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yournotsolocalcryptid · 2 years ago

Text

One

5/?

PREV (Room for Two) / NEXT

tags: @transeliot @mentallyunstablebish @sarah0687 @cjand10 @warmommy if you would like to be added or removed from my writing tag just lemme know :)

summary: Billy busts his stitches as you find an intruder in your home

pairing(s): Billy/Four x gn!reader

word count: 1.7k

Warnings: emotions, repressed feelings, angst, fluff, mention of hospitals, blood and injury, negative and complex emotions. poor writing skills, poor proofreading and editing, an american writing a brit. i think thats it? I know its been too long since the last part but here ya go

“Hi!” the man said with a wave and a quick smile.

“Who the fuck are you?”

“I’m One”

“Okay…One… get out”

“ can’t Sorry”

“You Can't?” your voice was getting louder “why not? Why are you here?” your tone was steady and determined, not at all mimicking the panic you were feeling on the inside “GET. OUT.”

“Look, I just need to speak to the boy”

“Why”

The man paused, watching you for a moment, calculating a response “He broke a promise”

“Join the club”

The corners of his mouth twitched upwards at your quick rebuttal he composed himself and leaned forward so his elbow rested on his knees “look, normally i wouldn't let anyone sit in on the discussion we’re gonna have but ill make an exception for you. This is going against my better judgment and breaks so many rules but you may stay.”

“I MAY STAY?!” you nearly bellowed

One winced, deeply regretting his phrasing but responded by shifting his eyeline behind you and letting out a loud “FOUR!”

You heard a thump and your bedroom door swinging open and Billy appeared panicked, if your voice hadn't woken him, Ones sure as hell did.

“So nice of you to join us” one said with a petty smile as he leaned back again and pulled a gun from inside his jacket which he rested calmly on the cushion beside him.

“Shit”

“Yeah, shit is right my friend. Did you think i wouldn't find you? Did you really think id just let you go?”

“Billy w-what's going on?” your eyes shifted from one to billy. Billys face was sad, panicky and apologetic as he met your gaze.

“Wait- you haven't even told them yet?” one was shocked then after a moment he started laughing. You looked back at the strange man who collected himself enough to say “well… are ya gonna? Cuz nows your chance big guy.”

Your gaze flipped back to your former… whatever he was to you “what's he talking about?” you paused hoping he’d respond, his mouth dropped open but he uttered no words, his eyes big and regretful. You turned your body and faced him fully “Billy?” you grabbed one of his hands as you attempted to get him to finally tell you the truth but you stopped as you felt how clammy his hand felt. You glanced down and let it drop from your hands, you looked up again and saw his face had paled “Billy?” you asked, scared and concerned, one of your hands went to softly cup his cheek. Your eyes shifted from his face and slowly down his body until you saw his other hand pressed to his abdomen with red seeping into his shirt around his hand. “Shit” you breathed as you gingerly moved his hand

“shit“ he agreed

“Okay…” your mind was racing “your stitches probably bust. we should-”

“No more hospitals”

“But-”

“I agree no more hospitals” the man piped up

You whirled around, your hands not leaving Billys body, and snapped “you shut up” you faced billy again, “babe this could be really bad, we should-” He shook his head, his hand cupped your cheek “no hospital” he pleads “I know its been a long time but I'm sure you remember enough from patching us up back in the day to fix me”

You stared into his eyes for a moment before, captivated by the trust radiating from him. You nodded and you lead him to the bathroom. He sat on the closed toilet seat and you grabbed your first aid kit, hoping there'd be enough of what you’d need and convincing yourself it's not as bad as your gut was telling you it is.

You turned to find billy smiling to himself “what?” you asked

“You called me ‘babe’”

You knelt in front of him “and? What of it?”

“You haven't called me that in a long time is all” his hand was clutching his still bleeding abdomen as the splotch on his shirt continued to expand.

“And whose fault is that?” you asked as you tapped his hand, signally him to uncover his wound. He did without hesitation and your hands reached for the hem of his shirt, your mind flashing back to the hundreds of times you'd been in similar situations as kids, as teens, as young adults, as friends, as lovers. You’d patched him up a ton over the years because of his insistence on being a “physical badass” as he put it. Billy has been nearly obsessed with mastering parkour since he was a kid and you always supported him even tho the number of times he got- sometimes seriously- hurt was hard for you to see. But you learned to patch him up and he taught you some cool stuff too. You were by no means good at parkour but you had gotten pretty agile and gained some decent skills.

It's been a while, obviously, and this was different. This wasn't a scrape or a skinned knee or even a dislocated joint, this was a deep open wound that had just been reopened. You were nervous, your hands shook as you grabbed the hem of his shirt and lifted it over his head. You dropped the shirt to the floor and billy grabbed your trembling hand.

“Hey, It’s okay. You’ve got this, love” you couldn't look at him, your eyes focused on the first aid kit next to his discarded shirt. “I trust you. I know I fucked up and I know you need time and answers. I will tell you everything in time. I promise. But I need time too. I don't even know where to start with it all” you still couldn't look up at him. His big green eyes always gave him away, always expressed exactly what he was thinking and feeling and always made you melt a little. You didn't know what he’d been through but you deserved answers, sooner rather than later.

“I trust you” he whispered again

“Well isn't that sweet”

Billys eyes shifted to the door where this ‘one’ now leaned against the frame while yours slid shut in an attempt to collect yourself. You stood and with a muttered “fuck off” you gave one a shove and closed the door in his face. You returned to your spot in front of billy, took a deep breath and started attending to his ripped stitches. You’d stitched him up once before after a misstep that resulted in a gash on his leg. He had insisted on no hospitals then as well and so you’d researched the basics of giving stitches and purchased the supplies most of which were still in your first aid kit.

You could feel billys eyes on you as you worked but you needed to ignore him and focus on having steady hands and make sure everything was as sanitary as possible given this was being done in your bathroom. Billys breathing was heavy and he was hissing and swearing under his breath every so often. You knew he had to be in a lot of pain, once or twice you winced with him, but you had to keep going. There was no stopping now, the second you’d started it was too late for either of you to change your minds.

When you were finally done sewing him up, you finally glanced up at him and found him again looking at you with soft emotional eyes. You looked away, grabbed the gauze, covered the wound and said as you collected the items you’d strewn across the floor “we’ll need to change the gauze and reapply the disinfectant every few hours. You will not make any sudden movements or do anything to rip them again, yeah?” you stood and when you heard his soft “yeah” in response you headed to the kitchen sink to wash the blood from your hands.

“You guys are just so darn cute”

You gritted your teeth, rinsed the red-tinted soap down the drain and dried your hands. You turned to face the peculiar and irritating man “what promise?”

He looked taken aback, you weren't sure if it was your question or demeanor or something else entirely but it was written all over his features when he didn't answer you restated your question

“What was the promise he broke?”

“To you or to me?”

“You”

One sighed and gestured to the chair across from where he was seated on your couch. You obliged and sat. he leaned forward, elbows on his knees again “since it seems he will not be filling you in any time soon I suppose I will.”

Your brow furrowed, knitting closer and closer together, and your mind raced as he spoke. You of course wanted to know about billy and his part in all this but one question stayed at the forefront of your mind as one rambled on. Why was he telling you all this?

When you asked you expected a short snarky answer maybe real maybe not but here he was telling you in detail about his operation and about everything they’d done. He went through each member and listed their skills and what they’d agreed to when joining him. He even went through how everyone's death was faked. By keeping tabs on you and by risking everything to feel near you and hopefully re-enter your life he’d broken every rule he agreed to when joining them and how he’d missed something because he was distracted by you and he landed himself in the hospital.

There was a pause after he’d finished then,

“Your turn”

You didn't move to look at him having expected this was transactional, but you still couldn't figure out why he’d told you so much. you said simply “he left, he lied, he hurt me”

You felt One’s eyes burning a hole in your head after a moment he said in a surprisingly soft and genuine tone “that seems like an oversimplification of a lot of history and a lot of promises” and he wasn't wrong

You murmured a soft “yeah” and stood. You turned, unsurprised to find Billy standing somewhere between the bathroom and where you and One were sitting, his eyes big and round and sad. His body language radiated shame from where he stood. “Ill give you two some time to talk” and with that, you went into your bedroom and closed the door.

Even though you'd only been awake for a few hours you were so emotionally wrung out from the past few days that as you laid down you knew you’d fall asleep, and you were so ready for it. And you did.

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laurfilijames · 3 months ago

Text

Breathe

Part 6

Pairing: Will 'Ironhead' Miller x female reader

Words: 5.4K

Warnings: Rated E, 18+. Swearing. Unprotected intercourse. Oral sex (female receiving). ANGST. Oh the angst. Mentions of war and deployment.

Summary: Will starts to distance himself from you to the point of being unable to mend things and tension rises between the Miller brothers over his actions.

A/N: No notes. Just tears. GIF by the amazing and generous @mrs-hardy-hunnam-butler and beautiful banners by the loveliest and most supportive @spaghettificationandpretzels who also was my sounding board for my ideas and maniacal mood swings while writing this 💗💗

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

---

“What if I hurt her, Ben?”

“You won't.”

“If she was in that bed with me last night-”

“You won't.” Benny insisted, cutting Will off before he could continue, sending his older brother a concerned, but stern glance as he turned around after filling his mug with coffee.

Will sighed and looked down at his feet, clenching his teeth together as the same thoughts that hadn't left him since last night continued to occupy his mind.

“It was so real, man…”

“I can imagine!” Benny sympathized, his eyebrows raising on his forehead, silently assessing his brother who he'd only seen that distraught once or twice before. “But you're not going to hurt her. That,” he emphasized, referring to Will’s nightmare, “isn't going to happen.”

Will puffed out his cheeks as he exhaled again, looking out the kitchen window where the early morning sun was casting a yellow glow over the room, hoping Benny was right, but not feeling convinced.

“Are you seeing her today?”

Will pursed his lips and nodded, looking over at Benny who stared at him over the rim of his mug as he took a long sip, waiting for a proper response.

“Yeah, I'm going to her place tonight.”

Benny shook his head up and down as he swallowed his coffee, appearing pleased with that answer.

“Good, that's good. We’ll have a hard session at the gym and hopefully that'll help you sleep better, too.”

“Yeah, you're right. Thanks, man,” Will smiled, feeling slightly guilty that he knew he wasn't going to sleep or feel better about this anytime soon, watching Benny light up and start excitedly going on about their training after Will’s convincing lie.

After refilling his cup of coffee, Will pulled a chair out from the kitchen table and sat, staring blankly at the black beverage steaming in his mug, tuning out whatever else Benny was saying, the exhaustion he felt from not sleeping the rest of the night and the pure panic that hadn’t truly left his veins making his whole body feel like lead in the wooden seat.

He wondered exactly how he would even manage to get through a workout, but knew with his tour coming up he’d have to keep training, and as he was always used to doing, he would push through even the toughest days.

Will picked his phone up off the table, checking it again to see if you had text, wondering if he should send one now, or wait until a bit later, or if he should just call you and risk you hearing that something wasn’t right in the tone of his voice.

He tossed it carelessly, sighing as he picked up his mug and took a drink from it, setting it down and then grabbing his phone again, spinning it in his hand indecisively.

Will roughly rubbed his hands over his eyes after he parked his truck in your driveway, exhaling deeply before finding the strength to get out and walk to the door, his workout draining him even more than he already had been. It temporarily gave him hope that being that tired would result in him actually sleeping, but the feeling in his stomach reminded him how anxious he still felt about his nightmare and that it was something his mind wasn’t going to simply let him forget.

For a moment it was all whisked away, seeing your face as you opened the door before he even had the opportunity to knock, your smile immediately making one appear on his own lips.

“Hey!” you greeted enthusiastically, your presence bringing him some calm as soon as you wrapped your arms around his torso and hugged him.

Will placed his lips against your head, inhaling your scent and pressing a light kiss as he squeezed you back, the relief to have you in his arms mixing with the now persistent fear that he was capable of hurting you.

“How was your day?” you asked, peeling away from him slightly to look at him.

“Good,” he lied, nodding and hoping he didn’t look half as weary as he felt. “What about you?”

“It was good,” you smiled. “Better now.”

Will chuckled and followed you inside, kicking his boots off before following you further in and through to the living room.

“Are you hungry?”

“Hmm, no, I’m good, thanks.” Will declined, seeing a quizzical expression draw over your features.

“Okay…are you not staying the night?” you asked, finally noticing he came with just himself, no bag with a change of clothes or toothbrush.

“Uh, no…” he confirmed through a sigh, feeling guilty about it already. “I gotta be up early, something for work. It’s looking like I’m going to start getting back into things soon,” he lied, omitting the fact that he was already cleared and scheduled for duty in a matter of weeks.

You smiled despite feeling a slight sense of disappointment. “Well, I’m glad I get you for a little bit at least. How are you feeling about going back?”

Will shrugged. “It’ll be good to have a purpose again, maybe it’ll make things feel normal…get me back to being who I was before I was the guy who choked someone out in the cereal aisle.”

His heart ached at how you were looking at him as he spoke, your expression so genuine and clearly caring about him and how he felt, making that sourness in his stomach amplify from his dishonesty.

“Yeah, I think so, too,” you spoke softly, your eyes bright as the smile on your lips met them. “I’m really happy for you, Will. This is great news.”

You reached for his hands which he let you take hold of, pulling him in for a sweet, slow kiss that grew deeper and harder with each second, a sense of relief flooding Will over the fact that he didn’t have to explain more or evade the truth.

He focused on your kiss, breathing you in as your hands began to roam each other’s bodies and clumsily tore at clothing, stumbling toward your bedroom where he hoped that for as long as he was inside you, he would forget about everything.

It was all a mix of slow and fast, Will constantly reminding himself to relax and breathe, all of his emotions toiling within him uncontrollably.

As eager as he felt to have all of you as much as he could, Will wanted to take his time, soaking up each moment with you while he had the chance, every touch and kiss one that he tried to imprint in his memory.

Will sat on the bed, looking up at you as you stood close to him between his legs, his hands gently running up the backs of your thighs to your bum.

You sighed out slowly and closed your eyes, feeling his fingers find the edge of your panties and start to tug them down your hips, his lips landing on your bare stomach where he kissed you over and over.

He breathed in, keeping his nose and lips pressed against you, able to smell your arousal as he slipped your thong down to your knees before letting go where they fell the rest of the way to the floor.

Dragging his face along the crest of your hip bones and further down to your groin, Will moaned, his fingers indenting your flesh instinctively, feeling himself relax when your hands smoothed over his tense shoulders and back, your touch everything he needed right now.

He pulled you onto the bed with him as he laid down, both of you resting on your sides where your leg fell over his, his arms embracing you while your foreheads touched, his hand cupping your cheek to keep you close to him.

“Are you okay?” you whispered, sensing something from him you couldn’t quite put your finger on.

“Hmm, yeah,” he responded, moving his head so your noses rubbed together.

You gave a quick kiss to his lips, testing the waters, only to have him pull your face hard into his, his tongue delving into your mouth desperately, his claim over you clear as he released his hand from your face and grabbed under your bum, pulling your core against him where he ground his hips into yours.

With what little space there was between your bodies, you reached down and found his cock straining through the thin cotton of his boxers, grabbing it and tugging it free before angling it down to the apex of your thighs where it nestled perfectly between your folds and began to grind on him.

“God, you feel so good, sweetheart,” he groaned, hardly able to believe it felt that incredible without even being inside you yet.

You squirmed against him, moving along his length as you breathed out slowly and closed your eyes, your mouth teasing his before slotting your lips together again. His beard was soft on your skin, but you knew with how eager you were to keep kissing him that your face would feel raw by the time you were sated, the taste of him too good to stop.

Moments passed with you just like this, kissing and teasing, indulging in the soft and slow that you seldom did, usually unable to stop yourselves from choosing a rough and fast pace.

A long whine came from you as his tip breached your entrance, pushing through and settling no more than an inch inside, the tease of it almost equally as satisfying as if he was buried completely in you.

His hands grabbed at your ass, pulling your cheeks apart, the stretch feeling so good you automatically brought your hips closer to his body, making his cock go deeper while you increased the fervor of your kiss.

Will groaned into your mouth as he shifted his body, moving at lay on top of you where his weight pressed you comfortably into the mattress, lifting his hips so his cock slid out before slowing forcing it back in again.

His fingers raked over the sides of your head, holding you securely and angling your face up to his, his tongue exploring your mouth wildly as his thrusts grew into a deep, purposeful rhythm.

