#this took way to long

[glitzybunny]

Speaking my truth cause ong yes hi Sage of Truth ahaha

[thesharktanksdriver]

Devils may love?: leaving home, loving life and loosing you

This is part 1 going over dmc3, I’m gonna maybe write parts for the other games if people are interested. Also maybe will eventually write some stuff for the pov of other characters in love with the blind dumbass that is reader.

Links: masterlist, part 2

You never thought that in your life you’d end up working at a place called “devil may cry”

When you initially found a job listing for the job it wasn’t even named that yet, and you never knew how much it would end up affecting your life

You used to fear not being able to pay rent on a daily basis

Feared getting mugged on your way home from a late shift or if your coupons expired before you bought groceries

But now you feared having demons knocking down your door and breathing down your neck on a daily basis

Let alone the fact that you had to deal with that alongside whatever other world ending event you somehow got caught up in

And dealing with taxes

And ensuring that Dante payed for the power and hydro in time

And….

Well there were a lot of and’s with the job that would go on to change your life

Whether that change was fully good or fully bad was up to debate

God knows how long you’ve weighed both sides in your mind

But it for sure made your life a hell of a lot more lively

Quite literally in the hell metaphor

And it all started when you found an add in the paper right after leaving a previous job and needing cash quick

You had a shitty apartment but rent was due in a short amount of time

Couldn’t rely on your parents either, not when they put you in this situation in the first place and you’d took the opportunity to get as far away from their shit as possible

Which meant you had fairly limited options

Especially with the fact you’d also had to drop out at the finish line of high school to make ends meet

That had ended up biting you in the ass more than anything

But the paper in your hands said little qualifications were needed

So it was your last chance

You never knew what it entail when you entered through the double doors of the newly bought building

The street lights above you illuminating your hope filled face holding your short resume

Admittedly sitting down for the job interview with Dante was a rather…daunting task

Less because he was intimidating

And moreso for the fact that the man (you say that hesitantly because he was literally the same age as you) who introduced himself as Dante sat with his feet kicked up on his desk and barely even glanced at your resume

The paper simply ended up in his hands for his eyes to skim before letting it be placed atop a stack of papers that looked like overdue bills nearby

Nor had he asked any work related question like “how do you work well in a team environment” or “do you have any prior experience to jobs like this”

Instead your potential future employer snacked on a slice of pizza and asked you questions like “know any places that deliver mid-apocalypse?” And “want a slice? Can’t guarantee you’ll get more than a piece or two with how fast I eat”

You can’t say you’d had any job interviews end up like this

They mostly ended up with fake smiles and promises to contact you if you got the position and never hearing a peep from them again

But Dante seems all too lax to be considered serious at all

Well besides his serious addiction to take out evident by the few leftover stacked pizza boxes and cartons of Chinese swept off to the side

Whenever you bring up your resume he waves it off or switches topics

He definitely didn’t even read through your previous job experiences

He just read your name and your phone number

What’s worse is that this wouldn’t even be the worst boss you’d had

Just potentially the weirdest

And that’s saying something

But At least he’s not some old creep the age of your dad leering at you

He’s just a horned up teen boy

He’s 18, just like you and just as in need of needing to get by on his own as you are

Though you think for different circumstances

By how he keeps a small photo of a blond woman on his desk, the only thing comparably well kept on the scratched up mahogany slab implies something

Something your not privy to (yet) but something none the less

A thing that leaves him both careless and untethered all the same

Perhaps for both good and bad

Whilst your seemingly the opposite, you can’t help but think of your parents with a bitterness that crawls up and wraps round every memory good (not many I the first place) or bad

Along with the fact that you can’t and don’t want to go back to them and would rather try to scrape by on your own

Even if it meant dropping out before graduation to do so

Just so you could get a job to afford rent since minimum wage wouldn’t get you by

Well…it certainly has a lot of weight to it both

Maybe something he recognizes when despite your made up professional appearance there are some cracks in it

How you nervously play with your hands

The fact that your his age and asking for a job that’d be enough to afford groceries and a roof over your head

No matter how leaky or loud the neighbours were

So when the interview is over you begin to count your losses

Grabbing your bag and trying not to hang your head on the way out

He must’ve just been messing with you

Or at least that’s what you think until he stops you asking where you going

And you can only tilt your head in confusion saying that you were heading back to your apartment

“But your already on the job”

“Huh? But I thought you were pulling my leg”

“What do you mean? I hired you already”

“What?! When???”

“When I opened the door and found an absolute babe in front of me asking for a job”

You think your already starting to regret this choice

But cash is king and you need some of that dollar to get by this month

You’ll just resign when you get on your feet and find something better

(News flash that doesn’t happen. Oh poor young naive past you)

Working at this still yet to be named paranormal/mercenary agency is a relatively easy task

Answer the phone, organize Dante’s increasingly messy desk, file some paperwork and make sure the bills are payed on time

Maybe throw out some old takeout and fight off the colony of raccoons in the back who started making a palace from pizza boxes

Somehow that ends up being the most odd but simultaneously normal thing you’d experienced yet

The place itself is actually quite cosy when you get used to it

Warm lighting accented by a the soft hum of the jukebox playing some 80’s power ballad

It makes for a nice mood when your sweeping up or filling things out

A comfy leather chair and a simple but effective desk for you to work at if it wasn’t already occupied

The smell of gunsmoke and cologne wafting in the air…alongside leftover pizza remains that you try to mask with fabreeze

On that half the job is simple

Effective as you mainly just ensured the place didn’t burn down

Or have the power taken again

Something you’d expect from being a secretary and or cleaner

(You will not say your a maid, Dante kept insisting that maybe he’d get you a proper costume to go with it that you quickly shut down)

