#better one generation late than never amirite?

[duckapus]

You know, of the three remaining Heroes Entei will probably be the easiest to find since it's 1: not hanging out up in the stratosphere and 2: not a species that's endangered and/or extinct.

...The trick is finding the right Entei (and the fact that it's specifically built for traveling across entire oceans and continents in a matter of days, but that's perhaps slightly less of an issue). They can obviously rule out the few Entei that currently have trainers, but based on Moltres and Rayqaza being normal sized they can't just assume it'll be a giant (and thus Obviously Not Normal) like Arboliva and Lapras were.

(and yes I subscribe to there being multiples of most legendaries, at least in the anime. even if Horizons turns out to be a different continuity from the Ash era (which I highly doubt) we know there have to be at least multiple Rayquaza since the color of Lucius's Rayquaza was called out as unusual and it's been in a ball for about a century despite the fact that Rayquaza has Important Responsibilities that have definitely been getting done that whole time given the world hasn't been destroyed by meteors and/or Kyogre and Groudon's stupid sibling rivalry)

On the other hand, there might be some conflicting data to deal with when looking for a giant hundred-plus-year-old Kleavor considering... you know... the whole Noble Pokemon Thing that would absolutely be clearly documented (one or two centuries isn't that long ago, historically speaking, and the Noble Pokemon were very much Public Knowledge back when they were still a Thing, at least in the game continuity).

[mdhwrites]

The Grimwalker as a concept was so weird. Mainly that Hunter was all 'ohhhh no we cant tell them im a spooky Grimwalker!' But... why would anyone care? The only reason given is that hes a reincarnation of a guy nobody even knows or cares about. Theres not even like, a spooky myth about Grimwalkers because its got such a vague ruleset and premise. He's barely different from a demon.

That COULD have linked to the demon discrimination plotline youve talked about, but there is none so it cant be that. Which i understand was partially because Dana wanted the gays to just exist, so she scrapped discrimination in general. But, a big part of forming cultures and identity is 'Otherness'. People compare themselves to others and define themselves by how theyre different. So scrapping discrimination ends up making the witchs and demons feel like nothing. They have nothing to compare their identity and culture against because theres just no conflict to spark comparison.

This lack of substance also means the fans don't care about Grimwalkers. See the moring comic where the Grimwalker was turned into ANOTHER way to say 'haha Boscha so cringe amirite? point and laugh because she has nobody who loves her.' even though the grimwalker is to reincarnate the dead.

OH MY GOD I'M SO HAPPY SOMEONE ELSE NOTICED THAT! *SCREAMS BLOODY MURDER* Like I know Mark just writes Boscha how the entire fandom sees her (which hasn't helped me enjoy A Hint of Blue, not that I think it's good regardless) but seriously what the fuck!? Why do that to her except just to be mean!?

*sighs* What were we talking about? OH RIGHT! Grimmwalkers.

So for why Hunter has anxiety, it actually is because TOH is doing a very basic clone/artificial human storyline with Hunter and those arcs are actually a lot more internally motivated than externally motivated. Clone lives a life believing they're their own person, then one day finds out they're not, perceives themselves as less because of this distinction but then in the end decides that regardless of their origin, they are their own person and so throw off their shackles, embrace who they are and become better for it. It has nothing to do with race and while it is baby's first clone story, I also still like it conceptually because, well, there's a reason why it's the default clone story. It especially is good for kid's media because while the clone can struggle with the anxiety of it, their friends never have to actually be bad or discriminatory against them because the point is loving yourself for who you are and not who you were made to be.

But I've talked before about how this basic framework actually has a Catch 22 built into it when it comes to Hunter... Which apparently Tumblr wants to tell me I've never done before. Thanks search function. The short version is that this template requires not only a rejection of what they were made for but for them to become distinctly different, usually opposite, to their purpose/original. For Hunter, he only knows Belos so this takes shape in trying to be the opposite of him. The problem is that the opposite of Belos... Is Caleb. Who Hunter mimics in every action he takes after getting away from Belos. There's literally no way to follow this template without adding complexities like him accepting his true origin and being okay/happy with that, something that was probably unlikely in general but especially wasn't going to happen with the shortening, which I will actually give people for. Because the Grimmwalker twist happens so late, they either had to cut it or had no time to actually do anything with it which like... Why not cut it? You did nothing with it and it actually made sure you didn't have the time to actually have Hunter reject Belos' morality so that his redemption doesn't come across as self serving and for survival more than an actual, you know, change to his beliefs.

As for how interesting Grimmwalkers are... They're just clones. Boilerplate, boring clones. Make a body based on another person, put memories in, BAM! Got yourself a clone. Doesn't get more classic than that. It's hardly even magical honestly besides the components, especially with how it actually doesn't give them magic despite those components, or have weird quirks since they're not actually made of flesh and blood, elements that the fans have had a lot of fun with that the show never does, though admittedly part of that is due to how late it happens. Then again, all magic in TOH is boring so it's not likely they would have anyways. Also, you know, a lot of shows will do a single clone episode and have more fun and magic to it than TOH does with one of their core cast members being one so *shrug*

Now, for the final part, I do want to also touch on the 'other' aspect because while discrimination is one way to do it, you can get this across in other ways. One such way is the core defining trait of the Grimmwalker from a tangible standpoint: He doesn't have magic. In a society that mostly has magic, him not having it is a big deal. It's literally what gives him and Willow their first connection as a couple, as insulting as that scene actually should be to Hunter.

And then Hunter is 'fixed' when he gains his magic. His 'other' status removed because he's a real boy now. *SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGH*

I have so much more I could say about TOH and 'The Other' (made a blog about a lot of it between writing this draft and publish) but I'll leave it at that so it actually stays on topic instead of the half a dozen tangents I've deleted. None of this makes it good by the way and with how TOH tackles most subjects like this, it's incredibly unlikely that more time would have made it better. After all, being a Grimmwalker is only one of like a half dozen TANTALIZING character/arc concepts for Hunter that are never addressed. The fact that he is trained to kill witches and likely has. His relationship with the Isles because he doesn't have inherent magic. The fact that he is filled with such care for the nation and its government that it blocks out all else in his world. How a sheltered child reacts when they suddenly have freedom and are thrust into the wider world. Etc. etc. that are just footnotes to the writers more than anything to actually build a complete arc around or else they wouldn't have just keep adding to the angst bucket without actually resolving any of it.

So of course Grimmwalkers are bland while being a fine to good concept that's then made terrible by narrative implication or neglect. That's EVERYTHING to do with Hunter.

======+++++=====

Sidenote for this one: It is funny that Dana wanted there to be no bigotry in the Isles when her villains entire scheme is through religious persecution. You know, bigotry. Whole other blog I could go into.

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead. If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

A Twitter you can follow too

And a Kofi if you like what I do and want to help out with the fact that disability doesn’t pay much.

[bagalois]

we have break for the rest of the week because of jewish holidays, but i need to study still. midterm exams are next week, held the day after we get back. i have a homework assignment due on the same day as one of my tests.

i feel like i'm constantly complaining about my workload, but i kind of do it out of endearment. i'm happy to even have the chance to be here. there was a time when i dreamed of research, and while i'm still not there yet, i'm finally on track for that. i think my dreams are finally within sight.

(some sappy emotional stuff under the cut)

to be honest, lately i've been feeling really, idk, out of it. there's an emptiness that's been creeping along on me for the past few months, and i can't bring myself to take it seriously because "it's not too bad." but then i find myself thinking and doing things that aren't, umm, very mentally stable, more and more often.. and just to be clear i'm very safe. i'm not in any real danger of anything besides bad school performance and maybe some hits to my general health. nothing major. i've been trying to keep myself relaxed, rested, and focused on academics/work in the meantime, but still, i need to think about how i'm going to manage my mental/physical health through the rest of the semester.

especially with my classmates gone for the week, there's nobody around me and i need to study but it's hard to bring myself to care when nobody's physically around. i've always been an extrovert, feeding off the energy of others.

i feel like, at my core, i don't really care about anything. but it's also true that if i fail out of the phd program, that might as well be the end for me. so in that sense, i definitely do care, but i don't feel like i do. there's no urgency in me. i can't get anything done, i can't get myself to focus. but i need to pick myself up, i have exams.

at one point, it was important for me to stress and put this pressure on myself, but because i got tired of it, i stopped. i accepted the reality of failure, and now i might even be expecting/anticipating it. now my lack of drive is killing me.

i think.. i need to challenge that again. i was tired of putting the pressure on myself, but i need to turn it back on. in any case, i'm not alone in my academic journey - even if i don't care, all the people who got me here in the first place do. i like to tell myself, the internet is watching me. my friends are watching me. the past and future versions of me are expecting the best from present me. my professors will only accept excellent performance out of me. only after i put everything i'm capable of into my studies, am i allowed to decide whether i'm done with this or not.

anyways, i love everyone who interacts with my posts <3 you don't know how much it means to me.

i am tentatively thinking that i might want to get straight As on my midterms.... i don't know if i'm even capable of it. it'd be nice certainly. i'm almost afraid to hope and disappoint myself, but better to have loved and lost than never loved at all amirite lmao.

i'm going to go to one of the classrooms today and study and work on my homework that's due after break. i hope i get everything done that i want to.

[awrittenrebirth]

childhood regression ... kinda. (just pink and lots of hello kitty)

hello kitty/ childhood regression stage is peaking! everything pink and plush, soft and cute is a major attraction to me rn. my room looks more like a childhood bedroom than it looked like when i was a child... this begs the question, why do i see myself particularly, more than ever, drawn towards (what some may say childish, juvenile) things? I know why, comfort. there is comfort and smiles when holding a plush , cute toy and generally leaning into one's inner child. god knows, my inner child needed some hearty comfort at times. better late than never to discover hello kitty amirite?!

[jeongvision]

my favourite virgo uwu congrats on your 1k milestone! it honestly felt like yesterday when you asked me if you should post a short drabble and i'm glad you did :') i'm going to make a request 👉🏼👈🏼 jaehyun + teacher or roommates!au (you pick! it doesn't matter to me ily) + “Quick, my ex just walked in! Pretend that we’re dating.” I LOVE YOU AND AGAIN CONGRATS ON 1K 💗

pairing. roommate! jeong jaehyun ✗ fem! reader

genre. fluff, idiots to lovers au

warnings. profanities, bantering, mentions of food & food poisoning, semi proofread

author's note. lmao i know i'm like.. super late perhaps a year late but better late than never, amirite? (; but heads up tho ya girl is more rusted than the statue of liberty so bare with me here ahhh

be sure to read the notes at the end of this! it’s a mini surprise hehe

“I don’t like you.”

Jaehyun paused scrolling through his phone, shifting his attention to you seated across from him, a smug look decorated on your face.

He pocketed his phone away. “As I’ve been told," he said unfazed.

“Your face pisses me off.”

“Funny, people usually tell me the opposite.”

"I don't give a rat's ass on what other people think," you spat. Grabbing your iced beverage, you took an obnoxious sip, purposely of irritating the man in front of you.

His left eye just barely twitches...

.. and there goes a sigh.

Perfect.

"What do you want?" he groaned.

You smirked. "I’m not paying next month’s rent.”

He scoffs, “Careful, (name). You sound like you're falling in love with me."

You couldn't help but roll your eyes, slamming your drink back on the table. Both of you are currently at a quaint café, situated at a table next to their window wall. The sun beamed against your skin, warming you from the cool air blasting from their central AC system. It gave you both a clear view of passerby’s as you both indulged in your beverages, but it’s hard to enjoy your drink when your roommate refuses to sympathize with your financial situation.

"Come on," you whined. "I haven't been working the past few weeks because of finals, and I barely have enough money in my account to last me a week.”

Jaehyun shrugged his shoulders. "Not my problem. We had an agreement to split the rent, so you have to uphold your end of the agreement."

You could feel a vein on your forehead throbbing. "Jae, you're literally swimming in money, what the fuck. Just cut me some slack for this month and I'll pay next month's."

“Nope,” he remarked, pulling his phone out.

“I’ll pay it in full.”

“What do you want for dinner?”

"Don't ignore me!"

"I think I’m in the mood for some Thai food.”

