#being single for a while was very good and necessary for me after my last couple relationships

[athetos]

I think if I had one good sloppy makeout session I’d be normal again

[palskippah]

Hi! I give you this Stobotnik fankid I made a while ago :'y

She's Sofia --or Ivania or some other name ending in 'ia'-- Robotnik (coolest last name)

It's a compilation and also there's some Stone for practice bc I have no idea how to draw him pipipi Eggman is easier bc it's just his Sonic Boom design (I love it)

Some stuff about this universe under the cut!

(Btw if there's incongruencies is bc I can't make up my mind about the facts whwhw)

-Robotnik and Stone are married, very much married. Cartoon villains in love, I love that for them.

-["MARTHA I'M COMING HOME SWEETIE-"] Mixing up the movie things and the whatever's going on in the Sonic Boom, so Robotnik was gone for eight months and when he's back she's already born.

>Also the drawing is a reference to Icarly's "Whatcha got there?" "A smoothie" but she was clearly asking about the ostrich Spencer brought with him.

>Alternatively, Eggman's there and they go through the journey together yippiee. Choosing names, making evil parenting plans and whatever, being their idiot selves.

(After celebrating because they're good news actually) "I want a boy or a girl-" (Eggman) "Yeah me too." (Stone) "-and we should name them a single, worth of remembering name! Like... Eggette for a girl and Eggson for a boy." "I'm not letting you name them any of that, doctor..." "Okay, then how about Beyonce for a girl and-"

>They wouldn't have kids (?? maybe? I don't really know, I only know sonic boom and the movie :'U)- but she was probably the 1% the birth control warns you about. Also, Stobotnik got a very active seggsual life, and I'm imagining she came to be from a quickie over the desk, why not.

>Helpful diagram of Eggman + Stone kissing and then = baby. They were in work hours.

-In the one where he comes back and the baby's already there, Eggman does a terrible job as a father the few first months, but then he gets the hang of it and it's not so bad.

>He gets projectile vomited on and he's immediately asking to get an abortion (the baby's already born) (he didn't give birth to her), Stone says no anyways.

>"Surprisingly, I'm a good father" he thinks one day and it's because he's still very much an orphan here with no frame of comparation or example aside from researching the matter.

-In the one where they wait for her together, he does all the research necessary in all those months, absolutely refusing in doing an average job in that matter, he's the great Ivo Robotnik c'mon. He excels at anything and he'll be a great father (jk he's terrified of fucking up).

-The Stobotnik family is an evil but loving family, like the bears in Puss in Boots whwh criminal family✨

-For the funny of it, Sonic and Eggman got a sort of relationship like in Sonic Boom, so sometime maybe our favorite boy, Tails and Knuckles had to look after their child.

-Also since Knuckles broke Stone's and Robotnik's hands with their handshake, let's have him handle the baby with the most careful grip ever, just to demonstrate that he didn't have to grab their hands that hard aksdjask

-She's a big fan of Sonic and friends (Sonic the Hedgehog, not Sonic Wachowski, the second guy hadn't done even half the things she admires him for, but no one has the heart to tell her when she's a kid). Has a bunch of merch and all the comics of Sonic the Hedgehog.

>When she's a teenager she proudly uses her Sonic backpack in the same way Deadpool uses his Hello Kitty backpack.

-BTW Sonic, Knuckles and Tails are all brothers and Maddie and Tom's kids bc that's the best idea ever made.

-ALSO I'm definitely gonna draw that scene where Knuckles was about to put the baby in the blender and Sonic shouts THE CHILI DOG NOT THE BABY. Some day, you'll see pipipi.

-SAGE was created for various reasons, to be her sister (since she wouldn't stop asking for one but neither Stone nor Robotnik were willing in raising another human kid, thanks very much), to protect her, and also to answer the tedious "why?" questions that neither father had the patience for (A+ parenting right there). Maybe she was used for the original purpose too idk (I don't know that sonic game where she debuts).

>The child's delighted about having a sister, then she grows up and SAGE doesn't, so she has a little sister.

>METAL SONIC TOO MAYBE? Perfect lil american family, the two happily married parents and their three kids (one human girl, an IA and a robot clone of their alien enemy).

-On her early months she was called Pebble, because she really was a mini Stone, Robotnik went along with it (bc he also looked at her and only saw his husband whw) until she was a little older and they started calling her by her name.

>Alternatively, since Eggman was gone, Stone waited for him to return in hopes of choosing together a name for their child, and Pebble worked as a placeholder since she was just a bebi.

>Alternatively alternatively, Eggman came up with the nickname. ROCK-ONNAISSANCE 🗣️ also yeah I know he was going crazy from the mushroom stuff, but he's not above making silly puns, he's a dad now and also he's naturally silly.

(NGL I really gotta make up my mind about how it all happened ajsdkad)

-She's a spoiled kid and also a little menace, unintentionally evil, she can't help it.

>Good-hearted too sometimes, she loves Sage and does her best to protect her back (it's not necessary but it's appreciated anyways).

-Robotnik calls himself 'daddy' way too much in the live-action movies to ignore it, so he's daddy and Stone's dad (dada when she was younger).

>"These are my daddies!" (points to what's clearly two villains -but also good fathers-)

-She has Robotnik's eyes but as big as Stone's. They're the lethal-est sad puppy eyes ever (they work wonders on both parents and other people) (both men got beautiful dark brown eyes with visible eyelashes fight me).

>Look at Eggman's silly eyelashes:

>Also, you know that picture of Lee Majdoub with the beautiful everything? I think he was wearing eyeliner so my Stone wears eyeliner too in contrast to Eggman's dark circles under his eyes JDJS😭

-She's the five-year-old that made Sonic fear them because 'they can be so cruel when they sense weakness' (she was brutally honest as any young kid is).

-Stone and Robotnik got Gomez and Morticia Addams kinda parenting. They see their child beating up someone and they're like:

"What did we do wrong?" (Stone while shaking his head in disappointment) "I know... she lacks resourcefulness." (Eggman) "Exactly, there's her baseball bat right there, why doesn't she use it?"

-Remember that Shadow said in a game that he wouldn't mind taking a candy from a baby? (fandub I think but still) This comes in handy when neither Tails, Sonic or Knuckles want to upset the kid (so Shadow does it instead).

-She plays sports too because she got too much energy. In each of them she loses her patience. She grabs the football and hauls it at the nearest team member, she throws her baseball bat to the ground and starts beating up whoever threw the ball that she missed, she stomps in frustration if she loses, she's great at dodgeball (sends her classmates to the infirmary).

-Throws tantrums and stuff and overall's an annoying kid if she's upset. Eggman's like UGH WHY'S SHE LIKE THIS?? and Stone's like Because of you, doctor (terrible temperament runs in the family and also Robotnik just spoiled her too much).

-I'm kinda dressing her up in the clothes that existed in my mind that supposedly Eggman wore (the weird dress-like jacket with the big zipper in the middle). Under her jacket there's a dress in the same pattern as the original Eggman's clothes, also she wears a baby onesie like that too.

-When she's older she's definitely proud of her fathers, but she doesn't appreciate the rumors that she's prone to go power-crazy like Robotnik did. Especially because it may be true, but what do they know.

-For the irony, she can't stand drinking coffee, but loves the smell of it because it reminds her of home (omg).

-THEY HAVE A PET CAT like I read in some fics and her name is Robot and she's a lil shit and also grumpy like Robotnik.

>Maybe she brings her alive mice to experiment on all sort of stuff (like Pávlov and his dogs and the guy Skinner with his mice and cats (??))

-She gets to hang out with Sonic and friends under the condition of annoying him as much as possible. So, she complies. (She loves Sonic the Hedgehog, but she loves making her fathers happy more).

-Very smart kid but not to the level of Tails or Robotnik at that age, she's just got very good memory and learning skills and knows a lot of stuff ever since she was a little kid. More like a Matilda-kinda intelligence.

-She's a scientist when she grows up too but the kind that makes evil potions and serums and stuff aksjdk probably (chemistry things? biochem idk). She can make silly little robots for the fun of it but it's not her passion, unlike Robotnik and Stone's. PROBABLY. I'm still deciding.

-BTW LOOK (it says 'carefully crafted ploy to distract space porcupines')

>While Eggman's there with the baby and Sonic in front of him going AWWW BABY BOO and making her laugh, Stone is sneaking up on him holding a chair above his head to knock him out.

THAT'S IT THANKS FOR READING ✨✨

[kakashixhatakesxwhore]

How they sleep...headcanons

Includes my beloved Iruka, darling Kakashi, and dear Itachi (with bonus additions of lovely Shikamaru and sweet Sasuke) GN!Reader

Warnings: tad bit of language, and some raunchy bits (nothing crazy, reader discretion advised), tell me if this sucks

Masterlist💿

Iruka

He loves, loves, LOVES to cuddle

Even on the hottest nights of the year, Iruka still has his arm thrown over you, unable to get valuable sleep unless his bare skin was touching yours

Dies over being little spoon, adores it, and is internally screaming when you pull him close in your sleep

Sleeps in a pair of boxers, with the occasional t-shirt if he expects it to be especially cold in the night - the skin-to-skin contact with you usually keeps him plenty warm

Grinds his teeth in his sleep, and it makes his jaw pop in a painful way - but he refuses to get a nightguard because he heard it would make him drool

His hair gets messy in the night with how much he moves, but they're easy knots

Mumbles in his sleep, nothing coherent unless you prompt him, but he will always reply 'I love you more' even in the deepest slumber

Kakashi

Sleeps like the dead

If he's truly comfortable, Kakashi could sleep through a tornado without so much as a stir

That said, you will be locked into whatever position you fall asleep with him in, and he insists upon falling asleep with his limbs entangled with yours

Kakashi goes through violent hot and cold swings in the night, because his internal thermostat is broken - he doesn't move a muscle, used to the sweats/chills, but it prompts you to move around him according to the temperature swings

Gets multiple erections during the night

Has about fifty pairs of pyjama pants, some even have matching shirts, but will almost always fall asleep in his boxers

Sometimes, even if he does fall asleep with pyjama pants, he'll take them off in a half asleep daze at some point in the night

Goodnight kisses are a must every single night and good morning kisses are necessary every single morning, Kakashi's favourite part of getting to sleep next to you was the fact that your face was the first and last he saw in a day

Groans in his sleep, occasionally sighs your name, but is very silent and still, except for his face, scrunching up every ten minutes it seemed

Itachi

Goddamn somebody get this emmaciated man a warm bed and a long cuddle

He doesn't sleep much, and when he does, it's not continuous

Clenches his jaw while he sleeps, making it pop and lock throughout the night

Needs everything to be pitch dark and quiet as church service for him to hit even Stage 3 sleep, Itachi sleeps like a cat and will rouse with any noise

Frequent nightmares, and if he's having a peaceful sleep, it's dreamless

Sleeps best after a few orgasms

Loves feeling your body curled against him, so much so that even while sleeping, he'll stroke your back and whisper his adorations

Itachi always wakes up first and then stares at you until you wake up, he might play with your hair a little, but otherwise will just watch you sleep soundly

When you wake up, if there's time, he'll roll around with you, cuddling and kissing for an hour or two before he starts getting antsy to get up

Shikamaru

Falls asleep as soon as his head hits the pillow, but that never stops you from cuddling up close

About twice a week, he falls asleep fully clothed, and you have to peel the clothes off his uncooperative ass or else he'll get all whiny in the morning, waking up in yesterday's clothes without a hangover

Truly a sweetie, Shikamaru's always pulling at you while he sleeps - never hard enough to pull you right to him, but enough for your unconscious mind to get the hint

Favourite thing is spending entire mornings with you in bed, talking, cuddling, smoking

Ticklish as hell so you cannot just be wandering your hands over him while he's sleeping; he'll smack you away harshly and turn away (but not remember anything in the morning)

Will fully open his eyes and sit up at various points in the night, say something strange, then just go back down

You keep a small notebook to write down the ones you catch because you love how embarrassed Shikamaru gets to hear what he was saying in his sleep (he lowk finds it interesting as hell though)

Goes through phases where he cannot sleep, but hates it when you insist on staying up with him

Nah jk he loves the fact that you're willing to disrupt your own schedule for him but would never ever ask you to do so himself

Sasuke

Has a very long getting ready process; including a 40-minute long bathroom routine, the selecting of pyjamas, then he might like to read a book to fall asleep in lieu to cuddling with you

Spending so many formative nights without so much as a goodnight from someone he cared about forced him to start this process as a way for him to say goodnight to himself

Likes it when you join him, but if he's had a long day, prefers to do his routine alone

While he reads, or stares out the window wistfully, he's not opposed to you lying on his chest and will kiss your forehead as you drift off to his heartbeat

Sasuke's always cold, so you guys have quite the thick duvet and he's always wrapped to the chin when you wake up

He prefers to wake up first, preparing tea for two before he wakes you up as gently as he knows how to

Gets out of bed immediately after opening his eyes, always ready to start the day (though much to his chagrin)

[pouralaura]

Sorry, this is probably weird. But my brain is Raphael 24/7 and he and Tav being obsessed with each other. But I was wondering how he’d react to a demi Tav?

He’s crushing and trying to impress for the longest time, and they are completely unphased. Like nothin’, nada. I’m sure he’d be frustrated. But also perplexed? He’s always been able to charm his way with people. So he meets this unmovable person and he’s like ???

But then imagining later on, Tav’s feelings for him suddenly hit them like a fucking train. All of their obsession with HIM hits like tenfold. He is the sexiest being in existence, and they are stupidly in love with him, and they are PANICKING.

I may be the only one who finds this particular scenario intriguing but 😅

Disclaimer: I am not well-versed in demisexuality and this is my first time writing it, so please pardon any lack of necessary nuance here. thanks to @reallyhatethiswebsite for helping me figure out the trigger point! they/them AFAB Tav, Raphael POV.

--

Had Raphael ever, in all of his hundreds of years, experienced such a maddening, tantalizing, mouthwatering proximity to victory? Every hellish fiber of his being thrums in anticipation of his looming triumph. The Crown, so close, its pull so alluring. The augury of his reign launches his mind into a state of utter bliss outside of business hours (and, frankly, often during), a grin on his face and his cock hard as a diamond beneath the quilting of his luxuriously expensive trousers. He is, simply put, so close.

There remains but a single obstacle in his way: a lost, floundering little mouse, so unprepared and ill-equipped for success -- at least, at first. Raphael had been pleasantly surprised at Tav's capability for mortal achievement once they'd gotten their feet underneath them. His respect for them grew as their conquests did; they'd proven an apt ally for many and a fearsome adversary for many more.

Flawed as they are, Tav is perfect for his plan. Raphael has every faith that they will be his savior (in a manner of speaking) now that the time is drawing near. They must succeed. They will. Such a headstrong, belligerent creature; all the sweeter to become the victor -- and, in line with that, to claim himself.

(More on that in a moment.)

He's ruminating on this, as he has near-incessantly in recent months, while strolling back to the Devil's Den from deeper within the city. Maintaining chivalrous relations with his hosts at Sharess' Caress is mandatory; he pauses at the front desk to brush a kiss across the delicate knuckles of the blushing Amira, inclines his head in polite greeting to various good-natured courtesans, and stops to exchange pleasantries with Hoots at the bar before ascending the stairs to his domain of the Gate. Trivial pursuits, but necessary.

(Back to the matter at hand --)

Yes, he will claim Tav himself.

