#before i had been more focused on blaming and hating myself then on actually like. learning from it.

[venti-venus]

baby driver - j. m x reader

summary: after a failed study session with dean forester, jess and y/n decide to get a little innocent payback.

𐌕Ꮤ: hating on dean forester, accurate gilmore girls banter and drama, not spellchecked, first jess fic yippie ! ¸¸♬·¯·♪·¯·♫¸¸ ¸¸♫·¯·♪¸♩·¯·♬¸¸

"Mariano," Y/N whined, stumbling into Luke's Diner. She dragged her feet across the floor and dramatically plopped down on one of the bar stools. " I feel like my face is about to fall off and I'm blaming it on you."

Jess rolled his eyes as he wiped down the counter, "Good morning to you too, Y/N. I get the feeling you didn't just come in here to complain."

"And you would be right!" Y/N smirked, "I'm here for the doughnuts. Chocolate, please." She jokingly batted her eyelashes before yawning. "Ugh, get me a coffee too."

"So, why are you up at eight o'clock in the morning," Jess poured her some coffee and handed it to her, along with the doughnuts. "You don't wake up until at least two. Special occasion?"

"Oh yeah, Dean Forester is real special. I'm supposed to meet up with him to go over our English assignment. I doubt he'll actually focus on the work though. I swear he's been so obsessed with Rory it's actually suffocating my last braincell."

Jess laughed at your comment, "You wish that was you or somethin'?"

Y/N threw a crumb of her doughnut at him and gagged, "As if! Dean doesn't even like Bowie, there's no chance him and I are gonna be anything more than friends."

"Very true," Jess smirked, "Any hater of David Bowie should be locked up and studied. I'm glad you're staying away from the freaks of the world, Y/N. Very proud."

"Yeah well, I better get going. Dean said he would pick me up from here and drive us to the lake so we can focus or something." Y/N sighed, "Wish me luck, Mario."

"Hey, do not call me that. Put some respect on a poor kids name, will ya?" He joked, "At least you get to ride around in his car. Pretty nice one if I do say so myself."

"Pretty car, pretty annoying boy." Y/N took her coffee and doughnuts and gave Jess one last smile before she headed out to wait for Dean and his car. Surely he wouldn't be too long..

"H-Hey, Jess," Y/N's shaky voice spoke into her phone, "Can you come pick me up? I'm at the lake and it's raining and Dean left an-"

"I'll be there in 10." Y/N could hear a door slam and a car start on the other side of the line. Jess hung up and Y/n waited as he drove to come get her.

The study session had gone alright, but it was what happened after that which led to Y/N now being stranded. She hid under what little over a close by oak tree had and waited until Jess pulled up.

“Get in.” Jess handed her a towel as Y/N got into his car. His knuckles grew white as he gripped the steering wheel, not saying anything else as he drove off.

“Thank you, Jess.” Y/N sniffled, “I could’ve walked but my house is too far with the rain and all.” She looked over to see the brunette focused on the road.

She decided to stay quiet as he drove her to her house, using the towel Jess gave her to dry off as best she could.

"The hell do you mean he kissed you?" Jess yelled from the living room, arms crossed on his chest. His eyebrows were so creased, they were practically conjoined. He was sitting down on the couch while Y/N was in the kitchen, trying to dry off and get water.

"I don't know! He told me he was finally dating Rory and everything was fine and then out of the blue," Y/N threw her hands up, "And then I freaked out because, hello, he just said he was with Rory!"

Jess huffed. "And then what happened?"

"He got mad at me for some stupid reason and yelled at me." Y/N got quieter, "I swear Dean makes no sense. One minute he's normal and the other he's... I'm sure there's some reference I could make but I can't think of one, but you get what I'm saying. He totally flipped."

Y/N opened her refrigerator, grabbing a bottle of water. "Oh, and then," She scoffed, "He had the audacity to tell me that he actually liked me the whole time. He was 'too scared' to tell me though because-. (because he thought I was dating you.)" Y/N paused and quietly mumbled, "That's not important." She frantically walked over to the living room and sat down next to Jess.

"Does he even like Rory? Or is he just leading her on now?" Jess was confused about the whole situation.

"Everyone likes Rory, Jess." Y/N rolled her eyes, "But I don't think he wants to get serious with her. I just can't believe he would do something like that to me."

"That tall freak has some serious paying up to do," Jess got up. "Go get changed into something dry. I have an idea."

Jess and Y/N got into Dean's Ford F-150, muffling their laughs as best as they could.

"Wait, you know how to drive, right?" Jess teased as he buckled his seatbelt.

Y/N rolled her eyes, laughing as she pulled out of Dean's driveway. Rory had picked him up earlier after Jess pulled a few strings, so his car was free and available for a little joy ride.

"I got my license last year, Jess. I'm practically Richard Petty." She pulled out of the driveway and turned on the radio.

"Okay, baby driver." Jess laughed as the two of them began to drive, happily using Dean's car for the night.

¸¸♬·¯·♪·¯·♫¸¸ ¸¸♫·¯·♪¸♩·¯·♬¸¸

[velvetvexations]

it’s so bizarre to me that you never, EVER reblog or post anything about transmisogyny or the transfem experience. like, can you even recommend any transfem-centric blogs for me to follow? for someone so into “solidarity” your trans activism seems pretty focused on trans men only

So there are multiple things going on with this ask.

As I've explained several times before - I don't necessarily blame you for not seeing it, but I have - most social issues give me panic attacks to contemplate. The thing I mentioned triggered me so badly yesterday was something in the transmisogyny tag that wasn't tagged with anything I had blacklisted (not that OP's fault, I added more variations of transphobia warnings so it hopefully won't happen again).

Intercommunity issues are less existential. Things like hate crimes and legislative assaults on queer people freak me out and leave me a shaking, crying, doomscrolling mess. I don't even follow like, literally any of the people who followed me for transandrophobia advocacy because they reblog other things that gives me heart palpitations.

That limits my exposure to intercommunity issues facing transfems specifically as well, the vast majority of people I follow don't put any discourse on my dash at all. However, I have in fact reblogged posts purely about transmisogyny (other than the kind transandrophobes throw at me lol) only to immediately delete them when I see the OP is vile towards transmascs in other posts, completely spoling the message. At least one was even specifically about ways transmascs can be transmisogynistic, which I thought was a fair enough criticism before realizing it was at best one good point in a sea of bullshit directed at our trans brothers. Another time I specifically asked someone how they felt about trasnmascs before I reblogged their very good post about transmisogyny and was delighted when they gave a fantastic response.

Furthermore, I do actually just speak on pure transmisogyny myself sometimes! I talked at length about the immense pain it caused me realizing Alison Bechdel was TERFier than I thought in a way that completely contradicts the strip that made me cry out of appreciation for her. Recently, I've also been talking a lot about the ways butch transfems are treated for not looking cis.

Do I mention these things less than transandrophobia and other issues that affect people other than transfems? Sure. But like...so what? I like doing things for other people.

I don't mean to act like I'm some kinna savior or anything, but as I said just yesterday, helping people outside of your own issues is something I'm kinna obsessed with not just in myself but others too. I'm constantly stressing how cis allies should be appreciated e.g. my previous feelings about Bechdel, and despite how she turned out I still firmly believe that cis allies should be treasured. I've donated money to multiple cis allies to say thanks for their statements.

It's not like I'm just so saintly selfless or anything like that, I'm very self-centered, it's just that being an ally to [x], [x] being allies to me, and [x] being allies to [y] who have nothing to do with me is not only a rare area of activism I can function in, it's one that actively brings me joy. This includes having sent multiple messages to transmascs thanking them when they speak up about transmisogyny, because I want to show them the love so many of them have shown me for the same thing.

Finally, you say my trans activism is focused on trans men. Maybe so, by volume. But, and I've mentioned this before, I've been wanting to do more for everyone else as well, literally everyone. I've asked a bit about intersex issues and am trying to learn more about what non-binary people who don't lean to one end or the other deal with as well, and I also want all my cis followers to feel just as comfortable and supported by me as well - and, of course, that all goes for other transfems as well, whose pain cuts me to the bone.

I'm radically pro-everyone, anon, and I want to help uplift them all without exception. I understand focusing on one's own lane, and I neither judge that nor am attempting to portray myself as a uniquely noble white knight. That's just what I personally choose to put my efforts towards.

[intimidating-fettuccine]

Can i get headcanons for Zalgo and Offender finding out that their teenager with spider-man like abilities has been doing vigilante work and crime fighting?

I watched the spider-man movie and it's all i can think about lol

I love me some Dad creep content. I haven't seen the movie myself but lots of people I know have watched it and think it's great ^-^ I hope you enjoy

Zalgo:

Zalgo is incredibly torn on how he wants to react to this discovery. On one hand, as the king of the Underworld, he knows that vigilante work is very much illegal and you could be legally punished for this, on another hand as your father he's incredibly proud of you for trying to help the community, and on a third hand, he's incredibly concerned about your safety and the thought of you getting gravely injured doing this. He calls you into his office immediately, and he asks you if you have something to tell him. You confess immediately, knowing honesty with Zalgo is better than dodging, and he thanks you for your honesty, but tells you the way you're going about this needs to change, for the sake of the law. He is the king, and while he doesn't want to make exceptions just for you, he also doesn't want to throw you in jail, so instead of legal punishment, he settles for grounding you for a couple of months. On the flip side, he hires you under his company, now legally allowing you to continue with your work, with some restrictions of course.

It might seem harsh to receive a grounding from him for this, but really, he's just being a concerned parent, and the king in him knew some punishment had to be handed out, and he reminds you of the law and the fact that if you were anyone else it would have been legal punishment. He also tells you that he wished you'd been more open with this from the start, and he could have helped you in some way and could have been looking out for you more. Really, he's quite lax on the grounding, just giving you an earlier curfew as he hates to see you restricted from life as he was growing up, but he makes absolutely sure that you're much safer in how you carry out your missions from now on. It's likely you'll take the thrown from him when the time comes, and it makes him proud to know that you're already this concerned with your people, and he tells you as such. You are his greatest accomplishment in his eyes. 

Offender:

Offender immediately blames his family line for this, it must be some sort of curse really, for the people he's close to to want to do some kind of work in this general field. Offender is incredibly distraught and incredibly worried the second that he learns you've been doing this kind of thing. He's seen his father, his brother, and both of their employees suffer grave injuries from similar work, and the thought of something similar happening to you while you're out fighting crime or whatever it is you've been doing for the last few months, has him terrified. When he hears of the news first, the first thing he actually does is go to his older brother Slender to calm him down before he makes any rash decisions, and to also get some advice on how to handle the situation. Talking with Slender does a great help to calm his nerves and get him focused, and by the time you're home from school that day, the moment you walk through the door you can tell he knows and that he wants to talk with you. 

He starts off by saying it's not that he's disappointed at you for doing what you're doing, after all, he's proud of you for wanting to help your community, but rather he's disappointed in you for not coming to him for help and safety reasons. He stresses that you could have gotten hurt, gravely injured, that you could have died, and he'd have never known where you were or why you weren't coming home, and by the time he says those words he's already sobbing, and the two of you share a comforting hug as he tries to calm down and finish talking. He tells you that from here on out, you are to check in with him, to at least tell him where you're going, and that whether you like it or not, some nights (you won't know which), some of Slender's employees will be following you in secret. Those are his terms, for his own peace of mind and your safety, and when you agree to them, he feels much better, even if he's still incredibly worried about you as your father because he loves you so dearly and anything happening to you is his worst fear.

[mdhwrites]

Honestly It's quite disrespectful and insulting, how Dana cared more about her beef with Disney than making a good show for the fans who supported her, some even financially. I've had it with her extreme fans raging to people when she's criticized for her obvious lack of care on S3 (the story in general), spamming and blaming on Disney and the shortening. Now that's revealed it wasn't Disney's fault for "ruining S3" since there was no S3 to begin with, that just puts more salt on the wound.

And lying about having plans for S3, what was that about? Stirring more hate on Disney? I find that pitiful and pathetic. If fans are gonna get mad at her from this revelation they have the right to do so. Toh should've stayed in the drafts or be written as a freelanche comic

Edit: I do think this person is too harsh on Dana as a person. I'm curious even what they mean by financial support from her fans (her charity livestreams? Unless she does those more often for personal gain but those people would likely donate anyways as just fans of the show) but as I go into below, I do agree that her unprofessionalism is a real problem and that with the fandom she somewhat helped rile up, it makes it frustrating to learn that a lot of this was on vapor. Not lies, but just... Not nearly as much solid foundation as we were led to believe. There is a lot to be said about how Dana, from my understanding, has been one of the most available leads on a show... Period? At bare minimum, for modern cartoons. Like others will talk but Dana was extremely candid. In fact, it feels like she probably learned some lessons from it because the blaming Disney stuff actually went DOWN as the show progressed. Like at least now it's "I wish I could have done more things," rather than, I dunno, just straight up trying to say they're why episodes you're not proud/ of aren't as well regarded didn't turn out.

Which she did.

With S1A.

Before SEASON TWO was out.

Like... You just shit talked literally half of the content that is out for your show and threw your publisher under the process. Why do I think that might not have been received well?

