#being with him cancels out all my symptoms

[milkwands]

had a dream abt him last night

[space-cowgirllll]

Die With A Smile

Outbreak Day with ex-girlfriend Abby?

a/n: idk what lady gaga and bruno put in this song fr. I should have been studying for an Ochem exam but here we are lol.

"Government officials met today to discuss the recent spikes in hospitalizations all across the globe over the past week, with talks of setting up government run quarantine zones in all major cities." 

You perk up from your spot on the couch, trading the carton of ice cream in your hands for the TV remote. The local newswoman's voice fills the quiet space as the volume increases. You immediately recognize the hospital in the background. 

"Hospital staff everywhere are overwhelmed with the influx of patients coming in with symptoms of this mysterious virus. For the time being it is highly recommended that any travel plans be postponed. International flights have started being cancelled, leaving hundred of people stranded. The CDC advises everyone to remain calm  and continue to follow your city's imposed emergency curfews as they work towards finding the cause." 

The face-mask you'd slathered on earlier hardens as she lists off the symptoms to look out for: sudden mood changes, muscle spasms, and slurred speech. You can't wrap your mind around a simple virus causing all this. Your stomach sinks in realization, this is definitely more serious than anybody was letting on. 

Without even thinking you reach for your phone, quickly scrolling through your contact list until you land on the one person you've been avoiding. Abby, your ex girlfriend of six months. Your finger hovers over her number, wondering if this was worth breaking three months of no contact when loud screams come from the television. You look up just in time to see the blast of an explosion before the screen goes blank. Static stares back you. 

Your finger mashes down on the touchscreen with zero hesitation as you run to the sink, hands desperately scrubbing at your face while you wait for her to answer. You don't even stop to consider you might be blocked. 

Please pick up, please pick up, please.

"Hello?" Abby's panicked voice sounds through the phone. 

"Oh my god Abs. Are you okay?" You ramble. "I just saw the news and I- there was an explosion."

"I had to home to change. " Her voice is shaky, turn signal clicks faintly in the background. "I was still close enough to- OH MY GOD!" The sound of tires screeching drown out Abby's curses. A loud boom sounds off outside, this one feels closer. "I'm....to...you" Is the last thing you hear before the line goes dead.

You throw the phone across the room, a string of curses leaving your mouth. The open window of your living room lets you hear the chaos outside before you can see it. Helicopters fly overhead and sirens sound off in the near distance. One by one, porch lights come on as your neighbors step out of their homes, confusion etched on their faces.

The sound of a door slamming open catches everyone's attention. Out of the corner of your eye you see the outlines of two people moving towards the road. Your neighbor, Claire, yells as her husband chases after her. His movements far too quick and erratic for someone his age. 

Everyone watches in shock as he catches up to her, mouth attacking the side of her neck, effectively silencing her screams. The sight is gory. You stand frozen as some of the braver ones try to help, only to be met with a similar fate before he runs off into the middle of the road, searching for his next victim. Chaos quickly ensues, people run off back to their homes, garages pop open as some try to make a quick escape. You stagger back, knocking into the side table beside the couch. A picture frame falls over, shattering loudly on wood floor.

To your absolute horror, his head snaps to your window. For the first time, you're able to catch a glimpse of him up close. Gone was the sweet old man who would help you with yard work in those first few months after Abby moved out. The skin of his face is molted, almost as if something was eating away at it. Once sparkling blue eyes are completely glazed over. The bloodthirsty look on his face sends you reeling. 

His mouth parts open letting out a loud screech, ready to lunge through the thin window screen when a familiar black truck slams into him. Abby hops out, mouth moving quickly as she shouts something at you. Between the ringing in your ears and the loud screams outside you don't register what she says. Your eyes blink rapidly, hoping the sight of your elderly neighbor under her front tire is just your imagination. In your peripheral you see the front door swing open, Abby's keychain hanging from the lock. 

Strong hands grip you by the shoulders, shaking you out of your stupor. "Baby what are you doing? We have to go!"

Her woodsy scent envelopes you as she scoops you up and carries you out bridal style before tossing you in the passenger seat. Fingers clench into the leather as the truck reverses, disturbing the once perfect lawn. Your flowerbeds and mailbox becoming casualties in the process too. 

You peel your eyes off the dash, looking out the window as she flies through residential neighborhoods. More and more people are starting to trickle out from the safety of their homes. Some running with only the clothes on their backs, others quickly shoving personal belongings in their vehicles. 

Your voice is shaky when you finally speak up. "What's going on Abigail?"

She exhales heavily, looking exhausted. "I don't know."

"Are they all like that?" 

Her jaw clenches. "The ones I've been treating are in the early stages of their symptoms, but beds are full. We've been told to turn people away to recover at home." She huffs. "I don't even wanna know how many of them are out there running around like that."

You hesitantly rub her shoulder in an attempt to comfort her, slowly pulling back when she tenses. Her throat clears and the skin of her knuckles turns white as she tightens her grip on the wheel. 

"So what are we doing?"

You're shocked when she shrugs her shoulders. Abby always had a plan. You wrack your brain, trying to think of something. 

"My parent's cabin up north! We could go there." You suggest. "Y'know until everything settles down."

She makes a sharp right, following the signs pointing her to the nearest on ramp. Her fist slams against the wheel when you pull up to the main highway just five minutes later. It seems like everyone had the same idea. Cars are honking, people are screaming. Nobody is moving. The thought of sitting in bumper to bumper traffic right now doesn't sound like a smart idea.

"My apartment's in the city." Abby suddenly states. "They were setting up barricades when I left for work this morning. Flyers talking about a quarantine zone." 

She doesn't wait for your approval, sending the truck speeding towards her place. The closer you get to the city, the more erratic Abby's driving becomes. It's clear your little suburban bubble was late to the news of the outbreak. Downtown Seattle is absolute madness. Everywhere you look there's something happening. Those infected chase people up and down the streets, tackling the ones too slow to outrun them. Shops that you can remember being there your whole life are now ablaze. 

You grip onto the handle above your head watching wide eyed as Abby plows through debris in the street. Bile rises in your throat when you realize she most likely driving over the dead bodies left behind. 

The truck slows to a crawl. Concrete barricades were placed closer together here, making it impossible to get through. She silently curses at the fact that you're gonna have to leave the safety of the car and make the rest of the journey on foot. She grabs your face between her hand, forcing you to look her in the eye.

"Get ready to run baby." 

Your hand is on the handle when something crashes into your door. A scream gets caught in your throat as the infected bangs on the glass of your window before setting it's sights on the blonde. She's halfway out of the truck when she gets tackled to the ground. Her hands shoot out using all her strength to keep it from attacking her 

"Abby!"

She screams at you to run. Her arms are getting tired of holding this ridiculously strong freak back. Her hold is quickly slipping. Accepting her fate she screws her eyes shut bracing for the inevitable. A loud whack and she doesn't realize there's no longer any weight holding her down until your panicked voice is in her ear. 

"Holy fuck! Are you okay?"

You crouch beside her, a bloody metal pipe in your hands. Keeping a watchful eye on the body laying just inches from hers. She slaps your hand away, wincing when she gets up on her own. 

"Why would you do that?!" She whisper yells, unsure whether to kiss you for saving her or punching you for putting yourself in danger. "I told you to run!"

"I could never just leave you like that. You're welcome." You say through labored breaths. With a roll of her eyes she grabs your hand, sprinting in the direction of her building. 

You're thankful it's a short run from the car to her place. The two of you able to successfully hide from any other infected. It doesn't take long for either of you to realize that their vision sucks. 

The stairs up to her place are a feat of its own. You huff and puff up to the nineteenth floor, legs on fire when you finally walk through the door. 

Her apartment is spotless, because of course it is. Floor to ceiling windows give you a clear view of what seems to be the end of the world. 

"Oh my god." You stand in the middle of her room, watching in horror as explosions go off in my the distance. The ground beneath you shakes as they get closer and closer. 

Abby shakes her head in disbelief clearly putting two and two together. 

"It's so heavily populated here. They don't see the point in trying to separate the healthy from the infected." She whispers. Tears well in her eyes watching a plane purposefully fly into the ground off in the distance. The large blast setting fire to everything around it. There are more right behind it. "We're so fucked."

You watch as the fight leave her body. Your throat locks up, unable to scream at her. Wobbly legs pace back and forth in the small space trying to think of something that might work. Deep down you know it's pointless. There's no way you'd make it out of the city alive. Soft sobs wrack your body at the realization that this really is the end. 

Her shoulders slump as she sits on the bed. She gnaws on her lower lip to keep from crying too loud. "Can I hold you?" 

You nod, legs feeling like jelly. Abby reaches for you, pulling you up towards the headboard. The two of you lay beside each other breathing heavily with your hands intertwined. Tears stream down her face and onto the pillow under her head. 

She reaches over and kisses you, her shaking hand plays with the baby hairs on the nape of your neck. "My biggest regret was letting you go."

You watch face as she continues talking, lips moving against yours. "I had to stop myself from driving past the house every single day." She laughs. "Would have sat outside your door until you took me back."

"I wish you would have." You admit through a watery smile. 

"I never stopped loving you. I just want you to know that." She whispers, lips moving to kiss your temple. 

"I should have never left." Your lips meet the skin of neck tasting the salty tears that have pooled there. "I love you too Abby. So much it hurts." 

"I can't believe this is what it took for us to realize how stupid we were." She mumbles into your hair. Your face burrows into the crook of her neck. "I'm so sorry baby."

"I'm glad you came for me." You tell her, but you know she doesn't hear it. 

The walls start shaking, sending everything tumbling to the floor. You're no longer able to hear anything over the sound of a loud engine approaching. Her arms tighten around you, the two of you curl into each other. 

There's a jarring beeping in your ear just as it all goes black. 

You shoot up in bed, heart in your throat. The sound of your heavy breathing almost drowns out the harsh beeping of your alarm. Reaching over you rip the cord from the wall sitting in silence for a moment while your heartbeat returns to normal. 

The sun is shining outside, laughter from the kids across the street flows in through the small opening of your window. A lawnmower goes off in the distance.

Shaking hands fist the cool cotton of your sheets. The soft material grounding you. You look around the small room. Everything looks just as you left it. There's an empty bottle of wine on the dresser and you roll your  eyes at yourself. 

That explains it. 

You're okay. 

It was all a dream.

You jump out of bed, rushing to the bathroom before taking the stairs two at a time almost snapping an ankle. The entryway table shakes when you snatch the keys from on top of it. The warm August breeze that hits you when you walk outside makes you feel renewed. 

The quiet neighborhood looks as it always does. A couple of people are out watering their lawns while some head out for church. Claire sits on her front porch drinking a cup of coffee, giving you a little wave when she spots you pulling out of your driveway and it's a miracle you don't burst into tears. Using muscle memory you quickly punch in the number you know by heart, waiting with bated breath for an answer.  "Hello?"Your shoulders drop in relief at the sound of her voice. She's okay.

"Where are you?"

"At home," she pauses "why?"

"Perfect." You hang up before she can reply. Tossing the phone on the passenger seat you press your foot down on the gas. 

You make it to Abby's apartment building in record time, parking haphazardly by the curb. There's a ninety nine percent chance you'll come back to a parking ticket stuck to your windshield but you don't care. 

There's a moment on the elevator ride up to the nineteenth floor where you second guess yourself. Aware of how ridiculous you look in mix matched pajamas going to try and win your ex girlfriend back. You steel your nerves reminding yourself of how horrible those last few seconds of your nightmare were.  If she kicks you out you can at least say you tried. 

Abby answers the door looking mouth watering in a black tank top and gray shorts, her messy hair pulled back in a low bun. "Alright, how many traffic laws did you break on your way over here?"

"You don't wanna know." You pant, throwing yourself into her arms. 

She catches you with a soft grunt, hesitating for a second before wrapping her arms around you. The familiar scent of pine engulfs you.  

"Not that I'm not happy to see you, but what are you doing here?" Her teasing tone makes your face heat up. "I don't think random house visits on a Sunday at 8 AM fall under no contact." She quips. 

"I love you!" The words are out before you can stop yourself. "I love you and I don't want to go another day without letting you know that walking away from you was one of the hardest things I've ever done. I regret it every single day."

Abby leans back against the door with her hands still on your hips. There's a tiny grin on her face watching you spill your guts, you’re too worked up to notice. "I know we're both at the peak of our careers. I know we're busy, and there will be days we don't even get to see each other, but I'm tired of living like this. I miss you." 

You sniffle pathetically into her chest. "The world could end tomorrow and I don't want to regret never telling you how I felt." Thumbs wipe gently at your tears. "And if you don't feel the same way I underst- mmph!"

Her lips meet yours in a soft kiss, hands wandering under your shirt to caress the soft skin of your back. Neither of you make a move to deepen it, content to take it slow.

Abby pulls back first. Her eyes shine with unshed tears as she stares down at you. It suddenly hits you how much you've missed her. She brings her forehead to rest against yours. 

"Took you long enough baby."

[hana-no-seiiki]

STILL INTO YOU

yandere batfam x cat villain! reader (+extra!!)

synopsis: moments wherein the batfam n co. realize that after all this time they’re still into you

status: unedited.

[AUTHOR’S NOTE:] Super sorry for the lack of fics everyone!! Lately I found out that my DID symptoms have gotten worse and that I’ve experienced a full blackout (and possibly more, I just have no memory of it). So I’ve just been trying to recuperate my mental health for a while with art related stuff. Which, on the positive side of things, means that I’ll be releasing a Webtoon (pilot) around this July!! Hope to see you guys there during the release!!

Can’t count the years on one hand

That we’ve been together

I need the other one to hold you.

Make you feel, make you feel better.

You never realized how much Bruce knew you until you two sat down and had a meal together. Why? You might ask. Well, you were supposed to have a dinner date with Tim today at the manor, but he was unfortunately caught up on a case. You were about to cancel it, maybe cause some chaos in town and then chill with Jason as revenge for your bestie bailing — but Tim insisted you hung out with his father instead.

The pair knew it was the only way for you to (A) Behave and (B) not sleep with Jason for the nth time that week.

Gazing at all your favorite foods displayed upon the excessively extravagant and expensive table you realized that aside from the second youngest, Bruce knew you the most out of everyone in the Batfamily by virtue of his contingencies and overall time as the Batman while you were training to be Catwoman’s successor.

It was so odd, seeing him so calm and not so hostile when you were around. Eerie.

