#better days for your strong will to endure your hardships WILL come. youre amazing for getting this far!
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just-null · 1 year ago
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Dear the Noritoshi Cult Leader,
May I have Noritoshi in butler outfit with bunny tail and ears? I need it to bless my gloomy day. I really appreciate it you took on my request. Thank you
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Lucky for you, cult member, i love butlers. A lot.
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sexwithamanda · 6 months ago
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I finished “The Nightingale”
and now I’m in awe.
Episode #62624
Now, I’m not one to leave a review for a book. But this book is LONG. and by long, I mean insanely long.
It has almost 600 pages and I sobbed so hard in my favorite boba tea place and I had to leave. I want to cry now just thinking about it. This author intertwines you into the lives of these characters and you fall in love, you cry, you laugh, and most of all you feel all the emotions you are supposed to feel especially with a topic as heavy as the holocaust.
It happened not that long ago but everyone tends to believe it was longer. It was like 80 years ago.
ONLY 80 years ago, like come again.
This is what humans did to other humans.
WHAT the actual flying duck what.
I don’t know if I could’ve been as strong as some of these amazing survivors. Life was so depressing, nothing to live for, nothing to look forward to.
I felt so drained and upset but so happy that this book was made. We need to talk about it.
I feel like and I know that the more that something is talked about the better understanding it becomes, the more people learn about it, and the more people will be aware that something like this CANNOT happen again.
And still similar things are happening in a reality that I don’t know myself. I am fortunate to live a life where I don’t worry about where my food is coming from, if I’ll be able to have a roof over my head, and the blessing I have to go to work without a bomb blasting me.
It’s terrifying that a reality existed for so many people where they don’t know what is in there future or the slightest idea of what will happen to them tomorrow.
We see that now in poverty, homelessness, in the WAR between Israel and Palestine because in reality that is what it is.
People don’t want to call things what they are because of the uncertainty or the uncomfortably it brings them but saying what things are, not tiptoeing around the fact that as bystanders looking in. We don’t know exactly what is happening there without actually being there. Without people who are living it in the now are reporting it to us.
There are so many hardships that people face regardless of race, gender, ethnicity, or sexual orientation that you or I won’t ever have to face because of the place we are in, and we still might endure it because of those things but I feel so blessed to live in a place that is not at war (at least right now).
I say this all to say, please kiss, love, hug, thank, and be around people the reciprocate the energy and beauty of loving unconditionally.
Life is too short and at the risk that it could be shorten at anytime, do yourself a favor and do everything more.
Love more.
Be present more.
Laugh more.
Just be more than the day before.
Life isn’t guaranteed.
Please do what you can to live your life to the fullest.
On that note, I will take a long awaited nap.
Sometimes you just need to sleep more.
Mahal Kita
Amanda 🫶🏻
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midnxghtsunwrites · 4 years ago
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GROUNDED
PAIRING —
william miller x black reader
SUMMARY —
You and Will have been through too much for you to abandon him at his darkest hour.
WARNINGS —
angst, fluff
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"Baby, I'm sorry." Your voice was quiet as you rubbed the back of William's hand. His skin is rough and scarred against the pad of your thumb — a symbol of the hardships he's endured both during his service and after.
You'd stuck by his side all those years ago when he was in the brigade commandeered by Tom "Redfly" Davis. They were close — damn, you were all close. You were practically Tess's aunt, showing up at every birthday party and barbecue before Tom's divorce made way.
The years you've been with Will gave you clarity — into his struggle with PTSD and the emotional impact serving as a Special Force Operative had on him. He even taught you a thing or two, defense-wise, before he was caught in a situation in your local Publix — his arm wrapped around another man's throat because he hadn't moved his cart. That lead you to jump on his back and wrangle him back to reality.
He's a soldier in every sense of the word.
He'd gotten better after that incident — attending therapy sessions and doing more public speaking at military bases. It was better to keep his mind off of the terror and trauma from his years of fighting in a war.
He was doing better. And then Santiago just had to come along and convince him to join him for one last ride. Of course, you couldn't do much but support him — that's all he ever asked for. Your love and support. And you were hesitant to give it to him.
But, you did.
And he left for two weeks and returned with a bullet wound — another scar added to his shelf of souvenirs — and a dead captain.
The first night he came back was spent on the beachfront of your home, unable to hide the tears any longer. That night, he slept with his head over your heart, almost as if to make sure it was still beating.
You gave him his space for three days — to get his bearings and a handle on life.
You weren't surprised when he gathered you up one day and drove you to your spot. It was where you had your first date however many years ago — he'd paid for the meal and was a proper gentleman. Of course, you just had to give him your number and hope for the best. Immediately, you knew he was drawn back.
He'd just finished his first tour and the trauma was as strong as it was present — you didn't expect to get a call back after he dropped you home. You were at work when he did, though.
From then on, you and Will had been connected in a way no one really understood. But, it wasn't for them to understand. It's like a well-kept secret between two lovers.
Will's eyes are trained on your dainty fingers as you trace jagged waves along his tainted skin. Your touch could calm a storm, he always tells you. His back presses against the wall of the restaurant, a tattooed arm resting atop the back of his seat, and his other arm stretched across the cold metal table towards you.
Your fingers run up the inside of his wrist and trails the ink in his skin. It's his Force tattoo, faded against his fair skin from years of wearing it as a badge of honor. This isn't his only tattoo.
Just on his other arm is a tribute to a fallen soldier from his first tour. They were the closest friends each other had before Benny decided to join the army as well. It was by a miracle that he was put into the same regiment as his brother.
It didn't seem like much of a miracle when William's friend was blown to pieces on the field.
William lazily tips the neck of his beer bottle to his mouth as he shifts his gaze to the crease between your eyebrows — one that only appears when you're concentrated.
You're so taken with his marred skin littered with healed wounds that you jump slightly when he lifts his hand to take a hold of your own, removing your fingers from his forearm.
He raises your connected fingers and presses it to his lips. Your lips form a pout when you see the tears gathering in his eyes. As he draws your hand away, his gaze transfers to the bare ring finger on your left hand.
"I love you." He proclaims, as he rubs your ring metacarpal, "And I want to thank you for being patient with me. I know..." He sighs as he tries to find the right words to say. Finally, "I know it hasn't been easy being with someone so broken."
You want to stop him. You want to tell him that relationships aren't always easy. You want to tell him that he's not broken, just in pain. You want to tell him that you love him too. So much that it hurts.
But you don't. You wait for him to express his feelings. As long as you have to.
"You've been there for me, Y/N — even when no one else has. You've been helping me for so long that I feel..." He can't continue, instead choosing to look down at your connected hands.
Your finger rubs against his as you realize this, "It's okay, Will. You know you can talk to me."
Your words give him that gentle push — "I feel like I'm keeping you from your life, Y/N. You've had to deal with my trauma and I've been ignoring you and your feelings. I don't want to do that to you, baby. Not anymore. I wanna take care of you instead of it being the other way around."
Y/C/E meet blue as you lean back in interest. Your boyfriend couldn't be more wrong about how he thinks you feel. He's held you back from nothing — when you asked him to move to a new neighborhood, he packed up your bags and boxes and loaded the moving truck; when you asked him to stick by you when you went back to school, he helped you study and ace all off your exams to receive your degree; when you asked him to be there for you, he was. And you know he always will be.
With this in mind, you slide out of your side of the booth, your hand still intertwined with his. He watches you, carefully as you step off the platform on your side before stepping up on his. His legs are stretched along the seat, prompting you to plop yourself right down on his lap. His beautiful blue eyes stare up at you.
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Instinctively, he plants his beer on the table and snakes his arms around your waist, keeping you in place. You can feel the bulge of his crotch on the right side of your thigh but restrain yourself — now isn't the time.
"You see that?" Your right hand presses against his chest while your left hand finds its place on his strong arm, right above his military tattoo. You refer to his instinct to hold you. "That is you taking care of me. That is you loving me more than I deserve. Baby," You search his eyes, his pupils dilating as he's overtaken with love, "You're my life. Don't think you've been ignoring me, Will. We just had to reduce that pain you've been living with. Because I'm not happy if you're not happy."
Reaching an arm around, you take his hand into yours and pulls it from your waist. His hand falls limp as he watches you draw him towards you. You rest the palm of his hand on your chest, right above your beating heart.
At the feeling of the organ beating against your chest, Will is brought back to earth. You keep him grounded and that's all he could ever ask of you.
"This is yours, Will. You own it. We've been through too much for you not to."
As you watch the thoughts swirl behind his expressive eyes, you're confused when he pulls his hand away from you. He reaches into his jeans pocket and emerges with a clasped fist. Hovering over the table palm down, he opens his hand and brings your attention to the rose gold ring — a significant contrast from the wooden surface it rests on.
Your breath catches in your throat and your heart is pounding against your ribcage.
He looks at it for a moment before tilting his head towards you, "Marry me."
"Will..."
"It’s been a long time coming, Y/N. We've been together for eight years — which I'm sure is seven years longer than what you wanted.”
He loves you, ardently, and now he finds the strength he was searching desperately for just the other day. "I love you, Y/N Y/L/N. With every fragmented piece of me that you've managed to put back together. And I'm forever grateful that you came into my life when I least expected you, but most needed you."
Now it's your turn for your heart to melt — you're growing weak at his words, eyes filling slowly with tears.
His eyes remain on you as you crane your neck to ogle the engagement band on the table. The center is oval shaped and sparkling under the dim lighting of the restaurant. It's beautiful, perfect even — more than you could've asked for.
He is more than you could've asked for.
"I'm done with this shit, babe." Will says as he sees an indecipherable look in your eye. Overthinking leads him to believe that you have doubts about his minimalistic proposal, "I'm completely retired. It's just us — no Pope, no Fish, no Benny, no —" He stops himself before he can say the name.
It's too soon.
The silence between you two is deafening as you're frozen in your spot.
All you can seem to release is his name — it's the only word on your tongue. The only sound you could muster.
He brushes a kinky curl from your forehead and stares up at you, awaiting an answer. Everything in you tells you to speak. To do something — anything.
It's only when Will's grip loosens around your waist that you're snapped back into reality. You'd only dreamed for this moment and now that it's here, your brain seemed to be malfunctioning. Instead of opening your mouth, you reach forward and with your index finger and thumb, you lift the beautiful ring from the table.
"Yes." The word is so quiet that you didn't even realize you said it. Speak up. "Yes, I'll marry you, Will. Christ, you didn't even have to ask."
This has to be the first time he's smiled since he came home. It's bright and amazing and nostalgic. White teeth wink at you as he wastes no time taking the ring from your fingers and sliding it on your digit, his eyes seeming to reflect the sparkle of the engagement band.
The kiss you two share is nothing grandiose. Your kisses rarely are — but they still hold a level of sensuality and passion that many can just wish for. Will runs his tongue along your bottom lip before capturing it in his warm beer-flavored mouth. You don't mind — he has good taste in alcohol.
For a moment, you two forget that you're in a public space. One where patrons are making their exit, but public nonetheless. You pull away when you feel the tears gather in your eyes. You love this man with your heart, mind, and soul — every part of you is overwhelmed with a wave of fervent endearment.
"Damn, I love you." Will exhales as he draws you into a homely embrace.
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general taglist : @gwenspacy @dollyhoess @complacentviawattpad @rosenoirwrites @random-ficreader23 @kyla-queen
let me know if you'd like to join my general taglist! feel free to like, reblog, and comment! also, my asks are open — and im taking requests!
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hinac0lada · 4 years ago
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LET’S FALL IN LOVE FOR THE NIGHT
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900 SPECIAL  — LET’S FALL IN LOVE FOR THE NIGHT
CHARACTER PAIRING: AKAASHI KEIJI X READER
WARNINGS: none
ALEX’S NOTE: hello lovely people! me and riss would like to thank you for helping us reach 900!! thank you all for appreciating our works and giving it some love. to compensate, i decided to post this song fic i made which was inspired by FINNEAS’ - Let’s Fall In Love For The Night  . if you can, please do listen to it while reading the fic, enjoy!
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"he broke up with me, i should've seen this coming" i heard you say, a dry laugh coming from the other line, and then silence. i fiddled around with my fingers, worried about your state of mind. i knew this was coming, you were blinded with the love you had for that douche, but i could never blame you for loving someone. it was his fault, after all, for not seeing how amazing you are.
i sighed at the sound of your sobs that you struggled to suppress. we've been in situations like these before where you'd call me in the middle of the night after a heated argument, while i try to convince you to at least take a break from your relationship, but then i fail miserably because you adored that son of a gun too much. and in the end, you'd tell me you'll endure the pain until you couldn't.
i should get used to it by now, but no matter how repetitive this circumstance gets, i could still feel my blood boil every time i imagine the sight of you, sobbing on the floor of your shared apartment in a dimly lit room, all alone. all because of your loving boyfriend.
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"k-keiji, i should've listened t-to you..i prepared for this moment, but why does it still hurt?" you managed to let out in between your whimpers. i could hear my heart crack, how could i let this happen to you? this was by far the worst you've ever been in— the lowest of the lows, and i don't want you to be like this anymore. and so, unlike most lonely nights, this time, i'll be by your side.
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"w-what do i do now, keiji? he wants me to move out . ."
"..you can stay with me for a while, and i'm not taking no for an answer, (y/n)."
"..alright alright, thank you so much keiji, i owe you one."
"no problem. now pack your bags, i'll pick you up at 25."
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i know it was impulsive of me— maybe even thoughtless as i've forgotten i made plans with bokuto tonight, but i can't just let you swim in your own tears. i want to help you mend your heart, which i should've done long ago .
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exactly 25 minutes later, i arrive in front of the apartment complex you once shared with your— now ex— lover. your tear-stained face, accompanied with puffy red eyes that usually radiated joy was filled with deep melancholy, a complete contrast to your lively visual.
i hastily got out of the car, intending to help you with your luggage until i was greeted with a tight embrace, you clung onto me as though your life depended on it, with your face buried in my chest.
your tears poured like waterfalls, soaking my shirt. but i didn't mind, this was nothing but a piece of fabric compared to how much i value you. but how could he let you, a literal angel— a goddess if you will, disregard you just like that? how could he turn a blind eye to your selflessness just for his selfish desires?
i regained my composure, gently wrapping my arms around your quivering figure, shaking from your uncontrollable sobs. i caressed your hair and rubbed soothing circles on your back, whispering sweet nothings into your ear in an attempt to calm your frustrations.
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i know you're trying your best not to burst right then and there, in the front passenger seat of my car. the drive was tranquil yet i could feel the slow, burning tension. i could sense the way you're choking back the lump in your throat from how loud your heart thumped in your eardrums while you tried distracting yourself by looking out at the city lights as they passed by in a blur.
i reached out for your hand while my other kept steady on the steering wheel, keeping my focus on the road. a smile made its way onto my lips, eyeing your flushed cheeks from the corner of my eyes. "let's forget about that jerk for now. why don't we have fun tonight?" i questioned, coming to a halt once the traffic light flashed red.
my gaze shifts from the road to your expression, feeling the heavy weight on my chest uplift, relieved to finally see you grinning. pools of (e/c) getting more vibrant every second, your grip on my hand tightening. a glimpse of green flared— a 'go' signal.
as if on queue, the radio played your favorite song, making me quietly sing along, hoping you would join in eventually. and when you did, the atmosphere shifted into a more gleeful one, the car ride filled to the brim with singing and laughter, your honey coated voice sounding like a beautiful song that i would never get tired of.
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i still don't know how we went from eating to our heart's content, to end up doing karaoke. purple and pink neon lights set the mood of the room, your voice echoed throughout the small space, swaying your hips to the beat.
you're such a strong person, it's crazy. it's like the heartache you felt just hours ago, never was there in the first place. i've always admired how even if you went through the depths of hell and back, at the end of the day, you'd pick yourself back up and stay optimistic through your hardships.
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"keiji come on, sing with me!"