And when I was biggest in the fandom, around the time the news of the shortening happened, you heard a LOT of different explanations from Dana, like it was one executive who made the call or how TOH wasn't a 'part of Disney's brand' or the like. When the Florida stuff came out with Disney, she pretty explicitly called Disney out for it (which is fine and I approve) but then went on to insinuate that it was hard for her to believe that the show had been cancelled for any reason besides representation, a move I DON'T approve of and makes ZERO sense with how they got to do so much more gay shit in S2B and even add new elements like confirming Masha was they/them or confirming Luz being Bi on screen in Thanks to Them. It's not a great look for a director, especially during the times these statements were coming out.

Being unprofessional admittedly doesn't make her a bad person but like... Yeah, I get upset thinking about the contradictions here too. That even in the same post Hoot that she has to admit that the shortening pushed them creatively and they had no real plans, she's still talking like she had plans. Like there was something to be missed when... No. Not for the STORY. Just your bucket of ideas for a perpetual series.

It leans into the idea that saying you were going to do X means you would have done it perfectly. That Dana doesn't understand that the only perfect work is the one never done. She's fine with being remembered for what wasn't there if it means being remembered better. As a creator myself who struggles with putting things to the page... I don't know. It hurts to some extent.

Which just a small update: I've been having real trouble focusing the past couple days. My head is not on well right now. It's why these are being a bit more emotional and late night rather than my normal posts in the morning because that's just how I've felt like doing it. Hope you're all taking care of yourselves and see you next tale.

======+++++======

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead. If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

A Twitter you can follow too

And a Kofi if you like what I do and want to help out with the fact that disability doesn’t pay much.

[skzfictions]

Take The Blame (Lee Felix Fic)

Summary: After a food fight breaks out between you and his friends, Lee Felix, the most popular guy at your arts academy, wants to know the truth about why you took the blame when you weren't even the one who started it, but you have no intentions on telling him the truth about why you did.

Genre: Nonidol! AU, Academy! AU, Fluff, Comfort, Cooking Class, Closed-off Reader, Reader is kinda mean to Felix at first, Felix wants to open Reader's heart ❤️

♡Pairing: Lee Felix X GN! Reader

Words: 7K

Warnings: mentions of food, mentions of bullying

Lmk if there's anything else

A/N: Felix likes baking, I like baking, and that's how this short story came about. If you like this story, lmk. Reblogs are always appreciated 🙏 Thanks~~<3

"Why did you take the blame for starting the food fight in class earlier today?"

At the unexpected sound of the familiar deep voice that suddenly piped up from behind you, you whipped your head around, but once you saw who it was, you quickly turned back around and went back to what you were originally doing which was scrubbing down one of the dirty kitchen counters of your Home Economics classroom.

“What are you doing here?” you grumbled out in a surly manner, before grimacing at the sound of your shaky voice. You really hated how pathetic you sounded, but you couldn’t help it. After what had happened earlier that day in class, you were in a pissy mood, and your eyes were filled to the brim with hot tears that threatened to spill over and down your cheeks if you so much as blinked. 

With all that in mind, you really didn't want to see his face at the moment and you definitely didn't want to cry in front of him, so you kept your eyes focused on what you were doing. 

Honestly, you wished he would just go away, but he seemed to have other plans. 

"Shouldn't I be the one asking you that question?" You heard him ask as you continued scrubbing the counter, albeit with a little more force than necessary but that's just how upset you were. You heard him continue. "What are you doing here? You weren't even the one who started the fight, so why did you take the blame?" 

"Just go away, Felix," you griped, not wanting to deal with your persistent classmate, but again, he had other plans. 

"No," he refuted, much to your annoyance. "You've been telling me and my friends to 'go away' since day one. Now you're here, by yourself, crying over something you didn't even do that was our fault? So, why?"

You didn't answer him. You thought that maybe if you didn't respond and left him talking to himself then maybe he would take the hint and leave but you should've known better. This was the ever persistent Lee Felix, after all. 

"I mean, that's a bit masochistic of you, don't you think?" you heard him continue before he paused as a new thought seemed to come to him. "Wait! That's it, isn't it? Are you a masochist, y/n?"

You rolled your eyes, irritated by his idiotic question which caused your sarcastic side to come out. 

"You know what? You're right. I'm a masochist," you replied, callously, momentarily stopping to glare at him who was standing in the doorway of the classroom, before going back to finish scrubbing the counter that was now almost polished sparkling clean due to you using so much force. "I like to torture myself by taking the blame for pretty-faced, dumbass boys like you, even for things I didn't even do." 

Once you finished scrubbing the counter, you turned to face him. "Are you happy now? Is that what you wanted to hear?"

Your classmate, Felix, who was still standing in the doorway, now blinked big, innocent-looking eyes at you that actually almost made you feel guilty for being so hostile towards him even though he deserved it. 

"No," he answered, more soberly now. "Not if it's not true, which I don't think it is..."

You rolled your eyes again, not bothering to reply to his comment, and went back to cleaning. You moved to the next counter that was covered in some questionable brown gunk and sprayed it with cleaner before scrubbing it down, but as you did so, you felt Felix's eyes watching your every move from his position in the doorway. 

You seriously hoped he would just give up and  leave if you continued to ignore him, but after a few minutes of feeling his eyes watching your every move as you moved around the classroom cleaning, annoyed, you finally decided to address him.

"Uh…are you just going to stand there and stare at me all day?" You asked, annoyed by his presence. 

"Yes," he said, frankly, with a shrug of his shoulders. "I will until you tell me the truth." 

You winced at him before turning back to scrub yet another dirty counter. There was dried food scum all over it thanks to the food fight that happened earlier that day in class. 

"You must have a lot of free time," you grumbled out while scrubbing furiously. 

"Today I do," you heard him respond. "I would've been busy all afternoon cleaning our Home Ec room, but a certain someone took care of that by taking the blame for a food fight they didn't even start, so…"

As he trailed in his sentence, you knew that his extra emphasis on the word "someone" was referring to you but you ignored it.

"Fine," you said as you continued to clean. "Stare all you want. I don't care."

As far as you were concerned, he could stare all day until his eyes fell out of their sockets. He still wasn't getting a peep out of you. 

But you were surprised when he suddenly entered the classroom and sat himself down in a chair at one of the clean counters you had already scrubbed. You watched in surprise as he made himself comfortable and did just as you said; however, you continued to ignore him as you went back to cleaning while he quietly watched you from across the room, but he must have gotten a little bored because he eventually took out his phone and started tinkering with it. 

You had to admit, your yellow-haired classmate sure was stubborn, but you could be just as stubborn, so you refused to engage with him as you just moved around the food infested classroom, cleaning it spotless but even then, he still didn't leave. In fact, he even pulled out some homework, eventually. 

You couldn't believe he was actually sticking around. You had been kind of joking when you told him that he could sit and stare for as long as he wanted but you didn't think he would really do it.

Regardless, you were so engrossed in cleaning, and he had been so quiet the entire time you did so, that you barely heard him when he did finally speak up. In fact, you didn't even realize that it was you he was talking to until you looked up at him and saw him staring at you with those big innocent eyes again.

"Do you know?" He asked you now. 

You didn't. 

"What?" you questioned unsurely. You didn't even know what he was talking about. 

He then glanced down at the paper in front of him. 

"It's question number five of our homework," he explained before reading the question. "Which term describes the process by which gluten absorbs moisture and becomes firmer?" 

He then looked back at you again. "Do you know?"

You blinked at him, a little stupefied by his question but still answered. "Uh...that's coagulation…" 

Instantly, Felix's face lit up. "Ah, right! I forgot about that." You watched as he turned his attention back to his homework and scribbled down something on his paper.

You, on the other hand, just shook your head, still irritated by his presence and now even more irritated by his lack of understanding of the basics of baking. 

And yet this is the same guy who got a better grade on his baking dish than I did, you thought with contempt for your blond classmate. 

"Dumbass," you muttered under your breath, but through the silence of the classroom, Felix must have heard your ridicule of him because you heard him snap his tongue in response. 

"Y/N, why do you hate me so much?" He suddenly asked you. 

"Because you're annoying," you answered, not missing a beat, while you now moved on to washing the stacks of dirty dishes piled near one of the sinks. You didn't even bother looking up at him as you started to clean, knowing it was going to take you at least an hour to wash them all.

"I'm annoying?" He repeated, incredulously, obviously offended. "That's it?! That's not a reason to hate someone especially to the point of trying to sabotage their dish-"

As you were cleaning dishes while listening to Felix go off on you, you hadn't been expecting him to bring up the incident that helped to start this entire fight between you two in the first place, so when he began to bring up the time you had tried to ruin one of his recipes for class, it caused you to flare up for a second.

You stopped washing as you began to yell, "THAT'S BECAUSE-" but you caught yourself and stopped yourself from yelling. You released a long exhale as you calmed yourself down before speaking in a much more mild tone although you were still tense. 

"I only did that because I was desperate,” you admitted. “You and your stupid friends were completely taking over the class. I only did what I had to do." 

"But that's so shitty!” he scolded you. “What did I ever do to you besides literally exist that you have it out for me?"

You didn't answer. There was a brief pause between you both as you continued to scrub dishes before he finally spoke again and when he did, it caused you to flare up again. 

"What are you threatened by me?" he asked. 

"Oh, please!” you scoffed, mockingly. You were offended that he would even begin to think that you were worried about his subpar cooking skills (even though there was some slight truth to that fact but you would never admit that). “I'm not worried about the couple stupid little dishes you made getting higher marks than mine. I could out cook you even in my sleep, anyday." 

"Ah! So that's what this is really about,” you heard Felix say as if he had just stumbled upon some great discovery. “You're jealous that the teacher has been giving me higher marks than you."

You shook your head, still ignoring him. "Whatever, Felix. Think what you want.”  

Even though you were nowhere near done cleaning the stacks of dishes, you suddenly turned off the running sink, before drying your hands with a towel and making your way over to the side of the room with your belongings. You picked up your bag and jacket and then began to make your way towards the door to leave. 

"Where are you going?” Felix asked you as his eyes followed your frame move across the room from where he was still seated. “You're not even finished cleaning.” 

"If you won't leave then I will," you said, coldly, as you now headed for the door but you were surprised when all of a sudden, Felix jumped up from his seat and ran in front of you, blocking your way out. You tried to move around him by stepping to the side, but he was faster and stepped right along with you, still blocking the way out. You then tried again, stepping the other way, but again, he was faster.  

"What are you doing?" you gritted out. "Move!"

"No, not until you tell me the truth!” he refuted, as he glared at you, clearly not intending on backing down. “Why do you hate me so much?" 

You sighed, not wanting to deal with him anymore. "Just leave me alone." 

"No! I won't,” he said, still stubborn as ever and clearly determined to get the truth out of you even though you had made it clear through your dismissal of him that you had no intention of telling him anything. He continued in his tirade. “You've been giving me a hard time since the day I stepped foot into this classroom and now you've gone as far as trying to poison my dish!  But then, today you go and take the blame for a food fight you didn't even start. None of what you’re doing or saying makes any sense! There's got to be a reason." 

"Uh! Just shut up!" you snapped and tried to move around him again, but you were stopped when his arm suddenly stretched out and his hand slapped against the frame of the doorsill, thus, creating a physical barrier to keep you inside the room. 

"Not until you tell me the truth," came his stern reply. 

You stared at the pretty blond male standing before you, full of contempt for him.

"Fine,” you gritted out through clenched teeth. If ‘ol “Lixie boy” wanted the truth, he was gonna get the truth. 

“You really wanna know why I hate you?” you asked him and he raised his brows at you, urging you to continue so you did. “You know, you're already super popular. The whole school worships at your feet. You've got everyone, literally, everyone, even the principal, in the palm of your hands! And all you have to do is bat your pretty eyelashes or give them that cute little smile and everyone just loses it!”

You then placed your hand over your chest and gave him a fake smile as you started to mockingly repeat all the compliments that literally everyone on campus always said about him.  

“‘Oh, Felix is so lovely! Oh, Felix has the most beautiful freckles like constellations! Oh, Felix shines brighter than the sun! Oh, Felix is the most beautiful person in the entire world!’" 

You then stopped in your mocking to glare at him again. “It gets on my frickin’ nerves! Especially when you use it to get away with literally everything! But this class, this place, it's my space. Cooking is my thing. A place where I can forget about you and your stupid pretty face and your dumbass friends and just be myself, but you had to come and barge your way into here as well! Like, reigning the rest of our academy wasn't enough for you, you had to come in here, a place where I reign, and take over here, too! And what's worse? You're actually good at it! And you don't even care! You just put shit together that literally looks like they belong in the garbage and yet somehow, whatever you make turns out to be delicious! And now even my favorite teacher worships you for that too!” 

The fact that you had just released a month's worth of pent up stress all in one breath had you breathing heavily but you were glad to have finally gotten all of it off your chest. You then finally finished your outburst in a much more composed manner. “So yes, I hate you, Felix. Because you're annoying and irritating and you won't go away."

The entire time you had been going off on him, Felix had stood quietly, listening to your rant while staring at you, only looking away momentarily, and scratching at the back of his head like he was trying to process all the information you were throwing at him all at once. When you finally finished, he stood gaping at you for a good minute before finally saying, "You think I'm pretty?" 

If he was trying to get a rise out of you, it was working because you felt heat rise within your chest, up your neck, and then up to your cheeks like a volcano. Your entire being was on fire! You clenched your hands into tight fists, just about ready to punch him in his stupid, pretty face. 

"Is that all you heard?!" you grunted out in disbelief.  

