#been sitting on this once since april 2021
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—Julio Cortázar, Hopscotch (trans. Gregory Rabassa)
#rayllum#rayllumedit#storm motif#subset: salvation and destruction#quotes#my edits#graphics#multi#pining!callum#been sitting on this once since april 2021#feels organic feels right
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IDK that I've ever put it in one post before, but here's the transplant speedrun.
1 - Valentines day 2021, he's admitted to the hospital. We take a pre-hospital selfie then I shave his head and he shaves his beard because he doesn't want to deal with hair at the hospital. Me and his mom drop him off; at that point you can only visit someone as they are actually dying and we're told that he's going to stay in the hospital until he gets a transplant or he dies, and if he's rejected as a transplant recipient he'll receive palliative care in this hospital.
2 - First week of March, they allow patients to have one screened visitor; this is our first visit - I take photos in the hospital to show his mom because at this point he has a pump in his shoulder and it is difficult for him to move his arms to use his phone. He has also been confined to a bed since the week he arrived because he's on the ECMO machine, so he can't walk or move around, though they stand him up every once in a while. At one point one of the ecmo tubes pulls out of his femoral artery, which is Not! Great! He also needed a blood transfusion about every two days at that point, which worried the doctors because it increased his likelihood of rejecting. But he had been approved for transplant at that point!
The first thing he said to me on this visit was "look, I have abs" and then he showed me his abs because it turns out when you're really really dying of heart failure your body begins to eat itself.
3 - Now That's What I Call Jaundice (cardiac cirrhosis is liver failure as a result of heart failure and it's pretty much the big giant neon flashing sign of heart failure that says "hey you're fucking dying" so if you've got heart failure and your bilirubin number is off or the whites of your eyes are yellow please kick up a gigantic stink until they check your liver; large bastard's GP, who is my doctor, who I hate, saw his bloodwork with a very high bilirubin number a month before he was diagnosed with cardiac cirrhosis and wrote it off as a testing fluke fuck that guy)
4 - Don't let the sad face fool you, he's acting pathetic so that his mom will stop yelling about the fact that I'm bringing him cookies. He's allowed to have cookies. At that point he weighed 98kg and was outsourcing his heartbeat, he was allowed to eat whatever he wanted. (have i mentioned that I was moving us from Vegas to LA at this time? I was bringing him cookies because I'd baked hundreds of peanut butter cookies and other cookies to use up the flour, sugar, and peanut butter in the vegas house)
5 - Mid-march, he's got a match! He called me when I was in Vegas filling up the truck with another load and I drove right back and to the hospital. Once he went in for surgery I drove to his mom's house and crashed, then woke up and drove to our storage unit and unpacked the truck while I waited to hear from the doctors. I was unloading a bookcase when I got the call. (There wasn't any point in waiting alone in the hospital for sixteen hours; either he was going to make it or he wasn't and someone was going to have to unload the truck at some point. People have been weird about this, like I should have been sitting at his side all the time, but there was a two-hour daily limit for most visits and look i have sat in a waiting room while this dude had a thirteen hour surgery i do not need a repeat of that experience without the soothing balm of nicotine getting me through it; so unloading a truck it was)
6 - Two days after surgery and kind of mad about it. His chest hurt a lot (obviously) but, like, a lot a lot because they'd had to open him up for the bypass just two years earlier.
7 - First walk outside of his room after transplant in early April; he needed a LOT of PT because of how much muscle he'd lost. He lost sixty pounds in the hospital before the surgery, and only gained back about twenty while he was in there.
8 - A visit from the tiny doggo
9 - I come to visit and I've got a new phone with a portrait mode so he steals it and takes stupid pictures for a few minutes. Dude is bored and restless; this is in late april and he's feeling well enough to be moody. ETA: There is a jar of pickles in front of him because he'd been fluid limited for a long time and his salt levels were off and when he got to the hospital they were like "you need electrolytes and a lot of salt" and he was like "sweetheart can you please please please bring me delicious salty things" so I was bringing him jars of pickled mushrooms and garlic stuffed olives and just a huge number of pickles that he kept trying to share with the nurses. "Alli brought the mushrooms again; would you like a pickled mushroom? I have fancy toothpicks to share them with!"
10 - He comes home for the first time in early May; he ends up getting readmitted two more times because of complications before finally being released in early July. ETA: The second time he got readmitted it was for something that he wasn't at all worried about but that they needed to monitor for a couple weeks so he was *SO BORED* and actually feeling pretty okay; so at one point when I was leaving the parking garage at 8pm my car wouldn't start, I did some troubleshooting with the manual and the internet and didn't figure it out, so I called him and he tried to troubleshoot over the phone and got frustrated and was begging his nurses to let him come out to the parking structure to work on my car (they refused) - I ended up getting a tow and fixing it when I replaced the battery terminals.
Photos are all posted with his permission.
Also I dyed my hair purple between photos one and two because it's his favorite color. I also bought a blue dress, red tights, and yellow shoes to wear to visit him because he always teases me for wearing so much black.
I just love him a lot. It was a hard couple years there, but things are getting better.
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new friends
April 25, 2021
Hayden was sitting in her stall before practice started and was starting to get ready for practice when Connor walked in with their new teammate, Ryan Mcleod
“Hayden this Ryan, Ryan this Hayden.” Connor introduced the two as he had a feeling they would get along well and that’s also the reason why Ryan’s stall is on the other side of Hayden’s stall as Connor had asked the team to do that.
“Thank god there is someone near my age now.” Hayden grinned mischievously as she stood up and shook hands with Ryan.
Ryan laughed at her teasing, “It nice to meet you.”
“You too.” Hayden smiled back she really was excited to have him join the team because she really doesn’t have anyone that’s close to her age on the team and Ryan is only a year older than her.
Hayden and Ryan sat down and started getting ready for practice but were talking to each other the entire time.
Connor and Leon shared a small smile seeing Hayden getting along with Ryan immediately and had a feeling the two would become good friends.
Ryan stayed close with Hayden the entire time since he met her and during practice he stayed close to her as well. Hayden didn’t seem to mind at all if anything she was enjoying having a teammate close to her age again.
Once practice was over Hayden showed Ryan around the rest of the arena before taking him to the kitchen for a post workout meal.
Hayden and Ryan sat down together and continued talking as they ate lunch together.
“So where are you staying?” Hayden asked curiously as they stood up after eating, she knew some of the newer players stay at the team’s hotel or with a teammate.
“A hotel for now.” Ryan answered throwing his trash away and walked out of the room with Hayden.
Hayden bit her lip and decided to do something different, “You can stay with me?” Hayden offered as she had more than enough room and the season is almost over and then it’s just playoffs.
“You don’t have to do that.” Ryan sputtered out after being shocked from Hayden’s kind offer.
“Really i have enough room and it would be cool to have a roommate for a little while.” Hayden offered again, she knew how much staying in hotels suck and if she can help a teammate out she will.
“Really you wouldn’t mind?” Ryan asked in disbelief also looking hopeful he won’t have to stay in a hotel for the rest of the season.
“Not at all.” Hayden smiled reassuringly, she knew she was gonna become good friends with Ryan and she remembered how her parents use to always easily offered a spare room for teammates.
“Thank you.” Ryan told her relieved and grate for how kind Hayden has been to him already.
“Of course. You’re my teammate now and we help out each other.” Hayden grinned at Ryan.
“Come on you got to meet Arch.” Hayden grabbed Ryan’s arm and started taking him out of the arena and to her car.
“Who’s Arch?” Ryan asked curiously as he willingly let her pull him around.
“My dog, Archie.” Hayden proudly told her new teammate and new friend.
Ryan’s face lite up, “I love dogs.” Ryan grinned excitedly to meet her dog.
“I knew we were gonna get along well.” Hayden grinned approvingly at Ryan for his love of dogs making him laugh.
#haydenblakeau#luke hughes#jack hughes#quinn hughes#nhl x oc#nhl au#jack hughes x oc#quinn hughes x oc#luke hughes x oc#new jersey devils#matt boldy#trevor zegras#trevor zegras x oc#cole caufield x oc#cole caufield#alex turcotte#nhl#nhl blurbs#nhl blurb#connor mcdavid#connor bedard#macklin celebrini#will smith hockey#leon draisaitl#zach hyman#ryan mcleod#ryan nugent hopkins#vancouver canucks#edmonton oilers#kailer yamamoto
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Once Kaia's parents start interferring in her relationships, it's usually game over.
But look at these headlines:
https://www.usmagazine.com/celebrity-news/news/cindy-crawford-rande-gerber-adore-kaias-bf-jacob-elordi/
--they broke up a few months after
https://www.lifeandstylemag.com/posts/kaia-gerbers-mom-cindy-crawford-wont-let-austin-butler-go-excl/
-- a lot of people already feel Austin and Kaia have split
Cindy and Rande "adore" Kaia's boyfriend Jacob. Cindy and Rande think Austin is "perfect" son in law material....
I sense a pattern. As soon as her parents get involved, that's when things go wrong. Which is good for Austin. RUN FROM THAT FAMILY SIR!
Girl, you hit the nail on the head. We all know where this relationship is heading eventually. We just need to sit back, and wait to see how it all unfolds.
Funny, this article (above) about Kaia and Elordi was put out in April 2021. They broke up 7 months later in November. That just goes to show how quickly things can change lol. 🤭
Yea, seems like the same thing all over again.
Look at these articles (and the photos 👀) that came out right before (and after) the Kaia/Elordi split:
(6 months before their split)
(2 months before their split)
🤭
.
At least Jacob was with her on her birthday lol 👀🤭
.
Lol @ "loving gazes" 😂
(A month right before their split)
https://www.justjared.com/2021/10/11/kaia-gerber-jacob-elordi-run-errands-at-a-pet-store-in-la/
(Right after their breakup)
Hmm, funny -- just like her current relationship. 👀🤔
Interestingly, even her relationship with Elordi didn't seem to have as much drama right before they split. They seemed to split abruptly almost out of the blue lol.