...This point requires further clarification. He will claim Tav as a step to his own conquest. They will fulfill a contract with him. If it happens that they also wish for his claim in a more decidedly carnal way, what manner of devil would he be to deny them? A favor for a favor, after all.

But, alas, they'd proven nearly unmovable in that last respect. It's far from the first time Raphael has experienced, either implicitly or explicitly, rejection of his incomparable devilish charms -- but, to be fair: nearly all of the aforementioned occurrences had been caused by an innate preference for the fairer sex. Their loss, perhaps; but it simply couldn't be helped -- and certainly not a stain on his ego.

(Tav, for what it's worth, however, does not seem limited by such preferences. Near-flawless reconnaissance is a gift and a curse; Raphael is very much aware of their blessedly brief dalliance with the insufferable vampling.)

Such hopes for mutual understanding on levels to-be-determined had been dashed, indeed, until a particular point of curiosity earlier in the week, when Tav and their ragtag gang of unappealing ruffians had met him upstairs at the Caress following his confrontation with the inestimable Kith'rak. Voss had left, and Raphael had snapped his fingers to shield Tav and their party from the detestable illithid shouting about in their heads --

The devil had watched figurative clicking cogs turn between the little mouse's ears for several seconds as they processed the assumedly blissful silence he'd fleetingly gifted them.

"I don't...hear anything." Tav's voice had been quiet. Surprised.

"You are, as always, welcome." He'd smugly spread his arms, inclining his head in a mock bow. "My favorite future client deserves nothing if not the very best I can offer."

There were no differences in how he'd behaved on this occasion, but the way Tav looked at him after his effortless momentary aid was far more layered than during any previous encounter. And, if he was correct -- colored by the hint of a blush, one that he could smell before he could see. The scent of blood rising to their cheeks, dusting their pretty countenance with just a trace of something. A crack. A break.

Perhaps.

Delicious.

He nears the door of the Devil's Den, and...stops.

There is a familiar scent in the air; one he did not expect to be greeted by upon his return to The Office. It's them.

His little mouse is inside. Must have climbed through a window, leapt across rooftops to reach the one opening he leaves regularly and intentionally unwarded for just this precise possibility.

(Korrilla, behind his back, raises her eyebrows at this deliberate lapse in security each time it's included in his instruction. She's lucky he doesn't snap the bones in each of her toes one-by-one.)

Cautiously, he wills the hellish locks to open. Carefully, he presses long, tanned fingers to the door's handle. With deliberation, he pushes into the room.

It takes him two point three seconds to register that Tav is not only in the room, but on their back on the rich, plush red duvet-covered bed, propped up on their elbows, staring straight at him with the loveliest blush dusted across the apples of their cheeks. He steps stiffly into his domain, letting the heavy wooden door close and lock behind him with a decided click. Another seven point eight seconds to close the distance between them (he slinks across the room slowly, like a cat); a full nine seconds, once he's arrived at the bedside, to drink in Tav's nakedness from head to toe -- well, except for the whipped cream adorning the tips of their breasts, if one could call that any sort of coverage. And -- ah. An amber liquid filling the divot of their belly button.

His mouth curls up into a satisfied little smirk. They have been paying attention.

"Are you here to accept my offer, little mouse?" Raphael finally asks, low and warm and purring.

He watches them swallow. Breathe. Follows the red flush as it spreads, heated, down their neck, between their cream-laden breasts, around their liquor-filled navel, all the way down to the lovely pink of their vulnerable, exposed, undeniably glistening sex.

"I am not. At least, not yet." In a contrast to their blush, Tav's voice is strong and level as they continue despite Raphael's responding sneer. "I am here to make one of my own."

"And what, pray tell," the devil bites out, voice tinged with the familiar mix of irritation, intrigue, and damning arousal this creature heralds within him, "might that be?"

"I'm inclined to accept, but only following further discussion." They grin. "But over dinner, here. And...you'll need to do something about my --" here they motion to the confectionary disaster writ upon their flawed, mortal body, beneath him in every way -- "current state."

He'll play along, if only to ease the tightness in his trousers.

Less than ten minutes later, when Raphael is laving his forked tongue along the underside of Tav's breast, lapping up the last of the cream and holding himself back from spilling onto the sheets beneath them, he thinks: I am in control.

Tav moans as he bites; as he presses his face between their thighs, a ragged whine bubbles up from his throat, hot and needy.

They'll be mine yet.

[charmedreincarnation]

Hello! How are you? I am very good for now. because after trying for over a year I switched to void state last night very easily! it was an incredibly amazing experience for me. I stumbled upon your account on tumblr a few days ago, I saw a lot of people have succeeded with the method you suggested! I felt so happy for them!

Now I will tell my own success story.

I used to be so obsessed with it that I was just procrastinating and "trying" to get into the void when I had so much work to do whenever I had free time.

Throughout this process, I always thought that I would not succeed and always went back to the beginning. I was very bad with everyone around me, I was constantly fighting and exposed to violence. In short, I was experiencing hell on this earth.

Months passed and I decided to focus on my life a little bit. I tried to think positively and convince myself how easy it was for me to manifest. But there was one very important thing that I forgot, all the evil forces in this hell were coming only on me, only me.

I spent the whole of last year and the first months of this year like a living dead...

But in these last few days, I have made a decision that will radically change my life. Before, I tried every method to enter void constantly, but something was not going well every time. So I decided that it would be easier and more useful to just assume that I woke up there, rather than making dozens of efforts to enter void 2 days ago.

THE DAY I FINALLY ENTERED THE VOID CONSCIOUSLY!

I didn't listen to the subliminal, I just did a 20-minute meditation, my wish to revisit life in more detail. At the end of the meditation, I said only one affirmation: I will wake up in void tonight.

I wasn't tired and very sleepy that night (these are usually what people think is necessary for a void).I just lay on my bed in my usual position and affirmed that I would wake up in void at night. After that I already went straight to sleep.

I woke up in the middle of the night, I didn't move. The sounds were so muffled, it's like you're listening to a song through a broken earpiece, that's how I heard it. I stayed like that for a few minutes, then the sounds suddenly stopped and I felt myself being pulled into the darkness. My heart was beating so fast, so I focused on calming myself. I couldn't feel my body anymore, as if someone was separating my soul from my body and floating it in a vacuum of space. That's when I realized that I really succeeded! And I calmed down for a while and then said my affirmations. I didn't make a special list, so I said it all one by one.

My manifests:

The face and body I dreamed of down to the smallest detail

My desired name, surname(i have two names in different languages)

My dream room and house with all the items on my Pinterest board(There were almost 50K pins on the board I mentioned...)

I overhauled my father as someone else entirely. With his nationality, zodiac sign, appearance, name.(I also added that he is a person who gets along perfectly with his 4 children and his wife!)

I made my mother younger in appearance, not in age, I also wished her a happy and peaceful life in every way.

As for our financial situation, my father is an extraordinarily wealthy businessman, we own the largest house and the most luxurious car in my city. We also have 4 modern apartments and 1 huge villa in another city! It does not end with these, we also have houses in America, France, England!

I also manifested new phone and other electronic gadgets.

We are 4 siblings in the family and we all get along very well, no hurtful words and no violence!

I have a private room for my unfinished clothes in my room and a very nice bathroom adjacent to my room!

I also manifested success in the lessons: no matter how long the paragraph is, it stays in my mind only once I read it and I never forget it! I do not have a single error in all the tests I have solved.

We have a total of 4 pets including 2 cats and a puppy and a husky dog. Our garden is huge, with a big swing, a covered area to sit in in the winter, and lots of lavender flowers, white roses!

By the way, I manifested that I have lived this life from the beginning, so our house is full of memories we have accumulated with my siblings and parents since childhood, our childhood photos everywhere, emotional diaries my mother wrote when she was pregnant.

I also manifested new friends to myself: one of them is famous (keep this part private lol), I wished to meet him since childhood. Apart from her, I also have a male friend who is our family friend and my best friend who lives with us.

That's all I wanted, I left everything else to my subconscious and my last sentence before leaving the void was "I will open my eyes to the life I dreamed of".

Finally, when I came out of the void, I heard my brother's voice, scolding me for turning off the air conditioner in my room and leaving it on until morning, and saying that he would be very upset if I got sick. (it did indeed come true more perfectly than I had imagined! )

The reason why I wrote my success story and the life I manifested at length is this: most people limit their desires and try to make do with less. Believe me, I was thinking the same way a month ago, thinking that living the life I wanted was unfair to the people in my life. But lately, thanks to what those people did to me, I realized that all this time I had been unfair to myself, not to them. After realizing this, I reminded myself that I only deserved the life of my dreams.

And now that I'm who I should be, I'm pretty happy with it. I can't thank you enough  my dear. The success stories you shared motivated me a lot and helped me take action.

I am so proud of you my love. I absolutely adore revision stories as well as the usage of intention which is my personal favorite method. No method is stronger than your will to have your desires. Thank you so much for sharing your story and I hope you continue to always live your best life <3

[lightlycareless]

Don't mind me, I'm just posting a little something that I had in mind, a continuation of Naoya's and Y/N's many HS adventures :) in other words, their first official Valentine's Day.

warnings: fluff. a tiny small hint of smut, implied by someone else. please read this part first followed by this other one to get the full picture!! and I guess this too.

Happy reading :)

Your first valentine’s day with Naoya—like, the actual one and not the fiasco that transpired last year—is one that has you very excited. And how couldn’t you?! Naoya had been very… enigmatic when preparing you for today.

“Clear out your schedule after school, princess. All the way down to the weekend.”

“Huh? Why?” you ask, feigning ignorance—as if you weren’t waiting for this exact moment since you started dating him. “What are you going to do?”

“I don’t know, guess you’ll have to wait and see.”

But you couldn’t wait! Not at all! In fact, such was your excitement that you could barely get any sleep— it was a miracle that you managed to get a few hours of rest before eagerly jumping out of bed, getting ready, and subsequently making your way to class while fervently imagining all the surprises Naoya had in store for you.

Well, whatever it was, there was no doubt in your mind that it would be much better than whatever your classmates discussed—glad that you no longer felt out of the conversation, not entirely that is, for you still had to figure out what your boyfriend was planning…

Thankfully, it wouldn’t take long for you to see the first details of his extensive itinerary, much to your eventual embarrassment.

It would begin with the so-called cupid’s mail service, a way for the student council to take advantage of help couples who wished to send gifts to their significant other’s while raising funds for whatever expenses they might have—such as graduation costs, school trips, so on and so forth.

Last year you were undoubtedly upset for not being sent anything throughout the day, so this time around, Naoya made it his personal mission to not let that happen again, under any circumstance!

And what extravagant way to assure so.

“Senseeeeei, can you give us a moment to deliver the mail?”

Teachers were no strangers to the excessive ways enamored students got to be when prompted—however, none of them had experienced a besotted Naoya, an heir with all possibilities within his grasp motivated to impress his beloved.

“Sure, go ahead.” The sensei responded, barely glancing at the mountain of gifts that made him assume they’d be here for a long time and returning to the blackboard; readying whatever subject followed to retake class once they were gone.

However, as soon as he began his attention would be forced back onto the students the moment they collectively gasped, realizing that the gifts didn’t pertain to various senders, no. Only one—and with a sole receiver too: you.

“All this for you, Y/N, how lucky!” Mei Mei says while placing down a large bouquet of red roses on your desk. “To think that last year you didn’t get a single thing until the very end… you truly are one fortunate girl.”

“Is this—is this really all for me?” You murmur, still in disbelief that Naoya had gone above and beyond with his gifts—but isn’t he always like this, though?

“Oh, this is just for the first class, your beloved boyfriend scheduled more for later.”

“Wh—what?” you breathe, turning even redder, comparable to the roses in front of you. Mei Mei chuckles at the curious sight. “M—more?”

“Don’t forget the note.” she says, plucking an envelope from the bouquet and handing it over to you. “Now, say cheese~”

“Huh, what now?” You stammer, then startled by the bright flash of her cellphone, recollecting the so-called proof Naoya demanded of the goods being delivered—he didn’t want to risk being played the same card he applied last year, this was only a necessary request.

“Well, my job here is done. Have a nice Valentine’s Day, Y/N; Naoya sure is expecting you to have one.”

…

…

…

“Need another desk?” The teacher would suggest after seeing you awkwardly trying to continue with your work through all the items cluttering your counter.

“…yes, please.”

And as Mei Mei promised, more gifts came soon after—from expensive boxes of chocolate from brands you’ve never even heard of in your life, to jewelry and other things you once mentioned wanting before: like a new case for your phone, a cute shirt you saw at the mall (with an additional gift card of a exuberant amount in it if you wished more) and of course, all the mochi you could eat.

Everyone around you wouldn’t take long to begin murmuring about your situation, commenting on how they never expected Naoya to be so passionate about his girlfriend—or anything that wasn’t berating others!

Yet, here he was, spoiling you with all things unimaginable, and that was barely to be the tip of the iceberg.

“Well, at least Naoya had the decency to help you move all these things to your dorm” Shoko commented as she watched the group of students Mei Mei ordered to relocate all of your gifts, work. “Don’t think you would’ve been able to do all that by yourself.”

“No, I wouldn’t.” you breathe, still embarrassed by all that transpired. Being the center of attention is something you never handled well, and more often than not, you tried to pass under the radar.

And yet, as much as you disliked it, it was impossible for you to not enjoy it this time around, for it came from something so sweet as your boyfriend wanting to show his ever-growing adoration for you.

“All this is so excessive, Y/N. I can’t help but wonder what you gave him to evoke all this?”

“I don’t recall anything in particular… I just gave him some chocolates I made.” You murmur, Shoko chuckles. “What?”

“It’s ok, no need to act coy with me. I just know you must’ve given it to him real good.”

“Oh. My. God. Shoko!” you gasp, eyes wide as your friend added onto your embarrassment. Just what you needed!

“Ugh, that is so gross.” Satoru would scowl; the only reason why he was around was to check if the rumors were true, see if Naoya had truly become even more unhinged in the name of love. “I would never do anything like that for a woman.”

“Mmm… maybe not for a woman; but what about a man?” Shoko teases, Gojo quickly becomes flustered, doing what many couldn’t: silence him. “That’s what I thought.”

“Whatever… at least I’m not the one being humiliated—look.” Satoru would then nudge to the person standing by the end of the hallway—a nervous Naoya waiting for you while holding another bouquet of flowers, this time purple roses accompanied by a small Gengar plush in the middle; a sight that has you freezing on the spot, overwhelmed by his seemingly endless gestures of appreciation and all those that were to come.

“We’ll leave you two alone.” Shoko says, grabbing Satoru by the arm and pulling him away. “Have fun!”

“Thanks, Shoko.” You murmur before shyly making your way towards your boyfriend, staring at him for a few seconds, finding the right words to say before settling for a simple greeting. “He—Hey, Naoya…”

“Hello, princess.” Naoya manages to say through the tightness of his throat, excited to see you after a long day of schoolwork, and worried that you might’ve not liked his gifts.

That, of course, is something that wouldn’t perturb him much longer after seeing the way you happily received the flowers from his grasp, a wider smile on your lips as you relished their smell and decoration.

“Did you like your gifts?” He asks, placing his arm around your waist and pulling you closer; your heart skips a beat as you lean into him.

“Ye—yeah… I liked all of them.” You admit with a nod. “They were… really nice. Thank you.”

