#been thinking about this since i did that uhh edit a little more than a month ago

[ghstzzn]

so needy — enhypen hyung line

pairing(s): enhypen hyung line x fem!reader (separate!)

genre(s): pure smut. with some plot from overexplaining.

tags/warnings: SMUT! MDNI! needy but not quite subby, rough & sloppy unprotexted sex, face fucking, jake munch agenda, masturbating (m. rec), male whimpering yupp, lots and lots of descriptions of boners, seriously they are all hard. no prep for reader, exhibition heh.. (parking lot & bathroom at a party), tried my hardest to go needy im a hard!dom writer im sorry, creampie, one pullout method, cum eating, cum... feeding?, biting, uhh lmk if i missed any srsly. wc: 3.2k. 400-700 for each

💭: WE LIKE OUR MEN IN HEAT GROWLS🦅🦅🦅 @jjunieworld and i. we went insane. i went insane. i seriously tried to make them needy and jakes is probably the closest ill ever get to writing a subby idol. its hard. sorry. ill try harder because i like this i think. <3 i need to get them pregnant asap.

heeseung had been in the recording studio since he had woken up, and yet he still had a long night ahead of him due to editing and touch ups. he was going insane.

you had sent him a selfie of you when you woke up, complaining about him being gone. it was innocent. but heeseung has been rock hard since.

his thoughts were full of you— every lyric had just reminded him of you and fuck he’s never needed you this badly before. the pillow that he’s kept on his lap all day felt like a fucking brick and he’s been subconsciously bucking his hips into it.

heeseung lets out a groan, throwing his head back as he cups his hardened cock through his flimsy sweats. he cannot take it anymore. pulling out his phone, he shoots you a text, complaining that he was hungry and didn’t feel good— a little lie because he knows if he told you he was painfully hard, you’d just tell him to wait. he can’t do that.

you’re so sweet to him, truly, you ask him if he’s okay and tell him you’ll be there in ten.

the door automatically locks when it's shut and you walk up to him, resting your hand on his forehead. he is feeling warm. heeseung leans into your touch and groans softly before grabbing your wrist, throwing the pillow and sitting you on his lap.

not even three minutes later, he’s thrusting up into you relentlessly. you’re desperately trying to grip onto anything, his shoulders, the chair and even the equipment table behind you. heeseungs grip on your hips is tight, bruising even. 

you’re both already cumming, the pace he set was too much for you and he’s simply been hard way too long to last more than seven minutes. though, as soon as he emptied himself inside you, he’s lifting you out of his lap, shoving aside an expensive keyboard and shoving your face down onto the table.

“fuck- fucking take it,” he spits as he continues pounding you from behind. “b-been so fucking hard all day, all because of you.”

his cock is hitting the most sensitive spots with his brutal speed, you almost feel as if you really did something wrong. you reach up to grip onto something, knocking into a few buttons in the process, turning on some music— which honestly helped cover the sounds of your moans but probably not necessary due to the soundproof room.

“hah- heeseung it’s t-too much!” you manage to squeak out, hiccuping and whimpering.

you’re spasming around his cock once more, he sloppily thrusts into you a few more times before pulling out and emptying himself on your lower back. you weakly lift yourself to peek behind you, glancing back and forth between his still hard cock and his eyes that were full of nothing but lust. 

heeseung will be here all night— and so will you.

─────────────────

jay thought it’d be a good idea, a great one! he brought you with him to tour some fancy guitar museum he was invited to. you both were so excited to attend, throwing on your best outfits— which included that one dress that jay absolutely went feral for.

he could barely focus on the guitar he was testing out when you were sitting so pretty and patient in front of him, smiling and cheering him on. he didn’t even realize he was fucking up the chords, face red when he realized it wasn’t just you and him in the room.

you sat in the acoustics room with him, dress riding up your legs, leather jacket hanging off your shoulder as you watched him pick at each string with so much adoration in your eyes.

jay was going to go fucking insane. he can feel himself hardening at the mere sight of you— truly he’s usually better at keeping himself kept in public.

when you asked so sweetly to try out at guitar yourself, he thought he would combust right there.

he helps you choose a guitar, slipping the strap around your neck and even setting up the amp for you. jay sits back and watches as you play around with different chords you’ve picked up from him, but his eyes refuse to leave your fingers.

the way they delicately pluck each string or how they grip the guitar pick, how your other hand grips the neck of the guitar to hold down strings. he almost groans when he watches you almost struggle to fit them around it.

if only that were his cock. 

jay has to keep yanking and pulling at his jeans. he almost grabs the guitar from you just to cover his inevitable boner. his jaw is clenched, he wants to leave so fucking bad. he’s seconds away from pulling you into the closest room and tarnishing his image just to fuck you.

finally, your time at the guitar center was over. jay’s practically dragging you to the car and you aren’t even sure why. maybe you did something to upset him?

as soon as you reach the car, he’s sandwiching you between him and the cold surface. your boyfriend doesnt waste a second before grabbing your hand and forcing you to grab his throbbing cock through his jeans.

“for the past four fucking hours,” he grits out, nuzzling his face against your cheek, “four fucking hours that i’ve been so fucking hard. because of you.”

your face is red and you’re whipping your head around the parking lots, it’s almost empty thankfully— and dark outside. “i-i did this?”

he groans in the crook of your neck, “please, baby, fucking need you now.”

those are the only words you need to get you to drop to your knees. your hands shake slightly as they fumble with his belt, pulling it apart and yanking his jeans down just enough to free his cock. 

it’s practically red and leaking, you almost pout when you think about your poor boyfriend being that hard for so long because of you.

jay seems to not like how long you're taking because he’s immediately taking your hair into his fist and smacking his tip against your lips. you eagerly invite his length into your mouth, using your hands to work whatever you can’t fit. 

he has to hold back from cumming right there. the way your lips wrap around him so well, your throat struggling to take him. this is exactly what got him hard in the first place. jay rocks his hips back and forth, pushing his cock further and further into your mouth.

“yeah- fuck. taking me so well, huh?” jay mutters, biting his lip to contain his grunts. “thought about this exact fucking thing in there. so pretty around my cock.”

his words make you hum in arousal, sending vibrations down his length. jay groans and throws his head back, pushing you further down his cock. the gag that rips from your throat is almost enough to make him empty himself all over your face.

jay continues to practically fuck your mouth. your hands drop to grip his thighs as you let him use your mouth however he pleases. both of his big hands in your hair, forming a messy ponytail tail as he continues to thrust into you roughly.

“fuckfuckfuck! almost there, baby.” he’s almost whimpering, it’s so good. after a few more thrusts, he’s pulling out and cumming, emptying himself onto your cheeks and lips. 

there’s so much cum you have to take him back into your mouth to save yourself from a messy shirt.

jay pants as you ride him through his intense orgasm. needless to say, he’s fucking you again in the car this time.

──────────────────

jake was restless. he was quite literally rolling around on your bed as you ignored him for some stupid fucking book.

“jake, i seriously need to cram this by tonight. then we can hang out!” you promised him.

six fucking hours ago. he groans loudly, loud enough to make you scoff and shake your head.

“why don’t you go play on my pc?” you suggest sweetly, “you love the games i have on there!”

“i dont want to do that.” 

you sigh and shrug your shoulders in response, you already told him countless times that you were busy and he’s the one who chose to stay.

“baby, please just take a break.” he pleads. “there’s no way you’re finishing this by tonight.”

he rolls over on his stomach and grips onto your leg, sporting a dramatic expression. jake was right, there was no way you were finishing any of your work tonight, but that almost gives you more reasons to not take a break. 

“the sooner i finish, the sooner i'll be all yours baby.” you tell him, patting his fluffed up hair down, messy from rolling around.

he groans again, “noo, baby i want you- no i need you now!”

“why are you so antsy right now, jake?” 

jake drops his head into your lap, muffling his voice. “ ‘m so horny.”

“hm?” you hum, not quite hearing him. he only responds by softly kissing your inner thighs, unable to hold back any longer.

he pushes his jean clad cock against your soft mattress as he travels down your thighs, leaving a trail of kisses behind. 

“jake.”

“i said im horny. im so fucking horny and you smell so good.” he repeats, lifting his head to look you in your eyes.

your brain freezes at his words. “i… i’ll be done soon, i promise- just-“

he cuts off your words by pressing a desperate kiss over your clothes cunt, sending shivers down your spine. you can feel yourself getting wet by his needy and desperate actions.

“jake!” you whimper out when he licks a stripe over your pajama shorts. he doesn’t even care that you’re still fully clothed, a piece of flimsy fabric won't stop him.

your boyfriend continues to make out with your cunt through your shorts, shifting to bite and suck at your thighs. “pleaasee.” he lets out a muffled whine.

you’ve already dropped your books and papers beside you, soft whimpers leaving your mouth as your hands find their spot in his long hair. “fuck— jake slow down!”

jake shakes his head, his own hands moving to yank down your sleep shorts. he knew you weren’t wearing panties, and he’s pretty sure that’s what got him so horny in the first place. the amount of times he looked down at your thighs to catch small glimpses of your ass and cute cunt because they were barely covered.

it took so much restraint to not shove his aching cock between your thighs— make you forget all about your boring paperwork.

jake attaches his lips to your clit, sucking and practically making out with it. every now and then he shoves his tongue as deep as he can inside your oozing hole, gathering all your juices on his tongue and slurping.

you can’t tell who's moaning louder, you or him. he’s attacking your cunt with everything he has all while rutting his hips into your mattress, attempting to pleasure himself but he could honestly cum untouched as long as he had your sweet pussy in his mouth.

he’s groaning against your cunt and letting out incoherent curses, “f-fuck.. hmph so- so good.”

your eyes roll to the back of your neck and you can feel the heat pool in your lower stomach.

“jake- gonna cum, please dont fucking stop!” 

jake listens well, continues to suck and lap at your wetness as if its his last fucking meal. you don't even notice his hand leaving your thigh to jerk himself off but when you do— it pushes you immediately over the edge. 

you tremble as you cum all over his mouth, and he only eagerly slurps it up. he doesn’t pull away and until you yank him up by his hair, you stare at his soaked lips, your arousal dripping down his face. 

he lifts himself up to kiss you, feeding you your own cum, his hand comes up to grip your neck as you engage in a desperate kiss.

when he lets go of you to rid himself of his pants, your hand comes up to touch the wetness left on your cheek— it hits you that jake came all over his own hand while eating you out.

there was no way you were letting him out of your sight tonight.

───────────────────

sunghoon was giddy when he found out he could bring a plus one to the prada after party. he literally couldn’t wipe the grin off his face when he told you that you could accompany him.

but now he almost regrets it. 

since you were his plus one, you had gotten a free outfit from the brand. and god was it the best thing he’s ever seen you wear. but also the worst.

this wasn’t his only issue. you were his plus one. so why the fuck were you pretty much attached to jungwon at the hip? why were you ignoring him when he’s the reason you were there?

it’s not like he was angry either, instead he just really really wanted you right there next to him. he was so fucking horny. 

even before you both left the house to head over. he had no idea what the outfit looked like until you put it on and his eyes almost popped out of his head.

sunghoons also not really the type to voice his every thought to you, otherwise you both would’ve skipped the party entirely just to fuck.

well, he wasn't angry. but he can’t help it when the horniness eventually turns into pure sexual frustration. he leans further into the couch as he watches you bounce back and forth from jungwon and heeseung. 

your lonely boyfriend couldn’t even tell if he was jealous, angry or hurt. above all, he just wanted you to sit on his cock for the rest of the night. he understood that you were having fun, some of your other friends in the industry were also invited to this party but he couldn’t help but to feel so left out.

he almost groans as he watches you make your way to yet another one of his members. what about him? he’s here too! his cock twitches beneath his dress pants and he sets his hand with his drink on top of it, hoping it’s not obvious that he’s suffering at this very moment.

“you okay, man?” a voice calls from behind the couch, sunghoon looks up to see jake hovering. “you haven’t moved from that spot in about 40 minutes.”

sunghoon nods and shrugs, “can you tell my girlfriend to meet me over here? i haven’t seen her all night.” he lies through his teeth, he’s literally been watching you all night.

jake tilts his head in confusion, “uh, yeah. i’ll go get her, be right back.”

he taps his finger on his cup as he watches jake whisper in your ear, pointing behind him in his direction. you glance behind jake and sunghoon quickly averts his gaze.

you nod and respond to jake before making your way over to your boyfriend. 

sunghoon quickly downs his drink as he sees you walk towards him, a soft smile on your lips. so now you’re finally paying attention to him?

“what’s wrong, hoonie? jake said you needed me.” 

he nods, setting his drink down and grabbing your wrist instead, “yeah. i do need you, right fucking now.”

you don’t get a chance to question his words before he’s yanking you towards the furthest bathroom in the building. you’re heels almost make it too hard to keep up with him and you’re calling out his name but he’s too occupied on finding any empty bathroom to fuck you in.

sunghoon finally finds one, tugging you into it and slamming the door behind you and clicking the lock.

“what’s wrong, baby?” you ask him again.

“why are you talking to every single one of my members but not me?” 

you blink at him, surely you’ve interacted with him throughout the night. a smile grows on your face when it clicks. “awwe, hoonie! are you jealous?”

sunghoon grips your chin with his hand, “i’m not jealous. you ignored me, there’s a difference.”

“i wasn’t! and i’m here now, right?” 

he rolls his eyes, smushing his body against yours and the door. “baby seriously. need you so bad right now, i had to watch you talk to everyone while i was sitting there so fucking hard.”

your eyes widen slightly, “why didn’t you tell me?”

“god this fucking dress— i’m going insane.” he ignores your question completely, pulling the bottom of your dress up your thighs.

“sunghoon! we can’t- not here!” 

“mm, i don’t care.” sunghoon mutters as he pulls your dress above your hips. “told you i needed you, huh?”

he grips your hips and moves you against the fancy bathroom vanity, turning you around and laying you flat against the counter.

sunghoon ruts his clothed hardon over your own panty clad cunt. “feel it? feel how hard you make me all because a stupid dress?”

“y-yeah, hoonie.”

he sucks in a breath of air and yanks down your flimsy thong before practically ripping the button off his overpriced pants to free his angry cock.

you glance at him in the mirror when he aligns his leaking tip with your wet entrance. no amount of slick and arousal could make taking his size any easier.

��wait- baby i can’t take you like that..!” you pleaded with him.

sunghoon doesn't listen, stuffing you with his length, ripping a gasp from you, forcing you to throw a hand over your mouth to contain any more noises from you.

he wastes no time before beginning to pound into you, your hips slamming against the edge of the vanity with each thrust. you feel every vein against your walls and soon the initial pain turns into pleasure.

your boyfriend’s sloppy and brutal pace tells you just how fucking needy he’s been for the past few hours. sunghoons letting out a string of curses as he continues to abuse your cunt to chase the orgasm he’s been craving for so long.

“god. fuck- so fucking tight.” he groans out. “n-need it so bad.”

you’re biting your own hand to contain the noises that are desperately escaping your mouth, his pace making it impossible for you to stay silent. sunghoons bending over as he continues to fuck into you, gripping your throat as he leaves harsh bites on your shoulder— marks that’d be impossible to cover due to the thin and flimsy straps on your dress.

“shit—“ his movements stutter before hitting his peak, his warm cum filling up your insides but he doesn’t dare stop.

he continues to desperately thrust into you, overstimulating himself because he’s still so stupidly hard. grunts and whimpers are leaving his mouth, muffled by your neck and hair— but his noises only bring you closer to your own peak.

“hoon..! c-cumming, please.” 

even after you cream around his cock, his movements don’t stop. his thrusts are sloppy and his cock is knocking against your cervix, fucking you hard and deep all because he needs to cum again.

sunghoon lets out a loud groan as he finds himself emptying himself once more inside of you. rocking his hips slowly to ride himself through his second intense orgasm, it was almost painful.

he slips out of you with a grunt, his cock still half hard but he decided right there that the both of you would be leaving the party early.

[aimedis]

IDIOTS - D.A.M.N CREW

i wrote this a while back (months ago lol) but i'm just now getting around to editing and posting it since i've been semi-active on tumblr these days

cw - lighthearted argument between damien and lasko, fake hostility, gavin being whipped for freelancer

wc - 1.1k

Lasko huffs, “Stop making fun of me, asshole.”

“It's not my fault. For a teacher, you're stupid." Damien clicks his tongue.

“W-well you’re just being absurd!”

“I’m being absurd? I’m being absurd?!”

“Yes, you are!”

Huxley groans into a throw pillow, collapsing back against the couch, “Where is Rainshower when you need them?”

“Off doing their teacher duties. They're helping Freelancer with water control or.. something back at D.A.M.N.” Gavin hums, not even paying attention to them both as he goes through his phone absentmindedly. He was mostly thinking about when the Freelancer was coming back and waiting until he could feel their familiar aura again.

They had both left before the boys arrived at the apartment. It was supposed to be their lazy Saturday morning before their hangout and Gavin was seconds from falling back asleep on their chest before they’d gotten a phone call from Dear.

The conversation was quiet and mundane enough for Gavin to ignore it and let his breathing even out until his Freelancer sat up at the end of it.

Of course, Gavin protested, as much as he could while being half-asleep at least— but they’d still gotten away from him.

“I gotta get up, Gav.” They’d hummed quietly as they ruffled his hair

“Nuh uhh.. ‘re not goin’ anywhere.” Gavin’s sleep-addled voice called out, clinging tightly onto their shirt with his eyes still closed.

"Yuh huh, Lasko's partner is helping me out with my water magic."

They’d slipped out from under him pretty easily and Gavin rolled over to glare at them. When they kissed him softly with a little smile playing on their lips, he’d kissed them back out of instinct (and when did he not want to kiss his love?) and then they slipped out of bed—away from his arms

Gavin had whined and pouted and used his very effective persuasion skills but apparently, last-minute practice before an exam was more important than his happiness.

"I love you, I'll be back in a little bit."

Gavin huffs and opens his eyes then, his hair pretty much blocking his entire view of them.

Freelancer laughs and kisses his forehead, "Relax, clingy, it's only like two hours. You don't want me to fail do you?"

"Do it tomorrow.." Gavin whines, reaching out to hold onto them so they couldn't leave but they escaped him again, blowing him a kiss and telling him to go back to sleep. Which he did, begrudgingly.

And now he's here trying his best not to sulk, wallowing in the feeling of half-hollowness that always came with being apart from his Deviant. He should be put off by that feeling, the feeling of missing a part of himself when they’re not near should scare or annoy him. But he can’t find it in himself to care much when his person is still gone.

“Lasko, you fatherless freak, would you just listen to me?!”

“Me?! Damien you hypocritical piece of shit-”

Gavin is startled out of his thoughts by the laugh that leaves his body, his hand coming up to cover his mouth. Huxley groans even louder then, his hand covering his face “Why is this happening to me..”

“That was so uncalled for,” Gavin says still laughing but about to try and futilely console Huxley when his phone chimes with a notification.

freelancer ❤️ hey gav we're like five minutes away, we got snacks

He perks up, not bothering to be embarrassed about the wide smile spreading across his face.

me hurry back i miss you

freelancer ❤️ just be patient you baby

“Okay!” Damien groans and looks over at Gavin and Huxley on the couch in exasperation, “I think we need a second opinion-“

Lasko huffs, “I think you need a sedative-"

Damien looked as if he was about to slap him, “Shut up! Guys, tell Lasko that-“ Damien cuts himself off when he glances at Gavin smiling like an idiot at his phone, “What on Earth are you smiling about over there?”

At those words, Gavin looked up and his face returned to normal but it was already too late—Huxley and Lasko had also seen the lovesick grin on his face while he was looking at his phone.

He was done for.

Huxley’s signature smile was back on his face when it clicked in his brain, “Aww, were you texting Freelancer? You look so happy!”

Lasko holds his breath to keep from laughing at Gavin’s reddening face but it only made him laugh harder.

“It’s sickening is what it is.” Damien snorts leaning against the couch, crossing his arms, “Did they send you a sappy message about how much they miss you and wanna kiss your stupid face?”

“Did you respond with a ‘I miss you baby’?” Huxley laughs and his voice goes up an octave at the last phrase

“Did you add a bunch of sickly sweet emojis at the end?” Lasko chimes in between his laughter

“Did you add a bunch of sickly sweet nicknames too?”

“Shut up,” Gavin groans lightheartedly, sitting up as he scratches the back of his neck, “You guys are annoying. And hypocrites. Did you forget I'm a demon?” He smiles sweetly.

That gets Damien and Lasko to shut up, suddenly averting the other two's gazes

At that moment, Freelancer is heard opening the front door and calling out.

“We're back!”

“Thank god,” Lasko whispers in a completely different tone than Gavin does.

By the time any of them look back up, Gavin was gone to the doorway as well.

“Whipped,” Huxley snorts.

“Says you,” Lasko chimes in softly, looking back at his phone.

Damien huffs, “Says you. Didn’t you cry for three hours after you and-“

Lasko shoots a gust of wind at a sheet of paper on the coffee table to fly into Damien’s face. He responds by setting the sheet on fire, raising an eyebrow at the air-elemental.

“Shut your mouth, Damien, I’ll suffocate you,” Lasko glares.

Damien rolls his eyes and gets up to sit next to Huxley again, “Yeah, as if, air elemental who's scared of heights.”

“Says the guy who's half French and can’t even speak the language.”

Damien looks as if he would get up again to start another less verbal fight but Dear is now standing in the doorway, clearing their throat.

They raise an eyebrow, "What are you two fighting about this time?"

And the two of them immediately jump back into yelling over each other, ranting about some stupid move Damien loved and Lasko thought was absolute ass.

Huxley shakes his head and wraps an arm around his boyfriend with a smile, keeping Damien trapped at his side while Dear tries to mediate like an exhausted parent.

Outside in the doorway of the apartment, Gavin has his arms wrapped around Freelancer's waist, theirs around his neck. He sighs happily, feeling tension bleed from his body at finally having his lover back in his arms. Safe and happy.

━━━━━━━━━━━━

blah blah blah two twinks fighting huxley sigh freelancer this freelancer that deviant mom friend dear whipped gavin french damien mention and post

[faeriichaii]

hiii i have a request only if you're up for it! a legolas x reader and reader teases legolas and his sensitive ears during an important event and he takes it out on you (spicy? smut if you're up for it :)

love your fics sm <333

Keep Quiet ~ Legolas x F!Elf!Reader

A/N: OMG!! I kinda have been waiting for a smut request haha!! It's just I rarely write any smut so it is always nice to see someone request it cause this also makes me uhh idk get used to writing it?? But yeah I finally finished the request and I really hope you like it <33 I also might edit it later cause rn it is very late and I am very tired but I still wanna publish smth so... ⇢ ˗ˏˋ Warnings: Smut (MDNI), Unprotected sex, Fingering, bj, ass slapping ࿐ྂ ⇢ ˗ˏˋ Words: 2.0 k ࿐ྂ ⇢ ˗ˏˋ Request: Yes (thank you <33) ࿐ྂ ⇢ ˗ˏˋ Meleth Nin ~ My Love ࿐ྂ

Summary: You seem to have teased your husband Legolas a little too long during one important meeting, so he teaches you a lesson.

Bored. You felt utterly bored, as you listened in on Lord Elronds conversation with Legolas father about some trading contract each of them approved. Being Legolas wife has it perks but you definitely despise the lengthy business meetings you have to attend. And your attendance is required regularly. As Thranduil once said, you are not just part of their family now, but also have to shoulder the burden of being the queen at some time in your lengthy life. Back then you smiled at the elven king and nodded. You didn’t expect to become queen anytime soon either. But neither did you expect him to get Legolas to drag you to every official meeting in Mirkwood. “It is good for you to learn all about our relationships with the several leaders of the various different lands.” Thranduil once said to you, after he caught you yawn after several hours of listening about potential war strategies.

A hand on your thigh justled you out of your memories. Legolas gave you a smile, as he leaned closer to you. “We are almost through Meleth Nin. Only an hour more and they should sign the papers.” Another hour? Sighing at his words you gave him a pained smile. Your eyes wandered from the elven king of Mirkwood towards Lord Elrond. You knew this would take even longer than that. How could you sit around and do nothing for another hour or two? “Legolas, would it be alright for your father if I could leave for a few minutes? Just to take a quick breather.” You whispered in his ear. His grip on your leg tightened and he began to shift around in his seat beside you. “Are you alright Meleth Nin?” “Of course I just-“ You raised an eyebrow at him. He definitely did not look quite alright. He looked rather… uncomfortable. “I don’t think my father would approve.”

Tilting your head to the side, you continued to study his side profile. A soft rosy colour dusted the tips of his ears, as well as his cheeks. Suddenly, realization dawned upon you. “Are you sure that is the reason behind you being so… skittish right now?” Your warm breath fanned over his pointy ear and you felt his body shiver, as you let your hand gently rest on his leg. Drawing circles on his thigh, you leaned closer towards him. “I don’t need a break anymore, so don’t worry about it my love.” The elven prince noticed the flirtatious undertone in your voice and gave you a warning glance. “(Y/N) please. You can’t do this to me right now. This is an important meeting and-“ A shuddered sigh left his lips, as your finger traced his ear with a feather light touch. “Hmm? Is everything alright darling?” You asked him sweetly, trying to scoot closer to your husband.

“Lord Elrond and your father are still discussing about the best travel route in order for the goods to arrive safely. The same topic since hours so why don’t you just lean back and let me have some fun hmm?” Legolas face turned towards you, his glare igniting a fire deep inside your core. He was mad. And you just got turned on. His hand grabbed your wrist and pulled it away from his ear. “You don’t want to continue playing this game (Y/N). Trust me.” A smirk graced your lips. “Is this a challenge Meleth Nin?”

Suddenly Legolas jumped up from his place at the table. Both of the lords turned their attention from the map at the table to the elven prince, confusion written upon both their faces. Even you were surprised. “Father, I must apologies, but I just remembered that me and my wife have another important event to attend to.” Thranduil looked his son up and down, before letting his gaze wander over you. You expected him to decline (probably due to the tension between you), but instead he approved. “Both of you shall leave, but make sure this… accident doesn’t happen a second time.” And with those parting words you were dragged out of the room by Legolas.

His grip on your wrist tightened as he sped across the hall towards your shared bedroom. “Legolas slow down I-“ “You want me to slow down? I bet you won’t say that again anytime soon.” Heat kissed your cheeks at the insinuation of his words. God you just wanted to tease him a bit but you definitely did not expect this outcome. Legolas stopped walking, just to open the door, drag you inside and lock it afterwards. His back was turned towards you. Watching his shoulders rise up and down you slowly approached him. “I told you to listen, didn’t I?” “Legolas I-“ Suddenly he spun around. “You didn’t listen though, did you now?” A shiver went down your spine at his deep voice. His gaze travelled from your face all over your body which made heat pool in your lower region. “You acted very poorly and improper for the future queen you know?” You nodded your head at his words. “I apologize my prince.” “You think that is enough to satisfy me?” He said, slowly approaching you. Legolas eyed you like a predator about to devour his pray. Oh, and how you would indulge in him devouring you. You need him. You want him.

“What can I do to make up for my mistakes?” “For one, how about I fill your pretty mouth.” Legolas stood in front of you, his finger grazing along your jaw. The touch alone set you ablaze like oil touching a flame. He tilted your face up towards him. “Does that sound good to you?” You nodded your head once more in approval. “Good.” And with that his mouth was upon yours. His mouth was hot and needy upon your own, tongues dancing with each other. A moan escaped your lips at the sweet relieve of the built-up tension. Legolas hand moved from your face to the back of your head to gather your hair in his fist. Pain spread from your scalp as he yanked your head bag by your strands, his mouth immediately trailing kisses along your exposed neck. Your hands racked over his upper body, unbuttoning his shirts and letting them fall off over his shoulders. Fingers trailing over his exposed skin, you followed every line and ridge of his body, until you stopped at his waistband.

“Get on your knees.” Legolas voice had a needy edge to it, as he began to gently shove you down, his hand never letting loose of your hair. Getting comfortable on the ground, you bit your lip at the obvious tent in his pants. Instantly you grabbed for his belt, loosened it and got rid of his trousers for him. “Open up.” Your mouth did as he ordered you to and in just a mere second his cock was between your lips. Sucking on it you watched his reaction through your eyelashes. His head was thrown back as soft pants escaped him. You let your tongue glide over his veins before pulling back and letting it slide over his slit. A hiss came from Legolas parted lips. His grip around your hair tightened. Suddenly, he pushed his cock deeper into your mouth, making you gag around him. Spit spilled out of the side of your mouth, as you tried to relax your throat in order to deepthroat his cock as much as possible. Your fingers moved from his hips towards your pussy, craving your own relieve. “Don’t you dare touch yourself.” Legolas said in-between pants. He moaned as a whine left your lips and sent a vibrating sensation through his lower region.

Pulling out, he grabbed your arms and lifted you from the ground. His hands found your chin, tilted your face towards his and gave you a kiss. His tongue fought with your own while he began to strip you out of the dress you wore for the meeting. Your nipples hardened under the cold air and he wasted no time in rolling them between his fingers. Your back arched at the pleasant feeling of finally feeling his touch upon you. His mouth moved from your lips down to your left tit. Your hands twisted in his long blonde hair, playing with the braids you did earlier today. Heat radiated from both of your bodies, as he let go of your nipple with a pop and stood up to his full height once more. “Now I want you to keep your mouth shut, okay?” An approval couldn’t even pass your lips, before you found yourself upon your bed, face down and ass up. “Show me how long you can keep your dirty lips sealed.”

A pleasant shiver went down your spine, as you felt his finger glide through your lips. Gripping the bedsheet, you turned your head to the side. “Legolas I need you please.” You whispered while glancing behind you. His finger brushed over your clit, making you bite your lip in order to keep quiet. You tried to scoot towards his hand, but his other hand kept your body down by your neck. “You already failed to keep quiet but you still want to get rewarded?” He slowly entered one of his fingers into your pussy but almost immediately retracted it. A needy whine passed your lips. “So greedy.” Legolas said, before entering two of his fingers and slowly pumping them at a steady pace. Your grip on the sheets tightened, as you tried to wriggle around his fingers. You want more. You need more. But you were in luck, because just after a few pumps, you could already feel the head of his cock at your entrance. “I want to see your pussy suck in my cock exactly how they greedily took in my fingers.”

And with that he pushed inside you. Your mouth opened to let out a silent moan, as you felt the stretch of his cock inside you. His hands gripped your hips harshly, before he began to move in a steady rhythm. It was hard to keep quite while his cock filled you to the brim, but neither would you want to lose his warmth inside of you. Pants mixed with the sound of skin slapping filled the quietness of the room. A moan escaped through your parted lips and was soon replaced with a surprised yelp, as you felt the harsh sting of a slap on your ass. “Your misbehaviour can’t stay unpunished now, can it?” You nodded in agreement with him. God how you loved getting punished by him. Meeting his hips halfway through each thrust, you felt the knot inside of you tighten, as well as the twitch of your husband’s cock inside of you.

