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gojorgeous · 10 months ago

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"MINE, MINE, MINE."

pairing: alpha!geto x omega!fem!reader summary: your doctor won’t refill your prescription until you’ve reset your cycle. you’re desperate for that refill, but geto’s not having it. content: MDNI (18+ ONLY), a/b/o dynamics, nsfw, dubcon? (reader doesn’t want a heat but it’s medically necessary (LMAO what)), established relationship, unprotected sex, breeding, praise, pet names, knotting, slight manipulation, dacryphilia, somnophilia, spit, blood, oral (fem!receiving), so much licking and smelling?, geto and reader are just downright feral LMAO, lmk if i missed anything. a/n: have y’all figured out that i have a breeding kink yet… anyway, this is the first a/b/o fic that i’ve ever written but i just read one and was feeling *inspired*. if people want i might do a prequel sort of thing for this that goes more in-depth about how they met and stuff. lmk! also, i have a vampire gojo fic planned hehe get ready bbs. if you want more of my omegaverse fics check out my alpha!gojo fic here! and remember, AGELESS BLOGS WILL BE BLOCKED! divider credit to: @cafekitsune wc: 5.2k

“No.”

No? You shift in your seat, cold and plastic, sure you must have heard him wrong.

“I’m sorry?” you ask. You press your tongue to the roof of your mouth, an anxious habit.

“I can’t refill the prescription. I’m sorry, but, frankly, it would be completely irresponsible of me to do so. I’m shocked your previous physician prescribed them for so long.” Fingers find yours and twine them together. Your eyes flash to Geto, but he’s only staring at your new doctor, staring with that furrow in his brow he only gets when he’s worried.

Your new, soon-to-be old, doctor sighs again, running a hand through his thinning white hair. “You need to have a heat as soon as possible, allow your body to recalibrate. Indefinite use of suppressants is dangerous and unhealthy. They are meant to manage your cycles, not stop them altogether.”

Sweat beads on your palms. He can’t be serious. But it’s his first opinion. Surely there’s another option.

“I-I’m sorry, doctor. I don’t think I’m understanding.”

Another glance at Geto reveals that he’s frowning now. When his eyes find yours you see the decision there, one he’s already made without you. Your stomach drops.

The doctor sighs and suddenly the walls of the office feel small, tight, suffocating. The twinge of alcohol and chemicals in the air makes your nose scrunch. “Let me say this clearly. I will not refill your prescription for suppressants, nor will any other reputable physician. You have been taking them continuously for far too long. You risk permanent damage should you delay a proper cycle any longer.” The doctor glances to Geto, then back to you. “Go home with your alpha and allow nature to take its course. It’s what’s best.”

Your eyes widen with realization– you are not leaving this office with what you came for. Your heart pounds and your palms sweat. “Th-that can’t happen, doctor. I need my suppressants. My job- I can’t be out that long a-and Geto can’t either, we–”

“We will go home,” Geto interrupts, and his tone is final. “Thank you, doctor, for the advice.”

Geto pulls you to your feet, gently but firmly. He leaves no question about the fact that you’re leaving. You can feel the intensity radiating off him in waves. You ignore it. You turn to your new doctor, silently smiting him. Why did your old one have to retire?

“Doctor, you don’t underst–”

“Thank you again,” Geto interrupts.

Before you can make another sound, another protest, Geto pulls you through the door, out of the office, and back to the car. He opens the door for you, as he always does, except this time you’re not so eager to accept his chivalry.

“Suguru,” you bite out. His eyes meet yours, but they are surprisingly gentle. So calm. How is he always calm?

“Just get in, baby. We’ll talk about it in the car.”

You debate saying no, but you can’t bring yourself to start a fight when he’s being so good. You grumble when you climb in, buckling your seatbelt before Geto can do it for you.

The engine revs to life, but you hardly notice. You’re already scrolling your phone, the search bar reading a simple and straightforward “doctors offices near me”. You scroll right past the first ten, for once in your life wanting a doctor that’s a little sketchy. You scroll further– still not sketchy enough. Someone who’ll give you the prescription you need, even if it’s not necessarily… ethical. Or maybe you could get some on the street? Surely there was some kind of dealing ring for that. There was a dealing ring for everything, right?

“What are you doing?” His voice is soft, but his fingers are tight around the steering wheel, skin stretched tight across his knuckles.

You lift your phone to your ear, dialing the first office that looked relatively shitty enough. “Getting a second opinion,” you answer.

Suguru plucks the phone so swiftly from your fingers that you hardly even notice it’s gone. You see him end the call and slip it into his back pocket, out of your reach.

“Hey!” You scramble across the center console, hopelessly grabbing at your lost phone, your last hope.

Suguru grabs your wrist, restraining you far too easily for your liking. “You’re not getting it back,” he says. His eyes never leave the road.

Your brows pinch and anger boils in your stomach. “This is not for you to decide. It’s my body.”

He glances at you, unconcerned. Still calm. “And you’re not in a headspace to be making a responsible decision about it, so I’m making it for you.”

Your jaw drops and you pry your wrist free of his grasp. You escape, but you know it’s only because he allows it. “I am of perfectly sound mind, thank you.”

He shakes his head and sighs. “You’re blinded by desperation.”

“It’s still not for you to decide!” When you don’t notice any change in his expression, you switch tactics– from anger to honesty. You let your face fall, let your true feelings creep through. “You know how much I hate it, Su.”

Finally, he cracks. It’s instantaneous, the way he melts for you- the way the soft smile finds his lips and his hand finds yours, twining your fingers together. “I know, but you have to, baby. You heard the doctor.”

You clench your jaw and avoid the sting of tears behind your eyes. You had heard the doctor, but you weren’t ready. Maybe next month, when you’d had more time to mentally prepare.

Your skin crawled. You hated it, hated this. You hadn’t had a heat in years, avoiding them like the plague. You hated how vulnerable they made you, how they put you at the mercy of another. It wasn’t that you didn’t trust Suguru– you did. You trusted him more than anyone, anything, but you still hated the feeling of being so completely helpless, so completely out of control, even if it was Suguru you were submitting to.

For most of your life, you’d successfully hidden your omega status. With the help of suppressants, you’d passed as a beta until your early twenties. Then you met Geto.

You’d met at work. He was cute, beautiful even, you’d thought, but he screamed alpha– and alphas could be dangerous, especially for hiding, unclaimed omegas like you. You’d stayed away as long as you could and, for a while, you were quite successful. You avoided him in the halls, sat at the opposite end of the table in meetings, replied to emails succinctly but politely. All was well until you’d been trapped in an elevator with him one morning, biting your lip anxiously as you waited to reach the twelfth floor. He’d smelled so good that day, perhaps due to an oncoming rut. You hadn’t been able to resist inching closer, taking deeper breaths. Suguru would later tell you that he’d suspected your hidden status, but he had no reason to question you. At least, not until he had you up against the elevator wall with his face buried in your neck. One deep whiff was all he’d needed to know exactly what you were, even with suppressants in your system.

You’d dated for a little over a year, until you’d decided he was the one. Your fingers dust over the mate mark on your throat, the one that had not only made you undoubtedly Suguru’s, but also the one that had revealed to the world exactly what you were. There was no hiding your true identity with an alpha’s scarred mark on your neck.

Suguru had never seen you through a heat– no one had. You’d taken your suppressants daily, ever since you met him and even long before that. He’d claimed you on a day like any other, no heat necessary. He hadn’t had a rut in all these years, either. When he felt one coming on all he had to do was pop a single pill and all was well– apparently with none of the nasty side effects that came along with your suppressants. Another unfair privilege of being an alpha you supposed.

“Sugu, I can’t do this.” Your lip is raw from how much you’ve been chewing on it by the time you reach home.

Suguru softly shuts the door behind you, lifting your twined hands to his lips, gently kissing your knuckles.

“Yes you can. I know you can.”

You shake your head. He doesn’t understand– doesn’t know what this will do to you, how it will break you. While you hadn’t had a heat in years, you had experienced them before. You loathed them more than anything, loathed the way your mind was a slave to your body and not the other way around, loathed the way your whole body pulsed and throbbed, loathed the way it made you feel so… weak. “I can’t. It’s-it’s-” Your hands come up to cover your face. You sigh and feel the blush crawling beneath your cheeks. “It’s embarrassing. Humiliating.”

There’s silence for a moment, and then a soft sight. Suguru pries your hands from your face gently. When you meet his eyes, he’s all business.

“There’s nothing to be embarrassed about, baby.”

You shake your head and pull away, pacing. “I don’t want anyone to see me like that, Sugu. Not even you.”

Strong hands catch your waist, holding you still. “It’s not a question. It’s happening– for the sake of your health.”

You scoff and shake your head. “It’s not–”

His thumb presses to your lips with just enough pressure to demand silence. The omega in you coos to listen, to submit– the other part of you reels with annoyance.

“End of discussion.”

He’s closer now and you can feel waves of his breath skating across your skin. It’s like a drug, one that the primal side of you can never get enough of. Give in, give in, give in, your omega begs. Listen to your alpha… You try not to focus on the fact that he smells good enough to eat. You know what he’s doing– using his dynamic to persuade you, to make you see his way, playing to the omega you can usually hide so carefully.

“Sugu��” you say. You intend to be angry but you trail off when his eyes catch yours.

“I got you, baby.”

Your heart melts at the words. He waits. Maybe he knows that the smell of his skin on yours is playing tricks on your mind. You wage a battle within. Every instinct urges you to agree and with every passing second it becomes harder to disagree. Perhaps he’s right, perhaps it's time you give in for once. Let him take care of you, your omega purrs. You’re nodding before you realize what you’ve done.

Suguru kisses you quickly, allowing no time for takebacks. When he pulls away he gets to work. He whips his phone from his pocket and you listen to him talking to his boss, your boss, saying that you’ll both be out of work for a week on “family” leave. Your face heats when you realize that your boss now knows exactly what you two are going to be doing for the foreseeable future. Suguru kisses you one last time before he’s out the door, off to get enough food and supplies to last a week. You won’t be leaving your apartment for some time. You don't fail to notice that he doesn’t return your phone before he’s gone.

You don’t notice a difference, even after the sun is gone. It’s not surprising, considering you usually take your suppressants at night– it’ll take a little while longer for them to fully exit your system… you hope. When you’re brushing your teeth you stare at the empty prescription bottle longingly.

You join Suguru in bed. The moment you crawl onto the mattress he pulls you closer into his bare chest. You savor the way your bodies fit so perfectly- like he was meant for you and you alone. His front curls around your back, a leg slotted between your thighs.

