#being nearly there but just out of reach
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Hey hey do you think Athena almost went to go visit odysseus out of habit because she was bored and wanted someone to mess with, because she found a new move that would be perfect for him, because she had to witness some absolute idiocy and if she has to suffer odysseus does too and maybe after she wants he'll make some dumb joke that'll make her find the whole thing funny, because she misses him and didn't realize how lonely she was until she didn't have his friendship, because she cannot sleep at night and cannot stop replaying their last conversation over and over and over how as he screamed at her he had tears in his eyes and she---
#epic the musical#Athena#Odysseus#Athena almost visits odysseus so many times out of habit#Athena getting half way to the mortal realm before realizing what she was doing and that she was rightfully /pissed/ at him#And waiting for him to apologize and grovel before going to see him again#Later after love in paradise#As Athena is letting Apollo heal her#She can't help but reach into her well of prayers wondering if odysseus had reached out and she missed it somehow#And finding thousands of prays to her from odysseus#Half finished things where he starts to pray then cuts off with swears#Prayers that are just her name shouted in distress and out of reflex clearly coming from when odysseus was fighting some new monster#And prayer after prayer while he was trapped on Calypso's island begging her to end it to punish him in any other way#Prayer after prayer after prayer of odysseus/begging her while being assulted/#Athena nearly threw up when she heard them gods why hadn't she heard him ? Why did she not feel his prayers#Until after she had opened their old mental link she hadn't blocked him completely she should have heard#Who had prevent his prayers from reaching her?#This kinda turned into a different post in the tags whoops#Oh well not the first time not the last
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"Cuhut it out- you guys!" "Nu-uh, not until you're all perked up first! You don't want those gym challengers meetin' with an ol' mopey leader, do ya?" "Whitney's right, dear friend. No need to hide that beautiful smile of yours, alright?~"
What it takes to cheer up Johto's beloved ghost boy 👻💕
#some incredibly self-indulgent fluff for my own sake SKJDFSNDFS#Morty was having one of Those days where the weight of his responsibilities as leader and expectations as someone meant to bring back Ho-Oh#-felt a little too heavy to handle (more so than usual)#luckily his best friends (and mayhaps crush of nearly an entire decade) are here to take a stand against his low mood 🤼#I've been having brainrot of Whitney's dynamics with these two alrighttttt they all deserve to be silly with each other#best wingman award goes to this girlie for putting up with these two's mutual pining antics for years sdkfjskjdfh#the way I see it Morty and Whitney were besties way back before they had even become leaders (with Morty being the older between them)#there were definitely rumors going around between their towns about how they're an item#when the reality is that Whitney's more focused on winning the affections of the other cute girls she hangs out with#while Morty's a repressed gay lad burdened with religious guilt SDJFHUISJDNFS /LH /LH#the second Whitney caught wind of Morty actually developing a crush on someone you just Know she was on his ass Immediately#asking about aaall the details--who he is- what he does- how he dresses- if he could even conceivably pass her standards of how a--#--fitting partner for her best friend's meant to be#to which an incredibly exasperated Morty struggles to answer because Eusine is just beyond his comprehension /affectionate#when Whitney does eventually get to meet him in person the first time she most certainly takes a jab at his fashion sense SDKJFSDFNS#BUT they do end up getting along a lot better than Morty braced for- which was a huge relief to him#it soon reaches that point where Eusine's secretly asking her for details on the things Morty likes and how to possibly impress him#all the while Morty's asking her for advice on how he could cope with his feelings when he's still unsure on whether they'd be requited#Whitney finds the whole ordeal simultaneously very funny and perhaps one of the most frustrating things imaginable SDKJFSKDNFS#enough of me yapping thouuughhhhhh I should save that for its own post 🏃♀️🏃♀️🏃♀️#pokemon tickle#gym leader morty#morty pokemon#gym leader whitney#whitney pokemon#mystery man eusine#eusine pokemon#eusine#lee!morty#ler!eusine
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True confidence in your dog being a pushover is pissing them off until they snarl at you, then continuing to piss them off while kissing the snarl, inches from sharp teeth that could end you.