The thought of never being able to do this with you again crossed his mind, wondering what the outcome of telling you he was leaving would be and if he would even make it back alive, dreading what he knew he would have to face sooner rather than later.

Trying to ignore that panic, he relished in the way your hands smoothed over his back, your touch so soft yet so meaningful it helped make everything more profound, and he vowed to put everything he had into making love to you.

There had been so many times already he had wanted to say it, to tell you he loved you, because fuck did he ever, but now he knew he couldn’t, wanting to protect you from him even more and what he feared he was capable of.

Each rolling thrust was met perfectly by you, your hips purling into his to take him deep, allowing him to drag out slowly before pressing back in, the rhythm addicting and working to send you both over the edge.

Your bed moved against the wall as he put more power behind his pace, moaning and breathing into your mouth desperately as he lost himself completely in you, feeling your hand search for his where you laced your fingers together and held onto it tightly, his grip squeezing as he brought your linked hands up beside your head.

Will knew you were on the brink, able to read your body on instinct and almost better than his own, feeling your breathing change and the pitch of your whines switch, your free hand leaving marks on his back as your movements became erratic.

He felt you tense, every muscle in your body that was wrapped around his straining through your pleasure, your walls choking his cock as a surge of wet lubricated his strokes.

Will kissed you harder, absorbing your cries until your body relaxed under him, but he'd only allow you a short moment of reprieve.

He crawled down your body, a whiny moan sounding from you when he pulled out of you, your hands clawing for him to stay, but when his mouth landed on your soaked cunt your protest stopped, your hips bucking off the bed against his face as he worked to make you come again quickly.

“Are you sure you can't stay?” you whispered, tracing your fingers all over his sweaty face in a way that made him never want to move.

He sighed, closing his eyes and praying for the courage to give the answer he knew he needed to.

“I'm sure. I'm sorry.”

You looked crestfallen despite your best efforts not to, the side of your mouth turning upward as you nodded your head in understanding.

Will kissed your palm that rested beside his mouth, wanting more than anything to stay in bed with you, not even caring if he ever slept or not, but his nightmare kept nagging him and reminding him exactly why he couldn't.

“I'll call you tomorrow,” he explained, stepping out of bed and finding his boxers, leaving you in the mess of sheets to watch as he dressed.

It was so late already, making you question even more why he wouldn't just stay the rest of the night, feeling a sense of unease and confusion, and hoping you weren't reading into things too much.

“Get some sleep,” you wished, sitting up to meet him in a kiss when he came back over and leaned down, your hand slipping behind his neck where you felt him groan to your touch.

“Yeah, I will. You too,” he said quietly, knowing damn well he wouldn't. “I'll lock the door behind me.”

Both of you hesitated a moment, your eyes searching each other’s, your silence screaming the words neither of you dared to.

With a weak smile, Will turned and walked out, and everything in you felt so anxious that something between you was changing, and you couldn't determine if it was for better or worse.

The rest of the week played out the same; Will coming over to your place each evening to have dinner and spend time with you, only to make himself scarce as soon as turning in for the night was being considered.

He caught you staring a few times, watching him finish the dishes or studying his expression as you watched tv together, trying to work out what was going on in his head.

He did everything he could to act as normal as possible, but could feel himself slowly pulling away, distancing himself like he was gradually building up to the inevitable.

All of that seemed to fade the moment his body made contact with yours.

His hands would grip you tighter, each kiss more intense and passionate than the last, the time spent with his arms wrapped around you in a hug growing longer with each one, savouring your presence and everything good that you gave him.

He almost wished you would just ask, call out what you seemed to know he was doing, his guilt growing the same his love for you was, but the pain he felt in his heart at knowing he was hurting you, and was going to hurt you even more, was outshining both easily.

Six hours and forty-seven minutes. That was the total amount of sleep he'd had in the last three days, finding himself growing more irritable and angry on top of being exhausted.

He sighed when he came in the door, noticing the tv on and blaring, Benny still awake and watching a fight.

The last thing he wanted was an interrogation from his brother, and he prayed as he slipped out of his boots and put his keys in their spot that one wouldn't come tonight.

Out of the corner of his eye he could see Benny’s head whip around, and as he walked into the kitchen, he waited for the comments to come.

“Do you keep fucking and bailing? Because it really seems like you keep fucking and bailing.”

Will took a deep breath and ignored him.

“Nice,” Benny added, sarcastically.

Will opened the fridge to get a glass of water, glaring at him over the door with warning, which only encouraged Benny more.

He always had a habit of testing Will, seeing how far he could push him until he snapped, and while Will wasn't sure if that was what he was doing now, it was definitely getting on his nerves.

“Getting your fill and then leaving her hanging. You must really love her,” he drawled, staring at the tv as Will walked into the room.

“Fuck off, Ben. You know why I'm not sleeping there,” Will huffed, plopping himself on the chair opposite the couch.

“I told you it isn't going to happen for real. It was a dream, man. I know you-”

“You don't know shit!” Will barked, cutting him off.

He stood and stormed to his room, hating how his brother could be so good and understanding one minute and then go totally against him the next, but mostly hating how he knew he was right.

Coffee was barely enough to keep him functioning at this point, and after another sleepless night, Will wondered just how much more of this he could take, especially with his deployment date looming and getting closer and closer.

He counted the tablespoons of grounds he scooped out of the container and into the coffee maker, hoping a stronger brew would help him drag his feet less but worried it would only do the job of amping up his anxiety.

For the brief moments he had slept, that same nightmare kept recurring, seeing your lifeless face in his hands until he jolted awake, gasping for breath and covered in sweat.

He knew should tell you about the nightmare and that he was leaving, but his selfishness was getting the better of him, feeling as if the moment he said it out loud that his whole world would actually fall out from under him, and the thought terrified him.

Benny came into the kitchen, his arms stretched above his head with a long exaggerated yawn, and even though Will told himself he wasn't trying to, it was like he was rubbing it in his face that he’d slept so well.

As Will went to grab a mug from the cupboard, Benny brushed by him, reaching around his brother to get his own, nudging Will in the process.

Will sighed, but ignored his irritation, opening the next cupboard over to put the coffee away where Benny stuck his hand in to get the sugar.

“Don’t fucking start,” Will warned under his breath.

“I didn’t say anything.”

Benny gave him a look, smoothing his hair back and out of his face as he grabbed the bag of bread and took out a couple of slices.

“No, but I know what you’re doing.”

Benny didn’t respond, and Will knew he was carefully choosing what he would say when he did speak next, seeing a tension in his back as he went about his business.

“You’re gonna have to tell her at some point, Will,” he said quietly, not looking at him.

Will swallowed thickly, feeling every muscle in his body tense up while choosing to bite his tongue.

Benny shoved him with his shoulder as he sidled up next to him, grabbing the pot of coffee before Will was able to.

“Can you stop?” Will barked, holding his empty mug up in disbelief.

Benny glared at Will as he put the pot back down, almost as if he was daring Will to make a move.

“Fuck you.”

“Really?”

“You’re acting like a dick and you know it,” Benny accused, not moving from where he stood.

Will took a step back, hanging his head. “I don’t need this shit right now.”

“No?” Benny asked excitedly. “Stop being such an ungrateful piece of shit. You treat everyone like shit, like you’re owed everything because you’re hurt.”

Will shook his head, feeling anger rise up through him, but Benny just kept going.

“You landed yourself the best girl and look what you’re doing with that. You don’t think she deserves to know you’re fucking leaving in eight days?”

Benny’s voice continued to rise as he went on, making Will’s teeth clench harder and his grip on the countertop get tighter as he leaned forward against it.

“Now you’re just pissed off because you know you’re fucking everything up. How the hell are you gonna go over there and focus when you’re turning into a complete fucking mess here?”

Will stayed quiet, hanging his head and unable to look his brother in the eye, knowing everything he was saying was true.

Benny watched him for a minute, waiting, and gave his final say before walking out of the kitchen.

“Get your shit together, man. Or something bad might really happen.”

More and more days passed between seeing each other, and by now Will imagined you had gotten the hint, having stopped initiating conversations due to how cold and short he was being with you, knowing you were doing your best to give him space in hopes that would fix everything.

Texts were rare and visits were brief, and Will could see and feel the worry radiating off of you when he was with you, your uncertainty if you were the problem blatant.

Two days remained until he deployed, and with his bag packed and everything else in order, he reached for his phone.

Can we talk?

You gave him a smile when you opened the door to let him in, but the rest of your face said it all, your eyes bleary and barely able to hold contact with his, your body language nervous as you rubbed your arm up and down even though it was brutally hot and humid.

“Can I get you anything?” you offered, the question feeling too formal but suiting the atmosphere, neither of you reaching for the other for a hug and kiss like you used to.

“No, I’m okay, thanks.”

“I’m guessing this isn’t going to be a fun conversation, so I’d like you to spare me even more grief then you’ve already caused, Will.”

Your words came out quickly, like if you didn’t rush to say them you wouldn’t get them out, and your voice shook, making Will’s heart break even more than it was.

He sighed and nodded, raising his eyebrows on his forehead.

“I think we should stop before we get too far ahead of ourselves here.”

“What does that mean?” you scoffed, your frustration and confusion clear as day.

“What do you think it means?” he said pointedly, crossing his arms over his chest as he stared at you bluntly.

You nodded your head as you looked up at the ceiling, blinking quickly to fight off the tears he knew you were struggling to keep back.

“I thought this was what you wanted,” you explained. “Why didn’t you say if it was too much or too fast?”

“I’m sorry,” he said flatly, looking at your face contort with even more hurt and confusion.

“You’re sorry?” you blurted. “You’ve spent the last however many weeks stringing me along and acting like everything was fine until all of a sudden it wasn’t and then you fucking ghost me? And all you have to say is you’re sorry?”

“Why is that so hard to understand?” he spat, the chill of his words surprising himself.

He watched your expression shift, your anger switching to a gut-wrenching hurt he knew too well, your pain washing over you in a rippling effect after his words slapped you across the face.

“Because I’m falling in love with you!”

He felt like he’d been punched in the stomach, knowing all along that you were but hearing it hit him so much harder, and in the act of self-preservation, he continued his facade of not loving you in return.

“Yeah? Well stop, because you’re only gonna end up hurt.”

“Wha-” you started, but he cut you off before you were able to start asking questions.

“I’m deploying in two days.”

Your mouth opened and closed, and he knew the feeling of not being able to properly take the breath you so desperately needed, the shock on your face forcing Will to look away and down at his boots, too cowardly to face what he caused.

“I can’t go do this mission with any distractions,” he explained, his tone flat and expressionless.

“Is that all I am to you? Do you not think I care or wouldn’t offer support…I can't just put how I feel about you on hold or dismiss it completely, Will. Us breaking this off isn't going to make a difference in me worrying about you or erase what we have.”

Will shrugged, not knowing what else to say and feeling like he was out of lies to spew, and at this point nothing he said would make any of it better or worse.

You shook your head quickly and grunted frustratedly, wiping the tears that finally fell off your cheeks.

"I don't know why I'm crying,” you laughed, looking at him defeatedly. “You're not mine to cry over."

Will couldn’t bring himself to look at you again as he made his way over to the door, knowing damn well that he was yours as much as you were his, his entire heart left behind with you as he walked out.

After crying more tears than you thought you ever had, you peeled yourself out of bed and dragged your sorry ass to the gym, needing to distract your mind and do something good for your body, even if it meant risking seeing one or both of the Miller brothers there.

Your reflection was like a stranger, a hollowed-out version of yourself with puffy, blood-shot eyes lifting the dumbbells in your hands up and down as you worked through a set of bicep curls.

You were barely able to count through your reps, thinking how ironic it was that that was how you and Will met in the first place, but you knew the exact amount of hours it had been since he came and broke things off with you, and how long it was until he’d be on a plane flying out to wherever hell he was going.

You did a double-take in the mirror when you saw Benny come out of the change room, spinning around to see him better, the large black and blue bruise swelling around his left eye making your mouth hang open. A cut on his lower lip looked like it was still bleeding, and you thought it all to be strange when you recalled Will telling you he didn’t have any more fights until the fall.

The sympathetic smile he gave you was a reminder of all the things you knew you would be missing out on, but you shoved those feelings aside and walked over to him, your curiosity getting the better of you.

“What the hell happened to you? I thought you weren’t fighting for a while?”

Benny huffed out a laugh, rolling his eyes. “You should see the other guy…”

That drew your attention to his hands, seeing the skin on his knuckles broken and red, knowing whoever was on the receiving end of it was likely in far worse shape than him.

Before anything else could be explained, you followed Benny’s gaze as he looked up, your heart stuck in your throat as you watched Will walk in the front door, his face even more beat up than Benny’s was.

You looked at Benny where he just shrugged, knowing you had put two and two together.

“He deserved it,” he said flatly, clearly not proud of it. “I don’t know what the hell has gotten into him. I’m sorry for what he did to you.”

You nodded and bit your lip, looking down at the floor because you knew if you met Benny’s kind, blue eyes, you would crack again.

You sighed, praying your voice didn’t break when you spoke. “Do you think he’s going to be okay?”

Benny nodded convincingly, the faith he had in his older brother never faltering despite whatever was happening. “Yeah, he’ll be fine.”

You nodded, feeling the lump in your throat return.

“Are you gonna be alright?” he asked, making you nod faster and look anywhere but at him, the tears coming on fast as all the equipment surrounding you began to blur in your vision.

“I’m sorry he’s such a dipshit.”

You laughed through your tears, and Benny did too, his broad smile making you feel a little better.

“It’s just crazy,” you started, finding your courage to speak. “I don’t even hate him for what he did. I just want him to be happy and be safe.”

“Yeah, me too,” he agreed. “That’s what happens when you love someone.”

It was silent in the truck on the way over.

Benny hadn’t even turned on the radio which was unusual, leaving Will with nothing to listen to other than his thoughts and the sound of his pulse, counting each heartbeat until his brother pulled onto the tarmac and parked.

“You sure you're gonna be okay over there?” he asked, and Will could feel his eyes fixed on him.

Puffing out his cheeks, he breathed, “I think so. Kinda have to be.”

Will looked out the window, seeing all the families saying goodbye to his fellow troops, his heart aching in his chest as his mind went to you.

He blinked and then turned toward Benny, shaking his head and laughing, seeing how bad Benny’s beat up face was and knowing he looked ten times worse.

“We look like idiots.”

Benny ripped down the visor to look at his face in the mirror, offended Will would say such a thing.

“I look like this pretty much all the time. Are you saying I always look like an idiot?”

“I'll leave that up to you.”

Their chuckles faded out, leaving them to sit in silence for a couple of minutes, Benny studying Will carefully for any tell that he wasn’t stable enough to get on that aircraft.

He saw his brother’s chest rising and falling sharply, the pulse in his neck thumping wildly, the muscles in his cheeks flinching as he tried to control his emotions.

“Everything will be fine, man.” Benny assured him, referring to both things with you and his mission.

Will nodded and finally found the courage to look over at him, his eyes wet.

“Keep an eye on her for me?” he choked out, trying to swallow the broken sob that followed his words.

“I will.”

Benny clapped his shoulder and shook it, his eyes welling up too, knowing he would never get used to these goodbyes regardless of how many times they happened, seeing his big brother go off to war something he hated more and more over the years.

Will leaned over and pulled him into a hug, squeezing his back so tight while feeling himself start to crumble as Benny reciprocated it with equal force.

“I love you, man,” Benny mumbled against his brother’s shoulder.

“I love you, too, Ben.”

Benny knew there was no point in punishing him anymore, it was punishment enough with his own guilt and having to go do what he was, and losing you on top of it was about all Will could handle.

He’d have his brother’s back no matter what, even if he didn’t agree with some of the things he’d done, and knew Will would do the exact same for him if it was the other way around.

Benny had never seen Will so happy as when he was with you, and promised to himself that he would do everything in his power to help get you two back together, refusing to let him give up on what he knew was the real deal.

The brothers parted, Benny squeezing the back of Will’s neck as Will pulled the handle to open the door.

“Go get ‘em and get on home.”

