#beyond it all do you recognize me?
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every time I think about Asuka for just a bit too long, it awakens within me a deep sense of doom, longing, and activates my worst neuroses. Ah, yes, othered by the world despite being lauded as a "Genius" with no real say in the matter, thinking that surely if you just play the role, take advantage of your abilities, and make yourself as small as possible you will be in control of everything. You are smart. You are able. You can use this ability to fill the gaps that your total dedication to being Smart and Able has caused. No one has to be hurt no one has to leave, I can use my Ability to figure this out. I can make Frederick immortal, I can save Aria, I can't save Aria, I can bring her back. That isn't Aria anymore. That isn't Frederick anymore. But they're here, they can be together. That's what they wanted. That's what I wanted. Everything is fire and ashes but I can fix it. Please wait, I am Smart and Able. I can fix it. Let me fix it. Who am I? It doesn't matter. It's never mattered. In fact, I can just make a better me, and fix it.
I have to go to the moon.
#sairambles#guilty gear#asuka r kreutz#sorry I was possesed by the spectre of what once was and wrote this post#beyond it all do you recognize me?
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the last unicorn post from earlier has me thinking about the master. that yana is still in there, you know? is still someone he was, if even for a brief flash across the life of a time lord. there’s no way to unlive that life. there are ways to twist it later, sure, to make utopia into hell on earth. but the life was lived. in much the same way that the doctor can remember, can feel, the love he held onto as john smith even as that life is ripped out of his hands. the doctor choose denial and then grief and then to shutter it all away. and so john smith died, and so professor yana died, and the doctor and the master live on. the doctor has done this before, and he lives in orbit around humanity, trying to keep the best parts of them and hold them deep enough to take root (which he can pretend he gets to choose, as a time lord. as a human, it all floods in and can’t be dug back out.) but what about the master, right?
to borrow a turn of phrase: i think there are two time lords left in the universe, and they both learned how to regret.
#regret here meaning less feeling the emotion of actual regret obviously because time lords do not actually funxtion on unicorn rules. they#already get sad just fine on their own. no humanity needed for that.#but i dont know. i just dont think he brushed it off so easily. i think he did a hell of a job convincing himself he did.#and what better way then to twist his own great works and destroy the species he was working so hard to save at the end of the universe.#but what about the knowledge that he *could* be that person. that somewhere in him exists a version that wanted to save people.#a version that is painfully too much like the doctor. even. now is that part worse or better than the human part?#but if past regenerations are ghosts i think yana deserves a haunt.#anyway maybe ignore this one im rambling about nothing here#theres just. i dont know. what if you were the last of your kind and in surviving you made yourself Not Like Them in a way you’ll never#escape.#i mean doctor who is just so concerned with all these plots about hybrids and children of the tardis and clones and What Makes A Time Lord.#but they’re so obsessed with it in just. a very Lore way. is what it feels like. we get brushes of more like with jenny and how she’s#physically a time lord and the doctor denies her that inheritance. a shared suffering…#but me myself im just fascinated with the doctor and the master as the time lords who survived. but they survived Wrong#its. its. children of gallifrey that don’t belong to her anymore. you know?#i dont care if river’s got time lord dna!!! or the metacrisis is physically human!!! i dont care!!! talk to me about what it means beyond#their blood and bones!!! what’s it like to have your sense of self stripped from you like that!!!#what’s it like when so much of you is the shed skin of time lords past. but one of you was human. one of you was painfully *humiliatingly*#human!!!#enough about how much dna you need to count as a time lord. i want to know how much they can mutate until they can’t be recognized as one.#does that make sense?
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a lot of windmill jokes make it evidently clear that the person making them has not, in fact, read the ingenious adventures of the hidalgo don quixote de la mancha
#irisposts#did we all just forget the part where don quixote can very much recognize that the windmills are windmills once he sees them#he gets scared at first because he doesnt get a clear look at them and isnt used to it#but once he knows that its windmills he backs off on the giant accusations#he accuses a lot of things of being giants really! windmills are just one of many#and then the second time windmills come up its because he cant see it he can only Hear it#and he gets scared of the noise because he doesnt know what its coming from#and then when he finds out its windmills and sancho laughs at him he malds about it#like 'please can you just fucking let me know if its windmills again next time. we Cant keep doing this'#don quixote is a failman with a fuckton of things wrong with him. you can make fun of him in ways beyond the one joke i promise
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Actually is there any cure to feeling like I'm a failure of a person if I don't keep posting fic regularly. Like I know this is not a job or anything. It's just for fun. But with how most people comment only within a day or two of when something is posted, I end up with weeks and weeks of no comments, even when the hits on my works still go up, so it makes me feel rather forgotten.
