one of the things that hits really nicely for me with Astarion's romance is that he never really encourages or wants you to be some kind of "protector." there are several instances where you can offer him that; protection, swear to him you'll kill cazador, or after his personal quest--I don't have the screencaps on hand, but you can directly say to him that he'll never have to need something like the ritual, because you'll protect him, and HE says back something along the lines of "It would be nice to not need you as my grand protector.... but I appreciate the thought." -- there's tinges here early in act 1 maybe of distrust of faulty promises yes, and considering Tav naive / not comprehending the power of cazador and therefore unhelpful, but even as you proceed, he's never interested in trading a lack of protection for a dependency on a protector.
in fact, the only time he's like "I'm doing it for US... to keep US safe <3" is when he's trying to manipulate/convince Tav into letting him do the ritual. "You want whats best for me right <3333" is the thing he actively uses to try and sway you over to his side, because he knows that's an emotional string to pull on.
there's an insistence of preferring equality in the subtext there; that protection or a skewed imbalance is not what Astarion wants, at his core. he doesn't want a nurse, or to be pitied, or be beholden to anyone. to try and pity him invites his irritation, even outrage. trying to swear to protect him at best gets a fond "I appreciate the Thought" and at worst a "don't be a fucking idiot." it would be veeeeery easy for the narrative to slip into something generic about being able to fix him, but it insists on someone to depend on as equals. give and take in true partnership. and in the post-ritual ending you can really feel the lack of equality there too--only now, he's in the position of both """"protector"""", and more so than that, obsessive beholder of Tav, and he exercises it in overt fashion; of course he'll protect you, your future, your life, is his after all. (and there's a LOT about that that's very interesting to me, and equally as complex & intricate as the no-ritual route in which two people meet on equal footing.) the game never shames this approach of wanting to protect him either, it acknowledges the good intent, and simply shows in Astarion's reactions that there's more here to it than that.
Listen, things might seem dire now but Kainess needed to break up in order for them to get stronger. They will get back together but in order to do that they need to evolve, something that never would have happened for Ness if he stuck by Kaiser’s side.
For the longest time i stood by the fact that Kaiser would be the one to initiate the break up, because Ness’s loyalty has been highlighted time and time again and he never would have left Kaiser of his own will, BUT i also strongly believe that Kaiser will also be the one who will initiate the reconcilliation.
I feel like this page is foreshadowing of that due to Ness’s obvious parallels to Kaiser’s ball and Kaiser’s treatment of them.
"Speak for yourself," Arafinwë snaps. Eönwë closes the enterance to the tent. "I am not half as reckless as you, and besides," he turns sharpy, eyes piercing and angry, "I am not a toddler in need of a guard. I do not need you to hover over me like I am going to die the second you turn around!"
"I do not hover over you!" Eönwë feels his voice rising as Arafinwë all but tears his armor off, throwing it on the ground with little to no regard. "I saved your life, Arafinwë! If I didn't turn around-"
"I would be just fine! By Varda, Eönwë - you grabbed me like I was a helpless kitten, I had it under control!"
"Your control," Eönwë spits, "would have landed you dead. You are reckless! Reckless, and - Manwë help me! Idiotic! You are an idiot! "
"Oh, well," Arafinwë hisses, "maybe my place isn't in the command, then. Maybe I should flee to the back lines, where I will be safe and sound and pliant, just as you want me to be. Maybe then my presence will finally stop distracting you! Go to hell, Eönwë. I don't need you here."
It stings, a little bit more than Eönwë is ready to admit. He takes a breath, counts to ten.
Minutes trickle by in a tense silence. Arafinwë picks up his armor and lays it into one pile in the corner; his lips are pursed. Eönw clenches his knuckles.
Finally, he speaks. "I thought about your words," he says coldly. Finarfin's face flares again, and he almost opens his mouth in a heated response; Eönwë glares, and Finarfin growls. "I do not think what I did was wrong."