“I wanted to make it up to you, for the shame I put you through last year.”

“Oh, Naoya—don’t say that.” You fret, wanting to leave that in the past. “It was nothing but a misunderstanding…”

“I still made you feel bad, and that is something I will never forgive myself for.”

“Well, if you must know… today succeed all Valentine’s days I’ve ever had.” You happily declare, much to Naoya’s unexpected concern.

“I fear I might’ve shoot myself on the foot, then.”

“Why?”

“Because I’ve set the bar too high, I’m not sure if I’ll be capable of surprising you next year.”

“Just spending the day with you is enough for me.” You gently reassure, making Naoya’s heart melt.

“Then I think what I have planned next might be of your liking.”

“Wait, you have more?”

“I did ask you to clear out your schedule for the rest of the week, didn’t I?” Naoya teases,

“Yes…”

He then reaches for his pocket to take out a set of two tickets—the biggest surprise yet.

“I got us a reservation to visit that park you wanted to go to—Disneyland, I believe? From the accommodations to the transportation, I’ve taken care of everything, all my pretty princess needs to do is be ready by—wait, Y/N? Y/N!”

You don’t remember much after that, outside of an overwhelming shock and happiness that deafened and blinded your senses, leading you to assume that you simply… passed out.

[bwabys-scenarios]

Pampering

Kurapika x Fem!Reader x Leorio

!!REBLOGS APPRECIATED!!

warnings: period sex, breeding, cockwarming, reader gets eaten out on her period, cum eating, threesome

A/N: this is super self indulgent, I woke up to my period and needed to write something sweet and comforting with my favorite boys<3

summary: If Kurapika and Leorio can agree on one thing when it comes to you, it’s that you deserve all the love and pampering in the world. So when you get your period in the middle of the night, they’re determined to make you as comfortable and happy as possible, given the situation.

taglist: @desiray562 @lovelyxkazuha @ashdownunderscorebeloved @stygianoir

if you would like to be added to the NSFW taglist, comment a ❤️!! make sure you have your AGE in your bio, and that you’re able to be tagged/mentioned!

On most nights, you slept in bed with Kurapika. These days, after gathering all of his clans eyes and giving up on his vengeance with the Phantom Troupe, Kurapika became a stay at home boyfriend and you a stay at home girlfriend. Kurapika didn’t have to work, he had enough money from his days as a blacklist Hunter to last him several lifetimes, and neither of your boyfriends ever allowed you to spend a single dime on anything but yourself. Even then, they still just LOVED to pamper you.

Leorio often worked night shifts at the local hospital, and came back in the early morning for some sleepy cuddles with you. This left you and Kurapika alone together during the night.

This night was no different. Kurapika had held you, whispering words of love and adoration as the two of you fell asleep. Unfortunately, the blonde had a tight grip on you, even in his sleep, which meant when you woke up covered in blood, you had to wake him up too.

“(Name)? Oh, oh my god are you okay?”

The blonde immediately began to panic, his eyes searching you for any wounds before you stopped him. “It’s not like that, I’m okay. It’s…”

You become flustered, looking away from your boyfriend. “I started my period.”

He seems relieved, but his expression switches back to worry in an instant. “Are you in pain? Are you supposed to bleed this much? Shit, Leorio knows more about this sort of thing than me…”

Kurapika notices your flustered expression. “(Name), my angel, what’s wrong?”

“… I made a mess, this is really embarrassing for me.”

He blinks, glancing down at the blood stained sheets before his eyes soften. “My angel, there’s nothing to be embarrassed of. You can’t help it, your menstrual cycle is natural.”

Kurapika holds onto your hand, leaning forward to kiss your forehead. “I’ll start you a bath, then wash the sheets while you clean up, okay? Good thing you thought to buy extra sets of sheets. Neither Leorio or I thought it was necessary. You have all the common sense, that’s our lovely girlfriend for you.”

You blush, and allow him to carry you to the bathroom. You cringe when you spot a patch of blood on his sleeve from holding onto you, but he simply drops his shirt into the hamper.

Kurapika starts you a bath, helping to undress you. He’s a very hands on boyfriend, and has a bad habit of babying you, but in this moment you really appreciate how sweet and caring he is. He places your dirtied clothes in the hamper before leaving to wash the sheets.

You sit in the warm water, letting it soothe your cramping body. A few minutes later he returns with a new set of pajamas and panties for you. “I hope this is okay, I picked out something more soft and comfortable.”

When you start to cry he quickly scampers to pick up the pajamas. “Y-you don’t like these? I can get you a different pair-“

You shake your head and he stops. “No, sorry I’m just feeling emotional right now. You’re being so sweet to me, I just…”

He kneels next to the bathtub, pulling you closer and placing a kiss on your cheek. “Shh, I’m just doing what I’m supposed to do as your boyfriend. You deserve all the love and sweetness in the world, let me take care of you, okay?”

Kurapika helps you out of the bath, giving you reassuring kisses as he dries you off. He offered to help dress you and even help put your pad on, but you shooed him out of the bathroom. “I can do that myself!”

The blonde sat in the bedroom waiting for you, his eyes a little tired. When you finally walk out of the bathroom, he smiles, tucking you into bed before climbing in with you.

As you fall asleep, he texts Leorio, updating him on the situation. Just like Kurapika, he becomes worried, instructing the blonde on how to help soothe your cramps and take care of you until he gets home.

———————

You wake up to the sounds of someone rustling around in your shared bedroom’s closet. A soft groan escapes your lips, causing the noise to stop. “(Name), are you awake? Are you hurting?”

Kurapika crouches down next to you, pushing your hair out of your face to get a good look at you. “Yeah, I am cramping a bit…”

The blonde sighs, seemingly pained to know you aren’t feeling well. “I see, it’s good that Leorio told me some ways to soothe your pain. I just found the heating pad, would you like it?”

That explains the rustling sound. You nod, and he plugs the heating pad up, placing its cover over it before laying it on your abdomen. “Mmm…”

He seems beyond relieved when you relax at the comforting heat, his head moving to rest on your lap. “Is that helping, love?”

“Yes, I’m already feeling better. I think…” you yawn, playing with his hair, causing him to nuzzle further into your lap. “I think I’ll sleep in a little…”

“That’s perfectly fine with me, angel. You need your rest.”

He sighs contentedly. “Leorio will be home in a few hours, he’s going to grab some more pads and little treats for you on the way home.”

You nod sleepily, your fingertips caressing your cheek. “That’s so… sweet..”

You drift off again, and eventually feel Kurapika climb back in with you. The two of you share the warmth of the heating pad. Sometimes, you swear your boyfriend has to be half cat with the way he almost purrs and insists on cuddling with you, nuzzling into your body as much as he can.

When you woke up next, it was to the smell of breakfast foods. This confused you however, since you’re the only person in the relationship that can cook.

“Yeah, yeah I got the chocolates. And some extra Midol.”

You move out of bed, stepping into your bunny slippers before walking into the living room.

Your boyfriends were standing in the kitchen nearby, unloading groceries and looking over a few takeout boxes. “Guys?”

The two look up, both giving you a worried look before they rush towards you. “Princess, are you feeling any better? After you eat I can give you some Midol.”

Leorio hugs you, his big, warm hands rubbing gently at your lower back. Although you’ve dated Kurapika longer, the blonde wasn’t around much, so you spent a lot more time with Leorio, even before you started dating him too. He knew where your aches were and how to make you feel better, and you sigh in relief when he massages your sore spots.

“‘Mmm… yeah, I’m starving. Kurapika, how long did I sleep in?”

The blonde peeked at her from behind Leorio, pushing the tall man out of his way before giving her a hug of his own. “Its only 11 am, you didn’t sleep in long. I just woke up an hour ago myself, so I got some cleaning done.”

And you start to tear up again, giving him a kiss. “I love you both, so much…”

You pull Leorio in for a kiss of his own, hugging your boyfriends tight. The two smile and kiss your cheeks, laughing. “Okay princess, let’s get you fed.”

———————

After eating some waffles, eggs, and sausage for breakfast, Leorio gives you some Midol and plops you down on the couch. He’s quick to sit with you, pulling up into his lap so he can massage your lower back and abdomen.

“Ahh…”

You sigh contentedly, almost mewling. This alone was enough to make the both of them clear their throats, but when you start to push Leorio’s hand down your tummy until his finger dips under the waistband of your panties, suddenly there’s something poking into your ass.

“(Name)?”

Leorio swallows, but you seem oblivious to how the situation looks. You’re just wanting him to massage where it hurts. “Hurts… right here…”

Kurapika sits next to the two, pulling you a little closer so he could help massage you. “Leorio, get your mind out of the gutter.”

He pulls you into his lap, slipping his hand under your panties to rub exactly where you asked. “Is that better, angel?”

You sigh in contentment, nuzzling into his chest. “Mhm…”

Leorio huffs, scooting closer to pull you until you’re sitting in both of their laps. “I can put aside any horniness for my princess…” he says softly, gently massaging your sore breasts.

You feel so happy and content as your boyfriends do their best to make you feel better. They’re so sweet, giving you reassuring kisses and soft touches when you feel pain because of a cramp or ache.

“How does takeout for dinner sound, princess?”

You nod, stretching a little. “Mmm… I wanna bath… the warm water helps…”

Neither of them argue, despite the fact you took a bath earlier. Leorio carries you to the bathroom as Kurapika starts the bath, the two undressing you before undressing themselves.

When the three were picking an apartment, they made sure there would be enough room for the three of them to bathe and sleep together. It would only be fair, because if only one of the got to hold you at a time, jealousy would rise between them.

Once in the bath, you sat between Kurapaiks legs as Leorio washed you, taking his time to massage the soap into your skin. “You’re tense, hopefully this will help…”

As a doctor, Leorio worries over you constantly. He just wants the best for you, and can’t pamper you enough, especially when you’re hurting.

He reaches your pussy, glancing up at you for your permission before he washes you. He knew not to use any soap there, gently rubbing to clean you. “That feel okay, princess?”

Kurapika reaches for your breasts as Leorio’s thumb rubs circles into your clit. “Mhm… feeling… a lot better…”

You feel Kurapika’s cock harden against your back, and can see Leorio’s sticking out of the water. “Mmm…”

You wiggle a little, scooting so your hips lined up with Kurapika’s. He smiles, sliding into you, keeping you balanced in his cock as the two tend to you. “That’s my pretty girl. I heard sex is supposed to help relieve some of the pain during your period.” Leorio says, leaning forward to lock your lips with his as he stimulates your little bundle of nerves.

It feels nice to have Kurapika inside of you while the two pamper you. Leorio scrubs your hair, moaning when you stroke his needy length. “Mmph, thank you princess…”

Kurapika whispers sweet words of love and adoration as he washes you, lathering soap over your tits. “You’re so pretty, (Name). My precious angel, I’d do anything to make you feel better.”

You make such cute sounds, Leorio can’t help but speed up his movements, rinsing off your tits before taking a nipple into his mouth. “Hnn, Leorio!”

Kurapika gasps softly, holding onto your thighs. He tries not to bounce you on his cock, if you wanted him to move you would ask him, instead, he just focused on the feeling of you squeezing around him. “Mm, fuck (Name)…”

He massaged your breast as Leorio suckled on the other one, pushing you close to your climax. “G-gonna!”

You cum, squeezing Kurapika’s cock and moving your hand around Leorio’s faster. They both groaned, but didn’t cum. They finished washing you, helping you out if the bath and dressing you in pajamas. It wasn’t night time, but they wanted you to be as comfortable as possible.

Though they still pamper you and take care of you, their touches linger in certain places, and you can tell they’re still horny. Honestly, your hormones are Nanking you got and bothered too, and after dinner you whine and pull them both into bed. “P-please… I want… I want you both so much…”

And how can they say no when their precious princess was in pain and needy?

Leorio was quick to tug off his pants, Kurapika running to the bathroom to grab a towel to place under your hips. “Hey, wait a second Leorio!”

He pouts at his friend, then lifts up your hips so Kurapika can place the towel under you. “Thank you, Pika. That’s a good idea…” you coo, and he comforts you as Leorio pushes into your bloody cunt.

“F-fuck, so good princess…”

You whimper, and Kurapika shushes you with sweet kisses, propping your head up on his lap as he plays with your hair. “It’s okay, angel. Such a good girl, taking it so well…”

He gives you his fingers to suck on as Leorio thrusts into you. Leorio is gentle, his movements more sensual and loving than usual. This is all for you, to help your pain and to make you feel better, his own pleasure comes second. He wants to pound into you, make you gasp and whine out his name, but he takes his time, leaning down to suckle on your breasts.

Leorio keeps his hands on your hips, whispering sweet nothings into your ears. Kurapika can feel his cock hardening in his pants, and it pokes into your cheek. You give him a smile, placing a kiss on his bulge. “Love you… love you both more than anything…”

Leorio pulls out and cum on your tummy, a little bit of your blood dripping from his cock turning his cum a pretty pink color. Kurapika takes this chance to pull you into his lap, his cock out and ready for you.

“C’mon angel, let’s get you filled up. Gonna have my baby, right?”

You nod frantically, whining and wiggling your hips. “P-please! C-cum inside me lots!”

Leorio takes a moment to recover before sitting in front of the two of you as Kurapika bounces you on his cock, the dark haired man smiling and rubbing your blood soaked thighs. “You’d be so cute with a little baby bump, princess.”

Although Leorio doesn’t want to be the one to get you pregnant yet, he still desperately wants to see the changes your body would go through. Kurapika was all for rebuilding his clan with you, and had made it clear to you at the beginning of your relationship. The three of you have been trying for a baby for the past few weeks, and every time you had sex, Kurapika went feral with the thought of this being the time he got you pregnant.

“That’s my pretty girl, gonna get you nice and full, I promise.”

You whine as he raises his hips to meet yours, his movements a bit rougher. Usually, Kurapika would scold Leorio for being too rough with you, but now it was Leorio’s time to place a hand on Kurapika’s hip. “Hey, careful. She’s sensitive right now.”

Kurapika pants, nodding before slowing down to a steady, sensual rhythm. He wanted to make you feel good, to ease your pain if only a little. “So sorry angel, lemme make it up to you.”

He rubs circles into her clit, placing kissed and gentle bites on her neck. This was enough to help her relax. “Mmm… so sweet to me…”

This went on for a while, and after Kurapika came inside of you a few times, Leorio took over.

When Leorio would accidentally cum inside of you, Kurapika was quick to drop to his knees and eat Leorio’s cum out of you. “It’s okay, I’ll take care of it. Don’t worry for a second, love.”

By the end of the night, you were full of cum and completely satisfied. Your boyfriends helped clean you up, whispering praise as they took turns eating you out. “So pretty…”

After getting changed into a new set of pajamas and cleaning up the sheets, the three of you eat ice cream and watch a movie, cuddled up together.

Having two boyfriends can be a bit hard sometimes, but you wouldn’t trade it for the world. They loved you more than anything, and made sure you felt beautiful and loved with every opportunity they got.

“I love you, boys…” you say softly as you begin to drift off. They kiss your cheeks, smiling before nuzzling into you.

“Love you too, princess.”

“I love you dearly, angel.”

[goldfades]

✮ 𝐟𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐡𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤, jump then fall au!

au masterlist! masterlist!

♡ ─ word count | 2.6k

♡ ─ summary | the story of how our little paloma came to be, and why adam has full custody of her.