You see him scrolling on your phone, most likely looking for nearby Thai restaurants to order takeout from. You rolled your eyes. “Doesn’t matter to me,” you shrugged. “Just don’t order from that pizza place again. I got food poisoning from there.”

He rolled his eyes, “Listen, it was Mingyu’s idea to try that place out.”

“Well, tell your friend Mingyu that he has shitty tastes in pizzas.”

“Noted,” he chuckled.

The memory of it sent chills down your spine. You remembered when he came home one day, a warm box of pizza in hand, freshly made as you could tell from its divine smell wafting in the room. You were chastised to steal the box away from your roommate and swallow it all up in the confines on your bedroom, only to be blocked by Jaehyun when he held a hand out to stop you, already seeing the cogs turn in your head as you eyed on the box.

It was odd to see the restaurant’s name not imprinted on the box of the cardboard box, only a generic clipart of an Italian street with the word ‘PIZZA’ enlarged across it. But you didn’t pay much attention to it then, your starving self was more focused on eating your delectable dinner and satiating your tastebuds.

However, that night ended with you and Jaehyun deteriorating in your respective bathrooms, begging to any living deity out there to grant you mercy from the horrendous suffering you both went through as a result of that pizza.

Needless to say, it took you three months to get over your pizza-phobia.

The bell at the café’s entrance rang, bringing your attention back to reality. You looked past Jaehyun to catch a glimpse of the customer that just walked in, only for you to drop your jaw.

"Oh my god.." you murmured.

Your roommate stopped what he was doing, aware of the dreadful tone behind your words. He looked at you with concern.

"What’s wrong?" he asked.

The customer lets out a sigh, a rush of cool air brushing against his flushed skin before scanning the interior.

"He... He's here.”

He raised an eyebrow, “Who’s here?”

What a lucky day it is for you because that same customer managed to catch your eyes directed on him, sending your body into a state of panic. Fuck, he wasn’t supposed to see you! He slowly starts to stride over to your table, prompting your fight or flight to kick in at full force.

“Quick, my ex just walked in! Pretend that we’re dating.”

“What the hell is goi–”

“(Name)! Is that you, I see?”

You gulped, fruitlessly easing your nerves, your mind running a mile a minute. You could feel your hands feeling clammy and internally curse yourself. You can feel bile forming in the back of your throat as you mustered up the courage to look up at your ex

You feigned a smile. “N-Nice to see you, too, Seokmin. Didn’t know that you were in the area.”

Jaehyun raised an eyebrow at you at the mention of your ex’s name.

“Yeah, my girlfriend asked me to pick up some coffee for her and saw this place in passing.”

You felt yourself quiver for a second at the mention of girlfriend, but rebounded when he looked back at your roommate, as his back was faced to the entrance.

“Oh, my apologies! You had company here, it seems. Your name?”

“Oh, him,” you gulped. “He’s–”

“Her boyfriend, Jeong Jaehyun,” he responded

Your jaw goes slack from the latter’s quick response, seeing how he stood up from his seat to shake the latter’s hand. Seokmin looks back at him in shock, processing his words.

“O-Oh, you’re her boyfriend?”

Jaehyun nodded in response, his signature dimpled smile plastered on his face as he reached his hand out for a shake. “Indeed, I am, and I’m loving every second of it,” he chuckled. “And you are?”

Your ex returned the handshake, or more like only gripped his hand, seeing as how neither party didn’t move any more than that. The atmosphere surrounding the two men suddenly turned too thick for you to bear, further failing to quell the anxiety surfacing at every corner of your body. You didn’t know what to expect when Jaehyun surprisingly acquiesced to your plan, but the rigid stance in your ex’s posture is more than what you expected in response.

“Didn’t think that (name) would move on so quickly,” he commented.

Jaehyun narrowed his eyebrows. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“We had history, you know.”

“No, I don’t know, because you were never brought up in our conversations.”

“She’s never mentioned me in passing?”

Jaehyun faked pondering for a moment.

“Nope,” he answered, pointedly popping the last syllable, “probably not important enough to talk about.”

“A-Anyways,” you intervened, “i-it was really nice meeting you again, but my boyfriend and I were in the middle of an important discussion before you came over, if you don’t mind.”

Your ex relents, finally letting go of Jaehyun’s hand before facing you again with a forced smile.

“Of course, where are my manners?” he remarked. You noticed how tense his jaw become. “It was nice seeing you again, (name). Hope to see you around.”

“Hope that you don’t,” you heard Jaehyun mumbling under his breath. You sucked in a breath when your ex turned to glare at your ‘boyfriend’, but quickly recomposed himself before waving at you, and only you, goodbye.

You let out a bated breath you didn’t know you were holding in. That whole interaction drained all the energy out of your body, slumping your figure against your seat as Jaehyun sat back down. You couldn’t help but sneak a glance at your ex standing by the counter, waiting for his order you deduced. You should’ve known it was inevitable to meet your ex one day, but that doesn’t mean that you were fully prepared for the moment.

You bit on your lip.

“Thanks… for covering me back there,” you softly spoke.

In your peripheral, you could tell that his face remained impassive, but you can from his eyes that he had question he wanted to ask, prodding you for some answers.

“Yes, it’s that ex from last year,” you grimaced.

“The one you called crying to me while I was on my date?”

You winced at the memory of it. It wasn’t your intention to interrupt his date back then. Your mind was voided of all logic, too distressed to remember that your roommate had made plans that evening. You only thought about that breakup phone call you had minutes prior, and how you needed someone to grieve to.

And the first person to come to mind was Jaehyun.

Short to say, you’ve never seen him go on any more dates after that, stating his reasons that your well being was his first priority. You offered multiple times to set him up with blind dates in repayment of screwing up his date night, but he rejects at every attempt you made. Sorry, but your breakup messed with my dating game, so save yourself the hassle, he said one time.

“Y-Yeah.”

“Kind of figured, his name sounded familiar” he shrugged, taking a sip of his drink. “Still can’t believe you made me ditch my hot date for your snotty self.”

“You could’ve just said no,” you scowled.

“I find it rather insulting that you’d think I could leave you alone like that. You were sobbing so loud that my date heard you, for god’s sake.”

Nevertheless, you can feel his fingers encapsulating your hand, thumb rubbing against the back of your fingers. It certainly did help calm you down, but your heart starts racing once again for a whole different reason.

“But… you did good,” he murmured.

You looked at him confused.

“Your ex, I mean,” he clarified. “Back then, you couldn’t bear to hear the sound of his name, and yet you were able to face your ex in person even if it was all fake. That’s come to show that you’ve healed from back then, or at least still healing. But still, that’s not an easy thing to do.”

He gives your hand a firm squeeze, and your chest warms at the kind gesture.

“I know I don’t say it often, but I’m proud of you, (name). Always am and always will.”

If you two weren’t in a public place, you could cry right then and there–curse the heavens for putting you at an unfavorable setting. You swore you felt somersaults in your chest, endorphins coursing through your veins. You squeezed his hand back in response, a smile gracing your features to mask the turmoil in your heart and mind.

“Thank you, Jaehyun. That means a lot to me.”

He smiles back, and the Gods whispered to you at that moment that no one could compare to the man before you. Nodding his head towards the exit, he gets up from his seat.

“How about we go get dinner and rewatch some High School Musical at home? Sounds good to you?”

You’re already up and out of you seat, thrilled to spend any waking moment with your favorite moment by yourself.

“Does that mean I’m not paying next month’s rent?”

“Absolutely not.”

author’s note. if you haven’t noticed from the way i ended the fic, this story is set place in the same universe as my can i borrow? series! this is actually the beginning of their budding relationship which you can see that actually blooms into an established one further into my works.

hope you enjoyed it! let me know what you guys think and be sure to reblog it too <3

[cinnamonbean]

So I recently read The Wasp's Nest by @demonslayedher, and as usual, began obsessing. I've been following the author here under my main blog for a while, and it's very easy to add onto or hyperfixate on their ideas. I genuinely can't find many blogs like theirs, but it's really cool; and I want to appreciate that.

Below the cut is going to be a simple collection of thoughts I had upon reading chapter one because,, oh my goodness; I have a lot?? For some reason? And I will probably never be able to use them myself.

Whether or not I make this a mini-series for every chapter or few chapters is. Up for debate. I have a lot going on in my personal life right now, so we'll see. This is just Mocha rambling about a cool fic instead of working on their own fics goodbye.

Please keep in mind I did not read chapter two.

Please read the following with only chapter one in mind. I had to force myself to avoid chapter two to ensure I would finish this post. And while I contemplating that art I wanted to post alongside the icons,, I concluded that would take too long. So. Later.

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• You probably can't see it through the ugly filters but I used the opposite color from Kobayashi-San's hairclip for Mita's eyes. Vice versa for Kobayashi-San's eyes too.

• I know it looks more like green flame but I was actually trying to use water lilies as the motif for Kobayashi-San's eyes! :) I couldn't think of anything cool for Mita's,, so I made it the same flower shape as Koyuki-San's in vain efforts of referencing it to those round-winged butterflies people make? ,,,

• I can't really use butterfly symbolism for the clips. I also improvised on the colors since I really deadass did not know what colors to use. 💀 I didn't use light blue for the border of Kobayashi-San's because they reminded me of the flowers on Makomo's mask,, and I had a Hashira au where she had those colors on her own hairclip,,, I don't mind changing it if it helps the accuracy of the fic! >:)

• Speaking of hair clips,, you gave me a really good headcanon idea for Kanae rereading one of your older posts, but I will probably post it on it's own as a separate post.

• I'm automatically taking everything Mita says with a grain of salt?? Like she seems nice, just. She runs her mouth too much. Is it to cope? Hmm. It'd be interesting to see if Ichijo-Senpai had a larger impact on everyone than we're made aware. Like. Is it really so black and white that Kanao began smiling because of Kanae and Shinobu? Maybe she's just so used to seeing people die because of those other students that she really doesn't think the people she made it past final selection with won't make much of a difference. (I'm salty they were the only five because of plot armor, but that's a story for another day.)

• Mainly because of my personal unrelated headcanons, but I really don't think of Ichijo-Sempai as mean? But if she is,, I can see her contributing to Mita's general moodiness. Bad influences amirite. But also the possibility of her being generally nice and having her parallel one if not both of Mita and Kobayashi-San as we read along makes me weak in the knees.

• I couldn't decide if I liked freckles or facial acne for Mita better, so I gave her both and gave her that emo pale skin. Assholes don't get to have pretty faces I don't make the rules 🙄 (/hj).

• Shinobu, because of your content of her and how she acted in the fic gives me vibes of a practical woman who doesn't care for detailed or pretty looking things. Or believes in doing things simply because you like them. Which makes that scene of her eating with Giyuu even funnier. Like. "You're smiling at your food? D i s g u s t i n g." (/j).

• I'm also. Very sorry. Like VERY SORRY. BECAUSE FOR THE LIFE OF ME I CAN'T DRAW BLACK HAIR IT'S JUST NOT POSSIBLE FOR ME... Ya start with a color you think is close enough to black without being back. Then you add colored accents, put in shading. The lighting. And then, only when it's too late, you realize it. You've given them completely different hair colors. I swear I'm colorblind. (/sarc).

• I was also just too lazy to make the mouths. So they're pitch black and ugly. You're welcome :')

Here's the icons without filters! I originally wanted to make them edited with like gif thingy backgrounds?? BUT I DON'T KNOW HOW,, and I'm not waiting until chapter ten or worse is posted while I'm trying to figure this stuff out.

Before anyone asks, these are free to use, edit, etc. with credit. But really. I'm already cringing at several things in these icons. Really, where are Mita's ears even. Fjsnfjsjf.

Thank you for reading and have a good... whatever time it is where you are. 🚶‍♀️and ty for reading this if you read all the way through.

[alovesongshewrote]

If you’re taking requests, maybe something about Doux finding the reader absolutely delirious from lack of sleep? I may or may not have gotten literally any sleep last night and although I managed to get through my morning routine pretty efficiently I FEEL my body just wiping out. I will be comatose within the hour.

Sleep, Darling | Hisirdoux Casperan x Reader

Plot:  you’ve been awake for too long and it is not doing you any favours.  Thank god for punk wizards who care about your wellbeing, amirite lads?  (Also, the pure Irony that this is getting posted at like, 2:40 am where i am, rip me i guess)

Word Count: 2,292

Warnings:  A bit of blood is mentioned in passing, the reader isn’t human and probably has adhd or smthn.  Also, Friends is mentioned, like, the tv show, so that’s a thing!

