#being entirely harmless

[oca-rinn-a]

had a full on falling-apart of my brain at 4am, trying to muster the will and plan how to contain a roach (American),

so naturally as soon as i wake up i read the creature's full wikipedia page.

[eyydragons]

Hmm you know what I kinda want to see? something where one of the (ex) Robins get spelled into an animal, but it's not something like a cat or dog, but an actual Robin.

AND, first instincts of suddenly being small, fluffy and weighing about the same as a handful of teabags is to immediantly start avoiding the huge Dangers in bright-dark colours trying to catch you, at any costs.

Jason as Red Hood watching one of them getting turned into a round ball of feathers and utterly failing to catch the damn Birdy to make sure it doesn't get, like. eaten by a cat or something.

[moeblob]

Rice. From my plot that's literally just a game of chess. (he's a rook)

[yeah-thats-probably-it]

telling a joke on tumblr about class politics in p.g. wodehouse books is fun but watch out! if it gets over 1000 notes your joke is automatically exposed to people who have read ring for jeeves fewer than five times

[elias-magnusnt]

i have politely asked the fractals to leave but they keep reappearing and frankly it is quite bad considering the entire research department has vertigo now

- Jacob Moore (@goodwitchorasandwich)

Oh, bother. Um, I'll call pest control for you, hopefully they can take care of it? Please keep everyone from the windows, and let's hope this can be solved quickly. Don't let anyone go home, if they isolate themselves I'm afraid they might get targeted without us being able to get to them in time.

You did the right thing, it always pays to be polite, but the fractals are often possessed of a strong spirit of contradiction and they often end up doing whatever it is they want.

[yeonban]

ᵗʰᵉ 𝑫𝑼𝑺𝑻𝒀 𝑻𝑶𝒀𝑩𝑶𝑿.

@cinderlynx asked: what do you want most in the world ? / tobias !

Silence engulfs the room once the question rolls off Ash's tongue and Tobias glances over in equal inquisitive nature, as if to pry: what's brought this on? A teasing response would normally follow, but for once there is none; the typical jokes being replaced with a thoughtful hum. He knows very well what he wants, the issue is merely explaining it adequately enough to drill it through the dozen barriers Ash's subconscious has planted into his psyche. Turning his gaze away from the blonde and setting it on the nearest wall as if gazing somewhere far away— somewhere no longer reachable yet still acting as a vengeful ghost hovering over Tobias' present nonetheless, the brunette contemplates how to go about this.

Anyone with half an intact brain would be able to discern Tobias' avid distaste for boredom after spending a few minutes' worth of time near the mafioso, yet no soul bar his own is aware of why this revulsion has taken root, much less at what point in time it has first sprung into existence. He supposes that's a contextual clue he must fill in for Ash here, lest his friend underestimates the significance of his actual answer. ❛ Have you ever been locked in a dark, empty room for years, with nothing to do and no idea when you'll be let out? ❜ Tobias' tone is gentle, no different from the usual despite the unsettling query being uttered, and he spares little time for whatever puzzlement might next ensue. It's a rhetorical question anyway, and he expects no retort to it. ❛ I have. ❜ An equally calm affirmation, one that is entirely devoid of a normal person's negative emotions which are oft synchronous with it, and his nonchalance almost gives off the impression that he is speaking of someone else's life, someone completely unrelated, than of his own experiences.

The story isn't deemed important enough to even be continued after it finishes playing its introductory role, representing merely one out of the many similar memories from Tobias' recollection— no different to him than someone else's remembrance of their playground days. Whereas other children would play with one another on the swings or dig into the sand, Tobias' version of childhood games lies in the knives he managed to sneak into the room during the instances he was allowed out, and in the goreish practices he was allowed out for in the first place. Whether digging in the sand or in someone's guts, it made no difference to him at the time, and it certainly doesn't mean anything to him these days either. There is a clinical apathy towards the details of his own past that essentially rivals the indifference Tobias feels about everybody else's suffering, and it's this void of emptiness that further exacerbates his already irksome boredom.

