#being in love brings out the worst in me
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real photo i swear
#actually bpd#actually mentally ill#bpd fp#bpd shitposting#actually borderline#bpd favorite person#bpd mood#bpd problems#bpd#bpd vent#obsessive#tw obsessive love#obsessivelovedisorder#obsessive yandere#being in love brings out the worst in me#it feels like i’m being eaten by hatred and malice#fro anyone he interacts with :/#bpd memes
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Have you heard of the "Crowley is Malleus' dad" theory going around? Where Prince Levan (or whatever his name is) didn't actually die and just went out to get some milk and is now known as Dire Crowley, the silly man? The implications of that theory is absolutely hilarious when you think about it
hold on, we can figure this out, we just need LISTS
PROS THAT CROWLEY IS SECRETLY REVAAN/LEVAN/LAVERNE/WHATEVER:
unspecified fae of some kind, with similar coloring to Mal
the animal masks are apparently a Briar Valley thing
has some kind of big blackmailable secret that was alluded to in episode 4, and then as far as I know never brought up again
(unless this was just Azul bullshitting, which is extremely possible)
based on Diablo, which...maybe means something?
has canonically worn Dad Shorts
CONS:
(gestures to Crowley's entire personality)
NO LISTEN Revaan was the guy they sent off on diplomatic missions and to take care of delicate political situations, and...look, I love this dweeb, but would you trust Crowley to be in charge of negotiating your war treaties
despite my brain insisting on reading his name as "Raven", Revaan's title does imply that he was also a dragon (or super into longan berries, I'm not ruling that out)
currently unclear why Lilia "my closest friend Revaan...he is no longer with us...I used to make fun of him for being kind of a priss about eating jerky..." Vanrouge has somehow not noticed or said anything
Malleus' Aloof Anime ~Aristocrat~ vibe had to come from somewhere, and by all accounts it was NOT his mom's side of the family
???:
turns into a bird in the opening, I don't know if that means anything but it's kinda cool, I guess
all that aside, if Malleus and Yuu are any indication, then the Draconias have...questionable taste in their social choices. so anything is possible!
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#disclaimer that this is half joke and half speculation so like. please take it in good spirits and don't yell at me#right now i'm leaning away from crowley being revaan because i think the evidence is currently circumstantial at best#but who knows what the future will bring!#man. whenever i consciously remember that crowley is diablo it also reminds me#that his name is supposed to be pronounced like dear and not like the word dire#which always fucks me up a little bit. this is the worst thing about him bar none.#damnit crowley#anyway every time a new part comes out i rewatch the opening just in case there turns out to be any more foreshadowing#(there never is)#(but that ONE really quick bit where you can see overblot azul means i always have to look)#which is to say i have been carefully reanalyzing all the crowley bits and i have reached the conclusion#that i still have no idea what is going on with him#he may be the world's biggest mastermind or the world's biggest idiot and these are not mutually exclusive#(this is a strictly pro-crowley post btw)#(i'm allowed to make fun of him because i love him dire-ly)
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peaky blinders — 5x03 'strategy' created by steven knight
#the ep titled strategy when all i see is sapphics (to me!!!)#anyway linda's pivotal storyline let's gooooo#love the concept of linda being a good christian girl who saw the good in the least stable shelby member#and tried to bring out the best in him#only for him to be the one who brought out the worst in her#delicious stuff...#peaky blinders#linda shelby#kate phillips#lizzie stark#lizzie shelby#steven knight#period drama#tv shows#pb text post
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the idea that sukuna isn’t used to being chosen. can’t even conceive in the fucking slightest that it could be a thing. he’s gonna laugh at the mere concept of it like it’s the funniest joke on earth. he was an unwanted, ill fated child, the first thing he’d learned was how it feels to be shunned instead of loved. sure he’s used to being worshipped, respected, sometimes even admired and he knows it’s mostly out of fear, occasionally out of jealousy, maybe also out of idealization at times. but who would deliberately choose to have him by his side? who would choose such a monster, so cursed both in sight and in soul when they could choose anyone in the world?
so when yuuji, who could pick any regular, well adjusted person he meets in life, says he wants him, that he stays with him because he wants to and would look for him again and again in every lifetime because he likes, loves sukuna as he is, sukuna breaks down. because yuuji isn’t laughing, or making fun of him. yuuji means it. and he’s considerate enough to not say anything and just hold sukuna as his shoulders shake with every sob, pressing a kiss and then another and then another along his black markings until he believes it too, at least a little.