Compare that with the crazy stuff that's been coming out about Kaustin just this year. 😵��💫
But yea girl, I agree. Austin needs to RUN!
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Welcome back to the TVA.
In 2021, Marvel journeyed into the multiverse with the decade-hopping Disney+ series Loki, an ambitious, trippy saga centering on Tom Hiddleston's God of Mischief. The six-episode first season followed Loki as he teamed up with Owen Wilson's Mobius and��Sophia Di Martino's Sylvie to investigate the mysterious Time Variance Authority, uncovering dark secrets along the way. Now, the hit Marvel series is adding a familiar face in its second season: Oscar winner Ke Huy Quan, who joins the cast as TVA tech expert OB.
Season 2 (premiering Oct. 6 on Disney+) finds Loki and Mobius trekking into the deepest bowels of the TVA, seeking help from Quan's quirky repair guy. OB works in the repairs and advancement department, and his office is stuffed in the basement, a sprawling mishmash of gadgets and gizmos.
"His job is basically every piece of tech, every computer, every thing that is running at the TVA," co-executive producer Kevin Wright tells EW. "He either designed it, or he fixes it and keeps it running."
Tom Hiddleston, Ke Huy Quan, and Owen Wilson in 'Loki' season 2
| CREDIT: GARETH GATRELL/MARVEL
Quan, of course, is no stranger to trippy, universe-hopping stories, winning an Oscar earlier this year for Everything Everywhere All at Once. Wright tells EW it was celebrated Marvel casting director Sarah Halley Finn who first suggested Quan for Loki, having caught an early screening of the film. It was April, and Everything Everywhere was about to open wide across the country, so Marvel scrambled to make Quan an offer immediately — knowing that his schedule was about to fill up.
"I think Kevin Feige made a call maybe April 12, just to follow up and say, 'Please, please do this,'" Wright says with a laugh. "Little did we know, Ke is apparently already a giant Marvel fan and was a big fan of Loki season 1."
EW spoke to Quan in August 2022, immediately after his Loki role was first revealed at Disney's D23 Expo. Stepping offstage, the giddy actor admitted that he'd been keeping the role secret even from his family.
"I've been fantasizing about this for many, many years," Quan told EW at the time, "all the way back to when the first Iron Man came out. I saw all the movies in the theaters. I've seen all the films. I constantly watch on YouTube how passionate and enthusiastic these fans are. So to be up on stage today with Sophia and Tom and Owen and Kevin and to be on the receiving end of that… it's just been incredible."
Since the launch of shows like WandaVision and Ms. Marvel, Marvel has built a minor TV empire on Disney+, with multiple new shows still in the works. But Loki is the first Marvel Disney+ show to get a true second season, and Wright says he and the creative team wanted to continue to embrace the storytelling possibilities of episodic television. Season 1 took time to luxuriate in quieter, character-driven moments — like long scenes of Hiddleston and Wilson together, just talking. Wright promises that season 2 will continue to do the same. (In fact, he says, the unlikely buddy-cop friendship between Loki and Mobius is the season's "bread and butter.")
"In our [Marvel] movies, sometimes you have to keep moving forward very rapidly to get to the next thing," Wright explains. "Here, it's like: 'No, we can sit in these moments.' And dramatically, that's an exciting thing."
Season 2 will also find Loki, Sylvie, and Mobius coming up against a new but familiar nemesis: Victor Timely (Jonathan Majors), a brilliant industrialist and inventor living in the early 1900s. Like the menacing He Who Remains, who debuted in the first season finale, Timely is a variant of Kang the Conqueror, a dimension-hopping villain who takes many forms. Majors' version of Timely will play a major role in Loki season 2, even as the actor faces off-screen legal troubles.
"Victor Timely is somebody that we are very, very excited about," Wright says. "When you look at Kang, he has a very funny comic backstory. He has all these iterations. Timely was one that we've always wanted to do in Loki. And I think we're really excited about how that integrates into the season. It's a big part of the show."
Above all, Wright promises that Loki's second season will continue to embrace the weirdness of the first. The upcoming six episodes will zip throughout space and time, stretching from the 1893 Chicago World's Fair to the fluorescent lights of a 1980s McDonald's. After all, this is the show that gave us Alligator Loki and sentient floating clock mascot.
"We made a weird show [in season 1], and people responded to how weird it was," Wright explains. "So, we wanted to push it further."
Loki season 2 will premiere Oct. 6 on Disney+.
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Tumblr, AI, and The Impossible Year
I'm very disappointed by the news that Tumblr's content is going to be used to train AI. with a default Opt-In and questionable means of opting out. As an artist, this is something I cannot abide. From January 1, 2012 to January 1, 2014 I shot and posted a Polaroid photograph a day to this site, and when the pandemic hit in 2020 I resumed in April of that year and carried through (although less strictly) until May of 2021.
This was all posted to theimpossibleyear.tumblr.com / theimpossibleyear.com. It was a personal blog, and a deeply personal project. I showed what I was doing every day for multiple years.
There are literally hundreds of people featured throughout this project. Friends, family, colleagues, some of whom I had fallings out with, and some whom have since passed away.
These folks did not consent to have their likenesses used to train facial recognition algorithms or AI image generators. According to US copyright law, I am the owner to the photographs, and I can sublicense them however I want. I'm not keen on Tumblr doing the same. And while social media sites like Tumblr always had the rights to do things like this in their privacy policies, tools like Dall-E and Midjourney didn't exist at the time, and I never conceived of such a thing. My personal views on AI aside, I don't think allowing the likenesses of these folks to be bought and sold in such a way without their consent is ethical. Hypothetically I could reach out to every single one of them (or at least those still living) and ask for their consent, but aside from the tedium and awkwardness of having to repeatedly have that conversation, including with some folks I no longer associate with, I simply don't want to.
Additionally, I don't believe most folks really understand machine learning algorithms, large language models, and AI image generators, and I think honestly, it would be extremely hard to get informed consent for such a matter, and I sincerely believe most people would say 'No' if they understood it.
I believe artists should be compensated for their work, and I believe when that work is used for profit that the subjects of such work either need to have consented to that first. And, through that lens, the entitled beliefs of the people behind corporations like Open-AI and Midjourney, that they should be able to train off this work for free absolutely disgusts me. And I am disheartened to see Tumblr go the same route.
I do believe there are positive sides to AI, I do believe it is somewhat inevitable, but I do not believe the ends justify these means.
While I believe strongly in the public domain and creative commons, and I think US copyright law is deeply broken, I also know how hard it is to make a living as an artist. I will not I cannot sit by and just allow my own work, my own memories, my friends, family, and loved ones to be used as a tool to enrich billionaires at the expense of small creators.
I used to think that when I died I wanted all of my creative works to be willed into the public domain for the good of everyone. Now I'm not so sure. As such, I will be removing my content from Tumblr in the coming weeks. As I write this I'm importing the content of theimpossibleyear.tumblr.com to a self hosted server and theimpossibleyear.com is redirecting there. Once I am sure it's been successfully migrated I'll remove all of the content from Tumblr for good.
I know relocated content can still be scraped by AI bots against my will. But I'm considering ways of disabling crawlers, making it password protected and/or parsing all of the images through Nightshade or some other tool. At the very least I’ll have made my terms clear. I'm still figuring out what to do with this blog. It will eventually go away, but I have yet to decide what will happen with the content. Either way, this sucks. I am so tired.
#ai#midjourney#tumblr#polaroid#open-ai#ai art#theft#matt mullenweg#automattic#subism#the impossible year
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Be warned this is gonna be long i apologize in advance, but this is all just me giving a massive kudos to you and your work. I’m so happy to see this updated thank you for your hard work and talented writing.
*inhales*
*exhales*
After reading interlude ii for CMC and as usual I loved it to bits but also I AM SUDDENLY CONFLICTED? With BOTH SIDES????? The whole time I was like “Yeah Sidney take the fucking L” but now that we have the full detailed story of how it led up to that moment, suddenly the situation is so much more complicated. HE ACTUALLY WAS READY AT THE LAST MOMENT OH GOD HE WAS GOING TO DO ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING TO MAKE IT UP TO HER AND THE BABY HE WAS READY TO BE A PARTNER AND DAD-
And now my head is in my hands as I think: ‘Oh my god. Reader didn’t give him a chance to be a dad to Lucas for NEARLY SEVEN YEARS (even though she was justifiably pissed at him) AND HE THOUGHT HIS BABY WAS GONE’
And, please hear me out. The pregnancy and the actual birth of the baby are two different parts of the process. It’s different for everyone, but sometimes it takes a few weeks or months for the parents to feel a connection with their baby once they’re born; It’s actually quite common among parents. Same goes for the pregnancy term. It’s fucking scary, raising a child; You’re not just living your life for yourself, you’re living your life for the best interest of your child. And while there’s absolutely no excuse for Sid and his emotional distance/neglect (believe me when I say I still want to sock him in the face for his initial reaction), it does bring perspective at to why he reacted that way. Correct me if I’m wrong, but he was scared that his commitment to his career would end up hurting his kid, not being able to be there for them. Of course, dumbass man sucked at communicating that to Reader properly huh
But he did come back. He did return. He was ready to begin repenting. Lucas wasn’t even born yet and he was ready to do right by him and Reader both.
Suddenly I am now in full panic mode because once Lucas gets older enough to question why did his mom keep him away from his dad if both parents loved and wanted him from the start. And I know reader said in previous chapters that everything she did was for her son and his happiness and safety which is an absolute HELL YES THAT’S WHAT BEING A PARENT IS ABOUT, but did she ever consider the possibility that keeping them both hidden away from Sid would potentially hurt all of them more than it would help? Lucas never got to meet the other side of the family; Troy and Trina never got to be grandparents, Taylor never got to be an aunt. They weren’t able to see Lucas grow up, and I just know they would’ve loved him the moment they were told of his existence.