And mainly answer the phone when Dante wasn’t there to butt in and take the receiver from you

But on the other hand working at this still unnamed place also means you were working with Dante

And that was a mixed bag in of itself

For as much as he initially intimated you with his display of guns right behind his desk or the sword casually strapped to his back

Or the ungodly amount of times you dealt with him covered head to toe covered in gore and blood

Or the fact he was your boss and could fire you at any moment

Dante’s intimidation factor quickly faded away into mild annoyance from his Dante..ness

Look you aren’t paid enough to deal with this crap-

To others Dante was the demon hunter

A mercenary of well known regard

A hero who saved the day and stopped the forces of hell

A badass with a penchant for overly complicated and dramatic theatrics

And dear god was he known for how he did this all effortlessly while seemingly being the coolest man ever known

But to you he was your annoying boss

This was both affectionately and as an insult due to the amount of times he’d gone out of his way to dump the bills on your desk and high tailed it out of the store using a mission as an eccuse

Dante as your employer is weird plain and simple

He has moments where he toys with you slightly

Pushing your buttons but never pushing too far 

Small jokes sent your way but nothing extreme

Knowing when you began to look genuinely upset and stopping before he accidentally crossed the line in the sand

He drapes himself over your shoulders while your trying to fill out his papers

Keyword his

Or he calls you by those god awful nicknames

He calls you a plethora of stuff: babe, baby, hot stuff, sugar

But most embarrassingly and most frequently

“honeypie~”

You’d swear with the amount of times he called you that you could permanently pay for the electricity bill and maybe even the water

A shit eating grin on his face as he drags out the pet name whenever he could in a sing-song manner

(Including in front of clientele and eventually the other members of dmc when they join…and it unfortunately sticks since everyone but Nero partakes in torturing you this way-)

You’ve chased him with his plethora of weapons many times trying to wipe that grin off his face

Yelling his name at the top of your lungs as he hopped over his desk and toppled the stack of still unsigned paperwork

The phone ringing conveniently has saved him too many times when you were just about to get revenge

The most effective threatening tool of them all was the well loved broom you’d swear you’d mastered at this point

But on the other hand Dante is equally kind as he is annoying

When not playfully teasing and joking Dante just talks to you

Sometimes it’s mundane things like asking for recommendations for new schlocky horror flicks to watch

Other times it’s complaining whatever demonic creature he was sent to exterminate

Something he had initially tried to hide from you before you very easily pointed out the literal demon heads he’d impaled on the walls weeks earlier

For all his bravado and being a bit of an ass he’s caring at his core

You see that through his actions that are both loud and clear and quiet and invisible

There are times he makes his care obvious

He watches intently and knows when your tired and pushing yourself to get things done even if your trying to hide it

The subtle lull of your head as exhaustion seeps into your bones

He gets up from whatever he was distracting himself with (typically a magazine of some sort)

Telling you to “take a break there babe. Don’t want you to keel over too soon” though the slight edge to it indicates his worry as he takes the paperwork off your desk and stashes it some place absurdly high

His go too method to get you to stop overworking

other times when you fall asleep at the front desk you wake up to find his coat draped over your shoulders and yourself relocated on a nearby couch

A small sticky note clinging to your face saying “don’t overwork yourself honepie, who else is gonna keep me in check. By the way there’s some leftover pizza for you in the fridge if I’m not back by when you wake up - your favorite devil hunter Dante :)”

How he offers to walk you home or let you stay the night if it was getting particularly late

Though whenever he makes that offer he ruins it with the wiggling of his eyebrows immediately after

And the cheeky grin that by that point your too tired to try and erase off his face

But even then, when he makes that offer you see in crystalline blue eyes the sincerity in them

A smidge of worry and maybe even a crumb of fear

His more subtle care comes in the form of how you find your area more safer than usual

Less muggings let alone demons slinking through the night

Apparently he made it known that these were his stomping grounds and with his reputation most demons knew to stay clear

Same for muggers as well with his name in the underworld

His other silent care comes in the form of finding your favourite snacks eventually stocked at in the small kitchen

It comes from a few stray questions here and there

Or noticing what you packed yourself for lunch/snacks

He never acknowledges it

But you do find he has a small smile when seeing you enjoy what he bought

Content without a thank you because seeing your smile was enough

how the jukebox now seems to contain songs you’d mentioned enjoying out of nowhere

Or songs you’d already liked in the machine playing more often

Because that’s the sort of person Dante was

The man who when you call in sick ends up at your place with wanton soup and medicine

Never asking for anything In return except for you to recover properly

Or The fact he always he always buys you a strawberry sundae alongside his own or makes sure to buy a split pizza incase you didn’t like his toppings

It’s perhaps because of this you keep telling yourself you’ll put off finding another job

That the job market was bad right now even if you’d seen another promising job

Just because seeing his stupid grin when he sees you enter was payment enough even without the cash

“Dante I swear to god! Get back here!”

“Sorry honepie! Got a job to do!!”

“You’re not leaving until you pay the god damn bills you asshole!!! If you can deal with demons then you can deal with me you bastard!!!” Raising the broom you whack his head, making the devil hunter groan and he returns to running for his life out the double doors “also pick a god damn name for this place already! A business needs a name!”