“Feel anything?” he asks.

You shake your head to hide your swallow. You almost shiver when Suguru buries himself in your neck, inhaling your scent. You feel him harden against your backside. He must be able to smell your approaching heat even before you can. Part of you expects instinct to take hold of him, for him to make a move, but he only presses a kiss to your jaw and holds you tighter.

“Sleep, baby.”

For once, you follow orders without a fight.

–

Hot. Too hot.

When your eyes flutter open, you feel the pounding of your heart, the labor of your breath, and the growing ache between your legs.

You sit up so fast you see stars, panic flooding your veins. No, no, no, no, no. This was wrong, you’d made the wrong choice. You couldn’t do this. Already, you could feel control slipping from your grasp, your consciousness giving way to something more primal, more feral. You scramble, preparing to stand, to find your phone, to lock yourself away and suffer through this on your own.

“Deep breaths, baby.”

Only then do you realize Suguru is already awake. He’s behind you, hands on your shoulders, both a comfort and a restraint.

“Can’t-” Your breaths are ragged and so are your words. “Can’t do this, Sugu-”

“Yes, you can.” He whispers. He pulls you closer, tighter against him. “You will.”

You shake your head frantically, tears pooling on your lashes. When you turn, Suguru is staring at your neck, at the mate mark on your throbbing pulse. His jaw is clenched when his tongue darts out to wet his lips. He’s restraining himself, you realize. A glance down reveals he’s already painfully hard in his pants. You wonder how long he’s been sitting there, taking in your scent, waiting for you to wake. No doubt his rut has already been triggered.

His eyes raise to yours and he pauses at the tears that leak down your cheeks. He leans closer, and the scent emanating from his neck makes you groan against your will. His kisses away the tears. Slowly, one at a time.

“I’ve got you, baby,” he whispers. “I’ve got you.”

Your body pulls him closer, even as your mind pushes back. “My phone, Sugu,” you panic. “Gotta gimme my phone. C-call a new doctor.”

He shakes his head and when you start to squirm he only holds you tighter, holds you in place.

“No, baby.”

You whimper, seeking the scent gland on his neck against your will. The smell makes your clit throb almost painfully.

“Sugu, please,” you cry. Tears stream from your eyes, staining your lover’s skin.

“‘S gonna be okay. Just let it happen. Don’t fight it, love.”

With each passing moment, you feel your fight slipping further and further away. Suguru rubs at the muscles in your back until you’re slumped against him, pitifully moaning like a wounded animal. It’s not long before your body takes the reins, until you start desperately humping at his thigh, your clit throbbing almost painfully.

“That’s it. Good girl.”

Your eyes roll back at the praise and when Suguru grips your waist you cry out at the touch. Everywhere his skin meets yours feels electric. You’re burning, burning, burning. It’s not until Suguru lays you down on your back that you see the sopping patch of slick you’ve left on his thigh. You whimper at the sight.

“‘S okay, baby. ‘Ve got you.”

Suguru is looking nearly as lost to the lust as you are. Only his willpower and intent keep him from shredding away your panties and breeding your cunt full that very second. He’s never been in the presence of a scent so intoxicating. He’s never been with you, or any omega, through a heat. He thought you smelled amazing before, but now… He is lost to you, lost to the heat he feels emanating from every inch of your skin, to the honeyed scent pouring from your neck, to the slick he sees staining through your panties. His dick twitches in his pants.

“Love you so much, baby. Gonna take such good care of ya,” he whispers. Instinct drives him forward until he’s plastered his lips to your jaw, licking and biting at the skin. You nearly scream at the sensation. You feel his touch everywhere, all at once. With your last coherent thoughts you know that this heat will be unlike any other you’ve ever experienced. It’s already so intense you can hardly think, and you’ve only just begun.

“Sugu,” you plead.

The sound of his name on your lips breaks him. His hand dips across your stomach, thumbing past the edge of your panties until he’s running his finger through your slit, gathering your slick and rubbing it against your clit.

You scream and thrash, so sensitive it nearly hurts, but he only moves to pin you beneath him, forcing you to take everything he gives.

“Gonna make you feel ‘s good, baby.” he hums. He’s lost to you, to your desires, to your needs. Every piece of him screams to please you, to take care of you, in every way possible.

He continues his messy circles on your clit and until you’re gasping, hole clenching around nothing, begging to be filled.

“S-Sugu…” you whine.

The growl that rips from his throat has you arching your back and bearing your throat in an act of submission. You hear a tear and watch your panties hit the floor. Your shirt follows and then you’re completely bare beneath your alpha. His eyes go black at the sight, pupils blown so wide you can hardly see a smidgen of their usual brown. There’s a deep rumble in his chest that has you keening and reaching for him, needing him. He doesn’t waste time. His tongue finds your neck, laving sloppily at your scent gland and the sensation is so delicious that you writhe beneath him.

His fingers slide down your stomach, dipping between your thighs and rubbing at your clit. The touch is somehow gentle despite the complete and total hunger in his eyes, but it has you whining nonetheless. Every place he touches you, which is nearly everywhere, stings so delightfully that your eyes are already rolling back.

But you can’t wait. You can’t. Your body is starved, rabid, and you know what you need.

“Ssssugu… please…” your words are hardly above a whisper, barely a breath, but your alpha still hears you, still knows what you want, what you need.

“I got you, baby… shhhhh…” He gives a final lick to your scent gland before he’s leaning back on his knees, parting your thighs wide, exposing your leaking cunt. You can feel a puddle of slick beneath your ass, your hole clenching desperately around nothing, aching to be filled.

Warm hands slide up your skin and settle on your hips, tugging you a little further down the bed. You whimper, but don’t have time to say anything before you feel him slipping through your folds. A glance down reveals his weeping tip, achingly flushed, bumping and rubbing against your clit. When did his pants come off? You don’t know, you don’t care, all that matters is that the sight steals your breath away.

“Gonna knot you good, princess.”

You nod, wanting nothing more than for him to make good on his promise. You claw and grip at his arms, chanting his name endlessly. His chest rumbles again and your thighs part further on instinct. Finally, he gives you what you want. You feel him pressing in, fat tip stretching you wide. One of his hands moves to press down on your tummy and the combination has tears pooling in your eyes.

He slides in slowly. With every inch you think he must be done, that you can’t take any more. But you can, and you do. When he’s finally fully in your jaw is hanging open in ecstasy and your eyes are rolled back in your skull. His fingers brush your clit and your hips jerk.

“That’s it. So good, baby. So fucking good.”

Your tears flood over, racing down your cheeks. He’s over you again, loose strands of black hair brushing your skin and forcing a whimper from your throat. He licks away your tears, lapping at your cheeks like you’re a fucking lollipop. His hips start thrusting in time with his licks, and it’s more than you can handle. Your thighs tremble and suddenly you’re begging. Pleading, whining, screaming for more. He gives it to you. One hand finds yours, twining your fingers together as he pounds into you so hard he’s rattling your skull. He’s licking at your scent gland again, driving you further and further toward a cliff you’re afraid to fall from. You think this orgasm might shatter you, might break you so thoroughly you’ll never be put back together again. You can feel it tightening at your core with each thrust, each lick, each kiss.

“Fuck,” you hear him growl and whimper at the sound of his voice so close to your ear. “‘M gonna bite you, princess. Gonna mark you up and knot you so good you’ll see fucking stars.” You pant beneath him, unable to word how excited you are by his words, how deliciously they roll across your skin and seep into your spine. “Tell me you didn’t take your pill, baby. Tell me I can breed this pussy full and it won’t go to waste.” He’s not talking about your suppressants you know, but rather the contraceptives you take in tandem with them. Of course you took it, but suddenly something makes you wish you hadn't. “‘M gonna flush ‘em down the fucking toilet. Never letting you take that shit again.”

The primal part of you surges forward at the idea. It chants deep in your mind. Yes, yes, yes…

“Suguuu… please…” It seems like those are the only words your tongue can form.

His lips press to yours, shushing you. “Shhh, baby. Don’ worry. I got you.” He licks across your cheek and down across your jaw until he finds your scent gland again. His thrusts pick up again and you think you might pass out from how good you feel, from how tight your muscles are coiling. You can feel his knot pulsing inside you, preparing to fill you to the brim. You’ve never felt more ready for anything.

“Sugu–”

And it’s at that moment that he makes good on his promise. His teeth sink into your neck and you feel your bond snap taut like a string, pulsing with the closeness of your connection. It’s pure ecstasy. Suguru’s knot swells, notching tightly inside you and when you feel his cum pulsing into your womb it’s all too much. You think you must be screaming from the pleasure but you only hear the ringing in your ears as your orgasm washes over you. Your muscles clench, your toes curl, your back arches, you see those stars Suguru promised. Heat tingles through your limbs and down your spine and you think you’ve probably just melted into the mattress. But you haven’t, and when your vision returns, you’re panting and staring at the ceiling.

Suguru is above you and you can feel him still cumming, still releasing rope after rope of thick, hot cum into you. The sensation makes you groan and he laps at your neck, cleaning up the blood from the new mark he’s just given you. Your consciousness trickles back in, the primal piece of you partially sated for the time being. You remember the context of your situation, why you’re here and not at work, what you’re doing. You’re puzzled by why you’d been so panicked by the idea of a heat before. How could you have been so reluctant, so scared, when nothing has ever felt this right?

Suguru is peppering you with kisses now, pulling you tight to his chest and rolling you both onto your sides where you’ll stay until his knot softens.

“Sleep, princess,” he says and he uses that tone that always compels you to listen, to please. You happily do as he says and when your eyes drift shut it’s not long before you’re lost to a world of comfortable darkness.

You wake to the throbbing again. All of the pent up need Suguru had sated has returned with a vengeance. You need him again, but it appears he already knows that.

You feel him between your legs, his hair fully loose now and tickling the insides of your thighs. He’s eating you out, slurping up the cum that’s leaking down your thighs and spitting it back onto your cunt. It’s filthy, disgusting, and you love it.

“Sugu–” you gasp and your hips buck. His eyes lock with yours and the smile he gives you nearly makes you come on the spot. He holds your gaze as he licks one last long stripe over your folds. You whimper and clench around nothing. Empty, empty, empty…

“Sorry, baby,” he whispers against your skin. He’s kissing his way up your body now, leaving little circles of spit that cool when they touch the air and make you shiver. “‘Y smelled so good…”

You whine and whimper, clawing at his back and leaving scratches you think might draw blood. You’re too worried about getting him inside of you to check.