I enjoy making Riley angry and daring her to bite me.
As a puppy, when she WAS very bitey, I'd poke her cheek into her teeth so if she bit at my finger she got her own cheek first. She would pretend to gnaw on my finger and snarl really viciously but really she was lightly gumming her own cheek.
#Riley forgets herself sometimes and has bitten people pretty severely on accident#Like she over-reaches for a treat in your hand and bites your fingers or jumps at you while you're going to her and collides#never intentional always accidental#but i think everyone has a scar from her#she nearly bit the end of my finger off going for a treat- her tooth went through the nail#but i still piss her off#now when you give her a treat you go 'gently riley' and she will soften her stance and still snap at it quickly#but mostly with her lips and not teeth#once she jumped up to hug my mother while my mother was bending down to hug her#and my mom ended up with a black eye from where Riley 'punched' her#which at first hurt and i was empathetic i promise#but it became HYSTERICAL when we tried to eat out and realized EVERYONE who saw her thought my father punched her#and when my mother bruises it lasts for over a month#so my father refused to eat out with us after a while because he was tired of being glared at#and 'our dog did it' just sounds like a bad lie#i suggested she get a shirt with that on it#back then she worked at a high school as a secretary and the police officer stationed in the school took her aside#and was like doing the 'this is a safe space. even for adults. you can tell me if there are problems at home.' trying to help her#and she had to explain to him 3 times it was the dog; then called me to explain; then i came over at dismissal with riley#and he met her and she tried to hug him and he understood finally#my dad is now able to laugh about this#riley
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this keeps me up at night btw.
#mipha#botw#loz breath of the wild#TWICE??? SHE DID IT TWICE??????? AND WE'RE JUST GONNA MOVE PAST THAT????????? literally NO one else has been said to be able to do this#and like. hm. is it. is it... love??#like you know how zelda and her powers are implied to work the same. they focus on protecting the one(s) they love & their powers activate#(i know people theorise that mipha was going to tell zelda her power works when she thinks about link but i've always thought she was going#to say that it works when she thinks about saving the person under her care. because it doesnt really make sense to me that her healing#would work for other people if she was only focused on saving link you know? so i've always thought it was just 'saving the people i love')#and zelda is technically able to do this with link after he wakes up and he's the only person her powers woke for#so does this work maybe like an inverse or an extension of how their powers usually work? like instead of it just being their love for the#other person it's the other person/people's love or reciprocated love for them. zelda & link are implied to have really only had each other#but mipha. mipha had a family and a whole kingdom. she was connected to nearly all of them when she passed and both these events#are said to have taken place shortly after she fell. in the dlc she asks link to pass on a message to sidon for her implying that she#can no longer speak to him as she once could. perhaps that's just her power waning over time but if you think about it in the context#of how the domain is slowly losing people who knew her and those who remain only remember her for what she did for them rather than who#she truly was then could she have stopped being able to connect with them because there was no one left who loved her as they once did.#loved her for who she was.#was she in vah ruta reaching out for her father and brother and realising slowly that they were forgetting her#... 'do not cry. just remember' huh.#freya talks loz#so consumed by mipha thoughts i forgot my own tag
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why is making a cv SO hard
#fuck being an adult fr#my anxiety is reaching unknown levels i feel SICK#and i'm not even making it from scratch im just updating it#bc i've had enough and i wanna get out of hospitality asap#but i forgot how much i hate this and searching for jobs and going through interviews#my flatmates are basically holding me at gunpoint bc they know how much i struggle with this stuff and that i need them to#hold me accountable . otherwise i won't do it#but even like this it's taken me nearly 2 hours to write a couple of paragraphs#godddd i just wanna write my silly lil fanfiction why is the world such a miserable and wretched place
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uuuuuhhh no reason just wanna see the robot get preggers because nobody is really taking advantage of the narrative consequences of the robots of ULTRAKILL having fleshy bits inside them (in my humble opinion hahahaha...hahaha....hah....). Anywhosen also a sucker for general Bad End especially when it involves a psycho-sexual (breeding) binding to a greater entity but also I wanna see the murder-robot get knocked up. And the galaxy brain bit of this is instead of calming down they just get Worse.
