#best burgers hawaii

[butcherbirdhi]

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[vagabond-umlaut]

paper planes

brother to fushiguro tsumiki. (unofficially adopted) son to gojo satoru and you. nephew to a host of sorcerer uncles and aunts. (unwilling) assistant to the white-haired idiot. and, finally, ringbearer at your and gojo's still-undetermined wedding.

one teeny-tiny boy with one too many identity is what fushiguro megumi is - until he isn't. with lots and lots of sniffles and sniggers...

▸ gojo satoru x fem! reader; established relationship; post hidden inventory arc; manga spoilers; proposals; adoptions; alternate universe happy for everyone except toji lovers (sorry ＞︿＜)

▸ two fics in a week, wow. guess this is what is called a brainrot, huh? read this post by @/mintmatcha on tumblr and started writing this lol. but the plot of this story is miles, tons, eons away from that post, i swear. also, this fic is set in the same universe as blue hawaii but you need not read that first to read this. treat this as a stand-alone if you wanna! 😊 anyways, gif, divider and characters ain't mine. please don't plagiarize, translate or repost this. enjoy reading! ❤️

"yeah, yeah, i've got it all planned."

a discreet eye roll is all megumi gives as he goes through the menu card in his hands. a little distance away, he can spy tsumiki and you seated at a table, you tying his sister's long hair into braids while the latter laughs, probably at a joke you cracked.

a tiny smile rests on the little boy's face at the sight - which vanishes when he feels a large hand tousle his hair. you had spent hours and hours righting his hair into a proper shape; why must this idiot always mess everything up?

megumi looks up to find his guardian looking down at him with a shit-eating grin; though he can clearly see the nerves it's covering.

idiot.

phone wedged in between his ear and shoulder, gojo mutters a "one sec, suguru," and crouches down to the boy's eye level. the latter gives back an unimpressed stare.

"decided what you wanna have, 'gumi? remember mom and sis there asked you to choose for them today."

megumi feels an urge to say you two aren't his real parents - but stamps it down instantly. the both of you have been as good as real parents can be to their kids - or maybe even better. the boy has read books, watched movies and listened to his classmates talk about their families; the tiny urchin-head knows.

with a huff, he points at the double chicken fillet burger box - it's tsumiki's favourite and you too don't seem to dislike it. with a nod, gojo rises and placing his orders, returns to the call, beaming expression again directed at megumi.

"yeah, yeah, don't worry, man," he speaks into the phone, then drops his volume to a mere whisper, "'my little kiddo here is a born actor. he remembers the entire plan, step by step - don't you, buddy?"

megumi gives an imperceptible nod, itching back to get back to the table. he already would have - needless to say, the little munchkin prefers your company to gojo's, way way more - but their orders have not been delivered yet and the boy promised to be-

a little tap on the shoulder draws him from his musings and he cranes his neck up to find gojo frowning. "no, megumi didn't want to discuss the plan with me before leaving. no, he doesn't like you better- hey," the man looks at him, sunglasses sliding down the bridge of his nose revealing his indignant gaze, "you wanna discuss with uncle suguru one last time?"

an indifferent shrug is all the reply he gives.

while uncle suguru isn't the best uncle he has, he isn't the worst either. the others are- oh, wait. the others include uncle kento and uncle yu. they are literal angels compared to him. so... maybe... he is the worst... never mind. it's too late to back out anyways.

grumbling, gojo hands him the phone. "hello uncle," megumi greets just like you and tsumiki have taught him to. the man behind mutters something along the lines of ''traitor" or something; the boy pays him no mind.

"hey champ," the voice floats over the line, pleasant, kind and the way people talk to babbling babies. megumi's bored face turns irritated. "let's discuss the semantics one last time before boarding your flight, okay?"

"yeah, okay," megumi says, and casting a sideways glance at his bundle-of-nerves guardian, continues, "we're going to reykjavik," he looks at gojo, silently asking if he pronounced it correctly. the man sends him a thumbs-up with an encouraging grin.

the kid continues, "the plane will land at noon day after tomorrow, which is mom's birthday. first, we will go to the hotel. then, after resting, in the evening, we will head out in a car to watch the northern lights. and then-"

"-when it's the right moment, your dad will pop the question to your mom and you'll click the camera. got it, mr. future ringbearer?" finishing the rest of the sentence for him, the man at the other end asks, sounds of pans clacking and food sizzling in the background. nana-chan and mimi-chan must have woken up.

megumi nods. "yeah, got it, mr. future best man."

a chuckle comes in response to his comment. "you're a lot like your mom, y'know?"

"yeah," he mumbles, waving back to you and tsumiki, a little smile on his otherwise-impassive-but-always-adorable face, "i know."

"good," the man says, then pauses when a loud crash booms through the air and through the phone, a set of two wailing voices following it not soon after. megumi can quite literally picture the wincing frown his uncle is wearing as he says the next words in a hurry, "okay, 'gumi. talk to you later. bye, and best of luck! satoru's counting on his little assistant."

"yeah, thanks," he responds but is too late - the call is already cut by then.

giving the phone back to gojo, who's tapping his sneakers-clad feet on the floor, he looks back ahead, wondering when the hell heck their token number will be displayed and when they will get their food.

to the kid's great relief, it doesn't take a lot of time.

before long, the four of you are seated around the table, gojo stealing a sip from your drink and you stealing fries from him, all the while tsumiki giggles loudly at your antics. megumi smiles, before he hides it behind the burger which he takes a bite from.

the four of you really look like a family, don't you?

"hey, guys, can i have your attention for a sec, please?" your sudden question startles him from his mind. the boy turns to find you with your usual grin, albeit a smidgen of anxiety can be found in the way your fingers drum on the table.

megumi shares a look with tsumiki and gojo. they look as confused as he feels. "do i have your attention, people?" you ask again, manner growing a tad solemn unlike your usual, though the affection is still evident in your tone.

gojo and tsumiki nod immediately. you turn to him, gently smiling, "can i have your attention too, 'gumi? please?"

the boy nods his head instantly. "yeah, yeah. sure," he replies, scooting his chair closer to yours. you send him a relieved smile. "good, 'cause what i'm going to say next is very important. so, listen to me carefully, 'kay?"

all three of them are eager to nod in affirmation and anticipation.

scouring through your backpack, you retrieve a couple of pretty important-looking papers, and placing them back on the table, clasp your hands atop them. the kid spots gojo shoot you a worried look to which you respond with a reassuring smile.

the man's frown fades a little.

gaze now darting from one kid to another, you begin, "you two know, right, we love you very much?"

"yeah!" tsumiki exclaims, but is quick to fall silent when megumi shoots her a glare. you proceed, lips pressing into a thin line, "but we cannot adopt you two, in spite of how much all us want it to happen. we tried to, many, many times. but those higher-ups just won't let us do that."

a second passes - one wherein his young brain registers your words - before, lower lip wobbling, the boy casts his gaze down upon his light-up sneakers.

is this where you'll say he'll be sent to those zen'ins? away from his sister? away from you and gojo? away from all his uncles, aunts, nana-chan and mimi-chan?

megumi feels a hand card through his locks gently. looking up, he finds you with a soft smile. "but the thing is 'toru and i didn't let them defeat our purpose. we thought, you two can choose to be my clan's wards. not 'toru's, because of fucking - sorry, please forget i said that word - i meant, idiotic clan politics. so, what do you think?"

megumi turns to his sister, a pensive look plastered on her face the way it is on his. gojo adds, a tender smile in place of his usual stupid grin, "no pressure, kids. the both of us won't love you two any less and will be equally fine in case you choose not to."

"you guys can take how much ever time you need to think. there's no hurry," megumi hears you say, your warm hand rubbing circles on his back, as he turns back to his half-eaten burger.

a long moment passes.

passengers enter the cafeteria, they leave the cafeteria. the four of you remain seated, quietly munching on your food.

the boy finally removes his gaze from his now-empty tray and sends an inquiring, confused, hopeful look to his sister. tsumiki smiles back with a tiny nod. the little kid feels his heart burst with joy.

"we want to," the two of them answer in unison, and within a fraction of a second, megumi finds himself swept up in a warm hug alongside his sister, by you. "thank you for giving me, for giving us a chance," he hears you mutter quietly in a tear-choked voice. the boy simply pats your back the way you do to him. he soon feels another set of arms wrap around the three of you.

megumi thinks he has never felt happier or safer than in this moment.

a while passes with the four of you in this manner, enwrapped in an embrace, before you all finally pull away from each other.

the boy returns to his seat, rubbing his eyes. a minute passes in composing all of yourselves before you state, munching on another fry, "so, step one, including tsumiki and megumi into my legal family is done and successful. thank you, my loves."

tsumiki beams back at you; megumi returns a tiny smile. you grin at them - which, the kid watches, turns slyer as you switch your focus to your boyfriend.

the little boy stares at you, then stifles a snicker - he thinks he has a pretty good idea of what's gonna happen next. his gut instincts are rarely wrong, after all.

"but, 'toru..." you drawl, grin giving way to a smirk as gojo smiles back - perplexed but loving all the same. "for the step two, making you my legal family too, guess i need to wait to say 'yes' until the northern lights viewing two days later... don't i?"

a beat passes, then another, and another.

a loud gasp sounds from tsumiki. megumi turns to his dad - who's gaping wide-eyed at his mom now, the man's face whiter than his ugly hair - and smirks. just like the imp the goggles-wearing idiot always calls him at home, despite you repeatedly telling him not to.

gojo looks back at him, shock written on, engraved into his features.

"though i didn't really help you propose, i'm still the ringbearer, right?"

▸ masterlist

[transgenderer]

Disclaimer: i am a third generation danish-Bulgarian atheist (1st generation)born in Canada. and i am currently quite high (side note: pack of 50 edibles with 10 thc per for $50 - too pricey?).

a year and a half ago I went with my friend and her boyfriend to a shrek rave (like the Scottish (?)) ogre) in Toronto. Once I got there I realized I had run out of gas and money (my fellows ravers had got there from the opposite direction) and I am a proud man(?) so I did not tell them.

When I parked I learned I did not have enough money to keep my car overnight in the lot with the man with crooked teeth (sorry, I fear I may be a touch ablest/classist) or to join my friends’ dinner in the burger joint below our airbnb. All of this did not bode well when my friend’s boyfriend pulled out a miniature merry pranksters bus and passed out the lsd which had been inside.

I freaked out a little when I first peaked as security took away my walking stick (I was dressed as one of the three blind mice). Then, as per our custom, my two compatriots and I split as I looked for my own dancing partner. But do you know how hard it is to hook up on acid? Most difficult thing I’ve done on the stuff (and that includes attending a lecture on the Ukrainian war (well, raves in the war), driving on a 400 series highway, and ordering a shawarma).

Anyways, I got claustrophobic and went outside for a smoke. Talked with some folks, then started flirting with this odd older dude. The bouncer told him to get the fuck out and this understandably made be distraught, so I walked off. It was downtown Toronto, 1 am raining on the 31st of March in a cold drizzle. And I was wearing a bathrobe overtop a Hawaii shirt. I was chain smoking cigarettes and began to lose my mind. A man threatened me outside a bar, so I walked on.

I got to the industrial district, which sat beside a fence which blocked access to the highway, of which I became transfixed by. Inside the constant flow of lights and metal, I beheld the eternal visage of Vishnu (the three people I consider myself the most like are Jesus, Hamlet, and Arjuna). But it was Vishnu revealed as the Source and End of All Being, and it terrified me.