“You take it so well Meleth Nin.” A sudden harsh thrust forced another moan out of your mouth, followed by another pleasant sting on your ass cheek. His hand gently traced over the red handprint. “I have a feeling that you almost like getting punished.” He let his finger trail down to your clit and drew gentle circles over it. Heat washed over your entire body, as you felt your climax approach faster and faster. Your walls clenched more tightly around his cock while the pressure of his finger on your clit increased. “Oh my god Legolas I-“ Another slap echoed through the room, followed by a whine from your lips, as the sweet relieve of your climax washed over you. Your walls clenching around his cock was all he needed, before filling you up with his cum. His release was followed by a few sloppy thrusts, before he pulled out, got onto the bed beside you and circled his arms around you in a warm embrace. A few minutes of purse silence passed between the both of you.

“Was it too much?” Legolas suddenly asked you. “No, of course not Meleth Nin. I might even consider teasing you more often during the meetings.” You reassured him, wrapping your own arms around him and falling asleep in his arms.

[sungbeam]

nonidol!kim sunwoo x f!reader

you never thought your humble, little podcast would ever touch somebody's soul like it did one kim sunwoo's.

▷ genre, warnings. s2f2l, mutual pining/crushing, college au, fluff, minor angst, humor, comfort, swearing, i actually know very little about anything going on w their majors tbh LOL 💀, uhh sunwoo's a simp but wbk, the outline of sunwoo's abs but if u read too fast u will miss it, kissing, low-key miscommunication trope (im sorry i hate those too), rip sorry yangyang, uhm they're kinda cute i *guess* :/, if there r typos then whoops i don't like editing !!

▷ word count. 28.7k help TT

this is the fifth installment of the love in unity series! this fic can be read as a standalone, but there will be references to the main plotline and all other yns will be referred to as _!yn. ALSO, the second episode specifically has a direct reference to a scene from flight risk, but the rest of the fic won't need any other outside context!

a/n: for @justalildumpling and her chopsticks <3 i dragged myself out of writer's block, pls reblog :'))

EPISODE ONE (PILOT): RHAPSODY… LIKE THE BOHEMIAN ONE?

THERE was something about general education requirement courses that felt too much like a university scam. Why was it required to learn more about things that wouldn’t help one’s chosen career path in the long run? Sunwoo hadn't necessarily been thrilled when he wasn't able to get one of the lower level English classes to fill his requirement, but the 300-level literature class had so far turned out to be… actually interesting. Well, the literature itself was interesting enough. The professor?... Not so much.

There was one thing about this class that he could safely say kept him sane though. And it was more so a person than a thing.

The discussion classroom wasn't terribly full as he strolled through the door with his hoodie thrown over his dark brown curls and headphones, a pretty voice flowing through the ear pieces as he took his usual seat to the side of the room.

"...and we're back! Hope you all enjoyed this week's song recommendation. It's been a favorite of mine ever since my dad introduced it to me when I was a kid. An absolute road trip banger—"

Sunwoo's eyes flickered up to see that the TA for the discussion wasn't yet here, but he lowered the volume on his headset slightly in case.

"—kudos to all the songwriters out there. Writing relevant stuff that transcends time is hard, man. I can't even make meaningful conversation with my graduate student supervisor."

A small smile curled the corners of his lips upward. Just as he anticipated the segment on the host geeking out about her favorite oldies music picks, he heard instead—

"I can't even make meaningful conversation with my other grad student supervisors, you know?"

Wait a minute. Confusion flickered across Sunwoo's face as he checked and lifted one of his headphone ears. That can't be right…

Somebody sat down in the seat beside him, almost startling him because he had his back to the door. It was you, the pretty second-year who he had met on the first day of this discussion a few weeks ago. But he was peering at you now in a whole new light as a smile lingered on your face from your conversation with the class’s TA.

When you felt his eyes on you, you flashed him a bright grin. “Hey, Sunwoo.”

He cleared his throat, fumbling to turn his headphones off and follow your lead in taking out the materials needed for today’s discussion. “Oh, hey, Yn.” It occurred to him just how creepy he was probably being just then…just watching you. But the thoughts in his brain were flying around like mosquitoes around his head—had he been hearing things?

“What’d you think of the reading?” You asked him pleasantly.

The reading from the past week had been the first third of a novel called The Stranger, a version translated from its original written in French. Sunwoo sucked in a breath, grimacing, “It’s not my favorite,” he drawled. “I have no idea what the point of his character is, to be honest.”

You pursed your lips and nodded your head. “Yeah, he’s a little… flat,” you chuckled.

“Is this supposed to tie into the theory that professor was talking about last week?” He asked then, in an effort to actively shift his brain’s focus away from your awfully familiar voice and sayings, and to the present.

“Something about how he doesn’t fit societal standards. I think it’s existentialism and nihilism. Well, at least I think it is.”

Huh. Interesting. Sunwoo gave a little bob of his head, and this was just when the TA turned everyone’s attention to a class discussion about the novel. He definitely hadn’t thought of those terms specifically when reading, but at the same time, he did understand where you were getting that sentiment from. He just couldn’t articulate his view of literature quite as well as you could. That had made you somewhat intimidating to him in the beginning, besides your very cute smile, but he was hoping he could learn something from you nonetheless.

You weren’t even a literature major, he realized as he listened to you offer your thoughts to the group. It was cool, though—you were cool.

— ✶

The Songbird Station was a podcast, radio-esque show that Sunwoo had discovered over summer break, a few weeks ago. The podcast was hosted by an anonymous host who dubbed herself “DJ Dove.” She definitely didn’t mind talking about a few of her personal life experiences; it was easy to simply bar the names and identities. Sunwoo had binged all two seasons so far of the podcast, happily tuning in as a silent listener and admirer of hers for awhile, and he had always wondered where she went to school or who she was, but it hadn’t invaded his thoughts like this before.

Sunwoo laid in his bed the day after the literature discussion, his hands resting on his stomach and his expression turned up toward the violet-red LED-lit ceiling of his room. His phone sat on the edge of his nightstand as it played a playlist of songs that Dove had recommended to her listeners—or well, he wondered if he could safely assume that what he heard yesterday was correct, and that you were DJ Dove.

It would make sense, he thought. You were a sound and music production major, had great taste in music (from the brief conversations you struck up with him while in class), and you literally said the exact same thing that Dove had said over the podcast. It couldn’t have just been a coincidence. And now that he thought about it, your voice really did sound a lot like DJ Dove’s. There was a sort of friendly warmth to both of your voices, and—and—

Knock, knock— “Aye, Sunwoo! I'm going to Juyeon's place now. Are you sure you don't wanna come with?"

Oh, right. He had nearly forgotten that Eric had planned to head over to their new mutual friend's apartment tonight to watch a sports game. Juyeon was a friend of a friend of a friend—the connections ran long in their friend circle, he supposed. Sunwoo stole a peak at his phone screen for the time and his joints ached at the sight of 8:53 on the face. His face screwed up as he replied to his friend and roommate, “Nah, I think I'm still just gonna chill here tonight.”

He grabbed his phone fully off the nightstand this time and turned onto his side.

“Oh, okay. Don't burn the apartment down and don't steal my ramen!”

Sunwoo squished his face down into his pillow, raising his voice slightly since his words would probably be muffled, "I'm not going to steal your ramen!" This guy.

He heard Eric grumble something under his breath from the other side of the door, followed by the sound of footsteps moving farther away from his room. When he heard the front door close, he let out a breath and turned back to his phone. To his surprise, he had managed to absentmindedly navigate away from the playlist screen and to the Songbird Station homepage, filled with a collection of all of your links. One of these links was for listeners to submit song recommendations or ask questions, and most of the time, they were all anonymous with their own little nicknames.

He had never fully considered doing it… but that didn’t mean he hadn’t ever partially thought about it. He definitely imagined becoming one of Dove’s more frequent anonymous submitters and becoming friends with her—on a level that one could consider oneself friends between two anonymous users, at least.

But up until now, he hadn’t thought that he could do it. Well, because Dove was Dove; he was one of hundreds of listeners.

“But she’s Yn,” he thought aloud to himself, turning back onto his back to speak to the ceiling, as if the layer of plaster above his head could possibly give him a viable answer. “There’s probably a reason she doesn’t use her actual name,” he pondered further, expression contorted into deep contemplation. “This feels wrong!” He groaned.

There was at least one person he could count on to deal with his bullshit.

sunwoo’s phone: yes or no

tree rat: no

“Well, screw you, too,” Sunwoo huffed as he swiped out of his and Changmin’s text chain. Out of all the times Changmin said “no” randomly, it had to be this time.

It didn’t matter much anyway though. Sunwoo went back to the links page and clicked on the anonymous submissions. He was met with a customized greeting page from the hostess herself, as she thanked her listeners and asked what they’d like to contribute to the show.

Sunwoo moved to sit up against his headboard as he racked his brain for something to say. He had tons to say, but the first message had to be perfect, right?

“It’s fine,” he said out loud, thumbs flying over the keyboard to type out the first thing that came to mind. After all, it was completely anonymous, so it wasn’t like she would—or you would—even know it was him.

He probably read over his little paragraph about a hundred times before attempting to figure out an anonymous name to sign off with. He hugged his knee to his chest when he couldn’t come up with something cool, charming, or unique. Maybe he would stay completely unknown for now. Maybe he wouldn’t even have the courage to submit another message after this one anyway!—

"Rhapsody," he said aloud. Rhapsody was a cool word. Rhapsody anon? Was that who he would sign as?

He did the most logical course of action: look up the word. He asked the internet for its most basic definition, then somehow ended up in the rabbit hole of etymology of the word rhapsody. It described one who stitched verses or songs together—something of the sort. It sounded cool, at least.

It would have to do… and even if you—or DJ Dove—thought it was stupid, no one would know it was him.

Before he could psych himself out of it, Sunwoo pushed the submit button and launched his phone away from him onto the bed like it was explosive. There was something thrilling about anonymous submissions, but incredibly anxiety-inducing, as well. He could only hope that you would be pleased to read it.

— ✶

It was Wednesday when the next episode of the podcast dropped, and Sunwoo was swift to don his headphones on his way out the door of the apartment. The walk to campus was a good fifteen or so minutes, which would get him about a quarter of the way through the episode, but usually the line in the campus cafe was long, so he had plenty of time to listen.

“Welcome to Songbird Station! I’m your host, DJ Dove, and today, I went to my Groupon singing lesson and realized that I think my teacher is having an affair with her neighbor…?”

Sunwoo let out a snortish laugh, covering his mouth with his hoodie sleeve in slight embarrassment as he passed by somebody else going in the opposite direction. Usually, there would be anonymous submissions sprinkled throughout the episode, most of them having to be diverted to later episodes because they were song recommendations. Sunwoo wasn’t super optimistic about his chances of being featured in this episode, but a guy could dream, couldn’t he?

The sky was a pleasant shade of crystalline blue, even as the seasons shifted from summer to fall. There was a slight breeze wafting through the air that brought in the telltale autumnal chill.

"...and luckily the rest was history. My voice was completely dead and my throat is still a little sore, haha, so we'll do a couple more anonymous submissions and recommendations today! This is supposedly a radio show-esque podcast, after all. This one's from a new friend—Rhapsody Anon!"

Sunwoo nearly tripped over the flat sidewalk and sent a nervous smile to the other person waiting at the stoplight with him. Did you just say what he thought you said?

There came a soft laugh from you. "Ooh, like Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen? Such a classic, by the way. Rhapsody says: Hi Dove! Hoping you're doing alright and that songwriting is going well. I'm a relatively new listener but a fan from first listen—awh, wait… that's kind of like love at first sight but for the voice version, isn't it?"

He reddened. The crosswalk turned green.

"Anyways, that's really sweet; thanks so much—there's a bit more of the message that I'll post on my story later so we can save time, but Rhapsody, thank you for tuning in and interacting with me. Your message sounded so heartfelt to me? I dunno," you chuckled and he swore he could hear the smile in your voice, "maybe I'm a little biased 'cause I love your song rec, too. Speaking of which, Rhapsody recommends Painkiller by Ruel! An immaculate choice, if I do say so myself…"

Sunwoo couldn't help but smile to himself at your warm reception of his anonymous submission. He wished he could have gotten your full reaction to his entire message, but he understood that you needed to account for all the other things you had planned.

Even so, an acknowledgement from you would have been enough. He hadn't thought it was possible, but he thought he just became even more attached to this DJ Dove persona.

EPISODE TWO: I HATE VALENTINE'S DAY.

three months later.

THE curtains in Sunwoo's room were yanked open, the sound of metal rings against the metal bar scratched at his eardrums and made him grimace. It definitely did not help the pounding in his cranium, and—wait, was he in jeans? There was a disgusting after taste in his mouth, something akin to alcohol, and when he lifted his hand to rub his eyes, he felt dried tear tracks on his skin.

Eric stood at the foot of his bed with a scowl and his arms crossed over his chest. "I'm mad at you."

Sunwoo smooshed his face into his pillow in a sorry attempt to hide his eyes from the blinding overcast sky outside. "What's new?" He babbled incoherently.

It seemed his friend and roommate was not pleased with his answer and moved to tower over Sunwoo right beside him. "You couldn't have waited ten minutes before barging in? I was so close to kissing her!"

"Huh? What the hell are you…" Sunwoo's voice trailed off as the events of last night were slowly coming back to him.

Yesterday was Valentine's Day. Ugh. He remembered making plans to go to some singles party with Changmin and Chanhee, and that Eric was bringing EC!Yn over to woo her or something… yeah, he got all that. So why did Sunwoo drink so much and why couldn't he…

The notification… the tweet…

Oh no.

The emotions from last night came rushing back to him like the tide to shore. Horror contorted his face as his brain raced to string pieces of last night together. He released a groan as he brought both hands up to his face. "Oh my god," he muttered into his palms.

The distinct feeling of devastation and disappointment sank into his gut. No wonder he had thrown all caution to the wind last night and gotten himself drunk off his face.

"How bad?" He asked.

Eric still had his arms crossed. "You cried on EC!Yn like a whale and asked why women were perfect and why you couldn't have this one girl." By the drone of Eric's voice, he hadn't been pleased or amused by last night's events. Whoops.

"I'm—"

"You are going to be forever alone, by the way."

Sunwoo dropped his hands from his face and leveled a scowl up at Eric. Now, that he remembered saying, too. Unfortunately. "Hey! I'm still tender from last night."

Eric's smile was sarcastic and he said nothing as he made his exit from Sunwoo's room and left the hungover man to fend for himself. Left to his own devices, Sunwoo pushed out a harsh exhale as he stared up at the ceiling.

He remembered receiving the notification from the Songbird Station Twitter account and excusing himself to go to the bathroom to hear your voice memo. And when he'd finally found an empty bathroom and played it back, he learned a devastating piece of information.

Guys, I went on a date… updates in the next episode. That was what you had said, essentially—you, Yn Ln, the girl Sunwoo had met in his literature course last quarter and whom he had figured out was the anonymous host of the podcast Songbird Station under the pseudonym DJ Dove.

And he had gotten drunk over the fact that you'd gone out on a date, and said date hadn't been him.

"Dude," he said out loud to himself.

He couldn't believe he had gotten so off his rocker by this news. It wasn't like he knew you or liked you or—well, maybe he had grown an affection for you over the span of time he listened to your podcast and interacted with you via his own pseudonym, Rhapsody Anonymous.

But he was just another fan to you, and you would never know his identity.

A guy could dream though, right?

A thought suddenly occurred to him as he rolled over to go through the copious amounts of notifications on his phone he had. There were lots of messages in his group chat with Chanhee and Changmin that he would deal with later, lots of social media notifications, emails, and…

Wednesday. Today was Wednesday.

Sunwoo cursed. You were definitely uploading the episode today then.

He bit his lip as he sorted through the notifications to find one about the podcast. Sure enough, there it was: I Went On A Date? was the title, and he pretended like that didn't make him want to play Lany's Valentine's Day on loop—

The bedroom door opened and Eric poked his head into the room. "I made hangover soup."

Sunwoo blinked in surprise. "Oh. Thanks, man."

"Yeah, don't mention it," Eric mumbled, shifting on his feet. "Seriously, don't mention it."

— ✶

For the next couple of days, Sunwoo left the notification at the top of his phone, pretending like it wasn’t there. It had worked for about five minutes, but the remainder of time he was stubborn, he allowed his imagination to get the better of him. Although he no longer needed to take a literature course, he found himself deeply considering the vague title you had provided. Well, what could you mean by that question mark at the end? Had it not gone well? There was no way it could have, since your tone didn’t really scream “OH MY GOD I WENT ON A DATE!!!” (not that Sunwoo had imagined what he would have acted like post-date with someone like you or anything…). He didn’t even know who you had gone on a date with, and that made his stomach churn.

The curiosity devoured him alive over the two days he managed to torture himself with his overthinking. No one knew he listened to the Songbird Station podcast, and he planned to keep it that way. It would be the absolute death of him if any of his friends found out.

By Saturday morning, Sunwoo had had enough of his own stubbornness and caved. He donned his headphones, grabbed his bag, and headed out the door to do some work in a cafe located on the Ave. There was one that his friend Jacob had recommended to the group awhile back, and Sunwoo hadn’t looked back since.

As he tuned into the episode, he shoved his hands into the pockets of his hoodie, shivering against the cold, winter winds. February weather was a doozy, and a hot cup of coffee or hot chocolate sounded so very sexy right this moment.

“Welcome to Songbird Station! I’m your host, DJ Dove, and you’re probably wondering what the title of this episode even means, or why I sent that weird, cryptic voice message the other night.”

The traffic light turned green, and Sunwoo began to cross the road, the coffee shop in sight. His hands were beginning to get clammy in his pockets.

“Don’t riot, but friends, it means exactly what it says—” As you exhaled out a breathy kind of laugh, Sunwoo inhaled sharply.

“Helpful,” he muttered under his breath as he pushed into the warmth of the coffee shop. He shook the cold out of his body before hopping into the line to order.

“ —I did actually land myself a date yesterday. Honestly, I’m not really much of a dater; I never really had time with it over the past years because I would, uh… well, I would rather stay in and do music, y’know?”

The corners of Sunwoo’s lips curled up into a smile. Maybe he had been nervous before about this episode’s topic of choice, but he should have had more faith in you. Rather than speak about the date the entire episode, you always managed to worm in a discussion about your passions, and that was the kind of talk that had first gotten Sunwoo hooked. There was something so attractive about hearing or witnessing a person gush about their passions and ambitions—the way their eyes lit up, their posture righted itself, how they smiled so big that one could hear it in their tone of voice.

He was happy that you went out on a date, because you deserved to meet someone who treated you as special as you were. You were a good person, and it wasn’t fair that he was being so salty about it, especially when he was too chicken to—

“Sunwoo?”

His soul practically fell out of his body. “Shit—” He swore, yanking his headphones down with eyes as wide as the earphones. He whirled around to greet you with a flushed face, red like the old Christmas decorations still hanging up from the crown moldings.

You were standing right behind him with a mildly amused look on your face, your lips pressed into a smile and eyes crinkled in absolute delight. You were similarly bundled up like he was to no doubt shield you from the cold on your way here. “Sorry I scared you! I probably should have, like, tapped your shoulder or something, huh?”

Sunwoo let out a nervous laugh and cupped the back of his neck, the skin there warm to the touch. “Oh, uh, no problem at all. I just kinda…”

“Get scared easy?” You offered.

He huffed with a sheepish sort of smile. “No, no that’s not it. I—I just wasn’t expecting you, that’s all.” Inwardly, he winced. The fact that he was listening to your voice in his ears, and you just happened to say his name at the same time and appear in the same exact coffee shop as him. Weren’t there fifteen of these places on the block? There was no way you just happened to choose this one at this moment.

You chuckled, playing along. “Ah, I see, I see. We haven’t seen each other since fall quarter though. How have you been?”

You and Sunwoo inched up with the line, so the two of you now stood side by side. Sunwoo was trying everything he could to calm the racing of his heart. Play it cool, dude. “I’ve been okay…ish,” he grimaced, re-thinking his answer. “You know winter quarter is always the worst.”

“For sure,” you replied. “It’s so cold and dreary—nobody wants to leave their apartments, especially me,” you joked.

Sunwoo was about to chime in on how he could totally relate to that, when you popped the question: “And then there’s Valentine’s Day. Crazy how it never seems to rain on Valentine’s Day, though, so people can go out. Did you do anything for it?”

Sirens commenced their screeching in his head. WEE-WOO-WEE-WOO! Don’t let her know how much of a loser you were! He coughed, reaching up to scratch his head. “Uh, nothing special in particular, if that’s what you mean. A couple of my friends and I just went to this singles party.” Would that give you the wrong idea? Probably not, right? Why was he so bad at this, he thought, wasn’t he supposed to be a communications major?

You inched up in line. “Oh, that’s cool. I think I went to one in freshman year at my old uni,” you said.

Before he could stop himself, he said, “I almost forgot you transferred this year.” He knew that one from the podcast when you talked about the struggles of being a transfer student and having to almost “redo” your entire first year experience, social-wise. But you had also told him that when you and he had worked together in your shared class last quarter; it was just that the two of you didn’t really talk much about your old university much after that.

“It’s okay,” you smiled, nudging his arm with yours as a gesture for him to order first. “Not many people remember.”

Sunwoo wanted to protest, maybe to reassure you that it wasn’t that easy to forget something like that, but he was forced to switch gears and order his hot beverage first before he could say anything else to you. After he said goodbye to five more dollars, he stepped aside and made his way over to the pick-up counter to wait for you and his drink.

When you were done, you sidled up beside him, hands tucked into the folds of your coat.

Come on, say something, his inner voice chided. “So, uh, how was your Valentine’s Day?”

He immediately regretted it. Out of everything he could have asked, he had to go with the one topic he really didn’t want to hear about. However, it had been one of the logical progressions of the conversation, and who knew? Perhaps it wouldn’t lead to him feeling like he’d been shot down with lightning? (Was he being a little dramatic? Yes. Did it matter? Not when no one was going to hear him, no.)

You let out a small laugh and tucked a strand of hair behind your ear. “It was okay,” you replied.

It was… it was okay? What was he supposed to do with that answer—

“I mean,” you continued with a smile that looked more like a grimace, “it was—fine! It was fine. Uhm…”

Sunwoo’s thoughts came to a slow, teetering stop. Worry began seeping into the cracks of his brain as new scenarios formed. “Hey, if you’re uncomfortable talking about it, then we don’t have to talk about it.” All of the nerves and envy from before was becoming something softer in concern for your response.

“No! No, it’s okay. I promise,” you reassured him. The look you gave him was earnest, and he felt the fist tucked into his pocket gradually relax a bit. “It’s just weird putting it into words, y’know? I kind of chickened out of talking to my friends about it, and even to—” You stopped yourself short, and he could see you backpedaling in your brain. “Anyways, it just felt weird? I think it would have been a really nice night if I actually saw him in that light. But at the same time, I kind of want to try and give it a chance. Does that make sense?”

He nodded, tension falling out of his shoulders. “It does. I mean, sometimes there’s just no spark, y’know?” He added. “I was just worried he did something to make you uncomfortable or something.”

“Oh, no, nothing like that. You don’t have to worry.”

“Okay, that’s good,” he murmured, licking his lips. “I’m just curious—” he piped up, “—and you don’t have to tell me, but who did you go out with?”

One of the baristas from behind the counter called your names, and the two of you both stepped forward. Sunwoo took a long stride to get there before you, and handed you your cup for you.

You murmured a “thanks” to him first before stirring in a packet of sugar. “Liu Yangyang. Do you know him?”

Did he? Yangyang was one of the people Sunwoo recognized from not only around campus, but as a person who made music online, too. Even if Yangyang was in the same year as him, Sunwoo always admired the man’s flow and way with words. It made so much sense that Yangyang would pursue you, someone equally talented and charismatic, especially if the two of you were the same major.

A tightening sensation creeped into Sunwoo’s chest as he marinated on the revelation further. If you couldn’t see someone like Yangyang in a romantic light, then where did that put himself?

As Sunwoo let his intrusive thoughts get the best of him, you finished preparing your coffee.

“I’ve gotta run now,” you told him with a soft-cornered grin. “It was nice seeing you, Sunwoo.”

Sunwoo managed a smile back at you, head bobbing in some semblance of a nod, before you were exiting the shop. He stood there for a moment to gather his wits, his thoughts, and his dignity.

“Did that really just happen?” He muttered to himself. He took his coffee with him to find an empty table and retrieved his study materials from his bag. Technically, he didn’t even have to listen to the rest of the podcast, but… who was he kidding?

EPISODE THREE: HEART TO HEART

“YOU’RE coming with me to the practice rooms, right?” Ji Changmin trailed behind Sunwoo as the two of them shouldered into Sunwoo and Eric's shared apartment with their bags and leftovers from today's lunch. It had been about a week and a half since he had bumped into you at that café and he had been feeling over the interaction since.

Sunwoo popped open the refrigerator while his friend perched on one of the breakfast bar stools, his duffle bag dumped at his feet. "Uh, yeah. 'Course, hyung," he said, shifting some groceries from JC!Yn around to make space for his white plastic container.

A thought occurred to him, and he groaned. "But you're gonna have to go first—without me," he clarified. He grabbed the carton of orange juice out to pour himself a glass, facing his friend's curious look.

Changmin's brows furrowed. "Wait, why not?"

It was a reasonable question, as it went against Sunwoo's normal pattern of behavior. Usually, Sunwoo would tag along with Changmin to the practice rooms at the back of the performing arts building. Changmin was a dance major, and with the highly anticipated winter dance showcase just around the corner, it was important that he got that practice in. Plus, with Eric out of town for an away game, Sunwoo was left alone in the apartment, which wasn't exactly his favorite thing. He would much rather go out and be around other people… unless there was something else occupying him.

Today, that certain occupation came in the form of your first live podcast session, something you were trying out. It was just going to be a live audio stream, so you could stay anonymous with your pseudonym, and answer people's submissions live. You had been advertising it for the past week, having excluded the weekly podcast in order to prepare for today.

Sunwoo was excited as you were and wanted to support you and be one of the people tuning in live. This was important to him, and he had even gone so far as to plan out his day.

"I just have something I need to turn in before the day ends," he said easily, shoulders lifting in a half-hearted shrug. He lifted the glass of orange juice to his mouth for a languid gulp.

Changmin made a teasing noise of disappointment. "Aye, you know if Chanhee were here he'd be on your ass, right?" He chuckled, the dimple of his smile pressing into his cheek.

Sunwoo pouted when he lowered the glass. "If Chanhee or JC!Yn were here, I wouldn't have admitted to procrastination. I have self-preservation skills."

"And you don't think I'd be on your ass?" Changmin gasped dramatically with a hand pressed to his chest.

With tongue in cheek, Sunwoo grinned amusedly. He shook his head, adjusting the hood pulled over him. "Hyung, you can't ding me for procrastination when you procrastinate religiously. Remember that one time you had to beg Professor Ka—"

"Yah! Nobody asked for specifics!"

Sunwoo's chuckle turned into nervous laughter as Changmin reached across the island with a claw-shaped hand. "Ah! No! You stay away—go practice!"

Changmin snickered. "Chicken."

Soon after, Changmin indeed took his leave to head over to the performing arts hall. Sunwoo drained the juice in his cup and refilled it before making a beeline for his bedroom.

The livestream was projected to last for an hour, about the length of a usual episode, but you did say the timing wasn't set in stone. Sunwoo set himself up at his desk, signing into the platform you always used. Over the past couple of months he was Rhapsody, he'd become one of your regulars, suggesting new and old songs from his music library, talking about his day or week or something the last podcast had reminded him of. He liked to think that the two of you were friends—parasocially.

A guy could dream, right?

He was on his phone when the waiting room faded and became a split screen: one half with a sketched sign that read "ON AIR: COMING TO YOU LIVE!" with a little dove in headphones, and the other half was a live chat feed that people who were tuned in could use. There was both a public and private feature, and Sunwoo kept his on the public chat, unafraid of what a bunch of other people behind anonymous names and screens could do to scare him.

"Oh! Woah, I think that worked," came your voice, loud and clear, through his laptop speakers.

He smiled to himself, reaching over to settle his fingers on his keyboard. A tingling feeling bubbled up inside him, starting from his toes and rocketing up through his chest. He could actually talk to you in real time today.

You clapped lightly on the other side, relief pouring through your voice. "Thank god. I'm supposed to be good with some computer programs, but this livestream feature is kind of new. How're we doing, everyone? It seems…" A couple clicks from your end, "... We've got some more people rolling in. I'll give it a couple minutes, but let me know who we've got here today! It's so cool seeing you guys live!"

Sunwoo was swift to type out a greeting message: Dovey hi!! He paired it with a little, hand-waving emoji.

The small gasp of delight from you had him giggling to himself. "Oh my god, Rhapsody! Hi, best friend, welcome in! We might actually be able to hold a conversation for once," you chuckled.

rhapsody anonymous: yeah fs haha

rhapsody anonymous: did u have a good week? it felt weird without an ep from u 🤧

"Oh! Yeah, haha, sorry about that—”

He rushed to type as you continued with answering his question: No no! Don’t worry, I don’t blame you or anything lol it’s just something I look forward to every week.

“...Ah,” you said after skimming over his message. “Understood—and aw, I’m glad it’s something you look forward to every week. That makes me really happy to hear… oh! It looks like the numbers are becoming a little stagnant, so I’m gonna get started. Hi, everyone! Welcome to the live edition of Songbird Station. I’m your host…”

— ✶

An hour later, Sunwoo ended up seated at the kitchen counter, drinking orange juice straight out of the nearly-depleted carton, while the livestream continued on. The whole experience had been one of a kind, and by the way you were able to seamlessly speak and engage with your audience for the entire time made Sunwoo feel warm and fuzzy. He was glad this was working out for you.

There was a gradual lull in conversation, however, and you were just wrapping up your last topic to bring your first livestream to an organic stop.

“...wanna thank you all for being here, of course. 57 people listening to my voice for over an hour is kind of crazy, but this was a lot of fun!...”

Sunwoo was just about to start typing up a message to you when his phone buzzed on the counter beside his laptop. He startled, fumbling with the device and grumbling under his breath until he saw who it was and picked up the call.

“Hyung?” He squeezed the phone between his ear and shoulder, attempting to finish his private message to you. I was wondering if I could…|

Changmin’s voice came out breathy and panting like he had just finished a run-through. “Hey, are you done with your assignment yet?”

I was wondering if I could hang back for…| “Huh?” Why couldn’t he multitask, for god’s sake? I was wondering if I could hang back for a minute? If it’s weird though, then it’s no problem…|

No, that wasn’t weird, right? Totally not. He pressed the 'enter' key, satisfied with the message.