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you snapped me out of my thoughts and tugged me towards you, handing me a microphone. your sunny disposition has a way of rubbing off on those around you. i'm not one to let loose easily, but miraculously, it only takes you to let out this side of mine. it started off as just you, but then it transitioned to a duet. and now we're having a full blown mini concert.
the night was still young, we're unproblematic and carefree, not caring of what lies ahead for tomorrow. will we ever know?
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"sometimes i wishhis mom just swallowed him.."
"y/n!"
"what? you'd wish the same too.."
"..yeah, you're not wrong about that"
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you cackled while i chuckled along with you. it's 1 am and we got back with a tub of ice cream which we impulsively bought after the karaoke session. we sat on the couch in our pajamas, putting on a random TV show even though we weren't planning on watching, instead, i opted to listen to you venting about your ex, making commentary here and there.
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"looking back, i don't really know what i saw in that jerk.."
"i guess you could say, love does make you go blind"
"does love make you blind, or is love blind?"
"i don't know, maybe both?"
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time flew by fast and all our nonsense to intellectual conversations resulted in us trying to finish the gallon of ice cream while watching some TV series. i observed your eyes trying to blink away the feeling of tiredness, the activities of today starting to wear you down and make you lethargic. your constant yawning and droopy eyelids was a dead give away, you were like a child trying to stay awake.
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"you're too resilient, you need to get your rest soon."
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i chuckled quietly at your 23rd yawn, you rubbed your eyes sleepily. i turned the tv off before i led you to the guest bedroom, with your presence trailing behind me. upon entering, you settled down in the bed, arranging the pillows and sheets to your liking.
"well, i hope you have a good night's rest, y/n," i began to take my leave, heading for the door, however, i was stopped when you grabbed onto my wrist. i looked over my shoulder to meet your pleading eyes, those eyes that i could never resist. "keiji, i don't think i'd be able to sleep by myself tonight.."
"i-i mean..you don't have to stay the whole night if you don't want to, i just, really need someone's presence right now, at least until i fall asleep." you struggled maintaining eye contact with me, your cheeks vividly tinted with pink despite the dimly lit room. i was reluctant at first, not because i don't want to, but because it was quite unexpected.
"hm? ..sure, since you asked. i won't turn you down, ever." with that being said, i slowly but hesitantly got in the sheets, while you shifted, trying to get in a comfortable position. it was all foreign to me, feeling someone's warmth beside me in this cold bed, but i eventually got used to it. we laid there in silence, enjoying each other's company as we tried to doze off.
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"i'm so stupid." i looked at you, a rueful smile displaying your beautiful features as you glanced up at the ceiling of my apartment room. i hummed in response, a sign for you to elaborate. in my eyes, you're definitely nowhere near stupid.
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"so stupid for ever choosing someone i love rather than someone who loved me. an imbecile not to realize he's right beside me through everything. the highest form of stupidity, was when i kept denying my feelings for you all this time."
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is this a dream? i must be dreaming, right? if it was, i never ever want to wake up.
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"the look on your face definitely tells me you think this is a dream, am i right or am i right?"
you turned on your side to face me, the once bittersweet smile replaced by your signature cheeky grin. i felt my breath hitch, our faces just inches away from each other.
with your features up close, it was much more breathtaking than it already was from before. i want to say something, but why can't i?
"k-keiji, i know this is sudden, and maybe you've moved on and all, i can't blame you if you did. if it isn't too late, maybe we could fall in love for th-"
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i crashed my lips with yours, cutting you off mid sentence whilst gently cupping your face in my hands. i feel your hands making its way to my hair, gently brushing through and tugging at it.
what am i doing? what has gotten into me? but whatever this is, i hope you and i never regret this night, or any nights we spent together. i know better than to ever call you mine, but maybe this time, this moment at least, i have the chance to. is it too selfish of me to think that?
we eventually pulled away, catching our breaths, in the process, my eyes never left yours. to tell you the truth, i'm the fool, the stupid one. stupid for running away from my feelings, stupid for not taking the risk and tell you how much i've loved you ever since. but it's better late than never,
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". . how about we fall in love for the rest of our lives?"
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GENERAL TAGLIST: 
@pyblos​ @some-oxymoron​ @kxgeyamasmilk​ @kunimwuah​ @hakueishirei​ @rollingthundaa​
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migleefulmoments · 5 years ago
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Anonymous asked: Something I've been thinking about lately, is D doesn't just suffer for the moment, he also has to anticipate taking responsibility whenever he does come out. And the dread must gets worse as time (& more BS) goes by. Speaking from experience, even w/ people who love you, who will support you through everything, the guilt/fear/shame still wrecks havoc on you each day. And ofc he knows what people say & sees fans mock & criticize him for it all. I imagine that adds a lot of pain and stress
ajw720 answered: Anon. I can only imagine that guilt and fear weighs heavily and is a part of his everyday life.
I think he has such an amazing support system and I take comfort in that fact. He was truly blessed with his parents and partner. But they aren’t him and no matter how hard they try. They can never take the burden off his shoulders. Never. He’s the one whose internalizing and living with the full fear. (Abby’s very childish and romanticized ideas about love and how love makes everything bad go away. It doesn’t. If Love was actually effective in curing mental health issues, we wouldn’t have much drug abuse or suicide in this country. The truth is that love and caring family and friends are certainly important, but they could never help someone under the kind of distress that ccDarren is supposedly under.  Just the mistrust issues alone would be overwhelming. ccDarren would have developed paranoia and trust issues as his entire team, his wife, and his brother work to methodically destroy him. He never spends any time with Chris so even if Chris is supportive, they don’t spend enough time together for Chris to actually support him..  Just knowing someone loves you isn’t going make up for Darren’s human rights violations.  Abby seems to get her ideas about love from Cinderella and Snow White- both women were in terrible situations for sure. They both had evil step-mothers who were torturing them and putting their lives at risk over petty jealousies. Both women were saved by their handsome, wealthy princes who fell in love at first sight and whisked them off to the palace to live happily ever after as the Queens. It’s not at all realistic-we don’t even have Monarchy in Americ- but certainly romantic when you are 5 years old and believe love solves all problems.) 
As for the fans. I personally make an effort to not blame him. I won’t say I don’t question some things. But I fully recognize that he’s a victim living the best life he can while under these constraints and surrounded by toxic people constantly trying to exploit him. Further. I fully understand that’s he’s not in control.
I too get frustrated when others think they have free reign to mock and laugh. And each time I ask. What would you do? How would you survive? How can you judge when you’ve never lived anything remotely like it? (So dramatic Abby,, it draws in your followers and keeps them hooked. After all, nobody wants to be the person who ignores a fellow human being suffering even if that person is a multimillionaire with two wealthy parents, a wife, many friends, work confidants, etc etc.) 
It’s so damn infuriating that people forget about his humanity (Oh his humanity, how dare we forget his humanity.  Keep reeling them in Abby). And that the only person truly hurt in this is d himself. Who are we to judge? (HILARIOUS Abby, You judge Darren and Abby and all their friends all the damn time) To me. The point of being here in CCland is to offer support. If I can no longer offer that, I can walk away. D never can.
I know I say this a lot. But I know a lot about bravery. I’ve witnessed it first hand with people in my life. And there are a handful I truly admire for being able to continuously overcome the obstacles in their path. (Life is complicated. In 2020, people have extreme stressors from so many different parts of their lives. People survive illnesses and injuries they never would have before. But we all know people who have been through hell and back from illness and injuries. You aren’t unique. Darren is a multi-millionaire with an entire team of people he hires to help him work better, a lot of close friends, two wealthy parents, and a job he loves. He is filled with resources to survive hardship. There is nothing about Darren’s life that we know of that I would consider heroic).
I count d among that group of people. The fact that he is not only still standing, but thriving in his career, and still able to remain a kind and humble human being is a testament to his strength and endurance. (The fact that Darren is thriving in his career and still able to remain kind and humble proves he isn’t going through the horrors that Abby envisions.  Nobody is so strong they can withstand severe decade-long stressors and still thrive professionally- especially in such a public career.)  
If I ever had the chance. I’d tell him just that. (NEVER CONTACT THE PLAYERS...isnt’ that your rule Abby?) And that I think everything is going to be ok in the end (It’s all a fairytale so that is a likely ending if you write it that way)  More than ok. It’s going to be grand (Again, fairytale so anything is possible) Even if not at first. Because d has spent so much time reinforcing to his fans that his worthy of love and support. Because of his talent. Yes. But because of the way he treats people. This is a man who goes out of his way for his fans. Truly one of a kind. (Huh? “He spent so much time reinforcing to his fans that his worthy of love and support. Because of his talent. Yes. because of the way he treats people? I don’t understand your point. You broke so many rules of grammar).  
I have nothing but faith. (Well that makes sense since you have no proof.  "I  have nothing but faith” is the most accurate statement you have ever made @ajw720). 
#2 years of hell on earth. #i pray everyday this gets better and soon
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dancingsparks · 5 years ago
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Real Elvish Rope
This is for @urfavpendeja, because she is amazing and wonderful and I am so happy to be her friend.
Thank you, @april-thelightfury115 for beta reading this and the lovely comments
Also on Ao3
Merry and Pippin were falling over each laughing, bursting into new giggles whenever they so much as looked into their direction. This was not good, not good at all. Thankfully, Sam seemed less at a loss as to what to do when you wake up with your arm tightly bound to your best friend’s. Though to be fair, Sam didn’t have to deal with the added difficulty of being utterly in love with said best friend.
“What do you think you are doing? Untie us immediately!” Unfortunately, Sam’s valiant efforts were only met with more hysteric laughter. Visibly giving up on getting any help from their insufferable friends, Sam instead focused his attention on the rope binding them together. It was the elven rope Galadriel had gifted him in Lothlórien - Sam couldn’t bear to part with it, it being a gift from an Elf and all. Frodo had thought it endearing, how much value Sam could find in the most elemental things; now Frodo wished he had left it behind.
That wasn’t fair, it wasn’t Sam’s fault they were in this situation after all. No, the only ones to blame were, as usual, Merry and Pippin. These two had always been prone to mischief, but Frodo had the impression they’d been worse since coming back from their adventure. Adventure - the term didn’t fit what each and every single one of them went through, but it was what Sam and Frodo had taken to calling it.
“Don’t you worry Mr. Frodo, I will get us out of this in no time at all. I think if I just pull here-” Sam pulled somewhere in the giant mess of a knot Frodo didn’t even attempt to decipher, looking triumphant for one short moment. Then the rope wound itself tighter around their arms, forcing them impossibly closer together.
Their faces were suddenly only inches apart, close enough that Frodo could feel Sam’s breath on his face, could see the gold sprinkles in his eyes.
“I don’t think you were supposed to pull there, Sam.” He smiled at him, incredibly tempted to stop his mumbled apologies by simply kissing him. He found himself wishing to kiss Sam quite often lately. Frodo quickly pulled back, lest he finally gave in to temptation. He underestimated the strength of the rope though, rearing back immediately and literally falling onto Sam, toppling him over.
Just a second ago he wouldn’t have thought it possible, but this position was even worse. Sam laid under him now, staring up at him in surprise, eyes wide, lips slightly parted. They practically begged to be kissed, all Frodo would have to do was lean down -
The moment was broken by a jarringly loud swell of laughter and the sudden appearance of Merry and Pippin next to them on the ground. Shoved into action, Frodo scrambled as far away from Sam as the rope would allow -which is to say not far at all- and tried to get a hold of this bizarre situation he somehow found himself in.
They were outside, next to the old tree Sam and Frodo liked to sit at, the one from which you could see the whole vale. Not the entire shire, of course, but a decent representation of it. That made sense, he knew this place, it was acceptable. He and Sam must have come up here like they did often, fell asleep, woke up bound Because Merry and Pippin thought themselves funny. Yes, that seemed about right. They must have provided them with a very easy target, too, and now an endless source of amusement.
As logical as the explanation sounded to his own ears, he’d better confirm it, because otherwise he would have to go back to thinking about how Sam was close enough that he could feel his warmth; how easy it would be to snuggle back into his broad chest and wrap those strong arms around him.
“Would someone mind telling me what’s happening here?” He used the most authoritative voice he was capable of at that moment, realising too late that it would hardly entreat his friends to answer him clearly. Merry and Pippin held their breath for a moment, stopping the incessant snickering to stare at Frodo. Hope flared in him, that it might have actually worked, before the cackling started again. He gave up on them with a resigned sigh, it would have been exceedingly odd for them to answer his demand anyway.
“I would think it pretty obvious what happened here, Frodo. We have to go now, but you two have fun, yes?” Before either Sam or Frodo could protest, Merry and Pippin pulled each other up, waved at them, and left, congratulating each other on a prank well executed. That was Frodo’s sole distraction gone. He should have reserved his sigh for now, because this situation surely called for one.
Watching them skipping down the hill, Frodo tried to come to terms with this development. Granted, it was far from optimal, but really, he had endured worse. Being bound to Sam would be no hardship, if only he could control his urges. They would be free in no time at all, Sam would never have to know, and they could laugh about it a few years down the road. It would be a story Sam could tell his children - the time he was bound to their uncle Frodo.
“We’d better leave it Mr. Frodo. Ask Gandalf to look at it maybe, he’s a wizard after all - who better to ask?” He was more talking to himself, examining the rope with a concentrated little frown on his face. It was adorable and Frodo found it all too easy to ignore the words and their meanings for now, simply admiring how handsome Sam looked when he was lost in thought.
“Are you alright, Mr. Frodo?” Sam was frowning at him now, something he did far too often. It didn’t seem pensive anymore, more concerned than anything else. The urge to smooth it out, wipe away the unhappy expression and all his worries with it came over Frodo, not unexpected but still overwhelming.
It was a futile hope, all he could do was alleviate the concern. But Sam would always fuss about him - that was who he was and Frodo loved him that way. Though he still wished he would worry less.
“Yes my dear Sam, I am quite alright. And I agree, it seems like any attempts to free ourselves only results in us being closer than before. This is no common rope, we shouldn’t dare tempt it.” He also didn’t dislike these circumstances, but Sam didn’t need to know that. That was his burden to bear, and his alone. He had experience with that kind of thing after all, though love was far more pleasing a burden.
“Let’s not dwell here then, I will make us something nice to eat and things will look better already. There is nothing a decent meal can’t fix.” Sam heaved himself up, offering his free hand to Frodo. He gratefully accepted and then they were walking down the hill together, leaning too close and planning their supper.
***
“You lads still bound, I see. Me and my Bertha, we did that too, was more common back then, though. Didn’t think such young folks as you would be interested. Hope no one given you any trouble? Heard there’s intolerant folks, just over in Bree, I did. It’s because of all the foreigners, I tell you. Shouldn’t let them in if all they do is cause trouble. But no one ever listens to me, only complain when it’s too late. Nothing but talk they all are, never doing anything.” He took another deep swallow from his mug, ignoring Frodo’s confusion in favour of drinking. He’d been referring to the rope, of course, that much was obvious – but everything else a mystery.
Frodo didn’t even know him, some friend of the Gaffer, Sam had said, and that it would be rude not to sit with him after he invited them. Frodo didn’t know who Bertha was, nor why he would willing bind himself to her, or why he stopped for that matter. That wasn’t quite right, he could see why he wasn’t bound to her anymore - it was hardly practical. He and Sam had been bound for about a week now, and things were less than ideal.
For one, obvious and yet a revelation when Frodo first realised the full impact, they could never part, thus had to do everything together. That was the crux of the matter - Frodo had much time to contemplate this and was fairly sure of it now. It’s not that he didn’t enjoy spending his every waking, and sleeping, moment with Sam - it’s that he enjoyed it too much. It has become increasingly more difficult to refrain from touching, from staring too long, and to remind himself that he could never have this.
Out of necessity, they had taken to sleeping in the same bed. Sam had refused at first, intent on sleeping on the hard floor next to the bed, insisting he didn’t want to burden Frodo or endanger his sleep. It had taken some coaxing and reminding of the nights they’d spent on their adventure, and finally, the closest Frodo wanted to get to a command, before Sam gave in and laid down next to him.
