deep breath, chastising himself internally, yelling at his splintering heart to keep it together. Only a few minutes now and then he'd go into the forest and let it out. Only a few minutes. He could do that! He'd endured years of torture, what was a couple of measly moments?

"Shush!" He said out loud. "Sab perfect hona chahiye aaj ke liye." (Everything should be perfect for today.)

"Per-fect?" Bheem mumbled the words under his breath and was reminded how Jenny had taught him. "Aah!" He exclaimed, thrumming with exciting and nervous energy, "Jab mere perfect anna ne mujhe taiyaar kiya hai toh kaise nahi hoga sab perfect?" (When my perfect anna has groomed me then how will it not be perfect?) He beamed. And how Ram wanted to grab him at that moment and kiss him, shake him, to stop him. To let him know that Ram loved him more than anyone ever could… truly, deeply, madly, irrevocably. Ironically it was the precise reason Ram had to let him go. Not that it hurt less. But when did it ever? Ram and pain were entwined together more than any soulmates could be.

Nonetheless, Ram could not help the blush that crept its way up his cheeks, painting them crimson. He smiled. A partly genuine smile of course because how could he not when Bheem was a sight to behold- dressed in pale blue shirt with embossed check design on the softest cotton, with a dark grey trouser, a cute little matching bowtie and those suspenders. It was an outfit that he had gotten for the younger man when Bheem had gushed to Ram about asking Jenny on this valentine’s day. It was sort of their anniversary and Ram gave him the idea to wear western clothes for her. Not because he’d get to dress Bheem again and the fact that he looked absolutely ravishing in the form fitting attire.

“Kuchh bhi mat bolo Bheem! Tumhe Jenny ke saath flirt karna hai- uske liye bacha kar rakho yeh sab…” (You really don’t have a filter, do you? Save all this flirting for Jenny.) He faux reprimanded. The heaviness in his heart relieved a little at the joy emanating from Bheem. It was contagious, the happiness that the honey-eyed man spread around without even realising it, the older man feeling lighter, a little bit jubilant at his friend’s elation. Bheem pressed his hand once, which was still enclasped in the calloused, huge palms of the younger man, as Bheem retained all the sincerity in those wonderfully deep doe eyes as he began. “Ram,” he began, the older man’s heart skipping a beat and starting to once again. He was sure to die from arrhythmia because of Bheem one day.

“Shukriya. Maine kaha nahi aapse.” (Thank you. I didn’t say it before.)

“Bheem iski-” (Bheem it’s-) a palm on his lips stopped his words and his breath alike.

“Mujhe keh lene dijiye. Main samajhta hun aaj ka din mohabbat ko manaane ka din hai, haina?” Ram nodded, as the younger man took away his hand making Ram miss the warmth. “Chahe wo aashiqui ho, dosti ho, ya kuchh bhi. Pyaar ke kai roop hote hain aur mujhe lagta hai un sab ka apna tavajjuh hai. Koi bhi ishq kisi dusre se kam nahi. Toh aaj main aapse bhi yeh kehna chahta hun, main aap se bahot pyaar karta hun- hamesha hi karta rahunga. Aapki dosti mujhe jaan se bhi zyada aziz hai, Ram.”

(Let me say it. As I understand, today is the day to celebrate love, is it not? Be it amour, friendship, anything else. Love has many forms and I think they all are equally important. No love is lesser than the other. So, today, I want to convey this to you too. I love you- I will always love you. Your friendship is dear to me more than my life, Ram.)

Suddenly Ram was engulfed in one of the trademark Bheem bear-hugs. Those hugs had the power to cure every ailment. And Ram was held so tight, his heart which was torn and tattered and wounded, began to heal. How could he ever be a thorn in the way of happiness of such a pure being? How could he ever demand Bheem be only his? To Ram, this was the moment he realised he would bury his feelings deep, because there was no point. He could be fine, admiring Bheem from afar, being his close friend, his confidante, his support and his wingman till he was needed. The younger man’s contentment was paramount.

He clutched the gond man tight, relishing every morsel of affection bestowed on him, cherishing the little moments, fully aware that life would only grant him so much. And that it had to be enough. Amongst all the life’s curveballs that had come his way, meeting Bheem was the most unexpected and the most amazing of them all. After all said and done, the curveballs within the curveballs of their journey- it was a loop really, Ram had been extremely grateful that Bheem had chosen to be his friend. If not more.