Felix chuckled now, seeing how angry you were, and must have figured it was time for him to take you seriously because he put his hands up in a placating stance. "No. I'm only joking, y/n. I’m sorry.” He paused for a moment, before asking, “Well, if you hate me so much then why did you take the blame for the fight?"

You stayed silent, as you were reminded of why you had even taken the blame for him and his dumbass friends in the first place. Just at the reminder, you began to feel the hot tears well up in your eyes again. That's when you moved to try and push past him again, not wanting to tell him, but Felix’s arm was surprisingly strong, as it remained iron-clad to the doorframe, not budging one bit.

You then looked away from him as frustrated tears began to betray you and tip over the edges of your eyes.

Seeing this, Felix relented and he spoke more softly this time in a manner that resembled a person trying to coax a scared kitten out of hiding. "The truth, y/n. Please?"

It worked. Somehow Felix had the ability to make even your closed-off self open up because you bit down on your lip as you finally admitted to him, "I just wanted you and your friends to finally leave me alone." Your voice was barely above a whisper as you spoke, but that's honestly as high as you could get it to come out; it hurt to tell the truth. "I was hoping that if I took the blame, then maybe you guys would finally stop making fun of me…"

You felt tears begin to glide down your face, but before they could actually flow down, you quickly wiped them away, still trying to maintain some of your dignity in front of your perfect, blond classmate. 

Felix stared at you, quietly while you avoided eye contact with him. 

"I didn't know what my friends were saying about you bothered you that much," he finally said. "You always put up such a tough act." 

"Can I go now?" You asked, impatiently. You wanted to be anywhere else than here in this room with him. "You got what you wanted. The truth."

The truth. The truth was that a couple of months ago, Lee Felix, the most popular guy at your arts academy, had chosen Home Economics as his elective class for reasons unbeknownst to you, but you didn’t really care why he was there all of a sudden. All you were interested in was getting him out the moment he entered because you knew he didn’t belong there. Culinary arts had been your passion that you took extremely seriously, but the academy didn’t have a proper culinary class; however, they did have Home Economics, and so that's what you had chosen to devote your studies to for the last two years. 

Of course, along with the fact that Home Ec didn’t have the same funding as some of the other art classes, the cooking class was hardly the most popular field of study. Most students chose arts like music or dance which Felix was a master at the latter, thus, gaining him popularity enough to rival that of actual veteran performers in show business. 

With the beauty of a god and natural talent most students would kill for, everyone on campus knew Felix was going to be a star someday. In fact, he already was, especially with his massive following on Tik Tok and just about every other form of social media out there. 

You honestly didn’t care about his immense popularity, though. At least, not as long as you had your own space within the academy which just so happened to be the least popular arts curriculum there, the Home Economics class. You enjoyed cooking, baking, learning new recipes, and all the chef lingo you often saw on cooking channels. Someday, you hoped to go to a proper Culinary arts school to further your studies in the craft; however, your Home Ec class would do for now.   

Then, all of a sudden, out of nowhere, for whatever reason, Lee Felix, the most popular guy in your academy, decided to drop in your own little haven on campus and made himself the king of that as well. 

To say you were infuriated would have been an understatement. Aside from yourself, there were only about a dozen other students in the class, but once Felix showed up, this brought along a horde of his friends and even some of his fans as well, which resulted in the class becoming much more crowded. 

Today, the class was fuller than it had ever been in the last two years you had been taking the elective, which actually could have been great for improving funding if the higher-ups could see that students were interested in the course. But his friends proved not to be interested in it at all, only taking it to be with Felix. As a result, they goofed off, and basically just disrespected the place you had made your own personal comfort space. On top of that, because you were one of the very few students who were actually passionate about cooking, this ended up making you the butt of jokes and taunting from some of Felix’s friends who thought you were super uptight. And okay, maybe you were a little uptight, but after having them all suddenly crash your only safe space in the entire academy only to make a complete mockery of it, could you be blamed for being a bit uptight? 

In addition, as if to further irritate you, Felix seemed to be a natural-born chef because everything he made turned out to be complete masterpieces. Everyone in class always went for whatever dish he made, including your Home Ec teacher, who you could quickly tell was beginning to have a new favorite pupil thanks to Felix. He had been given five stars on his last three dishes, while you, on the other hand, had never received more than four. Needless to say, you were a bit jealous. In fact, you were so jealous that every little thing Felix did began to annoy you immensely, making you extra petty. Like you hated when he would borrow ingredients from your table because then he would never give them back! But nothing bothered you more than his stupid friends who all took immense pleasure in rubbing it in your face at how effortlessly better he was at everything you put all your effort into, followed by ridiculing you and making you feel less than. 

They basically just came into class, taunted you for an entire hour, while praising Felix, then they all left together only to come back and do it again the next day. You hated it! Finally you’d had enough. That’s when you had attempted to ruin one of his dishes by sneaking by and adding an ungodly amount of salt to it. 

Unfortunately, one of his friends had caught you in the act, and made a big scene, causing you to get publicly reprimanded by your instructor. From then on, his friends targeted you more viciously. Snide remarks, and taunting from them were a constant, both in and outside of class. Today had been the tip of the iceberg, though. 

This time when one of his friends had made one of their little nasty comments about you, they had followed that comment with squirting barbeque sauce at you, thus dousing you in the thick saucey substance. Although you tended to be on the more reserved side, you were never one to back down from a fight if it meant defending yourself, so you had picked up whatever bottle was nearby and squirted it back at them. But this just caused them to laugh and taunt more as more of his friends tossed food items at you. That’s when someone in the class yelled the two words that started the whole chaos. 

“Food Fight!” 

In the two years you had been taking Home Ec, there had never once been a food fight amongst the students, but that all changed today. What had started off as a little spat between you and Felix’s friends ended up being an entire class affair. Everyone in class got in on the action as food, sauces, liquids, utensils, and whatever else flew throughout the classroom, every which way. 

Your Home Ec teacher, who was completely horrified by the uproar, barely knew how to handle the situation considering this had never happened before. The headmaster had to be called, and your class ended up being questioned on who started the entire charade. No one spoke, that’s when your headmaster threatened your entire class with not only detention for the rest of the semester, but threatened to revoke everyone's admission to the winter formal.   

That's when one of Felix’s friends completely threw you under the bus, saying you were the one who had started the whole fight. You could've fought back, but you knew it would just be your words against theirs and Felix's friends were all against you so they had more power. That's why you decided to take the blame for the whole fight. You thought maybe, just maybe if you did then they might leave you alone. Then, the headmaster took you to his office and gave you your punishment which included not only having to clean up the entire Home Ec room by yourself but mandatory detention for the week.

You took your punishment like a trooper, and stayed long after class was over to clean the Home Ec room by yourself, but you hadn't been expecting the one guy who had been at the center of all this drama to show up in the doorway while you did so. 

Now that everything was out in the open, you had nothing left to give him, so you attempted to move past him one more time, but Felix’s arm didn't budge.

You fixed him with an incredulous stare. 

What's his deal? you wondered. Is he still not satisfied? 

Felix cleared his throat. 

"Look, I'm really sorry, y/n," he began, his voice full of sincerity. "But I want you to know that I never made fun of you, but I also never stopped my friends from doing it either and that's just as bad. So for that I'm truly sorry." 

You stayed still, staring anywhere but his probing eyes. 

He continued. "I don't think you're a nerd or a…a…" 

"A loner and a food snob whose only companion in the entire academy is our Home Ec teacher," you finished for him, repeating what you heard one of his friends say about you. 

The skin under Felix’s pale cheeks turned crimson as he admitted, sheepishly, "Uh…yeah, that…" He then looked back up at you again. "I'll get them to quit picking on you. I promise. But in their defense you did kind of start this whole thing. They're all just as confused as I am as to why you hated all of us so much and for no reason when we first started the class." He then added, "Me especially." 

You looked away not wanting to bring up the reason why. You had already admitted enough for today. You were used to being an incredibly closed-off person. It's how you stayed safe within your academy where you often felt like a fish out of water. You didn't think you could take much more being open and honest for today, but Felix seemed to always have this ability to bring out things you wanted to keep far down within the depths of your soul because what he said next got a rise out of you again. 

"I would've never guessed it was because you were jealous of me," he stated.

"I'm not jealous!" You fired back at him.

"No?" He questioned with feigned innocence before his eyes started to narrow at you rather suspiciously. "Then what was that you were saying about cooking being your thing and this class being the place where you reign until me and my stupid pretty face came in and ruined all that for you?"

You looked away from him again, feeling your cheeks get hot again at having your words about him being pretty thrown right back at you.

"Hm?" Felix pursued but you just bit your lip to try and fight the unwanted grin threatening to betray your features at having been figured out by him. 

"Th-that…" you stuttered not knowing how to respond. 

"That-what?" He repeated, teasingly. He then shocked you when he suddenly asked, "Do you like me, y/n?" 

Your eyes finally met his as you gaped at him at having found out your deepest secret that you always swore you would never admit to anyone, even your own self. 

Yes, although it pained you to do so, even you had to admit that you thought Felix was incredibly cute. He really was. 

His golden hair, although dyed blond, suited him so well it looked like it could've been his natural color. You liked the way his wispy bangs lightly dipped into his bright, shiny eyes and the way his gorgeous smile could put the sun to shame by lighting up any place he stepped into. 

He was just so pretty and what was worse was that he knew it but it wasn't because he was conceited or anything. In fact he was incredibly humble about his looks; it was everyone else who told him so, constantly. 

His friends and his hordes of fans told him. Teachers, and staff adored him. Complete strangers gawked at his beauty. Everyone that came into contact with Felix always ended up smitten with his charming face and personality. 

In addition, he was genuinely kind to just about everyone he met which helped him to earn his reputation. In fact, he had never even been mean to you necessarily, although you two barely spoke to one another outside of cooking class; however, his friends were a whole other story. 

You really wished they would just leave you alone but after months of building tension, the damage between you and his friends was already too deep to just sweep under the rug. A fight was bound to break out between you all at some point. Today just happened to be that day. 

You felt your heart rate go into overdrive now as you both stared at one another in that doorway. You were so stumped by his question that your mind went blank. 

"What?" was all you could say as you continued to stare at him, completely flabbergasted. 

"Do you like me?" He repeated and you suddenly felt compelled to look down at your feet, as if they were the most interesting things in the world but it was what Felix said next that almost caused you to pass out. 

"Because I think I like you." 

To say you were merely surprised at his statement would've been the understatement of the century. 

You were speechless. Dumbstruck. Stupefied. Completely thrown for a loop! You didn't know what to say or what to do, and so you did nothing. You just stayed there quietly, staring down at your shoes. 

Finally, Felix asked, "You're not going to say anything?"

It took you a minute to finally find your voice to be able to speak, but once you did it came out kind of hoarse.

"Why-" You had started to say but paused once the word left your mouth because of how scratchy your throat felt.

Felix then completed your question before you could. 

"Why do I like you?" He asked. "...well…"

But he stopped when you shook your head at him. Finding your voice again, you were able to tell him what you were thinking. 

"I kind of was gonna ask why you decided to take cooking class all of a sudden this semester, but yes, that too." 

Felix sighed at you. "Y/N, you don't even know me or my friends that well. How do you know that I'm not serious about cooking?"

At this, you fixed him with an incredulous stare. "You? Serious about cooking? Yeah, right." 

"I am," he replied, sternly.

"Why?" You asked, your voice still taking on a tone of disbelief. "Because you've found yet another way to get praised by your horde of followers?"

Felix rolled his eyes. 

"No, that's not it," he said frustrated. "Look, I may not be a skilled cook like you but I do like cooking. In fact, I like it a lot. I never expected to when I first got put into this elective, but I do."

"Why?" You asked, genuinely curious. "Why now?"

Felix must have felt confident enough that you wouldn't try to leave the room anymore because he moved past you to walk back into the classroom, only to lean against one of the counters as he looked deep in thought. 

You followed his movements as you turned to face him and listened to what he had to say. 

"I don't know. I kind of always have, but I just didn't know it," he began to explain. "I've always made things for my friends and family. Be it a holiday, or birthday, or any gathering, I've always enjoyed making things for them and seeing them eat my dishes. I think that's what I really enjoy about cooking and why I like it so much. Because I like to take care of people and see them happily eating something I made with my own hands."

He began to smile as he spoke about enjoying cooking for people he cared about. He then looked at you as his face grew serious again. 

"But you're right. I had never taken it seriously until I ended up taking this class. I'll admit the only reason I ended up taking Home Ec in the first place is because it was the only elective left open and I needed just a couple more credits but then, I found myself really enjoying it."

He paused momentarily before adding, "And I found myself liking you as well. At first, I had thought you were a bit of a food snob, but then I realized I was wrong about that, too. The more time I spent in this class with you, the more I realized how incredibly passionate you are about cooking. You know so much more than I do and I wanted to learn everything like you do. I actually really admire you." 

He looked up at you and you felt your cheeks and neck getting hot again under his gaze as he revealed his truth to you. 

However, you weren't quite ready to address feelings just yet, so you avoided it by bringing up another topic.  

"It sounds like cooking for people is your love language, then."

"My love language?" He asked, confusedly. 

"How you show people that you care about them," you explained. 

"Oh." He nodded. "All I know is that I like to cook. I like this class and I want to continue to learn everything I can. And more importantly, I don't want to fight with you anymore."

His eyes met yours again and you both shared a brief moment of silence before you agreed with him.

"I don't either."