"For the love of-"
"Shut up," Eönwë snaps, "and let me finish. I do not think I was wrong, but I also do not thing you are not capable - to fight, or to lead. That I want to be clear." He shakes his head. "You are capable of both, and brilliant in both, but it does not mean I would not interfere to stop a foe's sword from piercing your body, or to speak up if I think your plans have weak points. I value you, and, unfortunately, I happen to care for you, love it or not. And I do not want you to be reckless."
"You cannot tell me what to do."
"I cannot," Eönwë agrees, "but if it's your life on the line, I would do anything to perserve it. Even if it means following you to the gates of hell. Here! I care about you; and if that is not reason enough for you, I am sorry. But I will not stop."
"Then to the gates of hell we shall go," Arafinwë answers coldly. "Now leave. I heard you, but I still can't look at you and feel straight; go away, for your presence is not a comfort to me, not now. Come tomorrow, and I shall speak; then, but not now."
Eönwë inclines his head. "Good night to you," he says. "May your injury not hurt greatly."
"May your mouth slip mute for the shortest of minutes," Arafinwë sighs, irritated, and Eönwë scoffs.
He turnes his back and leaves the tent. Arafinwë's eyes are cold on his back.
Well, if that is a gratitude for saving the Ñoldóran's skin, Eönwë shall do it again even then. He shakes his head and heads to his tent.
It's amazing how quickly you can make someone turn on your company by making a stupid and insulting move
Force me to go through the front door and scan my card when I have backdoor business that never needed a card before (what? ...I was going to somehow... sneak in and... purchase things with a borrowed card? ...which I totally can't do from the front door after scanning it?)
Or like... twitterify your layout right after your users give you a bunch of money just cause they like you, and then refuse to walk it back
...or all the other things companies do that just kinda piss people off and then they refuse to acknowledge maybe it sucks and is stupid cause "hey, the customers didn't leave"... yeah... yet
Revenant is soooo mid which is disappointing because I was looking forward to it due to the actors and writer (this isn’t a flop like Jirisan, which I gave up on after 2–3 episodes, but it’s not really good). BUT. BUT!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’m suffering from “poor little meow meow middle-aged man” deficiency and Professor Yeom Haesang suffers so much. I can’t believe I was like “Oh...okay” about his casting because I’m planting my palms against his windows, peering at him in his little cage and being fed because he’s had the worst life ever and it keeps getting worse. HAESANG *____*<3
trapper: 1989; immaculate vibes, party central, city boy, tough act to follow
klinger: fearless; “in my best dress/ fearless” (enough said), unhinged, talks about home/family a lot (i.e. fifteen, the best day)
margaret: reputation; tough on the outside but secretly soft, bad bitch, donald penobscott was her getaway car
potter: debut; horse girl
radar: speak now; all about coming of age/loss of innocence, both are country™️, hawkeye looks at radar and “never grow up” just plays on a hoop in his head
winchester: evermore; so much older and wiser and I-, but both are intellectuals and value alone time
bj: midnights; just unhinged as hell, bj definitely feels like everybody is a sexy baby and he’s a monster on the hill, he is the mastermind, sweet nothing feels very him and peggy
sidney: lover; this album has its shit together and so does sidney, also he’s such a cinnamon roll, he deserves this
and finally, I saved the best for last…
hawkeye: double feature of red and folklore; yes he gets two albums- I’ll break it down
red: early seasons hawkeye, he’s happy free confused and lonely at the same time, but both the album and hawkeye are concerned with the passage of time, both experience a wide range of emotions, and both have a deeply ingrained sense of what should be (and it’s a deeply ingrained sense that’s being tested), and they’re both rebellious in nature
(if you are so inclined “the last time” is him saying goodbye to trapper and “begin again” is him meeting bj)
folklore: later seasons hawkeye, concerned again with the passing of time but this time in reference to childhood vs. where they find themselves now, both want to go home but can’t, both are concerned with a need to perform for others despite hawkeye’s shattered edges glistening, both are concerned with the idea of “madness” and what it means to be labeled as “mad”, also “they told me all of my cages were mental so I got wasted like all my potential and my words shoot to kill when I'm mad I have a lot of regrets about that I was so ahead of the curve, the curve became a sphere
fell behind on my classmates, and I ended up here”
So much time has passed and I still think about the scene where Takemichi said Chifuyu was the best friend he ever had, but Chifuyu didn't say the same about Takemichi.
