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squibsterr · 7 months ago

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Posting this cuz I like to check in and say hi to this fandom every once in a while. It's just a short, corny, unfinished fanfic. I'm not really a writer but maybe someone will enjoy this

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It was peaceful for once, maybe because the room lacked the sound of Ghost rambling on about something or yelling at Spooker and Colon for whatever. The only sound was the squeak squeak squeaaak of the swivel chair, and it was starting to get to Toast. His eyebrow twitched and he sighed in annoyance. “Spooker, can you please stop that?” he asked politely, but in an angry tone.

Spooker immediately quit what he was doing “Oh! Sorry boss” he laughed nervously and started fiddling with his thumbs. Toast smiled “Tell you what,” he began as he shut the filing cabinet. “Why don't you and Colon go solve a case for me?” he suggested. “Really!?” Spooker yelled and Ghost jumped up from his nap. “Wha- wha’s going on?” he slurred. Spooker almost fell with how much he leaned out of his seat in excitement.

“Yes it would be very helpful” Toast nodded his head. Chris looked from his phone as what was being said piqued his interest. “What's the call about?” he asked. Toast took a second to recall. “Well some guy called about how when he sat up from his chair, he turned around and it was gone” he explained. Chris raised his eyebrow with an unamused expression.

“Oh, that one?” Ghost lifted his head back up. “Yeah have them go to that. It'll give me time to actually sleep” he stared daggers at Spooker. Spooker jumped up and squealed in delight. “Ooooh did you hear that Colon? We're going on a solo mission!” he shook his fists. Chris sat up from his chair. “Yeah man, but it's not a solo mission if two people are going” he corrected. “Oh... Haha… well then I guess it's a duo mission?” he shrugged. Chris reached up his hand for a high five and Spooker gave him one. “Heck yeah” he smiled.

Spooker was jumping up and down. “Let's go pack the equipment!” he said, and they both ran off. Ghost looked up at Toast. “That was a good idea, Johnny. I'm ninety-nine percent sure that call was a prank call” he said. Toast stared at the door their two co-workers' exited. “Well, I wasn't trying to be mean sir. I was just giving them a reason to get out of headquarters for a while” he had a look of guilt on his face. Ghost let his head fall back down on the desk. “Well now I can finally take my nap,” he said. Toast chuckled. “You do that sir” he rubbed the other's back before turning away.

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“Alright, so the place should be the last house on this street…” Chris turned the car. Spooker seemed unnerved. “Man, this area is eerily quiet. I haven't seen any other cars drive around here” he said as he looked around. Chris quickly patted his head. “It's not that out of the ordinary. I mean it is getting pretty late. And maybe this area is just peaceful” he said.

“Yeah your right” Spooker agreed. Chris pulled the car into the driveway of the client's house, the headlights shining onto it and he parked the car. “Alright let's go,” he said and they both got out.

They made their way to the porch and knocked on the door. They waited, waited, and waited. Chris was tapping his foot in boredom and Spooker tiredly leaned his head on his shoulder. “Maybe he’s not ho-” he was cut off by the door abruptly opening. It revealed a disheveled-looking man who seemed as if he hadn't slept in days. “Hey, you here about the ghost?” He asked.

Chris nodded his head. “Yup, Chris Ghostie and Fred Soup at your service sir” he reached out to shake the man's hand, but he just stared at it. Chris seemed a little weirded out. “Are you gonna…?” He trailed off. “Oh!” He exclaimed in realization as he snapped out of his haze. He took Chris’s hand and frantically started shaking it. “My names… Ben. Thank you so much for coming!” he said a bit louder than needed. Chris had to pry his hand out of Ben’s. “It's no problem” he shifted his gaze to the ground uncomfortably. Spooker smiled. “Can you show us inside?” he asked. “Oh, yes” Ben turned around to get the door.

The two P.I.E members followed the man into the house. It was very dirty and looked abandoned. The two of them felt uneasy but they couldn't back out. Ben turned around to look at them with an awkward grin on his face. “W- welcome to my home please make yourself… at home?” he said. There was a brief silence before Chris spoke up. “Right… and can you tell us where you've been having paranormal problems?” he asked.

“Oh uh- yeah” Ben stuttered. He pointed to a room next to them. “In there,” he said. “Okay we'll get right to it sir” Chris responded and Ben went to sit on the only furniture in sight, his torn-up couch. Chris turned to look at Spooker and held his hand in front of the side of his face so Ben wouldn't hear. “There’s definitely something wrong with that man” he whispered. Spooker gasped. “How could you just say that dude?” he hushed. Chris gestured to Ben. “Just look at him,” he said. Ben was muttering to himself, his eyelid twitching while also chewing on his fingernail. “He looks like a zombie he's seriously giving me the creeps dude. And this place looks like it hasn't been lived in, in years” he explained.

“Well all is see is a troubled man in need of our help” Spooker crossed his arms and pouted. Chris just sighed. “Whatever man let's just put a pin in it for now. Let's go” he reached for the doorknob of the room and upon contact it immediately fell off. “Well that's just great,” Spooker said sarcastically. Chris took a step back and kicked the door open. Spooker stared in awe. “Wow, man that was awesome!” Spooked exclaimed, Chris smirked. “Yeah I know I'm pretty cool” They both crept into the room, the floorboards creaking under their feet. The only thing they could see was a chair in the middle of the room.

Spooker whimpered in fear. “It’s so dark in here. The only thing I can see is-“ he turned around and the entrance of the room was completely gone. Chris went to feel around the wall. “What the hell Where'd it go!?” he questioned. Spooker started yelling at the top of his lungs. “Spooker!… Spooker!… Snap out of it Fred!” Chris smacked him across the face. Spooker rubbed his cheek. “Ow,” he whined.

“Listen, man, in a situation like this we have to ask ourselves what we do if we were Ghost and Toast?” he asked. Spooker paused and hummed in thought. “Kiss?” he suggested. “What!? No w- okay they totally would” he laughed. Spooker raised his eyebrow. “But I don't think kissing is going to help us out of this situation…” he said. “Oh wait! Colon our flashlights!” he pulled a flashlight out from his utility belt and switched it on

“Good thinking dude” Chris did the same and they shined their lights toward the chair. The light revealed a dark hallway leading to who knows where

#taleblr

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folklauerate · 2 years ago

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hiya big royals au fan over here and i'm wondering if you'd be so kind as to drop some fig and newton headcanons for us!

Omg I'm HONORED that you're a royals au fan, I'm TOUCHED that you've read my work 😫😫😫🤌🏼🤌🏼🤌🏼*

Fig and Newton headcanons--I HAVE SO MANY, THANKS FOR ASKING!