Like idk. This is probably just feeling worse bc im apparently phenomenally neurotic today. But I wish people commented on older fics more.
#speculation nation#like it's not in my head it's the same thing. everyone experiences it.#theres a spike in new comments for the first day or two. by day 3 id be lucky to get 1 or 2. and beyond that?#well i do get some Sometimes but it's usually the stragglers in reading an update or the rare wonderful person who comments as they read#highlight on the rare. ive only had a handful of these types of people. wonderful when it happens. but it's not the rule.#no after day 4 of posting something new comments drop off into practically nothing. even as hits and kudos still go up.#so it's hard to not feel shitty about it. why do people think it's so bad to interact with older things?#it makes me feel like i Have to keep posting things just to have my writing be recognized.#and logically i know it's not like ppl dont love it anymore. clearly at least a few do.#the people who are supportive on my posts or reach out to me about it. you know.#but overall... idfk. mass majority of readers just dont interact after the first few days. if at all.#and it makes me feel so forgotten. like i have to be a fast fashion poster always and forever to keep ppl's attentions.#i dont want to write under that pressure. im so tired. and im Still grieving.#idk. i just feel so under appreciated. even though i know im one of the lucky ones with how sweet my readers are.#it's just... hard. when the vast majority of my readers dont bother to give back to me. even a little bit.#idk. i should probably stop thinking about it. im just making myself sad.
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#if you are incapable of accepting any critique of charles' performance please at least have the courtesy to stay the fuck away from my inbox#like yeah the car is understeer#the car has no front end#the car doesn't turn#the weather is shit#the car is undrivable#he is still the one who is driving it knowing all of the above#cuntos is still driving it knowing all of the above#if you want to try pushing beyond the limit then you risk doing what he did yesterday in quali and today during the race#I. GET. IT.#sf-23 belongs in the trash#ferrari are a clown team#I. GET. THAT. SUCKS.#charles' actions are still his own#and you know... it's okay to be a major charles fan and believer and supporter and still recognize that he still has room for improvement#that he has made mistakes this race weekend and this season that he should not have#lmao 'all that happened was his endplate came off bc the car wouldn't steer and then it wrecked his floor'#remind me who is behind the wheel of the car when that happened#that's right#charles and no one else#sure it was a small error#but it was an error#and you're delulu if you think charles hasn't contributed to some of his own misfortunes this season#ferrari's incompetence has been unacceptable#the car is unacceptable#but how can you be a charles fan and think THIS is the level of performance he should have??#he's so much better than this#mentally he is capable of so much better than this#elle.txt
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feeling nostalgic and watching utube reactors discover classic songs and then feeling both old and incredulous
#1980s music#like someone watching blondie's rapture and then stopping to go 'oh it reminds me of something it's so familiar'#different people (all younger) do this all the time and it can be infuriating#like it's an older song - did it ever occur to you that maybe what you're thinking of ... took inspiration from THIS song????#although in that case it was rather grandmaster flash and the nyc rap scene bc of course that's what the song was referencing#it's the boss baby meme but in music form#and i know i'm guikty of it too but at least in the correct direction - looking back to things that came before#not being aghast that a beat they've heard s thousand times was sampled from an old song that copied an older song lol#i will say that it is SO weird to me that peopke who say they are into hiphop never seem to reference the rap from my youth#like the late 70s and 80s sound that everything after is built on#and it's not like i know a lot about it beyond watching yo mtv raps at night lol#but i had to watch kids struggle to recognize the warren g regulate sample from michael mcdonald#like SO much of the early sampling era was just tons of samples of old records - anything they didn't have to pay for#and then listening to things and going oh this sounds like the weeknd - bro the weekend sounds like 80s songs#he sings and structures the songs in similar ways to classic tracks rather than the current trend (sometimes)#gah i'm just ranting here rather than in some poor utubers comments#i wish i had some fellow old folks to jabber with#but even when i was in high school i didn't have any friends that liked the same kind of music as i did#bts getting me more interested in music and watching videos has really been a double-edged sword sigh#everything with a live studio band with bass in it: 'oh this sounds like disco'#or worse something literally built off a disco sample and it's like they've never heard a disco song other than ymca in their life
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played the fangame danganronpa another with a friend and i didn't really like the ending but i very much enjoyed mekaru bc she's just woman byakuya togami. i'm going to talk a lot in the tags now