---

Part 7

Taglist:

@sotwk @dailydragon08 @sunnys-day @thedreadandthefugitivemind @glassgulls

@littlenosoul @glitterypirateduck @momia2910 @maggotzombie @rmwarn90

@paintlavillered @casa-boiardi @stealfromthedevil @kmc1989 @justreblogginfics

@spaghettificationandpretzels @whatever-lmaoo @steviebbboi @christinhunnam @hp-hogwartsexpress

#will miller #triple frontier #will miller x female reader #charlie hunnam #will miller x reader #will 'ironhead' miller #will miller smut #william miller #william 'ironhead' miller #charlie hunnam characters #triple frontier fic #will miller fic

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jedijesi · 1 year ago

Text

Caught in the Cat's Web Chapter 3

Miguel O'Hara x Felicia Hardy!Reader

Previous Chapter 🕸️ Series Masterlist

Warnings: Mentions of SA, Angst, Sexsual Tension, Fluff, She/Her pronouns, slowburn, enemies to lovers,

Word Count: 1.6k

Summary: Felicia fucks up and as punishment, she must go on her first field mission with the person she hates most, her boss, Miguel O'Hara.

Co-Author: @stclairesplace

Nueva York, Earth 838

It’s been 3 weeks since training started, and the recruits were finally up to Miguel’s standards, ready to do fieldwork. (With supervision of course). Before the Spider-People had to get ready, everyone joined together in one of the common rooms to have coffee and chill. Felicia’s antics from day one of training, really made an impact on the Scarlet Spider as has been following her around ever since, trying to convince her to go on a date.

“Good evening, Ben.” Felicia gives the man a polite smile as he leans against the table she's sat at.

“Felicia.” He says with a smirk on his face. “How do you keep getting more sexy every time I see you?”

“Ugh, I can't listen to you swoon over Night Spider anymore, it's gross.” Julia Carpenter, a fellow Spider-woman, gags. “Felicia, will you please fuck him and put us out of our misery?”

Felicia smirks, “No I think I’ll leave that up to him to do for himself. After all, I’m sure his left hand is very jealous of his right.”

Spider-cat chokes on their bowl of milk, surprised by Felicia’s statement.

“Felicia, if we get to pick groups, wanna work together?” Julia asks.

“I thought O’Hara was picking?” Margo Kess interrupts.

Felicia rolls her eyes. “I swear he's out to get me.”

“He’s definitely not your biggest fan.” Julia agrees.

“What happened between you too?” Ben asks.

“He was intimidated by a Felicia Hardy with spider powers.” Felicia flips her hair. “Miguel is just insecure about his small dick and is worried that little ol’ me is gonna show everyone what kind of bitch boy he truly is-”

Felicia feels two large hands grip her shoulders from behind, finally realizing the terrified faces of her peers. “So!” Miguel leans down next to her ear. She can almost feel his lips touch her earlobe, causing her to slightly shiver. “What are we talking about over here, huh? Anyone?” Of course, he already knew exactly what they were talking about, he just wanted to see Felicia squirm, preferably by him. The rest of the spider people look at Miguel as if they just arrived, shrugging and shaking their heads. “Felicia?”

Felicia could feel her blood boil. “You heard me, bitch boy.” Miguel leans back up shrugging his shoulders, and gives a nod of his head as if impressed by her outburst. “Ok then,” he pauses, moving his hands to the side of the chair and twirling it around before grabbing her by the shoulder and easily lifting her as if she weighs nothing to place her in front of him. “This is a great lesson, everyone. When you are working in teams with multiple spider-people, you won't always get along, but you have to work together. So!” Miguel claps his hands together. “Let’s make an example out of you, shall we? Felicia, Ben, you're with me!”

Felcia’s jaw drops in fury. “No, No, No! ’m not going on some little adventure with fuck boy and small dick, okay? NOT GONNA HAPPEN!” Felicia attempts to brush past Miguel to leave but is immediately stopped by his arm. “Let me pass.” She glares.

“Make me, sweetheart. I dare you” Miguel smirks before putting his mask on. “LYLA, tell Ms. Drew to take over.” Before LYLA could respond, he hit a few buttons on Felicia’s watch, opening a portal and pushing her through.

“W-What just happened?!” Ben scrabbles before Miguel snatches him by the collar, tossing him in before joining the two.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

New York, Earth 192

Felicia groans as she rubs her head. “Fuck.” She signs, looking out at the familiar skyline.

“Woah!” Ben yells, before hitting the concrete rooftop with his face.

About 2 seconds later, Miguel flips out of the portal, landing between the two. “Welcome to field training.”

Felicia stands up to join Miguel, stretching her sore muscles. “Why?”

“I’m the boss.” He states.

Felicia shakes her head, crossing her arms.

“Egotistical Dick”, Felicia mutters under her breath.

“What was that?”

“Nothing, sir.” She says with a shit eatting grin.

Miguel looks down at the crowds of people below, studying the interactions of each person. “Tell me what you see, Ben.” The man doesn't answer, prompting Miguel to turn around to check on him. He finds Ben staring at Felcica’s ass as she bends over the wall to look below. Miguel tilts his head before walking to Ben and smacking the side of his head.

“Ouch!” Ben shouts, cradling his head.

Miguel leans in, whispering to Ben’s ear. “If I catch you again, I’ll dangle you over this building for an hour. You got it?” He says before leaning back to watch Ben’s head nod rapidly.

Miguel turns around to find Felicia jumping off of the building. He hastily leaps after her, trying to catch her as she swings down the street. Felicia swings down an ally, irking Miguel further. Once he turns into the ally he stops in his tracks, stopping, digging his talons into the brick.

“Whatcha doin’?” The upside-down Felicia asks the man holding a drunk girl.

“I’m taking my friend home.” He spats out, walking backward.

“I’ll take her. What’s her address?” The man turns away from Felcia, ignoring her. This makes Felcia’s blood boil. Leaping over the man she snatches the barely conscious girl from him, putting her on the fire escape above him.

“What the fuck?!” The man shouts.

“What's her name?” Felicia asks from above, looking at the ID in the girl's purse.

The man sprints down the damp ally but doesn't make it more than 10 feet before he’s kicked to the ground, landing face-first into a puddle. Felicia rolls the man over to look at this bloody face before picking him up by the collar and punching him, breaking his nose.

The man lets out a scream. “You, fucking bitch!”

“I am being very generous right now, if I wasn’t Night Spider, I would have strung you up and skinned you with my claws.” Felicia picks the man up, webbing his feet together and dangling him from the street lamp in front of the police station, leaving a note for the cops. After, she quickly returned to the woman on the fire escape. “Hi, sweetie. Can you hear me?”

The woman tries to speak but can’t find the energy.

“That's okay, Hon. Is your address on your phone?” Felicia asks, taking it out of her baby pink purse.

Miguel watches in awe at how well Felicia handles the situation. She manages to turn a potentially disastrous outcome into a success story, something that Miguel was surprised that she could do with such ease. He follows Felicia from afar as she takes the woman home, studying how she handles her with the utmost care, bringing her water in her apartment, telling the woman’s roommates what happened, taking her to the restroom to change, and bringing her to bed.

In this moment, Miguel sees Felicia in a different light. He recognizes her as someone who possesses an extraordinary ability, not only to handle herself but to others who are in need of it. Not the stuck-up, difficult, know-it-all he thought she was. He finds himself drawn to her, surprising, compassionate nature and can’t help but feel inspired by her actions.

As soon as the girl is settled in her bed safely, Felicia quietly removes herself from her home. When she steps outside, she finds Miguel waiting for her outside the girl's fire escape.

“So what are you now, my personal stalker?”

He doesn’t respond right away but instead has his back turned to her before swinging to the rooftop next door, prompting Felicia to follow. Miguel’s elbows lean against the edge of the rooftop wall, admiring the glimmering city lights. Felicia slowly walks up to join him, flipping herself so she’s sitting on the wall, making them eye level for once.

“I take it you saw what I did.” She asks, swinging her feet over the heights.

“I did”

“Well by all means yell or throw me off the building or something. Don’t just stand there lookin’ like a judgmental statue.”

“Why would I yell, Felicia? You found a civilian in need of assistance and you handled it… very well I might add.” he shrugs as if it was obvious already.

Felicia lets his words and the soft tone of his voice simmer in her mind for a moment. “So- ”

“I’m not mad at you…” he turns his head to look at her not realizing just how close in proximity she really was to him. They maintain eye contact before he continues with a smirk, “…not yet anyways.”

Felicia leaned closer, to retaliate with a snarky comment, when a noise spooked them both out of their trance, and they quickly separated leaving a spacious gap.

“THERE you guys are! I’ve looking all over hell and back for you two, you guys just DISAPPEARED!” Ben yells. “Where have you been!”

Miguel rolls his eyes out of annoyance. Felicia coughs, muttering, “asshole”, making Miguel chuckle.

“Doesn’t matter to you. Let’s just finish the damn exercise.” Miguel brushes past Ben, lightly grazing his shoulder before jumping off the rooftop. Felicia follows suit, instead skipping her way to the edge before turning around to face Ben, winking at him before falling off.

“I just don’t get those two”, Ben sighs as he unwillingly follows after them.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

DAILY BUGLE

A SPIDER-WOMAN: NIGHT SPIDER

Last night, New York’s newest Spider-man was seen for the first time. Only it wasn’t a Spider-Man but a Spider-Woman! Several criminals were found in front of the NYPD police station with notes from a Night Spider! Who is she?

Peter studies the blurry image attached to the front page article. “Felicia?!”

Chapter 4

A/N: lmk if you want to be added to the series taglist!

Taglist: @leahnicole1219

#jedi jesi #miguel ohara fanfiction #miguel o’hara x reader #felicia hardy #miguel ohara x female reader #miguel o’hara x felicia hardy #miguel o’hara x felicia hardy reader #miguel x reader #stclairesplace #miguel o’hara smut #spider man x felicia hardy #spider-man x reader #spider-man x black cat #spider-man 2099

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ms-oswald · 11 months ago

Note

📖 Fic rec time! When you get this, reply with three fics that you've read and loved to pieces, then pass on to at least five other people who read fics. Let’s appreciate fic writers and their amazing stories 💖

i'm late - sorry. oh god, just three??

DANCING IN THE DARK | @arcielee | a tom bennett x ofc short story set during season 1 of world on fire. i am an avid lover of historical fictions, especially stories related to world war one and two - so reading DITD made me feel like i was reading one of the novels i just adore. arcie has such a way with using words and creating such beautiful compositions - it just makes your heart melt. the budding romance between tom and vera is *chef kiss*, and it being an open ending just makes you smile because you pray for a hea.

WE WERE SOMETHING DON'T YOU THINK SO? | @inthedayswhenlandswerefew | a ben hardy x ofc story. this is one of the fics that just comes to haunt me - in a good way. a historical fiction inspired by the russian revolution and the story of the romanov? sign me up. this was such a beautiful story, it makes you cry and hope for the oc and for ben. || another one that just struck me: HAVE YOU NO IDEA THAT YOU'RE IN DEEP?. a HOTD with aemond x reader. this one killed me and i think of it often because i'm still crying over it, but fck it was good. it's one of the stories that just sucks you in and makes you scream at the top of your lungs from all the emotional rollercoaster.

WOLF-HEART | @gemini-mama | a finan x ofc fic set during the time gap in season 2. this was such a great read - faoladhean has become one of the ocs i love so much. the multi-chaptered fic was written with such detail and with such careful descriptions, the relationship between finan and faoladhean blossomed so beautifully, i was completely smitten. and she has such strength and such love to give, i can't wait to see where the sequel goes. She-Wolf for the win.

i know it says 3, but i don't think i'll be getting another one, so i need to add more or i'mma explode.

CRIMES OF PASSION | @itbmojojoejo | RUNA. i love you. a take of 50's London with the tlk crew? a love triangle between between our ofc, sihtric and finan? fck yes. bring it on. mojo created an oc that just makes you wish you knew her in real life. she is wild - which i adore - and the pacing of the story, the characters, the dynamic. love it all. can't wait to see the ending. i know i will cry, i got tissues ready. RUNA. let's be friends?

A THOUSAND YEARS | @persephones-journey | a staple for finan x oc fics, this series was one of the first i stumbled upon when i started reading tlk fics and i immediately fell in love. the level of angst and passion these stories have - the relationship between finan and aisling, all their ups and downs - it has your heart doing somersaults in all kinds of direction. the level of dedication to expand this au is amazing and i love every word of it. aisling has become one of my fave ocs - a fiery character, hardheaded, stubborn and yet has such a big heart. i can't wait to see where her story goes.

FIRE IN HER EYES | @emilyhufflepufftlk | another tlk series, a beautiful love story between finan x lucinda. these stories broke my heart in so many ways and yet i could not get enough of them. i loved the story and development of the relationship between finan and lucinda and i also loved her sisters and the family they created - this was done beautifully and worth the heartache and tears. lucinda had such love from finan, her children and from everyone around her - you wished you were part of it all.

#ask game #there are so many more out there #all of them just WONDERFUL I WANNA CRY #i cheated i know #idc :3

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rossmccallsqueen · 4 years ago

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3 with Ben please!

3. “Stay with me.”

You were done. You were absolutely done. You literally just couldn’t take it anymore.

For the third time that week, Ben was making you feel like you were the crazy one. He would change the time of your date, he would keep you waiting when you would have a date planned, and would get upset when you got frustrated about it.

There was a double standard and you just couldn’t do it anymore. Your heart was tired and so was your body and you just wanted to rest.

The last time he did it, you knew you had made up your mind. You needed to do this for you, and finally stick up for yourself. You weren’t the crazy one for having reasonable expectations. Despite the numerous attempts to communicate with Ben, it just seemed like everything was going in one ear and out the other. The behavior wasn’t changing.

You decided to call him when he pushed back the time he was coming over yet again.

“What are you doing that’s so important?” You asked, trying not to sound frustrated in your voice.

“I’m trying to get some stuff done outside before I come over.”

“So it couldn’t have waited? Or been done earlier? If you’d told me earlier I wouldn’t be frustrated but here we are again Ben. We’re having the same conversation that we always have.”

You couldn’t help it. You weren’t going to hide anything this time.

“What do you mean?”

“You do this all the time and it gets so frustating. You never communicate with me and then get mad when I get upset or ask questions. I’m allowed to get upset and ask questions.”

“I never said that.”

“Well it’s how you’re making me feel Ben.”

There was a silence that washed over the phone. You could hear Ben breathing into the receiver, like he was thinking about what he was going to say next. You just hoped that it would be a good answer, whatever it would be that came out. It had to have been a solid minute before you thought he was going to speak.

“Stay with me.”

“What?”

“Please don’t leave. Stay with me.”

“Where would I go?”

“I don’t know, I just get scared. I know I make you frustrated and I’m sorry. You have every right to get frustrated. I’ll work on it I promise.”

“How do I know that?” And honestly, you had no way of knowing.

Send me a prompt?

#danielle answers #borhap #bohemian rhapsody #ben hardy #ben hardy fic #ben hardy x reader #ben hardy x reader angst #angst #ben hardy angst #ben jones #ben jones angst #blurb #ben hardy blurb #danielle writes

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v1rg1nvodkasprite · 6 years ago

Text

Lacking →Ben Hardy

Summary

After scrolling through social media and seeing pictures from the Fashion Week in Paris you couldn't make it to, seeing Ben with supermodels makes you hyperaware of your flaws.

Warnings: low self esteem, language, angst, mentions of cheating, crying.

Notes: this amazing idea was given by @spreadymercury !! thank you so much for submitting this. i hope you like it!!

The pictures from the tabloids of Ben and supermodels at after parties in Paris while I was back home were driving me insane. I sighed, dumping the magazines in the trash reminding myself to finally unsubscribe from them. Ben had flown straight from the Oscars to Paris for Fashion Week. I had to studying for finals that were coming up next week.

I was a little disappointed that I couldn't go but I couldn't jeopardize my future when I could just go next year. But now the pictures that were everywhere on my instagram feed were making me regret not going.

I rubbed my arm, trying to smooth down the goosebumps that arose on my skin. I let out a shaky breathe, throwing my phone onto the comforter. I ran my fingers through my hair, a nervous habit I picked up as a teenager.

I knew Ben. He was one of the nicest and funniest guys I had ever met. We had 3 years under our belt but it felt like, recently, we were slipping apart. I'm not sure when it started or why but now I remember how we would cuddle at night and throw on a cheesy, badly-rated movie before going to sleep or how we'd take spontaneous trips to the dinner across town and share a milkshake, none of which we do anymore.

I signed, falling back into Ben and I's shared bed. It wasn't that I thought he'd ever cheat on me. I just knew they're were prettier girls, more his age, more experienced. He deserved better than me and I knew that from the start.

He'd introduce me to one of his co-stars, a girl he worked with on some movie or tc show he was in and I'd instantly feel insecure, knowing that it was obvious she was way prettier than me.

