#beware of the whale

[kalebsocs]

So have you guys listened to Edge of Sleep? I don’t draw animals very well, but I wanted to make a poster for this very quote. I could do better with the shading, but it was the best I could do in that time. Still love it.

[vigilskeep]

various and sundry artbook tidbits i found interesting (SPOILERS AHEAD FOR THE VEILGUARD ARTBOOK. obviously)

faction & location stuff:

a sketch page from the very early days exploring shape languages for factions like elves, dwarves, wardens, the necropolis, tevinter, and rivain, also includes concepts for the mages’ college and the ben-hassrath

early rivain concept arts have npcs with a similar armour patterning to duncan’s, suggesting it’s a mark of his rivaini heritage like i always thought!

the depiction of the ““creation story”” suggests elves were mimicking the bodies of dwarves when they formed their own, not humans like i think mythal says in game flashbacks, which would make more sense timeline wise

there’s concept art of the city of ventus, which i believe is of particular relevance to mercar players? it’s right on the border of arlathan forest, and surrounded by magical statues holding out raised hands forming a ward along the tree line to keep it from encroaching

the home base was going to be a lovable fixer-upper of a ship given to us by isabela, named the dumat. this didn’t fit the spy theme they were originally going for, so they tried really really hard to make it a submarine without feeling anachronistic by making it sort of sea monster shaped. there are a lot of cutaways and schematics. they were going to give it a mystery engine that you would get light fetch quests to feed random objects: “ten dried lavender flowers, five quail’s eggs, three brass belt buckles, etc.....” the submarine then turned into an undersea mansion on the back of some giant shambling sea creature you would never get a good look at

later on there were some funny takes on the lighthouse specifically, like bringing back the sea creature theme to put it on the back of an interdimensional veil whale, or having it be the true location of the black emporium with a collection of eluvians that xenon the antiquarian lets you use

there’s a tiny concept art for a “high-speed aravel chase” in a canyon like a western

tevinter gladiators are mentioned a couple times. we WEREEE going to get to see the minrathous proving grounds :( there’s also a dwarven embassy concept art somebody take me out back and shoot me

there are a lot of ghilan’nain creature designs that didn’t make it into the game which is a shame but i can see why they would have been resource heavy

the antiva concept arts are so gorgeous. a lot of it got through! and definitely the overall Vibe made it. at some point it seems to have been antiva city itself; they don’t call it treviso and they mention the circle of magi as a major landmark

“The entrance to the Necropolis is like an inverted Tower of Babel. They seek knowledge in the grave instead of heaven.” <- this just rules as a line

for arlathan: “To differentiate it from previous forest and jungle locations in Dragon Age, we went with an autumnal colour palette. It has the benefit to feeling ominously like the end.”

the veil jumpers have a “skull halla” symbol that “implies their willingness to risk death”. did that end up in the game?

“With each faction, we explored a range of aspirational fantasies. For the Wardens, this ranged from knights in shining armour to butal tanks to a Nietzche quote: ‘Beware that, when fighting monsters, you yourself do not become a monster.’”

there’s this concept among the warden armours for an insane orlesian noblewoman look with the winter palace morrigan corset and a piled high wig, but the skirts torn knee length and a serrated fan in hand. i’m kind of obsessed

“To bring more life to the world, we thought about what industries would keep the Anderfels afloat. We took the prominent Warden blue colour and envisioned an industry harvesting flowers, creating dye, and then weaving copious amounts of blue fabric.” this is probably where the flower quests in the hossberg wetlands started off conceptually? v cute

character stuff:

in completely different early versions of the game, solas had a “bad cop” right hand woman called reva

imshael the desire demon/choice spirit from the masked empire and inquisition was going to be a two-handed weapon warrior companion, and also sexualised now while in largely feminine form, which would have been a Choice. there is one art of him in masculine form, also sexy but still not showing as much skin as the feminine one

as i said, neve was going to be calpernia

taash was a rogue. (they’re still a light-armoured dual wielder so that checks out.) it seems like davrin was briefly a mage. at some points harding seems to have inherited bianca

saarbrak, another qunari companion, seems to have lastest the longest of the abandoned concepts. he’s the only non-canon one who got as far as having a place for him sketched into designs of the lighthouse: “saarbrak’s planning room”. mentions and sightings of what might be him are sporadic and i think you only see his name on that sketch, but i’m connecting it to the description “a potential qunari companion evolved from saarebas to dapper qunari spy, offering a deeper look into qunari culture”

the embroidery on harding’s clothes is how she passes the time while “waiting for days in a sniper perch” on missions. i just thought that was cute

[animusrox]

LETTERBOXD

1.   The Batman 2.   Everything Everywhere All at Once 3.   Prey 4.   Triangle of Sadness 5.   Barbarian 6.  The Northman 7.   Bodies Bodies Bodies 8.   The Banshees of Inisherin 9.   Bones and All 10.   Avatar: The Way of Water

Grade A

11.   Turning Red 12.   The Menu 13.   Babylon 14.   Hit the Road 15.   Cow 16.   Watcher 17.   Funny Pages 18.   Mad God 19.   On the Count of Three 20.   Armageddon Time 21.   Terrifier 2 22.   Marcel the Shell with Shoes On 23.   Smile 24.   Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery 25.   Holy Spider 26.   Aftersun 27.   The Fabelmans 28.   Breaking 29.   Decision to Leave 30.   The Whale 31.   All Quiet on the Western Front 32.   Brian and Charles 33.   Piggy 34.   Saint Omer 35.   Thirteen Lives 36.   Men 37.   The Fallout 38.   Resurrection 39.   Causeway 40.  The Black Phone 41.   Official Competition 42.   Nope 43.  Guillermo del Toro’s Pinocchio 44.   Apollo 10½: A Space Age Childhood 45.   Till 46.   TÁR 47.   Happening 48.   A Love Song 49.   The Outfit 50.   The Innocents 51.   Jackass Forever 52.   BARDO, False Chronicle of a Handful of Truths 53.   Montana Story 54.   Three Thousand Years of Longing 55.   You Won’t Be Alone 56.   The Sadness 57.   Halloween Ends 58.   Pearl 59.   X 60.   Vesper

Click "Keep Reading” For My Full List

Grade B

61.   This Place Rules 62.   Fresh 63.   Windfall 64.   Kimi 65.   No Exit 66.   Top Gun: Maverick 67.   “Sr.” 68.   Farha 69.   The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent 70.   Weird: The Al Yankovic Story 71.   Nitram 72.   Speak No Evil 73.   Run Sweetheart Run 74.   She Said 75.   White Noise 76.   Puss in Boots: The Last Wish 77.   V/H/S/99 78.   The Wonder 79.   Women Talking 80.   Hatching 81.   Soft & Quiet 82.   Scream 83.   To Leslie 84.   Hustle 85.   Chip ’n Dale: Rescue Rangers 86.   Dual 87.   God’s Country 88.   Emancipation 89.   Vengeance 90.   Fire of Love 91.   Bullet Train 92.   Incantation 93.   The Valet 94.   Hellraiser 95.   Christmas Bloody Christmas 96.   Significant Other 97.   Cha Cha Real Smooth 98.   Lucy and Desi 99.   Not Okay 100.   A Christmas Story Christmas 101.   Blonde 102.   Deadstream 103.   Sissy

Grade C

104.   The Bad Guys 105.   The Cursed 106.   Empire of Light 107.   A Man Called Otto 108.   Broker 109.   Black Panther: Wakanda Forever 110.   The Princess 111.   Beast 112.   After Yang 113.   RRR 114.   Fall 115.   Jackass 4.5 116.   Beavis and Butt-Head Do the Universe 117.   Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness 118.   Jennifer Lopez: Halftime 119.   Lightyear 120.   The Pale Blue Eye 121.   The Woman King 122.   Violent Night 123.   God’s Creatures 124.   Ambulance 125.   Elvis 126.   You Are Not My Mother 127.   Emily the Criminal 128.   Crimes of the Future 129.   The Apology 130.   The Lost City 131.   Wendell & Wild 132.   Trainwreck: Woodstock ’99 133.   The Found Footage Phenomenon 134.   See How They Run 135.   Spiderhead 136.   Studio 666 137.   Bros 138.   Spin Me Round 139.   We’re All Going to the World’s Fair 140.   Paws of Fury: The Legend of Hank 141.   Honor Society

