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From Foldable Screens to AI: The Latest Mobile Technology Trends

Introduction: In today’s fast-paced world, mobile technology is constantly evolving and advancing at a rapid pace. From foldable screens to artificial intelligence (AI), the latest trends in mobile technology are revolutionizing the way we interact with our devices. In this article, we will explore the top trends shaping the future of mobile technology and how they are impacting the way we live…

[jcmarchi]

Bridging code and conscience: UMD's quest for ethical and inclusive AI

New Post has been published on https://thedigitalinsider.com/bridging-code-and-conscience-umds-quest-for-ethical-and-inclusive-ai/

Bridging code and conscience: UMD's quest for ethical and inclusive AI

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As artificial intelligence systems increasingly permeate critical decision-making processes in our everyday lives, the integration of ethical frameworks into AI development is becoming a research priority. At the University of Maryland (UMD), interdisciplinary teams tackle the complex interplay between normative reasoning, machine learning algorithms, and socio-technical systems. 

In a recent interview with Artificial Intelligence News, postdoctoral researchers Ilaria Canavotto and Vaishnav Kameswaran combine expertise in philosophy, computer science, and human-computer interaction to address pressing challenges in AI ethics. Their work spans the theoretical foundations of embedding ethical principles into AI architectures and the practical implications of AI deployment in high-stakes domains such as employment.

Normative understanding of AI systems

Ilaria Canavotto, a researcher at UMD’s Values-Centered Artificial Intelligence (VCAI) initiative, is affiliated with the Institute for Advanced Computer Studies and the Philosophy Department. She is tackling a fundamental question: How can we imbue AI systems with normative understanding? As AI increasingly influences decisions that impact human rights and well-being, systems have to comprehend ethical and legal norms.

“The question that I investigate is, how do we get this kind of information, this normative understanding of the world, into a machine that could be a robot, a chatbot, anything like that?” Canavotto says.

Her research combines two approaches:

Top-down approach: This traditional method involves explicitly programming rules and norms into the system. However, Canavotto points out, “It’s just impossible to write them down as easily. There are always new situations that come up.”

Bottom-up approach: A newer method that uses machine learning to extract rules from data. While more flexible, it lacks transparency: “The problem with this approach is that we don’t really know what the system learns, and it’s very difficult to explain its decision,” Canavotto notes.

Canavotto and her colleagues, Jeff Horty and Eric Pacuit, are developing a hybrid approach to combine the best of both approaches. They aim to create AI systems that can learn rules from data while maintaining explainable decision-making processes grounded in legal and normative reasoning.

“[Our] approach […] is based on a field that is called artificial intelligence and law. So, in this field, they developed algorithms to extract information from the data. So we would like to generalise some of these algorithms and then have a system that can more generally extract information grounded in legal reasoning and normative reasoning,” she explains.

AI’s impact on hiring practices and disability inclusion

While Canavotto focuses on the theoretical foundations, Vaishnav Kameswaran, affiliated with UMD’s NSF Institute for Trustworthy AI and Law and Society, examines AI’s real-world implications, particularly its impact on people with disabilities.

Kameswaran’s research looks into the use of AI in hiring processes, uncovering how systems can inadvertently discriminate against candidates with disabilities. He explains, “We’ve been working to… open up the black box a little, try to understand what these algorithms do on the back end, and how they begin to assess candidates.”

His findings reveal that many AI-driven hiring platforms rely heavily on normative behavioural cues, such as eye contact and facial expressions, to assess candidates. This approach can significantly disadvantage individuals with specific disabilities. For instance, visually impaired candidates may struggle with maintaining eye contact, a signal that AI systems often interpret as lack of engagement.

“By focusing on some of those qualities and assessing candidates based on those qualities, these platforms tend to exacerbate existing social inequalities,” Kameswaran warns. He argues that this trend could further marginalise people with disabilities in the workforce, a group already facing significant employment challenges.

The broader ethical landscape

Both researchers emphasise that the ethical concerns surrounding AI extend far beyond their specific areas of study. They touch on several key issues:

Data privacy and consent: The researchers highlight the inadequacy of current consent mechanisms, especially regarding data collection for AI training. Kameswaran cites examples from his work in India, where vulnerable populations unknowingly surrendered extensive personal data to AI-driven loan platforms during the COVID-19 pandemic.

Transparency and explainability: Both researchers stress the importance of understanding how AI systems make decisions, especially when these decisions significantly impact people’s lives.

Societal attitudes and biases: Kameswaran points out that technical solutions alone cannot solve discrimination issues. There’s a need for broader societal changes in attitudes towards marginalised groups, including people with disabilities.

Interdisciplinary collaboration: The researchers’ work at UMD exemplifies the importance of cooperation between philosophy, computer science, and other disciplines in addressing AI ethics.

Looking ahead: solutions and challenges

While the challenges are significant, both researchers are working towards solutions:

Canavotto’s hybrid approach to normative AI could lead to more ethically-aware and explainable AI systems.

Kameswaran suggests developing audit tools for advocacy groups to assess AI hiring platforms for potential discrimination.

Both emphasise the need for policy changes, such as updating the Americans with Disabilities Act to address AI-related discrimination.

However, they also acknowledge the complexity of the issues. As Kameswaran notes, “Unfortunately, I don’t think that a technical solution to training AI with certain kinds of data and auditing tools is in itself going to solve a problem. So it requires a multi-pronged approach.”

A key takeaway from the researchers’ work is the need for greater public awareness about AI’s impact on our lives. People need to know how much data they share or how it’s being used. As Canavotto points out, companies often have an incentive to obscure this information, defining them as “Companies that try to tell you my service is going to be better for you if you give me the data.”

The researchers argue that much more needs to be done to educate the public and hold companies accountable. Ultimately, Canavotto and Kameswaran’s interdisciplinary approach, combining philosophical inquiry with practical application, is a path forward in the right direction, ensuring that AI systems are powerful but also ethical and equitable.

See also: Regulations to help or hinder: Cloudflare’s take

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Tags: ai, artificial intelligence, ethics, research, Society

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10 Mobile Technology Trends Changing the Way We Live

Introduction: In the fast-paced world of technology, mobile devices have become an integral part of our daily lives. From communication to entertainment, mobile technology has revolutionized the way we live and interact with the world around us. In this article, we will explore 10 mobile technology trends that are shaping our future and changing the way we live. 1. 5G Technology 5G technology is…

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[jcmarchi]

25 years of cybersecurity evolution: Insights from an industry veteran - CyberTalk

New Post has been published on https://thedigitalinsider.com/25-years-of-cybersecurity-evolution-insights-from-an-industry-veteran-cybertalk/

25 years of cybersecurity evolution: Insights from an industry veteran - CyberTalk

Eric has been working in technology for over 40 years with a focus on cybersecurity since the 90’s. Now serving primarily as Chief Cybersecurity Evangelist and part of the Executive Leadership Team, Eric has been with Atlantic Data Security starting from its inception, filling various roles across the company. He leverages this broad perspective along with his passion, collective experience, creative thinking, and empathetic understanding of client issues to solve and advocate for effective cybersecurity.