"Bheem main-", (Bheem I-) they separated, the older man reluctant to let him go, still holding him by the waist.

"Anna!" An interruption. "Jenny akka aapko kab se dhundh rahi hain aur aap abhi tak yahin ho?" (Jenny akka is looking for you and you are still here?) A breathless Lacchu stopped just a few feet short of the embracing duo. Ram loathed his timing, cursing under his breath, his hands slipping away to his sides, his head hung low. Leave it to Lacchu to ruin his special moments. He wanted to glare at the newcomer, but finally after what felt like an eternity he was beginning to tolerate his presence, his friendship with Bheem. Ram absolutely didn't want to jeopardize that.

"Offo! Der ho gayi!" (Oops. I’m late!) Bheem turned in a blink ready to leave, Ram plastered a wide grin on his face to wish him all the luck, not that he needed it. Before he could, the gond man turned once again, facing Ram, looking at him with utmost excitement, “Ek baar aur dekh lo. Sab sahi hai na?” (For the last time, is everything alright?)

Ram laughed, a pearly laugh that sounded strange even to his ears, Lacchu smirking knowingly in the background. He ran his fingers through those soft styled curls once more, making them more unruly and fluffier if it even was possible, a halo around the honey-eyed man- how could he not? It was the perfect opportunity. “Bahot sundar lag rahe ho Bheem.” (You are very handsome Bheem.) He could not keep it in, eyes growing moist again, lips turning infinitesimally down as his hand slipped away. What Bheem did next was so unexpected that Ram nearly had a heart attack. “Shurkiya!” (Thank you!) He yelled with unbridled enthusiasm and pecked Ram on the cheek as he ran off to meet waiting Jenny across the dusty path paved in the greens.

Ram smiled softly, his eyes twinkling as he brought his hand to his cheek, which was tinged with red at Bheem’s gesture, the fingers then pressing demurely, a feather soft touch on his lips-

"Ishq bhi badi kutti cheez hai, hai na?" (You're so far gone, huh?) Ram was startled by the familiar voice. Shit! He'd totally forgotten about Lacchu who was still standing there. Ram turned away, kicking the ground. The dust swirled around and settled in a moment, a patch of semi dried grass uprooted. Now that Bheem was gone, the melancholy returned. All the thoughts that his positivity was keeping at bay came rushing in like the waters when the doors of the dam are opened.

“Han, han! Tum bhi Jale hue pe namak chhidak ne ke maze le lo!" (Kick a man when he’s down, why don’t you?) he quipped and instantly regretted it. He opened his mouth to apologise the next moment only to be countered by the younger man.

“Kuchh logon ki tarah meri woh aadat nahi hai. Tum jaante hi ho." (Unlike some people, I don’t do that.) A simple statement that cut him deep. A self-deprecating chortle rang empty in the woods, Ram trying to laugh his pain away. His eyes met Lacchu's and to his surprise, Ram found the younger man serious, not at all mocking contrary to his usual patented Cheshire cat grin when he's making fun of Ram or belittling him.

"Mujhe maaf karna. Kisi aur jagah ka rosh kahin aur nikal gaya." (I am sorry. It’s just that I am not processing it right. I am frustrated with something else entirely.)

"Aaj ke liye kshama hai tumhe." (I forgive you. Only for today.) It was yet another surprise that Ram was not ready for. It must have been apparent on his taken aback expression because Lacchu chuckled. “Kya? Insaaniyat ke naate keh raha hun, yeh na samjhna ke tumhe puri tarah se maaf kar diya hai.” (What? Don’t think I don’t hate you or have forgiven you for anything else, this is purely on humanitarian basis.)

“Lekin tumhe kaise?” (But how did you know?) Ram was perplexed. He had tried immensely hard not to reveal his true emotions. But he really should not be surprised. Lacchu was a keen observer after all.

“Main bhi isi naav mein sawaar hun, Ram.” (I am sort of in the same boat, Ram.) The gond man solemnly stated. “Aur main andha nahi hun.” (Plus, I have eyes.)

“KYA? Tum- Bheem-” (WHAT? You- Bheem-)

Lacchu laughed hard, almost doubling over, tears in his eyes. “NAHI!” (NO!) He howled, “Ewww! Tum aisa soch bhi kaise sakte ho? Duniya mein aur insaan nahi hain kya?” (How can you even go there? There are other people in the world, you know!)