Grade D

142.   Thor: Love and Thunder 143.   Summering 144.   Strange World 145.   Glorious 146.   The Gray Man 147.   Devotion 148.   Clerks III 149.   The Forgiven 150.   Enola Holmes 2 151.   Father Stu 152.   Jurassic World Dominion 153.   DC League of Super-Pets 154.   She Will 155.   The Bob’s Burgers Movie 156.   Whitney Houston: I Wanna Dance with Somebody 157.   Hellbender 158.   Samaritan 159.   Day Shift 160.   Sonic the Hedgehog 2 161.   Prey for the Devil 162.   Troll 163.   Uncharted 164.  Lyle, Lyle, Crocodile 165.   Dashcam 166.   Firestarter 167.   Do Revenge 168.   Catwoman: Hunted 169.   The Munsters 170.   Amsterdam 171.   Fantastic Beasts: The Secrets of Dumbledore

Grade F

172.   Mrs. Harris Goes to Paris 173.   The Bubble 174.   Dead for a Dollar 175.   Jerry & Marge Go Large 176.   Honk for Jesus. Save Your Soul. 177.   Infinite Storm 178.   Marry Me 179.   Don’t Worry Darling 180.   Spirited 181.   Disney's Pinocchio 182.   Alice 183.   Black Adam 184.   Orphan: First Kill 185.   The Adam Project 186.   The Invitation 187.   Texas Chainsaw Massacre 188.   Ticket to Paradise 189.   The 355 190.   Umma

Bottom 10

191.   Green Lantern: Beware My Power 192.   Deep Water 193.   Where the Crawdads Sing 194.   Blacklight 195.   Mack & Rita 196.   Memory 197.   Me Time 198.   Death on the Nile 199.   Morbius 200.   Moonfall

[cillianmesoftlyyy]

Wary Sailor Pt. 4 | Matthew Joy x fem!reader

summary: She isn't good for him, but she keeps coming back. What is a man like Matthew Joy meant to do??

warnings: smut, aggression, dubious consent, fingering, penetration, unprotected sex, trust issues lol.

word count: 2574k

Dream Sweet in Sea Major- Miracle Musical 🎶

Another shout out to @everandforeveryours for feeding me inspiration. 1 more part coming... maybe 2? I have an ending in mind for sure!

Matthew awoke with a soft gasp as he felt his body start to fall as he slept. He was still sitting against the wall but had slumped over and forced himself awake. His hands kneaded the straw mattress as he tried to gather his bearings. The whale oil lamp was turned down low so the room was dark and stuffy. Matthew felt sore and feverish after being thrown overboard. He couldn’t get sick, not now. It would be a death sentence to the whole crew. 

Weakly, Matthew lowered himself down onto the mattress and covered himself with the wool blanket. His back spasmed as he did so and he gritted his teeth to keep from gasping in pain. His dark brown hair was plastered against his forehead and he looked more pale than usual. Even his freckles were pale, as if his coloring had been ironed flat. Closing his eyes again, Matthew tried to fall asleep. He returned to the dream he’d been having before with a peculiar quickness. 

In his dream he could see Y/N lying on a rock, surrounded by waves. She was in her human-form and wearing a white dress like a little girl. Beyond her, Matthew spotted a sperm whale breaching the surface for air. Its blowhole sent a spray of water and grime into the air. The girl looked at the way over her shoulder. When the whale finally descended again, she turned and looked right at Matthew. Suddenly, he was there on the rock with her. She could see him and speak to him. Looking between his eyes for a moment, she took a breath and warned him. 

Beware the white whale. 

…

When he woke up again, he looked around the small cabin in confusion. Something else had woken him up this time. Through his squinted eyes he could see only light and shadows, moving with the motion of the ship. He heard the door open, the latch having not been properly secured. It fell open slightly and Matthew could just see into the corridor outside the Captain’s quarters. He forced himself to stand and staggered across the floor to the crude door. As his hand found the handle and started to pull it closed, a hand helped him close it.

He was too tired to react when he turned his head, seeing her standing there beside him, her hand helping him close the door. She was once again in her human-form, her pale legs iridescent with droplets of water. She wore a nicer dress than she had the first time he’d seen her. It was still white but it had long sleeves and ended at her knees. Her neckline plunged deep enough to allow Matthew a view of her glistening sternum. Her hair was braided down her back in a long braid. 

“How did you get in here?” Matthew could only think to ask. His eyes traveled up her body despite his best efforts. Before she responded, she closed and latched the door. When she faced him, her eyes were downcast as if she were embarrassed. Matthew took a deep breath and skipped to his next question, one that seemed more relevant, 

“Why are you here?” He asked and watched as she removed her hand from his and turned away. As she moved away, he felt himself reach for her. His hand gripped her upper arm and pulled her back to face him. Her green eyes rose to meet his gaze and they were wet with old tears. His fingers tightened around the fleshy part of her arm, seeming to forget that she wasn’t human like he was and couldn’t feel the same pain. 

“I said, why are you here Y/N?” His voice was harsher as he spoke through his teeth, “you made it clear the last time we spoke that we couldn’t be together, and yet, here you are… again.” As he said the last sentence, his eyes softened. Despite his best attempts, he loved the girl in front of him, her contradictions and all. 

“I made a mistake… I’m making one now too,” her voice was soft and distracted. She wasn’t making much sense. His grip loosened and she exhaled slowly, her eyes turning fully to hold his gaze. 

“I hope you can understand how much I love you and why that means we can’t be together. Can you see I did what I did because I love you? I’m trying to keep you alive…” 

“Then why do you keep coming back?” He looked her up and down, his heart racing as she licked her lips. 

“I don’t know.” She answered his question honestly and looked between his eyes. Matthew sighed and looked up at the ceiling. He pinched the bridge of his nose and tucked his other hand across his bare chest. His shoulders slumped slightly and his stomach contracted after each breath. His body was sore but he still managed to pull the girl violently to him and kiss her. She was weak in his hold as he held her up on the balls of her feet. His hands held her arms down at her side but it’s not like she was trying to get away. 

He was kissing her so hard that her head was forced back against the wall behind her. Their breathing became heavy as they kissed, teeth pulling at lips and tongues. Pausing for only a moment, Matthew ripped her dress from her body. The fabric split down her chest and slipped down to her feet. 

“Didn’t you know, love? It’s bad luck for a woman to be clothed on a ship,” Matthew went back to kissing her, hauling her away from the wall in his sore arms. He hissed against her lips when he tossed her on the small bunk. 

“Matthew, you’re hurt…” she sat up on her elbows, her brow furrowed. 

“It’s nothing. Just bruising,” Matthew explained in a whisper and leaned over her, his wrists supporting his weight on the mattress. His kiss was slower and softer now that she was on his bed, lying below him. Her hands tenderly explored the muscles on his chest and felt as his muscles contracted below each movement of her finger. 

“God, look at you,” Matthew groaned against her cheek. His hands took her waist and situated her body where he wanted it on the bed. His arm brushed against her bare breast as he moved his hands back to her arms. Matthew pinned her hands above her head against the wreath of her dark hair. 

“I need you… I’d give anything for you,” his breath was hot and heavy against her neck. He kissed her skin, making her peach fuzz stand on end where he kissed. 

“You already have me, sailor.” 

As she said it, Matthew pulled his face back and looked into her pale green eyes. His chest rose and fell so close above her breasts that she could feel the heat from his body. 

