#being able to see something most people can't see sets you apart from them and makes it harder to connect

[terrestrialnoob]

Harley crawled into the apartment. It was organized, but it looked like the occupant didn't have a lot of time for cleaning. She walked softly through it, taking it in. There were photos of her target and what had to be her family, but no friends or romantic partners. Some had a pair of older adults, matching traits meant bio-parents. More of the photos were of the target and a younger boy - a little brother, the highest likelihood of becoming another target if things go bad.

Harley continued forward, following the light to where her target was. She stood in the doorway, looking in.

Dr. Jasmine Fenton, Arkham Asylum's newest psychologist, just got her degree and everything. She did what most newbies do, actually thinking she could get through to the Joker. Harley didn't want to say it was impossible, but everyone who tried ended up in a new job or dead. Harley would try and make sure it was the former and not the later.

Harley watched as the redhead read over a file as she ate from a takeout box. She didn't want to scare the girl, yet. The scaring her away from Joker came later. So, she had to wait for the perfect moment to-

"I know you're there." Jasmine didn't look up from her file, but held out the last box of Chinese food in Harley's direction. "There's plenty if you want some."

"Awe, you ruined the surprise." Harley walked out of the shadows of the hallway into the girl's home office. She snatched the offered box of food and took a few bites as she jumped to sit on the desk.

"I'm hard to sneak up on." Jasmine said, closing her file and finally looking at Harley. "So, Dr. Quinzel, to what do I owe the pleasure of your visit this evening?"

"Oh, call me Harley!" She laughed, she wasn't called Dr. all that often any more. She tapped her chop sticks on the file Jasmine just closed. "I thought you'd like a consult on your new patient, Dr. Fenton. I've got a lot of experience with him."

"I prefer to go by Jazz." She said with a smile, "While I appreciate the offer, I'd like to see how far I can get on my own. And, sorry, but I'm pretty sure your license was revoked."

Harley nodded as she swallowed to get the noodles out of her mouth. "I get it! You're new, fresh outta school, gotta prove yourself. But Joker ain't the guy to do that with. He eats people like us for breakfast, and in all the years he's been in Arkham, no one's been able to get anywhere with him."

Jazz sighed, "I don't like to believe people are lost causes. There's always something we can do to help."

"You can't help everyone, especially when they don't want it. And it's not just a question if whether or not he can be saved or whatever." Harley set down the now empty box, Jazz pointed to another one that still had food in it, but Harley declined. "If you keep it up, he'll think you're worth his time to torment. There's no telling what he'll do when he inevitably gets himself out again."

"I'll be fine." Jazz said, but Harley had to cut her off before she said something stupid.

"It's not just you! You've got family out there he can target, your parents. Your Brother! Anyone you date will become a target! He'll do everything in his power to make your life miserable!"

Jazz chuckled. "If he wants to target my family, his funeral. My parents are - were supervillains. They've really only become less- well, hyper-focused on eradicating an entire race of being- in the past few years. And my brother - I'm pretty sure he's conditionally immortal. So that's nothing to worry about."

"If it's conditional, Joker will find a way around it." Harley said, but she had to admit, this might have been an unnecessary trip. "You sure y'ain't got nothing to worry about? What about you? How conditional is your mortality?"

Jazz smiled. Her mouth seemed too wide and with too many teeth. "Oh, I am nowhere near immortal. But..."

She stood up and the room was suddenly a black void. Toxic green eyes and mouths filled with glowing white teeth opened around them. "I doubt anyone could get close enough to test it."

The room was suddenly back to normal, but whatever that thing was was still there. Harley could see its eyes watching her with amusement from inside Jazz's oversized cardigan.

"Well, I guess this really was a wasted trip. You've clearly got it covered."

"Not entirely." Jazz said, her hand wend up to her neck to rub nervously, "Well, you see... I don't really have a lot of friends. People tend to get - uh, creeped out, you know? Or chased off by my parents or brother or whatever..."

"You wanna be friends?" Harley laughed so hard she almost fell over.

Jazz's face turned bright red and the shadow eyes looked way less amused. "Yeah, stupid question. You've clearly got your own things going on."

"No! No, no." Harley had to take several deep breaths before she could look Jazz in the face again. "I 100% wanna hang out with you!"

"Really?"

"Oh yeah." She took another deep breath, "I mean, I really should have made a support system before trying to take on the Joker back when I worked for Arkham. This" she pointed between them "can only end well."

Jazz's face turned brighter than the sun. "Oh my gosh! This is amazing! We should - I have Thursday's and weekends off - What - what kind of things should we-"

Oh man, Jazz was like an excited kid. She must have had a really lonely childhood... they can psychoanalyze each other later. "Come over for girl's night next week. I'll tell my gf and bff to expect an extra person... Does the-" she motioned to the cardigan creature "-go everywhere you go? Does it need food?"

"Oh, don't worry about Jet, they only eat who I tell them to."

Harley barked out more laughter. "You're going to fit right in!"

Now featuring a Part 2

[zahri-melitor]

One of the many tragedies of Jack Drake is that not only was he bad at being a parent, but that he had the perfect person to discuss how hard the experience was for him right there and yet the only conversation they ever have about parenting Tim is conducted at gunpoint.

Because look at Jack Drake. As far as he was concerned, he had everything under control until Janet died and his world fell apart.

Tim was a Good Kid™ as a kid. He was well behaved and polite and not a difficult child and that's obvious from the fact that many of his memories of his parents together are of being taken out in public. Jack and Janet had one kid and they clearly wanted that kid to enjoy the same things they did, so they took him with them to restaurants and museums and art galleries and the opera. And he enjoyed it and enjoyed that time with them.

Jack however clearly saw his role as a father and a husband in the very traditional position as the main provider. It was his job to work and bring in the income that supported their lifestyle (his depressive episode after losing the company and their having to move makes it very clear how much of his self-worth was tied up in that role). He had a son, but his time with Tim was pretty clearly about taking Tim out with him on a Saturday afternoon to watch sport, or play tennis with his friends, or go to the monster trucks, or go fishing: being able to spend a few hours with Tim and show him off to his friends and then return home and someone else took over looking after Tim. And in his mind, he clearly thought he was a good parent! He spent time with his son! His son was a credit who was worth showing off! He could take Tim with him when he and Janet went out for the evening, and Tim could be relied upon to behave. He was winning at being a father!

The part Jack never realised, of course, was that like many men in his position, he'd handed the day to day logistics of raising a kid over to his wife (Janet) and to people he paid to do it for him (Tim's boarding school). He wasn't the disciplinarian parent. He was the 'fun' parent, who got to have the good times with his child.

If Jack was ever actually involved in decisions about discipline and consequences of actions, it was probably at the ultimate stage: the 'wait til your father gets home' sort of threat. The nuclear option. He didn't handle the everyday stuff - he probably never SAW the everyday stuff.

So, Jack thinks he's a great parent. He can brag to his friends about how well behaved HIS child is, unlike those little ruffians you see screaming in public or whose parents can't take them anywhere because they're disruptive.

Then his world falls apart. He's injured and disabled and grieving. He's a single dad. And the kid he's got is suddenly not the child he remembers. Tim frequently acts out, lies, runs away and comes home with bruises and notes from school saying they’re worried something is going on. He also starts dating and possibly trying to have sex ‘too young’ (being caught with Ariana sleeping over and the couch situation, Steph being pregnant even if Tim insisted it wasn't his).

Jack Drake has to suddenly step up to be the main parent of a 14 year old who he's probably never had that dynamic with. He doesn't have the years of experience in how Tim reacts to various forms of boundaries and punishments, because he's never been the one who set them or enforced them. He's probably never sat down and talked to Tim about his feelings in his life. And Tim, I repeat, is fourteen years old, possibly one of the most difficult ages for a kid. Everyone's 14 year olds are suddenly more difficult than usual and pushing boundaries.

On top of that, he's got to learn this all on the fly, in circumstances where he basically has no support. "Help, I'm a new single father to a teenager' isn't really a genre of self help book or parenting group that gets a lot of love - most people who are single parents aren't men, and most people looking for advice on dealing with problems with raising their kids are talking about under-5s, because by the time kids are out of the toddler stage most parents have a reasonable idea of what works and what doesn't, have networks set up, and are usually reaching out for a bit of advice or support about a specific situation, not Dealing With It All.

What Jack really needs is a buddy or two who are also single fathers to teenage boys, who have experience navigating this, maybe who also acquired responsibility for their son in his teen years. Wow. I mean that's a big ask, but funnily enough, there's someone who lives right next door who exactly fits that description...

(The tragedy that Bruce and Jack only ever have the one discussion about parenting Tim, the kid they've been effectively co-parenting since Tim was 13 years old, and that that discussion took place with Jack holding a gun on Bruce).

So of course Jack is terrible at being a parent to Tim. He's inexperienced, he doesn't have any support, he doesn't SEEK support outside of marrying Dana (and Dana clearly while lovely is both ineffective and reluctant to interfere in Jack and Tim's relationship). Now, he fails on very specific axes, in ways that are both understandable and also signs that Jack has a bad handle on his temper.

His go-to threat is sending Tim back to boarding school, because: when Tim was at boarding school, Jack didn't have any discipline issues with Tim! It clearly worked!; Tim doesn't want to go back to boarding school, making it a threat to hold over him; again, Jack's seeing a kid who is sneaking around, lying, running away and he's at his wits end - there's a narrative in the circles he lives in that such kids DO need to be taught to behave and sending them to boarding school is a way to do that.

He runs hot and cold on paying attention to Tim because up until Tim was 14 that was...what he did! And it wasn't such an issue then, as he wasn't a single parent. And when he pays attention, he does tend to be focused (laser focused, in fact), in getting Tim out of No Man's Land, of the dramas at school during Cry of the Huntress when Jack's getting outraged over Tim's bruises and getting into fights, when he's arguing with Ariana's uncle over whether Tim and Ariana's relationship was going too far.

It's just that he never developed the day to day, in between level of parenting and boundary setting and discipline. He's got a temper, and he swings between "it'll be fine, Tim's a smart kid, I trust him" laid back permissiveness, and getting mad and going immediately to the nuclear option: "You are going back to boarding school!" and so on.

He doesn't know how to walk away and calm himself down when he's worked up. He's not particularly good at redirecting his aggression. And he gets easily frustrated, because in his mind everything went smoothly for years...until it was all his responsibility.

And the thing is, there are so many ways Jack could have tried harder to be a good parent, that were available to him. But because of his background and the culture he lived in and the demands of storytelling he never reached out for any of them.

(And Bruce was right there! They knew each other socially! Everyone knew Bruce had worked through having two teenage sons on his own! He could have asked for advice, and he even knew Bruce knew Tim, given Bruce had officially fostered Tim while Jack was in a coma and in hospital. If you were putting together a specific support group you'd kick yourself over how perfect this was)

It's just such a part of the tragedy of Jack Drake.

[psychicreadsgirl]

Pick a Dish: Your Relationship Dynamics with your next S/O

Pick the picture that draws you most. If you can't decide between 2, then look at the 2 readings. Remember, this is a general reading so take what resonates and leave what doesn't behind.

#1

Very relaxed, kind of lazy. Stay at home dates - a lot of Netflix and chill vibes. Almost literal couch potatoes at times.

You two will feel comfortable with each other really fast. You two won't be scared of sharing your "bad" sides like farting in front of the other or telling them how bad your arm pits smell etc. You also will feel comfortable wearing just casual stuff or PJS or home clothes with them. You won't really feel the need to put on makeup or dress up much for your S/O.

You two will feel like good friends, in fact, almost like best friends. You two will either be very clingy towards each other or will lead very independent/almost separate lives, mostly bc of your work/school or some other uncontrollable situation.

You will both help out each other and listen to one another. There's a lot of positive energy between you two. And a LOT of lazy chill energy - which is fine too. Just be careful of your health - still important to exercise and eat healthy.

Some people may feel like you two are like those super old married couples, but you both feel that's ok.

For some there may be a long distance relationship for you two or it will become one after dating.

#2

You both like to keep things fresh and spicy. Expect lots of surprises and fun. I see both of you travelling a lot together and you might even be the couple that quits their jobs and becomes vloggers or quits their jobs to start some other biz etc. Somehow being together leads you two to create something together, whether it be a career/organization/a place/other friendship maybe. There's some "expansion" or creation aspect to this union.

You will find each other to be very funny and will enjoy spending time with each other. You will have endless of things to talk about--likely one of you will be more chatty and the other just more quiet.

You two don't seem to place that much emphasis on material things in life. You enjoy doing activities together -- not necessarily the fact that you two went to some "fancy" restaurant. You both don't really care about luxury goods or brand names. You both would rather spend money on more practical things or entertainment like travel, movies, vacations, etc.

For some of you you might be polar opposites with the other person so inevitably there may be times where you two will definitely butt heads. However you two will make up usually by some physical touch or sex.

#3

There'll be some traditional undertones to this relationship. Perhaps both of you come from very strict families or one of you does or maybe you/they/both have traditional values. Maybe you two were set up by your parents.

There's going to be some element of cultural significance/foreign element too. Perhaps you both enjoy different cultures' foods. Maybe one of you comes from a multicultural family or has lived abroad in many different places. Maybe one of you is fluent in multiple languages or has many different friends abroad. Maybe you guys even are from 2 different countries.

Oddly there's a mix of non-traditional/traditional elements to this relationship. Sometimes that might make for a very interesting dynamic/relationship. Sometimes it might lead to conflict/disagreements because there are 2 different, sometimes opposite views in play.

There's likely going to be someone's parent that disapproves of this relationship for some reason.

I don't see this relationship as one that's particularly easy, in the sense that there are a lot of factors that are out of your control, which try to break you two apart or cause you two conflict. Whether you and your s/o will be able to work with each other to overcome those will be up to both of your efforts in the relationship.

This relationship will also be a meeting of equals, so you both will be quite "equal" in the sense that there won't be a power imbalance. You both could be equally smart or equally foolish. You both could make similar amounts of money too.

#4

This will be a rather chaotic yet dynamic pairing. Somehow there'll be a lot of gossip/news or something related to your relationship. Perhaps this is some office romance that's a bit judged on (i.e. you are dating your boss) or maybe you two seem like such an unlikely pair that people kind of just assume the worst about you two.