This vision forced me to dwell on my recent actions. I had accidentally fallen in love with my friend during a time when I comforted her (she had slashed her face because she feared her own beauty) with the story of the second time I spoke with God (it was in a grain of sand on the shores of Lake Erie). I was a fool, and I confessed to this over text after trying to break a window in the Russian Embassy (I failed, it bounced off the fence) and cost us the friendship. Moping about this made me miss the birth of my best friend’s first child.

I wanted to escape this experience with divinity, so I fled. Eventually, I found a quiet chapel and wept at the feet of the Virgin Mary (I was raised Protestant?). This exorcised the vision, and I eventually found my way back to the rave and went hog wild. Met back up with my group, shared a joint and went back to the Airbnb.

We spent the rest of the night passing around a couple bottles of white wine. It was nice. The man with the crooked teeth let me stay until the next afternoon because he likes me. I made it back home the next day after a lil begging in Kingston, and my roommate is a kind Italian communist so I never have to worry about food. All was good.

Anyways, that’s my experience with Vishnu. I do hope it was of some intrigue despite my current poor and inebriated literary talent.

man if this story is true it's aweomse. i want to believe

[galerymod]

Happy birthday, best wishes to Hawaii

This is the official story that Elvis himself invented:

He couldn't sleep at night and took his pills. Then he went to the bathroom – and I said, ‘Be careful not to fall asleep on the toilet.’ He laughed and replied, ‘I won't.’ That was his last sentence.

The unofficial version is that he disappeared to Hawaii and lives near the beautiful Kealakekua Bay.

He works in the kitchen of a burger restaurant and tells everyone who thinks they know him that he is an Elvis Presley impersonator.

It would be best if you went there for a meal and checked whether it's true or whether he's still standing in the kitchen flipping burgers.

Unfortunately, we are not allowed to tell you more because we promised Elvis.

mod

[thebeddrawer]

(grandma Rosiepuff left the house to visit her best friend aunt Kat for the day giving the brozone brothers control of the house Hoping that they will keep it standing….. hoping)

JD : OK guys what do you want to order from the pizza shop?

Spruce : Hawaii!!!!

Clay : dude ewww pineapple on pizza disgusting!!

Spruce : it’s sweet and savory the perfect combination

Floyd: no it’s not Pepperoni with extra cheese!!!!!

Branch : *making baby noises*

Spruce : do you have any idea the amount of oil in it? John remember when we want to throw the box in the trash the amount of oil that fall from the box no, we’re not ordering it.

Clay : I agree with Spruce order vegetable

Spruce : what kind of kid are you?

Clay : oh, yeah, with extra broccoli

Floyd : broccoli !!!!

Branch : * baby, laughing noises*

JD : seriously vegetables?

Clay : when I want something healthy, you guys are all against it

Spruce : you used to throw the broccoli at my face…AND YOU STILL DO!!!!

Branch : * more baby laughing noises*

Floyd: how about burger?

Spruce & clay : NO !!

Floyd: OK, geez you don’t have to yell…..

*JD went to the shared bedroom to grab his savings*

* spruce clay, and Floyd are still arguing about the type of pizza they should get*

Branch : * more baby noises*

Spruce : it can come in family size !!!

Floyd: it doesn’t taste good !!!!

Spruce : oh shut up taste amazing

Clay : the hell it taste terrible….. sweet and savory really that’s the best combination to you !!!!!!

Spruce : you guys have no taste !!!!

Clay : EXCUSE ME-

Spruce : your excused …..

Branch :* baby, laughing noises*

JD : OK have you guys decided on want you want I’m going to buy for each one of you a pizza

Spruce clay and Floyd : REALLY!!!!!

JD : yeah….

Spruce : Hawaii, Hawaii !!!!!

Clay : vegetables with extra broccoli,

Floyd : pepperoni with extra cheese, 

Branch : *baby noises*

JD : OK……. One Hawaii , one vegetables with extra broccoli and one pepperoni with extra cheese and one baby food coming right up!!!

[the0retically]

The Suckening #9: The Monster Within:

My thoughts on the episode because oh my god??? Absolutely insane, loved it. Spoilers below :)

- Not the pheasant sounds right out of the gate

- LETS GOOOO THE MUSIC!!!! Cannot wait for the day that the soundtrack drops

- I agree with Grizz, I love the Weylin twins too, they’re so so cool

- I love this recap, it feels like a Rolled, it’s so fun

- “We have a town house” proceeds to break, Theo pleaseeeee

- Theo just has parents, we’re meeting the Collins family, oh my god

- “Ohhhhh you are less fortunate” SHILO PLEASE????

- Oh god Shilo why are you taking them to the mechanic shop, Jeffrey is gonna be so confused

- GREFGORE LETS GOOOO DEADLIFTS THE DOOR OPEN!!

- “Like my papa! :D” that was so—I love shilo so much

- Jeffrey is gonna be dead or missing isn’t he

- :) I love Grefgore

- “Emizel are you alive??” “Yeah!” “Ok good! :D”

- I love Grizz just losing it in the background

- Oh god Shilo got no successes on the self control, oh no…he can still feed and he can’t even be stealthy about it

- AND NOW EMIZEL IS JUST SINGING WHILE AT BURGER KING???

- “No I need the no whopper whopper” EMIZEL PLEASE HE JUST GRABBING THIS PERSONS HAND TO DRINK??

- Emizel is just a menace I love him

- HE DOESNT EVEN HAVE A CAR HES JJST WALKING THROUGH THE DRIVE THRU

- Doctor Cross!! Aww Charlie!

- “…it’s doctor cross? What do his ears look like?” “Yeah it’s your character dude”

- Charlie sounds so exasperated by this situation

- You can’t stop Grizz from role playing a character in extreme pain and who’s screaming

- Oh Shilo is fully going after Theo,,,,,,uhhhhhh

- I do love how Bizly is describing feral Shilo though

- Oh god he’s now commanding people??

- The music is so perfect for this part, god and now Theo is commanded to help Shilo????

- HES HELPING WITH WATER!! LETS GO THEO

- Ok thank god Shilo told him to run

- Emizel still tackles him, yeah makes sense, just brotherly things

- Oh Shilo :((((

- I get what emizel is doing but shilo is mid panic attack at this point

- Emizel let the doctor go!!!

- OH HES TAKING HIM TO THE HOSPITAL??

- :(( the Theo and Emizel talk was nice it was so short but Theo trusts him!!!!

- Charlie sounds just so confused

- HAHA EMIZEL YOU ARE NOT GOOD AT COMFORTING PEOPLE WHY THE HELL DID YOU SLAP THIS GUY

- Kian Stone is here! Lol

- ………Theo and Emizel….I love them

- Emizel actually being honest with him is making me—like they’re just so casual and are willing to do anything for each other

- Emizel telling him to kill him though if he loses control…..kills me

- “Don’t ask me to improv” ok Condi

- “Maybe he’s taking a vacation, went to Hawaii” Jeffrey living it up in Hawaii, nice

- Shilo is in such a bad state and Emizel is just saying so much because Shilo isn’t responsive, this is so so sad

- “Are they ok?” “Yeah I fixed them up”

- Emizel :(( he’s trying his best to comfort Shilo and the running theme of having a monster inside is so sad

- God Bizly is fantastic, Shilo breaks my heart and he plays him so well

- Oh :( Shilo and Grefgore hug

- “Sorry I was not there to protect you my prince” “I didn’t need protection, they needed it from me” NOOOOOO

- God there’s someone at the hotel for emizel isn’t there

- And now emizel is leaving Grefgore and shilo,,,,,this isn’t gonna go well

- HUH??? Worms???? And now immediately attacked, at least it’s Emizel so he’ll just come back but still

- “Bonks off your hearty hide-why would I say that??” I do not know Charlie that was wild

- Deacon?? Or Hunters??

- HE BOTCHED NO

- “And his husband is me!” “And I am too, we’re a polycule!” LETS GOO CHARLIE

- Oop bye emizel beaten to death by the polycule

- “Shilo is there anything you want to do before going to bed?” “Cry!”

- SHILO VS PHEASANT OH MY GOD????? Now this is the best initiative ever in JRWI

- Wait?? It’s dead???? OH ITS BREATHING THANK GOD

- HES MAKING GREFGORE TURN THE PHEASANT?????

- This is insanity, they’re spending so much time with the pheasant and trying to turn it

- Shilo don’t use your last point of blood?? Uhhhhh shilo???? Please don’t????

- God every time they do flashbacks and it plays the past audio it’s so fun

- GRIZZ TIME

- Oh god the sunlight, Charlie give him Something please

- Oh god Arthur “what a pain…..I’m so sleepy” mood

- OH GOD ITS THE KID THAT HE YELLED AT

- Thank god this family wants to help,,,,,,,,,and Charlie rolled a one

- Please Arthur please Grizz roll well

- SUCCESS!!!! FAMILY STAR AROUND ARTHUR

- “I’m a brave boy I’m brave boy” mood

- God Charlie is making LAX so so bad, why is it this that bad

- “Arthur in the bathroom at an airport, there’s light outside!” YES LETS GO CHARLIE AND CONDI

- “I can’t-kill myself out of this one!” CONDI PLEASE

- oh god emizel, are you back with the weylin twins??

- Nope never mind hey deacon

- ……in a pit?? Deacon just let him go you don’t need all of this

- FUCK NOOOOO EDWARD IS HERE

- Charlie please I fucking hate him

- WHY DOES HE MOAN SO MUCH??? CHARLIE PLEASE STOP

- Oh!! Emizel’s sire is here!! What’s his name please!!

- “Van-papa” ??????

- “Sweaty and bloody in the pit” EDWARD PLEASE

- but!! Gabriel!!! Good name!!

- I feel like Grizz is just having the most fun as the background characters during this campaign

- CHARLIE PLEASE STOP WITH EDWARD HES SO WEIRD

- Emizel and Gabriel banter let’s GO!!!! I miss them going insane with each other

- “I have to kill you, it’s my destiny!” Gabriel you’ve been hanging with Gillion?

- YEAH EMIZEL CONVINCE GABRIEL TO WORK TOGETHER TO GET OUT

- GABE’S A LEFTIE LETS GOOO LEFTIE WIN TODAY!!!

- This combat is insane I love it

- Condi is just dying with laughter, this fight is so so bad, emizel vs Gabriel is always so so chaotic

- Hmmm is Gabe actually trying to leave with him or is he tricky him

- Nope never mind he’s not going to

- This combat was insane holy shit

- HE KILLS HIM LETS GO EMIZEL CURB STOMPS HIM

- EMIZEL WANTS A KISS FROM EDWARD????????? WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON

- EDWARD WAS GONNA KILL EMIZEL??? But instead just blew a kiss instead oh my god

- ALL OF HIS FANGS AND HIS TONGUE IS GONE HOLY SHIT

- Emizel stop testing Edward please

- Grefgore coming in with the blood to help Shilo!!!!

- Oh no the pheasant is out in the streets

- Awww shilo and the pheasant are friends now!!!!! IM GONNA CRY THIS IS SO CUTE

- “Ok where to next…it’s me William wisp” WIWI!!!! HES HERE AS A CAB DRIVER

- THE BOYS ARE REUNITED!!!!!

- …..wiwi is circling the street??

- Oh god emizel can’t talk

- Felipe?? Why did Arthur sound like him there

- “Sure I’d like to not be alone with my thoughts” Shilo please

- A girl pheasant!!! Pickles is such a sweet name!!!!