♡ ─ warnings | mention of pregnancy (obvs), mention of abusive/manipulative relationship, some birth stuff but nothing graphic like at all, think that is all??

♡ ─ taglist | @literatureluster @valluvsu @lvrzegras @iminlovewithtz11 (fill in form in my navigation in you are interested!)

♡ ─ ev's notes | im finally back lol, the last nonnie inspired me to continue my series but i also saw the adam/luca content on instagram and i was like... yes i love these men with my entire soul. anyway, this is more background/filler chapter on the whole story behind adam/his ex. also idk if i did a good job making emma kind of unlikable but i couldn't make her too much bc at the end of day she is dovey's mom yk LMAOOO. but yeah, i was gonna include a little court segment but i didn't think it was necessary. this is kinda a summary of the timeline so yeah BUT YETH WE ARE BACK AT ITT!!!!! will be writing a more christmas-y one soon though i pinky promise :) LASTLY, my inbox is always open for au thoughts. please send them in, they literally make my entire day!

September ushered in a peculiar kind of unease, a restlessness that only settled within the corridors of high school, unbeknownst to Adam. The weight of impending change hung in the air, a feeling that clung to him as he navigated the familiar chaos that came with being a teenager.

It began with a murmur, a whisper weaving its way through the complicated tapestry of gossip. The news was illicit, news that would shatter the simplicity of his teenage years. Adam's ex, Emma, a figure exiled to his past, was harboring a secret that would bridge their worlds in a way he never anticipated.

The autumn breeze carried an unusual tension as Adam found himself standing before the door of Emma's house, a place he thought he had left behind in the remains of the failed relationship. She had called him about two hours ago, telling him that she had needed to talk to him immediately about something very important. He hesitated for a moment, hand poised to knock, before the door swung open, revealing Emma's worn expression.

"Adam," she greeted, her eyes avoiding direct contact, as if unable to meet the weight of his gaze. They hadn't talked in a couple weeks, since they had broken up.

"What's going on, Emma?" Adam asked, sensing the gravity of the situation even before she spoke.

A heavy sigh escaped her lips, laden with the weight of the secret she carried. "We need to talk," Emma murmured, gesturing for him to enter.

"Yeah, figured." He sighed. He didn't know if he was able to trust her after all the lies she had told him over the span of their relationship. This may be one of her ploys to somehow get him back.

He went into the familiar home as she guided him up to her room anxiously and his mind was racing. What could possibly be so important that she couldn't text him, or tell him over the phone?

They reached her room and he sat on her bed as Emma paced anxiously, the rhythm of her steps echoing the gravity of her secret. Finally, she turned to face him, her eyes brimming with vulnerability that he hadn't seen in a while.

"I'm pregnant," she confessed, the words hanging in the air like a storm about to break.

Pregnant? Her words hung in the air for a few moments as he looked for any sign of deception in her expression. But no, she looked like she was about to break down in front of him. The room seemed to close in on him, and he could feel the weight of the past and the uncertainty of the future colliding.

He couldn't even process it. "What?" Was all he could mutter.

Emma's gaze wavered as Adam's single-word response lingered in the room. The weight of the secret settled between them, an unspoken acknowledgment of the life-altering reality they were now forced to confront.

"I didn't plan for any of this," Emma continued, her voice shaky. "I never wanted it to happen."

Adam's brow furrowed as he tried to process the mix of emotions swirling within him. Anger, confusion, and a distant sense of responsibility danced on the edges of his thoughts. His head was spinning with questions.

"Why now?" he questioned, the frustration evident in his tone. "Why didn't you say something sooner?"

Emma's eyes welled with tears, and she seemed on the verge of unraveling. "I didn't know how. I was scared, Adam. Scared of your reaction, scared of what it would mean for both of us. I mean I have school and-and I can't have a kid right now."

The room felt suffocating, the air heavy with unspoken accusations and the weight of their shared history. Adam's mind raced, torn between the desire to understand and the lingering mistrust that had defined their past.

Adam's jaw tightened as he absorbed her words, a tumult of conflicting emotions churning within him. "Scared?" he repeated, a sharp edge to his voice. "You think dropping this bombshell now will magically make things less complicated?"

He didn't want to sound like an asshole but he couldn't help it. All she was thinking about was her future, her life and nothing to do with what his dreams, the ones he's had since he was younger. How could he go into the NHL with a kid and unstable ex?

Emma's tears flowed freely now. "I never meant for it to be like this. I just... I needed to tell you. I can't do this alone, Adam."

He rubbed his temples, trying to alleviate the growing tension. "You should've thought about that before. Now, what? What do you expect me to do?"

She reached out tentatively, as if seeking reassurance in the midst of the storm. "I want you to be a part of this, Adam. Our child deserves that, at least."

He takes her hand and his gaze softens as he heard her voice. Our child sounded so sweet, but he didn't want to go through what she put him through again.

He sighed heavily, a mixture of frustration and concern etched on his face. "Emma, you can't drop something like this on me and expect everything to be okay. We're not together anymore, and I can't just rearrange my life because of this."

Her eyes pleaded with him, desperation evident. "I know, but I can't do it alone. I need your support, Adam. We created this life together."

He pulled his hand away gently, creating a bit of distance. "Support? Emma, you've never supported my dreams. You made me doubt everything I did. I can't risk my future for this, not when I don't even know if you're going to stick around."

As the room descended into silence, the air seemed to crackle with the tension of unspoken truths. Adam's mind, however, echoed with the memories of a relationship colored by manipulation and emotional turmoil.

He couldn't shake the vivid memories of countless arguments, where Emma would twist his words, making him question his own sanity. Her subtle undermining of his dreams and aspirations left a trail of self-doubt that lingered long after their fights and maybe relationship had ended.

Emma's manipulation often took the form of subtle remarks disguised as concern. Every success he achieved was met with a backhanded compliment or a comment that subtly belittled his accomplishments. Her words had a way of eroding his confidence, making him second-guess his abilities. Was he even that good of a hockey player? Was he as smart as everyone would tell him?

She played on his insecurities, subtly exploiting vulnerabilities he hadn't even acknowledged. Emma's behavior manifested in controlling behaviors, whether it was telling him who he could spend time with or subtly isolating him from his support system. The gradual corrosion of his social connections left Adam feeling increasingly dependent on her for validation.

Emma's manipulation extended beyond words or fights; it was their daily interactions. The constant emotional rollercoaster left him drained and disoriented. Adam had become used to walking on eggshells, terrified of setting off another emotional outburst.

Adam found himself grappling with a mix of anger and resentment. The secret of her pregnancy now added a new layer to their complicated history, one that threatened to entangle their lives again.

The heaviness of the past hung in the air, a palpable reminder of the emotional scars that had yet to fully heal. The silence in Emma's room mirrored the unresolved scars of their relationship, leaving Adam to confront the challenging path that lay ahead.

He thought he had ended this relationship for good but now, he truly couldn't leave. Knowing that if he wouldn't stay, she would raise the baby alone and he would live forever with the knowledge of his kid somewhere with her. If they were to be together again, even just to raise the baby, he would promise that he would try to shield the baby from his mother as much as he could.

Emma's eyes brimmed with tears as she pleaded, "Adam, I'll change. I promise. I never realized how much I hurt you until now. I want to be a better person, for you and for our child."

Adam hesitated, his gaze flickering between her tearful eyes and the haunting memories of their past. The room seemed to close in around him as he grappled with conflicting emotions.

"Okay, Emma." He sighed. She let out a sob of joy, bringing him in for a tight hug.

──

JUNE 11, 2021

──

Summer arrived quicker than either had expected and soon enough Emma was in third trimester. In the sterile confines of the white hospital room, Adam stood witness to the arrival of their daughter. It was a moment of transformation, where the happiness of newfound fatherhood collided with the stark reality of uncertainty. Emotions played on his face, he had no idea how he was going to deal with any of it.

But as soon as tiny newborn baby laid in his arms, all the worries and uncertainty had faded into background noise as he held her with all the care in the world.

In that moment, everything else seemed to fade away. The worries, the uncertainties, the complexities—they all became distant as Adam cradled his daughter. Her tiny features, scrunched face, and the weight of her presence overwhelmed him, he couldn't help but tear up. She was perfect in every way. In that moment, he promised he would never let anyone hurt her in anyway possible.

He felt a surge of love, a protective instinct that whispered promises of care and unconditional devotion. The uncertainty that had clouded his thoughts seemed inconsequential in the face of the profound connection forged with this tiny being.

"She's perfect," he whispered, his voice barely audible in the quiet room. The fragility of the newborn, the embodiment of a shared history and a future full of unknowns, stirred something deep within him. All he knew was that he loved her more than anything even if he'd only held her for a few moments.

Emma, watching Adam with a mix of exhaustion and affection, couldn't help but smile. "She's got your eyes," she remarked, a tender note in her voice. His pretty, big blue eyes. The first thing anyone ever notices about him.

Adam nodded, his gaze fixed on the tiny features of his daughter. "Yeah? Well, she's got your everything else," he added, a gentle chuckle escaping him. The weight of fatherhood settled on his shoulders, but in that moment, it felt like a privilege.

The room seemed to shrink, focusing solely on this new family unit. The soft whimpers of the newborn, the beeping of the monitoring equipment, and the distant sounds of the hospital—all merged into the backdrop of a moment that felt suspended in time.

Emma looked at Adam with tired yet contented eyes, a silent understanding passing between them. The room, once filled with the tension of labor, was now a cocoon of familial warmth.

Emma whispered, her voice hoarse from the exertion of childbirth, "She's beautiful, isn't she?"

As Adam and Emma marveled at the beauty of their newborn daughter, the hospital room's door creaked open, and Adam's parents entered with a blend of excitement and nervousness. His mother, a mix of emotions painted on her face, rushed forward to embrace Adam.

"Oh, Adam, sweetheart, you're a father!" she exclaimed, her eyes gleaming with unshed tears of joy.

Adam smiled warmly, hugging his mother. "Yeah, Mom. Meet..." His words died on tongue when he realized they hadn't picked out a name for her yet.

"We haven't decided on a name yet," Emma adds quietly as she yawns.

"What about Paloma? Like your grandmother. It's perfect, just look at her."

Adam's eyes met Emma's, and for a moment, a silent agreement passed between them. Paloma—the perfect name, a homage to his grandmother, a symbol of heritage and a new beginning. They exchanged a nod, and Adam turned back to his parents.

"Paloma," he said, a smile breaking across his face. "Her name is Paloma."

The decision settled like a warm blanket, wrapping around the newborn with a sense of identity. Paloma, their little dove, had found her name in the embrace of a moment filled with love and the promise of a shared journey ahead.

──

Adam's frustration simmered beneath the surface as he and Emma found themselves ensnared in yet another argument. The air in the room crackled with tension, a silent precursor to the storm that was about to erupt. Paloma, blissfully unaware in her crib, slept soundly, while her parents grappled with the unresolved issues.

"I can't keep doing this, Emma," Adam muttered, his jaw clenched. The weight of unresolved issues hung heavily between them, each word an echo of past disagreements. "We need to talk."

Emma, her expression defensive, crossed her arms, a subtle defiance in her stance. "What's there to talk about, Adam? Everything's fine."

A bitter laugh escaped him with the weight of their shared history. "Everything's far from fine, and you know it. Paloma needs stability, and you can't keep pretending that everything's okay when it's not."

Emma's eyes flashed with irritation. "I'm her mother, Adam. I know what's best for her."

Adam's jaw clenched, frustration palpable. "You barely spend time with her but refuse my help. Every time I ask you to be a part of her life, you find an excuse. This isn't fair to Paloma, and it's not fair to me especially when you dragged me into this in the first place."

Paloma stirred in her crib, a subtle reminder of the fragile peace that hung in the balance. The argument, a reflection of their complicated past, loomed over them, threatening to unravel the delicate threads that held their connection together.

Emma's gaze hardened, and she retorted, "I didn't force you into anything, Adam. You were a part of this too, remember?"

Adam's frustration escalated, his voice sharper. "I was a part of it because I wanted to be a father to Paloma, not because I wanted to be stuck in this cycle with you. I can't keep watching you push me away, I wanna be apart of her life-"

She scoffed, a bitter edge to her tone. "You act like I'm the bad guy here. I'm doing my best, Adam."

"You dragged me into this," he continued, a sharp edge to his tone. "I fought to be a part of Paloma's life because I wanted to, but you make it impossible. This isn't about us anymore; it's about her. You need to step up and be a mother, like you'd wanted to almost a year ago when you decided to have her."

Emma's eyes narrowed, defensive walls fortified. "I am her mother. But you don't get to dictate how I should do things. I have my own life, Adam-"

"And Paloma is a part of that life, whether you like it or not!" Adam yelled, the frustration in his voice reaching a boiling point. "I can't keep covering for you, Emma. My mom asks where you're at and half the time, I don't even fucking know. You can't just show up when it's convenient for you and disappear when it's not."

Paloma's soft cries began, the room filled with the sound of her distress, a reflection of the anger surrounding her. Adam's frustration transformed into determination. "I won't let you keep hurting her with your inconsistency, especially when she's old enough to remember. If you can't be a constant presence in her life, then maybe it's better if you're not a part of it at all."

The words hung in the air, a heavy proclamation that seemed to mark the unraveling of their already strained connection. Emma, caught between defiance and vulnerability, met Adam's gaze with a steely resolve, setting the stage for a tumultuous chapter in the story of Paloma's fractured family.

-> make sure to check out my navigation or masterlist if you enjoyed! any interaction is greatly appreciated! <-

thank you for reading all the way through, as always ♡

[stayandot8]

Warmth

Genre: fluff

Relationship type: established boyfriend/girlfriend

Important Contents: SHE LIVES!!!! Hello :) While I'm unsure if I'm fully back, I came across a photo for inspiration and this came to mind and I wrote it down before it escaped me. So I hope you enjoy it. It's not perfect, but it's been the first thing I've written in MONTHS. So we call that progress.

WC: 557

masterlist

The leaves on the trees had just started changing and the smell in the wind proved it. It was so cold in the mornings that you needed some kind of jacket just to step three feet outside your door. But by mid-afternoon, your jacket had long been disposed of on the back of some chair in your office. And by the time you would leave for the day, you were grabbing for the same jacket, cursing the weather under your breath, praying Mother Nature wouldn’t hear you.

Well, someone had forgotten her overcoat when her boyfriend asked her to meet him for dinner at a street cart outside his building. And not only was she cursing the weather, but Mother Nature herself for even thinking up the idea of starkly different temperatures in a single day. 

I could hear the vendor yelling at a kid for dropping merchandise on the ground, something about the little one paying for messing with her cart. I quickly shuffled off my bench to the little boy’s aide. 

“I’m sorry madam, but he didn’t mean any harm. How much does he owe you?” I said as I started pulling out my wallet. The young boy had scampered off somewhere. The woman scoffed at me and waved me off, back to her paying customers and leaving me to stand there, staring at the place where the woman had just been. 

“Best put that wallet away or someone will steal it.” A familiar voice from behind me jarred me from my stupor. 

“I swear, that’s the last time I offer to help a youngin.” Chan’s eyes crinkled while he laughed and took my hand. 