“I’m sorry.”

“Hm?”

“I always saw you as a threat. Treated you like one. But you were just a kid stuck in a situation you didn’t have a hand on. I’m truly sorry. For treating you that way.”

“. . . Isn’t it your job? No hard feelings really. I’d be creeped out if you treated me so nicely — not the food though this is very much welcomed.” You ranted as you stuck a fork into your steak, pointing it at Bruce’s face. Yet, as much as how you were failing to achieve proper etiquette he didn’t seem annoyed more so . . . surprised?

“I hope to see you have dinner here again next week.” His hands stretched to awkwardly pat your head.

“Depends, will I have more of Alfred’s steak again?”

It's not a walk in the park

To love each other.

But when our fingers interlock,

Can't deny, can't deny you're worth it.

Koriand’r wasn’t an idiot. She knew about Dick’s lingering feelings for you.

Perhaps she may be. Considering the fact that she still tried to be in a relationship with him even then.

“Shit. Kitty? Kitty! Wake up you hear me?!”

“. . . I’m. . .” You coughed, groaning at the pain it triggered all throughout your body “ . . . here . .”

You raised your hand, too weak to reach his face you settled with holding his own. Dick squeezed your intertwined hands with a pained expression , and an intimacy unfamiliar to the alien.

But that wasn’t what made Koriand’r finally understand how hopeless their relationship was.

It was the fear in his face. His pretty features morphed into one of horror.

Ah, even after all this time. Dick couldn’t live without you.

Cause after all this time I’m still into you.

I should be over all the butterflies

But i'm into you (I'm in to you)

And baby even on our worst nights

I'm into you (I'm into you)

Let em wonder how we got this far

Cause I don't really need to wonder at all

Yeah after all this time

I'm still into you

Jason spent many, many grueling years under the influence of the LoA. And not once did his body forget the feeling of you.

The butterflies, the heart wrenching pain of being apart from you, and the fleeting, venomous hatred you two shared.

After all, it was your name that escaped his lips the moment he awoke from the dead. Your face the first on his mind. Your voice that he longed to hear again.

He had plenty of time to prepare for this moment. Months? Maybe even years.

“Hey, cool helmet. You a Deadpool fan or . . ?”

But even then, your appearance still made him more nervous than confronting his family once more. More nervous than fighting the villain that ended his life.

“Yikes, awful cut you got there. Need me to patch you up buddy?”

You had grown. He had too, even if it was through some magic, deus ex machina water. Seeing the change in your features, how you shed your youthful look of naïvete and grew into a beautiful/handsome/pretty specimen almost made him break all his plans just to be with you again.

“I know that you’re shy and all but I need words.”

“Yeah.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll be here til the vigilantes show up.”

For his revenge’s sake he hopes that you’ll stay for longer.

Recount the night that I first

Met your mother

And on the drive back to my house

I told you that, I told you that I loved ya.

You felt the weight of the world

Fall off your shoulder

And to your favorite song

We sang along to the start of forever

It was one of those nights when you intruded on the Batfam’s nightly patrols. This time your victim was Damian. And strangely, no one else. He explained that the rest were taking a break.

Leaving out the fact that he poisoned them with some self engineered laxatives.

It was relatively calm until a heist suddenly started in one of the banks you wanted to pick off. Damn.

“Hey, I didn’t know you listened to [Favorite Artist(s)]” You eyes widened at the sound of the music playing the background as Joker’s men began to surround you and Robin.

“Just a casual listener. How did you meet my mother anyhow?” Damian sheathed his katana. Opting to take down his foes by hand to hand combat as he peeled his eyes and ears to listen to you.

Besides he could see that your eyes weren’t on him anyways, so there was no point in showing off.

. . . Not that he was doing that.

“Huh? Well, I know everyone really.”

“You didn’t answer my question.”

“What if I don’t want to?”

He sighed, bashing a poor guy’s face with his knees, his hands adding force with a pull — yikes. “I don’t know why I bother with you.”

“She hated me at first. Courtesy of Cat Woman and the Bat being together.” You turned to him, and he ducks.

“Then I lost someone really, really important to me. More than anything in this world. More than this world itself.” Your whip meets a goon behind him. Both of you hear a splat sound as the man falls to the floor. “And while everyone was calling me insane, when everything was breaking down around me. She was the only one who didn’t judge me for . . . the things that I did.”

“She supported me and was there for me no matter what.” You gaze at the blood on your weapon and cringe. “And then I realized your dad was an absolute bastard for leaving her behind. So I took up the mask again and made it my mission to make his life miserable."

"Even after the dinner?"

"Especially. Wanna bet on how long til he snaps?"

"Deal."

And after all this time I’m still into you.

I should be over all the butterflies

But i'm into you (I'm in to you)

And baby even on our worst nights

I'm into you (I'm into you)

Let em wonder how we got this far

Cause I don't really need to wonder at all

Yeah after all this time

I'm still into you

Some things just,

Some things just make sense

And one of those is you and I

Some things just,

Some things just make sense

And even after all this time

Tim honestly didn’t think he had it as bad as his brothers. Sure, he watched your every move and had extensive digital libraries on everything about you, but he did that for everyone. He was more rational; a man that clung unto his senses.

No it wasn’t his actions that made him realize how dangerously important you were to him, it was the way he felt doing so.

After an excessively arduous mission, the first thing he does as he gets back home is to open up his devices and get back to work. Surprise surprise, the stress wouldn’t go away. Not even when he stopped to play some games or catch up on Dungeon Meshi’s last episodes. And that always, always made him relax.

Anxious, his hands subconsciously guide him to that one folder.

Click Click

Dozens if not hundreds of holographic photos, videos and even fan art of you surrounded him.

Tim stares at a video he took when he first found out your identity.

Curling up into a ball with a blanket surrounding him, he slowly drifts off to sleep. Your voice lulling him into his overdue journey to dreamland.

Yeah, he was more rational than the rest. Yet, some things just made sense. Like you being the only thing in this world that manages to make his heart race and anxieties run away.

I'm into You

Baby not a day goes by that

I'm not into you

Jon was a bit dense. But even then he could see the signs of his best friend slowly losing himself to love and infatuation.

He would have been happy,

if it weren’t for the fact that he had a crush on you first.

Being the sweetheart he is, he backed off, respectful of Damian’s feelings (even if the latter wasn’t of his).

I should be over all the butterflies

But i'm into you (I'm in to you)

“Woah, you guys are done already?” Jon landed. As soon as he heard that he’d be able to fight alongside you after what felt like years (it was a couple of weeks), he flew all the way from Metropolis in record time.

If he knew what awaited him he probably wouldn’t have left at all.

“Yeah.” You gave him a thumbs up. Your head laid atop Damian’s lap as the domino masked vigilante ran his hands through your hair. His gloves off to his side.

“C-Cool.”

Jon cried himself to sleep that night.

Even after knowing of Damian’s feelings all this time, he could never stop his own.

And baby even on our worst nights

I'm into you (I'm into you)

Let em wonder how we got this far

Cause I don't really need to wonder at all

Yeah after all this time

I'm still into you

I'm still into you

I'm still into you

[ NEXT PART : NOBODY GETS ME ]

[sparkleofpizza]

The Alchemy

Lando Norris x fem!reader

Two idiots.

THE 2020 SEASON

WINTER BREAK London, England, 2020 

Formula 1 might be on a break, but university isn’t. I’ve been studying non stop and working all my free time to get extra credit so I’d be able to graduate early, right at the end of spring so I’d have the rest of the year more chilled out. 

But being a 21 year old college student, living alone at an apartment at a college campus meant trouble, obviously, and that’s how after long hours of studying at the library, instead of being in my bed catching up on some sleep, I was at a frat house party. 

The music was blaring and I was nursing my third drink of night, but in all honesty completely tired now that the alcohol had relaxed me. 

I was sitting on the couch, watching my friends dance around me. I grab my phone to get some pictures of them when I notice a new notification. 

Lando: what are u up to on a Friday night as a college student? 

Lando and I have been texting non stop since the end of the 2019 season, our friendship solidified. We even hung out a couple of times in between Christmas and new years. And now he has been bugging me that I’ve been working and studying too much. 

Me: I’m at a frat house party 

He instantly replied back. 

Lando: YOURE WHERE DOING WHAT 

Me: I’m at a frat house party 

I smirk to myself as I texted back the same question then before. 

Lando: no way, you’re messing with me 

I open the camera of my phone, scratching my arm out as I smile hazily before snapping a picture and sending it to him. 

Lando: OMG ARE U DRUNK???? 

Me: yessss 

I expected him to make fun of me, but his answer caught me a bit of guard. 

Lando: are u alone? 

Lando: who’s with u? 

Me: my friends are around here somewhere 

There a few minutes of silence from his since and I wonder if our conversation is over. He probably fell asleep. 

My phone buzzes again. 

Lando: how are u going home? 

Me: I’ll walk back to my apartment, why? 

He’s typing and typing and typing. I bite my lip anxiously, wondering what he’s going to say. Is he going to ask me to let him pick me up? Like in those romance books where the guy picks up the girl from a party when she’s drunk? 

Lando: ok 

My face falls momentarily. 

Lando: I’m not in London  

Lando: be careful and text me when you get home safe 

I smile, so he was considering picking me up. 

Melbourne, Australia, 2020 

The world was insane, and I was going insane with it. I was higenyzing my hand every time I touched something. I was in an alert state of the coronavirus. 

“They should have canceled the race.” I say, taking a seat with Lando, Carlos and Caco at the McLaren hospitality. “They are saying there are employees who got infected.”

I squeeze hand sanitizer on my hand, rubbing it. 

“You’re talking about as if it’s some kind of zombie apocalypse.” Lando chuckles, draping his arm casually over the back of my chair “Relax, they wouldn’t keep up the race if it wasn’t safe.” 

Carlos nods “Lando is right.” 

I scoff with a tense smile “Oh, but they would. FIA doesn’t care about it, they care about the money. They always have and always will.” 

The boys are silent for a moment before Caco nods his head. 

“Hamilton and Vettel said something similar during the press conference.” He says “And they’ve been around the same amount of time you have.” 

My phone rings and it’s Sophie calling. I quickly brings it to my ear, listening to what she has to say. My frown only deepens when she says two McLaren employees tested positive for covid and that there are more people around the paddock with symptoms as well. 

I hang up the phone. 

“The teams principals are gathering together to get FIA to cancel the race.” I tell them, watching as both drivers’ faces fall in disappointment “Two McLaren employees tested positive and there are other people around the paddock who are feeling ill as well.”

We gather our things and start to make our way to the McLaren garage, probably the news will get there first if the race is canceled. 

I hang back on the group and Lando slows his steps to walk beside me. 

“Can’t believe we just got back and we’re already going to leave and be without racing.” He groans, a whine voice a bit high pitched.

“It’s better for it to be canceled and you getting the chance to race again when it’s safer, then getting sick and ending up in the hospital.” 

He sighs, shoulders slumping slightly. 

“You’re right. I was just excited to give my all at this new season.” 

I smile “I know, and you will soon.” 

He smiles back at me, nudging me with his shoulder. 

“So, are you gonna be able to graduate this spring?” 

“I am! I mean, I’ve been doing everything possible for it to happen and I think it will.” 

Lando smiles and for a brief moment his fingers brush against mine in a sweet gesture. 

“That’s great. I’ll make sure to be there cheering for you at your graduation.” 

And my heart flutters at his words. 

PANDEMIC  London, England, 2020 

“Did I do it right? Are you listening to me?” I ask into the microphone I bought. 

Lando’s face show up on the screen of my computer, grinning widely. 

“Hiiii! Yes, you did. Now turn on your camera so I can see your face.” 

“How do I do it?” I ask, completely lost as I had never used the app discord before. “Oh, never mind, found it.” 

“Look at you!” Lando beamed “Are those bunny ears on your hoodie?” I chuckle as I put on the hoodie over my head so he can see the bunny ears “You look adorable! Doesn’t she look adorable, chat?” 

I tilt my head to the side, confused.

“Chat? What chat? It’s just the two of us here.” 

Lando laughed “I’m streaming, muppet.” 

“You’re what?!” I screech “Lando! Why didn’t you tell me we’d be live? I’m in my pijamas!” 

He laughs again “You still look adorable and the chat agrees with me.”

I huff, flustered at his words and at the fact that I’m live for god knows how many people while I’m wearing my bunny pajamas. If people didn’t take me serious before, they never will now. 

“Now, here’s what we’re going to do.” He claps his hand, a mischievous smile on his face “You’re going to play LOL with me.” 

“LOL? But I only know how to play the sims.” 

“Yes, you’re going to play LOL. I think it’s the easiest for now.” 

As I download the game and start to follow the tutorial, all while sharing my screen with Lando and him judging me at how I can manage to keep dying on the tutorial, I wonder how in the holy hell he managed to convince me to play online with him. 

Finally, after an eternity, I finish the tutorial and I start to play with him. Lando keeps instructing me because I don’t even know what buttons to press on my keyboard and he keeps screaming that I’m not running fast enough. 

“Oh my God!” I scream “I died! I died!” 

Lando laughs delighted. 

“My screen is black and white! Why is my screen black and white? Is my computer broken? LANDO!” 

That only makes him laugh harder, that infectious laugh of him as I keep yelling questions of what I should do next. 

My dad opens the door to my bedroom, peeking his head inside, looking concerned as he calls out my name. 

“Are you ok, sweetheart?” He asks, walking further into the room “I can hear you screaming from the living room.”

“Yeah, sorry dad. I’m playing online with Lando and I died.” 

My father chuckles, bending down slightly to look at my screen. He smiles at Lando while waving. 

“Hello, Lando. Have you been taking care of yourself while quarantining?” 

Lando smiles back as he nods “Yes, I have. Your daughter also texts me everyday reminding me what I can and can’t do. It’s like she thinks I will die because I’m living on my own.” 

My dad looks amused at me, but he knows I’m right and Lando would have probably set his house or fire by now if I haven’t been instructing him properly on certain things. 

My dad pats my head as he stands up straight again “I will leave you kids to it. Take care, Lando.” 

“Thank you, Jenson! You too!” Lando smiles. “Now, where were we?” 

Later that night, after four hours of online gaming with Lando, I lied in bed scrolling through my social medias. I couldn’t help to read the comments people were making about our live stream together. 