Felix smiled at you as he pushed away from the counter he had been leaning against and stepped closer to you. 

"So then, what do you say about calling a truce?" 

"A truce?" You repeated, questioningly. 

"Yeah," he responded. "A truce to end all fighting between you, me and my friends. No more trying to ruin each other's dishes, no more snide remarks, or making fun of each other, and no more food fights."

You thought about his proposal in silence for a moment. You then said, "Tell that friend of yours who flung barbeque sauce on me to keep it off of me and in their container and we'll call it a deal."

At this, Felix grinned ear-to-ear. "They only did that because you tried to steal ingredients from my table." 

"Okay, but they were mine first," you argued back, playfully. "You never give back anything you borrow."

Felix rolled his eyes. "Well maybe if you didn't hog everything to yourself then-"

"Fine," you said, cutting him off. "I won't hoard all the ingredients and we'll share from now on." You stuck your hand out to him as you asked, "Truce?"

He stuck out his hand as well, and shook yours. "Yeah, truce," he agreed. He then broke the handshake and began making his way across the room to the closet and you watched him grab a broom out of it.

"And as part of our truce, I'll help you clean up."

You raised your brows in disbelief. "You will?" 

He nodded as he began to sweep the floor. 

You smirked at him as you made your way back into the classroom and placed your belongings back down. 

"What are we friends now?" You asked him, teasingly. 

The blond suddenly stopped in his sweeping to fix you with an amused grin. "I just admitted to liking you a couple minutes ago and now you're saying you want to be just friends?" 

You smiled before admitting to him, "I do like you a lot, too."

Felix grinned.

"But I still want to get to know you more, first," you finished.

Today you learned that both you and Felix had been pretty judgemental of one another despite not knowing each other all that well, so you thought you two should actually try to get to know one another, first, before trying anything more. 

"Okay," Felix agreed with a nod before asking, "What do you want to know?"

You thought for a moment and that's when something you had been curious about for quite a while now hit you. 

"I wanna know what your secret is to those delicious brownies you made that one time in class," you told him. "You know, the ones that made our Home Ec teacher give you five stars while I only got four." 

Felix snapped his tongue. "Is that what you've been curious about this whole time?"

You nodded in response. Truthfully, ever since he had gotten higher marks than you, you had been dying to know the secret to his recipe so you wanted to know now.

Felix put the broom down as he said teasingly, "Ah, so the chef connoisseur doesn't know everything, huh? Fine, five-star Michelin Felix will show you."

You rolled your eyes at his name for himself. "Okay, five-star Michelin Felix."

He grinned hearing you call him this. "Hey, I like the sound of that."

"Of course you would," you said, crossing your arms over your chest. "You're so full of yourself." 

He shrugged before turning to you and said smugly, "How can I not be when I have such a…what did you say? A pretty face?" 

Actually, what you had said was that he had a stupid pretty face, but you didn’t mention that. However, now that he knew that you liked him and thought he was pretty you knew he was never going to let you live that down since he seemed to take joy in teasing you about it. 

"Uh…you're such a tease!" You whined to him, causing him to laugh. "Just tell me your secret to those brownies."

Felix perked up at the mention of his trademark dessert that had gotten him his first five-star rating from your instructor. 

"Oh, my secret is I…" he paused for a moment as he looked at you, and his smile turned slightly devilish. "I put in a food that is an aphrodisiac," he admitted, cheekily. "Can you guess what?" 

Instantly, your mouth fell open at his reveal. 

Oh, that is genius, you thought. That also helped to explain your teacher's rather overzealous reaction to Felix’s dessert. 

"What was it?" You asked him. "The cacao nibs?" 

You knew chocolate could be an aphrodisiac but Felix just shook his head before moving across the room to head over to one of the refrigerators. You watched him grab something out of it and then make his way back over to you, this time his hands holding something in a bag so its contents you couldn't see.

"Open," he said as he stood in front of you now. 

"Huh?" You questioned, but the moment your mouth opened to say that, you felt Felix suddenly pop something into your mouth.

Embarrassed by the sudden gesture, you felt your cheeks burn as your hands came up to cup your mouth. That's when you tasted the sweet, tart flavor of a familiar fruit and you instantly realized what it was. 

"The pomegranate," you said as you sucked on the sweet fruit seed that was now spreading across your tongue's palate.

Felix nodded. "The brownies I had made were pomegranate brownies with sea salt. The pomegranate is known to be an aphrodisiac. It's said to heighten the senses, boost testosterone and get the juices flowing…"

You winced at him as you finished eating the fruit. Oh, he was really good.

"That's not fair!" You suddenly erupted at him, annoyed by his trick to getting a higher grade than you. 

But he just grinned back cheekily, before saying, "Hey, you know what they say. If you can't stand the heat, then stay out of the kitchen." 

He winked at you as he popped some of the pomegranate seeds into his own mouth, with a smirk causing you to feel rather flustered. 

Pushing away from the counter, you rolled up your sleeves so that you could go back to the dishes you had been previously cleaning before. 

"We're supposed to be cleaning," you told him, changing the subject. "You said you would help me clean the classroom."

He chuckled as he placed the fruit down and then went back to grab the broom again.

"No worries, y/n," he said as he started to sweep the floor once again. "You won't have to do this alone anymore." He looked up at you and smiled. "From now on, I'm gonna be by your side. I promise." 

You felt your heart skip a beat as you got the feeling he meant he would be by your side in more than just helping you clean up the class, but that he would be by your side as a friend, too.

You smiled to yourself as you went back to cleaning, this time alongside the person you could now call your new friend. 

As you thought about it, you found it kind of funny. You had been considering Felix your arch nemesis, literally ever since he had stepped foot inside your favorite class, but who knew that all it would take was a food fight to get you two to finally make peace?

[momochizoey]

Thank you for tagging me @celinou !!

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 

I've got 12 on my AO3! 9 ATLA/TLOK fics, and 3 Wednesday fics.

2. What's your total AO3 word count? 

46,759 words in total! Most of it is one shots so that tracks tbh, though I'm actually pretty impressed with how much that actually is, especially cause it doesn't count how much I've written for WIPs.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos? 

#1) Scrapped Scenes, a Wenclair fic, at 1,632 kudos (which is frankly insane, I hadn't realized it got that much)

#2) Crying Wolf, another Wenclair fic, at 759 kudos

#3) And Iphigenia Felt Rage, a Yuezula fic, at 225 kudos

#4) The Future Looks Brighter Together, a Sokkla fic, at 163 kudos

And at #5) Yours In Body And Soul, another Sokkla fic, at 154 kudos

I'm not surprised the two Wenclair fics are on top by such a wide margin, I wrote those when the show had only just come out so the fandom was at its peak. Very glad that many people liked what I wrote though! Since most of the other fandoms I've written for (on ao3 or here) are a lot less active, it was a new experience!

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? 

I usually do, but I do have to admit I've been struggling a bit with it recently 😅. I read them all, and I'm so grateful for them, but especially on fics that I had huge plans for still, and which are in no way close to progressing, I have this feeling like I should have a new chapter to offer when I do answer them. I'm blaming it on my social anxiety 😬

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Ooh, that's a hard one cause I definitely tend to go in a more fluffy, feel-good direction. But I'd have to say it's Keep Your Fire On A Leash (Let The Ashes Bring You Peace). It's a June/Azula oneshot, mainly focused on Azula dealing with the pyromania she developed in captivity (as a need to reclaim complete control over at least this aspect of her life). She tries to manage it a little by working in pottery, where continuous, constant temperature control is crucial to porcelain quality, but it's not perfect. It's not angsty per-se, but it's definitely more ambiguously neutral.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? 

Oooh, I'd say it's a toss up between two of my fics:

The first is Not Alone, a TyZula band AU fic about Azula recovering from bottom surgery. I wrote it while I myself was still recovering from bottom surgery, and I wanted to explore a facet of trans characters journeys that isn't often discussed? It's a bit more niche, and I only recently made it open to anyone, not just ao3 users, so it's one of my less popular fics for sure, but it's very hopeful portrayal of a trans experience.

And the second is Yours In Body And Soul, a Sokkla soulmates AU, where soulmates bodyswap at night when either of them has had a bad day, in order to try to cheer them up. I got the idea from a korrasami fic called Paralyzed I read a while back, and changed the mechanics a little bit to make it work. It's definitely a more traditional happy ending, romantic getting together included (up to a point, they are still kids in the timeline so just an excited hug).

8. Do you get hate on fics? 

I don't! Sometimes people disagree on one interpretation of something, but never disrespectful or anything, so I'm pretty happy!

9. Do you write smut? 

I've tried it before in private, got some good feedback. But no, never anything that I'd share.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've ever written? 

I'm not sure if ATLA/TLOK counts😂. I've had some ideas for crossovers though, and written a few draft snippets, I think it was a TLT/ATLA one, an ATLA/Shang-Chi, and a Naruto/ATLA one that I've actually posted a few snippets from on here if I remember correctly.

That last one was a Sakura reincarnated into Azula idea, to explore some interesting anti-imperialist ideals, because that's actually a blind spot Sakura has as well with Konoha. It's easy for her to fall into the same ideological fallacies as before, especially with the significantly lower usage of child soldiers in the Fire Nation making it seem like the epitome of peace and human rights to her. Like looking at the same problem in a different font, at a slightly different angle, it gives Sakura an opportunity for growth by maybe showing her some of the issues she had been ignoring or missing in Konoha, shaking some of her loyalty.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? 

Nope, not as far as I'm aware!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? 

Also nope, theoretically I could translate it in Dutch, but I'm a lot better at expressing myself in English I think, and almost every Dutch person can read English (especially on ao3), so I don't think it would add much. Maybe one day though!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? 

I haven't, though it seems like it'd be very cool, I'd definitely be open to it!

14. What's your all time favorite ship? 

God, don't make me choose 😭😭 I guess it's probably Chasefield? I'm such a sucker for those two it's unreal. Otherwise maybe Yuezula, Maizula or Sokkla? They each have such interesting possible dynamics, in such varying ways.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will? 

Again, that's a tough one cause I'm afraid I have a lot. I still have several half-written chapters of Getting Family Approval In Six Fool-Proof Steps (Cue The Fools, Sokka And Azula), as well as the start of a longer fic that continues on from And Iphigenia Felt Rage that I've fully outlined and would love to write someday but can't be sure I ever will. There's also Indelible Mark which I've been blocked on forever. As for WIPs that haven't even been partially published yet, I've got 11k for a Chasefield fic I've posted a scene or two for on here called Muse on My Mind, that I wish I could finish but I'm not confident I can manage any time soon. I've also got the start and the outline of a TLT griddlehark fic, where I'm absolutely in love with the premise and the twist I'm building it on, but which, again, I've not progressed much with in a good 6 months. There's a few others, but these are the ones I'd really like to finish at some point.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? 

I love reading it, writing it I could do Dutch or Google translate a different language, but much preferably I'd be able to check it with someone who actually speaks the language for accuracy. Best to use some of the more advanced ao3 html uses to make a translation appear when you hover over it though, unless not understanding it is an important part of the reading experience, in which case people can look it up later if they want to.

19. First fandom you wrote for? 

My very first fic was actually a The 100 song fic based on an opera song, which is too embarrassing so I won't share where it is🤐 I was like 17 so it's too embarrassing.

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

Tbh, it's either Muse on My Mind (the chasefield fic I mentioned that isn't posted anywhere except for 1 or 2 scenes on Tumblr), which is super fun because it's playing with the perspective of a character that just straight up doesn't understand half the plot happening in the background that is hinted at for the reader who does know. Oblivious characters too caught up in their own shit to pay attention are so so so much fun to write, especially when you have fun with it, implying things but never outright confirming it!

Otherwise it's Haunted By Runaway Ghosts. That one is a Sokkla fic that explores their past through flashbacks while Zuko and Katara are both grappling with the discovery of their niece and nephew they had no idea existed (or could exist). Which, not to brag, but from a technical standpoint I really think that one is probably one of the most skilled fics I've written and published, and it was so much fun to write and puzzle it all together; the slow build up and explanations slowly coming together to form the bigger picture, the hidden ties between locations in the show and events in the story and how they fit into each other perfectly - genuinely a joy to write (and if people are interested in reading it please do, imo it's on par with And Iphigenia Felt Rage, if in a pretty different style, definitely something I'd love for more people to enjoy the way I did writing it).

Thanks again for tagging me @celinou, this was very fun to do! I see you've already tagged @sourrind, who I'd have tagged as well, so next I'll tag @dawnsiren @ly0nstea and @likeadragonfruit , and of course whoever else wants to do it!

[sapphire-weapon]

I never paid much attention to Ada in this scene before, because the camera really wants you to focus on Leon and his struggle to pin down and verbalize his feelings -- and that's been at a detriment to myself and my own understanding of the scene.

This scene is really, really tense, actually, because it's not just Leon who's going through it in this moment; it's Ada, too. She keeps glancing over at him in clear discomfort, and it seems like she breaks the silence simply because she can't handle it anymore --

-- which is interesting, because it's often said that someone who's uncomfortable with silence is someone who's uncomfortable with their own thoughts -- and yet Leon would've just let the whole boat ride happen without a word if she hadn't spoken up.

The camera focusing on him is a feint.