“No, not yet but I will.” He responded seriously and let his eyes wander down her body to her knees. With one of his hands, Matthew aggressively spread the girl’s legs and wrapped them around his hips. He’d already had her before but it felt new again as he pressed his erection against her wet cunt. Gasping softly, she pushed against him and moved her hips in a circle. Matthew took his hand and forced two fingers into the girl’s open mouth. She sucked them gently as he kept holding her down. 

“There, that’s it, love.”

Then, removing his fingers from her mouth, Matthew penetrated her with his middle and pointer fingers. He used his thumb to rub her clit, his pressure hard and unforgiving. The girl below him whimpered as he worked her walls into a stretch. The sensation of her natural lubricant on his fingers made his erection even more painful as it strained against his pants. Once he had worked her up enough where she was red in the face and panting, he removed his fingers and sucked them clean. In the next second, Matthew pulled down his pants and teased himself on her entrance. 

“God, just put it in already!” She whimpered before Matthew clapped his hand across her mouth, silencing her. 

“Be quiet, love.” His dark eyelashes fluttered when he finally pushed inside of her. Somehow it was even better than their first time. Matthew hissed loudly as he completely filled her up, hitting the base of her uterus before slowly pulling out again. His back was already spasming from the effort and he tried to ignore it as he thrusted a second time. Sensing that he was losing strength, she pushed him off and forced him back down in her old place.  

“You can still have me, sailor, but perhaps in another way?” She suggested with a shy smile. Still smiling with lust, Matthew smirked and caught on to her meaning. 

“Show me, love,” he nodded and held both of her fleshy hips as she rose on her knees, finding his cock with one of her hands. Holding it straight, the girl lowered herself onto it and nearly gasped out loud. Matthew shushed her kindly and helped guide her down, supporting her so she could go slow. 

“Damn, it feels so fucking good.” Matthew threw his head back, his Adam's apple poking up as he swallowed. He quickly raised it again so he could watch the girl begin to move with more flexibility. She twisted her hips and moved back and forth, working quiet moans from the both of them. She covered her own mouth as she kept up her pace on his cock. She could feel him leak around her, making the base of his cock wet with their sweat and precum. 

She supported herself by pushing one hand against one of his pectoral muscles. Matthew offered her additional support by moving one of his hands to her elbow. Her eyes screamed out in thanks as she changed pace, snapping her hips down and bouncing up and down on her knees. 

“There you go, love. You know just what to do, don’t you?” He gave her a soft laugh and wrapped her hair around his hand, holding it away from her back. Using her hair, he pulled her down to his lips and rubbed his nose against her’s. 

“Do you know how much I love you?” He asked her between their whines. When she didn’t respond, Matthew kissed her. He breathed in through his nose and she nearly melted below his mouth as he bit her bottom lip. 

“I don’t know you at all, and yet, I love you more than anything,” he told her when he released her fat lip. Her eyes poured into his as she sped up her hips. Matthew began to thrust up into her, losing control of his body. She was so wet around him that he could hear the movement of his cock inside her, through layers of muscle and bone. 

“Ride me until the end, love.”

The Siren nodded and arched her back. Matthew grabbed her hand and watched as she worked herself up to a blinding climax. His groans slipped into quiet moans and exhales as she squeezed around him, prompting his own orgasm. They both stifled their shouts of pleasure and stumbled through their climaxes, swapping cum. Finally, she leaned forward again and waited for him to speak. Matthew brushed her hair away from her face and pulled her to his chest. Pulling out as he did, she collapsed against his chest. She could feel every muscle in his chest as she rested her cheek on his body. His heart was racing, the same as hers. 

She rolled over and allowed her head to rest upon his bicep. Matthew rolled his head to the side and watched her. Her lips were parted as she caught her breath. They were both naked save the short breeches caught between Matthew’s legs. Sweat sparkled on the girl’s body, catching his attention. Though he was tired, Matthew propped himself up beside her and lowered his face to her stomach, licking the drops of sweat from her skin. She tasted like salt, both from her body and from the sea. His nose trailed the curvature of muscle leading from her sternum to her navel. The Siren’s hand cupped the back of his freckled neck and ran up into his dark brown hair. She tugged affectionately and petted him like a dog, encouraging a smile from the man above her. 

“I don’t think I have ever loved the ocean more,” Matthew whispered between long drawn out licks. “For having made you was the greatest gift of all.” 

“Quiet now, sailor. Come here and kiss me,” the girl smiled and giggled as Matthew did as she requested, pressing his lips against hers. 

…

“I should leave now, before dawn,” Y/N’s voice broke the calm silence between them. Matthew turned his face to process her sentence. With a disappointed nod, he sat up in the bunk and buttoned his pants. 

“I’ll walk you to the railing.” 

By then, his clothes had dried where he laid them the day before. Having ripped the dress from her body, the Siren was naked, so Matthew handed her his shirt and helped her tie the front laces. 

“It’s bad luck for a woman to wear clothes on a ship,” Y/N laughed softly at Matthew who shrugged his head to the side. 

“That’s true… but it’s only for a moment,” Matthew pursed his lips in faux-thought. Hand in hand, Matthew led her up to the deck of the Essex. Dawn hadn’t breached the horizon but the skin had brightened enough to see a few feet in front of them. The men would be up and working soon, recovering from the storm. She started to mount the railing when Matthew stopped her. 

“Wait, before you go… I had the oddest dream about you and… and a white whale. It’s the same whale the Captain has been chasing, the one that even Owen is beginning to obsess over. They both see it as a trial of some kind. Anyway, you told me to ‘beware.’ Do you know such a whale?” 

She furrowed her brow and nodded worriedly. 

“Yes, I do. Matthew, it’s a red herring. Whatever you do, don’t let these men try to best the beast. You will never win against nature. You can never win against something like me… something born of the sea-”

Voices rose from below the deck and Matthew checked over his shoulder. 

“Promise me you won’t join them in this madness,” her hand grasped his and squeezed painfully tight. 

“I have no control over them-”

“Then make them listen. You must promise, promise that you’ll try.” 

Matthew furrowed his dark eyebrows and took a sharp breath. 

“I promise…” 

“Joy!” 

Matthew turned. She was gone. 

“What the hell are you doing above deck?” One of the deckhands greeted him with a smile and a gentle pat on the back which was still bright purple with bruising. 

“The storm has passed,” Matthew could only think to say and gestured to the calmer sea. 

“For now, I heard Owen saying the Captain wants to chase it, he thinks the whale is following it too.” 

“Where is the Captain?” Matthew’s voice darkened. 

“In his quarters, sir.” 

“Right, watch the horizon. I’ll be back.”

....

End of Pt. 4!

[bleucaesura]

Non-Spoiler background observations! Cuz I wanna get these out before others pick them off lol

(Well. One spoiler - but it’s at the end - so you have plenty of time to jump ship).

First Up: Milk Carton

Loo Loo Land employee ain’t missing guys. He dead. D-E-D. Dead ☠️

Squished by Blitzø and (presumably) burnt to a crisp in the fire.🔥 So he gone!

***

NEXT: Movie Poster

COMING THIS SUMMER

We Said Eat The Rich

THEY AGREED

BILLIONAIRES BEWARE

An Orca Documentary

I Googled “whales flipping boats” (to provide context in case anyone doesn’t get it) and was NOT disappointed 🤣 🐋 Humpback bro looking like Western Energy shark attacking Moxxie during the Pain Games 😂

The movie poster is a fantastic little detail. I applaud the set designers.

***

NEXT: Cloaca plug

Blitzø doesn’t know what it is. But I doooooo!

It’s the creeper Santuh! When Blitzø tosses the plug away you can hear it make the same surprised “OOO!” noise the Santuh does in the CHERUBS episode when he’s ‘unmasked’ 🤣

***

LAST: Glove/Crystal

When Stolas joins the crystal to Blitzø’s glove (left hand btw - LIKE A FUCKING ENGAGEMENT RING 🥺🥹😭☠️) Asmodeus’s sigil flashes. That is all.