You’re gasping like you’ve never had a breath of air in your life, like you’ve drowned and every touch he gives you fills your lungs with much-needed oxygen. His hands rub gently at your waist, but it’s not enough. You want him to wreck you, ruin you. You say as much.

“M-more…” you beg and when he hums against your neck you squirm desperately. Warm hands dig into your flesh and suddenly you find yourself flipped onto your stomach. You feel Suguru behind you, pushing your thighs apart with his knees. His hands find your hips again and lift, propping you up with your face still pressed to the pillows. When you whimper he runs a soothing hand up and down your spine.

“‘S okay, baby. Relax. Lemme take care ‘ve you.”

Yes, yes, yes, you think. You don’t think you’ve ever wanted anything more. His fingers dig into your skin, holding you still when he feeds his dick into you, one inch at a time. You cry out, tearing at the sheets and begging for more, even when you already feel like you’re splitting in half. When he’s finally seated inside you he drapes himself over your back, brushing your hair over one shoulder to expose your neck. He leans in to lick you again, thrusting sharply the moment his tongue brushes your skin. You wail, pressing your face to the sheets and attempting to rock yourself back against him. One of his hands smooths over the flesh of your ass as he sets a pace, one that makes you bite down on a pillow to muffle your screams.

“No.” Suguru uses that tone that makes you listen, that one that calls instinctively to the omega inside you, that urges you to please. He reaches for your pillow, tossing it aside and letting his hand curl around your throat as he continues to fuck you, letting his fingers feel the vibrations of every noise you make. “Let me hear you, baby. Always let me hear you.”

You nod, eager to make him happy, eager to do as he says. You don’t dare restrain a single sound, eyes rolling back. The angle he has you at has your thighs trembling. He’s so deep, so close. You feel his heartbeat against your back, feel his tongue on your skin, his hand on your throat, his cock at your cervix.

When he groans, you groan with him, feeling his dick pulse inside you, his knot beginning to swell. You need it, need it so bad you can hardly stand it.

“P-please, please, please–”

He swells inside you, locking your bodies together as his orgasm hits. It’s all you need to find your own. You wail into the mattress, cunt clenching and legs trembling until you collapse, flattening against the beg. Suguru follows you down, wrapping his arms around your waist and whispering in your ear.

“Take it all, baby. Good girl. Take it all…”

You nod, not even sure what you’re agreeing to. All you can feel is his cum flooding your insides, pulsing and pumping so deep into you that you swear your tummy is swelling with the sheer amount of it. Still, your body wants more, clenching and milking him for every last drop, just like he asked.

When you both come down from your orgasms he pulls you into his chest once again, whispering promises of protection and love that lull you into a trance-like state of happiness. When you fall asleep again, he’s chanting a word that your omega repeats right back to him. “Mine, mine, mine.”

When you wake again it’s to the sound of Geto staying true to his word and flushing every last birth control pill you have straight down the toilet. Your omega surges at the idea, but one mewl from you and he’s back in your arms, like you’re somehow the one in charge, not him. With every passing moment, you being to think that might be true- that perhaps a heat does not makes you as weak as you thought. Your alpha submits as much to you as you submit to him.

The week is spent in a frenzy. You do not measure by the numbers on the clock or where the sun is in the sky, rather you know time only as how long it’s been since Suguru’s been locked inside you. If it were up to you, you’d never stop, but Geto forces you to sleep, to eat, to bathe. Of course, he’s never far away when you’re following his instructions and you usually get a kiss and his knot as a reward for being such a good girl.

It’s ten days later when your heat finally starts to wane. It feels as though every inch of you is covered in him. Bites, hickies, kisses, cum… no part of you has been left untouched. Suguru has had you everywhere. The bed, the shower, the bath, the kitchen. Every surface in the whole apartment reeks of sex and slick. He never keeps you too far from the bedroom, though, where you’ve piled up mountains of his shirts and sheets. Anything that smells like him, anything that can keep you tethered in those brief moments when Suguru goes to fetch you food or water or run you a bath. He takes care of you, just like he promised.

When you wake completely clear-headed for the first time in well over a week, it’s to Suguru’s arms and lips. He’s got you all wrapped up in him, his arms locked around your waist almost like he expects you to bolt. You almost do when everything comes flooding back to you, this time with a completely clear conscience. But then he kisses your neck and whispers a delightful little, “welcome back, baby” against your neck and suddenly you’re realizing how… revitalized you feel, like a part of you has finally been properly satisfied after years of waiting. You’d always hated this, always hated the part of you that begged and cowered, hated heats- but maybe with Suguru… they really weren’t all that bad.

taglist (DM me to be added!): @lacheri, @la-undercover-latina

link: alpha!gojo fic

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obsidianshadow · 11 months ago

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☺️

#it's kinda fruity to play Baldur's Gate with a lad until 4 am right #this isn't a romantic thing but it's so refreshing to be talking with someone who likes you #not someone just out for the sex which I feel like happens more often than not on dating apps #it's weird having to recalibrate what I want in a relationship

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darknight3904 · 1 month ago

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𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘖𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘓𝘪𝘧𝘦

𝘓��𝘨𝘢𝘯 𝘏𝘰𝘸𝘭𝘦𝘵𝘵 𝘹 𝘍𝘦𝘮!𝘙𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳

𝘚𝘶𝘮𝘮𝘢𝘳𝘺: 𝘈 𝘴𝘶𝘯𝘴𝘦𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘭𝘬 𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘢𝘤𝘩 𝘢𝘵 𝘊𝘰𝘯𝘦𝘺 𝘐𝘴𝘭𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘩𝘢𝘴 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘓𝘰𝘨𝘢𝘯 𝘨𝘳𝘰𝘸𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘤𝘭𝘰𝘴𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘯 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘣𝘦𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘦.

𝘛𝘢𝘬𝘦𝘴 𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘤𝘦 𝘢𝘧𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘋𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘱𝘰𝘰𝘭 & 𝘞𝘰𝘭𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘦 (2024). 𝘙𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳 𝘩𝘢𝘴 𝘣𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘥 𝘮𝘢𝘯𝘪𝘱𝘶𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘱𝘰𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘢𝘨𝘦𝘴 𝘴𝘭𝘰𝘸𝘭𝘺. 𝘐𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶'𝘷𝘦 𝘴𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘉𝘰𝘺𝘴 𝘰𝘳 𝘎𝘦𝘯 𝘝, 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘬 𝘝𝘪𝘤𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘢 𝘕𝘦𝘶𝘮𝘢𝘯 𝘰𝘳 𝘔𝘢𝘳𝘪𝘦.

𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘪𝘴 𝘢 𝘥𝘪𝘳𝘦𝘤𝘵 𝘴𝘱𝘪𝘯𝘰𝘧𝘧 𝘵𝘰 𝘮𝘺 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘺 𝘗𝘳𝘰𝘮𝘪𝘴𝘦. 𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘰, 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘐 𝘥𝘰 𝘳𝘦𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘥 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘪𝘵 𝘧𝘪𝘳𝘴𝘵.

𝘞𝘢𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴: 𝘝𝘪𝘰𝘭𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘭𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘶𝘢𝘨𝘦 𝘪𝘯 𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘮𝘰𝘷𝘪𝘦.

𝘐 𝘸𝘳𝘰𝘵𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦 𝘮𝘪𝘥/𝘶𝘱𝘱𝘦𝘳 30𝘴 𝘪𝘯 𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘦, 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘪𝘮𝘢𝘨𝘪𝘯𝘦 𝘩𝘰𝘸𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘺𝘰𝘶'𝘥 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘮𝘶𝘵𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘪𝘴 𝘴𝘭𝘰𝘸 𝘢𝘨𝘪𝘯𝘨.

𝘞𝘰𝘳𝘥 𝘊𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘵: 3.1𝘬

𝘗𝘳𝘦𝘷𝘪𝘰𝘶𝘴 𝘗𝘢𝘳𝘵 / 𝘚𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘴 𝘔𝘢𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘭𝘪𝘴𝘵 / 𝘔𝘺 𝘔𝘢𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘭𝘪𝘴𝘵

The next two weeks following your rooftop conversation with Logan were odd ones. The apartment is calmer than normal as the two of you fall into a rhythm with each other. Usually, that rhythm was in silence, but it was still a rhythm.

Logan, like the freak of nature he was, always got up before anyone else and would start a pot of coffee. Eventually, you'd show up, still groggy and clad in pajamas for him to hand you a piping hot mug with just the right amount of sugar and milk. It had taken him two days to figure out exactly how you liked your coffee.

The two of you would usually then eat breakfast, and then depending on the day, you'd go off to work, or on your days off, you'd eat breakfast with him while the TV ran in the background.

During this time, you learned a few things about this new version of Logan the universe has gifted you. For example, if he was reading a book, every few pages, he'd lick the tip of his finger to turn a page. Another would be how he tapped his foot to the beat of a song if he liked it. You presumed Logan was also picking up on the little ticks that you performed as you lived your life. Of course, you didn't ask him if he was.

Sure, these weeks had been peaceful, but at the same time wildly aggravating. It was as though nearly all of your anger for the man that was currently loudly slurping cereal from his bowl, had disappeared in a puff of smoke. You had stolen so many glances at him over the past few days, hoping you might find some anger lingering in your soul for the bearded hunk of muscle yet, you always came up empty.

It was Wade who first pointed out to you that you were running low on hatred.

"You two are totally best buds, or should I say best bubs now?"

"We are not." You rolled your eyes as you handed him his lunch that he had forgotten at the apartment.

"Sure ya are. Let me know when the wedding bells chime, and I'll dust off my flower girl dress.

Wade was so full of shit it was practically leaking out of his ears.

Logan was a mystery to you. To outsiders (Wade) he was like a mean old barn cat. Quick to give a rebuttal and swat whatever kind words the annoying man had to say. Then, as if his brain was surgically removed and recalibrated, he'd turn into the biggest softie and start flirting with you.

You weren't dumb. You could see that he was into you from a million miles away. It made sense, considering the positive relationship he had with you in his universe. Well, before he fucked it up that is. What you didn't get is why he was so invested after all these months. You had been so cold and rude to him, hell, you had blown off his leg once in an argument. Yet, the past two weeks had been a whirlwind of boyish charm and little glances he probably thought you didn't notice. It was downright annoying how deep he was under your skin.

The worst part of it all was the fear that was eating you alive. Sure, the daylight chased it away and you rarely thought about it when you were actually with him. But late at night, when Laura was fast asleep, fear was all you felt. You were terrified of it, falling in love with him again. You couldn't do it again. And yet, here you sat, staring at that handsome face again like none of it had even happened in the first place.