#sukuita after seeing each other at their worst: hey gorjus are you free tonight#like it wasn’t even that deep before sukuna was genuinely like what the hell is “being loved” people are a nuisance uraume cooks me some#humans and i’m content like i’m chilling i don’t need anything else#but then someone loves you when you forgot what it’s like or maybe you never knew in the first place and it feels like you needed it your#whole life and didn’t know it. something something yuuji bringing out the human in sukuna (because it’s there)#sukuita#my post
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I've been sick so my brainrot produced more brainrot <3
this is so stupid
#honkai star rail#hsr#sampo#aha#hsr aeons#I'm so sick and tired of being sick#like my immune system needs to become girlboss why has she been girlfailure for so long#i love sampo he like brings the worst out of me
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it IS nice, as someone who's a lot more used to 'what if I meet my internet friends irl and they don't like me' type anxiety, to have 'what if I meet my friend's internet friend and I don't like him' anxiety once in awhile instead
#aside from the couple of close friends she brought with her initially when she started dating her now husband#every time she's ever been like 'ohh I want to bring [new friend] into this friend group you guys will LOVE them'#they've been AT BEST just such a wildly different flavor of person from the rest of us that the vibes are almost entirely incompatible#and at worst they are that *and also* actually insufferable#'[friend from work] is a weird dork EXACTLY the same as the rest of us and will fit in SO WELL at board game night'#<- my beloved friend being so wildly incorrect it's actually a little astonishing#I have to assume she's falling into a transitive property fallacy#you vibe with work friend and you vibe with us so naturally those vibes must be exactly the same and inherently compatible#oh babe. that is not true :')#ANYWAY she's got a friend staying this weekend who she met through art streaming on twitch#so like-- I do actually know this one already a little bit#but I'd put it at mmm.... 50/50 that I wanna hang out with him in real life lol. which is great odds considering the track record!#but on the other hand more of a bummer if it does end up being '...ah. no thanks.' aaah#I like him fine right now! it would be a shame if he turns out to be insufferable :')#about me#irl frens
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the scene where carmy, stressed and at his worst, holds out his cut hand and says "blood! see! good! good! are you all happy now!" to the beef when no one is listening to him or letting him have his way is just. so...so donna. he is his mother's son unfortunately
#the bear#thinking a lot abt everything that's wrong with him i wanna make a list.#also on that note it's actually to me a sign of great love and sacrifice that richie had held back that comment for so long#i'm not being pithy i'm actually like. a lot of carmy's worst traits are also donna's#and i think richie who is very keen on things actually def picks up on that#and the only reason he doesn't bring it up sooner is probably the knowledge that it would wreck him#and he only brings it up in s2 from a place of desperation--nothing else is working#fixing the beef didn't also fix carmen#it's the reality check he probably never felt secure enough to give mikey#bc on THAT note i think richie's failure with mikey is his own insecurity; his fear of being kicked out or not belonging#he doesn't want to disagree with mikey and risk that closeness#and ultimately that anxiety hurts them both
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My experience with the opm fandom in a nutshell... Or.. Well, the bad part of it. The straight, horny cis men that just have to ruin everything.
#seriously tho wthy the fu k do they have to ruin everything...#im so so so fucking tired#so done...#One and Murata must be so disappointed...#fuck everything#i love LOVE one punch man#i absolutely love the webcomic#i love the manga the anime the soundtrack#i love it with every ounce of my being#.... but then there's the fandom.. especially the subreddit and discord...#istg they bring out the absolute worst in me#this is also like.. to explain why Im gonna distance myself from the fandom?#I still want to see the wonderful fanart and the memes and just.. i still wanna be a part of the good part of the fandom..
