#being aro

[opossums-in-a-trenchcoat]

Why do action movies need romance?? Is running from/fighting/solving the problem not enough???

[wojtekaneko]

well that was awkward

[sunbloomdew]

do you ever see a person and you are overcome with incredible fondness? and you just think "oh." but not in a romantic or sexual way you are just filled with warmth and it makes you happy, it just does. and you think "i'm so happy you exist. i'm happy you are somewhere out there in the world, doing your thing". it's love but also not entirely

like people are lovely and i feel it in my entire chest like a burning candle that smells like roses and a sunny day

[neurovarious]

[stiffyck]

Good luck during pride month to all the aroaces who are gonna be blasted with "love is love" everywhere

Edit:

This post includes aplatonic people, loveless aros and any other people who fall anywhere on the aro and ace spectrum.

Stop saying "but theres platonic love and familial love-"

[arofutures]

As someone nonpartnering, I'm always dancing on the razor's edge of relating to and having no patience for "forever alone" sentiments from alloro single people.

Because on the one hand, to be perfectly honest, yes, I am lonely! And while there's numerous factors involved in that, my being single is one of them. It's hard not to feel isolated as a single adult and I'm very cognizant of my friends, coworkers, family members etc... who have this whole category of social life that I do not.

However. While if someone individually happens to want a partner, that's fine and well and good, but 'everyone must partner off' cannot continue to be the broader social model. If your mentality is 'I'll get a romantic partner and that'll be that', then you're contributing to the problem -- for both yourself and everyone else.

Community has to be the real focus. When I think about combatting loneliness, I think about universal basic income and affordable housing, walkable neighbourhoods and robust public transit, free community events (both in-person and online), access to high-quality affordable healthcare, access to public restrooms, etc...

Even if we woke up tomorrow to find sudden cultural acceptance of permanent singlehood as an option, I and many other people would still be lonely! We need to support social infrastructure outside of romantic relationships and nuclear families at the policy level. If you have to work multiple jobs to afford a place to live or if you have a 2 hour commute because the local bus service sucks or if the best spot in town to meet new people is an accessibility nightmare, all of these things are going to stifle community and we're still going to be lonely. I genuinely do sympathize with the plight of the single alloro, but there has to be an understanding that your individual loneliness is not the end of the line.

[ace8space]

so. people have entertained the idea of gay jesus (religious trauma amiright?) .

but.

what about aroace jesus?

i feel like aroace jesus would cook

[mossy-aro]

love as religion; am i doomed? / on aromanticism

all highlighted sections from ‘aromanticism’ by moses sumney - the album notes // other excerpts in order: ‘doomed’ - moses sumney / quote by Naïmah Janse / earthlings - sayaka murata / ‘sun bleached flies’ - ethel cain / unknown / ‘doomed’ - final verse

[ao3-shenanigans]

Hi, reminder to not infantilize autistic, asexual, or aromantic people and characters.

Thanks!

[serapheseraphim]

People really need to stop talking about aromantic people in such a way to suggest we need to, like, make up for our lack of romantic attraction? This ties into the whole "aromantic people can still date" and "aromantic people can have qprs" and "aromantic people still feel strong platonic love" pattern I keep seeing where it's as if people are trying to say "don't worry, they can still be mostly normal" and it is so frustrating to me as a non-partnering aromantic person and is likely even worse for aplatonic and loveless aros.

[infiniteorangethethird]

sure "romantic" isn't the only type of love but also "love" isn't the only type of positive feeling. So maybe stop insisting everyone needs love to be happy and accept that loveless ppl exist? Pretty please?

[heartless-aro]

Being a nonpartnering aro is funny because you’ll go “I would like to be single forever” and society is like “nooo you can’t be happy like that!” even though you are already single and happy about it. It’s so silly. What do you mean I can’t be happy staying single forever? I have been happily single my whole life. I am literally already doing the thing that people assume will bring lifelong misery upon me, and I’m happy. If I am doomed to lifelong misery, then where is that misery right now?

[genderkoolaid]

hiiii can we talk about the impact being aromantic has on your gender i'd like to talk about the impact being aromantic has on your gender. how much romantic attraction and relationships are essential in establishing yourself as a Real & Proper Wo/Man. like literally throughout my gender journey i would keep mentally updating the hypothetical narrative of my future marriage and it took YEARS until I realized I didn't even want to get married. but sexuality is so fundamental to gender and romance is so fundamental to sexuality. i cannot separate many of my struggles with gender from my inability to make mine coherent through my pursuit of socially acceptable romances

[knifearo]

being aromantic is like. hey btw you're going to live a life that is the culmination of most of society's worst nightmares. sorry lol ✌️ but then you turn around and take a really good hard look at it and it turns out that living in that nightmare is fucking awesome and you get to wake up every day and take that fear that other people have and laugh and hold it close until it's a great joy for you instead. and being happy is a radical act that you define instead of someone else. and you're sexy as fuck that's just a fact of life i don't make the rules on that one

[sadisthetic]

the madness frustration loneliness of the dissonance of a mismatch of the rotten heart to the rest

allosexual aromantic swag happy pride *peaces out*

[pepsicandle]

yes asexuals can fuck but we need to not forget that allos can possibly not fuck ? entirely too many times I hear people saying "lol you're probably ace" to people that are literally just celibate . like guys . please . stop acting like the asexual = no sex i thought we were far past that guys

theres so many reasons to be celibate from religious to health (both physical and mental) and all the way to just not wanting to and it can very much have nothing to do with attraction

(not to mention it feels weird to see as a celibate aroallo but that's a separate topic)