They are literally best friends, like BEST FUCKING FRIENDS! Neither of Anthony and Kate's other dogs loves them as much as they love each other; Roger is too old and the cats just like to sleep with him, and Albert thinks he is a human and doesn't deign to interact with the corgis. As a result, Fig and Newton are happily allowed to be obsessed with each other

Newton knows that Kate is pregnant. Fig does not because he is not very smart! He figures it out when his mom has a very large belly and he and Newton can't both fit on her lap

Baby Edmund is obsessed with these two. Newton, who is two years older than Fig, and therefore An Adult TM, is very gentle and lets Edmund hold his tail and crawl. Fig needs to be reminded by Newton that he has to be gentle, but he likes to lick Edmund's hands and nap with him

Miles, who is a chaos baby the moment he comes out, gets along with Fig like a house on fire. I'm talking this puppy aids and abets this toddler into doing anything. They'll chase each other around the halls of Highgrove House or Clarence House, they go everywhere together, Miles will throw food off his highchair because Newton does funny little jumps and eats it, and they basically give Kate, Anthony, Mary, and their staff a headache

For their first Halloween, Kate dresses Fig and Newton up as Ewoks. She goes as General Leia, Anthony is Han Solo, and Baby Edmund (just barely a month old) is Yoda lol

Fig is allergic to poultry

Newton once ate hot gravel from when Kate and Anthony were getting the road up to Highgrove House redone. He was fine!

Newton also once tried to eat an entire chicken bone and Kate had to reach into his mouth and pull it out (as dog owners often do)

Occasionally, Albert will allow Fig to come cuddle with him. He has a soft spot for him, but don't tell anyone

Miles once almost crushed Fig by attempting to ride him like a horse (Fig had no idea he was going to d word, he was just vibing)

Fig and Newton are so popular with the British public that they get their own special Buckingham Palace mugs, plates, and other souvenirs

After Kate gets Fig, corgi sales skyrocket across the UK. People are obsessed with the Queen and her corgis (lol)

After Kate and Anthony get engaged, and take their official engagement portraits, Newton wanders into the room their in, and interrupts the session, demanding pets from them. The photographer takes candids, and those photos go viral; Kate and Anthony laughing and cooing over this ridiculous rotund corgi

Kate insists Newton be in some of their official wedding portraits--again, those photos go viral

Royals often get official paintings done of them. For his fifth birthday, Anthony commissions Ben to paint one of Fig and Newton

*on a very real note, I am touched, everyday, that Leaf betas this for me, and read over all my chapters and writing before I even asked her to beta and just had a panic spiral that my writing sucked and wanted her to look over things before I posted :,) I love you so very much, Miss Leaf! I am so grateful for you and so grateful that I can trust you with my rough drafts and messy concepts and wild ideas and that you take the time to listen to me! <3

#fig and newton #royals au #the set up #kathony

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spaciousreasoning · 11 days ago

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Zooming the Steps

This morning’s blood sugar was up to 150, due most likely to the relative lateness of our meal after the meeting last night, which included tater tots.

We got the day started with our usual coffee and brain games, mostly of which were easy stuff for a Monday morning. While we made our cheesy eggs, bacon bits, and toast with jam for breakfast, I played some Death Cab for Cutie tunes for Nancy. Ben Gibbard, the founder of the band, co-wrote the theme song for “Shrinking,” which we really like. Nancy had never heard of Death Cab, but she enjoyed the collection of tunes from Spotify.

We made an appointment for Jan. 22 for our annual first of the year phone call and chat with the Edward Jones representative. Then we went to Albertsons for some cookie ingredients and more stuff.

After putting away the groceries, Nancy and I went for a short walk around our block, just .6 of a mile. It took just under 15 minutes at a slow pace. My left foot is not doing great. Even the slow walk brought some pain.

With Kathleen coming over to play the piano, I headed out for some solo time. I stopped at Old Crow to get a mocha, then dropped off our old toaster and some pants Nancy did not order at St. Vinnie’s. Then I took a burned out blow dryer to Best Buy, which recycles old electronics.

After those errands, I spent time driving around different parts of town, trying to familiarize myself even more with our new environs. I finally stopped by the Target on the west side of town and found a flannel sheet set that was nicer than the ones that were available at the Gateway Target the other day.

When I got home, Kathleen was still playing the piano. Or, they said, she was just starting, because she and Nancy evidently spent a bit of time in conversation.

A couple of calendars were returned by the Post Office for what they claimed were bad addresses. I asked my sister Deborah and a Tucson friend to help find good addresses for the two whose calendars were returned. Deborah said Marion’s address is still the same. I then reached Marion via Messenger and she confirmed it. I’ll be taking the envelope to the Post Office tomorrow and telling them they need to deliver this without me having to put another stamp on it.

I also got my ABRS check for the final quarter of 2024.

Another NA step group met via Zoom today for the first time, at 5 p.m. Oregon time. Michael, from the Tuesday men’s meeting, is leading this one as well. There’s also Jeremy, who lives south of Eugene/Springfield, somewhere between Roseburg and Myrtle Creek, and Tim, who lives in northern Idaho now but used to live in Alaska for many years. He and his wife are currently doing some traveling, and he dialed in from somewhere in northern California.

After the meeting, Nancy and I had leftovers from Friday night, the chicken and rice and roasted veggies. For dessert we had a small chocolate cake a friend gave me Sunday night at the meeting.

Then we streamed some entertainment, starting with the first episode of a new series, “Joan,” based on the true story of a woman who went from housewife and mother to petty offender, diamond thief and criminal mastermind in 1980s London. Then we watched another “Father Brown,” the first episode in the fifth series, which was something of a Christmas special; and wrapped the evening with the next episode in the third series of “Harry Wild.”

Having missed our usual afternoon naps, we made it to bed right about 10 p.m., good timing, given my early Tuesday appointment with the doctor to try and find out what’s going on with my foot.

#oregon #life #walking #streaming #recovery

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aestheticvoyage2023 · 2 years ago

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Day 128: Monday May 8, 2023 - “After Action”

I spent the day feeling very accomplished and proud of myself as I debriefed with Audrie, regaling her with stories from our three day excursion through Phoenix and St Louis and back. It was my first solo trip flying with William, who at 22 months is still breast feeding and working on potty training. This was a big bite. A very big bite for this Dad who is working hard to figure it all out and be a rock. This was huge - not something that I had to do, but something I wanted to do; something I needed to do, to level up. It felt exactly the same as the first time I threw my heavy back pack on for my first ever overnight in the Wild and how proud and confident and bad ass that felt. Exactly the same feelings. And with the literal non-stop task-loading I did from Friday at 3:30pm until Sunday at 7:00pm, I was pretty mentally drained when I hit my pillow; but today on the day-after, I could sit back in awe with some real pride of how it all came together.