- Shilo is brooding with Arthur!!

- OH OUTFIT CHANGE FOR GREFGORE!!

- AND A NEW OUTFIT FOR SHILO

- WAIT SHILO CANT DRESS MODERN HOLY SHIT

- Damn sad day for imaging Shilo in regular clothes :(

- Oooh I like the coat that Arthur has

- Blood bond between Arthur and Emizel holy shit

- I love how the three of them are the kings :(((( it makes me so happy

- Fuck!! Emizel has the phone on him and of course Charlie has been taking notes on what they’ve been saying

- PLEASE to Arthur it felt like being in a frat

- “We are all monsters are we not Arthur?” “…What does that have to do with the plan?”

- Grefgore is feeling compassionate as he looks at all of them :((((((((( IM GONNA CRY I LOVE GREFGORE

- Siri jumpscare!

- “Order is him being gone and us too, but he’s a good start” oh I’m terrified if that’s foreshadowing please don’t let all of them die

- But GOD bizly is popping off with these monologues I love them

- “Nobody is born a monster” I love that Arthur said that, that’s perfect for him

- HA PLEASE I LOVE THAT GRIZZ SAID NO JUST BECAUSE HE WANTS TO INTERACT WITH THE WEYLIN TWINS

- “So I don’t plan to leave again” “please don’t” oh they’re gonna make me cry

- “I need to talk to the sheriff” “she’s out right now!” “I need to talk to the…secret sheriff” ARTHUR PLEASE

- Bizly getting so upset that Deacon isn’t actually the sheriff and the badge doesn’t mean anything is so funny

- Noooooooooo not a sex motel again

- Grefgore just placing Emizel in a bellhop cart PLEASE

- Oh my god wanting to make Keanu Reeves’s house their base of operations is so fucking funny

- The numbers are so close!!! Deacon where are you?

- This is chaos

- NOOO they gotta make the Edward face to unlock the phone

- The numbers are just one off :((((

- BIZLY WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT ABOUT EDWARD

- OH THANK GOD

- NOOOOOO

- “I’m blushing, the blood bond took over” shilo pleaseee

- CHARLIE WHERE IS DEACON

- ……….they only have the Edward phone AND GREFGORE HAS ARTHURS CARD

- PLEASE SHILO DOMINATING THIS RANDOM PERSON “one billion points!”

- They have to roll for Deacon and Edward constantly please

- Shilo not knowing how phones work is so fucking funny

- Shilo doesn’t understand a voicemail :((((

- THEY WERE ONE AWAY CHARLIE PLEASE

- NOOOOOO EDWARDS BACK FUCK

- This is sooooo

- Deacon please be on the roof

- FUCK NOOOOO they gotta cause chaos to get his attention

- EDWARDS ON THE ROOF INSTEAD

- I HATE HIM I HATE HIM BUT HES SO FUNNY

- LIKE I HATE EDWARD BUT ALSO LOVE HIM

- “Today I’m wearing velcro” EDWARD???? PLEASE

- SHILO MIMICKING EDWARD IS SO FUNNY

- ……..Arthur wants to set off fireworks????

- Is the Edward phone even going to work??

- THERES A MOAN IN THE MIDDLE OF THE RINGING

- DEACON???? HI!!!!! NOOOOO ITS VOICEMAIL

- THEY DONT EVEN LEAVE A VOICEMAIL THEYRE SO STUPID THEYRE THE TWO WORST ONES FOR THIS EMIZEL YOU NEED TO MODERNIZE THEM

- Sex motel time!!

- Condi…..what

- “Sucking Cells” Condi what the fuck??

- Charlie “I actually don’t like your answer I’m asking someone else” MOOD CHARLIE

- HE ROLLED A 10 ITS PRISON AND WORM THEMED OH MY GOD WHAT THE FUCK

- This is awful, this is so bad, why is this motel like it

- Charlie wondering if the motel has room service and the boys immediately going “there’s guards, prison has guards” IM TRYING SO HARD NOT TO BURST OUT LAUGHING IM SITTING DOWNSTAIRS WITH MY FAMILY I CANT LOSE IT RIGHT NOW

- Charlie sounds so defeated, like he really did just go back on the bit

- The midnight circle!! Emizel has his tongue back! Let’s gooooo

- Edward fucking hell he’s back

- HE OWNS THE SEX MOTEL???

- ………….emizel please don’t throw the phone away

- OH GOD HES THROWING IT

- Ok Griffith park time

- oh?? Deep purple robes and floating down from the air?? —they’re dancing??

- Emizel is so funny I love him

- “You need to take a chill pill” SHILO PLEASE

- oh no, they all turn to shilo, aww :(( Arthur puts his arm in front of shilo to protect him

- Oh god they have to prove they trust each other

- CHARLIE IS MAKING THEM DO AN IMPROV GAME NOW?? One word story are you kidding me

- God bizly is so excited but this is gonna go so so bad

- Charlie doesn’t even let them we really talk about

- Etc. is so smart, let’s go emizel

- …….I miss Viv and Vex

- But I love this device that Charlie is using here because the boys Really haven’t talked about their goals and what they want yet

- The one word story has the same energy as the murder mystery party

- Please just end the sentence this is insane

- NOOOO ARTHUR USES THE MULLIGAN

- “Tell us the secrets of our curse” LETS GO?? I love that

- Oh?? They aren’t on the ground??

- Oooooh they have to be invited into the circle that’s so cool!!!!!!

- LOVED THAT EPISODE!!!

[deke-rivers-1957]

Girls! Girls! Girls! Review

With the established success of Blue Hawaii, Hal Wallis and other Hollywood executives decided that comedy travelogues were the best way to go regarding Elvis films. In fact, to recapture the magic of Blue Hawaii, director Norman Taurog was brought to direct this movie. Additionally, 13 songs were included to match Blue Hawaii's 14 songs.

Filmed on location in Honolulu, Girls! Girls! Girls! captures not only the natural beauty of Hawaii but also the down to earth side. Surprisingly the movie managed to get nominated for both the Golden Globe award for Best Motion Picture - Musical and Elvis himself received a 2nd place Laurel Award for Best Male Performance in a musical. Did this movie deserve the praise through its own merit, or did it rest too heavily on Blue Hawaii's laurels? Let's find out.

"Girls! Girls! Girls" is such a bizarre titular song given what happens in the movie. It's got a good upbeat tune, but for the title of this movie, it just feels out of place. We get introduced to Ross Carpenter, a young man living in Hawaii. He's seen helping a married couple on a fishing boat. At first the movie plays perfectly into the title showing Ross flirting with girls on the West Wind.

We very quickly go away from that when Mrs. Morgan is seen to flirt with him only for him to not at all return her feelings. I'm very glad that this doesn't last long. I just don't think it's very entertaining to have romance drama right off the bat. At least give us a chance to learn who these characters are without adding romance.

For instance this scene alone allows us to learn more about Ross without romance. We know that he's working for this elderly couple because he wants to buy a boat. I love this couple as even though they don't have a big role, they give this movie a lot of heart.

Ross seeing them as family is so sweet. It makes him completely different than the loner edgy man he's portrayed. Not every Elvis character with missing parents needs to be so angry at the world. I think it's great to see that Ross is being productive with his grief. He makes connections with other people and creates his own family.

It's interesting how we get introduced to Robin, yet she isn't the love interest. I think they used to be in a relationship yet for some reason Robin still feels very bitter about something. I can understand a girl feeling upset about a breakup because that makes them human, but she's just so bitter about seeing Ross and you just wonder why. It isn't as if he was caught cheating on her.

"I Don't Wanna Be Tied" is a good song. It's quite fitting for the scenery but it's odd that it's in this movie given what will happen not that long after this scene. We get introduced to Laurel. Even in her first scene I immediately like her character. Her going on a random spiel at the hotel about having birds that don't exist is so hilarious. I have no idea what it was about, but I liked it. She has that nice amount of randomness where it's charming. In a nice blink and you'll miss it moment, you can actually see Blue Hawaii posters in the background. I know the crew had absolutely no intention of making that movie exist in the same universe as this one, but you still can't help wondering how that would work.

So Ross has to show off the boat to a potential buyer, Mr. Johnson. It's clear that he doesn't want to do this but his actions are understandable. He goes to see Laurel for their lunch date but immediately storms off when he sees her with another man. I'm so glad the drama of Ross seeing Laurel with another man is resolved quickly. It ended up being a complete nothing burger as the man she was meeting was her father, therefore it was completely harmless. The matter ultimately has no impact on the plot, but it shows that this couple has healthy communication skills. We don't get the cliche of having this be the drama that lasts the rest of the movie but is instead a misunderstanding that can easily be resolved with just a couple lines of dialogue.

Robin then shows up and I have no idea why she's so upset. Even though she had feelings for him, he's not at all obligated to stay loyal to her. Any romance that they had in the past is over. You basically get the idea that while Ross has moved on from the split, she's just too petty to do the same. Of course that doesn't stop Laurel from considering her as a rival.

We get the Stavros' anniversary party and I think it's beautiful that Ross was allowed to bring Laurel with. It really demonstrates how much this old Greek couple means to him. I wonder how Elvis felt having to sing "We'll Be Together" knowing his relationship with Gladys. It's so touching for Ross to sing this to Mama and in general having him call her Mama is sweet.

Ross explains why the boat means so much to him. This gives genuine depth. It's not a 3rd act reveal meant to be a plot twist, but something we already learn so we have context for his actions. Him singing "A Boy Like Me, A Girl Like You" is nice. I think if we didn't have all these songs so close together, it would've been the emotional highlight of their relationship.

I love how we get actual Hawaii in this movie. This isn't just pretty tourist Hawaii. This is actual Hawaii where the native people live and survive. Paradise Cove is a real tourist attraction for the island of Oahu. It makes perfect sense to film there since it's only about an hour away from Honolulu if you're driving.

I also love how we have a lot of genuine Hawaiian extras. It makes this feel like a real place as opposed to just a soundstage. It also makes Ross feel like a real person as he's shown being relatively familiar with everyone. The Yung family especially gives him a little spice that is well appreciated. It shows that he has made so many connections from various cultures.

I love the Yung family and the Ling sisters. These are not Asian stereotypes but a real Asian family. I absolutely love the casting decision to include Chinese actors and the Tiu family. Like I mentioned about their sister Vicky Tiu, the Tiu family originally came from the Philippines before moving to Hawaii. Having them portray Chinese characters is not farfetched since Manila does have a relatively large Chinese population. Mr. and Mrs. Yung being played by Chinese actors really pays homage to the Chinese population in Hawaii. Because you allow the actors to portray experiences from their own culture and introduce it to an audience that for the most part didn't have that experience.

Seeing Ross use chopsticks correctly is so beautiful. It shows that their culture is not something to be made fun of, but a genuine part of who they are. It speaks volumes for him to eat with chopsticks even with Mr. and Mrs. Yung using forks because it shows how he's taken the time to learn how to use it properly. I also love how he gives Laurel a fork so she won't have to keep struggling to eat. This is a real concept when eating Chinese food. If you go to a Chinese household and struggle to use them properly, they won't mind if you use a fork. As a guest, they would rather have you use a fork and enjoy your meal, than misuse chopsticks and struggle. As long as you show that you're trying to use them properly that's all they can ask for.

"Earth Boy" is amazing. It shows how Ross actually took the time to learn Chinese. Chinese is not at all easy to learn and given that Duolingo and other online translation services didn't exist, you would have to be really dedicated to learning it. This is why I think Ross is bilingual because even though he isn't entirely fluent in Chinese, he knows enough of it to be able to translate what the Ling sisters are saying in Chinese.