“What were you saying?” Sunwoo asked and picked up the phone with his hand. His eyes flickered back to his laptop screen to find that you had sent him a private message back.

Changmin let out a grumbling sigh. “I was just thinking—”

“Uh oh,” Sunwoo joked.

He could hear his friend’s eye roll from here. “When you get here Kim Sunwoo…”

“Okay, okay, okay!” He chuckled as he read your message and silently punched the air in celebration. “What do you want? I was in the middle of something.”

“Rude! And I was calling you because I was thinking about you,” Changmin huffed. “Anyway, I was just going over some of the movement for Juyeon and my ‘Light a Flame’ duet, right? And I came up with this combo that would be perfect for three people—”

Sunwoo sucked in a breath. “Oh, nonono!”

“But!”

“No!” Sunwoo protested. “Hyung, you know that I don’t… y’know, I can’t dance up there with you and Juyeon hyung! That’s way too much pressure; you’re both so good at dance.” He pressed his finger against the edge of the counter and began mindlessly dragging it along the surface. There had originally been plans of Sunwoo joining Changmin and Juyeon’s dance partnership for this year’s winter showcase performance, but Sunwoo backed out. The winter showcase was far too large of an event for Sunwoo could even fathom participating in, let alone dancing with two of the best dancers he knew. There was just no way.

Changmin sighed from the other end. He’d heard this argument before and he’d argued against this argument plenty of times. “Okay, fine. See you in how long?”

Sunwoo placed his phone onto the counter again so he could tell you that he was still here and hadn’t just left you hanging. “Uh, give me like, thirty minutes.”

“Alright. I better see your ass here in thirty minutes, Sunwoo.”

“Yeah, I know. See ya, hyung.” He hung up then, shoulders sagging slightly from the conversation. It wasn’t like he had to participate in the winter showcase—he was no dance major, nor was he a dance minor. He technically hadn’t even decided on a minor, and had only been focusing on getting this degree finished. Whether or not he had chosen a minor yet was not his parents’ favorite discussion when they visited him, but… it would get done when he had the energy to. He didn’t want to bring up the idea of a dance minor—he saw what it did to Changmin and his parents’ relationship and—well, it was just better this way, for now.

Having finished with his phone call, Sunwoo returned his focus to you, where, god bless, you were still waiting for him in the livestream room.

rhapsody anonymous: omg i’m SO sorry!! >< a friend of mine just called and turns out i am awful at multitasking

“No worries,” you laughed. “I figured that was the case. Everything okay, Rhaps?”

The corners of his mouth curled up at the thoughtful ask. Even when the two of you had been classmates, you were new to the school, but still made him feel like the two of you had known each other for longer than simply a few weeks. It only made sense that you were the host of this podcast, the very thing that had been his source of comfort as of late.

rhapsody anon: yeah nothing really serious lol

rhapsody anon: i just have this friend who’s doing the winter showcase and i was supposed to go to the practice room with him

rhapsody anon: actually, i was going to dance and perform w him too but ig i kind of chickened out

He didn’t know why he was telling you all of this; this wasn’t even what he originally intended to talk to you about.

He heard you make a soft sound of understanding. You shifted in your seat. “I see… the winter showcase is a big event though, as I’ve heard from peers and friends. It's probably really intimidating to even perform in the pre-show, you know? Are you a dance student, by chance?”

rhapsody anon: i’m not, but i’ve taken the intro to hiphop course my freshman year and i usually dance for fun w my friend

rhapsody anon: i think i’ve just always been kind of insecure in my abilities to keep up w him?

“Is he a dance major?”

rhapsody anon: he is

Sunwoo leaned back from the laptop and took his hands off the keyboard. He settled his chin onto his folded arms as he listened to your reply.

“Well, I don’t think you should compare yourself to a dance major, right, Rhaps? I mean, it’s not fair to expect more from yourself when he’s clearly had more experience. And if you enjoy dancing, then I don’t see what the harm in trying to perform or even just being satisfied with private practice sessions is!” You paused for a second to gather your thoughts. “What I’m saying is… is that, I can understand where you might feel insecure, and that’s normal, y’know? And if you’re feeling a little unprepared for this year, there’s always future opportunities.”

Sunwoo peered up at his screen as if he could see you on the other side, speaking to him. He sat up to type out a response. Thanks for hearing me out, it’s nice to feel validated. Sorry this kind of took a downer tone haha it wasn’t my intention, I swear!

You giggled and he swore he was smiling a little too wide now. “No worries, really! I’m glad I could be of help, even if it’s to make sure that you know your feelings are valid. If I’m being honest, one of the few reasons why I even started this podcast thing was to kind of just put my experiences out there in search of validity.” You sighed, “I dunno. It’s a story for another time. I am curious, though, as to why you originally wanted to hang out with me after the others left.”

Oh, right. Sunwoo bit his lip.

rhapsody anonymous: this isn’t really a song rec, but ig it kind of is… i feel like superstar by taylor swift reminds me of u

He held his breath after he pressed the ‘enter’ key.

“Oh…” your voice was soft in surprise, and it made something like giddiness spike in his chest. “That’s really sweet, Rhaps. I… I’m not sure what to say, but thank you. Genuinely.”

rhapsody anonymous: u don’t have to say anything!! really haha ur work and ur words have touched a lot of people

“Even you?”

rhapsody anonymous: esp me

And even after you and he had said goodbye to one another and logged off; even after he was well out of the apartment and on his way to campus, that giddy feeling in his chest still hadn’t left him.

EPISODE FOUR: SHOT THROUGH THE HEART! [AND WE’RE ALL IN PAIN]

DEAD week was not typically something Sunwoo had to worry about, as fortunate as that sounded. There were, obviously, classes that made his stomach queasy and made him feel like the world was crumbling into Hot Cheeto dust, but his classes this quarter had been merciful to say the least. The week before finals week was always something that could be visibly observed on campus: students either manifesting like zombies or zooming around to claim seats in the library; grades rising and falling like the housing market; and snacks and coffee being more commonly consumed than any other moment of the quarter.

It was always a hot pile of shit, no matter the student or major.

“Someone just needs to tell Ouyang to chill!”

“Uh-huh.”

“For sure.”

“—it’s not like we’re the root of all of his problems! I’m just trying to graduate!” Eric halted in the middle of the hallway, causing Sunwoo, whose face was nose-deep in his phone screen, to ram into the baseball player’s back.

“Ow!” He hissed, furiously rubbing the place at his forehead that had collided with the nape of Eric’s neck.

“You’re not paying attention,” said Eric, flatly. He turned to Jacob, who also wasn’t paying attention. “Hyung!”

Jacob’s head lifted from where he was busy smiling down at some orange cat video. “What? Nacho’s learning the periodic table—” He flipped his phone around to show Eric, his face immediately lighting up as he forgot about why he was even mad in the first place.

The three of them were currently in the front half of the performing arts building, heading inwards from the main hall to the backstage area where a couple of their friends were already hanging out. Sunwoo had bumped into Jacob and Eric on his way from one of the campus libraries, and with nothing else better to do (than to study), he tagged along to go find someone to bother. (Jacob and Eric were both STEM majors though, which was weird to Sunwoo since… well, shouldn’t they be bunkered up somewhere trying to survive this quarter’s dead week? Anyways…)

Sunwoo sighed and brushed past his two friends to venture deeper into the building. He could already hear somebody’s music blasting from the sound booth as they rehearsed onstage. Over the past several weeks, everyone had been busy preparing for the winter showcase happening at the end of finals week, right before spring break. Ever since Sunwoo’s talk with you over livestream, he had felt a little better about not joining Changmin and Juyeon on stage this year. Plus, from what he could tell when he watched them practice, they already looked pretty much perfect with just the two of them.

Though, there would always be a part of him that wished he really had the courage to go up there and show the audience what he was made of.

Sunwoo wandered into the main auditorium with his hands tucked into his pockets and the doors closing softly behind him. There was indeed a group practicing their number on the stage at the moment. He could even make out the shapes moving from behind the curtains in the wings as other tech members and dancers rushed to and fro to get to where they needed to. Somewhere in that mass of chaos were his friends.

A familiar voice had him lifting his head toward the sound booth. His eyes widened when he recognized you standing in the booth with Bang Chan, one of the more prominent sound and lighting directors working here at the performing arts center. However, it looked like you were leaving, your hands clumsily wrestling with the zipper on your bag while you continued your conversation with Chan, and while attempting to walk backwards out of the sound booth.

Oh my god, you were going to trip on something if he didn’t help—

Both Sunwoo and Chan pounced toward you as the thought occurred to both of them at the same time.

“Yn, careful!” Sunwoo yelled, as he dove for your phone.

Chan steadied you at the bicep, and you hugged your bag to your chest with a flustered grin. “Oops?”

Chan ruffled your hair as he let you go, nodding his hello to Sunwoo, then ducking back into the booth. You stepped out into the main room and shut the door behind you. “Thanks,” you said to him sheepishly, accepting your phone from him.

The two of you naturally fell into step with one another and Sunwoo let you lead him back out towards the main entrance again. “I didn’t know you worked behind the scenes here,” he told you, cupping the back of his head. If he racked his brain, he couldn’t recall hearing about it from your podcast either. “This is the second time I’ve seen you here,” he chuckled.

You stopped for a minute in the middle of the hallway to get a hold of your things. You had to hike your knee up to properly zip your backpack before hauling it over your shoulder. “Oh, that’s right! Just a couple days ago you were here with your friends, right?”

He gave a bashful sort of grin. He had been here a couple days ago when he came to bother Changmin, and ended up hanging out backstage while Hyunjae’s best friend hosted auditions for her play. It was then that he had seen you hustling about with the Lee Jihoon about lights. He’d been caught so off-guard by seeing you; it was a miracle he managed to even get Changmin to forget about that whole interaction. “Yeah, sorry I was kind of… weird. I didn’t expect you, that's all.”

“Lots of surprise run-ins with us, huh,” you teased, the side of your arm bumping with his as you walked.

Us.

“It’s nice to see you more often though.”

You nodded. “The feeling’s mutual, Sunwoo. Thanks for warning me earlier; I’m usually more careful with my stuff, especially when I’ve got special cargo.” As you said this, you reached back to pat your backpack affectionately.

Sunwoo lifted a brow, opening the door for you as the two of you stepped out into the lobby. “Oh? What kind of special cargo?”

The smile on your face widened. “It’s, uhm, a recording mic, actually! I’ve been coming by to intern around the tech side of things here, and Chan and Jihoon give me some tips about music production, too.” You trailed off, an idea taking hold in your head, and that wide beam from just seconds ago became this shy, little thing. “Hey… would you maybe be up to listening to something of mine? I mean, it’s kind of a weird request, but your music taste from first quarter was top notch—”

“Yes,” Sunwoo said, without even waiting for you to finish your rambling.

You paused, and he rejoiced in the pure delight on your face. “Really? That’s—this is great. Wait, I’m so excited! We’ll need to find a private place to listen, but—”

“Oh my gosh, Yn?”

Coming in from the front lobby doors was none other than Han Jisung, a fellow second-year whom Sunwoo was familiar with. He was bundled in a massive, puffy cream jacket with his head shoved into a beanie, and his nose was reddened from the cold. Jisung tucked the earbuds in his ears away into their case, waddling over to you both with the joy of a baby penguin. “And Sunwoo! Woah, it’s so cool to see you, man. What’s up?”

Sunwoo clasped his hand in his. “S’cool to see you, too, dude. Yn and I were just on our way out.”

Jisung moved over to you and pulled you in for an affectionate side hug. “Oh, well, that’s nice to hear,” he snickered, wagging his eyebrows at you while you sent him a pointed look.

Wonder what that was all about…

“Anyways,” continued Jisung, “I just came by to bother Channie-hyung. Is he in the box?”

You bobbed your head in affirmation. “Yup. There isn’t anyone else with him right now, so I’m sure there’ll be plenty of space for you to bug him.”

“Nice,” he grinned. As he walked away in the direction from which you and Sunwoo came, he sent a wave. “See you both around!”

“Bye!” Both you and Sunwoo called back before resuming your walk out the front entrance.

“So how do you—” The two of you laughed when you both started talking at the same time, saying the same thing. Sunwoo gestured toward you, insisting that you ask the question first. You did: “So how do you know Jisung?”

Sunwoo snorted at the memory. “I, uh, saw him in the hall once and smacked his ass, then asked for his number.”

You had to stop to double over in laughter, clutching your stomach while Sunwoo looked on in flustered amusement. Your face had heated up considerably, and you barely managed to follow him down the steps toward the bus stop. “You what?” You asked, once you could get out anything other than wheezes.

He chuckled, shrugging. “Okay, well, I actually know him from this music summer camp we both went to in high school. I didn’t realize he came to this uni until I saw him last year and… well, made my presence known to him.”

You clapped your hands together and collapsed onto the bus bench. “I was gonna say—that’s one hell of a hello.”

“It’s a true story,” he insisted.

“Oh, I believe you.”

The two of you shared a laugh for a moment and Sunwoo took a seat beside you, his knee bouncing up and down as you waited for the bus to come by. He nudged your shoulder with his. “So what about you then? How do you know Han?”

“Hm? Ah, I just know him ‘cause we share the same major-ish. I’m sound and music production, and he’s just a general music major,” you explained. “We also share a composition class, as well as a writing course. Did you know the guy is a fantastic poet?”

Sunwoo’s eyebrows arched upward. “I would not be surprised; the guy’s an ace.”

“Totally agree.” You fidgeted with your phone between your hands. “He was also one of my first friends here after I transferred. He’s kind of shy, but he’s one of the good eggs you can meet.”

A nod. He glanced over at you, his eyes breathing in the far away look on your face. “Yeah, he is. But hey, at least you got to befriend him then, hm? Maybe some things are just meant to be.”

You met his gaze and Sunwoo felt his heart stutter into a gallop. “Yeah,” you murmured, “I think so, too.”

— ✶

You and Sunwoo ended up in one of the booths of the restaurants on the Avenue. It was a cozy, little hole in the wall with soup that tasted like home and made your belly feel warm and content. You had set up shop at your table, your laptop with the audio file pulled up and your wired earbuds plugged in. You had to power all of your will into not showing Sunwoo how nervous you were for him to listen to this—your fingers shook slightly even as you passed him both of your earbuds.

In an attempt to pass off as cool, calm and totally collected, you brought your glass of water to your mouth to sip on. You'd thought to order food first, then let Sunwoo listen to the file.

"Let me know if you can't hear anything," you blurted out just before he put the buds in.

He paused, then smiled. "I got it," he assured you warmly.

Once the buds were fitted and the song started playing, you could only wait and watch to gauge his reaction.

At first, his eyes widened a smidge. Then he slowly began nodding to the beat, eyes falling closed as he soaked in the electric guitar chords mixed in that Jisung helped you out with. You watched him lean back in his seat… saw the smile bloom on his face, wide like a flower opening its petals to greet the brilliant sun.

And that beautiful smile… oh, he was so pretty when he smiled.

It was a couple minutes later that his eyelids finally fluttered open, and yet that smile on his face remained ingrained there. He passed you your earbuds as you awaited the verdict. "Girl, you've got pipes," he said with emphasis, his face screwed up in an expression one could only describe as appreciative. "Like—oh my god, I want that bridge tattooed on my forehead," he groaned and leaned forward to bury his face in his palms.

Your heart could fly, soar, literally ascend to fucking space! You smiled, big and wide, as you wrapped up the wire chords around three fingers. "I'm glad you liked it."

"Liked it?" He perked up, then melted to the table as he mumbled into his hoodie sleeve, "I could kis…" You didn't catch the end bit of his sentence as his voice dissipated into the fabric of his shirt.

"What'd you say?"

When he lifted his head, his cheekbones had flushed a shade of rose gold. He cupped the back of his neck with a nervous laugh, "Nothing! It was nothing. I just—I just love it, Yn. Really, I mean it. I'm not just saying that because we're friends—"

"Ah, so we're friends?" You jested, even as your heart skipped like a pebble across the surface of a lake.

Sunwoo blinked, lips pursed. "We're not friends?"

"No, I'm only kidding!" You said and leaned your cheek against your fist. "Your reaction was cute though."

You swore something shuddered across his face, but you didn't have much time to analyze it when you felt a presence make himself clear at the head of the table.

Yangyang appeared in a warm-looking jacket and scarf, his eyes flickering curiously between you and Sunwoo. You suddenly felt an anxious spike in your chest at the thought of what this might have looked like to him. That was, until he saw the laptop, of course. You saw the relief in his shoulders, the ease in which he smiled now. "Hey Yn-ie, didn't know you'd be here."

Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Sunwoo scratch his jawline, then scoot forward and offer his hand to Yangyang. "Hey, I'm Sunwoo. You're Yangyang, aren't you?"

Yangyang clasped Sunwoo's hand good naturedly with a typical gummy smile. "Yeah, that's me. It's nice to meet you."

"I was just showing him the project," you said next, drawing both of the boys' attention to you.

"Ah," your friend nodded. "How'd you like it, Sunwoo?"

Sunwoo lit up. "It was—incredible. I don't even know how to describe it, y'know? If it was on my Spotify, it'd probably be on my Wrapped."

There went your heart, goodness. You and Sunwoo locked eyes across the table, and you wished you could convey how much his words meant to you by just a look.

"Totally agree," Yangyang nodded. "My Yn-ie's got a gift and she knows how to use it." He gave your head a gentle pat, and heat rose to your cheeks from the bombardment of attention. It hit you subtly, an epiphany—

Yangyang cleared his throat then and returned his hand to his side. "Anyways, I'll leave you two to it. I'll talk to you later?" He asked you as he was already taking a step backward.

—the heat wasn't for him. It simply wasn't.

"Yeah! I'll shoot you a text later," you promised. You realized then that you had barely even spoken to Yangyang since your Valentine's Day date ended several weeks ago. There had just been a lot of mixed feelings churning around in your head that needed time to be sorted out. (And it was currently being resolved.) With a slight inward grimace, you turned your focus back to the guy you'd brought here in the first place.

Sunwoo slid your laptop over to your side of the table. "Soooo… you and Yangyang, huh?" He laughed, and you weren't certain, but it sounded a bit unsteady.

You played with the hem of your sweater sleeve. "I mean, kind of? Not really? We went on that date a while back, if you remember, but that's about it."

He leaned in. "Yeah, I remember."

"Yeah, and we also haven't had time to really properly talk since?" You winced. "I guess it's not really as bad as I make it sound. It's just that, we've pretty much known each other since primary school. He had just moved from Taiwan, and we were pretty good friends. And he would move back and forth between here and this one town in Germany, but we would always—" you made a vague gesture, "—find each other? Is that the word?"

You let out a breathy sort of laugh. "I'm sorry, I dunno why I'm telling you my history with this guy. It's stupid."

Sunwoo frowned and shook his head. "It's not stupid, Yn."

You inhaled, then chewed on your cheek. "It's just that I always feel like people don't really stick around, at least for me. But Yangyang… he's been one of the few constants in my life, and I'm really grateful for that."

"I'm sensing there's a 'but' with this."

You indulged him. "But I'm starting to think that maybe I can't really see him as that kind of constant, if that makes sense." Your brows furrowed in thought. The boat you were on rocked roughly with the waves, the water turbulent and unsteady, as if at any moment it could throw you off. But you were used to the rocking, and you weren't sure why you should be so used to it. Settling for Yangyang even though you were beginning to realize that he probably wasn't The One? That was like staying docked in a home port you'd grown used to when you yearned for the horizon.

You heard Sunwoo crack his knuckles, and perhaps there really was a certain sheen to his eyes then. "I don't want to put words in your mouth," he drawled carefully, "and I can't imagine how exactly you feel and I don't know your whole story. But it has to be hard when it feels like, I don't know, like people are moving on without you." The earnestness in his eyes made his dark brown eyes deeper and richer. "And maybe it's comfortable with Yangyang and you want to try with him because you know that you two will always somehow find each other again."

"You kind of put what I was thinking into coherent sentences there," you mused, the corners of your lips curling upward.

Sunwoo reflected your expression. "That's good to hear, because I was pretty sure I sounded arrogant."

You laughed then, shaking your head. "No, I appreciated that. And you got it right." Breathing a sigh, you saw a waiter coming by to drop off the food the two of you had ordered. "I think it's just taken me some time with myself and with—with other people to make me realize it."

He glanced up with thanks as the waiter passed you your meals, and you swore you saw his hand make a move to reach for yours across the table. But he stopped short, and instead, helped move your hot bowl of soup over to you. "You never know," he said sheepishly, "The One could be right under your nose."

— ✶

eric 🤨: dude where did u go??? cobie hyung and i looked up and u disappeared into thin air

eric 🤨: omg jisung said u went somewhere w a GIRL??? IS THIS THE GIRL U WERE GETTING ALL DRUNK AND SAD ABT 👀

sunwoo’s phone: YAH!!! OH MY GOD STFU

eric 🤨: no.

EPISODE FIVE: LOTS OF THINGS BLOOM IN SPRING

“SO her name is DJ Dove?”

Sunwoo made a face around his toothbrush as he spat the frothy white into the sink bowl. “For the millionth time, yes.” Through the mirror, Sunwoo watched Eric’s face as his roommate perched himself atop the kitchen counter and went quiet, his face pensive. After coming home to Eric’s confrontation, Sunwoo promised to explain it all in the morning to him.

It was unfortunately the morning, meaning Sunwoo had spent the past hour bringing Eric up to speed on his nonexistent love life. Fortunately, it was also a Wednesday morning, which meant you had just posted your newest episode of the podcast, and Sunwoo could force Eric to listen to it with him. A part of him was tense at the thought of no longer “gatekeeping” his little secret that he had kept for the past several months, but this was Eric, one of his best friends. Maybe this would lift a weight off of Sunwoo’s chest by finally telling someone.

“...I’m still in the thrall of dead week,” your voice blasted from the speaker of Sunwoo’s phone at high volume, “and it’s come to my attention that next quarter will probably be a lot for me. I guess this is me forewarning you all that I might be late with some episodes because I’ve got this new internship thing.”

Sunwoo dunked his face into the sink bowl as he splashed water over his lathered foam cleanser. “She’s talking about her internship at the performing arts center.”

“How do you—never mind, forget I asked.”

Sunwoo patted his face dry, then opened the medicine cabinet for all of the skincare products he used to start off the day.

“...It’s been awhile since I’ve recommended something myself, so today, do enjoy ‘gone too long’ by lullaboy with me.” The song began a few seconds after you queued it up, and the apartment was then filled with muted vocals and strings.

Sunwoo straightened. He and Eric went quiet for a while as they both let the song sink in. Sunwoo continued to slather sunscreen on his face and neck, and Eric had started up the stove to make a batch of ramen for the both of them.

A peculiar sensation draped itself over Sunwoo’s shoulders, a blanket of something that wasn’t quite calm and wasn’t quite jittery. He didn’t know how to pinpoint or label the weird tightness in his chest. The song was strangely intimate, as almost all the music Sunwoo listened to was, but when it came from another person, it was always a whole new level of intimate. Whenever someone recommended a song, it was a way to view a piece of them—perhaps not a large piece, but a piece nonetheless. If eyes were the windows to the soul, then music was the viewfinder.

Maybe he missed you. But that didn’t make sense—it… it couldn’t make sense. He saw you yesterday, and he was listening to you now. How could he miss you?

“She has good taste,” Eric murmured as the song faded out.

Sunwoo nodded his head in agreement. “Yeah. She does.”

“...Hopefully when you miss me you’ll play that song,” he heard you say in a lighthearted tone, even though he felt almost like the complete opposite. “On that note, Rhaps sent in a message asking about the dance showcase coming up! ‘Are you planning on going, and if so, any acts you’re looking forward to? Isn’t it crazy that we could be sitting next to each other and never even know?’ —”

Eric perked up, his head peering over his shoulder to look at Sunwoo as he came out of the bathroom to join Eric in the kitchen. “That’s you? Rhaps?”

“Rhapsody Anonymous,” Sunwoo corrected. “And don’t judge me!” He added with a pointed look, finger jabbing in Eric’s direction.

Eric shook his head with a giddy sort of grin. “I didn’t say anything.”

For a moment, the two boys went quiet with only your voice and the sounds of the stove keeping them company.

A thought occurred to Eric though, and he worried his bottom lip between his teeth. “Does it ever feel like lying?” He asked and gestured for Sunwoo to grab a couple of bowls from the cabinet.

Sunwoo walked over with the soup bowls, then leaned his hip against the counter next to Eric. “Does what feel like lying?”

“Hiding that you know it’s her.”

Well… Sunwoo idly scratched his jaw. “I guess I never thought about it like that,” he said. All this time, he’d figured it was probably better that he didn’t bring it up to you. After all, you used a pseudonym for a reason and didn’t show your face. Maybe this was just supposed to be your secret passion project that you used as a safe space. He didn’t want to burst your bubble by confronting you with that information. How would he even go about doing it? Oh hey, by the way, I’ve known that you’re this podcast host DJ Dove for a very long time? That probably had ‘awkward’ written all over it.

Eric passed him a pointed glance. “Something to think about then.”

— ✶

Finals week had come and gone, a hurricane of destruction in its own right. But when the storm passed, it gave way to the beautiful cherry blossoms blooming in the quad. As per university tradition, the quad was filled to the brim with students, staff, and tourists alike gathering to pose in the falling pink petals that marked the coming of Spring Break. This was no different for Sunwoo’s friend group who was dragged out to the event by none other than Choi Chanhee. In an effort to appease his friend in some aspect, Sunwoo had come dressed in something decently presentable: black cargo pants, blue denim jacket, and his face fitted in a pair of dark frames (that were definitely not just frames or missing the lenses…).

He shoved his hands into his pockets after taking a peak at the time on his watch. The group had been here for about ten minutes thus far, and half of them had already split off with their significant others to take their own rounds about the quad. They weren't the only ones—in fact, there were probably as many couples as there were people taking grad photos and cosplay photos.

And wait, someone had come in their wedding dress—nothing spelled out Sunwoo's singleness more potently than a couple getting married.

He took a panoramic glance and accidentally watched another couple go in for a kiss. He looked away with a slight frown, blowing a curl out of his eyes. "I hate this more than Valentine's Day," he grumbled.

From beside him, Kevin Moon sighed as he tested a shot with his camera and had to adjust the settings for the right exposure. "You're telling me." When he raised his camera up again, he immediately had to bring it back down with a deadpan expression, "At least on Valentine's Day, people won't photobomb you."

As the group's self-proclaimed Dad, Lee Sangyeon, summoned the attention of the boys who were present for a partial group photo. Sunwoo smiled for it, then returned to his frown. Chanhee had his camera held up as he attempted to take a selfie shot since he had been staking out this one tree trunk that a group of people had just left. Sunwoo had to admire the way Chanhee wordlessly swooped in like a vulture over a dead carcass.

"Aye, Kim Sunwoo," Chanhee exclaimed and beckoned Sunwoo over with a curl of his two fingers. Chanhee's head scanned the immediate area and his nose wrinkled when he realized he was missing someone. "Where did Changmin go? He was literally right… ah."

Chanhee's voice trailed off and a sly, little grin when he located the man in question. "Look."

Sunwoo followed Chanhee's gaze across the field to where he was sneaking up behind a familiar person. Sunwoo had met this girl twice, once when he and Changmin had gone looking for Jacob and the other when he went with Changmin to go see her for moral support. Both times, strangely, had been at the lab. Huh, did she even go home…?

But then Sunwoo observed the way Changmin and CM!Yn looked at each other. Though Sunwoo had seen Changmin's eyes light up before, this was a different sort of twinkle, something softer. There had always been a cloud hanging over Changmin when it came to this girl, always some kind of bittersweetness that held him back. It made a smile crawl onto his lips at the sight of Changmin so happy.

"Wah," Chanhee murmured in awe. "They really mended their relationship well, don't you think?"

Sunwoo pursed his lips with an indulgent nod. "Yeah, I'd think so."

His friend sighed. "Oh, well. Looks like it's just us two then."

Sunwoo stepped forward and took Chanhee's phone from him, swiftly changing it to the forward facing camera. Chanhee struck a few poses beneath the blush pink trees as he soaked in the golden hour sunlight streaking across the lawn. Eventually, Sunwoo turned the camera back around to take shots of both himself and Chanhee.

He adjusted the phone so that the selfie mode could capture both of them when he spotted Chanhee scuttling back over toward him with a pile of pink petals collected in his palms.

Sunwoo's eyes went wide and he leapt backward away from his grinning friend. "Hyung, come on, let's talk about this."

Chanhee cackled and inched forward still. His hair was the exact same color as the flowers cupped in his palms. "Sunwoo-ah," he sang, "I think your hair needs a bit of color."

"I just did my hair this morning!" He whined and pleaded desperately. The last thing he needed was to be plucking stray petals from his curls later tonight. When Chanhee still wouldn't quit, adrenaline began to pump through Sunwoo's veins in anticipation for what he needed to do next. "Chanhee hyung! We can be civil about this."

"Civility is overrated!"

Just as Chanhee pounced, Sunwoo swerved on the ball of his foot and made a mad dash toward the other side of the quad. Chanhee's giggles filled the late afternoon air like the twinkling of bells, and though it was probably an amusing sight for onlookers, Sunwoo was running for his life.

Sunwoo pumped his legs furiously as he weaved in between people standing and taking their pictures, screaming out apologies for photobombing them as he went. And when he nearly tripped over someone's dog, he managed to lock eyes with yours.

You. Oh my god, you were here.

He had little time to fully comprehend what he was about to do, but he made a beeline for you.

"Sunwoo, hey—oh!"

Sunwoo grabbed your shoulders and careened himself behind you, his face partially hidden behind yours. "I'm sorry, but—" he screeched, "—he's threatening to ruin my hair!"

Chanhee laughed as he stopped in front of you and Sunwoo. His pale cheeks were dusted with the color of the flowers in the air. "Ah, well, hello. This isn't very gentlemanly of you, Sunwoo. Who's this?" He threw Sunwoo a look over your shoulder.

Fuck. He hadn't thought this one through.

Sunwoo laughed sheepishly and let go of your shoulders to clasp the back of his neck. It was only then he realized you were wearing a delicate, pastel sundress with cherry blossoms littered in your own hair. A gentle breeze wafted by and through your skirt and brushed back a few strands of your hair too.

Pretty…

"This is," he stammered, snapping out of his daze, "Yn. Yn-ie, this is one of my close friends, Chanhee."

"It's nice to meet you," Chanhee said with a warm smile and slight bow of his head.

You gave a little wave. "Nice to meet you, too, despite the circumstances."

"I would wave back," Chanhee gestured with his hand of flowers, "but this is a nice pile, don't you think?"

To your credit, you played along. You laughed, "I totally agree. It definitely should not be wasted on giving me a wave. Though, I'm sure there will be plenty of opportunities to get back at Sunwoo." You turned your head and cocked a brow at him, to which he smiled back boyishly.