I remember one time, he introduced me to Elle Fanning. She was a beautiful and talented actress who played Mary Shelley in a movie Ben was in. I noticed from the start that Ben admired her, she was so gorgeous and talented.

It stuck in the back of my mind. How he gushed about how great of an actress she was or how funny she was and she was.

Ben deserved better than me and no matter how hard I tried I would never be enough. A tear ran down my cheek, as I looked through the pictures on my instagram account. I clicked on one particular picture, one of Ben and I together, him still in his Roger Taylor costume. I smiled, half-heartedly.

Clicking on the comment section, most of what I saw were insults, voicing their opinion on how I shouldn't be with Ben because of how I looked. I archived the photo, not having the heart to really delete it.

I dialed Ben's phone number and pressed call, shakingly putting the phone up to my ear. It rang once, twice, and then stopped. I let out a breath, my hands shaking. My breath caught in my throat as I tried to slow my breathing.

My phone rang, a surge of excitement and relief shook through me. Maybe it was Ben calling me back. I glanced at my phone and it was Joe calling me, not Ben.

"Hello," I croaked through the panic attack I could feel coming on. "Y/N! How are you? You sound sick?" he asked. My hands shook more, "I need help," I whispered. "What is it? Are you okay? What do you need?" I loved how caring Joe was. He was always someone I could go to for anything.

"Please just, I don't know. Are you in London?" I asked. "I'll be at yours in 20, okay? Don't move," he said, hanging up the phone. I squeezed the comforter, trying to stop the shaking.

I stood up, pacing back and forth. Before I knew it, Joe knocked on the door. I straightened up, trying to look a little presentable before opening the door. Joe, of course, saw right through me, giving me a pitiful look before hugging me tightly.

The tension that I kept bottled up, all the thoughts of me not being enough for Ben and him deserving more poured out of me. I sobbed, loudly into Joe's shoulder, telling him how much I wished I was better for Ben. How much I wished I was what he deserved.

"Ben loves you, okay? He is enamored by you, he talks about you all the time. Don't question it," he told me as we sat down on the couch. "It's not that I think he doesn't love me, it's that he deserves better than me. Have you seen him? The pictures of him at Paris Fashion Week? He looks so happy there next to those models," I whispered.

"You are more than you are, Y/N. You're one of the smartest people I know. Talented, funny, courageous. All things Ben knows and understands. You think too lowly of yourself," he told me, rubbing my shoulders to comfort me.

"Have you seen the models beside him? They're gorgeous!" I said, wipping my tears from my eyes. "Y/N, have you seen yourself? Ben is lucky to have you. Your children will be beautiful," he said, cracking a joke. I laughed a little.

"But-" I started to say but he cut me off. "No, stop it. Ben loves you and you love him and you'll get married, have kids and live happily ever after okay?" he asked and I sighed, nodding.

"Ben will be back in what, like a day? Do you want me to stay here or are you okay?" he asked, sincerely. "No, I'm okay. Thank you though. Can you stay for a little bit tho. Order dinner and watch a movie?" I suggested and he smiled. "Sure," he said.

Joe and I spent the rest of the night eating chinese food that I had delivered to the house, watching our second movie of the night. We had gotten cuddled up under a throw blanket together, keeping each other warm while drinking some wine I dug out from the basement.

"Can't believe we've never hung out, just you and I. I'm having a great time," Joe said, smiling. "Me too," I smiled back, looking up to him.

The door opened and surprisingly, Ben walked in, "Y/N?" I got up quickly, in excitement. "Ben! Oh my god, what are you doing here?" I asked, smiling. "I came to surprise you. What is Joe doing here?" he asked, almost sternly. I looked at him confused. Why was he so angry?

"He was just here to comfort me because I was upset. What's wrong?" I explained and he nodded. "Yeah, for comfort. Maybe I should've stayed in Paris," he said, passive aggressively. "What are you implying?" I asked, crossing my arms over my chest. I was starting to get angry.

He looks past me to Joe, who is now awkwardly sitting up straight. "Are you fucking my girlfriend?" he asks. What the hell. "Ben, what the fuck is wrong with you?" I yell. He turns me to, his face red and veins popping out of his neck.

I shake my head, scoffing. "How were the models in Paris? We're they pretty enough for your liking?" I ask. "You know what, I think I'm gonna leave," Joe starts to stand up, awkwardly. "No!" Ben and I both yell.

"You're unbelievable! We've been together for three years and you throw it all away to sleep with my best friend!" Ben yelled at me. I started to shake again as tears rolled down my cheeks.

"I can't believe you'd ever think that of me. I've tried so hard, so hard, Ben. To be what you deserve. To be pretty and funny and smart. I'm sorry that I'm not enough," my voice cracked as I practically screamed at him. "I'm sorry I won't ever be like those models or actresses. I'm sorry you're dating a 22 year old in college," I whispered.

Ben's face softened, "I-. Listen, fuck. Y/N." I shook my head, looking away from him. "You know what? No, I can't do this. I'm not doing this. Apologize to Joe before he leaves," I told Ben, grabbing my keys and phone. "Joe, I'm so sorry. I'll call you later," I smiled to him then turning to glare at Ben. I turned on my heel to walk out of our home.

Before I could reach the door, Ben grabbed my arm. I whipped around to lol at him and he was on his knee. He reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a velvet box. No fucking way.

He opened it to reveal a simple but expensive looking ring. "No, why? What?" I asked to no one in particular. Joe shuffled from behind Ben. "Are you really gonna do this now?" he asked and I turned to him, "You knew about this?" He shrugged.

"Will you marry me? I'm sorry I ever-" Ben said but I pulled him up before he could finish. "Fuck you for doing this and yes, I will," I said before pulling him into to kiss me. He smiled into the kiss. "Okay, now can I leave?" I heard Joe ask from behind us. I didn't pull away or even open my eyes but I just mentioned, with my hand, that he could leave.

"Bye guys! It was nice seeing you, and congrats by the way," Joe said. "Thanks, now please leave," Ben said against my lips. "Yeah. Okay, bye!" Joe said, leaving and closing the door behind him.

taglist

@rrrogah-tayluhh , @simplyvictoria-93 , @rencontre-moi-dans-le-couloir , @kirket03 , @plethora-of-things , @satanspaghetti , @rogersrager , @spreadymercury , @kurt-nightcrawler , @rogahmtaylah , @johnricharddeacon

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hearts-hunger · 6 years ago

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Just Like Puzzle Pieces ♡ Ben Hardy x Reader

Anonymous asked: Can I get something fluffy/smutty about Ben loving your full curves? Us hourglass girls need some of those thighs and hands.

Summary: Reader feels like she’s not good enough for Ben, and he shows her that they go together just like puzzle pieces.

Pairings: Ben Hardy x Reader

Word Count: 1.3k

Warnings: Body-shaming

A/N: This one’s for you, sweet nonnie! Being a curvy girl myself, I totally get you. I didn’t include smut in this one (though I’ve been toying with a Ben curve-worship smut fic, so be on the lookout!) - it’s angsty and fluffy, and I hope you like it! ♡

“Nope. I’m not going.”

Your boyfriend looked up from where he’d been scrolling on his phone, furrowing his brow. “What?”

You tried to undo the zipper on the side of your dress; it was caught on something and wouldn’t budge. You huffed. It was a wonder the stupid thing hadn’t busted yet.

“I’m not going,” you said again.

Ben rose from the bench at the foot of your bed, coming over to where you stood in front of the mirror, still trying to unzip yourself from the dress.

“Quit that,” he chided, batting your hands away. “You’re going to break it.”

Angry tears welled in your eyes as you let him work on it. “I don’t care,” you said. “I’m not putting it on ever again, so it doesn’t matter.”

He managed to get it unzipped and met your eyes in the mirror. “Why not? It’s pretty.”

You bit your lip, willing yourself not to cry, but it was no use. You quickly wiped away the tears that fell.

“Are you crying, love?” he asked, worry coloring his voice. He stepped between you and the mirror, studying you face, concern etched in his own. You tried to turn your head but he caught you gently by the chin.

“Hey, hey,” he soothed. He brushed his thumb over your cheek to catch your tears. “What’s going on? Talk to me.”

You couldn’t bear to see the love and worry in his face; you didn’t deserve it.

“It’s nothing,” you lied. “You should go. I’ve already made you late.” You were supposed to be having a double date with Rami and Lucy tonight; Ben had gotten dressed in a handsome black suit and was waiting for you get ready so you could leave. You’d gone through everything in your wardrobe and nothing looked good. Not that it was your dresses’ fault; you had a wardrobe full of beautiful dresses that would look good on anybody other than you. You loved Lucy, but the thought of how lithe and beautiful she’d surely be tonight only made you feel worse.

“I’m not going anywhere without you,” Ben said. “I’ll call Rami and cancel. We’ll stay in if you want to.”

“You shouldn’t have to cancel,” you said. “Just go. I’ll be fine.”

He looked over your face, trying to understand. “What’s wrong, love? Please tell me what it is so I can fix it.”

Your breath came out like a sob. “You can’t fix it, Ben,” you said, “It’s just... it can’t be fixed. So please just go, don’t waste any more time worrying about it.”

He looked like he was going to say something, but before he did he pulled his phone from his pocket.

“There,” he said after a moment. He put his phone away and met your eyes. “Dinner’s cancelled. Now we’ve got nowhere to be and I have all the time in the world. So please talk to me, sweetheart.”

Under his concerned gaze, you were painfully aware of all the places your dress hugged your body and the flaws you couldn’t hide no matter how many dresses you tried on. You suddenly wanted it off, wanted to be in something that didn’t show your shape; you wouldn’t take it off in front of Ben right now, though. That would be even worse.

“I’m just tired, ok?” you said, frustrated, lashing out in your upset. You moved away from him, putting distance between you. “There’s nothing to talk about. You shouldn’t have cancelled.”

“Well, I did, and there’s nothing to do about it now,” he said. “So you may as well stop lying to me and tell me what’s really going on. And don’t say it’s nothing, because it’s obviously not.”

You swiped at your tears, annoyed that you were making such a scene in front of him but wishing he would just drop it. “You want to know what’s really going on?”

“Yeah, I do,” he said sincerely.

“Fine,” you snapped. “What’s really going on is that I’m not good enough for you and everybody knows it.”

His expression was one of shock and distress. “That’s not true, sweetheart,” he said. “Where on earth would you get an idea like that? That’s the craziest thing I’ve ever heard.”

“Is it?” you asked. “I mean, look at us. You’re six gorgeous feet of chiseled abs and I’m - ”

You cut yourself off, feeling it was self-explanatory what you were. You crossed your arms over your chest almost unconsciously, trying to hide yourself from him.

“We don’t go together, Ben,” you said softly. “I know it and you know it.”

He didn’t say anything, just closed the distance between you. You looked down at his shiny black boots, unable to meet his eyes.

“I want you to listen to me very carefully,” he said after a moment, his voice hoarse, like the beginning of crying. You looked up at him then, surprised to see his lovely green eyes pooled with tears.

“All that you just said - ” He shook his head. “That’s simply not true, sweetheart.”

He took a deep breath. “Um, here,” he said, turning you so you faced the mirror, standing behind you. “I want to show you something.”

He put his hands on your waist, right where your dress hugged your too-wide hips. You winced at the contact.

“No, no, it’s ok,” he said gently. “Look. You see how perfectly my hands fit there? Like you were made for them.”

You felt tears fall down down your cheeks at his words, his voice soft and sweet and full of love. You turned to face him.

“Ben, I - ”

“Shh, it’s ok,” he soothed. He took you in his arms, tucking you against his chest and resting his chin on your head.

“See?” he said softly. “Just like puzzle pieces.”

You buried your face in his chest as he held you, running his hand up and down your back.

“I think we go together just fine, love,” he said. “Better than anyone else. And I think you’re the single most beautiful thing I’ve ever laid eyes on. I’m so lucky to have the privilege of loving you. So lucky to be the one who takes you home every night and wakes up to you every morning.”

He kissed your forehead. “I love you so much, sweetheart.”

You drew a shaky breath. “I love you too, Ben.”

He pulled back at met your eyes. “And I intend to spend the rest of my life reminding you how gorgeous you are,” he said. “Don’t you ever for one second think you are anything but the most radiant and breathtaking thing in the whole world.”

You gave a watery laugh as you ran your hand over your cheek. “You’re not so bad yourself.”

He chuckled as he cupped your cheek, tracing his thumb over your blush. “I adore you. D’you know that?”

You nodded, not trusting yourself to speak. You would never tire of loving him, not as long as you lived.

“And since we don’t have plans any more,” he said, “I had the thought that I could show you just how well we go together.”

You smiled. “Just a thought?”

He cocked his head as he looked at you, his smile gentle and full of affection.

“No, love,” he said. “I intend to worship every inch of your body until know how perfect you are.”

You gave a sigh of pleasure as he kissed you, knowing you were the luckiest girl on earth to be loved by him.

“I love you,” you said. “Thank you... for everything.”

He looked at you with such love that it nearly took your breath away.

“Anytime, my love,” he said. He kissed you again and you knew he was right. You were made for him, just like he was made for you. Just like puzzle pieces.

#i hope you guys liked it uwu #especially you darling nonnie!#ben hardy x reader #ben hardy x reader angst #ben hardy x reader fluff #ben hardy fanfiction #borhap boys fanfiction #ben hardy angst #ben hardy fluff #maddie writes stuff!#tw body shaming

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juconix · 6 years ago

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Ben Hardy x Reader - Can We Fix This?

@ifcbvb requested: Can I get a Ben hardy imagine where your a famous singer and he’s away on the press tour for bohemian Rhapsody and you’re on tour and things are getting difficult between you bc you barley see each other! ❤️

Word count: 909 (sorry it is short but it turned into a vent session for me)

Thanks for requesting!

----

As proud as you were of Ben, it was hard to keep things in your relationship going strong. It hurt you to say that, but it was true… You were losing him. He was going to go on to do amazing things, you knew that, and you were too. You just… Didn’t believe that you were doing things together anymore.

Back when you and Ben first began to date things were great, the two of you were an absolute unit with each other, texting every night and going on dates to different small restaurants every Tuesday night… you couldn’t help but blame yourself that it wasn’t like that anymore. He was traveling all over the world for his new film Bohemian Rhapsody, while you had been traveling the UK on a two month tour for your new album.

Over the months since he started filming you could count on one hand how many times you’d seen him. You spent nights alone, watching him upload photos to his instagram with all the people he’d met. Your texts went unopened and your calls went to voicemail more times than you could count.

You’d convinced yourself everything was going to be okay, because Ben was a good guy! He didn’t mean what he was doing! He probably just thought you were too busy on tour when he was free, maybe you both just had really bad timing! At least… You thought so...

Ben… Was near oblivious of the situation, all he knew is that he missed you dearly and he was so damn proud of the music you had made and contributed to the world. But, he was busy, so busy he’d forgotten to text his daily good morning and his nightly I love yous’. Ben Hardy had met so many amazing people through this film.. Rami, Mike, Joseph, Gwilym, Lucy, Roger Taylor and Brian May! His opportunities were going to be so broad!

He couldn’t wait to come home and see you, for both of you to share stories of your endeavors while you were apart.

The Brit got a phone call that night when he reached the room he was staying in after an interview in the states. It was you, a smile lit up on his face as he answered, excited to hear your voice again.

“Hey, darling!” He beamed, and you could hear the smile in his voice when he answered.

Ben was answered with small sniffles and a soft, broken hey. That’s all it took for that beautiful smile to vanish, and for him to become overwhelmed with concern.

“Hey.. Hey.. Are you alright, what’s going on?” His voice was smooth, reassuring.

Your heart shattered, you were so selfish, you were going to bring up all these concerns, when really he had no idea, all he wanted was to love and protect you… And you were going to say this to him.

You were choking on your thoughts and your tears and you couldn’t help but spill out in between raspy breaths.

“You’ve always felt like home…”

“What?” Poor, confused Ben. He didn’t know where this was coming from, he didn’t know how to help.

“Now it feels like I’m in an empty house and the only way out is locked. I’m so alone, Ben…”

He was silent. His heart was shattering and so was yours. He did this to you, and he didn’t know when or how, and he certainly didn’t know how to fix it. Why hadn’t you told him sooner? Why did you feel like this? How could he make the hurting stop for you?

“I feel like I’ve lost everything. You are my everything, and you’re gone…” Your voice was a broken whisper.

