#being sad today

[diamondsheep]

East Blue Crew ✨ !!!

[cheekylittlepupp]

He’s so beautiful when he’s sad

[skunkes]

[untitledgoosegay]

re last reblog I do see fanfic culture pushing/replicating a certain model of "what trauma looks like," "how trauma works"

this is a problem across all areas of society obviously, but transformative works are, well, transformative. they're about crafting and modifying narratives where the fan-creator sees a flaw or a lack -- often for the better! don't get me wrong, I've done my fair share of "I take a hammer and I fix the canon," it's the main thing that gets my creative gears spinning -- but what happens when that "flaw" is simply a narrative not conforming to popular expectations?

some people just don't get PTSD from events that sound obviously traumatic. they're not masking, and they're not coping; they just straight-up didn't get the permanently-locked stress-response that defines PTSD. they walk away from a horrible experience going "well, that sucked, but it's over now." some people do get PTSD from events most people wouldn't find traumatic. we don't really know why some people get PTSD and others don't. but fandom has an idea of events that must be traumatizing, of a "correct" way to portray trauma. you see the problems with this lack of understanding in e.g. fans pressuring the devs of Baldur's Gate 3 to add dialogue where the player character badgers Halsin about his own feelings on his abuse -- because he must be traumatized, and his trauma must fit a certain mold and presentation of sexual trauma, under the mistaken impression that anything outside that narrow window is somehow "wrong" and disrespectful or even harmful to survivors.

take, for another example, the very common trope of a traumatized character who hates touch or sex "learning" to like touch or sex as a part of their healing process. certainly that can be healing for some people; other people will never like, or want, touch or sex, because of trauma or because they just don't. the assumption that someone who doesn't want sex or doesn't like to be touched must be traumatized, must be suffering from this perceived lack, is seriously harmful -- to asexual people, to people with sensory issues around touch, and to people for whom healing from trauma means freedom to refuse sex or touch.

and there's a secondary trope, one that's slightly more thoughtful but ultimately repeats the problem -- that once someone has learned that their boundaries will be respected, they'll feel it's safe to soften those boundaries. once they feel safe refusing touch or sex, they'll feel comfortable allowing it on their own terms. but many people don't, and many people won't! many people will simply never want to be touched, and never want sex, and they are not suffering or broken or lacking because of it. the idea that proving you'll respect someone's boundaries entitles you to test those boundaries -- the paradox is obvious, and yet this is something i've seen hurt (re-traumatize) people i care for.

people are imperfect victims. people don't heal in the ways you expect. many people have positive memories of their abuse, of their abusers. many people hurt others in the course of their trauma, in ways that can't easily be unpacked in a 5k oneshot. very few narratives of trauma and recovery actually fit the ones put forward by popular children's media and romance novels -- which are the ones I most see replicated in fandom spaces, because they provide the clearest narrative and easiest catharsis, and so they're easy and soothing to reach for.

that's not necessarily a bad thing! i am not immune to goopy romance tropes. i am not immune to teary catharsis. not every fic has to grapple with ugly realities. but there's a problem when these narratives become predominant, when people think they're accurate and realistic depictions of trauma, when the truth of trauma is unpleasant and uncomfortable, and doesn't fit any single narrative, let alone one of comforting catharsis

[yapperina]

imagine spending an easy relaxing day with rafayel, just messing around and talking and you ask him something making a silly little remark like "I want to understand you better <3" and watch in real time as his smile slides right off and his face drops because he can't have this happen

[azaharinflames]

went to my parents’ place to spend the night because i didn’t feel like being alone, and my mom being my mom, made it so i just started crying to her. like full on sobbing.

and talking with her made me realize why this truly is upsetting.

it’s because we got hate when what we tried really hard to give was love and patience. we tried to be the bigger person and received a fuck off. and this in no way means next time i won’t choose to be the bigger person. it just means that makes me sad.

and it makes me sad because they also rewarded hate. they rewarded hate with love, and that just feels even worse.

in a week where everything has been so scary, and where hate has been so predominant, we truly were expecting to feel comforted by our comfort show.

and instead we got what we got. and now the comfort show is just another part of the hate.

[betweenmee]

It feels heavier than it seems

[ricky-mortis]

Curtwen Week Day 6: Happy Ending

[jakeperalta]

defining a "comfort album" as whatever feels right to you :)

[rawliverandcigarettes]

Thinking about Mass Effect, as you do, and how I'm kind of sad that the way it's been engraved in pop culture has more to do with the way internet reacted to it at the time than what the actual game is about. Yes sure, it's about romance (and not that much all things considered) and it's pulpy (but not solely because of hot lady aliens), but it's also intricate worldbuilding that touches on a lot of sharp ideas, and a complicated tug-of-war between a genuine and vulnerable belief in reconciliation and community VS post 9-11 US military propaganda and steadfast belief in heroic exceptionalism, and the melancholic yet energizing mood, and the daring narrative systems, and so so much more than the 'We'll Bang OKs" and the "There's No Shepard Without Vakarian" and the whole ME3 ending situation

It's all there, but I'm sad the impact of the series is often reduced to (what I think is) the least interesting parts of its sum

[unnonexistence]

hermann thoughts: if i discredit newton and his approach enough, the martial won't give him the equipment for his kaiju drift, and i can protect him from himself. if he despises me for it, so be it. there is little i wouldn't sacrifice to see him safe.

newt thoughts: this is a Best Science competition and i have to Win

[icantdothistodaybruh]

[royalarchivist]

Fit: Where are you, Pac? I got you, I got you, I gotchu!