I see a strong physical attraction. Sometimes it might even seem like that physical attraction triumphs other parts of the relationship. There will be a lot of physical touch and bedroom activities. If you've never had your 1st sexual experience, then your s/o will likely be the more experienced one. It's not to say that they have fooled around with tons of people out there, but they will have had more dating experience than you.

It feels like one party will be more mature/experienced, while the other seems to be more naive/innocent/inexperienced. There may also be an age gap at play and this age gap can be quite big. Possibly for some of you, this will be the relationship after you've ended a long term relationship or marriage. Possibly for others, your s/o might have been previously engaged or married. Your s/o might even have married more than once before.

This relationship may also have a bit of like..parental feeling? Getting the sense that 1 of you might suffer from issues related to your parents and somehow your s/o kind of takes on the role of a parent that you didn't have. Some people might feel like your s/o is like your nanny sometimes or butler? One of you will definitely be the one that does a lot of acts of service.

#5

There's a very youthful feeling about this relationship. It might even be the 1st relationship that you'll ever have. There's that puppy love/1st love feeling. If it's not the 1st relationship, then it might be that rare serious relationship that you have.

There are very deep feelings within this relationship from both sides - more emotional than physical. Not to say that physical affection doesn't exist here, but you two will feel very emotionally connected with each other. You might even feel like they don't even need to talk to you and they get how you feel and vice versa. I don't see that a lot of communication is needed between you two. Somehow one look or some behaviour will just let you or your s/o know what's going on.

There can be some feelings of possessiveness/obsession with this relationship. 1 of you or both will be rather possessive. That can be bad or can be fine, depending on how it plays out. The possessiveness can sometimes turn into deep obsession/jealousy, which would not be great.

You might feel in this relationship that without your s/o you are incomplete. You feel like your s/o truly understands you. It's possible that 1 of you have had a traumatic childhood/past or both of you have and you two bond because of this. Or one of you will be very empathetic and understanding or somehow maybe even have an occupation as a therapist/healer/doctor that can help your s/o.

#6

Wow there's something really forbidden about this relationship. You or your s/o might both be already in relationships or even in a marriage but somehow you two are very drawn to each other. The lust/attraction is irresistible and even if you or both are already in relationships, you both will still date. Another possibility is that you two are dating when you're not supposed to be like the school/company won't let employees date or you're dating your best friend's ex partner. Or you two come from 2 different religions/ethnicity that traditionally have hated each other. Other possibilities in rare cases could be like incest or bordering incest (i.e. you are in love with your step sibling who doesn't have any blood relations with you or you are in love with your cousin etc). In other rare cases, you may be dating a well-known public figure secretly.

There's a lot of intensity with this relationship. The physical affection/passion is definitely there. There may be like a lot of angst too or suppressed feelings or you know in movies etc where there's a lot of sexual tension but then someone comes and interrupts and so the sexual tension has to be cut short? Something like that.

This relationship while intense may end rather abruptly or have many make ups and break ups. Somehow you both continue to be drawn to each other.

For some there may be some toxic stuff in this relationship - I see a lot of arguments and shouting and then shortly after there'd be intense makeup sex or kissing. A lot of times the physical side of the relationship will dominate everything else, which isn't so good, because the problems of this relationship don't go away.

For this relationship to work, both will need to recognize the issues and want to change and also realize that communication is very important. For some, this relationship will inevitably end for various reasons.

Because of the forbidden element to this relationship, inevitably there can be many misunderstandings and complications.

This relationship, however, will be one that you will definitely always remember - probably the one most dear to you.

[coquelicoq]

[Image description: Two stills from the episode. The first is a close-up on Natori's face as he holds up a black crow feather. He's wearing glasses and a bucket hat and saying "I sent Hiiragi after him so we could take him out". In the second, Natori takes off his glasses, looking at Nanase offscreen at an exorcist meeting. He's still wearing his bucket hat, which throws the top of his face into shadow. Hiiragi is visible behind him. /end ID]

Rewatch: S2E11 Assembly of Conjurers

A horrible exorcists rewatch post. What is the horrible exorcists rewatch?

🌹Summary Natsume encounters an injured crow youkai. Natori invites Natsume to a meeting of exorcists to chase after a youkai that looks like a flying head.

🌹Canon Notes +this episode corresponds to manga volume 3 ch 11 +dangerous youkai can run around eating youkai and eating livestock +youkai are used as guides to lead people to exorcist-youkai gatherings +ideograms can be drawn on parts of human bodies for protection  +srry hiiragi, that you got punched this one time when you were trying your best to help but the misunderstanding was hilarious (and you wonder if any exorcists ever get protective tattoos of certain ideograms? probably not, knowing the negative connotations on tattoos and yakuza in japan) +both youkai and people attend the meetings; not everyone at the meetings can see youkai, some can just sense them +natori suggests that natsume should wear a mask at the meeting; info-gathering is important, while also trying not to give away too much about your own identity +natori’s family, apparently, was famous once as powerful exorcists +the lizard youkai on natori never goes to his left leg. +nanase-san knows about the name Natsume Reiko (and presumably, so do some of the others at the meeting) +natori also asks “is matoba-san here too?” at the meeting. matoba does not appear at the meeting +exorcists hunt youkai and get bounties from posters on exorcist bulletin boards +natori can find other youkai with his paper dolls if he knows the youkai’s name and he draws a circle of water for the tracking spell. +sealing pots (or objects) can be enchanted to fly back to an owner’s hand

🌹 Comments For a natsume yuujinchou episode, this one starts out on a much darker and bloodier note with the death of a crow youkai that was eaten in front of natsume’s eyes by another youkai that looks like a giant head. we find out from natori’s first appearance that individual exorcists exist; with this episode, we get a glimpse at a larger world of an exorcist community beyond natsume’s usual peaceful town and forest adventures. like all communities, they have their own conflicts, intrigues, and secrets. things we learn about EXORCIST WORLDBUILDING: entire families can become famous for their exorcist powers, as the ability to see youkai (and the ability to fight them off) is something that can be passed down through blood relatives. masks and fake names are used and seen as a wise necessity when attending exorcist gatherings; people want to get information but find it dangerous to have their identities known. we can sort of understand why this would be the case for youkai, seeing as natsume’s book of friends is seen as a powerful object, when all it has are youkai’s names in it. but why do exorcists want to hide their names from other humans? perhaps some are part-time exorcists, like natori, and can’t have their faces intefere with their other real-world jobs? or perhaps some families are feuding with each other and find it easier to gain information and reduce conflict if other people’s identities are obscured? exorcists can also get assignments by finding bounties posted on an…exorcist community bulletin board or answering requests from other individuals. from natori’s first appearance, he was disarming and charming, and a little dangerous, but was also balanced out humorously with ridiculous background roses and sparkles. in this appearance, his exorcist side is present in full-force, and he’s more grim, more serious throughout. while he’s not at ease during this episode, he seems entirely nonchalant about the life-threatening danger he faces when tracking down the giant-headed youkai, which could end him in one bite. it’s just another day’s work to him. we also get more snapshots of his background story; natori is the son from a famous exorcist family (”The Natori family have always been exorcists…I’m famous by birth, so there’s no point in hiding”). the lizard youkai on his skin never goes to his left leg, which he finds unsettling. there’s also a teasing hint of an unspecified conflict between natori and another group of exorcists (”The Matoba group and I don’t get along well”). this is also the second or third time when natori asks natsume for help with exorcist matters, worded in a way which appeals to natsume’s compassion: “You have power. There are those who need it. Will you ignore them?” power, the sight to see youkai, the ability to defeat them–these are the values of the exorcist community, and, at least in natori’s view, can be used to help others. we also meet another exorcist at the meeting–Nanase-san, who natori introduces to natsume as “something like a secretary to the Matoba group.” natori also takes the trouble to specifically introduce hiiragi, his new shiki, to nanase-san. i wondered for a moment why he would take the time to do so; but it makes sense. if shiki are introduced to other exorcist colleagues, the likelihood of someone accidentally banishing or sealing your shiki are reduced. nanase-san first appears to be a kindly character; when she is introduced to natsume, she tells him “But you need not fight alone anymore.” Were these the things natori was hoping natsume would hear, when following him to the meeting–connection, sympathy, community? (natori takes off his glasses during the brief scenes of introduction, which may not mean much of anything; but we do know that the glasses add a bit of security to natori’s mind, to help him see youkai better). as the episode proceeds, nanase-san, by her appearance a smiling respectable elderly exorcist, turns out to be absolutely ruthless in how she interacts with youkai, natori, and natsume. not purposefully cruel or rude; but ruthless. the sealing jar she at first gifted to natori turns out to be the means to help her gain a new shiki after natori had done the work of sealing the youkai and she had used the crow youkai as bait at the beginning of the episode. finally, when natsume is angry with her, on behalf of the crow youkai which had died, all she tells him is: “Oh dear. That tenderness will be the death of you.” in the exorcist community, compassion, softness towards youkai (or towards other exorcists?) leads to a person’s ruin. if nanase-san and natori had been acquainted before, had this ever been something she had said to him? we find out more about the exorcist community, the darker, dangerous world that natori interacts with outside of his acting and his roses. as for what natori thought about other exorcists when he first met them when he must have been younger, all we have to infer from are natsume’s reactions, which run from excitement to mixed, uneasy emotions: If I go, will I find others like me? Will I find people here who know my pain? Can I honestly, truly believe in others? I have to protect…the people here who understand my pain. I have to be able to at least do that!… But it’s people like me who are the most dangerous. I thought what I wanted was to be strong, because I found those I want to protect… natsume never completes his last thought on what else he wanted to be, other than someone who was strong. the parallels also diverge at the point about other people; we don’t know yet, if there’s anyone, or any people that natori wants to protect (personally), if he can understand that impulse at all.

Feel free to reblog with your own comments or to link and type a separate response post. Previous posts: S1E9 rewatch. S1E13. S2E3. More exorcists meta can be read here. Other rewatch posts will be tagged with ‘horrible exorcists rewatch’

[dilf-docs]

Hello! I love what you write it’s amazing! ✨

Can I request an Eddie Brock one where the reader is her neighbor and they are pretty close and she’s in love with him but he’s still obsessed with Anne, and one day she sees him really sad (about Anne) and invites him to see her band and she starts playing (The one- The Warning) and idk something interesting happens:0

Take A Chance On Me

eddie brock x younger fem!reader

summary: being in a relationship with eddie is a bliss! except for when he mourns his ex relationship with anne, which unfortunately, seems to be pretty much all the time. in the middle of all that sulking, you come up with an idea. will you be able to make him choose you this time?

warnings: 18+ (minors dni), age gap, smut, situationship lol, so angst!!, sunshine!reader x grumpy!eddie (he's still mopping around), hurt/comfort, exhibition kink, fingering, oral (f. receiving), p. in v., riding, creampie, you can tell i've been listening to ABBA ijbol, no venom :(

word count: 4,394 words

side note: hi, tysm for requesting! since this request is very specific lol but has similar themes to my previous eddie work i decided to make it as a follow-up in the neighbours au; not a series yet but it was an interesting idea to add to their dynamic!!! hope you like it <3 in case you wanna read the previous part for context as to where this two are it's here

Ever since that night, your relationship with Eddie has grown. Hell, you may say you're a day away from being official any time.

And there are time's when you're so sure of it, like when he stops by your apartment and kisses you like there's no one else in the world; to later make you come hard with the lights off (hey! you gotta start a tradition or two).

But there are other times when you knock on his door and he doesn't open, only for you to use your spare key, finding the room scented with empty bottles, your neighbor mumbling something like Anne through his sad pouty lips.

Yes, Anne. A name that makes you seethe like it burns; a ghost that haunts the spaces of silence where Eddie seems to doubt what the hell is he doing: why is he there―with you.

Your heart feels heavy, and it feels sort of pathetic that it's his hurting what hurts you the most. In the end, things are like this: you love helping people, your empathy may be infinite and you're sure you've never loved anyone like you love Eddie Brock before.

So it's this combination of things that makes you take the following decision, hoping to make him pass the page, so whenever he gets drunk again, all his lips will ever whisper is your name over and over again; that his sadness belongs to him, and not the only person that seems to be keeping you away from your happy ending, even if they don't know about it.

To Eddie, you're the sweetest thing in the world. Nobody kisses like you do, hugs with the tightness you do, loves as much as you do, fucks as good as you do or bakes killer cookies like yours.

That list does nothing but grow, as he is constantly mesmerized by every new little thing he learns about you: your favorite movies, the new recipes you try (he's more than happy to beta taste them for you), the way you sing (you do have a good voice that made him squirm at the other secret talent you had) and your kindness, which has done more hurt than good lately: because Eddie can't fathom the idea of you, taking care of him during his sad drunken mopping nights, while listening to everything about Anne on repeat.

He knows it hurts you, that he's starting to create creaks in your relationship, the hope slowly fading away from your eyes each passing day, doubts creeping up your smile, erasing that shiny beautiful light of yours; it's the only thing stopping him from calling you his girlfriend, and still, he can't stop.

It's like a vice at this point, and he wonders if he'll ever sober out of it.

So today he knocks on your door, hoping to set things straight even if a part of his heart still beats for Anne. It may be selfish, but after you came in his life, he can't imagine it without you.

But when you open up, he's at loss for words.

"Why are you wearing that?"

You scoff. "Hope it's not an offense, judging by your tone"

His eyes roam over your body, and even if you tend to be more on the confident side, you can't help but feel shy. After all, he's never seen you like this before: all glam.

It's a jacket, well his jacket, a small black top and black very short shorts. You surely are playing the part tonight, switching your usual pink and sunflower bubbly style to something more... rock.

"Why?" is all he asks, and you feel obligued to answer. Besides, you were going to knock on his door after getting out, not expecting he did it first. The surprise is ruined, but his incredulous eyes suffice for now.

"So, my friend has this band" you explain, "and they just got sick. The thing is, they had a gig today in a bar where they're regulars, so naturally, cancelling at last minute is not an option"

"And?" you love how oblivious he can be sometimes.

"And, I found a replacement" his face remains blank, so you sigh a little dissapointed but deliver with chirp, "me!"