Side note: I FUCKING KNEW THATS WHERE THE CRYSTAL WOULD GO!! I should have said something lol But in my head (before I even SAW the damn crystal in Just Look My Way) my little AuDHD brain was like “where would be the most logical place for Blitzø to have it on his person 🤔” either his brooch or his glove. But the brooch means too much to him to mess with soooo GLOVE. And I was riiiiight! So I’m praising myself. *pats self on back* Good job me! 😊

***

One last thing:

Anyone else getting a Darkwing Duck vibe? 🤣

Alright! That’s all I’ve got (for now) Enjoy!

[royalninja]

BEWARE the SEVEN LEGENDARY AQUATIC MAMMALS

the WALRUS of PESTILENCE the SEAL of MISFORTUNE the DOLPHIN of CLAIRVOYANCE the WHALE of TIME the NARWHAL of EXUBERANCE the SEA OTTER of FENESTRATION and the PLATYPUS of TOTAL ANNIHILATION

YOU KNOW NOT OF THEIR POWER.

[bomberqueen17]

the gay dolphins are too powerful

yesterday i was facing the facts that i do need to actually work out the technical mcguffins in this novel. like, i have some vague notion that there's a problem with the radio network because of solar flares and our heroes are going to... somehow... fix it. idk.

plot and worldbuilding wittering behind the cut

this was the main plot in the solarpunk mammoths novel too, and i had a vague notion that a problem on such a global scale as that would need to like. it would need to be solved by more than one person. and so my nebulous notion is that possibly several sets of characters could work on it in these loosely-connected novels where really i'm just exploring different ecosystems.

idk i just-- y'all know about the Turkey City Lexicon right? I got it as a hand-out in college creative writing class and of course it reshaped my brain, but. one of the Tropes To Beware they've got is the Cozy Catastrophe, which is startlingly prevalent and once you see it you can't unsee-- "the world is ending! all of humanity will die! unless... Jeff and Suzy, you're our only hope!" and our two everyman protagonists somehow are the only resources the entire world can muster and honestly the entire world seems to consist of one American city block with about three hundred people in it at most. Hm.

so i was like yah this catastrophe is way too cozy.

meanwhile i forget how it came up but @sonnetsandsinging, helpfully spitballing, said something about space whales and i was like

OMG in a world with genetically-engineered mammoths with radio collars that translate their brain waves to allow them to speak in human language it is ABSURD that they are the only species of animal that has been given this treatment

so like. what other animals do we try to talk to all the time besides elephants?

DOLPHINS

so now this world has genetically-engineered dolphins with brainwaves-to-speech dorsal fin attachments. like duh of course it does. i can't believe I hadn't thought of that.

there should be other animals too but i can't decide which ones, currently taking submissions. What Else Should Slightly-Disconcertingly Speak.

(My criteria: should be an animal intelligent enough to have successful communication with humans already, something relatively long-lived, something that couldn't use sign language or other methods already. My concept, which is not scientific really, is that it's been well-studied that while many animals have complex communication systems, humans are the only ones whose brains are structured specifically for language, so the Magic Fictional Science here is that they've had that ability genetically-engineered in, but of course the physical production of human-intelligible language is beyond the physical structure of most animals, hence the brainwave-interface collars. which btw could also be used on profoundly disabled humans, and that might be a plot point at some point; i do have some disabled characters in this story. I know I researched those like, communication board things that nonverbal humans can use and I settled on Magical Radio-Networked Interfaces that speak out loud instead for the simple expedient of streamlining things because like how is a mammoth going to carry a communication board around that it can like get out and point at. how is a dolphin going to carry anything. so, this is just where I ended up.)

(I was thinking parrots but then parrots wouldn't need the collar because they can actually make human-speech noises on their own. so that's a fun variation. maybe in this world african grey parrots actually just talk.)

Anyway back when I first started the solarpunk mammoths novel I researched Asian elephants a lot and studied their social structures and read up on their physical abilities etc., so in between trying to find out how radio waves and semiconductors work (i get the radio waves thing & think i have my mcguffin sorted out but semiconductors made my eyes glaze over and then begin weeping so i gave up) (also supercapacitors i don't understand u sorry bye) (do i know any electronics engineers who want to explain this in normal languages? shit i do know a chemical engineer maybe she knows. heck) ... ok i wandered away from this post to text her and then forgot i was making it. i did not get a lot of sleep last night the amphetamines are not being kind this go-round but i must continue the experiment. uhhhhh where was i

GAY DOLPHINS

too powerful

Yeah so I started researching dolphins, because if I'm going to have named-and-speaking dolphin characters, I need to know a little bit about how they work.

Now I have a slight head-start on this, just as I did on mammoths. Mammoths, I've been obsessed with since I was a toddler. But dolphins. For a while I used to go to SCA camping events and there was this guy who used to be a Navy diver and then worked for Sea World and he. well he was really good at telling stories, was his deal. And he had Seen Some Shit, and some of that shit was about interacting with dolphins. And the thing about dolphins is that. Well, they're violent little chaos gremlins, and just in the course of going about their normal lives, one of the things they do to interact with the world is, well. they have sex with things.

when they do this to people it is generally not a positive experience for the person. but. so i knew that going in. and most of the information on the internet about dolphins is really like. earnest and loving and whatever, which is great. but the thing is that dolphins are chaos gremlins who will fuck anything they can't eat, eat anything they can't fuck, or sometimes do both to the same unfortunate object if it proves to be possible.

what i'm saying is, these are going to be really entertaining characters to work with. because elephants, conversely, do not have recreational sex. they do a lot of things, but they just don't really do that. so dolphins are like. inverse-elephants, culturally.

Elephants also tend to have a strong matriarch, strong bonds between females, and then the males tend to be largely solitary, but will congregate more loosely, often around an older male who will teach them manners. (A well-mannered bull is MUCH more likely to be allowed to mate with desirable females, who have little patience with male foibles.)

Dolphins have looser gender roles; on the whole, the females tend to loosely congregate, and pregnant females usually go back to their mother's pod to birth and raise young, not dissimilar to elephants, but the males--

male dolphins very, very frequently will pair-bond. Two males of similar age-- adult males have very little to do with juveniles of either sex, generally-- will pair-bond and will be inseparable for the rest of their lives. If one of them dies, the other will mourn-- mourning behavior is well-documented in dolphins-- and then will seek to pair off with another adult male, because male dolphins prefer to work in pairs, for survival and companionship. (Dolphin "pods" are also more loosely-organized than elephant herds; dolphins will have a couple of core companions, but then will freely associate and disassociate with other individuals and groups over short periods of time without much fuss, depending on the situation.)

The pair-bonded males are the ones who in the wild do the behavior you see in shows, where they do like synchronized jumps and very-close fast-precise swimming and such, which in the wild are apparently courtship or threat displays-- i.e. "look how tight we are, you can't fight us" or, alternately, "isn't that hot" because

yes that's often how they court females. The pair will corral a desirable female and herd her away from other dolphins so they can both mate with her, and keep her from mating with anybody else.

(other females have been observed collaborating to free a corralled female who did not want this to happen, so it's not quite as rapey as it sounds. though, i mean. dolphins. what can you do.)

anyway dolphin threesomes are canon. but that derailed the rest of my night and i was unable to concentrate on anything else because the gay-- I should say really bisexual dolphins are too powerful.

so anyway i wrote a test scene with a dolphin character, and i had my main character take his wife and baby down to the jetty to introduce them to his dolphin pals, and a bonded male pair he'd known for years showed up and immediately tried to steal the wife, and then expressed shock that he didn't have his male best friend with him, because in their experience breeding was THEE most important time to have your buddy with you. He explains that his buddy is off on a long-term work assignment, and they're like hmph next time you breed you MUST include him, it is so much easier trust us. and the wife is like hmmmmm!

henceforth i will refer to m/m/f threesomes as "dolphin style" you're welcome

[burningvelvet]

some of my favorite quotes from moby dick which are unintentionally metal (i can only include a few because if this list were exhaustive it would break the character limit)

"Better sleep with a sober cannibal than a drunken Christian."