Takemichi's words really meant a lot to Chifuyu, it's obvious how much it made him emotional. After all, Takemichi and Chifuyu really are best friends.
But I'm sure at that moment Chifuyu thought of Baji, the best friend he'd ever had. And it was the thought of Keisuke who died that made Chifuyu unable to say the words "You too are the best friend I've ever had" to Takemichi.
Because he will always think that Baji, who changed his life, is that friend.
I don’t often see it get talked about much these days (maybe I’m wrong, IDK, it’s just that other fans I’ve talked to don’t know/don’t recall), but the Grimm storyline from Legends of the Dark Knight had a pretty memorable portrayal of Bruce, Dick, and guilt.
If you’re not familiar with this, Grimm was a five-issue arc in Batman: Legends of the Dark Knight (#149–153) which took place during the maiden year of Dick’s term as Robin. It was written by J.M. DeMatteis with art by Trevor Von Eden and José Luis García-López.
Basically, Dick follows a pickpocket named Wendi into the subterranean “children’s paradise” of Mother Grimm, a deceptively jovial villain who lures wayward children there. The plot and writing honestly gets a bit convoluted towards the end, but commits and resolves satisfactorily. All you really need for context here out is Mother Grimm.
(All images henceforth are described in ALT text.)
I’m specifically talking about issue #151, or Part 3 of the arc. At this point, Dick had become entranced by the temptation of Mother Grimm’s world like the other children had, and when Batman came to take him back, Dick refused to go along. It was then that Mother Grimm gave Batman some vivid hallucinations (where he’s reverted to the form of a child) that stirred up some morbid, subconscious thoughts.
Already we get hit on the nose with the question, “Why’d you bring a little boy into the Batman’s warped world?” Because it’s this very notion that makes up the foundation of why Bruce found a connection with Dick in the first place during their early years together.
The following panels then posit a pretty disturbing frame of reasoning. And also keep in mind that Dick is the one recounting and narrating what Bruce told him of the ordeal, which Bruce had chosen to disclose years later. It illustrates a subconscious fear that Bruce has: that he had only taken Dick in and raised him into vigilantism for the sole purpose of compensating for what he (in his mind) had failed to do: die with his parents.
I cut off the lower panels, but it’s necessary for you to know (if you’ve never read this) that it’s Batman who saves young Bruce from the fall, and wakes him.
So he breaks free of the hallucination, but some pages later Bruce is exposed once again to the mind-altering chemicals of Mother Grimm, and this time he’s seeing himself as a child alongside Dick and a vision of the scenes of their respective parents’ deaths, had they both died alongside them.
He has a bit of a reckoning in this moment, saying to both Dick and his child self that he’s trying in his own way to help them, to prevent the fate of death from coming to them as it did their parents, that they do not also have to die.
But HOLD IT! There are some serious layers to this onion. After all, as Dick is the one narrating, he admits that Bruce didn’t really tell Dick what exactly he saw in this particular moment, but could reasonably guess (and he’s most likely correct, which is a testament to the fact of how deeply Dick knows Bruce). But that means this is also a reflection of Dick’s psyche, which develops in relation to Bruce’s because of the similarities of their traumas.
This simultaneously accomplishes the following:
Dick coming to terms with his own survivor’s guilt by using Bruce as a mirror.
Dick comes to a better understanding of why Bruce let him become a part of Batman’s world.
It means a lot more when you consider how Dick is recalling this whole story as an adult. How within that time, experiences like this one would have marinated.