"You?"

You roll your eyes, "is there a problem?"

"No!" he corrects hastily, "I'm just surprised, that's all. I know you like to sing, and have a good voice! But there's a huge gap between that and well, playing in a gig"

"I know, but I used to have a band when I was in highschool; I'm used to this things"

His mouth falls a bit, and maybe his head starts to cloud with ideas of your clashing new style and angel like voice; or maybe it's you wearing his jacket, a garment of his for you to bear in public: a first. It's a bit stupid and too daydream-ish for his liking, so he blurts:

"I didn't know that"

Your laugh is so light, it feels like wind blowing across a field.

"Oh, Eddie baby" he blushes at the pet name and endearing tone, your voice dropping like it does whenever you want something he's more than willing to give you, "there's a lot you don't know about me"

In the end, you convinced Eddie to join you, who, if you're being honest, didn't need that much convincing.

He was sold just with the idea of seeing you sing, which intrigued him. There's a huge difference in your drunk karaoke nights that annoyed your neighbors and playing live in a gig. Eddie wants to see what you have to offer, and as for you? Well, this is your plan: your plan to make him forget about Anne once and for all.

It may be silly and immature but hey, you're young! It's okay to be wrong and possessive sometimes, and your friend just did you the favor of faking an illness to give you a spot to shine and put that voice of yours to use, that's a bit rusty since your highschool days. So, no pressure! Your potential boyfriend is on the crowd and ruining this would cost your kind friend their job. Good thing your optimism doesn't seem to expire, because Lord! Your hands are trembling and sweaty when you hold a microphone again for the first time in a little more than a decade.

"Hey" you exit out of the curtain, and the dim lights now bright up a little, directing themselves towards you, "good evening"

You hear a bit of muffled voices that sound confused, asking for your friend, and you can tell the crowd are regulars. Yikes.

"I'm here on behalf of Isha. They're sick, so I'm covering just for tonight" you decide to go for a little jokey joke to light up the otherwise judgemental room, that seems to be testing you―like they know all your weak spots; smell your nerves. "So don't like me too much, as I'm a one time thing"

Eddie laughs, but covers it with a cough when he realizes the room is awfully quiet.

"Okay, uh, for tonight's set, I've got a few things prepared" you fumble a bit with the papers where the lyrics are (you've always liked to be a bit old fashioned), like you're clumsy and it's your first time, not reflecting the fact that this idea has been simmering for a while―every song rehearsed and planned. "Songs, I mean, I've got a few songs prepared"

You start with something smooth, which makes people divert their attention back to whatever they were doing. To you, that's a bit dissapointing, but as long as they don't judge and Eddie keeps his eyes on you, you think you can make it.

But what where you really thinking? Being optimistic means you're often let down, as your pink bright ideas end up crushed by the real gray world. And you can handle it―as you're no weak, but resorting to singing a song that feels oddly specific about the situationship you're currently living in hopes of making Eddie forget his ex fiancée and get whooped by your mesmerizing voice is actually kind of crazy!

But yeah, now you're nearing the end of the set list and almost everyone's eyes are on you. Of course, Eddie is the most attentive, taking every word that pours out of your melodic mouth like if he's thirsty, and your voice is the only thing that can help him. He never leaves your silhouette, and it may be you dreaming, but there's something like guilt and love behind his eyes; torn. Yeah, you do feel like you're dreaming, and it's been so long since you felt this alive; you kind of forgot how happy singing made you.

As the crowd is engaged, you find it fitting to make a pause and announce the next song. You know your voice comes out as shaky, but hope people think it's about tiredness and not nerves. Why are you nervous, thought? People love you! It's because this is the final part of your plan: singing this song you used to be obssesed long ago, but now seems to perfectly sum up those raw, angry and vulnerable feelings fo yours you're simply not used to; they say music helps us put a name to that we can't, and that has never been more true.

"For the next song, well, our last song" a few booing echos in the crowd, and you can't believe you made it this far. Maybe Isha did lost their job, "it's called The One, by The Warning. Hope you enjoy"

Eddie's had such a blast tonight, he hasn't noticed the past of time, completely lost when you announce the last song. Among other things he's forgotten, is the fact he was supposed to talk today with you about the future of your relationship.

It's kind of your fault: how can he remain focused with such display in front of him?

The band begins playing, and soon, your voice fills the air:

I'll do anything to make it happen

Tell me your secrets, what are you hiding?

Some people sing along the lyrics, while others just listen attentively. You make it to a part of the song that sounds like:

Can you explain to me what's this feeling?Love it or hate it, it's never leaving. Want to believe, that you feel it too.

Oh, Eddie feels nauseous. The lyrics hit a bit too close to home, and he fills called out in the room of oblivious people.

He can hear your vocals breaking a bit, as raw as he's never heard before. He feels so bad, he's about to make the most ridiculous thing of his life and jump onto the stage to hug you, but he can't interrupt you. So he sits there, palms sweaty and nerves tense.

He's been dumb, but like, really dumb. Of course you know it: how can you not? He swears every morning after, his hangover unbearable, your kindness hurts more than his headache―because there's pain behind your eyes, and he knows you remember more what happened than he did. He feels undeserving of your compassion and all the care you give him, even if you know Eddie's still hung up on Anne.

There is no reason to even doubt it. Please, understand that I am not lying. My heart is true, it beats for you.

How can you still love him? Still root for him? How can you give him your heart knowing a part of his still beats for Anne?

Fantasizing that something might happen, always wishing that I was the one.

He feels torn, because he knows it's you he wants to be with. You're the reason his days have been brighter ever since he lost everything, the reason he smiles whenever his door knocks and why he isn't alone in this sulking anymore. So he hates the fact that he can't heal faster and move on, because that's all that's really stopping him from just being him and you.

Give me something I can feel, I'm too afraid to ask. What is it I need to change, for you to love me back?

He's done mourning but he knows grief doesn't pass in the blink of an eye. But he's sure of it already.

Say that you will really never hurt or leave me. Say it and it will come true. Hold me like you really love me: tell me that you do.

Those three words he's been holding back: afraid of feeling too much in such little time; afraid of thinking he would ever feel his heart beat for anyone else, the confession dripping from his eyes but not past through his sealed mouth.

And I know that I'm not the one on your mind. But still, I will be the one.

The song ends before he's registered, and amid the applauses, you leave the stage, almost running behind the courtain. The band bids goodbye and Eddie finds himself leaving his table and moving onto where the small improvised dressing room is.

He's done pondering. You will be the one.

You didn't plan to rush backstage like that, but tears started to burn in your eyes and it was getting harder to contain them infront of the crowd.

They loved your show, but you feel empty, even if a little relieved. There was a pressure before and now it's gone, but there's a thing that hasn't gone: the doubt.

You wonder if Eddie understood the words you feel like a coward for not voicing, the feelings that threaten to spill like a hot cauldron, the rage burning your throat when he talks about her, like she's all there is in his mind. Then comes the sadness; you can't help but wonder if he will ever choose you.

Tonight, perhaps, is the day all those what-if's will be answered, and their possible answers won't hunt you anymore.

It's like he read your mind, because there's a knock in your door and it's like you have memorized a bit too much of Eddie: the traces of his face―with wrinkles that mark the gaps in your relationship, the loud way in which he eats, the sounds he makes when he rides his bike, especially those when you wrap your arms around his; even the way his knuckles call for you through the door.

You clear your throat, trying to hide your broken voice. "Come in"

Eddie's face pops up, and all you can offer him is a weak smile. "Did you like the show?"

He tries to measure what he's about to say, because he doesn't know where to start, but the glow in his eyes betrays him, so he excitedly says: "It was great! I didn't know you had that in you, baby"

Even the pet name doesn't make the smile reach your eyes. Oh, he's screwed up for sure.

"Thanks" you mutter, small. You hate feeling like this: the last time you did, you were still in middle school. Your kindness was taken for weakness, and you promised yourself you would never let your heart be taken and used again. Yet here you are, hope planting a seed inside of you that's grown into a rose with thorns that pierce your sweet heart whenever it beats for Eddie. But you can't stop: the roots are too deep in you, and you can't find yourself to kill the flower that's bloomed out of this one-sided love.

"Listen, y/n" oh, he's serious. No petname or nothing. Maybe he's finally opened his eyes and realise this fooling-around-thing you've got going on isn't going nowhere; that your new isn't as exciting as it was before, and his heart will never be yours. You'll never be the one.

"Y-yes?" you can't fake it. Your voice cracks, so you avoid looking at him, "tell me, Eddie".

He shouldn't start with that, seeing the way your face fell and body shakes, even though you're sitting.

"Fuck. Baby, no" he coos, getting closer and dropping on his knees, forcing you to look at him by taking your face softly by the chin, "look at me".

When you meet his eyes and they're already glossy, he feels like he deserves a higher punishment than what any physical one could ever accomplish.

"No, no. Shit, I'm sorry" he tries wiping your tears with his thumb, but you keep on crying more. "Ah, fuck"

"Are you done with me?" you ask on a shaky whisper.

Funny saying that when you weren't even a thing. But you can't help and yearn for it; said what first came onto your mind.

"No!" he corrects, so quick and loud it startles you. "What made you think that?"

"The song-" you start blabbering, "No, I'm sorry Eddie, it's my fault. I shouldn't put on a show that's m-more like a tantrum if we're being honest. We're adults and we can talk, for God's sake! That was so immature of me. Let's just forget this and- I don't even know what to do or what to say, just, spare me from walking out or taking the elevator at the same time I do because it's just gonna be so embarrasing- please, if you're gonna break up with me, do it quick-"

He didn't want to, but he feels the need to interrupt your little rant by now.

"Y/n, stop" you feel even more embarrased now. You start to drift a little and begin considering to move out of the country and change your name. "Who said anything about breaking up?"

Ah, you feel stupid. Stupid, but hey! How can you not come to that conclusion? It's both of yours fault.

"Y-you didn't" you whisper, "but-" you try to reason yet the anger and embarrasment is a bit too much.

"I didn't yet I can understand why you'd feel that way" he sighs, "but let me explain, please"

With a nod, you motion him to continue.

"I'm the only one who should be saying sorry. You did nothing wrong, baby; in fact, your little solution to talk out your feelings surprised me a lot. In a good way! You know I love your voice. But anyways, as I was saying, I'm sorry about everything. It's just... it's not fair to you: you've been nothing but sweet, loving and the best girl I've met ever. I feel like I don't deserve you, and after tonight, if you choose not to stay with me, I'll get it. You're worth of much more than a sad, older and bitter nobody" he ends his sad little man speech, and you can't help it but leave your sit and wrap your arms around him, burying your face on his shoulder as you whisper lovingly on his ear:

"I know, Eddie" you stroke his hair gently, "but I'm not leaving you. Never"

He lets himself sink into your embrace, the perfume and sweat such an intoxicating smell, he's drowning in your scent already.

"Good" his voice turns husky, dropping an octave. The hard on his jeans doesn't go unnoticed, "because I wanted to give my rockstar a reward"

You laugh, and he feels better seeing you smile.

"Seriously, Eddie? How can you go from vulnerable to horny?"

"Both are states of vulnerable!" he defends, "besides, tell me that you don't want it" he motions for you to stand against the dresser, your back against the mirror, goosebumps in your skin when it touches the cool surface.

Eddie grips the flesh of exposed skin your shorts show, leaving a trail of kisses against the bare tights. He pulls them off, and you gasp out a contained moan.

"Someone c-could find us, Eddie"

He growls, his head in between your legs, the panties blocking him from your pulsating cunt. "Let them" he pronounces it so deliciously, you find it hard to resist the panic of being found; Isha will kill you if they found out, but hey, the plan was to get back with Eddie so in the end, it worked, right? Can't get mad at that.

The panties come off with a yank, and you can barely ask if he locked the door before his tongue gives the exposed dripping folds a generous lick. You arch your back at the pleasure that runs through you.

"Mpmh, Eddie" you groan, feeling his slow but steady movements. Your breathe comes out ragged, more when he uses his thumb to caresses the sensible zone with fast circles, making you cum with a cry, yet it muffles inside his mouth that captures your lips in a kiss.

You can taste yourself in his lips, but let him devour your mouth.

"Want more?" Eddie groans against your mouth, his fingers going inside you, softly touching the entrance. You moan against his lips, moving your hips greedily in response.

"Yes" you moan out, making him chuckle.

"Seems I'm not the only horny one here, baby" he mocks, "are you that needy?"

You huff out, annoyed at the accusation.

"Don't worry, you and I both know we love to help each other out" his voice is soft, "besides, it's been a stressful day for us, hasn't it. Let me make you feel better, baby"

His hand travels inside you, his middle and forefinger sliding lazily into you. You tense up, feeling him touch your clit, his fingertips stroking over sensitive tissues. He can see the mirror fogging, and if he didn't have his head in between your legs, he'd probably see his face full of your juices.

"Shit" his voice comes out of his chest, sounding rather gutural and animalistic. "God, how wet you feel, baby"

You mewl. But it's not enough, his fingers falling short: you need to feel all of him. Now.

"Eddie" you beg in need, "please".

"Please what?"

Your hands travel to his pants, undoing his jeans. His large palm stops you before you can reach his underwear.

"Say your words, baby" he taunts, and you hate the way your neediness leaks from in between your tights.

"Just... I need you, Eddie"

He gets rid of the jeans by himself, and you stroke his member covered by the fabric. You get rid of it too, and the next thing is your mouth saying: "I want to ride you"

Even in his haze, he reacts a bit, looking around the room.

"There" you point the chair you were sitting previously on.

He sits down, obeying without a word. You come close, gripping his member firmly in your hand. You pump from the bottom to the top, making him roll his eyes and throw his body back from the pleasure.

His eyes go blank as you sit over his dick, already leaking with pre-cum. Eddie grabs you by the hips, the veins on his arms more notorious, some tattoos popping up like they are 3D.

"You're beautiful" he mutters, and you feel like giving him a reward: so you grab his dick with your hand as his grip gets tighter.

He presses his tip against your fold, side to side, like if he was painting your tight walls with his juices.

He pushes the first centimeter inside, and as soon as you stretch out for him, he starts thrusting, getting a whimper out of you.