"I now prophesy that I will dismember my dismemberer."

"'Oh, sir, it will break bones — beware, beware!' 'No fear; I like a good grip; I like to feel something in this slippery world that can hold, man.'"

"Go to the meatmarket of a Saturday night and see the crowds of live bipeds staring up at the long rows of dead quadrupeds. Does not that sight take a tooth out of the cannibal's jaw? Cannibals? who is not a cannibal?"

"Here’s food for thought, had Ahab time to think; but Ahab never thinks; he only feels, feels, feels; that’s tingling enough for mortal man! to think’s audacity."

"Hell is an idea first born on an undigested apple-dumpling."

"Midwifery should be taught in the same course with fencing and boxing, riding and rowing."

"There, then, he sat, holding up that imbecile candle in the heart of that almighty forlornness. There, then, he sat, the sign and symbol of a man without faith, hopelessly holding up hope in the midst of despair."

"In the tumultuous business of cutting-in and attending to a whale, there is much running backwards and forwards among the crew. Now hands are wanted here, and then again hands are wanted there. There is no staying in any one place; for at one and the same time everything has to be done everywhere. It is much the same with him who endeavors the description of the scene. We must now retrace our way a little."

"1ST NANTUCKET SAILOR. Oh, boys, don’t be sentimental; it’s bad for the digestion! Take a tonic, follow me! (Sings, and all follow.)"

[chuckeroo777]

Dungeon Meshi Volume 5 Part 1

Welcome back to my liveblog! Gonna keep doing the bigger posts. As always, spoilers ahead so beware!

Don't spoil people, or a ghost will haunt your soup.

Please help. I haven't opened my eyes for 23 years, and now that I finally have, I don't know how to close them.

So... does Thistle actually know what happened, or does he seriously think his dragon decided to turn into a pretty girl?

Yo, imagine if Thistle turned Falin into a dracolich. That would be sick! And much harder to draw regularly.

Indeed senshi. Just be glad she didn't have one of her maces.

The audacity of this witch. That's what I get for being stylish. Guess I'll just use "Rocks fall, everyone dies."

Priorities. But seriously, what makes you think he wants to talk? It's really sad how desperate Marcille is to make her dream a reality.

An important image.

Correct! Just not right now.

Please don't smile so widely as you say that. Also, where the hell did the orcs get a moose antler?

Orc medicine not monitored by the FDA.

Floof!

This seemed like a bit of a continuity error, but we see later that the ghosts are able to warp reality a bit.

I like how you can pinpoint the exact moment she figures him out.

MY CHARACTER SHEET SAYS CHAOTIC NEUTRAL. That means I can't have feels. My dude, you founded a union. That makes you lawful good at minimum.

Oh, hey. When did that start happening? I thought it didn't start till the cleaners chapter.

See? Chilchuck wasn't kidding about his tenaciousness.

Tansu doesn't do much to make himself likeable, but he really isn't a bad guy.

Man, it's hard to get a good handle on the geometry of the forth floor. All the areas look the same, so for a while I thought it was just one big room.

You can tell they're illusions since they aren't phylogenetically consistent. Seriously, why is the king of the Zora a whale when everyone else is based on cartilaginous fish?

As the caster, this is probably exactly what he is seeing. Run.

It's always the same old story. To eat is to live.

Part of respecting Half-foots is respecting their right to nope out in fights.

If you saw how I was behaving back in chapter 28, I think you know what joke I have for this.

I really hope the fact that Chilchuck is a union man is brought up in the anime. I believe it is only referenced in extra material, the succubus monster extra to be specific.

God forbid a guy has hobbies.

I, uh, don't think that's how chanting works.

Tade craves the meshi.

Approaching the limit, so lets continue with chapter 33 in the next post.

[paikothecateater]

wholesome whale brothers headcanons? 🤍🐋🤍

Anon, you're the best.

-Iceland absolutely love bombs the crap out of Norway on his birthday.

-in Norway's eyes, Iceland is a perfect angel who could do no wrong. If anyone makes the mistake of trying to rant about Iceland to Norway, they would get a four hour long lecture on why 'Iceland is living proof that perfection is achievable and you're wrong it you think otherwise' PowerPoint presentation and all.

-Iceland has a bad habit of subconsciously scratching at his arms when he's nervous or uncomfortable. Norway has gotten into the habit of holding Iceland's hands so he can't do that to himself.

-Norway has no consistent interests. He has hobbies, but when it comes to interests he can jump from topic to topic in no time. Iceland on the other hand has a lot of things he's passionate about. Norway will spend days researching a few things about whatever it is Iceland is interested in, making sure to dig up really obscure details so he can ask Iceland questions that will get him to talk about things he likes.

-Even though Iceland is reluctant to label himself as Norway's little brother, he's actually a great younger sibling. Making Norway happy in turn makes Iceland happy.

-every conversation they have over text always ends with some variation of 'love you' even if it's about an argument they had.

-Iceland has to do a lot of skincare to maintain his skin in his country's harsh climate. He has inadvertently become pretty much an expert on this stuff. Norway on the other hand, doesn't know too much about skin care, so Iceland always ends up taking care of Norway's skin too. They have cute lil spa days.

-Iceland in general dislikes cute baby nicknames, but he accepts them when it's from Norway. Like no, Denmark can't call Iceland 'kiddo' but Norway can get away with calling Iceland 'my little baby'. It drives the others crazy.

-they occasionally pick out a book they both want to read, finish it, then choose a day to discuss it over tea and coffee.

-Norway doesn't share food. It might as well be posted on the front door. 'beware of Norway: he will murder you if you take his food... Unless you're Iceland' Norway will actually go out of his way to offer Iceland food.

-if Iceland asks Norway to drive him somewhere and back, instead of driving Iceland there, going home, then coming back to pick him up, Norway will just wait there in his car until Iceland comes back. No matter how long he's gone for. Norway just wants to be there in case anything happens.

-Norway will not go to bed unless he gets a goodnight and a hug and kiss from Iceland. It's his way of making sure that even if they had an argument during the day, they have to make up by night.

Here's a good few. You can clearly tell who my favourite Nordics are. I love whale brothers asks more than anything. Again, I can't thank you enough, Anon, you made my whole day.

[alithographica]

ok you said we could ask about weird biology and this is close i think. ok so minor totk spoilers? these r in the depths and its not story related but still beware: yknow the dark skeletons? the huge fully formed ones? what creatures R Those?

I have not yet encountered the dark skeletons and the pics on Google are not helpful so I might have to update this when I actually find them, but...

The BotW great skeletons/leviathans spawned some speculation that they were references to creatures in other Legend of Zelda games—but I can't speak to that because BotW was my first LoZ game. What I can say is that they were very reminiscent of whale skeletons, just with a fantasy flair. It wouldn't surprise me to find that the dark skeletons are similarly cetaceaned.

All 3 of the BotW leviathans were slightly different variations on this theme:

Second pic © Manyee Desandies

Those are both baleen whales—no teeth, they filter their food with a sort of hair-like structure (a baleen.) There are also toothed whales, like orcas, that have pointy predatory teeth. Now, the leviathans back in BotW...

Beyond the obvious size, note the curved upper jaw, the sweeping arc of the two sides of the lower jaw, the low and protruding orbit (eye socket), the ribs that terminate partway down the spine...That's a whale model, even once you throw on some hind limbs or wings or an armored head like BotW did.

So whatever's down in the depths: Probably also whale-adjacent fantasy fun!