You end up seeing Dante in various particular intimate moments in his life (Even before all the craziness that would come later on down the line)

It first begins when you see the days he’s drained from wear and tear

From the jobs that went bad even if he made it back alive

his shoulders sag even when he tries to act like his cocky self

His grin more strained as blue eyes hold back tears from failure to save someone

You don’t ask

Never have the heart to

But you do find yourself pulling him close even with the height difference

The first time it happens he goes stiff

Still as a statue in such an uncharacteristic manner

Thinking he’s uncomfortable you tried to pull away, an apology at the tip of your tongue when shaky arms pulled you back

Clinging to you as knees buckle and he ends up in the crook of your neck

You don’t mention how his sobs are heartwrenching

Nor that they haunt you with how vulnerable it sounds

Instead you thread fingers through his snowy hair, weaving through the soft locks

You never ask what happened

Instead you say that you’d order pizza tonight, on the house

With a few sobs he tries to argue but you don’t relent

And somehow the stubborn man you called your boss relents

Perhaps for the first time you’d ever seen

It’s later on when these moments happen though few and far between that he opens up bit by bit

It takes about a year but Like small fractures in a dam it eventually breaks and lets out the waterworks

He tells you he had a dad, a stern but caring man who disappeared one day and probably died

He tells you that he had a brother, his twin who was his opposite in almost every way possible down to contrasting favourite colours

The most caring mom in the world who died as flames consumed their home

He could only stay hidden in the closet

Scared and alone

Powerless to it all

How for years he was alone with only a trail of regrets and people he cared for ending up in the crossfire

How he’s only part human (though to be honest you already kinda put that together after he walked off being impaled one day)

All because of him

That despite it all he only ended up failing time and time again

And most surprisingly that he was scared

Scared for you

Because everyone he cared for ended up dead

And that he’s sorry for being selfish and keeping you around despite the risk

That you have to hate him for how annoying he was

For the danger he brought even being in the same room as you

It’s admittedly a lot

But you hold him, letting him get it all out

Hands that had seen so much loss and blood clutching you like you were the last valuable thing in the world and simultaneously made of glass

It just solidifies your words when you tell him that honestly he was a giant pain in the ass

A admittedly terrible boss

A smartass and flirty bastard

But he was a good person

Someone who did his best despite the circumstances

Because no matter how much he was kicked down and spat on he took it with a cocky smile

Never letting the salt in the wound sting in front of others

And that most importantly you can’t guarantee that you won’t get hurt

But you’d stick with him

For some reason despite all the risks he lists off you wanna stay

Your not really sure as to why

But you stay and that’s what matters

The risk he practically begs you to consider

Yet you stay

So in the vulnerable moments you wait for him by the doors

Waiting and ready for him to collapse into your arms

Ignoring the blood and gore that you’d inevitably have to wash out your clothes yet again

But it’s a price to pay when the man you call your friend

Your technical boss who was more like your own employee than anything with how you heckled him to get work done

Your best friend and worst migraine holds you with such fragility

You never confirm with him but you think the last time someone hugged him like this was his mom

All those years ago as the blazing flames surrounded them

It’s perhaps why he clutches you so close

Hoping to not let go and have the past repeat itself

But unlike back then you remind Dante that he’s not powerless anymore

He’s not the scared boy locked in a closet surrounded by the flames

He’s a man with the power to protect those weaker than him

Because he knows what it’s like to be powerless

To pray for a hand to reach out and to now be that hand for others

Despite what he thought you remind him that the truly powerful protect what they love

(Unbeknownst to you, you are that love)

(The beating heart that makes his humanity all the more apparent and his demonic side all the more powerful with something to protect)

All the while you morn the fact that Dante and you are the same age

Both kids with no one seemingly but each other in this world and left to navigate with one another

Your both just kids

You’d heard too many of Dante’s stories about his childhood not to recognize the sight of his brother inside your apartment

White hair slicked back instead of messy locks framing his face

Their near identical features if not for the ominous threatening look in blue eyes that you knew Dante would never direct towards you even if you took the last slice or banned him from strawberry sundaes yet again

You’d think after all the stuff you’d been through due to Dante like the incident with the raccoons out back becoming infused with demon power

Or the amount of times you’d saved his sorry ass from going fully broke

That this would be the worst thing that could happen

An Incorrect assumption

Looking at his definitely evil twin brother you can’t help but sigh and put your hands up in defeat

He told you awhile back about his run In with his twin

Said twin trying to steal his half of the amulet that the half-demon always wore

Well “always wore” besides the times he’d go to take a shower and ask you to hold onto it for him for a bit

Then returning it once he was done, a certain shine of gratitude in his eyes when he sees you polished it for him

Anyways back to the evil twin thing, apparently Vergil gave back said amulet because “he said he could take it back anytime he wanted”

The death glare and that quote alone alerted you to what type of person you had in your apartment

And that’s not even accounting the fact that he’s also part demon and has a real ass katana with him

“So do you want me to write a note for him before you kidnap me? Or do you want me to call him instead?”

To be completely honest after the raccoon incident you can’t even be remotely surprised anymore

But this does either earn you amusement from said definitely evil brother or at least some brownie points for being compliant

“Your cooperating?”