"Fuck" he curses, deep inside you. His body shakes, and you feel every single vibration provoked by the friction. You feel dizzy as you go up and down, the rhythm delicious. He keeps moving, his hips doing a circle, all to feel more of you.

"You feel so good, baby" he praises, in ecstasy. You keep moving up and down, covering his long. You bite back a moan, "might end up helping me more than I was going to help you"

He's fucking you silly, and your mind goes blank, so after the thrusts and his confession from before, you dizzy out:

"Everything is for you, Eddie; just for you. You're the only one who can make me feel like this"

"How does it feel?" he asks in a whisper against your ear, his thrusting getting sloppier.

"Feels so good"

"As good as you feel" he moans out, his breathe whistling through his gritted teeth. Your ads bounces against his tights, the sound of skin clapping in the tiny room a very obscene echo. "C'mon, baby. Make me cum"

You tighten with the plea: tights, stomach and ass. Your core is swollen, burning with each new thrust. Eddie keeps you tight as profound as his strong arms can; there'll be a bruise tomorrow.

He pushes all his length inside, keeping you open so he can bury himself deep in you, with strong thrusts against your shaky cunt. His jawline tenses, painfully close to his orgasm.

Your voice comes out muffled, "Harder".

It's funny how no one has even checked the room. No knock, nothing. You suppose they all went out their way when they saw you about to burst in tears, to give you space, a space you're pretty thankful for now.

"You're mine" he rests his forehead against yours, "say it"

His hips shake as you pronounce, "only yours, Eddie"

You can't contain it any longer. There's relief after the intense orgasm that shakes every bone in your body, overestimulation when you feel him cum inside of you, thick shots painting your swollen walls.

You let yourself fall into his arms, the chair creaking with all the weight. Sweat glistens as you try to get your breathe back, your heart beating so fast you fear you'll have a heart attack.

"Tell you a secret?" you hum tiredly against his shoulder, resting your head in it as his long thick fingers comb through your damp hair. You can't believe your plan made it this far, but since you're still in the haze, you can only nod and hum.

He gets closer to you, his hot breathe tickling your ear.

"You're the one, y/n" your heart beats even faster, and you hide your face against his hot skin so he doesn't see the new tears that are forming in your eyes: they're happy tears. "I love you"

Is this is a signal to sing and not voice out your problems? Who knows, maybe next time, if you sing Money Money Money by ABBA, you won't be so broke.

[xythlia]

⎙ — 𝐉𝐎𝐘𝐓𝐎𝐘.𝐓𝐎𝐑

› WELCOME TO THE RED ROOM... RESERVED FOR GUESTS OF PARTICULAR TASTES

› toji x f!reader

› word count : 2k+

- ̗̀໒ warnings : sex work, on camera, choking, my spit kink shining thru again, biting, backshots, (1) ass smack, fingering, cervix fucking, reader has hair long enough to pull, squirting, rough sex, full nelson, creampie

You take a drag of your cigarette, bleary sleep deprived eyes doing their best to focus on the obnoxious flashing neon sign. WE'VE GOT A DOLL FOR EVERY TASTE. It makes you scoff as you grind the but out beneath your scuffed shoe, that's all they think of you all as, dolls. Props that just so happen to moan and squirt.

For the most part you keep your complaints to yourself, money is money. Not that this was what you ever pictured you'd land on as a career but it could always be worse.

Exhaling the last of the crisp night air from your lungs you pull open the sleek silver backdoor to Cloud Nine. The back hallways are made up of dim, twisting corridors. Some lead to the back offices, to security, but as you hook a left to brush past a tinkling bead curtain you're met with the large open dressing room you all share.

You prefer to spend as little time back here as possible, doing the bulk of your prep at your apartment before you're on for the night. You can't stand their mindless, giddy chatter. It also prevents you from getting attached to any of them, or taking on a puppy so to speak.

Before you can finish tucking your bag and coat away in the dingy locker your floor manager is waving a piece of paper in your face.

It makes your stomach flip.

"You got swapped, Angel can't do the red room and you're the only other experienced girl in tonight."

The red room was only ever offered on nights an experienced doll was on the floor, since the people reserving red rooms always have a... particular taste in mind. Newer girls wouldn't be able to handle it. As much of an annoyance as it is to be switched with so little notice, you don't mind. It can get dull shaking your ass for run of the mill patrons all night, plus the red room is where the real money is.

"One or-?" You ask vaguely.

"One guy, don't keep him waiting alright?" She says dismissively.

You grab the piece of paper, the list of what you will and strictly won't do for a red room service. It was standard fare: creampie, light sadism, degradation, ect. Since it wasn't too extreme you didn't bother filling it out, it's easier to just tell the guy.

It's not far to the private rooms, and part of you is more than a little eager to see just who reserved one of these eye wateringly expensive sessions.

Even bathed in the dim red lights you could tell he was attractive, dark hair and eyes that held something elusive even though he kept contact with your own.

"I didn't bother filling this out, nothing you requested is off limits for me." You smile as you let the paper flutter to the floor, taking the seat beside him on the plush lounge.

Out of the corner of your eye you see the blinking light on the camera, he already set it up to record. It makes you quirk a brow at him, usually even the most gutsy ones are a little camera shy.

He smirks at you. "I'll be gentle."

With the way he says it you know it's a lie.

With a grin you lay back, propping a pillow under your head and trying not to focus on that little green recording light in your peripheral. The worst part is being filmed, but that's part of the rooms appeal. These guys pay for the ability to record the entire session not just for being able to fuck someone with no holds bared, but the catch is the club also gets to upload it.

The feeling of his skin brushing against yours cracks your train of thought. His fingertips are calloused, hands rough but he doesn't have the look of a working man. As those fingertips caress a trail down your inner thighs you shiver, letting out a quiet gasp.

"Puttin' on a show?" He purrs.

You give a breathy giggle, winding your arms around his muscles back as he leans over you between your legs. "Isn't that what you paid for?"

He pushes against you, lips brushing experimentally against yours, and deepens it to something harsh and hungry when he feels you start to squirm beneath him. His touch feels like fire, scorching a path across your skin with every grope and fondle of your body. You feel a familiar sensation of dizziness, of lightheadedness; every movement is skilled and purposeful, a deliberate attempt to steal the breath from your lungs and leave you choking on your own spit.

His lips begin to make their way down your neck, sucking hard against the delicate skin and making you groan with every nip of his teeth. In a daze you help him undo the straps of your barely there top, head tipping back when his mouth finds one of your nipples. They get the same rough treatment as your throat, and he gives a particularly sharp graze of his teeth clearly just to hear you yelp.

Your hands cup your breasts, kneading them, as his mouth dips marks a path down your stomach. Caught up in your own eagerness you wiggle your hips slightly, anticipating what's coming only to feel him grip your legs and yank you down further. The suddenness makes you wince, propping on your elbows to see just what he has in mind.

The way he's looking at you, with such debauched hunger it sends butterflies off in your chest. You don't even know his name but you know this is the kind of man a red room was designed for. As he leans forward again between your legs you feel his erection press hard against you, making the fabric of your panties slide against your clit with delicious friction.

Before you can ask, beg, for more his thick fingers glide up the column of your throat and press hard against the sides. Squeezing against your carotid artery and making your mouth drop open. As soon as your lips part you see the shimmer against his bottom lip, watch in fascination as a thick clear string of spit comes down to meet your tongue.

Sucking his lip he brings his face barely an inch from yours, through the fuzz of your restricted blood supply you notice a scar on the corner of his mouth.

"I didn't pay for you to look at the fuckin' camera." His voice is low, gutteral.

The second he lets go your body is automatically sucking air into your lungs, hard and sputtering as you lift your hips up to grind against him. In one smooth movement, before you can even process it properly, he's got you flipped on your stomach and pulling your ass up and back.

Your cheek presses against the plush fabric, eyes squeezed shut feeling his fingers run over your damp panties. There's not even enough time to relish in the contact before two fingers have the fabric pulled to the side, his knuckles sliding past the ring of muscle makes you moan against the lounge seat.

Hearing the soft shuffling of clothes you know he's undressing, even while his other hand is occupied with keeping his fingers scissoring against your slick walls. The sudden emptiness of his fingers withdrawing was quickly replaced by the head of his cock sliding through your arousal, making you suck in a sharp breath.

Just from that little contact you can feel he's got girth and heft, excitement makes you dig your nails into the lounge and press your chest down against it, keeping your ass higher.

You hear him scoff and the sting of his hand coming down hard against your skin makes you cry out, but it's nothing compared to the biting pain as the swollen head pushes against your soaked hole. The stretch is agonizing, you're not sure any amount of prep would've been sufficient. You groan, bottom lip caught in your teeth as you feel the fabric against your face getting wet with the spit seeping from the corners of your mouth.

He doesn't wait for you to adjust before slamming his hips against your ass, hard enough to make your breathing hitch in your throat, and you can feel him brushing against your cervix. The pace is brutal, making your body jostle and shake with each thrust.

Slick squelching mingles with the sound of skin smacking skin to form a perverse melody that only heightens the tension building in your gut. Frantically you slide one hand down to rub you neglected, aching clit but before you can make contact he's got you pulled up by a fistful of your hair. The sting of pain makes tears prick in your waterline as blubbering moans spill from your lips.

The way your body rocks forward with every brush of his cock against your cervix, the way his girth makes your cunt feel overstuffed, it all makes your head spin. His grunts join the obscene cacophony of sounds along with your whines when he lets go of your hair to support your body with one arm while his other hand catches your jaw in a bruising grip.

You squirm, feeling the hot tracks of tears slipping down your cheeks but his hold is steadfast. If you had more presence of mind you'd swear you could feel your heartbeat not just through your entire body but in your cunt too.

As you dissolve in his hold, a crying whimpering mess, he pushes you back down face first into the lounge, holding you by the scruff as he repositions to hit deeper. Your moans fracture into gasps and hiccups as you clench down around him, finally able to rub frenzied circles around your clit and feel that compressed coil snap inside you.

The lounge becomes incredibly damp around your knees and your brain feels as if it's coated in sticky, thick honey.

You whimper pathetically as he yanks you up again, never breaking his pace, forces you to look straight into that ever blinking green light.

"Not all you can take is it?" He sneers, hooking fingers into your mouth and whatever reply you had gets lost in the garbled sounds you choke out around them.

When he suddenly pulls out you groan, body feeling exhausted and boneless on the comedown from your orgasm but he isn't done with you yet. He lays on his back, supporting you on top of him as he makes sure your pussy faces the cameras lens and slips back inside you.

Your eyes roll back as you struggle to help support your own weight. It catches you off guard when pulls you down so your back is pressed against his chest, both of your bodies slick with sweat and various other fluids. His arms loop beneath yours and his fingers lock together behind your neck, making your breaths come in wheezed yelps and your legs automatically rise up.

The muscles in your thighs are screaming from the strain and your lungs burn again, you feel yourself camping around him, walls throbbing and sucking his cock back in with every thrust.

You can't help but sob and blubber hoarsely, begging to cum again with every sharp upswing of his hips. His pace breaks up quickly the tighter you squeeze him, devolving into sloppy thrusts until you feel his cock throb inside you. Warm, sticky heat spreads inside you and you sigh brokenly in his hold.

The cameras unfeeling, fish eye lens catches the creamy white rings forming on his cock, the way his cum drips out of your sore pussy when he slides out of you with a throaty, satisfied groan.

You grin, slow and lazy up at the ceiling. Red room sessions aren't just about the money, they're the most... fulfilling.

[maleyanderecafe]

Courtin' Cowboys (Visual Novel)

Created by: Mr Fishess, jd

Genre: Horror

I know this game came out a while ago, but I finally was able to play it and man is it fun. It reminds me of a smaller scale DOL or even something like The Snake's Taken a Spouse. There are three yanders that are in this game, though it definitely follows more of a porn game logic for yanderes. I will explain that in a bit. This game has a lot of violence and sex, and is r18, so please be wary if you do play it.

The MC basically starts out staying at a town in Summerfield. They rent a motel there. The game allows you to meet people at the saloon, the store, the sheriff's office, out in the pastures and in the woods. You can also decide to leave at any point as well. There are a lot of things you can do in the game besides interact with other characters, including buying and cooking food, going fishing, foraging and catching snakes for money. You can also buy different outfits and customize your looks.

While there are many characters, we will be going over the three yanderes in the game, Dijon, Jak and Will. I'm not sure if I was able to get everything for them, but I was able to at least get all of the endings, so we'll start with that. A lot of the endings usually involve them competing with other yandere characters so we'll cover those as well.

Dijon is the farmer that lives in the pasture. When first meeting him, he will talk about how he can't tell if he's missing sheep because he can't count higher than 10. After helping him, we go hunt for his lost sheep, which has run off into the woods and then go into the farm to have sex with him (I finally get to be the dom in one of these games, heck yes). Most of his endings generally involve sleeping with another character, only for Dijon to kidnap you and bring you back to his farm, where I guess you can just leave afterwards. Each time, it seems like he believes you are like a sheep, having strayed too far from home, getting a bit more paranoid every time that you leave. He can do this upwards of about three times. After sleeping with the fourth person, Dijon will get angry and chain the MC up in the barn, before the MC is able to escape. Dijon runs after them only to hear a loud noise. Afterwards it seems Dijon kind of just continues what he's doing as if nothing has happened.

Jak is the drunk that hangs out in the bar. If you flirt with him before buying him a drink, the two of you can have sex outside in a camp. If you sleep with enough other characters, Jak will actually kill the last person you slept with before being sent to jail. From what I remember, he is also one of the main characters in the creator's other game, Lover's Trophy, though I have yet to play that game.

Will is a clown man that is found in the woods. The MC will end up trying to chase after him finding a bunch of bones set up in a way that resembles a tea party. Depending on options, Will can either end up killing the MC or growing obsessed when the two talk. We learn that he lives in the woods and wears clown makeup because he's afraid of social interactions and wants to make it easier to approach people (thus the clown makeup). We also see he's sort of the groundskeeper of the woods, burying bodies to let them be eaten clean to the bone. After talking to him and not dying, he ends up stalking the MC. During one of the other interactions when the MC is investigating a robbery, they talk to the dancer, Magnolia. If the MC brings up Will as the possible thief, Magnolia will defend Will, stating their history together as childhood friends before drifting apart. In another ending, Will is able to save the MC from the beast in the woods called the Bastard, a man who basically acts like an unkillable animal and wanders the woods. There is also an event where Will sneaks into the MC's room at night and kind of noncons them. This is a random event.