#the translation was kinda weird and bad but you get used to it after a while#i do plan on playing the sequel just cause me and my friends enjoy playing murder mysteries#oh uh spoilers beyond this point i'm gonna give some hot takes for. the 3 followers that care about dangit grandpa#anyway uh. ending. yeah i'm definitely biased bc i don't really like sad endings for the most part#but i didn't really. like it.#i'm not really opposed to the idea necessarily of the protagonist NOT being a survivor it's definitely interesting#but given that this game's take on hope vs despair is that 'hope is created not found'#i thought it kinda sucked that they just left maeda/utsuro to die despite obviously being the one suffering the most#also i didnt. like. kisaragi much. him/his alter ego being the epic savior in the end sucked bad not gonna lie#i thought he was really interesting in his initial appearance bc he was someone who Knew what was happening#but was rendered unable to communicate any of it bc of his brain damage#but then he dies (which was expected wasn't really upset about it) and from there you only have flashbacks to go off of#and then he's just kinda boring#it'd be one thing if he was a heroic reliable person we knew from the start but he's just this. guy that shows up in chapter 5#and we get told he's like the best we should trust him and believe in him but. like. idk this guy! it didn't feel earned#anyway kinjou was. a character. for sure.#i liked his arc and all but when they revealed in the ending that Oh actually his beliefs on crime haven't changed at all lol<3#he still only thinks in extremes even after all that mess about recognizing the murders were done in gray area circumstances#so like what was that all FOR#also. like. Goddddd. GODDDD. AKANE TAIRA. UGH#when she gets revealed as the mastermind and she's like going crazy off the walls sillygoofy despair lady I thought she was really fun!!!#i enjoyed her quite a lot!!!!#but then utsuro gets involved and she's just immediately extremely pathetic#she just immediately loses all presence bc she just stops taking any authority as the mastermind and is like ouwuoiuuh utsuro samaaaa#i thought her being a maid but actually is a girlboss would be a FUN SUBVERSION but nah we just have peko pekoyama 2: evil this time#like when are we gonna be done with the trope of Woman is cool and powerful until Man shes subservient to is involved and then she's a wuss#it sucks it SUUUUCKS#utsuro himself is. fine. he's basically just bootleg izuru but i didn't really mind that i thought his origins were kinda interesting#anyway i'm out of tags so i guess that's the end of my hot takes#i liked the individual cases! i liked mekaru! ending was kinda bad. goofbye
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if i say the gravity (asuka's theme) from strive reminds me of dune
does that mean anything
#guilty gear#guilty gear strive#asuka r kreutz#dune#“innocents lied to just to spare them”#“as if a divine truth seeker arises”#“the reality of truth”#“did the sun ever defy fate”#“beyond it all do you recognize me”#have i finally lost it#mypost
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Poets of the Fall - Children of the sun
#music#poets of the fall#I've been dealing with anxiety for the past few days#well I deal with it on a regular basis but it's been more than the usual#even for doing the stupidest things like going out the other day#to take a stroll and go to a flower market - something that wasn't an obligation at all#that I wanted to do for fun and that I definitely should have enjoyed without any negative feeling#and yet there they were without even any specific reason nagging and messing with me (that's what it does after all)#I decided on a whim to play potf songs while walking and they accompanied me through my walk#and they helped me so freaking much to relax and truly enjoy the moment#especially this song - I've been listening to potf for a while but still haven't covered their entire discography#and that day was the first time I heard this song - and while now I have tears in my eyes listening to it again#that day it truly gave me a sense of peace and contentment#this band is really something else - something I can rarely find in music and in art in general#I couldn't even describe what it is if you asked me but it goes beyond making excellent music#maybe I can't describe it because it's more personal - some of their songs resonate deep inside me#with something that you recognize and somehow feel like they belong with you? with who you are and what you feel and want#and it took and still takes time to discover and know something new about them like I do with myself#and the best thing is that in moments like these I appreciate not only that I find something new#but the journey I am taking to discover it and it's something that doesn't happen very often with me#and it almost feels like their songs are taking me by the hand during this process#💗#video
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Honestly there's nothing wrong with chicklit as a genre. There's nothing wrong with romance. Nothing wrong with smut or erotica. Nothing wrong with incorporating common tropes, even "fan fic" tropes. Nothing wrong with reading purely for entertainment. Nothing wrong with books not being literary, or with people not reading literary books -
But what's frustrating is the moment a writer criticizes booktok for the impact it's had on the current market, or tries to discuss the implications of there being so many writers right now who can't write becoming six-times New York Times bestsellers or whatever just because they write chicklit and have a lot of followers on tiktok, or laments the fact that these same writers are being handed a list of tropes from their editors to design a novel around meanwhile other authors who will never be published have stories they've been working on, trying to perfect and dying to share for years or even decades, or wishes literary writers weren't struggling so much to get published despite their stunning work just because so few people appreciate that level of craft -
People assume you're a pearl-clutching puritanical pretentious snob who hates women for wanting to read about sex and love and is probably a fascist who thinks declining literacy is the downfall of the west or whatever anyway.