“I’m here.” Ben stated firmly, his voice close to wavering, “I’ve always been here, and I’m not going to leave you now.” His throat closed when he said the word leave.

“It doesn’t feel like it.. Lately it feel like I’ve been doing nothing but talking to a wall.”

“We’re both on tour and--”

“Ben you and I both know that we know each other's schedules, I don’t know... maybe I’m not calling or texting enough”

“Don’t say that, you’re most certainly not at fault for this, you’re trying, if anything I need to try more.”

“Ben, I didn’t call to blame you or me..” You paused, more tears welling up as you choked out a breath, “Do you think we… can fix this? Is there really a point? What if the rest of our careers lead us this way?”

Without a doubt in his mind, Ben answered. “We’ve gotten so far, we can’t turn back now. I love you so much… Never in my life have I been this willing to fight for something like this. I’ve never wanted, needed, anything more than I need you. I’ll always be willing to do anything if it means just a little longer of having you with me, I always have been willing to.”

Your voice shook as you swallowed thickly, “I don’t know what to do from here, Ben… I don’t know what to do from here… Not anymore.”

“I think I know enough, sweetheart, just hang in and we’ll fix it together, we’ll be together again soon, just two weeks.. Okay?”

“Yeah.. okay. I love you so much, Ben… I want this to work.”

“I love you, too. I want it to work more than anything.”

“Goodnight, Benny.”

“G’night, love.”

#angst villiage #ben hardy #ben hardy x reader #bohemian rhapsody #ben hardy x reader angst #honestly i kinda love this #vent fic #comfort fic

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reniboo · 3 years ago

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BE MY MISTAKE // Roger Taylor

(I DONT EVEN WRITE FOR THIS FANDOM ANYMORE, BUT I GENUINELY THINK THIS IS THE BEST PIECE OF WRITING I HAVE EVER WRITTEN)

INTRODUCTION : one drunken mistake costs Roger Taylor you, and he begins to realize just how much he needed you.

WARNINGS : cheating, attempted angst, swearing, works with both Roger Taylor and Ben Hardy!Roger Taylor, lack of knowledge in drumming,

This was a mistake. This was a huge mistake and Roger knew it.

He knew he shouldn't have gone out the night before, even if it was one of Freddie's infamous parties that he promised he'd attend, not when you were sleeping peacefully in his bed. Blissfully unaware and waiting for his return.

The dreadful and self-loathing thoughts seeped into his thoughts as he pulled his t-shirt over his head and zipped his trousers up.

"Rog, where’re you off to?" The long haired girl asked, an amused tone hidden in her voice, sitting up in the bed and exposing her bare chest as the blanket fell down.

He ignored her and continued his hunt around the room for his left shoe. "Don't tell me you're leaving?" Once he didn't answer, she added, "Roger?"

Silence filled the bedroom as his movement ceased. "This never happened, okay? It shouldn't have, and it didn't. Got it?" His voice was filled with venom.

Roger waited until the blonde nodded, watching as her eyes filled with disappointment.

He should have felt bad for hurting her feelings, for being so blunt, but at that point, he truly, honestly couldn't care less. He was too focused on you. The girl he'd left alone, in a cold apartment.

You knew, and he knew that you knew. You were smart, too smart for your own good.

As soon as you woke up, you noticed the coolness of the spot next to you on the bed, the place that Roger's warm body usually took up. That was the first sign that something was wrong.

After making yourself a light breakfast and a large cup of tea, you decided to pay John and Veronica a visit.

Roger's whereabouts were unknown to you but you knew for a fact that Veronica was home as she had 'popped in’ to say hello last night, accompanied with a bottle of wine and two glasses. Needless to say, she left the apartment a little more than tipsy.

From the moment you had met Veronica, you'd decided that you liked her. Being able to bond over the two band members you were dating- albeit, John was much easier to deal with than Roger.

But you loved him. With all your heart, you were completely, head-over-heels in love with Roger Taylor. Which was why he was so terrified of going home, so he didn't. Instead, he turned up at the recording studio, wearing the same clothes from yesterday, and messy, unbrushed hair.

When you knocked on John and Veronica's apartment, it was John who had answered.

The look he gave you was filled with guilt, but you didn't bring it up, only shooting a look that could only be described as confused to Veronica, who seemed to be sporting the same expression as John.

“(Y/N)? What are you doing here?” The worry in John’s voice was the second sign of something wrong.

You stepped back in surprise at the bluntness of John’s question. “Well, I just thought I’d pay Veronica a visit before I joined you boys at band practice.”

He nodded slowly, brows furrowed as he excused himself.

Veronica avoided your eyes, turning around and entering the kitchen. “I’ll put the kettle on,” she sighed.

Roger was scared shitless. His palms were sweaty, his heart hammering against his chest. He felt like he was going to have a heart attack.

Regret. It had consumed every thought in his brain, leaving him a mumbling mess during the beginning of practice.

With an exasperated sigh, Freddie snapped. “Roger, for the last time, it’s supposed to slow down once the chorus finishes, not carry on!” He didn’t reply, gaining an exaggerated eye roll from Freddie. “Honestly, Rog. Where is your head at?”

He winced at the nickname, flashing back to the naked girl in the cold hotel room. She was the complete opposite to you in every way. From the colour of her eyes to the way she said his name.

He felt disgusted in himself.

The bile in his throat threatened to emerge, causing Roger to leap out from behind his drum kit, trying not to hit anything as he rushed over to the first bin he saw.

Freddie and Brian watched in revolt as their friend heaved into a trash can. “Darling, you really must stop drinking so much. What would poor (Y/N) do if they saw you in this state?” His words brought on another surge of coughing and spluttering from Roger.

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absolutelyfizzing · 3 years ago

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angels and demons

warren worthington x reader fluff

@shuckfaced-fangirl Hi! can I request a warren worthington x female mutant reader where her powers are shadow summoning? So I guess everyone in the school kind of views her as some sort of demon? With a lot of fluff? Thank you!!

Description - Y/N is a shadow summoner and is isolated from her peers. Warren helps her see that not everyone fears her and that she is worthy of affection.

warnings - its so fluffy. fem pronouns. some angsty stuff (isolation, depression, sadness), one innuendo, devastating fluff, warren being an angel. i tried to make it POC inclusive, please let me know if it feels restricting or excluding and i will edit it.

word count - 3700, i got carried away

A/N - im so sorry this took so long, i took a break from writing while i am working on moving to college. i will still be spotty for the next few weeks but hopefully, i will post a few more things in that time and then get back on a normal schedule. also, thanks so much for this request, i had a lot of fun writing it and i hope it is something you enjoy reading!

MASTERLIST

You walked through the halls with a lowered head. You knew that you made others uncomfortable and so you chose to try to make yourself as small and unthreatening as possible. You had been 'gifted' powers with which you could manipulate and create darkness. You were a shadow summoner. That wasn't a name that many found reassuring or comforting.

There were a few who could see past it and who was close to being what you might call friends but those people were few and far between. There were overwhelmingly more people who believed that you must have been a scary and mean person, that you were some sort of demon. This couldn't have been further from the truth if one were to look past appearances. Your shadow was larger and darker than that of your peers and it trailed behind you with a mind of its own, moving and growing without you even meaning for it to happen. Your hands were constantly covered in something darker and dustier than the rest of your skin, a deep and pure black. It trailed from the tips of your fingers and faded on your forearm so it looked as though you had just dipped your arms into a chimney or that shadows were crawling up your arms.

When you first got them, you thought they were sort of cool. They made you look sort of goth and that was fun. That feeling quickly faded when you saw how others, even your family, reacted. They said it was a curse from hell. You were barely convinced otherwise.

You sat away from others at the school during free periods. During lunch you sat alone and in the sun when you could, you hoped it might make others be less scared of you as it might make you look brighter but your shadow, dark and ominous, maintained a spot near you. You wore clothes that made you look more approachable to try to maintain that you weren't scary. Your brightly colored outfit didn't ever seem to work though, no matter how hard you tried.

You looked down at the food in your hands, the sandwich only half-eaten, and you noted your hands. They were so normal looking, your nails were well kept and you thought they were a good size. That they might even be a good size for someone to hold. The only thing was the unnaturally colored dust that seemed to cover them. It was a cool black, it glistened and sparkled in the sun when your fingers moved. It never moved or transferred to anything else, always stuck securely to your skin. You were distracted by the way your fingers seemed to shine when a shadow came near yours, wings outlined in it. You looked up to see a tall blond boy above you with curly hair and bags under his eyes. He nodded to a spot on the grass near you.

"Do you mind if I sit here?"

You shook your head and even scooted away from the spot to give him more space despite the fact that you were in a large field.

"Do you want me to move?" You asked gently, wondering if maybe he wanted this particular spot and you took it from him unknowingly.

"I mean, I think that would sort of take away the whole point of me trying to sit with you." He smirked and you felt blood rush to your cheeks. "I like your hands" He hummed and you looked at him in shock. When his eyes met yours you tilted your head a bit.

"They don't bother you?" You tried to speak softly.

"No, I think they're awesome. They make you look punk." He smiled and you felt the corners of your mouth tug up a bit too.

"I like your wings." You almost mumbled as you allowed your gaze to move to the large feathery wings behind him. They moved in the wind and you found yourself wanting to run your fingers through them. "They make you look like an angel." You smiled and he groaned dramatically.

"I'm trying to look grunge." He pouted and you giggled a bit. At the sound, he looked up at you and blushed a bit. "Maybe we should trade."

"If I could trade you I would. Everyone is scared of how I look." You gazed back at the grass.

"I'm not." His simple statement made butterflies erupt in your stomach and you smiled a bit. You looked back at him and made eye contact for a moment.

"What's your name?" You asked and he maintained his gaze into your eyes. It was the most contact or conversation with someone else you'd had in a long time.

"I'm Warren." He smiled a bit and stuck a hand out to you to shake. You looked at his hand in shock. Nobody ever voluntarily touched your hands. Most of them worried that whatever was on them would spread. You hesitantly brought your hand to his, purposefully giving him plenty of time to remove his hand if he felt uncomfortable. But he didn't. Instead, your hand reached his and he shook it before letting go as if it was no big deal.

"I'm Y/N." You smiled a bit more and you felt a giggle come out of you from the joy of realizing this wasn't a dream, that someone was trying to talk to you and they weren't afraid.

"Is my name that funny?" He teased.

"No, I just-" you paused to think, "it's been so long since anyone has done this with me."

"Talked to you?" He questioned, obviously expecting you to say no and explain what you meant. Instead, you just nodded and his heart clenched for a moment. "Well, you can stick with me then."

"I don't know if you want your reputation to take a hit like that."

"My reputation is 'the angry and damaged kid', I'm sure it can handle the breaking news of me talking to a nice and pretty girl." He reassured before he even realized what he was saying. You could have cried at the feeling that rose up in your chest.

After that day, you stuck to his side like glue and he took no issue with it. The more you got to know him the more you appreciated the fact that he had taken you in. With his help, over the coming months, he helped you develop a stable friend group. That group included people like Ororo and Jane who had heard rumors about you and never bothered to check and see if they were real. They apologized profusely, especially Jean as she felt like she could have easily found out that you were kinder than she thought with her abilities but just had never done so, and you gladly accepted, just happy to be within a group.

You and Warren had developed a reputation. He was overly protective and gruff while you were overly nice and empathetic. You balanced each other well and if you were honest, you were in love with him. That always felt weird to say, you'd never been in love with anyone before but every second you spent with him made you more and more sure of your feelings.

When you and Warren were together, you would daydream about what it would be like to be in a relationship with him. Being held by him and wrapped in his wings. Getting to play with his unkempt hair. Holding his hand.

Sometimes he would try to encourage you to hold his hand. He would hold it out to you when he was helping you jump down from somewhere high. He would ask you to hand him things and then make decisive contact as he took it from you. He knew that it meant a lot to you, you practically gasped and blushed every time he did it. He had never met anyone so touch starved. He wanted to give you all the affection that you craved.

Unfortunately, Warren was rather oblivious, especially towards things like feelings and emotions. He had no clue that you had any interest in him, even though he hoped you did every day. If he wasn't so attached to your friendship, he might ask you out. Instead, he tried to maintain a friendly distance so he didn't cross any lines while also being as affectionate with you as he could be. You followed a similar path.

The person caught in the middle of this was poor Jean Gray. she had watched you pine over each other since you met and had heard every thought that went through both of your heads. She knew you would never complain or ask for help about anything so she liked to keep tabs on your thoughts every once in a while to make sure you were okay. Still, she tried her best to not listen very often or when you were thinking about anything very personal, she honestly did. But she was a romantic. All she wanted was for you two idiots to get together but you were both oblivious. She decided, probably 3 months into you becoming friends, that she had to do something about it.

She was sitting on your bed while you sat across your bedroom on your small couch. She fiddled with her thumbs while she tried to ignore your constant thoughts about Warren, his hands, his wings, his smile. She was exhausted. she took a small breath while she planned how she would try to say this to you.

"Do you want to know what I heard today?" She called and you looked up at her from the book you were pretending to read.

"Do you mean heard or 'heard'?" You laughed and she rolled her eyes.

"Either." Then she tilted her head. "Both."

"Yeah, I wanna know! What's it about?" You asked while leaning forward in your seat. Jean always had the best gossip to tell because she could literally hear it.

"Warren." She stated simply and watched your reaction. You flushed and stopped breathing for a moment.

"Wha-" you stuttered, "what about him?"

"That he has a thing for you." she winked and you flushed even more.

"You're lying." You assured, a questioning look on your face.

"I'm not and I'm tired of watching you two longing after one another while the rest of the school watches." She smiled and your heart picked up.

"I thought I told you not to look in my head!" You scolded but you weren't actually all that upset. You knew that it was very hard for her to control.

"I cant help it! Both of you think so loud. And I wouldn't have to anyway, Ororo mentioned it to me the other day and she definitely cants read minds." She giggled and you smiled a bit.

"Does he actually like me?" You almost whispered in disbelief.

"Yes! He's been obsessed with you since you started talking."

"But like he would want to actually go-"

"Y/N, I swear to god. If you don't go and talk to him right now I'm going to have a fit." She laughed and you glared at her.

"Okay okay fine, I'm going," you grumbled as you stood and walked toward your door. "If you are wrong I'm gonna be so upset with you."

She just laughed again and you started to walk down the hallway. You thought he might be in his room or outside. You decided to check his room first.

You knocked on his door but you were met with silence. You tried the handle and it moved.

"Warren?" you paused, "I'm coming in," you warned and pushed the door open. When you looked inside, he wasn't there. You took a moment to gaze around his room, it wasn't the first time you had been in there but every time was a bit exciting as you got to see all of the things he had that represented him. He had a boombox and a CD collection on his dresser. Some of his clothes were thrown around his room haphazardly and some of his drawers were open. You looked at the wall next to you where he kept photos that you took. You would carry around a camera or take pictures on your phone of everyone around campus. He always asked for them and then printed them out so he could hang them up. He had even managed to get a couple of you. You smiled a bit before heading back into the hallway, closing the door behind you.

You instead moved towards the door to get out onto the lawn where you thought he would probably be. He often sat under the big oak trees or on the roof if he wanted to get away from people. When you made it outside, you looked around for him.

"Y/N!" you heard him shout. You turned to look for him and saw his silhouette flying from the roof. You paused to admire him and his wings. He always looked so angelic to you. So powerful. You thought about how your power emanated darkness. That you would never appear angelic to someone and would more likely look like a demon. You looked down at your hands for a second, a habit you had when you were thinking about your powers. They sparkled a bit in the sun but it did little to quell the distaste in your mouth.

Suddenly there was a shadow in front of you that was not part of the darkness that surrounded you.

"Y/N?" he asked gently. "Are you okay?" he tried not to startle you. Being empathetic wasn't something that came naturally to him, but he tried extra hard around you. he noticed the way you were staring at your hands. The growth of your shadow as you thought about your powers more. He moved to touch one of your hands but you flinched back a bit. He brought his hand back and looked at you with concern. "Whats wrong, angel?" He asked lightly and you looked up at the pet name. He had started calling you that soon after you became friends. You thought it was out of irony but he really was convinced that you were some sort of angel. He also loved the way that your eyes would light up when he said it. You stared at him for a moment in silence.