In this highly informative interview, Atlantic Data Security Evangelist Eric Anderson reflects on the past 25 years in cybersecurity, discusses important observations, and provides valuable recommendations for businesses worldwide.

In looking back across the past 25 years, what has “wowed” you the most in the field of cybersecurity? Why?

Eric: It’s often taken for granted now, but I used to be absolutely amazed at the pace of things. Not that it’s not still impressive, but I think we’ve all gotten a bit used to the speed at which technology evolves. It’s even more pronounced in our specific field. Cybersecurity may have a somewhat unique driver of innovation, since it’s largely pushed by illicit actors that are constantly searching for new threat vectors. Defenders are forced to invest in developing responses to keep up.

While all areas of tech evolve with amazing speed, most are driven by the constant gradual pressure of consumer desire. Meanwhile cybersecurity has a daily requirement for advancement due to the actions of external forces. We often have to take big leaps into entirely new product categories to respond to new risks.

Can you share insights into the early days of cybersecurity and how Atlantic Data Security was involved with the first firewall installations?

Eric:  My personal journey with Check Point started in the mid 90’s with one of Check Point’s early reseller partners. By 1998 or 1999, our business transitioned from being a network integrator/VAR to a dedicated security shop — primarily selling, installing, and supporting Check Point firewall and VPN solutions. Shortly after that, I became our second certified Check Point instructor to help handle the massive demand for training. I have continued to get more involved with all aspects of Check Point ever since (from the partner side), including taking the helm of the Check Point User Group back in 2014.

One of my favorite aspects of our current company is how many of us have known each other for decades; either working at the same company, as partners, or competitors, and how much of that history shares Check Point as a common thread.

My favorite example is with Kevin Haley, one of the owners of ADS. When I first met him in 2001, he had long since been running the security reseller division of a company called Netegrity. He had been focused primarily on selling and supporting Check Point products from back when their name was Internet Security Corporation — which had the distinction of being Check Point’s first partner in the U.S.

What are some of the key lessons learned via efforts around the first firewall installations and how do they inform cybersecurity strategies today?

Eric:  Back then, we were all learning a lot about security. Many of us had some comprehensive networking experience, but the extent of our “security” exposure was often just a handful of passwords. Our footprint was typically contained within a few buildings and maybe a small group of remote users.

It was amazing to see how rapidly the internet changed our security exposure from local to global. Almost overnight we had to start contending with an entirely new class threats. Forward-thinking companies like Check Point were there to give us the tools we needed, but we had to quickly grow from network engineers to cybersecurity experts. This rapid reshaping of the landscape has never really stopped. Every time things seem to settle down a bit, a new trend or technology, like cloud adoption or the shift to remote work, comes along to shake it up.

Ultimately, we need to remain agile and flexible. We can’t reliably predict the next big change we so need to have buffers in our planning. I think it goes beyond incident planning and is more something like “paradigm shift planning.” What resources do we have available for the next big thing? Having a good handle on current projects and priorities can allow for better optimization of resources.

We saw this with the adoption of VPN almost 30 years ago. Organizations were either using either modems and phone lines or slow, expensive direct connections, like frame relay and T1’s.  While VPN wasn’t a required shift, its was vastly better, reducing costs, improving speed, and enhancing security. Clients who were flexible enough to adopt VPN early reaped significant advantages. Others took much longer to adapt, having to deal with higher costs and more cumbersome operations throughout. While this wasn’t an essential shift to deal with an imminent threat, it clearly illustrated the advantages that organizations can gain by being flexible and the role of cybersecurity in enabling the business to function more broadly.

The CISO role is known for its evolution. Given all of the demands placed on modern CISOs (technology, people management, board-level commitments), does it still make sense to have a single CISO role? How do you foresee the role continuing to evolve? How would you like to see it evolve?

Eric: I recently spoke to a room full of CISOs and others serving similar roles. I asked them two questions: “Who among you will not be held responsible in the event of a breach?” No one raised their hand. “Who among you has all of the necessary power and resources to keep it from happening?” A few hands did go up; all from people working at smaller organizations with relatively flat hierarchies, allowing them more latitude and purview than we see in most mid-sized organizations or larger. But they all agreed that while CISOs bear the massive burden of cyber defense, they aren’t given the budget, staff, authority, or support to keep from buckling under it.

While I’d love to see the role of the CISO change, I fear that the broad interpretation of the title/term is unlikely to shift significantly.

What I really want to see is for security to become part of every department’s structure and culture. It would be great to have security officers within each department; from infrastructure, to desktops, to finance, especially in DevOps, and everywhere else. Those officers could be more in tune with their group’s specific drivers and needs, working closely with them to reach goals, with security as an overarching priority and mandate. A CISO’s role in that environment would be to globalize and unify security efforts across an organization.

I have seen things like this being done in some forward-thinking organizations. Making security a part of all aspects of an organization will only make it stronger.

Given the current pace of technological advancement, how do you anticipate that cybersecurity technology will evolve across the next decade? What are your thoughts about the role of artificial intelligence?

Eric:  That’s a loaded one! There are some clear areas that are already starting to show improvement. Tool consolidation and orchestration solutions have helped manage complexity more effectively than ever. As a field, we’re getting better at cultivating security-conscious cultures in our organization.

One major trend that I hope will continue is progress towards greater accountability. While GRC can feel overreaching and burdensome, when implemented properly, it grants us the freedom to share and use data. Our industry developed so quickly that it was impossible to put guardrails on it. If we look at a more mature industry like transportation or finance, they have rules and regulations that have evolved over a much longer time. While speed limits and safety inspections can seem restrictive, we largely accept them. It’s similar to how rules and regulations allow drivers to share roads with some degree of confidence that their safety isn’t in immediate jeopardy. Companies have repeatedly demonstrated that responsibility and accountability won’t be adopted voluntarily. Painful as they may seem, regulations and standards like PCI, HIPAA, and GDPR have shown some positive movement in this direction.

AI is proving to be an area where this type of governance is essential and welcomed by most. Not to be too flippant, but if science-fiction is any indicator of our potential non-fiction future, as it often is, unchecked, unregulated, unleashed AI could eventually be our downfall.

While it’s a very hot topic right now, and it will continue to reshape the world around us, I don’t subscribe to the idea that it will be a tool used primarily for either good or evil. Experience has shown me that every technological advancement has ultimately provided benefits to both the well-meaning and ill-intended. I may be overly optimistic, but I feel like both sides eventually find ways to leverage the same tools to effectively cancel each other out. One concern is the gap created as each side leverages new tech at a different rate. The time it takes to develop a response is nail-biting.