"What're you doing today?" Logan asks

"I was thinking about starting Gilmore Girls. Or maybe Gossip Girl..." You say, "I need a new show to watch."

"Gossip Girl for sure." Wade says, standing at the microwave, watching his breakfast burrito heat up, "That Serena is the hottest person I've ever seen."

"Aren't you and Vanessa back together?" You ask

"Am I not allowed to appreciate other hot people in this world? Don't worry about it, I'll tell Blake about this later. Clearly, you don't find her attractive."

You scoff, only a moron would think Blake Lively wasn't attractive.

"Anyway, you two are not allowed to camp in the living room and binge-watch whatever show you had your eyes set on." Wade declares

"And why is that?" Logan asks, "Thought this was a free country?"

"Oh, it is. And that's why we are taking a trip to Coney Island today. Vanessa got free tickets from her work and we are all invited." Wade grins

You glance at Logan who already is looking at you, his eyes practically asking what your opinions were on this.

"Alright, fine. But you're not allowed to peer pressure me into any rides I don't want to go on." You point at Wade

"Deal." He grins, "Now go wake up Laura. I'd do it, but last time I woke her she stabbed both my eyeballs in and took that little foot knife of hers to my balls."

"Sounds like someone I know." You tease, gently kicking Logan's shin under the table

"I've never done that to you." He says looking at you confused.

"Um hello, what about me? Do I not have feelings? Did the night in the Honda Oddessy mean nothing to you?" Wade gasps dramatically

"No, It didn't."

"You insensitive bastard! I'm telling my therapist about you!"

Coney Island's boardwalk is crowded despite the cooler fall weather. You walk along in between Laura and Logan, observing the many different kinds of people that flock to the tourist trap. In front of you, Wade's toupee is shiner than normal as he walks hand in hand with Vanessa.

"Do you think he shampooed that thing before seeing her today?" Laura asked on your left

"Oh definitely." You reply

"Probably deep conditioned too. A hair mask or two." Logan chimed in from your right

"How do you know what a deep condition is? Or a hair mask?" You ask, bewildered

"When you've been alive for two hundred years, you pick up on things, bub." He says

"You've done a hair mask before, haven't you?" Laura eyed him suspiciously

"No," Logan said sheepishly

"You're so full of shit." She laughed

You lean over to whisper in her ear, "Bet he's gotten a blowout before too."

"You two know I can hear you, right?" Logan scowls

"You're too easy to pick on." You point out, patting his back

"Can you two stop eye fucking and hurry it up? I want to get in line for the Cyclone before it gets too long!" Wade groans

"Do you think we're being rude by leaving Al at home?" You ask as you stand next to Logan in line

"I'm pretty sure Wade left some cocaine out and put Jeopardy on for her. Besides, what would she even do here?" Logan says looking around at the games and rides.

"True. She's probably eating chips on the couch getting crumbs all over the cushions again." You sigh, thinking of all the times you've vacuumed the couch.

The line goes by surprisingly quick and before you know it, the loud clicking of the coaster's tracks fills your ears as you glance over the side of the cart at the people that looked like ants from so high up. Beside you, you're surprised to see Logan looking rather light-headed.

"Are you okay?" You ask, surprised at his obvious fear.

"Fine." He says, in a short tone you're not used to hearing.

You glance down at the lap bar, which he seems to be holding onto like it's going to unlatch at any second.

"You seem tense." You say

"I'm fine." He growls

"Peanut, don't tell me you're scared back there!" Wade calls over his shoulder from the cart in front of you, "This coaster is a piece of history! I bet Cap rode this when he was still skinny!"

"Shut up." Logan commands

The loud click, signifying you have reached the top of the drop has Logan silent. The loud screams of strangers reach your ears as the coaster drops. You can hear Wade and Vanessa, laughing and yelling in joy as the 85 foot drop commences.

"Holy shit!"

Logan's loud curse beside you has you looking over at him. He truly looked terrified. The ride continues and you try to keep yourself from laughing at Logan, whose knuckles are turning white as he grips the restraint.

A fast turn has you lifting slightly out of your seat, and the sound of screeching metal reaches your ears. On your right, Logan's claws have come out, his eyes still squeezed shut.

The ride begins to slow and you slowly reach out, placing your hand over Logan's

"It's over." You say to him

His eyes blink open and he looks over at you and then down to your hand that rests carefully ontop of his. As you roll back into the loading dock, his claws retract, out of sight before someone can point and stare.

"You survived." You joke as you unbuckle yourself

"Barely." He huffs as he steps out of the cart

"See? It wasn't that bad." Wade smiles, hooking Vanessa's arm in his. "Fun right?"

"That's not the word I'm thinking of," Logan says as he sticks close to you

"We should go again," Laura says as you exit the ride

You can't help but notice that Logan looks a bit green as you walk the boardwalk so when Wade suggests the next high-thrill coaster, you decide to stay on the ground with him.

"You don't have to sit with me," Logan says as the two of you get comfortable on a wooden bench

"Just between you and me, that ride Wade is waiting for is insane. I'd never step foot on it." You admit with a smile

"If he goes flying out of the restraints, I hope someone gets it on camera," Logan says

You nod in agreement, deciding it would indeed be a funny image.

Logan still seems rather distant so You glance around your surroundings wondering if there's any way to distract from his recent "near death" experience. Your eyes land on a soft pretzel cart.

"Wait here." You say, gently tapping his thigh with your hand

Two soft pretzels and a couple of overpriced sodas later. you're doing your best to cheer up The Wolverine, who apparently hates thrill rides.

"Want to walk around some more? They're gonna be waiting for at least another hour." He asks

"How'd you eat so quickly?" You ask, men it was like they inhaled their food. Who was he? Kirby?

"Not my fault you're slow." He shrugs

You polish off your food and suggest a walk along the beach, tired of hearing screaming children and the loud noise of rides.

The sun is beginning to set as you kick off your shoes and let the cold water of the Atlantic wash over your feet.

"Kind of cold," Logan comments as he watches the water lap over his feet

"Don't be a baby." You brush him off as the two of you walk along where the waves meet the sand.

Pale orange paints the sky beautifully as you walk in silence, listening to the waves crash and the seagulls squawk. Cool wind messes with your hair as you steal glances at Logan. At one point, you catch him doing the same and you feel your face heat up, turning your gaze to your sandy feet.

You can't say it, or rather won't, but he's pretty like this. Dark blue jeans, paired with a flannel and black leather jacket. You can even see a bit of his chest hair peaking out from the top button of the flannel being undone.

"This is the longest you've gone without insulting me." He points out

"You want me to insult you?" You ask

"No." He says, "Just pointing it out."

You roll your eyes but can't help finding it a bit endearing that he picked up on that.

"You like the beach?" He asks, surveying the picturesque scenery.

"I do." You sigh, "I think I like the forest more though. A rainy day in a house with the woods in my backyard? The way the snow lines the trees in the winter? Those are my favorite."

Logan nods and his hand brushes yours. You pretend not to notice it, the way his skin sends tingles up your spine as the two of you walk along.

"What about you? You like the beach?" You ask

"It's alright. I don't like all the flying rats that steal your food." He says, motioning to the orange sky.

"You mean seagulls?" You ask

"Isn't that what I just said?"

You snort an unladylike laugh and slap your hand over your mouth, fully mortified that just happened.

Logan gives you a mischievous look as you open your mouth to apologize.

"Ever play tag?" He grins

You're not sure if he's two hundred or two as he taps your arm and dashes off, declaring that you're "it". You follow him with a groan, forcing your legs to run after him.

"Logan!" You yell as he puts distance between the two of you, the orange from the last bits of today's sun illuminating him.

There was no way you were catching him like this so, you focus your mind on him. Your brain easily becomes in tune he way his heart quickly beat to pump blood to his legs and arms as he ran. Got him.

Logan lets out a groan of frustration as you approach him, frozen to the sand under your command.

"Looks like you're it now." You say, tapping his shoulder

"This is cheating." He says, "You can't use your powers for this."

"No one is stopping you from using yours." You say

"What would I do? Cut you in half?" He asks

He never gets his answer as you jog off, putting some distance between the two of you before letting him move again. You think you might have a bit of a chance to run further as you move along. Perhaps he isn't as fast as you thought he was,

Big arms startle you when they wrap around your waist, lifting you up. Ocean water splashes onto your pants as you shriek in fear while Logan laughs.

"Looks like you're it again, hon." He says into your ear, spinning you around

"Put me down." You laugh

"I think we should go further into the water, actually." Logan declares

You push at his arms which are like steel as he takes a few steps forward so the water is up to his shins.

"Logan these are new jeans!" You gasp, lying to see if he'll let you go That ocean water was freezing, no way was he going to dunk you in there.

"We have a washer."

His deep voice sends a shot of electricity down your spine as his beard tickles your neck from behind.

"Yeah! Drown her!"

Wade's loud voice carries across the beach as Logan's grip loosens. You push yourself away from him, breathless and dizzy with excitement. The cold water comes up and splashes onto your pants anyway and you grumble a bit, thinking of how cold they'll be on the trip home.

Your foul mood is chased away as Logan leans down to your ear and whispers, "We should drown him, get some peace and quiet back home."

"I'll hold him down." You joke

"Don't give me ideas." Logan grins

As the two of you walk up the beach, you don't miss the way Laura is whispering to Vanessa, no doubt about you and Logan.

The rest of the night is spent with laughter and some of the unhealthiest food you've had in a while. You drag Logan onto the Tilt-a-Whirl, and then the Scrambler, and somehow pull him onto the Teacups, spinning the cup until both of you are dizzy beyond compare. Despite his negative attitude about it all, you can tell he enjoyed the rides, he was just too proud to admit it in front of Wade.

As for Wade, in his words, he was ascending to God level, and someone needed to call Thor and Loki because Asgard needed him. The source of his new ego? He had somehow managed to win three prizes from one of those usually rigged games and now he, Vanessa, and Laura all had matching stuffed dinosaurs.

Unfortunately for Logan, tonight was not his night for the games and he had just lost another five bucks to some rigged ring toss.

"You should probably forget it, Peanut. I'm on a whole different level than you."

Wade's words were certainly under the gruff man's skin as he slapped another five onto the counter, clearly not interested in being outdone.

"Is this their version of comparing dick sizes?" Vanessa asked, tossing an arm around your shoulders as Laura snickered at her joke.

"I'm pretty sure they've already done that." You laugh

You watch as Wade dances around Logan, saying things to him to get him to screw up. If this was your living room, Wade would've been missing a few limbs by now.