YEAH NO ONE REALLY TAKES ADVANTAGE OF THAT. and well i mostly assumed a very small percentage of people actually want to breed the robots like that which is why.
also i don't think this as a bad end, but a bad path that can lead to some other.. inch resting things (my stupid ass is trying to craft a plot with horror and drama from this path and how it'd change the story slightly despite knowing I will never get around to writing it in fic form except tiny excerpt ideas and art)
also i have so much to say abt the 'it doesn't calm down it just gets worse' bc its So true
#kicking my legs. it sooo genuinely gets worse i think it believes its actually in “love” with hell. and maybe it is.#gets worse and loses itself more and more. abandon any last trace of identity that had never been regarded anyway by anyone#its easy to let something guide you and instruct you in nearly everything if it feels too painfully good? and why spend more power thinking#altho for the. plot i was conducting in my head it was msotly involving gabriel and the primes bc of an idea my friend gave me which was#that if this occurred before v1 reached the prime sanctums it could have been guided or instructed to go to the sanctums but at the time#it does its currently carrying a child and because of that both the primes and v1 itself are spared because. i dont know if i think#the kings would fight a pregnant person . i at least think sisyphus Wouldnt because wheres the fun in an opponent who appears to already#be disadvantaged. (even if it can fare just fine.)#if any friendships were able to be made (cough . i like sisyphus qnd v1 platonic and romantic) itd be kind of. sad from an outside perspect#ve to watch it deteriorate into being less of its own entity and becoming slowly just another extension of hell. even in fighting it shows.#i wish i could explain it all better#and sorry if this ask is late to be answered i was writing my rwsponse at a con LMAOOO#.txt#ask#i want to write i have no timeee no energyyy but hear me out there is potential for crazy wackjob shit#ive decided also not to kill gabriel i think i should do somethign fucked up with him and his inexperience in relationshios#i forgot who suggested he should get so desperate that he begs for hell to take him as well. (which i cant decide if it would or wouldnt bc#its kind of really funny and mean if it#says no)
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I am so fucking sick of living with my roommate and his fuck ass boyfriend. Also watching my roommate burn every single one of his (already rather minimal, I might add) bridges for this guy is also kind of painful but also his relationship with me is one of said bridges so I'm almost past the point of even feeling bad for him lmao
#i have had to piss for probably the better part of an hour now#because they decided to take a shower together and have been in there for well OVER an hour now#and this is a nightly occurence atp sometimes MULTIPLE times a day#we have one bathroom.... can yall not be considerate enough to not be in there for up to TWO HOURS AT A TIME???#also it's such a waste of fucking water....#idk we've hit a point where i literally hear the bf doing anything and i get pissed off#but also tell me why i'm sitting in my room (which shares a wall with the bathroom) and i can hear this man hacking and spitting shit up#and this is also something that happens multiple times a day#like.... dude.... why are you spitting up toothpaste so fucking loudly oh my fucking god#but yeah no i'm like my roommate's only friend atp and he's about to not have me lmao like we're about to reach#'i'm cutting you off when i move out' levels of me being pissed off with this whole situation type shit#and apparently the bf convinced him to come out to his family which his mom was chill which is good#his dad's side of the family though....? not great. and my roommate KNEW that would be the case cuz we'd talked about it before#also love that my roommate has constantly talked about moving out of the city we live in because he hates and also there's no good career#opportunities for him here (which is true)#and now. MAGICALLY. he's like 'idk i think it'd be best for me to stay here'#like oh my GOD???? are you hearing yourself???? are you fucking stupid???? you fucking hate it here???