#benji's blurbs

[unconventional-lawnchair]

...Too Late."

Remus Lupin x Potter!Reader

Summary: Remus comes to terms with a love lost to his own insecurities.

CW; Use of {Y/N}, Remus is dumb, yearning}

Wc: 3706

Part two

The cold night air nipped at Remus’s skin with an intensity he wasn't familiar with. He kept himself focusing on anything other then the bright lights and muffled music behind him.

He wasn't unused to the parties the Potters would throw, they were always over the top and loud, especially when James planned them. Remus would always do his rounds, speak to people he hasn't spoken to since Hogwarts, and then disappear in some quiet corner with one of Lily’s many books. Tonight? He would do anything to go home.

It wasn't the party, it wasn't his friends, for once it wasn't Sirius’s obnoxious drunken stunts. Nothing like that could send the werewolf running with his tail between his legs.

Of course, it could only be you.

“Woah, pretty cold out here, hm?” Your voice called out into the balcony from where you peaked out the door. Remus grimaced, what did he expect? Of course you would come looking for him. You two were best friends.

“Something on your mind, little Lupin?” You persisted despite his lack of acknowledgement. Remus would have rolled his eyes if he could keep the small smile off his face. You had a talent for making him feel a million emotions at once.

Ever since the day James introduced him to his older sister, the Quidditch captain, turned prefect, turned head girl. Now? Celebrated Auror. A full fledged detective.

Here he was, two years graduated and already falling behind. When he was younger, you were so unobtainable. Gone before he even hit year five. There, he could pretend that his heart didn't ache at your name, that you weren't always on his mind, that he didn't spend sleepless nights telling Lily just how much it pained him to know he'd never be worth your time.

He felt like a sap. Like a sad excuse of a man to know you hadn't spent a minute thinking about him the ways he thought of you.

“Remus?” Your voice was closer this time. You had your hands on the railing and were looking at him with such sweet eyes. Ones he remembered from his nights up in the hospital wing, with you reciting old notes from your previous years you had kept, while others studied in the classrooms.

“Hey, {Y/N}.” He mumbled and you clearly grimaced, making him look away from you.

“Have I...” You fiddled with your fingers, looking off at the manor you grew up running around. “Have I done something wrong, Remus?”

“What?” He whispered and turned to face you fully, his face falling hard. He had the chance to fully take you in. You were beautiful, but he knew that. Your hair was shorter then he remembered, your eyes were brighter, you looked.. happier. But even then, you were frowning, your brows furrowed, and it was because of him.

You gave a half sigh half scoff as you gestured between the two of you. “I haven't seen you in three years, Rem. You took one look at me and walked away.”

Remus felt his heart sink a bit at your tone. He hated to disappoint you, but what could he do to make this better? “I-” What could he say to make this hurt less? His voice came out like a pathetic whisper. “I didn't mean to, I just didn't know.. what to say? What to do?”

You have another, much more clear scoff. You raised an eyebrow, and the look on your face was a blend of confusion and something deeper. Something that made his stomach churn. “How to act? Remus, we were best friends. We still are, aren’t we?” You bit your cheek and look back at him, locking your eyes. “Even if you insist on pretending you don't know me.”

Remus felt the heat rise to his ears, an all-too-familiar rush of embarrassment mixed with guilt. A weird mixture that he seemed to seep in whenever you were around. It was never his intention to push you away, but the fear of his feelings had always loomed larger than the friendship you carried. He didn't want to be your friend. But he would have you anyway he could, even if it hurt him more then he'd like to admit. It felt like a weight too heavy to carry, and he had thought that distancing himself would lessen the burden.

“I…” He started, but the words tangled in his throat. You sat there patiently. You always did. From his monthly outlashes to his damaged moping after. “You don’t understand. It’s not that I don’t care about you. It’s just... every time I see you, it feels like I’m standing on the edge of something I can’t have.” He ran a hand through his hair, his eyes squishing closed. “You’re amazing, {Y/N}. You’ve done so much, and I-”

“Remus,” you interrupted, taking a step closer, your eyes searching his. Carefully, you placed a hand on his arm and it was like every knot in his body released. “You’re amazing too. You just graduated not but two years ago, and you’re already doing incredible things. I've heard about how you've joined the order, that's amazing. Everyone speaks so highly of you, please. You can’t keep comparing yourself to me. I’m not some unattainable ideal. I’m your friend. You know me, I'm just {Y/N}.”

“I'm just {Y/N}.”

You've said that to him so many times you'd think he'd listen.

But each time, it felt like a reminder that no matter how much you downplayed your accomplishments, with your Potter humility, you were still lightyears ahead of him. He couldn’t shake the feeling that he was somehow unworthy of you, that your brilliance only served to highlight his own insecurities. You were the sun, you always would be. And he could only reflect what you saw in him. With all your light, he could only admire it.

“{Y/N}, you don’t get it.” He said, frustration creeping into his voice. “You’ve always been the one in the spotlight, and I’m just... me.” He gestured to himself, before giving a low sigh. “Can we talk about something else?”

You frowned, your brow furrowing as you considered his words. “So you think I’m only here for the spotlight? That I wouldn’t choose to be around you just because you feel like you don’t measure up?”

“I don’t know what you want me to say,” he replied, his voice rising with each word. “It’s not that simple! I care about you too much to drag you down with me. I want you to be happy, and I’m not-”

“Remus, don't.” You cut him off and lifted your hand. He could hear your voice crack, the corners of your eyes glistened. He felt his heart break, again and again, as he admired the glistening rock on your fingers; one far bigger then he could ever afford. “You don't get to do this. You don't get to ignore me for years and then.. profess your love! Like that just makes every night I spent just waiting-”

Your voice finally cracked and you sniffled, quickly drying your tears with your open palm. “Waiting for you to say it.”

“{Y/N}...”

“No.” You shook your head and sniffed a bit. “I'm not letting you do this. Not at my engagement party, Remus. Your timing is shit and I deserve someone who won't shut me out. Won't make me wait-”

“Won't know you longer than a year before getting on one knee for you?” He snapped back and you gave a bitter laugh.

“A man who loved me enough to get over himself!” You shouted back and he shook his head.

“Oh right, because Benjy Fenwick has so much to get over, right? That pretty scarless face and his normal full moons?” He shouted. “How long did he have to pine after you for you to entertain him?”

“You don't get to pick at him. You don't get to diminish our relationship because you didn't take me when you could have had me!”

The air between you crackled with tension, both of your hearts laid bare in the chilly night and icy glares. Remus could feel the sting of your words hitting him harder than any hex ever could, and it cut deeper than his own self absorbed pity. He had never meant to make you feel small, and yet here he was, pushing his own insecurities onto you.

“I didn’t mean to-” He felt his words catch in his throat, but even those words fell flat, lost in the weight of your confession. He could of had you. He could see the hurt in your eyes, and it twisted his gut in a way that was both familiar and so foreign he was sure it wasn't his own body..

“You didn’t mean to what, Remus?” Your voice dripped with frustration, the vulnerability from moments ago replaced with an anger he was never on the receiving side of. “You didn’t mean to ruin the night? What we had? You didn’t mean to push me away? Or maybe you just didn’t mean to love me at all?”