A/N:   if you look closely, you can actually see me projecting onto this one.  I hope you got some sleep anon.

Tags:   @furblrwurblr @einahpetsyarcip @sorrels-scribbling @anxious-stitcher @alive-and-afraid @animedweeb333 @douxiesdamsel @saroski05

Time isn’t real.  It’s a social construct made to bring order to the general chaos that is human existence.  That was why you were up at 5 a.m for the second, maybe third, night in a row.  Was it healthy?  Probably not, but you didn’t need sleep, you needed answers.  Answers to what?  Who knows at this point, honestly.

You couldn’t say you were surprised when you finally noticed the late, or early hour.  You just shrugged it off and went “fuck it, all-nighter,” which was fine for the moment.  But time’s a bitch, and that moment was over pretty fast.  By noon, you were ready to collapse.  The three cups of coffee did not help.  Instead, they made you vibrate at a frequency that could quite possibly break glass.  As much as this sucked for you, it was worse for your lovely friend and co-worker, Hisirdoux Casperan.

Now, our boi Douxie was and is madly in love with you, but shhh, it’s a secret.  You also love him, and that’s a secret too.  Neither of these secrets are well kept, and the only reason you aren’t together is general stupidity.  Literally, anyone else who watches the two of you interacting can tell that you're in love.  Hell, half the town assumes you’re together already.  The other half keeps trying to get you together.  It is not working very well.  But that’s all a digression.  What you really need to know is that Douxie loves you and watching you suffer from a lack of sleep was Not A Pleasant Experience.  You were delirious, shaky, and constantly off-balance.  You could work well enough, but it was clear that your health was not in the same zone.

The final straw came when you cut your hand on broken glass.  You’d dropped a cup, and instead of using magic, you’d tried to fix the mess by hand.  That plan did not work, and you received a bloody slash across your palm for your troubles.

“Ah.  Fuck,” you said, thinking you were whispering but instead speaking at a normal volume.

“What’s wrong, love?”

“‘S nothing, I’ve got it,” you did not got it, especially not in this state, and Douxie had the good sense to figure that out.  The blood was a pretty good hint though.

“Oh, fuzzbuckets.”

“I told you, I’m toooootally fine, there is nothing to worry about.”

“Here, (Y/N), let me help you-”

“No, no, this is, this is-” it was then that your sleep-deprived brain decided to cut off your train of thought and replace it with another, more chaotic train.  You stopped talking and just stared at Douxie for a solid minute.  Or at least it felt like a solid minute.  Time isn’t real, remember that.

“(Y-Y/N)?  You alright there, darling?”

“You’re really cute, did you know that?  Like… really cute.  Steve was right, you could be a model.”

“I-”

“Also, just gonna put it out there, I freakin’ love it when you call me darling.  Like, I know you call most people darling, but it makes me feel special.  Don’t ask why, it just does.”

Douxie wasn’t planning on asking why.  He wasn’t really planning on anything.  Your sleep-deprived half-confession had turned him from a capable individual into a blushing mess in less than a second.  You always had that effect on him, but it looked like your exhausted state was giving you a bit of an edge.

“Oh, sorry, I made it weird.  Anyway, do you think if I brewed my next coffee with Monster instead of water it would wake me up?   Because I’m still tired, and it isn’t fun.”

“I- you- I’m-”

“I think I might try it, honestly.”

“Ok, how about you don’t do that,”  Archie said, swooping in, literally and figuratively, to save the day, “Douxie, can you please get (Y/N)’s hand patched up?  It looks quite painful and they’re dripping blood onto the carpet.”

You were, in fact, dripping blood onto the carpet.  That wasn’t good, “Oh, that’s- I’m sorry.”

“Don’t fret, just go do something about that hand,” with that, Archie smacked Douxie upside the head in an attempt to snap him out of his flustered state.  It was super effective!

“Ahh, yeah.   C’mon, (Y/N), let’s,,, go,,, fix,,, that.”

“Ok,”  you stood, too tired to protest, and followed Douxie into the back of the bookstore, which was literally just his apartment.  

It was a nice place.  Very cozy, very him.  It made you want to curl up and take a nap, but to be fair, literally everything made you want to curl up and take a nap at the moment.  Regardless, his home made you feel warm and fuzzy on the inside and you never wanted to leave it.  Maybe it was the interior decorating, but you knew it was because your favourite person lived there.  What you didn’t know, or didn’t realize, was that you’d just spoken your entire thought process out loud and Douxie heard every word of it.  Once again, the boy was a blushing mess.  If you were awake enough to process things, you would have found it cute.  Or you’d be dead from embarrassment, that one is a bit of a toss-up.

Fighting through his flustered state, Douxie pulled you into the bathroom and collected a first aid kit from under the counter.  While he focused on getting things done, you curled into a ball in his bathtub.  For some reason, your exhausted brain decided that sitting on the edge of the bathtub simply did not Vibe™ but sitting inside the tub was better than nothing, and so you just,,, curled up there.  Douxie was only a little surprised to see you there.

“(Y/N)?”

“D’you remember that time on Friends when Winona Ryder played a closeted lesbian?  That was a fuckin’ trip, man.”

“(Y/N), darling-”

“That whole episode is just- it’s just strange.”

“(Y/N)-”

“Hehe, Stranger Things.”

“(Y/N), love, I need to see your hand.”

“Oh, fuck, yeah, I forgot.  Here,” you sat up, extending your hand out to the wizard.  He took it, sitting on the edge of the bathtub which was fine for him to do, I guess.  Not you though, you were stuck in bathtub jail for sleep deprivation crimes.

You squinted up at his face as he tended to the nasty scratch you’d given yourself.  You didn’t have the capacity to focus on what he was doing, so instead you focused on him.  He was pretty, as you’d said before, but that was always true.  At that exact moment, his brows were furrowed in concentration, his eyes concerned and his jaw set.  His hands were steadier than yours could ever hope to be, especially since you hadn’t been sleeping.  Overall, he looked kind of mad, so you sunk down into your bath-prison, silent and waiting for him to finish so you could get back to work.

Douxie was not mad at you.  He was upset that you hadn’t been sleeping, but he wasn’t mad.  He was just worried for your health.  Your wizard did not appreciate seeing you shaking and sleep-deprived.  He didn’t appreciate it when your current state led you to injure yourself, either.

He wrapped up your hand and gave it a small pat, “Done.  Now, come on, you’re taking a nap.”

His voice surprised you.  It was gentle, calm, not at all angry like you’d suspected.  You found yourself so lost in it that you didn’t realize what he’d said until he said your name, trying to snap you out of whatever haze you were in.

“Oh, wait, what?  No, shit, I have to get back to work-”

“No, you need sleep.”

“Sleep is for the weak, I need to go-” you stood and almost fell over.  You probably would have broken something if Douxie didn’t catch you.  You hadn’t exactly expected to end up in his arms today, and despite the heat rising in your face and neck, you were not complaining.

“(Y/N)-”

“I’m sorry, Douxie, I-”

“You need to sleep.  Please, (Y/N), don’t make me use a spell on you.”

You froze for a second before a smirk crept onto your face, “You wouldn’t.”

“I-”

“You wouldn’t use a spell on meeeeee-” the smirk grew into a full smile as you let yourself go limp, forcing him to move his hands to support you better and pull you closer to him.  Was that your plan?  Maybe.  Was it part of a second, bigger plan?  Also yes.

“You wanna bet?”

“Sure.”

“I-” and then he went silent.  There was a moment of tension where you just stared into each other’s eyes, holding your breath to see what the other person would do.  Your gaze fell to his lips as his fell to yours.  For that moment, your thoughts began to wander far out of your control.  Douxie’s mind was also running rampant but in a different direction.  You were right, he thought.  He couldn't use magic on you.  As far as he knew, you were a human.  Just a mortal being who crawled their way into his life and stayed there, improving the quality of it greatly.  If there was even the slightest chance that a spell may have negative side effects, which most sleep spells did, he wouldn’t dare risk it, especially not on you.  He sighed, tightening his grip on your waist, “You’re right.”

“What?”  Oop, plan going sideways, PLAN GOING SIDEWAYS!

“I’m- not going to use magic on you,” he helped you to stand, and moved to take a step back before you grabbed his hoodie and pulled him back to you, ignoring the sharp sting in your hand.

“Ok, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, hang on there wizard boy-” you took a moment to pull yourself out of the bathtub entirely, “You can’t give up that easily.”

“Wha-”

“Come onnnnnn, make it fun, make it exciting.  Put a spell on me or whatever, just-” you went quiet for a second, but for once you weren’t distracted.  Just quiet.  You had to face facts.  Your plan had failed, and now you had nothing but the truth.

“(Y/N)?”

“Just make my brain stop.  For just two seconds.”

“What?”

“Please.  I’m running on a motor and I can’t stop myself.  I haven’t slept and I have no choice in the matter.”

“(Y/N)-”

“Look, just, take away my free-will if you have to.  Knock me out, magic or otherwise, I just want five seconds where I’m not on hyperdrive,” you were standing on your own now, though Douxie’s arms were still wrapped around you and you hadn’t let go of his hoodie, “Please.”

The bathroom was silent for a minute.  It took that long for Douxie to process what you’d just said.  You feared, for that moment, that you’d said too much.  You hadn't.  Not to him, anyway.

“Come on.”

“What?”

“Come on,” he said, picking you up, effortlessly sweeping you off your feet.

“Wait, what!?” your voice was slightly more frantic, surprise lacing through your words.

“There’s more than one way to get a person to sleep.”

“Oh-?”

He didn’t respond to your question, instead, he carried you out the door and into what you could only assume was his room.  You had no choice but to wrap your arms around his neck and cling to him for dear life until he set you down on the bed.

“Stay here, okay?  I’m going to make you some tea-”

“Wait!” you stopped him, grabbing his wrist as he turned to leave, “I’m… I’m sorry.”

“You don’t need to be sorry, my darling,” he sat in front of you on the bed, “You just need to get some sleep, okay?”

“But what about-”

“I’ll cover your shift, you don’t need to worry.”

“I-”

“Just rest, for now, love.  Please.”

“Ok,” your words were a whisper, something that Douxie could only just hear.  The next thing though, he didn’t have to strain to hear at all, “Yeah.  I meant what I said earlier, by the way.  You’re so pretty, it isn’t fair.”

He laughed at this, at you, finally seeing some humour in your shenanigans.  He relaxed now knowing that you may actually get some much-needed rest.  He stood, kissing your forehead and tracing the side of your face with a hand, rough from guitar strings and 900 years of sweeping.

“Worry not, love, you’re pretty too.”

“Hey, wait-”

“Don’t ‘hey, wait,’ me.  You are.  Now lie down, I’ll be back in a second.”

A smile crept onto your face as you followed orders.  Your emo wizard man thought you were pretty.  And he cared enough about you to let you sleep during work hours, in his home, no less.  You let yourself relax into the bed, grinning once again.  It smelled like him, like thyme and peppermint, lemongrass and sleep.  It was nice, comforting.  You could only vaguely think of Douxie as your brain finally took a fuckin breather.  It was everything you needed, honestly.

By the time Douxie came back, you were long gone, lost to your dreams and finally asleep.  He sighed a smile that matched yours on his face.  He placed the cup of tea on the bedside table before grabbing a blanket out of his closet and draping it over you.  You looked so peaceful.  Good.  You deserved some peace every now and then.

He took the cup and left you, brushing a strand of hair out of your eyes as he did.  After making his exit, he placed the still-hot tea on the counter, disregarding it for now before returning to the bookshop.

“How are they?”  his familiar asked, tail twisting in concern.

He gave a final fond look at the door before returning to business, “They’re just resting.”  And for once, you were.