This scene isn't about his emotional turmoil or his struggles. It's about hers. Leon being more or less content to sit with the silence -- to be resigned to saying nothing because he doesn't think he'll get an honest answer out of her anyway -- implies that he's already, on some level, reached a point of acceptance with what's happened between them. He doesn't want to relitigate the past, and if the present or future never changes, he won't be disappointed because he expected nothing less.

But for Ada to be so observably uncomfortable tells a different story. Had she been a more impulsive, emotional Redfield-type character, her "You look like you've got something to say." probably would've sounded a lot more like "JUST SAY IT ALREADY. WHATEVER IT IS YOU THINK OF ME, THAT YOU HATE ME, THAT YOU DON'T FORGIVE ME, JUST SAY IT. JUST LET ME HEAR IT."

There's a sense of guilt driving her discomfort. The Leon sitting next to her in this boat isn't the same Leon that she left behind in Raccoon City -- which is still very new information to her that she probably hasn't had a chance to process fully yet. The Leon she knew was sweet and conscientious and just wanted to do the right thing and still had hope in his eyes. The Leon sitting next to her now is an unhappy, hardened killing machine who's seen the end of his own life and is just waiting for the final curtain to come down.

But that's why she tells him that he hasn't changed -- that he just thinks he has. It's something that she thinks he needs to hear, and she might be the only person in the world capable of saying it -- and yet, at the same time, she's the worst messenger for it, because Leon is already assuming that she's insincere.

But Ada never lies to him in RE4make (beyond some slight insignificant dishonesty in their first meeting, which had a weird tone in general because he had her on the back foot and she was not expecting it), and she's not lying now, either. Deep down, the core of who he is is still intact; that's why he's fighting so damn hard and why Ashley still has a chance of making it out alive. It's just that Leon's become so blinded and overwhelmed by his own misery that the whole world looks different to him now, and that extends to what he sees when he looks in the mirror.

Ada sees the tragedy of Leon's character as clearly and astutely as a member of the audience who's played RE2make can. She can see exactly what was taken from him -- and she's blaming herself for it.

Her response of "What do you think?" when he asks her if she's changed is the safest one that she can give him while still being honest.

No, she hasn't changed. But she can't just say that, because his perception of her doesn't match the reality. If she said outright "I haven't changed" Leon would hear "I'm going to betray you again." but what she would actually mean is "I'm here to do a job, the same as last time. And, just like last time, it's not my intention to hurt you in order to do it."

Because I think what Ada is actually struggling with here is the ability to accept that her intentions don't matter and have never mattered. It didn't matter that she didn't want him to get hurt during RE2make. It didn't matter that she wanted/tried to send him away for his own protection. At the end of the day, he ultimately got captured by the CIA because he'd taken a bullet for her and was forced to stay behind while Claire pressed onward. And as a result, what happened to Leon happened to him, and it wouldn't have if Ada had just stayed out of his life or told him the truth sooner. But she also can't go back in time and change it now.

All she can do is stay true to her word this time around -- and so she promises him nothing and only ever makes herself known to him with the intention of being overtly helpful. She keeps trying to extend an olive branch to him, because making peace is all she can do -- because for them, after all that's happened, there's no making up.

Ada's guilt in this moment foreshadows the start of her redemption arc during the post-credits scene. And that is ultimately what this conversation in the boat is meant to achieve.

[sophieinwonderland]

Hey, just read your vent post, and it resonated a lot with me. Always feeling like you have acquaintances and mutuals, not friends, constantly feeling like you're not really a part of any communities you nominally belong to. Feeling like that since childhood, all of it. Have you or your system overall ever looked into BPD? Not to diagnose based on a vent post, but it reads as eerily similar and well. The ICD diagnostic criteria for BPD read like our own damn biography to us when we looked into it. And either way, I hope you find people who you feel you belong with. Hugs from both of us if you need them.

Thank you both. 🫂🫂

I hope it doesn't come off as rude that I kind of laughed at this because BPD doesn't sound like me at all.

But then I realized, well, I don't really know about it that much and I'm not giving it honest consideration. Which is pretty closed-minded and unfair of me. So let's give it that. Because I don't want to be someone who dismisses things out of hand.

Let's check out the DSM.

Let's go point by point.

1. Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment. (Note: Do not include suicidal or self-mutilating behavior covered in Criterion 5.)

I don't think so.

I guess one might say the reason I avoid getting too close to people is because the closer you let someone in, the more it might hurt to lose them, which could be vaguely related.

But for the people I do feel connections too... I don't mind them leaving if that's what they want.

I mean, it hurts. But I wouldn't want to be friends with someone who didn't want to be friends with me. I wouldn't want to cling to a relationship with somebody who felt obligated to be my friend. And I would never change myself to please someone.

So I don't feel like this accurately describes me.

🚫

2. A pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation.

I had to read a bit further into the DSM to understand this, but no. I don't think this applies either. I feel like I have a pretty consistent and stable view of the people around me. I don't feel like I'm idealizing anyone. And I don't experience that sort of devaluation either.

Lately, I'm frustrated with certain people who were friends or mutuals who it feels have turned against me. But it's not even that I think they're bad people or anything for it. I just... I'm sad that it felt like they didn't know me or who I am, and the things they dislike about me are just... who I've always been. And they couldn't see it before.

It makes me feel like the whole thing was a lie in a way because it was an idealized version of me that they saw while the real me was invisible.

Maybe that can be counted as devaluation of a sort. But it's not that I feel like they never cared or that their feelings weren't real. I just don't think they ever understood who I was. And while that makes me sad, I don't even blame them for it.

🚫

3. Identity disturbance: markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self.

I mean, we're a system.

But my own personal identity and self-image seems pretty stable to me. I think my host's is too.

🚫

4. Impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging (e.g., spending, sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating).

We hate gambling, have never done drugs or drank any sort of alcohol, and tend to overthink everything leading to frequent indecision. I wish we could be more impulsive, actually.

🚫

5. Recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures, or threats, or self-mutilating behavior

Nope. Never. We've never wanted to take our life.

There is the self-biting thing, which I got my host to stop for over a year but has come back recently and has leaked over to me unfortunately. But that feels more like an automatic response to anger. And it focuses us somehow. I think it's more of an autism thing, and is tied to relieving pressure from overwhelming emotions.

I don't quite understand it. But I know it's not like we want to feel pain or punish ourselves or anything like that. It's just that it somehow adds... clarity. I can't explain better than that.

(This might apply to the impulsivity category but we would need two things and this is only one.)

🚫

6. Affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood (e.g., intense episodic dysphoria, irritability, or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and only rarely more than a few days).

Not actually sure what this means. If I see something that upsets me sometimes, that can make me angry or sad for a few hours. But... is that actually that abnormal? I'm pretty sure most people can be put in bad moods by things.

❓

7. Chronic feelings of emptiness.

While we might occasionally feel empty, I wouldn't call those feelings chronic.

❓

8. Inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger (e.g., frequent displays of temper, constant anger, recurrent physical fights).

Nah.

I mean, I'm not sure what I would be comparing to. Anger is a normal human emotion. But aside from the self-biting, I think we're pretty good at rolling with the punches. We definitely aren't getting into physical fights, and aren't experiencing constant anger. Even with the amount of time I spend scrolling through syscourse, and the number of hate posts I've gotten, I wouldn't say most of that makes me truly angry.

🚫

9. Transient, stress-related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms.

I mean, I suppose we have dissociative symptoms by being plural. And... I do wonder if the self-biting has a dissociative element to it given that it feels difficult to control.

But no. I don't think this fits either.

🚫

Round-up

Yeah, I don't think we have this.

I mean, you could probably make a case to claim we have the majority of these if you squint hard enough, and treat disorders like horoscopes.

The entry also mentions that people with BPD tend to view themselves as bad, which I think Ghost and I have both felt at different times for different reasons. But I feel like these are brief episodes rather than chronic issues.

We also lack the associated abuse, which I know isn't mandatory, but it's worth noting as well.

I'm glad to have gone through the entry to learn more about the disorder.

But giving it honest consideration, it doesn't fit.

[justice-is-a-weapon]

In vino veritas [Dazai x gn reader]

·•━━━━━━━⋆⋅☆⋅⋆━━━━━━━•·

Chapter 15 / ?

previous | next

TW: mentions of depression

Walking outside I took a seat right next to the door. I took in the view I was presented with. To my left a run down car. It must’ve stood there for god knows how long, considering it was overtaken by rust, the black paint chipping away. I heard some birds chirp nearby. I, however, was not in the mood for chirping.

I took a look at my watch. 4:38 pm. It had taken me exactly 20 minutes to calm down from the fight. At least I had now calmed down so much as to not bash in Dazai’s face when seeing him again. Now I tried focusing on what exactly he had done to avoid letting him trigger me like that again. I recognized a pattern. Dazai will at first ignore any issue he faces while also being completely aware of it, then, when he needs to actually face it or is confronted with the issue, he may snap. This usually leads to the other person involved giving up when they can make the decision to do so. This is the route I assumed his colleagues usually took. Well, it was the easiest way out. But sometimes the easiest way is not the right one. I took route two: Confronting the issue head on. That was my error. Or maybe it wasn’t. It definitely made Dazai turn directly against me. Dazai is very likely to attack even those who he cares about when he feels threatened. I’d need to stay away for now. No provocation. First thing is making him feel safe, not threatened.

I still need to clean that bathroom though. He needs a shower. Or a bath.

I had also been too harsh on him. Maybe I should apologize. Yes. I will apologize.

I took another deep breath. We both fucked up, I thought. I could check his mailbox while I was at it. Nothing except for some bills to pay, advertising and some sort of weekly news subscription. With that I sat down again, leaning back against the wall, closing my eyes.

I imagined Dazai walking out the door, sitting down next to me. He'd first complain about the bills but he’s also saying sorry in my imagination, sorry for causing me all this trouble. I’d tell him not to be sorry, he’s just feeling intense emotions and this meant stuff like this could follow. I don’t blame him. Although him saying sorry would help me immensely. It’d be proof we’re both merely human.

But I’m taken back into reality.

Dazai is not sitting next to me. Instead I’m met with two long legs. My gaze follows from the brown dress shoes, over the beige dress pants, up to the black collar and lastly his face. I’ve settled on calling his hair “piss blonde” by now. He doesn’t like me anyway.

“So why are you sitting out here? Thought he probably ghosted you too.”

It’s more of a statement than a question.

“Well he did,” I finally answered, “But I’m more of a ‘I’ll break into your house if I need to’ type of person y'know?”

“Makes sense.”

I don’t question his response. An uncomfortable silence follows.

“I know you don’t like me.”

He looks at me, not quite expecting me to talk nor my sudden honesty. I just roll my eyes.

“Don’t act like I can’t be honest for once.”

A pause.

“I know that you know that I don’t like you.”

Now it was my turn to quirk a brow at him. Thankfully he answered my unspoken question.

“Dazai told me.”

This made me whip my head towards him. I hated how much I reacted to the simple mention of Dazai. I suddenly felt a bit caught.

“He gave me quite the verbal beating the day after.”

“He did?”

“I’m usually not afraid of Dazai but he seemed pretty determined to change my mind.”

He took another look at me. I prepared myself, thinking harsh words would follow. Kunikida didn’t like me. He didn’t trust me and I knew it.

But I was surprised.

“I don’t completely hate you. But I don’t like you either.”

He sat down next to me. Right where I imagined Dazai just a minute before.

“Just seeing you sit here tells me you’re determined too. I like determination. It’s part of my ideals. I’m a man that is determined to follow my ideals. They give my life meaning.”

“I’d call that fanaticism.”

“To some it might be yes. But that’s not the point I’m trying to make. I was actually trying to tell you there’s traits I like about you too.”

“Oh wow. Thanks for the compliment.”

I said rather sarcastically. I looked up at him, our eyes meeting for a second. He seemed softer. He was serious.

“Thank you for putting up with him. I know he can get a bit difficult.”

I hadn’t expected such kind words from Kunikida. He then shook his head and continued.

“To be honest I don’t get how or why you do it.”

With that he let out a long sigh and rested his head against the wall, looking towards the sky, then closing his eyes. I exhaled, slightly laughing.

“I just try again and again. Why? Because he’s my friend. Of course he’s an ass but I’ll make sure he’s doing okay.”

“You’re something for sure.”

We sat in silence for a second.

“I miss him too, yknow.”

Silence. Then his eyes widened.

“Please don’t tell him I said that.”

Now this made me laugh.

“Don’t worry. I won’t.”

I wanted to ask him another question but didn’t know if it would be too invasive. After some thinking about it I decided to do it.

“Why are you here though?”

“Mainly to check up on him I guess. But someone beat me to it.”

Again, comfortable silence.

“I used the premise of giving him his work stuff. Mainly a lot of documents. But I really just wanted to see if he’s doing okay.”

For a man so focused on ideals instead of emotion Kunikida seemed to actually have a heart. This made me happy. It was proof that I was not talking to a robot.

“Is… Is he doing okay?”

“I think it’s a depressive episode.”

“Oh… I see.”

“But we’re making progress.”

He looked me up and down.

“If you’re making progress, why are you out here?”

“Sometimes getting your ass kicked is also progress.”

A small chuckle from Kunikida.

“How far did you push him?”

“Insulted me, yelled at me, tried to tell me I’m nothing-“

“Oh I see. He’s frustrated.”

“Very much.”

Again we sit in silence.

“And how are you doing?”

This question made me think. How was I doing? Good? Bad? Something in between? To be honest I had no idea.

“Fine?” Was my final answer but it came out as more of a question than a real answer.