The bed was indeed very narrow for two fully grown hobbits, so they had to lay pressed close together. Frodo didn’t mind that; he felt safe, warm, and protected this close to his Sam. And if Sam minded, he never said a word. It didn’t matter in the end, because even if they had a larger bed with more than enough space, they would still be bound together. Again, Frodo wasn’t complaining, he loved falling asleep and waking up in Sam’s arms.
A problem neither of them had anticipated were clothes. It was impossible to change shirts when your arm was bound to someone else’s. It was equally impossible to simply not change them, the thought of a stinking, dirty shirt causing horror to both of them. Not wearing shirts at all, was equally unthinkable, for reasons far less innocent. So they did the only reasonable thing - they wore ponchos. They were of ridiculous design -not that Frodo would ever point that out, as Sam was extremely fond of them- with silly fringes and clashing colours. Frodo would have buried them somewhere deep in the cupboard, never to see the light of day again and lie forgotten, but Sam had been so proud when he presented them - he couldn’t go through with it. It was at least better than wearing nothing, he supposed.
In contrast, cooking had been a pleasant surprise. They had gone from Frodo uselessly following Sam around while he cooked, to Sam handing him things to hold and carry and finally trusting him with simple cutting and stirring work. Frodo had never much cared for cooking, nothing like the passion Sam had for it. But watching him lovingly wash vegetables, taste from different pots and deliberate about the exact component missing - Frodo had found a new appreciation for cooking.
Frodo was startled out of his musings by Sam, smiling at him and expecting an answer. Frodo could feel himself blush as he admitted to being lost in daydreams and not paying attention. Sam just laughed fondly before explaining how he was asked some advice on a garden and he recommended something he did in their garden - honestly, Frodo didn’t pay attention to the words this time either, too caught up in admiring Sam’s enthusiastic passion. Not that Sam seemed to mind, giving up and shaking his head in fond exasperation.
***
This had been an exceptionally stupid idea. The candle on their desk was burning, casting everything in a warm glow and filling the air with a sweet scent. The tablecloth was deep red, perfectly matching to the roses on every table. And even though he couldn’t see where, Frodo could swear there was someone playing emotional and profound pieces on the piano. This must be the most, over the top romantic place in the whole shire - he could have lived blissfully unaware of it, never stepping a foot in here.
But he wasn’t here for himself, he was here for Sam. Sam and Rosie, that was. The first proper date Sam would take her on, and the fool had wanted to cancel it, all because he didn’t want to inconvenience Frodo. He had been set, rather persistently actually, to miss an romantic evening with the love of his life; didn’t even plan on telling Frodo he was to blame for it. But Sam was the love of Frodo’s life, and as such, he aspired to make him happy above all. So when Sam had insisted that he didn’t want to go on his date with Rosie, that their bond had changed everything, Frodo had dutifully ignored him and forced him to go regardless. He would not allow him to ruin his chance at happiness over unnecessary concern for Frodo.
Now here he was, gazing at Sam’s lovely eyes over the candlelight, forcibly reminding himself that this was not for him. This was all for Rosie, Sam tolerated him here and he better not forget it. Frodo’s role in all of this was to be supportive and accepting of their relationship, not hope for it to fail behind his friends back. And he didn’t! It would hurt his dear Sam greatly, which was the last thing Frodo could ever want.
Sam was as nervous as Frodo, fidgeting and casting furtive glances around the restaurant. Frodo had already done that and -finding the surrounding hobbits, flowers and romantic trinkets not nearly as fascinating as Sam- had no plans of doing so again. Sam was blushing endearingly, appearing even softer than usual in the candlelight. Maybe Frodo could find the appeal in this date thing after all - it would be most lovely to have Sam here with him of his own volition, to see Sam blush and fidget because of him and be allowed to calm him with a gentle touch. He could almost pretend, could forget they were waiting for Rosie -
“I am sorry that I am late, I hope you haven’t waited too long?” Rosie’s sudden arrival ripped him out of his fantasy. Smiling a bright smile that instantly made Frodo forgive the rudeness and Sam’s blush intensify.
“No, its quite alright, we haven’t waited too long. Please, sit down.” Sam stood up, pulling the chair out for her like the perfect gentleman. Frodo forced a smile. This would be harder than anticipated. But he was proud of Sam, that alone should make it bearable. In the past Sam would hardly get one coherent sentence out in front of her, stumbling over his words and feet in equal measure.
Now he was earnest, and charming, showing none of his insecurities, and treated her like he would any other hobbit, with courtesy and respect.
It was a mystery to Frodo how he’d wrestled his nervousness under control this quickly; it had been barely a week since he asked her out, convinced she would reject him. That had been the very same day those insipid hobbits he called friends bound them together. Frodo cursed their timing. He wasn’t certain if he wished they’d done it sooner, preventing Sam from ever asked Rosie out, or later, so that Frodo wouldn’t have to sit through their date, watching them lovingly gaze at each other. He desperately hoped it was the latter; he didn’t want to begrudge Sam his happiness, but he had a sneaking dread that it might be the former.
“I have to admit, I didn’t expect you to still want me here, after I heard of your bonding. I promise you I wouldn’t be cross with you, I rather suspected something like this.” She was smiling again -could that woman do nothing else- though it was less friendly this time and had what Bilbo would call a ‘scheming quality’ to it. But Frodo must be misreading it, Sam wouldn’t be interested in someone dishonest. Frodo was tempted to ask her how she could possibly have foreseen their friend’s terrible sense of humour, but he refrained. This was not his date, Sam and Rosie were most likely intent on forgetting his presence all together and wouldn’t take well to the reminder of the third party at their table.
“Oh no! I assure you Rosie, I would never have asked you out if that were the case. You don’t deserve to be treated like that! Our friends think themselves funny you see, I don’t think they even realised what they did. Please don’t doubt that you are wanted here.” At Sam’s earnest assurance something ugly climbed up in Frodo, something demanding he tell her she was not wanted in the slightest and better stay away from his Sam. He pushed it down, firmly and deep, knowing it would creep up again no matter how hard he tried to extinguish it. Like the weed Sam would sometimes complain about - you never got rid of it, could only try your best to control the damage. Frodo forced himself to echo Sam’s sentiment at her searching look in his direction. He could never forgive himself if he scared Sam’s love away.
“I see you both have arranged yourself with the situation splendidly, maybe your friends knew something you didn’t?” She made Sam laugh with her cryptic remark and Frodo tried to be pleased about that, relived that he would spend his life with someone who made him laugh. Sam’s laugh was a beautiful thing, full of life and joy, it would be crime if it became a rare occasion. And if Rosie would keep it alive by talking nonsense, Frodo could live with that.
“This has been – revealing - but I fear I must leave you, I have an urgent matter to attend to. Thank you for inviting me, Sam, I sincerely am happy for you, please don’t hold back on my account. We should do this again soon. It was lovely meeting you Frodo, I am sure you will excuse me.” She smiled that smile again, that one full of riddles and knowledge Frodo didn’t have. He couldn’t find it in himself to be overly irked though. She was leaving again, and the small but very loud, selfish part of Frodo was glad for it. It was easily enough justified, she didn’t reject Sam, complimented him even, and asked to postpone this. Most likely she was uncomfortable with Frodo being there and too polite to say so.
Frodo expected Sam to be crestfallen at the development, but he seemed oddly relieved to see her go. He didn’t look sad, didn’t plead with her to stay but wished her good luck with that mysterious matter of hers, and bid her goodbye. It could have been a front, of course, but as they sat down again he smiled at Frodo, waiting for him to say something.
“I’m sorry she left early, I can’t imagine how you must feel. I fear my presence might have scared her off.” It was the only thing he could think to say, regardless of the fact that Sam didn’t look like he needed or wanted his condolences.
“Oh you mustn’t Mr. Frodo, she had somewhere else to be, it is not your fault. We can try again, some other time.” He stopped there, opening his mouth as if to say more but changed his mind in the last moment, deciding against it.
Frodo couldn't believe that Sam was as nonchalant about Rosie leaving as he pretended, but he knew better than to ask again. When Sam had decided on something, nothing could deter him, so when he wanted to pretend he wasn’t hurt, Frodo would not question him. But he could also do his best to reduce Sam’s suffering, no matter if it was admitted or not. He would get him out of here, where everything would remind him of the evening he should have had, and distract him with some pastries. Before he could so much as suggest leaving though, Sam found his courage and started his aborted sentence again.
“I hear the food here is spectacular, we should eat, now that we’re here and all.” He was blushing beet red, worse even then when Rosie smiled at him. Frodo can only assume it was caused by the humiliation of going on a date with his friend, because his actual love interest left.
He considered his options.
Frodo could spend a lovely, though probably strained, evening with the love at his life at a romantic restaurant, seeing him blush in the soft glow of the candle, hearing him hum along to the music, and listening to him rave about the food. It sounded wonderful and he yearned for it, longed with his whole heart. But Sam didn’t want this date to be with him, he wanted it with Rosie. On the other hand, he offered and sounded genuine.
They could also leave. Frodo could get them some pastries, though Margret didn’t like him. She looked at him with apprehension and warned anyone who would listen that he was the adventurous type. But she adored Sam, which wasn’t fair but understandable, because it wasn’t possible not to adore him. Margret made the absolute best pastries, renowned in all the shire for them and her well-guarded secret recipe. He would of course have to keep Sam occupied somehow, but he was reasonably confident that, if he asked nicely - begged maybe - and told her it’s to cheer Sam up, she could be convinced to let him have some. Frodo would owe her though, much he feared. But Sam’s happy expression would be worth it - Sam’s happiness was worth everything.
In the end, it wasn’t a difficult decision to make. If Frodo had the choice to keep sitting here, comfortable, warm, certain of a good meal and with Sam - he would be a fool to reject that.
“I would love nothing more, Sam.”
***
Frodo had been awake for half an hour, securely held in Sam’s arms, pressed to his chest, their faces torturous close together. He could feel Sam’s deep and even breath on his face, count his dark eyelashes, trace constellations in his endless freckles. There was no question about it, Sam was beautiful. Maybe not elven beauty of perfection and elegance, but beautiful nonetheless.
Waking up to find Sam still sleeping had quickly become habit. Frodo would patiently wait, taking the opportunity to stare and admire all he wanted, without the risk of getting caught and being asked hard to answer questions. But he had been staring at Sam for over a week now, no one the wiser and nothing bad happening.
It felt terrible. Like he was taking advantage of Sam’s ignorance, invading his privacy, and getting away with it. There he lay, gazing at Sam, wishing he didn’t have to restrict those moments to early mornings and late evenings; wishing that Sam would look at him the same way. This has gotten too far, watching Sam during the day -like any other hobbit might, when he is conscious and aware of others seeing him- is something completely different to creepily absorbing every detail of his face while he sleeps, unaware and vulnerable.
And Frodo considered himself a friend! Wouldn’t a true friend tell him? Not keep exploiting Sam’s trust, but tell him the horrible truth? It was agonising to think about, those thoughts slowly creeping in and investing every peaceful moment Frodo found, like vermin crawling through the smallest cracks and up the highest walls.
The simple answer would be to stop watching Sam in his sleep; to go back to merely looking at him over the day. Go back to what he could justify. But now that he had found this - how could he possibly give it up? That might just be the worst thing; that Frodo knew it was wrong and was too weak to stop, to restrain himself.
That only left telling Sam. Even if Sam would hate him, would cut all ties to him, and Frodo would only see him per chance. Even if that meant Sam would leave.
It would be better for him; Sam deserved a friend who didn’t stare him when he slept, who didn’t hate his partner out of petty jealousy. It would probably destroy Frodo, to see him go, but what did it matter anymore, if Sam wasn’t there?
Frodo was ripped out of his dark musings by Sam waking up. “It’s a sunny morning Mr. Frodo, what makes you look so grim?”
He looked soft and warm, still sleepy - Frodo couldn’t help himself. If he was going to tell Sam, lose all of this, he might as well might it count.
He surged forward, closed the space between their faces and pressed a kiss to Sam’s lips. Sam let out a surprised little noise, but he didn’t move away. Encouraged by that, Frodo brought the unbound hand up to his face, feeling the smooth skin and moving it up in his hair, tangling it into his curls. Sam’s lips were soft against his, maybe even kissing him back, but that might be wishful thinking. His hair felt wonderful in his grasp, smooth and perfect to bury his hands in. Frodo never wanted this to stop.
When he eventually had to move back for air, reality came crashing into the world he had built for himself. This wasn’t how things usually went; he never woke Sam with a kiss, and after this? He never would again. Even this was already too much - too much that he’d taken from Sam - without consent or consideration for his feelings. It was selfish and terrible and he would do it again in a heartbeat and without hesitation, no matter the costs. That, Frodo knew with absolute, horrifying certainty - was too good to give up.
He didn’t dare open his eyes to see Sam’s betrayed look, maybe even disgust; didn’t dare breathe after the initial gasp for air, for fear of breaking the silence, of starting Sam on those curses and yells he must be bursting to throw at him; didn’t dare move lest Sam realised how they were still laying close enough to feel each-others beating hearts, and moved away as far as possible. It was inevitable, all of it, but Frodo sought to postpone it anyway.
It was impossibly still in the room, the silence pressing down on him, neither of them moving, both waiting for the other to break first.
Finally Sam moved, bringing his free hand up to his face. For one crazed moment, Frodo thought he would strike him. But Sam didn’t, he gently cupped his face, his hand heavy and warm on Frodo’s cheek. Startled by the affectionate touch, Frodo opened his eyes. Sam looked at him with what could only be described as love, and yet couldn’t possibly be love, not after what Frodo just did.
“Oh Mr. Frodo, that is no reason to look all grim and maudlin.” He was smiling at him, bright and warm like the sunlight and Frodo couldn’t believe it. That was not supposed to happen. He had wanted it to happen, but things almost never turned out the way he wanted them to. So all he could do was just stare at Sam, who was still smiling, patient and fond, and stroking his cheekbone with his thumb. Then he kissed Frodo.
And suddenly it made all perfect sense, because Sam was kissing him and things were exactly like they were supposed to be. He was faintly aware that it didn’t make sense at all, that Sam shouldn’t be kissing him, but he was too occupied kissing back to dedicate much thought to it. It didn’t matter anyway, not with Sam making those sounds and pulling him closer.
***
“So how is that bond going, still trying to break it?” Pippin was grinning at them, the question making Merry choke on his drink. Those two had been far too pleased with themselves for their little prank, enquiring after the status of the bond any chance they got and breaking into laughter when they were told they were still stuck. Frodo didn’t see the appeal; it surely wasn’t that hilarious - no one else thought it funny. But they just smirked and changed the topic when he asked them about it. Now though, now he could finally stun them into silence.
They were both looking at him expectantly, giddy, like children receiving presents with an extra note of mischief. Frodo smiled broadly, noting with satisfaction the first flicker of doubt in their identical expressions.
“It’s going well, thank you for asking. It fell off this morning, just like that. We decided to retie it, to honour the courtship traditions.” Seeing their gobsmacked faces and hearing their spluttering filled Frodo with more glee than was probably appropriate. He had no desire to keep it concealed though, laughing in their faces and kissing Sam on the cheek, leaning closer into him.
He looked down at the rope binding them, fonder now that it was a voluntary and conscious gesture, proclaiming their new-found relationship for all who could recognise it. Sam had explained it to him, when the rope had suddenly come loose, how it was an old tradition that had fallen out of fashion. Frodo could only assume that the rope had some magic infused, giving it a mind of its own and forcing the tradition on them until they both accepted it to be the truth. At which point it had fallen away, leaving both of them feeling strange and missing it. The mysteries of elven craft were immeasurable. After Sam told him how he had always like the tradition and had dreamed of doing it someday, Frodo had suggested they re-bind themselves. He’d mostly said it to see Sam’s eyes light up in that way they do when he is especially excited about something, but the thought of being ‘free’ of Sam, now that they had finally found each other, didn’t sit well with Frodo.