"Do I scare you?" You asked quietly and your voice shook. He looked surprised by your question and you were surprised too. You didn't know why you were suddenly getting emotional. Why this was now all you could think about. Why it had to come up now when you were trying to express your feelings for him. Instead of responding he reached out to your hand, holding onto it when you let him, despite flinching away slightly. He started to walk, leading you toward the same tree you had met under. Once you both reached it he sat down and looked up at you, waiting for you to sit down too. You did, maybe a bit farther away from him than you needed to be.

"Do you think you scare me?" he asked genuinely and you took a second to think, looking back down at your hands which were now pulled back into your lap.

"I scare me," you stated simply and paused.

"That's not what I asked."

"I don't know." You mumbled. "I think I freak everyone out. Including you I guess." Your voice was quieter than you meant it to be. you really hadn't thought about it in a little while. It had been on your mind plenty when you first started talking to him. You were extra conscious of not pushing him to be around you or near your shadow. You knew that he would move away if he needed to but you also had so many memories of everyone around you fearing you, running from you, telling you that you were a curse. Instead of responding he held his hand out in between the two of you, palm up. You knew that he was inviting you to take it but that he wouldn't push you to. Instead of taking it, you placed your hand near his on the ground and he left his next to yours, not trying to take it if you didn't want him to.

"You don't." He let out, sounding sure of himself and slightly pained. "You don't scare me." You looked at each other. He had tears in his eyes. He was never one to get emotional so you were surprised. "Do I scare you?" he questioned, already knowing your answer but trying to prove a point.

"Of course not." You sighed.

"You have a lot more reason to be afraid of me than I have to be afraid of you." he looked at your hand again. "I'm the one who has a rough history, I'm the one who is angry and has a reputation of being aggressive."

"But, Warren, your mutation is-"

"Mutation has nothing to do with it, Y/N." he sighed. "You have control over your abilities, I have control over mine. The only difference between us is our personalities and I have never had any reason to fear you or dislike you. You're the kindest person I know and everyone in your life who has let you think that there was something wrong with you was terrible. And that was on them."

Your hand reached for his and you laced your fingers together. He squeezed your hand and ran his thumb over the back of it.

"I love you." The words came out of your mouth faster than you could think and you sucked in a breath, almost hoping he didn't hear you. When you glanced up at him he had a gentle smile on his face. He brought the back of your hand up to his face and kissed it before placing it against his cheek.

"I love you too, Y/N" He reached out for your waist and pulled you toward his lap, giving you plenty of time to give him a sign that you were uncomfortable. Instead, you put your leg over his waist so you were straddling his thighs. You held one of his hands in between you and fiddled with his fingers, admiring how your hands contrasted with his. Somehow, him holding your hand made it seem less out of place. You almost felt pride.

You were suddenly surrounded by warmth and shadow, the sounds of the quad around you becoming muted. You looked up around you and his wings were wrapped around the two of you, closing you off into your own little world. You felt the urge to reach out to them but you had never asked. You had never seen him let anyone touch them and you didn't want to make him uncomfortable.

"Go ahead." your eyes snapped to his in shock.

"Warren, you never let any-"

"I want you to," he admitted and it was true. He had thought many times about asking you to run your fingers through his wings. He would never complain about it but they were a little high maintenance and also sensitive. He never let anyone touch them because most people weren't gentle or he didn't trust them. He knew though that you were the gentlest person on Earth and that he could count on you to be careful.

At his reassurance, you smiled a bit. You reached a hand out to the part of his wing next to his shoulder. You both gasped a bit when your fingers made contact. Warren was a bit surprised at how sensitive they were to your touch and it had been a long time since anyone but himself had touched them. You were entranced by how soft they were. The feathers were delicate and there were so many. You were very careful in how you moved your hand along his wing, looking at him often to see if he was uncomfortable. As you were carding your fingers through his feathers, one came out. You gasped slightly horrified that you had hurt him.

"Hey, it's okay!" he rushed out as he saw your panic. "They just sort of... shed sometimes." He almost seemed embarrassed. Feathers would come off occasionally and he would often have to brush through them himself to release all of the loose feathers, sort of like brushing your hair. He reached to pick up the feather and held it in front of you for you to take. You gladly did and you twirled it in your fingers. "Maybe sometime, if you wouldn't mind, of course, you could help me brush through them?" he asked quietly and you smiled.

"Yeah of course. They seem like they might be a lot of work." you were touched that he trusted you to do that and you thought about how hard it must be to take care of them by himself when they were so big and most of his wings were behind him.

"You should see what it's like to shower with them," he grumbled and then his eyes widened at what he had said. He hadn't meant it to be an innuendo but now he was worried he offended you. Instead, he looked into your eyes and you fell into a fit of giggles.

"I might have to take you up on that offer." Your gentle gaze made him blush. He had never felt this comfortable with anyone. This safe. He decided right then that he would do anything you ever asked of him.

After that day, you and Warren became the cutest couple at the school. You were opposites in multiple ways and your relationship was more wholesome than any of your friends could handle. You got more confident in yourself and your abilities and he allowed himself to be more vulnerable. everyone agreed that you were a match made in heaven.

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darkeunology · 3 years ago

Text

♡ Losing Love ♡

Pairing: Billy/Four x reader

Word Count: 1.6k +

Warnings: Spoilers for the film, mentions of Billy's 'death', mentions of suicide, mourning

Summary: You watched your boyfriend die 4 years ago, so why is he now standing in front of you being called 'Four'?

Not proof read

4 Years ago today was the day you lost Billy. You’d both been in the group together, spending your days robbing anything you could. It was Billy’s idea to go for the Kalahari, and when you were running from the cops, you watched him fall - you were already nearly on the other building, watching your friend grab the necklace that was hanging from his mouth, never reaching to grab his hand. You watched as the necklace slipped out of his mouth, a scream tumbling from your lips as you watched your boyfriend fall, the other’s having to drag you to the next building, forcing you to keep moving, forcing you to leave him behind.

You cried at his funeral, standing alongside his mum as you watched him get buried. The funeral was closed-casket, apparently the sight of his body was too gruesome to even have an open casket, the last time you saw his face was when you watched him fall, everytime you closed your eyes all you could see was the fear in his eyes as he held on for dear life, the memories of you two together only coming in afterwards, flooding your thoughts like a tsunami, an ocean you couldn’t control, you drowned in the memories of your love and there was no one to pull you out - for four years you’d been mourning, and you’d never stop loving him.

After Billy’s death, you left the group - you could never forgive her for not grabbing onto him, for only caring about the necklace instead of Billy’s life; you couldn’t keep robbing with them, you couldn’t keep being civil with them when he died for them and they didn’t seem to care.

However, you didn’t stay away from the life of crime, you tried to at first, the first few months after Billy’s death, you couldn’t bring yourself to do anything again, but then, you figured you had nothing else to lose - you stopped robbing physically and learnt how to hack, starting off with hacking some bank accounts, never taking anything, just seeing if you could do it. Then you started learning how to hack government systems, police systems, being able to find out everything they were doing. So, you joined a new team, one that would be sure to have each other’s backs, or, so you thought.

Many of the jobs you did in the group were spent in hotel rooms for you, you’d never be the one to take anything, you’d just be the guy in the chair, hacking into the security systems, making sure your girls didn’t get seen at all, make sure they didn’t get caught - and so far, you hadn’t been caught. Until tonight.

The hotel room was mostly silent, the only sounds coming from it were the sounds of your keyboard, occasionally your voice breaking through, making sure you were telling your team everything you were seeing, telling them whenever there was a guard nearby or something happening somewhere else. Everything had gone smoothly, the jewels you were aiming for had been stolen, you’d just finished working on deleting any evidence that you were in the building at all throughout the night.

“You’re good.” A voice spoke causing you to jump slightly, snatching the knife that was on your desk and throwing it towards the voice, “and good at throwing knives.” he chuckled as he walked forwards, allowing you to see him.

“Who the fuck are you and how the fuck did you get in here?” you asked, your voice wavering lightly. The only thought running through your head being the fact you thought you were going to die right now, the thought only increasing as the man aimed a gun at you. The panic you felt slowly dissipated as you realised, if you die, you’ll get to see Billy again, and maybe, just maybe you were okay with that - you were perfectly fine giving up your life to see the love of your life one more time.

You broke from your thoughts at the gunshot echoing through your room, cursing slightly under your breath, “You could do a lot of good with the skills you have, you know? Instead of using them simply to steal things. You could use them to topple governments, to change how the world works, to bring some good into the world, and I could help you do that, all I ask is that you need to die.” He spoke, lowering the gun, smirking lightly at your reaction to the shot.

“Die? What do you mean, die?” you asked dumbly, your brows furrowing in confusion.

He chuckled, “We’ve all done it. Everyone in the team, all faked our deaths, all considered dead to the world.” He paused, noticing your still confused expression, “we have to be dead, no traces of us on social media, no way to track us, no way to find us. It keeps us completely in the dark of the world, and means we never get caught.”

“So I have to fake my death?”

He nodded, “That’s what the gunshot was for.” he nodded towards the window that now had a bullet hole in it, “Suicide, we write a note, leave it somewhere for your family, and your body will never be found, simple as. If you say no, then you can just say it was a little accident when you check out.” he chuckled.

It was only a moment before you answered, your mind somehow already being made up “I’ll do it.” Part of you thinks that you said that because of Billy, maybe doing this would help you move on from him, would help you feel like you were doing the right thing in his memory, you figured he’d be happy that you were changing, instead of simply still wallowing in self pity from watching him die, but the other part of you knows you did it for yourself, you’d finally be able to do something good with your life, or at least supposedly, you could do something good with your life.

“Welcome to the team, Eight.”

One had explained everything to you on the plane, explained how everyone on the team goes by numbers for safety, he explained the last mission they did, revealing to you that they were behind the revolution in Turgistan, something you’d seen all over the news when it was happening. He explained everything about the team and what they did.

It was a few hours later when you were being lead through where they lived, glancing at the trailers that were scattered around, One leading you to an abandoned shell of a plane, explaining that this was the ‘haunted house’ it was where they did everything, where they planned every mission and where they met every member that joined, and that now, included you.

Six sets of eyes turned to you as you walked in, One still talking to you, explaining something you stopped listening to the moment you got a glance of those green eyes you knew so well, that person in question turning away from you the second he looked at you.

“Billy?” you whispered, your eyes already watering, tears threatening to spill over. The rest of the team watched, confused, all of them turning to Billy, One being the first one to speak.

“You know him?” One asked, confused, looking between you and Billy. The sigh that left Billy’s lips echoed around the plane,

“She’s my girlfriend. She was with me when I fell.” Billy spoke, turning once again to look at you, his own eyes filling with tears.

“You look exactly the same.” you whispered, walking closer to him, everyone still watching the two of you with wide eyes, shocked at what Billy had said. One never recruited anyone who knew each other, they were amazed that One never found out about your history with Billy.

“That was never in any of her history.” One explained at the confused looks the team were giving him.

“I erased everything about him when he died. It was too hard for me to see it all, too hard to relive it all, I started a new life.” you explained, walking closer to Billy, who was still sitting down, “Can I touch you? I’m not sure I believe it otherwise.” you whispered, quiet enough for only him to hear. Billy nodded as you kept walking closer, your hands coming up to rest on his cheeks, your thumbs wiping away the few tears that were falling from his eyes, your own tears running down your face. One of your hands moved to the back of his neck, playing with his hair as his hands came to the back of your thighs - you were standing in between his legs, close enough that his body warmth was emitting onto you, causing a shiver to run down your spine.

Billy moved his hands to your lower back, wrapping his arms around you as you wrapped yours around his neck, hugging his body close to yours. One of your hands stayed in his hair, your lips resting on top of his head, leaving gentle kisses. “Please don’t cry. We’re both here and we’re both fine.” he whispered, “I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry.” he kept whispering, repeating it like it was a mantra.

“I forgive you Billy. I could never be angry with you.” You pulled away slightly, tilting his head up so you could gently kiss him, the first time your lips had touched in four years, you’d almost forgotten how it had felt to kiss him, you forgot how gentle his lips were, how his hands would always wonder, gripping onto you so tightly like he was scared he was going to lose you again. “I love you Billy.” you whispered against his lips.

“I love you so much. I’m never leaving you again.” Billy whispered, his face buried in your neck.

Prompts taken from @creativepromptsforwriting

“You look exactly the same.”

“Can I touch you? I’m not sure I believe it otherwise”

“Please don’t cry. We’re both here and we’re both fine.”

#ben hardy #four #ben hardy imagine #ben hardy fluff #ben hardy x reader #ben hardy fanfic #ben hardy angst #billy imagine #four imagine #6 underground imagine #6 underground x reader

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witchlyboo · 3 years ago

Text

Definitely, maybe.

Part four: The one who loved you first.

Introduction. Part 1. Part 2. Part 3. Part 5.

Paring: Latina!reader x Logan Lerman x Tom Holland x Ben Hardy x Timothee Chalamet x Pedro Pascal x Michael B. Jordan

Warnings: Implied smut and mention of +18 content, angst??? language, misspellings, and me learning how to write properly. Spanish words, is that a warning?

Word count: 7k

a/n: All body type and skin tone friendly. You can also enjoy it as a no Hispanic reader. I'm a slow writer, what can I say? but I hate short chapters so you can take your time to read this and it'd be like different parts (?) all constructive feedback and misspellings correction is welcome as always. Thanks to everyone that pushes me to keep writing through messages and posts, this is especially for you.

“I don’t think you mentioned my dad yet.” Evan says jumping happily holding your hand. You told him not to bring it up outside the apartment but he’s too excited of hearing about your life and since he looks so happy, you let him win, you always do.

“What makes you think that?”

“It's not Logan because you never stay with your first love, everyone knows that. Ben isn’t like dad, he’s too... I don’t know, he sounds stupid.”You laugh and nod unwittingly, happy that you described the story well enough for your son to catch the essence of the characters.I don’t like Timothée and I don’t know much about Tom. I think you’re keeping him to the last moment to confuse me.”

“I’m not saying anything but people change, I changed, and the person your father was, is not who he is today. You have to be cautious with the details, young Padawan.” You argue caressing his hair softly.

“None of them sound like dad, I don't want them to be him.” He sounds sad for a brief moment, but get distracted by the sound of a dog so you don't worry that much.

“Have a child rocks your entire world, I used to be awake all night, drink a lot, I didn’t like kids, hung out with dangerous people, and I didn’t care for anything that wasn’t me” You start enlisting, not mentioning certain substances you don’t consume anymore... Except for special occasions. “The moment I got you in my arms I became better, and the only thing I cared about was you and I'm sure daddy feels the same.”

“I think you try to distract me because I found out your plan.” You groan audibly but don’t say anything else, he’s too smart for your own good and any other clue might be too revealing. “You kiss Timothée, Ben is outside the town, what happened with Tom?” You sigh not being sure if you are ready for all the stress that comes with this part of the story.

“Tom is one of those things that have to get worse before getting better.” Bad, terrible, horrible, devastating but better. Eventually.

Timothée’s hands slowly go up to your thighs until he finds the border of your underwear. Are you wearing nice panties? Omg, you wish you are, you remember having just two pairs of clean underwear, the black, small, thin fabric that’s not particularly nice but is ok to set the mood on and a white high rise brief with red hearts that you bought as a joke because you thought they looked like the ones the cartoons have, but you wore them and now you love how comfortable they are, that’s why you keep them for those days you feel especially emotional or when the perfectly normal ones are waiting to be washed. Like today, fuck.

“Wait!” You break the kiss and stop his cold hands under your skirt. He's always cold, chilly thin fingers that caress your skin like a cold shower on a summer day, you like it, something in the way you shiver every time he touches you is mystical. He looks at you with confused and urged olive eyes so adorable that you can't help but smile.

“What?” He says squeezing your thighs and giving you small kisses all around your jaw and blurring your mind in the process. You haven't slept together, yet, these daily twenty minutes make-out seasons are all you have of your frozen fantasy only existent in his trailer and nowhere else. A snow globe experience.

“I think we should stop.” You murmur leaning back a little to make him stop kissing you and to watch him, you're sitting astride over his legs on his makeup chair, you started doing his hair but something in between got you distracted and know he is half-dressed and half well... that'll take more than the five minutes you have before the call.

He stops his movements and straightens his back, you feel his grip on your legs ease off. “What’s wrong?” He asks taking his hands out of your skirt and hugging your waist. You know your request is confusing after you’ve been making out for the last twenty minutes, you locked the trailer’s door and unzipped his jeans but the idea of him seeing your ridiculously comfortable underwear is just unacceptable for the safety of your self-esteem.

“Nothing, is just that this trailer isn’t romantic at all.” That would have been a good excuse if this were the first time you get this intimate, but it’s not.