The song itself is pretty good. It doesn't feel out of place for him to be singing with these Chinese girls. Since we already established that he's known them for quite a while, it doesn't come off as nonsensical for Elvis to know Chinese. Now I'm not Chinese so I can't speak for how well his pronunciation is, but I give him props for at least trying to tackle it. I also wonder who did the instrumentals for this song since it's not at all a typical Elvis song. If anyone out there is Chinese I'd love to hear your thoughts on that scene and the use of Chinese culture in general in this movie.

Ross and Laurel are one of the most real couples in an Elvis movie. Waking up in the middle of the night to cuddle during a rainstorm is so cute. The whole scene makes you think of the things you would do with your significant other as a teenager. I also love how Mrs. Yung knew that they snuck out but chose to do nothing. It was a quick blink and you'll miss it, but a nice detail. Laurel revealing that she's getting over a bad breakup and Ross supporting her is so wholesome. It's always important to be open about your situation and not string your partner along. Even though you can tell these two have obvious chemistry, you appreciate that they move along at their own pace that feels natural. You want to ignore that they've known each other for a day because it doesn't feel that way at all when you watch them interact.

The next day we found out that Johnson buys the boats. Even though Ross is upset, Johnson is not a villain. No one is the villain here. Mr. Stavros isn't a villain for wanting to sell them, Ross isn't a villain for wanting to keep the West Wind and Johnson isn't a villain for wanting to buy them. It's a naturally bad situation that Ross has no control over. I love the way this conflict is set up since it would be too unrealistic to make Johnson a cliche mustache twirling villain who wants to wipe out Mom and Pop shops. He doesn't even have a vendetta against Ross since he offers him a job. If Johnson was really a villain, giving him the chance to buy the boat wouldn't even be an option.

So Ross decides his only option is to go back to the nightclub and work as a singer. He wants to tell Robin himself because for whatever reason he's worried that she's going to be upset. I know she's jealous that he's with Laurel, but it's pretty ridiculous for her to think that he'd want to see her get fired. The boss of course doesn't care and introduces Ross as his new singer.

"Return to Sender" is iconic. Funny thing is the word zone being used in the song. Not long after the song was released mailing zones were no longer used. They were replaced by what we know now as ZIP codes. Even though it's now considered anachronistic to use that term, you don't really care because replacing it with ZIP code or just code doesn't convey the same meaning.

"Because of Love" is ok. Honestly with how many songs we have in the movie, the only way I can comment on all of them, would be if I talked about them solely on the soundtrack. The show ends and I have no idea what Robin's deal is. If she claims to know Ross so well, she should know that him working at the same nightclub is not at all meant to be an act of revenge. I don't get why on Wikipedia he's described as having to choose between Robin and Laurel. There is no big drama here. He's already made it clear that whatever relationship they had is over and he only wants to be with Laurel. Maybe I'm missing something but I just don't buy that this is a legit drama when from Ross' perspective the choice was already made.

Laurel being upset that she was stood up is very understandable. She already explained that she got hurt very recently and trusted him to keep a promise. Of course it's not Ross' fault because he was open about wanting to get money. Even though Laurel is wrong to say that he was doing it to be with Robin, you don't blame her for thinking that way. Given how quickly he gets the job as a singer, there's no way she could've known that. She did go too far by saying he should go back to Robin but I love the face she makes when she sees him leave altogether. It shows that he was genuine about only wanting the money and has the emotional maturity to not get in this back and forth when Laurel is clearly not thinking rationally.

"Thanks to the Rolling Sea" is a pretty good song given that it has good audio for the middle of the ocean. Yeah it's pretty obvious that this song was pre-recorded but the song itself is an interesting sea shanty. Unfortunately the fishing nets were destroyed by I'm assuming the motor. Obviously that would have to be taken out of Ross' pay. Except it turns out that it won't. Because Johnson is so much of a villain that in exchange for giving Ross his fair share of the income, Johnson will take the loss on the fishing nets. How absolutely awful. This man is so terrible that he's willing to ruin his own business just to be fair to his employee who's done nothing but complain.

"Song of the Shrimp" is so unnecessary. It's good yes but this doesn't fit with the Hawaiian background. Especially when we outright hear New Orleans. It feels like this was just a holdover from when they had the idea of filming it in New Orleans before deciding on Hawaii. We just didn't need another song so soon after the one we just had. Especially since this is now the 2nd song within not even five minutes about some type of seafood. The spacing between each song is terrible. It works as a soundtrack but in a movie it's so distracting.

As expected, Laurel goes to apologize and I love how this doesn't feel forced. Laurel has an established internal conflict that she opened up about. She instinctively reacted and realized she made a mistake. After allowing some time to really think about it, she goes back to apologize. This is a very healthy way to resolve conflict and it only emphasizes just how little romantic drama exists in this movie. There is no love triangle since you don't even consider Robin to be a threat to their relationship. Yes she does have feelings still, but she ultimately doesn't have a big enough role to make it feel like this big choice Ross has to make.

It really speaks to their relationship that Laurel invites him to her apartment for dinner with the full assumption that he'll show up. Ross snarks but ultimately doesn't deny it. It feels so realistic because it's totally normal for loving couples to be snarky with each other. It shows just how comfortable they are with each other's feelings that they know where to draw the line.

In an act of foreshadowing about her background, it turns out that Laurel can't cook to save her life. She knows absolutely nothing about how to operate in a kitchen. She turns to Ross for help when her roast catches fire. It's incredible how we get genuine advice by seeing them looking for salt. Salt/flour is exactly what you put on a kitchen fire involving oils and grease if you don't have a fire extinguisher. Ross making dinner while Laurel burns herself lighting a match is the perfect amount of chaos. This whole time I'm thinking about how Ross is going to be the malewife while Laurel's the girlboss. Even though this was 1962, I genuinely see him as being the one to take care of the home while Laurel works simply because he actually knows how to keep house.

"The Walls Have Ears" has a wild set up. There's a couple arguing next door and results in a lot of banging noises. Laurel and Ross try to figure out what's happening and it's very much implied that the couple next door started having sex. So what do our main characters decide to do when the whole apartment starts shaking? They start to tango and makes you realize exactly what will go down in the bedroom. Ross being visibly aroused makes perfect sense even though it was not at all intended. The song itself is the highlight of the movie

So because Laurel loves Ross so much, she decides to go to Johnson and buys the boat. I love how we see Laurel girlboss her away around. Even her father isn't immune to it. I admit for the 60s it was a little eyebrow raising when it's implied her father thought she was getting an abortion. I know such a topic existed back then, I just didn't think for a non-gritty Elvis movie it'd even be mentioned.

"We're Comin' In Loaded" is once again a good song that doesn't need to be here. This is now the 3rd song about seafood and you just wonder why. I'm starting to think this is now a musical about lonely fishermen who only have sea shanties to help pass the time. Elvis is after all dressed in a sexy sailor Halloween costume. It's honestly incredible how when he sees the boat was sold, he punched Johnson for being a rat. Johnson has the patience of a saint for not pressing charges. Because in real life, if you have an employee acting that way, you'd call the police.

So Laurel meets with Ross at the restaurant for lunch as promised. Only problem is that now he's sore that she was the one who bought the boat. He considers it to be a real betrayal. At first you think he's being very unreasonable and think Laurel didn't do anything wrong. But it turns out that he has his own instinctive reaction. Ross grew up having to provide for himself. He feels like people are only pitying him by giving him charity. I personally don't understand it, but I do know that it isn't unrealistic to react this way. I think even in Elvis' life his family felt that way because admitting you need charity is admitting that you're failing as an adult. As much as this is drama, you can understand why this happened. It's not a moral failing in a new relationship to have a conflict between the two parties wants and needs. It's how they overcome this obstacle that tells you whether or not it will last.

I like how Laurel meets with Robin to find Ross. She's willing to talk to someone she can't stand. Robin meanwhile never gets her redemption as even when she tells Laurel where he could be, she's still so petty. I don't know what the intention was for her character but she's too unlikeable to consider her a genuine love interest for Ross. If anything, her behavior only makes me think that it was the reason why their relationship failed to begin with.

I think it was funny that Mr. Yung has a cat named Kapu that he uses to tell the weather. As much as you think it's just a stereotype, I personally don't see it that way. While it is true that the Chinese doesn't have a superstition about cats predicting the weather, I don't think it's a stereotype to have him believe that. People having superstitions about predicting the weather isn't something that only Chinese people have. Every culture has superstitions and people can believe in things that others from their own culture would think is odd.

Naturally Mr. Yung is proven wrong as not only is a storm about to roll in, but Chen finds Laurel with Johnson on the West Wind. It's very telling that Ross' first instinct is to get on a motorboat with Mr. Yung and save her. Granted I never thought she was ever in any real danger, but given the low opinion Ross has about Johnson, his actions make sense. It's also very sweet how Mr. Yung is so supportive of his relationship with Laurel that he's willing to help. It really shows how much he sees Ross as an adopted son just like the Stavros.

So we get the final fight scene and it's honestly incredible how quickly it's resolved. It also shows that Johnson was ultimately only an antagonist as opposed to being a straight up villain. Sure he was pushy with Laurel, but that only makes him a jerk. Johnson buying the boat back just because he got beaten in a fight proves that as much as he was annoyed by Ross, he really didn't have a vendetta against him. He was simply an obstacle that Ross had to overcome.

In a very quick blink and you'll miss it moment, the motorboat Laurel and Ross get back into actually crashes right into the West Wind. I have no idea if that was intentional since we do get a close up of Johnson's reaction. If it really was just an accident I'm very shocked they left it in, since that crash looked like it could've been very dangerous. This is the real Hawaiian waters so the motorboat could've easily capsized. And the last we ever see of Johnson ends with him saying Ross reminded him of himself, ultimately proving there was never any ill intent on his part.

As promised, the Yung family has a party while Ross and Laurel talk. He realizes that making himself miserable just to have the chance to buy his dad's boat back isn't worth it. That his dad wouldn't want him to working for bosses he doesn't like just to keep his memory alive and that building a new boat with Laurel is a healthier way to cope with the grief. When it's implied that the two will get married, I can believe that. I don't get the feeling that this relationship was rushed at all. This movie shows us that they have the chemistry from the very start and shows us that they can overcome various obstacles. That's enough to believe that even if they only knew each other for say a couple months, that this couple will last. This is one of the most maturely written, most developed couples in an Elvis movie.

The reprise of "Girls, Girls Girls" is amazing. The movie finally lives up to the title by showcasing the various cultures that exist in Hawaii. As much as it's confusing to see kimonos being associated with the Ling sisters who are Chinese, there was a point in history where the Japanese got the inspiration from Chinese traders. Outside of that, it's still fitting to have various Asian cultures given that they make up a large portion of the Hawaiian population. Overall a cheerful tribute to the non-white cultures of Hawaii and a good way to end the movie.

I was very shocked at how good this movie was. The title and the marketing is a complete injustice since you assume it's a cheap rom-com Elvis vehicle with little emotional substance. Might I suggest changing the title to "The West Wind" since that's the actual object of Ross' affection. It's incredible how this title completely influences your opinion only to surprise you with how little focus the girls actually get. Instead we get a pretty touching film about a man trying to reunite himself with the final physical tie to his deceased father. It's not a dramatic masterpiece similar to King Creole, but it's definitely not the throwaway cheap beach film you initially think it is.