#but sure throw your life away and ruin all your meaningful relationships for a guy you met six months ago jfc#and the thing is i *know* my roommate we've been close CLOSE friends for nearly a decade now#i know he is not like this.... like yeah he's being insane by allowing this but also i know these aren't the kinds of decisions he would ma#and also i know he wouldn't treat me like this all on his own#it's the deranged fucking control freak of a guy he decided to date and my roommate has too many of his own issues to put his foot down#about certain things and tell the guy no so he's just allowing him to completely take over his life#and fuck everything up until the bf is the only thing he has left once it's all said and done#and yeah. it's painful to watch. but also wtf am i supposed to do because obviously my opinion is not respected nor wanted regarding this#that has been made PAINFULLY clear#ugh this is so fucking horrendous#what is it with ppl who start to date someone and then go clinically fucking insane and destroy their lives all for this one person#who. realistically. they barely know in comparison to all the other ppl in their life#like explain it to me jfc
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the problem with (mostly children-aimed) media friendships having these grand gestures and deep friendships most of the time is, if a lonely child’s only knowledge of friendship shines through the portrayals of grand gestures and huge generosity and unconventional tolerance - they won’t recognize friendship as it starts meekly, or friendship when it is subtle. they won’t be able to light the match and start the fire without kerosene and a torch, and once they leave this warm safe place with tools, they will be lonelier still.
the same vein as ‘media that presents the human experience’, drawing characters with asymmetry and crooked teeth and such because real people are like that and it’s normal, having media that can show the disappointing parts of life as something that still happens even if something goes great. not like a deep dramatic swandive into hazard or loss, but a simple disappointment, dissatisfaction.
#media is certainly entertainment still but it does not have to be tales of grandeur#and it is no fault of showwriters (nor their responsibility) that children get wrong impressions about things#but to potentially reach the excessively online/excessive readers who don’t nearly enough get nice time with people irl#and show them ‘its not always going to be nice. but it will be important and you would miss it if it was gone so it does mean something’#’you will be disappointed and not always happy with someone. you wont always act for each others best interest.#but that does not mean you cannot care about each other. it does not prove they dont care about you.’#also going to call up the genre of posts about ‘what if the hero DIDNT make the sacrifice. the hero matters too’#you have to one-up the previous. and that means not just giving up a reward or your sword or the glory#but your life. your being. experiencing new and exquisite forms of torture to prove your hero’s character and value#and the problem being - that if your hero is to be a role model to someone; and also commended for effectively committing suicide;#that if that happens every time and someone eats that up they NEED to counterbalance that#this may not be widespread but hey. if it doesnt apply. ignore it#i read too many books as a child and the one about the dog who just wanted to be good irreversibly infected me. so now im weird#it was mcgrowl by the way. the dog that goes through a messed up malpractice surgery that replaces#all his bones with metal and then he gets magnetized into a power plant and walks out with superpowers and genius intelligence and telepath
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I imagine red having dyslexia and a stutter. He's very smart and knows many a word but they just. Come out wrong. Struggles in school and has trouble getting help since he doesn't speak often and when he does he stutters/mixes up his words. Which just makes him frustrated which makes it harder to articulate himself. Vicious cycle.
#i think hed talk more as a little kid#but once he reaches an age where peiple are like. judgemental or point out that he misspeaks a lot he gets quieter#he only really talks out loud to his mom for awhile#before meeting green where he will sometimes talk aloud bc green doesnt knkw sign language#red and his mom communicate via signing mostly but he does occasionally talk aloud with her too#i think even when hes comfortable red prefers signing its just. what hes more accustomed to.#writing on paper or sending texts is nearly as stressful as just talking aloud#trainer red#i can imagine little bebe red being really excited so hes rambling to his mom about smth and hes mixing up so many words and sounds#but his excitment is evident and it makes his mom really happy to see him so animated about smth#also as a kid i think his mom would sign even when shes speaking aloud to him just for practice :) they are learning togerher#so rhat red can communicate more in a way thats most comfortable for him. green learns too after they become friends.