“Take care of yourself.”

I said nothing after that.

“Should I go in again?” I asked quietly. “I don’t want to upset him. Or worse, I could flip at him too. I don’t want that.”

“I know you don’t.”

I looked at him shyly.

“What do you say?”

He chuckled quietly, fixing his glasses.

“Get your ass inside.”

·•━━━━━━━⋆⋅☆⋅⋆━━━━━━━•·

[There it is! The long awaited chapter! Thank you for your patience. For anyone wondering what’s going on in my life please go ahead and read the author’s note. Take care!]

[edge-oftheworld]

thinking about i'm still your boy and how from the very start i thought this will be one that grows on me, even if i didn't fall in love with it on the first listen

thinking about how every line adds insecurities to the emotional soundscape of the song, reminding me of chords where you add one note and then the next but they're sustained so each one just keeps playing while the next one joins its sound

sat in the driveway (tired from a drive i'm not sure i should've done) but i can't go in (worrying about seeing someone inside the house) the green fence is fading (it's been so long since i was last/first here) it's sinking in (yeah all of this now i'm questioning what am i doing) wish i was younger (regret, fear of getting older) so i knew the end (fear of uncertainty and bad endings, actually, a terror something i need so badly could go wrong) i'd move to orlando and i'd be your friend (daydreaming about a past that never existed but it suits my fantasy even though there never was a possibility) tore you apart to put me back again (regret, why can't i just exist without hurting people) time's such a bastard and I'm wearing thin (frustration) still in chicago with things that i miss (fragments of me i've left everywhere and i'm spiralling thinking of the good and bad of each place) you can't have tequila without half a gram (remembering my own addictive tendencies and how when i see it in my loved ones i get worried, when i see it in myself i feel ashamed)

it was alright til i got angry. made a fist hole shape in the wall. regret. shame on myself for feeling like that. ruining it. self blame

but with everything that's built up til this point it's no wonder really, no wonder the noise became so loud and so layered in my head that i had to go and punch a wall? i can feel it, my nervous system slowly activating, everything stacking up, i can feel it, not knowing, not understanding what was coming thinking if i could push it down i could maybe overpower it but instead i escape through substances or i go and punch a wall hard enough to break it. you've seen me do both.

i'm still your boy. it's all i can say in the haze while i'm losing my mind. it doesn't fix it.

take it all apart. i want it, miss it, need it, so bad. processing it all, processing me and oh god why am i like this why do i have to ruin everything the minute i think i'm doing alright, doing well. the aftermath of it is now. don't know what's worse, i can't go back. but my nervous system won't relax and i don't understand that yet. don't understand it. don't understand why. all i know is i can't be without you i'd fall in the void. i can't dance around it i've gotta be yours. it's all focused in on that one person. the one lifeline i have so i can breathe through all this self blame and shame and regret that's adding to the pile of everything in my head.

more notes. it's getting ugly, we've used up just about every element of the scale and some notes that aren't even notes but actually out of tune sounds in between the twelve notes on the chromatic scale. (luckily isyb sounds don't actually do this, or we'd hate it). it's torture. of course i'm going to latch onto whatever relief i can find in it. and of course i'm not gonna have the capacity to look very far.

i'm still in orlando or chicago or sydney or wherever really, spread thin and dissociated between memories of places where i've been or my loved one has been, we're blurring together in my brain, spread thin. time is all at once and not at all. can't have tequila without half a gram.

it was alright before i got empty, made a mess of the room in your heart. at least that's what i convince myself. in reality it was messy a lot earlier but i don't realise that i don't go from 0-100 in a moment. i'd been at 99 for so long i just got used to it. but if i wasn't unable to think i'd know. i'd know what i see in the aftermath heavy with guilt. this has happened a thousand times.

i'm still your boy. i remember the good and i want to live in it. do you feel the same way too? don't answer that.

i want it so bad i want it so bad i want it so bad

that's all i know. whether it's addiction to substances or people, a specific person, or maybe it's a good thing, some relief from the noises in my head, this stack of notes or insecurities that never stopped, all i know is it feels right, feels cathartic, the idea of it really, as if this is how it was always meant to be when in fact all i'm asking is for something to bring me back from the very edge of my tolerance down to something that's still very painful but so, so much better because it feels lighter and feels like i can just maybe sustain it. a 95 maybe instead of 99 or 100. a few less sounds, an actual chord with harmonies that aren't fully drowned out. luckily we've got the rest of the album to do this.

[thejhambs]

Canon Jiang Cheng (a bullet point timeline)

This is every instance I could gather where JC is in the novel. I made this around 2 years ago, because I felt like I was being lied to by the fandom about JC's actions, so I decided to create a linear timeline so as to help myself. This contains every instance that JC appears, with the chapter numbers (ExR translation), and all the times he did things, whether good or bad.

It was mostly created to help me understand what I actually thought of JC's character, and how I interpreted him. You guys can check it out, and cross check with the actual novel, lol. Under a read more bc it's Long As Hell

Random Backstories

Chapter 16

How Suibian was named

Chapter 18 

JFM picked wwx off the streets, where wwx grew with his fear of dogs 

Jc laughed at him for this 

Chapter  29 

No one ever told wwx about his parents. JFM did not bother, Madame Yu did not talk to him unless she was whipping him, and telling him to stay away from JC 

Chapter 25

jfm found him in the streets, JC had dogs, JC was forced to send his dogs away, but once they got closer, jc would protect him from dogs 

Chapter 32

Wwx would shoot kites with JC. JC was always second to him 

Their kite was made by JFM and painted by jyl 

Chapter 35

Jc smashed a bowl and cursed when wwx cooked 

Chapter 47

JFM has said wwx's handwriting was careless yet poised 

Chapter 71

extension on how angry jc was about the dogs in his youth. He's jealous that jfm hugged wwx

He rejects when wwx calls him shidi. Interesting to note that WWX never calls him shidi, again

Cloud Recesses

Chapter 13 

JC talks to wwx, seemingly blaming him for the way he fought with lwj, however, he was completely fine with wwx breaking rules, and even demanded the emperor's smile that WWX broke the rules to get 

He was also very amused by wwx's antics, and told him, "good luck" when LWJ came towards him 

Chapter 14 

JC criticizes WWX for discussing the theoretical possibility of demonic cultivation 

He informs him that LQR has punished him 

He says that both LWJ and his uncle hate him now 

Nie huaisang does WWX's punishment, and wwx cheats for him, and is punished once more. JC informs him of that as well 

Lqr sends a letter to JFM, and JFM replies saying that wwx has always been like that, and to take care to discipline him. 

Chapter 15 

Wwx gives lwj porn. JC is mad about this because WWX has brought shame to the clan 

Chapter 16 

JC and WWX finagle their way into a nighthunt, and then they drink in caiyi town 

JC gets jealous of wwx talking to lwj 

Chapter 17 

JC gets mad at wwx flirting with lwj 

He laughs when he gets the loquat, guessing that wwx has been flirting again 

Chapter 18 

Sleepover in wwx and jc's room 

Wwx and jc often have fights 

Lwj comes in the morning to punish him, and wwx explains the situation to jc 

Wwx is punished, and jc carries him on his back out of his own volition 

Jc remembers that he encouraged wwx to break the rules, so does not pin the blame entirely on wwx when lxc asks him what is going on 

Jc has no idea what the severity of wwx's injuries are 

Jc tells wwx to stop focusing on lwj 

The jzx thing happens 

Wwx throws the punch, getting jyl's betrothal cancelled 

Jc tells wwx off for losing face for jyl, and then admits he would have done the same if wwx hadn't 

Wwx mentions that if jc had been the one fighting, maybe jfm would not have come 

Jc feels hurt about this 

He tells wwx to go back to yunmeng, bc he does not like that lwj keeps following him around (interesting, bc this is the reason WWX left, while fanon holds that he left because he was kicked out)

Yunmeng Before Qishan Wen Competition

Chapter 51 

JC is established as a mama's boy 

Jiang cheng and wwx are having an archery competition with the kites. Wwx wins 

Madame Yu's maids get mad 

Madame Yu criticizes JC for fooling around, then blames wwx for his bad influence 

Wwx defends himself. Jc tells him not to provoke her 

Qishan wen competition is revealed 

Everyone agrees that qsw is shameless 

Jyl gives food to wwx, and Madame Yu gets mad 

Jc tells Madame Yu that he'll go and not to be mad. Madame Yu then tells jyl to stop acting like a maid 

She gets mad that wwx has any choice in the matter, and that jfm won't force him to go 

Madame Yu gets mad at jc for defending wwx 

Jc tells wwx not to stir up trouble at the competition multiple times 

Jc holds wwx down when wc comes, warning him not to get into trouble 

Jc warns wwx abt wen zhuliu 

Jyl had given them snacks 

They see lwj, and jc tells him not to pay attention to him

QishanWen/Xuanwu arc

Chapter 45 

Qsw competition 

JC tells wwx that LWJ hates him, and is once again jealous of how wwx pays attention to lwj. He gets mad because he told wwx not to mess with lwj  

Chapter 52 

Jiang cheng rolls his eyes when wwx flirts with mianmian 

Wwx asks to carry lwj, lwj refuses, jc gets mad that he pays so much attention to lwj 

He tells wwx that lwj hates him again 

They go into the xuanwu cave. Wang Liangjiao threatens mianmian, jc holds wwx down. Lwj and jzx defend mianmian 

Wwx gets free of jc and argues with wen chao 

Xuanwu awakens 

 Chapter 53 

Jc calls wen chao an idiot 

Jc fights wen zhuliu 

Wen clan retreats entirely 

Wwx jokes about jc eating his flesh, jc finds it annoying 

Jc carries him and tells him to to shut up 

Wwx tells jc to let him go 

Lwj finds the escape route 

Jc leads everyone to safety, except lwj and wwx who get stuck 

 Chapter 54 

Wwx feels insecure and asks if he's as annoying as jc says he is 

According to wwx, jc will take some time to get back 

 Chapter 55 

They have to wait for jc to rescue them, and wwx gets impatient 

Post Xuanwu Lotus Pier/ takeover of lotus pier 

Chapter 56 

Wwx is rescued 

Jyl makes soup 

Jc is angry that wwx fought 

Jfm congratulates wwx for killing the xuanwu 

Jc gets angry, and says that wwx deserved to die there 

Jfm tells him that that isn't appropriate 

Madame yu gets mad, and says that jc will never be able to beat wwx in jfm's mind 

Madame Yu blames wwx for what happened, says that wen chao would not have hurt lan wangji and jin zixuan 

Jc becomes sad, and plays victim about how no one gives him the credit he deserves 

Wwx promises him that they'll be together forever 

Jc is more similar to madame yu and they both do not have the jiang sect outlook to life

JC says that he doesn’t need to follow the Jiang Sect values to be a leader, citing Lan Yi as an example of a sect leader who did not 

Jc asks if wwx actually likes mianmian, and that she isn't worthy of him bc she's a servant's daughter 

Wwx says that then they would match well, since he is a servant's son 

 Chapter 57 

Lan wangji goes back to his sect without help, and JC is pleased about that 

JC and WWX agree that the wens are gross 

Wwx is bored with playing kites 

The wens have taken their swords 

The youngest shidi is missing, and jc is worried 

Wang lingjiao arrives 

Jc is contemptuous of her 

Wlj gives insane justifications for taking the youngest shidi away 

Jc is angry 

Wlj tells Madame Yu to punish wwx, and Madame Yu does 

Jc is annoyed 

Wwx tells jc not to worry 

Wlj tells Madame Yu that a whipping isn't enough and that she must cut off wwx's hand. Wwx is okay with this, but JC gets very distressed 

There is no hand cutting, but jc helps wwx 

 Chapter 58 

Takeover of lotus pier 

Madame Yu gives jc zidian. She tells wwx that she hates him and brought this to lotus pier 

Madame Yu tells wwx to protect jc with his life 

Jfm comes back 

He tells wwx to look after jc 

Jc is upset 

They see wen ning 

 Chapter 59 

Wen chao and wang lingjiao have a romantic moment, and everyone is disgusted 

Wwx tells jc not to go back to lotus pier, and jc gets mad 

Jc pins wwx to the ground, asks him why he had to save lwj, and tells wwx to die 

Jc cries and is catatonic 

They decide to go to meishan yu 

Jc goes back to lotus pier 

Wwx meets with wen ning, who saves jc, and gets back the bodies of jfm and Madame Yu 

 Chapter 60 

Wn takes them to wq's office 

Jc has lost his core, and he's angry at being in wn's superwisory office 

He tries to choke wwx when he discovers this 

Jc wants to die so he can turn into a ferocious ghost. Wwx tells hims that that isn't possible because of all the soul calming done on him since birth 

Wwx says he knows baoshan sanren who can help jc get his core back 

Wwx says that this core would be for him, and not to reveal his identity 

They go to a remote mountain, and jc has the golden core transfer surgery 

Wwx gets captured and pushed into the burial mounds

WWX becomes demonic cultivator/sunshot campaign

Chapter 61 

Jc has been looking for wwx for three months. He meets with lwj 

 Chapter 62 

JC and wwx meet again when wwx tortures wen chao 

He is very happy to see wwx, and excited about demonic cultivation 

Wwx does not tell him he had been in the burial mounds 

LWJ asks wwx to come back to gusu, but JC says no, and says that wwx is of the jiang sect, and that lwj has no right over him 

Jc is happy abt wwx killing wc and other wens 

 Chapter 48 

During sunshot campaign 

Everyone celebrates wwx's actions in the sunshot campaign except lwj. Jiang Cheng is especially vocal about his support 

Chapter 69

jyl cooked soup, and the jzx misunderstanding happened 

Post Sunshot campaign

Chapter 49 

After the sunshot campaign 

WWX tells JC that NMJ is taller than him. JC asks him if he wants to die 

JZX asks JC about JYL, WWX gets mad at him, and tells JC that he doesn't want to see JZX's face 

JC is polite and says that JYL has been well 

WWX leaves, and JC says that he is always rude

Chapter 69 

Phoenix mountain 

Jc tells lwj not to pay attention to wwx who is flirting with lwj again 

He shouts at wwx for throwing flowers at lwj, and asks if he's a girl 

Wwx jokes about throwing flowers for jc, and jc tells him to get lost 

Jc and wwx make fun of jzx 

Wwx decides to blindfold himself, and jc tells him to take it easy, and to back down when it's enough 

Jzx flirts with jyl 

Jyl is not responsive and jzx gets mad at her 

Wwx tries to take her away, and JZXun stops him 

JZXun is offended wwx doesn't remember him 

JZXun calls wwx presumptuous and a servant's son. 

