#bert and earnie sesame street

[hyper-coasters]

Ernie also greets you, standing guard across from Bert just outside of Sesame Street's Christmas Village.

[futurebird]

CW *Extreme* Wholesomeness.

(Via the fediverse/mastodon: https://sauropods.win/@Euan@stctp.zone/110861069339281320 )

[kinialohaguy]

Random Stuff

Aloha kākou. Waiting for the Clown Network News (CNN) to start the Presidential debate. The Communist News Network released a video in Sesame Street format explaining how podiums, lights, and microphones work. Apparently, CNN has never heard of a mute button. Watch and enjoy Bert and Earnie present a “how to video” on how a fake news CNN debate works. It’s electrifying and condescending all at…

[littlewalken]

feb 20

And we all agreed that no one would ever tell Peter Noone what Oh You Pretty Things was really about, ever, and the world was a better place for it.

Okay, finally had 24 hours here. First off The Pile was dealt with in a combination of stacking it more properly to take up less space, sorting a portion of it in to like items, and creating a different pile of at least two beach wagon loads of things that can go because we don't need them here or haven't needed or used them since we left the blue carpet house.

We're down to one iron, the nice purple and stainless steel one from this century. We're down to one small cube shaped ice chest, the one with a spout, still have bigger ones and thermal bags we're more inclined to use. I accept that part of it was because our greedy cousins kept the ice chests we had with us when we were homeless.

Once upon a time we needed sandwich keepers in three different colors, with matching thermoses that didn't get used as much, but now we don't. They get to go. That does mean replacement sandwich keepers but that's nothing.

It was firmly stated and agreed upon that I will purposefully go cold before I even look at a fleece jacket that the Life Ruiner wore a lot and... I thought her trash had been gotten rid of when we moved in to the shit shack.

Things have been packed up for so long I forgot I had killer whales in my bathroom at the blue carpet house.

But the Sesame Street cake pans are in the same place at the same time now, did just recently get Bert and Earnie, and now I want to hang them on the wall to display them.

One idea I have is to get some pegboard sheets, place them against the wall, have a short shelf or something in front of them to hold them up, and... I don't think it's exactly in the rules but with this place we're definitely going for a no holes in the walls poster putty everything approach.

And I found some of the record albums I want to frame and display, I thought the Shock Treatment soundtrack had that thing where the cover gets worn in a round pattern by the record, it's fine. I need to count the singles and the doubles so I know how many of each to get. My posters are here but I'm not flattening the ones I want to use out until after all the stuff is here because I'd need room to get around the work table I'd put them on.

Was just about to go astronaut time on a project yesterday but I need to be in contact to expedite the sorting and getting rid of non personal objects we have too many of right now.

Did get to some working out different ideas for Grease 2 in Imagination Land tho :)

[pamsplunder]

Check out this listing I just added to my Poshmark closet: Sesame Street, Daddy of the Birthday Boy T-Shirt SZ XL.

[sock-moss]

I am 100% sleep deprived and feeling undead rn But like yeah okay whatever. I was however not prepared to stand in my kitchen squinting at a cabinet because I’m trying to figure out what Ernie and berts names are. I stood there and legitimately repeated Bernie and Ert five times in my head while trying to figure out what was wrong with those names until I actually got it right on the 6th or 7th try.

[onthebirdroads]

fellow aces stop being homophobic challenge

Please stop. This is not a win for ace rep. This is homophobia.

Sesame Workshop saying that Bert and Earnie aren’t in a relationship because “muppets aren’t sexual” (despite the existence of other muppets in relationships) is just short of them explicitly saying “gayness is about sex and nothing else.” This is a heavily ingrained, very damaging misconception that the queer/LGBTQ+ community has been working to dismantle for decades.

Are all the muppets asexual? Maybe! Is that what’s important right now? NO.

What’s important is the fact that “muppets aren’t sexual” doesn’t stop them from putting straight couples in the show, and it shouldn’t stop them from putting gay couples in the show.

Edit: for the record, this is about two specific posts I saw while scrolling through the trending posts, two posts out of a whole heap of others. This post is not an open invitation to hate asexual people or to make sweeping generalisations.