Jenson Button worried about Lando I CANT

OMG y/n checking up on Lando daily to make sure he survives 

So am I the only one who thinks there’s something there? 

She can’t suck on her dads fame anymore bc he’s retired so now she’s going after Norris 

I sigh, closing Twitter and putting my phone on the bedside table. People are mean. 

Spielberg, Austria, 2020 

July and we’re back at Formula 1. The season is being cut short, there won’t be fans attending, but we’re back at racing. 

I finished my finals a week ago, just in time to go back to traveling. My dad gave an hour-long lecture about safety and health before finally letting me board the plane. 

I haven’t seen Lando and Carlos yet, but I have met uncle Seb who is pissed off at Ferrari for firing him over the phone. I could tell for the way he was talking about meetings and stuff he has to do that he’s plotting something and I couldn’t help but smirk at whatever hell fire he will bring down on Mattia Binotto. 

I enter the McLaren garage and I smile underneath my mask as I see Lando talking to his engineer. He turns his head when he hears my footsteps. 

He basically bonces on his feet until he meets me halfway. 

“Hi!” He says loudly “It’s so good to finally see you in person again!” His eyes are wide “Can I hug you? I want to hug you. I know I probably shouldn’t, but I want to. I haven’t touched anyone in months and and…” 

I cut him off with a laugh as I wrap my arms around his middle, resting my head on his chest. Lando brings his arms around me, squeezing me onto his body. 

“Hi, Lando. I missed your energetic aura.” 

I feel his grin against my shoulder, even with half his face covered in a mask. 

“I missed you.” He says back. 

He detangles himself from he hug, but keep his hands on my shoulders. He analyzes my face. 

“You really do look good with bangs.” 

I chuckle, running my hands over the bangs I cut on my hair after a moment of reflection and desperation when I couldn’t leave the house. 

“Thank you. It was a moment of… insanity, but at least it looks good.” 

He laughs “Oh I know. You texted me like fifteen times saying you did something horrible and it was just bangs.” 

I shake my head “Hey, to be fair you called me at two in the morning to ask me how to kill a wasp and I had to wake up my dad to ask him.” 

Lando's eyes widened in mock sadness. 

“Hey, your dad loves me! I’m sure he was very very delighted to be woken up in the middle of the night to give out instructions on how to kill a wasp.” 

I snort out a laugh. 

Later that weekend, after the race was finished, I watched as Lando parked his car in p3. It was the first podium of his Formula 1 career. He had been screaming on the radio during the last five laps and I was grinning like an idiot behind my mask. 

He got out of the car, helmet still on as he ran to the team, letting them hug him and clap his back. The whole McLaren garage was in a frenzy of celebration. 

I’m waiting for him by the parc fermé, to guide him to the podium and then to the press conference room where they interview the winner, second and third place of the race. 

Lando takes off his helmet and balaclava and I see his whole face for the first time this year. He has a huge smile on his face as he runs to where I am. 

“My first podium!” He yells 

I smile “Congratulations, Lando. It was beautiful to watch.” 

He wraps his arms around me, jumping around and making me jump with him as I laugh. 

“My first podium! Oh fuck! I’m gonna get a trophy!” 

I giggle, letting him jump around with me “Yes, you are, Lando, you’re getting a trophy!” 

He then stop jumping and just gazed into my eyes, the smile never dropping out of his face. 

“Fuck, I’m so glad you’re the one here and not Sophie.” 

My heart leaps on my chest. 

“I’m glad I’m here, too.” 

Silverstone, England, 2020 

It was the Silverstone Grand Prix weekend, there were going to be two weekends of races here. My dad had decided to come along since this is his home race and he wants to relive some of the memories. 

I walk inside the McLaren hospitality with my dad who is babbling about my graduation to one of the mechanics that have been working here since his driving days. 

I hear someone yell my name and I know that voice very well. I turn around and there is Lando, no mask on his face, grinning widely. 

“Hey.” I smile back, walking to where he’s sitting 

He stands up fast and lifts his hands up, holding a beautiful bouquet of pink flowers. 

I gasp in surprise. 

“I couldn’t go to your graduation because the attendance was limited, but I couldn’t let it pass by.” He hands me the flowers before enveloping me in a hug “Congratulations, love. I’m very proud of you.” 

For some reason his words and sweet gestures make tears gather in my eyes. It’s probably because I was expecting my graduation to be a big even, full of people who I love and cherish and that didn’t happen because of the pandemic. 

“Thank you, Lan. This means a lot to me.” 

He squeezes me before letting me go. He wipes some of the tears that leaked out to my eyes. 

“I know this is a special moment and you wanted it to be a big celebration. We’ll go out to celebrate once things get better, alright? My treat.” 

I smile, hugging the flowers to my chest. 

“You’re the best, Lan.” 

He winked at me. 

“Only the best for my best girl.” 

My dad stood to the side, watching the scene with a smile on his face. I didn’t know that now, but he took pictures of all of that happening. 

Krasnodar Krai, Russia, 2020 

Carlos broke the news to the team two weeks ago during our weekly zoom calls. Lando had shut himself out the moment his best friend on the grid said he’s leaving McLaren to go to Ferrari. 

He hasn’t been answering my texts or sending me TikToks. He even declined my calls and I was growing not only worried, but annoyed as well. 

I knock on his hotel door late at night. My flight had landed an hour ago, I got to the hotel, showered and now here I am knocking on his door. 

Lando opens the door, his curly hair disheveled and he’s only in sweatpants. 

“You’re not room service.” He says 

I glare at him. 

“You’ve been ignoring me.” I accuse him, hands on my waist. 

“I uh… I’ve been busy…” he stretches the back of his neck “a lot of work.” 

“We work together, I know you haven’t been busy.” I glare even harder now “Stop lying to me.” 

He stepped to the side and let me inside his room. I walk past him, going to the middle of the room as I stand there with my arms crossed. Lando sits on the bed and looks at me. 

“What’s going on with you?” I ask 

“There’s nothing wrong with me.” He answered too quickly. 

“Lando… you’ve been ignoring me ever since Carlos told us that he’s leaving for Ferrari.” 

He grows quiet and looks away from me. 

I sigh. “Lando, just because he’s switching teams it does not mean he won’t be your friend anymore. It will be a bit different because you won’t be together all the time like the past two years, but he’s not gonna forget about you.” 

He nods. “I know. Carlos already told me all that.” 

“Then why have you been ignoring me?” I ask confused. I thought he was isolating because he was sad that Carlos is leaving, but if he’s already on good terms with it, than what’s wrong. 

“Because I’m preparing myself from when you leave me as well.” Lando says, he doesn’t look at me, his eyes trained on the carpet floor. 

“Wha- What?” I ask completely dumbfounded “What do you mean when I leave you as well?” 

He runs a hand through his hair “You’re an intern at the communication department and- and you just graduated from uni. I know you will leave me at the end of the year as well. You’ll move on to much bigger and better things. I’m just… trying to soften the blow of being without you.” 

There’s a moment of silence as I process his words. He still won’t look at me and I’m too stunned to speak anything. He’s sad because he doesn’t want to be without me. 

Finally, I snap out of it. 

“Oh Lando.” I whisper softly, kneeling in front of him and peering up at him. “Lando, no.” 

He shakes his head “I know, ok? I’m not dumb…” 

I cup his face in my hands to get him to stop talking. He looks at me in surprise and I can see the broken look in his eyes. 

“I’m not going anywhere.” 

“Please, don’t lie to me.” He whispered brokenly “Just rip the bandaid already.” 

“I’m not lying.” I say, catching a stray tear from his eye with my thumb and wiping it away. “McLaren hired me to be their junior PR manager. You would have known that if you haven’t been declining my calls, you muppet.” 

He widens his eyes. 

“You’re not leaving?” 

I shake my head “No. You’re stuck with me.” 

Lando breaths out a laugh, resting his forehead against mine as he closes his eyes. 

“Oh, thank god. I’m not ready to say goodbye.” 

I smile, enjoying our close proximity. 

“You don’t have to say goodbye. I’m not going anywhere.” 

“Good… good.” He mumbled. “I don’t want you to leave my side.” 

We stay like that for a few moments longer, before he helps me stand up from the floor. Lando pats the bed and I soon join him. We lay on opposite sides, he covers us up and we stay in silence, enjoining each other's company as we fall asleep. Right now we don’t need to say anything, everything is understood in the comfortable silence that hugs us. 

Abu Dhabi, Saudi Arabia, 2020

It was yet once again the last race of the season. 

Lando had a great finish in p5, and although he had a happy smile on his face we took team pictures and toasted, I could see he was sad. This was Carlos's last race as Lando’s teammate. And I could see Carlos was a bit sad as well. 

The team principals had gathered together and rented out a club in the city so the party would be just the Formula 1 team and drivers. We had been traveling together all year in the middle of the chaos of the pandemic, so we were all kind of in the same boat, if someone was sick, the odds of everyone else also being sick were extremely high. 

I watched from a far as Lewis celebrated his seventh championship. I chuckled as he, Valtteri and Toto started a shot competition between the three of them. Sebastian was chanting chug chug chug and waving his hands around. 

I feel the familiar presence of Lando standing beside me as he nurses his drink. 

“How was your second year as a Formula 1 employee?” He asks me. 

I smile against the rim of my glass. Just one year ago he had asked me the same question, at the rooftop of the VIP lounge at the paddock, hours before the last race of the season began. 

“It was weird. My last year as an intern, next year I will have to reinvent myself to be on top of my game.”

“You’re already on the top of your game.” He nudges my shoulder with his arm. 

“Yeah, but I still haven’t proved myself here.” I point out. 

Lando frowns, turning his body around to look at me. I’m leaning against the wall and now he’s looming over me. 

“Have you been getting hate online?” 

I give him a weak smile. 

“Let’s not talk about this right now. Tonight is about celebrating.”

He’s still frowning and opens his mouth to protest when I cut him off. 

“How was your second year as Formula 1 driver?”

He chuckles, probably recalling the same memory from last year. He rests his forearm on the wall right beside my head. 

“It was good and weird. I got my first podium ever. I also lost my first teammate…” Lando smiles a bit. “And I got you to be here with me one more year.”

I smile, raising my glass. 

“Here’s to another year of Norris and Button traveling around the world together.”

Lando grins, clinking his glass against mine. 

“Together.” He repeats. 

[h0neysp1ce]

Hii

Sorry if this is weird but please can I request some headcanons with Kaveh, Alhaitham and Diluc (Also if you don't write Diluc, Tighnari is good instead) where the Reader has extremely painful period cramps, like to the point where they need to vomit and can't move 🙏

Not at all! here you go 💚🫶

˚୨୧⋆｡˚  Summary: ↑ How does he take care of his s/o when they have very bad cramps?

Characters: Kaveh, Alhaitham, Diluc, Tighnari Tags: Established Relationship (all Separate) Fluff?? Constellation: Head canons Warning(s): Mentions of Period symptoms, nothing graphic reader can be read as gender neutral or Female (Had no clue which one to put so I put both) ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ 

A/N: I tried my best, apologies if Diluc's and Tighnari's Parts are shorter, and hopefully I went into enough detail as you asked , also I hope I titled it in the most un akward way possible, This was my first time writing something like this so I hope its not to bad ^^"

sorta Proof read (will edit later)

Word Count: 1243

｡ﾟ•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• ﾟ ｡ﾟ•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• ﾟ ｡ﾟ•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• ﾟ ｡ﾟ•┈｡ﾟ•┈꒰ა

Kαʋҽԋ 🎨

This man is worried about you the moment you start not feeling great.

There's no need to feel embarrassed or ashamed; he understands that this is something you go through.

It’s nothing new, really. You've been open with him about your cramps being bad, and he understands that.

The first time this happened, it freaked him out because he thought something was wrong with you until you told him what it was, and he calmed down.

Kaveh: "Alright, I'm back with the heating pad and snacks."

You: "Kaveh, aren’t you supposed to be out working with a client today?"

Kaveh: "Oh no, I canceled all my work for today. I’m not leaving you alone and unattended."

You: "KAVEH!!? No, don’t worry about me. You should worry about your work. I know it's stressful and—"

Kaveh: "No, you're more important right now. Please, let me take care of you."

If you end up getting sick, like feeling like you’re about to vomit at any moment, he’ll be there with you, holding your hair back if you're actively getting sick, rubbing circles into your back, and staying with you in the bathroom until you feel better and can get back to bed.

Knowing that you can’t move much in this state, he'll take it upon himself to get you things. Want food? He’ll make you some. Want cuddles? He’ll gladly cuddle you.

He’ll have medicine ready for you along with a glass of water and a heating pad.

This man pampers you 100%.

It pains him to see you hurting and not feeling your best. You won’t see it, but he tends to have a frown on his face when you're hurting. He’s doing everything he can, but he can’t take your pain away completely, and it makes him sad.

He’d take away the pain and discomfort from you if he could.

Most of the time is spent cuddling. It doesn’t matter to him; whatever makes you most comfortable and relieves at least some of your pain is what matters to him.

He’ll kiss your face all over, along with some hand kisses, giving positive affirmations that you’re going to get through it, that it’s going to be okay, that you’re very strong, and that it’s only temporary.

His voice goes soft when talking to you, running a hand gently through your hair. He’ll be looking at you often, always asking if you're alright or if you need anything.

｡ﾟ•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• ﾟ ｡ﾟ•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• ﾟ ｡ﾟ•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• ﾟ ｡ﾟ•┈｡ﾟ•┈꒰ა

Aʅԋαιƚԋαɱ 📚

He’s read plenty of books to know what you’re going through and the best treatments for it.

He knows what it is without even having to ask you, as you’re wrapped around the toilet suffering.

He’ll sit with you and wait until you feel slightly well enough to get back to resting.

He will be honest with you and say that he doesn’t mind or care; there’s no shame or embarrassment. It’s a normal thing you go through.

If you let him, he’ll use his hands to place them on your abdomen. He has warm hands, and he’ll keep them there if it helps relieve the pain and discomfort, even just a little bit.

He’ll pull off his cape and put it on you if that helps comfort you in some way.

If you’re lying down, he’ll make sure to pull you closer. Usually, he doesn’t like being so close, but he’s doing this for you because he cares.

You: "Alhaitham, am I burdening you?"

Alhaitham: "I've told you multiple times already that you’re not a burden. You just need help and assistance right now, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Now go back to sleep." (says this while reading a book)

He’ll carry you or pick you up and take you places since moving by yourself is a no-go.