Looking back over the 3 day run, I noted the things Id do different (like maybe make sure to pack shoes!), and shared the things that I thought really went well (I definitely aced bringing the big mama-water). I laughed at my “Jesus Take The Wheel” presentation to TSA and how now I think I could go back and ace that like an old pro after my two trips through. Ben sent me a picture he’d snapped at Lambert Airport before hugging goodbye - with me carrying my intentional planning (literally) - the bones of the whole operation on display. Car Seat, Suitcase to check with both of our clothes and bathroom bags, messenger bag of books, snacks, and toys, stroller, diaper bag, and the old “throw it in there” bag which will absolutely be a staple of every trip I take with him from now on. The intentional planning of every piece - checked the car seat and the suitcase, kept my shoulder bag and everything else went under the stroller, which was gate checked, with the ease of a bullride. I played it all through in my head several times the week before to make sure I had it all visualized and knew how it would go before it went, taking my weekend Dad-show on the road. And it went, just as I had visualized. My operation is aced.

I couldn’t have done any of this on intentional planning alone. As is usually the case with the standby game, getting there with confidence was easy, with load updates right up until boarding. Its the getting home that is always the crap-shoot. I thanked my lucky stars for the run of good standby luck, made possible by my skillful planning to give myself the best options by starting the trip Friday out of Phoenix AND the blind luck of an intoxicated guy getting booted to ensure my one spot home. But I felt confident that either way that would’ve gone yesterday, travelling back, I was ready for it. 5 hour energy, snacks to the gills, books including the long Choo Choo book - I was ready to play the long game if I had to; I worked hard to manage my expectations. My mind was steady through it all - “slow is fast. slow is fast” | “take it as it comes” I literally coached my way through the weekend with my “Dadconscious.” And just like weekends at home, I checked the waypoints until the only thing left to do was get home on this 3.5 hour middleseat flight. We were the last two rushed on in a standby stroke of luck, helped by a Flight Attendant that carried William for me, and sat us down where I was too cramped to even get my headphones or snacks. I buckled in and knew it was on me to bring this whole trip home strong by relaxing William to sleep, keeping him comfortable and steady and off the people on either side. Id skillfully worked Sunday to try to line up this flight with a long hard earned nap and it worked as planned. But now, with no entertainment and nothing to do but to just sit there still as I can be letting him sleep, I passed the slow time, mentally preparing for the witching hour coming my way once he woke up, and how I’d manage the close quarters here on the descent with a rested excited stir crazy toddler and no back up aside from my own resilient mindful will; the one thing that no amount of intentional planning could help with. I would now be leaning full on to my mindfulness as I rode this last wave. With about an hour to go, he started to wiggle himself awake, until finally his eyes opened, and mindfully I worked with him to land the plane with no tears and no real struggle. With our wheels back down in Arizona, the only left now was to get our luggage, and get to the car, and drive home. Mission accomplished.

And it was nice today, to be able to sit in my success and be proud of it, and share what I had learned as if I had just climbed some mountain or aced some trail - some real adventure. And I suppose thats what its always about, out here living a great story. That no matter what it is that you’re trying to do, that you go for it and stretch your boundaries, and level up. I definitely did that this past weekend, and today I felt like a whole new Dad.

Song: Brian Wright - You Got It All

Quote: “Let us step into the night and pursue that flighty temptress, adventure.” ― J.K. Rowling

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callifantasy · 5 years ago

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Got my hands on this little thing!

Let's see how suffering 1/4 plays out! 🥺

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thisisartbylexie · 4 years ago

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Don't disappear Darlin', I want you (Don't leave me here) And when the day comes (I'll meet you here) 'Cause I know that wishes come true Finding my way back to you

- x

#reylo #Rey from Nowhere #Ben Solo #I'm salty as Crait #I just want softness ok?#this song makes me emotional #this was sitting in my WIP for too long and I figured that I needed to stop fiddling with it and just post #I really love doing this style but it's so much work I often run out of patience #I want to make things more like illustrations but ooof #I need a nap now #use references kids #it helps a whole lot

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emilyredekerart · 4 years ago

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. mighty kylo ren .

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Commissions are open! Info here, message me if interested!

Credit me if you repost.

Please be respectful in the comments.

Do not involve my artwork in fandom arguments.

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thewonderfulblue · 5 years ago

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me @ all the fresh reylo content that slaps me in the face every time I open tumblr

#reylo #kylo x rey #tros #star wars tros #reylo is endgame #heck ya #lets go #im not prepared for this movie #i need a nap #my babies #my babiiiiiiies #dlf is slowly killing me #rey #ben solo

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steeevienicks · 6 years ago

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Super bowl is boring af so I played with my new wig and became an *almost* con ready Fem Swolo (ft. The goodwill pile I haven't done shit with).

I used a nude lipstick as the scar because I'm almost out of my actual scarring liquid and want to save it for eccc.

#cosplay #fem swolo #ben solo #ben swolo #kylo ren #star wars #star wars cosplay #bored #i need a nap

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rynwritesstuff · 3 years ago

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King of my Heart - Prologue

Summary of Story: After being kidnapped and held prisoner by pirates, you flee their clutches and escape into the forest a few miles away from the palace. You are found by a dashing young man, Benjamin. He rescues you, and it is then that you find out that Benjamin is royalty. Benjamin helps you recover from the trauma you faced, and in the midst of everything, a beautiful love blooms between the two of you.

This story will contain: Mentions/talk of rape/sexual assault, sexism, mentions/talk of being captured, NSFW content (PIV sex, name-calling, oral sex), and more (in-depth chapter warning is below)

This chapter contains: Brief mention of rape/sexual assault, brief mention of being captured, panicky feelings, brief name-calling

*I TRIED TO TAG THIS TO THE BEST OF MY ABILITY, BUT IF I MISSED SOMETHING, PLEASE LET ME KNOW!*

(I want to say a HUGE thank-you to @mrs-gucci for proofreading this for me and generally motivating me to do what I love!)

*If you would like to be added to the taglist for this story, please send me a message, ask, or comment!

Read chapter one here

There is a willow tree near the middle of the forest about a mile away from the royal palace where the Solo’s reside. The tree is tall and beautiful, and it’s leaves blow in the wind wonderfully. Today, there is a fog that covers the tree, coats it as paint does a canvas.

Ben Solo, the young prince, believes that this tree is the grandest thing he has ever laid eyes on. He rides there nearly everyday to read or write or nap. He feels safe there, under the willow tree, but today?

Today, something feels wrong.

There is a strange scent in the air, one that tells him that a storm is coming. Ben pays it no mind, and instead pulls a pastry from his bag and simply goes back to reading his novel.

On the other side of the forest, near the sea, you are running. There are tears in your eyes, and they run down your cheeks and stain your bosom. You are barefoot, and your dress is covered in grime. You run faster, breasts bouncing as men yell behind you.

“Catch her!” the leader tells his followers. “Do not let the harlot escape!”

You hide behind a tree, your chest heaving as you cover your mouth. Your heart is beating quickly, thudding rapidly in your chest. You close your eyes for a moment, and more tears run down your cheeks.