There are two competitions that occur with the yanderes in the game, one being Jak vs Dijon and the other being Dijon vs Will.

When sleeping with both Jak and Dijon, the two of them will end up attempting to kidnap the MC during the night. Upon waking up, the two will end up forcing the MC to choose one of them. Choosing Dijon ends with Jak attempting to shoot him, with the MC having the choice to push him out of the way, thus getting themselves killed. Otherwise, Dijon will be shot and Jak kidnaps the MC into the forest to noncon them. The MC can run away, causing the Bastard to come and kill Jak. Choosing Jak will cause Dijon to sadly walk away, allowing Jak to take care of the MC. Jak will end up shooting Dijon regardless and once again drag them back to camp to noncon them. Through gun play, I believe the MC can still be shot and killed, and the same bastard ending will still apply.

When interacting with both Dijon and Will, the two of them will end up the MC's room at night. The MC will wake up to the two of them talking at the end of the bed. At first it seems to be some sort of banter, the two insulting each other's ages and their weaknesses before Dijon attempts to take out a gun and kill Will. If the MC warns Will and then takes the gun, they can attempt to shoot as a warning, to which the bullet will miss and end up killing the MC instead, or they will simply threaten them and they will leave. If they don't warn Will, Dijon will end up shooting Will and dragging his dead body out, whereas if you do, Will can end up stabbing and killing Dijon.

As a whole, the game is very well put together and has a lot of features. You can basically date every character except three of them (that being the innkeeper, Mortom and the Bastard), each with it's own CGs and endings, along with various mini games, and an entire cooking and inventory system. On a technical basis, this game is done very well and it is pretty fun running around and doing a lot of these tasks. Still, as much as the individual components are very fun, I feel like there's not really any reason to do any of the mini games for the plot. You can basically ignore the entire portion of it if you are simply just seeing what the character plots would be like, which is kind of unfortunate. The cooking system is supposed to tie in with the stamina system, which is a good idea, but talking to people doesn't deplete stamina, only gathering items. In this way, it feels very disjointed from the rest of the game, as not even stuff like money is really needed to play. I think at least an easy fix for the money system would be similar to how DOL forces the player to pay Bailey, so in this game, you would be forced to pay the innkeeper money for every day that you stay there (which, you know, does make sense if you want to stay at the inn) thereby forcing you to spend time getting money and having to cook food to be able to get energy to make money. Unfortunately with the implementation that I see at least, it seems to be lacking in attempting to make a game play loop with these cool mini games. While it's not the worst thing in the world, I think it does make these minigames kind of pointless since you can basically completely ignore them.

Storywise, while I do think it's very nice that you are able to get more of a solid look at a lot of characters, I do feel like there isn't really anything satisfying for the end of a lot of them. When they are killed, there is no reaction for most of the other characters (with the exception of a handful of them). It's hard to say where certain events will happen unless you have a guide and while there is one on the fandom page, there is none on the itchio or steam page that helps you (which is unfortunate for people like me who generally rely on a walkthrough to try to get everything). I think that was the point of having a lot of characters all with their own story, but I feel like there could have been more to place more of an arc for each them.

Dijion as a yandere is mostly pretty light. He actually is probably the most harmless out of all of them considering that he only really kidnaps the player when sleeping with another character (unless it's with Jak or Will). He seems to delusionally believe that the MC is a sort of "lost sheep", which is why he keeps bringing them back to the barn. It is unfortunate that he doesn't actually end up trying to harm or even properly trap the MC (well, he tries, but they run away again, with seemingly no consequence). He does manage to kill Will in one of the endings, however, it's strange to me that he wasn't able to do so with other characters such as Jak or even any of the other characters that the MC might end up sleeping with. Still, I think I do quite like Dijion as a character, he's very puppy like, similar to a dog herder who is trying to get his sheep back. His running gag of not being able to count (especially when Will calls him out on it) is pretty funny, though I wish it was brought up more.

Jak is probably the most extreme out of the yandere characters considering that he is the most violent and most forceful of the three. When choosing between Jak and Dijon, Jak will outright shoot Dijon if the MC doesn't protect him and he can kill either Magnolia or Jade as well, sending him straight to jail as well as fighting and possibly killing the Bastard in one of the endings. I'm not sure how close he is to his counterpart in Lover's Trophy, but he is very violent in this version, with it often leading to his own detriment, like when he is killed by the Bastard after being taken when choosing between Dijon and him, or when he is jailed for killing either of the girls. He also definitely has a very intimidating presence with the game emphasizing just how tall he is and how generally strong he is. He definitely feels like he fits very well in this type of murder horror type game given his general behavior and intimidating presence.

Will as a yandere generally just stalks the player, and doesn't have nearly as many endings as Jak or Dijion. Still, I do think the scenes we do get give a bigger impression of what he's actually like. From what I've seen, although we generally don't see him in the game, it is implied that he stalks the player quite often, as we see him save the MC from the bastard and sneak into the MC's place at night. Given that he's rather aloof and is uncomfortable with most human interactions, it does make sense that we barely ever see him, only really gaining more insight from Magnolia as the two seem to be friends. I kind of wish that we had more personal encounters with him like maybe hanging out with him with his bone collection (thing), but I do think even with the little information that we do learn about him he's a pretty solid character. Plus if you talk to him wrong, he straight up kills you which is kind of entertaining.

In terms of what I mean by porn game yandere, I basically have to turn again to DOL for this. While I get it's not really fair comparing two of these games as they are going for different things, what I mean in this case is that in general, yanderes are not usually okay with their love interests sleeping with other characters. This usually results in murder of some sort or at least some sort of separation of their lover with the person that they're sleeping with. However, in games like DOL, while Kylar and Eden can get jealous or otherwise kidnap the MC, they aren't allowed to kill the other characters that they sleep with and in essence, the MC can just kind of have a poly relationship with all of the love interests if they want. While I'm not saying poly yanderes can't exist, they generally have certain specifications on how they act (at least in my opinion). Obviously for gameplay wise, if the player is not into any of the yandere characters and ends up sleeping with with by accident or on purpose, it would be a big pain if they ended up murdering or getting rid of the other characters gameplay wise, and considering both of the characters, it also doesn't seem fair to also just exclude them just because you are allowed to sleep with other characters, which is why I kind of call it porn game logic since for the sake of not making the gameplay bad for the player, I will make an exception for it in this context. Anyways, going back to Courtin' Cowboys, while unlike DOL you can have characters killed, they don't usually get that far. A good example is with Jak who is able to kill one of the characters (either Magnolia or Jade if you sleep with them) before getting captured (which is fine). Meanwhile a character like Dijon seems pretty light, having the player sleep with three different characters only leads to Dijon basically telling the player not to get lost again after being kidnapped and Dijon just...letting them go. Will also doesn't have that much yandere actions either considering that outside of the versus, protecting the MC from the bastard and the random encounter of him breaking into the inn and sleeping with you.

Still despite what kind of possible tweaks and missing things I have for Courtin' Cowboys, it is undoubtedly a fun game. There is so much in it that I probably didn't even get to see, plus every time you play you can have a different experience. The customization and general aesthetic of being a cowboy is really nice and the fact that you have all these minigames in the first place is very impressive along with the sheer amount of characters that you can date/interact with is very cool. It's a great entry into the murder sim type genre with a bunch of fun yanderes to boot. If you haven't played it yet, I would highly recommend it.

[lionlena]

I can't be everywhere (No outbreak!Joel Miller x f!reader) ANGST! Part 2

Summary: You knew Joel was a busy man, but you never thought that when you needed him most you would hear, "I can't be everywhere." As if your pain meant nothing. So you decided that you couldn't be everywhere either… You couldn't be in his heart anymore.

Warnings: ANGST, miscarriage, misunderstanding, loss, mourning, broken heart, age gap (17 years), Joel is 45, depression, Joel tries hard, but… He can't show his true emotions…

Part 2

Joel had no self-confidence. He knew it. He might have played the tough guy, but he knew the truth. He was afraid of relationships. Sarah's mother left such a huge hole in his heart that for a long time, he was unable to establish normal relationships with women. At first, he thought it was better this way. He focused on raising his daughter.

Joel was selfish. He hid it behind the statement that he had to care for his daughter and help his brother. But he knew the truth. He did what was comfortable for him and didn't think about the feelings of the other women. He started dating women when Sarah was older and needed less attention. He selfishly used women to satisfy his needs. Most often they were short-lived affairs for him. Sometimes just for one night. He didn't give any woman false hopes for something more serious, so he had no remorse.

He stayed longer with a woman named Tess. But only because he was comfortable with her. Tess was younger than him, but not as significantly as you. She was in a similar situation to Joel. She was a divorcee, raised a teenage son on her own, had her own business, and worked hard. And this arrangement seemed perfect to him. He saw Tess whenever he needed to. Sometimes he stayed overnight with her, and sometimes she stayed with him. They were together, although neither of them planned to make it official. And then suddenly it fell apart… And two months later he met you.

At first, he tried to stay away from you. However, he couldn't help but glance at you. There was something attractive about you. He saw how you treated other people with kindness. He noticed that despite your young age, you were very responsible and weren't the party type. And he loved your laugh. God, how he loved your laugh. He could be busy drilling holes and he would still recognize your laughter. Even Tommy noticed that his brother had a crush on you and casually told Joel one day.

"Her name is Y/N and if I understand correctly, she is single."

Joel looked at him in surprise and grunted, "So what? I don't care."

"Yeah, sure… I'm just saying."

Two weeks later, he saved you when you locked yourself in the bathroom and he was able to say your name out loud for the first time. And when he looked into your beautiful eyes that looked at him with gratitude, he felt like a knight who saved the princess and then it happened… Joel Miller fell in love… And he really wanted to be with you. Being with you was like a breath of fresh air to him. He felt younger around you, and at the same time, he didn't feel any pressure from you to be someone else. He saw that you fully accepted him and he was happy. So much so that he wanted to have you even closer to him. He wanted to see you every morning and evening.

And you were so sweet to him. Before he knew it, he was already used to home-cooked meals, your massages, and shared showers. And he was selfish again. He didn't notice that he was taking away your youth, that he was turning you into a housewife. He told himself that's what you wanted. He stopped thanking you for dinners and all the other little things you did for him. He thought it was a part of you.

Everything was going perfectly. Everything was set and stable and Joel wanted nothing more and that was the problem. Joel didn't want to change ANYTHING. So the news of your pregnancy turned his sense of stability upside down. After all, he was a responsible man, so he wasn't going to abandon you. But he couldn't drive away the shadows that appeared around him. Even though he didn't show it to you, he was panicking. And for many reasons. He knew that the baby would change everything, that HE would have to change. But he didn't know if he would be able to. He was also worried that having a child would be too much for you, even though he saw that you weren't like Sarah's mother. He was worried about money, about your health, about… So many things that he just couldn't feel joy.

He knew that avoiding you was stupid and that it wouldn't change anything. He had to come to terms with the idea of becoming a dad for the second time. He didn't want to let you down, and yet he didn't know how to change.

The day you called him to tell him your belly hurt, he felt a twinge of fear. When you finished talking, he felt guilty. What if his dislike for this child and lack of joy caused a curse? He even stopped the car on the side of the road and considered turning around, but… Joel Miller was a coward and decided to distort reality. He figured that if he didn't turn back, nothing bad would happen. And then everything got even worse. He was distracted and left his phone in the car. When Tommy asked him for car keys because he wanted to go pick up some building supplies, Joel didn't think twice. Only later did he realize his stupidity. You might want to contact him. When Tommy finally returned, Joel immediately checked his phone. Three missed calls from you and one text message… The content of the message was etched in his chest. He had to lean on the car to keep from falling over.

His brother's voice seemed muffled.

"Jo… Bro, what happened?"

When he could finally take a deeper breath, he croaked.

"Y/N is in the hospital… I think it's about the baby…"

Tommy sighed heavily, not sure how to react. He saw how reluctant Joel was to the idea of having another child, but he hoped that his brother would come to his senses and change his mind, but it was too late.

"You should go to her."

"She definitely hates me."

Tommy snorted and grabbed his brother's arm.

"Sometimes I can't believe you're the older one. Even if she hates you now, your ass should be in the hospital… It was your baby too!"

Joel took a step back and felt the sting of tears in his eyes.

"I know…"

His brother softened a bit.

"Shall I take you to her?"

He shook his head and gripped his keys tighter, then got into the car. All the way to the hospital he kept telling himself that he had to be strong. He wanted to be your support, but… The moment he saw you in the hospital bed… So vulnerable, dressed in a terrible salmon hospital gown, his heart sank. You didn't deserve this. You didn't deserve all this suffering and an asshole boyfriend like him. He felt like he let you down. Instead of focusing on your suffering, he fell into self-blame.

So when you woke up, he didn't know what to do. He thought that just hugging you would be enough. He hoped this gesture would let you know how sorry he was. But Joel was a fool.

And when you asked, "Why weren't you with me?" he felt as if all his worst fears had come true.

You hated him. It was obvious. He left you when you needed him the most. He felt like he was going to fall apart and start crying like a baby. So he did what he always did when he felt like this, he put on a tough guy pose and answered back with the sentence that hurt you so much.

"I can't be everywhere."

And, the moment those words left his mouth, he realized how he had screwed up. How could he be such an asshole to blame you? But he couldn't take it back. When you said you wanted to sleep, he thought it was the perfect excuse to retreat and run away.

Joel Miller was selfish again. He wanted to protect his heart and his feelings without understanding how much he hurt you. But when he returned home, he felt empty… He walked into the bedroom on heavy legs, and when he saw a blood stain on the sheet, he fell apart. He fell to the floor and started crying like a baby.

How could he do this to you? He didn't deserve you, your kindness and love, but he couldn't let go of you. When he calmed down, he decided to clean up and then he had a brilliant idea. He decided that the best way to survive this crisis was to downplay the significance of the tragedy. Yes. He decided that he needed to help you get back to normal life as soon as possible. There was no point in despairing any longer.