Another interesting yet frightening advancement may show up in the area of computational power; either true quantum computing or something close to it. As has always been the case, as stronger computing becomes available, it can be used both for data protection and compromise. While both keep pace with each other, a significant leap in computational power may lead to a downside that’s hard to counter: Data captured today, no matter how securely encrypted by today’s standards, would be trivial to crack tomorrow. It’s a major concern, and if I had the answer, I’d be off working up a business plan.

Are there specific threat vectors, such as supply chain vulnerabilities, that you expect to become more prevalent in the near future?

Eric:  I think the most prevalent vector will usually be closely tied to whatever our biggest weakness is. In an odd way, I hope that it continues to change — because that moving target means we’re successfully dealing with our biggest weaknesses, forcing threat actors to change tactics.

Specifically, I think DevOps is an area that needs major improvement — or at least more focus on security. This was recently underscored by a joint CISA/FBI alert urging executives at all levels to work harder to eliminate SQL injection related vulnerabilities.

Identity management and authentication is another area that needs more scrutiny. Weak credentials and unnecessarily elevated access continue to be a leading factors in security breaches. While MFA and stronger rights management can be inconvenient and challenging, they need to be embraced and adopted comprehensively. It’s that one, old, forgotten “test” account that will be exploited.

Back to my hopeful redefining of the CISO role, parts of an organization that don’t recognize security as an essential, integral priority, will continue to expose us. Security as an afterthought, applied with duct tape and followed by prayers, isn’t working.

If you were to select 1-2 meaningful highlights of your career, what would they be and what corresponding lessons can be shared with other cybersecurity professionals?

Eric:  It’s a tough question because I’ve been fortunate enough to have quite a few. I think the seminal moment, however, came as a teenager, before I was able to drive. While my summer job was not technical in nature, I spent a lot of time with our hardware technician. He happened to be out sick one day and I was asked if I could help a customer in need. Thus began a career in IT — once someone agreed to drive me to the customer’s office.

One broad highlight for me has been meeting new people. I’ve had the good fortune to get to know some amazing folks from all over the world, whether I was the one traveling or they were. Interactions with each and every one of them have shaped me into who I am, for better or worse. My advice in that area is not to pass up an opportunity to engage, and when given that chance, to check your ego at the door. My younger self always wanted to be the smartest person in the room. I’ve learned that, while maybe once or twice I was (or was allowed to believe I was), that gets boring and stressful. While I’m still often called on to share my knowledge, experience, opinions, and creative/wacky ideas, I revel in being able to listen and learn from others. I’m happy to be proven wrong as well, because once I have been, I’m more knowledgeable than I was before.

Do you have recommendations for CISOs regarding how to prioritize cybersecurity investments in their organizations? New factors to consider?

Eric:  I find myself repeatedly advising CISOs, not to get sucked into a knee-jerk replacement of technology. It’s easy to point fingers at products or solutions that aren’t “working.” Often, however, the failure is in the planning, execution, administration, or even buy-in. I cry a little on the inside when I learn about aggressive rip-and-replace initiatives that could have been salvaged or fixed for far less money and with much less grief. If the core problems aren’t addressed, the replacement could ultimately suffer the same fate.

I’ve also seen successfully aggressive marketing campaigns lead to impulse purchases of products that are either unnecessary or redundant because an existing solution had that unrealized, untapped capability.

The bottom line is to take comprehensive stock of what you have and to investigate alternatives to all-out replacement. Don’t level the house in favor of a complete re-build just because of a leaky pipe. Of course, if the foundation is collapsing…

Would you like to share a bit about your partnership with Check Point? What does that mean to your organization?

Eric:  Check Point is how I personally cut my teeth in cybersecurity, and therefore will always have a special place in my heart. But at Atlantic Data Security, I’m far from the only one with that long standing connection. It’s almost like Check Point is in our DNA.

Starting with the invention of the modern firewall, continuing for over 30 years of constant innovation, Check Point has been the most consistent vendor in the industry. Many players have come and gone, but Check Point has never wavered from their mission to provide the best security products. I’ve learned to trust their vision and foresight.

As a similarly laser-focused advisor and provider of security solutions and services to our clients, we have complete confidence that properly deployed and maintained Check Point solutions won’t let us or the client, down.

We work with a variety of vendors, providing us with the flexibility to solve client challenges in the most effective and efficient way possible. We always evaluate each need and recommend the optimal solution — based on many factors. Far more often than not, Check Point’s offerings, backed by their focus, research, and vision, prove to be the best choice.

Our commitment to and confidence in this has allowed us to amass an outstanding, experienced, technical team. Our unmatched ability to scope, plan, deploy, support, maintain, and train our clients on Check Point’s portfolio is leveraged by organizations of all types and sizes.

I’m confident that between ADS and Check Point, we’re making the cyber world a safer place.

Is there anything else that you would like to share with Check Point’s executive-level audience?

Cybersecurity is not one department’s responsibility. For every employee, every manager, every executive, and yes, even the entire C-cuite, cybersecurity is everyone’s responsibility.

[dilfstar]

ONLINE LOVE !

brother!leon x sister!reader 4.3k words. warnings ! incest, piv, rdr n leon r both idiots, insecure n loser!rdr :] dubcon, somno, breeding notes ! gigi loser w no job and mostly online friends :( sorry this took so long 2 write i was trying not 2 kms 😛

The high pitched ping from your computer let you know he finally replied to your message. Almost an entire day later… It’s whatever! He’s probably just busy, right? There's no way he's already tired of you… Right?

You ran over to your desk, slipping on a random sock on the floor, bumping into the corner of a nearby end table. You looked down at the aching spot, already seeing the beginning of a bruise appear. “Damnit, Leon! Learn how to clean your shit!”

The chair squeaked as you sat down, floorboards groaning when you rolled closer to the desk. Your eyes focused on the screen, the spinning loading wheel making you want to scream. “Hurry up…” Your thumb was between your teeth while you anxiously watched the screen, eyes lighting up the second your messages with him loaded.

lskndy98 : hey! sorry i took so long :( work has been kicking my ass heh… dollstar : omg no problem :) i totally get it ! what’s ur job if u don’t mind me asking?  lskndy98 : im a cop. i work at the local precinct. not the best job… but it pays well! dollstar : omg no way??? ur lying! my brothers a cop too LOL

The conversation went on for hours. You were in love with a guy you’ve known for a little more than week. A guy you met in some random chatroom. A guy that could be a serial killer for all you know! It’s whatever. Doesn’t even matter, does it? He’s hot enough. At least his body is… He hasn’t exactly shown you his face. Which makes sense… Was this weird? This was weird. Imagine if your friends found out! Or even worse– Your brother.

Leon would never let you live this down. He’d call you a freak, a loser. Fucking asshole. He’s the loser and freak. Not you! He’s the one that spends all his free time holed up in his room… on his computer… talking to people online… Okay, maybe you two weren’t so different, but it doesn’t matter. You’re better than him!

Sure he was older and he had a job and he was your parents favorite. But, what does that matter? You actually have friends and someone that likes you. You: 1. Leon: 0.