He’ll be reading a book while you lay with him. In reality, he’s keeping an eye on you, not reading a page of that book, just pretending.

This man would take the pain away from you in a heartbeat if he could.

He’ll be with you the entire time through this tough period.

He’ll make sure you take your medicine every few hours as directed.

In a modern AU, he’d likely turn on a movie or something for you, and you two would stay in bed mostly. He’ll also get you anything you need, don’t worry.

He’s still able to do his job remotely from home as the Akademiya's Grand Scribe. What, did you think this man was going to work while you weren’t feeling your best? Nope! He’s going to take care of you because that’s what partners do.

Even if he shows little affection normally, he’ll make sure to give you some during this time.

｡ﾟ•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• ﾟ ｡ﾟ•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• ﾟ ｡ﾟ•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• ﾟ ｡ﾟ•┈｡ﾟ•┈꒰ა

Dιʅυƈ 🍷

He’s more than aware when he wakes up and finds you not up, as you’re usually up before him.

He’ll ask you, and when you confirm his suspicions, he’ll grab some things (food, whatever you want if you just ask him).

He’ll also make a quick trip to the Tavern and have someone take over for him for a couple of days since he’s going to focus on you right now.

If you allow him, he’ll heat up his hands with his Pryo Vision and place them on your abdomen to ease your cramps slightly. If you’re feeling sick at any point, just tap on him or signal him, and he’ll make sure you get to the bathroom.

He’ll always take one of your hands, pepper kisses all over, and look at you while the two of you are in bed as you relax.

This man is a gentleman (all the men are gentlemen).

Your well-being is a main priority for him.

He’ll shower you with affection and pamper you lots.

He’ll always talk with you and explain that if you need anything at all, just tell him. It’s no bother nor burden. He’ll always assure you that you’re his partner and that he cares about you, giving plenty of reassurance if you need it.

All his duties will be resumed once you’re feeling better completely, so don’t worry about him being behind or anything. He still manages things remotely from Dawn Winery.

Diluc: "Please do tell me if you need anything, anything at all."

You: "Of course I will, Diluc. I love you."

Diluc: "Love you too."

｡ﾟ•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• ﾟ ｡ﾟ•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• ﾟ ｡ﾟ•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• ﾟ ｡ﾟ•┈｡ﾟ•┈꒰ა

Tιɠԋɳαɾι 🌻

He’ll brew up some tea or have you drink a glass of water first when you confirm with him that it’s that time.

He has plenty of medicine and herbs on hand to ease your cramps and maybe the nausea caused by them.

He’ll let you have snacks but will also make sure you have balanced meals, going for the healthy approach.

Don’t be afraid of your mood changes or swings; he understands. He’s not going to be mad if you end up snapping at him.

He’ll try to limit his job as a Forest Ranger so he can keep an eye on you and take care of you.

The first time it happened, he thought you’d come down with some sort of sickness until you told him what was happening. He understood and went out of his way to help you (though he did end up going on a ten-minute ramble about what you already knew and didn’t need to hear).

If you have back pain, he’ll rub your back for you. If you’re feeling any other discomfort, he’ll do whatever he can to help.

He also tends to give you face kisses and affection. He’s a cuddle person and doesn’t mind you being clingy (none of the men mind you being clingy).

Tighnari: "Now remember what I told you, [Name]?"

You: "Tighnari, we’ve been over this five times already." sigh

Tighnari: "I just need to make sure you’re retaining the information."

You: "This is going to take a while."

｡ﾟ•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• ﾟ ｡ﾟ•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• ﾟ ｡ﾟ•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• ﾟ ｡ﾟ•┈｡ﾟ•┈꒰ა

[bucksangel]

Okay but imagine bunny has just been feeling so ill :((( and she’s so so sorry Bucky has to take care of her like this :( but she still tries to make him meals and keep up with her chores and be good for him :( even though he’s adamant that she not lift a finger until she’s better

Maybe he comes home one day and she’s crying and she’s apologizing because she knows he’s so stressed already with work and she’s just so so sorry for adding to that :(

And he’s just like “what are you talking about? why are you sorry”

And then she just hands him a positive pregnancy test and keeps apologizing for giving him one more thing to worry about

But he’s just immediately thrilled and is already thinking about how to decorate the nursery and he can’t wait to fuck the tears away while calling her his little mama

Anyway… I’ll see myself out… splendid writing as always my dear!!! <3

I’m literally laying on my stomach with my legs in the air and i’m kicking them and giggling, you’re so kind. And i looooove this idea so here’s a lil drabble :) (also you are always welcome to come back😭😭)

Title: An Odd Flu

pairing: sofdark!ceo!bucky x naive!assistant!reader

word count: 3k

warnings: 18+ so minors dni, mentions of vomiting and being sick, so much fluff, minor angst, hints of abortion though it’s not said outright (only 2-3 sentences), soft love-making, sir kink, petnames (bunny, mama (but not in a mommy kink way)), fingering, dom!bucky, sub!reader, aftercare

main masterlist | run little bunny masterlist

-

Originally, you thought it was an odd case of the flu. You weren’t running a fever and you weren’t feeling overheated or freezing cold, but you were so tired all the time that you’d have to take a midday nap in order to stay awake long enough to have dinner with James. Then it was the vomiting, you’d wake up around seven in the morning and rush to the bathroom to empty the contents of your stomach.

What made things better was that James had been there for you, waiting on you hand and foot whenever he was home. He’d draw you baths and massage your back to relieve your sore muscles. He’d make you soup and tea, going so far as to feed you by hand. He would even cancel meetings if you were feeling especially awful.

But that’s where the problem lies. Leading up to your flu James had been stressed. There was meeting after meeting, paperwork the height of the Empire State Building, and calls coming in after the previous one ended. You already felt physically bad, but the fact that he’s become stretched even thinner has you feeling bad emotionally.

This morning in particular has been the worst of the last three weeks. You gagged when you went downstairs and smelt the eggs James was cooking and had to rush to the bathroom. Your headache felt more like a migraine and all you really want to do is curl up next to James in bed and have him rub your back.

But that’s not possible today. James had a meeting that he had been trying to organize for the past month and it was with people outside of the U.S., so there was no way he could miss it. He still offered to stay home anyway and let his right-hand man, Steve, take over, but you nearly cried when he suggested it. You didn’t want to mess anything up just because you were sick. So, at your insistence, he left with a kiss on your forehead and made you promise to call him if anything got worse.

The only stipulation was that you had to see a doctor while he was gone. His personal doctor, because of course he’s rich enough to have a personal doctor, agreed to come over and check you out.

It was when she got there that things started to feel… off. She noted your symptoms with a glint in her eye that told you she immediately knew what was going on. When she put away her tools, she reached into a different pocket in her bag, giving it to you with a small, knowing smile.

It was a pregnancy test. And suddenly you’re questioning everything. The morning sickness, the aversion to foods you once craved, the crying spells.

Then, you remember your period was supposed to start two days ago. When it didn’t come you just assumed it was because you were ill. Now, though, things are making sense.

That doesn’t stop the insecurities from creeping in. James has been so busy with work lately and this is just one more stressor to add to that. And on top of that, you haven’t been able to do as much cleaning or cooking as you normally do, as much as you want to do. James has been insistent that you not overexert yourself by doing your daily tasks, but you feel so bad that he has to come home from a long day of work to the house being a mess.

When you go to the bathroom, your hands are shaking as you hold the test in the proper position. You’ve always wanted kids, and you can’t imagine having babies with anyone else except James. He always takes care of you, is always lovely and patient even when he’s exhausted and snapping at everyone else, he’s the perfect man and would make a perfect father.

Your hands continue to shake as you wash them, and your whole body vibrates with nerves as you walk back out into the living room to see Doctor Romanoff packing the rest of her things. Her eyes are sympathetic when she senses your anxiety, and she carefully takes the test from you.

The five-minute wait is agonizing, you’re unable to sit still so you’ve been pacing back and forth around the living room awaiting the results. And when the timer goes off, your whole body goes rigid. Your back is to Doctor Romanoff when you hear her hum thoughtfully.

You know what that sound means.

It takes all your effort to turn around, but when you do you find her arm outstretched, offering you the test.

“I’m not sure if it’s the answer you want, but I’m here for whatever you need.”

Hesitantly, you reach out to take the test from her. And, with a big breath, you look down to see the little pink plus sign staring back at you, and tears immediately fill your eyes. You know that James wants kids, he’s very bad at dropping hints when you go to the store and pass by the baby aisle. But, he’s overworked right now, constantly answering calls and responding to emails, and you’re doubting if now is the right time to have a baby.

“Um, th-thank you,” You say weakly, looking up at her with a wavering smile. She nods, and you lead her to the front door and wave her goodbye.

The tears start falling when the door closes behind her, and you quickly rush to your room. You’re staring at the test through your clouded vision, worrying yourself over how to tell him. You know you need to, you want to. So, once you’ve calmed down you pull out your laptop and search for different ideas.

“Bunny, I’m home!” James sounds tired, exhausted really, though you hope the smell of chicken and vegetables will help him wake up a little.

“I’m in the kitchen!” Your hands are shaking so badly when you take the pan out of the oven, and you have to hurry to place it on the counter before you drop it. Suddenly, James’ arms wrap around your waist, pressing his chest to your back and tucking his face into your neck to breathe in your perfume.

“What did I say about overexerting yourself?” His voice is soft, even though he’s clearly tired you know he’s about to march you upstairs and tuck you into bed. “You need your rest.”

“Well, I feel bad for not cleaning as much as I used to, and you’ve been so tired lately.” You pause, taking a large breath and turning in his arms so you can loop your arms around his neck. Your eyes start to water when you see his eyebrows furrow with concern. “Besides, it’s not going to go away any time soon. Google says that morning sickness can last up to 20 weeks and your doctor says I’m only five weeks along.”

James opens his mouth to say something, then promptly closes it when he registers your words. His eyebrows shoot up in surprise, his hold on you slightly loosening as he flounders for a minute. You can see in his eyes that he’s trying to piece together all of your symptoms from the last few weeks, and he’s a smart man, so it’s not a surprise that he figures it out pretty quickly.

“Are… Are you…?”

“I’m pregnant.”

Time seems to stand still, James seems to have frozen in place trying to sink in your words. And the longer the silence goes on the more worried you become, and a few tears slide down your cheeks.

“I-I know this isn’t the ideal time, and you’re extremely busy with work, but it just happened. I’m so sorry, I know this is just going to make you even more stressed, and I-I don’t know what you want to do, but –” You’re cut off by James pressing his lips to yours, his arms tightening around your body and pulling you into his chest.

The kiss is frantic, desperate, excited. And when James pulls back you can’t help but follow his lips with yours, trying to keep the kiss going. But James doesn’t give in, instead, he leans back enough to be able to look into your eyes. And his are glassy, filled with unshed tears as he brings up one hand to brush away yours with his thumb.

“Fuck, bunny. Don’t be sorry, never be sorry for this. Bunny, you’re – you’re giving me everything I’ve wanted since I first saw you.”

Loosening his arms around your waist, he drops to his knees, placing one hand on your hip and covering your stomach with the other. He stares at your belly with amazement, then pushes up your shirt so he can kiss your belly. Your hands immediately find their way into his hair, rubbing his scalp and running your fingers through it. After a couple of minutes, he finally moves back to look up at you.

“You’re really pregnant?” He smiles wide when you nod, more tears involuntarily sliding down your cheeks.

“I’m really pregnant.” Your voice wavers, but you’re finally at ease, no longer worried about how James would react.

“Fuck, bunny,” He whispers, slowly rising to his feet and grabbing your hips. He leans down, brushing his lips over yours and smiling a little when you whine. “You’re going to be such a pretty mama.”

James is unable to stop himself from lifting you up, prompting you to wrap your legs around his waist. You bury your face in his neck, kissing and nibbling on his skin until he gets to your room and lays you gently on the bed.

He doesn’t immediately climb onto the bed, he just stands at the end of the bed and stares at you with a mixture of love and lust. A few moments of silence goes by before you finally whine, wiggling your hips to hopefully entice him.

It works. James shrugs off his jacket and unbuttons his shirt, smirking at you the whole time because your eyes are roaming over his bare chest, and you’re practically drooling when he gets to his pants.

“See something you like?” He chuckles when you glare at him.

“You know I do, so please hurry up. I want you inside me.” While you were teasing, you know you’ve made a mistake when his smile drops and one of his eyebrows raises.

“Where are those manners, bunny? Just because I knocked you up doesn’t mean I’m not still your Sir.”

“I’m sorry, sir! I-I didn’t mean to - I just -“ You stumble over your words, not worried about him punishing you physically, but you know he’s not above edging you for hours on end, and you’re sure you’ll actually cry if that happens.

“I know, bunny,” James coos, finally stepping out of his pants and boxers and kicking them to the side. Before you can say anything he grabs you by your ankles, then tugs you down the bed until your legs are dangling off the edge. “It’s okay, you’re still my good little bunny.”

You moan at his words, a pleasant fuzziness clouding your head. And then James helps you sit up a little so he can unzip your dress — his favorite floral one — and slide the straps down your arms. When he lays you back down he pulls the dress down and off your body, groaning when he sees your bare body, just as he likes it. One of his rules about living with him is that you’re not to wear panties or a bra, you have to always be ready for him.

You and James have never been more grateful for it.

“Fuck, bunny,” James groans and takes hold of his achingly hard cock, squeezing the base. “You’re so fucking beautiful. Going to make such a beautiful mama.”

“Sir, please.” Your eyes water, this time from frustration. You need him inside you immediately.

“Okay, bunny, okay, don’t worry your pretty little head.” James climbs onto the bed and arranges your bodies so he’s sitting against the headboard and you’re sitting on his lap, your back to his chest and your pussy resting over his throbbing dick.

It takes everything in you not to roll your hips against his, the only reason you don’t is because you want to be good for him. He seems to recognize this and lovingly kisses your cheek, humming softly.

“My good girl, my perfect girl,” James mumbles into your ear, placing his hands on the inside of your thighs and spreading them wide open, hooking your ankles around his calves. He drags one hand up to rest lightly on your stomach, his other stroking your thigh, climbing higher and higher until you’re practically vibrating with need.

“Sir.” You’re already sounding pathetic, but, to be fair, James has that effect on you. With only a few touches he can render you dumb, but you love it.