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Wanting more homoeroticism in the tension between the show’s leads as the narrative introduces greater intimacy and higher stakes between them, especially in a landscape that lacks queer representation who isn’t a villain or dies within one or two episodes, but also recognizing that core values/motivation for these characters lie in their relationships with one of two major female characters in an on screen sausage fest where the only other woman is a morally reprehensible femme fatale and erasing and/or vilifying female leads in favor of conventionally attractive males is a common practice observed in fandoms that’s rooted in misogyny and justified under the guise of rejecting heteronormativity, thinly veiled double standards, or claiming the woman is simply not interesting enough and not wanting to bolster that mindset
#the worst of evil#you know who’s not interesting enough? haeryeon!! bibi’s acting the hell out of her and slaying while doing it#but idk anything besides she’s willing to subvert her dad for dick and values money over everything else#and also she’s hot which is great for me!! but also the male gaze#and I also get it - we don’t know much about euijeong in her limited screen time besides her relationships to junmo/kicheol#but she is given so many traits that are silently conveyed like compassion and bravery and sacrifice#she brought a fucking gun to her date with kicheol like the conflicts and motivations here are SO JUICY#her exasperation guilt and despair with the investigation; esp after listening to the voicemails#what’s the self respecting thing to do; do I still love my husband if he loses himself; can I continue a game I never wanted to play#at the cost of my life or my family’s life?#even though a lot of her choices are for her marriage she’s using whatever agency she has in her own terms#kicheol works to be an honest man and make a difference partly bc of her#not trying to place the burden of fixing men on her but ignoring her impact in the boys’ lives is wild#ship whoever you want hate whoever you want but don’t deride a woman just cuz ‘she’s in the way’ ya know#all this being said; kicheol bringing junmo home after he RAMPAGED seemingly on his behalf - literally who else is doing it like them#the yearning all around - I get it now; we need gangster mob!throuple to get any shit done around here (and for all 3 to stay alive 🫣🙏)#but the reality next week is gonna be so so bitter
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in general i think im really tired of kirby antagonists that are like “ohhhh this is the main antagonist- actually they’re just being possessed and they’re not actually responsible for their actions at all”
#…. i think thats why fanon dedede has started to annoy me sm sorryyyyyyyy#but really its just annoying seeing people get hostile towards any interpretation of dedede thats not kirbys bestie or dad#and that he was only ever antagonistic because he was possessed#like no he sucked before and he slowly improved and helped kirby of his own accord later! theres a character arc!#and hes a rival to kirby and will fight him but he’ll fight for the greater good too#leongar was eh to me because i saw his deal coming from a mile away. i knew he was gonna be the decoy antagonist as soon as he was onscreen#i knew it was gonna be a corruption scenario again so i just didnt bother getting attached because i already knew his full arc#i think hyness is the one who truly irritates me the most though because hes the most disrespectful one and it weakens the whole game for me#like. i get what they were doing. the friend hearts purify everyone and bring out the best in everyone#and i dont really care for stuff thats like ‘these are Fundamentally Bad people and these are Fundamentally Good people’’#but god damn it you dont even play as the stupid motherfucker. cant he be the ONE example of someone you cant chuck a heart at?#we already get something satisfying in the ‘’we can save the worst people’’ department with the void battle#why cant kirby just offer the heart to hyness only for hyness to bitterly reject it and fly off#i wouldnt be this irritated if hyness wasnt portrayed as a literal abuser?? someone who takes advantage of other peoples love for him?#his boss fight literally reflects this with how he forcibly controls the mage sisters and uses their bodies as weapons and forces them into#friend attack combos against their will. he is someone using the jamba hearts power to use the people around him#it wouldve been so potent and harrowing to leave his character on that note. but nah he was also corrupted or whatever and hes Fundamentally#Good. dont think about it!#hes also way too similar to haltmann again which just rubs salt in the wound for me. except this time he doesnt die horribly. yay.#like goddamn at least susie wasnt literally being abused by haltmann. she was there of her own accord and had her own motives#like i dont find it tragic when zan is desperately trying to save hyness and bring him back or whatever. i think she should get the fuck out#i find it tragic for HER and not in the way the game intended#im aware im talking about a game for 5 year olds but still. if they were gonna try to tackle heavy shit then they should commit#or at least play it like the dark matter trilogy when the stories werent as insane#echoed voice
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✨ TODAY IS THE FIVE YEAR ANNIVERSARY OF ME RPING YUMENO ! ✨
Granted, I didn't have anything in particular planned nor did I have like ANY time today but I wanted to thank everyone that's supported me; both new followers and old ! And then there's the really old followers that have been around for years ( the ppl that remember my og url are the real ones LOL ). Here's to having a lot more fun on this platform together ! 🎉💕
#// this literally fell on the worst time#// with both my parents being off and messing with me for various things for over a week#// BUT IT'S ALMOST OVER..... ALMOST...#// but no i really appreciate everyone here and i love every one of u#╰ (✪∀<) ~ *:・゚✧ To bring out all the ghosts to light. ◜☆◞ OOC.