[coollyinterferes]

What would you consider is the most challenging aspect that comes with writing your character?

unprompted asks 【always accepting】

Hi, anon!! First of all, sorry to have kept you waiting (rl has been getting in the way a bunch as of late on top of my usual slowness orz)!! And I also apologize bc this is gonna get Long, so I hope that's okay! There's also gonna be some inevitable salt in some parts, so I hope that's alright, too ;v;

There are some aspects I still find kinda difficult, even after the years I've been writing for this dork tbh. One of them is probably the fleshing out of all those sides Speedwagon's character has and that a big chunk of the fandom sometimes completely forgets about or even pretends they don't exist at all for a variety of reasons. Same with the fleshing out of PB as a whole, too, as it's directly connected to the character in different ways, and the many things we didn't get to see on screen but that we were told that actually happened (or didn't happen in some cases). Much like with many other jojo characters, people tend to reduce Speedwagon's entire character to One Trait, though in his case its usually a trait taken from wrong ideas they got from all those "haha kono dio da funni amirite" memes, which is why you often see him being labelled as the "uwu soft and pure ball of blushu blushu virginal sunshine boi who can do no wrong and will never do it either uwuwuwuw" by a lot of people even when Robert is a ruthless criminal from the worst part of London in canon, and taking his actual heart of gold and twisting it into "absolute and immaculate purity UWU". Basically, he gets woobified a shit ton by a big chunk of the fandom, with certain aspects of his personality getting twisted waaaaay beyond recognition sometimes or just entirely made up or taken completely out of context for a variety of reasons. All of this is one of the main reasons why I've always put a lot of effort into showcasing all those sides of his that we were shown and/or told about in canon. Showing all his traits, yeah, but also making sure to always show his many MANY flaws and those dark and sour sides there are to his character (many of which he retains even in his older years, with some of those traits/flaws most likely being 'passed down' to Joseph, i.e), since people tend to forget that not only Speedwagon comes from literally the same shady place as Dio, having lived there for twice as long than Dio did, no less, but people also forget that he was also some ruthless gangleader who hard-earned the respect of dozens of other criminals and violent thugs and who are now under his command, ready to kill whenever he orders them to.

With all this said, in general, the most challenging part I think would probably be keeping some kind of balance in all that and not overdo or leave out one or the other since all parts are just as important to his character and to that personality that we were given in canon, and keeping all those hideously ooc fanon takes as far away as possible. All this while also doing research as much as necessary on Victorian stuff like terms, speech, customs, gay culture, and everything else that plays a role in Speedwagon's character (as a fun fact: no kidding, I legit knew NOTHING about the Victorian era when I first got into JJBA, so it's thanks to this dork that I started digging into that era and learning everything I now know about it xd).

As far as the side muses go, I think Tattoo and Li are more challenging right now in the sense that I don't write them as often, so I'm still trying to get a better hang of their personalities overall, their flaws and traits and so on. As for Jonathan, I've written him in the past a bunch of times for both rps and fics, but I haven't fleshed him out "a lot" rp wise yet, so I always worry about getting him right and close to his canon since, just like Speedwagon's case, Jonathan gets woobified a fuck ton by the fandom, too, for a variety of reasons.

Pretty sure I rambled a lot, but I hope all this stuff made sense ;;;; And thank you so much for sending this in, anon! I love this type of asks (and p much all types of asks, too xd), so please keep them coming any time~ Hope you're having a wonderful day!! ♡♡

[ursbearhug]

@quitmecoldturkey has tagged me to post 4 songs I got on repeat! I’m honoured and who am I to say no?

1. “Chance” by Hayley Kiyoko. I recently watched Hayley talking about the lyrics and the whole making of process and it made me appreciate the song more ever so slightly. Lately, I’m in very... Questionable mind space, but there is this part of me that really felt the “I was a no, never maybe”.

2. “Curious” by Hayley Kiyoko. I have soft spot for Lesbian Jesus and ‘Curious’ was my introduction to her music. I do not know what else to say, I just like it? Curious is also my top 5 favourite word in English.

3. “Help Me Now” by Kevin McHale. I found this one by freak accident somewhere during the first phases of the pandemic and I love it. I listen to it more often now purely because I am kind of broken hearted right now and there is nothing better for depression than a good singing session! The second verse [”Tell me what you're thinking, when you wanna spend some time by yourself tell me, do you miss me? And I don't need a pass 'cause I know I'm acting wrong, I hate myself when the thought comes up I know better but not enough, yeah”] is hitting especially hard and there is nothing better in a song than getting gut punched, amirite?

4. “Under the Knife” by Icon for Hire. My relationship with Icon for Hire is a weird one but I love their music. Purely because of meaningful lyricism with a little more life to it, than pop songs that are usually very... Bland when it comes to the actual music part.

In case it wasn’t obvious, I’m a huge lyrics nerd (ugh, my ancient greek is showing) and I can generally ignore music bits if I like lyrics enough. I’m also gonna use my not-actually-american right to not tag anyone because anxiety is a bitch. Also also, I’m an ugly 2000s goblin and I don’t know how to use Spotify, so against my will and better judgment, I will not neatly insert songs here - and I’m sorry.

[mooncademia]

Late Hours

PAIRING ~ Chisaki Kai/reader

GENRE ~ fluff 

SUMMARY ~ As the day comes to a close, you laid on your bed comfortably all snuggled up, but no! Not to go to sleep! Well...at least not yet. Your boyfriend promised to come home to your apartment after work but being past midnight, why hasn’t he returned yet? 

WORD COUNT ~ 1.0k

AUTHOR’S NOTE ~ Hello everyone, my first bnha story here! Who knew it would be about Chisaki? Am I the only one who thinks he makes a great villain (and uhm...quite the handsome man)? Well, here’s a little story I wrote for you overhaul lovers out there!! We all love his slick all-black attire, amirite? I hope you all enjoy this little story and I hope it makes you feel all the feels ;) Enjoy! 

You sat on your bed in your sleepwear: pink silky pajamas shorts paired with a matching tank top. Your legs were tucked comfortably under your thick blanket and your body was leaned against your bed board. Your yellow lamp beside you was on and as you flipped through your favorite book, you barely realized how late it was (2:09 a.m. to be exact). But hey! A good book always loses track of time, right?

Though…it wasn’t just your good book aiding you to stay up so during this time of day, it was also the fact that you were waiting for your boyfriend, Kai Chisaki, to come back to your apartment. He messaged you that he’ll see you tonight at your apartment but being past midnight, you wondered why it was taking so long for him to come home.

Your boyfriend doesn’t live with you but he often visits your apartment during weekends because it is the only environment where he truly feels safe. No blood to be shed, no men to command, and most of all, he is not viewed as “leader of an underground evil organization” but rather as your boyfriend. While you were aware of his business, never once has Chisaki commanded you so sternly as he does with his men. And knowing his role in society and in his business, Chisaki sometimes comes back to your apartment angry—disappointed at something that happened at work. Though, his anger is often hidden beneath a cold facade and you knew it too well. In arguments, he never shouts, which really, can be frustrating for you. His voice is eerily stable when he’s upset or mad and as you rubbed your fingers between your book’s pages, you wondered if something bad has happened to your boyfriend that is delaying him to come back to your apartment.

But your train of thought interrupts yet again when you hear keys rustling outside your room.

Chisaki opens a door to a dark living room but sees a glimpse of light beneath the crack of your bedroom. He knew you were awake but when he glanced at the clock in your kitchen, he felt a twist of guilt knowing how late it exactly was. He takes off his mask and jacket and tears off his gloves, setting them all down on your couch.

“Chisaki?” You said aloud as you closed your book immediately and sat up straighter.

Your door opened and you saw your boyfriend walked in with his gloveless hands and bare face. His black dress shirt was messier than usual and was sloppily tucked into his pants. His gray tie hanged slightly loose on his collar, tilting at an uneven angle. A few bloodstains here and there on the left side of his cheek and temples and although he didn’t seem too physically hurt, his eyes said otherwise.

“Hey…” you said softly, eyes concerned. “Is everything—oof!”

Before you were able to ask him, Chisaki walked forward and hugged you so hard you fell back on your bed. He buried his face against the crook of your neck, letting out a sigh of contentment as you wrapped your arms around him tightly. He smelled like a combination of bad cigarettes and raw blood but you couldn’t care less, you were just glad he was back. He began to kiss your neck while you move your hands to his hair, gripping it softly.

“Hey,” Chisaki said when he propped himself up next to you. His voice was soft and almost fragile. “Sorry I’ve kept you waiting so long, work today was…” His golden eyes glanced away from yours and you could see a dark shadow floating in his gaze.

You rubbed the back of his neck and gently cupped his right cheek with your hand so you can look at him directly. You nodded and gave him a comforting smile. You didn’t need him to explain because you understood.

“It’s okay,” you said understandingly. “No worries. I’m just glad you’re here.”

Your boyfriend hummed as he leaned down and gave you a quick kiss on the lips. Soft and tender, so different from what you see him do at work with his harsh cold commands. But just before he climbs off your bed, you grabbed his hand.

“Wait, I just want to-“ you stammered as you pulled him back and kissed him again, more passionately this time. You couldn’t help yourself, you just craved it! The touch of his lips against yours was something you could cherish and savor forever, and you missed him so much. Chisaki chuckled in between kisses as he positioned himself more comfortably on your bed. He snaked his hand to your waist and down your upper thighs and you squirmed at his gentle touch. His hands have shed blood countless times, but when he’s with you, he’s as soft as a feather. You didn’t know how long you kissed him for, but to the both of you, the moment could last forever.

You pulled away embarrassingly. Only you could have some power to get Chisaki to do what you want (sometimes of course), but every time, you always blush from your unnatural bold act. “Okay, uhm…you can go now.” You said as you poked his shoulder shyly and looked away. Your cheeks turning warmer.

Chisaki’s eyes glimmered as he watched how cute you get from your bold act. A smile formed on his lips. Despite having a bad day at work, seeing you now has slowly recovered him from it. He laughed quietly and gave you a kiss on your forehead for one last good measure.

“I’ll go wash up,” he said to you, his expression more relaxed and softened than before. You were glad that he is feeling better.

You looked up at him with a smile as you nodded. “Kay.”

And as Chisaki takes off his tie and shirt and headed out the door, you hug your chest tightly, hoping your heart won’t beat so fast from seeing him walking out there ever so handsomely.

A/N: If you actually read the fic, thank you so so much!! *gives you a GIGANTIC virtual hug*!! I guess you can say I’m relatively new to writing these kinds of stories but I have had so much fun planning and writing them and I want to say thank you from the bottom of my heart for your time to read this story. It truly means the world. I apologize if there are a few grammar errors, I promise to keep on practicing and get better! Please don’t hesitate to message me abt this story or bnha in general, I’ll be so happy to message back. I hope you have a wonderful day~ ♡ 

[northerngoshawk]

Welcome to My Blog

It’s been months too late to make this, but better late than never, amirite.

Anyways, hi, welcome to my blog! Hope you don’t regret coming on here too much haha.

About Me

You can find more about me in my About Me page, but the basic rundown is: hi, I’m your resident angst/character death Kataang writer since no one else wanted the job with a penchant for decorating my blog with the most decidedly un-ATLA stuff haha.

I also happen to be a minor (like... why am I here?), so just keep that in mind when interacting with me.

General Rules

Please read my Discourse Policy page on my Tumblr before trying anything. Apart from that, the standard rules apply:

No discrimination against anyone for anything, be it race, sexuality, religion, etc.

Treat everyone respectfully

No cyber-bullying of any kind

Also, this is a politics-free blog. I could not care less in what you believe in, but this is a safe blog meant for EVERYONE, even those you may disagree with. So try to keep anything political out of any discourse or discussions.

My Fics

You can check out the My Fics page on my blog to see what I have written so far (may need updated from time to time).