Ram was sheepish. Well, it was only Bheem who was constantly riding his thoughts. He was consumed by the man and Bheem- he stopped the thought right there. “Toh phir kaun?” (Then who?)

“Tha koi. Lekin main toote hue dil ka dard jaanta hun, khaas kar tab jab woh tumhare samne hi rahe.” (There was someone. But I do know the pain of a broken heart. Especially when they are always in front of you, in your life.)

“Hmm… ajeeb baat hai na? Itne sare log jo mujhe chahte hain, izzat bhi karte hain, apna maante hain. Aur ek tum hi ho, jo nafrat karta hai mujhse, jiske saath iss tarah se ek raabta ban raha hai. Tum hi ho jo meri vidambna samajh sakte ho.”

(Hmm… it’s ironic, isn’t it? All the people who love me, revere me, think of me as their own. And only you, who loathes me, can understand my plight. Only you can get what I am going through.)

“Oh toh hum wahan jaa rahe hain?” (Oh, we’re going there, are we?) Lacchu mumbled. Then as if something struck him, he rubbed his hands together, striding in the direction of the deeper jungle. “Chalo mere saath.” (Come with me.)

“Kahan?” (Where?)

Lacchu turned around, running towards the huts, his own which was not far away from Bheem’s, shouting, “Ruko main aata hun.” (Wait. I’ll be right back.) He returned in a few quick moments with a leather-cover in his hand. “Main yeh bina madad nahi kar sakta.” (If I’m going to do this, I need external help.) And initiated his trek again into the foliage. Ram wordlessly followed.

They walked for a while in the dense lush greenery until their path was blocked by a humongous teak tree. Lacchu started to climb the rope ladder and Ram followed, both settling on the machaan (tree house) on the study branches. The atmosphere was serene, sunlight playing the most alluring game of light and shadows with its evening colours of orange, red and pink with the vivid emeralds in the leaves. Ram was mesmerised.

“Itna waqt bitaya hai maine yahan phir bhi har jagah nayi lagti hai. Utni hi khubsurat, utni hi mohak.” (So many months spent in this place but everything still seems new. Still beautiful, still mesmerising.)

Lacchu meanwhile was rolling up a joint, the smell of weed wafting in the air as he opened the packet. He was sitting beside Ram, his legs dangling down the wooden floor, one hand flat on the back supporting his back. He lit it, taking a puff, replied. “Mujhe toh saalon ke baad bhi yehi lagta hai. Aasan hai, kudrat se mohabbat karna.” (I feel that even after years now. It is easy. To love nature.) He continued, taking another one, offering it to Ram who politely declined. He shrugged. “Bas insaan mujhe pechida lagte hain. Prakriti bilkul sateek hai. Tum use chaaho, woh tumhe zaroor chaahegi.” (It is only humans that I find cumbersome, complicated. Nature is simple in a way. Love it and it will reciprocate.)

Ram smiled. “Kya tum isiliye laaye ho mujhe yahan? Mera dil behlane ke liye?” (Is that why you have brought me to this place? To deflect my mind?) Lacchu nodded. “Kyun?” (Why?)

“Yaar tum sawal bahot karte ho.” (Man! Do you ask a lot of questions.) Lacchu offered the lit doobie to the older man. “Lo. Piyo ise. Kai cheezein saaf dikhai dengi.” (Come on. One puff. Things will be clearer.) Ram thought, what the fuck, taking a drag and coughing up immediately, his eyes watering, his lungs burning up with the smoke. “Aram se.” (Slowly.) Lacchu patted his back, taking the joint back from him. Ram settled down eventually, his eyes red rimmed, as he brushed off the tears.

“Paani hai yahan?” (Water?) he rasped. Lacchu pointed him to a corner where there was one earthen pot with a clay mug. Ram gulped down the cool liquid, coming back, sitting cross-legged away from the edge.

“Ek baat kahun tumse?” (Can I say something?) The younger man began, not really waiting for Ram to respond. “Tumhe Bheem ko bata dena chahiye. Jo tumhare mann mein hai.” (Tell Bheem. Tell him what you feel about him. Everything.)

“Kya? Ke main usse pyaar karta hun? Uske saath rehna chahta hun? Tum pagal toh nahi ho gaye ho? Kitna maal phoonk liya jab tak main paani pi raha tha?” (What? That I am in love with him? That I want to be with him? Have you gone completely mad? How much did you smoke while I went for a glass of water?) He jested.