“You humped my leg on this exact chair two days ago and now this trailer isn’t romantic enough?” He asks with a mocked face and you just blush like an idiot. Since the first kiss you had everything changed completely, you passed from hating every cell of his existence to jump into his arms at every opportunity, touching, caressing, biting, and yes humping, all slowly increasing for the last days before shooting and college. You’re not proud of the way things came up but maldita sea, his lips are so damn good and there’s a gentleness on his movements that fix some of the scars of your dented spirit. “It’s ok if you don’t want to do it but don’t lie to me.” Another thing you discovered about Tim is his habit to take everything extremely personal and due to his background, you’re not surprised. He starts fixing his clothes and you find yourself stopping his movements with your hands, no one could tell since you don’t have a bulge to announce how much you want him as he does but you do.

“I don’t want you to see my... calzón” The word ‘panties’ doesn’t sound appropriate to that monstrosity.

“Your what?” He asks scratching in his poor Spanish until something connects, he couldn’t help but burst into laughs when he remembers the meaning. “Underwear? Now I MUST see it.” He tries to raise your skirt fighting with your hands not really pushing them away, just playing.

“I bought it because I thought it was funny, is not what I usually use, I swear, your head would explode just to see me in my regular undies.” You're obviously joking but something deep inside of you wants to believe it.

“Then, since is my first time I'm relieved that you're not using them” He carries you from his lap and sits you on the makeup table in front “May I?” He asks with his hands on your thighs, begging with his eyes for your permission to disturb your dignity, and you agree, obviously, there's not much left to protect anyway.

He lifts your skirt to see what you're hiding, you can see in his face he's fighting to not laugh and thanks for his incredible acting skills he manages not to but that doesn't fade the red of your cheeks “I love them” You whine and laugh in a mix of emotions while he kneels in front of you. “No, I'm serious, I think it's lovely, it's my new favourite piece of cloth you have worn, and you know I love that Powerpuff Girls jeans.” Now he laughs but it's not mockery, his laugh is as warm as his hands can't be “In fact, let me show you how much I like it.” He whispers while his face slowly gets in the middle of your legs.

↬☀︎︎

You have been drawing nonsense lines with your finger on Tom’s back for the last half hour, Contemporary Art is your least favourite subject, you love the concept but the class is absolutely horrendous, slow and you find it very pretentious to decide what is art and what’s not, that’s why you usually spend this class texting Tom, playing some notebook game, laughing and showing memes to each other. The only reason you survive to this class is that is one of the few you share with him since you study different careers.

People constantly ask you why you choose Arts and not Fashion Design as a degree, and the answer is as simple as ever: Commitment issues. Even when you know costume design is what you love to do the most, you're not sure if you want to do this for the rest of your life, you know you want but you're not sure if you will, and that's why you want to have all your choices on your hand.

Tom has been especially moody these last weeks, silent, absent, as if he has something inside that is slowly killing him but can’t tell, and feels like is killing you as well. He and Sheep are the only people you share everything with but she's busy with the new boyfriend and Tom ignores every intent of communication you have.

“Want to go to the apartment? I have a day off.” You tell him putting your things in your bag when the class ends, not that you actually wrote something. That's how your conversations with him have become, he shamelessly ignores you, you try to make a move and he cuts you right off.

“No, I have something.” There it is. He said so fast and without the courtesy of look at you.

“Really, what is it?” You ask not even trying to hide your annoyance, he seems to notice because his tone is softer the next time he speaks.

“I have to pick something for my mom and then send it to her, there’s a lot of traffic and it’ll probably take me the whole day.” He responds clearly lying, not sure where to look at and stuttering.

“I can go with you.” But you already know the answer before he says anything. He declines your offer, says something like a goodbye, and simply walks away.

“Don’t take it too personal, he’s been like that for a while, there’s this girl he got obsessed with and nothing else matters.” Your classmate interrupts your internal agony talking behind you. “I think she sneaks into his room because he's there all the time.”

“So he's not doing something for his mom?” You ask not truly believing what he says, Tom tells you everything, what he thinks and feels 24 hours per day, well, he used to until a few weeks ago. Why would it be different if he has a girlfriend? Unless she's a witch suckling his soul, time and doesn't want him to see you, but you don't think that's the case, Tom wouldn't do that to you... Right?

“Probably not, but you tell me, I thought you were close.” He ends with a mocking smile and gets out of the classroom leaving you with a bad taste in your mouth. Why does this random extra in the movie of your life knows about the mysterious girl and not you? This is a poor written script, it needs more secondary characters.

You see Tom walking outside the building through the window and an impulse pushes you to run after him, not sure why or how but you want to know if the girl thing is true, or if he’s into something deeper and darker. Is your responsibility to look after him as he has done for you since day one. Even if the cost is violating his privacy? Absolutely.

After a few minutes of chasing him at a prudent distance, he enters the dormitories building as the creepy guy from class said, but that doesn’t imply anything, doesn’t mean he’s lying to you. Your phone rings with Ben's face showing up on the screen, a sign from the universe to respect Tom’s decisions and go to your own place with a precious blonde man who promises to satisfy all your fantasies. Then why are you running after your best friend?

Tom’s door is half-closed, which means that he’s open to visits or is waiting for someone, something like it, you just lived in the dormitories for three weeks so you don’t fully understand the system, you just know that he’s not doing something for his mom. You try to see through the tiny crack of the door but you can’t see or hear anything, maybe you should wait at the end of the corridor in case his date comes, you just want to see her, make sure your friend is actually lying to you and then perhaps make a scandal, you haven’t decided yet.

“Look what the south wind brought, Miss Latin America!” Suddenly an annoying voice from behind interrupts you from your espionage mission, Ezra Spencer, the man that tried multiple times to take you out but doesn’t bother to remember which country you’re from. You jump at the sound of his voice and turn around to find his stupid face smiling at you.

“Hey!” You force a kind expression and start to walk away from Tom’s door but it’s too late, the British boy appears behind it clearly surprised to see you there and unnecessarily nervous.

“It’s been a long time since I saw you, I wanted to invite you to my calendar but no worries, you are still on time to be Miss November, sited on a pumpkin with a scarecrow costume…” He starts laughing and you make a disgusted face but you don’t have time to say what you’re thinking because Tom is softly pushing you into to his room holding your arm.

“She’s busy being sexualized by another mediocre photographer, fuck off Ezra.” Tom closes the door with you two inside, he even put the safety on, making clear to your mutual friend that he is not welcome.

There are painful seconds of silence, you hiding your hands in your sweatshirt and looking at your own feet. This wasn’t part of the plan and now you have to explain why you’re there after he told you he wouldn’t.

“What are you doing here?” He asks after what seems an eternity and clears his throat because his voice sounded too weak.

“I came to see Janice, his boyfriend wants me to make a wardrobe from a play he’s making.” Very solid and detailed lie, you’re proud of how fast you thought of that. “Why? I’m disturbing you? interrupting something?” You don’t know why you feel so hurt, the mere idea of Tom lying to slip away with some random girl gives you nausea.

“Interrupting?” He asks folding his arms, his body is trying to protect himself of something, of you. You can see he’s as troubled as you, even more.

“You seem mad that I’m here.” That’s true but you’re inside begging he denies everything and hugs you, your need for his touch is a disturbing surprise, he never touches you expecting to go further and the lack of that kind of attention makes you missing him harder.

“Don’t be ridiculous.” He murmurs and sits on his bed, he seems calmer now but dries the sweat of his hands on his thighs, he’s so easy to read to you and that’s why you are so worried, he can’t even see you in the eyes. “Fine, I don’t have to get anything for my mom, I wanted to be alone and I didn’t want to be rude, that’s all.”

“You’re lying, you been avoiding me for weeks, I know you visit Sheep when I’m not there, I know you turn around every time you see me at the corridors, I understand if you don’t want to be near me anymore or if there’s some girl that feels uncomfortable with us being so close” He looks at you with shock but you keep talking surprising the tears “But there’s nothing I hate more than lies.” You take a stress ball from his desk and press it a little “Let’s play the truth game, want you? I start, I actually came here to spy you” You throw the ball at him and he catches it with a confused face “Your turn.”

He stays still for a few seconds and then sighs. “There’s no some girl.” He assures and returns the ball to you, for some reason that answer calms you a little.

“I hate your old cologne, the new one is pretty good though” You raise your eyebrows but he doesn’t seem surprised, just chuckles when you threw the ball back.

“I changed it because Sheep told me you hated it.” He stands up and gives two steps to you, at that distance he could easily reach you but throws the ball anyway. You’re not sure how to take that confession.

“I hate how you’re treating me lately.” Your eyes water a little but not enough for him to notice, you return the ball and he catches without looking at it. “And I miss you.” You finish dancing a little over your feet to take the anxiety out.

He stays quiet again, but way longer than before, a dead silence that vibrates in your ears and makes you want to jump from the window, the way his eyes are desperate to tell you something but his mouth doesn’t is painful to watch. “There’s a girl.” He finally says, the game is over, the ball falls from his hand because you don’t care to catch it.

“I knew it” You claim and intend to walk away but he interrupts you giving a step in the direction you were about to go to, not sure if he has permission to touch you.

“But she doesn’t want me the way I do” That’s enough to stop you, and see the agony in kindest eyes that ever looked at you. “And I want her so much. Sometimes it can be almost too much. It can be so painful.” He gives another step and your heart is trying desperately to escape from your chest, you feel so little and fragile that it feels like a possibility. “And I only exist when she says my name.” He gives the final step, now the air between your bodies wouldn’t be enough to one breath, you're shaking and the number of emotions can’t let you decide what you’re actually feeling.

He closes his forehead with yours not fully touching, just enough to feel the warmth of his soul emanate from his body and enter in yours. “I only exist when you say my name.” He whispers clearing any doubt, he’s talking about you. He holds your cheek with one hand, touching you like never has ever before, that simple touch is more meaningful than any night or furtive moment you had shared with Ben or Tim. “Please say my name.”

“Thomas…” You don’t say his name, it is pumped out of your heart with the rest of the blood that keeps you alive, in a whisper, with the rest of the phrase missed on the course. You really wanted to say something, you must, your best friend is opening your heart to you and the only thing that appears in your mind is how grateful you are for always mask some gum after your classes so you can have good breath.

“Thank you” He answers finally breathing after your not sure how much, and you know it because his breath enters in your mouth before he kisses you, deeply, loving you with his lips, saying between kisses all you saw on his eyes before. Your hands find their path to his neck, the one you hold to stay standing and he hugs your waist firmly.

It wasn't a hungry kiss full of passion and bitten lips, he was showing you how much he means what he said, taking his time to savour the sweetness of your cherry gloss. You can feel him holding himself back for the way his fist clench in your sweatshirt and his breathing accelerate quickly.

Your phone rings again and as a reflect you slap his ear jumping in surprise, he grumbles in pain while you search your phone in your backpack just to see Ben's name again, something that absolutely sets off the mood. Mood? With Tom? That’s not possible.

“I forgot how strong you can be” He murmurs still rubbing his ear and you just realize what you were doing and the panic incarnate inside you like venom, so, clearly, you walk away like a scared rabbit. “No, wait! We need to talk.”

“I know, I just need some time” You reach the door and open it ready to disappear but he's already next to you holding your arm trying to stop you from leaving, you can see the panic in his eyes thinking that he screw up your friendship or any bond with you and you want to say something to calm him down but the words were stuck in your head not able to put together a coherent phrase “It's ok Tom, we'll talk about it tomorrow.”You give him a soft smile to show him that you're not mad at him.

“Why do you have to run away at any conflict sign?” Ouch, even when it's true you don't want to be questioned about your defence mechanisms when you are in the middle of one “Can you just...” Your phone rings again but with it in your hand, Tom can clearly see the name and picture of the sender. “You're leaving for him.” He says frowning severely and tighten up the grip in your arm, not enough to hurt you but it's disturbing.

“No, I'm going home, running away from conflict” But you hide and silence your phone anyway. Why are you feeling guilty? You don't owe him anything. Is clear that he doesn't believe you, especially when his hand in your arm doesn't loosen a bit. “Would you please let...”

“Fine, sorry. Fuck, you can leave, we’ll do this tomorrow.” He doesn’t seem too sure but he knows you so well to tell that keep pushing you is not leading anywhere.

↬☀︎︎

“What are you doing here?” Ben is waiting for you outside the apartments door, handsome as ever but with some kind of mournful robe over. You feel like you were being chased by your Christmas ghosts.

“You’re ignoring my messages and it’s New York, I thought you were dead” He gets closer to kiss your lips but you move your head and ends with a kiss on your cheek, you're not sure why you did it but kiss two different people in the same day, even in the same hour is overwhelming. “What's wrong Pinky Pie?”

“I didn't have a good day Ben, I want to take a shower and sleep before starting the mountain of homework I have, maybe in a few days when the dust settles...” The door opens when you turn the knob but your way inside is blocked by his arm in front of you and his proximity to your ear, in a common day, with your feet on the ground, that would've been enough to shrink your stomach but right now you're somewhere else. “That's your bad boy move? If you want to hit a wall please hit Merissa's, she’s a terrible neighbour.” You look at him with a mocking half-smile but you don't find the same. He looks… hurt?

“Why are you ignoring me?” He asks taking his arm off your way but not the rest of his body, he's barely taller than Tom... But you definitely shouldn't be comparing them in any way. “You don't answer my texts, don't get my calls, and is like the twentieth offer to hang out with me you decline.”

“Don't be ridiculous” You mumble entering the apartment and leaving the door open for him to do the same, there's no sign of Sheep or his importunate boyfriend being there so you don't have an excuse to pass that conversation to another day. “You know I have a million things to do, there's not any actual reason.”

“You've been like this since I told you the friends thing.” He affirms walking inside and closing behind him, is the first time you see him like that, serious, with a lack of funny presumption in the face.

“I'm not a teenage girl with a broken heart that's throwing a tantrum because his crush used her to have sex. I just really want to sleep.” And cry probably, with no special reason, who needs any?

“Broken heart?” He asks with a troubled look, actually worried about what he thinks is a confession.

“I said that I don't have it. Are you even listening?” You don't really understand what's happening with him. Why is he here anyway? Everything feels like a clouded dream, but you're fully dressed and all your teeth in your mouth, that's how you know you're awake.

“Then why even mention it?” You have the feeling of having this conversation for the second time. Someone complaining about the lack of attention and the other denying the obvious. The difference is that you’re not that close, you’re just one of his many friends.

“Because you’re freaking me out! We were supposed to keep this cool but you’re here acting like a jealous boyfriend.” You don’t really think that, you understand the betray feeling of being ignored, even when there’s nothing more than a friendship, but you’re not thinking clearly and maybe the idea of commitment would make him uncomfortable.

“What if I am? Whatever I said doesn’t mean I don’t want to be with you and I don’t care about your life. Fuck, you make me feel like I used you and now you’re doing some kind of revenge.” You know he appreciates you, he told you some of the most intimate things of his life and you did it too. Once you stayed awake all night talking about your favourite childhood movies, the age gap wasn’t an impediment for it since you like old movies as well and at the end of that call, your cheeks hurt thanks to how much you smiled. That was before the thing he said and Tim… and Tom.

“I'm not, but I can't just give my whole free time to someone that thinks of me as one of many.” That was surprising, frightening even. Until a few seconds ago you were sure you don't resent him for what he said but your mouth gesticulated words that didn't pass by the security station in your brain.

“Then there's a reason.” Apparently, it is, fuck. Jealousy isn't a common feeling in you, and to be honest, doesn't fit you, you don't want to enforce the concept of toxic Latinas who makes a scandal for minimum things. Is not jealousy, of that you're sure, but if that's so, then what is it?

“That's not what I meant” But you can't elaborate (not that you have much to say) because the door opens with Tom behind with a tough face and you just want to throw yourself out of the window (again). The last time those two were together was incredibly awkward, with all you know today, is a hundred times worse “Hey.” You say, you know, like an idiot.

“Hey.” He simply responds but is not looking at you, a battle of green and brown eyes is taking place in your kitchen, Ben doesn't seem to appreciate have his only time with you in weeks being interrupted, Tom can see that and takes his time to walk to you and whispers softly in your ear before leaving. “I'll wait in your room.”

“I guess your homework just arrived.” The blonde male in front of you has a tense jaw, and something in the way he's clenching his fist makes you give a step back.

“We have some unfinished issues that apparently can't wait until I've had some rest.” You explain like it means something for him.