For all you fluff lovers, however, I have something a little more special. I created an entire fic masterpost with specific tiers listing how angsty my fics are, so that you won’t have much trouble navigating my fics and accidentally getting hit with character death. As an angst writer, consider it my gift to you :)

Anyways, that is all, hope you enjoy your stay! :)

[majicmarker]

so i’ve had a lot on my mind lately — the good, the bad, the ugly, you know the drill. i’m used to the bad and the ugly, but i think (and ofc by my therapist’s rec) i need to give a little credit to the good, too. not to mention the good is largely comprised of people, and those people deserve a sports stadium wave, yk? idk shit abt sports, whatever, but i know what the wave is and it’s like the grandest gesture i can think of, SO

listen, y’all. to get real here, i hate fandom. my time spent therein has been hit-or-miss, but the misses got me hard and contributed to some major self-loathing, etc etc. we’re not gonna get into the specifics, i don’t owe that to anyone, but suffice it to say things got Rough.

but so much of it can be so, so good. and rn i want to keep on my rose-colored glasses, and the rosiest parts for me have always been @kitten1618x and @mygutsforgarters

(quite a few others, too, but i no longer have everyone’s info. and some ppl are newer friends, or relationships that have moved more slowly. i have mad love for u guys too, obvs, but ik melissa and gus irl so we know each other More and they’re who this post is rly about atm. pls know i don’t want to harsh on anyone’s feelings)

the tl;dr version of events is i met them both via fanfic. i happened upon theirs like “bitch!!!! **i** wanna do this, they’re bomb as hell” and then i made them be friends w me. they’ll tell you they wanted to be friends w me first, but that’s not important bc **i** am the one making this post, so they can both like,, suck it.

ANYWAY.

@ melissa : so bitch listen. here’s the thing abt melissa…�� i found her while browsing jonsa fic back when i cared abt GOT, and she brought me back to what i loved so much abt romance when i first started, way back in junior high, what’s up. i bad a fascination w historial romantic epics for a loooooong time — those formative yrs, amirite ladies??? — but girl i could never write it so well as melissa. immediately she struck this balance between the drama you expect from historicals and the levity of a good romance, and i was just like, “hand to god this woman must be published already, surely???”

(she’s not, but that’s ridiculous so we’re gonna skip that)

(also she’s busy?? we’ve been friends for like six years and i will never know how many kids she actually has, but the point is she’s a goddamn superhero and i’m obsessed w her, MOVING ON)

i just Had to be her friend for two reasons: 1) she’s too talented, and b) i have said that abt 2 ppl my entire life and she was the first, so i was like, “AH YES MY HOLY GRAIL”

so ofc i slid into her DMs just as effectively as that one guy i had a crush on when i was sixteen and he’s still shooting me texts every valentine’s day bc of the societal pressures i guess (it is Far Less Effective these days, he’s my age and therefore too young for me, gross, but i digress), except me and melissa go way stronger.

she reminded me of why, half a lifetime ago, i started writing romance — bc it’s fun, bc i want to. bc i can do absolutely anything i want, bc who else is gonna read it but me and whoever i share it with? it was all up to me what i wanted to do with it, and i could do anything. nothing really mattered but what i wanted, and i hadn’t felt that way abt anything in such a long time — let alone abt something i used to love so much.

melissa’s writing is so beautiful, it’s everything i wanted to achieve when i was fifteen and never got around to perfecting. and i’m totally okay w that now, bc what do i need to do myself that she’s not already doing/wants to do in the future? when i found melissa’s writing i found a missing part of me — a part i’d maybe lost, maybe i gave it up, idk, but it was totally gone until i found her fics and they fucking clicked. i had to reach out bc there was a part of me that was a part of her, and she helped me find that again w/o even knowing it.

so i found melissa via GOT, and from the start she’d been trying to get me to write some bethyl. years and years, she dropped not-so-subtle hints — and by “hints,” i mean legit directives that i watch just enough TWD to write her some beth/daryl fic. real crafty, she is.

eventually the stars aligned: i was bored w the same dynamics i’d been writing for years, i wanted smthn new, i was restless, i was line editing a bethyl fic she’d written, and — again — this shit clicked. her fic made me want to explore this dynamic i’d never done before, so i watched the prerequisite episodes (no more than that tho, i super hate the show and i’m begging y’all to not @ me abt it anymore). i found smthn that i’d been missing, smthn that challenged and excited me and brought me back around to why i love romance and, more importantly, why i want to write it myself.

so as i was starting to write bethyl, i was poking around the ao3 tag to get a feel for what had been done, what hadn’t, anything i might be missing. and goddamn BAM —

@ gus : this is where u enter dramatically thru a red velvet curtain that i don’t wanna touch (Metaphorically bc you do romance better than me and i’m cool w that bc your talent simply Cannot be touched, and Literally bc i hate velvet) — i was like, “please for the love of god let her want to write contemporary romance, i need some good fckin food”

i happened upon “doo wah diddy diddy” first. ofc the summary hooked me, forget my usual hard no against pregnancy fics (i have issues w pregnancy and that’s all anybody Needs to know, back off), but This Bitch !!!!!!! has a way with words and i wanted to be friends w her straightaway. lmao too bad for her, now she’s stuck w me

gus’s fics gave me what i wanted without having to write it myself. her style is so distinctive, she hits the notes between porn and Actual Affection that is missing from uhhhh, every romance i’ve tried?? (why is everyone so intent on the sex part?? fckin chill. at best it’s unrelatable and at worst u sound like u’d rather wear someone than fuck them, check urself)

she writes w such care, she wants you to know what she’s doing here, and what she’s doing here is combining the physical and emotional needs of both characters w/o infringing on anyone’s comfortability. you root for these characters bc they simply want to be together, no strings (and if there are strings, damn, they talk abt it).

gus makes you believe in love in the modern age. like, not to sound like one of those ppl who post fckin “no one in this generation knows how to love!!!1!!11!!” memes on facebook, those are dumb, but gus’s writing made me think “yeah man, love ain’t dead, it’s just abt how we approach it.”

(if y’all haven’t guessed yet, i have some hang-ups abt relationships. i’ve goddamn earned those. but melissa and gus both brought me back to where i needed to be — in this place where, yeah, we’ve got some shit to deal with, but we all still deserve the things we want, and those things are achievable. i could not have gotten here without them, so jot that down.)

gus is Real, she’s funny, she’s unapologetic in the way she writes. ofc she has her personal hurdles, but who doesn’t?? and tbh nobody writes a sex scene like gus does. physical, realistic, but balanced w the emotional depth that makes you root for these characters bc you can Feel how much they want each other — not just sexually, but in the less-erotic aftermath of that passion. it continues to blow my mind, bc i’ve never seen anyone do what she does. i can’t even pinpoint the specifics, bc she just… Does It. and you’re reading it like “yeah bitch that’s it,” and That’s It.

it’s fckin wild.

these two — my best friends, the lights of my life, both of whom always make me crave chicken tenders at THE most inconvenient hours bc somehow we always talk abt chicken or ice cream or ultimately DQ, but they're both so hot idec — have something special.

i really, really want them both to know that: it’s not just in how they’ve treated me as a friend, but who they are as people, in their creative pursuits. i’ve never known support the way they’ve shown me; i’ve never known this much enthusiasm or investment or belief that i can do what i want with my talent. i want them to know that i feel the same way abt them and their works.

sometimes, when i look back at their writing that completely kicked my ass, i still can’t believe that they’ve become two of my best friends. it’s totally bonkers. they’re This Talented, and they wanna be friends w my spastic ass? GIRL. i’m out.

i’m not always the best at being present, at giving people what they need when they need it. but with everything that melissa and gus have given me in the past few years, i need them to know this — honey!!! i need all y’all to know this, bc i know fandom shit is hard, but you should know some of these friendships are so, so worth all that bullshit, so —

they have so much to give, so much to say, so much to offer. i could not have kept going without them. i couldn’t believe in myself without the faith they’ve given to me. i hope that i can always give that same faith right back.

and that, babes, is what real soulmates are all about.

[365days365movies]

January 14, 2021: GoldenEye (1995) (Part 1)

He’s suave. He’s sophisticated. He’s spy. He’s...

The late, great Sean Connery. 

Ignoring the less then savory aspects of his personality (AKA the Barbara Walters interview...both of them), Connery is undoubtedly the most famous Scottish actor of all time. Sorry, Whovians, I love David Tennant, too. But Connery’s got him beat. He’s been in so many iconic films and roles, his influence is undeniable. But most famous of all is his turn as Agent 007, the man himself, James Bond.

I’ve seen all of Connery’s original Bond films (not counting Never Say Never Again), and my favorite is Goldfinger, in case you were wondering. But outside of that...I haven’t seen any Bond movies. Since him, the character’s been played by David Niven, George Lazenby (now THAT’S an interesting story, lemme tell you), Roger Moore, Timothy Dalton, and the two I’ll be looking at this month: Pierce Brosnan and Daniel Craig.

I’ll be looking at Brosnan tomorrow, in Casino Royale. But today, I’m looking at arguably the third most-famous Bond, Pierce Brosnan, in one of the most famous modern Bond movies, GoldenEye.

Also, yeah, never played the game I KNOW IT WAS A ‘90S CLASSIC I WASN’T ALLOWED TO HAVE VIDEO GAMES. 

So, what to expect from a Bond film? Well, I’ve got a checklist here, hold on...HERE we go:

Gadgets

Girls

Good-for-Nothings

...Good music?

I’m feeling a little alliterative of late. But, yeah, looking for the Bond Girl, looking for cool gadgets, looking for dastardly villains, and listening for the theme song for the film. Got my list set, and expectations are set to Connery levels. Let’s do this, shall we?

Recap

We start at a dam in Russia. Bond James Bond (Pierce Brosnan) is infiltrating the dam, and we get our gadgets checked off right away, as he whips out an acetylene torch. He barges in on a guy in the bathroom (rude, and awkward), then meets up with Alec, AKA Agent 006 (Sean “he dies, he’s the villain, or he’s the villain who dies” Bean).

Yeah, calling it now, Alec here’s gonna die, or he’s the villain, or he’s the villain who’s gonna die. It’s Sean Bean. More importantly, it’s Sean Bean in the ‘90s. There are very few options for him. Anyway, the Russians try to stop them from blowing up the plant, and...well, Alec’s being held hostage. Yyyyyyup. And he gets shot?

I don’t know how...but I’m betting that he’s still the villain. He’s Sean Bean. C’mon. He doesn’t die this early in a movie.

The unambiguously evil Russian general (hey, the Cold War just ended) almost get Bond, but he escapes in typical Bond fashion. They chase after him, and Bond chases an airplane. How, do you ask? I WILL FUCKING SHOW YOU HOW.

WHAT??? WHAT??? Physics just broke, and Issac Newton just tunneled to China. And then the facility blows up.

And THEN the opening begins. Let’s hear the Bond song and check out the opening.

...WOW. Just...I mean...OK, so Bond songs. From the first Bond movie, Dr. No, up until the one before this one, Licence to Kill, the intros were designed and directed by Maurice Binder. They were all composed of silhouetted women, often against colorful backgrounds, and almost always nude or skimpily dressed. There would often be themes or objects seen in the film itself, and sometimes actual scenes, often projected onto women themselves. They all definitely had a similar feel and style. And then, Binder sadly passed away in 1991.

Enter Daniel Kleinman. This is Kleinman’s first take, and this is also the first movie to use CGI. While it’s not terribly obvious or gaudy in the film proper, Kleinman uses this new technology to make this intro SURREAL AS HELL. It expresses the film’s connection to the fall of Soviet Russia, and a post-Cold War society. And is does that in a pretty obvious, if abstract and dramatic, manner. And honestly, on retospect...yeah. It definitely works. Even the song, which is sung by Tina Turner and written by Bono (yes, really), works well by itself, and in my opinion, better when with the actual film. So, crazy and weird as this sequence it...kinda grew on me. I like it! Weird, but I like it a lot.

We cut to nine years later, with Bond taking a woman on a drive/race on a cliffside highway with...well, there’s our Bond girl! This is Famke Jannsen, playing...Xenia Onatopp.

Yes. Really. Oh boy. We aren’t being even slightly subtle about this, huh.

The woman in the car demands him to stop, and they make out, as one would expect. That night, he heads to a party, as James Bond does. At the party, James enters a card game with Xenia. Again...as James Bond does. This is immediately followed by him hitting on Xenia, ordering a vodka martini (shaken not stirred), introducing himself as “Bond, James Bond,” commenting on the Bond Girl’s name, and saying suave shit. 

HOLY SHIT THAT SENTENCE ALONE HAPPENED WITHIN 1 MINUTE OF SCREEN TIME

Look, movie, when you got a Bond...you gotta space that shit out. Ration it a little bit, not front load all of it WITHIN FIVE MINUTES AFTER THE OPENING’S FINISHED. It’s like giving someone a beer, and then they EAT THE FRIDGE.