Therefore I'm giving this a 9/10. The songs could've been spaced out better and the movie trying to market itself based on the sexual appeal of women just doesn't fit. That being said, if you look at the movie in regards to writing and its characters it's very solid. My only issue is that Robin's involvement in the plot is very weak. If the intent was to have her be a legit threat to Ross' relationship with Laurel, I'd say it was a failure because I never saw her as one. She just comes off as very petty with no real reason why or any chance at redeeming herself. Outside of that, I think this was a great ensemble cast and highly recommend giving it a chance.

An: Happy Father's Day to all the dads out there. I'm glad to have reviewed a movie that showcases how even adults have respect for their parents.

Tagging: @whositmcwhatsit, @hooked-on-elvis, @smokeymountainboy, @atleastpleasetelephone, @stitchlover0112,

@tupelomiss, @vintagepresley, @eapep, @almightybigbrain, @coltswael,

@cieloestrelladoluna, @huhhhhsthings, @arrolyn1114, @peaceloveelvis, @peskybedtime,

@mercsandmonsters, @tacozebra051, @valloos, @ilovequeen978, @elvisvideos,

@presleyhearted, @leiaorganaskywalkers, @kawaiiwitchy, @swingdownsweetchariot, @ruggednessworld,

@gentle-bunny, @atrophyingaphrodite, @jrbrandi13, @summer56, @elvismylove04,

@eptodaytommorowforever, @lookingforrainbows, @araiarts, @fharysa, @lett-them-eatt-cake,

@fryb0rg, @wanderlustingtomboy, @slayingjd, @wildhorseinkansas, @ilovequeen978,

and @jhoneybees.

[hetastates]

Western Wednesday except posted on a Thursday

How each (Western) state acts when they get the wrong order at the drive through.

Alaska: Pretty sure this guy sources a lot of the food that is served in the drive through to begin with. Despite this, that doesn’t actually have any effect on how he behaves when he clearly ordered an elk burger and you give him a Fillet o Fish. This isn’t even a McDonald's — how and WHY are they giving him a Fillet o Fish? Now, let’s be real here, being that far up North will mess anybody up, and being that far away from the rest of your country means that a lot of hatred and Karenage is stored up and bottled inside oneself. And that’s exactly what Alaska does — he just grumbles and drive away, possibly while the food is still in the employee's hand. Will he say or do anything about it? No. Will he write a one star review on Yelp? Also no. You’d best believe that he’ll hold that grudge forever — and probably mutter something about this is why he doesn’t go to fast food places.

California: People may think that just because she’s rich means she doesn’t really work hard, but this is not the case. When she’s not actively on set, she works in various state parks. She loves animals. This job is very laborious, and when Cali gets off work, she’s famished. Oftentimes she’s too tired to really correct an employee if they pen down the wrong order. It doesn’t stop there, though — of course it doesn’t. California is vocal. California is loud. She will devour the entire wrong meal, not even once questioning how she was served a Fillet o Fish when it clearly is not McDonald’s, and then, after the very last bite, after she’s licked her fingers clean, she will go up to the register and unleash the wrath of a thousand grizzlies about how this was NOT her order. "But you ate the whole thing" has no gravity in this situation. Do you know who California is?! Yeah, she’s annoying, okay, she’ll give you that, but will you be able to function without California? Don’t mess with California. She’s larger than life. And you? You’re just an incompetent speck of dust who gave her a FILLET O FISH!

Colorado: Dude, does he even notice? Pretty sure that altitude sickness got to him. He didn’t even drive himself here. No, he got an Uber. He doesn’t even question the fact that he went to a drive through vegan bakery and they sold him a Fillet o Fish that was purple. He can hardly taste the difference. Despite the way Colorado behaves, he is completely sober, but living on the mountains for so long, well, he’s, by default, high. This is some good food, though. Would you like a free coupon? He collects coupons for things he'll never use. It’s his love language, and he loves you so much. You’re so awesome, did you know that? You’re, like, a star. You’re, like, Vega.

Hawaii: Hawaii is the epitome of someone who is sensible and a normal human being. She knows how to party — oh, she KNOWS HOW to party — but in day to day interactions she is the person we all should be but no one actually is. She is the one who says, "Oh, excuse me but I think you mixed up my order" and she waits there calmly for the issue to be sorted out. How did Hawaii ever get so normal? No wonder she’s slowly drifting away from the chaos empire, a few inches annually.

Idaho: Like Hawaii, Idaho is chill. Idaho's a farmer. Idaho honestly doesn’t have the energy to complain. All food is good food, after all. She’ll eat whatever is given to her. She came here specifically so that she didn’t have to cook tonight — she doesn’t care WHAT you give her. Yeah, so she ordered Mountain Dew but you COULD give her dirty mop water. She won’t complain. Unless. Unless you give her a potato meal. Do you think this is funny? Like some kind of joke? Ha, ha, Idaho is a potato farmer, VERY funny, HILARIOUS, BRAVO, do you realise how you come across when you do that? You know, wise guy, BACK IN HER DAY when people made a stupid practical joke—

Montana: It depends on the nature of the mix up. If what she ordered was more expensive than what she got, she'll go up to the front, stern but not impolite, and fix the mistake. She'll circle that Toyota Tundra into the parking lot and walk into the store and wait. However, this does not apply if she’s getting a discount. Did she pay for chicken nuggets and receive a whole rack of baby back ribs? Well dang, guess it’s her lucky day or something! Maybe she should try the lottery! In the long run, Montana doesn’t care all too much about her food — as long as it’s filling and not made of pure sugar, she’ll be happy. Montana is in it for the money. And she goes out once in awhile so that people stop making fun of how cheap she is. She’s not cheap, dang it, she’s frugal!

Nevada: Nevada is strange. When it’s just him, he’s a very chill guy. When it’s him and literally anyone else, whether it be him and a girlfriend, him and a coworker, him and the guy across the street, he can get really uptight and confrontational in an attempt to impress and to come across as something of a macho man. His love for music, geekiness for cinema, and green thumb (as well as his ability to survive 290 days in the desert on a vegan diet — he would never back down from a dare) are really what make him macho and manly, but for some odd reason Nevada thinks that people will be completely wowed if he screams in a fast food worker's face about how he got the 6 pack and not the 4 pack and how he wanted HONEY MUSTARD WITH HIS CHICKEN NUGGIES >:(. It’s like he’s a completely different person when others are around.

Oregon: …. …. … If you don’t understand why he’s sitting there glaring at you as if he’s trying to activate some magical eyeball lasers to completely disintegrate you, then eventually he’ll just drive away, still coldly staring at you through the side mirror of his car. Oregon has a weird way of expressing his emotions which, for the most part, involves menacing stares. He looks like a guy who thinks he’s in an emotional music video but in reality he just looks like Hannibal Lecter got caught drunk driving during a downpour and doesn’t know how to operate his windshield wipers.

Utah: She doesn’t even tell employees that they mixed up her order; she just asks to confirm the ingredients in the wrong order are okay for her to eat. If she wants chicken nuggets and she’s given a Fillet o Fish, she’ll double check to make sure it was made in non-alcoholic batter and that it doesn’t contain caffeine. She could just say "Excuse me, I think you gave me the wrong order, I ordered chicken nuggets" and it would probably be faster and less burdensome than what she actually does. She doesn’t want to come across as mean — and she doesn’t. She comes across as paranoid.

Washington: WASHINGTON is the kind of guy that would go full Karen at a fast food restaurant. He would pound on the drive thru window — in fact, he would climb through it, get stuck, and require police and fire services to pull him out. He’s done this on multiple occasions. No one is quite sure what goes on in Washington for a man to behave like this, but this man clearly ordered a six piece chicken nugget meal. The amount of bad reviews this guy has given is astronomical — and these are long and detailed, too. Washington doesn’t speak to the manager. Ironically, even the mention of a manager is enough to send him running. He just wants his nuggets, man. Why’d you do him dirty like this?

Wyoming: Another sensible being (rare to find on this planet earth), like Hawaii, Wyoming doesn’t really ever want to cause a scene. She prioritises her time above all, and returning a mixed up order would just be a pain in the rear that she doesn’t want to deal with. Something about the bureaucracy and the red tape — at KFC. Whatever that means. She'll glance at her order, knowing very well that this is not what she wanted, and begrudgingly mutter, "Okay, whatever" before leaving. Whether or not she'll be back is debatable. Wyoming does not like to make a big deal out of things. In fact, one of the things that angers her most is when others make a big deal out of things. Anything that can be okay whatevered SHOULD be okay whatevered.

[campcrow2]

1 4 14 18 37 80

1. Spotify, pandora or SoundCloud?

The radio or ripped from YouTube. 🙂

4. Do you like your name? Why?

I do! I hated it when I was a kid. Michael is VERY popular (at least here) where there was multiple Michaels in every class. I think it fits me tho.

14. If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be and why?

I like the idea of Europe. Walkable cities and public healthcare. Depends on the mood tho. Like for a city for sure somewhere in Europe like Amsterdam or something. Or an island like hawaii with less people. Or just for the wilderness somewhere.

18. Favorite tv show?

That’s still airing? Bob’s burgers.

37. Do you read a lot? What are your favorite books?

I read a bit. Less now than I was but I do have a lot of books. One of my best friends on here got me into Stephen king books. The chronicles on Narnia will always be my favorite series from when I was a kid. I will admit I have a LARGE “to be read” stack lol.

80. Biggest pet peeve?

I know I answered this a few days ago but people talking loudly in public on speakerphone and listening to music on their phones without headphones. Like I swear Covid made people forget basic rules of common courtesy in public. I don’t need to hear you fighting with your baby daddy while I’m getting gas.

Thanks for the asks!

[travelloverr]

Discovering the Charm of Union Pier, Michigan

A Brief History and Geography:

Union Pier’s history is intertwined with the maritime heritage of the Great Lakes. Its name reflects its past as a vital shipping point, connecting the region to the wider world. While its bustling port days are largely behind it, the village retains a strong connection to its past, evident in the architecture and the stories shared by locals.

Geographically, Union Pier benefits from its prime location on the shores of Lake Michigan. The lake’s influence is palpable, from the refreshing breezes to the stunning sunsets that paint the sky each evening. The village is characterized by its sandy beaches, rolling dunes, and lush greenery, creating a picturesque backdrop for relaxation and recreation. Its proximity to other Harbor Country towns like New Buffalo, Lakeside, and Sawyer makes it an ideal base for exploring the wider region.

Beaches and Outdoor Activities:

Union Pier’s biggest draw is undoubtedly its access to Lake Michigan’s stunning shoreline. The beaches here are known for their soft sand, clear water, and tranquil atmosphere. Whether you’re looking to soak up the sun, take a refreshing dip in the lake, or build sandcastles with the kids, Union Pier’s beaches offer the perfect setting.

Union Pier Beach: The namesake beach of the village is a popular spot for swimming, sunbathing, and picnicking. Its convenient location and well-maintained facilities make it a favorite among locals and visitors alike.

Cherry Beach: Just a short drive away, Cherry Beach offers a more secluded experience. Its quieter atmosphere and scenic views make it a great choice for those seeking a peaceful escape.

Warren Dunes State Park: While not directly in Union Pier, Warren Dunes State Park is a must-visit for outdoor enthusiasts. Located just a few miles north, this park boasts towering sand dunes that offer breathtaking views of the lake. Hiking, sandboarding, and simply enjoying the natural beauty of the dunes are popular activities here.