A tragedy had befallen you, but he couldn't change anything.

The problem was that his plan didn't work. For the next few days, he was only met with your indifference. No matter how nice he was, you didn't respond in any way. His idealized relationship disappeared like a mirage. There were no more warm dinners, sweet kisses, and joyful smiles.

When he saw you lying on the couch, eyes glued to the TV, he felt guilt consume him. He even started to want you to react in any way. He would even prefer you to scream at him, throw plates at him, cry, but… You were just like a ghost. A ghost that haunted him and reminded him of how he had screwed up.

When he came home and didn't see you on the couch, he was naively happy at first. He thought you were finally feeling better. Maybe you were reading a book in the bedroom and waiting for him… Or taking a shower… Then it slowly dawned on him that something was wrong. It was too empty and too quiet.

"Y/N!"

Joel looked into the bedroom, the bathroom, and even to Sarah's room.

"Y/N, baby, where are you?!"

He finally walked into the kitchen and found a note from you. He read it once… Second, third… Tenth time… And he didn't understand anything. He felt like you had ripped his heart out. First, he felt anger and even thoughts appeared in his mind: Well, let her go… But it quickly disappeared…

He started to panic because he suddenly realized how much he loved you. He took out his phone and tried to call you, but you didn't answer. He tried again and again… Finally, with trembling hands, he texted you:

'Babe… I know I deserve it and that you're hurt, but please, at least write that you're okay. I want you to be safe… I love you.'

He didn't even care that his message sounded desperate. For the first time in a long time, he wasn't ashamed to admit his feelings. He took a bottle of beer and sat on the couch with a piece of paper in his hand. He focused on the words: … for a while. He clung to these few words so tightly that he didn't want to pay attention to the rest. He wanted to cling to the hope that it wasn't too late… He wanted to believe that you would come back to him, after some time… * It was a long drive from Austin to Florida, so halfway you decided to stop and sleep at a motel. You even started to regret not taking the plane, but you were so desperate that you couldn't think straight. When you threw yourself on the crappy bed with a groan, you decided to check your phone. Throughout the trip, you consistently ignored checking to see if Joel had called you. When you saw a few calls from him and a text message, it made you feel better on one hand. At least he was thinking about you. When you read his message, you were shocked. It didn't sound like, Joel… Did he realize his mistake? But on the other hand, it also sounded a bit infantile, as if you had argued over something trivial, and not lost a child. But you knew it would be unrealistic to expect a long essay from someone like Joel. He just wasn't that type. You sighed and rolled onto your back, your phone raised above your head. Part of you wanted to be mean and not text him back. You wanted to leave him in suspense, but… It just wasn't fair. You believed his concern for you in that moment was genuine. So you bit your lip and replied:

'I'm okay.'

Almost immediately, your phone started ringing. You rejected Joel's call and in half a minute there was another message.

'Where are you? Can we talk?'

You snorted and were about to use obscene words, but you stayed calm.

'On the way to Florida. I don't want to talk.' * Joel's heart trembled when he read your message. Florida?! It almost sounded like the North Pole. He was counting on you being somewhere closer, that he could just get in the car and drive to you. His hands began to shake as he wrote another message. Although he wasn't sure he wanted to know the answer.

'For how long?'

When he got your answer, he felt as if someone had poured a bucket of ice water on him.

'I don't know, for a month, for two… forever.'

He felt like screaming. He was angry with you. Yes, he knew he was the one who screwed up, but if you had at least let him talk to you. He decided to approach you from a slightly different angle and let some of his anger flow out of him.

'What about your job, what about our lives, what about your things… Everything?' * You groaned in annoyance when you saw his message. This is cold old Joel who calculates everything. As if emotions played no role. You waited a few minutes and sent him another message.

'I can do my job remotely, and if not, I will find a new one. Apparently, only I cared about our life together. And my things… You can pack them up and throw them in the basement!'

Then you put your head under the pillow and turned off your phone. You had enough. * Joel sighed deeply as he read your message and realized that he had screwed up again. He just didn't know what he was doing wrong… How could he fix it? He went to the bedroom and grabbed your sweatshirt from the locker. Then he lay down on the bed and pressed his nose into the soft material. He certainly wasn't going to throw your stuff into the basement. Your things were the last thing that gave him hope that he wasn't completely alone because of him acting like a dick. * When you reached your friend, Maddie, you felt a sense of relief… Momentary peace. For a moment, it seemed as if all the bad things were behind you. All the pain, suffering, and loss no longer affected you, but that was just an illusion. When Maddie hugged you and told you she was sorry for your loss, you broke down and started crying. No matter how much you tried to downplay your loss, it hurt just as much as it did in the hospital when Joel left you.

Once you calmed yourself, you two sat down together on the floor in her living room and opened a bottle of wine. You started talking. You could finally let it all out. At one point Maddie said:

"God… What a terrible guy! That's what it's like with these older guys. They expect…"

"Do not say that!"

Your outburst of anger surprised both you and her.

"What?"

You took a long sip of wine and tried to hold back the tears.

"Joel is not a monster… Yes, he let me down and… Maybe our relationship isn't perfect, but… Our relationship wasn't just a failure. When he held me in his arms when we cuddled on the couch… Life with him was pleasant and his age didn't change that…"

You couldn't stop crying anymore and the first tears rolled down your cheeks. Maddie frowned and muttered.

"You… Do you still love him?"

You closed your eyes and sighed heavily. It was obvious. You couldn't just kill this love.

"Yes," you whispered.

"And yet you left him."

You opened your eyes and your friend saw deep pain.

"It's just… Sometimes you can't be everywhere." *

Tag list: @fahemzzz @picketniffler @elliaze @txtattoostark @this--is--music @anavatazes @simplyreading96 @o-sacra-virgo-laudes-tibi @southernbe @sarahhxx03 @noisynightmarepoetry @jasminedragoon @pedromousposts @joeldjarin

Permanentny tag list: @harriedandharassed

Part 1

Part 3

[hyperlexichypatia]

can you elaborate on why you don't think nursing homes should exist? I'm genuinely curious, not trying to engage in bad faith, but i do feel like many elders do need a level of medical care that can't be provided well in a home environment, and benefit socially from being surrounded by their peers. is it more a matter of eliminating the huge staff-"client"(-billpayer, generally a younger relative) power differentials and potential for abuse that exists there, the way nursing homes tend to be relatively isolated from the surrounding community & many restrict certain freedoms, or is there something else more inherent to the structure (i.e., incapable of being reformed or mitigated) that I'm missing? i guess i'm wondering how different a more just model for elder care would look from nursing homes

Yeah, it's everything you said -- nursing homes inherently restrict their residents' freedoms (how many would pass the burrito test?), don't see the residents as the decision-making clients, infantilize and segregate their residents, etc.

As for socializing with their peers, if older disabled people lived among the general population, they could still socialize with other older disabled people if they wanted to, and also with younger people, abled people, and others. "This population that has been systemically excluded from society should live among themselves in a congregate setting so they can socialize" isn't a particularly good argument for nursing homes; it's an argument against the ageist/ableist segregation that exists in the rest of society.

Could nursing homes be reformed/mitigated? I mean, I'm a strong harm reductionist; I believe every harmful institution should be reformed and mitigated as much as possible. That might mean more freedom for residents, more privacy for residents, more transportation to and from other places in the community. But if a nursing home were "reformed" to the point that it was no longer harmful -- if it no longer exerted coercive control over its residents, if its residents had the same freedom and privacy and autonomy and freedom of movement as anyone in the outside world -- it would functionally cease to be a "nursing home" and would just be... well, an apartment building. Or, if it's an apartment building specifically for older disabled people, without the coercive control, a "retirement community" (although sometimes coercive-control nursing homes are also called "retirement communities" so who knows?).

Home and community based services for disabled people, if properly funded, can replicate most of the assistance a nursing home provides -- now, I do say most, but people who need multiple-times-a-day medical care from a medical provider might choose a living situation that involves specific proximity to medical care. That doesn't mean a nursing home; it might mean, for example, an apartment building near a hospital that caters to people undergoing regular treatment. But it's important that many nursing home residents don't need daily medical care from medical providers. They they need accessible assistance with activities of daily living, which can easily be made accessible outside a medicalized setting, and, in particular, without the coercive control of a nursing home.

Or, short version (sorry, I have a fever) -- the problem with nursing homes is the coercive control. Fund home and community based services. Hire CNAs and install accessible features in the homes of disabled people who need them with the money governments and families can save by abolishing nursing homes. Not everyone in a nursing home is there because they need medical treatment, but even for those who do, there are ways to situate housing and medical needs in proximity to each other that don't involve residents being forcibly drugged or given a bedtime or needing permission to have sex. Let Grandpa fuck (if he wants to).

[spyroforlife]

I've had further Emberlynn Pinkle thoughts

I think the best possible life for her in Hell. is for her to become a goddamn Overlord

Because wouldn't that just be so fitting. That the person who writes over the top fanfics, who probably makes her characters utter Mary Sues (affectionate) who are amazing and powerful and beloved, actually HERSELF becomes a person of power and status in her afterlife

I like to envision her becoming the Overlord of Smut

She gets herself a real nice headquarters, something like a combined library and apartment building, where those who sold their souls to her can live and be taken care of. They've got Internet, they've got food, and you've got the whole big library and lounge area down on the first floor!!

BUT. If she owns your soul. You're gonna work too. Helping out with the Hell-exclusive version of AO3 she created, of course! Responding to support tickets. Tag wrangling. Doing other admin work. Tech support. You get to have your own account too of course and you get extra features, so you can make your own fics even better~ It's very much encouraged for her employees to be fic writers

And she just makes money from demons donating to her entirely because they love her site full of filthy stories, and they want to be able to continue reading and posting their own fics. Non-employees get more basic accounts but there's still plenty they can do.

This isn't even treading on Valentino's toes. It's just written stuff. It's not using real people, there's nothing being filmed. So in Val's eyes, it's two different industries. He does the live action stuff. Hers is meant to be read. So he doesn't really care, and in fact peruses the site himself for inspiration.

I could see him having a deal with her where if he likes a fic idea, she'll get him in touch with whoever wrote it and help negotiate the person allowing Val to use the idea, in return for some of the profits. Emberlynn and the writer of course split their share, and this is all laid out in the site's TOS. As you can imagine, this does attract demons intentionally trying to get Val's approval with their writing, and those guys are seen as squares, but like. Can't really stop them.

Everyone just generally posts what they like and ignores shit that annoys them. And yeah, massively popular website, ran by Emberlynn and her followers, and their headquarters is often visited by others who just wanna hang out and talk about their own writing.

They sell snacks and stuff to guests, and hey, if you like this and want to be part of their exclusive club.. go talk to the boss lady Emberlynn and she'll get you alll set up.

yea idk. Overlord Emberlynn y'all

oh yeah and of course her powers get stronger as she gains souls, idk what all she'll be able to do exactly but I know for sure she can fly, and I can also see her being an emotion reader who specializes in sensing people's turn-ons, which she can use to direct them to the writers she thinks they'll like the most :D she might also be able to mildly hypnotize people using pheromones or something idk. just throwing ideas around haha Emberlynn is fun and I hope she lives her best monsterfucker life in Hell

[hype-blue-fixation]

SFW Lee/Ler Alastor Tickle Headcannons (Because they are plaguing my mind and I will not be able to do homework until they're out.) warning that some of these might be slightly intense?? So yur :>

LER

He loves being an overly playful and extremely teasy ler. It depends on his mood and he can switch it up in a heartbeat.

His favorite teases (to give and receive) are related to power dynamics, eating someone, or metaphorically killing them.

His favorite spots to tease are ribs, bellies, necks, and spines.

Most of the time he sticks to using claws, teeth, and tongue to tickle. But occasionally he will venture to use feathers, brushes, or knives. Only if the lee is comfortable, of course.

He loves a vocal lee. Giggle, scream, choke on your own laughs. He'll eat it all up.

He notices everything. He comments on everything. Radio is audio only, after all. How will anyone know what a precious lee is doing unless he announces it?

Constantly fishes for feedback from his lee. If they express being genuinely uncomfortable or use a safe word, he will immediately back off and give them space. But he will make fun of it later (unless his lee specifically asks him not to joke about it) just to be a playful pester. "Last time I tickled you, you had to use our safe word! I'm just soooo terrible, aren't I~?"

Makes DIRECT eye contact. CONSTANTLY.

Will baby talk a lee into oblivion.

Nonchalantly says flustering things and drops t-word bombs in casual conversations.

Makes fun of people's fluster topics. "What do you mean, you can't say 'tickle'? I'll say it for you! Tickle tickle tickle~!", "Oh, you're ticklish behind the knees? That's such a nonsensical place, darling!"

Loves demanding clear sentences when he's in the middle of tickling someone senseless.

He loves breaking a bratty lee with spider soft tickles and flustery teases. It's so satisfying to see them lose control~

Cracks the dumbest jokes to make his lee laugh before he even touches their body. He calls it "tenderizing" them.

He only dishes out teases that he would also enjoy, so it's not uncommon for him to fluster himself to pieces.

LEE

Tickles a ler to provoke them to tickle back.

Purposely puts himself in vulnerable positions to invite a ler to tickle him. Such as sitting with his body twisted to leave his ribs open, or practically putting his arm/neck in their face when reaching across them.

100% a masochistic lee. He will purposely keep his arms up and twist to give his ler the best access to his tickle spots.

He is a very vocal and dramatic lee. Volume settings are loud and louder.

He will quip, tease, and provoke his ler as long as he has breath. They need to know he always gets the last word.

Loves silly jokes and other dumb things. Like if Lucifer tickled him while wearing a duck suit, man would absolutely crack up and double die before he was even touched.

His favorite "tools" are claws, teeth, tongue, and knives. Basically anything dangerous or related to eating.

The more a ler promises him something will hurt or make him fall apart, the more excited and anticipated he gets.

His favorite spots are the belly, neck, forearms, and ears. Especially really soft tickles. He will absolutely melt.

While he loves intense rough tickling, soft tickles will always be his favorite. They make him think of his Mama doing "kittytails" when he got too overstimulated as a kid. They make him extremely giggly and affectionate.