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oh yeah. the reason why i decided to reread tbhk (and thus it was able to hit me like a truck this time around) was actually not bc of mitsukou going canon but actually bc i maybe accidentally started a tbhk book club w my kids at work and wanted to check the contents of it justttt in case before i put the books in their hands
#tl;dr i have this one 4th grade boy who's a total weeb and knows that i'm the only one in this town who's more into japanese media than him#so he pesters me abt it every time he sees me. and the thing abt this kid is that he gets bored easily and if he does he turns into a#complete menace. now a couple weeks ago. he shows up at the program w one piece volume one and spends the entire time he's there peacefully#reading and not causing any problems on purpose. my coworker owen (the one who climbed onto the roof) and i were shocked and in awe of how#peaceful he was being and came to the conclusion that he NEEDS to have a manga volume in his hands at all times. few minutes later.#he finishes reading and isn't bored yet so he decides to go talk to me abt manga. specifically he starts pestering me abt what shonen i've#read despite the fact that i am a shoujo reader and told him that. but he knows i've read kuroshitsuji bc he previously asked me abt what#the worst anime i've ever watched is and i will never not take an excuse to drag the adaptation. and he figures that if i've read kuro i've#probably read more. and so i mention tbhk and he asks more abt it bc of the name involving toilets and him being a 4th grade boy so i give#brief overview and he wants to read it. and i come up with a scheme to make him peaceful AND to give him something to talk to me abt which#isn't 'i know you've read more shonen manga' 'let me gacha on your phone' or 'i saw an ad for rent a gf. thought it was lame. and now want#you to tell me how it sucks bc i assume you know everything abt every animanga ever' (<does unfortunately know too much abt rent a gf bc i'#a bit of a nosy bastard and watched the mother's basement video). so i offered to bring it in bc i own physicals of the whole series and of#as previously mentioned. gave it a quick reread in advance just in case. and got hit by it. hard. i love you tbhk almost as much as i love#when ppl get into things through me. honestly i think getting to live vicariously through him might be one of the main reasons it got me#this time around and not as much the first time (still loved it the first time though). flash forward a little while. one of the 3rd grade#girls is like. really into reading. and also macabre things. like ghosts. and she has two books from the school library. and has had the#same two books from the school library for over a week. she reads quickly and finished them both in under a day and is now bored out of her#mind rereading them. she asks to read the books i've been letting the other kid read. now there are two of them#romeo.txt
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;~; (tags vent)
#i feel so lonely and i dont know how to fix it#im trying to engage with people. im trying ot take space. im trying but nothing is helping#and like im hormonal so i wanna cry about it today#and like this loneliness isnt for one reason only#there's no One Thing#but so so many things making me feel like i cant connect#and even wiht making progress and even with coping and even with reminidng myself its okay to just feel bad sometimes like#i want company. i dont want online company i want irl company. i want friends. and im so miserable about the fact that i struggle to#make irl friends - not bc im not a good friend!! honestly tehre's been plenty of opportunities for me to make friends is the worst part#between work; disabilities; energy; and like interests/things to talk about its really hard to make friends (and tbh the first three-#really are the biggest drains). and i love my online friends i do i jsut. miss them all so much when i talk too much and then it hurts more#and i lost a friend group recently so im feelng really out of place#nearly everyday for the last idk. 5 months i had a group of people going “hey. love you” (even if they didnt say it verbatim daily) and lik#im so sad! and the feelings are coming out today ig cause i havenothing to do at work so im just. here#but yeah - ik part of this grief im experiencing is YET AGAIN experiencing change and loss re:friendships bc of things largely out of my#control /: and every time this happens it just brings up every single wound#im talking with my therapist about it too i just. wish friends were more permanent in my life yk?#or at least that i had friends irl still /: but all my deepest connections are all So far away#and it hurts so much to miss ppl rn im just. isolating myself#but i dont awnt to TALK. i dont want to TEXT. i dont want to hang out on a vc. i awnt to be held and loved and just talked to about anythin#other than the stresses in peoples lives. i want people to infodump to me w/o me having to Beg or Engage Correctly#i want people to tell me about themselves. jsut fucking lore dump in my inbox. its not dumping. i dont care about trauma dumping. if you do#cw i guess i jsut. im so tired. im tired of the “haiiiiii love you!!!!!” i have to do over the keyboard to have social connections#im tired of being so disabled i cant make friends bc no one wants to be friends w/ me irl and all the reasons (“ur a flake” “u cancel plans#“u never want to go out” “u never have energy” “why do you disappear when you need to recharge it makes me feel bad?” etc etc etc) all#relate to me being disabled and like.i feel like the problem. my existence is a problem. and the worst part is all iwant to do is just.#go run errands with someone. do important tasks &get a little treat to celebrate after. go to the doctor. the hospital. wherever im allowed#i want ot be a PERSON#): i jsut miss my friends#and liek im going to a thing later this month to try and make friends irl even if its just exercise friends