Maybe… just maybe. You were a loser too. You didn’t even know this guys name and you wanted to marry him? Yeah. You’re as lame as Leon. Worse even. He had a steady income! You had nothing.

The knocking on your door frame snapped you out of your thoughts, head whipping around to face whoever was bothering you. The sight of Leon instantly made you want to vomit. “What do you want? I’m clearly busy.”

He scoffed at your words, pushing off the wall with a grunt, face twisted into one of annoyance as he walked over to you. The look was immediately wiped away when he got closer. Explicit messages covered your computer screen. He laughed at you. He actually laughed at you!

“No way… You're flirting with some random guy? How long have you even known him?” He leaned over you, practically on top of you as he stared at your screen. Your hands moved as fast as possible to click out of the tab. Your cheeks were burning with shame, the thought of shooting yourself seeming more and more appealing with each second.

“It’s… It's none of your business! Go away!” You pushed him back, getting out of the crappy office chair to shove him out of your room. Why did he have to come in and see all of that? Idiot, idiot, idiot was all that repeated in your head. All thoughts clouded with pure embarrassment at your worst enemy finding out you were sexting some random dude on the internet.

Leon, on the other hand, felt like he was about to vomit. You were really talking to some dude you didn’t know? Yeah, sure, he was talking to some girl he didn’t know… but it was different! This girl wasn’t just using him for nudes like the guy you were talking to was. You didn’t deserve that. You deserved someone good. Someone that could take care of you. Leon could do that for you. If he wasn’t your brother. Don’t be weird!

His jealousy was normal, right? It was just a big brother being worried about his sister. Nothing more. So what if he felt sick about some loser messaging you, talking about fucking you. He’s just being protective, yeah?

You spent forever taking pictures for him. All kinds of unnatural angles and poses to show off your body in a flattering way. Tits squeezed into the tightest bra possible. You didn't even look like yourself. Good.

It was pathetic, really. Trying to impress a guy whose face you haven't even seen. What would your parents say if they saw you like this? They'd laugh at you just like Leon did. Maybe everyone was right about you being a loser. No job, no school, only friends are people you met online… This guy would change everything though! He has to!

Each picture was worse than the last. Wrong angle, bad lighting, face in it. He couldn't see you. Not yet. It had to be the perfect moment! (When you two got married and he couldn't back out!)

After another hour, you finally got it. The perfect picture to send. One that made you look like some edited catfish on instagram… but all natural! With a few quick swipes, you opened the messages between the two of you, uploading the photo as fast as your shitty internet would allow.

Your thumb hovered over the send button, refusing to just inch forward and press it, an invisible force field blocking you from sending the photo. “It's just a body pic… What's the worst he could say?” The words barely audible as they fell from your lips, your thumb hitting the screen soon after.

Dots appeared a few seconds later, disappearing just as fast as they appeared. This went on for what felt like an eternity only for his message to be something stupid. Something so incredibly lame and stupid. “Nice. 👍”

Nice.

Nice.

He said “nice” to a picture of you in next to nothing. Who says that? Is he stupid? He has to be… Why else would he reply like that?

You frowned at the screen, the thoughts in your mind becoming increasingly negative with each second. Maybe you weren't as pretty as you thought. Maybe you gave him the ick. Maybe you-

It doesn't matter. He’s just a random dude you met online. You’ve never even seen his face! So what if he thought you weren't hot? He's probably some sleazy neckbeard that scrolls reddit all day. Whatever.

Ding!

lskndy98 : fuckkkk lskndy98 : just came so hard lskndy98 : you wanna see? lskndy98 has sent you an image!

Oh. Oh. He was big. His hand could barely wrap around his cock. Cum dripping down the side of it and onto his hand… All because of you.

You were speechless, every single thought that was running through your head vanished. So he did think you were hot! A hot guy thinks you're hot! 

Okay, so you don't exactly know that he's hot… but he is big. It counts, right? Whatever. You're the reason there’s cum dripping down his thick cock. Someone thought that your body was worth something! All of that time spent getting the right angle was so worth it now!

dollstar : omg 0____0 dollstar : was tht rlly bcus of me?? dollstar : ur making me blush… <3

You couldn't stop staring at the picture, everything else being blurred out, your mind entirely focused on him. The phone slipped into your hand, holding the picture close to your face as the other one slipped down into your underwear. A soft sigh escaped you the moment your fingertips made contact with your clit.

You could feel the pleasure crawling through your veins, your breathing suddenly becoming ragged and heavy. Each brush of your fingers made you dizzier than before. All ability to process your surroundings flew out of your head.

Knock, knock, knock.

You dug your teeth into your lip, not hearing the heavy beating on the door. Your mind was in such a haze you failed to notice Leon standing in your doorway staring directly at you until it was too late. A loud shriek bounced off the walls and into his ears as a throw pillow came flying at his face. 

“Get out! Get out! Fucking perv…!” Any previous sexual feelings you had jumped out of you the second you saw your brother’s face. How long was he standing there? Why were you related to such a creep…

The air in the room was heavy once you finally stepped into the kitchen, an awkward, ashamed look was plastered on your face as you approached Leon. 

“...Hey.” Hey? That's the best you could come up with?

“Uh, sorry about… earlier. You weren't meant to see that. Let's just try to forget about it, yeah?” Simple enough for him to understand. At least you hoped it was.

All he did was nod at you, barely acknowledging your presence. He stayed glued to his phone, turned slightly away from you. 

“Hello? I’m talking to you, asshole.” You stepped towards him, turning him around to face you, absentmindedly looking down and making eye contact with the very obvious bulge in his pants. Oh.

It was as if time froze. Your eyes were locked onto his dick, like it had its own pair and was battling you in a staring contest. This could not be happening. Your older brother, the guy you’ve fought with for years, was hard for his own sister. Disgust overtook your body as you ran to the bathroom, barely making it to the toilet before puking your guts up.

How could he do that to you? What kind of sick freak gets hard for his little sister? It felt like millions of tiny bugs were crawling over your skin, the taste of vomit resting on your tongue as you hid in the bathroom with the door locked. What about all those years together growing up? Eugh, did he feel like this back then too?

You stared at the door for what felt like hours, waiting until it felt safe enough to leave and go back to your room. Carefully, you twisted the doorknob, tip toeing on the wooden floors to get to your destination. 

You flipped the lock on your door as soon as you got in, making sure he couldn't try to peep on you. The only comfort you had was the hot, faceless stranger on your phone even though he was just words on a screen. God, your life really was pathetic. The only guy that's ever been interested in you probably lived across the country and your freak of a brother wanted to fuck you. 

Your back was against your door as you messaged whatever he was to you. To make things worse, you two still haven't decided on what you were. Each new thing that you realized only seemed to make your night worse. Maybe you weren't meant to be happy or enjoy your life. You were probably some sort of monster in a past one and this was just karma finally getting you back.

dollstar : hey… you there? dollstar : could use some company dollstar : lol lskndy98 : what's up??