[procrastination-queen-443]

Congrats to these guyss!! It's nice 2 see some representation, even if the network claims otherwise, which is just stupid because with all that's going on in the world gay puppets are the least of their concerns

[deanwasalwaysbi]

HAHAHAHAHAHA

GASP they did.

[fanficmemes]

So. There is this fic. Where Big Bird use a ritual with muppet sacrifice to make Mr.Hooper return to life, but he return as a zombie that start killing everyone in sesame street.

It is only 1700 word.

But OH BOY the cursed. I cannot speak about it without sending quotes to describe some of the parta, cause like, this is a masterpiece.

""So he drew a pentagram on the ground with chinese symbols on it. Then he grabbed Elmo and cut his intestines open with a knife, spreading all the shit-filled bowels like butter on a sandwich.

"Oh yeah cut Elmo open like a salad of fermented monotreme madness!" moaned Elmo whorefully and anti-feministically.""

This is like the start and already we are peaking. So, Mr. Hooper return to life, with: "his eyes red as the venemous cunt of a raped enchilada and his skin green like putrid herpes vigor".

If there is one thing dead dove crack fic always get, is DESCRIPTIONS.

After the sacrifice function Big Bird wanted to be fucked in his cloaca by Hooper, but he refuse, and prefer to rape Oscar the grouch with a broken glass bottle. We also get to know Oscar eat aborted babies, of which he have a collection in his trashcan. Big Bird jelous kill the Grouch, that mean:

"In doing so, Oscar's bowels unleashed a massive torrent of putrid yellow diarrhea, which Mr Hooper drank with much pleasure."

Hykes.

After traumatizing us with this, Mr.Hooper start burning alive muppets and eating their genitalia.

"Then he shoved her into a sawmill and obliterated her flesh into a million bloody pieces, forcing them all down Cookie Monster's mouth.

"Oh God I'm gonna be sick!" barfed Cookie Monster, vomitting his own stomachal lining, but Mr. Hooper squeezed his balls, prompting him to sadly devour more of Abby's pieces."

Also the Count apparently really like this (?) and start masturbating with a pencil sharpener, while Grovel think maybe it is better to suicide.

""I'm going to remove the fetus of my own life!" cried Big Birds sadly, putting the coat hanger in his eyelids.

"No, don't kill yourself, to sacrifice to one's misery for the bliss of death is to deny reality it's fair due!"

"Weren't you about to comit suicide as well?"

"Fuck you Big Bird!""

Masterpiece i tell you. MASTERPIECE.

Mr Hooper decide he need to kidnap every children of the city to make the bigger flesh dildo ever made. Also he explode Baby Bear.

At the end Big Bird decide that he have to kill Mr.Hooper again, and go to the library to find a ritual. There he find Bert and Ernie having bdsm sex, that when discovered what is happening decide to help him. That mean they have a threesome and doing that magically the book they need get out of the bookshelf.

And this scene happen:

""Good, they even got the ingredients we need!" said Big Bird, pointing at Baby Bear's putrid remains.

Big Bird ate the rotten bear flesh, then did a twirl, and bright white light began to envelope him. Earnie couldn't believe it, Big Bird turned into Sailor Saturn!

"By the power of Satan, be raped by wapanese cocks by all eternity!" said Big Bird with the gigantic buckteeth he acquired.

"NNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Mr. Hooper said meanly, but it was too late, pink light began to glow on his limbs.""

Everything is well what finish well.

And also Big Bird rip out his face.

In all of this, i need to recount the best quote of the fic:

"Why could life not fall into the enthropy driven despair of emancipation, why does the price always become more expensive than the desire outcome of a heart so tainted by the condolences of fate? Why was fairness not an universal factor that drives correspondency to its full potential, to ensure a better trade by which our capacities are judged? Why did he have to lose so much to gain nothing at all?"

MASTERPIECE of cursed crack.

10/10 read it and wished I hadn’t!!!