It's so depressing.
#I don't even feel that comfortable trying to talk about it despite it meaning so much to me#because literally there is basically no one I follow anymore who doesn't occasionally reblog some post or another#that points fingers at the pretentious snobs who won't let people enjoy things#like I don't get it. We all mock the people who take selfies with art at the moma with the caption 'paintings we think we could do'#because we recognize that those same people don't appreciate art as a craft beyond pretty pictures to look at#and we all used to mock the 'the curtains were just blue' mentality too because we recognized writing is more than#the literal words on the page -#and overnight it seems suddenly you're a misogynist and fascist if you view writing as an art and not just a product for consumers
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:T
'I was raised/abused by people who used their illness as an excuse to be horrific towards others and said I wasnt ALLOWED to question it (because then I'd be Obstinate, and go to hell)'
and 'then I was abused by someone who used their illness as an excuse to be horrific towards others and said I wasn't ALLOWED to question it (because then I'd be a Bigot, and everyone will hate me when I tell them)'
Sure does explain so much about me.
Turns out:
- Didn't go to Hell for being Obstinate
- Extended family laughed and high fived me for joining the 'canceled by XYZ' club
So while I am perhaps oversensitized to "abusing the good will/sympathy of others"
I see that those who do this are in the real hell.
And I've seen how it comes crashing down so so SO slowly.
Abusing the sympathy of others results in people who are wary of extending that sympathy ever again. It's a net crueler world, no matter how much you say "NO NO ONE WOULD EVER DO THAT!"
They do, people take advantage of good will/sympathy. Especially when you can exploit that sympathy for control.
People do it without realizing it too, and enabling that only makes it worse. Protecting the 'abuser'/abuser in the name of "we gotta say it never happens to immanetize the eschaton!" is its own Cruelty.
You're gonna damn each other if you put yourself in a place where people are too fearful to tell you you're being unfair. Claiming '-ism' like a YuGiOh trap card [especially to people who are victimized by that -ism, RIP] is a fantastic way to do that.
People learn to ignore the ableism accusations or treat it like a joke. And it's not JUST bigotry, as neat of a solution as it sounds. Someone comes out with a Caard of all their mental illnesses and I'm asking myself 'why' not because GRRR HATE MENTALLY ILL, but because there is still a motivation there.
'If you ask why someone would do that you're a bigot!' okay so are they trying to establish that they want special treatment or needs. I am excessively empathetic to that.
But it's not 'I forget about messages sometimes [And if you werent mentally ill it'd OBVIOUSLY be because you just dont care?*] or might infodump [on nerd websites? How dare you!*]', it's "Here's the disorder I say I have according to the description I give of it, if it's contrary to any knowledge, experience, or literature on the subject it's because you're a bigot."
Personally I just try to treat everyone assuming they COULD be ill, I find everyone could use kindness. I think that's a better model, but the neurodivergent are uniquely suffering or whatever.
"It's not that I want special treatment, I just want to be the same as everyone else gets to be" You are imagining an ideal that does not exist. Even the fabled Neurotypicals are deserving of things like Patience.
See to me it looks like you're only willing to offer those kind of things to people who will tell you their psychiatric histories. My experience with people who have done the caard thing has so regularly been such! Whereas my experience with people who have severe illness [a majority of my friends] are much more *example* or *event* focused.