The only thing that was able to comfort you was venting to your eboyfriend about everything that was wrong in your life without fully going into detail about just how horrible it was. He can know your brother sucks without knowing why… There's no need to drive him away just yet.

The next few days were filled with you thinking about how to approach Leon. You couldn't let this situation stay like this forever, you had to work something out with him. But every time you tried coming up with something, you got too scared to talk to him. What if it happened again?

After taking a few shots to loosen yourself up, you made your way to his room, gently knocking on the door. It creaked open, giving you a nice view of his bedroom and the door to his bathroom. You’re not sure why, but it felt like something was pulling you in towards the bathroom, putting you under a trance to take a peek inside. I mean, it's not like it’ll hurt anyone to snoop through his things. He's probably not even in there!

Your fingers wrapped around the knob, turning it even after hearing the shower running. There was no way for you to stop yourself, your body was moving on its own. You cringed as the steam hit you, immediately enveloping you in a gross, wet heat. The humidity in the room made you want to gag, distracting you from the main thing in front of you.

The vomit taste that's been resting on your tongue the past few days melted away as soon as you laid your eyes on his lean body in the shower. The way the droplets of water dripped down his toned abs made your thighs squeeze together.

No! No! He’s your brother for crying out loud! Don't be a gross pervert like him. 

Without saying anything, you left and went straight to your room. The whole thing shouldn't have been so… hot! You two were related for crying out loud. Connected by blood. It was wrong! But, it really turned you on, the taboo aspect of it sending a dangerous shock through your veins. 

A thought popped into your head, one that made you dispose of your clothes and crawl into bed, camera mode on your phone ready in your left hand. He’s in the shower, right? So, he shouldn't bother you for a bit… You have about an hour. Just enough time to make a certain someone a sweet video!

The moment the camera started recording you began touching yourself, dragging your fingers over your thighs, wincing softly but covering it with a moan when you pressed too hard on the bruise from earlier. The feeling that flowed through your body when you made contact with your clit set your skin on fire. Each touch already too intense for you to handle.

“You like that…? ‘ts all for you…” Well, kinda. Sure, most of it was for the guy you've been thirsting over for weeks, but a small, tiny part was from seeing your brother naked, no matter how hard you tried to deny it. He just looked so good. All that training at the academy and mornings at the gym really paid off. He had to be like, the hottest guy you've ever seen. Even if he was your brother!

He was big too. You only got a slight glimpse of it but it was the biggest you’ve ever seen. Though, it’s not like you’ve seen many. It looked heavy, like it’d hurt your mouth. Maybe that's why all the girls in school talked about him like he was a God. He definitely looked like one…

Another part of you wondered how he’d be in bed, even if it was gross to think about at first. Would he be gentle or rough? Would he make sure you came first? Or leave once he was done? Was he any good at it? You needed to know- No! Stop it! What's wrong with you?!

You fingers stop moving instantly, thumb pressing the stop recording button as you moved to sit up. How could you do this? Touching yourself to the thought of your brother… The guy that practically raised you. Something has to be wrong with you for you to find him hot enough to fantasize about.

Whatever, it's not like anyone will know. Just send the video and forget why you took it. Simple. Easy. Not hard at all. So why couldn't you move? Why was there a little voice in your head telling you not to send it to some stranger when there's a hot guy in your house? Fuck- Stop it!

You focused in on your phone, sending the video with a few pictures from before.

dollstar has sent lskndy98 an image! dollstar : hope u like it :p dollstar : thought of u the whole time… wish u cld help :(

Weird. He usually responds almost instantly… Maybe he's busy with work or in the shower or something. It doesn't matter, it's not something to worry over. None of this is anything to worry about. It's normal to feel like this once in your life, yeah? Yeah. It has to be. It’s too late to focus on anything that big anyways. As soon as your head hit the pillow you passed out, drifting off into a sweet dreamland filled with visions of you and your mystery man. 

Leon turned the hot water off, grabbing a white towel as he stepped out of the shower, wrapping it around his waist. His first instinct was to check his phone, see if anyone at work had called him. Nope! Just a message from his sorta girlfriend!

His eyes shot open as he clicked on the notification, being hit in the face with a video of her touching herself. For him! Her fingers looked so nice moving around her thi- Ouch, nasty bruise. Looks like the one his sister has… In the same place, on the same leg. Same shape and everything.

No, no, no, no. This was not happening, especially not after that night a few days ago. He stared at himself in the mirror, all color drained from his face, a sickly feeling creeping up on him.

Why did he have to be hard right now? He just found out the girl he's been talking to for weeks is his sister… He jerked off to pictures of her! 

He set his phone on the counter, leaning forward to try and stop the sudden dizzy spell and urge to vomit on all of his stuff. This was just a horrible nightmare, right? He would wake up tomorrow morning and forget all about it, go back to normal. But, you looked so cute all needy for him, even if you didn't exactly know it was him. One little listen to it couldn't hurt.

The first moan after he hit play hit him like a wrecking ball, sending a shock to his system as he listened to the video, hearing it bounce off the bathroom walls. Your little noises just sounded so pretty, he couldn't help how hard he was getting for you. 

“Leon!” The high pitched whine from the video almost made him short circuit. You said his name. Sorry, you moaned his name. You were thinking about him while touching yourself and you didn't even realize before you sent it! He couldn't hold it in anymore, he was gripping the edge of the counter so hard his knuckles were white. God, why would you do this to him?

He walked out of the bathroom, still dressed in only the small towel around his waist and his phone on the counter still playing the video of you. He made his way to your door, standing outside of it for what felt like a decade. Slowly, he twisted the doorknob, sneaking into the darkness. 

The close he got to your sleeping figure the more control he lost. You just looked so perfect… so soft. His hand crept towards your face, wiping away a small line of drool. He really shouldn't be doing this to you.

Leon crawled onto the bed, dropping the towel on the floor. He peeled back your blankets and pulled your panties down, mouth watering at the sight of your cute little cunt, all wet for him. It was like his fingers had a mind of their own as they moved through your slit, collecting your essence on the tips. He brought them to his mouth, groaning out in pleasure at the taste. Well, it's too late to stop now…

He inched closer, spreading your legs apart just enough for him to fit in between them. You looked so beautiful like this, only wearing a bra, eyes shut so peacefully, cunt exposed for your big brother. His thumb hovered over your clit, barely brushing against it. He was still too hesitant to fully dive in.

He took a deep breath as he began to circle your clit, watching the way your face twitched in your sleep as he touched you. “Yeah, jus’ like that…”

Each sound you made was pure heaven in his ears. Every little whine or moan made his heart threaten to jump out of his chest! He pushed two of his fingers into your needy hole, craving something inside of it. So easy, it was sucking him in. How desperate were you for some action?