Tickling is his primary way of bonding in a relationship. If he invites/asks you to tickle him, that means he genuinely wants an emotional connection and doesn't just see you as a toy.

Honestly I will probably think of more, so consider this part 1 of God knows how many.

Also have some bratty lee headcannons here if you want them.

[vani-ash]

Kim meets Porchay while Chay is working his minimum wage job in fast food or something, he instantly finds Chay adorable and keeps going back to Chay's work, trying to talk to him/work up the courage to ask him on a date. Kim is so down bad, he even gets a job there. It's disgusting and Kim lasts exactly 1 hour, but in that time he manages to ask Chay on a date.

During that time Kim worked in the kitchen, and he was okay making the food until he realized the deep fryers were messing with his hair and his skin started to feel disgusting so he kept complaining and not wanting to go near the deep fryers, he was then moved to try working the cash registers, but he couldn't handle having to be nice and eventually Chay had to stop him from jumping over the counter to fight a rude customer.

Eventually Kim manages to get a date with Chay, their first date is low-key and easy, they go see a movie or something easy. They easily talk and get closer.

Then Kim decides he wants to take Chay out on a really fancy and nice date so he sets up a reservation for one of his families fancy restaurants, and on the way there in the car Chay is like, 'why are we going to the fancy part of town?'

And Kim's like 'oh I wanted to take you somewhere nice'

and Chay's like "I hope it's not one of those fancy restaurants where everyone is all dressed up I can't stand rich people"

Kim breaks out into a sweat 'What.'

Chay starts going on a whole rant about how he hates all rich people and eat the rich and whatever,

and then Kim has to find a way to tell Chay how they are going to one of those fancy rich restaurant and when they get there, and they are served quickly and Chay can see all the staff giving him a look as he isn't dressed right for the restaurant but Kim tells him to ignore them,

But Chay gets kinda suspicious and is like why are they being so nice to you? omg are you one of those rich people?

Kim has to make up some lie about how he won the reservation in a contest or something, and Chay believes him, for the moment.

And then when they order food the menu is all in English or French or some other language and Chay cant read it so he starts making fun of rich people and Kim's is like yeah haha I also definitely have no idea what this menu says…

Chay has to use the bathroom and the waiter comes while Chay is gone so Kim just orders what he thinks Chay would like, he also orders a really expensive and fancy wine.

When it comes Chay is like is this part of the contest too? Because he knows from Porsche that the wine is expensive, and Kim has to be like uhhhh yeah it's part of the contest don't worry

Anyway they get their food and start eating and Chay is making fun of all the cutlery and is like who even needs this much cutlery omg rich people are so stupid lmao and Kim is like yeah ha ha, but in his mind he is dying cause there is no way he is going to be able to pretend he is poor forever he could barely handle an hour in a minimum wage job,

What if he wanted to invite Chay to his place? Where do poor people live? Does he need to buy a run down apartment complex? and Chay hadn't questioned Kim on his car cause Kim only access to one of his cars at the moment which was thankfully his most normal one but did that mean Kim wouldn't be able to drive any of his fancy cars with Chay?

Anyway Kim uses the wrong cutlery on purpose to match Chay and not expose himself as rich but for some reason Kinn is also in the restaurant that night.

Kinn sees Kim eating with the wrong cutlery, and he just HAS to get up and come over to Kim, and he just starts going on this whole thing about how Kim is acting like a savage for using the wrong cutlery and how Kim is embarrassing himself and then Kinn also noticed Kim is dressed in like jeans and goes on about that too, the whole time Kim is just glaring at Kinn trying to telepathically communicate that if Kinn fucks this up for him he will be sicking Thankhun on Kinn.

Somehow, Kinn never reveals that they are related despite thinking Kims death glare was just his normal face, In Chays mind he thinks a random rich guy came up to them and started lecturing them about proper dining etiquette unprompted.

Once Kinn leaves and Chay is like 'omg this is why I hate rich people, they always think they are better than everyone else, promise me if you win another contest not to take me to another fancy restaurant.'

Anyway, Kim spends months pretending he is poor, for the first few months he just always insist they go to Chay's instead of his. But then he does end up buying a run down apartment complex, and even when he gets to pick the nicest apartment in the building its still horrible. He tries to make it look lived in but he doesn't really know what to put in it that a poor person would have so he leaves it mostly unfurnished.

Anyway because of all this Chay thinks Kim is even poorer than him and so Chay always insists on paying for Kim on dates (when Kim manages to pay before him Chay gets upset cause he thinks Kim is spending too much on him that he should really be keeping for himself!), or he'll buy Kim like little trickets and things or something but then Kim keeps all of Chay's gifts at his actual apartment so Chay thinks Kim keeps getting robbed or something.

Eventually Chay finds out Kim is rich and he does not take it well.

But once they work it out and get back together Chay takes full advantage of Kim's eagerness to buy everything he wants but to Chay that just means like being able to order more then one thing or something other than the cheapest item at a restaurant,

while still pretending to be poor Kim gets Chay like designer clothes or really nice jewelry or something for Chay's birthday and Chay lowkey thinks Kim is either a really good thief or a scam artist or something but also he's into it

[atlasblue85]

ok i haven't made a person post in 5000 years but im losing my mind thinking about this and i can't contain it and i haven't seen anyone else talking about it

in the most recent episode when Armand and Louis are talking in Louis's apartment and Louis gets frustrated about only being able to make fire when he's angry, Armand tells him "I try and find the vulnerability within the object" and like that's just it, isn't it? that's his whole fucking character right there in one kind of throw away line.

And if you take that and apply it to his observation from earlier in the season, "that boy we met in San Francisco, he's still in there and we can find him" like!!!!! it's the same fucking picture your honor

All Armand does is look for the vulnerability and exploit it. He's had the thoughts of changing the coven but he could never say them himself so he lets Lestat come in and do it. "You brought him there so he could destroy it." Armand never gets his hands dirty, he just finds the vulnerability and exploits it by letting something else do the dirty work for him whether it be Lestat or Louis or fire. When the coven goes on the hunt he finds this party full of wealthy people living in luxury while the majority of the country is in post war poverty and he uses that to justify them being killed but also exploits the sentiments of the coven, knowing they'll do the work for him. He doesn't even go inside, barely even glances as they destroy the place.

But ALSO in this scene, he and Louis smoke their cigarettes outside and they both use lighters to light them. Armand isn't showing his full hand yet, he's drawn to Louis but doesn't fully trust him. He doesn't show him that until later, when he's more sure Louis feels the same about him. I think there's another scene then when Louis uses a lighter but Armand doesn't.

Then later we see that scene with Louis struggling with the candle and he says the thing about only being able to do it when he's angry, and then we only see him do it when he's angry. There he's angry because Lestat is invading again, but also angry that he's still being pressured about the coven. When he sets his pictures on fire he's angry about the rejection from the art dealer and then angry at Claudia.

Then there's the final scene on the bench in the rain. He's just allowed Lestat to disappear as Armand approaches, after telling Lestat he's going to break things off with Armand. Maybe it's a lie just for Lestat but I think there's at least some truth to it, some part of him that's going to, but then Armand starts confiding in him, and he realizes he has him completely.

"I used to be real good at running things" followed immediately by "I'm a little wet" he doesn't even ask Armand to put up the umbrella Armand just does it because he told Louis about his past and now Louis has found his vulnerable point and knows how to use it. So then he hands Armand a cigarette and Armand tells him he wants him and Louis calls him Arun and Armans calls him Maitre. He knows it's over now, he's not angry he's in complete and total control so he lights Armand's cigarette first and then his own, and then throws his lighter away.

THAT is the moment so far, to me, where Louis comes into his own as a vampire. Here's this 500 year old master manipulator and Louis has him wrapped around his finger. Find the vulnerability within the fucking object. God.

[gabessquishytum]

Human AU! More asexual Dream agenda. Morpheus used to question his sexuality in his late teens and contemplated that he might be somewhere on the asexual spectrum. It seemed fine to him back then, that is, until he realized how much he didn't fit in when all the relationships his peers had seemed to revolve around sex. So, Morpheus started dating, went out with a few guys, but it died out naturally after a few dates because he refused to have sex. Eventually, he meets Calliope at the uni, and he's really in love and determined to do anything to make this work. They finally have sex, and...it's nothing spectacular. Morpheus just doesn't get why people seem to prioritize it so much (like, how can his friend Cori dedicate so much time to fucking his way through London when there're so many more interesting things to do? reading, for instance!). Anyway, as time goes by, Morpheus tries to really grasp this whole sexual aspect of relationship but it just evades him. He watches porn (it does nothing for him, but he switches on a video every now and then for educational purposes - maybe he'll see something that Calliope might like), tries his fair share of sex toys (some of them are nice, alright, but...cuddling in the blanket is nicer, still?), and comes to a spectacular conclusion that something is very wrong with him. After all, it's him who doesn't meet normal expectations. To make things worse, he starts to notice that Calliope avoids having sex with him (she's tired after work, has a headache, isn't in the mood, etc., and this goes on and on for weeks that turn into months), becomes more distant, and they slowly drift apart. It's a matter of time till they break up. Morpheus takes this as his personal failure, concentrates on his work, even goes to therapy, though he sabotages it before he can actually spell out that he thinks he's asexual, and...he doesn't date. Like, at all. Why set himself for another failure and disappointment? Enter Hob Gadling. They meet accidentally (or not so accidentally, if you ask Hob's elder sister), and Hob is smitten from the word go. He pursues Morpheus insistently yet never creepy; he is, in fact, very understanding and accommodating, and even though Morpheus bristled like a sad wet cat at first (and at second, too), he can't deny anymore that he's in love. He's scared shitless to fuck this up over sex again, but somehow, Hob manages to do the unthinkable: he puts Morpheus at ease. He figures out Morpheus is ace early on, and he's fine with wanking by himself till the end of time if his partner never ever wants to tumble in bed. There're other intimacies to be shared, they also matter! Morpheus doesn't believe him at first, but with time (and lots of cuddles), he cautiously accepts that this may be true. With sex no longer an obligation in his Google calendar, Morpheus even feels attraction...sometimes. It's a rare occasion, but Morpheus is shocked when he experiences it for the first time: he's never truly felt a desire before, and letting go feels scary. Hob is there for him and feels delighted to gently guide him in this exploration. And when Morpheus doesn't want anything sexual, which is most of the time? Hob's still happy with his magnificent husband, their Netflix evenings, disastrous baking, long romantic walks, endless literature discussions, and his right hand.

Gosh, i love this!!! Love the idea that Dream being able to change his perception of sex because it no longer feels like a chore or something that he's been forced into doing (by societal expectations). Mostly he's still not interested but occasionally if he does get a stirring of attraction or desire, he can plop himself down in Hob’s lap and be his pillow princess for an hour or two.

Calliope is probably the happiest person when she sees how content Dream is these days. She and Dream can be good friends (now Dream isn't psyching himself up to have sex with her, and she isn't just constantly getting the vibe that her husband doesn't want her). It's much nicer to have coffee and gossip.

And Dream gets to go home to his husband. Maybe they'll take a shower together, or dance around the kitchen and have a midnight feast. And they'll go to sleep after making out until their lips are sore. Dream will feel no expectations, except the expectation of Hob’s love. That is absolutely guaranteed.

[dark-frosted-heart]

Book of Memories ~ Clavis, Jin, and Sariel ~

Card story

As usual, can’t guarantee 100% accuracy on this.

Clavis gets bullied

BOOM!

AAAAAHHHHHH!

(Ah...There goes two down a hole.)

Since coming to court, the sounds of explosions and screams have become apart of my daily life. Amazed by how adaptable people are, I stopped reading and headed toward the nose.

Jin: Are you two hurt?

The knights came out of the hole with the help of Jin. Besides them was Clavis, who was probably the one that dug the pit, and Sariel, whose brows were furrowed. Just an everyday sight.

Knight 1: Fortunately, the hole was filled with cushions so I'm fine. How about you?

Knight 2: Same. Thanks for your help.

Jin: I just lent a hand while you two were climbing out.

Clavis: You two must have cooled off now after falling down the hole. I'll see you two tomorrow.

Knights: Yes sir.

(Were the knights arguing?)

(An underhanded method to get them to make up, but it's expected from Clavis.)

Sariel: Prince Clavis will fill this hole up by himself. Everyone else can go about your own business.

Knights: Understood! Excuse us!

(Wow, they look so happy...)

I approach the three, as if replacing the knights that just hurried off.

Clavis: Emma, did you come to see who got caught in my trap? Unfortunately you're too late.

Emma: Actually, I thought I'd come help whoever fell in the pit.

Jin: Most people would stay away to avoid getting dragged in to trouble, but you're so sweet. I'll give you some candy for being a good girl. Here, give me your hand.

Emma: Thank you.

I hold my hand out and he gives me a lollipop. Sariel clears his throat and I’m pretty sure the increased tension’s not a part of my imagination.

Sariel: Prince Clavis, you already made a pit trap yesterday, didn’t you? Are you planning to unlevel this beautiful garden?

Clavis: It looks like our dear bureaucrat's vision is deteriorating so why don't I show you? Look at where I filled up a hole yesterday. It's as beautiful as it was before I dug it up. No unevenness here.

Emma: Wait, you're pointing at my feet. Did you dig a pit here yesterday?!

Jin: It's true that it's pretty level here. You're not just a master digger, but a master filler too.

Sariel: Prince Jin, please don't encourage him. He'll get carried away.

Jin: Getting carried away's a problem, but the hole's been nicely filled. Isn't that okay?

Clavis: Jin really is a wonderful older brother and partner in crime. I'll make some sweets for you next time.

Jin: I'll pass since Yves' making sweets. How about you make something as an apology to Sariel?

Sariel: If you'd like to know what it's like to step on thin ice, then by my guest. You don't feel sorry at all.

Clavis: Are you expecting me to?

Sariel: ...

Emma: S-Sariel, please don't be angry. If you furrow your brows any further, you won't be able to get rid of the wrinkles.

Jin: If he can't get rid of them, I'll teach him how to massage them out.

Sariel: We should deal with the source of the wrinkles first.

Jin: Think you can do it?

(I don't think so...)