#theres a third part where someone attempted to do that#and it was harmful to the friend group and only got worse and worse over time as everyone was scared of#one person inconsistently attacking others for percieved slights#I was far enough from the sun to avoid consequences of the implosion and y'know#I really don't think theres a solution to this other than just ignoring the 'youre being ableist by saying I cant steal!!'#Got like 30 witnesses that can affirm that it was bullshit. I could produce a thick dossier proving the parties here are what I say#Got a few 10s of Thousands of hours spent considering 'was I actually in the wrong' and man#All evidence and affirmation and therapy and meditations point to 'why didnt I stop it sooner'#makes me question my skepticism wondering why this keeps happening to me#possible event 4 comes and nah. not again. what a shame. but I am not giving a chance beyond evidence again man#Part of me wants to ignore red flags but I think that part of me might just be blind#and how have I sacrificed worthwhile friendships because I didnt want to abandon someone?#how many times did I recognize that my description inspired fear/anxiety in my friends and take that as affirmation#without extending that affirmation to 'you need to do something!!'#how many times do I scream where few can hear instead of disengaging?#how many times have i let the 'I dont want to be a bad or cruel person'#override everything telling me to run or fight?#be a social fawn you wont hate yourself for it! you can complain on tumblr or to your closest friends instead!#yet the complaining never calms the feeling I am betraying myself!#either betraying the part of me who fears the hell my 'friends' are creating for themselves#or betraying the part of me who has a fucking right to fight and be obstinate#What solution exists where I dont feel like Im betraying myself in some way?
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Just spent over an hour searching for the static Ho-oh in the overworld and suddenly Ryuji taking literal years to reunite with his family makes sense to me now
#mel's musings#forest for the tree#the joke is that during his deadbeat era he was off doing the exact same thing. hunting for legendary pokemon to show his daughter#at least my ho-oh was stuck in one spot. HE on the other hand had to find that bastard roaming. makes sense it took so long#denise's dad is an enigma to me. he's not a bad dude at his core but he has VERY misguided ways of showing he cares#case in point: trying to make dena happy by helping her meet the pokemon she's been fascinated with since childhood#except this idea was born from him just straight up abandoning her and her mom. which is THE root of almost all her Issues™#he also lacks emotional maturity and is utterly incapable of seeing things beyond his own perspective sometimes#when his arguments with jen reach a breaking point he takes it as a sign she doesn't love him anymore#rather than recognizing they're both impatient by nature and not the best communicators and probably got married too young#and instead of analyzing his own feelings or talking them out with her (or you know. going to therapy) he just. leaves#his decision IS motivated by love in a way. because he thinks she'd be happier without him. but it's mostly just insecurity and fear#and he does feel bad that little dena got caught in the crossfire. so he tries to make it up to her in his own way#dena's conflicting feelings about his re-entry into her life is a WHOLE other can of worms to be honest#because she doesn't even realize how angry she is with him until she sees him again. she doesn't forgive him right away#but she's at least willing to give him the chance to prove himself again. bc that 10 year old girl who wanted her dad back never died ;_;#why is it that every time i try to be funny on tumblr dot com i end up writing emotional ass meta instead. how does this always happen#this was supposed to be a joke about dena's ho-oh hunt going about as well as her dad's. like father like daughter or some shit yk#ANYWAY that ho-oh sucks and i hope he lands on a stealth rock. good riddance#mel plays scarvi
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[id: the first image is a reply by @.demilypyro that reads: That doesnt sound very cis
the second image is a reply by @.homosexualmorelikehomiesexual that reads: respectfully adding to this in agreement with op: i think its true that no, it DOESNT sound very cis, but thats bc according to the very same gender system that sucks so much, anyone who disagrees or complains about it is Other, and i think thats......part of the exact problem op is talking abt..? so yeh idk. speaking as a trans person myself- op youre valid youre right and you should say it i support you go cis boy go
#this is what i call cis+ #youre cis but youve seen the void. the truth. and then you pulled back and went Ok Got It. Keeping My Gender Though #which i think is just as respectable. like amen #consciously opting into your assigned gender when you know you don’t actually have to..... #thats cis plus. cis prime. cis upgraded. you feel? /end]
I’m a cis man sure but i also wanna opt out of the gender binary. None of that shit is my fault or my responsibility and i don’t want any part of it