Beyond the beaches, Union Pier offers a variety of other outdoor activities. Biking along the scenic Red Arrow Highway is a popular way to explore the area. Kayaking and paddleboarding are great options for those looking to get out on the water. And for those who prefer to stay on land, there are plenty of opportunities for hiking and exploring the surrounding nature trails.

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Dining and Shopping:

Despite its small size, Union Pier boasts a surprisingly diverse culinary scene. From casual beachfront eateries to upscale restaurants, there’s something to satisfy every palate. Fresh seafood, locally sourced ingredients, and craft beers are highlights of the dining experience in Union Pier.

Restaurants: Union Pier and the surrounding Harbor Country towns offer a wide array of dining options. Whether you’re craving a juicy burger, a gourmet meal, or a sweet treat, you’ll find it here. Many restaurants offer outdoor seating with stunning views of the lake, creating a truly memorable dining experience.

Shopping: Union Pier and its neighboring towns are home to a collection of charming boutiques and antique shops. Here, you can find unique gifts, handcrafted jewelry, vintage treasures, and local artwork. Exploring these shops is a delightful way to spend an afternoon and discover hidden gems.

Accommodation Options:

Union Pier offers a range of accommodation options to suit every budget and preference. From cozy cottages to luxurious beachfront rentals, you’re sure to find the perfect place to call home during your stay.

Vacation Rentals: Renting a vacation home is a popular choice for families and groups. These rentals offer ample space, privacy, and often come equipped with kitchens and other amenities.

Bed and Breakfasts: For a more intimate and personalized experience, consider staying at a bed and breakfast. These charming establishments offer comfortable accommodations, delicious breakfasts, and often provide local insights and recommendations.

Hotels and Resorts: Several hotels and resorts are located in the surrounding area, offering a range of amenities and services.

Exploring Beyond Union Pier Michigan:

Union Pier’s central location in Harbor Country makes it an ideal base for exploring the surrounding towns and attractions.

New Buffalo: Just a short drive south, New Buffalo is a vibrant town known for its harbor, shops, and restaurants. The New Buffalo beach is another popular spot for swimming and sunbathing.

Lakeside: This charming village is known for its art galleries, antique shops, and the Lakeside Inn, a historic landmark.

Sawyer: Home to the renowned Sawyer Garden Market, this town is a must-visit for foodies. The market features a wide variety of local produce, artisanal cheeses, baked goods, and other culinary delights.

** wineries and breweries:** The region is home to a growing number of wineries and breweries, offering tours and tastings. This is a great way to sample local flavors and learn about the winemaking and brewing processes.

Tips for Planning Your Trip to Union Pier:

Best time to visit: The summer months (June-August) are the most popular time to visit Union Pier, as the weather is warm and sunny. However, the shoulder seasons (spring and fall) offer a more peaceful experience and often come with lower prices.

Getting there: Union Pier is easily accessible by car. It’s located within driving distance of Chicago, Detroit, and other major cities in the Midwest.

Transportation: While having a car is recommended for exploring the surrounding area, biking and walking are great ways to get around Union Pier itself.

Reservations: If you’re planning to visit during the peak season, it’s recommended to make reservations for accommodation and dining in advance.

Packing essentials: Don’t forget to pack your swimsuit, sunscreen, hat, and sunglasses. Comfortable walking shoes are also a must, especially if you plan on exploring the dunes or hiking.

Union Pier: A Place to Unwind and Reconnect:

Union Pier offers a refreshing change of pace from the stresses of modern life. Its tranquil beaches, charming atmosphere, and abundance of outdoor activities make it the perfect destination for a relaxing getaway. Whether you’re seeking adventure or simply a place to unwind and reconnect with nature, Union Pier has something to offer everyone. Come and discover the magic of this hidden gem on the shores of Lake Michigan and create memories that will last a lifetime. You might just find yourself returning again and again to this little slice of lakeside paradise.

Here are some FAQs about Union Pier Michigan

Q: Where is Union Pier located?

A: Union Pier is located in southwestern Michigan, along the shores of Lake Michigan, in the heart of Harbor Country.

Q: What is Union Pier known for?

A: Union Pier is known for its beautiful beaches, charming atmosphere, and proximity to other Harbor Country towns.

Q: What are some popular activities in Union Pier?

A: Popular activities include swimming, sunbathing, hiking, biking, kayaking, and exploring the nearby Warren Dunes State Park.

Q: What type of accommodation options are available in Union Pier?

A: Union Pier offers a variety of accommodations, including vacation rentals, bed and breakfasts, and hotels/resorts in nearby towns.

Q: What is the best time to visit Union Pier?

A: The summer months (June-August) are the most popular, but the shoulder seasons (spring and fall) offer a more peaceful experience.

Q: How do I get to Union Pier?

A: Union Pier is easily accessible by car, located within driving distance of major cities in the Midwest.

Q: Are there restaurants in Union Pier?

A: Yes, Union Pier and the surrounding area offer a variety of dining options, from casual eateries to upscale restaurants.

Q: What are some nearby attractions to Union Pier?

A: Nearby attractions include New Buffalo, Lakeside, Sawyer, Warren Dunes State Park, and various wineries and breweries.

Q: Is Union Pier a good place for families?

A: Yes, Union Pier is a great place for families, with its beautiful beaches and various activities suitable for all ages.

Q: Are there shopping opportunities in Union Pier?

A: Yes, Union Pier and the surrounding towns offer charming boutiques and antique shops.

Q: What is Harbor Country?

A: Harbor Country is a region in southwestern Michigan along Lake Michigan, known for its charming towns, beaches, and natural beauty. Union Pier is located within Harbor Country.

Q: Are dogs allowed on Union Pier beaches?

A: Beach rules can vary, so it’s best to check the specific beach’s regulations regarding pets. Some beaches may have restrictions or require leashes.

Q: Is there public transportation in Union Pier?

A: While having a car is recommended for exploring the wider area, biking and walking are good ways to get around Union Pier itself. Public transportation options within Union Pier are limited.

[butcherbirdhi]

Local Flavor Meets Gourmet: Best Burger Places in Honolulu

Experience the finest burger places in Honolulu Hawaii, with a variety of delicious options made from fresh, local ingredients. Whether you're a local or visiting, these premier burger spots in Honolulu are sure to satisfy your craving for a fantastic burger.

[rareklub]

A Food Lover’s Guide to America’s Top Culinary Destinations

Historical landmarks, sandy beaches, and snowy mountaintops aren’t the only attractions that lure in travelers. Food has a way of weaving stories, touching hearts, and making places unforgettable. It’s history on a plate. It celebrates culture and connects people in ways words simply can’t. Every bite, every dish, tells a story that’s as much about a place as it is about its people.

From coast to coast, these U.S. foodie destinations are a must-try:

Hawaii: A Feast of Island Flavors

Hawaii is a no-brainer when it comes to food. The islands bring together Polynesian traditions, Asian influences, and classic American flavors to create a culinary scene unlike anywhere else. Imagine fresh poke bowls topped with the best cuts of tuna, hearty loco moco dripping with rich gravy, or slow-roasted kalua pork cooked to perfection.

But it doesn’t stop at the restaurants. Hawaii’s food trucks and farmers’ markets are brimming with treasures — from juicy tropical fruits to seafood that’s practically leaped off the boat. And let’s not forget shaved ice, a cold, syrupy treat that feels like a beach vacation in every bite.

Be it a simple plate lunch by the roadside or a five-star meal overlooking the ocean, Hawaii’s food scene radiates the aloha spirit — warm, inviting, and full of flavor.

Austin, Texas: Bold Barbecue and Creative Comfort

Austin’s food scene is like its music — vibrant, diverse, and unapologetically bold. Famous for its barbecue, this city takes meat-smoking to legendary heights. Spots like Franklin Barbecue and La Barbecue serve brisket and ribs so tender they practically fall apart with a look.

But don’t pigeonhole Austin as just a barbecue town. Its food trucks are the stuff of dreams, dishing out everything from fusion tacos to vegan burgers that even die-hard carnivores rave about. Pair that with craft beers from local breweries and cocktails made with Texas-grown ingredients, and you’ll understand why Austin is more than just a foodie destination — it’s an experience.

New Orleans, Louisiana: A Symphony of Cultures and Flavors

New Orleans doesn’t just feed you — it immerses you. The city’s food is a melting pot of French, Spanish, and Creole influences, creating dishes that feel like history served on a plate. Gumbo loaded with spices, jambalaya bursting with boldness, and powdered sugar-dusted beignets make every meal here unforgettable.

The French Quarter is the heartbeat of it all, alive with jazz and soul as you bite into a po’boy or savor oysters, Rockefeller. Dining in New Orleans is never just about food — it’s about celebration. Here, every meal is an event, every dish a story.

Charleston, South Carolina: Southern Comfort, Elevated

Charleston is the epitome of Southern charm, both in its hospitality and its cuisine. Known for its low-country dishes, this coastal city serves up shrimp and grits, she-crab soup, and hush puppies that feel like a warm hug for your taste buds.

While Charleston has its fair share of iconic fine dining spots like Husk and FIG, its food culture thrives everywhere — from cozy bakeries serving flaky biscuits to open-air markets brimming with local produce.

There’s something magical about enjoying sweet tea and fried green tomatoes while sitting on a porch in Charleston. It’s the kind of simple pleasure that stays with you long after you’ve left.

New York City: A Flavor for Every Mood

New York City is where food dreams come true. It’s not just a city; it’s the world on a plate. Craving pizza? A dollar slice will do. Bagels? They’ve perfected them. Michelin-starred masterpieces? Take your pick.

Walk through Chinatown, and you’re greeted with the savory aroma of dumplings. Stroll Little Italy, and you’re in pasta heaven. And don’t forget Katz’s Deli — home to pastrami sandwiches piled higher than your head.

New York is as much about tradition as it is about innovation. From classic delis to experimental pop-ups, the city’s food scene will leave you hungry for more (literally and metaphorically).

Portland, Maine: Fresh from the Coast

Portland, Maine, might be small, but its reputation for food is anything but. Known for its seafood, this coastal gem offers lobster rolls so fresh you’ll swear the ocean is whispering to you.

Beyond the lobster shacks, Portland shines with its farm-to-table restaurants and artisanal bakeries. You’ll find cozy spots offering whoopie pies (Maine’s official state treat) and craft beer that pairs perfectly with the crisp sea air.

Portland is proof that you don’t need flash to make an impact. Its simplicity and authenticity are what make it unforgettable.

Savannah, Georgia: Nostalgia on a Plate

Savannah is where comfort food reigns supreme. Shrimp and grits, pecan pie, and fried chicken are staples here, served with a side of Southern hospitality.

The Grey, a standout restaurant housed in a restored Greyhound bus station, redefines classics with a modern twist, proving that history and innovation can coexist beautifully. And let’s not forget Savannah’s cobblestone streets and moss-draped oaks, which make every meal feel like a moment out of time.

Miami, Florida: A Cultural Feast

Miami’s food scene is as vibrant as its nightlife. Influences from Latin America and the Caribbean shine here, creating dishes like Cuban sandwiches and empanadas that explode with flavor. Little Havana is a must-visit for authentic Cuban coffee and pastelitos, while the city’s high-end spots dazzle with farm-to-table innovation.

Miami’s food culture mirrors its personality — colorful, bold, and utterly unique.

Asheville, North Carolina: A Hidden Treasure

Nestled in the Blue Ridge Mountains, Asheville feels like a secret foodie haven. Known for its farm-to-table ethos, the city offers everything from smoky barbecue to decadent chocolates.