Please, do not let them find me, you silently beg to whatever God may be listening. You have lost everything: Your home, your family, your belongings, your pride . . . Your virginity. Those men, those scoundrels, they took everything that could ever matter to you, and you have finally escaped.

“We are not leaving without her!” the leader bellows. “Get my harlot back!”

You are frightened that they will see you, that they will find you, that they will hear the pounding of your feet against the grass, but their voices are becoming more distant. The village can’t be far from here, you realize, and you begin to run again, breathing ragged and tense.

You reach a willow tree, and beneath it sits a young man. He looks up when he hears the sound of quick footsteps. He gets to his feet, and when he sees you, his eyes widen.

“Are you hurt, miss?” he asks. You let out a sob.

“Please,” you beg. “Please, help me. P-Pirates . . . “

Ben’s heart sinks. Oh, this poor woman. She’s covered in blood and sweat and dirt, and her hair is in desperate need of a wash. So is the rest of her, if he’s honest.

“Come,” Ben says, waving you over. He gathers his things quickly. “I’ll take you somewhere safe.”

Relief floods you, and you nearly collapse as it washes over you.

“God, thank you, thank you, sir–”

“Shh, shh, you’re alright, miss,” Ben says, taking your shaking hand and guiding you towards his horse. “Are you hungry?”

You nod.

“Desperately so,” you admit. Ben pulls an apple from his bag and hands it to you before helping you onto his horse.

“This will not be a long ride, miss,” he says reassuringly as he mounts as well. You, tired and frightened and overwhelmed, lean your head against his shoulder as you hold onto him tightly.

“Thank you, thank you . . . “

Ben looks around the woods nervously, then gives his horse a kick. The two of you gallop off towards the royal palace as rain begins to fall.

Tagging a few folks who might enjoy this: @safarigirlsp @mrs-gucci @clydesfavoritegirl @eagerforhoney @mrs-zimmerman

(If you’d like to be tagged in this, please let me know!)

#ben solo #medieval!ben solo #ben solo x y/n #ben solo x you #ben solo x reader #kylo ren #kylo x reader #kylo x you #kylo ren x y/n #medieval!kylo ren #medieval!ben #medieval au #star wars #star wars characters #star wars character #rynwritesstuff

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thebibliomancer · 3 years ago

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Essential Avengers: West Coast Avengers #11: PRIDE of the REGIMENT

August, 1986

Looks like the West Coast Avengers are going to fight some more random idiots!

Like I said last time, Master Pandemonium is fine and good but, yeah, I want to see random jerks.

And these random jerks sure do look randomly jerky!

And and, Iron Man is involved! I’ve felt like he was getting sidelined a lot earlier in the series so look at him being front and also center!

Of the three non-Avenger dinguses on the cover, I only recognize the sai guy, since he was in Batroc’s mercenary group in Great Lakes Avengers.

Guess I’ll find out who they are INSIDE. Except I read this digitally so more VAGUELY TO THE RIGHT.

Last times in West Coast Avengers: Tigra has been having trouble with her cat soul being super horny so she made a secret deal with the cat king of the cat world of the cat people to kill Master Pandemonium in exchange for removing one of her souls. But she screwed it up and he got away. So she’s still super horny and has made plays at both Hank Pym and Wonder Man and also has a cat guy boyfriend on the side that she can magically summon. Wonder Man learned about Tigra and Hank but Hank still thinks he and Tigra are exclusive. Also, other people are on the team and have their own stuff. Wonder Man was cast in a movie! Ben Grimm almost joined the team but didn’t! Really, this is kind of a standalone and I didn’t need to explain anything!

The issue starts with Mockingbird being really angry, possibly at people wanting her to change her long distance service.

But, no.

Hank Pym assumes the phone system glitched and complains about her treating the equipment roughly.

Hank Pym: “I just got the last bugs out of that system, Mockingbird! You didn’t have to slam it down!”

Iron Man: “Nobody ever gets the last bugs out of a system, Hank! After a while you call them ‘features’!”

HAH!

Iron Man asks what has Mockingbird so mad and she says “Ohhh -- the world!”

Hawkeye: “Oh! Is that all?”

HAH!

Okay but for serious, Mockingbird is mad that people pick on poor, defenseless intelligence agencies like SHIELD.

Which.

I mean. Okay, it makes sense for her character. She worked for SHIELD most of her adult life. She’s got a lot of identity tied up in intelligence work. But its like when Jen Walters, She-Hulk, complained that people were picking on the poor oil companies in her solo series.

They do not need help!

In this specific context, SHIELD is having a rough time in the press recently because they lost a helicarrier and there are reports of agent brutality. Which Mockingbird thinks is just media sensationalizing.

I don’t know though.

Mockingbird has decided that she’s going to go visit Nick Fury and get his side of the story. She invites Iron Man and Hawkeye along. Iron Man doesn’t really get along with Nick Fury since Nick Fury tried to take over his- I mean his boss’ company a while back but he does care about the actual SHIELD agency (since he was an advisor to the board that founded it (this is, of course, before the retcon that SHIELD is a super old counter-cult to the super old Hydra cult. Or something)).

What was I talking about?

Iron Man: “But can Hawkeye get in, now that the Avengers have a restricted clearance?”

Mockingbird: “Heaven help me, Iron Man, but I’ll vouch for this suspicious character!”

This is actually a fairly cute moment. Just the (West Coast) Avengers goofing around together.

Speaking of cute, Tigra is just napping poolside while Wonder Man swims hundreds of laps.

Just friends existing adjacent.

This is just a fun moment.

Mockingbird is afraid she’s going to become one of those annoying people who talks up California’s weather vs New York winters.

Iron Man had to turn down the solar power converters on his armor because ITS JUST TOO SUNNY.

And Wonder Man has apparently decided that he’s going to get in shape (??) by swimming 300 laps a day.

Simon, if you get in any more shape, you’re going to be cubist.

Hawkeye invites Wonder Man (but not Tigra, apparently?) to go visit SHIELD with them but Wonder Man has to go be in the movie he’s in.

And Tigra invites herself along to that.

So that’s where everyone is going to be in this issue.

Wonder Man and Tigra at the Arkon movie studio and the other three West Coast Avengers at the “Hair Razing” hair salon.

Good name. No one will ever suspect that its a secret SHIELD base.

The pink-haired hairdresser Josyane who speaks in an OOTRAGEOUS FRENCH ACCENT is a SHIELD plant and also a hairdresser. The other one, Cherie, has no idea that there’s a secret base under the salon.

So as a flawless cover story why several people are coming in when the salon is booked solid, Mockingbird claims to be Bobbi van Dyne of the Cleveland van Dynes. And Hawkeye and Iron Man are hilariously in disguise as her bodyguards Antonio and Bruno.

Tony looks so silly. But I guess he had to wear something that would cover his armor. Even though what he wears in no way could cover his armor.

Also, Josyane asks who did Mockingbird’s new hairdo.

Mockingbird: “David, at the Sainte Regine! But that big palooka over there won’t even acknowledge I got it done!”