Chanhee considered you again for a moment. "I like your style. I guess I'll just… leave you to it then," he drawled and sent Sunwoo very pointed glances with his eyes toward you. Something about the way Chanhee's eyes narrowed minutely made Sunwoo want to hide behind you again.

Chanhee whistled a merry tune as he went on his way, leaving you and Sunwoo to your own devices as he probably went to go find his next victim.

"I'm so sorry about that," Sunwoo lamented as soon as Chanhee was out of ear shot. "I did not mean to make you a human shield."

You chuckled. "It's okay, dude, really. Definitely didn't think I'd find anyone I knew in this mess, so it's nice seeing you out here."

Sunwoo gave you yet another once over and felt heat crawl up the column of his neck. "I—you look really pretty," he said, gesturing to your outfit.

"Oh, thank you," you chirped. "You clean up quite well yourself."

The two of you shared a smile then and for a second, Sunwoo's mouth went dry and no words leapt from his tongue. They all remained lodged in his throat where his heartbeat went pitter-patter.

He cleared his throat, breaking eye contact with you for a moment.

You made a vague nod toward one of the open benches lining the perimeter of the quad, an invitation. "Wanna come sit with me?"

"Do I?" Yes. The answer was yes.

When you and Sunwoo were seated side by side, centimeters separating your arms and legs from touching the other, his heart still had not settled. The adrenaline, in fact, also had her to dissipate. With wide eyes, he soaked everything in.

"Did you go to the winter showcase on Friday night?" He blurted, turning to you.

You met his gaze. "I did. It was such a cool experience, especially since it was my first time. Did you?"

He nodded, locking his lips. "I did, yeah," he murmured. "I had a couple friends performing, so we all went to cheer them on. It's always a really great time though; I'm glad you got to go."

"Oh, that's nice. I always find dancers so impressive," you said with a wistful gleam in your eyes. "Do you dance?"

He found himself fidgeting with Chanhee's phone that he still held onto in his lap. "A little," he admitted bashfully. "I took an intro to hip-hop class last year, and I sometimes dance with my friends. Just—not in public," he said.

For a second, something flickered across your face. But he must have been dreaming because it was gone as quickly as it came.

"So music and dance? You're a multi-talented threat, Sunwoo."

"Aw, not really," he giggled. He wanted to hide his burning face in the collar of his jacket, but there was something about you that also made him unafraid to show you this side of him. Actually, you made this side of him come out. He wasn't usually so terribly shy, always tumbling over his words and doing diction cartwheels… communications major, his ass. "What about you? You're literally a musical genius. You should be on my Spotify Wrapped, Yn."

This time, he could relish in making you flustered. "Aye, you can't say that and expect me not to wanna…" You lost your own words, biting your tongue.

He didn't know what got into him, but he leaned forward closer to you. "Expect you not to what?" He asked lowly, teasingly.

Your breath hitched in your throat, and he swore his own rapidly-beating organ was going to come flying out of his chest.

"Expect me not to—steal your glasses!" With a high-pitched squeal, you snatched the lensless frames from right off his nose.

Sunwoo gasped in scandal, diving to grab them back, but you had already stood up from the bench. "Yah! Those were expensive frames!"

Your face lit up as you donned them. "You'll have to take it off my face then!"

"Bet!" And he lurched after you as you took off into the setting sun.

Your voices echoed across the quad: "Jisuuuuuung! Jisung, save me!"

"Jisung can't save you when he's scared of me!"

EPISODE SIX: AND THE MUSES ARE OFF!

"IT'S not a date!"

"It's a date!"

"It's not a date!" Sunwoo stopped abruptly in the middle of his living room where he had been wearing a hole in the wood floors from pacing. He whirled on his sock-clad heels to face his sofa of judges, Changmin and Chanhee. Eric was out with his girlfriend watching the newest action movie that had come out over Spring Break. "She would say if it was a date, right?"

Chanhee smacked his palm against his forehead with a puff of air. Changmin, however, leaned back on the couch with a ponderous look on his face and rubbed his chin with his thumb and forefinger. "She probably would. She seems like she has more balls than you."

"Hey!"

Changmin grinned. "Just saying." He then leaned down to pick up his duffle bag sitting at his feet. "I've gotta run now, but let me know how it goes."

Sunwoo leveled a scowl at him as he passed by to go to the door. "I hope CM!Yn trips you in the practice room."

"Into her arms!" He hollered back, which was swiftly followed by the front door slamming shut.

While Changmin was headed out to meet CM!Yn at the practice room for her first time returning to dance after three years, Sunwoo and Chanhee were left to prepare Sunwoo for today's agenda. Yesterday, you and he had traded numbers, to which you had immediately asked if he'd wanted to hang out with you some more over Spring Break. The answer had been as easy as counting to three.

Now the only problem was to not freak out over it.

"You're picking up lunch, aren't you?" Chanhee asked as he shoved Sunwoo into the bathroom.

Sunwoo nodded shallowly and picked up his round brush and blow-dryer. "Mhm. I'm meeting her at the performing arts building, and we're gonna take the metro up to Lake Anchor. Ever been up there?"

Chanhee fixed the collar of Sunwoo's white button-up, then snatched the brush and blowdryer out of his hands to do it for him. "Nope. Heard it's nice up there though."

"Yeah," Sunwoo muttered, nearly dropping the serum bottle in his hands. "She said her friend Sieun recommended it."

"Ah."

It wouldn't have felt like a date as much if Sunwoo hadn't searched up Lake Anchor when you'd texted him about it last night. The place was gorgeous, a certified calendar-worthy landscape with purple mountain majesties in the back and shores lined with emerald green hills and willow trees. It didn't help that the Reddit pages all deemed it a "couple's picnic spot you can't miss." Oh, he wasn't going to miss it, all right.

Thirty minutes later, he found himself outside the doors to the performing arts center where you said you were currently taking a tech lesson from Bang Chan. He had a paper bag of snacks and sandwiches from the local convenience store in one hand and the other tucked away into his pocket.

He wondered if he could go in and see you, but he'd already texted you he was waiting outside, and you'd replied you were on your way out.

Just as he was about to go sit on one of the benches, one of the doors at the entrance opened. You emerged out into the late spring morning with the breeze in your hair, a tote bag slung over one shoulder, and a ukulele case hanging from the other. You smiled wide at him and waved.

Sunwoo's lips parted into a grin. "Hi. I got us snacks," he said and lifted the brown bag in his hand.

"Sunwoo, you didn't have to," you pursed your lips fondly, adjusting your bag straps.

"I wanted to." The two of you fell into step in the direction of the closest metro station. It would be a short walk from here into the university Avenue, and down a block to the station. Everything was conveniently placed in the name of accessibility. "Plus, I didn't really eat breakfast," he admitted.

"Me neither." You cupped half your face with your palm. "Aish. I always forget I have, like, yogurt in the fridge, y'know?"

Sunwoo chuckled. "Yeah, I get that. My roommate and I always forget that we have groceries in the fridge because we always see the ramen packets on the counter instead. How was the lesson with Chan?"

The two of you stopped at the intersection to wait for the light. You hugged your ukulele to your chest. "It was good! He's always really helpful and knowledgeable—and patient," you mused. "I hope you don't mind me bringing my uke along though. I thought it would be a nice form of entertainment once we got up to the lake."

"I'm not entertaining enough for you," he gasped melodramatically, jutting his bottom lip out in a pout.

You laughed, and the sound made him break his pout and smile. "I thought I would be the entertaining one for once. D'you know how to play?"

The crosswalk sign turned on for you, and you both made your way across.

"I know some guitar," Sunwoo answered, "but just the basics. They teach you a bit at summer music camp." As he walked by your side, he felt his hand brush against the back of yours. "My hyung—Jacob—he plays guitar pretty well. He's good at singing, too, like you."

He caught your smile from the corner of his eye.

"He did it to woo his girlfriend," he jested, sticking his tongue in his cheek when he remembered how JC!Yn brought him and Haknyeon up to speed last quarter about her love life antics.

You chuckled. "That's a shame you know the trick," you said with an impish twinkle in your eyes, "because that was exactly my plan."

Sunwoo came to a screeching halt in the middle of the walkway, and when you realized he was still staring wide-eyed at the sidewalk, you let out a laugh and went back to drag him along to the station.

— ✶

The view was something out of a magazine, the kind that took one's breath away. You and Sunwoo had claimed the shade beneath a willow tree and settled down across from each other with the brown paper bag flattened out to display the feast he had purchased. There were other small groups of people around, as well, all of whom seemed to have the same ideas as you two as they soaked up sun, read books and napped in the shade, and picnicked along the grassy shoreline. There was even a small booth a mile down the bank that rented out swan-shaped paddle boats and canoes for people to take out onto the water.

You and Sunwoo had pretty much demolished all of the goodies he brought with him. The conversation had been flowing, simple and organic, and you felt at peace—that was the best way to describe it. Maybe it was the location, the circumstance, the company, or all three.

You picked up your ukulele from where it laid in its case by your side. "Any suggestions?" You queried, taking the instrument out and checking that it was in tune.

Sunwoo brushed his hands of crumbs and braced his palms on the grass behind him. It was the visual of him in that white shirt, his sleeves rolled up and collarbone exposed, jawline clean and sharp as he gazed out at the view that made your heart race again. "Hmm," he hummed, "what did you first learn on it?"

"I think I taught myself Lemonade by Jeremy Passion," you said to him and scoured your brain for the right chords. You strummed a G-flat minor, and when it sounded about right, you shifted to B, until you managed to jog your memory of all four chords.

He watched you with softened eyes, his knees pulled up to his chest now as he leaned his cheek onto the tops of his knees. "That's a good song," he murmured.

"Do you know the lyrics?"

He chuckled, shaking his head and flicking his wrist. "Oh, no, no. I don't sing."

"Doesn't sound like you can't," you quipped back with a teasing tilt in your smile. You swayed a little as you played the tune over and over again. "A little shy, are we?"

You could see the smile peeking from his lips even when he tried to hide it in his arms. "I don't sing a lot."

"If I sang the first verse, would you join me in the chorus?" You offered as a compromise. You wouldn't push after this if he still refused, but there was a part of you that felt like you needed to hear this beautiful man sing for you.

He balked for a second, toeing at the dirt. Then, "Okay. I'll join in at the chorus."

A smile bloomed on your face. "Excellent."

You were a little shaky going in yourself. Though you had definitely practiced this song more times than you could count, performing it for someone else was always like playing it for the first time. And you wanted Sunwoo to enjoy it, and to be impressed by you. You wanted to do well for him and to be able to encourage him.

As he said he would, you heard him join in at the chorus—softly, at first, until he was the main vocal and you could bolster him with the harmony.

His eyes met yours, all smiles, as the song continued on. The ending verse… dear god, you could fall over from pure giddiness at the way he nailed the runs and you could do a little showing off with your strumming. Shivers, just plain shivers.

"She's exactly what… I need," he crooned, fingers playing absentmindedly with a strand of grass.

You let the vibrations of the strings linger in the spring air for a moment. It was like the two of you were encased in this bubble all by yourselves; and it was beautiful. It was perfect.

"I knew you could sing," you said to him. "I just had a feeling."

He hung his head, but the smile on his face could not be suppressed. "Thanks."

"For what?"

"For encouraging me," he shook his head. "Believing in me."

You pursed your lips together thoughtfully and you wished you could pick his brain without risking total invasion. "Do people not believe in you often?" You asked quietly, shifting to move yourself around the pile of rolled-up trash and to sit next to him.

He followed your lead, scooting himself next to you until you were no longer opposite, but adjacent. "Not people, just me, I think."

"Ah." You could empathize.

He gave a shallow nod. "Do you ever get scared of making a mistake so you don't—I dunno—go for it? And then you end up thinking that maybe not taking that risk was the mistake?"

You set your ukulele down in the case beside you and mirrored his position, arms looped around your legs. "I do. All the time actually, and it's a scary feeling."

"Yeah," he exhaled. "Sometimes I wish I had just gone into music, full-on. I mean, a communication major is useful and all, but there are times when I wonder where I would have been if I had nurtured that passion."

His words resonated within you. There was a reason why you transferred to this university and decided to leave your original plan behind. You had gone into college with an intent to major in Computer Science, but less than a year in, it had become abundantly clear to you how unhappy you were. Leaving wasn't just a choice, it had been a need.

You turned to look at Sunwoo and you felt your chest tug toward him. You bumped his leg with your knee. "You still have time," you said. "It's not too late to still see where that goes."

But you knew the conflict that warred in his head; you knew it all too well because you had experienced it firsthand. It was much more complicated than simply chasing after one's dreams. There was obligations, expectations, fears, and physical obstacles that made the situation more complex than it seemed at first glance. You didn't know his family situation, didn't know the whole story of why he hadn't taken his summer music camp experiences and translated it into his current college career.

You didn't know it all… but you wanted to. You wanted to know everything about him.

"You said you don't have a minor figured out yet, right?" You asked suddenly, an idea coming to you.

He hummed. "Yeah."

"Well, why don't you choose music as your minor?" When he didn't answer right away, you added, "You obviously don't have to decide right this second—it's just something to think about."

(It seemed he had a lot he needed to think about lately.)

Sunwoo rose up and leaned back onto his palms again. When he turned to look at you, a sense of calm had come over him this time. "I really appreciate you."

You broke into a smile. "I appreciate you, too."

"No, really," he laughed, then bit his lip. "I'm sorry for screwing the mood—"

"You're not! Really," you insisted. "I don't mind. I like having meaningful conversations with people who mean a lot to me."

He didn't even have to say anything, because there was this look, one you simply could not ignore. It made your stomach feel like it was swarmed with butterflies and that you were walking on air. It was like watching him smile while listening to the song you wrote, like walking out of the performing arts center to see him waiting for you. He didn't have to say anything because you knew—you had to. There simply could not be any other explanation, right?

EPISODE SEVEN: WHAT IF SOULS FEEL FAMILIAR FOR A REASON?

YOU had been keeping a secret.

"So what you're saying is that you know that he knows, but he doesn't know that you know that he knows?"

You nodded, arms crossed. "Yeah, pretty much."

Jisung made a face and rested his temple against his palm. "My brain hurts."

From where she was perched on a stool, Park Sieun reached over and patted Jisung's nest of hair. "It is a little confusing. Why don't you just confront him about it?"

"I don't know," you huffed and fell back against the wall. The three of you were holed up in one of the private studios on campus. There weren't many buildings opened since it was still Spring Break, but many of the performing arts facilities were. Jisung had offered for you and Sieun to meet him in the room he had snagged and had been currently occupying in order to bust out as much creative energy as possible. (Newsflash, it was not going well, hence, yours and Sieun's invitations.) Studio rooms were pretty much soundproof, so they were good for those in the music programs who wanted a private space to practice or record things.

You had just brought them up to speed on your latest outing with a certain Kim Sunwoo up to Lake Anchor, as Sieun had so graciously suggested to you the other day. After your outing, however, you'd come to one very solid conclusion.

Well, and there was the matter of The Anonymous Situation.

Just this morning, you had opened your inbox to find another submission from one of your regular anonymous listeners whom you affectionately nicknamed Rhaps. Rhapsody Anonymous had begun to pop up in your inbox just last quarter, and it wasn't until recently that you figured out who it was. At first, it seemed completely implausible for Sunwoo to be the face behind the name, because there was no way out of a whole internet of people that he had managed to stumble across your podcast.

To make matters more complex, you had an inkling that he also knew that you were the host of Songbird Station. He had sent you something along the lines of: "Hey Dovey! I stumbled across this song recently that I haven't heard in awhile. It's called Lemonade, and I realize that I've only actually heard the ukulele vers. LOL anyways, I hope you're not too busy this Spring Break and that you've had time to relax. I've always wondered though… have you ever met someone who feels familiar to you? Not like in a 'I've reunited with you after five years' kind of familiar, but like… something more like kindred spirits……"

The whole message had the same amount of sweetness he always used to contact and interact with you, but the recommendation of the song Lemonade simply could not be a mere coincidence. You just couldn't accept that.

You had pondered this for a long time—the possibility of confronting him about his anonymous persona. And of course, there were several things that held you back from doing so. "I mean," you began, pushing off from the wall to slowly pace the little room available, "I don't want to scare him, y'know? Like I'm sure there's a reason why he goes by a pseudonym like I do, and I don't want to burst that bubble.

"Plus," you continued, "what if I'm just thinking about this all wrong? What if I've read the signs completely out of proportion and he's not actually Rhapsody Anonymous? That would just be embarrassing."

You stopped in front of your friends with your hands positioned on your hips and your head quirked to the side in thought.

"Would it really be so bad if you brought it up, like, even subtly?" Sieun asked you, her pink-tinted lips pursed slightly.

Jisung piped up, too, "Yeah, Sunwoo's a pretty cool guy. And based on what I've seen between the two of you and what you've told us, I don't think he would laugh at you or anything."

"I don't think he would laugh at me either," you confessed. "It's just kinda scary."

The two murmured their agreement. Though Sieun was your trio's only extrovert, you actually had no idea how you'd come to be decently close friends with these two. You chalked it up to all frequenting similar social circles. The music program was always a good way to make friends, and you were glad that it had yet to fail you, even in college.

Sieun made a vague gesture with her hand. "I think you should try, though. I'm sure you'll find a way to slide it in," she chuckled.

Jisung snorted. "I have never seen that man so flustered in his life."

"Yeah, he has to be whipped for you, Yn-ie."

A cough from the boy in the room. "Not like you're any more whipped than he is."

"Han Jisung!" You reprimanded, heat swarming to your cheeks.

He broke into a boyish grin, eyes wide and alight like a chipmunk. "What? Don't give me the government name; you know it's true!"

Even Sieun was laughing behind her oh-so delicately placed hand. "He's got a point."

You sighed, wrinkling your nose. "I came for support, not a call out."

"Are those not the same things—AH, I'M SORRY DON'T WHACK ME—!"

— ✶

There was a place on the Avenue with the best lime soda, as Sunwoo had claimed, when the two of you coordinated to get lunch together. Because you had chosen the place of your last hangout, you'd insisted that he chose a place this time. By his texts, he had seemed pleasantly surprised to be hanging out again so soon, and while your nerves were high in anticipation for the coming conversation, you also couldn't wait to spend time with him some more.

You met outside the storefront of a Vietnamese restaurant that you'd only seen in passing, and had yet to try. You glanced up from your phone just as Sunwoo came up from down the road toward you, dressed in jeans and a bomber jacket.

"Hey, sorry to keep you waiting," he said as he swung the door open for you.

You and he ducked inside. "It's no worries," you assured him. "Hope you're not sick of me just yet."

You saw that boyish grin of his as he caught your eyes and signaled the waiter for a table for two. "Never."

When the two of you were seated, your eyes greedily took in the options laid out on the menu. There were just far too many appetizing items—maybe you should have scouted out the menu beforehand.

"Any favorites?" You queried from over the rim of your menu.

Sunwoo was slinging his shoulder bag over his head as you asked this. "Oh, uh, I've been hooked on their shrimp banh xeo ever since my friend Haknyeon introduced me to it. It's like a Vietnamese crepe with stir fried vegetables and a protein. But I think in general, everything is pretty good here."

You hummed. "Mmh, sounds good. And you said the lime soda is really good, too?"

He nodded his head vigorously. "Yes, for sure. That stuff is addicting."

You took his word for it, and soon, the two of you had finished ordering your lunch for the day. A part of you wished you didn't have to disturb the pleasantness of this one-on-one lunch date (was this a date?) with Sunwoo by bringing up the podcast, but what if by clearing the air, it would make your relationship stronger? (Or, it could end in a fiery, hot pile of shit!)

Either way, you would try to get to it as organically as possible.

"So I wanted to talk to you about something." Yes, because this is totally organic, Yn… You grabbed your cup of lime soda and played absentmindedly with the straw.

You gauged his reaction carefully. He perked up. "You—you wanted to talk to me about something?" He parroted, pointing his finger back at himself. "That's not usually good."

"Sorry, no, it's not bad!" You promised. On the way here, you had come up with about a dozen ways to go about this, but at the end of the day, there would only be a yes or no answer. "Do you, by chance, happen to listen to podcasts?"

There was that flicker of recognition over his face, and for a second, he reminded you of something like a puppy with how wide his eyes were. "Uhh," he drawled, scratching his head and feigning nonchalance, "I mean, sometimes. Like casually."

"This might sound weird—"

"Uh-huh."

"—but are you Rhapsody Anonymous?"

If sweat could be animated, that was what you imagined to be dripping down the side of Sunwoo’s face at this moment. He seemed to be figuring out a way to reply. “Would you believe me if I asked you what a Rhapsody Anonymous is?”

“No, not really.”

“What’s a podcast?”

You huffed. “Sunwoo—”

“Okay,” he relented, slumping over slightly. He seemed nervous, in a way, eyes looking anywhere but you, twirling his straw between his thumb and index finger, his foot tapping furiously against the linoleum floor. “I’m sorry! I didn’t really want to bring up the podcast to you because I thought that you enjoyed the anonymity, y’know?” He told you with an apologetic wince. “And I really liked listening to the show, so I thought it wouldn’t hurt to interact with you anonymously, as well, and over time, I thought we’d kinda become friends.”

He peered up at you nervously, and guilt wormed its way into the trenches of your gut. From what it seemed, he must have really thought that you would react negatively to him knowing your podcast-hosting side show.

“We are friends,” you finally said and scooped a lock of hair out of your face. “I’m not like, mad, or anything; it was more of me trying to figure out why you felt so familiar to me. And I’m really honored that you liked my podcast enough to want to interact with me there. It means a lot.”

With your small smile, Sunwoo’s posture flooded with relief. “So you’re not mad that I figured out your identity?”

“Definitely not,” you shook your head. “If anything, I’m relieved. I’ve been wondering about your identity for a while now.”

The corners of Sunwoo’s mouth lifted. “That’s… that’s cool. This is really cool,” he said. He let out a sigh, leaning back to slump in his chair with a dramatic expression of anguish on his face. “You have no idea how much it’s been eating me up inside, Dovey! Like how do you balance your two identities? It takes so much energy for me to make sure I keep them separate.”

“I can tell; you weren’t exactly the most inconspicuous,” you teased.

He sat up. “What do you—”

“Well, you kind of told me things in person that you’ve told to me on anonymous, and vice versa.” You recalled to him the two main instances that gave him away to you. It was amusing to see the way he grew increasingly more flustered as you kept talking about it, but you realized that this was probably incredibly painful for him to hear.

Sunwoo had his head in his hands by the time you were done. “I’m an idiot.”

“You’re not an idiot.”

He shifted slightly so that his cheek rested against one palm. “And to think that I was being all slick and secretive,” he pouted, scrunching up his nose. “You know, I always thought about being friends with you in real life. That one time that I told you about that one Taylor Swift song that reminded me of you?”

“Superstar?”

“Yeah, that’s the one.” He meditated on that thought while sipping his drink. “It just felt right. Like you were far away but also right there in my ear. Does that make sense?”

You knew what the song was about; you could recite the lyrics by heart, and the fact that he associated that song with you… It sent your heart a-flutter. “It does.”

He jolted up so suddenly you nearly fell out of your seat with him. “Not that I’m desperately in love with you or anything,” he added quickly, the words tumbling out of his mouth as fast as he mentally skimmed through the lyrics again and again. His cheeks were tinged with pink, and you were sure that your neck looked as hot as it felt.

You pretended your heart didn’t drop to the pit of your stomach when he said that. You laughed along with him, though you weren’t sure why it sounded like it did. “Oh, right, right. I didn’t think that; don’t worry.” All the butterflies in your stomach drooped.

Sunwoo scrambled to find the right words. “I just mean that I always felt like some average Joe, and you were…” He gestured to you helplessly, “you.”

Your heart couldn’t help but give a sharp pang at that.

“And how could I ever be anything more to you than just another listener in your stats, y’know?”

You never thought that you would have ever given off that kind of vibe toward listeners, or come to mean that much to any members of your audience. It had seemed simply impossible for you to ever become large enough to evoke that kind of feeling in people—a popstar to their fans. You folded your arms over the table and leaned toward him. “Sunwoo, you were never just another listener. You made yourself known to me and you made me feel like I wasn’t alone.”

He slowly met your eyes, and you sat up straighter, reaching toward the paper straw wrapper to fidget with. “I originally started this podcast because I needed a place to talk. After feeling like people were always moving on without me, I was trying to search for validation, and I found that in podcasting. I figured that maybe… if I was feeling these things, then there had to be someone out there who was feeling them, too.

“And the song recommendation and music talk was always a nice bonus,” you added. “I had people send in anonymous submissions, but never as frequently as you did, and it made me feel like I was reaching somebody. Not just a random hit every so often, but somebody.”

Sunwoo’s eyes shone in the artificial lighting inside the restaurant, and outside your little bubble, you barely registered the noises around you. It was just you and Sunwoo in this moment in time and space. He swallowed. “You’re really cool, you know that?”

You grabbed your cup of lime soda and softly knocked it against his. “That’s all you, superstar.”

— ✶

Lunch had progressed much smoother after you had confronted Sunwoo, to say the least. You were convinced, however, that you had to meet this Haknyeon character he kept telling you about. He was the one to recommend the Vietnamese restaurant, and he was going to be your new favorite person. (Sorry, Sunwoo.)

When both you and Sunwoo had finished up with lunch, you didn’t want to cut your time with him short and asked him if he’d ever been up to the Farmer’s Market north of the Ave.

“There’s a Farmer’s Market over there?” His mouth gaped as he let you lead him a couple blocks north.

You grinned, tipping your head up to the sky to soak in the last bits of sunlight before it was about to be blanketed over by gray clouds. “Yeah! It’s really neat. They’ve got one going every week, I think.”

The walk up was an easy one as it was a straight shot from the restaurant to the intersection where white picket fences were set up to barricade the street for vendors to set up in. Pop-up tents of different colors and sizes lined either side of the street as people milled about going from vendor to vendor. This had been one of the few gems you’d found when you transferred here, and though you didn’t often visit, you tried to buy at least a couple things to support the local businesses. The fruit here tasted much better than the ones in-stores, anyway.

You and Sunwoo slipped past the fences and into the throng of people, and you watched his face light up in awe as he took in the sights and smells. There were people selling beaded bracelets and art, farmers tossing blueberries into kids’ mouths… it was a lively slice of community here.

“Wow, this is incredible,” he said, but suddenly stopped short. “Oh my god, they’re selling melon pops, Yn-ie!” He pointed out a stand a little further down the way that he had peered over a few heads for. He grabbed your hand and pulled you along with him. “Come on! I’ll treat you to one.”

It wasn’t like you were going to refuse him.

Within another few minutes, you and Sunwoo had both acquired one melon popsicle each. It was adorable to see him bouncing along on the balls of his feet like a kid on Christmas morning as he lapped up the light green juice dripping down the side of the frozen treat.

“—look how pretty those sunflowers are!” He gasped at one of the stands to your left selling bundles of different flowers.

An idea popped into your head, and you scurried over to the booth and traded a two dollar bill for one of the baby sunflowers. You whirled around to where Sunwoo stood and waited for you. “Stand still,” you said while reaching up to tuck the flower behind his ear.

Before he could comprehend what was happening, you pulled out your phone and snapped a quick picture of him.

Sunwoo’s eyes had gone wide, his cheekbones the same color as the roses in the bundles behind you. “What… just happened,” he asked, blinking, then came over to poke your shoulder to get your attention. He peered over at your phone screen to see that you were setting the photo you took as his new contact photo. He let out a hum, “Wow.”

“It’s cute.” You let him see the picture.

He narrowed his eyes at the screen before finally giving it a nod of approval. “Okay, good enough.”

You scoffed, lightly hitting his arm with the back of your hand. “Good enough? I think it’s perfect.” You finished off the rest of your melon pop and tossed the stick in a nearby trash bin.

(If you’d looked up from your phone at that moment, you would have seen the utter bliss on Sunwoo’s face after hearing you compliment a picture of him and calling it “perfect.” To him, absolutely nothing could ruin this day, this moment, this year for him—!)

One raindrop fell onto your phone screen, followed by another, and another, and ano--

(He should not have spoken so soon.)

“It’s raining,” you observed dumbly, reaching a palm out to feel the pitter-patter of the sky’s tears on your skin. Others around you were beginning to notice, too, either huddling under their nearest tent or the overhangs of establishments lined on the sidewalk.

You figured somebody must have pissed the weather off because the rain only began to drum harder against the world.

"Well, shit," you laughed and patted Sunwoo on the back of his shoulder to move him toward the side of the road. "Let's find shelter!"

The two of you joined the crowd as you scrambled past the tents and up onto the sidewalks. Some people simply went into the shops themselves, but you and Sunwoo took a moment to stare out at the once-clear sky. Strange how springtime weather worked.

Sunwoo finished off his popsicle and found a trash bin to toss the stick into. He ran a hand through his dampened locks, then dragged that same palm down his face. "D'you like a little rain, dove?"

The nickname caught you off-guard for a second, but not as badly as seeing the soft-cornered smile on his face.

You cleared your throat. "I don't mind it. How about you?"

He made a frown at the sky as if he could reprimand nature for crashing the date—wait, this wasn't a date, was it? "It would have been nice if the weather report was accurate for once, but a little walk in the rain never hurt anybody."

You voiced your agreement. The next course of action you both decided on was making the long trek home in the rain together. You tried to stay out of the shower as best as you could, but there definitely weren't enough overhangs to get you home completely dry.

At one of the intersections, Sunwoo looked over at you through his dripping wet bangs. "You don't have a jacket."

On instinct, you glanced down at your bare arms, only clad in a T-shirt. "Oh, I guess I don't," you mused.

"Here—" he shouldered off the black bomber jacket and draped it over your shoulders.

"Sunwoo, I can't—"

"Yes, you can," he laughed and shook his head out. The light turned green to cross, and he wrapped an arm around you to keep you steady along the rain-slicked street.

The jacket and arm around you were both warm, but you had a feeling that even without the jacket, his arm would have been more than enough.

When you'd made it to your apartment complex and bursted into the front lobby, you and Sunwoo practically stood in your own self-made puddles. You took the jacket off from around your shoulders and shook it out; it was a shoddy attempt to get the water out, but at least the material was semi-waterproof on the outside.

"Here you…" Your throat went dry as you made to hand his jacket back to him and zeroed in on the way his wet, white T-shirt stuck flush against his skin. There was no other way to describe it but as see through, and there was no way in hell you were going to be able to erase that defined stomach from your mind. "...Go."

You coughed as you looked away, and he accepted his jacket back with a low "Thanks."

When he zipped his jacket up, you nodded toward the elevator. "Do you wanna come up and dry off before you go out? You can totally borrow my umbrella if you want, too."

He shook his head. "No, it's okay. My apartment's not far, I swear."

"Ah, alright. Get home safe then." You paused, then added, "Text me once you get back?"

Sunwoo flashed you a smile, and man, if you could engrave that smile, the wet hair, into your brain… "Promise. I'll see you soon, superstar."