Asheville also boasts one of the most exciting craft beer scenes in the country, making it the perfect place to slow down, savor a meal, and soak in the mountain views.

San Francisco, California: Tradition with a Twist

San Francisco’s culinary scene is iconic for a reason. Sourdough bread, fresh Dungeness crab, and a dedication to seasonal ingredients make dining here a delight.

From the Mission District’s quirky eateries to Michelin-starred establishments overlooking the bay, San Francisco strikes a perfect balance between tradition and creativity.

Where Will Your Taste Buds Take You?

Food isn’t just sustenance — it’s a passport to culture, a gateway to stories, and a celebration of life. Craving smoky brisket in Austin? Or maybe heritage-rich gumbo in New Orleans is more your style. How about buttery lobster rolls in Portland? Every destination has its own story to tell through its cuisine, and every bite takes you deeper into the heart of the place.

So, what are you craving? Wherever it is, let your appetite lead the way. And while you’re planning your next foodie adventure, travel light and smart with Rare Klub’s stylish weekenders, backpacks, duffles, and totes — designed to keep up with every stop on your journey.

[kattysicecreamery]

15 Best Restaurants with great views in Maui, Hawaii - with map! 2025 Update

15 Best Places for Food around Maui, Hawaii - from Kaanapali to Wailea (map included) 2025

UPDATED: January 12, 2025

We’ve been to Maui every year since 2013, so we know a thing or two about the island. We try and find new restaurants but we have a handful that we keep going back to! Here is a great list of where to eat in Maui, Hawaii! See some of the best restaurants on the island, sorted by area, and noted by price.

There are a few restaurants that were lost due to the 2023 Maui fire but I’m going to keep them on this list in hopes they open a new location.I have made a note if their current status as of January 12, 2025.

Related Posts: How to Spend 4 Days in Maui - Complete Itinerary

Here is a map of the best restaurants in Maui made with the Wanderlog Travel Planner, so you can follow along, add to your Google Maps account, or create your own personal map! Wanderlog allows you to create great maps and guides for any vacation! 

 See our list of what to pack for your next Maui vacay here: Hawaii Packing Essentials

Kahului (Near airport)

Tin Roof Maui ($)

Location: 360 PAPA PLACE STE Y, KAHULUI, HI, 96732

Closed on Sundays!

When landing in Maui, hunger hits. You've been on a plane forever. Pick up your rental car and drive 5 mins to Tin Roof! It's not a sit-down service restaurant (no liquor license) but excellent Hawaiian cuisine. 

Per their website: TIN ROOF is a new generation mom & pop shop, owned by Internationally recognized Chef Sheldon Simeon & his wife, Janice. Raised in Hilo, Hawaii rain is a part of everyday life. Farmers markets keep buzzing, errands roll along, and garage kani ka pila never ends.

I loved their steak bowl - chopped flat iron steak wok-fried with garlic & scallion bottoms & topped off with ginger scallion pesto, served over rice & with a side of our daily banchan. Josh ordered the Sheldon Stay Hungry Special with pork belly and garlic noodles. It was the perfect quick meal after our long flight. 

Don’t skip out on dessert! Try the Chocolate Birthday Bibingka Cake 🌈💗🎂 filled with ube, chocolate, peanut butter, sprinkles, and pop rocks!

10 Best Restaurants Near Kaanapali, Lahaina, and Kapalua (North West Shore)

We love to stay at Sheraton Maui Resort and Spa on Kaanapali beach! See our review here: Hotel Review: Sheraton Maui Resort and Spa

Monkeypod Kitchen ($$$)

Wailea Location: 10 Wailea Gateway Place B-201, Kihei, HI 96753

Kaanapali Location: 2435 Kaanapali Pkwy, Bldg I-1, Lahaina, HI 96761

See our full review: Best Restaurant in Maui: Monkeypod Kitchen

We first discovered Monkeypod in Wailea and were overjoyed when they opened a second location in Whalers Village, Kaanapali! We’ve found that it is the perfect spot for drinks and dinner. Get a Monkeypod Mai Tai with their fabulous honey foam! Loved the Bulgogi Pork Tacos - handcrafted kimchee, jalapeño, asian pear, sriracha aioli, locally-made corn tortilla. Jalapeño mashed potatoes ARE A MUST. They are green, but don’t let that scare you!

Dessert is a must here, we loved the rich Chocolate Cream Pie but they have other cream pies such as Banana available as well. Make a reservation in advance, we used Opentable (they might not be taking reservations at this time, but always triple check!).

See our full review here: Monkeypod Kitchen Restaurant

Hula Grill/Barefoot Bar ($$$/$$)

Whalers Village, 2435 Kaanapali Pkwy, Lahaina, HI 96761

Located in Whalers Village with outstanding ocean views, these two restaurants are not only owned by the same company, they are connected to each other. 

Hula Grill is a little more pricey with delicious traditional Hawaiian entrees including many fish dishes (crab, snapper, shrimp) and land dishes (chicken, steak, short rib, emu).

Barefoot bar is more casual ($$) serving burgers, fish and chips, pizza. The fun part about the bar, your feet are in the sand. Usually, they have live music and entertainment. 

Regardless of which restaurant you try, I love their Mai Tai's which are served in tiki glasses topped with the umbrella! Also, you MUST try the Hula pie! It’s vanilla or macadamia nut ice cream with an Oreo crumble pie crust, with whipped cream and fudge on top (served at both restaurants)! Best part is - they are walking distance from the Kaanapali hotels! 

Merriman's Kapalua ($$$$)

Location: 1 Bay Club Pl, Lahaina, HI 96761

The perfect spot for sunset drinks and dinner, and a fine dining restaurant right on the water overlooking Kapalua Bay. Their cocktails are superb, made with fresh ingredients. The farm to table menu has a variety of fresh fish like Mahi Mahi and savory steak. Make a reservation a month in advance to get in around sunset (you can google "sunset in Maui" and a time table will appear). Merriman's about a 15 min drive from the Kaanapali resorts. Yes, the sky was PINK! Made my Mai Tai much more enjoyable with a view like this:

Call ahead and make reservations or use Resy.com

Aloha Mixed Plate ($$) - BACK OPEN AGAIN!

Location: 1285 Front Street, Lahaina

Star Noodle had taken over their location but as of October 2024, Star Noodle moved next door and Aloha Mixed Plate moved back home to their original location. You get the most bang for your buck here! Good sized portions of traditional Hawaiian fare.

What to order: I went for the traditional Aloha Mixed Plate -most popular combination - shoyu chicken, thinly sliced teriyaki rib eye, fresh fish served with macaroni salad and steamed white rice. I also indulged in a Lava Flow which is half strawberry daiquiri and half Pina colada.

Dessert - You must get the Aloha Pie - Cookie crumble, coconut ice cream, fudge topped with coconut flakes. Calories don’t count on vacation.

Star Noodle ($$)

Location: 1287 Front Street, Lahaina **NEW LOCATION**

See our full review here: Star Noodle Restaurant Review

So many people highly recommended Star Noodle to us, but every time we tried to go on previous trips, there was always a long wait. We made a reservation ahead of time and we finally made it to Star Noodle! It’s right on the water with a great view of Lanai and the perfect spot to watch the sunset. I HIGHLY recommend you make reservation at least a month out to dine at the restaurant.

Star Noodle is known for Asian shared plates, noodle dishes & sake cocktails.

MUST TRY: The garlic noodles and pork buns were so great, they brought us back a second night when we picked up food to go to eat on our balcony! Pro tip: Order the garlic noodles with the udon noodles (they are bigger, thicker, delicious noodles).

We went 3 times in one trip and our staples were the Pork Buns and Chicken Wings for appetizers, along with the Pork Udon (ramen type dish with pork, pork broth, and udon noodles) and the garlic noodles.

For dessert, they did have some interesting ice cream flavors: Ube Oreo, Mint mango, and Pineapple lichee.

Star Noodle has a full bar, but I wasn’t impressed with the selection. Their food is definitely worth the wait.

See our full review here: Star Noodle Restaurant Review

Maui Brewing Company ($$)

Locations: 4405 Honoapiilani Highway #217, Lahaina, Maui, HI 96761 or 605 Lipoa Pkwy, Kihei, HI 96753 and NEW LOCATION in the Outrigger Kaanapali Beach Resort - 2525 Kaanapali Pkwy, Lahaina, HI 96761

Great for a beer (variety of selections on tap both local and from the mainland) and appetizers/burgers/sandwiches. Try the Black Rock dip and chicken wings, you won't be disappointed! 

One thing to note, the restaurant is a 10-minute drive from the Kaanapali resorts, but the actual brewery is closer to the airport near Kihei. 

Sale Pepe ($$) - TEMPORARILY CLOSED DUE TO MAUI FIRES - they are hoping to reopen in 2025 in Emerald Plaza

Address: 878 Front St #7,8, Lahaina, HI 96761

An Italian and New Yorker opened an Italian joint in Hawaii and it is PERFECTION! We had a few of their pizzas and pasta and can’t wait to come back for more.

We ordered 2 pizzas and a pasta dish and got 3 meals out of it for the 2 of us. Our favorite pizza was the Tomato, Fior di Latte, Red Onion, Pecorino, Maui Cattle Co. Meatballs Pizza. They cut their slices in fourths, so if you want smaller pieces I suggest you make the request when you order! Indoor seating also available here.

Lunch at Aloha Braised Food Truck

Address: 58 Kupuohi St, Lahaina, HI 96761

We went here two days in a row we liked it so much. It’s a little off the beaten path but also conveniently located next to a grocery store and near our favorite dive shop, Extended Horizons! If you like spicy, you must try the Volcano Chicken (fried chicken with spicy mayo) served with rice and mac salad! Josh liked the pork belly! Get a side of crinkle-cut fries to share!

Lahaina Coolers ($$) - PERMANENTLY CLOSED DUE TO FIRE

OLD Location: 180 Dickenson St #107, Lahaina, HI 96761

Amazing spot for breakfast (or lunch) just off Front Street! There was NO wait on a Saturday morning at 8:30a! We sat out on the patio and had great service right away! I indulged in the Local Benedict (served over Hawaiian sweet bread with Kalua pig) and did not leave hungry. Josh ordered the breakfast sandwich, which was good, but not as good as the benedict. Their potatoes are a perfect mix of french fries and tater tots! Also, try their homemade hot sauce, but caution, it’s SUPER SPICY if you overload!

Gazebo Restaurant ($$)

Location: Napili Shores Maui by Outrigger, 5315 Lower Honoapiilani Rd, Lahaina, HI 96761

Great breakfast spot, however, it’s always crowded. Try and get there 30 minutes before they open to beat the line. We waited for about an hour after arriving a tad after 7:30a, but saw the most amazing rainbow while waiting (pictured below along with the pancakes that I was too excited to eat and forgot to take a picture of them whole).

Pro-tip: You can go around the back to place an order go (see where the lady is standing in the picture), then sit right on the beach and enjoy your meal with a view of Napili Bay!

The macadamia nut pancake combo with pineapple and banana pancakes made the wait worth it! Make sure you get coconut syrup and whipped cream on top. Their coffee was fresh and strong, definitely order the fresh POG juice (pineapple, orange, guava).

It's about a 15 minute drive from Kaanapali resorts. 

Pro tip #2: park in the free beach parking by Merriman’s then go to the beach/snorkeling after breakfast. Just wait those 30 minutes before you swim! ;-)

Down the Hatch ($$) - TEMPORARILY CLOSED DUE TO FIRES - Hope they open a new location soon!