Jesus. OK, Miss Moneypenny (Samantha...Bond, that’s neat!) gives Bond some information, tells him not to have sex with Xenia until they tell him to (yes, really), and then say’s that she trusts he’ll say…”On-a-Topp of things.”

YES. REALLY.

Speaking of Xenia, she’s with an Admiral, having the most TERRIFYING sex I’ve ever seen in a movie. And I’m legit not sure if he survived after it. Like, real talk, it was...frightening. Somebody steals his ID, real nonchalant like, and we cut to the next morning, after his maybe-death? James makes it onto the yacht the next morning (they were on a yacht, by the way), planning on getting some information.

Meanwhile, the ID is used by...someone...to get into a leader of global military leaders. Pretty sure the Admiral got Kegel’d to death; not even joking, it’s a real possibility, and I am shaken AND stirred. And so was the Admiral.

See? Toldja.

Looks like their unveiling a new tactical helicopter, the Tiger. However, the pilots are shot by Xenia and someone else, and they take their place, stealing the helicopter. Bond tries to stop it...even though there’s literally no way he could’ve known they were going to steal the helicopter? I mean, I guess you could assume that, but...I dunno, it’s a stretch.

Meanwhile, in Siberia, a group of radar analysts or some such, where we meet Boris (Alan Cumming, who I feel like I never see play an actual Welsh person...or in a good movie) and Natalya (Izabella Scorupco). Boris is a thirsty computer nerd who hacks the US government for fun (because ‘90s nerds in movies were basically only this), and Natalya puts up with him.

The Tiger helicopter arrives, carrying Xenia and the General (Gottfried John, by the way) from the dam 9 years ago. They show up here, seeking something. Xenia shoots up the place, killing everybody except Natalya (and maybe Boris, since we didn’t see him die). Xenia, by the way, appears to be a straight sadist, enjoying inflicting pain on unsuspecting victims. The two leave, getting what they came for.

London! James Bond returns to MI6 headquarters, and meets his secretary Miss Moneypenny, who calls him the fuck OUT. She is my favorite character now.

MI6 has intercepted a distress call from the station in Siberia, and found the helicopter. The mission is heard by both Bond and M (Dame Judi Dench herself, pre-Cats). Meanwhile, the base in Siberia is hit an electromagnetic pulse originating from an orbiting satellite, which causes EVERYTHING to explode. Pretty sure that’s not what EMPs do, but why not? Suspension of disbelief. 

Natalya’s still alive in there, by the way. And she’s not having a great day. You know those work days, right? Your coworkers are all dead, your equipment and office space explode, you’re trapped in a burning building, two American jets get hit by an EMP and crash into the building. Mondays, amirite?

And in case literally everything didn’t make it clear by now, this is a Cold War movie, taking place after the Cold War was concluded. See, the McGuffin for this film (it’s a Bond film, it’s kind of a requirement) is Project GoldenEye, a nuclear weapon meant to detonate in the upper atmosphere, creating an EMP. The weapon was developed during the Cold War, and has now been stolen by the Janus Crime Syndicate, whose heads include Xenia Onatopp. General Ourmunov is also suspected to be a part of it.

This information all comes out during an exposition speech, as is standard for a Bond movie. But after that speech...OH...OH, it’s so good. See, up until now, Miss Moneypenny was really the only major female recurring supporting character in Bond’s life. But we’ve flipped the script, having M played by Dame Judi Dench. And lemme tell ya...what follows is Dench REAMING BOND THE FUCK OUT. And it’s glorious.

Mind changed, M is now my favorite character. She tells him what’s what, then gives him his mission: get GoldenEye back.

We finally get our big gadgets showcase, as we see...Q (Desmond Llewelyn)! First introduced in From Russia With Love in 1963, Q is the MI6’s spy gadget man, and has been played by Llewelyn since then! He’s the only remaining cast member from the original Connery films, and it’s awesome to see him here! He’s been in more James Bond movies than anyone else, at 17. Sadly, he died in 1999, but it’s still cool to see him! We get cool gadgets, of course, including a pen grenade, a car with missiles behind the headlights, a leather belt with a grapple, a LOT of shit in the background, and a missile hidden in a leg cast and wheelchair. This is such a funny sequence, and absolutely the best scene in the movie so far, holy shit. More of THAT, please.

Meanwhile, in St. Petersburg, the General finds out that Natalya is alive, as well as Boris being missing. Calling it now, he’s been taken by Janus, or he’s working with them. Bond arrives and meets up with CIA Agent Jack Wade (Joe Don Baker), whom I also really like. He’s had enough of Bond’s spy bullshit, and he cuts to the point. He also identifies himself by showing a rose tattoo with the name of his ex-wife, Muffy. Yes, really.

Bond meets up with a Russian gangster whom he has a...pre-existing relationship with. Apparently, he shot him in the knee, then slept with his wife. You stay classy, Jimmy. You stay classy. This man is Valentin Zukovsky (Robbie Coltrane), an ex-KGB agent and current gang leader. He tells him that the head of Janus is descended from Cossacks, a group of Russians that worked for the Nazis in World War II.

Natalya finds a way to contact Boris over the internet, who tells her to trust no one, and sets up a meeting with her at a church. This is, of course, a trap, as Boris is working with Janus. Xenia, for her part as a Bond Girl, does her duty and finds James to have sex with. Xenia, it should be noted, is ABSOLUTELY THE FREAKIEST of the Bond Girls. Like, Goddamn is she kinky, you have no idea. Like...is this sex or a fight scene? The film genuinely can’t decide.

Bond forces Xenia to take him to the head of Janus, who’s in a Soviet statuary of some kind. And who’s waiting there but…

Yup. Called it.

See you (and Sean “died, but didn’t die, and is a villain, but is still gonna die” Bean) in Part 2!

[feelsundefeated]

hi my name is poe ( they/them. 23. est ) ! and i’m very excited to be here <3 i can’t wait to write with all of you :3 this is my goblin eli and while i woke up late and don’t have a background written up or anything you can find an info dump ( plus some wanted connections ) under the cut which will hopefully give you some insight ! like this if you’d like to plot ! it’s easier to get a hold of me on d*scord : kangaroo court#6392 but ims are fine too ! :D

✼:♡*ﾟ✿ ↝  jeon jungkook . demi boy . he/they .  ／  elijah “ eli ” kang is blasting are you bored yet? by wallows again … ugh , i swear they play that song every single day ! you’d think they’d learn how to pipe down . oh , you don’t know them ? they live in apartment 4b . i haven’t talked to them much , but i know that they’re twenty three years old , and that they’ve been living in the complex for three years . i always run into them when they’re coming back home from vinny’s vinyls , and they seem really gregarious and flighty . maybe you’ll have better luck with the aries than i do .

muse info :

he’s a typical american so getting used to canadian culture is still a thing for him. he can do a pretty good accent though ( in his opinion which means it actually sucks ).

he works at vinny’s vinyls and is obsessed with music. his favorite band is wallows but he has a soft spot for all those 2000s pop punk and emo bands. if he recommends fall out boy to you at the register just go with it and act like you’ve never heard of them.

his walls are covered in various records he’s collected some albums he really loves and some he just likes the look of ( ugh posers amirite ? ).

he really loves dogs and most animals in general. if you go through his tiktok fyp it’s filled with farmers and people who take care of animals most people wouldn’t have as a pet.

he’s known pretty much all his life that he’s nonbinary like the idea of being masculine never appealed to him so he just kinda vibes with it. if you ask him he’ll say gender is a myth and he’s never understood it. he’s obsessed with being a he/they like as soon as he found out what a demi boy was he just knew it fit.

also he’s bisexual so he’s just in love and wanting to sleep with everyone KFJDSHJFSD

due to his aries nature he tends to get crushes easily then stupidly admits to them but gets over them in two weeks and ghosts them :/

he’s really bad at committing like really really bad. he’s never had a relationship last longer than three months and he tends to leave people bitter about it because he doesn’t break up with them he just disappears. if your muse hates aries then he might be why.

he loved the idea of living alone because at home he’s the youngest of five siblings and being stuck in a house ( shared bedrooms forever since as the youngest he got the short end of the stick ) with them made him crave alone time. but now he gets lonely a lot and regrets not having a roommate. so whoever he’s friends with he comes in and crashes on their couch a lot for no reason other than he wants to. so you might have to kick this bum out personally

that being said he loves his family a lot and facetimes with his parents and the siblings he can get a hold of at least once a week. they drive him nuts though but in like the best way possible.

he tends to stay up way too late and for some reason that’s when the act up urges hit so if you hear somebody else blaring at 3 am he’s fine i promise ( maybe ).

he never drinks water and suffers from constant headaches but refuses to drink it. his fridge is filled with various flavors of monster blue powerade and mountain dew. he hates the taste of coffee and alcohol ( he still drinks the latter though ).

he really likes video games so if he randomly invites your muse over to play mario kart on the switch it’s either to brag or he’s just trying to hit on you. he’s a shyguy main btw.

talk to him about video games and he’ll get lost in the convo for hours. he loves open world games the best i.e. skyrim breath of the wild red dead redemption 2. but he also likes rpgs and nintendo games.

he runs cold most of the time so he always has a hoody on.

he loves anime so talk to him about anime ( especially my hero academia ) and he has figurines of his favorite character bakugo.

he has a lot of badly done tattoos on his hand and arm just because he gets bored then goes and gets something done.

he wears five earrings in each ear and used to have them gauged but they grew back and he’s too lazy to get them done again. he also has his hair done in an undercut currently and he loves putting it up in ponytails or buns.

if you make him a playlist he’ll fall in love with you immediately.

he’s really good at binging tv shows. he rewatched hannibal in three days and gets done with most new netflix series in a day.

he’s allergic to peanut butter but sometimes he eats uncrustables to see if he’s gotten over thinking he can just build up an immunity to it.

wanted connections:

exes ( any gender. i’m really wanting multiple plots of like people that eli’s strung along and left in the dust. )

hookups / fwbs ( any gender. singular experiences or regular type things )

i haven’t decided where he’s from so hmu for childhood plots. i’m a sucker for childhood besties, first kisses and crushes.

be his infatuation of the week ( this can be multiple plots but i want eli confessing his feelings then getting over them and ghosting leaving your muse confused. i want the awkward run ins and confrontations ! )

you come into vinny’s vinyls and ask him for recs but he just goes on about how good mcr is.

you nag him to please drink some water because he’s clearly dying of dehydration.

come play mario kart with him. he’ll say he’s gonna win but more than likely he’ll lose.

you check up on him because he’s listening to fleetwood mac’s rumours at 4 in the morning and you’re wondering if he’s ok and also you just wanna sleep.

tinder date ( it can go well or not )

he’s eaten peanut butter again and you’re the one who has to drag his stupid ass to the hospital.

you’re the friend whose couch he crashes on constantly. maybe one night you’re trying to bring someone home and he won’t leave and you’re trying to nicely make him get the hint but he refuses so you have to be mean about it.

literally anything you can think of i’m probably down for it !

[knowledgequeenabc]

Day 1: Past (Harumi)

@ninjago-angst-week (Look at that! I'm attempting angst week! I'm a day late from the get-go, which is promising lmfao but. here goes nothing amirite this is so long too :'D oops) -

The ash settled around the broken fragments of her life. A ripped photo fluttered delicately through the air and landed in the curious grasp of a paramedic.

She didn’t notice. The faint breath of air it tickled her face with couldn’t pull her mind away from the violent shaking of the floor, the walls, the debris crashing down in jagged chunks. Shrieks piercing the air over the sickening crunch of the building giving out echoed in her ears, to haunt her dreams for years afterward. Her eyes were watering.

“Where are your parents, child?” The hazy figure dabbed softly at the bloody cut on her face, caused by a chunk of the elevator ceiling slashing at her cheek. She didn’t flinch; what was a little more stinging when she had been crushed like her dolls under the rubble? 

Her parents … something in her chest burned. Her parents were … looking away, eyes brimming with pain, pushing her into the elevator as she screamed and reached out. She wanted her papa, she wanted her mama— 

Her parents were in the apartment, and the apartment was gone, so …  

Her parents weren’t here anymore. 

“Do you have a name?” 

Harumi, her name was Harumi. But Harumi was the happy child in the not-destroyed apartment playing with her ninja dolls as her mama and papa laughed and cooked dinner together. All those things were missing, though, because the ninja didn’t save her from the giant snake that destroyed her home and mama and papa weren’t here, so if she wasn’t that child then she was … 

“Well. Aren’t you the quiet one?” 