One loud shut the fuck up from Logan and a few lucky tosses as well, the worker is unenthusiastically proclaiming his win. Before you know it, a stuffed dolphin is being handed to you by Logan who seems overly smug about his win.

You don't want to admit that he probably spent triple what the toy was worth, so instead you thank him earnestly and ask him for an idea for a name.

"I dunno...what about...Frank?" He says

"You just spent like 30 bucks and you want to name him Frank?" You laugh

"I'm not good at naming shit," Logan grumbles, staring at his feet

"I'm joking." You smile, nudging him with your elbow so he looks at you again," Frank is perfect."

"Frank Howlett." Wade sighs shoving himself in the middle of you and Logan and tossing his arms around both of you, "What a cute family you are! Call me when the baptism planning starts! I want to be the Godfather."

Logan shrugs Wade's arm off his shoulders and pushes him away from the both of you.

"You're an annoying prick."

"Keep degrading me, it's my favorite form of foreplay."

"Ignore him, let's go on the bumper cars." You advise, pointing at the ride that's a few yards away.

You swallow back that fear that often plagues your mind and heart and daringly link your arm around Logan's. He quickly looks down at you and smiles a bit as you pull him off in the direction of the ride.

"Don't take it personally, buddy." Vanessa says, rubbing a hand up and down Wade's back, "You're just not his type."

"First of all, I'm everyone's type," Wade said, turning to catch Laura off guard with a boop to the nose,

"Secondly, when are these two motherfuckers going to kiss? Seriously it's been like five chapters and they're still dancing around like it's the fucking homecoming dance in freshman year!"

"C'mon, let's go ride the bumper cars," Vanessa says, pulling him along, Laura close behind.

"I'm serious! This slow burn can't slow burn much longer, I'll light my toupee on fire and toss it at this writer's fucking cat if something doesn't happen soon!"

Chapter Six

I've never been to Coney Island. So no one is allowed to clock me if I got stuff wrong.

here are some pics of my cat. Don't worry I'm going to keep her safe from Wade and his flaming toupee:

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wavesoutbeingtossed · 7 months ago

Text

My brain is on fire same I can’t sleep and am thinking of this:

The way she writes about marriage/family/commitment through these different situations across the album is soooooooooo interesting.

You have a very intense first experience of it in “The Manuscript,” where it is first dangled in front of her/the narrator’s young, impressionable self as shorthand for real love in a situation that ended up being smoke and mirrors. She’s being told everything she wants to hear by someone who basically thinks it’s just foreplay. In the end, when it’s clear that the other person has no intention of actually making a life with her, it makes her feel used, but she forces herself to recalibrate and become the girl she thinks he and all the other hes want her to be. Easy breezy cool. But there’s a sense of loss in realizing those hopes were merely banter to the other.

You have the “grown up” version of it alluded to in “So Long, London” and “How Did It End?”, the years of putting in work to save a relationship and the “deflation of our dreaming leaving [her] bereft and reeling” leading to them “calling it all off.” The implication is clearly that they built a home together with plans for next steps at a point in time, but the commitment is shattered. (Obviously to me it sounds like marriage.) She’s bitter at spending her “prime” years with someone who ultimately didn’t want to be there, even if he couldn’t or wouldn’t admit it himself.

She felt like she did everything she was supposed to, but they were learning the right steps to different dances at as it were. Those dreams were at one point shared, but in the end they weren’t right for each other and she admits that, though bitterly (“I founded the club she’s heard great things about” eg the years she put in for him to help him grow up will end up benefiting his new lover, “but I’m not the one,” “you’ll find someone,” etc.). Mixed in with all this of her resentment of him wasting her youth (sacrificing herself at the altar), and his resentment of her for reasons less defined, and insinuations of betrayal in the shadows. The fantasy of the whole package disappears into the ether, yet she still has no answers as to how they got there.

Then in comes the wolf in sheep’s clothing in many of the rest of the songs, the one who promises her all those things she’s dreamed of since she was a kid instantly. After years of moulding herself to other men’s desires, someone comes in and tells her exactly what she wants to hear at the most vulnerable time of her life, as though the universe is answering her prayers, like some sort of cosmic payback for all she’s suffered, and it’s the most intoxicating drug of all. She’s gone from her wish for a family life feeling like she’s in a way being used for her body, to it being used as a chain to a relationship gone sour, to having someone put a metaphorical ring on her finger and tell her he wants to have babies with her, fuck those other guys.

In her grief and stupor, it’s too good to be true, which is exactly why she falls for it. But of course, it’s all an illusion, because this wolf is an amalgamation of the worst of all the men who came before him. He tells her everything she wants to hear not to make her dreams come true, but to make his. He takes the worst parts of these scenarios to make his move: he’ll stand by her, he’ll commit, he’ll do it out in the open under the spotlight’s glare (all things desperately lacking in her last relationship), but after he beds her he stabs her in the back in private and leaves her. He got what he wanted at the expense of her losing everything she wanted, this time as her world caved in seemingly for good. She feels like she gave up everything she thought she might have had for a chance that this is where the universe has been point her all along, only to be left broken for good (you represent the loss of my life as I knew it).

Then there are two sort of codas to this. In “But Daddy I Love Him” we get a sassier reimagining of “Love Story,” where the girl with the scarlet letter is mouthy and crass and tells everyone to go fuck themselves for cursing her in the first place, choosing her love above all else. And no, those haters can’t come to her wedding. Her daddy may have come around, but they sure can’t. Finally it seems someone is choosing her and will someday give her these things, and she’ll be able to show all the naysayers. (Also interestingly one of the more fictionally-veiled songs which ends happily vs the diaristic ones that don’t.)

Then of course there’s “So High School,” our first glimpse into what the future holds. Probably the only unabashedly happy (nay… electric?) song on the album, it’s all about reclaiming the buzz of youth (which is a whole other post) with a new lover. “Are you gonna marry, kiss or kill me? It’s just a game but really, I’m betting on all three for us two.” It’s, er, a direct nod to a certain now-infamous interview, but again, she’s staking her claim on her future, if not certain then at least hopeful again. This time the prospect doesn’t come with a “but.” It’s not, we’ll be pushing strollers but actually you’re too young. It’s not, we had these dreams for our future but actually I can’t move forward. It’s not, I’m going to promise you a ring and a baby but only until my needs are met and then I’m out. It’s, I know what I wanted and I’m not leaving, and thanks to that now she stays too.

The album dealt with the theme not at all in the way I expected, but is absolutely fascinating.

#writing letters addressed to the fire #me thinking too hard about Taylor lyrics #the tortured poets department #i have many thoughts #No brain power

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writingduhh · 6 months ago

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Hii, i was wondering if you were able to write something for hansumfella (tyler) ? I was thinking he talks about him having a girlfriend but no body believes him until he finally brings her into a stream and everyone is amazed because they thought he was joking !! but anything works haven’t rlly seen hansumfella content !! 😅😅

YES!!!!!! Hope this is alright! It’s my first hansumfella fic so I’m super new at this….

Hansumfella || Stream Surprise

You and Tyler had been openly dating for several months, thoroughly enjoying the simplicity and joy your relationship brought into your lives. However, as Tyler's online alter ego, HansumFella, began to skyrocket in popularity, it became clear that managing your private and public lives would need some recalibration. Out of mutual concern for privacy and the unpredictable nature of internet fame, you both agreed it would be best to keep your relationship out of the public eye for the time being.

During one of his lively Roblox streams—a session filled with laughter and playful banter—Tyler unexpectedly let a secret slip, a revelation that even surprised him.

“And yeah, for those wondering why I’ve been a bit off-schedule lately, I’ve been spending some time with my amazing girlfriend,” he mentioned casually, taking a sip of water as the chat erupted into a frenzy.

“You what now, Tyler?!” one viewer exclaimed, their message quickly engulfed by a wave of shocked and curious reactions.

“HE HAS A GF?!”

“NOOOO 😭”

“GIRLFRIEND REVEAL”

“I knew it Ong”

“Proof or it didn’t happen.”

Despite the disbelief, Tyler merely chuckled and steered the conversation back to his gaming strategy, his relaxed demeanor doing little to stop the onslaught of comments.

“Alright chat, calm down I didn’t even say anything! You’re just imagining it! You’re gaslighting yourself. Let’s focus back to absolutely destroying children in best dressed” He jests in his usual dry sense of humor.

In the weeks that followed, each stream dedicated a few minutes to viewers probing for more details about you. Tyler kept his answers vague, strategically revealing just enough to maintain interest without confirming anything definitive.

“What does she look like?”

“Favorite thing about her?”

“I still think he’s lying.”

“Well she looks absolutely gorgeous. Absolute smoke show.” He playfully remarks before continuing.

“Favorite thing about her? Oo that’s a hard one, there’s so much to love. I’ll say sense of humor.”

The curiosity and incessant questioning from his fanbase eventually led Tyler to plan a significant reveal. On a crisp summer evening, his usual streaming time, Tyler adjusted his webcam to capture more than just his usual gaming setup.

“Alright, everyone,” Tyler announced as he started his stream, “tonight is a special night. You've all been incredibly patient—or incredibly nosy,” he joked with a wink at the camera. “I think it's time you meet someone very special to me.”

He reached out and extended a hand off-camera. After a brief moment, another hand appeared, and you stepped into view, your smile bright yet slightly shy as you waved to the camera.

“Hello stream! Is that what I call them?” You ask, a little overwhelmed with the situation

“You can call them whatever you like, babe.” He chuckles, pulling you to sit down beside him.

The chat paused for a split second before erupting.

“OMHH SHES REAL?!”

“She’s so beautiful!!”

“HE WASN’T LYING 💀”

“Literally how did he land her?”

“She’s ours now”

Tyler’s grin widened as he read the comments aloud, his arm comfortably encircling you as you sat comfortably on his lap.

“Everyone, this is Y/N. She’s the reason I’ve been so distracted, so you can blame her for the lack of content.” He jests, earning a playful eye roll from you.

The stream proceeded exceptionally well. You were a natural, laughing and engaging with the chat as if you’d had been a part of the community for years. Tyler felt a mix of pride and relief; not only did his audience adore you, but him as well.

A few weeks after your debut on his stream, Tyler decided it was time to make your relationship Instagram official. He chose a candid photo of you two together, taken during a sunset hike. Both laughing, bathed in the golden hour light, capturing a beautiful moment.

Tyler uploaded the photo with the caption that simply read, “Mine ;)” and tagged you.

The post received thousands of likes and comments in no time. Fans and friends filled the comments section with hearts, congratulatory messages, and more than a few playful jabs at having doubted him in the first place.