[chadprez]

bert and earnie are the fruitiest characters there on sesame street

convince me otherwise

[travelingthemultiverse]

One year on Christmas Eve when I was maybe about half my current age, I had a nightmare where I went to the basement and there were some Sesame Street characters. Specifically the blue one that spoke Spanish and Earnie & Bert. The weird thing was, there were two Earnies and two Berts, and they were building something I think? Not sure, but they weren’t talking. Just moving long pieces of wood.

The blue one (I think her name is Rosita or Rosie or something?) warns me not to interrupt them, but being like, 6-8 I didn’t listen and I say hi or something, I think I was waving my arm.

They freeze and slowly turn their heads towards me, and I am very frightened, and run away. The two berts and two Earnie’s proceed to chase me around the house, saying nothing. Just.... chasing.

At one point I lost them. They were outside and I was on the second floor. I sigh and put my forehead to the window, then they suddenly had somehow stacked themselves and one of them, don’t remember which one, was right in front of me.

I remember that almost vividly to this day, and may be part of the reason why I don’t like muppets in the slightest. especially Kermit. My opinion may be controversial, but I really don’t like Kermit.

[greatdistractions]

[ID a venn diagram of R2D2 and C3PO; Elphaba and Galinda; Bert and Earnie. "War crimes but like by accident, mostly," applies to the Star Wars and Wicked pairs. "Long yellow one with anxiety and a short king," applies to the Star Wars and Sesame Street pairs. "Oh my god, they were roommates," applies to the Wicked and Sesame Street pairs. Connecting them all is, "The Odd Couple pastiche." END ID]

i’ve been workshopping this idea for like three days and i think i finally cracked the code

[demonicseries]

Now I’m just thinking about what would happen if the winchesters went to Sesame Street.

————————————-

Dean: I’m Dean, and this is my brother sam. We hunt monsters

Elmo: Monsters? But Elmo and Elmo’s friend’s are all monsters! Surely, you aren’t here for us.

Dean: that depends. Are you connected to the death of one of the muppets?

Elmo: Are you asking if Elmo killed someone?! Elmo is 3!!! Elmo may be a monster but Elmo is a friendly monster!

Jack: cool! we’re the same age!

——————————-

Sam: right here is the location of the vamps nest Big Bird told me about

*Sam and Dean enter* *the organ plays*

The Count: One! Ahaha. Two! Ahaha. Two people who shouldn’t be here!

Dean: keep talking and you’re gonna have one ahaha head on the ground, Dracula

————————

Cas: are those the supernatural books?

Bert: Yep. Earnie and I are big fans. Right, Ernie?

Ernie: you sure are, Bert. I’m willing to bet my rubber ducky that Dean and Cas are gay.

————————

Sam: so can you tell me about the different types of residents at Sesame Street?

Big Bird: Well, there’s the lovable monsters like Grover, Elmo, and Zoe. Then we have our local vampire, the Count. He loves counting. There’s big bird (that’s me), and then there’s just good ol’ Snuffaluffagus. He wouldn’t hurt a fly.

Snuffaluffagus: my mortal form has fallen weak and I need to consume the blood of these creatures to sustain it. And I grow weaker by the second, which begs the question: who shall be my next victim?

Big Bird: See? He’s such a great pal!

you know what? muppetnatural is the best take i’ve seen in a long time. obviously for the muppets to make an appearance plot-wise, there’d have to be a muppet murdered, to which i nominate walter. Also, imagine what the ep would be like:

- dean gets a phone call. It’s Kermit. he’s asking for help cause something killed walter. dean thinks its a prank call and hangs up

- kermit shows up at the bunker. dean punts him across the room in shock. (kermit is fine)

- it’s 100% necessary that kermit swears the whole episode. let kermit say fuck

- after explaining the situation, dean, sam, cas, and jack, all get in the car and drive to where ever the muppets live

- Cas and Jack are eagerly interrogating/talking to the muppets, being friendly, while dean and sam argue about the how this is even possible

- i have no idea how the rest of the plot goes, just that the episode should end with the muppets and tfw 2.0 at a bar all singing along to “rainbow connection”