Bruce found purpose and control in his grief, at a much greater capacity and intensity than what the average person might, thus creating the persona of the Batman as a way of avoiding and eliminating that feeling of helplessness. He extended that to Dick, who he essentially latched onto as a companion who knew what that helplessness was like.
Any psychological analysis of Batman (and Dick Grayson) would need an entire separate post, so this is where I’ll end it. When I first read Grimm a long time ago, I was especially stricken by the implication of Bruce believing that he was using Dick as both punishment for himself and compensation for living on while his parents were dead. It was nice for both Dick and Bruce to have that affirmation where their relationship was ultimately one born from compassion.
(Of course, as the years have passed, their relationship has taken on new strains, but it’s all the more tragic when remembering where they began.)
gomens trending again got me thinking about the parallels between aziraphale & crowley and of course the alltime faves warp & buzz... [SPOILER FREE POST]
idk its just! something ive been pondering is the structure of star command and its grabbag mix of peacekeeping / police / military / law enforcement functions and its ineffective & flawed structure and principles. even in blosc canon i think buzz is unquestioningly devoted to it because he is not, and has never been, directly opressed by, if i may call it that, the police state + he does believe that he as a space ranger works for the great good and general forces of justice... and yet! and yet he regularly goes against sc's rules and regulations on a whim! from disrespecting lives and privacy of perceived criminals (mocking, mind probing, other stuff i cant remember explicit examples for) to, on the other hand, not bringing them to justice or generally showing sympathy (looking at the ending of ancient evil of course, but also gravitina & millenial bugs bc ozma was breaking the law for sure there, no?). and he is also AWARE of how the system is not fair and "stacked against us" as shown in lone wolf! which makes me think he has some unexamined internal conflict about his job/calling--like aziraphale!!!
and on the other hand... sighs lovingly. and in the other corner we have warp who is obviously against star command (to what extent and based on what beliefs we unfortunately aren't shown) yet i think has never challenged its systems and operations openly, only subversively worked against em. maybe that's because in canon the whole time he had been a space ranger he was also secretly working against sc & for that reason he never cared enough to ever attempt to change sc or convince buzz they/he needed to change it ("convince buzz to do it" because buzz's a posterboy & the best & wrote actual RULEBOOK for star command--so he probably could've done a lot of improvements). and also for warp this whole star command thing was always just a job/cover so he wouldn't do all this hard unpaid work of Bringing On Systematic Changes that wouldn't benefit him immediately. BUT! imagine!!! if warp HAD to stick with the job--if he was forced to live and work under a fucked up rigorous unfair system encouraging blind obedience--as the angels and crowley had to!!--he wouldve rebelled SO FAST. punk demon warp + autism angel buzz for forever and a day!!!
so in conclusion in gomens/blosc crossover warp quits heaven day 1 and then after a lot of talking and questioning the established order of things and gomens-typical shenanigans buzz&warp must go from "a demon and an angel" to "two blokes fucking around" & go awol together married style. love wins?!
edit [STILL SPOILER-FREE]: i wrote this post before watching gomens season 2 and rereading/recontextualizing it now i keep thinking Wow. Did I Hit That Nail On The Head, especially with the buzz and aziraphale parallels. as i put it on twitter: "stubborn holier than thou autistic guy who genuinely believes the oppressive system hes working for is good and just" and "sexiest motherfucker on earth (who secretly cares)". the ending of s2 was almost a reversal of the buzz&warp main conflict which is DELICIOUS actually... with much more explicit gayness mixed in. fun! fun fun fun.
i know it's risky and i probably should slow my roll to not end up disappointed because this is ensemble stars but i have such high hopes for the valkyrie climax story... if !-era valk was the build-up of mika helping shu (and the unit itself) to recover from the war and regain stability, it feels like !!-era valk has been the process of shu helping mika develop his confidence in his own artwork and humanity in return-- so they can truly be equals. and since we already know the event is a shu center...... i just think there's maximum potential for this story to fuck severely if done right