“Han. Woh sab jo tum uske liye mehsoos karte ho. Pura pura izhaar kar do. Main tajurbe se keh raha hun. Andar hi andar ghut kar marne se achha hai ke ek baar mein hi manjhra tamaam ho jaaye.” (Yes. Everything. All your emotions, your desires. I am advising by self experience. It is better to rip off the bandaid once than to die a little every single day.)

“Aur kya? Bheem ko kho dun? Hamesha ke liye?” (And then what? Lose Bheem? Forever?)

“Woh tumse pyaar karta hai Ram. Shayad us tarah nahi jis tarah tum karte ho lekin utni hi shiddat se jitna tum usse. Kabhi na kabhi toh use pata chalna hi hai. Behtar hai tum khud hi bata do. Tumhara raabta, tumhari dosti har woh musibat, har woh mushkil se ho kar guzri hai ke itne se iqraar se nahi tutegi.”

(He loves you, Ram. Maybe not in the way you do but no less intense. With the same fervour. And he will come to realise sooner than later. It is better if it comes from you. Your relationship, your bond, it has passed every damned test there could be and is still going strong. I don’t think it will break with this confession.)

The words pierced profoundly within Ram’s soul. The fact that Lacchu was saying them gave them a sound meaning because he knew this was a man who did not mince his words, his emotions. He was the one to say it straight, without any hesitance, with complete honesty which frankly was terrifying at times. This was one such instance. The rationale was settling in the older man’s mind, the cogs reeling in the direction, the only dilemma was- why was Lacchu being kind to him? Obviously, he was a wonderful, compassionate human but it was never directed at Ram before now. It was only for a couple of weeks that the younger man had been less testy, almost neutral in Ram’s vicinity. The last conversation they had was when Lacchu had given Ram the ultimatum that he would forgive Ram when he would and Ram had wordlessly and readily accepted that.

“Kya tum ab bhi yeh sab insaaniyat ke naate kar rahe ho?” (And you are still doing this for humanitarian purposes?) he had to know.

“Bilkul. Humara aapsi masla jo bhi ho, main tumhe ya kisi ko bhi itni maayus halat mein nahi dekh sakta. Kya karun? Accha aadmi jo hun!” (Of course. We may have our problems, but I cannot see someone this desolate and heart broken all the damn time. Can’t help it. I’m a good person after all.) He chuckled, making Ram’s lips turn upwards. The older man felt a hand on his shoulders then, he turned to see Lacchu grabbing his shoulder in solidarity.

Another memory floated beneath his eyelids, another time, when Lacchu had placed his hand on his shoulder in a similar manner, only then, it was a desperate plea for help and now, it was one of assurance. How the roles had reversed! However this time, Lacchu was not betraying Ram as he had done to the younger man. Ram could see it in his eyes, the earnest expression, the heartfelt offer. Even if the younger man would vehemently deny it, there was a flicker of forgiveness that Ram caught in the dark orbs that made him look away. He really did not deserve such altruism from anyone, let alone this man. It only made him respect Lacchu more, the will power, the virtue, the morals he had.

“Shukriya Lacchu. Main iss kabil toh nahi ke tumhe kuchh bhi-” (Thank you, Lacchu. I am not even worthy of your-)

“Shushhh… maahol mat kharab karo ab.” (Hush now. Don’t ruin my buzz.) Ram conceded, asking for the joint instead, taking a puff slowly this time, getting the hang of it as he released the smoke in the air. Lacchu grinned at him, pleased with himself, his smug face loving each second of the buzz.

The two men sat there silently after that, exchanging nothing but the drags until the cigarette burned out, watching the sun go down on the horizon. Ram may not have found his love on the day of valentine, but he did find a beautiful human being he could connect with. Someone who understood him better than he himself at times, someone who treated him like a normal person and not a hero, or a leader, or a brother. Someone who gave him reality checks when needed and was not at all interested in coddling him. They were absolutely not friends, just two men who had stumbled upon the complexities of life and love and lost- finding their way back.

Not making a taglist because, well, most people I knew are not so involved anymore.

Comments are always appreciated.

#doodles fics #rrr #rrr movie #ram rrr #lacchu rrr #bheem rrr #soft #jenny rrr #bheemjenny #valentine's fic #but not romantic #rrr fandom #rambheem

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