Am I allowed to feel angry at both Sid and Reader? I am so sorry I… just love this story so much, I’ve never felt so many emotions reading before. Please correct me if I’m wrong in any way.
first of all, ily oh gosh. i never expect a comment this long from anyone but omg thank you!! i appreciate you taking the time to lmk which part/s u like/impacted u most 🥺 not lying when i say i was smiling as i read it entirely it’s truly fulfilling to come across a reader as passionate as u so endless thanks my dear 🫶🏻
second, ALL FEELINGS ARE VALID! i honestly can’t wait for them to be happy why can’t they just sit together and talk things out it’s not that hard 😭 had enough of little lukey having to bear poor adult choices!!
to clarify tho, since i’ve been mia on here and on the updates, the series was supposed to be done in 2022 😫 so our timeline for cmc would be that it’s still 2021 going 2022 (refer to teaser #3).
for everyone to be on the same page, allow me to recapitulate:
april 2015
refer to teaser #1
sidney is 27 yrs. turning 28 yrs. in aug
reader is 26 yrs.
first month of summer, 2015
june: reader finds out she’s pregnant
july: miscarriage scare; sid and reader break up before kris’ wedding
post breakup, 2015-2016
sidney wins the cup, oct 2015 to june 2016
post breakup, 2016
january: luke is born on 6th of january (kind of like his dad’s bday 8.7.87 = 1.6.16)
post breakup, 2016-2017
sidney wins another cup, oct 2016 to april 2017
post breakup, 2019
reader moves back to pittsburgh; hides sid’s son
post break up, 2021 [we’ll go back to this timeline on ch. 6]
sidney is 33 yrs. going 34 yrs. (refer to teaser #2)
reader is 31 going 32
luke is 5 yrs. a few months older than geno’s son, nikita
minimum age requirement for sid’s little penguins hockey is 5 yrs.
luke enters hockey program, meets sidney; sidney meets luke and reader
timeline for ch. 6 until stated otherwise
ANYWAY, i’m so excited we’re now on the second half of the series!!! ✨and the plot thickens✨
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Meet OB, Ke Huy Quan's quirky repair guy in Loki season 2
Executive producer Kevin Wright promises even more weirdness in season 2 of the hit Marvel series.
Welcome back to the TVA.
In 2021, Marvel journeyed into the multiverse with the decade-hopping Disney+ series Loki, an ambitious, trippy saga centering on Tom Hiddleston's God of Mischief. The six-episode first season followed Loki as he teamed up with Owen Wilson's Mobius and Sophia Di Martino's Sylvie to investigate the mysterious Time Variance Authority, uncovering dark secrets along the way. Now, the hit Marvel series is adding a familiar face in its second season: Oscar winner Ke Huy Quan, who joins the cast as TVA tech expert OB.
Season 2 (premiering Oct. 6 on Disney+) finds Loki and Mobius trekking into the deepest bowels of the TVA, seeking help from Quan's quirky repair guy. OB works in the repairs and advancement department, and his office is stuffed in the basement, a sprawling mishmash of gadgets and gizmos.
"His job is basically every piece of tech, every computer, every thing that is running at the TVA," executive producer Kevin Wright tells EW. "He either designed it, or he fixes it and keeps it running."
Quan, of course, is no stranger to trippy, universe-hopping stories, winning an Oscar earlier this year for Everything Everywhere All at Once. Wright tells EW it was celebrated Marvel casting director Sarah Halley Finn who first suggested Quan for Loki, having caught an early screening of the film. It was April, and Everything Everywhere was about to open wide across the country, so Marvel scrambled to make Quan an offer immediately — knowing that his schedule was about to fill up.
"I think Kevin Feige made a call maybe April 12, just to follow up and say, 'Please, please do this,'" Wright says with a laugh. "Little did we know, Ke is apparently already a giant Marvel fan and was a big fan of Loki season 1."
EW spoke to Quan in August 2022, immediately after his Loki role was first revealed at Disney's D23 Expo. Stepping offstage, the giddy actor admitted that he'd been keeping the role secret even from his family.
"I've been fantasizing about this for many, many years," Quan told EW at the time, "all the way back to when the first Iron Man came out. I saw all the movies in the theaters. I've seen all the films. I constantly watch on YouTube how passionate and enthusiastic these fans are. So to be up on stage today with Sophia and Tom and Owen and Kevin and to be on the receiving end of that… it's just been incredible."
Since the launch of shows like WandaVision and Ms. Marvel, Marvel has built a minor TV empire on Disney+, with multiple new shows still in the works. But Loki is the first Marvel Disney+ show to get a true second season, and Wright says he and the creative team wanted to continue to embrace the storytelling possibilities of episodic television. Season 1 took time to luxuriate in quieter, character-driven moments — like long scenes of Hiddleston and Wilson together, just talking. Wright promises that season 2 will continue to do the same. (In fact, he says, the unlikely buddy-cop friendship between Loki and Mobius is the season's "bread and butter.")
"In our [Marvel] movies, sometimes you have to keep moving forward very rapidly to get to the next thing," Wright explains. "Here, it's like: 'No, we can sit in these moments.' And dramatically, that's an exciting thing."
Season 2 will also find Loki, Sylvie, and Mobius coming up against a new but familiar nemesis: Victor Timely (Jonathan Majors), a brilliant industrialist and inventor living in the early 1900s. Like the menacing He Who Remains, who debuted in the first season finale, Timely is a variant of Kang the Conqueror, a dimension-hopping villain who takes many forms. Majors' version of Timely will play a major role in Loki season 2, even as the actor faces off-screen legal troubles.
"Victor Timely is somebody that we are very, very excited about," Wright says. "When you look at Kang, he has a very funny comic backstory. He has all these iterations. Timely was one that we've always wanted to do in Loki. And I think we're really excited about how that integrates into the season. It's a big part of the show."
Above all, Wright promises that Loki's second season will continue to embrace the weirdness of the first. The upcoming six episodes will zip throughout space and time, stretching from the 1893 Chicago World's Fair to the fluorescent lights of a 1980s McDonald's. After all, this is the show that gave us Alligator Loki and sentient floating clock mascot.
"We made a weird show [in season 1], and people responded to how weird it was," Wright explains. "So, we wanted to push it further."
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A couple things I want to point out, as well.
"Her name had been Trixie. She owned a walk-in closet packed full of expensive designer black leather catsuits and was approaching thirty. The collar she had specially crafted to fit around Chester’s throat was made of white leather and inlaid with the word WORM in cotton-candy pink rhinestones."
"White had never looked good on him. Chester’s skin is so pale that light colors are often hit or miss on his person. Top that off with his shaggy blond hair, nearly down to the nape of his neck since they started college, and the band of the old collar had nearly blended in with his throat. Black, on the other hand, has always been a striking color on his best friend. Striking in the way a nice suit is. Classy.
When Chester opens the box and sees the collar sitting there on the white satin pillow, he just freezes up like a deer in the headlights. Beside him, Parker chews at his lip, waiting for some sort of reaction. It’s such a simple collar compared to his old one. No rhinestones to bite into his skin. A little thinner so that he can move his head with more ease. The embossing is elegant but discrete, not on display for the whole world to see, but hidden on the inside where only the two of them will ever be aware of its existence."
-Quotes from Claimed & Collared, October 10, 2021
-Ad for Life of Luxury Merch, on the video It Waits Until You Fall Asleep, April 8, 2022
"It’s exhilarating. The way the sound of breathing just cuts off, abruptly, like that. He feels movement in Chester’s throat, it feels like he’s trying to swallow but Parker’s fingers are in the way. Then something just sort of hits and Chester’s eyes relax, lids lowering until he looks like he’s stoned out of his mind. Parker doesn’t loosen his grip and Chester doesn’t do anything to stop him. The fingers on Parker’s bicep are holding firmly, indicating Chester is still conscious, still in complete control of his mind, but he doesn’t squeeze. Soon, his face begins to redden. His fingers twitch. Parker swallows, feeling a bead of sweat go down his face. Chester’s leg kicks below them once, twice. Not struggling, almost more of a reflex."
-Quotes from Claimed & Collared, October 10, 2021
-She Thought Her Little Brother Was Dead, January 7, 2022
Listen, I'm not saying that they've been reading my stories and getting ideas from them, but also, they should let me write the episodes.
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The Syndicate
MASTERLIST
Ted Lasso/Rebecca Welton, fluff & romance. S3 departure after the Amsterdam episode.
Prompt: All of AFC Richmond is shipping Ted & Rebecca ... before there’s even anything to ship yet.
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April 2022
It's a habit by now. Every Friday, Will comes around and collects the subs, and Leslie maintains the book. It's been a while since anything new was added apart from people moving their dates. The book has claimed many wishful thinkers, many die-hard romantics, and even Roy. Once a week, Leslie sits with the book and checks for missed dates or special bets, which are certain not to happen, and he draws a neat pencil line through them. For over two years, he's kept this book going. It's looking pretty battered and bruised. The glitter Keeley had added has faded and mostly been rubbed off. The tin (more of a small safe now) sits and grows fatter and fatter, its winnings unclaimed. Everyone has had to review their timings at least once, even Beard. Some have added new dates three or four times. The lure of super weird, obscure, or just obscene bets has passed. Only a few of those remain. Leslie is pleased to be getting out the book this week - he gets to add Nate back into the fold.