He reached over and ruffled your hair, then ducked out of your apartment into the rain. Just before he was out of your sight, he turned back and waved at you through the front windows.

You let out an exhale once he had disappeared. A fuzzy feeling lingered in your chest, your smile never leaving your face. You were so far gone.

EPISODE EIGHT: SWERVE LIKE A CHICKEN

ALTHOUGH Spring Break had swept through the university faster than it came, Sunwoo could still say he felt like he was riding on Cloud 9. The beginning of the quarter was easily a more relaxed part of the term, but Spring quarter itself was a whole other nightmare in itself. Everyone around him was beginning to wake up from their break-dazed slumbers to clamber their asses back into uncomfortable lecture chairs and study rooms.

It was the first Tuesday back from Spring Break when he found out you were going to be in a practice room alone for a while, working on a new project. This intel had been courtesy of one Han Jisung, who had been texting Sunwoo off and on about a track he had been mixing with Chan.

han !!: yeah just left cuz my brain was feelin super fried 🤣 dunno how ynies still there

sunwoo's phone: oh fr?? she's still over there?

han !!: yuh bro that's what i just said

han !!: r u gonna do anything abt it 👀😳

sunwoo's phone: i have no clue what ur talking abt

han !!: okay bye chicken

sunwoo's phone: u did not just call me chicken.

han !!: 🐓🐓🐓

Sunwoo walked out of his room and stood in the middle of the apartment, staring blankly at the back of Eric's head. His roommate was seated on the couch setting up a movie, and when he sensed someone was staring at him, he began to say, "Baby!—wait a minute."

Eric made a face. "Never mind, it's just you."

Sunwoo scoffed and flopped onto the opposite end of the couch. "Rude! Before EC!Yn, I used to be your one and only."

"That's actually so incorrect—"

"Do you boys ever not cat-fight?" EC!Yn mused as she came out from the bathroom and found a seat between Eric and Sunwoo. Eric instantly curled an arm around her and pulled her into his side.

Sunwoo considered this with a frown. Why was he so single? "You're lucky I tolerate your boyfriend, EC!Yn," said Sunwoo as he folded his arms over his chest and sunk into the shadows of his hoodie.

"I'm glad you've come to like me more than your own best friend," she drawled in jest. "What's got you in the dumps, my friend?"

Eric perked up, pressing the play button on the TV remote to start the movie. "Oh yeah! You were in such a good mood this morning."

A grumble from the lump of hoodie. "It's nothing."

A moment of silence passed. Then, "He misses Yn."

"I think so, too."

"Do you think if we texted her to text him, he would at least smile?"

"Oh, I think I found her Instagram the other day—"

Sunwoo peered out of his hoodie with narrowed eyes. "I can hear you guys, you know that, right?"

Both Eric and his partner shot him impish grins, delighted that their very obvious conversation brought him out of silence. The thought forced a smile onto Sunwoo's face anyway. Eric's baseball game had been canceled today because the team who they were going up against this week had internal problems (something about an affair between coaches and players—it was complicated). Thus, Eric had decided to fill his afternoon with an impromptu movie session with his girlfriend. Sunwoo was invited by roommate obligation.

There were definitely more productive things that Sunwoo could have been doing (finding a minor, finding a job, finding the answers to his cognitive psych homework, etcetera), but watching… Wait, what were they even watching?

EC!Yn reached over and nudged his shoulder with her knuckles. "Hey, Earth to Kim Sunwoo."

He shook out of his daze. "Huh? Oh, sorry." He sighed, pulling out his phone. "Jisung just told me that Yn's at the practice room working still."

"Still?"

"Yeah," he bobbed his head. "They've been there ever since they finished their composition class this morning."

Eric lowered the volume on the TV. "Dude, you should go keep her company."

Sunwoo's eyes shot open as he began mindlessly scrolling through Instagram. "I don’t wanna bother her; she probably doesn’t wanna be bothered if she’s been working for so long.” The thought had crossed his mind to head over to the practice rooms right now and sit in for a session, but he had shut his own idea down almost immediately. Would you appreciate him going to bug you or would you mind him just going to sit with you and enjoy your presence?

“I was thinking the exact opposite,” said EC!Yn, “I mean, whenever Eric comes over unannounced to come sit with me at the dorm, I appreciate it all the time.”

Eric cooed. “Aw, you do?”

Sunwoo blinked and was suddenly glad he was staring down at his phone and not the couple on the couch next to him. But he glanced up to catch EC!Yn’s eyes. “Do you really think she wouldn’t mind?”

When Eric tucked his face into her neck, she idly scratched his head. “Oh, definitely. I think it’ll be a nice surprise, considering she probably feels the same about you, based on what you’ve already told us.”

“You’re right!” Sunwoo shot up off the couch, but halted. “Wait, she what?”

Eric snorted. “She said that Yn probably feels the same about you, which, if I’m being honest, I can’t believe—”

Sunwoo dashed into his room to grab his wallet and keys. “Nobody asked you!”

— ✶

Coffee. You liked coffee, right?

Sunwoo couldn't quite think straight with the giddy anticipation bubbling in his stomach and up his chest as he balanced twin cups of iced americano in his hands. Taking the bus to the School of Music would have been less effort on his legs, but waiting for it simply did not sit with the amount of energy currently carrying him down the street and up the stairs and across the quad like a madman.

People were probably eyeing him weirdly, but he was trying to come up with things to say to you. Preferably, these things were smooth and not strange fragments that weren't properly strung together. He wanted to look put together, to sound put together.

He was probably going to look frazzled, though, from half-running a mile uphill, but that was okay—he was excited to see you.

The School of Music stood right across from the School of Art building, the twin towers looming above the quad stairs. With school back in session, there were plenty of people milling about the entrance, and somebody graciously opened the door for Sunwoo so he didn't have to awkwardly balance his coffees and risk spilling them to get inside. He hadn't often visited this building, but he had been in here before to visit friends and upperclassmen. Though the architecture was grander, it still had the homey feeling of a high school band room, some place music students could call home.

Sunwoo navigated himself toward the practice rooms in the back hallways, murmuring "excuse me"s and apologies as he sidestepped string bassists and bassoons and snare drums. (He could've sworn there was a whole drum kit in one of these; it was strange seeing someone carrying around a single snare… huh.)

He reached the corridor to turn right into the practice hall when he froze, diving back behind the wall.

"—wait, Yangyang—"

Something in him sunk deep into the pit of his stomach, an anchor to the sea floor. He watched you launch out of your practice room and into Yangyang's arms, both of you hugging each other closely. He had his arms wrapped around you and his cheek against the crown of your head.

Sunwoo couldn't hear what you were saying to each other—if you were saying anything at all.

And you didn't let go. Not yet, at least.

When you did finally let go, the two of you were beaming at each other. It was near impossible to make out what kind of emotion was there from so far away, but Sunwoo couldn't look anymore when Yangyang leaned in towards you—

Sunwoo pressed himself against the wall he was peering around.

Oh.

He struggled to swallow; there was a large lump sitting in his throat that he had to wrestle down.

Disappointment—yeah, that was disappointment.

Before you or Yangyang could come down this way, Sunwoo retraced his steps from where he came until he was back outside. He sucked in a breath, mind abuzz.

He set down the cups of iced coffee, now perspiring, on a ledge nearby, so he could pull out his phone.

It rang twice. "Yo."

"Are you practicing right now?" Sunwoo asked, leaning his body against the railing. His free hand held his face as his brain replayed the events he had just witnessed. Did that mean what he thought he meant? You were totally allowed to see other people—the two of you weren't exclusive—but goddamn, did that hurt to think about.

Was he too late? Had he chickened out so long that you decided to move on, or was he never in the running in the first place?

He heard a bit of shuffling from the other side, then a sigh from Changmin. "Now I'm not. What's up?"

"I'm coming over."

A pause. "...Okay, see you soon."

EPISODE NINE: [YELLS.]

THERE was something different in the air and you could taste it. Not literally, of course, but you figured your paranoia had manifested strong enough within you to be able to sniff these kinds of things out. "These things" referred to the slight difference in the way you interacted with Sunwoo, or rather, how Sunwoo interacted with you.

You turned your phone off again, having checked it for what felt like the fifth time in the past two minutes. Usually, he replied relatively fast, but for the past week or so, he'd been a little more delayed. He didn't text dry, which was a relief, but there was something off about it. You couldn't articulate it too well—it was just a gut feeling.

"Oy, phone away, Yn," Sieun ordered, snapping her fingers and holding her hand out across the table.

You sent her a look, but reluctantly handed your phone over to her. "But—"

"No buts!" She tutted. She hid your phone within the confines of her purse before promptly returning to the warm bowl of biang biang noodles in front of her. "The more you check your phone, the sadder of a sap you look."

"Thanks," you deadpanned, but followed her lead and picked up your chopsticks to eat your food.

The two of you were seated in, arguably, the best Chinese restaurant on the Avenue. It had become a fast favorite of yours when you first transferred, saved for the long days and weeks when you needed something like spice to make you feel anything other than sad. Sieun had suggested coming down here for dinner rather than staying in and eating another round of instant ramen. It was something she knew would cheer you up easily, and so far, it was only half working.

You reached for your water, only to realize it was practically empty.

As if she could read your mind, the waitress taking care of your table appeared at your side and filled your water up for you.

"Oh, thank you!" Your eyes glanced over at her name tag—HN!Yn—and met her kind eyes.

"Of course. Anything else I can get you two?" She asked cheerily, swiftly filling up Sieun's cup, as well, with practiced grace. "Food's good?"

Both you and Sieun nodded your heads vigorously, especially since both of your mouths were now full and you couldn't speak. She seemed to get the idea and hustled over to a nearby table to tend to them. How waiters and waitresses always knew when you had food in your mouth, you could never figure out. It was always absolutely awful timing, but you supposed the skill was akin to Starbucks workers butchering name spellings.

When you finally swallowed your bite, you chased it with a gulp of water. "I don't think I did anything wrong," you said to your friend, pushing around the saucy rice in your bowl with the tips of your chopsticks.

Sieun covered her mouth. "I don't think so either," she replied, eyebrows furrowed. "Maybe he's just busy? It could be that he got a job or something, or school work is piling up."

You frowned. You thought he would have let you know he was going to be a bit busier, but at the same time, he didn't owe you anything. You just worried about him and hoped he wasn't overworking himself. It didn't help that you missed hanging out with him; it didn't feel like it used to between you just last week.

From behind you, you heard the door to the restaurant open and close with a loud smack! The door to the restaurant was awfully loud when it closed, unless it was carefully done. Something about the angle at which it was constructed, or something like that.

Sieun's brows flew up. "Speak of the devil," she muttered with her food pushed into her cheek.

"Hm?" You hummed and twisted around in your seat to see who she was referring to.

Oh. Well, she definitely wasn't wrong, per se.

Coming in through the door himself was Kim Sunwoo, as well as a few of his own friends, you guessed. You recognized one of them as Ji Changmin, one of the dancers from the winter showcase. Besides those two, there were four others, too—three other boys and a girl. You didn't recognize any of them, but you saw the way your waitress greeted them and squeezed one of the boys' hands.

You and Sunwoo made eye contact, and you shot him a small smile, lifting your fingers in a wave.

He seemed surprised to see you, and you didn't fault him for that. His wave was slight and smile shy, but you couldn't figure out why he ducked his head and didn't come by and say hi.

They're being seated for dinner, Yn. It's okay. Chill a little.

You turned back in your seat to face Sieun and your food again.

"Hey, cheer up, girl." Sieun's smile was sympathetic as she caught your attention. You hadn't even noticed how your posture noticeably slumped after that interaction—if one could even call it that. "Don't let this ruin your dinner, okay?"

You sighed out of your nose, testing your chopsticks over the rim of your bowl. "You're right. I don't know, Eun. It feels like we regressed? Is he avoiding me? Am I overthinking this?"

"I'm not sure, hon," she told you. "It'll be okay, though. I promise. Are you ready for the check?"

You nodded, reaching for your napkin to wipe your mouth.

Sieun lifted her hand and caught your waitress's attention, then made a motion for the bill. HN!Yn was quick to bring it over and set the little black tray with the receipt onto the edge of your table. In her hands she held a small device to input your method of payment.

"Are we splitting the bill today, ladies?" She asked you, eyes flickering between you both.

"Yeah, evenly split would be great, please," you told her.

Sieun leaned over to peer at the receipt as you reached into your bag to grab your card. Her face contorted into confusion, and she ran her finger over a line as if reading over it again carefully. "Oh, uhm, excuse me. It says we get a discount—not that I'm complaining! But…"

HN!Yn smiled. "Ah, you're friends with Sunwoo, right? That's what he told me, at least. I always give my partner and his friends my Friends & Family discount, so don't worry about it. I appreciate your integrity though."

You and Sieun exchanged wide-eyed glances, blinking, then turned to peer over at where Sunwoo's friend group sat. One of the boys sitting next to him whacked his arm to get his attention, nodding toward your table.

Sunwoo looked up.

Your head tilted to the side and you mouthed a "thank you?" to him, unsure of why he went out of his way to help you out.

He only nodded before ducking his head again. Huh. You'd have to thank him properly later.

HN!Yn was quick to help you and Sieun box your meals and finish paying. Before long, you tucked your arm around Sieun's to push out into the cool evening—not without glancing back at Sunwoo's table first.

— ✶

"She looks sad. Why is she sad?" Sunwoo sulked, lying atop his folded arms on the table and staring at you through the space between Haknyeon and JC!Yn.

You were the last person he thought he'd see when he and his friends walked into Haknyeon's favorite Chinese restaurant. You and your friend were pretty much wrapping up dinner when they'd come in, and he was quite literally startled by your presence. He'd been walking around on eggshells, he felt, all because of this stupid situation he'd forced himself into.

It was stupid. Yeah… it was stupid.

Changmin delivered a light whack to the back of Sunwoo's head. "You're dumb."

Sunwoo sat up and cupped the back of his head, leveling a glare at his friend. "Hello?"

"He's not exactly wrong," said Chanhee from the other side of him as he texted someone on his phone.

Sunwoo pressed his lips together and looked across the table from him at JC!Yn in a silent cry for help. The woman could only lift her shoulders half-heartedly. That meant that she agreed with them… great.

Eric snapped his wooden chopsticks apart and began using either stick to smooth the other for splinters. "We're saying you're dumb because you're doing this to yourself and to her unnecessarily."

Sunwoo huffed. "That's because you guys weren't there to see it happen! They're totally together—or at least, close." It still felt awful to think about. It felt like there was a hole in his chest left empty after considering the possibility that he was too late. He didn't want to get hurt.

"You can still talk to her like you used to, Sunwoo-ah," Haknyeon chimed in. "Even if they were—and I'm not saying they are—together, there's still a healthy amount of space where you can dwell as her friend."

HN!Yn appeared at the head of the table with a tray of water, and everyone pitched in to pass the cups down. "Thanks, guys," she said, tucking the tray under her arm. "Are you guys ready to order?" The question was directed towards the rest of the table, but Sunwoo saw the way her eyes lingered on Haknyeon and how Haknyeon's smile shifted to something that Sunwoo was sure was only for her.

It made him feel strange again.

The group, as usual, trusted Haknyeon's choices in dishes and let him take the reins in deciding what they ate tonight. Once HN!Yn had headed off into the kitchen to deliver their order, conversation resumed swiftly.

"I think you're just scared, Sunwoo," JC!Yn said to him over the rim of her glass of water.

Murmurs of agreement resounded from all around the table. Sunwoo's jaw fell open. "I—I am not scared. What would I be scared of?"

"The truth! Oooh," Eric pursed his lips and wiggled his fingers in Sunwoo's direction.

Sunwoo promptly smacked Eric's hand away.

"If you weren't scared of the truth," said Haknyeon, as he propped his elbows onto the table, "you would have gone up to her in that hallway."

"Didn't she tell you that she didn't see Yangyang that way anyways?" Chanhee chimed in. He was still going at it texting whoever it was on his phone.

"But she also said she wanted to give it a second chance," Sunwoo corrected.

Changmin scratched behind his ear and grabbed sauce trays from the end of the table to pass down to everyone else. "That was before she started hanging out with you some more. What is your point?"

They all made excellent points, he thought. That afternoon he'd seen you and Yangyang, he'd gone to meet Changmin in one of the dance practice rooms. After that, he'd gone home to yell into his pillow until his throat burned. Eric had muttered something about Sunwoo being dramatic and summoned JC!Yn over to the apartment to deal with him.

Sunwoo had just been bummed. He didn't even know if bummed was a strong enough word.

"I'm just scared of getting hurt, I guess," he finally admitted, meekly.

The table quieted to allow him room to speak his mind, and even Chanhee put his phone away to give him his full attention now. It wasn't often Sunwoo wore his heart on his sleeve like this, and it wasn't easy either. For anyone. Admitting to his fears in the middle of a Chinese restaurant while five of one's friends listened in was intimidating, but it was comforting to know that these friends he kept would find a way to support him. Even if he was being stupid, their tough love was out of desire to look out for him.

When he was done, Changmin clasped a warm hand on his shoulder and his dimple pressed into his cheek. "Sunwoo-yah, I think that you second guess yourself too much and you know that. You're self aware enough to know that you make the mistake of not going for what or who you want."

Sunwoo stared at an impurity in the table. What Changmin was saying hit the nail on the head—it was what happened with the dance showcase, too, and now he was about to let it ruin a friendship he had with a person he cared very much about.

"My advice," Changmin continued, "is to talk to her about what you saw and clarify it. I know it's… I know it's scary thinking you're gonna get hurt again, but I think you'll feel a lot better afterward."

EPISODE TEN: SUPERSTAR, I'M NOT TOO FAR

your phone: hey thanks for the fnf discount last night! sorry i didn't thank u properly before, but yeah, really appreciate it :')

sunshine (sunwoo): it was no problem, dw abt it!

your phone: btw is everything okay? u seem a bit distant lately and i wanted to make sure u were doing alright

sunshine (sunwoo): ah yeah, im sorry :( there's just been some things on my mind

You shot Sunwoo a quick text back to let him know you were here if he wanted anyone to talk to. His text had just come in after you'd sent him a reply in the early evening.

"Yn-ah. Still on your phone, I see?"

You jolted and shoved your device into the pocket of your jeans, smiling sheepishly as Lee Jihoon power-walked into the backstage area with a pen behind his ear and a clipboard in hand. "Hi, Jihoon!" You squeaked.

He lifted his eyebrows at you, motioning for you to come follow him. Since everyone was back from Spring Break, the work for the play being performed was kicked into high gear. Jihoon was a graduate student at the university and a director of the stage here; adding the fact that he majored in the same thing you did also made him one of your favorite mentors ever. The back hallways were bustling with costumes, props and other assorted technicians while most of the actors were either in the main backstage area or onstage proper with the play director, HJ!Yn.

You followed swiftly after him and weaved through the people littered about the corridors. "I finished synching the panel back here with the projector in the box," you told him, "though, it's weird that it was ever undone in the first place." You frowned. There had been a lot of strange things happening in the theater lately.

Jihoon gave you a curt nod and set you up in front of one of the house lights panels located in the hallway leading right out to the audience. He pointed at it with the back of his pen. "Yeah, some funky shit's been happening around here," he sighed. "You were here the other night when the speakers were acting weird, right?"

You nodded and let him guide you through navigating this backup panel. "I was. You and Chan seemed really stressed."

"We were," he said, adjusting his cap. "We really do need some more funding to update our equipment—careful, that knob is really sensitive. Good, nice work."

Once you and Jihoon had successfully finished with this panel, you lingered in the hallway for a moment. Normally, you would switch back and forth between shadowing either Chan or Jihoon, and tonight was with the latter. He was going through a couple forms on his clipboard—he must have been reading through them while working tonight.

"You seem distracted tonight, Yn-ie," he said. "Is everything okay?"

Despite being one of the busiest and hardest workers here, Jihoon was also one of the most observant, still. You leaned against the wall next to him, toeing at the floor. "Boys are stupid, right?"

Without hesitation or looking up from his clipboard, he replied, "As a boy, I can confirm."

That made you sputter out a laugh, and you saw him glance up and flash you a smile. When you couldn't find something else to say, he went forth. "I don't know the whole situation, and you don't have to tell me anything. But we guys are a little—" he made a gesture with his hands and wrinkled his nose, "—blind. You probably know that already, but dudes are dumbasses, and sometimes when feelings get in the way, they want to run for the hills.

"But if you think he's worth it, then reach out and be forward with him. And if he cares about you, he'll reach out and be honest," he finished. He let you settle with that thought, let it marinate in your brain to give you something to think about. (As if you didn't have a lot to think about already.)

You pressed your lips together with a slow nod. "Thanks Jihoon."

"Anytime, Yn-ie." He nodded back toward the direction you both had come from. "Let's go back that way, yeah? We've got some more housekeeping to take care of."

— ✶

Sunwoo was in trouble.

"...I thought I'd recommend a song that's been on my mind. I've actually been listening to quite a few Taylor Swift songs recently, especially since she's re-recording all her albums! So here's 'Superstar' from Fearless, Taylor's Version."

He had put your most recent podcast episode on full volume while he made himself dinner. It had been a long day today, and so his automatic thought was to listen to you. But now that he was getting into the meat of the episode, he was quickly coming to realize how much trouble he was in. You were playing the song, and it was a direct call out to him to wake the fuck up.

As the song faded to a close, your voice came back on.

"Actually, I was recommended the song by someone I know," you said in the mellow tone you'd been in for the entire episode so far. "I guess I'm just confused and I was wondering if they really meant what they said."

Sunwoo nearly dropped the egg in his hand onto the kitchen floor. Guilt swirled around in the bubbles of the soup in the pot and he frowned down at the rich, creamy liquid.

He sighed, tapping the egg against the counter and cracking its innards into the pot. "Of course, I really meant it," he said as if you could hear him. He wished he had the guts to tell you everything that was going on in his head… As his soup boiled away, he leaned against the empty counter to wait, cradling his head in his hands, groaning. "You're being unfair, Sunwoo."

"...This one's from Peony! They say: almost didn't realize Rhaps Anon wasn't in the last episode until the very end when we hadn't gotten a rec from them. Hope they're doing okay!" Ah, so you weren't the only one who noticed his brief absence. Your sigh filled the apartment, though, he heard the way you tried to force some kind of cheeriness into it. "Yeah, I hope they're doing okay too. But Rhaps'll be back! Let's all wish them well. Fighting!—"

Oh, man. Now he felt even worse.

He really needed to talk to you. Oh god, he really needed to talk to you. If not to confess, then to clear the air and assure you that all was okay on his end. He was just being a coward, and he knew that well enough now.

When his dinner had finished, Sunwoo turned the flame off and headed for his phone on the opposite counter. He lowered the volume as he went in and pulled up his text thread with you.

sunwoo's phone: hey,, i know ur probs busy w the play this week, but is there a possibility for me to see you sometime soon? i wanted to talk to u abt something

He gnawed on his bottom lip as he awaited your answer, until he realized you were probably working. That made him drop his phone and return to his dinner—maybe he just needed to not look, so his anxiety wasn't so high—

His phone buzzed and he bolted back over.

superstar 💫: i think i'll prob have some time saturday morning

EPISODE ELEVEN: [SOMEONE'S LOOKING OUT FOR YOU, LOSERS.]

YOU asked Sunwoo if he'd like to tag along with you as you did some grocery shopping before rehearsal on Saturday morning. His answer had been automatic, and you both agreed to meet each other at the bus stop to ride down to the larger supermarket down the hill together. Even as you stood at the corner of your street waiting for him beneath the overhang, you were trying to come up with possible things he was going to say to you. You had figured, when he’d texted you Wednesday night, that perhaps the best way to go about this would be to make this casual. Hence, why you were forcing yourself to go grocery shopping a day earlier than you usually did.

Casual, in this case, called for “you don’t have stare me in the eyes the entire time,” and to be frank, you were a little too nervous for that kind of setting anyway.

You tugged the edges of your cardigan over you as you heard your name being called from the opposing street. Sunwoo was bounding his way over to you with his arm raised in greeting. You returned the gesture with a soft smile. “Hey.”

He stopped by you, shoving his hands into the pockets of his gray jacket. “Hi,” he said, licking his lips. “Thanks for agreeing to meet with me.”

The bus slowed to a halt in front of your stop, and the two of you retrieved your transportation cards to board. “You say that like I wouldn’t have agreed,” you chuckled and tapped your card, Sunwoo following suit.

The two of you managed to find a pair of empty seats near the second half of the vehicle where the exit was for an easy departure when you reached the foot of the hill. But for now, you tucked your bag onto your lap and settled into the window seat, while Sunwoo occupied the one next to you.

You turned your head to gaze out the window and watch the world blur by as you did. The Avenue streets were a tad narrower than most around the university, so the bus traveled as efficiently as it could from stop to stop before turning the block to make its descent. It was technically still morning, and though it was spring, the sky had decided to blanket the sunshine with gray clouds to form an atmosphere that reminded you distinctly of the past winter quarter. Except, instead of thin, empty branches, the streets and walkways were encased in darkening green leaves and falling pink petals, a nod to the short-lived cherry blossom season. From the corner of your eye, you saw Sunwoo’s foot start to tap against the ground like Thumper the Rabbit, and you wondered for the millionth time what was going on in that pretty head of his.

“I don’t really understand,” you found yourself saying—his head swiveled—and you turned to look at him, “did I do something wrong?”

Sunwoo stammered, "What? No, it wasn't you! It wasn't your fault at all—I was just—" he sighed, grimacing to himself. "I was just being stupid. And I know that sounds super vague, but the short answer is that I was being stupid and scared and insecure."

Your brows furrowed and you felt the bus come to a gentle stop at the foot of the hill. "Scared and insecure? What's going on; is everything okay?"

You both got up to make a quick exit off the bus and began making the short walk from the bus station into the outdoor shopping center.

There was a jittery bounce to Sunwoo's steps as well as a tension in his shoulders. "Last week," he began, "Jisung told me that he'd just left you at the practice room and that you were probably going to be there awhile."

You nodded, grabbing a basket at the front of the grocery store. That rang a bell for sure. It had been a very long day in the practice room, so you weren't quite sure what direction this was going in yet.

"Well, I wanted to go surprise you and come hang out with you. You know, like, to keep you company." He started scouring the opposite shelf to you in the dried foods aisle, his eyes nervously darting from the BUY ONE, GET ONE pasta noodles deal signs, to your person. "And when I got there, I saw you and Yangyang."

Me and Yangyang…? Oh, me and Yangyang.

It was like a lightbulb went off in your head, and you stopped pretending to look at the overpriced vermicelli noodles on the shelf behind you.

"And you guys were hugging and close and stuff—and by all means! I—I have no problem with that, of course," he added quickly, "I mean, you guys are really close… friends? And I just saw him lean toward you and left because I… I got the message." The latter portion was delivered in a defeated tone as he looked on toward you helplessly and sorrowfully. It was how Sieun described you Tuesday night when you'd seen Sunwoo at the restaurant: a sad sap.

You both stopped moving down the aisle to face each other. In the white, fluorescent supermarket lights, his hair hung in his eyes like his head in embarrassment. You were going to let him finish.

He cupped the back of his head, suddenly feeling so bare before you despite not being physically naked at all. "I thought some space might distinguish or extinguish my feelings for you," he continued, nose wrinkling and lip curling in a wince. "Clearly it didn't help, and I think overall, I realized I wasn't being fair to you—as a friend. And that I was also being the biggest fucking loser ever."

Wait, you were still reeling from the mentions about feelings—

Before you could even address the aforementioned, you had to make something clear first. You felt the corners of your lips lift. "Sunwoo, me and Yangyang really are just friends." At the confused, puppy-dog look in his eyes, you explained further, "That day, Yangyang came by and I made it clear to him that I just saw him as a friend. I felt really awful for feeling like I'd led him on and was going to lose his friendship."

Sunwoo's mouth opened, then closed, then opened again, and he struggled to come up with the response he wanted. "So… so when he was leaning in toward you…"

"He leaned in and flicked my nose, then almost gave me a nosebleed," you chuckled. You'd given him a very appropriate flick to the forehead after that.

His eyes widened at that. "Well shit. Are you okay?" He asked, and you saw his smile slowly begin to make its appearance, the sun peeking through an overcast sky.

"Yeah, perfectly fine," you dismissed with a flick of your hand. "Especially now. But yeah, we're just friends."

There was a surge of relief in his tense shoulders. "Oh, okay."

He trailed after you as you continued to make your way down this aisle in particular to pick up the things that were on your shopping list.

At one point, he coughed, handing you the jar of red peppers you were reaching for. "So no hard feelings, right? I promise it will be totally back to normal!"

"Normal, as in back to before?"

He nodded eagerly. "Yeah! To be honest, Dovey, I was just kind of scared that I had lost my chance after waiting so long. I don't know. And I realized that I was just scared to face that fact."

You gauged his reaction and your own heart thundered in your chest. "Scared to face the fact that you'd lost your chance with me?"

"Well, yeah. I—" He stopped and froze like a deer in headlights. And in any other circumstance, you would have been laughing, but he seemed so distraught by what he just admitted to that you tried hard to suppress your amusement. Tried. "I just said that aloud, huh."

Nodding, you grinned fondly. "You did."

He smiled, cute and flustered, cheeks tinted pink. "You're always too easy a person to talk to," he muttered.

"I'll take that as a compliment."

"I would've said something sooner…" He began.

Something jumped to attention in your brain. Oh no. "Was I giving you mixed signals?" You pursed your lips like you'd just gotten into something sour. "'Cause I swore I thought my attraction to you was clear. And, like, the thing where I totally began rethinking my thoughts about Yangyang when you came into the picture—"

"Wow, so Changmin was right?" Sunwoo made a face, holding his hand against his forehead. "That's crazy."

"Crazy good or…?"

He chuckled, and you couldn't help but admire the twinkle in his eyes as he did. "Crazy so good."

"I don't think people actually say that."

He whined, "Yah, you can't already be clowning me. Not when I just confessed that I like you."

That made you sober up, but you couldn't say the same for your heart rate. Man, your BPM alone could probably power a bullet train… "I like you, too. I hope that's clear."

There you two stood in the middle of the dried foods aisle with twin smiles glowing on your faces, soft and shared. You didn't know what the BOGO pasta was doing, but it was definitely adding to the atmosphere. You had intended for running errands to distract you from whatever Sunwoo had wanted to talk to you about, but clearly that was not the case—it would have never worked like that. You would be damned to have missed something like this. Not with him.

Perhaps he had made a mistake—he was now apologizing and clarifying and trying. You could hear Jihoon's words of wisdom ring loud and clear in your head. There was something perfectly fine about how this turned out.

"No more mixed signals?"

"No more mixed signals," he agreed.