Pac: I'm in- I'm in- I'm in heaven, Fit! I'm in heaven...

Fit: No, you're not in heaven yet! You're not going to heaven, no no no–

Pac: I'm gonna go for... I'm going- I'm going to the light, I'm going to the light...

Fit: Stay with me, stay with me! Stay with me.

Pac: I'm going for the light– [Sighs in relief as he's revived] I'm here.

Fit: You're good, you're good.

[Full Transcript ↓ ]

—

Tina: Wow, the radius for that is huge.

Pac: [Steps on a mine and gets blown up] Whoa!

Fit: Oh, those are all mines, arent' they? Those are all mines, you bastard.

Aypierre: Let- let- let me fix this road... [He starts placing blocks]

Foolish: See? This is why mines need to be allowed, they're too fun.

Fit: [Laughs]

Pac: Yeah, actually.

Aypierre: Look, look– it's perfect, it's perfect.

Pac: [Steps on one of the blocks Aypierre placed, which was a mine, and immediately blows up]

Fit: Pac! No, Pac–! NOOO!!!

Pac: [Laughs and then shouts at Aypierre]

Aypierre: Where are you, Pac?

[Time skip]

Foolish: Did you get your stuff, Tina?

Tina: I will... I'll find a way... [She steps on a mine and blows up] AAAAAAAAA–

[Fit and Pac laugh]

Tina: PLEASE!

Fit: Those are all mines!

Tina: No, please! My stuff! I gotta go– [She gets lit on fire and screams again] PLEASE!

Pac: God damnnit!

Tina: Please, I just want my stuff back!

[They all laugh]

Fit: Jesus.

Tina: I'm gonna go get it! I'm gonna get it! Aghhhh–

Foolish: [Jumping in after Tina] Wait, there could be another landmine!

Tina: I want my things, Foolish!!!

Pac: [Jumps in too and steps on a landmmine, which immediately downs him] AAAAA!!!

Fit: Sht– Where are you, Pac? I got you, I got you, I gotchu!

Pac: [Overlapping with Fit] I'm in- I'm in- I'm in heaven, Fit! I'm in heaven...

Fit: No, you're not in heaven yet! You're not going to heaven, no no no–

Pac: I'm gonna go for... I'm going- I'm going to the light, I'm going to the light...

Fit: Stay with me, stay with me! Stay with me.

Pac: I'm going for the light– [Sighs in relief as he's revived] I'm here.

Fit: You're good, you're good.

Tina: Oh god... I'm scared, I'm scared!

Foolish: You did it!

[soleminisanction]

Okay this misconception keeps coming across my dash and it drives me nuts because it means people are lumping two very different versions of the DC universe under one disparaging banner. So let me just say this to get it off my chest because I'm this close to shaking somebody:

The New 52 ended seven years ago in 2016.

That started a section of DC's history called "Rebirth" in which they started bringing elements of the pre-Flashpoint continuity back into the timeline. The first changes came in a big burst called Convergence -- which is how Jon Kent effectively manifested fully formed at 10 years old -- while other reintroductions like Kon-El, Bart Allen, Cass Cain, etc. were more gradual.

The original plan, being forced through by King of Bad Decisions Dan Didio, was that after ~4-5 Rebirth would give way to another full reboot known as 5G. I could go into detail about the plans but they're honestly not important to this post because Didio was (thankfully, finally) ousted from his role as publisher early in 2020, along with something like 80% of the higher-level editorial staff. DC had a complete creative turn-over at the start of the pandemic and completely changed directions as a result. The material being developed for 5G was retooled into the hypothetical future event "Future State" to buy the new staff time to pull together their new direction.

That new direction is called INFINITE FRONTIER. It started in 2021 and THAT is the era of DC comics we're in now. Infinite Frontier is an active push to bring back the pre-Flashpoint characters, as well as some pre-Crisis ideas and characters, while also keeping the few elements of the New 52 that people actually liked (like Jason Todd's more heroic characterization) and actively pursuing diversity initiatives both in creative staff and in creations. And outside of the big events, they're making a real effort to keep these comics short and self contained in the hopes that that'll make them more accessible. So it's actually really easy, if you read comics pre-Flashpoint and dropped off, to just pick up a series and go with the flow. Anything confusing is just a Google away.

Please, please don't make the mistake of thinking modern comics are as bad as the New 52 just because some people are butthurt their ship isn't getting canonized. There have been some really good comics made in the last few years that you should totally try! Spirit World, Monkey Prince and the entire We Are Legends line has been genuinely fantastic. The new Birds of Prey is shaping up to be a ton of fun. Dark Knights of Steel is an entertaining Elseworld. Urban Legends and Brave & the Bold have done some really fun things with shorter anthology books. One Minute War was a really fun Flash family event and everything Stargirl's done recently is liable to make you cry.

I'm begging people to give these comics a chance. It's just really sad to see them being dismissed out of hand.

[pinkresurrection]

📸: voguearabia

“These are but a handful of the doctors, journalists, and photographers who are risking their lives day and night to bury the dead, heal the wounded, and show the world the horrors raining down on Gaza.”

From top to bottom:

Plestia Alaqad, Journalist

Motaz Azaiza, Photographer

Youmna El-Qunsol, Journalist

Dr. Ghassan Abu-Sittah, Surgeon

Dr. Mohammed Al Ghoula, Doctor

[starmocha]

When fictional men say the words you want and need to hear ❤️