#text#lgbtag#may actually add something to the post eventually but it's late so just putting some thoughts in the tags#saying this as a trans genderfuck person . it's incredibly reductive to tell anyone who questions the gender binary or desires to break it-#-down that they Have to be trans to do so#you see it a lot with gnc cis people but tbh . applies to even gender conforming cis people and even non-queer cis people !#because in doing so you reinforce that trans people are Magically Different than cis people and that we're the only people who want to-#-question and break down the gender binary#but like . if you want to acknowledge that the gender binary is made up & people have complex relationships with it that fall outside of-#-the socially dictated binary & that ''man'' and ''woman'' are socially created categories not based in biology#and that there's no concrete definition of what a man or a woman or someone who's both or neither and etc beyond personal identity and-#-social category / cis-enforced societal roles#... you also have to realize that some people will break down the concept of the binary and recognize all of that . and still identify with-#-their assigned gender and be cis#expecting anyone who breaks down and rejects the gender binary to automatically also be trans not only cuts us off from cis allies who want-#-to help trans acceptance and break down those social structures#but also ignores intersectional groups who have complicated experiences with gender based on those identities while being cis!#(ex as a white person with privilege i don't feel confident speaking on it on my own but reading about black perspectives on gender and how-#-black women especially have historically been treated by largely white feminist movements how black women are degendered how the sex-#-binary has been leveraged in a racist & eugenics-based way etc imo is really important for breaking down the gender binary even when it's-#-discussing specifically cis people. bc discussions on marginalization are never in a vacuum)#and there are plenty of people Esp queer people who may not solidly fit in a cis or trans box esp when it comes to gnc people!#ex the amount of butch lesbians and fem/me gay men whose connection to womanhood or manhood is through being a lesbian/gay man#but who have more complex relationships with their gender and expression than Just womanhood or manhood#idk long rant and none of this is to say that there's a Cisphobic Trans Agenda to Force Poor Cis People to be trans bc a woman likes suits-#-or a man thinks the gender binary sucks#just . again as a trans person who experiences a lot of joy from my relationship to gender and being trans#i love seeing cis people who can find joy in their gender through breaking down the binary!#gender is complicated and i think accepting it as something Anyone can have a complex relationship . cis or trans . is a big part of-#-accepting that gender is a social construct and not a biological fact
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i understand the longing to be elven i could study music for 100000 years and it wouldn’t be enough time to revel in it
#and if i had ELVEN MUSIC TO ANALYZE?!?!??!!#god i do not understand people who don’t want to look beneath the surface in their preferred art forms. everything i touch explodes into art#i can’t help it. how can you NOT appreciate the commentary on the world around us?#anyway#im listening to bands that got me through high school and just appreciating how different and layered each song is and how they all Sound#like their respective artists. and now im thinking about how FUCKING WILD!!!!!! it is that we as a species are so creative that we can not#only have individual styles and voices within what is entirely a language and beyond it simultaneously: and THEN!!!!! recognize that??#wild. i love it
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I just watched Avatar for the first time all the way through, and yeah, it’s great, but the one thing that surprised me was how different Katara was compared to the fandom interpretation I’d seen and internalized before watching.
Like, before you watch Avatar, you’ve seen all these memes about Katara and her mom, and based on those memes, you assume it’s one of those lines you have to get used to hearing at least once every episode. But then you watch the show and realize that she only talks about her mom maybe five or six times per season and you also realize she only brings her up when she’s trying to comfort someone or empathize with them because that’s how she processes her grief and that’s one way she connects with people.
Or you hear the infamous line, “then you didn’t love [our mother] the way I did” and you prepare yourself for one of the worst character assassinations ever only to see the scene after nearly three seasons worth of context and realize she was kinda right. She’s been the mother, the nurturer, the comforter. She’s been patient, gentle, and accommodating where everyone else has gotten to be insensible and reckless and childish, and the one moment where she allows herself to feel her grief, suddenly she’s this evil bitch and not, y’know, a 14 year old girl whose been thrusted into adulthood in a way no other character has. A 14 year old girl who should be allowed immaturity and raw emotion and anger instead of the patience and grace she’s been forced to extend to every character without even the smallest amount of gratitude or even consideration in return.