Hawkeye: “So I like long hair! So sue me!”

Mockingbird: “I got it chopped after fighting a werewolf -- it was getting in my way!”

Hawkeye, indignant: “So I like long hair...!”

Heh.

He’s so grumpy.

Iron Man is boggled that Hawkeye hasn’t mentioned the haircut at all since Tony Stark is a guy who would notice a haircut.

Hawkeye: “Hey, I know you know all about women, Iron Man, but I’m the one who fell in love with a long-haired cutie! And it’s because I’m in love that I don’t mention the way she resembles the quarterback of the Chicago Bears!”

So, you’re trying to start a fight?

Anyway, as these secret hair salon bases go, the West Coast Avengers sit in the seas and get lowered to the secret base.

Where SHIELD agents immediately surround them, pull guns, and start shooting at the superheroes.

Hawkeye: “Don’t’cha know who we are, you idiots? We’re the Avengers!”

SHIELD idiot: “Avengers are security risks!”

That’s not untrue but still! Simmer down!

As you might expect, the Avengers make the SHIELD agents look like fools and chumps.

(And now that the topic has come up, Hawkeye really isn’t letting the hair thing go)

Once a small army of agents gets embarrassed, Nick Fury comes in shouting.

He tells them that considering they were fighting superheroes they did pretty good and then pivots immediately from compliment to MORE yelling. Telling them to do better than pretty good next time and then calls them goldbrickers because Nick Fury’s vocabulary never evolves.

Once he finishes putting the fear of Fury in his men, Nick Fury turns to the superheroes and asks what they’re so upset about.

When they say they weren’t expecting to be attacked unprompted, Nick Fury tells them to get over it.

Iron Man (secretly Tony Stark) even says that his cool boss Tony Stark didn’t expect such a “garrison mentality” from SHIELD and Nick Fury tells him “my heart bleeds for yer playboy boss, Iron Man!” And then blames all of SHIELD’s troubles on Tony Stark not selling him guns.

Hey, Nick, get over it?

But Mockingbird, as mentioned, has a big place in her heart for SHIELD so she says that the (West Coast) Avengers are here to see if they can help with SHIELD’s troubles.

AND THEN SHE STARTS RECAPPING HER HISTORY WITH SHIELD TO NICK FURY

WHO WAS THERE FOR IT

Ah, I make fun but I do love when a comic goes ‘so you probably haven’t read issues x, y, and z of series 1, 2, and 3 and fan wikis don’t exist yet so lemme just catch you up.’

I think losing this attitude was a big contributor to comics becoming unwelcoming to new readers.

Anyway. Recapped backstory.

Bobbi Morse was a scientist in a SHIELD lab when Nick Fury decided ‘this girl needs to kick people in the face’ and trained her to be a field agent.

As Agent 19, she was sent to hang out in the Savage Land with Ka-Zar. They met Gog!

Anyway, after Bobbi came back from the Savage Land, she was tasked by a congressional committee with hunting down moles at the highest levels of SHIELD.

So she quit the agency so she could do her mole hunt as HUNTRESS!

No, not the Batman one.

Since Nick Fury didn’t know who this Huntress was or why she was jumpkicking SHIELD station chiefs in the head, he put her on a most wanted list.

So she changed her name to Mockingbird.

Glad she didn’t stick with her first look. It’s kinda generic.

Then she Mavel teamed up with Spider-Man to take down a mole in New York and got shot a lot by agents of SHIELD when she tried to run over to greet Nick Fury after he saved her from the mole.

I mean, running at a dude when you’re wearing a mask and he’s surrounded by a bunch of people holding guns... even Bobbi admits it was a dumb decision.

Mockingbird: “After I recovered, I stayed solo -- then went double with the guy who likes long hair here -- "

This hair thing is becoming one of those couple cold wars. They’re going to be sniping at each other over this until they either fight or Hawkeye breaks down.

Anyway, Nick says he owes a lot to Mockingbird for what she did IS WHAT HE WOULD SAY but she stayed solo and SHIELD’s problems are only for SHIELD to worry about.

Nick Fury: “We’re supposed ta be a secret organization, an’ I can’t have ex-agents waltzin’ in and out while I’m tryin’ ta solve my new problems! -- Or guys who put profit before the interests o’ the world!”

Iron Man: “You thick-skulled, right-wing -- ! When Tony Stark stopped making weapons he was able to start on projects that would serve the world -- like his new satellite research facility enabling man and his technology to benefit from -- !”

Nick Fury: “Sure! You an’ your boss’re big on the fancy stuff, ya walkin’ tank -- not like us grunts who’re out there on a thousand frontlines protectin’ the world day after day after day! My boys an’ girls do the grimy work, while you super guys get all the glory! Well, we don’t mind -- it’s always been like that for the joes, in any war -- but if my boys an’ girls get a little tight now an’ again, you can understand why!”

Someone call the waambulance for Nick.

I’ve never really been all that wild about Nick Fury. Mostly its just disinterest. Early on, I was really only about Spider-Man and the X-Men. ‘Cause cartoons. Nick Fury showed up sometimes but c’mon, he wasn’t a cool superhero like Spider-Man.

And now I’m older and less wild about Nick Fury. I just hate his hard man hard choices there are walls and there are men on those walls attitude.

Then I was exposed to Ultimate Nick Fury and geez he’s just worse. In all those regards. And how he went out of his way to just be a huge asshole. Not for spy reasons. Just because. So he can smirk about what a cool alpha male guy he is, I guess.

Getting off track, basically Nick Fury is kicking them out of the secret base.

Hawkeye thinks to himself that he’d just do Nick a murder if he didn’t have to be respectable as leader of the team. Which is funny. He’s so annoyed he has to be responsible.

And so Mockingbird wins the Great Hair War, but not when she’s in the mood to appreciate it.

Also:

Nick Fury: “Hey -- Bobbi Morse! Barton! As long as yer gonna be an Avenger -- let ‘em know SHIELD trains its troops ta be the best!”

Hawkeye: “Avengers, Fury, are born the best -- not trained!”

That is patently untrue, Hawkeye.

The Avengers train so much. There’s so much training and Cap gets huffy if you’re late for training and they also want you to do assigned reading on all the previous cases.

Meanwhile, movie set.

Simon Williams on the set of the Arkon movie.

There’s movie stuff going on. The important part is that Simon is going to show his ionic eyes for the movie.

So I guess he’s gotten more comfortable with showing them off! Or I hope he is because he’s agreed to have them in the movie!

Also, incoming Tigra being catty again.

Yay.

Simon, completely unaware of the potent hate beams radiating off of Tigra, introduces her to Christy Carson. Who... I don’t remember what job she has on this movie set.

The important point being is that Tigra gets mad.

Tigra: He likes her more than he likes me! I don’t like that! Just because I play the field doesn’t mean I like coming in second anywhere!

That’s an argument, Tigra.