The last words hung in the air and he could only look down at your left hand again. It was like a wall, something blocking him away from what he truly wanted. Something he waited far too long for.

The silence stretched between you, thick and suffocating, as the reality of your words settled in. Remus felt as though the ground had shifted beneath him, leaving him teetering on the edge of a precipice he had never wanted to face. His yearning. The air was heavy with all the things left unsaid, all the moments he had missed, and all the chances he hadn’t taken.

Was this one? Or should he drop it too? Would it be better for him to push? For him to take the chance? Or let you go.

“{Y/N}…” He managed, but the words felt insufficient, like a feeble attempt to bridge the chasm that had grown between you. One he chiseled out himself over the years he was too much of a coward to face you. “I never wanted to hurt you. You have to believe me.”

Your gaze softened momentarily, but the hurt was still there, raw and so clear. “You didn’t just hurt me, Remus. You left me wondering what I did wrong. Why you couldn’t see me for who I really was. I'm not some hero I'm just.. I'm just a Potter. I was just a girl who-.” Your voice trembled, and he felt a pang in his chest, like a physical ache at the thought of causing you pain. “Who loved you, Remus. Who loved you so much.”

“I thought I was protecting you.” He said, desperation creeping into his tone. “I thought if I stayed away, you’d be happier. That maybe I wouldn’t be a burden on everyone I knew. You were special. You were special to me, {Y/N}.”

“Were.” You whispered. “Was. I was. You were too Remus.”

“{Y/N}, please-”

“Hey, princess, you out here?” It was like a lightning bolt had struck, cutting through the tension that had built up like a storm cloud between you. Leaving its damaging crackles between you two, blocking Remus from crossing the line. The lovely voice of Benjy Fenwick echoed from inside the house, and your expression shifted instantly- a mask of calmness slipping over the raw emotion that had just been laid bare between you.

“Just a minute!” You called back, though your gaze remained locked on Remus, a flicker of panic showing in your eyes. He could see the struggle within you, the desire to stay and confront the truths that hung in the air, but also the need to go back to him, to shield yourself from the pain he had caused. To be with the man who was months away from promising that pain like this would never cross your face again.

“{Y/N}…” He started again, his heart racing. He felt as if he were grasping at smoke, trying to hold onto you with so much desperation. He could see it, however, you were already gone.

“Remus, I…” You hesitated, glancing back towards the door where Benjy’s voice called again, more impatient this time. “I can’t do this right now.”

With that, you took a step back, breaking the weathering connection that had tethered you together just moments before. The warmth of your hand on his arm faded, and he was left feeling colder than ever. The weight of your words hung heavy in the air, like a spell cast that he couldn’t break.

“Please.” He begged, his voice a mere whisper now, barely audible over the muffled music. “Don’t go.”

But you were already turning away, caught between two worlds- the past and the future, the love you had shared and the life that was now laid out before you. He couldn’t blame you for wanting to step back into the safety of the warm lights and laughter, to return to the life that felt secure, even if it meant leaving him behind. Leaving him to watch helplessly as you fell into the arms of a man that was nothing like him.

“Remus.” You warned, your voice trembling as you faced him one last time. “I need to go. I can’t keep doing this. Not now.”

Your eyes were filled with a mixture of nostalgic pain and resolve, and in that moment, he could see the conflict raging within you. But he felt powerless to change your mind, to convince you to stay and unravel the tangled web of emotions that had ensnared both of you. He was taking his last stand for you.

“Wait.” His voice cracked, stepping forward, his heart pounding so loud he couldn't hear anything but your voice. “I know I messed up. I know I made you wait, and I know I pushed you away. But I don’t want to lose you. Not like this.”

Your gaze dropped to the ground, and he could see the battle you were fending off with yourself. “Remus, you’re not losing me,” you pushed, your voice softening, though the distance between you felt greater then ever. “You made your choice when you walked away. You chose to shut me out.”

“No, I chose to keep you safe.” He insisted, desperation taking a full hold on his voice. “I thought I was doing the right thing. I thought if I stayed away, I wouldn’t ruin your life. But I see now that all I did was make you feel alone.”

You inhaled sharply, and for a moment, he thought he saw a flicker of understanding in your eyes. “You don’t know what it feels like to be waiting in the dark, Remus. You don’t know what it’s like to love someone who won’t let you in.”

His heart ached at your words, and he took another step closer, reaching out as if he could draw you back into the warmth of his arms, at least as a friend, the connection that had once felt so unbreakable. “I'll let you in now. I’m here. I’m ready to be what you need. Just give me a chance. Please.”

But you shook your head, the resolve returning to your features. “You had your chance, Remus. And I’m not going to break another heart just to spare mine-”

“Ours.” He insisted and you shook your head. You tried to hide it, but he could see it. You weren't over him. And he clung to the chance like it was a life line.

“Baby! There you are!” Benjy laughed as he opened the patio door. He stepped out and Remus watched as you schooled your expression and gave him a dazzling smile. Your mascara was smokey now, he could see how much you were clearly bothered in the new light.

Benjy didn't notice. “Pretty girl, it's freezing out here!” He chuckled and took off his jacket, placing it over your shoulders and put his arm around you. You just laughed and shook your head.

“It's not that bad.” You tried to placate and he didn't seem to notice your words. His cheeks flush and clearly a bit drunk.

“Hey! Remus, right? You're the new kid who joined the order, aren't ya? You know each other?” He mused and gestured between you two.

Remus felt a wave of nausea wash over him at Benjy’s familiarity with you. The warmth of your laughter felt like a dagger to his heart, twisting as he forced a smile in return, though he could feel the edges of his resolve crumbling.

“Yeah, that’s me.” He nodded, his voice low as he tried to mask the bitterness he felt. He wanted to say more, to challenge the ease with which Benjy wrapped his arm around you, but the words stuck in his throat. It felt as if he were standing on the sidelines of a game he had once played, now just a spectator to the happiness he had allowed to slip away.

You turned to Benjy, your eyes sparkling with a mix of affection he knew used to belong to him. “I was just enjoying some fresh air. Remus was keeping me company.”

“Oh, really? I thought I’d find you two out here reminiscing about your Hogwarts days.” Benjy chuckled, oblivious to the reminder only making you wince. “Thanks for keeping her entertained, bud.”

Benjy clapped his hand to Remus’s arm and turned, pulling you closer. “Let's get inside, yeah? Gonna freeze my tits off.”

His crude comment shocked a laugh out of you, making Remus flinch.

“Yeah, let’s get inside.” You hummed with a nod, your voice carrying a cheerfulness that felt forced. Remus wanted to scream, to reach out and pull you back, to tell you everything he had been too scared to say. But the words remained lodged in his throat, heavy with the weight of regrets unspoken.

As you turned to walk back inside, Remus felt the distance between you grow. He wanted to call after you, to stop you and lay bare his heart, but the laughter and music from the party surged around him, drowning out his thoughts.

He was losing you, and he knew it. The very thought made his heart ache, a dull throb that reverberated through him. It was a pain he had grown accustomed to over the years, but now it felt all too real, all too present, and he couldn’t bear it.

“Hey, Remus!” James's voice suddenly broke through the fog of his despair as he approached, a bright smile on his face. “You alright? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

“Just… catching some fresh air. {Y/N} was keeping me out of my head.” Remus muttered, forcing a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. He could see the excitement written all over his face, but it felt miles away, a world he no longer belonged to.