He made sure to be gentle, not wanting to wake you up just yet. Each thrust of his fingers was so delicate, simply stroking your walls, as if he were trying to memorize them in exact detail. He might not get this chance again, so why not milk the most out of it? No pun intended.

Too engrossed in your pretty pussy, Leon failed to notice you beginning to wake up. Your eyelids fluttered open as the strange feeling down there started to mess with you. “Huh…? L…Leon? What are you-”

You gasped loudly, pushing him away as you scooted back to the headboard, trying to put as much distance between the two of you as possible. “Fucking freak! Get out!” 

Why wasn't he more scared of getting caught? Why did he look so okay with this?!

He cooed at you, shaking his head as he crawled back over to you. “Not gonna do that, princess. I think we both know what you really want… Saw that video after all. Been trying not to think about you since that night I caught you. You're just making it too hard.”

Your heart dropped to your stomach. All of the pieces slowly connecting in your head. Same age, same initials, same job. You’ve been almost dating your brother this whole time!

He used your confusion against you, pulling your body just enough to make you lay down, giving him an opportunity to pin your wrists onto the bed. “I think I deserve the real thing after you’ve been teasing me for months, don't you?” 

The moonlight pouring in through the window reflected off his teeth, only making his sinister smirk that much more intense. You should be terrified right now. Trying to push him off or scream for help, not dripping onto your sheets.

All you could do was nod, pouting up at him with a scared look in your eyes. You did want this… You just didn't know it would be with him.

He held both of your wrists with one hand, moving the other one back down to your pussy, resuming his actions from a few moments ago. His touch was different than anything you’ve ever felt before. All of the lame hookups you had in the past were nothing compared to this. Your fingers didn’t even feel this good! His were so thick and long… You already felt so full.

It wasn't even 3 minutes until you came, your big brother’s fingers working on you like some super powered vibrator. Your back arched off the bed, wrists burning as you tried to pull them out of his grip. It all felt too good, your nerves were on fire, all of it hitting you like a 90 pound weight.

You shuddered as he pulled his digits out of you, coated in your juices, shining under the moonlight. He wiped them on your sheets, trying to get back to you quickly. Gross.

He moved around, lining up the tip of his aching cock with your sensitive hole, teasing you a bit before pushing in slowly. His head fell forward, bottom lip caught between his teeth as he tried not to scream. You felt so perfect around him, like you were made for him!

He released your hands, propping himself up on his forearms as he laid over you, slowly beginning to move. Soft groans and grunts fell from his pink lips. All of the prettiest sounds coming from the prettiest boy.

“Could’ve been doing this for so long… Fuck- Could've been making you feel good for such a long time… ‘m sorry, baby. I’ll make it up to you… Promise.” You could barely hear what he said, head too fuzzy to process anything other than the way the veins on his cock dragged along your walls.

It was all better than you could've imagined. All the stories you heard that you thought were disgusting at the time were true. He was a creepy, perverted asshole but he’s the best in bed. You’ve never felt more alive than now, stars appearing above your head as pleasure began to take over again.

“Leon, please!” You whined, wrapping your arms around his neck to pull him in closer. Your thighs were around his waist, not giving him a chance to escape even if he wanted to. He rolled his hips into you, making sure to take his time instead of rushing things like he’d usually do with a girl.

“I know, I know. I’ve got you… Don't worry.” He mumbled it against your neck, leaving sloppy, wet marks behind as he moved all over your skin. You were his now, he had to make sure everyone else knew too.

He leaned into you harder as his pace got sloppier, his orgasm building up. He inhaled your scent as he came inside of you, filling you up like you were always meant to be. Leon almost collapsed on top of you, using the last bit of strength he had to roll the two of you over with him still inside.

“Sorry I woke you up… Jus’ had to make sure you knew who you were really talking to..”

[redrose10]

I’m going to be working on chapter 3 of Cold Brewed Love. I was really sick last week and then my toddler got really sick and we’ve just been a mess. But hopefully that should be out sometime soon.

…Last night I had a horrible panic attack. It came out of nowhere and was one of the worst ones I’ve had in a long time. I thought I was getting passed this but I guess not. So to get my mind off of it I wrote this. It’s something I’ve been thinking about for a while, but just never wrote out. It’s just fluffy and funny and cute. I hope everyone likes it and maybe it’ll help someone else feel better.

I don’t have a title so if anyone has any good ideas let me know!!

*******************************************************

Yoongi x Female Reader

Warnings: Swearing, kind of suggestive, anxiety, depression, jealous Yoongi, little angst, maybe bad judgements against foreigners but not in a hateful way (when writing this I did it from the view of an American who speaks English because that’s me so I apologize to others who read that may not fit that role), also fluffy dorky Yoongi

Word count: 3,702

(I included one of my all time favorite Yoongi photos because why not)

When Yoongi first got his military assignment he was less than thrilled about it to say the least. How do you go from writing hit songs while traveling the world performing for thousands of people and collecting records and awards like no one else to sitting behind a desk entering numbers into a computer for eight hours a day? But he understands the why behind the reasons he has to do this, along with knowing that it is his duty so he is committed to completing his service to the best of his ability. He gets up early in the morning pouring himself a cup of coffee before he puts on his uniform and makes the short drive to the office location.

Whether it was pure luck or a carefully calculated choice by someone in charge he was thankful to be working in a quiet building just outside of Seoul. His department was on the top floor. His desk in a back corner, by himself, somewhat hidden away from view. He could show up, do his job, and leave like nothing happened. He was content with keeping to himself, minding his own business, and not going out of his way to make friends. Of course he was polite and friendly if approached, but he was never the approacher.

And then he met you…

When his senior manager told him that he would be getting a desk partner he nodded and politely accepted the change but internally he was irritated. That irritation only grew when he found out that his new partner was a foreigner who barely spoke Korean. His mind immediately conjured up this idea that you were probably some kpop obsessed fan who moved here on a whim. The only saving grace he thought would be that due to the lack of mutual language you both would probably not be speaking much.

He got to work a few minutes earlier than usual on the day you were arriving to work with him. For some reason he wanted to beat you there feeling like he had to lay claim to his portion of the rather large desk. Your computer was already set up next to him. He sighed as he unpacked his bag and began logging in for the day.

Then you arrived. Your work uniform similar to his. You smiled and introduced yourself and then sat down and got right to work. You didn’t freak out and tell him how big of a fan you were. You didn’t even make small talk. You put in your ear buds and turned on some music and got right to work. You brought in a heavenly smell with you of vanilla and sugar. He’s sure it would be called something like Fluffy Cloud Sweet Sugar Oasis and Grandma’s Cookies or something like that if they sold it at Bath & Body works. And he was ready to buy every bottle.

When work was over for the day you told him to have a good night and packed your stuff and left. Yoongi realized this new seating arrangement wasn’t going to be so bad after all.

The days went by much similar to that first day. You introduced him to your best friend Joon-Sung who worked in a different department on the second floor. The first time he met him Yoongi felt what he told himself was just some indigestion from his lunch because there was no way he was jealous of the handsome man that you so freely talked to and joked with until he heard you mention something about Joon-Sung and his new boyfriend and the indigestion somehow magically went away.