If there is nothing to care about, his very life included, then what can hope to touch him enough as to warrant a lasting reaction? To bring forth an emotion he isn't accustomed to (happiness, excitement, glee) is a formidable feat in and of itself, rare as it might be without requiring his direct intervention, but to maintain that state of amusement... that has nearly been proven impossible several times over the years, if not for Tobias' resolute obstinacy continuing to date. He'll either have his way, or he'll die trying; that is what the teen is dead set on. ❛ I can do what I want now, but it turns out the boredom I've felt back then is every ounce as stubborn as I am. No matter what I do, where I go or who I meet up with, as soon as the novelty wears off, I become bored again. This really pisses me off, so what I want is to get rid of this pesky boredom for good. But that's still a pretty vague answer, isn't it? I'm not sure if it's even one hundred percent possible either. ❜ To annihilate it fully... he doubts this sort of goal is truly achievable. Boredom has become such a core trait of his, a haunting latching, that Tobias figures it shall always be present somewhere inside of him (at the back of his mind if not at the forefront of his soul, merely waiting for the opportune moment to once again rear its ravenous head).

It's a war fought on the losing side, and the years spent jumping from one interest to another have only managed to stall his inconvenient yet eventual defeat. This loss, loathe as he is to admit it, is something Tobias is keenly aware of. However, should he twist the meaning of "getting rid of his boredom for good" into simply chucking it out of the way by means of attaining perpetual amusement... then, even with it still glued to his being, wouldn't he at least ensure that this never-ending struggle shall transform into a permanent stalemate (a much more agreeable thing) than have it one day end in his promised defeat? This idea has rarely been debated until recently, splendid conceptually yet impossible in practice, but startlingly enough this once unworkable option has begun to slowly take shape as of late, displaying its feasibility with none other than the teen currently sitting next to him.

With Ash, it should be possible for his boredom to become a thing of the past, he knows this to be true (he hopes it to be true; because if it isn't achievable with Ash, then it most certainly will never be with anyone). ❛ Right now I feel pretty close to achieving it, though. With you around I'm always having fun, I look forward to hanging out together every day, and I even feel excited about being alive for once— plus, unlike the other people I've met, you don't even have to try to keep me entertained. It comes naturally to you, doesn't it? ❜ Which, though it may not seem particularly important on the surface, guarantees that even without Tobias' consistent efforts (which oh, what a vast part of his days goes into the scheming required to secure him at least some semblance of fun around the boring people who always surround him), he would never have to concern himself with the possibility of his boredom returning ever again. A weight lifted off his shoulders, if he's to describe this sort of sentiment as he's often heard other people express it.

With that, Tobias turns to face his friend once more, eyes seeking Ash's while the rest of his body remains unmoving in its newly shifted position. Initiating touch while dropping what is almost certainly classified as an informational bomb on the blonde isn't bound to do well; even less so when Ash is probably still experiencing some sort of emotion or another after hearing a sad (is it?) tidbit about his childhood (which Tobias figures he is likely to be; because his emotive friend tends to feel something about everything, whether he's conscious of these sentiments or subconsciously inhibiting them)— therefore, it's best to take it one step at a time, with words coming first, then actions following later once his proclamations have been properly ingested and understood. He's sure plenty of people have previously told the blonde something of a similar ilk after all, most with less than ideal intents, so what matters most for Tobias' declaration is to expunge Ash's apprehension about what his words might mean before it even has a chance to form. Careful with the phrasing. Overexplain everything so he won't overthink your words into what he might be used to hearing. ❛ So, to be more specific for Your Highness' sake, what I want most in the world is you, Ash. ❜ Except the mafioso doesn't stop there; leaving no room for misunderstandings by immediately carrying on with the extrapolated meaning behind his wish. Although Tobias is plenty similar to the men in Ash's nightmares on other fronts, this aspect is not one they share any similarities in. Where, pray tell, is the fun in controlling someone, when it's their unshackled self that makes them worthwhile? If Ash were to bend to his will, or to anyone's for that matter, Tobias is rather certain his interest in the other would dwindle, if not plummet entirely.