January 2020
Leslie Higgins watched another morning biscuit delivery arrive and braced for impact. Rebecca hated this biscuits with the Boss situation. She hated Ted Lasso, Leslie could see it in her eyes. He knew it well, she hated him with the same intensity. She was ferocious and venomous, but with one bite of those buttery biscuits each morning, she was a new woman. It was a week or so before the Gala, roughly a month into Ted's tenure, that Leslie first took note that Rebecca’s demeanour was beginning to… change (he absolutely daren’t say soften). He popped down to the stationary cupboard and got out a new A4 lined notebook. Innocent enough. He stole back up his office and opened up the fresh, crisp book. The Syndicate he wrote in the top centre of the first page. He got out a ruler and carefully drew a sharp pencil line all the way down the page on the left-hand side, leaving enough space for names. He added another two lines down the page. Then, he added the headers: name, date, description, and amount. He wrote his own name on the first line, along with the date. Under description, he wrote January 2021, and then in the amount column, he put £5.00. Then he put the book in his bottom desk drawer, under a stack of financial papers and a crisp £5 note in an old empty metal tin, and then he tried to forget about both items.
Keeley wasn't quite sure what prompted it initially, but around the Gala and bonding with Rebecca, something started changing. She noticed Leslie watching Rebecca rather intently, and that makes her watch Leslie more intently. At first, she thinks the worst. Has Leslie truly got a crush on Rebecca? Impossible! Then, when she meets Julie, she's convinced that she got the wrong end of the stick. With 5 kids and a 30-year marriage, the Higgins' couldn't be more in love. He definitely doesn't have a crush. She leaves the odd thoughts to marinade in her mind, the Jamie situation weighing more heavily. When Rebecca offers her a job and a chance to deepen their friendship, Keeley grabs it with both hands.
"I saw Rupert in the pub the other day." Rebecca states over a cup of tea while they're sorting out Keeley’s contract.
"How did it go?" Leslie asks before Keeley can.
"He challenged Ted to a darts game. Ted said that if he won, Rupert could choose the team for the next matches, but if he lost, he could never come to the owner's box again while I'm in charge." Leslie's cup practically vibrates off the saucer, Keeley frowns at the sound.
"And?"
"Ted won! It was wonderful!"
"Hmmm. Interesting." Leslie says into his teacup.
"Well, at least you won't have him creeping up on you for a bit!" Keeley says brightly. It's not until she and Leslie leave Rebecca to her afternoon meetings that Keeley has the chance to be alone with him. She follows him to his office, "Whatever you've got going on, I want in." She tells him, staring him down. Leslie lets out a strange choked sound.
"I… I… don't know what you're talking about." He stutters. Keeley arches an eyebrow.
"Alright, fine. There's a weekly Syndicate running on Rebecca and Ted. £5 a week for any date of your choosing plus specials if there's anything in particular you want to add."
"Who else is in?"
"Coach Beard. Nate. Me. That's it for now."
"Beard? Interesting. Put me in, and I'll have a special as well, I'll go for…" She taps her finger to her lips, "March 2021. I give it a year. And my special is… he goes first, but she goes hard."
"Bold, I like it."
"What did the others go for?" She asks, looking over his shoulder as he digs the book out from its hiding place.
"Beard has gone for the end of next season - May 2021. Nate has gone early - this Christmas coming, December 2020."
"Big range of dates there. Any specials?"
"Nothing wild, Beard put in £200 that we'll all find out from a paparazzi shot rather than from them."
"Fair. Could happen, for sure."
"Nate's special is that it first happens in the boot room."
"Eww. Smelly."
"Quite."
"Bet I can get us some more interested parties…" Keeley muses.
"As long as we keep it quiet."
"Quiet is… not my middle name, but I'll do my best!"
The next time Leslie gets the book out, it's been Keeley-fied. His hands come away covered in glitter, and there are feathers stuck to the front of the book. He's got three names to add - Bumbercatch, Isaac, and Mae from the pub have all collared him. He's going to need help with collecting the subs each week at this rate. He adds the dates they've requested from where he'd scribbled them on a post-it note and puts their £15 total into the kitty.
May 2020
In April, he quits and leaves the book with Keeley. When he returns over a month later, just about the whole team has been added to the book, and Will has been appointed Debt Collector. Over the course of the next 7 months, every member of the club staff and team are in. Except Ted and Rebecca. The specials list has grown a little wild, and Leslie is not quite sure how he'd pay those out should any of them come true. There's well in excess of £10k in the tin. He's had to upgrade to a small safe. Every Friday, Will arrives with the weekly subs. They're easily putting in £250 a week - across 50 people, not including special bets. He's amazed that none of it has reached Rebecca and Ted yet. It's shortly after the first Truthbomb that Rebecca first approaches Keeley.
"So now that we're all good again…" She begins hopefully,
"Uhuh?" Keeley looks up from her phone. She's been propping Roy up on the decisions regarding his future.
"What's the Syndicate?" Rebecca whispered. Keeley drops the phone.
"Umm, I don't know? What do you mean?"
"Well, I'm not entirely sure. I've heard lots of people talking about it for ages now. It's not a cult, is it? Or do we have another curse?" Keeley's eyes are like saucers.
"Noooo! Of course we don't have another curse. And I'm fairly sure we're not home to a cult either." She sips her tea. "But I've no idea what the Syndicate is." She lies.
December 2020
Nate is the first to fall. His eager date passes with no results. Unperturbed, he re-adds his name to the bottom of the list with a new date: April 2021. Nate's date did hold a lot of promise though - seeing Ted and Rebecca turn up on Leslie's doorstep singing Christmas songs evoked a flurry of bets and an optimism which carried them all through till the spring.
2021
If Sassy was a spanner in the works, Sam is the fly in the ointment. Keeley was beside herself with the knowledge that Rebecca had been sleeping with him. He'd been putting into the Syndicate! He'd chosen a date of late summer 2021, with a special bet stating that it would happen when Ted returned from his summer break in Kansas! The ending of the relationship, the second Truthbomb, and the promotion back into the Premier League led to a new outpouring of bets, which by summer had fizzled out again, and poor Sam had his date crossed out. He went for December 2021 for his next turn.
With Ted's return from his summer break, he paid his usual visit to Rebecca - with biscuits.
"Hey boss, what's a Syndicate?" Rebecca froze with a biscuit halfway to her mouth.
"It's ummm… well t's a… umm… Oh Ted, I'm not entirely sure. I mean, I think it's like a lottery? So the more people who put into it, the better chance there is of winning."
"So it's just a lottery? The guys downstairs are all just playing the lottery? They're millionaires. That don't seem quite right, Betty White."
"Maybe it's the thrill of the gamble?"
"I ain't an expert, boss, but wouldn't they be better goin' for horses? Or poker?" Rebecca shrugged.
"Oohh! Maybe it's a team specific thing? Maybe they're betting on how the club will do next season?" She tapped the newspaper, one of the many which had them estimated to finish the season last in the table.
"Hmmm, nah. I just had to take them to the sewer to get them to believe in us."
"You don't think? How many we'll win? Or score?" She suggests. Ted leans forwards, elbows on knees to get closer,
"Y'know, I heard somethin' about specials?" He says quietly. Rebecca gasped.
"Maybe they mean hat tricks or Jamie's hair changes?" She muses. He points excitedly,
"Yeah! Yeah, yeah, boss! You got it!"
"We should tell them we want in."
"We should tell them we want in."
"Cos we're going to win the whole thing, Ted."
"We're gonna win the whole fucking thing. We are. And we want in on that Syndicate."
"Yes we fucking do." Once Trent has been sent off down to the locker room and Rebecca and Ted are alone with Leslie, they tag team him.
"Put us down Higgy, we want in." Ted said solemnly.
"You… what?!"
"We know about the Syndicate, Leslie. We want in." Rebecca said.
"You know about the Syndicate?"
"Yes, how many games we'll win, how many goals-"
"Where we'll finish, how many hairbands Jamie will get through?"
"And we want in. What is it, a fiver?" Leslie nods, dumbfounded. Ted hands him a ten pound note.
"The boss don't carry cash so I'll get this week for us both."
"Thanks Ted. I'll get you back next week."
And so began the regular pattern of Ted usually adding in an extra fiver to cover Rebecca on the weeks she didn't have any cash, and vice versa.
"Uhh what date did you want?"
"Date? Oh, the date we'll win the league?" Rebecca questioned. "I think I'll go for the last game of the season, is that still available?" Leslie nodded, still unable to find his voice.
"I'll go for the day before. We play our game on the Sunday but if other results go our way then we could win the day before?" Rebecca points, copying Ted's move from earlier.
"Ooh that's a good shout, Ted. Between us, we've got this."
"We sure do Doctor Who, high five!" They clash palms excitedly.
"Yep, I think you're pretty well covered between you." Leslie agrees.
2022
The book had just dragged on into another year when Leslie once again noticed the shift between Rebecca and Ted. They'd seemingly gotten into a holding pattern based purely on friendship until the Amsterdam trip. The return journey had come to life with song after song led from the back of the bus. The smile had lit up Ted's eyes when Rebecca apologised for missing his messages. It had ignited something in their friendship which had them teetering on the edge and thus had the team in a similar way.
"I want £200 on next weekend." Isaac slammed the cash onto Leslie's desk.
"Is that in addition to your existing date or did you want to bring that forward?"
"Addition, I'm keepin' my date as a backup. No one's takin' that from me." Isaac said adamantly. A couple of days later, Jamie put down £500 on Ted falling hard for Rebecca during Henry’s visit. When Beard showed up the morning after he'd been in the pub with Ted and Henry, he was buzzing with excitement.
"It was poetry, it's a sign! She called him right as the busker sang 'remember to let her into your heart'. It's gonna happen soon, man. I know it." He slapped £250 into the safe. "My bet is that Rebecca is already there."
"Coach, how exactly do you expect me to pay out for that? I'm not a mind reader?!"
"We can ask her afterwards."
"Afterwards," Leslie tsked and shook his head, "we'll see."
"I've got a plan for Manchester, my friend."
"No influencing the result! I've already had to ban Roy from bullying Ted into telling her."
"Ted's not there yet, man. Rebecca is. Hang on," he put down another £50, "Rebecca goes first but Ted goes hard."
"That's funny, Keeley had it the other way round 2 years ago."