“Come inside! You’re missing the best part!” James insisted, clapping a hand on his shoulder. “We’ve got some games going on, and Lily’s got a surprise planned. You’ll want to be there for it.”

Remus nodded, though his heart wasn’t in it. “Yeah, I’ll… I’ll be there in a minute.”

“Alright, but don’t keep us waiting too long!” James called, heading back into the house, leaving Remus alone once more.

With a heavy sigh, Remus leaned against the railing, staring out into the night. The stars twinkled above him, indifferent to his turmoil, and he felt a hollow emptiness settle in his chest. He had always been good at hiding from the world, but now, he felt exposed and vulnerable, stripped of the defenses he had built around himself.

He glanced back toward the door, his heart racing as he thought about the laughter and joy that awaited him inside. But more importantly, you were inside, and he was terrified of what that meant.

The sound of laughter drew his attention back to the door, and he caught a glimpse of you and Benjy, surrounded by a group of friends. Your smile was genuine, your laughter infectious, and the way you leaned into Benjy, it stung more than anything he could have imagined. He almost heaved when he saw you give him such a gentle and loving kiss.

“Just say it.” He whispered to himself, the words echoing in his mind. “Just tell her how you feel.”

But the words wouldn’t come. He had waited too long, and now it felt like it was too late. Could he even do that? Could he ruin your chances at a normal life? That was what he wanted, right? You to be happy? To not be plagued with what he was?

As the door swung shut behind James, sealing you away with a future he couldn’t be a part of, Remus felt a sense of finality settle over him. He couldn't face you. It was done. He had let you slip through his fingers, and now all he could do was watch as you moved on without him.

With a final glance at the door, he turned away from the party, the music fading into the background as he made his way down the steps and into the darkness. He could feel the weight of his heart, heavy with regret, but he knew he had to keep moving forward, even if it meant leaving you to travel down your own path. One that had nothing to do with him.

Somehow, he would have to learn to live with the choices he had made, the love he had thrown away. And somehow, he would have to learn to live with the fact that he had lost the one person who had meant everything to him.

As he walked away from the Potters’ home, he felt the cold night air wrap around him more then before, a stark reminder of the warmth he had just lost. And with each step, he couldn’t shake the feeling that he was leaving a piece of himself behind- one he might never get back.

His heart always preferred you anyway.

[pavardscherie]

We definitely need mor Benji daddy drabbles

back with more noelle & benji. 💖💖💖

it was over an hour ago, when benjamin told you that he wanted to take noelle to sleep tonight. how could you decline such an offer of having a little more time to calm down from another hard-working day and take care of yourself. after a much needed shower, and an almost forgotten skin care routine, you made your way back into the living room.

instead of seeing benjamin waiting on the couch, a bowl of chips on the table and a movie prepared, the room was empty and the television screen midnight black. looking into each room and their corners, trying to prevent a sudden surprise prank from your humorous husband, you thought he received another emergency call from the coach. another late night training session or meeting squeezed into the tight schedule, and you just did not hear him leave through the front door over the stream of warm water in the shower.

to be honest, you completely lost yourself in another reality when the first droplets of water traveled down your body, washing away the exhaustion and stress. dressed in a pair of black satin shorts and the fitting loose top covering your chest, you carefully walked up the staircase towards the first floor.

after all, it wasn’t your mission to wake up noelle with a clumsy movement. soft snores filled the empty hallway, the door to your shared bedroom with benjamin ajar and the little lamp on the nightstand cascaded a comfortable, dim yellow light through the room. a single eyebrow raised in confusion, you knew for a fact, benjamin would have turned the light off before leaving abruptly.

fingertips pressed against the dark brown, wooden door, you peaked around the corner and the most beautiful image was shown to your eyes. sprawled out on the king-sized bed was your husband, laying on his stomach and the head turned to the side. a long arm draped over your sixteen month year old daughter, who mirrored his position perfectly. with their eyes closed, they faced eachother, peacefully snoring as the heavy exhaustion declined another second of being away.

while you thought that benji had to leave again, which wasn’t a rare occasion, he actually fell asleep to the most beautiful view. sweet, little noelle staring at her father with her adorable smile and chubby cheeks while slowly drifting into a peaceful, and deep sleep.

and the sight was so hypnotizing, and pulled him into another reality until his eyelids became way too heavy to keep them open. his sweet daughter, his world, his everything. sweet, little noelle.

[tarjapearce]

[There is no exact timeline, mind you hehe]

PRE-SOCCER FAMILY

Meeting for the first time

Meeting Again

Flirting

First Kiss

Boyfriend Makeover

First time with eachother (Mild +18)

Who Fell Harder

Meeting Miguel's Family

Miguel Meeting Wife!Reader's Family (Drama & Angst)

Break Up (Angst)

Makeup (Angst and Fluff)

The Making Of Gabriella (+18)

Pregnancy Cares with Miguel

Proposal

The Wedding

MAIN EVENTS AND BLURBS

HIGHLIGHTS

Miguel's Birthday

The Making Of Benjamin (+18)

Unlocking Memories

Young Spiders Meeting Miguel's Family

Spider Gang Babysitting Gabi and Benji

Uncle Gabriel Paying A Visit

Girl's Day with Gabriella

Nightmares

Baby Benjamin's First Words

Jealous Wife

Marital Fight

Makeup

Miguel Helping Gabi With School Project

Gabi's Toddler Days

Big Sister, Again

Angry Spanish Cursing with Miguel

Rosie's Birth

Miguel Comforting Mama

Baby Cares with Miguel and Rosie

Gabi's First Period

Benjamin's Pregnancy

Grandma's Visit

Meeting Mama's ex at Costco

Mama Pick up Lines

Welcome Back, Papa!

Introducing Gabriella to Soccer

Miguel's Pick up Lines

Gabriel and Miguel Fight

A series Of First With Gabriella

Conversations between Miguel and Mama

Papa, You're Getting Old

NSFW

Miguel Comforting Wife After A Bad Dream

Possessive Husband Miguel

Miguel Waking Up To A BJ

Needy Mama with a Gentle Dom! Miguel

Mama Pegging Miguel

The Making of Rosie

Miguel and Mama's favorite positions

Miguel Eating out Mama (with a lil twist)

For Science Purposes

GABRIELLA AND HER QUESTIONS

Big Boobs

A Sibling

Big Boobs (Miguel Version)

Milk Jugs

Is Mama ok?

DAILY LIFE BLURBS

Spicy food with Gabi

Gabi's Tamtrum

Mama Is Harassed By Another Man

Gabi comforting a Fussy Benjamin

Miguel Rizzing up Mama

Benji And His Baby Walker

Mama Teasing Miguel

A Little Time Lapse

Cleaning Sunday

Benji Getting A Tummy Ache

Bitter Coffee

Benjamin's "Messy Hair" (Angry Mama)

Sad Movie Night

Questions Related 2 3 4 5 6 7

Go Shave, Papa!

Nothing But Short Short Shirts

Benjamin Cutting His Own Hair

Soccer Family Into Tik Tok

Nude Portrait

Benji Being a Lil Ladies Man

Kiss Cam

Intruder

Sleepy Boys

Benjamin as a 12 year old boy

Baby Benjamin gets injured

Drunk Mama

You're adopted, Benji.