Or you see all of the clips where Katara puts Aang in the “friendzone” and you expect to have this wishy washy back and forth where Aang is putting his feelings out there only to have Katara neither commit nor express any clear reciprocation or rejection. Then you watch and realize that, as cute as the ship is initially, that there’s never a point where Aang returns any comfort or grace to Katara despite her always doing this for him to the point of coddling. That for as much as Aang says he loves her, he never seems to outgrow his perception of her so he can recognize her as someone who feels grief, anger, and pain as much as she expresses love, kindness, and maturity. And instead of having moments where he learns to see her beyond her strength or compassion, you’re instead given moments where Aang forces his feelings onto her, both romantic and non-romantic, and Katara is expected to just…shoulder those feelings the way she shoulders everyone else’s.
Katara is the most misunderstood character in the show. As much as people recognize the complexities of Zuko, Sokka, and Azula, they struggle to do the same for Katara because they see her struggles as somehow lesser, and therefore, less deserving of sympathy. They can handle her so long as she’s being endlessly patient and loving and kind, but the moment her endless love, patience, and kindness runs out, she’s suddenly this annoying bitch who can’t shut up about her mother or reciprocate Aang’s feelings. But Katara’s trauma does matter as much as anyone else’s. No, she wasn’t banished from her kingdom. No, she didn’t lose her entire community, and no, she isn’t the only one who lost her mother. But the difference between her and everyone else whose experienced loss because of the Fire Nation is that she’s never given time to process her trauma. Aang gets to lean on Katara constantly. Toph gets to express her feelings to Katara, and yeah, Sokka also lost their mother, but unlike Katara, he isn’t put in the position of being a substitute for everyone’s parent. He even admits that he sees his sister as a mother. The only characters who ever comfort Katara or allow her to vent is Zuko and her father and that’s, like, three scenes in a show where the other characters are consistently given opportunities to seek out Katara for unconditional support.
The fandom interpretation of Katara has been so bastardized that even those who haven’t watched the show know her for this fanon version and not for who she is. She’s such an interesting character beyond her fandom limitations, though. She’s brave, hot-headed, and hopeful as well as gentle and caring. She wishes to learn waterbending, not only because she wants to fight in the war, but because she wants to continue her culture’s practices because, and people often forget this, she also lost an entire subculture within her already fractured tribe. And she wants to defeat the Fire Nation both because of her deep love and empathy for other people, but also because she wants to avenge her mother. But because some of the fans have reduced Katara to a bitch who constantly whines about her mother and friendzones Aang, you wouldn’t know any of this, and it sucks because she’s the only character whose been dumbed down to such an extent.
#avatar the last airbender#avatar#katara#you can tell she’s my favorite character#female character#zutara#I’m not anti or pro either#just something I noticed#I’m not against Aang either#just this writing
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Yandere! Monster x Reader Headcanons
You find yourself kidnapped into a half-breed family of monsters and humans, for the purpose of an arranged marriage. Luckily for you, the groom is their only pure human, terribly handsome and charming. You'd perhaps appreciate him more if your eyes weren't glued to his monstrous older sibling...
Content: female reader, monster smut, reader is a shameless monster hoe
[Part 2]
You always imagined such kidnappings to be of theatrical intensity, being scooped up against your will as you scream and flail your arms, longing for a savior. The affair itself felt more like a formal summoning. Mysterious men appeared before you and merely announced that your presence is required, unfortunately without the choice of refusal. Might as well. You packed necessities under their polite supervision and now you're sitting at the table, facing multiple strangers who are casually enjoying their lunch. One of them, the head of the family apparently, explains that half-breeds are in a rather sensitive place when one considers human and monster politics. Thus, every now and then, they will do whatever it takes to strengthen their bonds and show good intent towards both species. This time it's an arranged marriage with a fellow human.
Why you, in particular? No need to concern yourself with intricate details. What matters now is that you are to be married soon and your groom is right here, enthusiastically waving in a welcoming greeting. You scan his features and can't help but agree with the family: he is, by all definitions, a conventionally handsome man. His face is carefully chiseled in most elegant, yet masculine features. His voice is confident but warm, and you can tell by the flock of servants hovering around that he's rather popular. After the luxurious meal he guides you around the imposing home, showing you to your room and briefing you on future responsibilities. Caring, attentive, and several other checks that you can easily mark in his favor.