Then Yoongi noticed that he found himself feeling a little more excited each day for you to walk through that door. He also started changing his routine bit by bit. He styled his hair a little more, at least the little bit of hair that was slowly growing back after having to get it shaved. He started wearing cologne again, even buying the one he heard you mention you liked after someone walked by wearing it. His nights were spent brushing up on his English so he could better converse with you and in the mornings he started bringing you cups of hot chocolate or herbal tea after he heard you tell Joon-Sung that you were trying to lower your caffeine intake because your anxiety was getting worse.

Then his world came spiraling out of control at the realization that he might like you…like a lot. The last thing he needs right now is any kind of relationship especially with a foreigner. Like sure you were really pretty and very nice and you both communicated well even with the language barrier and you were taking Korean lessons so you were getting better. You had acclimated to living in Korea just fine. Joon-Sung often joked that you acted more Korean than most Koreans and that you were a Korean Ajumma in a young woman’s body.

Your best friend other than Joon-Sung was your 80 year old neighbor Mr.Park and his cat Mittens which lead Yoongi into remembering a story about how you and Mr. Park spent all day hand making cat toys to take to the animal shelter which made Yoongi’s heart swell with affection before he quickly shook that feeling away.

The more he thought about it the more Yoongi realized how much of your life he had grown to know and how much he looked forward to seeing you and talking to you.

And how much he talked about you outside of work.

“I don’t know man, sounds like you like her.”, Hoseok said while having a couple drinks at Yoongi’s on his day off from the military.

“I do not. She’s just nice. We have to work together. That’s all.”

“Mmmhmm sure, that’s why you haven’t stopped talking about her all night. Jimin mentioned that you even told him about her over the phone. And your ears are doing that thing.”

“What thing?,” Yoongi questioned already knowing the answer.

“You know…that thing where you ears get all red when you’re lying or embarrassed. And by how red they are I’m thinking it’s a little of both.”, Hoseok chuckled before taking a sip of beer.

Yoongi couldn’t like you. He’s only known you for a few months. He doesn’t fall that easily for anyone. He knew his last partner for three years before asking them out. He hasn’t even hung out with you outside of work yet. He had your number, but that was because you asked him for it to send over a work file you were going to complete at home. He’s never texted you outside of a thanks once he’s received it. Sure he’s opened up a blank message and attempted to text you something almost every night. That’s normal though. Right? He’s just awkward and you’re just a friend.

Then he saw you walk in for the day. You were carrying two bags of fresh baked chocolate chip cookies. One bag had Joon-Sungs name on it and the other had Yoongi’s. You made him cookies. He thought his heart was going to explode.

When Joon-Sung walked in to collect his package from you he started complaining about how he was going on a date with some guy who loved basketball so now he was trying to cram full of info to try and impress him. He showed you his phone,

“Who is this?”

“That’s Lebron James.”

“Is he any good?”

“Well he’s the highest scoring player in NBA history, he’s top 10 in steals and assists, and has four championships so yeah you could say he’s pretty good.”

“Okay and what team does he play for?”

You sighed, “He was drafted by the Cleveland Cavaliers in 2003 then he went to the Miami Heat for a while and then back to Cleveland and now he’s with the Lakers.”

Yoongi listened as you rattled off basketball facts like nothing with his eyes wide.

Fuck I think I love her, he thought to himself.

Yoongi tried his best to push any thoughts he was having about you far out of his mind. But you were all he thought about. How good you smelled next to him. How sweet your voice sounded saying his name. How you would feel underneath him with his body pressed against yours…

Realizing he was about to really embarrass himself at work he quickly started thinking about that time he accidentally saw his mom in her underwear instead hoping to change the direction of his thoughts but because his brain seemed to hate him his thoughts wandered back to what you would look like in this black lace number he saw was being released by some high end lingerie brand. Maybe he could buy it for you as a gift. Or would that be weird? Quickly he excused himself needing to get up and get a distraction.

When he returned to his desk Joon-Sung was gone and you were typing away at your computer.

“Hey can I ask you a question?”, you said, “I hope I’m not going to make things weird between us.”

Yoongi froze. Did you notice? Could you read minds? Oh my God Yoongi that’s so stupid, people can’t read minds. He was so in his thoughts he forgot that you had asked him a question until he saw you staring back at him.

“Of course, go ahead.”, he managed to squeak out.

“So Joon—Sung is having a party this weekend. He wanted me to ask you to come. It’s nothing big. He does them every few weeks. He’s just social like that.”

Yoongi’s not sure if he’s relieved that you’re not some mind reader or if he’s hurt that you’re only asking him to come because someone else told you to and not that you actually want him there.

But he agrees to go regardless because he wants to spend time with you.

Yoongi doesn’t like to judge people but he’s a little shocked to find out that Joon-Sung lives in one of the fanciest most elite apartment complexes in Seoul. Something about having family money so he works mostly to give himself something to do. Yoongi admits he’s a little impressed and also a little jealous.

He came prepared with topics to talk about. He researched the bands he always sees you listening to even though most really weren’t his style. He looked into your home city so he could ask you questions. And if all else fails he can rely on basketball as a speaking point. He can’t remember the last time he put this much effort into getting to know someone.

He takes off his shoes and walks into the main living area and immediately starts scanning the room for you. He spots you right away.

He takes a moment to look you over. The dress you’re wearing is much shorter and tighter than your normal work outfit. It accentuates every one of your curves perfectly. He sees what he thinks is a thigh tattoo poking out the bottom. He wants to see more of it. You look so good and he can feel his temperature rising. Fuck Yoongi get it together. You’ve been acting like some deprived horny teenager he thinks while making a mental note to call his doctor. Maybe his hormones are out of whack or something. This isn’t normal for him to feel like this around someone.

He watches as you’re happily talking to some guy. Some guy who’s like ten feet tall and made of pure muscle and looks like he was ripped out of beauty magazine. Maybe that is your type. Maybe he should introduce you to Jungkook. At least then he’d still get to see you after his service is up because you’d clearly not be interested in someone like him.

You’re laughing at something the guy said while placing your hand on his bicep.

Well this is something Yoongi never thought about. He was so consumed in his feelings for you that he never stopped to think about whether or not you liked him too or if you were even available. What if you’re already seeing someone? What if you’re happily married with two kids? He never asked you about your relationships since it felt too personal at the time. He feels like the room is spinning as he is trying to find another route when he hears you calling his name.

You walk over and wrap your arms around him in a hug, “I’m so glad you decided to come.”

He smiles feeling some relief as you lead him to the kitchen to get a drink and something to eat.

You’re both eating a piece of pizza when you ask him a question.

“This is random but do you have a nickname? I mean besides Suga or Agust D of course.”

He shakes his head.

“You look like a Yoongles. Has anyone ever called you that?”