“Agh! Your hands are so cold, jagi! Where’s your coat? It’s freezing out here.” He enveloped my hands in both of his, exhaling long, warming breaths into them while he dragged me to stand in the line. “Here, let’s do this.” He wrapped my arms around his waist under his flannel and pulled me close. His warmth seeped into my chilled veins. He was known for being a furnace when we slept together, but now his warmth was used to melt the ice cube I had become while waiting for him. My shoulders instantly relaxed, the crease in my brow was now flat. I tucked my head into his chest. His cologne had filled my nostrils and flooded my brain, soothing the deepest parts of trouble. He always had this effect on me, one word, one move, one text from him could soothe any tension from the day that had built up. 

Chan had this power about him, a command that all living things seemed in tune to. If he wanted you to listen, you did. If he wanted you to talk, you would. But even in the silence, his actions were loud enough for him that words weren’t necessary. 

Quite literally, I melted into him.The full force of me didn’t surprise him. He just pulled me impossibly closer and rested his cheek on my hair. 

“You would think with so many muscles you wouldn’t be this squishy.” I mumbled just loud enough for him to hear. He chuckled. 

“I’m glad to hear that…I think.” He said. After a moment his voice questioned. “Is that a good thing?”

“Yes.” I said as I nuzzled closer. “A very good thing.”

[statementlou]

my post yesterday about why I don't really care if Louis Tomlinson supports starbucks shocked me by actually circulating and getting notes and obviously I like validation and appreciation.... but I feel kind of weird about my big contribution to the topic being something that might come off as discouraging attempts to help Palestine. Feeling powerless in the face of such injustice is horrible and scary and traumatizing and while there are certain things that I do not think make much difference (like boycotting irrelevant targets), that's NOT how I feel about the situation in general! We CAN make a difference and help the Palestinian people! It can feel impossible to fight against all that power and propaganda and military might- but it has been done successfully over and over, colonialism has been destroyed in one place after another a hundred times in the last century, apartheid regimes have fallen, occupations have ended, because over and over, always, even all the military might in the literal world is less powerful than a united front of the PEOPLE. As Ursula K LeGuin said, "We live in capitalism. Its power seems inescapable. So did the divine right of kings. Any human power can be resisted and changed by human beings", and as Louis Tomlinson said "The power and magic comes from the people, you guys. Don't undermine your role in all of this" and "get off the 'gram and into the streets"!

Under the cut are things you can do that I believe actually directly impact the Palestinian people and the Israeli government, including some easy ones, and the key to a successful movement is to have every type of contribution, to have NUMBERS. However- it is also necessary to have people willing to do the actual work of fighting injustice, not just changing their consumer habits or yelling at people online. I strongly encourage people to explore becoming physically involved in activist work, and not to see it as yet another tiring obligation but rather as a way to help yourself feel less overwhelmed and exhausted. Feeling powerless and defenseless is a trauma that follows us into every corner of our lives, but standing up and working for change can not only save lives, but is good for your own mental health as well, I promise.

I can't make you an exhaustive list of resources, only tell you some tactics that I believe are actually useful. I'm not an expert or whatever, but I have been actively involved in social justice advocacy, activism, and direct action for over 20 years and am drawing on that history of both things that worked and were great and things that were not from my personal experiences. Thank you to @captainrayzizuniverse for helping me (but she didn't see the post any stupid things said by mistake are entirely on me), and especially for pointing out a big (typical white person) slip up, which was to almost forget the very first item on this list: Listen to, support, and amplify Palestinian voices!!! The whole starbucks issue wouldn't even exist if people just went by this single important guideline and did the things Palestinians were asking for rather than making up other things to do instead. In life altogether, and speaking as a disabled person god does this come up a lot: if you want to help someone, start by asking them what they need and then do that even if it isn't what you think they should want. Don't fucking wing it!! Join local groups organizing for Palestine: the people united are powerful, but only if they are united and working in large groups! Join a group! This is hard because... how? who? And I can't answer that for everyone but I can tell you that in the US JVP (Jewish Voice for Peace) is doing a huge amount of very accessible recruiting, you can just join (you don't need to be Jewish) and get involved straightaway in the great actions they're putting on. PYM (Palestinian Youth Movement) is not open to everyone to join but you should definitely follow them on SM to keep up on actions and maybe find ways to support. If you're a student I bet there is some kind of group at your school?

Go to protests: protest works, period. The general politician rule of thumb is that anyone who bothers to actually go out and march represents 10-100 voters. When they look at the numbers (like- '500-1000 people protested the most recent bill you signed') they do this math and they worry. But also honestly if it's something you can manage- it's good for you. It helps. Even if you just go alone and don't talk to anyone, being in a crowd of hundreds of people feeling the same things you are, caring as much as you do, it helps. If you can, yell along to the chants as loud as you can. Get fired up and use that energy to keep going and not despair!

Call and write officials: if you live in the US or UK this is HUGE. What I said above about how they count people at protests as standing for more people who didn't bother but agree? Same with phone calls for sure, it REALLY pressures them. Many orgs make this really easy- I get emails all the time with links to send a letter in a single click or click to call and all you have to do is read the script, get on some lists I guess? But many sites also have this feature, JVP does for example

Support BDS: the Palestinian led BDS have been doing the work of isolating and chipping away at Israel for 19 years and like I said, the actions of the masses only work if we are united behind a few strategic targets rather than all over the place; they have made this possible. It's good to avoid buying from the companies they target; even better to work on the big divestment campaigns. For example, student groups pressuring the big universities to divest from BDS targets echo the successful University divestment efforts that helped end apartheid in South Africa.

Send money: money helps, immediately and concretely, and again if we are many, each person doesn't have to do a lot. Do what you can spare, it all adds up. This has been painful with Gaza for sure, with millions donating but aid being blocked. I don't have The Answer but here's a group I found that actually seems to be getting aid in, and here's a spread sheet of gofundmes- note that people who have foreign passports do not have to pay the horrible border crossing fees, so you may wish to focus on funding those who don't have that privilege. this could maybe be better and there was some other stuff I wanted to say about doing activism to tie up the "activism as self care" thing from above and also bringing it back around to talk about Louis more but I'm tired and I'm hungry right now and this is a lot already. So. Bye lol sorry. send me asks if any of that is something you care about or want to hear

[wandabear]

DAYLIGHT ㅤㅤㅤ   

Pairing: Leigh Shaw x female reader Summary: 'Sunflower' prequel. Read that first, if you want. You and the love of your life meet for the first time, you don't know everything that awaits you. Leigh Shaw is a tropical storm. This is also part of a request, thank you sweet anon. ㅤㅤㅤ    warnings: ansgt, mentions of death, alcoholism. ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤPART I

Her gaze was lost on the ceiling, perhaps for twenty minutes until the alarm went off. The dark circles under her eyes showed how much it was difficult for her to sleep lately.

Y/N sighed heavily.

ㅤㅤ

She got up from the bed and went to the bathroom to take a nice hot shower. Some melancholic eyes were reflected in the mirror, she watched the scars on her body while she undressed.

ㅤㅤ

Didn't even feel like making breakfast, she just left the apartment and walked to the nearest coffee shop. Waited patiently in line until she could chat with the barista for a moment while waited for a large latte and a delicious bagel.

She took her time finishing it, listening to some music through her headphones for half an hour until she decided to leave.

ㅤㅤ Even though the barista gave Y/N her number, it didn't matter too much. She just got back on her Iron 883 and drove to the Los Angeles Fire Department, Station 12.

Some of her coworkers greeted her, surprised and happy to see her again. Everyone except her boss, who turned to see her quite surprised.

ㅤㅤ

“What did I tell you?” The man in his sixties grunted, shaking his head as he signed some papers.

ㅤㅤ “I have to go back to work.” Y/N sighed, ready to fight for what she wanted this time. “I've already learned whatever lesson you're giving me.”

ㅤㅤ All her life she dreamed of being a firefighter, of being able to help people and being in that very place where she was standing. Years of preparation, mental and physical sacrifice, her heart belonged to that place, how could she not be there?

ㅤㅤ “You can’t do it unless-” He was going to repeat the usual but Y/N cut him off.

ㅤㅤ “Cut the crap, chief.”

ㅤㅤ “Y/N.” He scolded her, looking up. With a single look it was enough for Y/N to know that she fucked it up. She swallowed.  “I have told you many times, you have to go to the meetings or I can't let you come back.”

ㅤㅤ

“It's stupid!” Y/N raised her voice, so annoyed. “I don't need those stupid meetings, what I need is to get back to work.”

ㅤㅤ

“Y/N, I know what it's like to deal with loss. Trust me, I've worked here my whole fucking life.” ㅤㅤ

“Chief, please…” ㅤㅤ

“Tonight. Grief support group, Y/L/N. I need you SOBER and better than this. Last chance.” Her boss watched her and didn't back down even a step. She knew perfectly well that those were the rules and it was necessary.

ㅤㅤ

If she wanted to get back to her job, her life, she had to do what she had to do to earn it. Life is about one sacrifice after another, after all.

ㅤㅤ

“FUCK!” was heard in that place when Y/N left the place in a hurry, completely furious.

ㅤㅤ

“So… that was what happened.” That young man explained, surrounded by the group of people.  He seemed quite sad but felt better when he noticed that everyone was listening to him, not ignoring his pain.

ㅤㅤ

“Thanks for share with us.” They all said, surprising Y/N, who awkwardly joined in.

ㅤㅤ

“I'm glad you could express that to us, James.” The moderator of the group, Janet, smiled kindly, turning to see the new person joining them today.  “Today someone joins us and it's always good to welcome you. Do you want to introduce yourself?”

ㅤㅤ

“Umh… I’m not-” Y/N stammered awkwardly, feeling all eyes on her. Her heart raced, she could feel it. The firefighter hated being the center of attention, but she had to do this if she wanted to go back to the Station.

ㅤㅤ

“My name is Y/N Y/L/N, I'm not from Los Angeles… I mean, I wasn't born here, but I live here in L.A” She cleared her throat somewhat nervously, settling in the chair. “My job asks me to do it, and- and I love my job. And it doesn't bother me, I got used to this nice place.”

ㅤㅤ

“Even if it's a bit hot.” She teased, making some laugh. “I… umh-”

ㅤㅤ

They all expected to know more, they seemed like wild animals waiting for a part of the prey. Or at least that was how she saw it.

Silence flooded the place, Y/N remained thoughtful for a moment. Her gaze was lost somewhere in the room, but she just couldn't hear or say anything.

Just relive that memory, so tragic.

ㅤㅤ

And despite the fact that she wanted to keep talking, Y/N was unable to continue. As if anguish took her by the neck, she just frowned and shook her head.

Swallowing hard, the dark-haired woman just listened to the testimonies of each person who wanted to open up and express the pain they felt.

ㅤㅤ

When she was asked again if she wanted to say something else, Y/N just shook her head slowly and remained silent. It was typical, especially for someone attending for the first time. ㅤㅤ

As soon as that meeting ended, Y/N approached the coffee table in that room so she could pour herself some nice steaming cup and run away as soon as she had the chance. Y/N didn’t want to look so desperate or they would discover the truth. She was just using this meeting to go back the job.

ㅤㅤㅤ    After having a steaming cup of coffee, she turned ready to leave but ended up colliding with a brown-haired woman with lovely but melancholy green eyes. Though thanks to her skills, didn’t spill even a single drop of coffee.

ㅤㅤㅤ   

“Oh, I’m sorry.” The girl apologized, muttering something a bit embarrassed but didn’t care much either. Something that caught Y/N’s attention, completely out of this world.

ㅤㅤㅤ   

The woman in front of her, a downcast gaze looking at her phone, atractive and charming features.

ㅤㅤㅤ   

ㅤㅤㅤ    “No, I’m sorry. I didn’t saw you…” Y/N mumbled softly, noticing how the woman tucked one of her strands of hair behind her ear.

ㅤㅤㅤ   

Feeling completely stunned by the beauty. Even with a half-done bun and hoodies, she was… different. Interesting. Hot as fuck, yes, but… gorgeous. Those huge green eyes caught her attention, a somewhat adorable nose and the fact that she was shorter than her.

ㅤㅤㅤ   

“Hi… I’m Y/N .” Said the taller woman finally, holding out her hand so they could shake it. That gesture made the green eyed stranger smile, maybe surprised by her desire to socialize.

ㅤㅤㅤ   

“I’m Leigh.”

ㅤㅤㅤ   

“Nice to meet you, Leigh.” Y/N smiled widely, nodding a bit. Something that Leigh thought was adorable. A big dork, again. “Sorry, I wanted some coffee.”

ㅤㅤㅤ   

“And I wanted a donut, although the ones here aren’t so good tho…” Leigh whispered, wrinkling her nose, making Y/N’s heart to start pounding faster. “You’re new here. I haven’t seen you before, welcome.”

ㅤㅤㅤ   

Y/N swallowed hard again, both began to walk together towards the exit. She just nodded, giving Leigh a chance to speak again. Maybe the brunette might socialize a bit, her mother and Jules always insisted so much. Surely would later regret it later.

Or maybe not.

ㅤㅤㅤ   

“I understand the feeling, it’s kind of intimidating.” Leigh shrugged.

ㅤㅤㅤ   

“Yeah… it’s something… it makes you feel exposed.” Y/N babbled  then opened the door for Leigh to go through first. They both talked for a while until Y/N couldn’t take it anymore. “Umh… Do you promise that if I tell you something you won’t get mad?”

ㅤㅤㅤ   

“Promise.” Leigh smiled and raised her hand, it was incredible how they barely knew each other and they got along, even being quite friendly with that stranger.

ㅤㅤㅤ   

“This isn’t the AA group by any chance, is it?” Y/N bit her bottom lip to hide a guilty and somewhat regretful smile.

ㅤㅤㅤ   

“No, it’s not…that’s Wednesday at 6 pm.” Leigh frowned, somewhat amused. Of course she knew because Jules attended every Wednesday.

ㅤㅤㅤ   

“Yeah… I realized that when everyone started talking and I… was embarrassed to leave. When I started listening to everyone talk about their losses, I felt really bad about it. I mean, I came to talk about how I couldn’t feel comfortable on birthdays or Christmas…”

She lied, again. It was so much better than having to explain, she wasn't going back to that damn meeting anyway. She would tell her boss that she did go, present evidence, and then goodbye.

ㅤㅤㅤ   

And although that would surely end up annoying Leigh so bad, and she would surely get mad for feeling so exposed by telling her story to someone who wasn’t even there for it, Y/N smiled when Leigh started laughing.

ㅤㅤㅤ   

It wasn’t a fake laugh, it was a pretty genuine laugh. And Y/N loved it. Y/N completely fell in love with it.

ㅤㅤㅤ   

“It would be worse if you said ‘I only came here for coffee’.” Leigh joked. “Hi, I’m Y/N and I just came here for coffee and to see your sad mopey faces…” ㅤㅤㅤ    Y/N laughed somewhat surprised, glad that the brunette didn’t get mad at her.

ㅤㅤㅤ    “Maybe I do, the anguish revitalizes me and makes me younger. In fact, I am about fifty-two years old.” Y/N continued, walking together out of that building. Without even thinking about it, both were walking side by side, keeping each other company through the streets of Los Angeles. She took a sip from her cup but the coffee was cold. “This isn’t the best coffee tho, but it’s not that bad either…”

ㅤㅤㅤ   

Leigh thought for a moment, the sound of cars and footsteps made her lose herself. She strangely felt comfortable with a stranger she hadn’t known more than a few minutes ago. How many times that happened in her whole life? Maybe just one.