[spiegelgestalt]

I was looking through your re zero reblogs and a tag stood out to me. What do you mean you think Otto is a manifestation of Satella? I’m really intrigued by the concept

Ohh! Thank you for the question. So this is a pet theory of mine which is probably wrong but I find incredibly entertaining. Beware this is going to be long and rambley. The TL;DR is probably: the only person who is as obsessed with Subaru as Otto is, is Satella It tries to explain several things that I find weird about Otto (some of these things might be explained in the LN but Tappeis writing style doesn't click with me and so i'm really slow with reading them) :

a) Ottos sudden entry in Subarus story (and the fact that Subaru always meets him no matter what he does) the first time he meets Otto at a pub because Otto made a financial mistake and drank his sadness away. This one's fairly unsuspicious. The second time is stranger. Subaru is going back to the mansion alone in the darkness and meets Otto on the road. Not only that. Otto is standing near the light and waves. Like he was expecting him. Why? Does he do that often - wave to travelers who are just passing by? But the most suspicious entry is his last/permanent entry to the story - his getting saved from the witch cult. Why did the witch cult kidnapp him an no one else? Why did they plan to sacrifice him? Why wasn't he with the rest of the merchants? Suuuuus!!! This at least hints that Otto might have connections/significance to the witch cult

2) why does the whale eat him and not Subaru? Subaru should have smelled tastier so why did it chose Otto? Maybe because Otto smelled of the witch? And if Otto knew that the Mabeast would go after him it would paint his pushing Subaru of the cart in a different light.

3) he's not in roswaals gospel which even has Subaru in it. How/why? Is it really just because he's so insignificant?

So these things make Otto suspicious but they don't link him to Satella necessarily. So here comes my reason for that

3) Otto's behavior in Season 2 don't make sense. Not only is he ride or die for Subaru very very fast while the other is basically nothing but rude to him. He explains this with Subaru saving him but technically that were the iron fang people and Otto isn't thankful to them at all. And even if that were the case - why is Otto so sure that Subaru needs help? As far as I remember he offers Subaru help in every single time loop, even in the ones where Subaru still believes himself to be on top of things (and shouldn't send sadboy pleas help me vibes)

4) And than there is the speech which will save Subaru. And I find it quite suspicious: a) this speech is suspiciously parallel to Satellas speech in the witches tea party it kinda feels like a continuation of it

b) Otto says that he understands that Subaru wants to be strong in front of the girl he likes and in front of the girl that likes him but he shouldn't have to be strong in front of his friend. So the girl Subaru likes is obv. Emilia but why talk about another girl who likes Subaru... who is that supposed to be? Otto doesn't know about Rem. Does he mean Emilia again? But why say it that strangely - or was he just covering his bases. IDK for me it kinda made sense as a Emilia/Satella distinction (or if Otto DOES know about Rem that makes him really suspicious again)

C) Otto takes it very personally that Subaru didn't ask HIM for help. But why should Subaru do that. He technically knows him for what, a few days?

D) Subaru notes that this kind of speech is usually reserved for the heroine (something he also mentioned about being summoned to another world and we know that was Satella - so is that the case here too?)

5) Otto has a lot of parallels to Subaru/Satella has a lot of parallels to Subaru

So all of this could hint to the fact that Otto is a time traveler and/or has some connection to one of the witches (either Pandora or Satella)

But I like my theory of Otto being a manifestation of Satella because it fits neatly into the theme of the parallels between Satella/ Subaru, it is something Satella would do, the thought that Satella sees Subaru dying over and over again and just says: okay have to do everything myself. If he won't accept help if I'm a woman I gotta go in as a guy is extremely funny to me, I believe that being kinda pathetic is an important property of being associated with envy AND Otto is next to Satella the person who most obsesses over Subaru and only Subaru

And Satella could rewrite history if she needed to (that would explain Otto's memories)

[hubristicassholefight]

Hubristic Assholes Tourney round 1 part 4a

Ahab (Moby Dick) vs Laerryn Cormar-Seelie (Critical Role Exandria Unlimited: Calamity)

Propaganda Below Cut (Beware Spoilers)

Ahab

He's the physical embodiment of hubris. His arrogance leads directly to his death at the hands (or fins) of the whale he hunts relentlessly; https://www.tumblr.com/byrdsfly/686201047107174400/captain-ahab-assigned-hubris-at-birth

Laerryn

She built a device to transport her whole city into another dimension specifically to spite the gods. When the machine killed her best friend, instead of thinking "Wow, this might be a bad idea" she threw herself into solving it, sacrificing her marriage. When she discovered the system that was preventing her from getting the magic she needed to move the city, she destroyed it, unleashing the evil betrayer gods and dooming the entire world; The Ur-example of Wizard Hubris™.

Laerryn lived in a flying magocratic city and was the person in charge of the magical engines that kept it flying. In secret, she constructed her own engine, the Astral Leywright, that would allow the city to travel between planes of existence, believing that, as this would be among the greatest magical accomplishments of the age, she would be forgiven by the city's authorities for tampering with the engines once her deeds had come to light. Her commitment to this project cost her her marriage and her best friend, who was stranded in the Astral Plane after he agreed to be the first person to test it, but she continued undaunted. Eventually, when the Leywright was ready to be activated (under even better conditions than she had anticipated), she discovered that another of the city's apparati, the Tree of Names, a magic tree that had been placed there by the druids who lived on the land the city had came from, was siphoning the power she needed. Shortly afterward, it became evident that there was a conspiracy in the city to release a group of imprisoned evil gods, and that the city landing (something she needed for the Leywright to activate) was a vital part of their plan. Not only did she disregard this threat, but she also ended up destroying the Tree of Names (for a variety of reasons, but partially because it was an obstacle), thus unknowingly removing the last barrier that was keeping the evil gods from entering the world. Shortly after that she did turn around and use the Leywright to help mitigate some of the damage that would be done by those gods (dying in the process, but not before she'd reconciled with her ex-husband); Laerryn is wizard hubris incarnate, pursuing knowledge and magical advancement at the cost of all else and confident enough in her power to see herself as equivalent to a god. Vote for her if you support women's wrongs.

[bleedingichorhearts]

𝐌𝐞𝐫𝐌𝐚𝐲: 𝐗𝐞𝐫𝐱𝐞𝐬

𝕬𝖚𝖙𝖍𝖔𝖗: Switched this one up a little.

𝕿𝖆𝖌𝖌𝖊𝖉: @kit-williams, @egrets-not-regrets, @bispecsual, @gallifreyianrosearkytiorsusan, @sleepyfan-blog.

TW // Entrapment.

|°𝐌𝐞𝐫𝐌𝐚𝐲 𝐂𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐢𝐜𝐥𝐞𝐬°| |°ᴛᴀɢ ʟɪꜱᴛ ᴀᴘᴘʟɪᴄᴀᴛɪᴏɴ°| • {𝐂𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧} • {𝐒𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐚𝐤} • {𝐌𝐢𝐧𝐢 𝐌𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬}

The blue armored Space Marine eyes darted around at every dark corner before clearing them safe to continue on with his assignment. His hearing pricked for anything that moves out of place as he smells the dusty ventilation in the human base, a little huff leaving him. So unclean.

There were many things covered in multiple layers of dust; having been an abandoned base when a mixed band of Iron Warriors and Iron Hands cleared it out before some… authority could get to it to handle it properly. It has been abandoned since, the previous humans never coming back twice unless they have a met a rather unfortunate fate with the previous legions that had rioted the base. It was also too unorganized for his tastes; with files and smeared papers being scattered about, but he doesn’t reflect too much on it since it was abandoned after all. He shouldn’t dwell on how filthy it was when battlefields itself was foul. He’s been stained in his opposite colors before.

Turning a corner, he leans down through a heavy metal archway with the double heavy door being smashed right through and onto the cement flooring into the room as he looked down at it, slightly amused. Seems like his cousins didn’t take too kindly in their raid. Unfortunate, for the humans and their weak technology attempt to keep Astartes out of where they don’t want them to be.