“What do you need, bunny?” James asks as though he doesn’t already know what you need. What you crave.

“You, sir. Always you.” Tears spring to your eyes, damn your hormones.

James sighs behind you, trailing his lips to your cheek, down to your jaw, and then your neck.

“You have me, pretty mama. You always have me. I’m yours as much as you are mine.” His words make you sniffle, a few tears sliding down your cheeks.

You’re so lucky.

“Come here, bunny.” James urges you off his lap, maneuvering your bodies so you’re laying down and he’s hovering over you. He leans on one elbow and reaches up with his other hand to wipe away a few tears, smiling softly when you nuzzle his palm.

“Are you going to let me love on you, pretty mama?”

“Y-Yes, please. Please!” You’re slipping even further into that soft space where nothing else matters except for James, except for Sir.

James leans down, brushing his lips against yours and chuckling when you whine. The moment he finally kisses you he slides his hand down your neck to your breasts, lighting tugging at one of your nipples before sliding down further until he can spread your legs. He only pulls back when his hand makes it to the inside of one of your thighs, cooing when you whimper.

“It’s okay, bunny. I’m going to give you everything you need.” He’s slow and careful when he inches closer to your soaking pussy, running his thumb along your lips and dipping in to gently rub your clit.

He teases you for a long while, staring into your eyes when he dips two fingers in your hole easily due to how wet you are. He’s slow and methodical as he slips in another finger, kissing your cheeks every so often to catch stray tears. When he finally decides you’ve had enough teasing he starts thrusting his fingers faster, crooking them upwards to hit your special spot.

It doesn’t take long at all for you to cum, both because of James’ expert fingering and because of his husky voice whispering praises in your ear. And it’s an intense orgasm, your body going so far as to squirt liquid all over his hand.

It does take a bit for you to come down from your high, your mind is too clouded and fuzzy from pleasure. But when you do come to your senses you’re in the bathtub, your back to his chest as you soak in the warm water. James’ hands are on your stomach, rubbing over it as though it holds a priceless gem.

And, to be fair, there is. The little baby growing inside you is going to be the most loved child in the world.

“James?” Your voice is soft, not wanting to disturb the peace.

“Yes, bunny?” He kisses your neck, and you lean against him further.

“What, um—“ You wiggle a little, feeling his now only semi-hard cock against your lower back. “What about you?”

“Don’t worry about me,” James hums, suckling at your skin. “Tonight is about you, pretty mama.”

You’ll never understand how it’s possible to love someone as much as you love James, let alone be loved by such a perfect man, but you won’t question it.

tagging: @hisredheadedgoddess28

[jamiebluewind]

Warning! Pet illness, xray

A friend of mine a few states away had a pregnant female cat walk onto her porch and decide she lives now. She had 3 kittens. Since my friend/roommate @winterpower98 was looking for her first cat, we (other roommate/bestie, Winter/Gaia, and I) decided to take a trip down to visit and see if one of the kittens would work for her.

The thing is, she did fall in love with one! He's black with white markings, so the 6 year old had been calling him Eclipse. He's, curious, playful, and always trying to get into something. He loves Gaia. I mean LOVES her. And she loves him. Like... emptying her savings loves him.

Right before we arrived, our friend noticed a little lump on his belly. They thought nothing of it. And then, it got bigger. And bigger. And bigger.

After a week, we took him to a local vet to get checked out. He had a umbilical hernia. Luckily it stopped before his diaphragm, but the hernia was severe enough that he would need surgery to close it (a lot of articles talked about smaller ones closing on their own which is why we waited). He would also need special care for IBS symptoms and to keep his hernia from getting injured or obstructed before repair (which couldn't happen until he was big enough to go under anesthesia). He would need to come indoors for his safety and be separated from the others as his sisters pouncing on the hernia was causing issues (a week earlier than the 8 week mark).

I was honestly expecting Gaia to say it was too much for her to handle. Even told her that nobody would judge her for not being ready for that level of responsibility. That we could find an organization that could take him and get him the help he needed and find him a good home. He has two sisters she could consider, there were plenty of shelters back home with cats under a year old, and we could even check the town we were visiting and places on the way back home, so there were options. I knew how much it took to care for a kitten with health issues (my current cat required months of specialized care and there were plenty of scares along the way) and Gaia has no previous experience with cats outside of hanging out with our cats, so that's just starting on hard mode.

After a long serious talk on the responsibilities she was about to take on, she said she knew it would be hard but the thought of giving him up made her sick. That she would do whatever it took to give him a happy life for however long she has him. We aren't rich people, she's going back to college full time, she had only decided on him over one of his sisters that morning, and (again) this would be the first cat she has ever had. She went all in without a second thought.

The original quotes from various vets willing to do the surgery (not all vets can) were pretty insane, but luckily I found a non-profit that did the surgery for about half. My other roommate and I fully support her and chipping in what we can.

Eclipse is 8 week old and his surgery is scheduled in a month, but we are going to call in and check for cancelations since he's reached the minimum weight and age for anesthesia. Winter has been so busy caring for him that she's not had a chance to post about him, so I decided to do it on the drive home. I think the story is important because it raises awareness about an issue most don't know about and shows someone genuinely caring about a pet with special needs. As a disabled person who's went through a lot of ableism and survived abuse, it really hit me to see how much she loves him with her whole chest and doesn't ever approach his issues with anger or blame.

I don't ask for reblogs much, but I wanted to ask you guys to boost this. I linked Gaia's PayPal below if anyone wants to help take some of the financial burden off her, but you can also support her with messages and boosting this and her future post/s about Eclipse (cut her some slack guys, she's currently in tired new mom mode). I don't expect anyone to donate because I know you guys are mostly in the same shape as us, but I think showing Gaia support is just as important.

Now if you'll excuse me, the hyperactive boy got the zoomies and just jumped in the toilet XD

Edit: Late thing to add on, but a few days after posting this my other roommate/bestie Sarah decided to adopt his sister! Her name is Melanite, but her honey eyes have earned her the nickname Miel. Her and Eclipse have always been very close (often laying on top of each other), so it's great that they'll get to stay together.

[lemonlover1110]

𝐌𝐲 𝐁𝐞𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐝

Toji Fushiguro

[Chapter 6] Same Old

← Previous Chapter - Story Masterlist - Next Chapter →

Pairing: Toji Fushiguro x f!Reader

Chapter Warnings: Angst, Talks of Abortion, Toji being a major asshole, Talks of Cheating

Discord +18 - Twitter - Ko-Fi

You feel awful during the week. Nothing to do with pregnancy symptoms but the fact that your husband– Rather, ex-husband is just the biggest scum that you’ve ever come across. You knew that he didn’t want kids, and you should’ve expected his response to be an abortion. You just didn’t expect him to react happily at the thought that he finally trapped you, meaning that he doesn’t care about the fact that you’re having a baby, he just wants you unable to go anywhere.

You’ve grown to resent him even more. And you’re growing to resent yourself because you can’t stop loving him. You wish you could rip your heart out and get rid of your feelings, alas, it isn’t that simple. You’ll have to learn to move on slowly, and balance the love and resentment that you hold of him… The father of your child.

Maybe he’s right. Maybe you should get an abortion so you’re not tied to him for the rest of your life. But you also want to be a mother, even if it means that you’re stuck with Toji one way or another.

Your personal issues leave you absentminded at work. You barely hear the phone ringing, and when you do, it’s almost too late. You luckily pick it up. That’s your only job, answering phones, it’d be a shame if you couldn’t do that correctly.

“I’m here to talk to–” You hear a very familiar voice, and you feel a sigh leave your lips as you look up at him. You finish the conversation on the phone, and when you hang up, you clear your throat to ask,

“What are you doing here, Toji?” You make it clear that you’re not exactly pleased with his presence, and he rolls his eyes at your reaction. He isn’t here for you either way. He opens his mouth to speak but you do it before him, “Will you please leave me alone? I think we need a lot of time away from each other before–”

“Toji!” You turn your head to the woman that calls out his name. A manager in your workplace. She walks over to Toji, and you watch as they share a hug, one that lasts too much for your liking. They’ve known each other for some time, that’s clear, but Toji hasn’t come around in the time that you’ve been working here. She looks at you and orders, “Tell my assistant to cancel all my meetings.”

“Yes, ma’am.” You respond, watching as she walks back to her office and he follows behind. You do as she says, dialing the extension and telling the assistant that his boss is occupied. You feel your blood boil, even though you don’t care about Toji’s romances. If he has something going on with that woman, it obviously started while you were together. 

Your chest feels heavy, thinking about the one time you chased him around thinking that he was cheating, but he was just working. Maybe he didn’t have to go elsewhere because his job had all he needed. Maybe you trusted him too much. You shouldn’t care, you’re already separated anyway. But you have to know.

You obviously can’t barge into the office and demand answers, matter of fact, you still don’t really want to talk to Toji. You try to not pay any attention to him, and to do that you decide to look at baby clothes. You shouldn’t, you don’t have the money for it right now, there’s other things you should figure out. It doesn’t hurt to look though.

Someone knocks on the reception desk, making you look up and away from the computer screen that displays the cutest onesie. It’s the assistant, Nanami. You smile at him, tilting your head to the side before asking, “How may I help you?”

“Why did she cancel?” He asks, and you shrug.

“She’s with Toji. Probably fuc–” You keep the thought to yourself. You don’t want to be inappropriate at work. Nanami’s brows raise.

“You think there’s something going on there? She’s just really flirty and he returns it because he’s trying to sell something to her.” He tells you, and you sigh. You want that to be the situation because you can’t stand the thought of hating Toji but knowing that he’s been cheating might be your final straw. “That’s what some people say though. I have no idea. Others say that they’re together.”

“It’s none of our business in the end, I guess.” You say and he hums in response.

“Are you two on a first name basis or what? Never heard someone refer to him as Toji, not even my boss.” Kento says, and you’re taken back by the question. You didn’t really expect that question especially since the man in front of you isn’t all that talkative; he’s bored and has nothing to do but he still has to stick around.

“We have a long history together.” You answer, not bothering to give more details. He isn’t going to pry. He nods his head in response, and since he has nothing more to ask or say, he leaves reception and goes back to his desk.

For the rest of the work day, you find yourself looking at baby clothes, growing excited over the fact that you’re growing life inside of you. Even if it’s Toji’s child.

The biggest sigh leaves your lips when you’re finally home after a long day at work. You luckily have the night off from your second job, and now you have the time to lounge around and be lazy. You were planning on leaving your second job once you got the chance to move out but since you’re pregnant, you have to save up your money so you can take some time off when your baby comes– Additionally, all the costs that come with a baby. You’re not counting on Toji.

A groan leaves your lips as you stretch. You get up from your couch and walk to the bathroom to turn on the faucet and fill the tub with water. You need a nice long bath to unwind, and hopefully it’ll help you to get your mind off Toji and the fact that he may have been cheating on you while you were married. You want to believe Nanami, but he’s oblivious to pretty much everything that’s going on around him.

You get undressed and soak yourself in the tub when it’s full. You allow yourself to relax in the warm water, shutting your eyes, trying your best to not fall asleep in the water. You have to open your eyes when you catch yourself drifting off. You grab a bottle of your bath bubbles and pour some into the water so you can entertain yourself like that.

You begin to play with the water to make bubbles, and when your bath is filled with them, you hear a knock on the front door. It’s rather aggressive, so it’s hard not to notice. You get out of the water, irritated as you grab a towel and dry yourself off. You don’t have enough time to run to your room to change into clothes so you grab your bathrobe and wrap it around yourself.

When you approach the door, the person knocks again, even harsher than before. You open the door, and you aren’t surprised to find your ex-husband standing before you with a bag that contains what you assume is food. You cross your arms, tilting your head to the side and ask, “What are you doing here?”

“Thought we’d have some dinner together after the awkward events from earlier.” He says, trying to disregard the fact that you’re just wearing a bathrobe with probably nothing underneath. The thought alone drives him wild. 

“Why would I want to have dinner with you?” You ask him, letting it be known that you’re not exactly pleased with his presence. You don’t understand why you have to make it painfully obvious that you don’t want to be near him, he should know at this point. He’s just ignoring what you want for his own selfish reasons. You shouldn’t be surprised though, you married him knowing how selfish he is; you didn’t expect to divorce him though, and you didn’t expect his selfishness to affect you while you’re separating.

“I could tell you were upset when I left… So why not?” He responds and you don’t budge. He tries to weakly smile, and it comes off awful. “And you’re pregnant so I got you your favorite.”

“Fine.” You end up agreeing. You’re hungry and the thought of eating your favorite food brings joy to your heart– Except you’re not even sure if Toji bought the right meal, he doesn’t know you that well. You don’t think he does. But you’re hungry anyway. “You can set the table while I put on some clothes.”

“I don’t know–” He begins but you cut him off before he can finish his sentence.

“You wanted to have dinner with me, you can figure it out yourself. It’s not that hard.” You give him attitude before you walk to your room, leaving him to figure it out. Going through all the drawers isn’t that hard, he’s still a bit annoyed that he has to do so. He can’t really argue with you though since the last thing you want is for him to be at your apartment.  You walk back, asking, “Did you find everything?”

“Yeah.” He answers, walking over to the table to organize the plates and utensils. You take a seat while he handles that. You watch as he does a task that he never did while you were married. You never really minded though, you had an agreement: you take care of the house while he pays for every bill. 

When he takes a seat, you waste no time in serving yourself food. A small smile comes to your lips when you realize that he, in fact, did get your favorite food. You wipe it off your face before he can see it. You don’t want to give him that satisfaction of seeing you smile. 

You quietly begin to eat when the food is served. Toji doesn’t like the silence, even if it’s what he wanted a couple of months ago. He clears his throat before asking, “So… Why were you upset?”

“I wasn’t upset.” You answer with your mouth full of food. You don’t want him to think that you’re upset, even though you so clearly are.

“When I left, I tried to talk to you but you couldn’t even look at me.” He points out, and you continue eating in silence.

“You should leave. Megumi already spends a lot of time alone.” You try to change the topic and kick him out of the apartment but that won’t work so easily on him. He takes a deep breath, standing up from the chair and walking to your kitchen to grab himself a glass of water.

“Why were you upset?” He asks, and you decide that suppressing your feelings isn’t really going to solve much. You sigh.