ㅤㅤㅤ   

“Would you like to go to a place where both things are better? Coffee and donuts.” Leigh finally asked as she snatched the coffee out of her hand and tossed it into the nearest trash can.

ㅤㅤㅤ    Surprised at that, Y/N simply nodded and followed Leigh who seemed to know a good coffee place that was open 24 hours. ㅤㅤㅤ   

“So…” Y/N settled into her seat while she put two tablespoons of sugar in her coffee. “How long have you been in the group?”

ㅤㅤㅤ   

“A year? I think so…” Leigh wrinkled her nose. “It’s not so bad, I know it's hard to start, but then... it helps.”

ㅤㅤㅤ   

Does it? Well, she wasn't going to deny that it helped to be able to share the pain with people who understand that too. Although at first she refused a lot.

ㅤㅤㅤ   

“They seem like a pretty nice group of people.” Y/N nodded slowly. “Why are you there?”

ㅤㅤㅤ   

Perhaps that question was more direct than expected, Y/N cursed herself. Silence for a moment was an answer enough.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Sorry, I was too… you know. I… I'm not used to socializing yet.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“It’s okay… I lost my husband a year ago.” Leigh set her coffee cup on the table and licked her lips. “It was quite a difficult time for me.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I’m sorry.” She sighed, seeing how Leigh just nodded, surely tired of hearing those words over and over again. 'Im sorry, sorry for your loss'. That’s exhausting. For a year, each person who crosses your path repeating how sorry they are. For what? They didn't kill Matt. He did. Or the cliff, whatever.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“I wasn't looking just for the AA meeting.”  Y/N added, opening up to someone else for the first time. “I mean, I was too. I needed to go to one, but also… I did... I did lose someone. Two.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N cleared her throat, holding that cup with her hands. “It's more complicated than it seems.”

She lowered her gaze.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I see.” Leigh muttered. She didn't know what to say, Leigh wasn't the most talkative person in the world either. But the woman seemed nice, ever since she stopped talking to Becca it had been hard to socialize. Well, it always was.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I try to fool myself and people that I don't need it. I don't need to get over that loss because I already did, I mean, that's it, they’re dead but…” The dark-haired woman narrowed her eyes. “I didn't.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Leigh tried to smile but it just seems like an awkward expression, failing completely. She just stretched out her hand to squeeze that stranger's hand and then leaned back in her seat.

The song from the radio seemed to help with the long silence.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“What’s the most weird or embarrassing song on your playlist?” Y/N finally broke the silence, an utterly bold move.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“What?” Leigh frowned without understanding, maybe a smiling a bit because of how random that was.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Come on, are you afraid that I'll laugh?” Y/N challenged her, raising an eyebrow and smiling mischievously. “What's your guilty pleasure, Leigh Shaw?” She read the name tag on the brunette's jacket.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Far from bothering her, Leigh gladly accepted the challenge.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Barbie Girl by Aqua.” Leigh smiled victoriously. “You?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I never told you that I would tell you.” She teased, drinking her latte. “The baby shark song.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Come on!”  Leigh giggled.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Spice Up Your Life by Spice Girls. Oh, I love it.” Y/N shrugged and drank some of her coffee. “What Taylor Swift era are you in if you had to pick one?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Oh, I don’t like Taylor Swift.” Leigh said trying to look disinterested but seeing Y/N's look, she just laughed. “Just kidding. Umh… I think I’m… Reputation?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Yeah, you totally look like Rep.” Y/N nodded slowly.  “If you were an animal what would you be?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I- I don’t know.” The brunette licked her lips after finishing her coffee.  “Umh… maybe a… a bird. I could fly away, that's it.” She shrugged.  “What about you?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I would be a panda.” Y/N leaned back in her seat, narrowing her eyes as if she had made the best decision of her life, trying to make her laugh. And she did it.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Cute and fat. Nice.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“And a loner, and really pissed off. Pandas look cute but they are always angry.”

ㅤ

"It must be the huge dark circles that don't let us see them."

ㅤㅤㅤ

And though she didn't want to admit it, Leigh seemed to be having a good time with this woman. Maybe a bit slow at first but Y/N seemed cool, and it might help if she knows someone in the grief group.

Between giggles and some weird but interesting questions, they both spent the time trying to get to know each other. And time goes by fast when you feel at ease.

Leigh told her that she was a writer, working on a book for some time but hadn't known how to continue.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N told her that she was having a 'break' from her job, as if her wounded ego wouldn't let her reveal that she wasn't allowed back unless she took a step away from alcoholism, self-hatred and pain.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Hey, Leigh… Umh… Do you know what is white, black, white, black, black and white?” Y/N narrowed her eyes, hoping Leigh would fall for it.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Mmm, no.” Leigh narrowed her eyes.  “Piano keys?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“A panda falling down the stairs.” Y/N bit her lower lip to keep from laughing at how stupid that joke sounded.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Despite the fact that that joke was pretty bad, Leigh began to laugh little by little, shaking her head. They both burst out laughing; the connection between the two of them had been instant and the warmth of the moment felt so genuine.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Finally someone was bursting her bubble in an unexpected way and it terrified her. Suddenly Leigh felt a deep pang in her chest. Her eyes filled with tears for a second, remembering the first time she met Matt.

What was she doing? What was she doing in that place?

ㅤㅤㅤ

The smile on Leigh's lips faded so quickly that it made Y/N's heart skip a beat. Did she say something wrong maybe?

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Sorry, I-I've to go.” Leigh babbled getting up from her chair and taking her jacket.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Surprised -and maybe a bit sad-, Y/N just nodded quickly.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Of course, yeah.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

She got up and stood in front of the brunette, looking into her green eyes for a moment. They didn't know what to say, just feeling that connection and having to cut it off was so… sad.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“It was nice to meet you.” Leigh smiled nervously and grabbed her bag, turning to walk towards the door.  “See you in the group next week.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“See you, Shaw.” Y/N murmured, sitting back in the chair and looking thoughtful as she looked at her empty cup. This was not what she expected, not at all.

Was she doing something wrong? Had she gone too far? She'd just made her laugh! Leigh was beautiful but she wasn't trying to… push her.

ㅤㅤㅤ

What was she going to do there anyway? Y/N took her keys and her jacket and left the café, to go back home before it was late. Maybe tomorrow would be a different day.

ㅤㅤㅤ

But when she returned home, loneliness invaded her completely. Like a dark misterious being, caught her i its cloak, drowning her in misery. That desolate apartment made Y/N’s heart slowly sink.

Y/N took a deep breath and walked to the fridge, seeing only thing she had was beer cans and some old food.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N took the beer to the sink, looking at them for a moment.

ㅤㅤㅤ

What to do? What to feel? She needed to drown all those negative feelings inside of her, and the only way to numb them was... that.

But unlike other heartbreaking nights, now there was something else on her mind. Something that aroused her interest, even if she didn't know it yet.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N took the beers and one by one poured them into the sink, letting them go. Part of her said no, leave some, at least one in case someone ever came along or something. Or drink just one and throw everything Or perhaps better drink one and throw away all the rest, one more. The last one.

ㅤㅤㅤ

She tilted her head to see the photograph on the nearest cabinet, an adorable photograph of her and two other women, hugging in front of the beach. One was redhead and the other brunette. The three of them laughed, making funny faces. ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N remembered the time Nat and Jules invited her to go to the beach that weekend, although Y/N refused saying that they should 'make it a romantic trip', they just wanted to spend time with her.

That weekend they spent one of the best days of her life, ending it with that photograph in a beautiful sunset in front of the beach.

ㅤㅤㅤ

This is what they would have wanted.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Sighing, Y/N dropped the rest of the beers and took the phone to order something to eat, other than a piece of cheese and bread. And although she didn't want to think about it, that night Y/N lay in bed thinking about that woman, and that perhaps it wouldn't be bad to visit the group again next week.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Anyone else want to share something with us?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Thomas?” Janet asked but the man just shook his head, he wasn't ready to do it. Now the gaze of Janet fell on her. Y/N settled into her seat, surely Janet noticed how she moved her leg anxiously.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Y/N? Would you like to tell us something?” Her voice was so warm that Y/N had to stop herelf from telling her to fuck off for it.

ㅤㅤㅤ It had been quite a difficult week. Y/N believed that by throw away every bottle and presenting a paper that said that she attended ONE meeting, her boss was going to accept it, but it wasn’t like that at all.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Swallowing, she just tilted her gaze. “I’m angry.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Being angry is good, it's good to allow ourselves positive but also negative feelings.” Janet nodded, and the others around her did the same. All those looks on her, just made it feel like some kind of experiment.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I’m so angry. Because I want to go back to my life, to my work and I have to be here.” She let out again, not knowing why she was saying all that. Y/N just knew that every word was escaping from her mouth and couldn't control it.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Everyone around her listened attentively, including Leigh, who was in front of her with a coffee in her hand.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Everyone looking at me like I'm a fucking guinea pig or something. Okay, wanna know? Let's see... I lost my whole life thanks to alcoholism.” Y/N frowned, thinking how far she had come. How is it that everything changed so much from one moment to the next? “And I fell into alcoholism because I lost my sister and my best friend at the same time. Also my parents treated me like shit.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Leigh, who was staring at her, felt a little sorry, understanding the woman a bit more now. Everyone there did it, in their own way, everyone suffered an irreparable loss but slowly they tried to heal.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“My sister died a short time ago. Sh- she wasn't my biological sister, but she was my sister.” Y/N sighed deeply, entering a rather complicated field. Her lip twitched. “As I said, a year ago.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Everyone listened carefully and said nothing, when someone opened up like that it was important that they feel heard.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Julia.” Y/N swallowed at the thought of her best friend, her sister. “That was her name, we called her Jules, she was wonderful. A lovely human being, she had a lovely wife too. They died… and I'm here.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

That name made Leigh look at her, having her full attention. As if fate somehow played a trick on them. ㅤㅤㅤ

“We were together since elementary school, always… She was there for me more than anyone.” You could tell that talking about it hurt deeply, Y/N swallowed and narrowed her eyes several times to keep from crying. “Even when I said that my dream was to be a firefighter, she decided to come along and support me. Although she chose to be a paramedic, so we could be together.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N felt her lips tremble and how those eyes filled with tears but she tried to stay strong because she couldn't cry in front of all those people, could she? Come on. ㅤㅤㅤ “There was a gas leak in a building... then there was a big explosion.  We were there.” Tears began to fall but she was too exhausted to wipe them away or hide them. “She and her wife Nat died… They died and I’m here.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

She hated having to be the center of attention, feeling like an 'attention whore' or something. But once she started expressing what she felt, she couldn't stop. Because she no longer had anyone to talk to.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I’m still here and I sometimes I hate it.” She sniffled. "If we were a team… why didn't they take me too?"

ㅤㅤㅤ “I spent so much time thinking that… that maybe I'm just crazy. That maybe she's not gone. She’ll come around the corner any second, smiling at me.” Y/N smiled at the memory that came to mind.  “Ma- Making fun of how I usually breathe through my mouth when I eat, she says I look like a fish out of water.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N laughed through tears.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Since that day my head has not stopped telling me that it is better to get away from everyone before they abandon me.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

She felt a soft hand resting on her shoulder and for a moment she thought about leaving, but seeing that the old lady only wanted to comfort her, Y/N just let it happen.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“And I'm mad at myself and everyone.”  Y/N looked down. “Especially my boss who won't let me go back to work and be able to save people. That’s it.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Thank you, Y/N. For your sacrifice and for sharing this with us.”  Janet said and they all repeated again, nodding.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“It is important to be able to express what we feel in order to move forward.” Janet smiled kindly. “Denial and anger are two huge steps towards acceptance.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Sighing deeply and managing to calm down, Y/N nodded and dried her tears with a tissue that the kind old lady offered her, making the woman smile a bit.

After the group finished, Y/N left the place feeling the load on her back slightly lessen. Not much, but enough to take the first step out of darkness.

ㅤㅤㅤ

She noticed how Leigh waited, sitting on the stairs. Scrolling down her phone.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Hey.” The brunette stood up when she saw her, smiling kindly.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Hey, Shaw.” Y/N stood next to her, her heart beats faster but she told herself that it was surely because she was crying before. “Did you run out of gasoline?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“No, I just took an Uber today, I didn't feel like driving.” Leigh wrinkled her nose and crossed her arms, as she began to walk with Y/N. “I'm glad you could express what you feel.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Sure.” Y/N smirked, while playing with the keys of her motorcycle.  “Crying like a child in front of a group of people I don't know isn't too bad.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“But do you feel better?” Leigh arched an eyebrow.

ㅤㅤㅤ

They stopped when Y/N reached her motorcycle and she got on it. “Yeah…”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Oh, this is yours?” Leigh pointed at the motorcycle in surprise.  “I thought it was from some bearded drunk old man who mistook this place for a biker bar.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

The brunette joked and within seconds she realized what she just said, but Y/N just bit her lower lip trying not to laugh. 

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Sorry, too soon for someone recovering from… alcoholism. Fuck.” Leigh had always been too direct and perhaps a little cruel at times, even if she didn't want to.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N finally laughed at that joke, holding the helmet in her hands. “It’s okay, it wasn’t that bad. I’m not a baby.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Good then.” Leigh turned to walk away but stopped to say something else. “Y/N?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Yeah?” She looked up as she started the bike and made it roar.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“How can you want to save someone if you don't do something to save yourself?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Perhaps one of the best questions she had ever heard. Leigh raised an eyebrow and smiled victoriously.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“What are you some kind of cheap shrink or something?” Y/N growled.

ㅤㅤㅤ Leigh shrugged. “I have an advice column on a website. That must give me some kind of value to my words, right?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N gave a small laugh. “Yeah, it shows.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Sighing deeply, Y/N handed the helmet to the brunette who looked at her blankly.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Come on, sunflower.” Y/N made the bike roar, but Leigh still didn't move. That nickname made her narrow her eyes, not knowing how to take it.  “I'll take you home, okay?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I'm not going to get on that.” Leigh rolled her eyes, she was definitely not going to get on a bike with a stranger -not so stranger- and much less at night. What was she? One of those bitches from Grand Theft Auto?

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Come on! It's dark and the Ubers will take time, plus you could get any psycho here.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Sighing in defeat, Leigh snatched the helmet from her hands in complete annoyance. Y/N helped and when she was ready, she drove through the city to the brunette's house.

It wasn't too far from her house, so that wasn't too bad.

Once they arrived, Leigh hurried to get off the motorcycle and removed her helmet, afraid someone would see her. Especially her nosy mother or sister.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Thank you.” Leigh said quickly, arranging her hair a bit.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“You are welcome.” The dark-haired woman smiled and nodded. “Not bad for a biker.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

But far from laughing, Leigh just rolled her eyes and then saw how Y/N started her motorcycle again, ready to go.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Why?” the brunette asked, making Y/N to look at her, confused.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Why what?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Why did you call me sunflower?” She frowned blankly. She had to know or her doubt would eat her up all week.

ㅤㅤㅤ

But this time, the one who smiled victoriously was Y/N.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“See you next week, Shaw.” She just looked straight ahead and drove away from that house, leaving Leigh behind.