It was Merry who recovered first, shutting his mouth and nodding primly. “Of course, as was the plan all along. Obviously not exactly the plan, we didn’t know the rope would be quite this supportive, but it worked out fine, didn’t it?”
“What do you mean, as was the plan all along?” Frodo had intended to sound sharper, angrier, but he was content and lazy, with Sam so close and at liberty to touch and stare to his heart’s desire.
“Ah you see, Merry and I, we thought you were taking too long and could use some help. So we bound you together. It was getting too depressing to watch you dance around each other. Rather brilliant of us, wasn’t it? To thank us, you should buy the next round, I think.” To underline his words, he emptied his mug with one deep swallow, thumping it heavily on the table. Merry followed suit, all too happy to accept that form of payment.
Frodo stared at them. They had planned this? Had he really been this obvious in his affections that even they had noticed? Before he could start worrying about it, his thoughts were interrupted by Rosie, firmly placing two new mugs in front of them. Frodo hadn’t known what to expect from her, didn’t think too much on it if he was being honest, but it certainly wasn’t a sincere smile.
“I hear congratulations are in order. You make a lovely couple, I am truly happy for the both of you.” And with that she was gone again. Frodo stared after her, feeling very bad for thinking ill of her.
Before he could dwell on her easy acceptance of how completely things had changed in such a short time, his attention was caught by Merry loudly and exuberantly proposing a toast to them. Maybe he really did owe his friends thanks. On his own he never would have gotten this, Sam sitting close to him, muffling his laughter in his hair, hands bound together and looking forward to a lifetime spent together.
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she-who-fights-and-writes · 6 years ago
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She-who-fights-and-writes Top 5 Book Recs 2019!!
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Here are my top five books/book series that I think EVERYONE should read or at least try to read in their lifetime!! No matter their standing on this list, I love every single one of these books with my whole heart!!!!!
5. Pet Sematary by Stephen King (Genre: Horror)
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Back cover:
When Dr. Louis Creed takes a new job and moves his family to the idyllic rural town of Ludlow, Maine, this new beginning seems too good to be true. Despite Ludlow’s tranquility, an undercurrent of danger exists here. Those trucks on the road outside the Creed’s beautiful old home travel by just a little too quickly, for one thing…as is evidenced by the makeshift graveyard in the nearby woods where generations of children have buried their beloved pets. Then there are the warnings to Louis both real and from the depths of his nightmares that he should not venture beyond the borders of this little graveyard where another burial ground lures with seductive promises and ungodly temptations. A blood-chilling truth is hidden there—one more terrifying than death itself, and hideously more powerful. As Louis is about to discover for himself sometimes, dead is better…
I didn’t sleep for two days after finishing this book. I had to read it in the morning, never at night, and couldn’t put it down whenever I picked it up. However, this book is really a testament to Stephen King’s reputation as the dominator of the horror/suspense genre of fiction.
Beautifully descriptive and creepy, it gives a shocking new perspective of the consequences of playing God. With a very much flawed and very much human main character, along with a gripping story that raises the hairs on the back of your neck, Pet Semetary is the perfect book to read when you’re feeling a flare for the supernatural. 
4. The Lunar Chronicles by Marissa Meyer (Genre: Sci-Fi)
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Back cover of Cinder:
CINDER, a gifted mechanic in New Beijing, is also a cyborg. She's reviled by her stepmother and blamed for her stepsister's sudden illness. But when her life becomes entwined with the handsome Prince Kai's, she finds herself at the centre of a violent struggle between the desires of an evil queen - and a dangerous temptation. Cinder is caught between duty and freedom, loyalty and betrayal. Now she must uncover secrets about her mysterious past in order to protect Earth's future. This is not the fairytale you remember. But it's one you won't forget.
These books broke me out of a serious book hangover (caused by the #1 series on this list) and made me realize “Wait, there are other books in this world that can be enjoyed besides this series.”
Funny and captivating, this book puts an interesting twist on classic fairytales. Instead of being the kind of twist where everything is unnecessarily gory and dark, this puts a futuristic spin on the classic stories that we all know and love.
The characters are amazing and very diverse, and although the stories are similar to the Grimm’s fairy tales, they’re a whole new ballpark plot-wise that keeps you on the edge of your seat!
3. In Order to Live by Yeonmi Park (Genre: Memoir)
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Back cover:
“I am most grateful for two things: that I was born in North Korea, and that I escaped from North Korea.”
Still in her early twenties, Yeonmi Park has lived through experiences that few people of any age will ever know--and from which most would never recover. At age thirteen, together with her mother, she made a harrowing escape from brutal conditions in North Korea. Two years later, they reached South Korea and freedom. But the devestating journey in between cost Park her childhood and nearly her life. As she writes, “I convinced myself that a lot of what I had experienced never happened. I taught myself to forget the rest.”
In In Order to Live, Park sines light not just into the darkest corners of life in North Korea, describing the deprivation and deception she endured and that millions of North Korean people continue to endure to this day, but also onto her own most painful and difficult memories. She tells with bravery and dignity for the first time the story of how she and her mother were betrayed and sold into sexual slavery in China and forced to suffer terrible psychological and physical hardship.
Park confronts her past with a startling resilience. In spite of everything, she has never stopped being proud of where she is from, and never stopped striving for a better life. Today she is a human rights activist working determinedly to bring attention to the oppression taking place in her home country. Park’s testimony is rare, edifying, and terribly important, and the story she tells in In Order to Live is heartbreaking and unimaginable but never without hope.
This book changed my life. 
Riveting, beautiful, and at heartbreaking, it really made me appreciate what I have in life and made me more aware of things that are currently happening in the world as we speak.
I think that no one should be able to talk about North Korea and about how it’s not a big deal that we help the people there until they read this book.
Truly an amazing and unbelievable story.
2. The Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller (Genre: Fantasy)
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Back cover:
Achilles, "the best of all the Greeks," son of the cruel sea goddess Thetis and the legendary king Peleus, is strong, swift, and beautiful— irresistible to all who meet him. Patroclus is an awkward young prince, exiled from his homeland after an act of shocking violence. Brought together by chance, they forge an inseparable bond, despite risking the gods' wrath.
They are trained by the centaur Chiron in the arts of war and medicine, but when word comes that Helen of Sparta has been kidnapped, all the heroes of Greece are called upon to lay siege to Troy in her name. Seduced by the promise of a glorious destiny, Achilles joins their cause, and torn between love and fear for his friend, Patroclus follows. Little do they know that the cruel Fates will test them both as never before and demand a terrible sacrifice.
A phenomenally written and emotional re-telling of the classic Greek epic the Iliad that delves into the romantic relationship between Achilles and Patroclus.
Madeline Miller truly has an undeniable god-given talent for writing; her descriptions and storytelling makes for a book that you CANNOT put down once you’ve picked it up.
I read this book in a day and had a serious, serious book hangover afterward; I literally could NOT stop thinking about it for days. It just sticks with you, you know?
Me and my mom both wept over this book; it is truly a triumph and a masterpiece.
1. The Grishaverse by Leigh Bardugo (Genre: Fantasy)
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Back cover of Shadow and Bone, first book in The Grisha Trilogy:
Soldier. Summoner. Saint. Orphaned and expendable, Alina Starkov is a soldier who knows she may not survive her first trek across the Shadow Fold―a swath of unnatural darkness crawling with monsters. But when her regiment is attacked, Alina unleashes dormant magic not even she knew she possessed.
Now Alina will enter a lavish world of royalty and intrigue as she trains with the Grisha, her country’s magical military elite―and falls under the spell of their notorious leader, the Darkling. He believes Alina can summon a force capable of destroying the Shadow Fold and reuniting their war-ravaged country, but only if she can master her untamed gift.
As the threat to the kingdom mounts and Alina unlocks the secrets of her past, she will make a dangerous discovery that could threaten all she loves and the very future of a nation.
Welcome to Ravka . . . a world of science and superstition where nothing is what it seems.
Back cover of Six of Crows, first book in the Six of Crows Duology:
Ketterdam: a bustling hub of international trade where anything can be had for the right price―and no one knows that better than criminal prodigy Kaz Brekker. Kaz is offered a chance at a deadly heist that could make him rich beyond his wildest dreams. But he can't pull it off alone. . . .
A convict with a thirst for revenge. A sharpshooter who can't walk away from a wager. A runaway with a privileged past. A spy known as the Wraith. A Heartrender using her magic to survive the slums. A thief with a gift for unlikely escapes.
Six dangerous outcasts. One impossible heist. Kaz's crew is the only thing that might stand between the world and destruction―if they don't kill each other first.
The Grishaverse is a group of series that are all set within the same universe where magic runs wild and the world-building-- from the culture of each country to the unique landscapes--is so phenomenal that you almost wish you could jump right into the book like Blue’s Clues and live there forever.
Leigh Bardugo is my favorite author of all time.
Her writing is beyond any other tier that I have every had the pleasure to read, to the point where I couldn’t read any other books for a good year after finishing the Six of Crows Duology because it set my standards so high for YA fantasy.
There are many books within the Grishaverse-- including the Grisha Trilogy, the Six of Crows Duology, the King of Scars series, and the Language of Thorns storybook--but you don’t have to have read one series to understand the other.
Personally, I like the Six of Crows Duology better than the Grisha Trilogy; it was written afterward and the writing and storytelling is far more evolved and sophisticated.
But even so, Leigh Bardugo really is an incredible storyteller, so if you can get your hands on any of these books, please do!
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emeraldwaves · 6 years ago
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Title: In Which We Burn Together Angst Week Day 5 Pairing:  Todomomo Rating: M Word Count:  2,846 Read on Ao3 Summary:  
Todoroki Shouto has never believed in soulmates. Why should he? It didn’t work for his parents, so he doesn’t expect it to work for him, especially when he can’t even remember what his now burned off mark looks like.
Full fic under the cut! For @bnha-angst-week !! Day 5 Regret // "Even Now...” Thank you to @its-love-u-asshole for betaing! <3
Shouto took things slow with Momo and it was the way they both enjoyed things. Their first date was casual, enjoying tea together in a small cafe by U.A.
Their first kiss was a few months later, when Shouto finally worked up the courage to ask if it was okay.
For a long while, this was fine. After their dramatic first year, it was nice to relatively normal second year. Shouto spent most of his time training, both alone and with Momo. They often had study dates in the library too.
Occasionally he would sneak into her dorm bedroom after hours to share her bed. Just for sleeping purposes of course. They never took things beyond kissing and a little extra touching, but Shouto found he slept better with his arms wrapped gently around her, his nose buried against her flowing dark hair.
Admittedly, he did want to be her first in that way, and as their third year crept closer and closer, the desire grew stronger. Yet he always hesitated, not wanting to find out the inevitable truth. Sex was the only way they would know if they were actually soulmates, and if their soulmarks didn't conjoin, Shouto wouldn't be surprised.
He shouldn't be allowed someone as beautiful and as perfect as Yaoyorozu Momo.
He still hadn't seen her soulmark, and he didn't care to ask. It wouldn't matter to him, since he had no recollection of what his was, and to her, she always claimed soulmates didn't matter.
But the longer time went on, the more Shouto started to wonder.
She still nervously played with her wristband all the time, her finger slipping underneath the band as she rubbed against her skin. Eventually she would find them, wouldn't she? The person she was actually meant to be with...
"Are you okay, Shouto-kun?" Momo asked as they sat in the library studying for their first third year exams.
"Eh?" he said, his gaze jolting from her wrist to her face. Concern flickered across her dark, beautiful eyes. "What?"
"Are you okay? You were staring at... nothing... pretty intensely," she murmured, her finger curling around the bracelet.
This wasn't the first time she caught him staring at her wrist, though neither of them ever said anything. Over the course of the year and a half they had been together, Shouto never once discussed the idea of soulmates again, not after the time he showed her his burn scar. "Sorry... I was thinking about how we're almost third years," he said, casually diverting the subject.
Immediately, Momo perked up; she clapped her hands together, her dark eyes sparkling. "I know! Can you believe school has gone by so fast? Soon we'll be pro heroes!" she giggled, her excitement radiating from her aura.
Shouto blushed, as he normally did when Momo looked so happy. "Yeah..." he said, nodding with her.
She slowly lowered her hands, her brow furrowing. "Shouto-kun," she whispered, reaching forward to take his hands in hers. He always felt safe when she was around, her hands clutching his. Even when they faced some of the most intense villains, he never once doubted her or her abilities. They were a team and in many ways...
...he loved her.
He wanted to be the first to say that to her. However... he knew he didn't deserve to. Even now, after all this time with her, he couldn't help but wonder what would happen when she found her soulmate. Her parents weren't soulmates, yes, but wouldn't it be different when she actually found hers?
"Hm?" he mumbled, blinking when she turned away from him.
"You seem... sad?" she blinked, her eyes so gentle. Why was she so incredibly perfect? She always read him like a damn book.
"No." He shook his head. "I'm fine. Just thinking about these tests."
Her thumbs brushed over his fingers. "You know, it's okay to feel sad about us graduating. We've made so many wonderful memories here. I know we still have time, but... I am already feeling a little nostalgic."
"Yeah..." he muttered. He was feeling sad, but not for the reason she thought.
"It is exciting to be heading into the world of the pros, but... also a little terrifying!" she giggled. She was far more nervous than she was letting on, Shouto knew her well enough to know that. He could imagine her mind was probably moving at rapid speed.
He tried to stop his hand from trembling as he raised her fingers to his lips. "You're going to be amazing."
"A-Ah... S-Shouto-kun!" she blushed, and he loved that he could still get her so flustered even after all this time.
His love for her weighed heavy on his heart. Regret coursed through his veins... he could never tell her... It would hurt too much when the inevitable happened.
Once they were done with school, he would have to let her go. He couldn't keep up this facade and the longer he waited the harder it would be.
It had only been a little over a year and he never wanted to let her go. The selfish part of him wanted to keep her anyway. Maybe he could have her until she found her soulmate, or maybe she would find that person and not care because she loved him too and-
No... he had to stop.
It was then he made his decision. After graduation, he would set her free.
~~
Their third year seemed to fly by faster than their second. Between classes, training, and work studies, many of their classmates were incredibly busy, and Shouto felt as if he would never slow down.
He spent as much time as he could with Momo, oftentimes the two of them spending their nights snuggling in bed. Shouto no longer worried about getting caught in there, since it was the little down time he had with her and he was desperate to cling to every moment as graduation loomed on the horizon.
The closer it drew, the more and more heavy Shouto's heart grew. How could he possibly let the best thing that happened to him go? And yet... he didn't wish to hold her back.
"I'm nervous," she whispered, the night before the ceremony. Her face was buried in his chest, her long hair cascading down her back.
"Why?" he asked, his fingers brushing over her lower back.
"Because... so many people will be watching tomorrow!" she squeaked softly. "Iida-san is much better at this than me."
"Mm... I don't know about that," Shouto chuckled, kissing the top of her head. "You've already written your speech and it sounds amazing."
"Written... and rewritten and rewritten again," she mumbled.
"I told you it was perfect."
"I-I know!" she said. "I just... our class means so much to more than just us... everyone is looking to us to be the new generation and I... I want to do a good job." Her dark eyes shimmered with nerves and excitement... and Shouto had never seen anything so damn pure.
"You're going to do amazing," he said, guilt washing over his body.
Even on barely any sleep, she did deliver the speech incredibly. She was such a strong speaker, though she often thought she wasn't. In fact, Momo was amazing at a lot of things she thought she wasn't, though he was proud of how confident she had grown. She was the strongest person he knew, she worked harder than anyone else, and if anyone deserved to be up on that stage, it was certainly Momo.
He took every word she said in... how she talked about the hardships they endured together as a class. She spoke so openly about her own struggles and how with the help of her friends and teachers she had learned a lot and felt many of them were the same.