It was so loud in her head. The people in the elevator were still screaming and the building was still falling, and her parents were still promising her they’d see her when they got down. 

She learned two things that day. One, the ninja weren’t heroes, like she thought, and actual heroes, like Garmadon, were the ones doing all the saving. Two, she would never be happy sweet Harumi ever again. She was nothing but quiet.

———————————

They put her in the orphanage. No one wanted her, the unfriendly, strange-looking, dead-eyed waif that didn’t speak and cried herself to sleep. 

It suited her fine, because she only wanted one thing. And she was never getting it back, because they were in the past, when she could be happy, and this was now. 

The Emperor and Empress—Harumi hadn’t known Ninjago still had those—visited one day. The head of the orphanage whispered excitedly, see how generous and charitable they were, to bless such a common place with their presence! She didn’t understand the fuss, or why the other children were excited, too, but she weakly swallowed the last bite of a meal she’d once loved and cleaned up anyway, as she had been told to. 

A man and a woman, clad subtly in resplendent jade robes, entered through the door, imposing and tall. Their hands were clasped behind their backs, hair swept neatly back, smiles wide and perfect and plastic. She didn’t like them, Harumi decided, watching their poised strides. They looked stiff, like her now-buried dolls, like they didn’t laugh when no one was around. 

Of course, as luck would have it, they saw the mousy girl with pearly skin that sunburned easy, and ruby eyes, and pale hair, standing in the corner and peering out unhappily, and decided she was perfect. 

“And who is this little one?” mused Ninjago’s emperor, coming to a stop in front of her. 

“T-That’s just Harumi,” the manager said hastily. “She’s been here ever since the Devourer killed her parents, she’s really not very easy—”

“Oh, poor dear,” cooed the Empress, bending close. Harumi leaned away, her nose smarting from the jasmine scent that clung to the royal.

“We’ve wanted a child for so long,” continued the woman. “No matter our efforts, we could never conceive. And what better way to ensure an heir than to take in a child in need of a home?” “It’s perfect,” agreed the Emperor. “For generations our family hid from those who wished the royal family harm, but we must be good-hearted where we can. Such a pity, that the citizens were subject to such devastation. Perhaps we can give one such victim a home fit for a queen?” 

“And such a unique-looking girl,” the Empress said, eyeing her snowy pale hair, voice dripping molasses. “It would be dreadful if you were to be overlooked because of it. We’ll take you home, how does that sound?” 

She smiled with tight lips. Harumi felt something unfamiliar bubble up within her, stronger than her usual jealousy of the other kids who could still smile; it felt like she wanted their pretty green robes to burn until they were all ashes. 

“My,” marveled the orphanage manager again. “The depth of your goodwill knows no bounds! Thank you so much for your visit today, your Majesties. Of course you may take her as your heir. Harumi has been … uncooperative, here, but perhaps she will thrive in a palace!” 

He couldn’t wait to get rid of her, could he. 

Fine, she’d go. She hated it here. The other kids were all dumb, they were too loud and never left her alone and made fun of her for being so quiet and they liked the ninja.

———————————

The senior servant woman cried out when she first saw the girl the royal family had brought back to the palace. In retrospect, it was her Harumi had to thank, truly. 

“Your Majesty,” she stammered, “Don’t take this the wrong way, but don’t you think her appearance is … unbecoming, for a princess?” “Nonsense.” The Empress tutted, grasping Harumi by the wrist. “No one else would have taken her in, but she’s perfect for us. Her hair won’t even need any powder, and her pale skin won’t matter under the face paint.” “But her eyes …” The servant woman dusted off a couple more of the royal library’s shelves, and coughed in the cloud of dirt before speaking again. Her next words, spoken boldly in the presence of one so quiet she lacked a presence, seared into Harumi’s mind. 

“They burn like an Oni’s.”

———————————

She was coerced into speaking again through the months, mostly because glowering at those who spoke to you didn’t go over well with the Emperor and Empress. Long in the past though it rested, the memory of crumbling buildings and terrified screams and the sad acceptance on her parents’ face as they pushed her to safety haunted her through the nights. It left a knot in her stomach and chest, one that never loosened but pulled itself tighter with each passing day. As time went on, it burned, angrier, blacker, bubbled into something so poisonous that she delighted in how illicit it felt to entertain the feeling at all. 

So everyone else in the world got to be happy. Everyone else got to live with their parents, grow and dream and laugh, and praise be to the ninja for making it all possible, right? Even the residents of the palace sang their praises whenever the children playing dress-up managed to swing their weapons hard enough to take anything out. Forget that they hadn’t saved her. Forget that Garmadon was the one who had killed the Great Devourer. 

… It was a pipe dream, but when she was alone, she wondered what her life would have been if Garmadon had taken her in instead. 

Everyone else in the world got to live their idyllic lives, but her place was here, in the palace, to speak when spoken to and learn her royal duties and put respect on the royal family’s name. Be dignified, Harumi. Carry yourself like royalty, Harumi. Stop skipping your lessons, Harumi. We’re punishing you because we love you, Harumi. We saved you, so you need to respect us, Harumi. Harumi, Harumi, Harumi. 

Her name felt like bile, from their lips. She wanted to scream at them, sometimes, that she hated their dumb rules and pretty palaces and heavy robes and caky face paint. 

She didn’t scream, though. All the complaints, all the back-handed insults about her character, all the disappointed stares, all of the rigid rule-following that crept under her skin until she wanted to shred herself and her room to pieces could be tolerated. At least there was Hutchins, master-at-arms, stern, reserved, but soft with her in a way the royals weren’t. At least he spoke to her outside of royal duty, outside of education, outside of being a princess. He showed her passageways and ways around the palace no one else knew, when she needed to get away from it all. He even sang to her, a lullaby about spiders that had sent her into tears before it grew on her.

The first time he reminded her to brush her teeth, she stood in front of the mirror with her eyes prickling. When he gave her a journal and told her to write how she felt, she stared blankly at him before giving him a tentative, but true, smile. If no one else cared about her, at least he did. 

———————————

It seemed that no matter how much Harumi wanted to believe that her life couldn’t get more cruel, it proved her wrong. 

Garmadon had been cleansed of evil. The Overlord was defeated. 

And this man, silver-haired, wrinkled, lacking all of the Lord’s power, had bowed before the Emperor for forgiveness. Her blood had roared hot in her ears, fury making her see red. How could he be so weak, after what he had done for her? For Ninjago? Get up, she wanted to scream at him, stop groveling! But of course, he didn’t. 

And that was that. 

Her fawning over Garmadon was a thing of the past. 

———————————

The ninja had saved the world, perhaps, but it had been far too near a thing. Look at them, with their smug grins, she would think, as they grinned at cameras and rejoiced in their victory. They hadn’t earned an ounce of that admiration. 

One caught her eye more than the others, though. They were all despicable, but the one in green (it was always green, wasn’t it. Green scales, green robes, green gi) with tousled blond hair and a child’s smile, the youngest of them, his clothes bleached golden with his power, stood at the fore of their little ragtag group.

This was the green ninja? The golden savior of Ninjago? Garmadon’s son? 

He had done this. He had washed away Garmadon’s power, made him weak, made him cowardly, made him kneel before the emperor in front of her. He got to stand up on his little pedestal, playing the hero, giggling and smiling like it was no challenge at all, unaware of the pain and the bodies trailing his every step. And they all ate it up. 

It made her sick.

She caught a broadcast on TV, one day. 

“And here we have everyone’s favorite, the Golden Ninja himself! Here to answer some questions is Lloyd Garmadon!”  

Lloyd. 

Harumi turned the name in her mind. She would remember it. 

———————————

And then the man of her idolization, then her contempt, was gone, in the clutches of the Cursed Realm as it drowned. 

Mostly, she felt crushingly empty. By now, Harumi had learned the ins-and-outs of her schedule, well enough to sneak around and out of the palace without being missed (as though anyone missed her anyway). She did it frequently nowadays, and she’d almost gotten caught a couple times. It should have concerned her far more, but the mask was on well enough that her captors never suspected she was getting up to trouble. After all, Harumi was so well-behaved and soft-spoken! Why would she ever do such a thing?

Hah.

Her history lessons had always been a dreadful thing, the tutor dry and stand-offish, but admittedly there was much of interest—especially the parts where Garmadon was involved. Wars with snakes, great elementals, betrayal and light and darkness … such a complex history. 

She wasn’t considering any of it on the day she snuck out before lessons started, to … think, maybe. Catch a breath. Avoid the stern eyes of the Emperor and Empress, and all those under their employ. Harumi had merely been wandering around, taking in the disgustingly ornate surroundings, before her eyes fell on the innocuous display case. 

Wait. 

She was near her room again, wasn’t she? This case was off-limits for her, and she’d learned that with a harsh yank on her wrist and a stern scolding as a child. As she grew older, she’d lost interest … until now. Plus, away on another publicity stunt, to be the good little figureheads they thought they were, Their Majesties weren’t here to shoo her away. 

The case housed an ugly orange mask, streaked through with grotesque patterns painted onto a snarling face. Its name eluded her for a moment until she remembered.

“Her eyes. They burn like an Oni’s.”

An Oni Mask. 

It almost felt to be whispering to her, calling her closer, and with a start Harumi realized the voice felt vaguely familiar. But it couldn’t be, unless—  

Well. This was the Palace of Secrets, after all. It seemed she had a secret to adopt. 

A familiar passion relit itself under her belly. 

Harumi was advanced enough in her studies now to learn the things most did not in their normal education, and the tales of Dragon and Oni certainly fell under her curriculum. Making it to the room where her lessons were normally held with minutes to spare, she walked in, shoulders squared, and sat herself down with a decisive thump. 

Her tutor, noticing the change in her attitude, eyed her warily.

Harumi did nothing but smile, and it felt like she was finally baring her fangs. After so long, she had something to think about. The past would inform her new reality, because she would drag it kicking and screaming into the present.

“I’d like to learn about the Oni today.” 

———————————

Hutchins, bless his heart, was as helpful as ever, although as the years went on his prodding had become less sweet and more of a nuisance. It didn’t matter, though. He was still useful for getting what she wanted, so long as she smiled sweetly enough. Under the guise of helping her study for history exams, he took her to the most comprehensive libraries in Ninjago, and she read like never before. With her Oni-red eyes, she read until her eyes stung from being open so long, and she learned amazing things, piecing them together with her lessons. The tumultuous history of Oni and Dragon! The lineage of the First Spinjitzu Master! The Oni masks infused with their dark magic! The ability to resurrect dead Oni! 

A beautiful, outlandish, fantastic idea sprouted in her mind and refused to uproot itself. 

Perhaps she had been too premature in giving up her faith. 

Perhaps Garmadon wasn’t weak so much as he needed a push, should she call it, in the right direction. 

Maybe she could provide that push. Bring back the powerful, fearless Garmadon of the past.

She set to work frenetically. The mask of obedience, grace, mildness, was pulled on tighter than ever. The Palace of Secrets was about to have a few more secrets between its walls, and no one could suspect a thing. To recruit her army was thankless work, but the odd trio were trustworthy, she knew. They were different. Wrong. 

Like her. 

From there, the numbers only grew. With the ninja split up to search for their pathetic master, there was nothing to stop the Sons of Garmadon from proliferating into something grand. They were lowlifes, but it hardly mattered. She would stoop as low as she needed proudly, if it got her what she wanted. And want it she did, after a whole life of having the things she wanted snatched away by fate. The freedom of acting as she pleased, biking in the grungier streets with the wind whipping against her face, surrounded by people who didn’t care if she was royalty, was a heady drink. She embraced it wholeheartedly as she zeroed in on her goal.

The undertaking didn’t truly click together for her, though, until one night spent plotting a break-in to Borg Tower with the generals. Whacky, unhinged Ultra Violet leaned against a wall, twirling a sai, and fixed her with a hard eye. 

“You got a name?”

Harumi paused. 

“Do you have a name?” 

“I already addressed this question,” Harumi said evenly, from her seat over the map of Borg Tower. “You don’t need my name.”