OLD Location: 658 Front St #102, Lahaina, HI 96761

We went to Down the Hatch on our last day, in which we were heading to the airport. We decided to order breakfast to go to enjoy at a park along the beach! My breakfast burrito was amazing with a chipotle aioli sauce of some sort and the coffee was freshly brewed.

The downside, if I may, was that football games were on and the restaurant was super busy, taking about 30 mins for my food to go.

Best Restaurants in Wailea

Ferraro’s Bar e Ristorante at the Four Seasons Wailea ($$$)

Location: Four Seasons - 3900 Wailea Alanui Dr, Kihei, HI 96753

After being in Maui for a few weeks, we hadn’t had much Italian food and were so excited about our reservation at Ferraro’s! We came hungry and ordered a lot of food for 2 people…

For an appetizer, we started with the Al Forno Fired Focaccia Bread (Nduja Butter, Roasted Garlic, Maui Olive Oil, Fried Rosemary), which was fantastic. The Nduja Butter was made with salami and was rather tasty.

For dinner, I ordered the Pappardelle A.O.C. Ragu Bolognese (Pork and Beef Ragu, Shaved Pecorino, Fiore Sardo) and there wasn’t a bite left. Josh ordered the Spaghetti Carbonara (Guanciale, Organic Egg, Pecorino Romano, Black Pepper) heavy white cream sauce with a pepper kick. Good, but not our favorite. Call us crazy, but we ordered a side of Gnocchi (Brown Butter, Rosemary, Black Truffle), yes, we ordered a side of pasta to go with our pasta and don’t regret it one bit. It was the best gnocchi we’ve ever had.

You’d think we’d stop there after all the carbs, but no, we went for dessert. So, we liked the options on the regular menu but saw there was an Apple Pie with Vanilla ice cream on the kids/teens menu, and that’s what we went with. It came out looking like a tart and was perfect.

This is one of our new favorite restaurants and we will definitely come back.

Lineage in Wailea ($$$)

Location: 3750 Wailea Alanui Dr, Wailea, HI 96753

You might recognize Chef Sheldon as a finalist on the show Top Chef, and after trying his food and drinks you can see why he made to the finals! His theme is eat, drink, and talk story - which is what we did at Lineage!

DRINKS: The Mai'a Tai is different from most Mai Tais but has a delicious spin to the tiki classic. Mai'a Tai - Banks 5 Rum, Banana Milk Punch, Walnut, Pecan, Giffard Apricot de Rousillon, Lime, Almond~Spice Liqueur

FOOD: Josh and I split the Korean Fried Chicken and had both the Sweet Kochujang and Spicy Jalapeno Garlic - Crispy fried chicken, pickled kohlrabi, sesame seeds, peanuts and kochujang glaze. The chicken was tender and perfect with a light kick but not too spicy. Complimentary tea was served to cleanse our palettes and savor our dishes.

DESSERT: We were pretty full but had to try dessert! We had the sherbet flavors cinnamon leaf and POG (Pineapple, Orange, Guava juice). The pog was so tangy and refreshing while the cinnamon leaf had a spice to it. Very yin and yang!

HUMUHUMUNUKUNUKUAPUA'A ($$$)

Location: Grand Wailea - 3850 Wailea Alanui Dr, Wailea, HI 96753

Easy for you to say! This was our favorite place to get a drink a fancy cocktail in the bar and watch the sunset. Humuhumnukunukuapua’a means triggerfish with a snout like a pig (it’s a reef triggerfish). Their recipe for The Grand has a lighter taste without the dark rum and topped off with a wonderfully sweet pineapple vanilla foam. 

Make reservations ahead of time for dinner here, the menu looks fantastic!

Wolfgang Puck’s Spago at the Four Seasons Wailea ($$$$)

Location: Four Seasons - 3900 Wailea Alanui Dr, Kihei, HI 96753

DRINKS: The mixologists at Spago have come up with some really inventive, and delicious, takes on the Mai Tai, giving that floating in the ocean without a care in the world feeling!

The 1944 - Plantation Xaymaca Run, Duquesne Aged Rhum Agricole, Dry Curacao, Lime

The Spago Maui - Plantation Pineapple Rum, Koloa Dark Rum, 151 Proof Rum, Apricot Brandy, Almond, Lime, Pineapple

The Stirred - Plantation Xaymaca Rum, Duquesne Aged Rhum Agricole, Plantation Pineapple Rum, Dry Curacao, Citrus Oils

FOOD: We enjoyed a nice sunset dinner overlooking Wailea Beach. Adam Sandler was sitting at the table next to us! For dinner, I savored the Pan Roasted Puna Chicken with surfing goat cheese, chili, garlic, and roasted Aloun Farm's vegetables and Josh had the Wiener Schnitzel with marinated fingerling potatoes, watercress, and Styrian pumpkin seed oil.

Don’t forget dessert! Try the decadent Valrhona Chocolate Soufflé topped with Guanaja Valrhona chocolate sauce & vanilla ice cream! So rich and delish!

MONKEYPOD KITCHEN

Don’t forget, there is a Monkeypod Kitchen in Wailea too! See the Kaanapali section for more or see our full review here: Monkeypod Kitchen Restaurant

Best Restaurant in Paia / Road to Hana

Mama’s Fish House  ($$$)

Location: 799 Poho Pl, Paia, HI 96779

Great for dinner and drinks on the North Shore. We went here on our way back from the Road to Hana adventure. See our guide here: ROAD TO HANA GUIDE

I'm not a fish person particularly, but I did try some and it was the best fish I’ve ever had. I enjoyed their short rib and a couple of Mai Tai's (love that it's served in a tiki glass)!

Make a reservation in advance, we used Opentable. Parking is valet only. 

BONUS: MAUI COFFEE AND ICE CREAM SUGGESTIONS!

 Island Cream Company ($)

Location: 305 Keawe St #511, Lahaina, HI 96761

I'm not sure Island Cream Company just tastes better because it's in Hawaii (everything is better in Hawaii) or if it's their original recipe with the perfect mix of gelato and ice cream. All ice creams are hand made as well as their cones, fudge and other fun toppings. Most ice creams are natural and products are bought locally.

My favorite was the Maui-Loco filled with Macadamia nuts, chocolate chips and caramel in a creamery coconut ice cream base. So refreshing and delicious!

See our full review here: Island Cream Co

Coffee and Breakfast at Island Press Coffee

Address: 2580 Kekaa Dr STE 104, Lahaina, HI 96761

You can’t go wrong with an egg, cheese, and bacon croissant with a Mac nut latte! They also have other croissant variations as well as other pastries (try the crumb cake). We went here twice, taking our breakfast to go to enjoy on the beach!

Grandma’s Coffee ($)

Location: 9232 Kula Hwy, Kula, HI 96790

Perfect place for coffee and breakfast if you're attempting the back way to Hana. Fresh coffees, espresso drinks and pastries will leave your tummy happy and full.

From central Maui, head up Haleakala Highway 37 from the Hana Highway. Following Highway 37 traverse Haleakala Crater while enjoying the spectacular upcountry Maui views. Continue on to the picturesque community of Keokea, home of Grandma's Coffee House. Grandma's is a short distance from the Kula botanical Gardens and on the way to Tedeschi Vineyards.

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MORE MAUI, HAWAII Travel Inspiration, Hacks, and Tips:

[neurodivergentrantsifpromted]

I’ve decided to make a blog introduction post!

Here are some opinions I have:

Trans rights are human rights

Comedians should not be canceled for commenting on current events by making fun of it.

Chess is fun

Water is a human right

Gay people are fine

Squishmallows are the best plush type

Healthcare should be free

Confusing small children on the internet is an art form

Here is some medias!

The Magnus archives

Hawaii part ii

One shot

Slime rancher

Dungeon flippers

ENA (by Joel g)

ONE (on YouTube)

The dragon prince

Over the garden wall

The owl house

Dr who

Balatro (after a bit download the cryptid mod)

The left right game

Vita carnis

Midnight burger

[nfornaomi]

A collection of food we enjoyed in Hawaii 😋. Notable highlights:

- Açai bowls and ahi tuna burgers at Barefoot Beach Cafe

- Cajun mahi mahi and seafood pasta at Paia Fish Market

- Udon at Marugame Udon

- Ice cream crepes with peanut brittle at Mosa

- Maladadas at Leonard's Bakery

- Best guacamole ever at Heavenly Hawaii Kai

- French toast and pesto pasta at Goofy Cafe

- Avocado and pineapple burgers at Kua Aina Sandwich Shop

- Chocolate haupia pie at Ted's Bakery

[themanhattanfoodproject]

Some food highlights from my travels this year:

The vegan burger at Monk’s Cafe in Philadelphia topped with bacon and cheddar. I could detect real vegetables in the “patty” and since it was a bit of a later lunch and we had an earlier-than-expected dinner reservation that night, I actually liked that I got a balance of light and substance in this meal. The bourbon mayo, however, is something I need to bring into my life as soon as possible. My husband wants to make fried chicken for his birthday--this might be a surprise treat to go with it.

Strozzapreti with shrimp and scampi butter at Teller’s in Oklahoma City. This place was cooler for lunch than dinner, but I still was inspired by that dinner to fuck around with something similar, and while I’m still tweaking the recipe, I’m feeling optimistic that I’m close on this one.

Cajun shrimp cocktail at Parson’s Chicken and Fish in the Andersonville neighborhood in Chicago. I love this restaurant, and this was my first visit to the Andersonville outpost, and the Cajun shrimp cocktail just spoke to me at the time. Served with some spicy cocktail sauce along with remoulade, it’s been one of my favorite versions of shrimp cocktail in a minute.

Mozzarella di bufala with tomato confit pizza from Stanzione 87 in downtown Miami. Sadly, this amazing pizzeria closed a few months ago, which sucks because I only got to have their pizzas twice in the span of six months, but I’m glad I got to enjoy it while I had the chance. Did it inspire the tomato confit pasta I have since made and enjoyed? Yes.

The Basque-style chorizo sandwich with Basque salad from Louis’ Basque Corner in Reno, NV. I can’t say that I loved the food in Reno, but this place was heralded and for good reason--it might be the best Basque food I’ve had in the US. This place is delightfully unassuming and the staff is really friendly, and it was the best meal we had in The Biggest Little City. 

The vegetarian and chicken dumplings at Ah Chun Shandong Dumpling in Famous Foods Street Eats in Resorts World, Las Vegas. This was my first exposure to Famous Foods Street Eats, and I am kind of mad about that because every stall was open when my husband and I were there on this one-night stopover, but on a subsequent trip in April, this place never opened, even for dinner. I really wanted to have these dumplings again!

The mochiko fried chicken thighs at Kuleana Rum Works in Waikoloa Village, Hawaii. To be frank, the poke was the most inspiring food I enjoyed, but most of it came from the local grocery store where they would make it fresh until 5PM daily, so I’d have it in to-go containers either in my hotel room or at a table in the bar area of the hotel that wasn’t open until the evening so they didn’t care. Mochiko fried chicken, which is made with cornstarch and sweet rice flour, is absolutely outstanding. The best fried chicken we had on Hawai’i was at Broke Da Mouth Grindz, but the Kona store has sadly been closed since May due to a fire at a laundromat next door , and I hope they are able to reopen sooner rather than later. They have other locations open on other islands, but it sucks to see such a wonderful place closed for something completely out of their control.