Clavis returns the stares with a proud smile and Sariel quietly pinches his brows.

Sariel: Intelligence increases with age, but I wish that his ability with traps remained that of a child's. Seriously.

Emma: As expected, he wasn't as powerful as a kid.

Jin: If he was this powerful as a kid, the castle would've been repaired more than 10 times over.

Emma: The thought of it is terrifying.

Sariel: There's no charm in falling into a trap you set yourself.

Emma: Own trap?

Clavis: Oi, why'd you just say something like that to Emma? You did it on purpose, didn't you?

Sariel: Just some divine punishment.

Jin: That's quite a promotion from bureaucrat.

Clavis: Emma, forget what you heard. That's just a false memory of Sariel's.

Emma: Did you get caught in your own trap, Clavis?

Clavis: I've never seen you smile without any reservation or care like that before.

Jin: It was such a failure. I think it was his first time setting such a big trap.

Sariel: Yes, the trap suddenly malfunctioned and went off before it could be stopped.

Jin: The impact caused Clavis to slip, grab our clothes, and drag us into the pond together with a plop.

~~Flashback start~~

Sariel: You've done it now.

Jin: Hey, your glare's making Clavis cry.

Clavis: *sniff* I'm just pretending to cry. I'm just great at acting, okay! Damn it...Me, a genius, made this trap. I'm frustrated, but I'll definitely succeed next time. I'll keep going at it until I do!

Sariel: You caused so much trouble for others, yet you don't regret it at all?

Clavis: Eek

Jin: Hey, hey, don't actually make him cry. It's just child's play, isn't it?

Sariel: It's never too late to nip evil in the bud.

Jin: Clavis, run! Sariel's serious!

Clavis: Run away!

Sariel: Hold it!

~~Flashback end~~

(Wow, I can just imagine it.)

Jin: As you get older, you want to reminisce.

Clavis: About people's failures?

Jin: It's a precious memory for me. There was some commotion after that and I didn't have time to rest.

Emma: I'm sorry Clavis, but I'd love to hear about your lovely memories too.

Clavis: If my own shame can make someone else happy...It can't be helped. I'll allow it.

Sariel: Emma, would you like to hear about another memory?

Clavis: We're ending it there!

Jin: Your tolerance went away in an instant.

Sariel: Fufu, must be a dark past he wants to forget about.

(It's rare to see Clavis so flustered.)

Suddenly, a casual question out of curiosity springs up.

(Sariel was Clavis' teacher, wasn't he?)

(He's probably the one that got to see the evolution of traps up close.)

(Even if they've improved over time, I think they could've been prevented in the first place...)

Sariel: At any rate, this trap was a little crude, even for you.

(Hm...?)

Sariel: I think you were pressed for time because there was too much room for just two men.

Clavis: You got a good eye. To begin with, I didn't have enough time to prepare. It would've been better to string them up.

Jin: But you'd need a tree large enough to hold two knights. It'd be hard to lure them to the right place, wouldn't it? Then how about-

(This...I've never seen this before)

It was unheard of for Sariel to start evaluating traps while in the middle of a lecture. And after hearing Jin's suggestion, started adding on to the ideas for new traps. Apparently I was unaware of the fact that this was part of the trio's daily life.

(So, rather than Sariel failing to prevent traps, he's just not trying to.)

(Then why...)

One question's answered and another pops up in its place.

Clavis: ...

(Ah...)

For a moment, Clavis' eyes softened. That expression...

Clavis: Emma

Suddenly, our eyes meet when he calls my name and he pokes my cheek after closing the distance between us.

Clavis: You've got that smile on your face again. You've been thinking about me, haven't you?

Emma: Yes... I wanted to know more about your childhood memories, Clavis.

I unconsciously gave an answer different from what I had in mind, but it wasn't a lie. My reply made Sariel's smile widen and his shoulders shook slightly.

Sariel: How about I prepare for you the finest memories?

Jin: I won't lose to you.

Clavis: Those memories are all going to be related to my failures, aren't they.

Jin and Sariel: Of course.

Clavis: You two do nothing but harass me.

Jin: A big brother's love for his little brother.

Sariel: A teacher's love for his apprentice.

The looks of disapproval on Clavis' face makes us laugh out loud. There's no longer any traces of tension or lectures. Instead, a pleasant air seems to surround us.

(Jin and Sariel sound like they're joking, but they must be speaking the truth.)

(When I looked a Clavis just now, for the first time, I thought he was like a little brother.)

Clavis' relaxed expression showed me the happiness and trust that he couldn't hide.

(That's an expression you can only see when he's with the two of them.)

The relationship among the three revealed through traps warmed my heart.

[merrybloomwrites]

You Can Start a Family (Extra: Mitch x Reader Cockwarming)

Summary: Y/N misses Mitch while he's away on tour and can't get close enough to him when he returns home. He comes up with a solution that leaves them both content.

Previous Chapters:

Main Story: One ; Two ; Three ; Four ; Five ; Six ; Seven ; Eight ; Nine ; Ten

Sickfic Part 1 ; Part 2

Mitchrry Prequel

Fan Reactions

Holiday Blues

Mitchryy Reunion

Getting High

First Earthquake

Word Count: 2K

CW: smut, cockwarming, p in v sex

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

One thing you absolutely hate is goodbyes. Whether temporary or permanent, you despise having to separate from the people that you love.

It’s been a difficult few weeks for you. Mitch and Sarah left for tour almost a month and a half ago. Harry was with you for most of that time, but that doesn’t mean you weren’t missing the other two. You and Harry went to Mitch’s show in New York City, but the four of you weren’t able to get a minute alone. You couldn’t even spend quality time with them after the show since there were paps and fans tracking you and Harry.

The next day you flew back home to Ohio, Harry flew to London for a couple weeks to work, and Mitch and Sarah continued on to the next city.

It was even worse then, being completely alone in your big, empty apartment. The upside was that it was only a few days until the show nearby in Columbus and you’d be able to see Sarah and Mitch again.

But even at that show you weren’t able to spend too much time with them. This time Mitch’s family was there so the three of you had to be careful. They don’t fully know the extent of your relationship with Mitch and Sarah, and though you all plan to tell them someday, now doesn’t seem like a good time.

You are able to snuggle up next to Sarah for a little while since that’s something you two have always done. It feels nice to have her arm around you, to smell her familiar shampoo, and it settles you just enough to get through the end of the tour.

They finish the last couple of shows, and Sarah comes home to you. Unfortunately, Mitch has to go back to LA for a couple meetings, and your separation from him continues.

You spend a few days hanging out with Sarah before she leaves for a girl’s trip with some of her best friends. For two nights you’re alone again.

Finally, it’s the day Mitch is set to arrive home. You’re excited to finally see him and actually spend some quality time with him, but part of you feels anxious. You’re not entirely sure why, but you can’t shake this nervousness.

He arrives home as you’re cooking dinner, one of his favorite meals. You hear the door open but don’t greet him at the door like you normally would. He finds you standing at the stove, and he wraps his arms around your waist, pressing against your back and saying, “Hi baby.”

You turn your head, smiling and saying a quiet hello before pressing a quick kiss to his lips. Mitch is taken aback by your less than warm welcome after so long apart, but then you say, “Sorry, I have to keep stirring this until it boils or else the sauce will congeal and burn and be totally gross.” It’s a valid explanation, but there’s something just a bit off about you at the moment.

“Dinner will be ready in about twenty minutes,” you say.

“Can I help?” Mitch asks.

“No thanks, I’ve got it. Why don’t you shower? I know you normally like to after flights,” you suggest.

“Ok, sounds great. I’ll be back in a few minutes.” He turns and starts to walk out of the room, stopping when you call his name. “Yea?” He questions.

“I’m glad you’re home,” you say before shyly adding, “I missed you.”

His face softens and he replies, “I missed you too, so much.”

You smile at his response before jokingly saying, “Now go, wash off the germs.”

“I’ll be quick.”

“You’d better. Don’t want another minute without you.”

He steps closer, pressing another kiss to the top of your head before heading to the bathroom. While he takes a quick shower he assesses the way you’d greeted him and what might really be happening here. He hopes that maybe you really were just focused on not burning dinner. But Mitch knows you too well. He knows there’s something else there. Whatever it is, he knows he needs to fix it.

The food is ready by the time he’s dressed, and it smells delicious. The two of you sit down to eat, and though everything seems normal during the meal, Mitch isn’t convinced.

He suggests watching a movie and you agree. Before it begins you go to change into pajamas, seeing how Mitch is already comfy in his sweats. You wear an oversized T-shirt and a pair of boxer shorts, knowing that once you cuddle up to Mitch his body heat will keep you warm. You stop in the bathroom, deciding to do a quick nighttime routine so you won’t have to do it after the movie, but rather go straight to bed.

A few minutes later you’re ready and you join Mitch on the couch. He’s sitting on the corner of your L-shaped sofa, legs stretched in front of him. You waste no time, quickly sitting against him. Your head finds its home on his chest, where you can hear his heart, feel the rhythm of his breathing. His arm instinctively wraps around your shoulders, holding you close.

“This good?” He asks, referring to the romcom he’d pulled up on the TV.

“Yea, I like this one,” you reply, before tucking your face into the crook of his neck.

He presses play, but the movie doesn’t hold his attention. He’s purely focused on you, and your actions. You always love to cuddle, especially when you've been separated from your partners, but it’s like you’re trying to literally get under his skin. Mitch notices even the slightest movements as you continue to shift, never fully settling.

Halfway through the movie he feels your hand move to his shirt and grip the material tight. He can’t stand it anymore, he needs to know what’s going on in your head. So, he casually says, “You okay?”

“I’m good,” you quickly reply.

“Are you sure? You seem a bit, I dunno, upset maybe. I’m just not sure why.”

You’re quiet for a minute, unsure how to answer. Because he’s right, you are upset, but you’re not even fully sure what it’s about.

Finally, you reply, “I just really missed you.”

Mitch is quiet, hoping that you’ll explain a bit more.

After another moment you add, “It was just harder to be away from you than I’d expected. Don’t get me wrong, I am so happy for you and so proud of everything you’ve accomplished. But selfishly, I really missed you. And then I’d see all the pictures and videos of you hugging and talking to all those other girls.”

“And you were jealous of them? I promise, they’re just fans, baby. You and Sarah are the only girls for me.”

“I mean, I know that. And I know they weren’t coming on to you or anything. I was just jealous that they got to see you and hug you and I couldn’t. I wanted to be in your arms, and it like, physically hurt to not feel you for so long.”

“C’mere,” Mitch murmurs, pulling you so that you’re straddling his lap. He cups your face, encouraging you to look him in the eyes. “Those girls may have gotten a hug then, but you get me for life. Even if I’m gone for a while, I’ll always come back. And I’ll always hold you in my arms. Way tighter than I’d hug a fan.”

“I know,” you reply.

“But something’s still bothering you,” Mitch states, picking up on the way you continue to shift restlessly on his lap.

“I really don’t know what it is. I feel like I can’t physically get close enough to you. Like, I know you’re here, but part of me still doesn’t believe that,” you admit.

Mitch is quiet for a minute, thinking of what he can do to help you. He thinks for a minute and comes up with an idea. He’s not sure it will work, not sure if you’ll agree to it or not, but he has to try.

“You said you can’t get close enough?” he questions.

“Yea, it’s like I wish I could just merge us into one person,” you reply with a laugh.

“I mean, we kind of can,”

“Are you saying we could have sex?”

“Not exactly.”

You look at him for a second and say, “Explain.”

“Okay, you know how sometimes when we do have sex, you want me to stay inside for a bit after we finish?”

You blush and nod, knowing exactly what he’s talking about. You’re not sure why you like that so much, but it always makes you feel so safe and loved.

“Have you ever heard of cockwarming?” he asks, and you shake your head no.

“Basically, it’s that, but without the sex first. We just relax together but I’d be inside of you.” You take in his words and imagine doing what he described and a flush runs through your body. Mitch watches as your cheeks turn even pinker and your pupils dilate.

“Do you want to try?” he asks, needing to know exactly how you’re feeling.

“Yes, please, can we try that? How do we start?” Mitch smiles gently at your eagerness before leaning in to press a kiss against your mouth.

“Well first we have to warm up a little bit,” he says and leans back in for a deeper kiss. Your mouth moves with his, and you feel arousal building in your belly as wetness starts to seep into the boxers you’re wearing. Mitch moves his hands to your hips, and gently presses you lower so you can feel his length hardening beneath you.

He helps you maneuver out of your bottoms, and you shiver as the cold hair touches your sensitive center. Mitch then pulls himself out and wastes no time before running his tip along your folds.

“You sure baby?” He asks, checking once more for consent.

“I’m sure. I want you. I need you closer.”

At that he doesn’t hesitate. He gently slides inside of you, and you practically sob in relief. He fills you perfectly, feels so warm in you. You wrap your arms around his neck, shifting slightly to get comfortable and his arms wrap around your lower back, holding you to him.

Finally, you settle. No more fidgeting or restless movement. You’re perfectly content, physically attached to the man you love and missed.

You lose track of time, not noticing when the movie ends and another one begins. All you’re aware of is Mitch, how you can feel him everywhere. His hands gently caress your skin, his lips randomly press kisses to your face as he whispers how much he loves you.

Eventually Mitch is softly shaking you to wake you up. You breathe him in as you stir, slightly dazed, but it all comes back to you as you shift your hips and feel him still nestled inside of you. You let out a quiet moan, a new wave of desire running through you at the realization.

Without thinking, you lift your head to crash your mouth back to Mitch’s. He meets your enthusiasm with his own and what started out gentle earlier now becomes desperate. He carefully moves you so you’re laying on your back with him on top. He checks in again to make sure you’re on the same page before he begins thrusting.

It only takes a few minutes before the two of you are coming together, the feeling of him coating you making you feel even warmer inside than before. You whimper as he pulls out, feeling empty, but better than before. After a few more kisses, Mitch carries you to the bathroom to get cleaned up.

You both climb into bed, wrapped in each other’s arms. That night you sleep more soundly than you have in weeks, and Mitch knows this won’t be the last time you spend an evening with him resting inside of you.

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AN: Thanks for reading! I have one request for this story that I'm working on but if anyone has more just let me know!

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