"Forever, we will share this bond as classmates and carry it with us wherever we may end up. I hope everyone in this class knows they will always find support among their peers, no matter where we go!" Her gaze turned towards Shouto, her dark eyes twinkling with hope for the future.
A pang of guilt stabbed Shouto right in the chest.
As she spoke of bonds Shouto felt his wrist ache, as if he wanted to scrape the skin off of his hand and search for the mark that should've been embedded in his skin. He always felt so close to her and soon...
He shook his head, now was not the time to think about it.
After the ceremony, he knew he would have to find his father. Endeavor most likely had plenty to say, but he wanted to see Momo one final time. He wanted to revel in her smile and these happy emotions.
Why was he so selfish when it came to her?
She stood outside on the U.A. grounds, laughing with Jirou and Uraraka. The petals from the cherry blossoms flowed down around her, the pink petals glistening as a backdrop against her dark hair. She was beautiful... and he still loved her. If anything his feelings were only stronger.
"Oh! Todoroki-kun!" Uraraka smiled, waving at him as he approached.
"Hello," he bowed. "Congratulations."
"Hey you too!" Jirou laughed, gently nudging his side. "But lemme guess, you want Yaomomo."
"Ah... uhm..." he stammered, unsure of how to answer such a strong statement.
"K-Kyouka-chan!" Momo blushed.
"It's cool," she grinned, "come on Ochako-chan." She dragged the other girl away, the two of them giggling softly to themselves. They were supposed to be adults now, but some things never changed.
There he stood, alone with Momo, surrounded by the pink blossoms floating over them. "I thought you would be with your father," she said quietly, taking a step towards him. She tentatively reached her hand out, lacing her fingers between Shouto's. Her hands were warm, a little clammy, possibly from her nerves at giving the speech.
"I'm sure he's looking for me," he sighed. "I just... wanted to see you for a moment."
 I love you.
The words hung on the tip of his tongue, and he wanted to blurt them out, but it wasn't fair... not when he knew what would happen in a few days...
"I'm... I'm sorry if I kept staring at you during the speech, it... helped me calm down."
He chuckled. "Your speech was excellent."
"Was it?" she asked. "I thought my voice sounded all... shaky."
"No, no... it was fantastic," he whispered, bringing his hand to her cheek, softly caressing her skin. "I'm proud of you."
"I'm proud of you too, Shouto-kun," she said, wrapping her hand around his wrist, her cheeks raising with her sparkling smile.
 I love you.
The words danced on the tip of his tongue, desperate to blurt them out.
"I..." he muttered, about to speak, his other hand squeezing hers.
"Y-You...?" she said, leaning towards him, her eyes eager.
"I... should probably find my father but... I'll see you later?"
"O-Oh! Of course!"
He tried to hide his sadness as he took his last kiss from her, under the shade of the cherry blossom trees.
~~
A mere two days later it was raining, as if the sky knew what was in Shouto's heart and opened up to cry for him when he couldn't find the tears himself.
He knew he was doing the right thing, but his hand felt hot against the handle of his umbrella.
Shouto sat in a cafe they often frequented on their dates. Water trickled down the window, droplets pooling at the bottom outside, and he recalled how sad Momo looked in the rain. He prayed today she would understand... he couldn't bear to watch her like that... not now... not after how far they had come together.
By now, they had all moved out of the dorms. Some of their classmates moved into apartments together, and some of them already were working, none of them willing to take a break. Shouto would be starting at his father's agency on Monday, and before things got caught in the whirlwind of his adult life... he needed to do this.
He heard her gentle footsteps before he saw her. Her tiny heels clacking against the wooden floor of the cafe. Her hair was pulled back into her signature ponytail, fanning out behind the back of her head and she slowly moved towards him.
Despite the rain, there was a smile on her face, especially when he came into view, and already his heart felt heavy. She folded her umbrella up, taking a seat across from him.
"Morning," she smiled, but quickly froze. "What's wrong?"
Was it that obvious? Perhaps he wasn't as subtle as he thought…
"Momo... I..."
"Shouto-kun," she whispered, her hand trembling as she wrapped her fingers around his. "You can tell me... you know you can always tell me."
How could he tell her this though?
"I just..."
Shouto lifted his gaze to look at her beautiful dark eyes. They were staring at him with such concern. He didn't deserve her... she could do so much better. She would be so much happier with her soulmate; the person who eventually would be everything she needed and more.
He told himself so many times he didn’t want to believe in soulmates, and yet here he was assuming she needed hers.
But keeping her felt so selfish.
"What?" she said, her soft thumb brushing over his skin. "What's wrong?"
There was so much wrong... saying goodbye, breaking things off... it felt so wrong. No matter what she claimed about soulmates... how she felt about her own parents or how he felt about his... he couldn't keep clinging to her for his own needs.
Besides, once they started getting any spotlight, the press would be all over them, asking who their soulmates were... and if Shouto and Momo were together and unbonded... well... he knew how that would look.
He couldn't put her through that pain.
"We should... end this."
His voice didn't sound like his own and his wrist burned, as painful as the day his mother scarred him.
He heard her breathing grow heavy, his eyes unable to meet hers. Her hand squeezed his hard. "W-What?" she gasped. "I-I don't... understand-"
He continued to speak, the words sounding rehearsed. "You're going to be busy and I'm going to be busy and we both need to focus on our career as heroes and the media-"
"That's... but we can do that together!" she said.
"We shouldn't..."
"Shouto, I-I don't... understand..." she continued, her voice trembling. She was crying, he could practically hear the tears rolling down her cheek.
"It's for the best-"
"Is it?" she whispered and pulled her hand away from his. "You... can't even look at me."
He bit his lip and slowly raised his gaze. She was crying, but her eyes were filled with confusion.
"I'm sorry..."
"Is this your father? Did he do something?" she asked, shaking her head back and forth. He wanted to laugh. It wasn't a horrible guess...
"No. I decided this..."
"For you. For us?" she said. The lump in his own throat grew larger.
"Yes... I know how much this means to you, to both of us-"
"But you obviously don't know how much you mean to me," she said, cutting him off.
It made him stumble. He hadn't expected her to say something like that...
 I love you...
"Momo... please..."
I love you, I love you, I love you! The words echoed in his heart, desperate to come out.
"Please what?" she said, her finger slipping under her tiny wrist band. She knew. Of course she knew... but it was something they never spoke about. "You're not telling me why you're doing this. A few days ago you kissed me after graduation and now..."
"We need to focus on what's really important," he snapped, and he could tell the words cut deep. Her eyes widened first, then began to tremble, tears pooling in them.
"...Right..." She stood up quickly, her hand shaking as she grabbed her umbrella. She tugged on her wristband one final time. "You know I... I never cared... about..." she trailed off, and shook her head, as if it was a silly thing for her to bring up. "I'm sorry for... for wasting your time."
"No... Momo, I-" he began but she was already walking out of the cafe. She didn't put her umbrella up, her dark hair trailing behind her as she ran out into the rain.
He probably should've chased her after her... explained himself more... or held her close and begged for her forgiveness. How stupid was he for giving into his deep, internal fears? He would regret not going after her, he could already feel it in his bones. His wrist still ached, the pain dull compared to the pain in his heart.
He would regret a lot of things, he thought. In fact, he already did.
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selkie-elf · 6 years ago
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Crying, Taz:Balance and Critical Role
Content warning: Discussion of Death, both in fiction and in real life. 
Spoilers for both Critical role season 2 and The Balance arc of The Adventure Zone
Those who know me, know that I cry a lot. Like a lot a lot.  Sad, angry or happy, crying is usually my go to reaction.
And of course both the stories of Taz: balance and the story of Mighty Nein are both full of emotional moments, and I have cried a lot while listening to both stories.  So have my rambly, mini essay about how these stories make me cry.  These are just personal feelings, and the way you might feel while listening to these stories might differ from mine. And that is super valid. 
Note: I have not listened to the story of Vox Machina yet, so I have no idea how I would cry while listening to that story.  
While listening to The Adventure Zone, I usually cry warm tears. Those kinds that you can also feel in your gut. They hurt for a moment but also offer immense comfort in the end. The kind of tears you shed when you meet a long gone friend after a while and just know that they are here now.  Tears you shed when you... when you know that things are bad now, but things will get better.  The warm tears  fill the cold feeling of hopelessness. It's not the best way it can be filled, but it is not the worst way either. Someone promises that there is at least a small chance that things might get better. There is not a lot that needs to be done to get me crying over taz. Just a small musical cue can be enough. And usually it is. Heck i'm listening to the Story and Song ost right now and crying. Crying while listening to taz feels like you are part of the story, seeing it all happen as a bystander. And you just can't help but to let that warm tear roll down your cheek.
You cry when you feel happy, you cry when you are sad. You listen to a scene while holding your breath and crying tears of sorrow, when suddenly Justin says something funny. And suddenly you are in a way crying of both joy and sadness at the same time. And I mean, there are worse feelings in the world. Crying over a small moment because of a funny joke you hear at the funeral is sometimes okay.
There are so many tears to be cried over Taz Balance. And crying over taz has also helped me through a lot hardships through my life. I have had the chance to cry through taz, when I have not wanted to cry over sad things in my own life.   Last year, my grandmother died. And every time before we would visit her in the hospital, I would listen to the song “Chalice”. So that when seeing my grandmother lying in the bed, barely recognizing me anymore, I could bullshit myself by saying that I cried because the sad song I had listened to. And what scenes that song brought to my mind.  But you know that song in the end gets more powerful? That ending always gave me power to get through those hospital visits. It is the promise of hope. the someone saying “You are strong. You can survive it.”
After she died there has been two occasions I have listened to that song. Before the opening night of a play I was playing a role in. A play I would have wanted her to see. And now, while writing this essay. 
Critical Role is a story you hear. A story filled with many amazing scenes of comfort, love and friendship. But also heartbreak and death.  There is a lot of death. While listening to taz I shed most of my tears to the npcs and to their fates. In critical role, you get so invested in the main characters, sometimes npcs might not seem that important. But then something happens and you are just overcome with emotion, for a small halfling boy who sees that her mother is not dead. Emotion in Critical role is ... realistic. A story you listen to someone tell to you.  You pay attention to every word. And you are a bit afraid to cry when listening to it. But then the storyteller says something and you find that you can't focus your eyes on them anymore. They are misty and you feel a shiver running down your spine, as you can't no longer hold that emotion in. Like the moment you hear that a loved has passed, but you are at work and just possibly can’t cry right now. So you decide to “handle these emotions later”. You might have a chance to cry for a moment, but after that you have to endure rest of the day. It's a strong feeling but it doesn't set in immediately. Sometimes you realize to mourn even days or months later.
It's like this cold feeling of the emotion hitting. Kind of like your tears are an icicle. And it takes time for the icicle to melt and for the tears to come.It's a heavy feeling, until you can let it out. But kind of like Yasha, sometimes people want to keep that feeling there, cause at least that is a reminder of the one who passed and without that weight in your gut, you are afraid that you will forget them   You wipe your eyes and let the emotion come. Tears are cold, full of uncertainty. The tears you shed when you hear  a sad story, when you are part of a sad story.  And you don't know the ending yet. You are not sure if the tears shed right now are for comfort, to fill some space or just,, an reaction to everything that is going on. Unlike Taz tears, they don't overwhelm you at the moment, you can shrug them off for a moment. But you end up thinking back to that moment again sometime in the future. And maybe just then realizing the weight of the situation.
While you know that Taz has an happy ending, there is no way of knowing ho the story of the Mighty Nein is going to end. And that's why at least for me, I still find it hard to cry the warm tears while listening to the Critical role. But not one kind of cry is better than the other. Both are important and part of life. You need to cry. And there is no wrong way to cry while listening to these stories.
Thank you for reading.  Everyone sees these stories differently and reacts differently. While I might not cry over a scene you do, does not make your feelings any less valid. 
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storiesofwildfire · 7 years ago
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I have to admit and agree there is something about the child literally being physically part a part of you. It creates a bond through responsibility and through the realisation that there is life in you that is a part of you, therefore I can imagine Loki wanting to experience it even though his previous carrying as trauma connected to them. Where it can be stressful what comes of it is definitely worth it.
It may be the reason why psychologically/emotionally women can bond with their child very strongly, and why abortion, giving to adoption, or surrogacy can be extremely difficult. 
And I very much imagine Loki being very strongly bonding emotionally.
In the end mother and father are merely sex specified titles, what sort of a parent you become depends on you (and unfortunately in some cases on your partner). The general idea that mothers are more tightly bonded with children is because they carry them and for ages women stayed home with them as fathers worked, but as many have learned that is not the case in real life anymore.
Just to make it short, I bet all my money Loki is an amazing Parent
Loki is absolutely an amazing parent regardless of if he personally carries the child or not. at the very least, I think he is. 
Loki may disagree with me a little bit because of the history of things that have happened to his children. 
Loki looks back on Sleipnir becoming Odin’s personal war steed to ride off into battle and he feels a tremendous amount of guilt for the fate that befell him. Loki openly spoke out against Odin using Sleipnir as such, but Sleipnir intervened and said he would do it. If being Odin’s war steed could bring some honor to the House of Loki and, ultimately, to the House of Odin after the somewhat disgraceful circumstances that made Sleipnir possible, he was willing to do that for his mother. Loki hated it though, watching Odin treat him like a dumb animal when, really, he was just as intelligent as a person.
Loki looks back on the triplets, Hel, Jörmungandr, and Fenrir, and he feels even more guilty over what happened to them. Because they were born in what many people considered to be monstrous forms, Loki used magic to give them Aesir forms as children, to help them better fit in with their peers. He wanted them to have normal lives, or at the very least, what he could pass as normal.
But despite all of Loki’s best efforts to raise them right and have them accepted by the Aesir, no one ever truly accepted them and Odin eventually took them away from Loki. Hel was banished to Helheim, where she was forced to rule over the realm of the Dead. Jörmungandr was banished to Midgard, forced to live out his days in Midgard’s oceans. Most Asgardians don’t realize that he shape-shifts into a humanoid form on his own so he can live his life on land. And Fenrir? Fenrir got the worst punishment of them all. He wasn’t just banished, he was straight up imprisoned.
All three of them were taken from Loki at an age where children still needed their mother. They were robbed of a proper childhood. Their relationship with the people of Asgard was ruined forever and each of them developed different anger and aggression towards Odin. In Hel’s case, her relationship with Loki suffered too, because she couldn’t get over the hurdle of thinking that her mother hadn’t been there for her when she needed Loki to be there the most.
Loki nearly killed Odin for what he did to his triplets, but he wasn’t strong enough to undo the damage.
And then, of course, the twins that he conceived with Sigyn but never actually had came around a few centuries later.
Loki is a good parent. He will literally do anything for his children. In fact, my verse where Loki takes the throne from Odin at the end of Thor The Dark World and maintaining the throne is actually due to his children. He wants so desperately to protect them that he became king just so he could save them from the horrors that Odin subjected them to. 
He loves his children more than he loves himself and he would gladly die for them if that meant that they get to live, but because of the hardships his children have endured simply for being his children, he often feels like a failure as a parent, because he wasn’t strong enough to protect them and he wasn’t able to give them the happiness and the childhoods that they deserved.
Gods did he try, though, and still continues to try for them. Every damned day.
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ariaricx · 8 years ago
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Why Wonder Woman was so Important to Me
I had the opportunity to see Wonder Woman recently, and I was left awestruck.  Wonder Woman is such a timeless character, and I feel this story and the way the film was made really captured the heart of the original character.  With DC’s track record, it had a high chance of being lazy and bad.  But it wasn't.  It was original. Refreshing. I cried a lot, and here’s why.
1. Women Are Strong 
I’m not one to loudly complain about the misrepresentation of women in media (though we often are).  We’ve had some really awesome and strong female characters over the past couple years.  But somehow, Wonder Woman took this in a completely new direction.  Watching the Amazons fight the invaders on the beach nearly brought me to tears.  It was so special for me to see women take on roles we rarely see them in.  They were the fighters, the protectors, the providers.  There are many women out in the world right now who are fighting their own battles, much like the Amazons.  They’re providing for their families or serving their countries through the military.  It was a pleasant reminder that while men and women have differences, they are equally strong and skilled.