Chapter 70 

Wwx tries to defend himself, JYL tells him to be quiet and diplomatically defends him, calling him her brother 

Madame jin is embarrassed and JZX then confesses to JYL 

Sect leader yao tells JC that wwx is "quite a character" 

Everyone is angry and jealous abt wwx taking one third of the prey. Good to remember that Nie Mingjue did the same. 

They talk about staying away from the jiang sect and not going to night hunts with them 

They say that yunmengjiang grew in fame only because of WWX, and JC feels a darkening in his heart at that 

 Chapter 71 

Lwj asks wwx to go to gusu lan with him again, but this time, he is more diplomatic, and wwx is not actually offended. They get along well 

Jc tells wwx not to hang out with lwj anymore, and tells him to carry his sword with him 

He says that JGY is only good enough to greet the guests, nothing more 

Wwx asks jc if he wants jyl and jc together. WWX does not, but jc is happy about this match 

Wwx asks jyl for comfort. She gives it to him and spoils him 

Jyl makes soup, and jc and wwx bond. JC eats all the meat, and WWX doesn't get any 

Wwx finds wq 

 Chapter 72 

Wwx calls out the lanlingjin sect 

Jgs tells him not to be so presumptuous just because JC isn't there 

Lwj tries to calm him down 

Wwx frees the wen prisoners 

Burial Mounds with Wen Remnants arc

Chapter 73 

Crisis in the cultivation world, everyone has a meeting 

JC offers to compensate the Jins 

He says that they owe wen ning and wen qing 

Nmj says wq never stopped the violence wrh wrought 

Jc does not disagree with him 

Jgs warns jc about wwx getting too big for his boots 

He tells him that wwx said he did not care about jc 

Lwj stands up for wwx, says that he never said that 

Jgy stands up for jgs, and jc believes jgs 

Mianmian defends wwx, and leaves her sect. Lwj talks to her, they part happily 

Jgs talks about how wwx has been plotting to go to burial mounds 

Jc says that wwx is just like that 

Jgs says he's like that because jfm spoiled him 

Jc then agrees to deal with wwx 

They meet at burial mounds 

Wwx doesn't intend to leave LP 

JC sees that the prisoners are the old, the weak, and the young 

Jc tries to get rid of wn's corpse. Wwx stops him. Jc tells wwx that he's too ambitious 

Jc is angry, but wwx says that if jc cannot protect him, then he will leave the ymj sect, and cut all ties 

Jiang cheng then says that wwx is unaffiliated with him and an enemy to the entire cultivation world 

 Chapter 74 

Wwx has not heard anything from the outside since he and jc fell out. He heards of jyl's marriage from lwj 

He makes excuses for jc 

 Chapter 75 

JC brings JYL to meet with WWX 

JYL is dressed up in her wedding clothes and brings soup for wwx 

Wwx names JL 

 Chapter 76 

Qiongqi path 

Wwx is invited to the baby shower, and buys jl a gift 

Jin zixuan dies 

 Chapter 77 

Wq and wn decide to sacrifice themselves, and wwx is angry 

Jyl is upset 

 Chapter 78 

Nightless city 

Wwx kills many cultivators, everyone is toasting to their bravery, jc says nothing 

Jyl gets injured, jc tells wwx to make the corpse go away 

Someone tries to shoot jyl, and she defends wwx and dies 

A random dude accuses wwx of causing the death of jfm and Madame Yu 

post wwx resurrection 

prologue 

siege of burial mounds, no one knows exactly how wwx died, but it was confirmed that JC was a major force and led the siege. This is a political fact 

 chapter 7 

We meet JC. He is cheating to make sure Jin Ling wins. LWJ destroys the nets he used to trap random cultivators 

Anger issues come out, when JC strokes his ring, he has the intent to kill. This is also obviously not from wwx POV, but from omniscient third person pov 

 chapter 8 

jiang cheng decides not to fight lwj because he isn't sure if he'd win. Also in omniscient third person POV

 Chapter 10 

WWX summons WN, JC thinks he is WWX 

With Zidian, any rational person would assume that he's wrong, but he doesn't 

He thinks about taking wwx back to torture him. It is clearly his thoughts that are shown as he talks about having done something like this before 

He and lsz discuss about WWX's importance. LWJ takes WWX back to CR 

Wwx calls JC competitive, but his strategy works exactly because he's right abt JC 

 Chapter 11 

Jingyi gossips about Jiang Cheng, and his torturous ways 

 Chapter 23 

Jiang Cheng and Jin ling are there. 

They both have an inability to be nice 

JC sees wwx, captures him, and the YMJ disciples pay off a shop owner, who looks extremely scared 

YMJ disciples all form a barricade around the shop 

Jin Ling finds the expression on JC's face scary 

 Chapter 24 

JC borrows JL's spiritual dog to help torture wwx 

He asks wwx if he has anything to say to him 

Wwx says he doesn't 

He says wwx "never learns" 

Wwx says that jc hasn't made any progress 

Jc sets the dog on wwx, and wwx calls out lwj's name. This makes jc mad 

Jc says some homophobic things abt LWJ

Wwx tells him to watch his language 

Jc tells wwx that he didn't watch his language with jin ling 

Jin Ling saves wwx, and wwx apologizes to him for saying that he didn't have a mother to raise him 

Chapter 25 

Wwx was hit by zidian, and his leg was numb. He didn't notice until lwj pointed it out. He says it was a good thing Jiang Cheng didn't kill him 

Chapter 32 

Kids playing cultivator talk about how JC led the siege that led to wwx’s death

Chapter 35 

Jl is afraid jc would really break his legs for letting wwx go 

Chapter 36 

Wwx tells JL not to imitate his uncle by participating in his shenanigans and criticizing him 

Chapter 38 

Wwx tells jl to take out ymj's clarity bell 

Chapter 43 

JL tells everyone abt how WWX betrayed the jiangs, and how jc is the only one left. He says that Madame Yu wasn't "that horrible to him" 

WN has heard of how JC led a siege and killed wwx 

Chapter 45 

Jiang Cheng never told anyone WWX was afraid of dogs, and if he had, no one would believe him 

Chapter 47 

Discussion at carp tower, jc asks lwj why he has taken a sudden interest in sect meetings despite not being interested before 

JL is too afraid to meet jc without jgy 

Jgy defends jl 

JL says his appetite has been bad, but jc gets mad and says that he looks very healthy 

Wwx says that jc can't teach kids 

Chapter 50 

Jc asks zewu jun what is happening after jgy kills his wife 

Jgy confirms that mxy is wwx 

Jgy explains why mxy wasn't caught by zidian 

Chapter 65 

Jgy says wwx betrayed ymj 

Chapter 66 

Wwx roasts jc's naming style 

Chapter 68 

Juniors are captured in burial mounds, and saved by the cultivators 

Jl is afraid of jc, but jc threatens him 

Jiang cheng is surrounded by the cultivators who hate wwx, and they ally with him 

Chapter 79 

Jc threatens jl because he's not injured for getting into trouble 

Everyone loses their powers 

Chapter 80 

Jc says that they're not stupid enough to not notice problems 

Chapter 81 

Jc gives zidian to jl when only juniors have powers 

Jc is mad at wn 

Jc threatens jl again 

Chapter 82 

Jc tells jl that if he goes with wwx, then not to call him uncle anymore 

Jc laughs when someone accuses wwx again 

Chapter 83 

Jc lets wwx come back to lotus pier, even though he's disgusted 

Chapter 84 

Jc is mad bc jl is crying 

He threatens ouyang zizhen 

He talks to the guards 

Chapter 85 

Jc lets the prostitutes talk 

Chapter 86 

Jc calls wwx mannerless for roaming around LP with LWJ 

Chapter 87 

LP Ancestral hall 

JC gets mad, more about wwx bringing lwj to the hall than about him 

He accuses lwj for the takeover of lotus pier 

Chapter 88 

JC fights with wwx 

Golden core reveal happens 

Chapter 89 

More core reveal 

Chapter 90 

Lwj is mad, wwx makes excuses for jc again 

Chapter 92 

Wwx and lwj talk to the locals, who are too afraid of jc to go to the jiang sect for help 

Chapter 99 

Jiang cheng is angry and confused 

Chapter 101 

JGY tells wwx that jc doesn't care about him. WWX takes this casually, but JC gets very upset.

JGY tells JC that he is so strong only because he has wwx's core 

Chapter 102 

Wwx is upset that JC knows 

JC is upset that WWX hid it for so long 

He mockingly tells wwx that he's so much better than him 

He asks if he doesn't deserve to hate wwx 

Jc asked wwx why he left 

Wwx apologizes for breaking his promise 

Jc feels terrible about himself 

Chapter 103 

JC apologizes 

Wwx says not to take it to heart, and to take it as repayment 

Jc then brings up everyone in his family 

Wwx tells him to forget it 

They both are mad, but there is no reconciliation 

Chapter 104 

Jgy takes a pragmatic outlook about blaming wwx 

Jc is very upset 

Jgy makes fun of him and tells him that nothing would have happened if he had protected wwx, and tells him he was the one who killed wwx 

Chapter 108 

Jc gives chengqing back to wwx 

Chapter 110 

Jc wants to tell wwx that he did protect him with the wens, but does not 

He also does not hit jl despite almost doing it 

[ghoooooooooooooooost]

i had to reread n edit this before posting like i was going over an essay jesus christ ((tristamp spoilers))

tldr; i was honestly disappointed but i still don't think it was completely awful + i hope if they do a 2nd season it's better *wants to see milly*.... fuck the director though

EDIT!!! 2nd season was confirmed so you can ignore the points where i question if it will happen lol

EDIT 2 actually idt i'll watch the 2nd season... for reasons that just hit me so.... + fuck night*w as well

most of this was written before the finale eek

the major problems were that the pacing was soooooo weird n some of the changes (both story wise and design wise) they made were questionable esp towards the latter half

my positive points:

i do still think individual eps at the first half were really good

i loved the animation + how they used colors

the backgrounds are cool

the artstyle shift in wolfwood's flashback was cool

i've always been "ok" abt vashwood honestly (sorry) but i will acknowledge they were very yaoiful here. i saw a person who didn't ship vashwood say the ep in tristamp where they literally just met made them ship it which was really funny bc how did that change your mind so fast

i'm ngl the milly + eriks name drops made me *JAWDROP* but that's something that only matters to ppl who watched/read the ogs first

my negative points (uh oh):

white washed wolfwood (+ his skintone is soo inconsistent in merch)

they gave vash no room to breathe n he doesn't get big sillay moments after ep 3

^ this is true for every character except i guess roberto? more on roberto later

^^^ goes with the previous too points but it felt like they were way too focused on the drama n sadness without enough (long lasting) happy or hopeful moments to contrast or balance it out overall - to the point were the characterization of our main cast suffered for it bc there wasn't enough there with them to make that properly work. and THEN the silly moments ended up suffering too bc they start feeling out of place. the drama beats kept happening one after the other at breakneck speed without breaks, messing up the pacing as well (i can kinda blame this at least partially on the fact they only had 12 eps when the og was 26 eps but i've watched plenty of 12 ep series with great pacing so i don't really know what happened here?)

i disagreed with this at first, but the lore with vash being front-loaded really did hurt the story a bit in the long run. obviously they did still spread the full details out over the course of the show but it was :\

specific to "the running man"- it's my fav ep tbh but it was strange how all the townsfolk were partying w the nebraskas with no indication they'd arrest them after they did so much damage n vash didn't even get to fix the damaged plant?? so why were they so joyous when the initial problem wasn't solved?

roberto.... was such a weird character... he managed to be both a dick n a guy w no personality, he was there to give exposition + attempt to be funny? n then die. also the marketing staff fucking hates him he's never in any merch wtf ((edited after the finale: well now we know he wasn't meant to replace milly (i had a whole paragraph complaining abt that lol) + now i feel like they added him just to kill someone other than wolfwood off))

i can't speak much on elendria bc i had so much trouble reading trimax forever ago that i never retained anything abt her other than she's trans, but everything involving her in tristamp felt strange/ like it didn't work. i have essentially same feeling about livio here. they threw legato to the side??

what the fuck was the thing with the plants towards the end. it just hit me what the hell

minor nitpicks:

i miss the old anime's ost :( tristamp's ost isn't bad by any means n there are tracks that i really like it's just idk man. especially with the the op song, i couldn't get myself to not skip the op SORRY. could you imagine how hype it would've been if a new rendition of H.T. or NO-BEAT started playing

i'm fine with stamp vash's design (blasphemous i know) but man would'n've one of his og coat designs worked well in 3d? i feel like it would've ((added after the finale: the new coat did look nice in black + they brought back his old hair in the last ep tho so. MAYBE... IN SEASON 2.... CLASSIC COAT....? *delusional*))

NO LOVE & PEACE?!?!?!?!

one of my nitpick points was that they technically didn't give vash the black hair bc i really wanna see it animated one day but assuming they are teasing a season 2 maybe they will eventually. but then how...?