Getting Gabi to Sleep

El Ratón Perez

(Header made by me)

[entitled-fangirl]

Could you do a poll for your upcoming fics I’m excited to see what you have cooking

I'm so glad you asked pookie!!! (someone take the word pookie away from me and give me something else, holy cow)

Maybe you guys need a name. hmmm

Anyway

In case you need to catch up:

"A soft spot"

"A perfect match indeed"

Actual representation of me cooking rn: 👩‍🍳

Edit: That's evil to not give my Benji some love. I have a good idea for it I swear✋

[spider-stark]

Me, reading "bridge"; close enough, welcome back, Romeo and Juliet!!!!!

Ugh it was such a good read !!!! Like MY MAN YOU ALREADY GOT HER!!! WIFE HER UP!!!!

I am very tempted to write you a blurb based on a scene from the 90's R&J bc it was just so??? Amazing????? And I know Benji's ass would NEVER miss the chance to crash a Bracken feast, esp if it's a costume one with masks 👀👀👀 (I also invasion that, after this and she goes back "home" (Benji is her home idc) she still wears Bracken gold but NOW she wears a little bit of a red underlining 👀👀👀👀)

THAT WOULD BE SO GOOD??? DO IT??? PLEASE???

benji would 100% crash a Bracken feast like omg I CAN SEE IT HAPPENING IN MY HEAD AND I LOVE??

AND THE RED UNDERLINING

your mind is incredible and I love you anon 🫶

[ineffectualdemon]

The is a show in Channel 4 called the dog house which I had never seen and I saw a blurb for last night's episode that looked like this:

For those who can't see the picture it has a picture of two men on a couch and the text reads: "Cwn furry siblings Benji and Phoebe convince a retired nurse that two's better than one?"

And I gotta tell out of the two adults and the Teenager in the house NONE of read that as anything other than: "Two Furries looking to make a Throuple"

Turns out its a show about adopting actual dogs tho

[sleepyfan-blog]

My OCs

A quick blurb about a bunch of my OCs! Under the cut because there are many of them, haha

tagged: @c-u-c-koo-4-40k

Captain Micah Ash'val: Firstborn Salamander Scout Captain. Pre-heresy. He’s a classic Salamander; warm, protective, caring… Ferociously protective of his charges and has a very terrifying temper once it’s finally roused. Is currently plotting with the rest of the Dad/Big Brother Squad to find whoever’s been Causing Problems and deal with them.

Sevros Alvros: Firsborn Black Templar. Cedric’s Mentor in M42. Protective, gruff and cares very much for his apprentice. He’s the chief apothecary of his crusade of Black Templars and holds significant sway within the crusade he belongs to because of that. Staunchly in favor of accepting the Primaris marines. Has clashed multiple times with those who aren’t as accepting. 

Agrald: Primaris Black Templar battle brother. He’s dead in M2. Squad leader, was in leadership training. Protective, angry, did his best to keep his brothers away from the Shitty Older Brothers as best as he could while alive. 

Amicus De’leth: Brother-sargeant of the Ultramarines. Lives on the base, helped get Cedric settled in initially. Stalwart, honorable and patrols the town that his bonded lives in regularly.  

Amira: The daughter of Amicus’ bonded human. Sweet, kind and utterly unafraid of any Marines as she knows several and cares for them very much and trusts them. 

Andrew: Young bonded human of Benji. Gave Benji his name and adores his older brother Astartes to pieces. Sweet, friendly and mildly terrified of the doctors.

Alois: Primaris Black Templar. Dead in M42, killed by Petras’ temper because he would not humbly submit to the other’s verbal lashing and humiliation any longer. Tried to point out the utter hypocrisy and groxshit that Petras was doing and saying by acting the way that he was while trying to hold Alois and his brothers to a different standard. 

Arkhos: Firstborn Chaos Blood Angel. Part of a wandering warband of chaos astartes with Samos and Leviath. Thoroughly enjoys the gifts that Khorne has granted him. Is fascinated by ancient Terra and is very flirtatious, especially when the Red Thirst rises.

Angrets: Bloodclaw, Space Wolf. Apothecary in training. He is mouthy and impulsive, which can lead to Problems when his mouth gets him into more trouble than he knows how to deal with.

Alois Zimmer:  Firstborn Black Templar brother-sargeant. Part of the  Sprechembriech Crusade. He is protective of his fellow Black Templars and does not trust that the traitors and heretics will keep to their end of the bargains that the naive loyalists have made with them on ancient terra. He is a decent enough second in command, and does not question the authority of those above him. 

Banigh: Firstborn Bloodclaw Space Wolf, part of a wandering warband. Pre-heresy. Very much enjoys watching the chaos that Frengir causes and will eagerly join in if he thinks his brother needs help. 

Benji: Chaos world eater. Growly as fuck and incredibly protective of his very tiny bonded human. Encourages tiny human to explore Ancient Terra and do whatever he wants. 

Belek: night lord apothecary in training, and currently under the tutelage of several NL apothecaries. Quiet, stealthy and has learned when to duck when shit hits the fan and it is 1-800-not-his-problem to deal with.

Sargeant Brenthom: Firstbornn Black Templar. He is a member of Petras’ Crusade in Ancient Terra. He is grumpy and deeply suspicious of non-black templars in this time period he finds himself in. Especially of Filthy Traitors and Fucking Chaos Bastards. Will back up his fellow Black Templars in any scrap they get into, no matter who started it or why.

Crystal: Blue haired human teenager in Ancient Terra. She and her friends snuck into the Astartes base out of curiosity and were found by Cedric. She offered him a place to stay in the group home that she lives in noticing his anxiety. Later, she became snap-bonded to Pallius as he lay dying on Ancient Terra. She is unaware of this bond. She is curious, rebellious and kind. 

Cazzard: Firstborn Black Templar. Part of the  Sprechembriech Crusade. He is grumpy and wary of Outsiders - outsiders being anyone who isn’t a Black Templar. He is curious about the rumors that there are Primaris Marines on Ancient Terra and would like to meet them. Gruff and no-nonsense.

Dovo: Primaris Black Templar battle brother He’s dead in M2. Cheerful and does his best to find the bright side of situations. Demolitions expert in training. He loves himself a good explosion or ten. You can definitely trust him around explosives of any kind unsupervised. :3

Dessias: Primaris Black Templar battle brother He’s dead in M2. Stubborn, loyal and always the first into battle, both to win glory and to protect his brothers from incoming fire. 

Captain Detrich: Firstborn Black Templar. In M42 he’s been recently entombed in a dreadnought and is fucking pissed about it. He’s a terrifying melee combatant. Very short temper and finds the primaris reinforcements useful. They need all the bodies they can get to serve against the many enemies of the Imperium and finds that just killing them to be a pointless waste of resources. 

Deimos: Firstborn Alpha Legionnaire. Trickster, prankster and loves to infiltrate places and learn their innermost secrets so that if/when needed he can blackmail and coerce those around him into compliance. Has a friendly rivalry with certain brothers. 

Darsas: Firstborn Chaos Death Guard. He’s been around for over ten-thousand years. Loves to spread the blessings of grandfather nurgle :) loves everyone and wants them to be happy. Will use his considerable psyker powers to ensure that people are Happy and Fine. Has known @gallifreyianrosearkytiorsusan ‘s Hura for a very long time. 