🌼 cute people i'm gonna tag here: 🌼 @oh-thats-cute - @katiemay-025 - @imnotasuperhero - @marvelogic

[sunbloomdew]

Love Confessions in the Baxter DLC

The sequel! Monochrome obsession continues. Part 2/3

Part 1 "The Wedding Confession"

Welcome, or hello again! I played the Baxter DLC a couple of times and I like it a lot, so I wanted to ramble about some of my favourite parts. Specifically about love confessions in Baxter’s version of Step 4, because they are all very well written and make me feel good :3

Reading the first part of this "series" isn't necessary, the introduction is just a bit more thorough in the first post. Furthermore if you've read the first part it might seem like i'm repeating myself with certain points, since those moments share some similarities and i like to be meticulous.

It is time for the second confession and the last one that can be initiated by the player. If you don’t confess here and pick an option in which MC expresses hope of Baxter returning their feelings, you will later reach the moment where Baxter asks MC out himself. This confession is my personal favourite, so prepare for me losing my mind over every single detail.

Spoilers for Baxter DLC!

The confessions all happen after the wedding ceremony, so if you hadn't played to this point yet, i recommend skipping this post (and maybe coming back later, if you wanna chat about them with me)! I may not bring up every single line, but i think this post still covers a good part of what happens.

I call this confession, The Morning Confession, because it takes place on the morning after the wedding! Simple name but it does the job.

There is also another reason for this name, but i'll get to it later.

The wedding is over and most stuff had been cleaned up. MC returns with Baxter to his apartment, after accepting his invitation to stay with him until they have to come back to their home. The two have finally reunited and they aren’t ready to part ways yet.

During that evening, MC and Baxter share a moment by the fireplace in the lobby of the building. I wanted to dedicate some time to this moment, because I think it’s a valuable context to the confession. And aside from providing insight into the mind of Baxter Ward, I love the way it’s written. So sue me, i wanna talk about it.

Despite the fact that they have reconciled, Baxter’s reasoning behind his actions still isn’t fully clear to MC. While being in the company of other people made the lingering unease between them bearable, it still remains. They can't act casually, as if nothing had happened, as if the years hadn’t been lost. So Baxter offers to clarify his point of view. “As sorry as I am, I don’t think I’ve been as open as I could have been” he says and well, that is the truth.

If the player chose to confess to Baxter before this conversation, this moment provides a deeper understanding of the character and explains his reluctance to accept the confession.

It is here by a fireplace – a fitting spot for another personal conversation, considering the duo's shared history – that Baxter reveals his innermost thoughts and fears. At his core, he believes he doesn’t contribute anything to any relationship, because he can't see his own value. And to him, if he doesn’t add anything, then he has no right to form and be in deep, mutually supportive relationships.

Baxter convinced himself that he doesn’t matter. That his only worth is in the entertainment he can provide or the help he can give. In his own words, he doesn’t know what it means to be significant to a person, just by being yourself. Which is why he doesn’t let people get close to him. He assumes that upon finding out that there is nothing more to him, they will leave. So it’s better to not let anybody get to know him, that way no one can be disappointed by his “true” self. He is unable to see that none of that is true because deep down, he thinks he is worthless as a person.

Those feelings about himself are something that have influenced Baxter’s decisions about relationships with other people, for example with Xavier. As the baker reveals later, they always felt that if Baxter had no reason to contact them again, he wouldn't. He kept himself away from others and believed that every connection he makes isn’t meant to last.

Still, Baxter wanted to create bonds with other people. And it terrified him.

He wanted to have that with MC, but he was too afraid to take that chance five years ago. It couldn't have worked out back then. Baxter had his assumptions about himself and others, and he held onto them strongly. It’s sad, but there was no way to make him change his ways back then. He was set on leaving no matter what would have happened.

This Baxter is different from the 19 year old who put his comfort above all else. During that conversation by the fireplace he is being vulnerable in ways he never allowed himself to be before. He tells MC that he missed them over those five years. That they made him feel wanted that summer, and as incredible as it felt, he couldn’t believe it would last. He makes it clear that it wasn’t any of MC’s actions that made him feel that way - he applied this mindset to every connection he made at that time.

It’s incredibly sad to witness his thoughts out in the open like that. I think Baxter’s struggles are something most of us can relate to in some way. Low self-esteem can make people withdraw from social situations and spiral into self-hatered. It’s terrible, to be so wrapped up in disliking yourself that you assume that nobody could ever like you. That you have no good qualities as a person, so you have to make up for them somehow. It can feel like it'll stay this way forever, and so there is no point in trying to connect with others.

However that is not true. In the end, Baxter came to understand this as well. He is worthy of love and friendship. He grew and learned from his past mistakes, and so can we.

He apologises to MC once again, and expresses deep regret over not staying in contact with them. And at last, MC can say that they actually know Baxter Alexander Ward.

I think this moment is really beautiful. It’s an apology without excuses, that provides an explanation. Baxter never had malicious intentions, but even so, his actions had hurt people who cared for him (and who he cared about), so he owns up to his mistakes and does his best to correct them.

Aside from being a really good moment of taking accountablity and being vulnerable with another person this conversation also sets the mood for the morning confession. The air is finally cleared. These two characters can finally show how much they value each other because there is mutual understanding and trust between them again. It will take some time to get to know each other after so long, but they are willing to try, and they know they can be honest.

After a day full of emotional revelations, Baxter and MC finally head to bed. Not only the characters, but the players can take a breath and prepare for what’s to come. And boy are we in for a treat.

The next day arrives and the players are given an option to sleep in as much as they want. What time MC wakes up will have an effect on dialogues and is one of the many examples of how the game lets us customize the protagonist however we want, even in the silliest ways. It is something i deeply appreciate about the Our Life series. The comfort level also changes the lines, for example MC's response to Baxter greeting them in the morning.

Eventually the sleeping beauty wakes up and the pair moves to the living room. Despite sleeping in for a while Baxter is still out of it and it’s so adorable (he's just like me fr).

I think the tone set for the confession is lovely. The atmosphere in the morning is relaxing and light and to me it feels like this is exactly what those characters needed. A new day has arrived, not only literally but figuratively for their relationship. There is no negative tension in the air, just the feeling of peace. They are clearly enjoying each other's company and it's great to finally have that again.

This is only my opinion, but the way this moment feels is exactly why i like it more than the wedding confession. The previous confession is meant to feel rushed, high on emotions and full of determination to declare the feelings right away. MC feels like they have to be upfront about their feelings in that moment so they confess. I do enjoy this type of tension, but i simply prefer this kind of setting. As much as i love convincing Baxter to truly express his feelings by shooting down the reasons not to date him (it's so intense and dramatic! absolutely amazing) i find that i like this quiet admission of feelings more.

While it might not be that intense as the moment right after the wedding, there is still this nagging feeling that urges MC not to wait any longer. They love that they are included in this private corner of Baxter's life and they wish they could have been before. It's this feeling of not wanting to lose any more time, that makes them think about confessing then and there.

And so, the player is presented with a choice:

It is time to confess! Hallelujah.

Just like in the wedding confession we can pick the way we want to confess - with words or with a gesture. If we pick the third option you lose the chance to confess yourself. Instead Baxter will do this when the time comes.

Upon choosing one of the ways to confess, MC has the same internal monologue they do in the wedding confession. I've already shared my thoughts about it in the previous post, but i'll just say here that it's a very nice scene. They reminisce about their relationship with Baxter as a whole, eventually coming to the conclusion, that they can hold on to him.

After the monologue ends, the player has a chance to reaffirm their decision, as they did in the previous confession.

If you back out, MC thinks that they can be together just not in the way they'd want to. They are afraid of confessing, in case they ruin what they just got back and make Baxter run away.

But, if you reaffirm your decision, you get my personal favourite confession scene. Let's get right into it!

I mentioned in Part 1 that Baxter reacts to MC's silence, as they reminisce about their relationship. I find it a little funny when i imagine them just sitting in silence and staring intensely for a while. Kinda like when magical girls have their transformations and the bad guys don't do anything to interrupt them. MC monologuing definitely gives off the same energy. Writing inner monologues is tricky like that.

During the wedding confession Baxter is anxious and worried, waiting to receive MC's verdict. Do they welcome him back to their life? Or do they reject him (even though there is no such option in the game)?. It's stressful and the prolonged silence makes Baxter slowly come back to his usual behaviour to protect himself, in case his vulnerability was the wrong move.

This isn't the case here. His reaction is wildly different. There is no tension or stress, just curiosity and anticipation. Instead of being nervous he is very smug, clearly knowing or at least suspecting what MC is thinking about. I gotta say, when i first picked this option i was stunned. I did NOT expect him to act in this way, but it was a pleasant surprise. Mr. Ward is very perceptive and i love this confident attitude of his.

MC asks him what is on his mind, and he comes back to reality. Baxter encourages them to continue, but they insist he tells them what's going on. And that's what he does. He says that he was remembering a "funny story". Then he asks MC if they want to know something absolutely embarrassing. With that kind of an opening, how could they refuse?

Baxter tells them that Jude and Scott attempted to speak to him about his and MC's... situation. He was surprised that they noticed he was sad and wanted to help him, when he was supposed to be doing that with their relationship. I think it was his feelings of inferiority that made him feel that way.

Moving on, the reason he brought that up wasn't to draw attention to how his poor relationship management skills made others concerned for him. But rather to point out, that the men knew, that MC is important to Baxter. Baxter states that he was grateful they met and despite ending their relationship five years ago, he was never sorry he knew MC. He is kinda chaotic with his admission, one second bringing up the chat with the grooms and the other expressing his affection for MC.

Understandably, it makes MC confused. They thought they were the one leading the dance - or the conversation in this case - but clearly now it's Baxter doing that (i mean he is a professional). Even so, he isn't as good with his words as usual and doesn't quite manage to convey what he wants to MC.

He thanks MC for letting him "ramble" for so long and stands up. Shit's getting real. We're about to enter the boss fight.

He moves to sit on the edge of the coffee table, which puts him at the eye level with MC, only closer than before. And then this silly man leans closer acting all calm and confident. Dude. Please. Everytime i play this moment i lose my precious ability to formulate thoughts, not to mention actual sentences. Because. Oh my god.

And then he hits you with THAT. He absolutely knew what MC was thinking about and he is having a lot of fun with teasing them. They realize that he caught on to what was going on and figure that at least it makes it easier to confess. The dialogue varies in this place because of the comfort level - these are their thoughts on the Direct setting. They also think about how hard would it be to tell him they liked him before he opened up to them. I find it pretty funny, because it’s clearly a tiny poke, towards players who did confess right after the wedding and faced this struggle. When you’re replaying those moments it does make you chuckle.

Now we can finally confess our feelings! When doing that verbally there are a couple of options to choose from, as in the case of the wedding confession. One of the options is: "Could I consider all the time we spent together a date?" and you already know i love this one. It's playful, it's a reference to when Baxter asked MC out five years ago, it's perfect. There is no contender, i always choose it.

...Is what i would say, but i actually always choose the option to confess with a kiss during this feelings reveal.

Confessing with a kiss looks a bit different from the first confession. This time there aren't multiple options to choose where we want to kiss him, MC goes straight (or is it?) for the lips. And the way that kiss is described is everything to me. I'm an absolute sucker for kissing scenes and this one is just so, so, so good! I cannot find fitting words in english (and neither can i in polish) so i'll just drop one screenshot from it and move along before i combust.

It's so tender and sweet and adorable please-

While Baxter was acting super confident and cocky, the second MC declares their love for him/moves to kiss him he turns into a shy, blushing mess. Despite knowing or at least suspecting what MC was about to do he is still caught of guard. I think that his reaction is absolutely adorable. Baxter doesn't blush a lot, so it's always a treat when he does.

We can choose to tell Baxter, that MC wanted to be with him even five years ago and this stuns him again.

Now that MC have confessed their love they're waiting for Baxter to respond. But GOD, is he struggling. It's the first time Baxter is so flustered and it makes me so giddy. He allows himself to show how much MC means to him and holy shit, this man cannot look at them for too long because he will just blush even harder.

From the way he is acting it's already clear that he reciprocates MC's feelings. But the fact that he gets so shy? Stole my heart, sir how dare you be so cute.

Of course, Baxter Ward cannot stay flustered for long and he eventually recovers. Damn it.

His response to the confession is so sweet. He basically says "my turn" and tells MC all the things he loves about being with them, how they made him feel and how much he appreciates them. There is still a moment of self-loathing, when Baxter regrets trying to keep MC out of his life- twice. He is surprised that MC still has feelings for him, still wants to be with him despite all the pain he caused them.

He still brings up all the potential reasons why this could be a bad idea. Limited connections, his current financial situation and his past ways of managing relationships. But unlike in the Wedding Confession, here those aren't statements for MC to refute. I'd say they are less of a warning for MC and more of an expose of himself, to be sure that he revealed everything he considers a flaw before accepting their confession. "By all accounts, I shouldn't be doing this. But I am." - those are his words. Even if he still has his doubts, he isn't going to turn MC down anymore. If he let them go now, in fear of potentially not being enough in this relationship, he would regret it.

And so that is his response: "If you'll have me you will have me." Don't mind if i do- yoink.

While he calmed down a bit for this admission, he gets flustered yet again. It's so adorable to see him be so affected by MC and this situation.

Baxter says that it was easier asking MC out himself all those years ago. He is still so out of it that he voices out loud that he has no idea what to do now. His usual grace and poise are still on leave it seems. He follows it up with that it would be the best if he switched from sitting on the coffee table to somewhere with a backrest, just in case. Dude. Baxter is so strongly impacted by this confession that he is fully aware that there is a possiblity that he will just topple down. I'm melting, it's so cute!

He moves to the couch and MC joins him over there. Once Baxter calms down a bit, he says he is starting to "remember some possiblities" and the two kiss again. I can't even begin describe how much i love the way the kissing moments are written. They're amazing and i'm losing my mind.

The last question Baxter has is if his feelings were obvious to MC. He recounts when Jude asked him point-blank if he was still 'into' MC - we get a couple of dialogue answers to pick, either reacting to Jude even asking about it or answering Baxter's question.

And that is the end of this confession! Baxter overcomes his sheepishness at last, no longer blushing intensely. Quite a shame, but i think we all love his usual charming self as well.

There are no more reservations about showing his true feelings. The pair has been reunited after five years and are finally ready to start a long-term relationship. Good for them <3

Baxter shares one last thought at the end of this long conversation:

And yes, this is the other reason why i call this confession the Morning Confession specifically! It's entirely because of Baxter pointing it out. And because he is so surprised about this turn of events.

The second part is finally over! I worked on it during those two weeks (holy fuck, why) it took me to post it. I'm a bit bummed it took me this long to finish it, but i did my best <3

This part is definitely longer than the first, the brainrot got to me. I haven't started the third part yet but i already replayed the last confession scene and honestly? I forgot how good it was compared to the other two! Shame on me, truly.

See you in the third part! Peace out~

Part 1

[cel3003-blog]

Pen torturing Colin in a literary way

Inspired by @moirindeclermont 's amazing writings, I've started to imagine some Polin's stories.

Here is the first one. It's not the most innovative, but it was a first inspiration...

I would like you to forgive me for my lack of vocabulary, english not being my native language. Actually, I would love you to help me to improve my english in the comment, if you notice a big mistake or if you'd have a better way to express some of my ideas...

Thanks in advance.