Looking up and stepping over the door. He slowly checks around this room in the base, problem by problem. Eyeing everything down for a presentable report back to his higher ranked brethren.

More papers and files were scattered everywhere around the room, on the floor and metal tables. A layer of dust coating the abandoned surfaces of where work used to be. Broken vials and cups littering the grounds with a strange, black, gooey-like substance following some of the broke shards. Coffee he figures, or mixed water, depending on its old, rotten scent.

Stoping next to a metal table. He carefully picks up a piece of old paper from it, dust partials flowing off it as he reads the human words on it. His helmet translating some of the words he can’t quite place with the smudged ones.

— Is a creature of the Bathypelagic Zone or knows as the Midnight Zone. This creature is not be taken L—. Considering it appearance of remarkable scales and graceful fins, but it is the exact —. Though, it’s scales p— a hefty profit. Beware of his tail and — claws. It is astonishing we d—‘t have anything else on this —, but in time we will. May the — light our path.

Warning: It’s not to be out of its containment, or fed — meals a day.

A creature? How could the humans get their hands on a clearly undocumented creature? A creature confined in its space? He knows they have documented Whales, but he surprised by humans sometimes, and their capability to do the biggest things despite their smaller size. He shakes his helmet.

Is this creature still here? He can’t find anything on this piece of paper of its location, only what it would be housed in. A cylinder, high-strength acrylic filled with gallons of salt water, just like the one in the middle of the room.

Lifting his eyes from the paper. He looks at the cylinder in the middle of the room almost expectingly, waiting for such a creature to burst for it. Until he quickly realizes it has been covered with a tarp, nailed down at the base of the chamber. How could have the other legionnaires miss this? It was their duty and training to search everything out of order! Perhaps, they were Neophyte’s? Rogue scout’s, undocumented?

He nearly rolls his eyes, but huffs instead. Placing the old paper back down on the metal table where he found it. Undocumented scouts would make his mission a bit harder to do since he’ll have to find out who was responsible for the operation. He hopes some Alpha Legionnaires have something on them so he can get all his demanding paper work done in a record time.

He takes steps forward towards the covered cylinder and put a gauntlet on it, hesitating for just a moment before he quickly pulls it off with a whip. Dust immediately falling off the cover as the bolts holding the tarp down snap, flying into random directions that he doesn’t care of. What he cares of is the creature inside of the aquarium. Bright, aquatic light blinding his for a second.

What he expected was nothing like what he saw. His eyes briefly blinking rapidly at the figure before him. He could have never unveiled such a creature before him. Those deep, preying eyes looking down at him like it knew all his secrets while its fins flowed gracefully through the waters of the huge cylinder aquarium that was surprisingly the most clean thing in this base.

His helm tilts when his eyes roams over its scales with the creatures head following along, watching him in turn. It— her scales rather radiant in the light of the aquarium with a few scarred and missing. Her tail flowing gracefully around the rock she took to curl around on.

So, this is the creature the paper speaks so… dangerously of? Sure she was bigger than him by a torso, but she doesn’t look much of a threat. Instead, she looks more… oddly attractive and he doesn’t find it weird himself that he is finding this attraction at such a creature that looked half human and fish.

Perhaps, his report can wait just a little bit? He can contact some Alpha legionnaires to help his case.

[dichromaticdyke]

GUYS I'M HAVING ANOTHER BOUT OF DIVINE MADNESS

i've been seing posts here and there expressing disappointment at aotd not giving us more answers about the lore of Salacia and the Whale Prophet and all that, and i agree, it's a bit disappointing to not know definitively what's going on with them.

BUT.

I THINK THE LORE WAS IN FRONT OF US THIS WHOLE FUCKING TIME.

if you liked my analysis of "Aortic Desecration," "SOS," and "Blazing Star," then hopefully you'll like my analysis (and HEAVY theorizing) of Dethklok's most enigmatic running theme—the "Murmaider" trilogy of songs.

okay strap in i'm probably gna sound like charlie day's pepe silvia rant. i'm gonna start just by breaking down the story of the "Murmaider" trilogy i'll also be skipping any lyrics in the songs that aren't directly connected to by analysis/theory (such as the parts where nathan is just listing different murder weapons or chanting "murmaider").

so, starting with murmaider. this is the only song of the trilogy to actually make an appearance in the show, with the other two being exclusive to their respective dethalbums, but even still, this song only plays for a few seconds, and it's just the chorus. this song appeared in "dethwater," the same episode that established dethklok's connection to the water. this episode also notably featured toki's guitar picking up the sounds of whales (something that would later be revisited when edgar noticed this in season 4 and began decoding the whales' messages).

There are no fingerprints deep underwater Nothing to tie one to a crime And if you seek vengeance All you need are instruments of pain

so the story being established here is pretty clear. some unknown protagonist that nathan is speaking to is going to kill someone underwater so that he can seek vengeance and not get caught.

But beware For when you quench your bloodthirst Others will seek vengeance on you And they won't rest until you're dead

nathan warns this protagonist that his actions will cause those related to the victim to seek vengeance on him. fair enough.

Hold your breath and swim and strain Smell of death, can't escape Blood will cloud, drift away Attract the murders of mermaids It's so cold, they all know What you've done, you can't run Vengeance is the law for thee A thousand leagues below the sea

this is where it starts to get interesting. the fact that those that are seeking vengeance on our protagonist are mermaids says to me that the initial victim was a mermaid. if not a mermaid, they were at least some kind of sea creature. otherwise, why would the mermaids care all that much? care to the point of vengeance? but the next portion sinks this theory for me.

You've been tracked, you've been seen Murdering the next of kin Ate their hearts, drank their blood Washed your fins in blackened mud

"murdering the next of kin" is very important. next of kin to what? or to whom? did our protagonist kill a mermaid/sea creature's child?

Now you swim, try to hide Heart beats faster from inside Thought it was a big charade Your life was ended by mermaids

so our protagonist tries to escape from the mermaids seeking vengeance on him, hiding in the water, but in the water, the mermaids are able to find him, and they kill him.

now let's look at murmaider ii: the water god. already, this song seems important, namedropping a god and all.

The gods watch over you And they consider what you've done But now you've hidden away to gain your strength Deep in a cave Your power is regained And your legacy has spread to the deepest of the sea The one that brought them vengeance That fights for his belief

now, this is where the theorizing really starts to come in. who is this that nathan is speaking to? this figure that nathan is speaking to here is a figure that has "brought [...] vengeance." specifically, it seems that they've brought vengeance to the gods that now watch over them. is this the same protagonist as in "Murmaider?" that seems impossible, as it's implied that that protagonist died. though that protagonist was bringing vengeance, but we're not sure whom to. we also don't know for sure if the mermaids who allegedly killed the previous protagonist are gods or work with gods. put a pin in this.

He can swim through matter He has poisoned teeth His tentacles have murdered His scream can kill the weak He's got explosives (check) Corrosives (check) A master of the art of murder Mermaids weep the blackened tears

despite this being in third person, this still is referring to the protagonist whom nathan is speaking to. this is a direct continuation of nathan speaking about his legacy as "the one that brought them vengeance / that fights for his belief." this is establishing the power that the protagonist has. anyway, mermaids crying blackened tears over this protagonist? seems important.

So you swim to a sunken ship Invited by a soul who bleeds from the lips The prophet, who beckons you, wades in the dark Speaks an ancient language, this language is of sharks

HEY LOOK A WATER PROPHET, THAT SOUNDS FAMILIAR. however, this isn't the water prophet we're most familiar with—we're familiar with a whale (not a shark) whom is referred to with she/her pronouns (not he/him). but that doesn't mean this isn't important. put up another pin.