“Listen sir…uh Vergil? I’m assuming your Vergil? Anyways Vergil I’m not paid enough to deal with this….and your brother said I’d be paid overtime if something like this happened. So if anything this a forced paid vacation”

To be honest that last part was mostly you trying to find some good in this admittedly shitty situation

You always had great copping skills or at least that’s what you told yourself

At least you’d hopefully get something out of this besides trauma

And potential scars physical and psychological

Or Maybe even death if your super unlucky and piss off the blue half demon

But that was an if

A big if due to the fact he hasn’t already cut you down implying he needed you for something

And hopefully that something would give Dante enough time to save you

God forbid he doesn’t or else you’d become a demon and claw your way out of hell to torture him with undone paperwork

And with that you end up as hostage/bait in a literal hell tower that spouted up from the ground

Vergil and some weird guy called Arkham holding you at the top of the tower like some princess

Guess in this case Dante would be your proverbial knight in shinning armour while Vergil was the dragon or something

The analogy wasn’t too far off with that weird ass jester occasionally popping up to piss you off when Vergil left the room

You couldn’t wait for the long nosed bastard to have some lead shoved inbetween his eyes for the fact he kept joking about your dead expression whilst being kidnapped

Unlike him you had some scraps of dignity you wanted to save

Plus what was even the point of kicking and screaming when you were up against a half demon and whatever else they had up their sleeves

Speaking of said other half demon though

Surprisingly you didn’t entirely mind Vergil

Was he an ass? Definitely

But at least you could have a conversation with him

Something that surprises even him when you spotted him pulling out a book of poetry

Specifically William Blake

Yeah, surprise surprise somehow that “useless” class in high school your parents hounded you about wasting your time on actually became relevant

You’d say you’d told them if it weren’t for the fact you never wanted to see either of them again

He reads quietly aloud not expecting you to finish the last part for him

“The sun descending in the west, the evening star does shine; The birds are silent in their nest, and I must seek for mine-”

“The moon, like a flower, in heavens high bower, with silent delight, sits and smiles on, the night”

For the first time you see something crack in his stoic demeanour

a spark of something when he then turns to you

Surprise? Maybe even a hint of some sort of longing

You don’t know what he went through after he was separated from Dante, but you can only guess it was just as hard as his twin up to this point

So maybe finding someone with the same love for flowery words of a dead guy was comforting in some weird way

At least as comforting it could get for someone who hated humanity

He walks over to where you sat on the cold ground with your wrists and ankles bound, asking if you knew more of Blake’s work and when you nod

At that there’s a moment of silence and then he asks for your interpretation of old words on faded yellow pages

This leads you to discuss with Dante’s brother without being called a “useless human” 5 seconds in

Honestly sitting atop the weird demon tower debating with him wasn’t what you pictured

But it is a sure if a lot better than what you originally imagined

Mostly because it’s actually pretty fun

Vergil unlike Dante seems to like debating and discussing

Something that was hard to do with Dante because he either brushed it off or was more prone to changing the subject

You don’t blame him for it, stuff like this wasn’t his forte

But it was nice having someone to talk to about it

The two of you start off at first with Blake

Interpretations of his poems meanings

Particular passages either of you enjoyed

That evolves into discussion of other poets

Poe, Dickinson, Shakespeare, Wilde, frost and Shelley

But it later devolves into world views

Specifically his opinion on humanity

Because despite the fact that Vergil is part human and his fully demon father married a mortal woman and seemingly abandoned that part of himself

Vergil ended up despising his humanity

Thinking of it as inferior to his demonic half

Well, maybe hate was a strong word but he definitely looked down on humans

Yourself included but maybe a bit less considering he was talking with you instead of scowling silently as he did before

He was the opposite of Dante in every way

While Dante embraced his humanity Vergil shunned his own

But Vergil accepted his demonic half whilst Dante still remained hesitant of it

One brother was loud, the other silent

One Red and one blue

One Warm and one cold

Complete and total opposites in every manner of the word

While you don’t agree with Vergils views you do try to understand them

You make the effort of understanding him because you think he deserves as much

Not only because he was important to Dante but because like Dante he also was your age

He was a kid like you are even if he tried to act mature

He thinks his mom abandoned him that day in favour of Dante

Telling him she didn’t wouldn’t change his mind especially from you of all people

A human who’d never met her or was there for that event

Especially if Dante had tried and still couldn’t get through to him

So instead you reason with him in other such ways

Sparda had sealed off the demon from the human world for a reason

Didn’t that indicate something to him?

Plus he was already powerful enough by every other standard possible

He could outmatch any human that came his way

He raised a god damn hell tower to prove it

He was already top of the proverbial food chain with enough power

Dipping his toes into this though could shift those tides

Admittedly you knew jack shit about hell and it’s hierarchy besides the small tidbits Dante explained

And even then those snippets of information were from the small stories his dad told when he was younger so it was dubious at best

You’re not sure if Mr. Sparda had sanitized stories for his sons or if he told them the truth and didn’t cushion the blow

But it safe to say even the most powerful of humans couldn’t compare to the upper crust of hell

Plus the added bonus of It being closed off for who knows how long giving an even bigger question mark as to what’s down there

Because if hell is anything like humanity things change and demons get stronger

For all he knows he could be inviting that Mundus guy his father went against to his doorstep

And seeing how Sparda apparently had a difficult time defeating him at full power the odds weren’t in anyone’s favour

That last part seems to shake him a bit more than you’d initially thought

You see the stone cold demeanour crack slightly

“Are you calling me weak?”

“I’m not, Far from it. But all I’m saying is that opening that portal is opening pandora’s box.” For a moment you pause watching his stewing expression “there’s no undoing it if you do and no telling what your unleashing on not only everyone else but yourself. Your not guaranteed anything from this, let alone the power you seek ”

Distantly if you listen hard enough you swear you hear gunshots ring out on the lower floors of the tower

The familiar rhythm and melody of ebony and ivory’s gunshots

You’d heard them too many times to be able to memorize the sound

But along with that your alerted to the fact that someone else besides Dante is in the tower

Something Vergil seems less than amused with

Not to mention the fact he looks like he’s perpetually 5 seconds away from stabbing that Arkham guy nearly any time the man opens his mouth

Something you can’t exactly complain about since you’d also found him plain weird

And that’s saying something

The only thing out that bald freak’s mouth that you agreed with was that a storm was approaching

Both physical and metaphorical as you sit when the rain begins to fall

Sitting atop this ancient tower of stone you can’t help but find some irony in it all