Tyler leaned back, watching the notifications pop up one after another, you sitting beside him, head resting on his shoulder.

“Was it worth the wait?” Tyler asked, his voice a soft murmur.

“Definitely worth it,” you replied, squeezing his hand.

#hansumfella fanfic #hansumfella x reader #hansumfella #hansumfella tyler

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theplumsoldier · 1 year ago

Text

loverboy

summary: carmen makes a move on you while you think he's still got a girlfriend. could've gone smoother but you end up inviting him

pairing: carmy berzatto x afab!reader

word count: 4,2k

warnings: insecurities, self-doubt, small lies (carm makes you believe he lives closer to you than he does), vulgar language, mention of "setting boundaries" of a not-yet-existing-fwb-relationship, 18+ MDNI; smut, unprotected sex, semi-public grinding, oral (f&m receiving) soft!carm, idiots in love, friends to lovers!!

"You know, I don't think I've said this." He hadn't. "But I'm-I'm really—we're all really glad to have you here."

He was nodding to himself as he said it, and he hoped you didn't notice the hesitation. Carmy wasn't for a second doubtful that they were happy—he was certainly happy that you had joined the crew during the hectic weeks prior to The Bear's opening.

It was just that now, here, sitting alone with you in the back alley of the restaurant, sharing one of the bottles of expensive-as-shit Coup Beaujolais, he was getting unsure of himself. On whether he had completely misread your banter. He wasn't very good with that, flirting—never knew when someone was hitting on him and always double-checking whether he himself was, in fact, hitting on someone. Richie had said the chemistry between you guys was more dangerous than Fak recalibrating. Fucking stupid, he thought, but it made him think.

And then Carmy realized he had been flirting with you, in his own stupid fucking way which he worried you hadn't picked up on. Shit, he hadn't noticed it before Richie told him. Now that he sat there, with you, alone, he wondered if Richie had been fucking with him again.

Carmy wanted to know how you felt about him, but he didn't want to fuck up as was his specialty lately—didn't wanna make you uncomfortable, didn't wanna make anything weird.

"Yeah, uh. Thanks, chef," said you, chewing at your bottom lip to ease the tension. Carmy had a real habit of making situations awkward. "I'm glad you'll have me."

Phrasing.

Carm nodded, the persistent way he does whenever he's turning words in his head. You could almost hear the gears scraping.

"You always seem so cool—about everything. Like, even though we're jumpin' off the fuckin' walls, screaming n'shit, you'll just—you're collected. S'a real good quality, you know?"

You grinned, thinking of those exact memories, some just a couple of hours old. "Yeah, well—I'm sure it's more hectic n'the kitchen, right? Like there's, open fire, sharp knives and shit. Gotta be jumpin', like, all the time, yeah? To avoid the obstacles n'stuff."

"Yeah," he chuckled. "Peter Parker-type shit."

"Yeah."

You held the plastic cup out and he poured you another one.

"Anyway, keeps me sane, you know? I think—I think at some point you made me realize that—that, you know, it's not normal to fuckin' scream all day. Like I didn't even realize I got fuckin' migraines 'til it was quiet, you feel me?"

It made you bubbly, to hear that Carmen did in fact appreciate having you be a part of the team.

You just sat there, quietly watching him. His bicep popped when he poured a slob into his own cup. You watched as his tongue darted out to wet his lips before taking a sip.

You sat like that, speaking mindlessly for a while, sharing experiences and goofing around. You loved this, getting to know him better, but when you suddenly found that he had sought closer to you, you felt your heart leap.

His body was so close you could feel the heat of his body radiate. It was intoxicating, more than the wine and though your subconscious reminded you it was wrong to lean into his welcoming touch, you couldn't help but forget what was right and wrong.

His crystal blue eyes caught the light from the street lamp, and you were mesmerized as he looked into your soul. You felt vulnerable but safe in his company.

Though there had been much lead-up, it seemed to come out of the blue. Carmy leaned in, and his eyes were fixated on your lips. Before your lips touched, your senses returned and you moved back against the fence.

"Yo, what the fuck are you doing?"

Fuck.

"Wait—I'm sorry! I'm sorry."

"You have a girlfriend!"

Oh.

"Wha—no, no—shit, that's not—" he stumbled back, running a hand over his dazed face, dragging the expression down with it.

Fuck—fuck! Carmen thought he must look like a fucking jagoff.

He stood with his back to you, but you could see the way his broad shoulders heaved with every.

You pushed, not appreciating the silence. "Yeah, no—her name is Claire. You've been dating her a couple months now and known her, for like, forever. That ring any bells?"

When Carmen turned around to face you, he looked defeated. He then crouched down beside you again.

"We broke up."

What?

Carmen told you how he had had an existential crisis during opening night, how he had thought he vented to Tina while stuck in the walk-in, and Claire had heard everything he had said. You could sense the sadness in his voice, but there was no regret. It spread a warm feeling in your chest, and you immediately felt a pang of guilt. When you had first met Carm, he had been with Claire and so the immediate attraction you had felt—well, you had obviously tried to suppress that.

"—I guess I just... I realized I can't both manage a—a restaurant and a relationship. I—I don't know, it don't come natural to me."

Your brows were furrowed, mixed feeling prickling at your skin. "So... why'd you try to kiss me just now?"

Again, he looked despondent.

"I—fuck, I don't know, I've—I guess I've just been feeling this for a while now, with—with you and I dunno. Richie's been getting in my head and I had a stupid thought and figured fuck it, you know?"

It wasn't a question but he was looking for an answer on your expression. Carmen feared you had stopped him from kissing you, not because you thought he had a girlfriend, but because you didn't want to kiss him.

Carmy watched as you looked thoughtfully at the ground, his hands fidgeting as you did the same.

Fuck.

It's over, he thought to himself.

Battling the voices in your head telling you not to, you said: "You know, it's not that the thought of kissing you, like, disgusts me."

His head tilted upward, hope in his sorry eyes.

"No?" he quizzed sheepishly.

"No," you chuckled. "I mean, I've thought about it before."

Carm lit up. "Ye—yeah?"

"Yeah," nodded you, wetting your lips as you recalled your fantasies. "It'd probably be stupid though, right?"

"So stupid," he agreed, nodding vigorously as if trying to shake the thought. It would be fucking stupid. He knew it. But it didn't deter him. Carm wanted to take the chance. He shouldn't, after all, he broke it off with Claire because he "wasn't ready". Why would he be ready now? "Still want to, though."

So badly. It felt more like an urge; a need rather than a want.

"So do it," you finally tested.

If you didn't, you were sure you'd back out, run into the kitchen with your tail between your legs. But you would regret that, you knew it. You tried to convince yourself you shouldn't back away. You wanted this—had for a while. Carm was the one who should second-guess himself, not you. He had ended a relationship because he couldn't dedicate himself and now he wanted to give it another shot. With you. It made you desperate, knowing he wanted you like you wanted him. Still, you worried he would kiss you and regret it immediately, confirmed in his suspicions—he didn't have time for romance. Keep your eye on the price.

"Fuck it," breathed he, putting aside an internal battle and leaned closer, knocking aside the bottle of wine as he pressed his hungry lips to you.

Your lips felt plump against his, chewed with anticipation and soft with spit. You tasted like a perfect dessert.

Lost in the growing heat, you cradled his face, swiping your warm tongue over his needy lips and Carmen did not hesitate to grant you entrance. A desperate although soft whine escaped him and you swallowed it down, living for the way he desired you.

Without interrupting the dance your tongues twirled, Carmen's large palm grasped your hip and pulled you into his lap. Automatically you ground down on him and moaned at the sensation of what you did to him.

You'd thought about how he would feel against you. From behind the bar, you always had a perfect view of his station and often got distracted by the way he moved—the way his mouth curled when he would scream commands, the way his arms would flex as he worked. It was a surprise nobody had filed a complaint against you. On more than one occasion you had mixed the wrong drink or spilled liquor because you just couldn't keep your eyes off of him. It was unprofessional, but he was mesmerizing like a starry sky; the longer you looked, the deeper you fell into the abyss.

Carmen mumbled a curse under his breath as he broke the kiss, breathing heavily as he ground up into your clothes sex.

"Do—doesn't feel so stupid, huh?"

You grinned and shook your head lightly, pressing your forehead against his.

"If we're gonna fuck we should probably talk about it," you said blatantly. "Set some ground rules."

Carmen was caught off guard for a second. He knew what he wanted but when you said it so casually it made something twitch in him.

His eyes were attached to your lips. They looked so delicious, kissed rough and he pulled at your bottom lip with his thumb before he even registered it.

"Probably," he breathed even though he wasn't quite sure what your words actually meant. He was quite literally thinking with his cock.

Carmen clashed his insatiable lips to yours again, but the second he did so, the back door to The Bear clicked open and Marcus appeared, garbage bags in hand. By the time you looked up at him, you had clumsily shuffled off of Carmen, sitting awkwardly with your legs to your chest. You weren't sure what he'd seen nor what he made of it.

"Hey," he hummed, moving to sling the plastic bags into the container.

"Sup, bro," acknowledged Carm, putting his hands on his hips, suddenly standing up, playing it cool.

"Imma call it a night," Marcus said. "See y'all tomorrow."

"Yeah, uh—good job t'day."

Marcus disappeared and Carmen looked back down at you, holding out a hand to help you to your feet. The interruption had broken the spell.

"Can I walk you home?" he offered. It made more sense to him, taking you home. He wasn't about to violate health code on the kitchen floor of his own restaurant.

"You live close to Maygrey?"

No.

"Yeah."

The walk might do him some good, he figured. Perhaps the chivalrous gesture would help him get lucky tonight, and even if you decided you were not about to fool around with him, he could at least say he had done a good deed today.

Carm hadn't realized you made a twenty-minute walk every night, and although he often did the same, it bothered him a great deal. He hadn't had any uncomfortable encounters himself, but he knew Sugar had. One time when she had been late to dinner at his place because of some creep bothering her on the street, and he had asked her why she hadn't called him (he would have picked her up), she told him it was not a first nor was it a last. It angered him, knowing it was not unusual for a woman to feel afraid when walking alone.

Carmen recalled your mention of ground rules, but you didn't once embark on the topic. Instead of talking about sex, you joked as if you were friends and nothing more. It made him wonder if you regretted kissing him.

Of course you invited him up. How could you not?

Carm looked dubious suddenly and you raised a brow, giving him a soft smile.

"I won't be mad if you turn me down now. No hard feelings."