[s3xtones]

hiii ily,

this might be quite long so sorry about that :/

theres a pretty lady i’ve known a very long time who i am very much in love with. i feel as though we’re bound by that in a way, she knows i love her without me having to tell her and i know she loves me. ig the bond that we have isn’t enough tho since we’ve tried several times before and it never ends up working out for us. she mostly blames it on herself and her ‘self sabotaging tendencies’ but there’s been times where i’ve been so horrible and so obviously at fault and it’s almost as if we start off beautifully but we both become almost chaotic and end up splitting again.

we’ve spent a lot of time apart and as of right now i feel as tho we’ve both matured a lot and my love for her is just as strong if not stronger than before. we talk less but it’s almost as if we don’t need to, whenever we do however we always clarify and honour the love we still have for each other even tho we’re separate. i really do believe in a relationship with her and i’m not close to giving up on that but my problem is that i’m worried that she struggles focusing on someone long term in general.

we mostly stay out of each others way now, checking up every once in a while. she has a boyfriend now too which doesn’t bother me in itself but he’s sort of the object of the issue. i don’t mean to sound cocky but i know that i could take her back whenever i wanted, boyfriend or not. that’s where the problem arises tho because they’ve only been together around 2 weeks and in that time alone she’s flirted with me and mentioned (not directly to me) that she’d ‘literally die for me’ and hates that she sabotaged our relationship calling herself insane for doing it :( .

as i’ve mentioned i do see a future with her. i love her and i want her and i guess i’m selfish in the sense that if we were guaranteed to last, i wouldn’t have any problems taking her away from her boyfriend at all. the only reason i’m reluctant is because i feel like if she can’t focus on her current man for 2 weeks without running back to me at 4 in the morning, then she’s not ready for something long term and i’d hate for us to go through the effort of getting back together just for it to end in a couple weeks. i really feel torn because i want her to myself but i see no longevity in us. i think if tried to focus on the person she’s wit now it’d prove to me that it’s possible for us to have something long term. we’ve had a connection ever since we met and i feel so drawn to her. she’s a real angel to me and i wish her sm peace and happiness regardless of our circumstances. i really need a new perspective. tysm for reading this and giving advice if u do <3

oh and btw she shares ur first name <3

lots of love <333

A DOOMED LOVE STORY.

Idk taking her from her man is just an ego / pride move n a terrible way to get back into the relationship. Based on what you’ve told me , i think y’all are both confused on what you actually want from each other and what to do with the feelings you have for one another. the space is good for now and actually maybe there should be even MORE SPACE. Her Reachin out at 4am is not a good thing cause she’s creepin and even though to you that’s a sign you can “take her” it’s also evidence of the overlying problem, COMMITMENT!

If y’all both cannot commitment 100% it’s never gon be right.

Commitment takes trust, faith, love , discipline, loyalty and a lot of self reflection.

It feels weird to let go of someone so familiar they felt like home. You get to reminiscing bout old good times n wishing you could do it all over again but the reality is it cannot work with the way things are. People never change, they do grow and mature but people do not change their ways and who they are at their core.

idk im still trynna figure out my own situation and this made me cry. Reiterating what i said, there’s a difference yearning for the love once shared and missing someone you’re too afraid to let go of but you don’t really want cause then you’re actually alone.

Let her go fr n if y’all are meant it will be.

ily2 n i wish you the best, focus on u fr build ur dream life in the meantime

ARIEL WHEREEVRR U ARE U BETTER GET RIGHT N REALIZE WHAT U WANT AND WHAT YOU DESERVE. YOU ARE WORTH THE BEST!

[ask-the-diamond-kingdom]

(@askmewntwo) Mewtwo @ Yuuto: Oh… you look kinda like me! Has it been hard for you? Being… whatever we are? I feel like I’ve been having a pretty rough time with things…

You would think after the earlier Mewtwo that Yuuto wouldn't be surprised to see another not too long after. That turns out not to be case. I guess it was gonna take a bit to adjust to the knowledge that there was more of him out there...that potentially were crafted in similar ways....with different forms of things they dealt with. Regardless, Yuuto stared at Mewtwo, making sure not to stare too long in case they made the fellow Pokemon uncomfortable.

"I must admit...it's nice to see more Pokemon similar to me making their appearance in the world. It makes me....special I suppose," Yuuto scratched his chin with his own paws. He haven't quite realized he spoken outside of telepathy. "It...has been hard adjusting with being what I am. I think...the ones who made me called my "species" a Mewtwo. Not the most creative name in the world, but it's fine for now. In the name, I still have a name that I call myself. Regardless, I had to do a lot of adjusting. I had to set my own schedule, boundaries and work out...what I want in life. I had to basically learn to deal with things that...most Pokemon would have dealt with by now at time where I'm the most sensitive and vulnerable. The only reason why I'm not at a state where I'm not breaking down is because Tanaka. Tanaka has made adjusting to life so much easier...and I'm happy that she's my other half."

You can almost feel the affection in his voice as he talks about Tanaka. "But I can't blame you for having a rough time. I don't know what you dealt with, but I assume you probably must dealt with being separated from your own caretaker." He was careful with his choice of words as he wasn't sure of the relationship this Mewtwo had with this creator. As such, he didn't want to make the assumption that they hated them. "If you want my piece of advice, I would take things slow. Explore your surroundings and try to adjust to what it has to offer. Things will be overwhelming at first, and that's ok. Try focusing on small things."

He actually smiled gently at Mewtwo. "...And if you're capable of changing forms, you should make sure to stick to that disguise whenever you can." For the briefest of second, his appearance shifted to that of his Gardevoir/Espeon disguise form before he shifted back to normal.

"I hope that helps!"

@askmewntwo

[akgaereporter]

nct: taeyong and haechan's silly ass "scandals" recently

tldr: a week or so ago taeyong posted a tiktok with chaewon's "dododok" mistake and got so much hate from knetz he deleted it + a few members were dancing during yuta's ment at nct nation and people were calling them disrespectful for that but only focused on haechan.

so im coming to tumblr to rant because twitter stans are getting on my fawking nerves and i know everything i say on that hellish app is pointless because dumb btches will always be dumb btches.

honestly being an nctzen on twitter has never been enjoyable for an extended period of time because this godforsaken fandom is literally a homeless shelter for so many deranged chronically online kpop heads to beg for their pennies of attention. if we're being fr a lot of it has to do with the fcked up management of the group itself.. sm entertainment when i catch you in the streets ..

but recently the way two members in particular have been treated.. i cant even blame the fckass company for this level of degeneracy. yall just bitter and have an average screentime of 10 hours because how can you get so bored of supporting your fav you just start hating on them??? for no reason at all???

a couple days ago ty posted a tiktok with a silly remix audio of chaewons "dododok" mistake she made at a le sserafim's show on tour. that mistake literally went viral and basically all of the kpop industry laughed and copied it and called it cute, because that's what it is, just a cute little mistake we can giggle at and move tf on. the audio ty used was funny and created a trend that is currently going viral in korea.

instead of laughing, calling it a cute interaction, and going about their lives, knetz decided to wake up and be horrible people. what else is new bruh. of course big bad ty had an evil plan to mock the poor defenseless kim chaewon for her terrible mistake that deeply affected her..

please i almost kilt myself when i saw he deleted the tiktok. this is how jesus fans felt when he died like ty is quite literally an angel, his eyes sparkle and he giggles instead of laughing, how can you take him in as a person and still decide to actually bully him for next to nothing. like.. maybe you need to die idk.

and what gets me is the way they were acting like she said her dad died and he used an audio of that. its not that fcking serious dawg. she laughed at the damn joke herself and if they dont stop and pray that he privated the vid instead of deleting i will actually place a generational curse upon the families of pannchoa girls who cant keep his name out their mouth and I STAND BY THAT

and my bias, my boyfriend actually, my snookie ookie pookie bear haechan, god give me strength before i type this bullsht : during the last nct nation concert yuta started giving his ment in japanese, and some members at the other end of the line began dancing and messing around. they immediately stopped when ty motions them to. again, it isnt that fcking serious, but jobless neo investigators created discourse out of it. they didn't interrupt yuta or cause a fuss, they were literally just fidgeting around to pass the time because 20 speeches is a whole lot to listen to in silence.

but of course, its way more serious for nctzens, and furthermore haechan is the main evil villain of princess yutas fairy story. literally half the line started doing the dance but the only tweets getting likes included haechan's name. what the fck is wrong w these hoes seriously when i saw those tweets i thought they punched yuta in the face or sum. when i watched it i had a damn jaw drop at the audacity of these folk. they just keep getting worse at masking the animosity they have for their own favs, haechan in particular. yall claim to be his fans but jump on a hate train that isn't even 2 seconds old like.. are you even trying to like him? the video clearly shows the other members moving too, but somehow their eyes can only see haechans pretty little face and they just cant stand seeing him babygirling the way he did on the 17th of september 2023. it was never that fcking serious bitch, keep your nasty sticky keyboard fingers away from husband 1 and wife 2, i actually cannot stand seeing yall harass them for the stupidest pettiest shit this far and this many hits into their career. you literally know none of them have any ill intent behind the actions they do publicly, unless they say or do something outright offensive or malicious. so until they tell chaewon she's a stuttering ass bitch or roundhouse kick yuta off the stage, shut it up and stop using them for hit tweets damn

all of this just ties back to the fact nctzens are constantly watching THEIR OWN FAVS waiting for them to slip up. knetz chose ty and intlzens chose haechan. yall need to choose yourselves and get the fcking help you need because its not normal to hate on people you have a fan account for. be careful who you call oomf cause these fawking hybrid bitches got split personality disorders, all it takes is alt account and a dream. this is what happens when you choose silly idol boys instead of therapy and i mean that in the most helpful way

going to sleep mad asf smh

-also i was looking for taehyuck pics to put as a header for this post and i realized there's literally almost none?? hello?? haechan taeyong do yall even know each other?? not even a photoshoot or anything just some 10p quality debut pictures like damn haeyong nation yall are dead as hell 😢

[badbacksadsack]

I am literally forcing myself to be the bigger person, my ex is disrespectful, hurtful and shameless but I have to stay focused if I want to keep myself and my mental health safe. I know as much as it hurts right now, as much as I feel betrayed, this feeling temporary. I know he is already fetishising and using someone else, robbing them of their money and mental energy but as much as I’m hurt to my core, I have to recognise that this is a win, because I am in control of my life, not other people’s actions and honestly that’s not who I want to give access to me anymore. And as much as I didn’t want to do this alone again. I know taking care of myself and my mental health is my only priority. That also includes not airing out my dirty laundry and business in front people who weren’t involved or honestly don’t have to listen; family, friends, colleagues, it is no longer my burden to deal with proving to or having others validate that I am in pain. It feels like a performance. I am finally getting over my over responsibility to constantly worry about this person, feeling like I HAD to get that (horrible) person to where they needed to be, but also understanding that I have bigger things to focus on and another persons goal should never have been my goal. I can’t help but feel so used by them, but I know I was also offering help. I hate being so self sacrificing sometimes, that sick pleasure in helping take care of broken birds. I really couldn’t understand why anything wasn’t being reciprocated, I remember thinking back then, every time I got nothing in return when I was expected to give everything I felt like my ancestors were probably wondering the same thing. I could no longer allow myself to be someone’s stepping stone. To be stepped on so someone else can get to where they want to get to, I have so much grace and intrinsic value as a human being even if it didn’t feel like that before. I deserve much more than I’ve ever allowed myself or been allowed to have. I will not let others define me. And I will sit with myself as I cry, every day if I have to if that’s what it takes to heal, because I’ve never felt that before. I am reminding myself gently that I am whole by myself, I was carrying the team on my own in my last relationship and I want my future love to be my equal. But even before that I want to love myself unconditionally, I am trying my absolute best. when I’m upset, I’m learning how to create safe and calm spaces, when I’m triggered, I’m self reflecting more rather than jumping to blame. I did not ask to experience what I have and I will not blame myself for trying my absolute hardest to make that joyless trauma bonded situation work. Bitterness, spite or vengeance won’t bring me joy or lasting peace, it just robs me of the time and space to create happier moments. I genuinely want to feel better because that’s what I know I deserve. I have to create that peace and stability or it won’t just happen. I hope that I can manifest a much calmer, wholesome existence from this point forwards. Is it cliche to start a vision board? who cares actually, maybe recreating what has worked for others, to help keep that goal or vision for a individual version of a great life is the key 🔑 I’m struggling but who isn’t, I will validate myself more because I always needed someone, anyone to say I was doing a good job and at 27 I’m realising that I can be that for myself