Enki: Mid-heresy thousand son. Was taken days before the Burning of Prospero and is incredibly suspicion and hostile towards any Space Wolf he sees. Master flesh-crafter and very annoyed that the warp is so difficult to use on Ancient Terra.  Is in a warband with Tallis and Rao.

Frengir: Firstborn Bloodclaw Space Wolf, part of a wandering warband. He loves to fight and is quick to anger. Prideful and believes that his legion is The Best. Pre-heresy. 

Hagiel: Brother-sargeant of the Lamenters third company. He has the bad luck that plagues many of the Lamenters. Currently stuck trying to rebuild a half-destroyed city before the Ultramarines show up to inspect things

Janison: Firstborn Bloodclaw Space Wolf, part of a wandering warband. Pre-heresy. Tries to keep the peace when Frengir tries to start shit, mostly because they all get yelled at if they fight outside of the areas that they are supposed to. 

Joth: Chaos world eater. Good boi. Mildly anxious whenever he can’t see the human who took him in. May or may not be slowly Bonding with said human. Has realized that there may be Sad Neophytes/Scouts on ancient terra in need of cuddles and food and will find them

Kox: Firstborn Luna Wolf Scout. Very honored to be picked to be mentored by one of the Mournival. Has yet to actually meet Horus, but is eager to prove himself and serve his gene-father and the Imperium for the rest of his days. 

Leviath: Firstborn Chaos Blood Angel. Part of a wandering warband of chaos astartes with Samos and Arkos. 

Lycus: Firsborn Wordbearer chaplain. Early heresy, before the word bearers fell to chaos. Deeply distressed by how far his legion fell, and to the depravity that they happily wallow in. Intensely religious and passionate about it, though he does not actively seek to proselytize to others unless he is on Crusade as he feels that the beliefs that others hold are just as valid as his own. (which makes him a radical in his legion)

Lestras: Primaris Black Templar. Dead in M42 and on Ancient terra. Quiet and dutiful for the most part. Loves learning about stars and planets and his dearest wish was to be part of the exploration arm of the Black Templar fleet.

Miles: Firstborn Black Templar. Part of the  Sprechembriech Crusade. Was badly injured during a punishment delivered by Petras. He is a dutiful and loyal son of Dorn. he would also like everyone to please get along :(

Melinth: Firstborn Imperial Fist Apothecary. Head apothecary in the base that Cedric lives in. He is strict, by the book and has a great deal of scientific curiosity. Blunt and does not see the point in mincing words or dancing around the topic of conversation, no matter how fraught said topic might be. 

Mattias: Primaris Black Templar. Part of the  Sprechembriech Crusade.  Fantastic short-range and melee fighter. Has a special interest in learning how to wield every kind of weapon that he can get his hands on. Loves to encourage the interests of his Brothers. Playful and protective of those whom he cares for. Recent arrival on Ancient Terra and was promptly adopted by a group of firstborn brothers. Things were great until that Angry Chaplain beat the shit out of him :(

Munse: Primaris Black Templar battle brother. Recently assgined to Cedric’s squad. He gets into so, so many fights with his agemates. Especially those who aren’t primaris marines because he can see the difference in how they are treated and thinks that it’s absolute grox-shite. Will fight anyone, at any time, for any reason.

Malachai: Primaris Black Templar. He’s dead from his wounds inflicted on him by Petras and Ramiel. He was incredibly protective and caring of his brothers, and would deliberately try and draw the ire away from his other brothers in order to protect them. This habit of his combined with Petras’ temper is what got him killed, ultimately. 

Nadesir: chaos night lord. Would like idiots to stop trying to steal his bonded. She is happy where she is and he will Cut A Bitch (or twelve) to stop this from happening. >:(

Olivar: Primaris Black Templar. Currently healing in Ancient Terra and trying to process all of the Everything he is learning about what is going on. Full of piss and vinegar and deeply suspicious of all firstborn marines. If he doesn’t have his helmet on and is fighting he will bite.  

Pallius: Primaris Black Templar. He has the fury endemic to the Black Templars, and tries to conduct himself honorably. (He is a young Knight Errant). Has been on Ancient Terra for less than a week and met his bonded within 5 minutes of arriving. No he has no idea what Bonded are nor that he is bonded. He just. He really needs to find that nice baseline human. Cedric please let him up. 

Rodron: Primaris Black Templar battle brother He’s dead in M2. He has some sniper specialization. Yes he got teased about it because Black Templars overwhelmingly prefer to use melee/short range combat. Quiet, watchful and fiercely protective of his brothers. ]

Rao: pre-heresy word bearer. Voice of reason and very amused by the antics of his warpy Cousins. Would like to Bond with a human one day, but isn’t trying to go out and find any human to bond with. The god-emperor provides and if he’s meant to be bonded, a bond will come his way.

Savald: Firstborn Black Templar. Part of the  Sprechembriech Crusade. A dutiful brother of the Black Templars. His rage has been tempered by the years of experience that he has, forged in the cleansing fires of war. Petras’ wrath concerns him, but he feels that it is not his place to speak up. 

Samos: Firstborn Chaos Blood Angel. Part of a wandering warband of chaos astartes with Arkos and Leviath. Leader of the warband. He is a powerful and terrifying hunter when the mood strikes, though it’s far more fun if those who he feeds from agrees to let him. Playful and utterly vicious when his wrath is invoked. Despises Black Legionnaires and Chaos Word Bearers as he blames them for the death of his primarch. 

Sirass: Firstborn Iron Warrior. Grumpy, vicious in battle and utterly ruthless when he has to be. Does not tolerate failure well, especially if he himself is failing an assigned task/mission. 

Sigisrim:Firstborn Black Templar. Part of the  Sprechembriech Crusade. Gruff and protective of his brohters. He is a veteran of one of the campagins against the endless Orkish hordes. Growly and short-tempered, though he does have a soft-spot for mortals and will do what he can to protect them. 

Tallis: Pre-heresy Thousand son, who was suffering from the start of the Flesh Change in his native time. That seems to have stopped, now that he’s in Ancient terra. Powerful psyker and prone to getting absorbed into his experiments with warpcraft… Sometimes to the detriment of his health and sanity. Fascinated by the different kind of Bonds. Is in a warband with Enki and Rao

Toroz: Firstborn Black Templar. Part of the  Sprechembriech Crusade. Is actually an Alpha Legionnaire in disguise. He has been embedded in the crusade since it’s founding and has been sending information to his handler-brother on the sly whenever he can. Is very concerned about Petras’ increasingly violent manner and has taken Cedric’s warning to heart. If only he’d been able to convince the others…

Trai: Firstborn Chaos Word Bearer. He is here to spread the word of the Chaos Gods and to bring down the False Emperor. He has no gods-damned idea where he is or what is going on, but is delighted to learn about local customs. 

Yonnas Bilnes: Brother-captain of the Imperial fists. Firstborn. Calm, steady and incredibly busy, as he helps the base commandant manage things. 