(Also yay for a female director!)
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2. Actions Speak Louder
Many times, Wonder Woman is questioned.  She’s scoffed at for being a women (which would have been very common during that time).  She’s underestimated.  But what’s so amazing here is that she never has to prove herself to the men.  It would’ve been so easy for the movie to fall into that common trope.  She never argues with a man and she focuses her attention on others instead of herself.  She wants to kill Ares and stop the war. And in the end, her actions speak louder then her words ever could.  What I took from this is to rise to action.  Stop talking and start doing.  Ignore what others say, because you know what you can do.  Hold your head high and rise above.
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3. Mutual Respect Brings the Most Success
As I said before, it would have been easy for the film to fall into certain tropes.  A trope we often see nowadays is a woman proving that she (or all women) are better then men.  That’s never a point of conflict in this film.  Her love interest, Steve, fights as her equal.  He isn’t clumsy or weak to make Wonder Woman look stronger.  He believes in her and helps her to the best of his ability. When they become interested in each other romantically, they both hold their own.  They love each other but are not dependent on one another.  We see the rest of the men in their gang react the same way later on.  They all eventually come to love and respect Diana.  It’s a great reminder that feminism is about collaboration and equality, not one gender being better then the other.  We each have something to bring to the table and our differences are what makes us stronger. 
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4. It’s Okay to not be Okay
There’s a really interesting character in Wonder Woman’s gang named Charlie.  He’s supposed to be the world’s top shooter, but time and time again he fails.  He seen some things that have damaged him pretty heavily.  What’s really interesting about this character is that we never see this issue resolved.  He doesn’t have his big “hero moment” where he is suddenly able to shoot and save the day.  This is so much like real life.  We’ve all been hurt, and it’s ok to be damaged.  You have nothing to prove, but your great efforts will help everything to turn out right in the end.  At one point, Charlie even says to Diana “You don’t need me, you’re better of without me.” To this she replies “No, Charlie, if you’re not here, who will sing?” This implies that Charlie is still a valued member of the group, despite his shortcomings.  His friends are able to recognize his other strengths when he cannot.  
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5. There is Much Darkness in the World, But Love Will Save the Day
Not much to say here, as Diana said it all in her own monologue:
“I used to want to save the world, to end war and bring peace to mankind. But then I glimpsed the darkness that lives within their light. I learnt that inside every one of them there will always be both. The choice each must make for themselves - something no hero will ever defeat. And now I know... that only love can truly save the world. So now I stay, I fight, and I give - for the world I know can be. This is my mission now, for ever.”
Often times love is portrayed as a great weakness. But it isn’t.  To love is to truly see beauty in the world.  To love is to be brave and strong.  Love is the greatest power of all.  
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Additional Notes:
We must learn to forgive.  Diana had the opportunity to kill the chemist responsible for Steve’s death.  And she chose not too, instead focusing on the larger problem at hand and in turn leaving the past in the past.
There were not gratuitous or sexualized shots of the women in the film.  The framing was based around the action.  The women were all beautiful, but the film relied on it’s story and the strength of it’s lead rather then her beauty. 
There will always be hardship. There isn’t always one bad guy to fight.  We all will have to continue to fight our demons and endure through our trials.  But it’s the light and the love, those precious moments, that we fight for.
Thanks Wonder Woman.  You inspired me, and I’m so grateful.  I don’t think I’ve seen a superhero movie with more heart.  There will be many days ahead where I think “What would Wonder Woman do?” 
*I may edit and add on to more of this at a later time, but I wanted to get my initial thoughts out!
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ask-soft-nam · 7 years ago
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Heya, hope youre doing ok. Well theres a few things. 1st off my dads death day is coming up and idk how to handle it. 2 is that i havent been over to my best friends house in a while and she hasnt been talking to me as much and hanging out with other people. I mean shes allowed to have friends and all but its been alnost 3 months i think. Ive been having mwga depression lately too. Overall really wanna commit suicide, but I have ways to stand life 💞
Hello,thank you for sharing so much about yourself, it means a lot to me. These areall very serious topics and it makes me a bit nervous because finding the rightwords is hard sometimes but I’m going to try my best to share what I thinkabout it with you.
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When yourdad’s death day is coming closer, it must make it even harder for you… I don’tshare this pain with you but I know someone who lost one of their parents too,and life goes on year after year, but when the day comes around again it alwaysbrings lots of memories back… You didn’t tell if it was a long time ago or notand I don’t know how close you were… but what I want to say to you is that:it’s hard, truly hard, and you have the right to feel sad. I just hope you’vegot someone you can share the sadness with… When it comes to losing a dear one,there is no “one reaction” or “one solution” to this, everyone endure it theirway. That’s why I don’t really know what to say, because some advice might seemstupid or hurtful for you… But I’m still going to try with the little I know… Ido believe that it will become a bit easier to deal with the pain each year,not because you won’t think about it anymore but because after some time youwill mainly try to remember what you got to share with him. You had the chanceto know him and love him and I’m sure you brought him great joy and made hislife even better just by being by his side. Sadly we cannot bring back thosewho left, but we can continue to cherish the memories we shared, remember themand think about the times when they laughed thanks to us or when they made us laugh…and this is very precious. Death scares me in fact… so I try to think aboutlife as much as I can, and what I’d like to say is that you should never forbidyourself to be happy and you should try and find people that will help you,little by little, to find who you are, to become stronger, to find yourhappiness. People that will make you laugh and think that life is worth living.I also do believe that by making others happy we can become happy. We cannot goback in time so trying our best in the moment is all we can do: making othershappy so that they will also believe that living can be a wonderful thing andso that we won’t have regrets.
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I guesstalking about this bring me to your second point concerning your best friend.This is something I can relate to. I say you need to find people that make youfeel good and bring you happiness because I am someone that needs others tosmile. If you see them as your best friend I do believe it is because theybrought you that joy I’m talking about. It saddened me a lot to learn that youfeel as if they are drifting away from you… 3 months is a long time and Iunderstand that seeing them hang out with others makes you feel bad. Friendshipis something that must come from both way, you need to feel loved if you givelove to somebody else for it to be positive. And I’m not saying they don’t loveyou.
I talkedabout it a bit before but I can be very jealous of Hoseok when I see howYoongi’s with him or when they hang out without me sometimes. It’s not becauseI don’t want them to do that, it’s just that it makes me feel as if I didn’tcount as much and I believe you might be feeling the same way in a sense.
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I imagineyou both are very close and if that’s the case, I would recommend you to tellthem all this: that you miss them, that you feel alone without them and wouldlike to hang out with them at home like you used to. Sometimes the pain comesfrom a lack of communication because we are scared to tell others what we trulyfeel, that being because it makes us feel vulnerable or because we are scaredthey will not feel the same. I’m someone who thinks that telling what you feelis not a sign of weakness but makes you the strong one instead: that’s why Ithink that maybe you should try to tell them what piled up in your heart.Sometimes even just telling all those hidden feelings makes it a bit better initself. But most importantly it will allow you two to start a conversation; youwill be able to see how they feel, what they have been thinking about, how theywant to resolve it… And, I hope, it will allow you to feel once again how youused to feel in this friendship: loved and important. What if it doesn’t work out?That’s always what we are always scared about… But then again, it would have come tothe same result slowly even if you didn’t said anything so talking about itcould spare you months of doubt and pain… Losing a friend, your best friend, isone of the worst feeling there is… But having a friend who truly cares is whatis important. And I don’t think you will lose your friend, I do believe theylove you and will want to make things better between you. But if it becomes toohard on you, know that I will always be here, that I’ll be your friend, that Iwill always listen to you, try to help you and give you love no matter whathappens. Because you deserve love and care, you deserve someone to hold youwhile you’re sad and someone to share your silence with when you feel bad.
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And youbrought out suicide… I’m sacred to talk about it because I feel like I’m reallynot educated enough and it is a very sensible matter to discuss. But I saidI’ll always try to help so that’s what I’m going to do. I’m going to try. Fromyour message I could see how things were especially hard on you these days, howyou must have been struggling by yourself… And I want to tell you that you’realready very strong for keeping up with it all this time. And I can only wishthat you will continue to hang on and wait for better days to come. I think youfeeling this way is another reason why you need to talk with your best friend:you need them. And you may have others there for you, I don’t really know, soif you do this is even better , you should not have to go through this alone.I’m here, I’ll always be, but sometimes what you really need is a warm embrace,a kind gaze watching over you, someone that would cross town if you neededthem. Your best friend should be there for you.
I know whatI’m going to say may be… I don’t know. But sometimes seeing a professional canalso help: someone that will listen to you and will use their knowledge to helpyou go through your hardship. I think the most important is to find what willwork out for you, and we only find out by trying…
I’m talkinga lot but feel like I didn’t do anything for you and I feel very bad about it…I wish I could make your day just a bit better but I don’t know how to do that,I hope I’d knew you better so that I could give you proper advice…
But,please, try to think about something that made you smile today, something thatmade you feel loved, something that you love. Maybe you have a passion? That’san amazing thing to have no matter what it is (drawing, dancing, loving aband,… it can be anything as long as you love it). If you do, then allow yousome time to focus on it, to do it to your heart content and feel all thehappiness it gives you. You are wonderful, even if you might not feel like itsometimes, and you deserve all the positive emotions life can give. You deservethe world and more. You deserve way more than this text I’m writing right now.
I hope… youfound a bit of what you were looking for in my words. If you ever feel the needto talk to someone, you can always come to me by private messages or another ask and I willanswer you as soon as I can. Because you should never be alone when you feelthis bad and you need to talk.
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Fallen Valkyrie, pt19
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Word Count: 1884 Tags: @outside-the-government @distinguishedqueenofbooks, @anyakinamidala @dirajunara @anotherotter @youdonebeengarthed @auduna-druitt @samaxraph99 @rayleyanns @sistasarah-sallysaidso @feelmyroarrrr @kitchenwitchsuperwhovian @little-study-bug @graysonmalfoy @rampant-salamander @goodnightwife @ha-tep @fantiomaticsupertolkienlover
Midgard, when it was not raining, and muddy, and awash in blood, had a particular beauty that appealed to Eira, down to her very soul. The trees were so tall, and so green, the water was so dark and cold, the air was so fresh with the scent of life. There was little to condemn it. She sat at the edge of the forest, carving an apple into slices. She fed one to Fleygur, and then ate one herself. Even the apples in Midgard were more flavourful than those in Asgard. Eira felt it must have been the reward for having so short a life that the Midgardians got to enjoy such excess. Excess in beauty, excess in flavours, excess in smells. To feel and be around Midgard was a feast for her senses. It was no surprise to her that every living plant on Midgard held a curative property. Silverweed for cleansing, white mynt for stomach troubles, lavendyr for calming and fighting festering wounds, everything had a purpose. Most Midgardians would never know how truly blessed they had been.
Eira crushed some white mynt between her fingers, and inhaled the pungent sweetness. She was constantly amazed at which ingredients immediately had a scent or flavour, while others, particularly the roots, needed more preparation before their special qualities were seen. The honey from the bees on Midgard was so pure it could be smeared on burns and wounds and immediately go to work, but the liquorice root needed boiling before it could be drunk in a tea to bring about a lifting of spirit and joy. She was brought back from her ponderings by a shadow moving across her. She looked up and saw a man approaching, backlit by the sun. Eira slowly moved her hand to her dagger, and abandoned the mint she had been harvesting to roll onto her toes, ready to run if she needed.
“Eira!” It was Thor.
“What are you doing here?” Eira sheathed her dagger, and rose, surprised. He opened his arms and welcomed her into his arms.
“I missed you. I was back to Asgard for more troops, as the truce is yet weak. While they prepared, I had Heimdall search you out for me.” He kissed her gently.
“I would you had more time, you must need to return quickly,” Eira sighed. Thor tugged her braid and smiled.
“No, ‘tis enough. Any more and I might push, and I want to be better than that.” Thor kissed her, cutting her off before she could protest. “You are worth any wait, Eira. Please know. I am not a patient man. You have been put in my path to teach me the value of patience. So now I must learn, and stop pressing my suit.”
“Where has this come from, Thor?” Eira tipped her head to one side, pleased, but not understanding the change.
“Too much mead with Loki. He protects you as a brother would,” Thor laughed. “He has said, and rightly, that should I truly love you, it should be no hardship to wait.”
“I am without words.” Eira had nothing she could say. “How do I know that you are my Thor, and not an illusion brought on by too much sun on this beautiful Midgard day?” She laughed as Thor pulled his tunic up, and showed her the scar on his side.
“You healed me.”
“I should have removed that scar,” Eira laughed again, and reached out.
“No. I would keep it. You saved my life. A reminder is no burden.” Thor dropped his tunic and leaned forward to kiss her. “I must return, and march the force to Svartalfheim. Heimdall!”
The Bifrost opened and in a flash of sparkling colour, pulled Thor back to Asgard. Eira turned back to her plants and went back to work, with a lighter heart, despite the protracted separation she knew she was to endure.
Three months. It had been three months since the day in Midgard, and Thor had yet to sneak away again. Eira was sick with pining. There had been prolonged peace on Midgard, which left her with more time than she cared to mark. She had been studying more about Midgardian healing, but with no one to practice on, even that had lost its appeal. Halla had taken to chasing her out to the stables to keep Fleygur fit, and Eira rode out to Valkyrjahús near daily. Her armour gleamed and was in perfect repair. Her shieldsisters were also at loose ends, unsure what to do with so much peace. She had determined that she would sew a new arming tunic weeks earlier, and was now adding beautiful and elaborate knots around the hems.
“I’ve taken a Midgardian lover,” Kara blurted as she sharpened the tip of her spear again. She always defaulted to sharpening her spear or dagger when she was bored. It was a surprise either of them still held an edge from the abuse she gave them.
“You’ve what?” Eira was shocked, and her voice came out a squeak. She dropped her sewing into her lap, stabbing herself with the bone needle. Brynhildr laughed.
“Midgardians don’t count, Eira. At least, they don’t seem to.” She clapped Eira on the back.
“What if you became with child?” Eira’s horror was evident in the deep whisper of her words.
“I won’t, Eira,” Kara laughed. “There are herbs that prevent it on Midgard. But if I were to fall with child, I am sure his wife would raise it.” Eira gasped in horror.
“Kara!” She couldn’t believe what she was hearing.
“Eira, I live here, in Valkyrjahús. I cannot raise a child. And I couldn’t keep a Midgardian babe here in Asgard. The Allfather would never allow it,” Kara explained. “I wouldn’t be the first, Eira.”
Eira felt a little sick at the thought. Bryn squeezed her shoulder.
“She won’t have a babe, Eira. Do not fret,” she reassured her friend. “Now, tell us how you fare. Has your prince stolen home again since the day on Midgard?”
“No, sadly he has been absent. I so want to storm up to the Allfather and demand an accounting, but as I am not betrothed, it is not my place,” Eira sighed. She buffed the edge of her helm absently. Kara nudged her and waggled her eyebrows.
“Mayhap you need a Midgardian lover too? Oh, or that mighty brute I carried to Valhalla, he was very taken with you, Eira,” Kara teased. Eira laughed and threw her arming tunic at Kara. The women all stilled as they felt a pull in their hearts.
“A battle!” Hrist was the first to her feet. The rest of the shieldmaidens quickly armoured and met for the ride to the Bifrost.
Eira was haunted by her conversation with her shieldsisters as she went through the motions of escorting the honoured dead to Valhalla. She was distracted by her thoughts of Thor, and lovers and wondered if she was wrong to be so frugal with her virtue. She began to think that perhaps she could force Odin’s hand, were she to finally succumb to the temptation of being with Thor. The prolonged wait for Odin to change his mind might be prompted to action were she to give herself to his son. The thought tormented her for the rest of the battle.