“Were you cheating on me while we were married?” You finally ask the question that’s been bugging your mind all day. Toji chokes on the water that he drinks, punching his chest as he coughs it out. You wait for his response patiently, watching him as you eat the food that’s in front of you.

“Why would you even suggest that? Do you not trust me?” He sounds deeply offended by the question, making another sigh leave your lips. You should’ve known that would be his response.

“I don’t. You did it once, you might do it again.” You tell him, and his brows furrow.

“That happened months into our relationship and you decided to stick around. I never did it again, I swear to you on my life.” He argues, which doesn’t really help you. You can’t bring yourself to trust him, at least not now.

“Then why was that lady so… Touchy. A little too close.” You remind him, and a smirk comes to Toji’s lips. He tilts his head to the side before asking,

“Are you jealous?” Which makes you roll your eyes. You don’t care to answer that, of course you’re jealous but you won’t admit it to him.

“Answer.” You order, and he puts the glass down. He walks back to the table and takes a seat. It feels like forever as you wait for him to answer. Your heart feels like it’s about to beat out of your chest as you wait for a response.

“Flirting comes with the job sometimes. Flatter her, secure the company’s business.” He answers, and your eyes widen.

“I–” You open and close your mouth a couple of times, trying to figure out what you say. You’re hurt by his actions, and it leads you to say, “That’s cheating, Toji.”

“No it isn’t. I never wanted anything to do with her.” He points out, which doesn’t really help you. You feel nauseous and you have to stop eating before you throw it all back up. You have to take a deep breath before speaking again,

“Imagine if I started flirting with some random guy just to secure a good tip–” You begin but he cuts you off.

“If it’s your job, I wouldn’t care. You’re making more money for us.” He says, making you take another deep breath. You can’t believe this is the conversation you’re having with him.

“Right… You wouldn’t care. You wouldn’t even care if I was flirting just for attention.” You respond, and he crosses his arms. He clicks his tongue.

“What are you trying to say?” He asks, which makes a sigh escape your lips. You have to look away from him because you feel the tears well up in your eyes.

“That you’ve never really cared about me like that Toji. You wanted someone to fill the role of your wife, and that’s what I did essentially. You never cared for me as your lover though, you couldn’t care less about what I did as long as I continued to play wife.” You tell him, and he rolls his eyes. He’s tired of listening to this. 

“That’s not true.” He responds. Of course. He’s not going to admit his faults, he never will.

“And if I told you I slept with someone once while we were together… Would you feel jealous? What if I told you I was seeing someone else now?” You bring up, and his brows raise. He finds himself speechless, completely unsure of how to respond to that. He ends up chuckling before saying,

“I wouldn’t feel jealous because I know neither of those things are true.” He knows you better than you think. But that’s not the reaction you want to see. “Let’s drop this. I was never cheating on you, now that that’s settled–”

“Maybe it isn’t cheating but it certainly hurts my feelings.” You respond, not wanting to drop the subject yet. “You couldn’t even bother giving me that type of attention, but you could do it to other women.”

“Why are you so overdramatic?” He scoffs. 

“You’re right, Toji. I’m overdramatic. Yet you’re the one here that refuses to leave because for some stupid reason you think we can get back together.” You slightly raise your voice at him, and he pinches the bridge of his nose.

“Why do I have to constantly show you that I love you? Do you not believe me?” He proceeds to ask which nearly makes your eye twitch. You can’t believe how long you stuck with this man.

“No! I made it clear that I don’t trust you.” You waste no time in answering. “Plus I’ve never been sure of your love in the first place.”

“I do love you.” He responds. You’re tired of hearing the same lie over and over again. You don’t see the point, he can just find another woman to play as his wife. 

“This feels like the same conversation. We have this conversation every single time we talk.” You say, focusing back on eating. “Let’s not. Let’s change the topic or finish eating in silence.”

“Right.” Toji ends up sighing. “I’m covering half of your rent and your bills. I want you to leave your second job.”

“Huh?” You’re not sure if your ears are deceiving you. But he repeats it and you’re right. “What about your gambling addiction? Can you handle that?”

“Don’t bring that up. I don’t have an addiction either way.” Toji responds. But you’re not leaving your second job. He isn’t reliable. Even if you want to leave your second job to have nights off and be able to relax. “I guess… It’d be ideal if you moved back in but you’re not doing that.”

“Why are you doing this? Do you suddenly care about the pregnancy?” You ask. You don’t want him to be doing this simply because he wants to win you back, but knowing him he might be doing this just for that. 

“I guess I have no other option. It’s my baby too.” He ends up saying, and you have no idea if you’re supposed to feel good about it. You have mixed emotions over it. “I can’t be a shitty father.”

[un-lawliet]

hii !! i just read your sick gojo getting taken of by reader fic (it was amazing btw <33) and i was wondering if u could write it in reverse? like gojo taking care of sick reader yk

love ur writing and i hope u have a great day 🫶

(THANK YOUUUUU FOR THR REQUEST I LOVE SICK FICS SO MUCH IM SORRY FOR HOW LONG IT TOOK ME TO WRITE THIS !!!! TY AGAIN)

“Impartial”

— you’re sick, you hate being sick but at least he’s there.

( taking care of Gojo while he’s sick here <3 )

When you woke up this morning you thought you were dying.

Your entire body was flushed, your temperature fluctuating, your breath coming out ragged and raspy against your raw throat.

It took you about thirty seconds of enduring this torture before you rolled over and groaned into your pillow, the action making you dizzy.

Helpless to your symptoms you wiped the sweat off your forehead, throwing the covers off of your clammy body and sighed.

Fuck sakes, you were sick.

Gojo and you were supposed to go to the little cafe just around the corner of your apartment for breakfast this morning, you frown as you recall how excited he was when you asked him to join you.

The thought of food made you cringe, your eyes clamping shut in an attempt to retain you composure.

Nope, you were going to have to cancel.

With a bitter expression you sent him a quick text, telling him of your, in your opinion, life threatening cold, and apologising with a promise that you’ll join him later in the week for waffles.

You were just going to have to sleep it off- you could surely just do that. There was no way you could do anything in this pathetic state.

You close your eyes, trying to ignore the pounding in your head and how you could hear the blood rushing in your ears, and the feeling of your nose being tapped…By what felt like a finger?

…Huh?

You cracked and eye open and almost shrieked when you saw your idiot boyfriend grinning at you through his lashes, his finger delicately placed of the tip of your nose.

“Satoru! What the fuck!” You exclaimed, your heart pounding, glaring at him.

“Hi baby.” He winked, standing up to place a hand on your forehead “Man you’re burning up, how long have you felt sick hm?”

You gape at him, unable to fully register his words.

“How the hell did you get in..? Oh my God did you fucking teleport into my room?” You sat up, pushing his hand away.

The room swayed and you winced as your body protested the sudden movement.

A gentle hand was placed on your shoulder, “Hey, hey take it easy ‘kay?” Gojo raised a hand to brush away the stray hair stuck to your forehead, a soft smile on his face, “I couldn’t just leave my poor sick princess alone when she so desperately needs my help no?”

You frown at him, your hand reaching up to grasp his, “‘M not desperate at all you jerk.”

And Gojo giggles, leaning down to kiss your forehead, “Sure you are! Look at your cute little flushed cheeks.” He coos.

Your grip on his hand tightens, and he beams at how you roll your eyes at him.

“Lemme take care of you yea?”

“You’ll get sick.”

And Gojos mouth twitches, as if holding himself back from reminding you that he is the strongest.

And you hold yourself back from throwing your pillow at his stupid face.

Despite everything however, you found yourself leaning towards him, resigning yourself to his care, ignoring the way his face lights up.

With another quick kiss to your forehead he jumps up, a look of domestic determination on his features.

“Have you ate?”

You shake your head.

And then you’re in the air, well, in his arms, heading towards the kitchen.

“Satoru put me down!”

“No baby, ehe~”

You groan against his neck, and he shivers ever so slightly, gently rocking you in his embrace.

“You need to eat sweet pea! Otherwise you’ll never get better.”

“Yes I know that.” You hiss, “But I can walk to the kitchen without your help.”

Gojo gasps, and you pull yourself from his neck to look at him.

“But baby what if something terrible happened and I wasn’t there to help?”

“I hate you.”

“You love me.”

And you do, he knows you do, they way you whisper a small “thank you” and kiss his neck is telling, and he loves how you let him care for you, loves that you, despite everything, rely on him to help.

“Say ‘Ah.” And you just stare at Gojo, who wiggled a spoon in your face, “Come on baby, say ‘Ah.’-”

“I’m not going to say “Ah” Gojo.” You deadpan.

You’re sat on the counter of your kitchen, the one beside the sink, Gojo claiming it was the easiest place for him to feed you for you to eat.

He had made your favourite comfort meal, the one you told him about months ago, that you were sure he had forgot about.

“I’m really not hungry Toru.” You mumble, feeling a wave of nausea crash over your body.

Gojo deflates, thinking.

When he raises his head his eyes are shining, and you lift a hand to cover his mouth, knowing a ridiculous idea was going to be presented to you.

You’re fast, but he’s faster, the gentle grip on your hand is proof of that, and he smirks.

“If you eat it, I’ll give you a kiss.”

You’re staring at him again, and he only smiles back, his dimples taunting you.

“Fucking fine.” You sigh, Gojo aways gets his way, there’s no point arguing. And although you’d never admit it, out-loud, ever, you kind of wanted a kiss.

And Gojo feels his heart swell with pride as you open your mouth and eat, there’s probably stars in his eyes and he dotes upon you.

One spoonful, then another, and then he’s kissing you all over.

You protest but don’t pull away, and when he finally reaches your lips, you finally smile, the giggle you let out matching his.

You’re on the sofa, on his lap, cradled in his arms as the TV plays a rerun of some shitty movie from the 90’s.

And you let yourself cuddle him, feeling exhausted but safe in his arms, your head doesn’t seem quite as sore as it once was.

He traces little patterns on your back, humming a quiet song meant for your ears only.

“Love you Toru.” You whisper, and he doesn’t reply, just tightens his hold on you, a silent gesture that reassures you that you don’t need to thank him, that he would care about you always, regardless of what you think, or say.

the end.

masterlist here <3

THANK YOU SO SO SO MUCH FOR THE REQUEST I HOPE THIS WAS OK !!!! IM SO SORRY FOR TAKING SO LONG TO WRITE IT ! i love you and i hope you’re well anon :))

(A/N: My sister and I are like alone in our hotel cause our parents went on a cruise this morning.. ANYWAY she like turned to me crying and i was like help are you ok BECAUSE RN IM SO TOTALLY HUNGOVER and then she threw up on me. IT WAS LITERALLY LIKE BIG SISTER MODE WAS ACTIVATED i feel like a fucking doctor, i stole a mop and a spray from one of the cleaning ladies cart SO if you’re a cleaner and you can’t find your mop i’m so sorry that was me i panicked.)

[aziraphales-library]

Hello! Do you have any shorter sickfic recommendations? Preferably Hurt!Crowley (especially chronic pain-centered) and Caretaker!Aziraphale. One-shots are preferred but really anything under/around 10k.

And in that realm, can I recommend "side effects" by darcylindbergh? One of my long-time favorites with chronic pain Crowley. ❤️‍🩹

Thank you!

Hi! We have #sick fic, #crowley has chronic pain, and #hurt crowley tags with loads of fics on, so check those out. Here are some <10k to add to all of those collections...

Ceaseless Roving by EdosianOrchids901 (T)

After a long stretch of overworking, Crowley finally collapses. Can Aziraphale nurse him back to health?

Lay Your Head Upon Me So That I May Take Away Your Pain by CaelumCalamitas (T)

After months of not speaking to each other, Crowley shows up at the bookshop sick and in need of help from his angel.

Slow Burn by Bazzpop (G)

After waking up from a nap in the bookshop, Crowley finds that he doesn’t exactly feel well. He doesn’t think much of it at first, choosing to ignore his worsening symptoms and take Aziraphale out for lunch as a means of distraction. But when things go downhill from there, at least Aziraphale’s there to help him feel better.

(Not) Fine by flowing_river (T)

After catching a cold, Crowley goes deep in denial about being sick. But he can only ignore his symptoms and hide his cold from Aziraphale for so long...

Scarred Skin and Scared Souls by LvndrLemonade (G)

Crowley doesn't like to acknowledge his wings, though he doesn't really have a choice. Ethereal injuries don't ever stop hurting, and to be burnt by hellfire is to feel it like the very same agonizing moment it first burnt you for the rest of your miserable existence. Crowley had stopped giving too much thought to it, but when he and Aziraphale switch bodies after Armageddon't, Aziraphale realizes just how much pain Crowley is constantly in.

there's love in all your senses by perilit (T)

“You - you’re -” Aziraphale flounders. He thinks of all the times Crowley’s canceled on him or made excuses throughout the millennia. How many times had he suffered like this, alone? “Angel,” Crowley says, gently. “You’re vibrating.” ”You’re in pain!” Crowley’s chronic pain is exacerbated by the cold weather. Aziraphale refuses to let there be secrets between them anymore. That turns out to be a good thing when a flare-up takes a turn for the worse.

And the one you mentioned...

side effects by darcylindbergh (E)

You don’t have to do this, you know, Crowley said, somewhere around Aziraphale’s stomach. His hand was rough around the hem of Aziraphale’s jumper, tugging a little, like he was trying to convince himself to let go. I’m fine on my own. I know. Aziraphale touched carefully—he was learning how to touch, like this—searching out the place right above Crowley’s left eyebrow where the migraine lived, pressing on it. You don’t have to be, though. You can just consider me a side effect.