She doesn’t realize though that Simon learned about her and Hank so he’s stepping back from the tentative relationship he had with Tigra.

So she starts hanging off Simon’s agent Dino to make him jealous but he just observes that “Tigra and L.A. were made for each other -- !”

MEANWHILE, Hank Pym, non-superhero but adjacent to superhero guy, follows up on the Master Pandemonium problem.

Someone is still remembering that subplot.

Since the West Coast Avengers learned from Master Pandemonium narrating about himself that he was a major movie star and that he owns Anvil Studios, Hank is checking at the local bureaucracy to see who is the registered owner of the studio.

Hank Pym: “The files will tell us the name of the registered owner -- and checking out files is just my speed now -- there’s no need tying up any of the active Avengers!”

Buuuuut

When the records are pulled, Hank discovers that the deeds for specifically Anvil Studios - and none of the adjacent pages - have been burned away. Leaving only the smell of sulfur.

How mysterious.

Hank decides to take some of the charred page remnants to run SCIENCE tests on them.

Meanwhile, back with Mockingbird, Iron Man, and Hawkeye.

Hawkeye prods Mockingbird into talking about her feelings.

Mockingbird: “I just never thought that you’re either in or out when it comes to intelligence work!”

Hawkeye: “Any regrets?”

Mockingbird: “You know there aren’t, sport! When I got you, I got all I’ll ever really need in life! But it’s like being disowned, being frozen out of SHIELD! It hurts my pride!”

She’s tempted to turn this sky-cycle around and force Nick Fury to accept her help.

Hawkeye jokes that it’s comforting that he’s not the only leader that screws things up.

Iron Man: “What have you screwed up -- other than Firebird’s membership?”

Hawkeye: “That’s enough, isn’t it?”

He himself is tempted to turn this sky-cycle around and ask Firebird to join the team. But he’s realized that its better to give Firebird some space from him.

Iron Man: “That’s very insightful, Clint!”

Hawkeye: “Yeah, well, I got Agent 19 on my case -- an’ I want to keep her there -- so I’m correcting my deficiencies! -- Minor as they may be!”

Stay classy, Clint!

And then a guy jumps off a building onto Iron Man and shorts out his armor. And two goobers tackle Mockingbird and Hawkeye off their sky-cycle.

No respect for people having a conversation. Geez.

So these three goons are Razorfist (the guy with stabby hands), Zaran the Weapons Master (the guy with the red ponytail), and Shockwave (the guy in the power armor).

Hilariously, Mockingbird declares that these guys are OBVIOUSLY kung fu fighters based on how they land.

Shockwave’s armor is built for electrical attacks as Iron Man finds out when he tries to backhand him. There’s an enormous electrical discharge which shorts out Iron Man’s armor.

Iron Man: Massive overloads -- no matter what amperage I design the circuit breakers for, somebody always finds a way to overload them! System’s gone to level 3 -- have to reset them manually!

Which will take time, time that Shockwave very much won’t give Tony as he kicks him in the face and easily dodges Iron Man’s ponderous counterattack. Because turns out that the Iron Man armor is very heavy when the power is out!

Hawkeye is doing better with his opponent, Zaran (the Weapons Master).

Womp womp.

Zaran spins this positively since he’s a martial arts dude he Craves Challenge Etc. He says that he should have come to America sooner because of the cool guys to fight like Captain America and Hawkeye.

He pulls out some shuriken but Hawkeye drops a smoke arrow and dodges the attack.

Zaran again spins this positively. He still has the advantage because Avengers don’t kill. Plus:

Zaran, the Weapons Master: “Monsieur Khruul gave my associates and myself a complete dossier on your weaknesses! You’ll try to subdue me with your one weapon -- while I kill you with any one of a hundred!”

Oh boy, guy. That is an argument.

Like, for one thing, where are you getting all these weapons? I see some daggers or something in your gloves but you haven’t used them. Where did you pull a whole ass wooden bo staff?

For two thing, you’re a kung fu fighter or whatever, according to Mockingbird. Shouldn’t you know the one kick ten thousand times versus ten thousand kicks one time thing?

Hawkeye is clearly better with you with his one weapon than you are with any individual thing.

ALSO, with all his trick arrows, you can’t say his fighting style lacks variety!

Anyway, what Hawkeye took from all that was recognizing Monsieur Khruul from Avengers #121-123.

Guy supposedly died in issue #123 so I don’t know how he’s giving away dossiers. He was killed by an alien dragon which is a pretty conclusive way to die, all things told.

I guess one of his family could be the new Monsieur Khruul but its weird to drop a callback into this issue if it’s not even the same dude.

So if it was the same dude who gave these dudes the dossiers, how long have they been sitting on this attack?

Or: how long ago was Avengers #123 supposed to be??

(Hawkeye wasn’t even on the team for that story so I don’t know why SPECIFICALLY Monsier Khruul would have a dossier on him.)

Moving on.

Over with Mockingbird vs Razorfist, Razorfist gloats that he only has to hit Mockingbird once to kill her. Which is big talk considering she’s making him look like he’s flailing angrily.

Mockingbird: “Some folks have said I mock them when I fight, the way I’m always one step ahead of them -- one inch beyond their reach! But I just know how to fight -- right?”

Then she flips him on his ass.

His mistake was attacking her when she had a lot of frustration to work out.

Also, she’s kinda pissed about him using kung fu to kill instead of for spiritual discipline.

Razorfist: ‘This is fine, sexism will save me’

Mockingbird: ‘Low kick, lol!’

Meanwhile, Iron Man is still have a bad day with Shockwave.

Guy keeps hitting Tony to prevent him from resetting the armor.

(Iron Man manages to shoot a unibeam at Shockwave, which he dodges. But I guess that means there’s some power left? I dunno how that works.)

Shockwave finally manages to fuse the system reset closed so Iron Man can’t even get to it but grabbing onto Iron Man’s Iron Arm lets him... reverse the polarity? Which flings Shockwave away from him.

Then Iron Man jumps on him, yelling about how this is a character moment for him because he fixed his life from the spiral he had been in and chose to continue as Iron Man.

Also, he grabs Shockwave by the throat and starts choking him. Wow, kinda intense, Tony.

Shockwave threatens to blow out the rest of the circuits in the Iron Man armor but he’s overlooked something.

Iron Man: “But once my circuits go, my hands will be locked around your neck, with all my weight on top! I wouldn’t kill you consciously but you’ll still die!”

That’s a fun loophole on the Avengers don’t kill thing, Tony.

‘I’m not killing you, I’m just creating a situation that will be fatal if I can’t stop it!’

Shockwave panics and turns off his armor’s power, upon which Iron Man headbutts him unconsciousness.

Iron Man: “And so, Iron Man wins after all!”

Fun that Iron Man was the one who was having the hardest time with his opponent but wins first.

Although, the other two don’t take much longer.