Sparda had sealed away this unholy tower to stop the passage from one world to the next

But ultimately it’s one of Sparda’s sons who tries to resurrect it and undo his fathers work while the other wants to topple it for humanity’s sake as his father did

It was like a twisted form of jenga with this Tower of Babel

With you unfortunately at the top of the tower waiting for it to topple

The moon hangs high in the sky, Illuminating the droplets that shine

The pale silver light reminding you of both of the twins hair

Dante’s is left down to frame his face, free and messy just like he is

Whilst Vergils is pushed back and sleek, professionalism and an air of confidence in it

Never had you been as relived in your life until that point when you see Dante’s knotted messy mop of hair

Slightly stained with blood and viscera that soon began to wash away under the rain

You can’t help but yell his name in sheer excitement, his eyes light up

Lurching forwards your stopped not only by the fact that your currently tied up with uncomfortable ass rope but also the fact that Vergil unsheathe his sword in front of you

A indignant huff escaping him

(From your yell or his brother your not sure…probably both considering him)

You see your reflection in the blade alongside the hollow presence of the moon

Her silent presence a small comfort in this entire situation despite her impartialness in helping

(You do not see the blue wearing brother glance down at you for the briefest of moments)

You can’t do anything but watch as the two fight

Blow after blow

Slash after slash

Round after round fired from ebony and ivory

All the while you stay huddled to the ground trying to desperately stay out the way

Your works cut out for you though on account the two seem to pivot away if they get too close

No matter if either was about to win Dante would pull back if either him or Vergil got too close to you for comfort

And you think even Vergil seemed to do the same for some reason

Maybe he wanted to kill you later or something

But the turning point comes and red stains the cold ground

Yamato impaling itself through Dante’s chest while you can only watch

You can’t help but scream his name again as he falls and the necklace is torn from his neck

The heirloom he seemed to only trust you with being stolen

Vergil smoothed his hair back under the rain in a comedically villain manner that takes you out of it for a moment

This is your life now

Captive atop a tower while two half demon brothers duked it out

Dante twitches, ready to get up but Vergil takes Dante’s own sword and stabs him with it

Vergil and Arkham talk for a moment but your too distracted to pay their words any attention

Not when your focused on Dante

and then a beam of light shoots out Dante’s sword and the sword changes?

And then Dante’s back up again

This all happens in the span of a couple minutes the while your gaping at the scene

Because a) you knew Dante had some type of magic deus ex machina bullshit but you didn’t know he could get stabbed multiple times and survive. Mind you, you’d seen him stabbed once or twice before and walk it off but several times in a row was something you didn’t expect him t just walk off either

plus b) all this time he could get impaled several times over and yet his ass would run like you were coming at him with a chainsaw when you were trying to whack him on the head with a broom a few days back

You don’t get much time to focus on that anymore

Not when Vergil picks you up and walks to the edge of the tower

All the while Dante stumbles to his feet

A bloodied cough erupting from his chest as he tried to stumble forwards with his arm outstretched to you

“Oh please god no, can’t you just take the stairs-“ before you get to finish your plea Vergil takes a leap off the tower with you firmly on his shoulder grasping him for dear life “DANTE!!”

Never had you thought that your life would end up like this

And it all came from a singular job ad

[tonyloon]

Huxloween 2024 - Day 6 -Fairy Tale- -Little Red Riding Hood- Another one inspired by  @huxloween 's wonderful promptlist <3 I know, a little silly, but the idea of Hux just intentionally getting in shady bars, so his guard dog has to come to the rescue amuses me

[orenreo-dsaf]

and then they passionately made out

[tallyhoot]

[_^

[im-resident]

"Melancholy" Kokushibo from demon Slayer Render I've been very busy working and practicing for some upcoming projects, So you will be seeing more background work from me in the future

[rocketarts]

Cuties <3

[klayr-de-gall]

Day 4 - Dungeons & Dragons

Imagine the most unhinged people playing D&D.

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It's finally time for AU-Gust! I am so excited to do this Prompt-List this year! I'm looking forward to a month of new art! Let's go

You can always join in with all kind of fanwork and fandom! Make sure to use the #AU-August2024 Tag, so I can find you!

As always, all entries for this week (Day 1 till Day 4) can be found on my Patreon already!

[My Social Media and Patreon]

Masterpost

[sharksfrommars]

The Love Curse pt. 2 - the Exes

had some more ideas for that love curse AU I had a week ago. Here’s an exhaustive list of all the exes the pines family had to deal with. :/

The Love Curse- the exes

The pines got a list of exes they each need to reconcile with. Once they had, the name would disappear off it. The curse would be lifted when all the names were gone.

DIPPER

Literally just the girls from Roadside Attraction. He’s got the easiest list. He essentially just mass emails most of the girls, they’re all like ‘lmao we were 12 and never spoke again, it ain’t that deep’ and they all get a laugh out of it.

With Candy specifically, they reconciled pretty much immediately so he just rolls up to her and is like ‘can I check you off this list’

MABEL

Mabel’s got slightly more to reconcile with. 

Her more recent exes are all pretty chill with her these days so they can be dealt with via messages. Even the bitter ones reconcile pretty much immediately. One guy thinks it’s a sign they’re meant to be. Dipper threatens to punch him.

Mermando. The pines go to the land of the mermaids and they meet mermando’s wife. 

Gabe. Mabel really doesn’t want to talk to this guy, but he’s on the list. He’s kinda snooty about the whole thing. Like ‘it’s alright, Mabel. Not everyone can be on my level when it comes to puppeteering.’  Mabel gets annoyed, so the pines have a puppet battle against him. They ruin all his puppet cred by outshining him.