He realized you were just a pair of self-doubting idiots—none of you wanting to pressure the other into something you might regret. And Carmen knew he might just do that—not because he was unsure whether he wanted this with you (he hadn't wanted something this much in a long time), no—he feared he would find himself in the same emotional clusterfuck he had with Claire.

Something about you made him want to throw caution to the wind and become the loverboy he so pathetically wanted to be for you.

How could he ever turn you down? A simple kiss in a back alley had dragged him in too deep.

You stood atop the staircase and watched curiously as Carmen closed the space. His hand cradled your face and he planted a soft kiss on your lips, not as vigorous a kiss as earlier that night, but just as hungry, just as passionate.

He then gave you a reassuring look and you knew you had it bad cause you could've sworn you fell in love with him just then.

Grabbing his hand you dragged him along with you, eagerly pulling him up the steps to your apartment, not wasting a goddamn second in connecting your lips again.

Carm chuckled against your lips as you pushed him into the door, closing it with him as if locking you away from the outside world. It was just the two of you.

Carmen was too far away to realize you had undone his belt until the familiar clinking sounded. He was so fucking hard by now, aroused by your eagerness. It was almost mortifying.

He composed himself. "Where's the bedroom?"

You gave him a look. "It's a one-room apartment, Carm."

For the first time, he looked around and got the message. The kitchen was awkwardly lodged into a small corner of the living room and the living room was also the bedroom. There was a door three feet ahead but he was unsure whether it was a closet or a bathroom.

"So when I fuck you on the couch I'll also be fucking you in the dining room?"

You looped your arms around his front from behind, pointing to the corner of the room. "Yeah, n'the trashcan over there's the bathroom."

He spun around, placing his large hands on your hips to keep you close. "Cozy."

There was a glimmering to his eyes, and his contagious charm infected you with an enticing smirk. You leaned in, cradling your face in the crook of his neck, inhaling his scent.

"So you gonna fuck me Carmy? Or are ya just all talk?" teased you, planting wet kisses against his throat, sucking the place below his ear. That's the spot.

In a flash, he hooked your legs around his waist and you would've been embarrassed by the stupid fucking giggle escaping you if a low moan hadn't interrupted you. His restrained cock felt even bigger now, pressing up into your clothed crotch.

You could hardly wait to see his weeping head.

Carmen straddled you on the couch, breaking your lips apart to shift his focus. Peppering kisses down your neck, your chest heaved with a shaky breath, whining for him. You wondered if he would flip you over and fuck you roughly if you asked nicely.

Another time you told yourself. Tonight, you were too ecstatic as he worshipped your body like the prettiest fucking tenderloin he'd ever seen. The thought made you smile into your arm, gasping as his hot breath swept over your belly.

"So fuckin' beautiful," he murmured against your skin, tongue poking out to taste the flesh.

Writhing beneath him, you tugged at his curls, and he swore he was about to bust right there, with your glossy and dazed eyes blinking down at him. Fuck, Carm wanted to hear you beg for him.

"What is it, baby girl?" he taunted, looking curiously at you while he peppered kisses across the skin he exposed by lifting up your shirt.

When you ground up your hips to show him where you wanted him, he kept you pressed against the cushion. You cried out.

"Carmy!" you mewled, helplessly thrashing.

After removing your shirt, he praised your patience: "you're so good for me," he said and unbuttoned your jeans. "Tell me what you want, sweet girl."

You threw your head back into a pillow with a thud, wanting to both strangle and fuck him (which you had wanted many times already since you started bartending at The Bear) as he pressed teasing, open-mouthed kisses by the seams of your panty line.

"Just—mpff! Fuck me already, Carm," you whined.

His face tilted up and you wanted to slap the smirk right off of his sly face. "In a minute, baby."

As he moved back a little, you thought he was finally going to give you what you wanted, but when you arched your back with need he used your movements to flip you onto your stomach. He roughly placed you as he pleased, propping you on your knees, and slid in under you.

"Just a quick taste, baby," he drawled.

Realizing he was gonna eat you out, you melted completely, seated perfectly on his face as was his wish. You barely managed to get comfortable before he hooked a finger through the leg of your underwear, the cold of his ring making you shiver and he dug in like a man starved.

A sound bordering on a thirsty moan and a dry cry escaped you. Carmen looped his arms around your thighs. His tongue explored the nooks of your lips, lapping slick from your folds and into your pussy.

A string of curses left your lips as he relished your juices, groaning into your cunt. He couldn't help but relieve some of the pressure on his impossibly hard cock by palming himself through his jeans.

He had lost himself for a moment there and when he looked up, he became doe-eyed with adoration. You had removed your bra.

His hand left his cock and slid up your curves, palming your breast instead and the other went to deftly work your clit. He elicited a muffled shriek from you, obviously surprised by the sudden added sensation to the delicate bud.

"Carmy," you panted, grinding your hips against his mouth, all of it seeming both too much and not enough. He was going to ruin you and you would let him. "Fu—fuck! M'gonna come, Carm."

Your confession merely made him more eager, more hungry and he concentrated on bringing you closer, encouraging each wave of your hips with a low moan. Carmen let you fuck his face, rolling and grinding on him to persuade your release closer. You grabbed at his curls to steady yourself as it came in euphoric waves, moaning, crying, whimpering, and grinning as he lapped your cum, savoring every last drop. It quickly became too much though, and as his nose tickled your sensitive clit, you fell apart, tilting over and crashing above him.

"Ho—holy fuck," you panted and he stood up from the couch, ridding himself of his clothes until there was nothing but a gold chain gleaming at his chest.

Still recovering from your orgasm, you gaped at his size. The head was red and strained, pre-cum beading the slit making it look like it was crying. The shaft was long with protruding veins drawing purple along the length and he was thick, too thick to fit in the circle created when you connect the tip of your index with that of your thumb.

He was perfect.

Carmen looked a bit flustered from your shameless gawking but you couldn't help it. "You're beautiful, Carm."

He grinned sheepishly down at you, grasping your legs, pulling you to the edge of the couch, resting your calves on his shoulders.

"You are," he insisted, pressing his lips to yours in a feverishly soft kiss as he aligned his head with your folds.

Gasping, you took a second to relax around his head, knowing it would sting painfully if you didn't. You wouldn't let anything ruin this moment. Not with his eyes gazing so intensely down at you; not with saliva connecting your mouths with a string, not with him before you like this, looking like he was carved by fucking Donatello, nothing hiding an inch of his tantalizingly soft skin bar the gold chain dangling from his neck.

You instinctively edged closer, putting a hand on his shoulder to guide him into you. He eased into you as he kissed you hungrily—insatiable, always needing more of your taste.

Carm held his breath as he bottomed out, finally exhaling a shaky breath. He couldn't believe how good you felt around him, hugging—no squeezing the life out of his cock as you desperately clawed on his back, feeling every cleft and hill, moaning into his mouth. He hoped your nails would leave marks on his skin.

With your forehead pressed against his, you looked down with hooded eyes and watch as he slid in, devastatingly slow, inch by inch. Carm followed your gaze.

"God, look how good you're takin' me, baby. Doin' so well f'me—doin' so good," he groaned, head digging into your neck, licking, sucking, biting.

He commenced a thrusting-grinding pace, reaching every crevice inside you, tickling all the right places. You cried out, a mixture of pain and pleasure so delicious as he poked and prodded places untouched. He felt unreal.

Soon Carmen drilled into you like a madman, steadying himself against your hips, rutting into you at a bruising pace. You'd feel him long after he was gone.

You held him close by his neck, securing him by threading your fingers through that damn sexy gold chain and the locks of his hair. His brows were furrowed, concentration and bliss evident in his expression.

You begged him to go faster, harder—before you knew it he granted your wish and his hand had returned to your poor clit, and you grasped whatever you could, the armrest, cushions, him.

You chanted his name, exchanging your vocabulary for his name so that he was all you knew. Carm fucked you through your orgasm, chasing his own as you cried his name. The combination of your moans, your begging, and the vulgar sounds of your skin slapping—it made him fucking delirious.

His bicep flexed delectably as he put all his weight on his right arm, making a considerate pause for a sweet but overwhelmingly intense kiss, only to thrust impossibly deeper.

Feeling his consistent pace become erratic, you begged him. "Please, please, Carm—fill me up."

You could feel your frantic pleas going straight to his cock as he twitched inside you, groaning—but fuck it sounded like a frail whimper.

The furrow between his brows deepened, a red blush painting his face and chest.

"You're fuckin' unreal," he manages, shaking his head.

Carmy's pace became sloppier and more desperate, cursing into your mouth as he stuttered, a strangled moan signaling his high.

He filled you up, squirting white ropes of velvety cum into you. You felt his seed trickle out as if there was not enough room for his generous load. Then he collapsed beside you.

You lay still for a minute or so, chests heaving in unison as you came back down to Earth.

"Fuck," he said after some time, pronouncing the cuss as if he had just learned the word.

You chuckled, agreeing. "Yeah."

"Shit, lemme get ya somethin' for the—"

"No, no—don't worry," you stopped him, already getting up before he could do much. He watched you go, admiring your naked body. You reached between your legs, feeling his cum trickle down your thighs. "Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck."

Carmy laughed when he realized what was going on, a sort of childish grin he couldn't hold back from rumbling in his chest. He hadn't felt this comfortable in a long time.

You disappeared out of sight. He heard water running splash and he figured you were cleaning yourself. Carmen wondered if he would get to fill you up again—preferably sometime soon.

You returned with a damp washcloth, your feet padding softly against the floor as you approached him. Carm couldn't help but smile endearingly as he went to move to free up space for you, but you placed a soft hand on his thigh as if telling him to lie still instead.

"Oh—" he began when he noticed the washcloth, but to his surprise you wrapped your lips around his cock, earning a strangled moan from him. Your warm tongue licked him clean and you hollowed your cheeks around him as if vacuuming his mess.

The pleasure turned into a ticklish feeling and he felt like grinning and kicking his feet suddenly. You looked up through your lashes, and he felt as if his eyes had remolded into heart shapes.

He brushed a strand of hair behind your ear, looking at you with such tooth-rotting affection it made him wonder if he loved you. In this situation, it felt natural to say to you—it felt easy and welcome, right on the tip of his tongue.

You offered him an enchanting smile and took his large hand to your mouth, kissing his knuckles, then began cleaning his cock with the washcloth.

Carmen's head dropped back at your touch and he exhaled deeply.

A smile danced across his face and he wiped his forehead with the back of his hand; the one you had kissed.

What am I going to do with you?