He says, "You're the one that I decree The one who can save us and set us free You've gained the power of a deity You have the strength to wake us from this sleep" [...] And the prophet gives to you this warning: "If this path is chosen you'll be met with strife For you'll be seen as an enemy of the sacred And the gods will curse you for the rest of your life" And you say, "I get by just fine (check) I've known much worse life (check) I've conquered dark times (check) They should fear my might (check)"

so this shark prophet, as i'll refer to him, is telling our protagonist that, because of their power, they will get the right to further divine powers so long as the protagonist uses this power to help..."us." however, in freeing the nebulous "us," this puts our protagonist in conflict with the gods and other holy/sacred beings. this doesn't dissuade our protagonist, having full confidence in his abilities and power.

So now you know then, go then Swim on through the cold then Harness your strength Because one day you may be called To meet the mighty gods Deep within the ocean And if you're not prepared Your soul will not be spared

OKAY BOYS, HERE'S WHERE IT'S GETTING FUCKING INTERESTING. our protagonist is told to lay low, gather strength, and wait for the moment when they will go up against the ocean deities. again, DOES THIS SOUND FAMILIAR? don't forget this, but take out that pin from earlier. this protagonist is the same protagonist as in "Murmaider." he didn't die—his "life was ended," but given his divine power and strength, that doesn't necessarily mean death in the permanent sense. the mermaids were bitterly weeping about this protagonist, someone that they thought they had killed but whom is still alive, getting stronger, waiting...

Your eyes have gone black You'll never look back You'll never stop swimming You'll always be tracked Your life has transformed Your power has grown Your minions stretch for leagues For a bloodied coral throne A crown of murdered foes Will sit upon your head Those that wish to challenge you Will wish that they were dead The beasts of the sea will collect and submit Pray for your forgiveness and live as you permit

okay, pretty straightforward yet again. the protagonist is getting stronger, hiding away from the mermaids, gathering minions, killing those in his way. "the beasts of the sea will collect and submit." this is a warning.

And you say, "I am the water god You will bow to the water god You will live for the water god And you will die for the water god" [...] And the deities loom nearer They will find you

the power has gone to our protagonist's head. he is demanding fealty, proclaiming his own divinity, whilst the true divine beings continue to track him down.

okay. murmaider iii. let's look at the conclusion of this story.

The blackened deep The coral keep The dying king Will no one weep? Ruled in fury Incurred his debt This wretched prize Crown of regret Scavenger Savager Blasphemer Vile Violator Tormentor Murmaider Guile

once again, pretty straightforward. our protagonist, who had decided himself a water god, a ruler, is dying. he's been a vicious ruler, and he may have regrets over this, but he also may not wish to go back on anything he's done.

Within this dying sea The Murmaid Three arrive These witches have foreseen The end of everything

three hags with the power of foresight? damn that's crazy, i too love the three fates from greek mythology.

They say, "Your power blinds you Your DETH will find you Vengeance from your enemies Your kingdom crushed, your subjects bleed Refuse defiance Forge this alliance From the land (check), from the sky (check) And from the blackened fire"

so, the murmaid three are giving our protagonist a chance to avoid his fate of a vicious death. let's note, firstly, that the spelling DETH is important in mtl, as this is the spelling used when referring to the dethlights, and other divine power harnessed by dethklok. but looking past that because we haven't gotten to the analysis portion yet, our protagonist has already forged alliances with land and sky deities, just not from the deities of blackened fire. interesting, blackened fire is also a reoccurring theme in mtl, i wonder if that's important.

The end's approaching (We survive) Darkness encroaching (We survive) This nautic land (We survive) Our final stand (We will swim, check) We will swim (We will fight, check) We will fight (In the deep, check) In the deep

the protagonist doesn't seem to care about forging this alliance, instead choosing to fight.

The final dream The gleaming reef The silver light The murmaids sing The blackened fire The blazing sky The pluming ink The sea beast cry His final sleep But we survive

hey wow, namedropping "Murmaider," "Black Fire Upon Us," and "Blazing Star" all in one verse? damn that's crazy. anyway the protagonist fucking died, but "we" survives. i think the "we" is meant to be dethklok, like. just pretty clearly. nathan and dethklok have never been portraying anyone besides themselves in this series of songs, just singing to/about the protagonist.

anyway, i think this was all about salacia and the whale prophet, with salacia being our protagonist.

i think salacia, back when he was a proper god, fully fused with the four other souls, was a powerhungry god. at some point, he felt wronged by the whale prophet in some way or another, and he killed her child. the mermaids went to try to get vengeance on him, and they thought they killed him, but what they really did was separate the four souls from him, sending them into the doomstar.

salacia fled the ocean from her. now that he was so wounded and only at half his power and strength, staying in the water would allow the whale prophet to find him. this shark prophet in the story, though, is a figure that doesn't show up anywhere in mtl. but we know that salacia can change form, so, why not the whale prophet? though, yes, she wants vengeance too, but she also wants to see what he's capable of. she needs to know what she's up against, after all. she tells him just to rest up, wait for when she calls upon him. but he doesn't do that. he harnesses further power from her, using it to start a reign of terror.

eventually though, he realizes the truth of what/who she is, and he flees the water. out of the water, he no longer has connection to the whale prophet's power, and his own natural powers are dwindling. this would be around the time that he starts the tribunal in a final attempt to regain his lost power. the tribunal is his alliance with the land (check), and his attempt to seek power from the doomstar and the four souls is his alliance with the sky (check). that just leaves dethklok as the blackened fire. i'm not gonna go into a whole analysis of "black fire upon us" to prove i'm right, but they've been connected with the imagery of blackened fire for a long time...ughh i'll get into it in another post. but anyway, salacia doesn't foster an alliance with dethklok, instead using and harming them to get what he wants. the blazing doomstar endows dethklok with the power of the dethlights, and they use that power to send salacia back to the water, where the whale prophet devours him, finally getting her vengeance from what he'd done all those years ago.

this all might be a stretch. as i was finishing this, i was starting to think i was crazy, and maybe i am. maybe i'm way overthinking this, and we'll never truly know what the hell was going on with salacia and the whale prophet and all that god stuff. that's fine with me, tbh. but i hope you all like my little theory, this took me two hours to write once i thought of it while waiting for the bus.

[captain-lessship]

Hello ! Can I ask for a 2d x female reader who protects him from Murdoc? (Like he hits 2d all the time :( ..

A/n: beware of blood and yelling<3

- You didn’t like Murdoc. It was simply impossible to enjoy the company of a man who hits your boyfriend and berates him.

- You try to keep 2D away from him as much as you can but the truth of the matter is that he is the singer in Murdoc’s band

-2D worries that you’ll see him as weak if he ever says anything about it but you only could see him as strong

-On the days when Murdoc is particularly mean, 2D will curl up on your lap and soft cry as you rub his back. These days really make you wanna hunt Murdoc down and drown him like a rat but 2D stops you.

-“Can’t have my girl going to jail.”

- It didn’t take Murdoc long to realize not to hit or yell at 2D in front of you. You have been known to snap at him and you get personal. (2D has hand to drag you out of the room)

-There are times that 2D has nightmare L’s about the more traumatic things Murdoc has done/ has let happen to 2D. You often just sit up with him as you listen and consul him.

-“I hate whales. They-They’re so whale-y! Why do they have to be so whale-y!” “I don’t know but it’s okay, it’s okay. I won’t let the whales get you, sweetheart.”

Then there was the only and only time you and Murdoc got into a fight. A fist fight.

A fresh outta jail Murdoc decides it was a good idea to try and insult 2Ds attempt at an album without him. Before 2D could stop you, you wheeled around and punched Murdoc in the face with the anger that had built up over the years. Murdoc hit the ground, clutching his face.

“Say shit like that again you green bastard and I will fuck you up!” You screeched at him as 2D grabbed you by your waist and Noodle tan to inspect the damage on Murdoc’s face.

He rose up off the floor, thick red liquid running from under his hand, an evil and surprised glare came from him. You were about to pop off again until 2D finally got a good enough grip to pull you away and out of the room.