* * *

Penelope felt tired. She realized that her head and back were aching. She had spent too much time at her desk, writing. A few weeks ago, Colin offered her the same journal as his, to make sure she always had something to write in, when she hadn’t anything to write about in her column. She told him she had a few stories in mind and he suggested she put them in words. And so, he bought her her own journal. Three journals, in fact. “I am pretty sure you will have A LOT to write”, he told her. And he wanted to be sure she would not run out of paper.

She loved him so much.

She couldn’t still manage to realize how all this could have happened. She was Colin’s wife. And he loved her. And he made everything to prove her his love, every single day. With flowers, with presents (like her journals!), with gentle words, with grand declarations, with his body. Penelope had long stopped counting the times they had made love. Almost every day since her sisters’ ball (when they finally found each other back). Sometimes twice or even thrice a day. Colin seemed to never get tired of kissing her, stroking her, making love to her. And neither did she! Each time his hands touched her felt like a thunderbolt in her whole body. She hoped that this feeling will last forever.

A glance at the clock made Penelope realize that it was quite late. Colin left their study a moment ago to go to bed. “I’ll join you in a minute”, she had told him, still having an idea or two she wanted to lay on the paper. Colin had smiled when she had said that: he knew she’ll go to bed way later than in a minute. Penelope was very productive in her writing during the evening (Colin was more a “morning man”, for this intellectual activity, but he had been way less productive these past few weeks, preferring staying in bed with Pen) and he knew she would not join him before her mind was cleared from all her thoughts. Which was not an issue, for him: he had taken the habit to go to bed alone, reading books or pieces of his journals and taking notes for the editing, waiting for Penelope to arrive. They told her maid a long time ago, now, to leave early in the evening. That Penelope would not require her help to be prepared for the night. “I can take care of that myself” Colin had told Pen. And he did. Every single night. He would help her getting rid of her dress, her petticoat, her corset. And rarely did he have to help her put her nightgown on. That was not necessary.

When Penelope entered the bedroom, she found Colin leaning against the pillows, reading, as usual. She joined him on the bed, snuggling up against his shoulder. He turned his head to kiss her. “Do you mind if I keep reading for a few minutes more?” he asked. “I still have one or two pages to be read…” “Of course, not”, she answered, kissing him back. Then, she added “do you mind if my hand wanders on your body while you are reading? I would not like to disturb your mind from whatever you are reading…” She looked at him with a not-at-all innocent smile. He smiled back at her. “I would mind if you would not do so” he said, smiling even wider. “In fact, this is a very good idea, considering I am reading one of your letters.” She looked at him in surprise. “You are reading one of my letters? Why?” “To have you here with me even when you are writing in the study”, he told her, kissing her again. “And, also, because I started to do so, just after our wedding, and I cannot help carrying on, now. Your letters really are the best ones I have ever read.” Then, he added, with a little smirk on his face “And since you have told me for how long you have loved me…” (he paused, as if remembering the moment she confessed to him, in the church, before their wedding. How amazing he had felt, at this very moment. And also, how ashamed and a perfect idiot he thought he had been all those years. How could have he been this blind? This stupid? Thank God, he will have a lifetime to show her how much she is loved, from this day on…) “…I have decided to see if I could find any clue of your love for me in your letters.” “And?” she asked. “And I have to admit that if I haven’t been that stupid, I could have found some proves here and there. The biggest one being the number of letters you have sent me…” “I do not think I have replied to more letters than I have received from you, Colin”, she said, teasing him, “what does that say about you?” “That I have been a perfect blind idiot for an embarrassingly long time”, he answered, adding “My heart was obviously sending messages to my brain but this latter could not understand them…” Penelope smiled. “It is a good thing your mind finally understood your heart…” “It is, indeed”, he answered, leaning to put his hand on her cheek and kiss her. She kissed him back then said “Go back to your reading while I take care of you…” He smiled and did as asked.

Penelope, still snuggling up against her husband’s shoulder, slid her hand below the sheet and started to run her fingers on his skin. Colin was naked so she did not encounter any obstacles on her way up from his thigh to his chest. And neither on the way back down. She did so for a few seconds, glancing at Colin’s face and appreciating his reactions to her caresses. Then she stayed in the area of his member, pacing her fingers in small circles. As she thought it would be, Colin’s sex had already begun to harden. She knew the effect she had on him (to be honest, he had exactly the same effect on her), she knew he could not resist if she would touch him there. She had learnt it the very first day they have made love. First, she had been surprised when he prevented her from touching him there (especially because he had told her she could touch him anywhere) but, later, just before they went for a second round, he had taken time to explain to her how things “worked” and why he could not risk to let her put her hand down there. “I wanted it to be good for you” he had told her, back then, “I did not want to ruin the whole thing in a few seconds…” They had laughed together and she had thanked him for his “thoughtfulness”.

Now she could note that, once more, he was pleased by her touching him. His arm fell on the sheet, still holding the letter, and his head leant back against the pillows, his eyes shut. “Oh no,” she said in a false angry voice “you must keep reading, Mister Bridgerton!” He grinned at her “Dear God, Pen, do you want to torture me?” “Maybe…”, she answered in a laugh, then added “And I want you to read out loud so I know you are not missing a word I have written” Colin sighed with a smile but kept reading the letter out loud, while his wife kept pacing her fingers around his penis, and making small strokes all along his now hard-as-rock member. Her full hand started to move up and down, making Colin gasp and stop reading for a second. “Pen, please…” he started… “Keep reading, Colin. I cannot hear you…” she commanded. “Or, maybe, you want me to stop?” she asked, with a devilish smile on her face. That was pure torture and she knew it. But she was used to his tortures without never complaining (well… almost never complaining) so she knew he will be able to endure hers. And so, Colin kept on reading out loud his then friend’s letter. Penelope’s hand carried on her moves on Colin’s penis, faster and faster, and he managed (God only knows how) to read Pen’s words without flinching. She pretty remembered each letter she had sent him all over the years of their friendship so she knew perfectly when the letter will be about to end. She moved her hand even faster to make sure she would reach the end of the reading on a perfect timing.

And she succeded.

She heard her husband’s voice die, whispering “Yours truly, Penelope.”

Without stopping her move, she looked straight in his eyes and said “It’s Mrs Bridgerton, now” and leaned over to take Colin’s member in her mouth, which finished him off.

The end.

[thebibliosphere]

Fellow adhd writer, how do I stick with a single topic and finish it? I could always manage my academic papers well enough but I’ve been trying to write fic for the last few years and can’t ever seem to finish one before another idea grabs me and I keep following one idea after the other

So, the way I manage that, is I often have more than one project going on at once. Being able to alternate between them provides my shiny crow brain with enough stimulation and variety to prevent me from getting bored.

I also keep a word document of "random thoughts that won't leave me tf alone," where I scribble things down to get the idea and impulse to follow it out of my head.

If I still can't stop thinking about it, I'll start planning it out. Devoting that level of attention to something will do one of two things for me. One, I'll have the outline for my next WIP done, or two, my brain will go, "aw, you want to make this into work?" and drop it like a hot potato.

To make progress on current projects, I set small daily goals. On average days, my minimum creative word count is 500.

Which, by the way, is often on par with the goal professional, award-winning writers set for themselves. Being able to write tens of thousands of words in a day sure is a thing some people are capable of (I am when I'm hyperfixating), but it's not sustainable, and you may be setting yourself up for burnout--especially if you try to maintain it longterm.

On bad days, I will reduce it to "okay, let's do a half hour and see how far I get." If I'm able to trap my attention, great. I'll keep going until I meet my goal.

If I can't, I accept that today is a low-attention day and acknowledge that I likely need more sleep, food, or stimulating recreation to give my brain both a rest and a boost. I do not consider these lost or failed days. They are all part of the productive, creative cycle and necessary. This is true whether you are NT or ND.

Body doubling can also be very helpful for those of us who work better with others present. I do body doubling with friends or people in my Discord sometimes. (Starting that up again soon, folks, just as soon as I get the okay to start working more from the eye doctor!) So if that sounds like something you'd enjoy, try asking friends if they'd like to set time aside to write together. Shared productivity can be beneficial for keeping ADHD and other flavors of ND on track.

If you lose all interest in a project. Shelve it and follow one of the other WIPS. Sometimes you need to be in a better place to work on certain things, and that's okay.

Some people thrive with a stricter structure than that, but this is what works for me. Small goals, allowing myself the time to follow diversions (while also trying to meet daily goals), and taking the time out to ensure I'm getting enough good stimulation in other ways. Took me a while in therapy to figure out a healthy work-life balance, but that's mine.

I hope that helps or provides a greater sense of solidarity.

[clatterbane]

While I am evidently on a ranting roll tonight, it also really fucking bothered me that the new endocrinologist that I happened to see for a routine yearly diabetes check-in a few weeks back, after the last one moved? She apparently decided that as essentially an ethnic minority of one here, I look weird enough that it might well be pathological.

(I would probably feel a little different about it if she weren't also from anothet ethnic minority--albeit one that is MUCH more common locally and in this country at large. It doesn't hit quite the same that way, but I still found it pretty damned offensive.)

It also didn't help that my basic build helped get me treated like garbage so much under the NHS--with definite racial undertones at times. I would just as soon never hear a single word about my meat form again, which is not very directly relevant to the issue I have come in over, and in a non-fatphobic way.

But yeah, I have ended up looking like a lot of my mother's family in middle age. If one of the thinner versions these days.

Shitty crop of me with my mom, 20 years and at least 50 lbs. ago.

We have big kinda flat faces with barrel chests and big shoulders--and our arms and legs also turn skinnier-looking by comparison to the big old torso as we get older. No matter how much meat is over it (and I am still fairly scrawny now!), you are still gonna be mostly shoulders and a ribcage which is NOT dainty. Mr. C half-laughingly backed me up that half my family is just Like This, and he hasn't even seen all the extended clan together.

And the (very) extended family resemblance kinda goes farther than that. (Thus the ethnic part being very fucking relevant.) I don't always necessarily like it, but that's just how we're made.

So yeah, that new endo decided to send me to be tested for Cushing's Syndrome, entirely based on eyeballing.

Look, it's me! Go off, I guess.

(She also asked some pointed questions like whether my freakishly skinny arms made it difficult to wheel myself around in the chair. Erm, NOPE, not at all. Absolutely no symptoms other than striking her as Wrong Looking. She also recorded in the notes which I can see online, that I was getting less exercise than I said I was--very possibly mentally filtering my actual answer through that Freakish Twig Limb perception.)

What gets me even worse is that I DO totally coincidentally have experience with Cushing's, from when I got that pituitary tumor in my teens. She knew nothing about this when she brought the subject up out of the blue.

As the first medical professional to ever do so over the past 30-odd years, I might add. Nobody who has actually been aware of that history has triggered on it either.

Cushing's is very noticeable and very hard to live with! I got extremely sick, gained like 80 lbs. over a year from it, and developed the actual corticosteroid moonface then! Nobody much wanted to listen to me at the time, likely mostly because AFAB teenager! But, I do know very well what that fucking feels like!

But yeah, that thankfully got fixed and I haven't experienced symptoms for like 30 years. That whole experience was also very freaking traumatic, which is probably not helping my reaction now with it getting brought back up so bizarrely and unexpectedly. (Also, could I somehow be secretly Very Sick now without realizing it?! I do very much rationally doubt it, but doubt still keeps nagging at me.)

I guess I had better play along for now. In a way, it is good to see another demonstration that they don't seem to do the same kind of foolish pennypinching here as under the NHS. They will refer you for whatever testing they think is necessary, even if that sometimes includes a labwork wild goose chase based on some terrible assumptions! I would rather have them be thorough, even when it's dumb as hell and kinda insulting.

I am indeed pretty confident that I just look like a middle-aged $SURNAME from another freaking continent, who is also recovering from malnutrition and still pretty scrawny. (Which the doc was aware of.) I am also still feeling some kind of way about this fact setting off weird alarm bells in some new doctor that I am stuck dealing with for the foreseeable future.

I could easily make some of my own unflattering speculations based on her appearance, which was very different from my own. Sorta Marfanoid, with buggy eyes possibly indicating thyroid issues? (Maybe there's also some wider ethnic thing going on there too, for all I know. I have seen a lot more folks from her part of the world than basically anyone here has from mine!)

But yeah, that really really would not go over too well. And it's not my place either.

[jgnico]

maybe this is just my very hot take but I think people who want gojo to be relevant in jjk beyond what he has already done so far don't get the story. anyone who criticises yuuji as the mc doesn't understand jjk. it's confusing to me how gojo's entire goal is to prepare a new generation of sorcerers to be able to overthrow the system, seeing the young generation consolidate after his death even in such a disastrous situation and having such a big focus on the difference between gojo's generation and the kids and then having readers say stuff like "I want gojo to come back to defeat kenjaku". I swear it doesn't make sense to me how you read a story for over 200 chapters and still miss the point. yeah it's understandable to not get all the references or symbolism but the core of the story, really? the main message? I agree that there's criticism to be made about jjk and I'm one of the first to jump on the wagon when it comes to certain things but I really think gege receives an undeserved ammount of negative criticism for jjk. I also think gojo's death was obvious for a very long time but anyways. hope you have a good day, nico :)

Piping hot take, scalding even, but also one that I completely agree with.

I'd also like to point out that despite Gojo's position as the strongest of the modern era, and therefore someone that you would expect to have a large impact on the story by winning the fights that he's in, has never actually won a significant fight in the antagonists' favor.

The Jogo fight? Jogo and Hanami get away. The Goodwill Event? Hanami gets away and Mahito steals 3 death paintings + the school's supply of fingers. The first Toji fight? He loses and Riko dies. The second Toji fight? He wins, but it doesn't matter because killing Toji at this point wasn't necessary. The Shibuya fight? He gets sealed with the only major loss for the antagonists being Hanami and the transfigured humans in b5f. The Sukuna fight? He dies without dealing any lasting damage to Sukuna.

But it isn't just Gojo that isn't getting anything done for the older generation. Nanami dies to Mahito without killing a single antagonist in Shibuya. Mei Mei flees after almost dying to Kenjaku. Naobito flat out dies to Jogo after the Dagon fight.

As a matter of fact, the antagonists dealt more damage to themselves in Shibuya that anyone from the older generation of Sorcerers did. Choso quite literally takes himself out. Toji kills Dagon after Megumi makes it possible for him to get to him before taking himself out. Sukuna kills Jogo. Kenjaku exorcizes Mahito after Yuuji and Todo + Nobara nearly kill him.

Even more recently, you have Yuki dying to Kenjaku and Kashimo also dying to Sukuna.

All of this only reinforces the point that the story isn't about Gojo or any previous generation accomplishing anything. They're there to be an example; to show us, the audience, how jujutsu society operates and fails it's sorcerers, and to reinforce the themes of the story, but more importantly, to be an example for the students of what they need to surpass in order to achieve what no other generation could.

There are things that I absolutely will ctiticize Gege over - namely, his extremely limited use of his female characters that aren't Maki - but I agree that there's a lot of stuff that the fandom gives Gege shit over that they wouldn't if they understood/cared about the story more. Gege isn't a bad writer and JJK hasn't gone downhill as much as people like to say it has. Likewise, he isn't a bad writer for killing Gojo when everything in the story leading up to that point told us that Gojo would not and could not win that fight. And he won't be a bad writer if he never brings Gojo back when there isn't a single good reason for him to do so.

Which leads us inevitably back to the same question that I asked a while ago: For the people that fully believe that Gojo is going to come back; Why do you want that to happen and how would it benefit the story?