By the time she was healing the wounded, her frustration was gnawing at her belly. A soft rain had begun to fall, and not long after she was dripping wet, the lightning started. Eira glanced up at the sky, hopefully, but the lightning seemed completely commonplace. As her eyes passed the treeline though, she saw the silhouette of a large man, a cloak flapping in the wind. She finished the spell on the wounded man and rose, shielding her eyes from the lightning above her with her hand, and squinting into the distance. She just made out the distinctive wings on the man’s helm and her heart leaped in her chest. She ran toward him, dropping her healing bag beside Fleygur. She didn’t stop to confirm it was Thor, she didn’t even slow down, she just threw herself into his arms. He wrapped them around her and pulled her off her feet
“I have been so lost without you,” he murmured and pressed his lips against hers, chastely.
“And I you.” She laid her head against his chestplate. It was uncomfortable, but she drew comfort in the familiarity of the medallions on the armour, and the way they felt, cool against her warm skin. The rain slowed, and the clouds parted, leaving a beautiful afternoon. Healers continued to glean the field for the living.
“I only have this night. When you are finished your healing work, meet me at the lake beyond the trees. I have a meal packed for us, we can watch the sun setting, and you can see how the stars on Midgard differ from our own.” He set her back on her feet carefully. Eira glanced over her shoulder at Fleygur, knowing the warhorse sheilded her spear and shield. She squinted across the field and saw Brynhildr carrying on a conversation with Freya.
“I will meet you. As soon as I can get free,” Eira promised with a quick kiss. Thor disappeared into the trees and Eira made her way to Brynhildr with her shield, spear and helm.
“Sister! Freya and I have been debating. She says that Loki is more handsome, but I say that Thor is. What say you?” Bryn winked, her smile full of mischief. Eira laughed.
“That is hardly a fair comparison!” Eira declared. Freya’s brow furrowed.
“Why not? Are you so partial to Thor than you cannot see Loki’s charms?” Freya demanded. Eira shook her head, laughing.
“On the contrary, Freya. Loki is a dear friend. He is fiercely intelligent, and full of amusements. He is tall, and strong, and handsome. His magic is the greatest I’ve ever seen. It’s not fair because he is my dear friend, but I love his brother,” Eira admitted.
“Can you not love both of them? I could.” Freya’s comment was a promise of seduction, should she get near either man. Bryn watched the exchange with avid interest.
“We may have different idea of love, Freya.” Eira couldn’t help but laugh again. “Loki is my friend, my confidant, my teacher. I love him. As a sister would her favoured brother. But my romantic heart is engaged elsewhere.”
“The hammer counterbalances many flaws, does it not?” Freya teased, her voice rife with innuendo. Eira flushed.
“Thor is good and kind,” she argued weakly. Bryn burst out laughing.
“Oh, Eira, you make him sound like a consolation prize,” she tormented her friend. Eira rolled her eyes.
“Can you please take my helm, and weapons back to Valkyrjahús? I will be late to Valhalla tonight.” Eira changed the subject with an arched eyebrow. Bryn leaned back and appraised her friend, wondering what the secret was that it could not be shared in front of Freya. She finally nodded.
“Of course. Odin protect you on your return,” Brynhildr agreed. Eira dropped her battle pieces, and made her way back to Fleygur. She mounted the war steed and headed into the woods toward the lake and Thor.
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nepaltourismntp · 5 years ago
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Traverse on foot to Catch the Glimpse of Mt. Everest
For the adventure seekers, Everest Base Camp trekking has been always at the top of the checklist. As the highest peak in the world, Mt. Everest has its own charm. Mostly the trekkers take around 10-15 days to reach the base camp depending on the pace. Reaching the base camp is also dependent on how well one acclimatizes with extreme weather conditions. With every changing season, the Himalayas appear different to the spectators. This route is a kind of trial for every international adventure seekers. Since 1953 after Sir Edmund Hillary and Tenzing Norgay summited the peak it has been the dreamland for every traveler.
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Hiking to EBC
Mostly you can reach the EBC in three different ways. As it is located in a pristine location, safety comes firstly in the mind. Firstly one can go for a packaged tour with a registered agency. If one is traveling through the agency, then the latter takes all the initiatives to arrange all the necessary things. You can trek alone with the assistance of a guide. Lastly, you can do it completely along if you are confident enough to traverse. Mostly the trekkers book the EBC tour through any registered agency for hassle-free trekking. In comparison with the other two options it is quite expensive. The most feasible option is to hire porter or guide from Kathmandu and go for a solo trek.
Trek route
This trekking trail lies on one of the best regions of Nepal. The rigorous walking through the rhododendron forests, green hills, glacial lake, cascading waterfalls, beautiful rivers and the first view of the Everest from Kala Patthar will be a breathtaking experience. In this trekking trail, one has to walk across Sagarmatha National Park, listed as the world heritage site by UNESCO. This park offers shelter to many endangered species. On the route, you will be encountering few amazing wildlife creatures. The trekking brings out unique cultural practices to the adventure lovers. On the trail, many trekkers love to stay in the tea house lodges to know more about the ethnic cultural practices of the country. Sherpa is the largest community located in this region. While trekking, one can easily explore their traditional lifestyle. The warm hospitality of the people is another added value for the trekkers.
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Difficulty level of EBC 
Nepal is the country located in the foothills of the Himalayas. One has to be mentally and physically strong enough to complete the trek. It is the highest mountain peak in the world so one has to endure hardships before taking this arduous trip. For 12 days one has to trek for a minimum of 4-8hours at a stretch. One has to carry own backpack on his own. With porters, the trekking becomes easier.
Best time to trek
Mostly it is advisable to avoid monsoon season for its bad weather conditions. As the region is located in the landslide-prone areas, therefore, one can face bad topographical conditions. The guides suggest trekking either before or after the monsoon.
In Pre Monsoon months (Feb-May) mostly the trekkers will get dry weather. The weather will be comparatively cold. But this time one will face a huge crowd. While in the post-monsoon months (Sep-Nov) the weather will be comparatively cloudy. The weather will be very cold. It is the best time to hike Gokyo Lake for its serene spectacular view. Mostly the trekkers who want to enjoy solitude in the trekking trail they love to hike during the winter months (Dec-Feb). In these months the temperature falls down to -30oC. There are passes which remain closed due to snowfall. If you really aim to trek on this particular time then you must carry proper hiking gear.
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EBC trek Itinerary
Kathmandu to Lukla
Flight duration: 30 minutes
Accommodation: tea house
Lukla is a small village located at an elevation of 2843m with a comparatively narrow runway of 527m. This short duration flight will be a pleasure to your eyes. You will be flying across the snow-covered mountains. You will really enjoy the window side view of the mountains.
Day 1: Lukla to Phakding
Altitude: Lukla-2843m, Phakding-2660m
Distance: 6kms
Time taken: 3-4hrs
You will be starting for your trekking from today onwards. You will be trekking across the normal plain terrains today between the villages. The first one you will be trekking across the villages located in Lukla. On the way you will find out beautiful monasteries, small tea house lodges and chortens to enjoy visually. For Phakding you will have to trek in inclined rocky edges for at least 2 hours.
Day 2: Phakding to Namche Bazaar
Altitude: Phakding-2660m, Namche Bazaar-3440m
Distance: 13kms
Time taken: 7-8hrs
Today it will be a long day as you will be trekking on ascending plane. After a continuous 5hrs of trekking across an inclined plane it will be quite difficult to manage. Today you will be trekking across Sagarmatha National Park. Inside the park, you will be enjoying the beautiful sight of endangered species. Here you will be crossing the suspended bridges to enter the EBC route. This place will be a visual pleasure for you to enjoy. The mountainous town covered with colorful prayer flags will be an amazing experience to explore. Before entering the path of the EBC trek, it is the largest market place to buy necessary items. From here one can catch the glimpse of golden mountains during the sunset.
Day 3: Acclimatization day
This day is quite important for high altitude trekking purpose. One has to be both mentally and physically strong enough to complete the trek. At the time the trekkers lose hope in completing the trekking for its adverse weather conditions. Due to high altitude at Namche Bazaar, the trekkers prefer to acclimatize themselves in this particular location. From here one can carry trekking gears.
Day 4: Namche Bazaar to Tengboche
Altitude: Namche Bazaar-3440m, Tengboche-3870m
Distance: 11.3kms
Time taken: 6hrs
Today, if you are fortunate enough then, can catch the glimpse of Mt. Everest from your trekking trail. You will feel the energy radiating from this location. You will feel like being a small entity in front of such grandeur mountain. Your desire to climb up the peak becomes stronger with such a beautiful sight. The majestic glimpse of the mountains will make your spirits high to summit the peak. So today you will be trekking high for another 400m but the route will be very tiring. Firstly you will be trekking upwards for 20-30mnts. Then for the next 2hrs, you will be trekking flat on the plain. Then again you will be trekking downwards for 40mnts. In the midst, you will complete your lunch. To reach Tengboche one has to trek for another 2hrs uphill. On this route, you will be visiting the largest monastery located in the Khumbu region. The Buddhists believe to rotate these prayer wheels for bringing good fortune. On your way to EBC, you can also turn these wheels to pray for accomplishing your trek. From the top of the monastery, you will catch amazing panoramic views of the mountains surrounding you.
Day 5: Tengboche to Pheriche
Altitude: Tengboche-3870m, Pheriche-4200m
Distance: 9kms
Time taken: 5-6hrs
Today you will be trekking across the rhododendron forests. A gradual inclined climb for 5hrs will be an amazing experience. Monsoons are avoidable because in these forests leeches are quite common. Therefore it is better to travel during winter.
Day 6: Acclimatization Day
On this itinerary, two days are kept separately for acclimatization purpose. One is kept around 3000+m and the other one is at 5000+m altitudes. With the passage of days, you will be trekking across higher altitudes. Just to make the body acclimatize with such conditions these days are kept separately. On the acclimatization, one should roam around the local areas to make the body adaptable with the extreme weather conditions.
Day 7: Pheriche to Lobuche
Altitude:  Pheriche-4200m, Lobuche-4930m
Distance: 7kms
Time taken:  5hrs
Today you will be trekking across some beautiful landscapes. The mountains are beautiful in own ways but looking at the green meadows and surrounded by mountains all sides will be an amazing experience. The grazing of yaks and the beautiful meadows are the perfect combination to enjoy natural beauty. From the top of the hill, you will get an amazing view of the mountains along with the meadows. On your way, you will be crossing a suspended bridge located near Thukla. From there you will be again taking the long inclined hike to reach Lobuche Pass. On the way, you will be enjoying the beautiful colored prayer flags.
Day 8: Lobuche to Gorakshep
Altitude: Lobuche-4930m, Gorakshep-5130m
Distance: 4.5kms
Time taken: 3-4hrs
Today you will be trekking towards Gorakshep. This week will be quite difficult for the trekkers as one will be trekking from Lobuche to Gorakshep. From there to EBC and gradually back to Gorakshep will be quite a difficult trek. You will be getting clearer views of the mountains from this region. Khumbu Glacier is also visible from this part of the trail.
Day 9: Gorakshep to EBC
Altitude: Gorakshep-5130m, EBC-5340m
Distance: 4kms
Time taken: 3hrs
 On this trekking trail, Gorakshep is believed to be the last one. EBC lies on the route of Khumbu Glacier. Today you will be trekking for at least 2hrs uphill. So those who want to step on to this beautiful arena of the landscape, they will definitely take back memories with them. The amazing view of Khumbu Glacier will be quite enthralling for you. If you are traveling during cloudy weather then it will be quite difficult for you to catch the glimpse of Mt. Everest even from EBC camp. One needs to climb high till Kalapatthar to get a proper panoramic view of the mountains.
Day 10: Trek to Kala Patthar
Altitude: Gorakshep-5130m, Kala Patthar-5555m
Distance: 3kms
Time taken: 2-3hrs
Today you will have to start early in the morning. It will be a rigorous day today as you are not quite aware of the unpredictable weather conditions. Therefore with deep layered of clouds, you will never get a proper view of Mt. Everest. Kala Patthar is a small mountain that allows a proper panoramic view of the mountains around.
Day 11: Pheriche to Namche Bazaar
If it is a clear sky from there one can catch beautiful lofty sight of mountains till Tengboche. Mostly the trekkers love to celebrate this small success after reaching Namche Bazaar. As it is an exhausting trek, therefore, one has to be calm and compose till the end of the trekking.
Day 12: Namche Bazaar to Lukla
So you will be retracing back following descendant routes across the hills and mountainous terrains.
Day 13: Flight to Kathmandu
You have reached the last stretch of your travel. Therefore it will be flying back to the capital city from Lukla.
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Preparation for the trek
·         Start the trekking preparation at least 6 months prior to the journey
·         Keep yourself healthy in adverse conditions
·         Try to balance extreme weather conditions
·         If you have any medical issues then try to resolve it
·         Altitude sickness is another important issue to deal with
·         Headaches and fatigue are quite often during the trekking trail
·         Difficult sleeping
 Things to pack
·         As water is quite expensive in mountains carry chlorine pills to sterilize     water
·         UV protected sunscreen and sunglass
·         Proper clothes
·         Packed foods
·         Necessary medicines
·         Warm clothes with inner warmer
·         Waterproof jackets and trousers
·         Neck gaiter
·         Gloves (both normal and outer insulated ones)
·         Hiking boots
·         Socks (2-3 pairs extra)
·         Backpack
·         Ear Plugs
·         Sleeping bag
·         Headlight
·         Charger
·         Camera
·         Toiletries
·         Baby wipes
·         First aid kit
·         Hand sanitizer
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nctinfo · 8 years ago
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[TRANS] NYLON Magzine April Issue with NCT 127 — Ment
TAEIL “When I was a high school student, I somewhat wanted to become a zookeeper. Since I really like animals, I wanted to take care of the animals in my neighbourhood. But after a bit of research, I gave up. The competition rate is high. Somehow, I became an idol where the competition is even more intense, haha. There are two happiest moments in my life, when I passed the SM Audition and when it was confirmed that I will debut with NCT. When I passed the audition, I was so happy I screamed, and when it was confirmed that I will debut, I bursted into tears. Especially when they confirmed my debut, really… I cried and cried until my eyes were puffy. Do you understand this feeling? It’s like there is a clear, bright flamelight somewhere over there, I know there is a bright world, but I feel like I’m just as in the dark as before. I have lived as a trainee for about three years and a half, every day I had this feeling, the moment it was announced that I am going to debut, it was like crawling out of a lonely tunnel. A world filled with bright and golden light, as if El Dorado unfolded in my life. That was a year ago, but even to this day, I still feel good and bewildered. Sometimes when I go on holidays, it really amazes me how on the streets and in shops I go to, there are people who recognise me. I am still inexperienced and I will work hard. Until I am like ‘Super Junior’s Kyuhyun Hyung… I envy his calm personality as well as his sweet voice and abilities. I also want to have his sense of security (stability). It would be a sense of security to be able to have both experience and skill. “
JOHNNY “I am Johnny from Chicago. Compared to New York, Chicago is quieter and more relaxed. It’s a city where nothing is too hasty but not overly relaxed, this is why I like Chicago. The fact that I come from Chicago is very important, doesn’t the environment shape a person? I want to be someone who will never forgot where they come from, and I try to keep my wish. I’ve been living in Korea for four to five years now. It feels like I have matured a bit after living in Korea for a while. During this time, I have learned to not only think about myself and to respect the grown-ups. It also made me reflect on the importance of ‘myself’. Idols live in the eyes of others and are obligated to live up to their standards. Under such environments, to avoid losing focus, I have to remember who I am. I constantly think about the questions ‘who am I?’ and ‘what kind of person am I?’. I, Johnny, like DJing and playing the piano. I also wish to become a warm (kind) person, and someone who gives other people strength. My ultimate goal is to become a person who, even though is standing still, can still show their great personality. I am still very much flawed, but please believe that I will become that person. “
TAEYONG “It’s NCT’s leader, Taeyong. NCT127 gave me a lot. I got a job called (being an) idol, I came into the company and met a lot of nice adults, most of all, I made a lot of friends. To me, the members are my best friends. Although I am the leader, rather than me leading the members, there are more times when they helped me. When I was young, I could paint and play the piano, I had a good reputation for expressing myself, and I often received praises, but it wasn’t easy for me to get close to people quickly. Do you like films by Studio Ghibli? I really like them, but the main characters in these films, why are they slightly different from others, they live alone and are lonely, but if you get to know, they are all good people. I’m talking about characters like Howl in ‘Howl's Moving Castle’. I think I'm that kind of character, after we became NCT I have eight friends. I am grateful. Still, the times that I spend alone are also very important to me. Therefore, no matter how busy I am, when schedules finish I go to the training room alone and dance or practice singing and tidy my thoughts. I think that having time alone has the power of helping me grow and endure the pressure of busy schedules and life as an entertainer. It is my goal to continue to express the days I have lived, the days a youth lived, through rap and music, and after gaining a lot of experience and knowledge, I have a dream of becoming an adult. I want to be a real grown-up who can help and guide the way for the juniors.”