In the brunette's eyes, Ash is worth everything because he is Ash rather than because he is the personification of someone's physical or material desires, as is clearly the case for the majority of the people Tobias has met around Ash thus far— and he hasn't even been around this city for that long. ❛ If you're with me, and continue to focus your attention on me like you've been doing... I couldn't care less about anything else. I don't want you to do anything out of the ordinary— just be as you are, keep giving me your undivided attention, and don't leave me. Keep to these few little requests of mine, and I'll turn the whole world upside down to guarantee your happiness. ❜ It's not the first time he's promised the gang leader one thing or another, the majority of which might sound absurdly impractical in any sane person's mind, but this is as good a moment as any to let the gang leader know what a vast promise this truly is, and that Tobias intends to uphold it nevertheless, crazy as its contents might seem. Fleetingly, Tobias also wonders if staring at Ash from this angle, from their equal positions on the couch, may become a stressor with this sort of answer suddenly sprung on him. There is no reason for the blonde to fear him (he's made sure of that all this time, for fuck's sake) but little does a voice of reason matter in alleviating one's worries if the experience of repeated abuse insists on likening the mafioso to all of those who declared they want Ash before he did. He'd rather that not happen here, not if he can avoid it.

He ponders on the thought for a brief second, before rising from the couch— not to hover assertively over the blonde as he imagines many might in his stead, but to kneel down in front of Ash's side of the couch while looking up at the other teen in a clear display of amicable submission; relaxing his muscles as to appear truly as harmless as can be. Now even if Ash's instincts are on alert, the knowledge that from their current positions Ash has the evident advantage in every sense should help ease all of the teen's tension enough to hopefully place his trust in the safety the brunette has worked so hard to become associated with. With that potential complication out of the way, Tobias' speech picks up from where it left off, and the older teen intentionally phrases his subsequent inquiry as a request rather than as a demand; as something which Ash has control over rather than as something imposed upon him. ❛ I know you're a real popular guy and all, but pick me over everyone else vying for your interest, okay? I promise you won't regret it. ❜ And if this will make Ash agree to his terms more readily— why the hell not, sure; he can beg and try to look pitiable. ❛ Please. ❜

[hadesknockedupintheunderworld]

Hey, I don't normally make my own posts about this, but.

Do not argue with an anti on their own terms.

Don't get me wrong, I get it. You see the hypocrisy. You see the way they take aim at your favorite ships or characters or tropes while enjoying something similar. And you think "if I can point out to them just how hypocritical and idiotic they look right now, everyone will see our argument, they'll see that the anti is wrong and a hypocrite, and then maybe more people will stop harassing the people who like my thing. Maybe the anti will see the light and stop being a hypocrite."

But it will not work. It will not work.

There is an extremely high chance one of two things will occur:

They will double down on their argument, and ignore what you've said. (Ex. They might say "This relationship has an age gap. That's p3dophi1ia. That's dangerous." And you might say "well you ship something with the same age gap. Is it not p3dophi1ia and dangerous when you do it?" And they will just double down and say "This ship is dangerous. The shippers are grasping at straws to make their p3d0 ship normal.")