- Mod D

[huboi]

GENSHIN BOYS WITH AN AUTISTIC S/O HEADCANONS (SUMERU BOYS)🌴

character(s) — cyno, tighnari, alhaitham, kaveh, wanderer

reader’s gender is not specified, nor is their race. I always try to make my fanfics as inclusive as possible

tw/cw — none ig, lmk if there are any

note(s) — I made this as an autistic person, however this may not include like every trait of someone with autism if that makes sense. PLS DON’T USE THIS FANFIC TO SELF DIAGNOSE URSELF WITH AUTISM, it’s important to get professionally diagnosed due to overlapping symptoms

CYNO

he would be the perfect boyfriend tbh

like if you have any hyperfixations u wanna talk about? he’s all ears

even if he’s busy playing tcg with someone, he doesn’t mind you talking about your hyperfixations with him

my man can multitask, it ain’t hard

if ur not a big fan of large crowded areas, he will make sure to walk with you in the least busiest parts of sumeru city

if you don’t like loud noises, like the crowded area, he will try his best to make sure he doesn’t bring you to loud areas

if anyone ever makes fun or belittles you for having autism.... he will beat them up/hj

he will mainly use his threatening aura to make them apologies or just make them leave you alone

no one messes with the mahamatras partner and gets away with it

you have comfort foods? he’s learning how to make them. whenever he can’t make them, he will buy them for you

you’re clingy? he loves that, hug him all you want, fidget with his hands all u want, he’s smitten asf

struggle to make eye contact? he’s ok with that too! he’s actually kinda used to it tbh, cause people can barely look him in the eye due to his status

overall, quite protective and just overall rlly loving, doesn’t rlly care u have autism, he still loves u as you are <33

TIGHNARI

when it comes to your sensory issues, he can relate, as a fennec hybrid his senses can easily get overwhelmed, so don’t worry about your sensory issues being a burden, he’s totally ok with it

have comfort foods? he will make them as much as he possibly can, he doesn’t mind how simple they are, he’s making them and sometimes he will buy them whenever he goes to the city

you stim? he will support you with it, if he’s feeling generous, which he usually is since ur his partner, he will let you fidget with his tail and ears, as long as ur gentle with them obviously

have hyperfixations? he’s all ears, quite literally, you can tell him all about whatever it is ur obsessed with no matter what he’s up to, whilst he’s studying the wildlife? he doesn’t mind, whilst he’s patrolling the forest? go ahead

anyone ever makes fun of you or is mean to you, he will sort them out with a good telling off. this sassy fox man will give them the lecture of a lifetime, he doesn’t mind if it’s for u tho :)

collei is supportive as well, she’s even more so understanding than the other forest rangers mainly due to her elazer, it’s not the same in any way shape or form, but she understands what it feels like to be different

ALHAITHAM

this man has traits that are quite similar to autism, so it doesn’t bother him that you have it, he’s supportive in his own way if you know what I mean

sensory issues? oh look, there’s now a pair of noise cancelling earphones for you, how strange, how’d that get there?

people would think that your stinking annoys him, newsflash it doesn’t. in a way he finds it kinda cute, but not in a belittling way if that makes sense

have hyperfixations? he can and will listen to you all day if he has to, and he would do it gladly too

doesn’t mind if ur clingy, he can read his book whilst you hug him on the couch or sum, kills two birds with one stone, he gets his research done, and you get cuddles

he’s actually a huge softy for you but won’t admit it to anyone, not even himself :))

KAVEH

kaveh is amazing, like best supportive boyfriend alert

if you have sensory issues, he can’t really help with the big crowds and loud noise but he’ll try his best to help you cope through it and give you distractions

like if ur in a crowded erea he’ll ask you to talk about your hyperfixations to him. if you don’t have hyperfixations he’ll just ask what you have done today

when it comes to taste sensory issues, he’ll try to avoid eating food that you dont like the smell of cause he doesn’t wanna overwhelm your nose. he will eat said food like that someplace else when ur not around

if you have comfort foods, he sadly can’t really buy them often since he doesn’t have a lot of money, but now and again as a special treat he can make it for you or buy it

clingy? great, he is too, cuddle him all you want, he’s not one to complain. wanna kiss him all over? go ahead, he embraces it

tries his best to understand how you work, he can sympathise with how frustrating things can be when people don’t quite understand you and how you work

you don’t like affection? that’s fine too, he will try to keep physical affection to a minimum as much as he possibly can, he can be affectionate in other ways tho

love language is probs spending personal time together, so that’s enough for him if u don’t want affection too

overall, 10/10 best boy and baby girl, recommend

WANDERER

ngl he’s not rlly the best, but he tries. it’s just really difficult for him to be nice since after all he’s been through, he tries tho, he really does

whenever you’re feeling overwhelmed by large crowds and/or noises, he will pick you up bridal style and bring you to nahidas place, where it’s quiet and no one else is there

like certain foods? he can’t cook, since he was made by ei who can’t cook to save her life, so he will just buy your comfort foods for you instead

want cuddles? it depends on his mood wether or not he’ll comply, if he’s in a good mood, yes, if he’s in a neutral mood, yes, if he’s in a bad mood, no.

whenever you stim, he sometimes watches, other times he looks away, he doesn’t wanna say anything mean to you by accident

if you can’t understand sarcasm, he’ll try his best to not use it around you, but it’s difficult sometimes since he has used sarcasm for so long

if you have hyperfixations and like to talk about them, he will listen, doesn’t mind hearing you talk about your interests, in a strange way it fascinates him, sometimes he asks questions other times he just stays silent and nods his head now and again in acknowledgment

if he ever hears anyone being mean to you, wether that be on purpose or not, he’s finna throw some hands, and he will win. tries not to actually fight them, tries to argue with them. he tries to fight less cause it makes nahida kinda upset

speaking of nahida, she’s amazing with you, like the best person to ever go to. she’s the god of wisdom after all, more or less knows how to take care of you during certain phases, he sometimes actually goes to her for advice on your behaviours and how best to support you, but you didn’t hear that from me

content belongs to @huboi on tumblr, DO NOT REPOST ON ANY SOCIAL MEDIA PLATFORMS WHATSOEVER

[dollymaniac]

︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶ Sick ︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶

Pairing: Leon Kennedy x GN!reader.

Summary: You got sick, like a really bad flu; Leon comes in to be your caretaker.

Wordcount: 0.846k.

A/N: just a very short kinda fluffy story i did after i rewatched that scene where Leon holds Ashley's hand while the plaga is being purged. (Didn't proof read, woops)

For a good few days you had a ever increasing in pain headache, It started as little annoying prickling by the side of your eyes, and as the days went on it had become a full blown migraine.

You my friend, had caught the flu, and the migraine was the first symptom, however, as the day went on your nose was stuffy and you had a horrible cough. You sent a text to your boyfriend, Leon, telling him you had to cancel the date you had as you were terribly sick.

Laying in bed, and trying (and failing) to sleep you heard the door to your apartment open up, and a warm familiar voice call you.

"Babe?" Leon had arrived with no warning what so ever. You coughed instead of responding, but that let Leon know where you were.

"Honey?" He poked his head through the door and saw you laying in bed, a red faced mess with too much tissue paper sorrounding you. "Oh lord" he said starting to enter.

You, in the panic leap up a little "No, no don't come in", Which was follow by a Hard, and painful sting on your throat that made you cough uncontrollably for half a minute. Painful, your chest felt on fire and your throat wasn't much better.

"Jesus Christ" Leon replied as he heard you coughing like you had just came out of a fire, "Yeah no chances of me leaving you alone like that" he said as he began to walk in despite your protest.

To be honest, Leon was quite recilient for those types of Viruses, he had to, or a simple flu may whipe him out during a mission.

He kneeled down in front of you and reached for your forhead, gently pressing his hand on it "Seems like you have a fever", after doing this, He stood up and without a warning, He straight up pulled off all of the soft, chunky blankets you had on.

"No!" You protested, he somewhat ignored that and reached for a very, very thin Blanket. Putting it over you and wrapping you up like a helpless burrito. It didn't do much to help you feel less cold as it was fresh… Meaning, It had no warmth on it.

"sorry, but you can't be burried in those with a fever" he gave a small kiss to your cheek, comforting you "I'll get you a Soaked cloth".

You nodded with a pout as he stood back up again, Heading for the kitchen. As he walked out, you noticed on the floor of your door…. At least three plastic bags full of stuff. "L…leon?" Your voice raspy as your throat was hurt after so much force used to cough.

"yeah?"

"wh..what is all that?"

"I'm not leaving you to take care of yourself in that state".

A soft smile appeared on your lips as he said those words, he had always been protective, it was one of the things that made you fall for him, and it shined through as he came back and put the cold water soaked cloth on your forehead.

A 'tsss' came out of you as it made contact, it was too cold for you and it almost hurt. He gave you another small kiss on your cheek and pet your hair for a moment. "Yeah, i know its uncomfy" he spoke gently.

You thanked him, and he went on to bring the bags to your room, he had gone all out to make sure you had the best care possible.

The first bag was full, and i mean full of medicine, maybe too much… Maybe to the point it would last more than necessary, he knew he was being a little exaggerated but well, at least the next time you got sick you'd have spares; analgesics, cough syrup, Painkillers. All he could think of since you really didn't specify what you had.

Then the second bag, Full of food and water. Instant soup, Noodles, Crackers, some sweats, tea, coffee and more.

"Leon you… didn't need to" the cough interrupted you again.

"But i wanted to, your my partner; I'm gonna take care of you".

The third one was just full of entertainment for you to stay on bed rest, new books, one of those 2000's cheap game consoles with like 5 games, movies, and even cards.

The fourth and hidden bag was just his clothing he could stay as long as necessary.

You were surprised, since it was rare you got sick that bad you hadn't seen Leon pull anything similar. He even got you Pedialyte in case you were dehydrated.

A true keeper.

After a minute he put his hand on your face again "it's going down" his gentle tone as he smiled at you, sitting on the edge of the bed and talking gently about how he'd be your personal nurse for the time you were sick.

You couldn't help yourself but to think, while he looked at you with this soft demeanor, that you needed to get him a ring ASAP.

︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶

He's just a keeper and we know it.

[gingergofastboatsmojito]

Carmy had an anxiety attack and Sydney stopped it

The Bear | 3x3 | Hands

Let us not overlook the fact that this season Miss Adamu ALSO reverted another one of his attacks, just because we focus on her girlboss speech. OK? The girl bossing is great, sure, but that's not the point.

The point is that Carmy was having a stress-induced anxiety attack in the middle of service, which given S2 eps 9 and 10, was bound to happen this season, of course. And Syd stopped it. Very Sydcarmy material, IK. THAT IS THE POINT. But the B side of that point is that so far I saw NO ONE on Tumblr focusing on that part of this scene, unfortunately. Please make my day and correct me if I'm wrong. Show me a post where this guy is showed some compassion when analyzing this scene, and not a post just cheering up on her girlboss one-liner and butch-femme energy. It's like no one cares. Don't get me wrong, I'm ALL ABOUT that girlboss vibe too, one thing doesn't cancel the other one out in my book. But go ahead, show me that post that highlights his anxiety attack too when meta-analyzing that scene, I haven't found it yet. I'm not gonna lie, because of course I prefer to be right than popular: It pains me and infuriates me in equal measure that just because we all love Syd, some people seem to think that's some sort of license to completely disregard Carmy's mental health deprecating by the minute throughout the entire season, in a rather painfully obvious way, since he got out of that walk-in.

Anyway... Moving on. There's more.

Her words or even energy were not what calmed him down and prompted him to get out of the anxiety attack zone and collect himself, it was looking at her eyes. They locked eyes, held their gazes, and only then he was finally able to get it together. In that order, as can be clearly seen in the vid above. It’s the order what matters, he calmed down AFTER locking eyes for a moment, you can see the shift in his energy not as she was telling him she couldn’t babysitter him but AFTER looking at her with piercing eyes for a sec.

Anxiety attacks and panic attacks are not the same. I encourage you to do the research because if you really care you will and this post is not supposed to be educational, I'm not in the mood for that today, this post is cathartic for me. What I will say though is that patients with panic attacks also suffer from anxiety and can also have anxiety attacks. Some even find it hard to differentiate one from the other. Professionals don't. The difference is quite clear: The build-up, the symptoms, the intensity, the duration, etc. Carmy is a C-PTSD textbook case.

The stressor that triggered his anxiety attack this time around was the lack of HANDS, which can also be a metaphor for the lack of help Carmy gets. Syd is pretty much the only one who really helps him. Ever. He's surrounded by people, yet very alone. Granted, he's not the best at asking for help, and he's not the best leader either, and there's only so much Nat can do being in her 3rd trimester and all, etc, so like I said, it was bound to happen to him, and it did, and when it did, Syd put out the fire with her presence and her calm.

She didn't patronize him, he's not a victim around her, he's just himself. He's certainly not cool-relaxed Logan either, she's not his babysitter, and she's just as stressed out as he is, but she compensated his lack of temperance with her peace firmness, and he responded to it. Because even in the middle of an anxiety attack, Carmy never gets his eyes off the prize. HE HAS TO WIN THAT STAR FOR HER, NO MATTER THE COST → She's his star.

Let us please also notice the fact that the C person MADE YET ANOTHER APPEARANCE IN THE MIST OF HIS ATTACK. That's the guilt I mentioned HERE, eating him away inside and causing him apprehension in the least convenient moment because once an anxiety attack strikes, your defenses are down and whatever you are trying to bury deep down your psyche comes up full force. So she keeps contributing to his anxiety even when they're not even together anymore. Classic.

He also thought about the other source of guilt that is eating him away, his fallout with Richie and how his Cousin didn't forgive him yet, even when he apologized to him and told him he loved him.

Another stressor: GUILT.

OK. Thanks for coming to my TED talk about how Syd calms Carmy the fuck down every single time and I need him to do the same for her in the hallway in 04x01 and return the favor, or I will set FX on fire. Because in case you didn't notice, this post was actually about THAT.

Bonus track: To calm down he willingly tried to think of things and people that bring him peace, and not only he definitely didn't think of C at that moment, he thought of Nat, of his time in CA and in Copenhagen, and this time around HE DID NOT ALLOW HIMSELF TO THINK ABOUT SYD, WHO HE KNEW WOULD HAVE ENDED THE EPISODE ON THE SPOT. He deliberately didn't. But she showed up and did the trick anyway:

Remember to follow my tag #Gingerpovs 💋

[morganbritton132]

how do people react to eddie's tiktok about the threats to steve? obviously a lot of people would be horrified and support eddie, but do you think anyone would be mad at him for cancelling so last minute? and what do eddie and steve do about the threats?

There’s a wide variety of reactions, but there’s a lot of support.

The other members of Corroded Coffin were among the first and the loudest to give their support to Eddie. It’s not just that Eddie won’t be in attendance at their meet-and-greet or that he won’t play the show, the whole band cancels. They do this together or not at all. When you attack one of them, you attack all of them and Steve is one of them.

There are celebrities and influencers that come out in support and talk about their experience with hate mail and pushy fans, and some even talk about how their significant other were bullied off social media by fans. And there are fans that give their support.