Despite Zaran the Weapon Master’s hundreds of weapons and despite Hawkeye being an archery expert, Hawkeye closes the distance and bonks Zaran with his bow.

I think he was doing it to prove a point? Since Zaran had talked about taking on Cap and Hawkeye has that thing where he’s always lowkey competing with Cap.

Anyway, Mockingbird is literally smacking Razorfist’s ass with her telescoping rod and interrogates him for why any of this is happening.

Razorfist: “We represent the Blood Tong of Hong Kong! They plan to open operations in America! Super heroes -- SHIELD -- the masses of your police -- none shall stem our inevitable victory!”

Since that’s what Mockingbird wanted to hear, she clobbers him unconscious.

As the only one of the three villains still conscious, Zaran darts away from Hawkeye, scoops up Shockwave, and escapes in a flying car.

What a character.

Not great that none of the three heroes present did much to stop him but eh. Lets blame this on Hawkeye.

Oh and while Mockingbird was distracted by flying car, Razorfist also snuck away. So lets blame Mockingbird too.

The only one who is blameless is Iron Man who is stuck inside a ton of almost useless power armor and has a reaction time of no.

Based on Razorfist’s threats that whatever a Blood Tong is is definitely coming, Iron Man and Hawkeye discuss how they should get the word out to the East Coast Avengers, the Fantastic Four, and Nick Fury.

Mockingbird insists that they do it through Proper Channels instead of just going back to Nick’s secret barbershop and telling him directly. He made it very clear that he doesn’t want help and dammit Mockingbird cares about his pride.

(Hawkeye doesn’t but this isn’t a hill he’s going to die on, the hill he eventually dies on is much stupider)

Anyway, Iron Man argues that costumed idiots is more a superhero concern than a thing for super spies. “Something for the ‘fancy folks'!”

All three heroes miss a flash card that Shockwave dropped mid-battle.

And sure, its evidently in code and only translated for the audience’s benefit.

But geez Shockwave, you’re one dumb, stupid idiot carrying that into battle with you! You can’t remember THREE names??

The real shocker is that SHIELD hired the three bozos to kill Mockingbird, Hawkeye, and Iron Man specifically. The Blood Tong thing was a cover story for if they were captured.

And since its specifically Mockingbird, Hawkeye, and Iron Man, I think we’re supposed to suspect that Nick Fury is behind this.

He’s acting jerkassier than usual and all.

Since I don’t think its relevant to the West Coast Avengers book, I’ll just reveal the gist of the SHIELD limited series.

Rogue LMDs have infiltrated SHIELD.

Is SHIELD ever not infiltrated?

Follow @essential-avengers for more hot takes like ‘is SHIELD ever not infiltrated?’ Like and reblog and unlock secret hot takes like ‘Iron Man sure can be enjoyable a character some of the times, in my opinion!’

#essential avengers #avengers #west coast avengers #Zaran the Weapons Master #Razorfist #Shockwave #not the transformer #Hawkeye #Mockingbird #SHIELD #Nick Fury #Iron Man #Wonder Man #Tigra #Hank Pym #because someone has to follow up on subplots #he's the only one doing real work today #essential marvel liveblogging

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lochtayboatsong · 4 years ago

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The Jesus Christ Superstar essay absolutely no one asked for.

Last weekend, I watched the pro-shot of the 2012 arena tour of Jesus Christ Superstar starring Ben Forster, Tim Minchin, and Melanie C, because it was Easter and it was up on YT for the weekend. I never managed to do my annual listen-through of Leonard Bernstein’s Mass this year, as is my usual Easter tradition, so I figured “Why not watch/listen to this instead?” It was my first time seeing and hearing JCS in full, and Y’ALL, it has been living rent-free in my brain ever since. I have a mighty need to get my thoughts out, so here they are, in chronological order by song.

1) Prologue: I love the way JCS 2012 makes use of the arena video screen. The production design and concept clearly took a lot of inspiration from the “Occupy ______” movement, which makes it feel a bit dated now. But every single production of JCS is a product of its time period, so this is a feature and not a bug.

2) Heaven On Their Minds: This is a straight-up rock song. It wouldn’t be out of place on any rock and roll album released between 1970 and 2021, and it boggles my mind that Webber and Rice were both in their early twenties when they wrote it. Also, the lyric “You’ve begun to matter more than the things you say” hits hard no matter the year.

3) What’s the Buzz: A+ use of the arena screens again, this time bringing in social media to set the tone. Also, this song establishes right from the outset that Jesus is burnt out and T I R E D by this point in the story. Seriously, can we just let this man have a nap?

4) Strange Thing Mystifying: Judas publicly calls out Mary and Jesus claps back. Folx, get you a partner who will defend your honor the way Jesus defends MM in this scene. Also Jesus loses his shoes and is mostly barefoot for the remainder of the show.

5) Everything’s Alright: Okay, this is one of the songs I have A LOT to say about. First, it’s important to know that I was a church musician throughout all of my adolescence and into my early adulthood. The pianist at the services I usually played at was a top-notch jazz pianist, and also my piano teacher for about six years while I as in high school and undergrad. (Incidentally, I had a HUGE crush on his son, who was/is a jazz saxophonist and clarinetist and also played in the church band, but that’s a story for another day.) One of the hymns we played a few times a year was called “Sing of the Lord’s Goodness,” which is notable for being in 5/4 time. Whenever this hymn was on the schedule, it was usually the recessional, or the last song played as the clergy processed out and the congregation got ready to leave, so we were able to have some fun with it. After a couple verses the piano player and his son would usually morph it into “Take Five,” a famous jazz standard by Dave Brubeck which is also in 5/4 time. Anyway, the first time I listened to this song in full, it got to Judas’s line “People who are hungry, people who are starving,” and I sat bolt upright and went “HOLY SHIT THIS IS ‘SING OF THE LORD’S GOODNESS/TAKE FIVE.’” And I was ricocheted back in time to being fourteen and trying to keep up with this father/son duo in a cavernous Catholic church while simultaneously making heart-eyes at the son. Final note: This is the only song in the musical to feature all three leads (Jesus, Judas, and Mary Magdalene) and is mostly Jesus and MM being soft with each other in between bouts of Jesus and Judas snarling at one another.

6) This Jesus Must Die: I LOVE that all the villains in this production are in tailored suits. LOVE IT. Also, Caiaphas and Annas are a comedy duo akin to “the thin guy and the fat guy,” except in this case it’s “the low basso profundo and the high tenor.” Excellent use of the arena video screen again, this time as CCTV.

7) Hosanna: My background as a church musician strikes back again. It honestly took me two or three listens to catch it, but then I had another moment of sitting bolt upright and going “HOLY SHIT THIS IS A PSALM.” Psalms sung in church usually take the form of call-and-response, with a cantor singing the verses and the congregation joining in for the chorus. If I close my eyes during this song, I have no trouble imagining Jesus as a church cantor singing the verses and then bringing the congregation in for the “Ho-sanna, Hey-sanna” chorus.