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This girl I haven't seen in nearly 7 years reached out, and why does it kind of feel like she's flirting with me? Am I that bad at reading signals?
I fear as though I am having a gay panic moment, despite not knowing if she's gay or interested, or maybe I'm just lonely?!
Help
#relatable?#funny#hilarious#lol#relatable#gay panic#im bi#im panicking#is she flirting#is she just being nice#why did she reach out#im so confused#lgbt#am i that bad at reading signals#bad at reading signals#bi panic#i haven't talked to this girl in nearly seven years#and she reached out randomly#what do i do#please advise#bi#bisexual#lgbtq#lgbtqia
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What I rly need to do is write up a thing abt this excerpt I read in one of the novels …. Ah it was so good I was filled with such emptiness and dread and suicidal ideation as soon as I read it … i have a final to take later (and get I am awake at nearly 4am) so after I get home from that maybe I will…
#i don’t want to like project my hcs too much#but it resonates so strongly with bpd i feel sick#one day maybe I’ll write up a thing going thru each bpd diagnostic criteria and use the novel to show examples of each…#although for some of them i might be reaching a little#fwiw I think that the dsm criteria leaves out a lot of big symptoms#er i guess just very particular ways that bpd manifests as compared to other mental illnesses#but i also project a little bit onto him and I’ve been doing it over the years so much I don’t know where to draw those lines anymore 😓#I just know there was a big post on here years ago that made me first think of it#but iirc the op ended up being a bitch abt other izaya cluster b headcanons sooo im making a post myself#ppl don’t know how to behave when it comes to pds… sad!#me personally I think izaya gets passed around like a blunt between all the cluster bs except hpd#but I only have ‘expertise’ in one of them so I only consider myself certified to talk abt bpd izaya#at any rate. it’s nearly 4 I can’t stop thinking about izaya I need to sleep goodbjghf
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#pillars of eternity spoilers#i reached the endgame of poe a few days ago#and i *think* I've reached the big twist everyone talks about and like#the twist itself is cool bc it fits this world#but as an irl religious person I am so exhausted by the rhetoric surrounding it being present in nearly every game I play recently#why even create your world with [REDACTED] if they're not even gonna be [REDACTED] anyway#it was the same with DAI and I didn't like it then either#and like I'm kinda disappointed with myself I've been really enjoying myself and made it all the way to the endgame#but now I can't bring myself to finish it#not bc it's bad but bc it makes me uncomfy#and that makes me feel like a weenie#but yeah it's not even necessarily poe's fault#bc on it's own I feel like it's fine but the frequency of it with other games is just like. played out. for me.#anyway keeping this vent in a tag post bc I'm probably just being Dramatic#marie speaks
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ive been a little upset about it all night so i need to write out all the things that happened at work today and are bugging me so i can TRY to get it out of my head and actually RELAX bc i just keep pacing in circles around it instead of just accepting it and moving on
#for context i was working frying chicken today. ok so i arrive and literally all the chicken out expires within ten minutes of each other#meanwhile to remake everything takes about an hour 20#tried my best to get everything out and replaced and make sure i have enough of everything and then take my break bc with chicken there are#few narrow windows to take your break in you have very little control over when it is#get back and while im getting ready for my next fry one of the assistant leaders comes back and passive aggressively asks 'everything ok?'#and when i say yeah shes starts saying how shes 'just checking' because apparently i didnt have enough chicken out for her liking and went#on about how we're in a chicken drive (I KNOW. I WORK CHICKEN SHE NEVER HAS.)#etc etc. i just say ok and she leaves#like 20 minutes later she comes fucking back to rag on me again about how i need to choose my break times better and i need to have more#chicken out there as back up (extremely difficult bc there is literally only so much room in the fryers. the batches i usually make already#nearly completely fill them up) blah blah and then when i try to explain how i WAS making pretty big batches people are just snatching them#up fast she keeps trying to walk out the door right away and keeps stopping and looking over her shoulder to just stare at me while i try t#finish my sentence#and she just. doesnt say anything in response when i do finish she just leaves#so clearly she didnt want a conversation she just wanted to rag on me#then later for cleanup the timing of everything just kept lining up inconveniently so i kept having to get in and out of raw cleaning gear#and slowing myself down and i end up having to stay almost 15 minutes late to finish cleaning#during cleaning i have to go grab a key to the back door to take out my trash and this one coworker i have was standing in the way of the#door. i say excuse me and she just stares at me and goes huh?