“So do we” He says just standing there with wounded animal eyes that threaten to break your heart, that's why you look down at the ground with a growing feeling of guilt. “But I don't want to do it like this” He walks to you slowly, hunting, with a deadly seriousness that'd be scaring if he weren't that pretty. When he's a couple inches from your face you see him smile again, with the scent of tobacco filling your senses. “I get it, I wouldn't want to kiss you either if a just fucked another girl” You want to explain yourself, defend the honor you're suddenly so worried of but he doesn't give you space or time to do it. He kisses your cheek and hurries his way out the door. “You better answer my next call.”

What is that supposed to mean? But he's already gone so you decide it is problem of the future you, the one that is smarter, more mature, and luckily takes better decisions. You look at your dom room and take your time to go for it, yes, you were the one that wanted to talk about this but because you thought it was a jealous girlfriend thing. If you had the information you have right now, you wouldn't be so afraid to open your own door.

He is sitting in your bed but he's not as worried as before, there's some mix of resignation and confidence in his eyes, someone that can't lose something never had. You close the door and he throws a sock to you, a clean one, at least.

“Truth game 2.0, I ask something, throw the sock, you answer, ask something and throw it back. Are you dating Iván Drago?” He asks comparing Ben with that character from Rocky lV, and you laugh like it is another day of fun between you both, however, you take your time to think.

“No” You hear him breathe again and when you return the gaze to him, he's smiling at you. There's a lot of things you want to ask but not know how, or you do but you feel like it's another mission from your future you. “Would you stop talking to me if I was?”

“No” He answers immediately, not even thinking but the smiles fade away “But I don't think I could survive it again. You have to throw the sock.” He announces avoiding elaborate on his answer, it's obvious he's talking about Logan.

“That wasn't my question” cheater, you hear him mumble but doesn't do anything about it. “Why were you avoiding me?”

He sighs, catches the sock, and plays with it to kill some time.

“The day I was going to ask you out on a date you introduce me as your best friend to the lovely med student with a nice car. I know how the best friend role goes, I've done it a million times and was ok with it but I can't do this again. Not with you” Those words were meaningless to you, inside your irritation there's no space for an acceptable explication for his behaviour but you don't interrupt him.”A year later and you were free, sad, moody, and with no energy enough to exist but you still were my girl, I mean, the same as before. And I thought that if I give you enough time to take him out of your mind then it'd be a good moment for us, but again I waited too much and you found someone who spend time with” He is trying to find the correct words to not disturb you in any way. “But now I'm glad you did it because you're not sad and you have that shine in your eyes back. I'll always want the best for you, even when that's not me.”

“Answer the question” You insist again throwing an empty can of Diet Coke to his head, but he catches it before it hits him.

“I thought that if I was away from you long enough you could stop thinking of me as a brother and more as a...” But he doesn't finish his sentence, and you're sure is because he doesn't know how.

“A selfish asshole?” You are not sure how to act right now, how to be a proper human again, this is something you definitely didn't expect, and if he's saying the truth and he wanted to date you since you dated Logan, it's been a long journey. But you can't be that blind, can you?

“A friend! Someone that you don't feel that strange to date.”

“That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard.” You claim walking around the room with folded arms, it actually got sense but is mean. If hurt you to have what he wants from you is a price he's willing to pay then you don't know him as you think you did.

“Is it? because I'm sure that before the space I gave you, you would punch me to death if I dare to kiss you.” Not that tragic but now you can’t think what you would do because all the situation is different, you miss him too much but you're not sure if this is the way you want things to happen, and the truth is you don't love him that way.

“It was cruel and evil, you can't force me to miss you to take advantage of that and come back as the men of my dreams. Cabrón engreído, no puedo creer que me hagas esto” At some point of your long walk around the room he corners you with your back on the closet and he in front, he was so smooth and slow that you didn't notice until he talks again.

“Is a very bad moment to tell you that it really turns me on when you speak Spanish?” You punch him on the shoulder and even when you see in his face that it hurt, he doesn't move away. “I know it wasn't the best plan ever but please. Do you have an idea of how hard it was for me to see you with them? Your new Ken is bearable but Logan was torture, the way you looked at him, how your entire body language changed when he appeared. I couldn't go through all that again, that would be the evil thing to do. At least I wanted to know if you are able to do all those things with me.” He holds your hands and joins his forehead with yours, and you allow it because you need his closeness too and you don't have the heart to push him away.

“What if I can't?” You murmur in a delicate sound you're not sure if he catches but you know he does, by the way his eyes close and his lips press. But after a long pause, he answers.

“Then I'll be your best friend again, ready to see you with all of those guys over and over” He opens his eyes again to see you, and something in them makes you know that he really means it “Even if it kills me.”

Now you regret to call him evil, he's not, is a fragile human with feelings that can be broken, like yours, and at the end of the day you can't keep doing what is correct for the rest of the world, you are the exact example of that, you have done it hundred times, no matter the cost. But he accepted to do it for you anyway, that takes a lot of love to have.

You wonder if someday you could feel something that strong.

“Now what?” You ask truly wondering, this is unknown territory, usually when someone likes you, you know what to do, if is reciprocate, you can kiss, fuck or whatever the terms are, and if is not, you kindly decline the offer, you’re not the kind to give false hopes.

This is not reciprocated; it didn’t take you much time to realize that. But there’s something in the way he looks at you that remains you of another feeling, one that you believed was faded away. Being loved. Is it too bad to be loved without love back? Is it too horrible to just accept without giving? The warm touch of his hand traveling along your arm to your cheek sotfed you and for a little moment, you feel you deserve it. You know you don’t.

“I'm not sure, I've only had you this close in my dreams” You try to fight but you finally smile, a gesture he imitates, and suddenly the situation seem less tragic, more natural, like the eclipses the ancestors thought were the end of the world, but knowing of its existence, it’is even beautiful.

“And what do you do then when you have me like this?” Look at you, flirting already. You're going to regret this tomorrow on Monday when Timothée tells you how much he missed you or when you answer Ben's call to listen to all the dirty things he wants to do to you, but you like that, right? You're an attention eager, that's why you broke up with Logan because it wasn't enough for the rest of your life. Wow, is it sexist to slut-shame yourself? Stop it, you're enjoying yourself, there's nothing wrong with it, you don't hurt anybody... yet.

A glimpse of light appears in his eyes but you can't tell what kind because he cuts the space between you both in a kiss more intimate and passionate than the first one. His hands are full of you, one holding your wrist firmly against his and the other traveling around your back, not sure what to do with all the freedom you gave him, his caresses are clumsy and awkward, lost like a dog that finally catches his tail, what's the next step? He finds his path when he takes the back of your neck and pushes backward slowly to discover your bare skin, that's the place where his lips start the fire, one that starts where his kisses touch and spreads to the rest of your body, is like he knows the exact positions of your sweet spots, like if he had studied and planned it multiple times until he prepared the perfect routine.

His free hand finds your leg and puts it on his hip, beating the record of how close you have been for the third time this day. You can feel his bulge, although that's a very vague way to say it, his state is dangerously hard and you can only be there at the moment, a clay dough being sculped by his prodigious hands.

His breathing is heavy, and the speed of his heart is bumping violently against your chest, you can tell how much he wanted this, how desperate he is for your closeness, you didn't need any other proof to that but he gave it to you when a heavy groan escaped from his throat and his whole body tensed for two different reasons. Did he just...?

He hurries to go to the other side of the room looking at the window with his hand holding himself to the wall. You should say something, something comforting. It's ok, that happens all the time. No, that sounds slutty. I didn't know this was a race, but you won! Haha, no, but you mentally high five for that. He's standing there trying to get his regular breathing back, and for the tension of his back you can tell he's mentally struggling too. Say something, it's been twenty long and grievous seconds, say something, say something, please say something, anything, a word, a cow sound. And then, your phone rings again. Thank God!

“Sorry, I need to take this, is my boss” Which is true but at this moment even an unknown number would be an important and unmissable call. You get out of the room and hurry to hide in the bathroom, where you can finally breathe again “Hey, Mr. Chalamet.” You say when answering not sure why, and now you feel stupid, being formal after the way he ate you out this morning is senseless.

“Are we playing Mr. and Mrs. now? I like it, I thought that the whole señorita thing is so burned out already. But I'd like Papi, oh God, can you call me Papi right now?” What's going on? Why can't you have five minutes with a normal and casual conversation with a male specimen?

“Ummm, this isn't a good moment, Tim. Can I call you later?” Or not, that's also a good option.

“Right, no, I want you to come to a party with me, is to celebrate the end of the shooting, an exclusive actor thing. I thought you would like to meet some people from the media and maybe slip away a couple minutes with me in the middle.” He sounds really excited like this isn't something he does every weekend of his life and some of that thrill sticks to you, it actually sounds tempting.

“Can I bring a friend?” You immediately think about Beth and how much she would love to go with you, and maybe you wouldn't feel completely out of place.

“No, sorry, pretty bunny, it's a really private thing, I'll get in trouble just taking you there. But what do you say? Tomorrow at 10?” He doesn't sound sorry and you don't appreciate the nickname but you decide to go on anyway.

“Sure, I'll be ready.” You hear something about what to wear and stuff but you hung up before he finishes because you're worried Tom thinks you're there hiding from him, and even when that is unintentionally true, you really don't want him to feel bad.

But when you open the door, he's gone.

✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

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yournotsolocalcryptid · 4 years ago

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If you are still doing the dialogue prompts could I be super annoying and say that I couldn't decide which ones I liked so I picked out a couple for two different types of fic, I need you to choose for me 😂 12 “Could you ever be happy with me?” 17 “Why are you looking at me like that?” For maybe angsty Billy/Four 20 “Oh, fuck” / 21 “Did you just moan?” 52 “You love me and want to have my babies, I get it” For fluffy friends to lovers with Ben?

I couldn’t decide so I’m doing both. the other one has been already been posted here

Prompt list: 55 dialogue prompts

Prompt(s): 12. “Could you ever be happy with me?”, 17. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

Pairing(s): Billy/Four x GN!reader

Warnings: ANGST, mention/implied smut so 18+, fluffyish ending? maybe?, poor writing skills, poorly proofread and poor editing

Word count: 1.5k (I think this is the longest fic I've ever written?)

You had joined the team nearly a year ago and you’d been having the time of your life- or afterlife- ever since. You loved the team, Three made you laugh, two trained you in the gym, five and Seven were like siblings to you, One was like your grumpy yet funny uncle and Four… Four and you had a bit of a complicated relationship. He always seemed a bit distant, you’d see him laughing or chatting animatedly with some of the others and when you’d walk into the room he’d shut down or blatantly ignore you.

You two did have some good times, more than once you’d found him in the kitchen in the middle of the night with a beer and a snack (which incidentally was why you were there as well) and you guys would joke, laugh, tease and just generally have a grand time and then you’d end up bent over the kitchen counter while he slammed into you or with one of you on your knees making the other see stars. but the next day he’d be harsh, dismissive, or in full avoidance mode. You didn't expect him to be different or gentler with you as the sex was never romantic, it was always rough (and mindblowing), you didn't expect a fucking proposal or anything but his hostility irritated you, it made you so angry, but mostly, it just made you so fucking sad and you weren’t quite sure why.

You had no reason to be sad, you had no reason to be hurt by his actions you told yourself repeatedly but... he was so charming and funny and endearing, and that first kiss… you swore it started soft and sweet before it turned rough and sloppy but maybe you just imagined it. Maybe you just wanted to believe he was able to be soft and vulnerable. Either way, you had no reason to be sad so why was there a lump in your throat every time you thought about him?

So you would push down the sadness and act on your anger. You would avoid him harder than he was avoiding you, you would shoot him quick dirty looks and glares when you had to be in a room together and you’d work out harder than you usually did until you’d ultimately end up, once again cuming around his dick while he said the filthiest things in your ear. After the most recent night in the kitchen and Four hadn’t avoided you he just glared and pretend you weren’t there which was almost worse.

Now you were in the gym, beating the shit out of a punching bag, brows furrowed as you fumed about Four. you’d been there what must’ve been about an hour when the door opened and Four walked in. He froze for a moment in the doorway when he saw you, then continued to the other side of the room where he set his things down and wrapped his hands. Then he walked over to the bag next to yours and started punching. This made you angrier. You started punching and kicking the bag harder and harder until you exploded

“What the hell is wrong with you?” you yelled at him “genuinely what the fuck is wrong with you? Your distant, you’re nice, you fuck me, you hate me, you fuck me, you hate me, we get along, we fuck, you hate me! It’s the same fucking thing over and over again! And it’s fucking exhausting!”

Four had at this point, stopped boxing and was staring at you with a look you couldn't place.

“I don't know if you’re worried I’ll get attached if you’re nice to me after we fuck” you were no longer yelling but your voice was still harsh “or maybe you genuinely hate me and you’re only pretending to be nice to me so you can get laid” but even as you said it you knew that wasn’t the truth, you knew he was better than that “and after you’ve gotten what you wanted you can’t pretend any more but... this shit is exhausting” you tone had shifted again. The shouting had turned to a general accusatory harshness which had turned to a quiet voice cracked with emotion. “...I’m just so tired” and with that you turned and left, leaving the few things you’d brought down with you as Four just stood there, frozen.

You made your way to your room and took a shower, all the while willing yourself not to cry because, as you told yourself, you were angry, not sad. So there’s no reason to cry… right? After your shower, you immediately got into bed, wet hair and all, where you just stared numbly until you dozed off.

You were woken a few hours later, by the sound of your door being opened. You rubbed your eyes and sat up to see four standing in your doorway, his figure lightly illuminated by the lights in the hall.

“What do you want?” you asked wearily

He opened his mouth a few times as tho trying to figure out what to say but nothing came out.

You were watching closely trying to read his expression but you count even begin to know what he was thinking or feeling.

“Four?” you pushed

Still nothing.

“Billy?” you prodded quietly “what are you doing here?”

He said nothing. He just looked at you with such intensity but you still couldn't put your finger on what was going on in his head.

“Billy, Why are you looking at me like that?”

A a long beat of silence and then:

“Could you ever be happy with me?”

“What? I-” but you stopped at the look on his face. It had shifted ever so slightly and now it was as if you could read every thought and every emotion and it made the numbness you had forced yourself to feel fade away. It made you want to cry. You’d never seen him look this vulnerable. His eyes were wide and sad and scared, his lips were trembling slightly and his body language was hunched and fidgety. Memories of your first kiss, of the laughter and bonding you’d experienced with him all those nights in the kitchen, of the sex, swirled in your brain as you sat in your bed then, You stood, reached out, took his hand in yours and pulled him to you, engulfing him in a tight embrace. He was stiff in your arms unsure of what to do but desperate to give in and melt into your touch.

“Of course I could be. I would be” you said softly your lips just barely brushing his skin as you spoke and Billy finally gave in. His arms clutched you closer and you could feel him let out a big breath that neither of you had noticed he was holding.

“Then why aren’t we together?” he whispered into your shoulder, his voice cracking slightly “why did I push you away?”

That knocked the wind out of you. You opened your mouth to speak but nothing came out. Why did he sound so broken? Why did that question shatter your heart into a million little pieces? A tear finally slipped down your cheek.

“I-” you started “I don't know”

Billy pulled his face from your neck and looked into your eyes. One of his hands shifted to cradle your head and after a moment of silence he asked “can I kiss you?” he’d said it so quietly you could barely hear it. It was as tho he didn't want you to, as though he feared you’d say no or laugh in his face if you heard him. But you just nodded

His head dipped to meet yours in what was the most melancholy kiss either of you had ever experienced. Your arms shifted around his neck and his hands drifted to your waist as the kiss deepened. Both you and he were lost in each other, from the minute your lips met. When you broke apart his forehead rested on yours and you both just stood there in silence, both afraid to ruin the moment and neither sure of what to say or do next. This was completely uncharted territory for you both. After a while, you gave him a quick sweet kiss, pulled out of his arms, climbed back into bed, and looked at him expectantly.

“Well?” you asked

“Well… what?”

“You coming?”

“what?” he was so unsure of himself within this moment that nothing was making sense.

You rolled your eyed at his cluelessness and reached out to him with grabby hands

“Oh.. yeah” he climbed into bed with you and You both fidgeted and shifted until you were comfortable in each others arms.

After a few minutes of silence, you said “Billy?”

He hummed in response

“If you ever treat me like that, if you ever hurt me like that again, I’m gone”

He placed a kiss on your forehead and said “as you should be”

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