— ✶

The remainder of your errand run with Sunwoo had gone smoothly, and soon, you were both seated side by side once more on the bus up to the University District. Sunwoo had gotten a couple things for his fridge, too, and so you both sat with your grocery bags by each other and your fingers grazing the other. Ever since you had clarified your position with Sunwoo a little over an hour ago, you had been feeling much lighter, your heart skipping for a different reason. You were back to feeling the giddy excitement you always had around him, and especially since you knew he saw you in exactly the same way.

The two of you shared a laugh as you stepped off the bus and onto your block, grocery bags in hand.

“—I’m being completely serious! Apparently I was just snot-nosed wailing into her shirt about being single and forever alone,” Sunwoo guffawed, grinning wide at you as you both stopped to the side of the walkway. “And Eric was pissed, oh my god.”

“I mean, you just kiss-blocked him; kind of understandable,” you mused.

Sunwoo sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Aye, I know. He’s a good guy though. Total loser, but a good loser. He made me hangover soup the next day.”

You let out a laugh, walking slowly with him down toward the entrance of your apartment complex. "That was sweet of him."

He snorted, "A little out of character, but yeah."

"You know," you piped up, "when I was applying and eventually interviewing for the position with Chan and Jihoon, I had no idea what either of them looked like. So I accidentally—woah, shi—"

Somebody coming down the sidewalk toward you crashed into your shoulder and sent you careening toward the sidewalk. Sunwoo swore as you let out a squeak—his arm looping around your waist and hauling you against him to steady you.

He lifted his head in the direction of the person with a glower on his face. "Hey! Dude, watch where you're going!"

"Thanks," you said sheepishly.

He turned to fix you with a smile, and you saw the moment he realized the position you were both in: you pressed firmly up against the side of his body, his arm wrapped around you, your faces so close to one another… He released his hold on you, neck burning as he cupped the back of it. "Heh, yeah. It's no problem. People should just really watch where they're going."

You coughed and nodded your head. "Yeah, for sure."

The pair of you were now in front of your apartment complex once more, reluctant to say goodbye. You wondered if he would ask to spend more time with you, but you had a feeling that he wouldn't want to intrude on your time any longer. It wasn't like he was intruding to you, but it was just a feeling you had about him. He wanted to respect your time.

And, well, you both had groceries to put away.

"So I'll uh, talk to you soon then?" You asked him, holding your grocery bags in front of you.

He peered at you through his lashes. "Definitely."

"This morning turned out way better than I thought it would, to be honest."

"Yeah no, same here," he echoed. "I'm just glad you actually gave me another chance."

You reached over and gave his shoulder a playful punch. "How could I not? I've always believed in you."

That seemed to ignite something inside of him. He jutted his bottom lip out and whined, "Oh my god, you can't just say that! You're so—wah."

You giggled, watching him squirm like he was being jolted by electricity. "Hey man, sometimes you've gotta be straightforward."

"Yeah, I know." He sobered slightly and took a step forward. Your heart clambered around in your chest and rattled your ribcage. There was this look in his eyes that made you glance at his lips—his perfect, plush, pink lips.

You held still, held your whole fucking breath, as he turned his head and kissed your cheek. It was feather-light, barely there, and yet, all the heat in your body seemed to rush to that single spot in a millisecond.

When he pulled away, his voice was soft. "How's that for straightforward?"

EPISODE TWELVE: ONE LOVE SONG CAN'T CONVEY HOW I FEEL FOR YOU, SO HERE'S TWENTY—

SUNWOO imagined that he looked as cartoonish as any man in love could. There had to be hearts in eyes, hearts around his head, hearts on a glittery pink trail that carried him everywhere he went. He giggled to himself as he fished his house keys from his pocket and unlocked the front door to let himself in.

"Oh my god. We've properly lost him."

With a loud, war-like AHHH!, Sunwoo yelped and nearly dropped his groceries, struggling to hold the bags to his chest as he pressed himself against the back of the front door. His apartment filled with high-pitched cackles of delight.

Though his heart was going through about a million cartwheels a second, he managed to force the fear from his eyes as embarrassment flooded his system. He flared his nostrils, frowning and tipping his head against the door. "I hate you guys!"

"You should hate Eric for giving JC!Yn your apartment key," Changmin wheezed, slapping his hands together and rolling around on the living room carpet as he pointed and laughed at Sunwoo's absolute misery. "You should've seen your face!"

Chanhee was on the couch with his legs curled up into his chest as he had his phone out, recording the entire thing. "This one's going in the drunk Sunwoo folder."

"Yah, I'm not even drunk!"

Chanhee shrugged. "It's become your general meme folder now. We should probably rename it."

Sunwoo whipped his head toward JC!Yn, who was seated on the opposite end of the couch with an amused smile on her face. "Noona! Are you just gonna let them bully me like this?"

Her smile widened. "Sorry, Sunwoo, but we didn't think you would miss us completely when you came in."

He let out a loud groan, fragging himself over to the kitchen so he could set the grocery bags on the counter and begin to unload them. "What're you guys doing here anyways? Isn't it Saturday morning? Where's Kei?" He asked, unloading a carton of juice from the bag and slotting it into the fridge.

Kei was JC!Yn's roommate, and the two girls always went on a grocery shopping date every Saturday morning with Changmin and Chanhee. They often made Changmin drive since he had the biggest car, and grocery shopping was an exclusive event that only the four of them were allowed to partake in. Eric, Sunwoo, and even Jacob had expressed distaste at that elitism. One of these days, they were bound to let someone else join… right?

But regardless, that always meant that Saturday mornings were occupied for them. So why were three-quarters of the group currently invading Sunwoo's apartment?

Changmin sat up from his place on the floor and fixed Sunwoo with a grin that made him nervous. "We dropped her off at their place, and we did go shopping this morning, but you'll never guess the curious thing we witnessed while we were there." His giggles sent a doom-like shiver down Sunwoo's spine.

Then it clicked.

Sunwoo abruptly stopped taking dried noodle packages out of the grocery bag. "You're kidding."

A snort from Chanhee. "Oh, you wish."

Sunwoo bashed his head against his sweater-covered palms. "No."

"Yes!" Changmin shrieked.

"I didn't know you guys went to that supermarket!" Sunwoo wailed, throwing his head back toward the ceiling. "You guys saw us?"

JC!Yn rested her chin against her arm as she leaned over the back of the couch to face him. "We heard you, too. I'm glad you decided to own up to your chicken-ness. See? Wasn't so scary after all."

Well, he couldn't exactly agree with that. But he also couldn't disagree with it. He'd been so scared he was about to lose your friendship then for being so insecure for no reason. A simple clarifying question could have saved the both of you so much strife. But the conversation also reaped rewards: your mutual confessions.

He sulked and didn't say anything.

"It was cute though, Sunwoo-ah," said Chanhee with a teasing lilt to his smile.

"And also," Changmin cut in, "what do you mean 'so Changmin was right? That's crazy?!'"

Sunwoo snorted. "Now that, I have nothing to say to."

"So what's the deal now?" JC!Yn asked. "Are you two dating now or…?"

Oh. Another long pause, then— "Oh my god, you didn't ask her out?"

"Hey! Listen!" Sunwoo yelled in an attempt to defend himself.

"We're listening." Chanhee folded his arms over his chest with a less than impressed look on his face. He scoffed. "I can't believe you pull."

"Shut up!"

"He hasn't even asked her out yet—how can he pull?" Changmin quipped back with frenzied gesticulations.

Sunwoo groaned as he flopped over the counter. He couldn't believe he was having such a good morning, and now he was being berated once more for his stupidity. How could he not ask you out? It was right there! The opportunity had presented itself a multitude of times, and yet, why was he still here, dateless?

Then there came the thought of how to go about this. There was a part of him who thought that just asking you was probably fine. But the other part remembered how much he liked you—so texting was simply not an option. It had to have some pizzazz, a bit of oomph, to it.

"We can see the gears turning in your head, Sunwoo," said JC!Yn. "What's on your mind, bub?"

Sunwoo looked up from where he had smattered himself onto the kitchen counter like a pancake. "I have no rizz."

Chanhee coughed. "Well, that's not news."

Sunwoo sent him a scowl. "How should I ask her out? I kind of want it to be special, you know?"

"Hmm." JC!Yn pursed her lips, tapping her chin in thought. "The other day, I was talking to Sangyeon about music or something or other, and he showed me the playlist he'd made his girlfriend—"

"His fake girlfriend," Changmin corrected with a little smirk.

She rolled his eyes. "I'm pretty sure Lee Sangyeon is not sad enough to make fake playlists for his fake girlfriend." It was a known inside joke amongst the friend group that Sangyeon had a "secret girlfriend" stashed away somewhere. A few of them liked to joke that she either didn't actually exist or that he kept her locked in his laundry machine or something. Mostly, though, they just wanted to know if he actually was single or not. What was the point of keeping her a secret anyway?

The slight change in victim brought Sunwoo's mood up. "What about the playlist, noona?"

She blinked, turning her attention back to her original train of thought. "Oh, right. What if you made her one of those cute, romantic playlists?"

The four of them exchanged glances with one another. It was a silent form of communication, one that had one uniform thought running through the wire.

— ✶

You'd received a text from Sunwoo about thirty minutes ago asking if he could stop by your apartment to drop off something of yours. Apparently, in the madness of the checkout aisle at the grocery store, he had accidentally "stolen" one of your cans of chicken noodle soup.

You hadn't bought chicken noodle soup though.

This was why you now anxiously awaited his arrival for the real reason he wanted to stop by. You had literally just seen him about an hour or two ago, but you'd be lying if you said you were happy at the prospect of seeing him again so soon. Your cheek still seared from his kiss.

As if he could read your thoughts, you heard a loud series of knocks at the door.

"Coming!" You called, hustling over from your living space area and over to the door.

After peeking through the peephole, you definitely saw Sunwoo, but what he was holding was nowhere near the likeness of a can of chicken noodle soup.

In a hurry, you ripped the door open, lips parted at the bundle of bright colored blooms in his hands. Sunflowers and carnations and lilies and roses—

He peered out sheepishly from behind the bouquet with his other hand occupied by his open phone. "Hi," he peeped.

"Hey," you exhaled, a grin fighting its way onto your face.

"If I made you a playlist, would you go out with me?"

You blinked, heartbeat rocketing into high gear. "Sunwoo," you started with a disbelieving laugh, "you don't have to—"

His thumb lowered onto a button on his phone. "Whoopsies, already did it."

Right on cue, you heard your phone buzz from your pocket. Curious, you withdrew it and opened the text message from him with a link to a Spotify playlist entitled: "One love song can't convey how I feel for you, so here's twenty."

You could have melted into a puddle of ooey-gooey goodness. "Sunwoo," you lamented, smiling way too wide now.

He beamed back at you. "What do you say?"

You shook your head, throwing your arms around him as he laughed and hugged you back. "You're so cute. Yes, I'll go out with you."

He gave you a little, warm squeeze. "Oh, thank god. I thought I was gonna die from anticipation."

You laughed and smiled into his shoulder. When you pulled away, your hand gently reached for the side of his face. "What if I kissed you right now?"

His eyes widened a smidge. "What if you wha--"

You cut him off and pressed your lips to his briefly, then pulled back.

"Wait, wait. Come back here," he murmured, chasing after you and crushing his mouth against yours. And it was perfect. Everything was perfect. The feel of his lips, the smell of his cologne, the firmness of his shoulders beneath your grip and the perfect pressure as you both sealed the deal with a kiss.

The two of you pulled away at the same time with labored breaths, foreheads meshed together as you caught your breath.

"You're not gonna turn this into a podcast episode, are you?" He asked, voice low and raspy, yet laced in a playful tonic.

You teased him right back. "As long as it doesn't end poorly."

He chuckled, and you could feel the vibrations of his laugh against your lips. "Then I guess I'll just have to make it the best date ever."

"Don't worry," you said with a cheeky hand on his chest, "I believe in you."

With a laugh, he grazed his lips over yours again. "Thanks, superstar."

a/n: hihi!! thanks so much for reading <3 if you enjoyed, i would deeply appreciate a comment, reblog, or an ask to tell me what u thought about it! much love, onto kevin's !!

permanent taglist: @flwoie @vatterie @seomisaho @hqrana @ja4hyvn @tinkerbell460 @kaaimins @hyunjaespresent-deobi @otterly-fey @zzoguri @floatingpluto @winterchimez @ethereal-engene @gyulfriend @polarisjisung @jaehunnyy @shakalakaboomboo @loveliestfelix @sodafy @zhaixiaowen @leaz-kpop-life @amourdsr @pxppxrminty @kqyutie @sseastar-main @kxthleen14 @fluorescentloves @mosviqu @justalildumpling @jaerisdiction @hibernatinghamster @super-btstrash-posts @jundundun @kflixnet

[puffyducks]

DCRC Week #16

Wiggity what's up my fellow book clubbers, today we're taking a look at the ethics of treating artificially made intelligent lifeforms as second class citizens and what the qualifying factors are to determine a being as truly "sentient" and deserving of basic social rights. And by that I mean we're reading PKNA #12: Second Draft which is a comic where nothing bad happens!

This post is LOOONG btw.

okay we're just gonna start off our comic as normal and-

WOAH who's this handsome young devil in his little fancy suit??? What's that? Head of Ducklair Industries?..... yeah sure that makes sense I think.

Everett Ducklair 🤢🤢🤢 get a job stay away from him. Also this is a really nice way of saying you had to stop him from being overtaken by insane homicidal tendencies and putting guns in all his inventions btw

Haha woah what was that. Did the fabric of reality just tear for a second there or did my ADHD meds just kick in. Probably just me.

MASTER Donald???..... I don't even think I can write out the jokes I wanna make here they're too inappropriate for this blog sorry. But also what the fuck.

Uno stop mothering maybe I WANT to get frostbite and lose all my fingers

Not to take a sudden side tangent here but is this supposed to be like, a good thing? Don't the other seasons exist for a reason? I always thought fall and winter were meant to be like a cleansing period, they bring balance to the two other hotter seasons. If it's eternally spring, do some plants just never die? Are animals ALWAYS in the breeding season? Today we're going to overanalyze this one concept in an essay where-

OH MY GOD IT'S ODIN wait nevermind hiii Odin hiiiii. what's lookin good cookin. I mean- shit. fuck. shit.

I'm kind of obsessed with the way Odin is drawn in this comic. His whole body is all wiggly like a bendy straw. His stances go crazy.

gayass

Guys ever since I made that post about Odin's outfits and noticed that he's barefoot here it's been haunting me. Like it might just be a coloring error in this panel but also... why'd he take his shoes off. Also sorry for immediately revealing that it's Odin but um uhh I totally don't know who the OTHER cloaked figure is.

girlll you're giving away the game SHUT YOUR MOUTH

TWO Lylas?!?!?!

I'm loving Donald's shock lmao bro is fucking flabberghasted

This picture is so fucking silly bro. Nooo you can't put Odin in jail, he has such a nice suit on :(

Donald getting offended on Uno's behalf, not knowing that Uno is literally sitting right behind him. SURELY he'll figure it out eventually right.

Omg guys it's Geena!!! Remember Geena? From Portrait of the Young Hero? Anyways she has a gun now

Way to go Donald, you showed her basic empathy for like 2 panels and it gave her an actual sense of self value and NOW she thinks she deserves rights 🙄 she's gonna Detroit Become Human up in this bitch

beaming you with my evil lasers. what if he just fucking fried her brains here I think it would've been funny

Oh that's. probably bad.

ohhhh noooo.....

OOOOHHHH NOOOOOOOOOOOO

Ok so bad news, Geena fucking exploded and her droid rebellion is presumably over. The GOOD news though is that droids are destined to get their rights anyways, just in a less violent manor than in the timeline Geena had started. So... I guess that's a win?

Disappears in a cloud of beautiful sunset smoke... Goodbye Odin 👋

Donald. Please. DONALD.

Okay so there's a LOT to say about this comic (so much that I kept hitting the image limit and having to make edits to my post to make it more concise) but if I could summarize it into one word: damn. Like I'm just kinda sad now.

The whole concept of "do robots deserve to be treated like human beings" is a common argument to explore, we've seen it in all kinds of media before. The ethics that get touched on in this comic are nothing new, but I can't help but find this comic incredibly interesting to read in the year 2024. Maybe in 1997 the idea of robots integrating into our society seemed like a far-off concept, but in present day the ever-growing integration of AI technology really makes this chapter feel a little more close to home.

I mean, it's easy to be like "yeah, well of course the droids deserve to be treated like people." I mean, Lyla and Odin are droids, and we like Lyla and Odin! Odin is literally so lifelike that people don't even KNOW he's a droid. But I can't help but think about how this all ties back to the current ongoing debates surrounding the usage of AI, and specifically AI-made content. Obviously the AI we currently have is nowhere near the level of the characters in this series (chatGPT fucking WISHES it was Uno) but there's really interesting debates to be made here.

What qualifying factors determine whether or not a living being is deserving of the same rights we humans give to ourselves? Is it being biological? I mean, there are literally millions of types of animals on our planet, but we don't even treat them with the same level of respect we give to ourselves. So, is it intelligence? If we were to create a computer with the intelligence level of a living, breathing human person, would they be entitled to basic "human" rights? HELL IF I KNOW.

I love the way this comic handles exploring this topic. Geena isn't WRONG for wanting more, she's wrong in the way she went about it. Going as far as to literally alter the course of spacetime only further complicated things, for her AND for the other droids. Had Geena instead devoted her energy into droid advocacy in the modern day, things may have gone differently. This story isn't the end of droids getting rights, but it is unfortunately the end of Geena.

We ended on a happy note, but overall this story is a pretty melancholic one. Especially that whole "only machines can be rebuilt" like DAMN.

Anyways that's enough media analysis for today, time to take off my smart thinking hat and go back to being generally kinda stupid. I'm not gonna add anything about Angus Tales here at the end because I already hit the image limit lol. Umm shoutout to Angus Fangus for having like 110 parking tickets. Idiot.

[cottoncandytomu]

Just a little Abby Anderson Drabble hehe~

This is a fluffy little thing but as always my account is 18+ so no minors or ageless blogs please!!

I do not own these photos! Only edited them :)

🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸

You couldn’t keep your eyes off of her, the flames from the fire adorned her features making her shine bright in front of you. She stared into the cackling flames as she heated up the fresh rabbit you both just caught.

It didn’t take long for her to catch your eyes lingering on her just a little bit longer than normal. Her brows started to furrow as she questioned your stare.

“What… Is there something on my face?”

“You’re beautiful.” You blurted out.

You laughed loudly, embarrassed at how quickly that came out.

“Yeah, haha no- nothings on your face.” You quickly averted your eyes back to the fire.

Her eyes were wide, she didn’t expect that to come out of your mouth. You two had been close but in a friend way, not a relationship way. Plus you were aware of her past- well current issues with Owen. But it was just a compliment right? One she’s never really heard before…

You looked back up at her, the silence was too much. She looked as if she was deep in thought. You felt concerned, fuck did you say too much?

It came out before you could even think about it, "Has no one ever called you beautiful before?" You ask.

Her wide doe eyes flicked up to yours in an instant. She wasn't expecting you to ask that, yes she was thinking it but she didn't think you were too.

She decided to be honest, "No... never." She replies.

You felt the pinching of anger in your veins. She's been around Owen all this time and he's never said one thing about her beauty? How is that even possible? Every day you're with her all you can think about is how perfect she is in every way.

She feels vulnerable, her eyes cast down to the fire once more.

"People mainly call me anything but that. I'm not exactly the most delicate when it comes to anything really."

You chuckled and she looked back up at you in shock.

"Abby, you don't have to be delicate to be beautiful. Anyone can be beautiful and trust me, you are. A little too much sometimes..." You mumbled the last part hoping she didn't hear it.

But she did, it caused her to slightly smile. Your words affected her in a way she's not entirely used to. It felt good. Too good. She wanted to hear more. She felt a surge of confidence overcome her.

"Well what about me is so beautiful then?" She asks.

As if you couldn't get any hotter and the fire wasn't helping much either. You started to fiddle with your fingers and avoid eye contact as much as possible. She thought it was cute, how nervous you got just by the slightest question.

"Uhm- Uhh, How's that rabbit coming along?"

She roared with laughter at your question and decided to let you get away with it. She definitely planned on asking you again later in the night. For now she'll settle with the compliment you gave her. It wasn't often that she let herself get vulnerable with others but when it came to you she wouldn't mind feeling that way again.

"Almost done, don't worry it's cooking very beautifully~" She teased and you couldn't help the smile that broke out on your face soon after.

~

Just a little drabble for my Abby sluts while I work on so much more! It's been a minute since I posted something and even though this is short I'm glad I was able to finish it! Anyways thank you Beauties~ for reading! Check out my other work while you're here! I got more gay shit coming so stay tuned!!

⛧~

[disappointing-my-kid]

Bowser uses illusion magic to make Luigi see Mario die

This one is for you @xxno-thoughts-just-chaosxx i loved the fanart you did it was fantastic!!! Herez 3500 words as a thanks!

~

Ok im back after finishing the post and uhh it gets dark so tw character death ? Uhhhhhhhh sorry yall i told ya im bad at fluff also thanks @hyperfixatingonbowuigisohard <3 i hope you enjoy and thanks @wickfur and @nagichi-boop for helping me edit and proof reading this bad boi

Bowser had kidnapped the green one to try to weaken Marios advances in reaching his castle as quickly. So far it had been working, that or Mario didn’t care for his brother. He figured it wasn’t that. Mario probably hadn’t even found the note his minions left. Unlike how he kidnaps the princess this one had been more discreet. Greenie had just been at their home and all alone so his minions just quietly nabbed him. That was two days ago though. Finally on the 3rd day someone took notice and reports of the red nuance on his way started to trickle in. Though he wasn’t making much progress.

Which means Bowser spent two days with this annoying green bean in his dungeon. He was no fun at all either. Bowser had tried to mess with him a little but the man wasn’t having any of it. They both knew this was longer for Marios normal rescues but no matter how Bowser spun it Greenie still believed his brother would save him. It was a little admirable how much faith he had in his brother, if not very annoying also. The man just trusted his brother completely. Nothing Bowser tried could convince Greenie otherwise.

That is until Kamek told Bowser of a new magic he finally figured out. Illusion magic. With Mario steadily making his way to the castle so Bowser and Kamek wouldn’t have much time to test out how this magic works to use it on Mario. His brother was the perfect subject for such a test. He quickly called to have the prisoner called to his throne room while he and Kamek planned out what illusion they could try and make.

~~~~ POV switch

Luigi had been here, shackles on his hands for three days, he thinks. Hard to tell a day in the Badlands. But Bowser made that easy by telling him how long it had been. Not sure if he could trust Bowser’s word but it did feel like three days so he just assumed it had been. He hoped his brother was okay. Three days was a bit long for a rescue, though Luigi had expected it to take longer. He was no fool like Bowser seemed to think he was. Captured alone at night from his and his brothers home. No raging fires or sounding of alarms. A kidnapping more akin to his home world than the Mushroom Kingdom. Plus he knew why Mario would take long to notice. He was out taking one of his two day training trips. No one but Luigi and maybe the princess knew about them. And if Luigi was being honest, he knew it probably wasn’t actually for training. His bro needed some time to himself to process some things for a few days before they came to this world, so why would that change. So he knew right from the start Mario would take longer.

Even so, he did wish Mario would pick up the pace once he realized Luigi was missing. The cuffs on the shackles hurt as they dug into his wrists. They hadn’t given him anything since he arrived here. No food. No water. Nothing. He's lucky the cell has a sink in it or else the dehydration would have probably got him. One guard did take pity on his growling stomach the second day and gave him some sort of fruit. He had never seen it before so it must be native to the Badlands. He gratefully accepted, not caring if the fruit was good or not. He trusted that Bowser would want to finish him off himself and he trusted that his minions knew better than to kill him, less they wanted to suffer his wrath. Even if he did wish they would stop visiting to torment him. Still though, the fruit hardly kept his hunger at bay. To top it all off, his mind was having a field day with all the things that could go wrong. His insecurities run rampant. ‘He’s not coming’ his mind whispered. ‘It’s been days no one is coming’ another poured in. It was easier to tell Bowser he trusted his brother. Easier to show how confident he was in Mario saving him. But truly believing it was another thing all together. If Bowser noticed in their “chats” that Luigi was more trying to convince himself than Bowser, then Bowser didn’t show it. With how little Bowser actually looked at Luigi he figured Bowser didn’t notice. After all, Luigi never took Bowser for being horribly cruel. Anger issues sure, but Luigi had seen how Bowser looked at his children. And his brother had told him stories of Bowser helping him with a team up here and there. Plus when the man got frustrated with Luigi's faith in his brother he could tell Bowser was pulling his punches. Though to say they still didn’t hurt would be a lie. His body still aches from his last “chat.” Being thrown to the ground hurt a lot more when you hadn’t eaten much for nearly three days and when the ground was a stone prison floor instead of soft grass, but it really wasn’t helping the situation.

Though Luigi was pulled from rubbing his bruises and thoughts when he heard someone approaching his cell. Luigi had hoped it would be the same guard as before but the amount of footsteps told him that it wasn't. It was some koopas he hadn’t met yet. Some had visited him in his cell to taunt him during his stay. Taunt, tease, yell at, and even one threw a rock but these guards had been some that never visited in such events. No, one of these guards had a chain in its hand and another guard had some keys in theirs. “Great” Luigi sarcastically thought, as he figured its time for more rough handling. “The all Mighty King Koopa has requested your presence, pathetic prisoner.” the one with the keys spoke. Which was new. Clearly Bowser had no problems with coming down to the prison, so why the change to move Luigi? Before he could even ask anything the cell was unlocked and he was rushed. He wasn’t even going to resist but they still grabbed him and harshly pushed him to the wall. Was this amount of force needed? He was weak from lack of food and again not even fighting back. He winced, as he knew one koopas grip was gonna leave bruises. He soon realized something cold was put around his neck, it was clearly a bit too tight on him. And his arm restraints had been exchanged for wrist restraints. Now his hands are bound together by just cuffs. Once released he nearly dropped to the floor, he was able to steady himself for a moment. But then the chain that was attached to the metal collar on his throat was yanked, and he fell forward. “Get moving prisoner.” With a groan and another yank he was on his feet and being led through the castle.

After constantly being harshly yanked along they finally reached the throne room doors. Luigi hardly had time to take in how massive the doors had been before they slowly started to open. Not wanting to fall again Luigi tried his best to keep up with them as they started to bring him into the room. “The prisoner, your Majesty” the one holding his chain said, bowing, as he was once again yanked back to the ground despite his efforts. Slowly he lifted himself to get back to his feet but he froze once his gaze met Bowsers. The anger he sees there couldn't be mistaken for anything else. Luigi gulped down the lump forming in his throat. Maybe leaving the cell wasn't as much a good thing as he had hoped.

~~~~~POV SWITCH

Bowser called for the green prisoner to be brought to the throne room the moment he and Kamek had everything planned out and ready. He could hardly wait to see the Green Beans' faces after what they had for him. Though when he actually saw the state his prisoner was in, and he couldn't stop the anger building up in him. Since when had he given the order for torture? Sure he might have roughed the man up a bit himself, but those had been mostly by accident. His rage just got the better of him, but he didn't remember doing all this. Clearly someone was acting without orders and that alone made him ready to rampage in his own castle. He came back to his senses when Greenie was forced to the floor by his guard pulling on the chain attached to the other’s neck. Which clearly wasn't needed as the man hadn't even tried to resist. That just made Bowser more angry. Though, as he watched the plumber start to raise his head and their eyes met it was clear the other thought he was angry with him. It didn’t sit right with him but he wasn’t about to correct it either. All the better that Greenie is scared. Even if it wasn’t his intention, though he did intend to scare the green one out of his wits with this illusion. Quickly he regained his composure “Leave us.” Bowser demanded maybe a tad too harshly as he watched the prisoner flinch. “I have something to discuss with this prisoner.” A slight smirk graced his face as he again looked to the man in question, who started shrinking in on himself slightly as they once again made eye contact. No time to dwell on that. As the guards left Bowser got up and slowly made his way over to the man on the floor.

~~~ POV switch

Luigi sat on the floor as Bowser headed his way. He started to scramble backwards but was quickly stopped by a large foot stepping on the chain that was still attached to his neck, wincing at the movement. A truly wicked smirk was covering Bowser's face “going somewhere?” Bowser teased. Swallowing his fear, he stammered out “i-i um you know h-have places to be thi-things to do.” Bowser, of course, laughed harshly as he pulled his foot backwards, causing the chain to yank Luigi forwards onto his face. Slowly lifting himself onto his elbows he quickly froze as a clawed finger lifted his chin to meet Bowser's gaze. Time froze for Luigi as he saw nothing but sick mischief in Bowser's gaze. “Now now don’t be in such a rush.” As a large hand left his face and went to his neck to get a hold of the chain. Rising to his feet Bowser yanked Luigi up with him. “No no can't have you leaving so soon.” Bowser laughed as Luigi didn’t even notice the new weight added to the end of the chain. And if Luigi wasn’t concerned for his safety enough “I’ve got big plans for you Greenie, big plans indeed.” Those words filled him with dread.

Before Luigi could even begin to ask, the doors burst open. Both their heads snapping to attention in said direction. There stood Mario. “MARIO!” Luigi called out to his brother and started to move towards him but was pushed back by Bowser. “WHAT?!?? You shouldn’t be here yet!” Bowser roared, moving in front of Luigi into a fighting stance. Mario was also preparing for a fight, though he looked like he had already been in one. He had to of rushed right here after finding their home empty. He was probably tired. “You think you can kidnap my brother and get away with it!” Mario retorted. Then they both charged. Quickly Luigi got to his feet and tried to help his brother only to be stopped by the chain. Pulling with all his might he couldn’t get it to budge one bit. Turning back to the battle for a moment, just in time to see Bowser land a solid punch to his brother's stomach. Sending Mario tumbling across the floor. “NOOOO” Luigi yelled. Panic filling him as he yanked even harder on the chain. But it wouldn't budge an inch.A laugh boomed into the room as Bowser approached Mario’s form. Slowly Mario was trying to get up only to be met with a kick to the gut sending him rolling once again. Tears started to pour down Luigi's face as he watched in horror as his brother struggled to get to his hands on knees. A low chuckle filled the room that sent a chill over Luigi’s body.

 Slowly Bowser stalked towards Mario. Towering over the man “Not so strong now are you?” As he reached down, much to Luigi's horror and picked his brother up by the throat. Mario thrashed in his grasp trying to escape. “STOP IT!” Luigi finally broke out of his trance and yelled. Of course Bowser now fully turned to face him, Mario in hand. “Or what Greenie? Hmm what are you gonna do to stop me?” Luigi's gaze met his brothers and he knew. He would do anything. “Anything! Whatever you want! I'll do it, just please!” His voice breaking as he begged “i’ll do anything please please just spare him.” A low hum resounded from Bowser as he made a show of pretending to think about it. A pit formed in Luigi's stomach as he spoke “As enticing of an offer that is, Greenie “ Luigi's eyes widened in horror as Bowser's grip tightened on his brother's throat. “I think I would rather be rid of this pest than have his useless brother.” The words hit him like a truck and stabbed him to his core as he stood frozen watching his brother's struggles stop and arms fall to his sides. Just above a whisper “n-no” Luigi in disbelief stared at his brother's unmoving form. Bowser laughed once again “Struggling with reality Greenie?” Tossing Mario’s lifeless body in his direction as if it was nothing. Luigi was unable to move as it rolled towards him. His eyes met his brother's lifeless ones. Standing there he stared. It's as if everything else disappears. Just him and his brother.

And then his legs gave out. He fell to his knees. Face twisting in horror. Denial coming into full swing “no.. no it.. m-mario get up. Please you” he his breath hitched “you have ta get up now.” His brothers form unmoving as he slowly tries to crawl over to it. But right before he could reach out and grasp his brother once again he was stopped by this chain. Mario was just out of reach to him in more ways than one. He sat there a moment before finally shouting, “Mario get up! COME ON!” All energy leaving him with the shout “please bro” he sobbed “p-please i i need you please d-don’t leave me all alone.” Tears falling onto the floor “you-you’re all i have please don’t go.” Once more he reached out for his brother's lifeless form. This time though something changed as the chain no longer held him back and slowly he reached out for his brother's shoulder only to have it to start to sparkle away. Slowly light lifted upwards as he watched his brother disappear. He numbly grasped at the pieces that disappeared between his fingers.