#theplumsoldier #carmy x reader #carmy the bear #carmy berzatto smut #carmen berzatto #carmy berzatto #the bear carmy #the bear #jeremy allen white #the bear fx

2K notes · View notes

notbecauseofvictories · 2 months ago

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I'm cautiously gearing myself up for a conversation with bff where I tell her that we need to recalibrate our relationship, and....I genuinely don't think I've ever had a serious, emotional conversation with someone I care about before.

I've never been a Conversation Haver; I tend to take the approach that people can't significantly change without meaningful reason, and since I am not and never have been someone's Reason, I cannot prompt change. Therefore, my choices are (a) live with what is; or (b) end/limit the relationship.

But....this is my best friend in the world. I do love her. I just can't keep on as we've been going, where it's less a friendship and more ten minute intervals where I talk about my life, after which the focus switches. I once sat in a bar for two hours waiting for her; afterwards, she asked if I wanted to stay in her hotel room like I didn't have to get up in another 5 hours and drive to work. She texted me during my recent trips, and when I said I was traveling she asked no further questions. Said nothing unless it was about what she was reading, what she was doing. I'm not even sure she realized I was traveling at all, just unavailable to her.

I can give a high-level summary of her PhD thesis. I'm not confident she knows where I work.

Truthfully, part of this is that we simply have different social styles....but still. Coming back from my family trip, I said I was tired and trying to get work straightened out, she should go ahead and plan something for the holiday! I was free! Only for me to text a week later....and promptly have her join me, for my previously standalone plans. Oh, and she asked me to bring my camera, because she wants headshots for her new job.

I still love her very much, but if this is the kind of relationship we're going to have? I need less of it.

#I've been trying to script this conversation for two weeks.#doing dishes and talking to myself trying to get the wording right.#dumping my laundry in the washer and stating ''I know grad school requires a lot of self-focus but''#''and if this is all you feel comfortable doing now that's fine!'' I mutter to myself while vacuuming #''our relationship can adjust'' I sigh to my pillows at night. ''but I need to know that's what you want.''#(.......I didn't actually mind sitting the bar. the guy on the next stool over was a theoretical mathematician #working on cryptography. so it was a good conversation.#but that's my point! I can have a good conversation with anyone. I am a champion asker of questions.#I need bff to figure out how to ask me questions of me so occasionally I can be the one talking.)#celestial emporium of benevolent knowledge

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heartstringsduet · 2 months ago

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In this Sweet Surrender

Part Eight of the Let Me verse. A series exploring the canon relationship of Carlos and TK, while adding a slowly devoloping Dom/sub dynamic to it. Summary: A vacation is what both of them need to recalibrate after tragedy and as with everything, Carlos is prepared. The bags are packed, his mind filled with every scenario of how to unravel TK completely within three days. Thank you @herefortarlos and @lightningboltreader for being my betas for this multi-chapter beast. 💓

“Will you wrap me up like a present?” TK had asked when Carlos unveiled the ropes from his bag. He’d draped himself against Carlos back, his voice betraying the arousal behind his tease. “Or one of those porn magazine covers? Suspend me up by my feet?”

“Not today,” Carlos replied. “Today is about showing you what being in rope feels like, figure out what you like and what you don’t. And to show you what I can make you do with it.”

“Make me do? Why does it sound like you’re handling one of your family’s horses?”

It wasn’t a comparison Carlos would have made, but as the ropes form another diamond over TK’s ribs and he can pull at him from the connection at the center, he can see how it’s not totally wrong. TK’s body follows with the tiniest tug.

As a teenager, Carlos had earned a bit of pocket money by breaking in foals and skittish horses at Tía Lucy’s ranch. He’d never liked how his uncles did it, pain the only motivator, when Carlos could prove that building trust with the horse first, consistency and unwavering firm grip but gentle body language would make any horse trot behind him within the week.

Gentle tugs. TK follows. A little shove to show TK that the rope will hold, and TK tumbles like there is no resistance. A tap to his thigh and he spreads them as Carlos leads his upper body down between them onto the mattress. TK’s knuckles are white around the natural position he took as he folded them behind his back. He releases it at the hint of Carlos’ fingers brushing against them.

[1/4] [2/4] [3/4] [4/4]

#tarlos #tarlos fic #let me series #fic: in this sweet surrender #911 lone star fic #dom carlos reyes #sub tk strand #michelle writes #michelle's fics #tarlos d/s #look a new banner just for this part

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not-to-me · 10 months ago

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Something About These Hands (DW One-Shot)

(My gif. Also my first gif ever, so don’t judge it sbbsh)

Twelfth Doctor x GN!reader — 18+ NO MINORS

Requested by anon: “may I request the twelfth doctor with a daddy kink and hand worship please?”

Summary: The heating system of the TARDIS had malfunctioned, leaving you cold as the Doctor tries to fix it. He eventually finds ways to make you forget about the cold.

(Yes, i know the Doctor is supposed to run cold, but I have a hc that every incarnation is different in that aspect and Twelve definitely runs hot)

Warnings: light smut, no sex, mentions of it though, pre-established relationship, hand kink, daddy kink.

———

“Doctor, I— I’m cold,” you said as you stiffly stood and watched the Doctor work on fixing the TARDIS’ heating system.

“No wonder! You humans are always complaining about something. Really, it’s a wonder it’s not a sport at your Olympics.” He grumbled the last part primarily to himself, but you heard it just as well and rolled your eyes. Always the grumpy old man, your Doctor. You knew him well enough to know he’s softer than he likes to admit, however.

“But Doctor—“

“Sit down. I’m almost done recalibrating it…” the Doctor trailed off as he refocused on the task at hand. You sighed shakily from the cold and returned to the chair you had equipped with plenty of blankets. Sitting down, you grumpily pulled the blankets around you once more, trembling slightly from the low temperature of the control room.

———

You must have dozed off because you jolted awake when the Doctor loudly and proudly exclaimed that he had fixed the problem. Having gotten up from under the console, he approached you with a soft look on his face.

“Give it an hour, and the temperature will have returned to human standards…” The Doctor tilted his head, examining you.

You only made a pitiful noise in reply. Your sleep-addled mind and the still quite freezing room had dulled your mind.

“Tsk, you really are cold, aren’t you?”

You glared at him. How could he have doubted that? Then, a full-body shiver made you look away again.

“Come here,” he said, “Let me warm you up, sweets.” He stood close to you now. One of his hands came to rest on your cheek, guiding you to look up at him while he placed the other on the back of your neck. He was surprisingly warm, and you couldn’t help but lean into his touch, sitting up straighter in the chair in favour of being closer to him. He pulled you in for a hug. Your cheek rested against his tummy as he stood and held you, absentmindedly rubbing his thumb against your neck. You could feel the heat slowly returning to your body, but you still shivered. Despite your coldness, you felt warm, fuzzy feelings well up inside you as the Doctor comforted you. He could be a little rude at times, but often enough, he was like this. It tugged at your heart in a certain way.

Then his hand on your neck squeezed slightly in what was probably meant to be a comforting gesture, but your brain made connections faster than you could repress them. That felt good. You made a noise that was part sigh, part whine, but the Doctor didn’t say anything. He only retreated from the hug and knelt down on one knee so he could run his warm hands up and down your arms, heating you up. You giggled as the Doctor got his concentration face on, clearly intent on his mission. He finished by grabbing both your icy hands between his warm ones and sandwiching them there for a bit. You looked into each other’s eyes at this moment, and you saw the care he had for you whilst he saw the love you had for him, and he wondered why. But that was a question for another time. Your eyes fell to your entwined hands. Or, more accurately, the Doctor’s hands. You had always had a fascination with them, so skilled in what they did. They were pretty, too, with wrinkles and veins and everything. You got lost in them.

Once the Doctor was satisfied with your hands’ temperature, he lifted them to kiss them both, making you lift your eyes to his once more. Something must have given your thoughts away because the Doctor had gained a mischievous look on his face.

“You’re thinking so loud I can almost hear you,” he said, a smug grin appearing on his lips, then added, “Careful, you might pull a muscle.” You glared at him again, this time half-heartedly, as warmth pooled in your lower regions. You could taste the sudden sexual tension in the air.

He narrowed his own eyes and stood up, bringing a hand up to your chin, holding it between his thumb and index finger, making you look up at him once more from your seated position. His lips were slightly parted, and you subconsciously mimicked him, sparking an impulse in the Doctor’s mind even he couldn’t resist.

His thumb moved to rest on your lower lip, pushing it down slightly, but mostly waiting to see what you would do. He didn’t have to wait long as your pupils dilated, and you submissively darted out your tongue to lick the pad of his thumb. Your eyelids fluttered, and you sighed, taking his thumb between your soft lips.

The Doctor looked at you like you were his whole world at that moment. Here you were, little, fragile, human you, suckling on his thumb and looking up at him with admiration in your eyes. It was his turn to shiver.

“Something about these hands, yes?” His voice had deepened and gained a more gravelly tinge. You hummed around his thumb in reply. His blue eyes darkened in lust as you bobbed your head as if you were sucking his cock. This made him pull out his thumb, only to replace it with his index and middle fingers. First, resting the tips on your bottom lip, denying you the right to have them in your mouth and making you whine, then slowly pushing them inside. Your tongue immediately caressed them, working them like they could bring him to his peak. You lustfully moaned around his fingers, erasing any doubt in the Doctor’s mind that you were aroused.

“That’s good, little one…” he praised you, absolutely transfixed on your lips and the feeling of your mouth around his slender but calloused fingers. You silently thanked the universe for giving him the idea that he should play the guitar, as you enjoyed the added texture immensely. Both now, but also when he’d make love to you, grabbing your hips and waist, or when he’d fuck you hard and hold your wrists above your head. The calloused fingertips always did something to you.

The Doctor started thrusting his fingers into your mouth, careful not to trigger your gag reflex. Your eyes glazed over, and you stilled your movements, letting him fingerfuck your mouth. You squirmed slightly in your seat, feeling very needy, but you mainly remained still for him, earning his praises.

“So dirty, letting daddy fuck you like this… Those pretty lips of yours are always just begging for something between them; you don’t even care what it is.” He chuckled, then added an afterthought.

“But I can tell these fingers are probably your favourite.”

You whined, but you didn’t care enough to deny it. The Doctor chuckled and, with his unoccupied hand, gently caressed your cheek and leaned down to kiss your forehead softly. He retreated his hand from your warm mouth, making you feel almost empty.

“Let’s take this to the bedroom, little one. I think you need more than just daddy’s fingers by now.”

#twelfth doctor x reader #the doctor x reader #doctor who x reader #x reader #twelfth doctor smut #doctor who smut #smut #my fic

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