"Long time ago, they've both changed."
"They have indeed. OK Coach, I'll allow it." Leslie added the lines to the book.
April 2022
In Manchester, Keeley joins Trent at the hotel bar before movie night.
"I ship them so hard, Trent. I'm fully invested."
"They're so easy to ship together, it's so obvious. There's talk in the locker room that Rebecca’s already there - care to comment?"
"Not sure about that, but I do think she's closer than Ted. Plus his mum turning up might have fucked things for the people who'd bet on this weekend."
"I know, talk about a cock block."
"Trent Crimm, I'm guessing you put this weekend?! You're so right, she is! Anyway, I heard that Beard has chosen a romcom for tonight. I'll ply Rebecca with some wine, Ted can do the whole 'just stretching my arm' bullshit and before you know it, the hotel room is a-rockin! I'll get you your win, babe!" They clinked their glasses together.
Rebecca passed by the stained glass panel unnoticed, hovering just the other side until the glasses clinked and Keeley's giggles ran out around the bar. She joined them a few minutes later in the small function room they'd converted into a cinema, smiling at Ted. She needed to speak to him quickly. She cried at the end of the movie, she always did. Ted had covered her hand with his and given it a gentle squeeze. Once everyone had dispersed, she crept along the hotel corridor to his room and knocked gently on the door. It had been just over 2 years to the day since he'd desperately hoped it was Rebecca at his hotel door in Liverpool. He sure as hell hadn't been expecting her in Manchester. Fresh from the shower, he looked stressed and tired. She smiled apologetically.
"May I come in?" He held the door open and stood to one side. "I overheard something this evening."
"Was it Colin and Isaac? Cos I heard them too."
"No, Keeley and Trent. Why, what did you hear?" Ted hesitated, gesturing to the chair across from the end of the bed.
"They were talkin' about ships, and bets? I wasn't really listenin' so I'm not really sure-"
"Keeley and Trent were on about the same thing."
"Huh. Weird."
"Weird. What do you think it means? What did they say?" She pushed for more information, suspecting that she had the upper hand in terms of knowledge gained.
"Colin was excited that he might win this weekend? But I don't see how, we can't win the league tomorrow."
"Ted. I don't think it's about the league."
"Well, what the heck else are we paying for each week?" Rebecca blushed.
"I think… I think they're betting on… us." She said weakly.
"Us? What the-, I'll go and put them so right on this, boss. That just ain't fair on you. I'll put a stop to this right now," he reached for his phone to call Beard and rally the team. She put her hand over the screen,
"Jesus christ, they were right." She whispered.
"Who? About what?" She can't help but stare, his hair falling onto his forehead, "Rebecca?" He all but murmurs. It's the first time she's heard him say her name like that, so softly, intimately. It sends a shockwave of heat through her body.
"I've gone first. How did I not notice?"
"You've gone where first? Forgive me, Rebecca but I'm lost here."
"Nevermind, Ted. We'll talk about it another time. You should get some rest before the match. Big day tomorrow." She can't resist pushing his hair back, her hand moves entirely of its own accord. "Goodnight, Ted." She leaves the room, leaves him lost to his own thoughts.
The 3 hour drive back from Manchester the next day is wild. There's booze from somewhere and they all seem to fall out of the bus and into the club where they party happily together. Ted excuses himself, and while Rebecca is desperate to follow, she knows he needs to confront his mother alone. They'd spent much of the journey home unpacking Ted's thoughts on her arrival and interference. It's not until his final 'fuck you' to his mother that he sits and re-evaluates his situation. While he does so, he receives a message from Rebecca.
You are loved here Ted, so loved. I hope you know that. 💜 It helps him decide what he wants to do next. He's not really surprised to see her the following morning. It’s early, but he knows the date and assumes that she does too.
"Sorry Ted, I don't have one for you." He can see that it's not the whole truth, she's looking slightly off eye contact - barely noticeable.
"That's OK, I've got one." He can see the tension in her shoulders, the anxious clench of her fists. "I'm gonna stay. If you'll have me, once the season is over." If the relieved breath she lets out didn't knock him over, the force of her hug nearly does. Her hands are tight around him, clinging to him and the shake of her shoulders is a dead giveaway that she's crying.
"Oh thank god for that, Ted. Thank fuck for that."
"I mean, I need more time with Henry, I want him to come here more and I need to spend the summer working that out with Michelle. But I ain't ready to give this up either." His words in her ear send a shiver through her and she leans further into him, burying her nose into his neck. When she speaks, her lips brush against his skin.
"Whatever you need, whatever I can do, Ted. I'll do it." And suddenly, there it is. Oh. He feels everything all at once, all night he hadn’t been able to put a finger on why he needed to stay. Yes, the team and yes, winning the whole fucking thing but nothing seemed quite enough. There was something missing and he hadn't worked out what until it was in his arms, clinging to him. Until she was in his arms. She's why he needs to stay.
"You sure you ain't got nothin' for me, Rebecca?" He asks. She lets go of him enough to look at him, glancing at his mouth.
"The Syndicate is about us. The whole club are betting on us. Not whether we'll get together - they're way past that, they're on about when, how. There's not a single person in this whole place that doesn't think that we'll end up together."
"Does that include you? You said the whole place?" She flusters slightly before nodding. "They're saying that I'm already there."
"That so? Any insights on what they're sayin' 'bout me?"
"That you're not ready yet?" Her voice drops to a nervous whisper.
"Don't you wanna be the one to ask that question?"
"Are you there yet, Ted?"
"Yeah I am, you helped catch me up." He smiles broadly and leans in to capture her lips in all fierce kiss. His arms tight around her waist mean she barely notices when her knees buckle.
"I won." A voice behind Ted mumbles. "I WON, I fucking won! I said today - I knew it would be today!" Will throws the training shirts into the air and runs past them through Roy's office door and into the corridor. "I WON!"
"How much you think we just helped him win?"
"An absolute fortune if it's been going on as long as I think it has. Maybe around 30 grand?"
"I'm sorry it took me so long."
"Well, I appreciate you didn't hurry, Ted. And so does Will."
~~~~~~~~~
#ted lasso#tedbecca#ted and rebecca#rebecca welton#ted lasso fanfiction#rebecca x ted#ted lasso s3#ted lasso fic
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Share & Care: My Living Arrangement
or: A Summary of My Life Here So Far
There is a housing crisis in the town I live in, similar to many attractive European university towns nowadays. Here, it's particularly severe, as this city is a favorite among wealthy students. Recently, a local newspaper highlighted the bribery and corruption affluent parents employ to secure housing for their children, making it nearly impossible for average students to find affordable accommodation. Students often face a waiting period of six months to a year to get a dormitory room. Although I theoretically have a room in a dormitory, I haven't lived there since February.
The Custom's Office
My housing journey has been quite unconventional. When I moved here at 18 in September 2021, I lived in a unique household with about 30 housemates in an old customs office, where we acted as "house guards." This place had a rich history, once housing refugees and later being occupied by activists. When I moved in, it was clear I'd need to relocate soon. Some residents had lived there for years, enjoying minimal rent and a beautiful garden near the historic town center—a near-miracle. Living there felt like a fairy tale, too good to be true.
I was the youngest in this eclectic mix of teachers, doctors, architects, hippies, witches, and rappers. It was a utopian community that greatly influenced me. We created a wonderful, unconventional living space. However, after three months, we had to leave. On a cold winter morning, we cleared out the building. I was the last resident on the third floor, living my dream and feeling like Pippi Longstocking. Then, like another miracle, I received notification of a dormitory room. The timing was perfect, easing my transition. I had been searching for shared housing and was growing anxious about finding nothing. So, I was incredibly fortunate once again.
The Dorm
Living in the dormitory was okay. My room was a fifth the size of my customs office space and 50% more expensive. I had hoped for a typical dorm experience—getting to know my neighbors, baking together, forming a community. Unfortunately, none of that happened. My closest neighbor was rarely seen, and I felt isolated, with my only friend being my then-boyfriend from the customs office.
Curiosity led me to look up my corridor mates online. Most were regular students, but one name stood out—a young PhD law student. We occasionally crossed paths in the kitchen late at night. One night, after a late work shift and a scooter accident, I met him in the kitchen. We talked for a long time and exchanged numbers.
Our first outing was to the theater, purely as friends. My then-boyfriend wasn't treating me well, so I broke up with him and, a week later, started dating the PhD student. We became inseparable, living and working together. However, I focused too much on him, neglecting my own growth and friendships.
He eventually moved to the U.S. for a fellowship at Yale. We broke up before that amidst much drama, but I still went to the U.S. for an internship that I had organized myself planning to stay with him. I ended up finding a family to house-/baby-/ and pet-sit for; during my stay managed to rekindle my friendship with my ex, and now he remains my closest friend. This brings me to my current living situation.
The British Gentleman
Frequent travel, mostly via couchsurfing, taught me that I don't need much space or comfort to be happy. I wanted to be part of a community and contribute to a household. So, I proposed living with a British gentleman I met through my ex-boyfriend. This wise, selfless man lived alone in a large apartment, with his wife living on her own nearby. We discussed the "share and care" concept, where students live with seniors to assist with housework. In April of this year, after having come back from the U.S. we made it happen. I sublet my dormitory room as a backup and moved in with the gentleman.
My bed is in his living room facing a big garden, separated from his bedroom by a non-soundproof sliding door. This minor discomfort aside, my tasks include cleaning, shopping, and general upkeep, which don't feel like work but more like helping a friend. His health has declined recently, requiring hospital and rehabilitation stays, which made the apartment feel lonely yet oddly peaceful. I used the time to study and keep the home welcoming.
He's back now, and I'm happy to assist him. I aim to be helpful without being intrusive, and I believe I'm succeeding.