~~~~POV switch

Bowser stood motionless as the illusion started. Kamek told him how it worked. All he had to do was stand here and make sure Greenie didn't touch the magic. Once someone touched it then it would fade. So it was a real show for him too watching himself fight Mario. He was quite surprised as Green Beans strength when the man tried to pull the chain. But Bowser still had it securely stuck under his foot. The moment he turned Greenie around was when the magic started. And oh boy what magic it was. He nearly roared out in triumph watching himself win. But that would completely ruin the illusion, having his own roar come from somewhere else. What came next though. He didn't quite like and he struggled to figure out why. Even knowing himself it was an illusion the lifeless body made a chill run up his spine. But he froze upon watching his prisoner's reaction. Unable to react himself as the scene played out in front of him. Gut twisting. Then it hit him. Too far. He’s gone too far. Hearing the man beg for his brother to return to life to him really took Bowser off guard. He stepped back as the shock of the scene washed over him. The moment he did though the plumber finally was able to reach his false brother. The moment he did though the illusion started to fade. Which made something inside him clench as he watched the man reach up to try and grab a piece of his brother's fading form. Forget crossing a line he all but ran past the line and was still going.

He had to do something. Nervously he cleared his throat. “So uh What did you think of our new magic!” He tried to sound proud and confident but it was hard even for him. The plumber didn’t respond. Didn’t move as he just sat there staring upwards where his brother's body faded out at. “Uhhh Greenie?” Gently he reached forward to grasp the man's shoulder. No reaction at all. Turning him around and Bowser pulled his hand back and gasped. The man's face. Eyes just as empty as the false corpse. He didn’t even look at Bowser, or well anything. He just stared forward. Mouth slightly parted with tears still rolling down his face. Oh lord what was Bowser saying about crossing a line. “Hey uh Greenie it was fake! That uh… pathetic brother of yours is still on the way!” Bowser was way out of his depth here “fake?” A soft voice tore him out of his thoughts. Just above a whisper. “Yea totally cool illusion magic!… so um…” what was he to say? All he could focus on was the lifeless eyes. “I-illusion magic?” The man said back. This wasn’t working. “KAMEK!” He called out and quickly the old magikoopa flew down from where he was projecting the illusion. “Quickly! Go find Mario and bring him here. Maybe seeing his brothers annoying and totally full of life face will help.” Kamek didn’t question anything and at once set off. After all he watched the same illusion Bowser had and agreed fully on that they went too far.

Not knowing what to do Bowser did what he could. He gently removed Greenie restraints. Wincing as he saw the damage, though no such reaction came from the man himself. His wrists swollen and scratched but his neck. It was bleeding from either the force Luigi had put on the chain trying to reach his brother or from his own men yanking him around. Either one was horrible enough for Bowser to feel bad. Every so lightly he pulled the man's chin up again, just like before, forcing their hollow gaze to meet his. “Hey it's gonna be alright. Mario is ok. It's gonna be ok”. At that he pulled him into a hug as if he was one of his own children. He didn’t know what else to do. Gently stroking the man's hair and back. Anything he could think of to bring him comfort. Eventually he got a reaction. Though it wasn’t really the one he wanted. As the man began to full on sob into Bowser's embrace. Arms coming up to grasp anything for a life line. Softly he started “shhhh it's ok. It's gonna be ok. He’s ok. It wasn't real.” He did his best to keep reappearing that last line. Hoping it would sink in. Eventually the sobs died down and he could feel the man trembling. Slowly he pulled back and held Greenie by the arms. Looking him right in the eye “I’m sorry, I-I went too far. It wasn't supposed to- It was just- we didn’t think-” Bowser couldn’t figure out the words. Nothing he could say would make this any better. There was no excuse. No justification.   Luckily he was saved by the doors bursting open for real. Mario is standing there just like before, but with Kamek floating behind him. Only this time his face wasn’t of rage or confidence. No, his face was full of worry as he spotted his brother. Kamek must have told him something. Greenie tensed upon seeing his brother. Bowser turned back to him “Go on. He's real” the man's breath hitched “and waiting for you.” At that last line he jumped up and all but smashed into his brother. Grasping for anything and everything. When nothing disappeared and he got a fist full of shirt, only then did he believe it to be real. Only watching them for a moment then turned to face Kamek who nodded in return, who quickly magically set another illusion into place. The only difference was that now the brothers had become alone. Neither wanted to fight the other so Mario helped his brother stand and even though he seemed mad about the injuries the other had he could tell now wasn’t the time. Slowly leading his brother out. Quietly Bowser ordered “Kamek follow them and make sure no one stops them on the way out.” And with that Bowser was left alone with his thoughts. And guilt.

[blackbirdswhispers]

I don’t know how to make this aesthetic like so many others do but have an Astarion blurb fic from the part of my mind that runs wild at night.