Zalthes: Firstborn Iron Ultramarine. He is incredibly flirtatious and is happy dtf anyone interested so long as he has the time. Will flirt with someone he finds attractive even in dangerous times, and is very confident in his combat prowess. Show off /affectionate

Zagan: Battle Brother of the Grey Knights. Spooky bastard and revels in causing problems for the enemy he faces. Powerful psyker. Most of his stories are currently in the celestial seas au.

[movies-to-add-to-your-tbw]

Title: Hoodwinked!

Rating: PG

Director: Cory Edwards, Todd Edwards

Cast: Anne Hathaway, Glenn Close, Jim Belushi, Patrick Warburton, Anthony Anderson, David Ogden Stiers, Xzibit, Chazz Palminteri, Andy Dick, Cory Edwards, Benjy Gaither, Ken Marino, Tom Kenny, Preston Stutzman, Tony Leech, Joshua J. Greene, Mark Primiano

Release year: 2005

Genres: comedy, crime

Blurb: Little Red Riding Hood is a classic story...but there's more to every tale than meets the eye. Before you judge a book by its cover, you've got to flip through the pages. The story begins at the end of the tale and winds its way back. Chief Grizzly and Detective Bill Stork investigate a domestic disturbance at Granny's cottage involving a karate-kicking Red Riding Hood, a sarcastic wolf, and an oafish woodsman.

[doubleddenden]

With what I assume is the last dlc for SV, I thought I'd make a post for me to come back to later compiling the teams I used and other significant pokemon I've caught or used to some capacity.

I'll make a small blurb for each, including more teams under the cut

Base Violet Team:

Nyastolfo the Meowscarada, the starter. Admittedly he's not my favorite of the paldean starters, that actually goes to Skeledirge. But I wanted Ceruledge, and I wanted a colorfully diverse looking team, so I went with the weed cat. He's probably a little silly but the most dedicated pokemon.

Benji the Pawmott, who despite his size is a little powerhouse and one of my favorite pikaclones.

MickDonnaGoof (shorthand for Mickey, Donald, and Goofy) the Wugtrio, who may not really be a legitimate separate pokemon in my eyes and is more of a glorified dugtrio regional variant. But I still like her.

Caliburn the Ceruledge, the sole reason I chose Violet to begin with and has consistently been one of my favorites. She's potentially one of my strongest pokemon ever and the first I ever had change Tera Types, and the only one to do so TWICE. Fire to Ghost to take on Iron Leaves on our own, and then from Ghost to Stellar to completely ascend her.

Clodina the Clodsire, who is probably the most universally loved gen 9 pokemon for good reason. So friend shaped. Also the clean up when she was on my team.

Ceterry the Cetitan, who has the cutest encounter story. I was going to use Baxcalibur, but while in Glaseado Mountain I saw a little Cetoddle come walking up to me by itself. Didn't attack me, just smiled and danced. I didn't need to fight it at all and just tossed a ball at it, and it joined me. Probably my fondest memory of a Pokémon willingly joining my team without a battle.

Teal Mask Team

Shogun the Hisuian Typhlosion, who was caught after I finished Legends Arceus and finally got a chance to shine in Kitakami. Originally I wanted to use my Silver Typhlosion or my Hisuian Samurott from LA, but both were too high a level, so I compromised on Shogun, who was just right.

Racer the Yanmega, my first Kitakami capture within moments of arriving. A real glass cannon but a fun one, and honestly I've always wanted a reason to use one.

Fesh Pince the Poliwrath. Technically my third Poliwrath, but my first one from Fire Red is long gone and my second one is from a fan game- that's who Fesh Pince is named for, also the YouTube poop series lol. He's reliable enough

MorMarnie the Morpeko, who is probably the weakest but cutest of the teams I've put together in SV. In fact I've noticed each team has at least 1 designated cutie, so I'm okay with that.

Hollabax the Baxcalibur- admittedly I caught him in Paldea, but never got around to using him until Kitakami, where I brought him in to fix up the aesthetics of my team. If Racer is a glass cannon, Hollabax is a glass hammer, who dishes out some decent damage but goes down very quickly. Still enjoy what he adds to the team.

Yoginator the Blood Moon Ursaluna- funnily enough, Scout the Furret was in his slot before he came along. This guy's quest was really fun and amazing, and he about wiped my team before Scout saved the day. I got a funny pic of him absolutely loathing being on my team that's somewhere on my blog and it sends me every time. He kinda sucked in kitakami but got better.

Indigo Disk Team

Dojikiri the Shiny Hisuian Samurott, who was the first pokemon I successfully bred specifically to be shiny that wasn't by accident. When I found out Blueberry Academy was in Unova, I wanted to use a Unovan starter- but the problem is that I've used EVERY starter, even ones I dislike, and at the time I thought it was going to be an early pick and really didn't want to re use any of them. So with the criteria met, I bred for my favorite starter, Hisuian Samurott, the best of all worlds tbh. In battle he kinda sucked at first, which is hilarious considering how powerful his dad is (Muramasa) and his namesake being the PERFECT Japanese sword that killed Shuten Douji- but eventually he came into his own as a master of sword moves and became super reliable.

Texas PRIME the Paldean Fire Tauros. Paldea got good fire types, I've always wanted to use a Tauros, so I transferred this from Scarlet. He's reliable enough and pulled through when I needed him, but he's kind of got a Worf effect going on.

Iron Giant the Golurk. Originally I had planned to use a Rhyperior, but they fucked up Home so it would not work until the day after Indigo Disk officially dropped, and I did not want to trade, so I made use of Iron Giant and got attached. Yes he knows Fly but it's not as cool as I had hoped.

Arches the Archaludon, probably the most powerful on the team and definitely the one I relied on most. Once I got him set up with Electro Shot, he was one shotting pretty much everything. He's a bit slow but tanky.

Gelo the Reuniclus- designated cutie of the team and I'll hear no arguments. Gelo was basically Arches and Dojikiri's Rain Dancer partner for the most part, but he got a few good wins along the way. I imagine hugging it is kinda sticky.

Beakers the Toucannon- admittedly I originally thought about it only to make the aesthetics come together for the team, but I am really surprised at how good it was. Beakers is no Corviknight or Talonflame, but his Skill Link basically made him invaluable with Bullet Seed and Rock Blast. Genuinely and pleasantly surprised with him, and I imagine we use him like a Tommy gun.

Honorable mentions

Scarlet "Ash" playthrough team, no nicknames, in which I went through as if I were writing another Season with Ash as the protagonist

Violet reserves:

GarganaclBOI the shiny Garganacl

Gaga the Espathra

Tyranitron the Shiny Iron Thorns (not pictured: a non shiny Iron Thorns I also used)

Iron Jugulis (no nickname)

Emi the Tinkaton (if you're reading this, yes I did name it after you because it's so you coded)

Miraidon, no nickname but he is the best doggo

Scout the Furret (Silver 3ds transfer)

Iceslash Alolan Sandslash (used for Drayton's trial)

Dipper the Hydrapple (formerly the Dipplin I used briefly in Kitakami)

Muramasa the Hisuian Samurott (my Legends Arceus starter and brief Kitakami body gaurd, father to Dojikiri)

Ogerpon, who isn't nicknamed but we love our adoptive daughter

Tyson the Annihilape (formerly a Primeape from Leaf Green from over 15 years ago)

And of course

the Egg Hatching Team

Ditto the Japanese babymommadaddy slut

Blaze the Talonflame (original XY transfer)

And Pyro the Magmortar (original black 2 transfer)

Trying to decide my favorite of the teams I've made. It might be a tie between Kitakami and Blueberry, but I still do love Ceruledge, Clodsire, and Pawmott a bunch.