FORD

this is where things start to get interesting…

Fiddleford McGucket. This one is easiest. They’ve already talked about a lot of their history, and McGucket already doesn’t hold it against Ford. It’s pretty easy, except for the killer robot. Naturally.

Random college librarian. Whilst at college, Ford decided that he should get a girlfriend. It was a completely logical decision driven by his mother’s constant questioning. He asked her out, and was the world’s worst boyfriend for 2 months before she broke up with him. She was crying. He was not. 

The pines find her and she’s married and a grandma now. Ford realises that despite the relationship meaning nothing to him, this poor girl got her heart shattered and it kind of changed her entire life. Ford apologises and all is forgiven. Stan shoots his shot with her, only to be elbowed by Ford.

The Siren. Ford asked him out more to study him than to date him. The siren also low-key wanted to eat Ford. It was mutually destructive. They broke up when Ford threatened to harpoon the siren. 

The pines end up on a quest to save siren society from the evils of fascism . Turns out the siren ended up the head of a siren rebellion group, so they go raid the siren capital and do a siren coup. The siren recognises Ford didn’t want to be eaten, and Ford recognises that maybe he kind of emotionally manipulated the siren for science. They end on good enough terms, even after the siren asks of he can eat Stan.

Jheselbraum the Unswerving. They had a beautiful night in Dimention 52, and casually saw eachother whilst Ford stayed there. They ended on good terms.

The pines end up at D-52 to talk to her. Jhes is happy to see Ford, and to meet the rest of them. Ford has to confront his obsession with cipher. He has to recognise that he could have chosen to have a life of his own if he moved on, and he didn’t. Jhes gets it though. It took her millennia to get over her complicated relationship with Cipher. The pines get to experience partying on D-52. Mabel takes notes.

BILL CIPHER. Ford doesn’t mention this one to his family, and instead pretends it’s not on the list. Bill’s dead, right? Or as good as. His family doesn’t need to know. He doesn’t want to have to confront the nature of their relationship infront of the family. Not yet at least. 

STAN

oh BOY does Stan have exes. 

Lazy Susan. This one isn’t that deep. But Stan did kind of run out of their one date and never address it. Mabel has to literally DRAG Stan to Greasy’s so they can talk about it. Susan says she’s been on worse dates and they all laugh about it in the end. Mabel makes a play for free pancakes.

Beatrice. Obscure pull with not much (thanks gravity falls wiki), Stan mentioned to dipper that she slapped him for “being a cad”. Cus we don’t know shit, I’m gonna just make stuff up. Stan seduced her whilst she was married to her ex husband. Stan was fully aware of this, he just wanted something he couldn’t have. Unfortunately for the both of them, Beatrice decided to choose Stan over her husband and she left him. Stan was happy for a while, but now that he had her, a lot of the charm wore off. Stan and Beatrice were in a sad relationship where Stan’s eyes would wander and Beatrice would cry about it. One day, Stan was flirting with some other girls. She saw and so she slapped him and they broke up.

Stan and the family find her in a witches coven. Apparently, her husband wouldn’t take her back, so she decided to swear off men forever and become a witch. She curses Stan to be a child because he ‘acts like one.’ Shenanigans ensue. Dipper eventually manages to convince the witches coven to go easy on Stan by becoming one. Stan manages to apologise and make amends to Beatrice, but apparently cus dipper’s a witch now, he can’t leave. Not that that means anything to the Pines, who steal dipper back and run as fast as possible. The only thing that changes is that dipper has a witch hat now.

Marilyn Fakenamé. Time for a REAL witch. Marilyn was Stan’s vegas wife. She stole his wallet. The only thing Stan wants is to get his wallet back. It was a nice wallet! (He stole it.) Stan genuinely had feelings for her, but it seems she didn’t feel the same way.

Ford built machine that could track the exes listed. For Marilyn, it pointed to Gravesfield, Connecticut. When they got there, they could not find a ‘Marilyn’ anywhere. It’s a whole thing, but Ford detects an anomaly and naturally, the Pines’ get distracted AF. 

When they finally figure out that ‘Marilyn’ was pseudonym, Ford and dipper stare at Stan like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. Dipper and Mabel eventually manage to speak to Camilla, who points them to the abandoned house, leading them to the boiling isles, and finally to Eda. The MOST shenanigans occurred, before they finally reconcile.  Ford spends the entire time at the boiling isles making notes. He nearly dies about 5 times doing this. Also Luz and Mabel are besties.

Natalia Annika Önnanövv. She was a Cold War spy, sent to the Mystery Shack in the 80s. She was assigned to one Stanford Pines, a genius scientist suspected to have made a mind control device, specifically one used by Ronald Reagan’s handlers. Obviously, a country like Natalia’s had great need for technology like that. Unfortunately, Ford was already in the portal, so none of Natalia’s investigations lead to anything. So she decided to seduce him. Stan fell for it hook line and sinker, and they dated for 2 years. But it turned out Stan could keep a secret, so she never found out about the portal. 

Natalia realised Stan was keeping secrets so she played the long game. During which, she fell in love. She loved the way he’d scratch his butt then eat food without washing his hands. They went steady, until Natalia’s country fell. She realised she was a target, that she couldn’t stay with Stan, so she ran. Stan ran after her, said he loved her. She needed him to stay away. So she said she never actually loved him, that she was just using him for his science. Stan stormed off and they never spoke again.

The pines find her when she randomly reappears at the mystery shack. Turns out she hid a ‘weapon of mass destruction’ at the mystery shack. She already knew everyone’s names, which freaked Dipper out. Dipper immediately doesn’t trust her and assumes she’s out to use Stan again. The pines get caught up in international heist shenanigans, and end up bonding with her. She and Stan spend one beautiful night together and they reconcile. Eventually they find this ‘weapon’. It’s Vladimir Putin’s baby photos.