The Conclusion
My accommodation story is one of happy accidents and serendipity (- which funnily is my best friend's nickname for me). Shaped by community and the generosity of kind, selfless people who gave me a chance. I couldn't have imagined a better living situation when I moved here. I feel useful, have a nice place to live, and am not taking up space needed by others. While my long-term future here until 2026 is uncertain, I've learned that things eventually work out, and sometimes, creativity and faith are all you need.
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MRKE, 2021.
It’s April. To me, I feel that nothing’s changed. By now I know that all of my favorite businesses to patronize stayed open. Not one record store on the island shuttered. So far, I was proud of myself to visit Williamsburg’s Rough Trade before their relocation this summer. It was the best $417.00 I ever spent. A pinball parlor opened up at my former local mall to my total surprise. It’s something that Long Island never had before. For eight hours and $25.00 I had more than my money’s worth. It’s safe to say that most of the money is coming back again, even if the third stimulus has no face or feelings of how people either benefit or still suffering. Businesses re-opened after New York State’s mandated closures, like my local ticket arcade where I benefit from buy-twenty-get-twenty specials and half-off games on Wednesdays so I’m relieved. It’s been years since I went and I’m long overdue for a night out of a real life 2021 version of The Price Is Right.
My friend M-Ro, brother of archivist and WUSB’s J-Ro, had been out of a job since the cinema-house closed down. He’s done nothing but stay home with his four kids watching infinite amounts of Disney, long-forgotten sitcoms, and other cringy obscurities. Not long ago, he started working again with a friend who later changed career paths and decided to open Pickle Island, a pickle house in Oyster Bay. He offered M-Ro to help run the place and Pickle Island is now a two-man operation.
I hate pickles. I think they’re disgusting, unappetizing, and revolting, They’re an unattractive food to me. I’d never have a reason to buy them ever, ergo be near a pickle house. But when your friend sells part of their CD and video collections there, then you do have a reason to go. I always support my friends with what they do. Snakeskin belts, local shows, photography books, or new ventures. You sell it, I buy it. I haven’t seen M-Ro since one of his final live performances of This’ll Kill Ya’ for his bro-’s bornday at a crowded bar in Hauppauge, so it’s about time I do.
I traveled west on the Long Island Expressway / Rt. 495 and drove past Exit 46, Sunnyside Blvd. / Plainview, where a once-astonishing world of fresh faces and memories that opened up my junior year was an era long dead. Then up north on Rt. 106 / 107. The last time I traveled down that path was when I worked at the Jewish center post-senior year. I got the girl, a Dutch caramel blonde, and also got the job through her father; a mean, threatening, over-protective scumbag who had me on his shit-list for two summer months because I was dating his daughter. I drive up Rt. 106 / Oyster Bay Rd.’s silent, wide-open, grassy roads riding past the stables and million-dollar houses on hills. View the scenic picturesque neighborhoods and one would think how Nassau County sits at the top ten highest-taxed neighborhoods in the entire U.S. Go up North Shore Rd. and see an amazing grandiose view of the harbor’s massive body of water as you coast over the Bayville Bridge and slide into the parking lot across from Pickle Island. I see M-Ro through the storefront, sitting on the couch minding his own as I walk in. He sees me walking towards and waves hello as I come in.
I unintentionally give him a friendly good-to-see-ya’-again hug. Oops. I realized you’re not supposed to do that in a pandemic world. But it’s two weeks after the fact and we’re still alive. After a few lines of conversation, I said to him that it’d be quick and he knows.
I’m not here for the pickles. I’m here to see what CDs he’s selling. It’s already cramped quarters. A Ms. Pac-Man cocktail cabinet sits behind the front window. There’s a few racks of issues of Captain America, Green Lantern, and Wolverine. Another rack of VHS tapes and a shelf of DVDs and Blu-rays. Then the CDs. They’re from his collection. Some duplicates and others he didn’t care about parting, he says. Eight rows or sixteen shelves of discs in total which would take me no more than ten to fifteen minutes to scan…and some neck pain from having to see it all sideways because that’s how he placed them, you Tetris artist. I’m already positioned in blocking the owner from going behind the front counter. And an all-too-nice suburbanite family of three just walked in; a father and his two kid who are all so fine and dandy to be there. As if they never experienced a bad day or tragedy in their white-winged innocent lives. Nice to know that Dad Of The Year never looked in my direction and wondered why a stranger is twisting over by the shelves.
Seeing his partial stash, M-Ro was never one to shy away from pop. Jewel, Head Automatica, Pretty Girls Make Graves, some pop-punk, first and third-wave ska, Warped Tour bands…no judgment here. Because he’s a solo artist who goes by The Matt Roren Karaoke Experience doing covers and music videos of various popular chart-topping hits. Before that, he was also part of the legendary local pop-punk / ska band The Microwave Orphans and after that the garage-punk outfit The Repercussions which I ended up getting two CDs of. Don’t Fear…and Modern Sounds were the two most expensive discs I bought at $7.00 and $10.00 respectively, still sealed. Come on. You have to support your friends.
As with any receipt, there’s plenty of firsts. This one, however, had the majority of them. Veruca Salt, Faith No More, and The Posies were bands that my alternative circles of friends from both Brentwood and Plainview were into. A low price point allows me to have them now for the first time. Stabbing Westward, as it’s industrial rock, is in my hands. The Presidents Of The United States Of America? Yes. They wrote that song about peaches so that’s valid. Why not get The Stooges first album with a second disc of live material? And being I have their second album, why not get the first from The Specials? It’s one of the very select few ska bands I’ll allow in my collection. None of that too-important elitist third-wave carnival music. I don’t think I have Phil Collins’ But Seriously, and he was someone I listened to feverishly during my Nintendo youth. And Richard Marx? None of you know who he is and if you did you wouldn’t dare mention his name. But I will. My ma’ loved him and once had the cassette. So both middle digits flying high to you all.
As M-Ro counted up the tab, I look to my right and there it was: a Sony Watchman. It’s the third one in two months I seen. My interest in them started when during my Saturday shift, one of my favorite customers, a young 20-ish redhead with glasses asked me for a power bank. On my way of showing them to her, she mentioned about buying some more accessories for her Watchman. I’m not much of a movie person so that kind of flew over me until she showed me an actual Sony Watchman handheld TV. She took it out of the box and turned it on for me. I almost dropped dead in front of her. I read about these things all the time but never saw one in the wild. Now here it was. She recently bought one at Savers for only $4.00 and bought an analog-to-digital converter from us to try and stream it to her flat-screen TV. She even went a step further and told me the manufacture date on it: 1985. The fact that it was her holding obsolete antiquated technology in her hands and was still in working condition made my entire month for me. I told this story to my friends at the radio station and our resident fantasy aficionado Captain Phil offered to send me one from his eBay store, which I’m now a proud owner. Pickle Island had a larger unit sitting on its counter showing a random movie and I’m wondering if some talking head, celebrity, influencer, or magic cartoon kangaroo on Instagram recently touted them for everyone to grab.
This one-and-done expedition was just as quick as when I visited Rosie’s Vintage three years ago, but not the least expensive. $62.00 later, I was the proud owner of a piece of M-Ro’s life. Not a gift, but a purchase. Being Pickle Island is not a legitimate music store by any means, it doesn’t count towards my record-store victory tour. I thanked M-Ro profusely for my patronage and told him to stay in touch which he would. It’s now time to reverse the drive home under partly cloudy blue skies with a playlist of past Springtime discoveries as the evening’s soundtrack. I’ll get to experience the harbor one more time and get an idea of where to take a scenic shoot in the near future. I’m not taking the L.I.E. this time as it’s cramped with traffic but this time the Northern State to Rt. 25, Rt. 345, and Rt. 454 all the way through. I’ll log on to social media for all of my friends and allies at WUSB to hear about because I never shut up about what I bought. I need the assurance and affirmation from everyone which I bought with my money today and, so far so good, it’s favorable. Then I see this posted under my purchase:
“You’re lucky I left some stuff for you.” said his brother J-Ro.
You don’t say! I had no idea some of his collection was mixed in for sale with his brother’s. So which ones, exactly? Unlike his offering, the stuff I left for him from my collection was totally free and not out of pocket. Take that to the bank and cash it in.
Repercussions, The: Don’t Fear…
Stabbing Westward: Wither Blister Burn + Peel
Stooges, The: self-titled
Veruca Salt: American Thighs
Phil Collins: But Seriously
Faith No More: Songs To Make Love To
Lacuna Coil: Karmacode
Richard Marx: Repeat Offender
Posies, The: Frosting On The Beater
Specials, The: self-titled
Presidents Of The United States Of America, The: self-titled
Raveonettes, The: Whip It On
Faith No More: Angel Dust
Repercussions, The: Modern Sounds
#omega#music#playlists#mixtapes#personal#Long Island#ska#industrial#punk#alternative#pop#garage#Stabbing Westward#Stooges#Iggy Pop#Veruca Salt#Phil Collins#Faith No More#Posies#Specials#Eaveonettes
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Voiceplay Visuals: My Mother Told Me
This video was released on the 24th of April, 2021, and currently sits at a very-impressive 6.7 million views! It features Jose Rosario Jr (in his first collabration with Voiceplay (on a full-length video at least)), who for a few years performed with Rockapella! (Rockapella is an acapella group who have been around for over 35 years, they were part of the OG Where In The World Is Carmen Sandiego show, and they were a bit of an inspiration to Voiceplay (originally 4:2:Five) in their early days).
I wasn't actually sure whether or not this video would give me a lot of moments to point out/talk about (it's been a while since the last time I watched it), but it's obviously a big production (epic, even), and I will undoubtedly be talking about its "sister video", Valhalla Calling, when I eventually get around to it, so long story short, I'm doing this. Let's go!
Each vocalist got filmed separately for this one, each with their own backdrop (and then were all spliced together for "group shots" in the video), so each member gets their own picture when I'm talking about them in this post!