Uhh gender neutral Tav, Astarion POV but in 2nd person? some minor spoilers for Act 3, absolutely no editing, one shot, prose filled indulgence, mostly SFW, fluff. I don’t really write fics so hopefully someone out there will enjoy this. If I did any editing it would probably be less ooc but it’s almost 3 so, gnight.

~~~

The night is quiet. The others have long since settled into their various forms of rest. They all rest more or less easier now than they did at the beginning of this journey.

Maybe it’s because they’re not afraid of the things that creep through the night anymore, now that you’ve all made it back to the city. Which is insane, the city is much much worse when it comes to things that creep through the night.

Being in an inn won’t change that. You know better.

Maybe that’s why you aren’t so quiet when you come to take your little blood tithe from Tav. Maybe you’re just testing to see if they’re going to be…safe.

Even that thought sends a shock of lightning anxiety through you. They have to be safe. Now more than ever, you need them. They who have remained on your side, somehow, through everything.

Tav, the one who offers you soft kisses any time so much as a wrinkle creases your brow. The one you actually want to oblige when they do. The one who asks nothing else of you but what you must all do to avoid becoming even more horrific.

You’re nearly staggering into their room, half panicked in the short walk down the hall you’ve taken to see them.

They’re staring at you as if you’ve sprouted a second head, propped up on one elbow and seemingly ready to launch into whatever chaos was charging into their room.

“Astarion…?”

They don’t look any more comfortable as you shut the door behind you. You sigh, frantically trying to think of some way to play off this, this clingy feeling.

The city has shaken you in a way you’d hoped it wouldn’t. But there are so many memories, so many thoughts you’d rather avoid.

When you look back at Tav, they have a guarded look about them. Before you can open your mouth to try and explain anything, they speak again.

“Come to satisfy that depraved carnal lust?” they ask.

The cycle of emotions that hits you like a lash rips any words you were about to speak away from you. You’re so startled you don’t remember to keep your expression controlled. Is that…what they want? But they said…

A deep sigh of relief comes from them.

“Gods, I thought you were Orin for a moment. You’ve never been so clumsy but for that first night,” they say, their usual warm tone returning. They move to sit cross legged on their bed and pat the spot next to them.

“Sorry to worry you, my dear. But I doubt Orin would know what we get up to at night, so it seemed the best way to know you were really you.”

You close your gaping mouth and tilt your head, raising a brow in thought. Maybe they were more aware of the dangers of the city than you’d thought.

“I- well it did make me remember how thick you had me laying it on in the beginning,” you quip, just about managing to keep the tremble out of your voice.

Haltingly you move to sit next to them, perching on the edge of the bed rather than sitting further toward the center. It’s like a paralysis overtakes you. Consumed by the simultaneous desire to wrap yourself around them, while also feeling like your skin might burst if you’re touched.

They sit patiently, waiting for you. When you glance at them out of the corner of your eye you can see they’re facing their own inner turmoil. They’ve never had much of a liar’s face, not when it comes to their emotions. Not like you.

“Don’t feel guilty,” you say. A touch sharply, probably. “I’m glad you even thought to check it was me, honestly.” You drift your hand over to theirs, giving a little squeeze. “This place just, has me on edge.”

They return the gesture, their thumb softly rubbing a circle where it rests against your finger.

“I’m here, you’re here,” they reply.

You’re staring at your hand on theirs. At their supporting you even while you cover their hand to reassure them. There are so many things left unspoken between you. So much unfinished unpleasantness to handle before you can really say anything.

“Can I kiss you?” they ask, a bit hesitant.

You’re still staring at your entwined hands, not really thinking about it.

“Of course,” you reply, not at all connected to what you’re agreeing to.

But as you turn to let them kiss you, they bring your hand to their lips instead. They reverently kiss the bend in each of your fingers, feather light as if they handled spun sugar. Their eyes are all but closed as their lips slowly travel over your fingers.

A form of worship you’ve never experienced in all the years you played the rake.

As they complete their quiet prayer over your hand, you brush your fingers across their cheek. Their eyes still closed, they gently kiss your palm and lean into the touch. A shiver goes through them as you run your thumb over their lips.

They’re so beautiful. And when they open their eyes again, you see only that pure adoration they so often behold you with. There’s no question or expectation lurking behind that gaze.

A smile has curled into your lips, but it twists on one side into a smirk.

“Darling, would you mind terribly if I stayed for a cuddle tonight?” you ask.

They smile, turning into your hand once more to kiss your palm.

“You are always welcome to come and go as you please, dear one.” Their smile goes a bit sheepish. “But I will admit there is rarely a morning that isn’t just a little brighter when yours is the first face I see.”

You scoff dramatically. “Well, am I not just an absolute ray of sunshine?”

They roll their eyes, but still give in to your levity. “Yes, yes, now let’s go to bed.”

They move closer toward the wall, leaving the open side of the bed for you. You’ve noticed they try never to get you pinned between them and something else. So conscious of what might affect you.

And to that same note, they’ve left their neck exposed, gently stretched bare skin in the low light. When you’re finally able to look at them they’re smirking at you, clearly having watched you process their actions.

“Try not to get my blood on the sheets, this place was kind of expensive.”

You laugh, curling up next to them on the admittedly comfortable bed.

“Of course, my love,” you say softly into their neck, just before your fangs sink into their skin.

[youregonnagofaar]

happy ending myth; a steve harrington story

chapter 5. just a little bit of tenderness 

chapter 1 chapter 2 chapter 3 chapter 4

pairing: best friend!eddie munson, close friend!max mayfield, slowburn!steve harrington

a/n: this took a long time to post despite me having it written and edited thanks to me getting a three week sinus infection. i’m going to start releasing these on mondays from now on and i’m still not sure how many chapters this will end up being. i changed my url and have made sure to edit all links so they work properly for everyone wanting to start from the beginning. thanks again for the support and as always i do enjoy feeback ha :) 

summary: steve and you have a conversation about the night of the halloween party, max and you hug it out, the gang visits the creel house, you witness that steve and nancy do still have a tiny spark, robin does her best (as always), you have your first injury, and robin witnesses flirting behind the wheeler window.

warnings: mild violence, curse words, anxiety, an injury near an eye takes place, pls let me know if i missed anything

word count: 6,315

tag list: @evansflowers

Steve held your hand tightly as the both of you braced the chilly air outside. The sudden rush of cold felt wonderful on your body but also made you aware of all the places you were sweating. In embarrassment, you let go of his hand and giggled. “I really wish Max had warned me about how none of us are able to shower when facing these monsters.” Steve looked at you with a grin and nodded his head in agreement. Despite going through this a few times he had never remembered to just bring deodorant with him. However, over the years his smell had gotten worse. Probably due to so many punches to the nose since this, all started. The sun was just about to rise and the grass had frost on the tips. If someone had told you in High School that King Steve would be holding your hand on a morning like this, you’d laugh in their face. 

“Oh, it's been worse than this. Last time it was summer and I had a decent amount of the kids in some random car. Robin and I had just been beaten up by some Russian spies who were pissed we ruined their plans. So it smelt awful for the first few moments until my nose went numb.” Steve hadn’t realized how much he was saying until he saw your face fill with worry. There was so much you didn’t know about their past endeavors despite him feeling like you had been here all along. He placed his hands in his pockets and grinned sheepishly. “Sorry if that was too much.” It still confused him at how easy it was to tell you anything. Even though you looked at him in shock you still weren’t calling him stupid for saying so much at once. The comfort you made him feel scared him to his core. 

“No, no it’s not too much. I just didn’t realize all the things you’d been through. I am now getting the Halloween costume…uhh Risky Business!” You smirked at him big cause you were excited your brain could remember such a small detail of life before The upside down. The joke was also kinda bad since this was clearly more than risky. Thinking of that night made his cheeks warm for all the wrong reasons, but then he saw the face you made and felt a whole other warmth. It then hit him that he wasn’t sure if he had ever seen you at this party. He had eyes for only one person and drank far too much that night. What part of the night had you seen him? How many times had he already embarrassed himself in front of you? 

“Yeah, umm, what part of the night did you end up witnessing?” He was beyond nervous about your answer. Either way, it was probably a weird sight for you. He either only had eyes for Nance or was a total jerk in a terrible mood. 

You began to really think because for you the night wasn’t all that to remember. You left early because you were bored. Eddie had only shown up at the party to sell some drugs and then was ready to head out once the deals had been made. However, you did remember seeing a sad Steve getting a drink at some point in the night. He seemed upset but he looked so pretty and that made no sense to you at all. However, before you could even think of walking towards him, Tommy and Carol appeared. Not wanting to even hear her remarks about your costume you ended up leaving shortly after. “ I saw you getting a drink and looking like the saddest boy in the world.” You gave him a soft smile and shrugged. “Even if I had gotten the guts to walk up to you, it would’ve been horrible to do that in front of Carol.” You shook your head and made a noise of disgust, “She is one person I will never miss.” 

Steve let out a laugh that felt genuine and it scared him for a moment. “Well honestly, I’m glad you didn’t talk to me that night.” 

You took this moment to sit down and pat the frosted grass next to you. Steve took your cue and sat down, his shoulder touching yours, causing a warm tingle to rise in your spine. The whispers of Nancy breaking up with Steve for Johnathan were all around school after that night. It was no secret to all of Hawkins High that this was a huge blow to King Steve. The bruises and cuts on his face days after were further proof that something big had happened. Little did you know that he was fighting his own demons along with real monsters. 

“So umm, who did you dress up as that night?” Steve looked over at you with a smile wanting nothing more than to change the route of this conversation. That night no one understood your costume. Eddie had to cheer you up after he gave you a joint and finally cried about it. The night didn’t mean much to you the way it meant so much to Steve. 

“Oh, I dressed up as Ellen Ripley from Alien, but everyone thought I was just some mechanic.” You shrugged remembering the outfit that Mr. Munson had given you. It was from his old days as a mechanic and it worked perfectly. You had made your own name tag and everything, but the idea was lost on everyone there. 

“Dustin’s mentioned that movie a lot, but I haven’t been able to watch it.” Steve looked over at you and the way his eyes twinkled in the rising sunlight made your heart skip a beat. 

“Well, maybe one day I can show you the movie.” You weren’t sure if a time would ever come when the world would be calm enough to watch a film again, but the idea of showing Steve a favorite movie of your’s made you excited. You wanted so badly to curse your hormones but the way you felt around him covered you with a type of joy you couldn’t explain. 

“I’d really like that.” As he spoke the two of you just smiled a cheesy grin. A calm clouded your senses as the two of you looked into each other's eyes. Both of you were lost in the idea of how this date night would go. 

For Steve, you came out of nowhere. However, you had always known of Steve Harrington. No one who went to Hawkins didn’t know about King Steve. He was the typical pretty boy who was always going to be Prom King. You had found him to be good-looking, but the thing was, so did everyone else. He was all girls talked about and at one point in your teenage angst, you had found him absolutely annoying. The thing was, this wasn’t King Steve anymore. 

You were lost in thought until you heard the sliding glass door open from behind. Both of your bodies turned quickly as if there was something no one should see going on. The reaction caused Robin to stifle a laugh. 

“Hey, lovebirds! We gotta go! Nancy figured out that we need to go to the Creel house!” Robin's raspy voice filled the once-quiet air causing Steve and you to look at her with wide eyes. “Why are you looking at me like that? Do I have drool on my face?” 

You and Steve looked at each other before rolling your eyes. “No, Robin there is no drool on your face.” You got up slowly and rubbed your sweaty palms on your jeans with a smile. “I’m going to see if Max needs me at all.” 

Steve watched as you walked away his heart feeling different than before. Maybe it was the way you listened to how he spoke or how your eyes lit up when you brought up things you liked, he wasn’t sure but he knew he was in for it. Robin was giving him a look that he knew would lead to questions he had no answers for. 

“So…what did I just interrupt?” The smirk on her face made Steve roll his eyes and wince. 

“She wants to watch that movie Alien with me. If all of this ever ends.” His shoulders slouched forward as he attempted to walk back into the Wheeler house. 

“Wait a minute, Steve, talk to me, I can see how you look at her. I see the way she looks at you. Are you actually going to make some type of move?” Robin was frustrated watching Steve aimlessly flirt with you but then she saw the look he gave her from the question and sighed. “Okay, no moves need to be made, but could you at least fill your best pal in on what is happening here?”

“I like her Robin, a lot, but Nance.” He let out an annoyed sigh and ran his fingers through his hair. Steve liked you more than he cared to admit, every time he spoke with you it felt like he was actually being heard. Yet, this was the first time in so long that he had Nancy smile at him again and that feeling sometimes overpowered all his senses. Even when he knew it wasn’t right because Nance had moved on. 

“Steve, you need to get over Nancy. She has moved on and you should too. Just like her, you are allowed to like someone else and I haven’t seen you look at someone like this before. Just do yourself a favor and try it out. Maybe Y/N is the right person for you to move on with.” Robin placed her hand on her best friend's back and smiled. “Can you just follow my advice for once in your life?” 

“Yeah, maybe I can.” He shrugged and looked at Robin with a soft smile before walking into the Wheeler household. His thoughts only on you and how badly he wanted all of this to work out. Before you, he would dream of Nancy as the mother of his children. They’d travel the world and he would raise them with love and care. Make sure that they knew they were loved and never leave them on their own for stupid business trips. But last night, he had that same dream but instead of Nance, it was you. You were in the passenger side of that big trailer as they traveled the world. He grabbed an ice pack out of the freezer and placed it on his left eye, praying that his thoughts would settle for once. 

You had already made your way down to the basement, Max had been down there for a bit just trying to plan out the mission to the Creel house. When you caught her eye she gave you a weak smile, because she knew that there was so much to explain. “Do you have a minute? I just… umm…need to talk to you about all of this.” Max felt she had pushed you into this life by just accepting your friendship. Everything felt doomed when a being with mind control could alter the course of your life in an instant. 

“Steve told me some stuff about last year in the mall. I guess he got beat up by some Russian spies?” Despite being confused, you knew that everything would not be explained. A decent amount of this was still a mystery to even the people who were deeply involved. “Max, listen you don’t have to explain too much to me. I know all of this isn’t really something that has the right answers.” You paused trying your best to come up with the right thing to say. “All I care about is keeping you safe. So wherever you go I’ll be there, okay?” 

Max almost broke down at that moment, because you were asking for nothing in return. It made her so angry that she had let you into her life. She felt she knew the risks and still allowed you to get close despite the warnings of danger. No one else was around so she quickly hugged you tight, letting only a few tears fall. “Thank you.” Her words muffled as she tried to gain composure back. 

Soon Dustin and Lucas were yelling at the two of you to come back upstairs. Max backed away, you fixed her hair and sighed. This was her typical reaction when displaying public affection. To distract her from the threat of someone seeing her vulnerable, you spoke up, “So off to the Creel house?” The Creel house was an old abandoned home that held its own lore of why it looked that way. As a child, you heard some kids saying it was because the man who once owned it, killed his whole family. Now that you had more information, it appeared it wasn’t that clear-cut. 

“When Vecna had me, I got to some area that he didn’t want me to see. I couldn’t sleep last night so I started to draw what I could remember. Turns out, Nancy has seen the door before.” As Max spoke you tried your best to connect the dots. “Oh and after all of that, we have to bring Eddie some food. He must be starving.” She rolled her eyes when bringing up Eddie's hunger. That problem seemed so small compared to the one she was facing. Of course, you agreed but you still worried about Eddie. He was the only constant in your life and this had been the longest the two of you had been apart. 

Despite not understanding everything, you nodded your head and made your way upstairs. Everyone was ready to go as they rallied into the car. You ended up being seated with Dustin and Steve in the back, in an area where most people kept their luggage or an extra tire. The two boys let you in first and you did your best to take up a little room. Once everyone settled Nancy began to drive to the Creel House. Steve had decided to take the space next to you and Dustin was sitting right in front of you. You decided to place your legs against your chest, wanting to take up the least amount of room but also to control your breathing. As you tried your best to get comfortable you tried to connect what you could. Hawkins was built on some weird fault line for the supernatural. A young girl named El was the reason all of this happened but she appeared to have never meant this type of harm to anyone. Barb and Will seemed to be the first two victims but Will managed to survive. Each year something new would emerge and it was more hostile than the creature that came before. Somehow all of it was connected to the game Eddie loved to play, Dungeons and Dragons. Despite them telling you about it all days ago due to the violent events, it was hard to understand. 

“Dustin, you sit with Eddie at lunch right?” As you spoke Steve glanced over at you. Trying to figure out what was going on in your mind. Dustin nodded and you furrowed your brows. “Did you see him with Chrissy that day?” 

“Nope, I’ve never even seen those two interact before so it was weird to hear he was with her.” As Dustin spoke you began to pick at your cuticles. This was an anxious habit that you had never seemed to break. The uncertainty of it all would randomly rise in your chest, making it feel as if it was hard to breathe. You had two big fears in life which were: the unknown and ending up all alone. Somehow it seemed the Upside Down had both those fears intertwined. 

“He must’ve met with her in the woods after school. Vecna must’ve been really messing with her if she ended up needing drugs.” Steve watched your nervous hands after being caught up in the adorable wrinkles that formed on your forehead and realized that you would end up hurting yourself. He placed his hands over your’s and it caught you off guard for only a moment. Once you looked over and saw his warm eyes and soft smile your shoulders seemed to relax once more. A soft smile soon formed on your lips just from the comfort he brought. Dustin watched with confusion but he was also very intrigued. If anyone wanted Steve Harrington to move on, it was Dustin Henderson. The curly-haired boy watched his best friend pine over many people before. It had gotten worse since Steve got a job at Family Video. So to witness the man finally make moves was a sight to behold. 

Dustin cleared his throat and began to speak trying his best to get more information out of you. “Y/N, why haven’t I seen you at the D&D campaigns?” His tone was somewhat accusatory but you could tell from his smile that he meant no harm. A new type of smile covered your face before you looked back over to Dustin. Despite hearing Eddie and his friends talk about you, you had never shown up at a campaign. You knew what he was trying to do because it was clear that he and Steve were close. From what you heard about him from Eddie and the fact that he was close with Max, it was obvious he was trying to get as much information out of you as possible.

So you smiled at the question and shook your head no. “I suck at that game no matter how many times Eddie has tried his best to teach me. However, he has yet to read a Jane Austen novel so I guess we have always been even.” Eddie was told to read Emma just once and in return, you would attempt to join the game but he could never do it. Since it wasn’t for the lack of trying, you did let him explain the rules once but you couldn’t grasp it. 

Dustin let out a laugh as the image of Eddie reading Jane Austen came into his mind. He seemed like a really nice kid and you could tell why Eddie had grown attached to him. Due to your work schedule, you were never able to meet Dustin before. To meet him now under these circumstances made you feel uneasy. Soon, Nancy had reached the Creel House causing half of the group to get out of the car. Dustin unlatched the back and made his way to Max and Lucas’s side. You and Steve sat there for a bit longer looking at the house you were meant to enter. 

“So I’m guessing this is the least terrifying thing you’ve seen since getting into this mess?” Your voice was soft as you looked at the boarded windows. 

“Umm no, this is still just as terrifying to you as it is to me.” It was some cosmic curse how comfortable you felt next to him despite all the scary things happening. His fingers ran over your’s before he spoke again. “You ready?” 

“As ready as I’ll ever be.” Steve squeezed your hand before helping you out of the back. Max had her eye on the two of you as you both walked closer to each other before standing in front of the house with everyone else. 

“Yeah, that’s not creepy…” Steve spoke up and Robin gave him a knowing look before he made his way up to the door with Nancy. As they began to take the nails off the boards on the door he looked at Nancy. “What exactly are we supposed to be looking for in this shithole?” His tone was different than how it had been in the car. He sounded confused and annoyed about the situation. 

“We’re not sure. We just know this house is important to Venca.” Nancy was focusing on trying to get the boards off the door. Even though she looked tiny, she was strong. Your eyes would trail from Steve to Nancy watching as they worked together. 

Being the newest member of a group of people who had so much shared trauma was difficult. Everyone knew each other and the banter between them all seemed to flow naturally. It felt lonely, during these times you wished Eddie was around. You missed him and the way he was able to calm your nerves with his horrible jokes. You began to get lost in thought as the rest of the group was focused on getting into the Creel house. It wasn’t until you heard the loud thud of the boards that covered the door that you were sent back to reality. 

The door thudded onto the concrete, causing you to jump a bit. You watched Max as she looked at the single red rose stained into the glass. Her whole face had changed into something more serious. Steve was rattling the doorknob “It’s locked. Should I knock and see if anybody's home?” 

“No need.” Robin chimed as you all faced her. She was holding a brick in her hand. “I found a key.” She smirked before throwing it straight into the glass part of the door. The hole it created was big enough for Steve to reach in and grab the handle from the other side. As the door opened, you held your breath, unsure of what this house would look like after all those years abandoned. The group of you entered in a single file line. It was dark and dusty, typical for a house that hasn’t had a tenant in years but there was something bad about this house. You heard Lucas talk about the electricity but your mind was racing as you tried to understand why this place felt so awful. 

“Hey, guys…” Max was now in front of an old grandfather clock, her flashlight shining on the dirty glass. “You all see that right?”

Dustin and Steve answered her with a yeah, but Nancy looked at her. “Is this what you saw? In your visions?” Max only nodded her head yes in response and you got closer to her just in case. 

“I mean it's… just a clock, right?” said Robin as she began to get closer to the clock everyone was gathered around. Her hand wiped the dust off the glass. “Like a normal clock.” 

“Why is this wizard obsessed with clocks?” Steve was confused and you could see his eyebrows furrow as he spoke. “Maybe he’s like a clockmaker or something?” 

“I think you cracked the case, Steve.” Dustin was clearly being sarcastic causing Steve to give him a glare that made you smirk. 

“All I know is the answers are here… somewhere.” Nancy was sure of something and none of you could deny the feeling you all shared. Something happened in this house, something important. “Okay, everyone stay in groups. Robin, Y/N, upstairs.” As Robin saluted you nodded your head. You gave Steve a little wave before he let out a sigh that made Dustin roll his eyes. The two boys began to banter as the rest of you made your way to different areas of the house. 

As you looked around the creaky house, you felt a sudden rush of sadness. It looked like the whole family had just up and left. They didn’t even take family photos. You picked up one of the picture frames and it showed a once-happy family. Because of how you grew up, you knew what it was like to have your world shifted in one moment. Nancy and Robin had noticed you looking sad and made an effort to get your attention. 

“So, Y/N, do you still work at the bookshop in town?” Nancy’s voice caused you to break out of your sadness and smile softly at her. 

You placed the photo back where it was and turned around to face Nancy. “Yeah, I’ve been working there since graduation. I think I saw you there once, dropping off the school newspaper.” 

“Oh yeah, it’s normally…” Nancy’s voice trailed off as she began to think of her dead friend. The look on her face caused you to try and change the subject quickly. You couldn’t imagine losing the friends that Nancy had. First, it was Barb and now it was someone she sure didn’t spend a lot of free time with but they worked closely on the paper together.

“Umm… so what happened to this family? Did you get any information from that visit to Pennhurst?” The question broke Nancy out of her sad trance. If there was one thing you remembered about Nancy Wheeler it was her ability to always know more than anyone. Robin, Nancy and you were all walking up some stairs as she was about to explain Steve burst out in front of her with a look of distress covering his face. 

“Whoa, Woah! What’s wrong?” Nancy looked concerned as Steve started to dust himself off frantically. 

“There was a spider.” He was out of breath as he spoke. 

“What?” She looked both concerned and confused at the same time. Of course, there were spiders, this place had to be filled with them.

“It’s a black widow” He quickly ran to the handle and slammed the door shut. “Don’t go in there.” 

“Oh, oh. Wait just..” You watched as Nancy began to pick at Steve’s hair he was acting frantic about a possible spider in his hair. He kept moving forward and Nancy had to tell him to stop several times until he finally listened. You watched her take a web out of his now messy hair and his whole face lit up as she did so. The whole scene made you feel nauseous and Robin could tell.

“If there is a spider in there you won’t find it till it lays eggs and the babies spill out.” As she spoke, she looked over at you trying to get you out of whatever mood you were now in. 

“What is wrong with you?!” Steve said his voice filled with annoyance and Robin’s only reply was a chuckle before grabbing your arm and leading you away from the scene. 

This left Steve to begin babbling to Nancy letting her know that Robin and he were just friends. Which made you feel even sicker because if he was telling Nancy these things, it meant he still loved her. You understood if he was, it just hurt that for a moment you had actually believed he could possibly like you. When Steve and Nancy began to date everyone talked about it. The two seemed to be the perfect couple, the brains and the beauty. 

“Platonic with a capital P!” Robin who was now several feet ahead of Nancy and Steve spoke up, giving you a little poke on your side to cheer you up the best she could. She wanted to punch Steve for being such a dingus when it came to Nancy but she knew he needed to really figure that out himself.

“Yep, thank you.” His voice had never waivered still full of the same annoyance he felt earlier. Nancy was still getting the rest of the dust and webs out of his hair.

You couldn’t hear the rest of the conversation since Robin had done her best to pull you away from it. Robin could sense the uneasiness brewing inside you so she led you a little further away before finally speaking. “You know, Steve, he thinks he still loves her.” 

The words hit you with a pang in the chest. You turned to look at Nancy and Steve before looking back to Robin. “It looks like he’s pretty sure about it.”  There was no way you could get between that and maybe there was no need for you to even try. Sure, maybe he did like you but how were you sure that it wasn’t just all the excitement of meeting someone new? Yes, he made you feel comfortable but that didn’t mean it was going to be anything more than friends. 

“Well, Steve Harrington has always looked to be many things….and well a lot of it he isn’t.” Her words were soft and you could tell this was a more meaningful conversation. Robin was getting at something deeper but at the moment it didn’t quite make sense. There was far too much on your mind right now both Max and Eddie were in danger. 

“Those two have a history I can’t really compete with. Max, she’s in danger and Eddie is framed for murders. Plus I don’t want to get my hopes up.” The last words caught you and Robin by surprise. You did like Steve a lot but there was so much going on right now and if he did like Nancy maybe that’s just how this is meant to be. 

Robin was about to say something but then suddenly Max yelled from below. Since being on high alert with anything Max related, it didn’t take you long to run down the steps to where she was standing with Lucas. 

The sun had set now and all of you were now in the living room of the Creel house. The chandelier was turning on and off again as if it were a heartbeat. “It’s like the Christmas lights,” Nancy spoke and you realized there was another thing you had missed in this journey. 

“The Christmas lights?” Robin decided to ask the same question you had on your mind.

“Yeah, when Will was in the Upside Down, the lights… came to life.” Max was whispering and it caused you to feel uneasy. 

Lucas then spoke up.  “Vecna’s here…in this house. Just on the other side.” Soon the light stopped buzzing causing all of you to look around to see if anything else was glowing. 

“I think he just left the room.” Robin blurted out. The house was much darker now causing you to get closer to Steve who happened to be right next to you. It wasn’t that you were afraid of the dark, it was just this dark was something else. 

Max began to eye the room with a bit of fear. “Did he hear us?”

“Can he see us?” As Steve spoke, he got closer to you in fear of what was around him. It seemed you both felt the same way about being close. How it offered the both of you a type of solace that was hard to find anywhere else. 

“Headphones,” Lucas ordered looking over to Max. It didn’t take long for her to quickly place the headphones back on her ears and turn the volume up as best she could. 

Nancy looked like her brain was going into overdrive before finally speaking. “Wait, wait, everyone turn off your flashlights and spread out.” 

“We’re not going to be able to see if we turn off our flash… lights,” Steve muttered. “Jesus Christ.” You grabbed his hand quickly and squeeze it as if to say that you were there and it would be just fine. It caught him off guard and he was never able to settle into the feeling. 

“I got him!” Robin walked into another room that was close to the stairs. Her flashlight flashed the same way the chandelier had earlier.  “I had him!” 

Steve’s flashlight began to go off causing both of you to let go of each other's hands. However, you never left his side as you began to journey up the stairs. It wasn’t until he reached the landing that the light died back down. “Shit, I lost him”

“No, you didn’t,” Max chimed in, still able to hear everything despite Kate Bush blaring from her headphones.

Everyone was walking so closely that it was almost as if you had one mind. As everyone walked further up it became clear the source of this was in the attic. Robin was already cursing the idea of this because, of course, the creepy things happening had to be sourced from the attic. Dustin was soon muttering but curiosity took over every sense in your body. There had to be some key as to why this place showed up in Max’s trance. Even though it scared you deeply, it was far more important to keep Max safe.  The attic was dark and smelt of rotting wood, the only source of light was a giant window that made the house look menacing. This was a scene out of a horror movie and everyone had seen enough of them to know that the ending wasn’t going to be ideal. There was only one light fixture for the space and it began to turn on and off at the pace the other lights had done before. Everyone stood underneath it watching as it began to make a buzzing noise that grew louder over time. An uneasy feeling washed over you as the noise grew louder, you hadn’t been this scared since seeing Max levitating in the graveyard. Something was here but no one could see it, yet each one of you knew it was Vecna. Suddenly you heard a pop and the glass from the flashlight shattered into tiny pieces all around your face. Luckily, the sound caused you to pull your head back so you only had a few cuts on your cheeks. Max and Steve both looked at you with concern until it began to happen to the rest of the group. 

It became clear at that moment after the flashlights were broken and the light above burst that Vecna was drawing a lot of power. As everyone walked down the steps and back into the car you began to rub your flannel on your cheek. A few of the cuts stung and Steve kept telling you to keep your pressure on the cut so it would stop bleeding. Despite the group being tired each one of them noticed how he was so concerned about your well-being. In the back of the car, he took the time to check for any lingering glass that could infect the cuts. Dustin was his assistant nurse holding a flashlight up so Steve could get a good look. The way Steve was dotting on you would’ve normally caused you to be embarrassed but your body felt heavy and your mind was fuzzy. So instead you watched him in a daze as he cleaned and sanitized your wound. This reaction would’ve worried him years ago but he had suffered enough from this world to know that it left shock. The kids were too tired to enter the store so the older members except for you decided to go in real quick and grab some food for Eddie. Robin, Nancy, and Steve all insisted you stay in the car and watch over the kids.  By the time they had gotten back, the kids were fast asleep in the weirdest positions but you watched Max as she rested. 

On the ride back, everything in you began to process what had just happened. Steve kept looking at you trying his best to figure out what was going on in your head. Steve had no idea you saw the way his face lit up when he was with Nancy. He didn’t even notice his face had lit up that way in the first place. Yet, the way Robin was so sure about Steve not loving Nancy confused you. The main thing you were worried about wasn’t Steve Harrington, it was Max Mayfield. The summer the two of you met was so life-changing. For years, it felt that you were just doomed and it wasn’t possible for someone with so much damage to help anyone younger. Max had proved you wrong and you wanted to do everything in your power to keep that safe. The cuts seemed to become numb as time went on, it was possible that you just already gotten used to the pulsing pain. When Nancy finally made it back to her house everyone piled out of the car without saying a word. Except for Steve who had pulled you aside as the rest made their way to achieve some sleep. 

“Hey, are you okay? You seemed kinda lost in the car and, listen I get that feeling. This world involves a lot of shocks and you also just got some nasty cuts from that flashlight.” Steve had this habit of rambling even when comfortable. There were just too many thoughts going through his mind all at once and so little time to get them out. Taking a deep breath you looked at him, his face covered with genuine concern that made you understand how he got the title Mom from the kids. 

“Steve, I’m fine, just worried about Max. Thank you for cleaning me up in the car. Dustin and you really would make a fine pair of nurses.” As you spoke his eyes grew wide as if he was confused until it hit him and he let out a small laugh. Once he finally laughed, you giggled and smiled at him. “Don’t worry about me, I’m tough I promise” He knew that you could handle yourself, and yet he still felt the need to stand in the way of anything that could cause harm. Before heading inside, you placed your hand on his shoulder and gave him another warm smile. He watched as you walked into the Wheeler house and ran his fingers through his hair. A sigh of relief left his lips as he realized that Robin hadn’t been there to witness that interaction. Then he heard a loud bang on the window and saw Robin giving him a thumbs-up causing him to roll his eyes. 

[tsugarubecker]

Preview of a fic I’m working on! This is gonna be a long one. Just spat this out in a bit of a writing sprint, it will undoubtedly be edited later on. But for now, check it out if you’d like. TLDR it will eventually be the story of how Mike and Will wind up talking about The Painting. Chapter one is from El’s POV. Enjoy

------

None of them have been doing much of anything useful since they got back to Hawkins.

There isn’t much to do at the moment, frankly. The Upside Down is spilling into Hawkins through massive, sickly, gas-retching gashes in the earth. Red and pulsating like lava. The spores get thicker every day. They stay in the house. All of them. The Wheelers’ house is big enough to house the whole party and all their family members, partners, and tag-alongs, thankfully.  

It’s been three weeks. Max hasn’t woken up.

Vecna also hasn’t made a move. El is grateful for that, at least. She’s recovering – physically, mentally, emotionally. She’s gained Hopper back. She’s lost her first big fight, causing her to wonder if Papa was right about her abilities.

She’s lost Max. Maybe for forever.

When she’s not putting on a mask and braving the spores outside to go out and see Max at the hospital, she’s at home. Mostly sleeping. Her body and mind are tired. She’s recovering, and she thinks – she hopes – Vecna must be doing the same. She’s grateful, at least, for the reprieve. She knows it can’t last long. Before long something is bound to shift – she just hopes she’s ready for it when it does.

When she’s not with Max or sleeping, she’s with Hopper or her brothers or Joyce. Sipping coffee, eating toast or eggos, talking quietly. Sometimes she’s with Dustin. Or Lucas, at the hospital. And every so often with Mike, although things have been awkward between them.

They haven’t exactly… Talked About It, yet.

And she knows they have to. She just can’t even begin to decipher what words to use to say what she needs to say. She can barely even tell, most days, what it is she needs to say. Let alone what she actually wants to say.

It’s easier to pretend she can’t see his eyes trying to catch hers across the hallway as she moves past, headed to the bedroom she’s sharing with Holly and Nancy for another long nap.  

But today is different. She couldn’t scoot by. He caught her off guard while she sipped coffee at noon with Hopper. She was peering over Hopper’s shoulder, trying to catch a glimpse of the funnies when something moved in front of her eyes, blocking her view. Her eyes refocused. Comic books.

“Want to come read with me instead of trying to read over yer Dad’s shoulder?”

She looks up at Hopper. Catches his eye. She swears six different conversations fly between them as he raises his eyebrow at her. “...Yeah, go on, kid. I’m not gonna be done with this paper for a while.”

Trapped. She makes a subtle face at Hopper that Mike can’t see and resists the urge to roll her eyes. “Okay.” She gets up. Mike is standing there bouncing a little on his toes, looking nervous. “...Where are we going,” she asks.

“Oh! Uhh. To my bedroom, I guess. Lucas is at the hospital and Dustin is watching TV in the living room with his mom.”

Was the house cramped? Yeah. Did the people who didn’t live there sometimes venture back to their own homes? Yes. But none of them knew what would happen next. It was safer to stay together in case something happened very suddenly. It was safest to be close to El. She had a lot of complicated feelings about that, but she knew it was true. She had heard the adults discuss it, too. She knew they were right.

Her thoughts had wandered – she found herself following Mike to the bedroom he now shared with the other boys. Other than Will. Will had asked for the basement, with Jonathan.

Once upon a time she would have thought that was odd. Nowadays, she thought that Will not wanting to share Mike’s bedroom was one more mental check mark on a list she was silently keeping in her mind. What she knew of romantic feelings, she had learned from TV. When it clicked for her that she might have missed something big, a whole lot of things started to make a whole lot more sense. She had not shared these thoughts with anyone yet. But they were a big part of her avoidance of Mike and her avoidance, specifically, of any one-on-one time with him – let alone any real, honest conversations.

She came back to the present again. (She found this was happening a lot lately. But she figured she could give herself a break – a lot had happened recently. So no wonder her thoughts were all over the place.) Mike had climbed up onto his bed and propped himself up on an elbow to read. He held out a comic to her. “Come read with me?”

In spite of herself, El smiled. The idea of lying comfortably on a bed with someone, reading comic books, gave her a warm feeling of nostalgia that she couldn’t immediately place. Then she glanced down at the comic Mike was thrusting toward her.

Wonder Woman.

Oh, she realized. Oh, okay. That’s why.

Ignoring multiple signals from her body, including desires to cry, run out of the room, or smash something through a window, she forced herself to reach out and take the comic book. She climbed up onto the bed, lied down on her stomach, and started to read.

[feelingpure]

6, 14, 17, 24 for the FT ask game 💖💖

6. What is your favourite parallel/reference in the show?

Since seeing the finale, it's definitely that “promise you won't write” “I won't” moment that mirrors episode 5. 🥹😭🥲 ARE THEY SAYING THEY WON'T WRITE OR THEY WON'T PROMISE, CAUSE ARGHHH.

14. Do you have any unpopular opinions about Fellow Travelers?

Spoke a little about my struggles with Hawk earlier, but thinking more on 50s Hawk. And I know it's easier said than done. But that his need to stick it to his dad in episode 2 (which, I really loved him in that scene omg but still) kinda ruined everything? Idk, I feel like he could've easily lied, as he does with everyone else in almost every other aspect of his life, and as he tells Tim to learn to do in episode 5.

Could've cashed in that inheritance, and then have a gorgeous more truthful life in Italy with Skippy. A life like the one he talked about in episode 2 when they were in bed near the beginning... and at the end of that same episode he forced Tim to betray himself and write that lie of a letter... Just- I know the thing with his dad is very very personal, and why he couldn't. I just wanted to shake him so bad there. He of course did find a surrogate dad in Lucy Smith's father, a man who's also disgusted with who he is (and who would probably react not too dissimilar to his own dad, if he knew). Anyway, end of my rant.

17. Do you have recommendations of books, series, films or other media similar to Fellow Travelers?

I've been thinking and I can't think of anything too similar that I've consumed recently (I need recs from others tbh)! Of course there's a lot of heartbreaking gay shows/films. One thing that randomly comes to mind is Blue Is The Warmest Colour, now be warned it's a long ass french movie. But same-sex pairing, one is older, one comes from a more 'well-off' family, one is trying to hide the relationship, there's a time jump, several many heartbreaking moments, beautiful cinematography. Uhh what else, there are some v long nsfw scenes 👀 (some may say uncomfortably long and gratuitous; I don't say this but be warned) ermm, maybe not one to watch with others. But anyway that film lives in my head rent free and I desperately need more edits of it to exist, if anyone does watch - enjoy and *hands you tissues for your tears*.

24. Bonus question: if you were a character in Fellow Travelers, who would you be and why?

I'm probably Mary, cause I'd be dramatically pointing out to Tim every time Hawk is being frustrating 🙄 (love him tho but grr hahaha).

FT ask game

[jane-friend]

I already reblogged this earlier today, but having seen this multiple times on my dash I actually went to watch the video because the full english in the image he makes looks… sterile? It’s hard to explain but it looks so *safe*. And sure enough, in the video, it IS just that. Food cooked more for color and visual appeal than flavor. He undercooks the mushrooms, the sausages don’t get enough color so that the one stripe of Maillard reaction pops more, in general everything is only lightly and purposely cooked in a way that does not lend well to flavor or mouthfeel. The resulting dish simply isn’t going to be pleasant to eat, or at least vastly less pleasant than an ordinarily, thoroughly prepared full english.

Now, I bring this up because, outside of being a self-absorbed foodtuber and cryptobro who thinks he can’t do no wrong, I’ve noticed all of his content is no longer about showing how to cook iconic recipes from shows. Initially in the VERY early years of Babish, his channel was built off of a fun premise: make weird dishes from TV shows. He was already pretty handy in the kitchen, but was less secure about his abilities, carried vulnerability, was very clearly genuine. But as he got more attention and people praised his handiwork, he quickly dropped his genuine behaviors and mannerisms and almost immediately doubled down on this new persona he had found, this Humble Kitchen Mastermind he now wants us to perceive him as. Any mess-ups in the videos felt less on accident and more scripted, his attempts at expanding content immediately jumped to “Basics with Babish” where he takes it upon himself to show you how to cook in a move that felt a little too self-indulgent for his ego. And after a while, he rebranded to “Babish Culinary Universe”, shedding any sort of perception that he was of humble beginnings and jumped on the opportunity to make what was once fun cooking videos into a Business.

Ever since then, his videos have purely become style over substance. While his skills were still sound, his presentation was sterile. He would do a dish from a show, then completely spit in the face of it and staunchly declare he’s now going to do a BABISH version, in which he takes this fun food concept and perverts it into something unrecognizable to the source material. In the past he had done this sort of thing, but it was sparingly. Now, it’s a common occurrence, and feels even more like performative reinforcement of his internet persona. Nothing feels genuine.

Which now brings me to today. I’ve been watching his videos sparingly over this year, less as a means of enjoyment and more as a case study. All of his videos where he makes food from shows are so unbelievably artificial. The Everything Bagel video is not a proper video on making The Everything Bagel, it is seven minutes of jarring editing and wasted seasonings all for an unfunny joke. His initial attempt at making the cheeseburger from The Menu was wildly half-assed, failing to capture why the scene from the movie was so powerful in the first place(appreciation of food for food’s sake, the simple joy of cooking) and he wastes no time in doing his BABISH version, somehow making a high-effort *fancy* burger that looks even worse than the simple burger in the movie.

And here we are, the Full English video sponsored by Hogwarts Legacy. After all this backstory, after all this text, what the fuck point am I trying to make? It’s this:

Babish is not in the business of making videos about food, not anymore. Babish is in the business of making videos about his character. Without a doubt, Babish knows the implications of aligning his character with this game and all the controversy it, and Harry Potter, bring with it.

And Babish chose to make the video.

uhh TLDR Fuck this guy he knows what he did

babish bigot embarrassment

[asudai-tls]

[Archive Video] Resumption of Twi■■light Activities Announcement

Nao: Good evening, nice to meet you. I'm Nao, also known as Unknown from Twi■■light. Thank you for listening to our broadcast.

Kei: I’m Kei, also known as Dusk from Twi■■light. Despite it being sudden, I'm glad you’re watching this. 

Seira: I’m Seira, also known as Stella from Twi■■light. It's been a while since I last dived, so to be honest I’m a little nervous… I’m glad you’ll be spending a little time with me. 

Kei: Let’s start by explaining our unit. Then, leader, you first. 

Nao: Hm? Mm. I’m the leader. 

Seira: … That’s all?! There’s definitely something more to say than that.

Nao: Huh? Um. Is there something else?

Siera: There is. What about the kind of unit Twi■■light is? What about us resuming activities? 

Nao: Uhh… Do as you wish. 

Seira: Leader!   

Kei: Well, it seems like our leader is a bit lacking in nutrition. Here, a cereal bar. 

Seira: Haa.. I’ll say a bit then. Twi■■light is a unit formed 9 years ago by Nao and Kei. And I joined the group 7 years ago. After that, we took a break from activities for a while, and now we’re back. 

Kei: Well because the break was so long, I almost feel like a newbie. I want to take this opportunity to show you a new Twi■■light. We’ll see what happens.

Nao: Isn’t everyone so busy that we can’t do much? Even today, Seira’s modeling work was busy again so now we’re streaming late at night. 

Kei: You didn’t have to say that. 

Seira: I’m sorry! I apologized earlier, didn’t I?

Kei: Alright, alright, that’s enough for now. Next, let’s each introduce ourselves. It seems like you’re feeling a little better, so Nao you first. 

Nao: Umm…I guess I'm in charge of composing music within the unit. My instrument is guitar? I can basically play anything. That’s all. 

Kei: Eh… Are you done already…?

Seira: Please introduce yourself in a better way. You’re the cornerstone of Twi■■light’s music. I joined the unit because I was moved by the music you make. Make sure to emphasize that. 

Nao: Ehhh~ Seira, you're giving me such great praise.

Siera: I only acknowledged your musical sense, nothing else.

Kei: Seira really loves the music Nao makes. Now then, my turn. I'm the group’s engineer, in charge of Twi■■light’s mixing. To put it simply,  I adjust the sound recorded by each person to get the best balance. It's my role to turn it into a single cohesive song. Other than that, I also do all the other small miscellaneous things.

Nao:  It must be hard work.

Kei: I just got better at it the more I did it.

Seira: He also does the video editing and he’s a pro at the bass. 

Kei: Haha, I just became able to do that too. 

Seira: It’s scary how easily he does everything while laughing. Lastly, my turn. I write the lyrics for  Twi■■light’s songs. My instrument is the piano. Technically, I'm still no match for Nao, but I hope to catch up quickly. I'm doing it with passion in my own way.

Kei: As Seira said earlier, Twi■■light’s music stems from Nao's delicate worldview. We plan to work hard so that we can convey that world to as many fans as possible.

Nao: Zzzz…zzzz…

Kei: So, it seems like while we were talking enthusiastically, Nao himself has begun to doze off.

Nao: Zzzz… 

Seira: Hello, anyone there?! We were having a serious conversation! 

Kei: ......That’s the kind of unit we are. I think everyone would have understood well enough.

Seira: No, this isn't a good enough explanation. We need to tall about before the hiatus, about our musicality, etc.

Kei: With our leader like this, that's impossible.

Nao: Mm… Goodnight. 

Kei: Hey now, don’t use my shoulder as a pillow. Come on, say your final goodbyes. Try your best to stay awake. 

Nao: Nnn… I’m sleepy…

Kei: We are a unit that has been inactive for a long time. We don't know about the current Astrodive. As a diver, I’m like  dead tree from a bygone era. Even so, I want to light the fire once again.

Nao: Music is an unchanging thing. Forget all your unnecessary worries. For now, I want you to listen to our music. That's all I have to say.

Seira: Finally, a proper statement… I've always wanted to work as Twi■■light again. I'm really happy to be back in action. This is why I have continued to make music, so I can show you how I take on new challenges. I want everyone to follow–

Nao: With that said, see you all later. This was Twi■■light. Goodnight~

Kei: Haha, see you next time. Goodnight. 

Seira: Hey, I was still talking! We went through all the effort to get together, and now this is it...!

Kei: Alright, let’s cut it here.

Seira: Ah see you all! Goodnight! But a little longer, please…!

[wooahaes]

hii its tattoo anon again <3 i just wanted to update you i loved cheols part of uts and cheol is one of my biases and i am so in love with his part!! i found this series almost a year ago and its bittersweet now that it has ended. i am so excited to see what comes next for the poly fic and your new works in general. i also hope that u saw my last message!! also i wanted to ask because idk if i didnt realize it or missed it but did you ever reveal who gave mouse the little stuffed mouse? if im not mistaken was it jeonghan? i have been wanting to figure out who it was but idk if i got it wrong lol. have a good day!

omg hi lovely!! i 100% saw ur last message and meant to respond and then. either forgot or got busy w school stuff, im blanking on which is it which probably just means it slipped my mind :( sorry!!

im literally gonna copy it over here and answer both this ask + the previous one to make it easier so uhh long response under the readmore !! i hope that's okay :(

okie dokie ill address this ask first

hi!!! you've been following the series since like... very close to the beginning then haha which is v v sweet and ill sob rn!!

i think i mentioned jeonghan working on the lil plush mouse during cheol UtS but didn't address it further, but yes! it was going to come up during poly fic at some point where he made all of the plushies for each person as a way of like. giving ppl comfort, esp when they show up & don't join the group at first (so that they have Something there w them, im the kind of person who needs something in my arms in order to sleep haha so that's where it's mainly coming from).

and for ur last ask:

hi its me again the tattoo anon LOL. i just wanted to reply to what you said and im so glad that i made you happy with what i said and i genuinely mean it. this is a little vulnerable but ever since i started liking svt i think a major reason why i love them so much is because they are a big group of friends and i have friends, but not that many so stanning svt in general is so comforting because of the closeness of all of them but finding this fic was like. a fucking dream for me because them being such a big close knit group and it being like the found family trope is perfect and the way you write and portray them is so comforting. genuinely i meant it when i said its one of my favorite things i have stumbled upon in my life, i have shared this story with my friends and they love it too and when we watch some edits of seventeen or see something in general that reminds us of this fic we say “this is so under the sun coded” and its like an inside joke with me and my friends. you literally changed the trajectory of my life with this fic lol. when im having a hard time in my personal life i come back to this little world u created by either just thinking about it before i fall asleep or rereading it and i want to thank you for being a writer. i hope you enjoy writing what you write bc i know that i certainly enjoy it and i hope you are proud of urself. anyway i think selling subtle stickers would be so awesome and i will definitely buy them. also since i submitted my last ask i have thought about little ideas for a tattoo maybe?? like what about like a small drawing of a church and like 13 little people around it with a little sun?!? or flowers like you said OR getting little drawings of the animals each person has? i think that would be so cute. or like maybe a little sash blindfold?? anyway ur awesome i love u thank u

the first time i tried to answer this ask, my long response ended up deleted bc i switched tabs for a second to check something and then tumblr just... deleted it??? which was v frustrating, kind of makes me hate the new post editor a Lot!

but to be vulnerable as well, i think i started writing UtS at like... a difficult point in my life? not difficult as in the painful way, but difficult as in 'there's a lot going on right now and i've never felt more alone than i do now' i guess? it's like... i started writing it right before my final semester of college, and i'm an online student, so i don't get to go out and be in a classroom with other people. sometimes i call myself an introvert when i think the term 'ambivert' has always fit more--i don't detest being social, i do tend to enjoy it! but i still need alone time to make up for it since it's draining. and idk, i was lost for a while on who i am and what i want to do with my life?

and i feel like writing UtS has put me in a vulnerable position to like... question a lot more about myself as a person. i have friends, sure, but no one i go out to see in person since i'm not exactly like... in a good place for that kind of interaction (deep south bible belt, haha... makes not being straight something i struggle with sometimes). i think the important part of UtS is the acceptance they all have for one another, and it's something i personally wish to have a lot more of in my offline life. i think even if i had the idea without darl+ing, it would have ended up being a svt fic due to how close they are and how much they care for one another.

also tbh i just love the found family trope. i love the idea and process of choosing your own family in a sense and saying 'these are MY people and i love them' ig.

also u showing the fic to ur friends + the comment abt being like 'this is UtS coded' ill SOB!!! i will!!! thats literally so cute and sweet of u!!! (pls feel free to send me any of ur 'this is UtS coded' thoughts i would always love to hear them haha)

but like. this is why i write. i like being able to impact people and help them escape life and be happy for a while. its why it always means a lot to me when i get feedback on my work and see people be happy with what i write (... even if sometimes its angsty haha--moving people to feel is a huge compliment by itself!). im glad you have UtS. im glad i have it now, too.

i do enjoy writing, btw, and i loved writing uts. even with the frustration periods where i didn't touch it for a while, i genuinely enjoyed writing uts a lot. i think i owe a lot of that to people like you, who read it and show support for the series! its always easier to read something when i know there's someone who will enjoy it. i remember smiling hard when i rewrote the ending to cheol uts bc of how fucking stoked i was to share it tbh!!! also bc i messaged savv 'lol this is gonna be devastating (/pos)' at one point i think sdkfhsdf but i was genuinely excited to finish it and get it out to u guys!! i dont know who i would be if i didn't write, and despite like... all of the bad shit that's happened in my life that i've turned to writing to pull myself out of it, i don't think i'd ever give it up. i think it's too deeply a part of me to ever give up. maybe one day i'll get published lol

ill definitely put more thought into subtle stickers for UtS (and maybe some other series haha cant remember if i mentioned that last time but UtS felt like the bigger one)! might have to ask around my friend circle for tips on designing them >:3

ohh i like ur tattoo ideas :0 im not sure what would look good so i hope u consult a tattoo artist with ur ideas eventually!! the idea of the lil church w a sun + 13 ppl is rly cute? if u do the sash-blindfold thing, u could always have a lyric inside of it or something if u wanna play w that :3c pls feel free to keep me updated further!!

sorry i didnt get to this ask until now but i hope u are doing well mwah mwah have a good day ur awesome ily

[xxduncandonutxx]

EDIT 21/11/23:

Munchkin had corrected her mistake about saying that Oliver or "Little red" as she calls him to be the only character with a disability in the show I watch the video and I have a lot of problems with it, don't get me wrong some of the criticism in it is valid while most of it is invalid and/or could've been worded better.

Basically she starts the vid off by saying "Well, my husband is disabled" which... okay?? I feel like she said that as a way to deflect people from calling her an ableist, Now, I don't think she's an ableist but it feels like she is using a similar "I can't be racist because I'm married to a black guy" card sort of thing or basically trying to pull a reitanna seishin like "I can't be transphobic because I'm pansexual".

Anyways, in the actual video she mentioned the scene where Oliver says to Fizz that he wants to be a clown like him, and she then claims that Fizzarolli is a "sex symbol" alongside the show being one.

However, Fizzarolli is not a sex symbol considering that we seen that there are kid friendly Fizzy-bots, cereals, toys ect. being sold for children, kinda like how in the MLP fandom we have the SFW side and NSFW side.

Of course, there will be a safe for work side aimed at kids and a uhh nsfw side aim for adults.

Thecrazygaming zombie did better explaining this, so I suggest checking this out.

Next, Munchkin complains that Oliver is not a recurring character, which I would agree but Helluva Boss is not finished yet.. so, there may be a chance that Oliver will return in later episodes rather than just being a background character.

You can't say "He isn't recurring" until Season 2 and 3 is done.

Lastly, she mentions there isn't much Disability representation and then proceeds to mention that Blitz used the R slur in the past: The pilot and Western Energy.

Firstly, the Pilot isn't canon anymore so therefor, Blitz never use the slur in the canon show but I will acknowledge that he did in the pilot and almost said it in Western Energy but I feel that this a huge nothing-burger since I have no issue with slurs being used in adult media as long as the creator obviously doesn't condone it.

Vivziepop obviously doesn't condone whatever is happening in the show, and she just writes it in for story purposes or comedy. A lot of shows do this, take South Park for example.

But anyways now to the "lack of disability rep in the show" , Yes, I agree, there should be more representation other than Fizzarolli being missing both limbs, having broken horns, Precious or the Albino quieve (Fizzy's and Ozzie's pet) having a wheelchair for her hindlegs, Blitz confirmed to have dyslexia, Vortex being blind in one eye and finally Oliver being deaf.

I do agree that there should be more disabled characters in the series. And finally, Munchkin mention that the kid being declined from entering the Meet and Greet should've been Oliver which... uhhhhhhhh no???? We don't need a scene where a disabled kid gets injured thank you. Anyways, I'm done rambling.. If you wanna watch Munchkin's video and form your own opinions/thoughts, then go for it but please don't send her any hate.

You can dislike the video, sure but don't leave a nasty hate comment towards her despite her doing a lot of shitty things in past like monetizing a video talking about ToonKryticy2k (a pedo who was being called out at the time) and then refusing to unmonetize it or remove the links that lead people to her pateron account.

And she also linked Dr. Wolf's video where he basically tells people that they should forgive Toon as well...

Munchkin is planning to share her thoughts about this HB video

And a lot of the Helluva Boss fans have an issue with it, mostly because of the thumbmail and mostly because they are jumping to the wrong conclusion by calling Maddy an "ableist" for simply reviewing this scene.

Now, do I think Maddy is an ableist? No, the video hasn't even been released yet and as soon as it's release I'll form my own opinions whether or not she is a ableist.

[puzzlehat]