Jimmy Snakes. From the days when Stan was in a motorcycle gang. They were lovers, until Stan ended up snitching after taking the fall for a heist. Stan traded his gang mates for a way out. That’s why he’s banned from Arizona.

The pines end up in Arizona, looking for snakes. Dipper and Mabel end up separated from the grunks, and accidentally join Snakes’ biker gang. It’s a whole thing. Mabel gets a leather jacket, dipper does the Akira slide and falls off, they both get matching bikes. Jimmy really takes a liking to them. He decides to get them involved in the next heist. A train robbery.

Meanwhile Stan and Ford are having a mental breakdown trying to find the kids. They decide to take a train to the next town over. The very train they are heisting. During the heist, the pines meet up again, and Stan sees Jimmy Snakes after all these years. They all manage to pull off the heist (with the help of Mabel’s grappling hook), and Stan and Jimmy have a heart to heart. Stan tells Jimmy that he was young and scared, but he really did love him for a long time. Jimmy calls off the hit on Stan, so he’s allowed back in Arizona to visit now. Mabel and dipper shrink down the motorbikes and keep them in their pockets for a rainy day.

Sandra Sweetmeadow. She was a sweet girl from Pennsylvania, back when Stan was trying to sell the StanVac. He knocked on her door and it was love at first sight. Unfortunately, she was Amish, and her parents told Stan to scram with his ‘Sinful electromajigs’. But Stan snuck back at night to serenade her at her window like in Romeo and Juliet. They were steady for a few months before Stan popped the question. She introduced him properly to her parents, who disapproved of Stan’s ‘sinful flashy gold chains’. Sandra ultimately agreed, but she still wanted to marry him. She asked Stan to give up the chains and the gambling and his bad boy ways for her. Stan said no and they argued. Then Stan left her a week before the wedding. 3 months later he was banned from Pennsylvania.

The Pines arrive at a medium sized house in suburban Philadelphia. Sandra lived there with her daughter. Apparently, after Stan had left, she realised she wanted to be with him, regardless of the gold chains, so she went looking for him. By the time she set off, Stan was already two states away with a different name. She eventually got married, had a daughter, and then got divorced. Stan was still annoyed. It honestly pissed him off. He told Sandra that he didn’t appreciate the fact that she thought he needed to change to be ‘good enough’ for her. They argued loudly, and it seemed like reconciliation wouldn’t be possible. Apparently she really hit a nerve.

Mabel, dipper and Ford decide they need to Do Something about it. They team up with Sandra’s daughter and they make a plan to force them to actually talk. They trick them both into drinking a truth potion, and force them to have a heart to heart. Eventually they talk it out and reconcile.

Burline. She left her ring at the mystery shack in the 90s. Stan put it on, and hasn’t managed to take it off since. Apparently that counts as a relationship? Stan goes to meet this Burline with Dipper. They can’t get the ring off, so dipper has to go on a quest to figure it out. Once they get the ring off, they apparently ‘reconciled ’. They also had to sign fae divorce papers. Turns out the ring was Fae, and dipper has to use Fae rules to get the divorce to happen. Burline has no clue where she got the ring and has no attachment to it, so she lets Dipper keep it.

Brenda Chuggins. She had freakishly large thumbs. Something about that made Stan nostalgic so he decided to hire her for the mystery shack’s new freak show. It was perfect, and Brenda was pretty too. They started going out. On day 2, Jimmy snake’s estranged younger brother Johnny turned up looking for a job. Stan barely knew him, but he figured Johnny could pass as a freak. He had bright green hair and a split tongue. There was definitely a story for Stan to make there. Johnny and Brenda hit it off, and at first it was all good. That night they all slept together and Stan thought it was great. The next day, Brenda and Johnny had run off together, deciding they liked each other more than either of them liked Stan. So Stan was missing out on talent AND a lover.

Stan and co find Brenda in New Jersey, at the glass hard beach freak show. Honestly, it was the last place Stan expected to see her. She had married Johnny Snakes, and they seemed to be living their best life. Stan asked Brenda where he went wrong, but she and Johnny had gotten REALLY into the mysterious carny thing so they made stan and Ford go on a whole fetch quest to catch the jersey devil. They end up meeting the jersey devil again, but Mabel and dipper got their first. They’re having a tea party. Mabel’s idea. Brenda finally admits that she quite frankly didn’t see the kind of future she wanted at the mystery shack. But she did with Johnny. Stan accepted that. Then Brenda and Johnny invited Stan over for the night. Dipper wanted to melt hearing that.

Carla McCorkle. After breaking up with Stan, she dated thistle down. She travelled with him on tour until she found out he was cheating on her. So she broke up with him and took on the Feminist cause. She dated a woman for a long time, first as a political thing, but then for real as they both realised their feelings. They adopted about 5 cats and 2 dogs. Then, tragically, her partner died of cancer. Since then, she lived on her own, spending time with her friends from the 70s, and working at Hot Belgian Waffles at Glass Shard Beach.

The pines weren’t expecting to find Carla at Hot Belgian Waffles. Mabel just noticed it and laughed, and dipper said they HAD to go in now. When Stan walked in, Carla dropped her tray. She pointed at Stan and said “YOU’RE DEAD!” Stan and Ford had to spend a good 3 hours explaining the whole sorry tale to Carla. She clearly didn’t believe a word. But regardless, she told them her life story. Stan offered to buy the film rights for $20. He said it was like ‘the Duchess Approves’. No one got it. Dipper asked her what it was like being brainwashed into dating a musician. That got a glare.