#and i say i need a key and she barely moves out of the way without responding and she has a look like im bothering her#why are you acting like im being douchey. i just need a key. thats something she does a lot she acts like im inconveniencing her by asking#basic favors . ive stopped asking her to help me open the back door (sometimes needed if i also have raw garbage to take out and therefore#cant touch the key myself) for some reason she takes it upon herself to almost completely close the door after i walk out so when i come#back i have to awkwardly use my foot to reach around and pull the door open#ive asked her before not to do it and she just ignored me#GRAH GRAH. and then like i said in my last rb i realized while i was drivign home i forgot to wash a damn pan#im mostly worried about it because ive forgotten a couple times in the past too . in my defense its a pan i personally dont use but it just#gets left behind from first shift sometimes and then second shifters end up having to make sure its clean#im just irritateddd and im mad im worried about it all. its all little things piling up on each other#LOL I WROTE A LOT MORE BUT THE REST GOT CUT OUT IG I HIT A TAG LIMIT. tumblr voice ok dude quit your bitching !!
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Gene’s missing most of his memories from his life before the nether because his solution to feeling upset is to just, erase whatever’s making him feel that way about the nether. He can’t remember his mom’s face or her name, or the little street cat he used to sneak food to whenever he went on patrol, or how happy he was playing with Dante when they were little. He can’t remember how nice it felt to sit in the rain or what it was like laying in the grass to watch the stars, or how Dante would always come sleep in his room during storms and he’d pretend the thunder didn’t scare him too.
AUGH im gonna start . cryinf
#❄.txt#ask box#he just wants to go home and be normal. but he cant#so he tries to get rid of everythng that makes him homesick#erasing everything about himself until he can barely remember his own name#just to have the illusion of everything being fine#with my own hc that he cant really erase memories all he can do is hide them very very deep so that theyre nearly impossible to find#he keeps remembering bits and pieces and trying to shove them down and forget again#because it hurts to remember everything hes lost because he cant travel back in time and go back#when he finally stops erasing his memories its like theres an empty space where his past should be#like his memories are a word on the tip of his tongue#just out of reach but he can feel that theyre there#im not crying u are#since u mentioned that he befriended a stray cat that he used to feed#now imagine gene and the cat but the end of the odyssey where odysseus comes home and he sees his dog again and its really heartwarming#and then the dog fucking Dies (and i begin crying)#ur welcome for the pain i have caused ❤
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wary of ever posting anything ever again on Instagram lest I get reached out to by friends who ask where I've been
#it has happened to me every time#I start to crawl out of my hole and get spooked by someone reaching out#I do small talk and then they try to get me to hang out but I'm not nearly ready enough to hang out#i give an inch and they take a mile#and ik it's not on purpose#like they're just being nice and showing they care#but it's so overwhelming#I just wanted to say hi I didn't want to do all that#ikik I'm the most annoying person in existence because I am so sensitive#but i need to be like socialized slowly like a stray kitten or something
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Why! is everyone and their sibling! getting married!
#i know I'm 25 and I've reached that phase of life#and the weddings i was invited to this year were for my much older cousin and my friend who's ~4 years older#but man#people are out here getting married and they've known each other less time than I've been with my partner#meanwhile I'm out here trying to make sure my relationship uh continues and we're long distance without a solid end date for that#we've spent 3.5/nearly 4 years long distance#and I'm tired i just want to come home to him every day or just see him on a random Wednesday night#sorry to anyone seeing this i just feel old and tired of everything i want being out of reach
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