Although I bitch a lot about performance and story choices I personally disagree with or wish they would have expanded upon, one thing I love is making teams and immortalizing them for me to look back on fondly. This was probably the largest cast I've assembled in any pokemon game with fresh teams for each playthrough and dlc, backup mons, and transfers for fun.

The decision to make a new team for the dlcs was definitely a great decision, as it allowed me the opportunity to use Pokémon I never thought I'd ever really use in official capacity, such as Yanmega or Toucannon.

[webslingingslasher]

I’m taking ur idea of them being twins and I’m RUNNING with it 😭 I’m abt to let Peter & Benji share EVERYTHING u know what I’m sayin??? ;))))

no cause now im gonna write a multi-verse blurb on it.

[enchantedbarnes]

Hypothetical Uncle Buck Fic Question:

Let's say I was to make another Uncle Buck blurb...

For Benji's mom is it annoying to just keep calling her "your sister" over and over again or do we like that it's along the same ambiguous insert lines like "y/n"?

Assign her a name

Continue with "your sister"

🫡

This is all hypothetical of course 👀

[dirtfacedgospel]

DIRTFACEDGOSPEL    \\\   original character cheat sheet.

i figured that since my pages aren't up for my ocs, i could write up a quick little blurb to sum things up to facilitate some plotting or writing.

alex lansing.  she/her. camilla luddington fc. heterosexual. nurse practitioner/midwife with her own practice. usually located in more rural areas. eldest daughter of a powerful politician but actively working to undo all the damage that implies. general bad taste in men.

bastien theriot.  he/they. ben barnes fc. gray asexual, biromantic, though if you ask him he'll say he's gay. mechanical engineer, contemporary dancer, and dance instructor, and just as utterly exhausted as you'd expect. neurodivergent genius trope but actually neurodivergent. kind of an asshole. has a daughter. it's complicated. he's complicated.

benji mitchell.   he/him. lucas bryant fc. bisexual. bounty hunter and private investigator. haunted alcoholic ex-cop who physically cannot stop helping people. literally living to take care of his dogs. has had a head of gray hair since his twenties. tarnished golden boy vibes.

charlie farrow.   she/her. tracy spiridakos fc. pansexual but there's trauma so it's complicated. florist. keeps bees. ex navy seal. lives off the grid because despite being declared dead, she's wanted by multiple world governments including her own. if survivors guilt was a person. just wants to know peace.

delilah price.   she/her. jaimie alexander fc. bisexual. bluegrass fiddle player and singer. coffee shop baker and co-owner. will fistfight a man barefoot in a sundress. covered in tattoos. was briefly famous from her romantic relationship with a superstar. short as hell. fueled by spite and caffeine.

ford kincaid.   he/him. brant daugherty fc. bisexual. bar owner and bartender. physically incapable of leaving behind a stray, either human or animal. has basically been a single father since he was five years old and that's barely an exaggeration. intensely protective of his staff. will adopt you on sight, sign the paperwork here, please.

jake sullivan.   he/him. dan stevens fc. pansexual. country music musician. if a golden retriever became a human. a wholesome whore. has worked every job under the sun at least once. professional secret keeper. the most observant man you've ever met. the kindest man you've ever met. everybody's queer awakening counselor.

john romero.   he/him. charlie hunam fc. demisexual. oil rig roughneck and day laborer. on parole for a manslaughter charge after an argument went horribly wrong. loosely inspired by the song big bad john, so y'know. guy's big. (he stood 6'6'' and weighed 245) the epitome of a gentle giant, however, despite all appearances.

silas levay.   he/him. ian bohen fc. bisexual. cattle rancher and ranch manager. has known his entire life he was going to die on the land he was born on. his fiance ran away with his brother and the whole town is never going to let him live it down. *slaps the top of his cowboy hat* you can fit so much fear of failure in this bad boy.

wyatt jessup.   he/him. alan powell fc. bisexual. former country music star. crashed and burned after his overdose a few years ago. got his life back together, got sober, and just wants to live quietly with his dogs in the middle of the forest, making music with the mood strikes.

[pavardscherie]

— pavardscherie's master list for benjamin pavard.

⤷ current club: fc bayern münchen ;; number five ;; defense ⤷ requests: taking them all the time! fave, fave, fave. (husband!)

⤷ drabbles ;; one shots:

score a goal for me ;;

you ask benjamin to score a goal for you, but he takes it a little to serious. two great volley goals against augsburg & you're getting a little reward. (oral, female receiving)

a bedroom for two ;;

benjamin takes you home for his mother's birthday, and you explore his teenage room. little does he know, he gets to live out a couple of teenage fantasies with you. (mentions of smut, p in v, dirty talk)

cuff it ;;

benjamin gave you the control over him, and he ends up cuffed to the headboard of the bed. (sub!benji, dom!reader, p in v, little bit of overstimulation)

call it a dinner date ;;

benjamin takes you to an event with the entire team and their wags, and the anxiety is eating you alive. but he makes sure, you know, you're making him happy and that counts.

kissable ;;

recreating the tik tok lipstick trend with benjamin.

look at you ;;

reader is being bratty while being on a birthday party for manual neuer, and benjamin decides to punish her. (bratty!reader , slightly dom!benji, p in v, ass slapping, hand around throat, alcohol)

my beautiful, beautiful girl ;;

benjamin is such a simp for reader while being on a date.

curse words ;;

locker room smut during a match while he's suspended. (kind of dom! benji, possession kink a little, p in v, bit rough quickie)

good job ;;

after scoring, benji deserves a good present.

⤷ multi-part series:

if we ever meet again ;;

benjamin and reader were a couple, when you played on the female bayern münchen team. since your transfer to dortmund, the relationship ended because of the distance. you find a new partner, but meet benji at an event again. old wounds are ripped open, and it's getting difficult to choose.

⤷ moodboards:

going on summer vacation with benji ;;

⤷ blurbs ;; quick written requests:

benji doesn't want you to leave the bed for work comforting benji after the loss against man city is benji a girl or boy dad? benji's ideal type of girl describing benji's kisses playing with benji's curls the not kissing your bf trend with benji

⤷ drabbles about girl dad!benji:

noelle's first bayern munich home game ;; noelle says daddy for the first time ;; benji taking noelle to bed ;;

[tarjapearce]

Haii it's my first time doing a request and I don't really know how it works but can you write about like miguel and reader appearing on a kiss cam while they are watching a soccer game with Benjamin and Gabriella? If you can thank you so much I really love to read your fanfic 💖

Hello dear!. Thanks for taking the time to read, means alot! 😊🫶🏻 Sorry for taking long. hope you like this little blurb ! ♥️

--------

The crowd cheered as the men kicked the ball between them. The stadium roared as one of the players got closer and closer to the scoring zone. He missed.

Half time was announced, You had treated the whole family into a soccer game, before the school year started again. Your arms held Benjamin as Gabriela and Miguel cheered whenever their team got closer to score a goal.

"Look Papa!"