They will agree with you, but in the worst way possible. (Ex. Someone says "Ew your ship are basically siblings because they're childhood friends and grew up together. 1nc3st apologist." And you might respond "And yet we allow our most popular ship in this fandom to be popular? They grew up together as childhood friends and were inseparable. Why is that not inc3st?" because you think they'll gain a sense of perspective here. But then that person responds "People who ship that popular ship are freaks too then." Maybe they believed that before the convo or maybe they didn't, but the point now is that (while not your intention or fault by any means) some people have gone on to harass shippers of a ship that aren't doing anything wrong. What you think will bring clarity ends up raising tensions between shippers instead)

Do not meet them where they're at on their preconceived notions. You will not make them believe that they are wrong or hypocrites. Do not concede to their heavy assertions of abuse, p3dophi1ia, 1nc3st, etc levied against the thing you like for the sake of arguing that they are a hypocrite, or with intent to make them feel dumb for inadvertently labeling 80% of a fandom with said labels. They will not "see the light". The best thing you can do, if you have to say anything, is double down with "I'm not hurting anyone and it's fiction. I can do whatever I want" or "I don't give a shit what harmless things people like as long as it's tagged and I can filter out what I dislike" (especially if this is your stance). Then block and move on.

Antis, like trolls, thrive on engagement. They want you to argue so they can continue to point at you or lie about you or make you look bad.

It is in your best interest to pick your battles, and to try to sus out the difference between a friendly argument or standing up for yourself versus feeding the trolls. You won't make the right choice every time, all of us are human after all, but I promise you that ignoring and blocking bad faith actors, deleting their hate anons, etc, is not the coward's way out. Sometimes you don't need to fight. Sometimes keeping yourself from platforming bad faith actors and giving them nothing to go on will do the job (because there are more antis that are just small blogs with little power to do anything than you think, the kinds of people whose inflammatory posts will die if no one touches them).

Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

[claquedick]

Hating on The Substance is becoming my new personality trait

[constantvariations]

Remembering how someone once brushed off the criticism of v5 being mostly in a single room by saying "most sitcoms take place in a single room!" as if Remnant isn't an entirely new world with unique landscapes and cultures that should be explored

[adaine-party-wizard]

i forgot that it’s march break. my commute will now be filled with teenagers wanting to take a day to go to the city. please dear god or whoever is listening let them be quiet and polite, or at least if they’re getting into shenanigans let it be entertaining

[ptolemia]

“Love itself is revolutionary and if you can’t see that then you should replay the game” oh yeah it’s pretty blatant and obvious I mean a fucking blind mole could see it. There’s a difference between playing it and understanding the message and then playing it through a shipping lense in order to make up shit that never happened so you could make mid fics + art while also ignoring the character’s actual traits.

Some people just like to frollick through media cuz the characters are hot and they need some masturbation material.

… yeah? Life is short I hope everybody who wants to frollick and jack off has the opportunity to do both as often as possible.

[badboysupr]

“ fellow demigod !”

@luposcainus || 🫡 my fellow!!

Oh. Oh, okay! Is this how we're greeting each other, now?

Leo takes it in stride—which he's insanely good at doing, he'll have you know—and when the fellow demigod calls out their shared freakishness, he's readily saluting. Well, it's more like a mix of salute and finger-gun: a hand to his forehead before snapping into the gesture of camaraderie. (He figured it worked well enough. The Camp Jupiter folks had a weird thing for formality—like it really did something for them, if you catch his drift—so maybe the salute would save him from getting tossed into the river... or whatever they did to impudent children.)

“Hey there, demi-dude!” Oh, gods—demi-dude? He'd workshop that one. “You're looking”—Leo opened his hands out to him, gesturing widely while he considered the right words here—“alive. Good for you! What can ol' Leo do you for?”

[cryptosexologist]

my sympathy for vegans getting a flood of “DEBATE MEEEE” comments versus my frustration that their explanations and reasoning for vegan-ness still being fucking shit

[demetriandelibinaryboyfriends]

Me when the Demetri fandom sings a whole big song and dance about how he deserved to "crash out" and then flips tf out when he actually behaves like a flawed and imperfect individual and maybe even--dare I say it--causes some problems on purpose

i actually find it really fascinating that there seems to be a subset of people who watch television shows and seemingly can't handle an ounce of conflict or narrative tension or flawed people handling difficult situations imperfectly. how do you guys live like this