Yet one vital aspect has been omitted. The prince's mesmerizing beauty was rather swiftly discarded once you realized the presence of his older sibling, a pure monster blood towering above everyone else and idly eating his food, uninterested. You managed to hide your blush in time, but you couldn't help throwing curious glances. Might've been easier for everyone involved if they handed out 'monster lover' badges. Alas, you weren't prepared to ever be faced with the choice.
The next day you're awoken by the murmur of diligent work, as both servants and family pace back and forth about their plans. You sneak your way out - since nothing is yet expected of you - and wander until you find your intended target: the beastly sibling is polishing a bizarre weapon you don't recognize in what seems to be a storage room littered with battle memorabilia. He notices your presence and acknowledges you with a bored nod. You ask whether you may observe his current activity and he looks up at you, raising an eyebrow suspiciously before agreeing. Why would you care? Certainly there's more entertaining things for you to do as a soon-to-be bride.
As you listen to his little stories from the battleground (hardy monsters like him are better off fighting, not socializing), you have to pat your cheeks in desperate attempts to cool down your burning blush. "H-how comes you don't have a partner?" You mutter, almost feverish. "Not interested. Plus, who would dare to marry me?" he jokes, focused on the sharp item in his clawed hands. There it is. Hesitation and diplomacy out the window, you rearrange yourself, smoothening your clothing, and whisper: "Well, if I had to choose, I would've preferred you as my husband..."
Once again he stares at you bewildered. Have you come here to mock him or something? A frail, pretty human like you, about to tie the knot with his stunning younger brother, showing up here and behind everyone's backs to openly flirt with him. Ridiculous beyond comprehension. His skin is thick enough to not mind such twisted humor, so if anything he's impressed by your audacity. Alright, if you've come for jokes, he'll comply. He places his weapon down and fully turns to you. A little scare might teach you to be more respectful with your in-laws next time.
With a speedy movement that's barely registered by your eyes, he pushes you on the floor and pins you by the wrists, lowering himself uncomfortably close to your face. "If you tease me like this, I might not be able to hold back." He says as he forces himself to smile extra hard, revealing the multiple rows of fangs. "In fact, I can't guarantee you'd make it out of here alive." Hopefully he isn't going too far with his tactics. He senses your frantic breathing and is about to apologize for continuing your prank, but you blurt out in a daze: "Yes, please! I've been thinking about it ever since I saw you." You're panting for dear life as your face is turning a deep shade of red.
Uh oh. Now this is awkward. You weren't...you weren't kidding. For a moment, he freezes in place, trying to recollect himself to no avail. Fucking your brother's future wife in a storage room in the middle of the day feels like poorly written erotic romance. Then again, he can't deny the sudden urge overwhelming him at the mere thought of it. You're squirming underneath him, gliding your legs across his now obvious bulge. His common sense is hanging by a comically thin thread and he can almost hear the instant when it snaps. Thankfully some leftovers of sanity must have remained in the back of his mind and his lustful grunts while pounding you are kept low enough that no one is notified of your horny deeds. Shutting you up was the bigger challenge.
"Is this too tight, miss?" You spin in front of the mirror and the servant readjusts the lace corset adorning your wedding dress. You have to hold back your yawn. Downright shameless and perverted of you to daydream about your monster boyfriend while trying on bridal gowns, but it's not like you agreed to it to begin with. You were kind of hoping to discuss future dating prospects post-intercourse, but someone had been looking for you shortly afterwards and you struggled to regain your composure. Your scary-looking suitor shooed you away with the promise of a reunion.
Before the servant can reach for the next dress, you both jump, startled by angry shouts coming from the hall. You rush outside to witness the older sibling standing before the head of the family. The wrathful threats were coming from the much smaller half-human. "Y-you can't just decide like that!" He screams. "Of course I can. You're welcome to fight me for it." The monster sibling flashes a smug grin. "Can anyone here defeat me?" His question is met with silence. He spots you and gestures you to come towards him. "I'll say it one more time. Find another human for my brother if you have to. This one is mine." He ends his sentence in a low growl and you shiver underneath his heavy arm. Boy, what a time to be alive.
#this feels more like a parody but I randomly thought of it last night sorry#yandere#yandere x reader#yandere x darling#yandere monster#yandere monster x reader#monster x reader#monster smut#monster fucker#terato#teratophillia#yandere headcanons#monster boyfriend#monster x human#female reader#monster imagine#monster headcanons
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