The gigantic screen lit up, 'Kiss Cam' letters displaying as it focused the many couples among the crowd. A bunch of 'Aws' and 'Yeah! " The crowd roared in joy, but something unexpected happened.

The kiss cam focused on Miguel and you.

Miguel just chuckled and your free hand covered your face in embarrassment.

"Mama! Kiss!" Benjamin cheered

Out of embarrassment, You kissed his cheek.

The crowd booed at your clumsy reaction, but roared once more as Miguel held your chin gently and kissed you, deeply. The cam changed into a heart , focusing you both inside. Gabi made an "ew" face as you were kissing. Benji just laughed in your arms.

Cheeks burning and stomach fluttering at his reaction. Some people whistled your way, and you just stared at him.

"Payback."

He murmured into your ear with a chuckle. You flustered even more.

The second time was announced by the whistle of a beep. Who knows? Maybe your kiss would appear in viral videos later.

[camgoloud]

3 and 12 for the book ask?

3. What were your top five books of the year?

After my top 3 the competition gets pretty stiff, but I'll rank them:

Nona the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir (of course!)

Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell by Susanna Clarke

The Dispossessed by Ursula K. Le Guin

Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow by Gabrielle Zevin

The Fifth Season by N. K. Jemison

Honorable mention because I’m not sure if plays count: this summer I finally got around to working my way through the rest of Shakespeare’s tragedies which I hadn’t already read, and oh my GOD why does no one ever talk about Coriolanus... there is simply SO much going on in there. much to think about etc.

12. Any books that disappointed you?

I had multiple people I know irl recommend Mark Prins' The Latinist to me but it didn't work for me ultimately—it had a potentially interesting if somewhat cliched premise but it took some WEIRD turns in the second half and I honestly came away from it thinking mostly: hmm, YIKES, NONE of these characters feel particularly well-written and also that does NOT feel like the way to pace an ending. I didn't love Fredrik Backman's The Winners either, which is a shame because it's the last book in the Beartown series that I've been following for a while. Some of it I think was just the fact that the translation from the Swedish felt really clumsy this time (weird, as the first two were done really nicely I thought! unless i'm misremembering out of nostalgia?) but I also just didn't feel like the conclusion was all that satisfying. Justice for Benji, etc... Finally, I went into A Declaration on the Rights of Magicians by H. G. Parry fresh out of Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell and thus with high hopes, because all the blurbs compared those books to each other—and tbh I thought most of Declaration was like... laughably bad lol. Probably I should have just DNFed it but I kept waiting for it to do something interesting and it never got there... you know how there are all those obvious The Secret History knockoffs that sort of just suck and seem to miss the real Point of that book for all the time they spend just trying to recreate the aesthetics? This was basically that for JS&MN

[end-of-year book ask: send me a number!]

[divergensi]

ULASAN: SAN FRANCISCO

Apa yang akan kamu lakukan kalau ada yang nelpon minta didengerin nyanyi terus setelahnya dia ngomong "do you know the name of that song? Tell me, i won't jump!" Dan kalau jawabanmu salah, DIA BAKL TERJUN DARI GOLDEN GATE BRIDGE! Ini kisah dalam buku San Francisco karya Ziggy Z.

❝Alasan orang bunuh diri berbeda-beda,

tapi akarnya tetap sama: kesepian.

— Halaman 21.

Kalau mau lihat penampakan buku fisiknya seperti ini, ya. Simple! Untuk link pembelian... tidak ada, temanku nemu pas cuci gudang di toko buku kotanya tahun lalu. Tebak harganya berapa? Cuma 35K! Terima kasih @.meinaine 😭 belinya samaan sama Biru @.soliloku sdhshds. Lah curhat!

Baca buku Ziggy itu sebenarnya secara nggak langsung kayak nambah pengetahuan, pasti ada aja pengetahuan sepele yang sebelumnya nggak kita ketahui tapi dibahas dalam karyanya. Kalau dalam buku ini kita disuguhi berbagai macam pengetahuan tentang musik klasik. Dimulai dari judul setiap bab yang merupakan judul lagu klasik, cerita soal lagu klasik serta kisah cinta komposernya (seperti belajar sejarah musik karena tokoh Ansel Summer Payne dalam buku ini diceritakan sebagai orang yang suka cerita-cerita dibalik penggubahan lagu klasik & lebih suka lagi membagikannya. Ditambah tokoh Maharani yang punya tato yg juga terinspirasi dari lagu klasik; keren ga sih dia bisa nuangin cerita dalam lagu ke dalam bentuk gambar. Omong-omong aku suka Rani segini🤏🏻 karena dia cewek indonesia, eksentrik, unik dan melawan stigma)

Gaya bercerita kak Zee di sini bikin aku teringat gaya bercerita Ginger Elyse Shelley (YAIYALAH, KAN ORANGNYA SAMA). Soalnya aku dibuat merasa seakan ini bukan buku indonesia melainkan buku luar tapi diterjemahkan ke dalam bahasa indonesia, kayak ada aura luar negerinya gitu. Apalagi di sini Ansel-Rani terkadang ngobrolin soal indonesia yang mana penyampaian ceritanya seolah-olah ditulis dari sudut pandang orang luar. Di sini pun aku rasa, alasan kenapa penulis menuliskan dialog dalam bahasa inggris hanya pada Ansel-Rani karena hanya mereka yang mengobrol dalam bahasa inggris, sedangkan yang lainnya mengobrol dalam bahasa spanyol (kalau salah ya maaf).

Ceritanya berawal dari Ansel yang bekerja di Suicide Prevention Center terus menerima telepon pertamanya dari Rani yang mau lompat dari Golden Gate Bridge (tempat ini katanya tempat favorit orang bundir di sana). Lucunya sebelum reveal nama, pembaca pasti dibuat mikir kalau penelpon adalah cowok dan penerima telponnya cewek padahal kebalik. Nah, setelah beberapa kali bicara di telepon (pas Rani feeling suicidal tentunya) mereka malah ketemu dan jadi lebih dekat. Sampai sini pasti mikir kalau pekerjaan Ansel ini keren banget kan? Soalnya bisa menawarkan telinga dan membantu orang suicidal untuk bertahan hidup, tapi bisa bayangin nggak kalau tiap hari kamu dicekoki kesedihan dan berempati terlalu banyak apa nggak ngaruh juga sama mentalmu? Terus bisa bayangin nggak kalau ada yang menelpon bukan dengan tujuan diselamatkan tapi ingin ditemani selama proses dia meninggal? AKU SIH NGERI!

Namun, meskipun dengan banyaknya hal menarik yang kusebutkan di atas, aku menyayangkan satu hal! Padahal tema buku ini menarik tapi kenapa rasanya yang lebih banyak ditonjolkan malah musik klasik dan sejarah serta arsitektur San Francisco ketimbang penyakit mentalnya... tapi ini sih kayaknya salahku yang terlalu berekspektasi setelah membaca blurb-nya, aku pikir akan banyak membahas soal Rani, dan menggali masalah kecenderungan bunuh dirinya ternyata fokus ceritanya nggak kesana; malah ke Ansel... 🤡 Dan, meski aku nggak begitu puas dengan akhir ceritanya aku tetap merekomendasikan buku ini sebab menurutku memang layak untuk dibaca, karakter-karakter di dalamnya kece dan unik loh; terutama yang namanya Benji.