“Well, give us somethin’,” UV snorted. The lady idly tossed her sai up in the air and snatched it up as it fell. “Or else I’m just gonna have to keep callin’ ya Girlie.”

Harumi stopped short of brushing Ultra Violet’s question off again. Killow was looking at her too, and she could tell he’d pick it up if she didn’t answer.

And they had a point. She was their leader. They needed a title for her, something to rally behind, something that wouldn’t reveal her cards or who she was. 

It was one specific moment in her past that had landed her here, one she remembered now, more freshly than she had in years as she pondered. She swallowed the taste of ash, letting her heart turn over all the emotions she had felt that day like taking a rake to coals. 

“In that case, call me …”

“Well. Aren’t you …”

“The Quiet One.”    

[imastrangeone98]

A Gentle Touch

(A/N: behold! my first one shot! :D there may be more, there may be less. this is my first time writing for the mandalorian (Star Wars in general) and I haven’t thought about a full fledged story... yet. also I'm still working on my dmc story that no one reads sob and my bnha storyline is coming together. after I publish chapter 12 for lost and found Ill get to work on the first chapter)

(ps this is also my first time writing smut. I was dared to by a friend. this is for you [you know who you are ;)]

WARNING: (probably) unrealistic sex. also (definitely) unsafe sex. (I never had sex before, but you should probably use a condom- that’s important. safe, sane and consensual amirite?) and highly unrealistic description of spaceships and lack of Star Wars knowledge

and the oc I created (I got it off a Star Wars name generator XD) is kyla baize. maybe I’ll make a thing for her after I come up with a story to use her in. and for the purpose of this story, I’ll assume that mando’s age is around his late 30s- he and kyla met around their late teens. and this probably takes place post-ep8

Din Djarin knew very well of the life he would live the second he swore The Creed. It would be one of solitude, and silence, and the cold beskar that covered him head to toe. In all honesty, he was comfortable with it...

...For the most part.

But as he sat in his seat at the cockpit, watching his medic fuss over the Child with a sweet smile on her face, he couldn’t help but wonder if The Creed was truly worth upholding.

“There, there, little one,” Kyla cooed, her smile growing wider when the Child stretched his arms towards her. “You seem sleepy. It must be time for bed!”

The Child whined slightly, but made no further protest when she scooped him up and cuddled him into her arms. She glanced towards Din, giving him a light smile. “I’ll put him to bed and set the coordinates. How about you go down and get some sleep?”

He hummed in response, simply enjoying the sight in front of him. Twenty years they had worked together, yet she never failed to take his breath away. “I’ll set the coordinates. You get some sleep; you more than earned it.”

“So do you,” she retorted, rubbing the Child’s back. “You know what- hold that thought; I’ll be back.” She turned around and descended the ladder, clearly preparing to put the baby to bed.

For a brief moment, he saw it- a swollen belly, a slight waddle, a tiny infant’s face- a perfect combination of her and him. A boy or a girl? What kind of person would they become? A warrior like him? Or a healer like their mother?

And then he remembered- The Creed. He was a Mandalorian, a bounty hunter to the core. There would be no room for more children in his life, or more time for a lover.

He was meant to be alone.

But... His heart betrayed him. But...

“Are you alright, Din?” A hand- warm to the touch- rested on his elbow. “You seem out of it.”

Snapped out of his thoughts, he gazed up at her, unable to stop himself from marveling at her. With the helmet on, in the sunlight, in complete darkness, she was beautiful. “I was just thinking.”

“About?”

He froze. “About...”

“Is it about today? What happened in Nevarro?” She frowned, lightly squeezing his elbow.

“...Yeah.” She wasn’t entirely wrong, but it still wasn’t fully right. “You could’ve died. You and the Child. I-“ His words got caught in his throat, and he almost choked. “I could’ve lost you.”

Kyla let out a small hum before sitting at his feet, resting her head on his knee. She gave him a smile, full of reassurance and hope. He stared just a tad too long at her lips. “But you didn’t. I’m still here, and so is the Child. You could never lose us, even if you wanted to.”

“But still, I...”

She rested a hand on his own. “I know. After Kuiil and IG-11...” A frown briefly made an appearance on her face; he wanted it gone. “We lost good people today. It was already hard when they died; I can’t imagine how I’d feel if you...”

She didn’t finish the thought. She didn’t need to. He knew fully well what she was going through.

But then she wiped the stray tears from the corners of her eyes and smiled again. “So I won’t imagine it. I’ll focus on the fact that you’re still here, alive and breathing. And I’m not going to mope anymore. They gave their lives so we could live ours, and I’ll honor them by living the best one I can.”

Din couldn’t help the small chuckle that escaped his mouth. She always knew what to say to make everyone feel better- he was no exception. “You’re right.”

“I know,” she teased, rubbing the side of his helmet in lieu of his cheek. He wished he could take it off. “Don’t overwork yourself; get some rest. You still have your head injury to consider.”

“Maybe later.”

She sighed, then shook her head. “You Mandalorians, I swear... Alright, but if the lights aren’t turned off in 30 minutes, I’ll make you rest.”

“I’d like to see you try.”

She grinned. “I have my ways.” Rising from the floor, she dusted herself off before resting a hand on the top of his helmet. “I’ll see you in the... morning? Something? Later.” With a shrug and a light laugh, she descended the ladder, and he could hear the sound of her cabin door sliding shut.

I have my ways.

When he turned back to the controls, he couldn’t stop the blush burning his cheeks.

He was glad for his helmet.

[...]

With the Razor Crest on autopilot, Din climbed down to the cargo hold to check on his clan.

His clan of three. The mere thought of those words had a bloom of heat blossoming in his chest.

Once more, the image from before entered his mind- a heavily pregnant Kyla waddling around, with the Child eagerly following her every move. He could see her lying in bed with her arms around her stomach, so sweet, so innocent-

He saw her face twist in pleasure, watched her clutch the ratty blankets as he continued to thrust into her warm, willing body, watched as his cum seeped out of her tight, wet-

He froze.

Fuck.

He immediately changed direction, heading straight to the refresher. A cold shower was in need if he planned on getting any sleep tonight.

[...]

He couldn’t sleep.

The nightmares had gotten worse. More faces swam in the inky darkness of his own mind- his mother and father, Kuiil, even that ridiculous IG unit...

But now, it was the Child, its tiny, limp body tossed aside by that Devaronian, Burg, who roared in sadistic laughter before turning his attention towards-

Towards-

He watched helplessly as Kyla cried out in pain, her hair tangled in the red bastard’s hands, watched as he began slamming her repeatedly into the ground, screamed and begged for him to stop, to torture him instead, and-

And he did, but she slumped to the ground; and as he finally gained back control over his body and scrambled his way over to her, he gazed into her glassy eyes and held her lifeless body close to his chest-

And screamed again when he saw his hands were stained red, and screamed and screamed and-

He jumped out of his bunk and stumbled out of his room, through the darkness of the Razor Crest (with no helmet- no one could see him anyway) and towards her room, making no attempt to be quiet. He slammed his hand on the door, begging for her to let him in, just please, Maker, let him in-

“Din? Is that you? What’s-“ Kyla stopped mid-sentence the moment he pulled her into a bone-crushing hug, sobs escaping his chest. “Are you alright?”

He didn’t answer, settling for burying his nose in the crook of her neck and breathing in her scent- sweet Bantha milk and cinnamon. She smelled alive.

“Din...” she murmured, rubbing small circles on his back. “It’s okay. I’m okay, I promise.”

Fuck, she felt so alive in his gloveless hands, so warm-

His lips ran over her throat and he pressed them against her skin, laving his tongue over her pulse. Fuck, she tasted like heaven-

He bit down. Hard.

She jumped, a small squeak squeezing past her lips. He wanted to hear more of it. “Din, are you-?”

He hummed as his lips traveled upward- brushing against her jaw and her cheek before resting against her mouth.

He pressed closer, so close that there was no space between them. And their lips remained locked together, even as he began to maneuver themselves towards the bed.

“Din!” she gasped as they fell onto the clunky mattress, only to be quickly replaced with the sweetest moan to ever grace his ears as he ran his hands down her sides until they rested on her hips. “Din, please-“

He shushed her, stripping her of her sleeping shorts and underwear and marveling at the soft skin of her inner thighs under his calloused palms. “Fuck, you’re perfect. So fucking perfect.”

“Din, you can’t even see me...”

“I don’t need to. I already knew; I’ve always known.” Leaning down to press a kiss on her thigh, he nosed his way down to the apex, unable to stop the moan rumbling out of his chest as he breathed in the smell of her body. She smelled so alive, so mouthwatering-

He couldn’t help himself- couldn’t stop himself, even if he wanted to. Without hesitation, he dragged his tongue over her slick entrance and delved deep, eager to elicit more of her sweet noises.

“Din!” she cried out, her fingers burying themselves in his hair. “Don’t- don’t stop, don’t ever stop-“

But he did. With a final, indulgent lick of her delectable cunt, he traveled upward, pausing for a few seconds to rip off her shirt, blatantly ignoring her weak protests and effectively silencing them with a swift kiss. She shivered underneath him, her soft moans smothered with his tongue as it tangled with her own.

With a free hand, Din stripped himself of his pants and positioned himself between her legs, but a warm hand rested on his shoulder.

“You didn’t get to...” she mumbled, voice dripping with pleasure. He could get drunk off the sound of it. She tugged off his shirt; he didn’t complain. “I wanna make you feel good too.”

“Maybe next time,” he whispered; his heart swelled with utter adoration. “But right now, I just need this. Are you alright?”

“Yes,” she breathed out, her hands intertwining around his neck.

“Do you want this?”

“Yes. Please; I want you.”

And with her reassurance, he slowly pressed himself into her...

Well...

He really did try to go slow. He really did. But the second his tip pressed into her velvety warmth, he saw galaxies dance across his vision- and he was done for.

With a quick snap of his hips, he sunk down to the hilt. Kyla gasped, hands moving to his shoulders as she squirmed underneath him in an attempt to adjust.

Don’t move yet, he managed to tell himself. Let her breathe first.

But fuck, it was so hard. Even as he buried his face into her neck in an attempt to ground himself, her scent only took him higher, far past the edges of the galaxy, far past any star system, far past the universe.

“Din,” Kyla murmured. Fuck, he loved when she said his name. “You can move.” She rolled her hips, and his cock sunk in just a tad deeper.

Maker, he felt that.

Immediately, he began to thrust into her, and he was, again, struck dumb by how utterly warm she was, how divine she felt around him.

“Fuck, so tight,” he growled out, sinking his teeth into her neck, never losing his rhythm. “How- how are you so goddamn tight? Fuck, it’s like you’re made for me-“

“I’m yours,” she sobbed, her head pressed into his chest. “I’m only yours, Din-“

Her words sent a sharp jolt running through his body. Instantly, he grabbed her legs and threw them over his shoulders, absorbing her ever-increasing moans as he delved further into her warm, wet cunt.

“Kyla,” he breathed out; his black vision was starting to turn white at the edges, and at the center of it all, he saw her. “You’re my everything. You’re my sun, my moon, the stars in my sky-“

“Oh, Din...” she croaked, leaning upwards just a tad to press a kiss to his skin.

“My world revolves around you,” he moaned into her ear. “My sweet goddess, I’m yours- everything I am is yours-“

She tightened around him. He swore; comets soared underneath his eyelids, and he could just see her beautiful eyes- eyes that shone brighter than any star.

“I love you, Din,” she cried, her grip around his neck tightening just slightly. “I love you with all I have, IloveyouIloveyouIloveyou-“

And with a broken shout, they came, each whispering the other’s name, raw love embedded in every syllable, laced in the air they breathed, soaked in their skin.

And as they laid together, limbs tangled so thoroughly that neither could tell where one ended and the other began, Din knew- deep in his heart- that there was no need for fear.

She was here, with him, in his arms, tiredly and lovingly stroking the edges of his face, mapping out every crease and line in his skin, fingers tracing his lips.

“I love you,” she repeated, and he didn’t need his sight to know that she was smiling at him.

She felt warm. She felt alive.

“I love you,” he whispered, caressing her cheek and leaning down to kiss her.

She made him feel so, so alive.

———————————————————————

A/N: my god this is the smuttiest thing I’ve ever written and will probably ever write.

Help me I need to bleach my eyeballs with holy water-