Stan and Carla talked about their relationship. They were just dumb kids really, they didn’t fully understand themselves or their feelings. And the fact was, they had both grown and changed so much since they had last saw each other. Now, they found they could laugh about the things that seemed so serious, like old friends do. It occurred to Stan, that maybe that was the point. He had so many exes since Carla, and maybe because of that, he was pretty much a different person. If he had to deal with Thistle Down today, he wouldn’t drive his car into a ravine. He’d just shit in his front seat.

[fairytwles]

they're gonna crucify me anyway⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯‎‎‎‎‎what if the way you hold me....

....is actually what's holy?⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

⎯if long-suffering propriety is what they want from me

they don't know how you've haunted me⎯⎯⎯⎯

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯so stunningly......

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯I choose you and me....

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯religiously….

[klaviersunderworld]

whatever, go my yuri

[picklesthenonbeanary]

Finally finished that fanart I’ve been working on! Yippee!

Fanart of cutler from the comic papercut please go check it out, it’s awesome

Character belongs to @sonyshock

Bonus versions because I can, transparent png and a version without colored lineart

[azure-horizons]

cringetober #8 THE tumblr sexyman, Cecil Gershwin Palmer

[ellearts]

George Russell when he heard that Lewis was leaving Mercedes

[mas0njar]

[erial-c]

my top ten redacted boys (because i am but a bandwagoner of trends)

1. sam - took me a bit to like him ( haven't even finished his playlist yet) but god his character hurts me, he and darlin have gone through so much shit . the video talking about the future with your vampire mate basically sealed the deal on him being my favorite character, and after reading one of the bright eyes series transcripts, it makes me even more interested in his character . (and his southern accent may or may not have awakened something in me)

2. avior - is it obvious i like tragic characters yet . his series is one of the first ones i've listened to fully, and the chokehold that the plot twist had on me was insane . the realization that he had loved starlight so much that he deus ex machina'd them out of the hellscape, and then was silently YEARNING when they were pulled back . i was sobbing you don't understand officer. also love his early sarcastic personality (despite it being a facade) and his constant need to wax poetic, i wish we still saw a little bit of that in his newer audios though

3. guy - ohh the love of my life . the only comfort character ever . babygirl . he does exude millennial cringe sometimes but i can gloss over all that because i love him  🫶🫶🫶 also love his dynamic with honey they r so cute together . his flashback audio is so good AUGGHH the tension . personal favorite audio of him though is his first sick video , because i am THE guy angst enthusiast and it's the closest i'll ever get to it . he is sooo silly idc i always binge his playlist when i can't sleep (ironically i always listen to the one where he attempts to help honey sleep and it works 🫶)

4. lasko - babygirl #2 🤞🤞🤞 love him he is just an overall sweet character . i've also said this before but, him being labelled early on as submissive irked me because i usually found those character tropes annoying and they tended to be infantilized . but the thing is with lasko its not his entire characterization , he's still a very good professor at the academy and ughhhqhh i know how 2explain it i jst love him (also. his slip up in the hot boi summer audio. he is freaky .)

5. geordi - his and cutie's story is so interesting . i love their storyline so much even if it hurts to listen to the audios . they're both flawed characters in a relationship but they're still taking the necessary steps to be better. additionally, while i definitely don't stand for the shit cutie did, i can relate to them in the sense of needing to know what people are thinking to function properly, which is probably another reason why geordi and his storyline hits so close to my heart . (is that corny. maybe)

6. asher - one of the reasons im in the fandom tbh !! he's one of the first characters i got into, specifically his valenweek flashback audio i ate that shit up . . i don't listen to him that much now but still !!! i owe me being here to his character lol

7. hush - creature/babygirl . i was kinda intimidated to listen to his playlist (for god's sake his title is "mysterious stranger") but ohhhh i love him he is so strange. tying doc up in one video and then asking them to hold his hand a few videos later??? love that . him showing up in carpe deus and fucking wrecking vega kinda sealed it for me . love theorizing about him too, if that's not obvious 🫶

8. porter - when i heard the voice that this character had. i can't even explain to you what my reaction was . he's such a fucking diva i love it so much , this guy is like 80% snark, and he just fucks with vincent for no reason .(when he said he was gonna bring treasure to the summit but didn't 😭) he's also so interesting . while ya he was sent to go to the summit and assassinate a clan king (which he succeeded in) he told sweetheart about the bennets discussing their partnership with closeknit so they could get necessary info, he provided an alibi for vincent, he also stopped grilling sam when darlin told him to . (also his 2nd video with treasure . killed me tbh)

9. marcus - not proud to admit that marcus is the first character i came across on erik's channel . marcus is weirdo number 1 (derogatory) and i just find his storyline so interesting. yeah its sad why he did what he did, but overall he knew what he was doing , he fucked everyone else over, and compromised a project, of which the failure could mean life and death, just because he wanted to get freaky with the robot . his obsession and little impulse control being overrun by the asset's obsession with him. GOD . . the satisfaction i felt when he was taken away 🫶

10. caller - weirdo (compliment) . again as a horror enthusiast i love this guy . he's like ghostface but if ghostface could phase through walls/was already in your house (and also weird and obsessive) . his audio made me have the same reaction when watching horror content : "holy shit i love this but also i hate this" 10/10 . he's only last because he has one (1) video . 💔

honorable mention:

gavin - GAVIN LOVE OF MY LIFFEEEE . i really did wanna put him on my list but i haven't listened to the freelancer series properly yet!!!! this is not a matter of him being my least favorite but rather not knowing much about him in depth yet !!!!