8) Simon Zealotes: This is part “Gloria In Excelsis” and part over-the-top Gospel song. Honestly it’s not my favorite, but it marks an important mood change in the show. The end of “Hosanna” is probably Jesus at his happiest in the entire show, and then Simon comes in and sours the mood by trying to tip the triumphant moment into a violent one. Jesus is not truly happy again from this moment on.

9) Poor Jerusalem: Also not my fave. It kinda reads like Webber and Rice realized that Jesus didn’t have a solo aria in Act I, so they came up with this. But it has the distinction of containing the lyric, “To conquer death you only have to die,” which is the biggest overarching theme of the story.

10) Pilate’s Dream: Pontius Pilate might be the most underrated role in this entire show, and I love that this production has him singing this song while being dressed in judge’s robes.

11) The Temple: The first half of this is one of the campiest numbers in Act I, at least in this production, and it’s awesome. The second half is one of the saddest, as Jesus tries to heal the sick but finds there are too many of them. Also the whole scene is almost entirely in 7/8 time, which I think is just cool.

12) I Don’t Know How To Love Him: Mary Magdalene’s big aria, and one of the songs I knew prior to seeing the full-length show. This production has MM taking off her heavy lipstick and eye makeup onstage, mid-song, which is kind of cool. Melanie C says in a BTS interview that MM’s makeup is her armor, so this is a Big Symbolic Moment.

13) Damned For All Time: The scene transition into this song is played entirely in pantomime, and I love it. The solo guitarist gets to be onstage for a bit, A+ use of the video screen again to show Judas on CCTV, etc. Love it. And then this song is Judas frantically rationalizing what he’s doing, and what he’s about to do, with Caiphas and Annas just reacting with raised eyebrows and knowing looks.

14) Blood Money: This is where the tone of the show really takes a turn for the dark. I think this might be one of Tim Minchin’s finest moments as Judas, because his facial expressions and microexpressions throughout this scene speak absolute volumes. And the offstage chorus quietly singing “Well done Judas” as he picks up the money is a positively chilling way to end Act I.

15) The Last Supper: Act II begins with major “Drink With Me” vibes. (Except JCS came WAY before Les Miz, so it’s probably more accurate to say that “Drink With Me” has major “The Last Supper” vibes.) Jesus and Judas have their knock-down, drag-out fight, and it’s honestly heartbreaking, thanks again to Tim Minchin’s facial expressions. A well-done production of JCS will really convey that Jesus and Judas were once closer than brothers, even though their relationship is at breaking point when Act I begins.

16) Gethsemane: This is Jesus’s major showpiece and one of my faves. Jesus knows he has less than 24 hours to live, he knows he’s going to suffer, and worst of all, he doesn’t know whether it’s going to be worth it. It’s an emotional rollercoaster to watch and to perform, and it goes on for ages: something like 6 or 7 minutes. Fun fact: the famous G5 is not written in the score. Ian Gillan, who played Jesus on the original concept album, just sang it that way, so most subsequent Jesuses have also done it that way. Lindsay Ellis has a great supercut of this on YT. John Legend notably sang the line as written during the 2018 concert.

17) The Arrest: Judas’s Betrayer’s Kiss is played differently across different productions. The 2012 version is pretty tame - I’ve seen clips and gifs of other productions, including the 2000 direct-to-video version, where they kiss fully on the mouth and have to be dragged apart by the guards and it is THE MOST TENDER THING. Then the 7/8 riff from “The Temple” comes back and the 2012 version lets the video screen do its thing again as Jesus is swarmed by reporters.

18) Peter’s Denial: Not much to say about this one, as it’s basically a scene transition. But it’s a significant moment in the Passion story, so I’m glad they included it.

19) Pilate and Christ: The 2012 production continues with the theme of Caiaphas, Annas, and Pilate all being bougie af, since Pilate intentionally looks like he just came from tennis practice during this scene. Also he does pilates...hehehe.

20) King Herod’s Song: Tim Minchin says in a BTS interview that JCS works best when Jesus and Judas are played seriously and the rest of the production is allowed to be completely camp and wild and bizarre all around them, and he is bloody well CORRECT about that. Case in point: King Herod. There is not a single production of JCS that I know of where Herod is played “straight.” He’s been played by everyone from Alice Cooper to Jack Black, and everyone puts a different zany spin on him. In JCS 2012 he’s a chat show host in a red crushed velvet suit, who is clearly having the time of his LIFE.

21) Could We Start Again Please: This is another of my faves. Just a quiet moment where MM, Peter, and the disciples try to grapple with the fact that Jesus is arrested and things are going very, very badly. This is also my favorite Melanie C moment of the 2012 show. Her grief is very real, and the little moment she has with Peter at the end is very real.

22) Death of Judas: This is basically Tim Minchin screaming for about five minutes, and incredibly harrowing to watch on first viewing.

23) Trial Before Pilate: Possibly my single favorite scene in the entire 2012 production. This is another harrowing watch, but there’s so much to take in. The “set” that the entire show takes place on is essentially just a massive staircase, and the people with power are almost always positioned above the people without power. In this scene, the crowd shouting “Crucify Him!” is positioned above Pilate, which is a very telling clue to Pilate’s psychology during this scene. Jesus is at the very bottom of the stairs, of course. Excellent use of the video screen once again during the 39 Lashes, to show the lash marks building and building until the entire screen is a wash of red. Pilate’s counting also gets more and more frantic, especially starting around “20.” And all the while the guitar riff from “Heaven On Their Minds” is playing. Jesus’s line “Everything is fixed and you can’t change it” is played quite differently in different productions - here it’s defiant, but elsewhere (in JCS 2000 for example) it’s almost tender, like Jesus is absolving Pilate for his part in the trial. But it always ends the same - with Pilate almost screaming as he passes the sentence and “washes his hands” of the whole sorry business.

24) Superstar: The most over-the-top number in the show. Judas, who died two scenes ago, comes back to sing this. There are soul singers. There are girls in skimpy angel costumes. The parkour guys from the prologue are back. Judas pulls a tambourine out of hammerspace midway through the song. And Jesus is silently screaming and crying as he gets hoisted onto a lighting beam while all this is going on.

25) The Crucifixion: More of a spoken-word piece than a song, it’s Jesus’s final words on the cross over eerie piano music, and another harrowing watch.

26) John 19:41: An instrumental piece in which Jesus is taken from the cross and carried, at last, to the top of the stairs, before being lowered out of sight as the video screen turns into a memorial wall and everything fades to black.

So. I know I’m anywhere from three to fifty-one years late to this particular party, but I am on the JCS bandwagon now and I’m thoroughly enjoying myself. :)

#jesus christ superstar #jcs 2012 #jcs is all i have been thinking about all week sorry not sorry #ben forster #tim minchin #melanie c #andrew lloyd webber #tim rice

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