YUTA “I have this phrase I always say whenever I introduce myself "I'm manly mountain man Yuta". I really like mountains. In Japanese, the pronunciation of 'mountain' and 'top' is the same. That's why I'm manly mountain man Yuta. Ah, I really like mountains. Before debut, whenever there was time to spare, I used to go to Bukhansan, Namsan-dong and every mountain in Seoul City alone, whether big or small. Whenever I'm at the mountains, my mind feels like it has been cleaned and I feel at ease. I thought of becoming a singer because of TVXQ sunbaenim. I wanted to become a soccer player when I was young. But after watching TVXQ, everything changed. They were really cool and they felt like gods to me... But after debuting, it's harder than I thought it would be. Above all,  there's no free time, I don't have time to go to my favorite mountains anymore... One day when I was in a lot of stress I asked our EXO sunbaenim "Until when will this be hard?" they answered it will take three years to give up everything and I firstly will need work to my fullest. That advice gave me strength, I thought 'Ah, our Hyungs also went through a lot of hardship'  and this made my heart feel more at ease. But whenever I'm tired, I'd like to watch sports documentaries. Soccer players in the A-League have to repeat the same strategy for years to improve their own skill. When I look at it, I think of their 'professional spirit' and I want to become a person like that too. After all, everything is a fight against yourself. Whenever I don't feel like practicing or just want to laze around. I think it's important to keep pushing myself. Like this, I want to keep moving forward one step at a time. It's just like climbing a mountain.”
DOYOUNG I have an episode (story) that shows well what kind of person I am. When I was in elementary school I wanted to eat an ice cream so I went and bought it but a car had rolled over my legs. But, I never let go of my ice cream for even one moment. Even when going to the hospital and arriving in the emergency room, I still held on to my ice cream tightly. In the end, I couldn't eat my ice cream because it all melted. But this shows that when there's a thing I really like, I tend to only think about that thing. Right now, I'm struck by our team's music. The music I can do alone and the music and voices I can do when the 9 of us are together are definitely different. Nowadays, I think a lot about what kind of music our team would fit best. I don't want to do just common things. Music is a 'proof of existence' to me. Since I was young, I really liked singing but my parents never really told me 'good job'. To prove my ability, I started to participate in singing competitions. And when I was in high school, I went to the singing contest hosted by the province and got the first prize. That's when my family started to acknowledge my singing ability. Since then, music has always seemed to give me a feeling of "this is it." I don't really have a role model, but I want to be a vocalist who can be recognized after singing just a single line. Like Adam Levine or Lyn sunbaenim. By the way, do you know Lyn's song 'Love U. . Love U'? You should have a listen. It's a song accompanied by a piano with delicate vocals
JAEHYUN “ When I was young, at home I would frivolously laugh well and would have a talkative personality but strangely at school words wouldn't come out. I'm also shy and somehow felt like I should stay quiet too... That's why I spent a lot of time alone and my 4th grade elementary school teacher recommended extracurricular activities. I then realized the joy of standing in front of people for the first time doing variety of activities. I think the joy I felt at that time made me do it today. In fact, it's still nice and fun to be standing in front others and not being burdened. However, it's hard when I'm not as strong as I expect. Even if you practice but your skills don't change, do something else. If you can't dance, sing, when singing falls into a slump, you can watch a movie... Then a moment to be okay will come. I realized as I went many time through that process that I was interested in dancing, singing, movies and so on. That's what I'm all about. Eventually, it's obvious but it's true that you have to be a good person to be a great artist. Being known is nice and receiving love is nice too but I want to be a better person. Someone who doesn't deceive, someone who is confident of himself. And after a decade, he continues to endlessly finding out what he likes diligently, I want to be someone who continues to enjoy. A person who doesn't lose his enthusiasm for what he does, that's the kind of person I find cool. “ \
WINWIN “ I'm Winwin from China. I have a deep fear of strangers. I'm also more of the shy type. However, if we're close then I'm a completely different person. I play around a lot... NCT members all tease me for being a "heodang" (T/N: someone who looks perfect but acts stupid) Ah, furthermore! I am a smart person. When me or any of my friends have problems, I can solve them all! Don't believe me? It's for real. When my friends encounter problems they always find me first. Because of school, starting from middle school I had to leave my family in Wenzhou to go to Beijing alone. Compared to other people my age, I think I've developed a better ability to control and cope with situations. Therefore I was able to adjust to life in Korea without difficulty. I've been in Korea for a year and a half and met a lot of cool people. EXO's Lay hyung is one of them. Dancing and singing, he is good at them both but besides that Lay hyung has a charisma that's unexplainable in words. I want to also have my own kind of charm someday. My story, what else? Someday I want to act. I'm confident I can cooly play a the lead character in a film about everyday life. Also, I like R&B... my favorite song? I'll let you know next time. If I tell you too much about me, the charm will be gone! “
MARK I have a lot of laughter. I laugh about things that don't make sense and when I was young, I was a kid with a lot of high spirits. Nonetheless, isn't it more pleasant to be positive rather than depressed? I started <High School Rapper> with a cheerful mind. I did not come with the thought of wanting to compete and win the first place. The thought of wanting to learn was bigger. But when I went out, it was more stimulating than I thought. It's also a place where I can see the talents of kids of my age around the country, and there are a lot of great friends. Above all, I have already debuted and come from a huge company. I have a lot of people who can help me and guide me. However, these kids who came out there in the competition are alone and they practice alone, I really respect that courage and will. At first, when it started, it was good to have fun, but I have to work hard too, as far as I can. I rap a lot for the team (NCT) but now it seems a bit funny to separate myself from being a rapper or a singer. From now on, without being bound to one restricted area, I want to be an artist who makes good songs and expresses them. Like Michael Jackson's 'Man in the Mirror', I want to create a song that is bright and is hopeful for people. The kind of music that can have a good influence on the world. That is my dream.
HAECHAN “I'm NCT 127's youngest Haechan. I'm in charge of being the 'cutie boy', haha, these are not my words but the hyungs. The Hyungs really adore me a lot. Instead of giving you a common introduction, I will tell you the songs of my life. The first one is 'Hello' by Huh Gak sunbaenim. Since I was young, I liked this song a lot. My parents both play music so naturally, I thought I would also definitely play music too. And one day, my mom came and said: "there's an audition, let's give it a go". I went with a light heart and thought of having fun but unexpectantly, I passed the audition in one try. The song I sang at that time was 'Hello' from Huh Gak sunbaenim. That's how I got through the auditions and started my trainee life. I didn't really know at the time but I seemed to hit puberty when I was fifteen. My mood swings were pretty severe. Whenever I cried, I would go to a dark room and listen to 'She's Out of My Life’ or `You Are Not Alone'. It was Michael Jackson who seemed to have protected me during my puberty. Also, more important than any other song of my life is NCT's debut song 'Fire Truck'. I was dazed and confused when I recorded the song, but listening to it now I realize it's a great song. I think 'Fire Truck' will be my song of life until I die. When I look back, I think about all the other debuted teams when we debuted and watched the sunbaenims who had already debuted. The teams, who made their debut together with us, were also very good and talented. I thought that 'I cannot hold too much hope, if we don't work hard enough we will be buried (underneath the other teams)' and worked even harder after our debut. I'm practicing these days to improve singing and dancing. Although I still lack a lot, I will do well. I'll have more confidence in myself.”
Translation: Teddy, Selin, Rini, Esmee @ FY! NCT (NCTINFO) | Source: NYLON April Issue
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Worship from Home: May 7, 2017
This series aims to provide folks who can’t make it to church for any variety of reasons with prayers, songs, and sermons. My hope is that these posts will help you worship from home, knowing that others are using the same content and thus, though we may be miles and miles apart, we worship together. See this post for more information.
Today is the fourth Sunday of the Easter season, which lasts fifty days. The readings center around God / Jesus as the good shepherd, who guides and protects us, as well as the life of the early churches -- how they lived in community with one another, sharing all things and following Jesus’s example. They had to be prepared for possible persecution, but with the assurance that Jesus was right there with them. 
Helpful context: in the Bible, shepherds were not merely the figures of peaceful, pastoral scenes we often imagine today. Protecting flocks from wild animals and other harm was a difficult and often dangerous job -- they had to be watchful and strong to keep their flocks safe and healthy. The shepherd is a loving, nurturing figure, certainly, but also a fierce one ready to fight to protect their flock. 
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[Image description: a field of sparse grass with a shepherdess in the foreground, holding a stick. Her sheep are in the center of the image behind her, with a dog. The sky behind is bright but cloudy. This painting is “Shepherdess with Her Flock” by Jean Francois Millet.] 
Come, let us worship God together. 
Gathering
Hymn: “Savior Like a Shepherd Lead Us / The King of Love My Shepherd Is” (vocals start a minute in)
Prepare your mind, spirit, and body for worship, and reflect: What does “church” mean to me? What is God’s vision of church, and what is the role of the church? If I could design my own ideal church community, what would it be like? What would be my role in it? 
Call to Worship
One: You are called for a purpose. for the sake of knowing and drawing close to God, we as a community persevere through sorrows. All: We are not here by chance. One: You are choice and precious in the sight of God, and as living stones, your lives are being built up into a spiritual sanctuary where the justice and mercy and peace of the Risen Christ may dwell. All: We are not here by chance. One: Jesus said, “My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me; and I give eternal life to them, and they will never perish; and no one will snatch them out of my hand.” All: Jesus, we are the sheep of your pasture. You have chosen us.  We have chosen you.   We are not here by chance. Amen.
(The rest is under the readmore -- please let me know if you can’t access what’s below!)
Confession and Words of Assurance
Confession
One: Merciful and Loving God, we ask forgiveness because our consciousness of you is dimmed by everyday desires and needs. ALL:   Raise our consciousness of you, O God. We forget that we are a reflection of your image.   We act as though you are a Sunday-only event.   Increase our mindfulness of you, O God. Help us to a greater common awareness of your deep mystery and infinite presence.     Awaken us from faint-heartedness, O God. Forgive us for our narrow and selfish ways.   Save us from cheap grace with your amazing grace.   Forgive us, O God.  We ask in Jesus’ precious name. Amen.
Words of Assurance 
Holy, Forgiving God, we are your sheep.   You keep us awake and aware.   You can increase our God-consciousness every day of our lives.   Bless you and praise you for forgiving us when we are barely mindful enough to ask.   Help us to enter by the door when we hear the voice of the Good Shepherd.   We hear your voice of pardon. Through Christ’s grace we are forgiven, and we go in. Amen.
(source)
Readings
Acts 2:42-47
For an audio reading of this passage with images and text, see here (sudden loud noise warning at the very end once the passage is over) 
Text here: “Awe came upon everyone, because many wonders and signs were being done by the apostles. All who believed were together and had all things in common; they would sell their possessions and goods and distribute the proceeds to all, as any had need. Day by day, as they spent much time together in the temple, they broke bread at home and ate their food with glad and generous hearts, praising God and having the goodwill of all the people. And day by day the Lord added to their number those who were being saved.”
Psalm 23
for spoken audio of Psalm 23 (with text), see here
for a sung version of Psalm 23 with lyrics, see here 
1 Peter 2:19-25
John 10:1-10
for audio of this passage (with captions), see here
Sermon
Option 1: “Baptism into the Fold” -- text only; focuses on the Acts 2 reading
Provides helpful context on the role of a shepherd in biblical times and on life in the early church; focuses on the communal call so different from the often-individualistic faith we see today as well as on supporting one another in suffering 
Option 2: “The Clown in the Belfry” -- text only; focuses on Psalm 23
“I don't suppose there is any passage in either the Old Testament or the New that sums up the faith this church was founded on more eloquently and movingly than the Twenty-third Psalm. ‘The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.’ How many times would you guess those words have been spoken here over the years, especially at dark moments when people needed all the faith they could muster? How many times have we spoken them ourselves at our own dark moments? But for all their power to bring comfort, do the words hold water? ...”
Option 3: “God’s Most Difficult Miracle,” text only (unless you sign up to the site for free, then audio is also available); focused on the Acts 2 reading
“The most difficult miracle that ever took place in scripture can be found...drum roll please...Acts chapter 2! ‘All who believed were together and had all things in common; they would sell their possessions and goods and distribute the proceeds to all, as any had need.’ That's got to be it! Don't you think God would have an easier time of making the walls tumble down or walking on water than getting any human being to sell their ‘possessions and goods and distribute the proceeds to all, as any had need’?”
Reflection
We are called, as followers of Christ, to embrace the connections between all created things, and to find in them the resurrection life that Christ promises. Like the psalmist, we can know God’s care and provision for us, but also know that this means that we are drawn into God’s house, where we are not the only inhabitants. Like the early believers, we are called to share all things, to ��do life’ together, and to endure whatever persecution or hardship we may face with the same grace and forgiveness that Christ demonstrated. And unlike the false shepherds, who care nothing for the sheep, we are both the sheep who enjoy God’s care, and the ‘shepherds’ or ‘gatekeepers’ who care for the sheep and help them to find life-giving pasture. What this interconnected experience of life means, is that we can no longer ignore what happens on the other side of the world. We are connected with the poor, the sick, the refugee and the oppressed. And, in our own way, as followers of Christ, we can use our love and compassion to change the world so that the most vulnerable people are no longer abused by “thieves and robbers” but are cared for and provided for by people who truly seek their best, and who seek a better world in which all are secure, all are provided for and all are included in the community of humanity.
(source)
Prayers of the People
The psalmist proclaims that with God as shepherd, “I shall lack nothing.” Yet in our here and now, we lack much; we want much.
We pray for the future in which we really will be satisfied -- when your abundant life, O God, restores and transforms each of us.
In the meantime, we pray for those we know are in need, who are wanting. In the meantime, we give thanks that you walk with us, shepherding us through valleys and past our oppressors.
[Take a moment to offer up prayers for yourself and anyone in your life or in the world whom you know could use some prayers.] Our trust, Shepherd God, is in you. Amen. 
Hymn, traditional option: (audio with lyrics) “Shepherd me O God beyond my wants, beyond my fears, from death into life.”
Hymn, contemporary option: (audio with lyrics) “Shepherd” 
Benediction
Shepherd God, We have worshiped you and praised you for gathering us, diverse as we are, into one flock. Now, it is time for us to enter back into the world.
Lead us forth, guiding us through valleys and shadows, protecting us as we dine not only with friends but also with foes, in the hopes of becoming one with them too. Help us to be shepherds as well as your sheep, guiding one another through valleys of shadow to food, to water, to rest. The way is not easy, but we rejoice, because you guide us always and because you give us to one another to serve you and to be your church together.
Amen.
Hymn: “Lead On,” contemporary option; includes lyrics
Hymn: “The Summons,” traditional option; includes lyrics
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“We Are All One in Jesus Christ” by Soichi Watanabe. Image description: abstract / geometric figures of varying shades of brown surround an abstract table. All wear white and the central figure breaks bread.
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