Eddie doesn’t give a ton of information about what kind of threats they’re getting, but he gives enough to put the pieces together that it’s Steve getting them. A lot of Eddie’s fans remember the video of Steve crying at the neurologist and they feel protective of him. That was such an invasion of privacy and to have someone threatening you on top of that, it’s just too much.

Fans post videos on Tiktok and Youtube, and they make Twitter threads about toxic fandoms and toxic fans, and they talk about how Steve is just a normal guy that didn’t sign up for any of this. Quite literally. He doesn’t even have a Tiktok account. He’s not posting the videos he’s in.

And of course, there are people who are pissed off and there are people that understand but are disappointed. They feel like they’re being punished for someone else’s actions and they make videos about it, and Eddie responds.

He asks, “Tell me how you make yourself leave town when you don’t know if someone is going to try to kill your loved ones? Make that make sense to me.”

He responds to another Tiktok saying, “He didn’t even tell me. He’s been suffering through this shit on his own for months because he didn’t want me to lose this. He didn’t want me to lose Tiktok or concerts, or having a good experience with fans. He didn’t want to ruin that, and some – fucking asshole thought that there was something so egregiously wrong with someone as loving and caring as that, that they wrote a fucking letter to a middle school about how he should kill himself.”

Eddie responds to another, “All of this because he – he – he what? He turned my music down in the car? He doesn’t go to all my shows or – or because he didn’t want to go on a date once after he has a seizure? Sorry that the guy with the fucking head injury sometimes has the symptoms of a fucking head injury.”

Eddie responds, “During the worst time of my life, he saved me. He didn’t even know me, but he saved me and he never expected anything in return, and I can’t even make this better for him. I don’t know how.”

Steve doesn’t want to do anything about the letters that Eddie taped back together. He doesn’t want to take them to the police where they’ll tell them that there’s nothing they can do about it. He doesn’t want to hire a bodyguard or get a new security system, and he doesn’t want to move. He already got kicked out of one house, he’s not letting someone else kick him out of this one.

Steve doesn’t want to do anything, but Eddie can’t do nothing so he goes to the police. He’s famous now – a lot more famous than he was the last time he dealt with the Chicago PD – and they’re helpful. The woman he talks to is sympathetic, though there isn’t much they can do without any identifying marks. There’s no name, no return address, nothing that would lead them to the writer.

But they take his name and make copies of the letters, and they open a file.

It’s not a lot, but it’s enough for Eddie not feel so useless. 

[sysmedsaresexist]

Psych Critical

This post is highly related to this post, and I hope you'll read both. This was written second.

I've sent a couple asks to anti psych blogs talking about my own situation.

My goal isn't to change their minds, but to see what options they think are available to my family. Not every attempt at communication is an attack on a stance. I have real questions.

If there are other options, I'd love to hear them. I want these options to exist. I want more than what my family is going to get.

However, no one has responded to my asks. Maybe they think it's bait and I'm trying to catch them in a trick, maybe they don't know the answer, maybe they don't care (if you're one of those blogs, you've forfeited an opinion on my life).

So I'm going to post, under my own name, and ask again.

This isn't bait. This is my life, my every day normal. This is my father's life, every single day.

Psych Critical is a stance that I don't have a choice in. The psych system is only one thing that my family will turn to for help, and if we don't approach it first, it'll approach us on less kind circumstances. And that's genuinely what we're looking for.

Help.

And I think blanket generalizations like the above are about as useful as trash. I shouldn't have to hate myself and my family for needing help and seeking it out.

My father has something called NF (Neurofibromatosis). You might know this as "elephant man disease," though these are distinct disorders that are different from each other. It's the easiest way to describe it, though. He has tumors all over his body, inside and out, in his case. Visible lumps all over his body.

Unfortunately, these tumors are also on his brain. This causes him to have seizures, strokes, hallucinate, and have bouts of violence towards anyone and everyone. Specifically concerning is the voice of God telling him to punish his (now adult) children, and threatening to harm people based on the colour of their skin and religion. These hallucinations likely stem from the fact that he was raised as an orphan in the church (yes, it's exactly what you think).

There was a time when he could have gotten treatment, but we're past that. Initially, he refused. He was scared, I'm sure he didn't think it would end up like this. Now, he's unable to consent to treatment, and it's so progressed that surgery isn't an option. Chemo never was. To make matters worse, he's an alcoholic, to the point that not drinking will cause seizures and will likely result in death. Not to mention the damage to his liver that's slowly killing him. It's not functioning well these days.

There is no POA or will, and he's not able to consent to signing either. He will not go to any doctors at this point. You can't even have a conversation about this with him. Every plan he's set up on, retirement, pension, disability-- he calls them constantly to fuck around with it, cancel it, take his children's names off it, tell them he doesn't need it. They've stopped talking to him and will only discuss with my mother, despite there being no POA in place.

He is only going to get worse. He is going to die, and he doesn't understand.

My father is already dead. The man that raised me is gone, the man that cared isn't in that head anymore. It's a cruel soul using his body like a puppet until it finally gives out.

At this point... my siblings, mother, and I have had to cut him out of our lives. He's mean. He's so goddamn mean and cruel. His words cut harder than his fists, only because there's nothing left to him. He's skin and bones.

I don't know how much longer my cousin can let him stay there. Then what?

At some point, he will need to be forcibly committed and treated, if only to make him comfortable during his final... years? Months? Days? Because of the unique circumstances, there's likely not a drug that can help curb any of the symptoms. Drugs might be able to get him off the alcohol, but he's not going to like that at all, and that's not what's causing the hallucinations. His memory only gets worse by the day. Simple daily things like using the stove are becoming more of a danger, because he keeps walking away and forgetting.

I have about as much choice in this as he does, and the sooner he's committed, the better for everyone, including him. I mean, he can continue to stay out, and pass out on the streets trying to get home from the bar after getting kicked out for starting fights or getting angry when he's cut off. I don't know if or when he's going to forget the way home, and even if I try not to care... I'm scared.

I fear the day he's picked up by the police. I want him in the legal system even less than the psych system, and I think he'll fight any police that try to approach him. This is a man that, I promise you, would rather be homeless than denied alcohol.

This is not my biological father. He came into my life when I was only 1 year old. My biological father was, surprise surprise, also an alcoholic. He was in a drunk driving accident before I was born that killed other people. He was the driver.

My step dad, the only dad I've ever known, scares me sometimes.

I don't want to be the child of two murderers.

So I ask again, what do you suggest? How is this ableist? Your focus is psychotic people, but that's not the only people in these facilities. That's not the only disease that they treat. I read a couple posts from a linked resource (it's tumblr posts, let's not lie), and one of them mentioned something akin to outpatient treatment. @trans-axolotl because I'm using your post. I actually appreciate the "I don't know" of your answer.

It's a lot better than, "you're ableist for even thinking about this."

Friendos, I don't have a choice but to think about this.

This seemed silly to me, though, because psych wards already act like that. Many of the patients leave during the day to work, shop and visit family, and return at night. Rinse and repeat for them, every day. There's a surprising amount of individualized treatment, freedoms, and steps for each patient.

But not everyone can adhere to that. If my dad got out during the day, he would be drinking, and this would exacerbate the symptoms. He's a dick when he's drunk on the best of days. It's why my mother divorced him originally, before the hallucinations started.

A dry house wouldn't work, either. The places this man has hidden alcohol... he's like a squirrel, it's just everywhere, and he comes across them like,

Inside the WALLS, my guys. Hidden in the basement, the wall goes up to uncovered beams and there's a gap, and he hides them down behind those walls.

Do you know how many spiders are in there? He can fucking drink them, he wins that battle. Touché, dad.

When they tear the house down in the far future, I'm willing to bet they'll find a full liquor store down there. And again, the first time someone says, "you can't bring that in here," he'll turn around and say, "then I'm not going in there, diddles," because his fucking language part of the brain is broken and no matter how many times you explain that "diddle" is a CSA word that you can't just use randomly like that, he forgets.

When I first got married, I had him over to my apartment to spend a few nights. The amount of alcohol that got into my house... I don't even think he brought boxers, just alcohol, and it ended in a fight, and I made him leave. After that, he refused to come visit me. He's never been to my sibling's homes. It was the final straw for me, the things he said to my husband are unforgivable. I keep watch from afar now, talking to my cousin about him.

I said a few paragraphs up that the man that cared is gone. Sometimes, I look back, and I'm reminded of all the doubts growing up that he ever really cared. But I still care, and loving him is painful. The fear of what he's going to do next is even worse.

I want to finish this off with one of my... I don't want to say favorite, but this documentary was one that helped me, a fair bit, when it came out. I'd genuinely like the opinions of anti psych people on this documentary, and the true extent of violence and self harm that some patients display. Heavy trigger warning for severe self harm and violence toward others. Obviously.

For some of these patients, do you see another option for treatment? If not psych wards, what do you suggest happens to some of the patients in the video? What role did the staff actually play in some of the events portrayed?

As a general reminder, this isn't to change minds but open dialogue.

"Psych crits are ableist," is a pretty harsh statement considering the number of people in similar positions to myself. I feel like there's a huge disregard and ignorance for the violence that real people are experiencing.

Again, I'm psych critical, I don't accept the system as it is now, I think there's many improvements to be made. I think there is a need, in a very not small number of cases, for this type of system. I understand and appreciate the intersection of race, poverty and mental health that leads to anti psych sentiments, and I agree. There is a large number of people in psych wards that shouldn't be. This needs to be addressed.

But how do you reconcile both? I can't figure it out. I don't know.

[ladyylavenderrr]

Garak and Psychosis

Very self indulgent little post about instances of Garak displaying behaviors that read to me (or at least can be read) as a symptom of psychosis. I will almost certainly miss some, but I want to compile this together for myself. I completely see Garak as having some kind of psychotic disorder. Most of these examples will come from A Stitch In Time, but we have some from the show as well. Also keep in mind that many of these could be interpreted in a myriad of ways, not just as a psychotic symptom. I’m not claiming any of this is definitive proof or anything of the sort, and Garak’s past as a spy (a profession that by nature demands a lot of paranoia) certainly complicates all of this. That’s not to say this an either-or situation. He can be both psychotic and a former spy and in fact the effect both would have on the other would be quite interesting, as laid out in this post

Again, all of what I say can be interpreted in many different ways, but I just want to have it all written down in one place. Psychosis can manifest in very different ways for different people. Some people might be debilitated by their symptoms, struggling to function without assistance. Others might function just fine most of the time and only experience relatively mild symptoms, though the associated distress isn’t any less important.

Season 6, episode 5 “Favors The Bold”. Garak insists Julian examine him for a some kind of mind reading device put in his head by Starfleet Intelligence. Despite Julian telling him there’s nothing out of the ordinary in his head, Garak doesn’t believe him and insists he keep looking. Came off as a delusion to me, especially since he remains convinced despite evidence proving his delusion false.

Season 4, episode 21 “For the Cause”. Upon meeting Ziyal, Garak becomes convinced that she wants to hurt and kill him. I wouldn’t say her being Dukat’s daughter is enough evidence for the average person to be this worried. In fact, Quark even calls him out on his paranoia and we get this exchange.

GARAK: I was going to cancel. I've had visions of Ziyal presenting my head to her father as a birthday gift. 
QUARK: That's a little paranoid, wouldn't you say? 
GARAK: Paranoid is what they call people who imagine threats against their life. I have threats against my life.

To be fair, Kira warning him to stay away from Ziyal gets him to calm down a bit, or maybe not because he still seems quite apprehensive when he actually meets Ziyal, still afraid she might want to hurt him.

Now to A Stitch In Time.

Part 1, Chapter 7. As Garak helps Parmak dig people out of the rubble of a bombed Cardassia (highly stressful and traumatic situation), he seems to hallucinate a figure. You could read this as metaphorical, but he reacts to and tries to interact with the figure in the real world, which doesn’t come off as a metaphorical way of describing his despair to me.

“I have never lived with despair, Doctor, the way I live with it now. It's almost like a phantom companion that shadows me and casts doubt on whatever I do.

"Why save him?" it asks, as we remove a young boy from the rubble of a school. "You're only keeping him alive for a future of privation and chaos. Wouldn't it be more satisfying to join the burial unit?"

I want to scream at this phantom, to shut it up. Once I turned around suddenly and raised my hand to strike it. When I realized it wasn't there, it was too late. Everyone in the unit was looking at me; I'm sure I must have looked like a madman.”

After this, Parmak gives Garak some pills. He only calls them “relaxants” so it might be a sedative of some kind, but I’m not sure. Either way, Garak hallucinates again after swallowing the pills, panicking as he sees those Cardassian orphans from the episode “Cardassians”. I doubt the pills are hallucinogens, both because Parmak specifically gave them to Garak after witnessing him hallucinating and is seemingly trying to stop that, and because they speak about the hallucinations like an unintended side effect ("I'm afraid they don't react well with me," I explained. “I understand," he said.)

Certain drugs making psychotic symptoms worse isn’t uncommon.

Part 1, Chapter 6. As Garak and the rest of his group in Bamarren are forced to stand still in the heat for what might be hours as part of a training exercise, he begins to hallucinate multiple figures, including his parents (it’s interesting that one of the figures seems to be Palandine, even though neither we nor Garak have been introduced to her yet). If this were the only instance of Garak hallucinating in the book, I wouldn’t assume he has a psychotic disorder since this example has obvious an explanation outside of a mental health issue. People are known to experience hallucinations when suffering from heat stroke. However I’m putting this example here simply because it’s part of a larger pattern of Garak hallucinating multiple times throughout the book. It’s also interesting to note that this scene happens right before the scene of an adult Garak hallucinating that figure with Parmak.

Part 2, Chapter 18. Garak seems to hallucinate as he looks at the frieze. He sees the frieze move and the people painted on it move as well. He thinks some of the figures are he and Palandine but isn’t sure.

“The frieze now began to move in the upward direction. I was too amazed to ask if this was truly happening. People would disappear at the top while more would enter from below.

Certain faces were recognizable, but I didn't know why. Something was also rising within me, an energy moving up my spine to my head, and I began to feel dizzy. Two of the figures could have been Palandine and me, but I couldn't be sure. I was almost nauseous with the energy surging within me. The figures completed the cycle and disappeared at the top. The frieze stopped moving.”

This one can be interpreted in a more metaphorical way than some of the others, but like I said, it could also be another symptom of this potential psychosis.

I’m sure I’ve missed some examples, but you get my point.