Jose is wearing some textured blanket-looking thing, plus a plain brown shirt/tunic, and he's got a pair of blueish lines on his face that almost look a little bit like scars. He's standing in front of a sort of desert plains landscape, maybe with some large red mountains/rock formations?
Oh yeah and also it's a little hard to see, but just at the neckline of Jose's shirt, underneath his beard, there's a cool viking(?) symbol on his neck that also shows up in Valhalla Calling (and on the merch for that video too)!
Eli appears to have a bit of dirt and grime on his skin (which would be intentional of course), as well as some cool-looking tattoos (even on his head!) (fake ones for the video of course), and some very heavy eye makeup. He's standing in front of some grass, rocky cliffs (possibly with water down below?), and sea mist
(Also Eli is credited with "virtual production" on this one, so I guess all these greenscreen backgrounds were his doing? Massive shoutout to Eli!)
J has the same symbol on his forehead that Jose had on his neck/chest, as well as some white powder-looking makeup stuff on his cheeks. No clue what kind of top/shirt that is, but I like the big fur coat, and cool arm cuff things as well! He's standing in front of a frozen (or partially-frozen) lake, with snow-covered mountains/rock formations behind it.
(Fun fact: Geoff re-used a few costume pieces from My Mother Told Me when filming the videos for his covers of Far Over The Misty Mountains Cold and I See Fire!
Layne has got a makeup design to Eli, with similiar tattoos on his face, and a bit of extra dirt/grime as well. He's got fur trimmings(?) on his shoulders like Eli, but it looks more like the fur that J is wearing. He's standing in front of wide open plains I guess? I'm not sure, I can't make out a ton of detail.
I think Layne's outfit might be my favourite one of this video; it seems the most complex, like it has the most going on with it, and I like the patterned cuff design thing on his right arm!
And I haven't forgotten Geoff, of course I haven't forgotten Geoff, and seriously oh my god
I'm honestly not sure if I could give a good description of Geoff's outfit even if I tried, but it works! (Also wait I literally only just realised that, once more, he's the only one in the video with exposed shoulders (well, one exposed shoulder, but still!))
This honestly might be one of Geoff's most terrifying looks of any Voiceplay video so far, if not the most terrifying. Vampire!Geoff in This Is Halloween was "scary" in the "yes please give me more of it" (i.e. hot) way. Oogie Boogie!Geoff in Oogie Boogie's Song was just theatrical and entertaining. Mr Hyde!Geoff in Kidnap The Sandy Claws was (to me at least) just a little bit strange and hard to wrap my head around. But Geoff here? This is "makes you want to move very quickly in the opposite direction" scary!
(So like well done to Rick Underwood on the makeup (but in regards to everyone else as well))
Jose, J, Eli, and Layne all got cool aesthetic landscapes as their backdrops. Geoff got darkness and STUFF ON FIRE (...yeah that checks out 😆)
Even the fingernails!!! Even the fingernails look like they've got grime on them! (Also, Geoff at his least-terrifying moment of the video)
Aaaand we're back to "time to run away very fast" mode!
(Also yes Geoff's tattoos and makeup are very cool as well)
Not that Geoff is the only one in this video that I wouldn't wanna pick a fight with!
Jose is credited with "additional acting direction" in the description, so I guess he maybe camw up with/directed some of these kind of moves?
Oh hey Geoff has that symbol on him as well! I wonder if Layne and Eli have got it somewhere on them too?
Wait hang on what is Eli holding?
A better shot of Layne's face tattoos and the cool sleeve thing!
Geoff doing a similar hand movement to the one he did in Bang! (which was my previous post actually), after he had just done a bit of an impressive bass-vocal-run (or something like that), except this time it's after holding a quite low note (a subharmonic I think?) for like 6 seconds.
Oh I think Eli was holding his cape?
Yes I can see the tattoo, thank you Jose! 😂
Also did Geoff do a bit of hair colouration for this video? Because yes he's got a bit of grey in his hair now, but not that much grey, and it's not always that noticeable (though personally I do love the grey streak he often has in his bangs, it's rather fetching if I do say so myself <3)
Run fast, and run far!
And that's the video! Man, can you believe these are the same dudes (well except Jose) that did the Aca Top 10 videos, being all silly and fooling around? Acting skills were freaking on point here! Everyone crushed it!
It's a great arrangement as well (shoutout to Layne!). The song is actually just one single verse, which here is sung like 5 or 6 times over, but you barely even notice it (if at all) because the whole production is just so mind-blowingly good!
I also wanted to do this video because I'll be skipping over You're My Best Friend and Man In The Mirror, so this'll be the last video I'm doing where J is actually a part of the group. It was of course very sad that he left Voiceplay, but he's come back as a guest artist in like 6 full-length videos now (not even counting the minis), and hopefully he might one day return to Voiceplay full-time, once he's done with his stint in the US Navy band!
#hvoiceplay#acapella#my mother told me#geoff castellucci#eli jacobson#layne stein#j none#jose rosario jr#acaplaya analysis#voiceplay visuals
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I just saw the Hold them down song post I THINK IT WOULD BE IN CANON for Someone to Start a death plot in Murtagh That’s just kinda how medieval stuff works I definitely think people would want to kill him before he grew to old BTW where can I listen to These epic songs ??
-Wyvern Anon
I’m totally all for it. Once I can sit down and get all the stuff outta my head imma write it out.
And EPIC the Musical is a currently in-development/concept album releasing musical by Jorge “Jay” Rivera-Herrans! He’s been releasing content for it and progress clips since I think maybe 2021 or 2022. This is his YouTube channel, and he also releases shorts on TikTok.
You can find out more on EPIC on the EPIC wiki. There are other official sites as well! People have compiled together all the clips we have so far of the yet-unreleased songs and sagas on YouTube, like the ones I’ve posted recently. As of April 26th, EPIC has had all tbe concept albums/sagas for Act 1 released, through the Underworld Saga. You can listen to the songs for free on YouTube if you don’t want to stream or buy.
It’s very much worth listening to and keeping up with. The journey has been pretty much documented from the start. I’m not the only person to say I fully expect this to change the world of musicals like Hamilton did.
#eragon#inheritance cycle#the cyclists#modern inheritance#the inheritance cycle#ket's modern inheritance cycle#the world of eragon#epic the musical#epic X mic#mic X epic
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001. KIM MI-RAE … ˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗
KIM MI-RAE is a soloist under SM Entertainment and Interscope Records. Starting out as a model, actress, and ballerina, Mi-rae began to branch into the music industry in 2018, but her own solo debut wouldn’t happen for another 5 years. Already beloved in Korea and worldwide, her long-awaited debut—“Heart Burn”—was a smash hit, and Mi-rae has gone on to become one of Korea’s most prominent celebrities, being dubbed the “Nation’s Princess.”
BASICS … ˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗
BIRTH NAME … Kim Mi-rae (김미래)
ENGLISH NAME … Crystal Marie Angelica Bienvenu
ALSO GOES BY … Crystal Angelica Kim
NICKNAMES … Angel, Angie, Mimmi, Rika-chan
BIRTHDAY … April 28th, 1995
ZODIAC … Taurus
BIRTHPLACE … Seoul, South Korea
HOMETOWN … Seoul, South Korea + Paris, France + Manhattan, New York
ETHNICITY … Korean-French
NATIONALITY … Korean-French-American
SEXUALITY … Bisexual
PHYSICAL … ˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗
HEIGHT … 4’10” (147 cm)
WEIGHT … 96 lbs (43 kg)
BLOOD TYPE … B
PIERCINGS … N/A
TATTOOS … N/A
CLAIMS … ˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗
FACE CLAIM … YooA / Kim Si-ah (OH MY GIRL) + ?
VOICE CLAIM … Minatozaki Sana (TWICE / singing) + Jang Wonyoung (IVE / speaking)
DANCE CLAIM … Mina (TWICE)
CAREER … ˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗
COMPANY … LOEN Entertainment (2018–2021) + SM Entertainment + Interscope Records
OCCUPATION … Singer-songwriter, composer, actress, model, ballet dancer, fashion designer
DEBUT DATE … June 9th, 2023
TRAINEE YEARS … 2 years
YEARS ACTIVE … 2023–present
SURVIVAL SHOWS … Girls Planet 999 (2021 / guest mentor)
FANDOM NAME … Miracle (미러클)
COLORS … #C2EFFF + #FFFFFF
BACKGROUND … ˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗
⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚ 🦢 … ONE. BEGINNINGS IN BALLET
Kim Mi-rae was born in Seoul, South Korea to a French father and a Korean mother as the youngest of three children. Her father, Lucas Alexandre Bienvenu, is a renowned pastry chef and former model who hails from a noble family. Her mother, Kim Minyoung, is a semi-retired supermodel and fashion designer who founded the luxury brand MYK in 1994. Mi-rae’s older siblings—Kim Jaehyun (or Christopher Kim) and Kim Narae (or Christina Bienvenu)—also have successful careers, as Jaehyun is a singer-songwriter based in Korea and the United States, while Narae is a supermodel and actress.
Ever since she could remember, ballet has been a huge part of Mi-rae’s life. In 1998, her mother placed both her and her older sister in classes to help develop their strength, discipline, and to help them discover their interests. Narae only remained in ballet for seven years until she went on to begin her career as a model, but Mi-rae stayed. She knew ballet was her true calling, and for the next decade, she would grow to become one of the world’s most prolific ballerinas.
⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚ 🦢 … TWO. INDUSTRY DARLING + A CAREER IN LIMBO
Starting in 2007, Mi-rae would study at the Bolshoi Academy for a year and a half. During the times when she wasn’t in class or competing, however, she was in front of a camera. In 2008, she was featured in a children’s campaign for her mother’s brand. It was her third modeling job; her first was when she accompanied her mother down the Chanel runway in 1997, and her second was when she was featured in her mother’s “No. 5” campaign in 2001. Once those photos dropped, however, it was a whole new world for Mi-rae. One of Minyoung’s close friends contacted her and asked why Mi-rae wasn’t a model. A few days later, she was sitting in front of another camera for a portfolio shoot, and that summer, she had a contract with Wilhelmina.