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naturally i’m gonna be very upset at 6:09 am after an all-nighter over my brother and his actions
#personal#not the middle one we’re okay rn and talking again and he helped me get with my new job#even tho we haven’t spoken about the door and im not supposed to know he paid for it#so good but watch out#the eldest one i’m like hey i was gonna forgive ghosting me or flaking on plans you made with me for our dad#or not communicating that you already got everything done with said dad and all i really knew was my dad asking asking asking for his#eldest son and struggling for an answer for him#and even like not checking on me at all after i got kicked out and bringing a girl back and asking me to pretend to be asleep#god i regret not sleeping in a rest stop like planned that was so much worse#and also you and other brother just ignoring me begging for help telling you i got back into my ed and honestly going through the worst#time of my life also weed dependent to just cope and also my job sucked. minor but still#but again was ready to let it go bc you were so obviously in pain at the funeral i couldn’t be mad at that#but like why. after i offered to clean up after ur dogs did you um. ask me to do it again#then cussed me out after i asked that you don’t ask on the dot of when my shifts end#and then after mom told me i was selfish while struggling with a full time job and taking care of my dying father and struggling with that#and i was just asking what ur living situation was bc i felt like. hm. being told i’m awful for struggling during my dads death is a lot#instead of just saying no you go on a rant about how when we finally want to move in with you you’re doing something else and general#shit giving. instead of again. just saying no. or hell. checking on me.#so it’s like i’ll love you until every star gives out i can’t fucking look at you bc i’m so hurt#we haven’t talked since then and im not gonna hear from him till he asks what i want from christmas or he needs something#christ last time he checked on me was a segway to helping me going about the hoarder house as he loves calling it#i can’t believe i sent him photos of our dads writing saying i love you and his only question was is it still hoarder central#i was gonna type something mean i’m gonna lay down#i don’t want any gifts why would i want a gift. told him that i was hurt and didn’t want a gift my birthday and he responded and it’s gonna#and he’s didn’t respond*#be the same game during christmas#you brought a girl over on such an awful fucking night for me why would i want a gift#and it’s not like he hasn’t been there and doesn’t love me it’s just i’m hurt#and it’s not like he had all this space and my other brother and i never used it! i got kicked out and stayed a night!#other brother moved in with you! sorry circumstances led to me staying longer! just say no!
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Partners in crime!
Timon does the hating and Alcibiades does the murder
#i imagine timon being the opposite of socrates#S. tried to control Alcibiades into being fair and nice#but timon just reinforced his murderus tendencies#mm i love when people bring the worst out of each other /j#also timon is blushing so hard when al touches him#it's a fact now#source: trust me bro#oh i also can't stop myself from drawing flowers at Alcibiades' hair#it's an addiction
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i still stand by that nuzleaf wouldve been a better villain if they didnt go “oh its ok he was just possessed so he doesnt have as much responsibility for what he did”. cowards. he shouldve done the filicide on his own
#i love possession plotlines but i haaate when theyre done like this bc it often feels like a copout#i think a better interpretation is that dark matter was influencing his actions rather than outright controlling him#feeding into his grief and anger and dragging out his worst impulses and bringing him to new lows#making him act on thoughts he wouldnt have typically acted on#anyways i like him more as an adult but yeah this just weakens his character to me#they literally say at the end like ‘’oh he can hardly be blamed THAT much bc he was just being controlled’’#he can still get possessed like maybe right at the end dark matter completely takes over his body#make it a magolor situation. yeah he absolutely did all that shit but then he reaped what he sowed and it sucked#echoed voice#pmd posting
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