“A few fans have online but that’s it.”, he chuckles.

“Well I think it suits you. Or maybe Yoongily Boongily Bear.”

“Okay” he snorts trying to fake indifference but in that moment he realized that he’d let you call him Captain Dumbass if you wanted to just so he could see your smile and hear your giggle again.

Yoongi had gone to talk to one of your other co workers for a while to give you a break from him since you’d been attached at the hip. He was coming back from the bathroom when he noticed you were nowhere to be found.

Did you leave already? And without even saying goodbye. That hurt a little more than he wanted it to. He didn’t get the chance to ask you about your hometown. Now he’s stuck with all these useless facts about some city he’s never even been to.

Just as he was about to give up and head home someone moved the large curtain hanging against the window and he recognized your figure leaning against the balcony outside. Slowly he made his way there.

“I thought you left.”, he said when you turned to look at him after hearing the door open.

“No it was just getting to people-ish in there, I needed a break.”

Yoongi felt bad for intruding on your space.

“Oh I’m sorry. I’ll go back inside.”

He felt electricity shoot through his body after you grabbed his hand and pulled him over to the railing, “No stay. I like spending time with you.”

He felt his heart skip.

The two of you stood in silence for a few moments while staring down at the vast city below.

“I like to look out at the city when I’m overwhelmed or when my anxiety gets too much.”, you suddenly spoke, “I like watching the lights, seeing all the people move around. Some going to work, some coming home. Couples going on dates. Some people are down there having the best day of their life while others are having the worst. It’s comforting in a weird way.”, you chuckled, “To know you’re not alone out here in the world.”

Yoongi looked you over quietly. He didn’t know you struggled so much with anxiety and feelings like that. He knew you had anxiety which is why he never got you anything with a lot of caffeine, but he thought it would just make your heart race or something. He didn’t know you suffered so harshly from it. You always seemed to calm and put together. He felt a strong urge to just wrap you in a big fluffy blanket and give you a kitten to hold as he cuddled you close while telling you it’ll all be okay.

“It’s funny actually. I never really listened to your music before I met you.”

Yoongi gasped dramatically acting extremely hurt.

You giggled, “I know. I mean I knew of you guys and such but it wasn’t really my thing. But when I found out I was going to be working with you I wanted to know about your music and having something to talk about with you. Honestly I went into it not having high expectations.”

Now Yoongi was genuinely a little hurt but he knew everyone was entitled to their own opinions and feelings and that’s why music was so great.

You continued, “I was taken back by how real your music was. How full of emotion and the raw feelings you conveyed. Your song The Last, man I cried after hearing that. To see someone struggle as much as you did with mental health issues and still come out on top even though you had to fight for it. It gave me hope. Maybe one day I’ll be okay too.”

Yoongi thought about every funny scenario he could. That time Jin shoved an entire donut in his mouth and then accidentally coughed it all over Namjoon’s face or that time his brother slipped on some ice and conveniently landed right in a giant puddle of dirty water like he was in a cartoon. Anything to stop himself from crying in front of you.

“Then I listened to Snooze. And that song has become like my anthem. Any time I feel the walls closing in on me or I think I can’t do it any more I play that one and I can feel the gray clouds being pulled away and the sun shining down.”, you chuckled, “You have got to introduce me to WooSung by the way.”

Yoongi laughed with you but deep down he knew he was NEVER introducing you to WooSung unless it was at your wedding after you’d already exchanged vows and kissed and you were officially Mrs. Min Yoongi. Then MAYBE he might let you meet him…from across the room…over video chat.

“I’m glad my music could help you so much. Any time I hear something like that it gives me the motivation to keep going too.”, he said not really sure how to comfort you in that moment.

“How did you do it?”

He look at you confused.

“How did you heal yourself?”

Yoongi found himself chuckling. Not because he thought it was a funny question or anything but he never thought he’d be answering questions like that.

“I mean I don’t know if I’ll every be fully healed. At first I used alcohol. I’d drink until I wasn’t coherent enough to feel. Then I switched to working myself until I was so exhausted I didn’t have the energy to worry. But now I go to therapy and take medicine when it gets really bad. I use music as an escape without overworking myself. I also surround myself with people who I know are good for me. I think that’s really important.”

You nodded in understanding.

“Thank you Yoongi. For helping not only myself but also yourself and the millions of fans around the world.”

Fuck he wanted to kiss you so bad and and hold you and make sure you never felt another ounce of sadness ever again.

This conversation kind of killed the mood admittedly though. You just opened up to him about something that must’ve been difficult and he can’t just be like oh hey by the way I want to date you and hopefully do unspeakable things to you one day so do you want to go out with me? That would be really insensitive.

Instead he was going to simply invite you to hang out as friends, offer to be your support and see where it goes from there.

“Hey Y/N…”

Just then the door swung open and a very drunk Joon-Sung came stumbling out.

“There you are. I looked everywhere for you guys. I figured you were blowing him in the bathroom already.”

Yoongi choked on his spit and felt his entire body heat up at that statement.

“Did you tell him how you love him and you think he has the prettiest eyes and the nicest smile and the cutest little butt?”

“Go.to.bed.Joon-Sung.”, you hissed.

“Alright alright, but if you two are gonna fuck use the spare bedroom. I paid too much for my couch for there to be naked ass cheeks on it.”, he slurred before stumbling back inside.

You turned back around and continued to stare out at the city below. Yoongi thought you were handling this well. If it was him he would’ve already jumped over the railing from embarrassment.

“I’m sorry.”, you whispered when he came up next to you, “I didn’t want you to find out like that. It’s gonna be weird between us now. Monday morning I’ll ask for them to reassign me to a new department.”

“Y/N”

“Hell I’ll even move out of the city.”

“Y/N”

“I’ve heard Busan is nice.”

“Y/N”

“Just please don’t write a song about me. I don’t think I can recover knowing my most embarrassing moment is being retold on stage as seven guys do some extreme choreography while wearing coordinating outfits.”

Y/N!”

Finally he got your attention. He couldn’t help but smile at how flushed you were.

“Can I kiss you?”

“What?”

He used the new boost in confidence from knowing that you liked him too to take a step closer to you. So close he could feel the warmth of his breath bouncing back off of your skin.

“Y/N…Can…I…Kiss…You?”

You didn’t say anything but nodded which was all he needed to lean in placing his lips on yours. It’s cheesy but he felt like fireworks were going off. His senses were overloaded with you. That familiar sweet vanilla perfume you always wear. The softness of your lips. The taste of the pizza and hard cider you had earlier. It made him feel like he could fly.

“So you think I have a cute butt huh?”, he smirked against your lips.

“Seriously? That’s what you’re going to remember?”

He stepped back putting his hands up in defense, “Hey listen, you don’t even want to know the things I’ve thought about your butt over the last couple months.”

“Yeah well maybe you can show me instead then huh.”, you smiled pulling him in for another kiss.

“I would be happy to”