In between becoming the youngest soloist at the Korea National Ballet at only 16, Mi-rae would also become a top model, with her career reaching its peak by 2011. By then, she had made her film debut in one of Korea’s top blockbusters, and multimillion dollar contracts with L’Oréal and Kate Spade came with it. She starred in campaigns for top brands such as Chanel, Oscar de la Renta, Giambattista Valli, Vivienne Westwood, Anna Sui, Moschino, Miu Miu, Jill Stuart, and Saks Fifth Avenue. She walked runways in Paris and Milan despite her short height, and became renowned for her unique, “doll-like” looks. Unsurprising considering that both her mother and her sister became supermodels, but her most surprising venture would come in 2018.
After rising to the position of principal dancer and becoming a guest principal at both the Bolshoi Ballet and the American Ballet Theatre in 2015, three years later, Mi-rae was inspired by her brother and she made the decision to pursue an idol career in Korea, signing with LOEN Entertainment. The announcement shocked the public, as most thought she would do nothing but ballet even after her cover of IU’s “Boo” went viral in 2016. Mi-rae’s debut was intended to come just months after she signed, but once she got busy with ballet and acting, it was unfortunately but inevitably delayed.
In between 2018 and 2021, Mi-rae made strides as an actress and television host, in addition to her established ballet career. She was nominated for her first major award in 2018, starred in a career defining drama a year later, and was offered her very own talk show by KBS in 2021. However, despite all of that success, there was still no talk of Mi-rae’s debut. In early 2019, rumors spread on online forums that her debut was set for sometime that year. However, said rumors were quickly dispelled by LOEN and Mi-rae herself. That led netizens to ask the question: just when was her debut?
In January 2021, it was announced that Mi-rae had terminated her contract with LOEN (now Kakao). This had fans worried, as that could’ve spelled the end of her idol career before it even started. A month later, however, SM announced that Mi-rae had signed with them instead.
⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚ 🦢 … THREE. THE DEBUT
Even though fans were expecting an immediate debut, they unfortunately wouldn’t get that. Mi-rae would take to social media explaining that she wanted to train her voice and get used to the industry before debuting, and that such a process would take a while. In the meantime, Mi-rae would of course continue ballet and touch on other aspects of her career, starring in two television shows and a film and also trying her hand at fashion design, designing a capsule collection for her mother’s brand in 2022. As the years dragged on, though, fans grew worried again.
However, in the spring of 2023, something happened. SM announced that Mi-rae was preparing for her debut, and that it would happen sometime in the summer. A day later, she posted footage of herself in one of SM’s studios, and netizens immediately began talking.
In May, Mi-rae was featured on aespa’s “‘Til We Meet Again,” and anticipation for her debut continued to grow. And then, after a month of teasers, Mi-rae’s debut EP—Jewel—was finally released.
⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚ 🦢 … FOUR. SUPERSTARDOM
Mi-rae’s debut album and its corresponding single instantly became chart-topping hits. She quickly rose to becoming one of Korea’s most beloved soloists, with netizens comparing her to the likes of IU, Bae Suzy, and Im Yoon-ah.
Her surprising vocal talent further endeared her to the public, garnering her nicknames such as Korea’s Doll, SM’s Angel, and Nation’s Little Sister. Even though her career isn’t even a year old yet, many agree that it clearly looks promising. Mi-rae is—in every sense of the word—a star, and her well-rounded skill set, charming personality, and princess-like image is setting her up to be one of the industry’s most iconic idols.
#˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗ COME INTO THE VERSE !#˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗ CHAR … MIRAE !#PROFILES !#kpop oc#koc#kpop soloist#kpop solo artist#kpop oc soloist#fake kpop idol#idol oc#fake idol#fake idol oc#idol oc soloist#idol soloist#idolverse#fictional idol#fictional idol oc#fictional kpop idol#fictional kpop oc#fictional idol community
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update- TWs in tags
Thank you all very much for your replies to my last post. I’ve had zero energy this past week and yesterday was a very hard day. Got my decision in the mail and wow, they sure are long. It’s not good, folks!!! Not good at all. This guy is an SSA shill and I’m flabbergasted. Hopefully my attorney gets back to me next week asap because not only do I have grounds for an appeal, I believe I’ve been denied my rights by law. Some highlights from his decision. They’re very painful to read and my case manager way back in November of 2021 said that they love to tell people they’re disabled but here’s why you can work. Basically what this dude did but I’m seriously confused and angry. I think it also speaks to the type of person and biases he has. -I meet the disability insurance thing, as in he considers my record to start back in October 2015, which is how my attorney laid it out. And it’s true because that’s the last time I was able to work. -I am severely limited and cannot perform the work I once did. The work I once did was, uh, retail/customer service, and a ‘stay at home’ job if you will by being a caregiver to a veteran (my ex). -My disabilities as the SSA listed them: chiari malformation, leukemia, major depressive disorder recurrent, severe, PTSD w/dissociative affects, headache, s1 radiculopathy (nerve damage), and idiopathic intracranial hypertension (IIH, my number one enemy) -Chiari and leukemia aren’t considered disabilities, which I knew they wouldn’t be. I’m in remission and people often work with debilitating cancers even tho they should absolutely not have to. Let’s begin with what he got wrong lol -He dates that I got an EMG done in March of 2022 before the lumbar puncture. I did not get an EMG until September of 2022. The LP was in April of 2022. -Nerve damage. I have zero evidence of nerve damage in my medical record, according to him. Zero. I do not have a single symptom to suggest nerve damage and I need at least one from both ‘categories’ the SSA lists. But I have none. I was bedbound for eight months because of nerve damage. I had noted swelling (with pictures) of my paraspinal muscles which might have contributed. I had an EMG because of nerve pain. My dr ordered an EMG because of nerve pain. Shooting pain down my leg and numbness/tingling. Also the severe pain in my lower back causing me to not be able to sit up or walk without excruciating pain 💀 I was referred by my neuro to a pain specialist who really wanted to do steroid shots in my lumbar region FOR NERVE PAIN. I was in physical therapy for months to relearn how to like walk and sit up but also for NERVE PAIN. Legit have no words. It’s noted in my neuro’s and his PA’s file about the radiculopathy explaining what happened to me finally. Hhhhhh. -MDD/PTSD/suicidal ideation. I have extensive medical records going back to 2015--NPs, therapists, my psychiatrist, and the neuro psych eval I had in Sept of 2021 + more since. The eval is one of my most important medical documents. He said the medical evidence did not support major depression/anxiety/PTSD for 2+ years with no improvement, which is not factual. My medical records from my NP in 2015-2017 show how many medications I was on that did not work. How long I was in therapy because it did not work. My current psychiatrist is on my side and tells me every time I see him that I’ve been on everything and we’re limited lol I believe this summer I will be with him for two years alone. The judge notes I have no medical evidence of panic attacks despite them being listed in my medical record. At most of these places. Again. Plus the ER at the very beginning discuss panic attacks. This man read my neuro psych eval where she diagnosed me with those MH disorders (beyond already being diagnosed elsewhere). This is an intimately personal document because it details a SA that occurred in 2012 plus the abuse my ex put me through for 2yrs, which made me unable to work starting in 2015. She noted high concern for my well being as my suicidal ideation is, uh, high lmao and the effects of PTSD from multiple traumatic things. He said there is no evidence in my medical record beyond a depressive and anxious mood which do not fit the bill for MH disabilities. He completely ignored the neuro psych eval (and everything else) so I think that speaks volumes of the type of person he is. -IIH. This is where I get very angry. He lists it as something I was diagnosed with and it was in consideration, yet he completely fails to consider it. He considered ‘headaches’. Not IIH, not multi-feature chronic migraines that are well documented, not the recommended brain shunt by my neurosurgeon if pressure was high, which it was. He is, by SSA law, supposed to argue for/against the conditions listed. He didn’t. -Allegations. He says that the “allegations” I have made don’t completely match my medical records by, like, existing or severity. Except the things that he says I alleged but are not supported are because of IIH. Which he had plenty of medical evidence of + the burden of deciding I meet criteria for disability is on the SSA at this point. He has to by law complete my medical record himself once it goes to him (almost a year ago) so he has the entire picture to make an accurate and fair judgment. He says I allege symptoms not endorsed by medical record but they are symptoms of IIH lmao -He implies I lied (”allegations”). He said that in my records it has been noted I stopped driving once all this happened (dec 2019) and have not driven since. It is noted *everywhere*. But he says that I indicated I drove one (1) time in December 2021. Obviously, this is not true and I have no idea where he got this from. My mom was pissed because she has driven me everywhere for 3+ yrs lmao I have a feeling someone misheard me say dec 2019 for dec 2021, so the judge thinks this makes me a liar. He completely ignored the vocational expert’s testimony in the opposite way I have read happens--narrowing me down to 1 job, then 0, but deciding himself I could perform jobs like ‘mail clerk, router, or marker’ whatever the fuck those last two are. A dr who reviewed my case (I didn’t even know they did lkafaja) said I could only have occasional interactions with people. The judge said that he felt that was not true and increased it to frequent. I don’t trust people. At all. I never want to make friends irl again because it feels way too fucking vulnerable. This is in my medical records. Anyway. I truly believe I have grounds for an appeal b/c of mistakes he made and I hope my attorney agrees with that. The judge is not supposed to fuck up dates or ignore medical evidence entirely in his judgment. BY LAW. Angry, hurt, tired. Why does this keep happening to me lol why can one thing not go right but instead everything always gets worse. I feel like I try to put good out into the world when I can but it spits on me in return. I want to give up.
#vtforpedro personal#vtforpedro medical#mentioned abuse and SA noted by a medical record#mental health stuff re disability decision#does anyone know disability law lol#in the great us of a#i'm so tired
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