#been fantasizing about this since college tho

[idkmybffjaden]

I have this regular daydream about getting some decent sound equipment and a bit of VA practice under my belt so I can eventually take over voicing Abridged!Jaden where the earlier content left off.

The world deserves more Abridged!Jaden and someone, somewhere, at some point will make that happen. Might as well be me, right? If I dare.

[eolewyn1010]

Dragging Frankenstein - Chapter 4

Onward and downward, but before we get down to brass tacks: I know Shelley talks her way around the actual process of making the Creature, but. The Creature needs to sleep, needs to eat, needs to recover from wounds - everything we know about this guy indicates that he's made of organic, "living" matter. So I will go with the traditional reading that all the corpses weren't just delivering reference material, but also building material to Frankenstein. Which means, yeah, I'm gonna mention the rotting issue, and no, I'm not talking of Victor's decaying morals.

“found even in M. Krempe a great deal of sound sense and real information, combined, it is true, with a repulsive physiognomy and manners” – ooookaaay, this is making me mildly sick. Although with the way Mary Shelley writes it, she strongly implies that Victor’s attitude is wrong, so I’ll give her the benefit of the doubt. (And kick the little shit against the shin.) DELUSIONS OF GRANDEUR: 3

“two years during which I paid no visit to Geneva” – okay, WHAT. You don’t even go home for Christmas?? Your siblings, your father, your preciousest Elizabeth??? Egotist.

Ok, fine, he makes a lot of progress. Only serves to blow up his ego tho.

Not to be morbid here, but Victor studying the dead and decay is the first point where the story really had me in its grip and I fully bought into his dedication to science itself, not to the glory in it. Good shit.

“like the Arabian who had been buried with the dead and found a passage to light, only aided by one glimmering and seemingly ineffectual light” – ???? Is this something one should know? I’m kind of afraid to research it; I suspect some gross cultural misrep. Or is it Biblical?

How very practical that Victor has a morally sound reason not to share the secret of creating life, so nobody can ever confirm or deny his singular-in-history brilliance. DELUSIONS OF GRANDEUR: 4

“how much happier that man is who believes his native town to be the world” – how does Victor manage to criticize himself and his own attitudes and still come across as belittling?

“give life to an animal as complex and wonderful as a man” – sorry, I have to. DAS GAY: 13

Hey, he’s not building a woman there.

Incidentally, a woman would get him to the way more obvious process of creating life; why is he studying corpses but not pregnancies? Is that icky to get his hands on or what?

“I resolved to make the being of a gigantic stature” – not to be gross here, but I think Victor fantasizes about getting absolutely ravished by a tall, strong man.

“having spent some months in successfully collecting and arranging my materials” – aw, what a sweet phrasing for defiling corpses.

“A new species would bless me as its creator and source" – DELUSIONS OF GRANDEUR: 5

God-Adam-Lucifer delusion, go!

Also, a man. He’s trying to build a human man. From human materials. This is not a new species. It’s not an act of creating something that wasn’t there before. The original idea is the process of creation, not the resulting creature.

“No father could claim the gratitude of his child so completely as I should deserve theirs” – there’s so many things wrong with that. First of all, manipulative as all shit. Second, do you make a child to have them indebted to you? Third, with the homoerotic undertones of Victor desiring to create a beautiful man, this gets a very unhealthy one on the INCEST VIBES: 4

“renew life where death had apparently devoted the body to corruption” – uhm. Isn’t that what he needs to do now, too? How do the parts for his man-in-the-making not decay further during the process? Especially since it’s in a tower room during the summer. The stench must be hell. How is nobody noticing him sneaking around carrying body parts and his room smelling absolutely horrible? Huh. People get up to some weird shit in college, I guess.

“tortured the living animal to animate the lifeless clay” – aw, he’s such a sweetheart. How comes he’s not missed at university? He’s probably not attending lessons anymore; how can he stay around?

“It was a most beautiful season” etc. – ok, how would he know? He says he’s not paying attention to anything. Shelley, that’s a POV error. And he doesn’t even reply to his father’s concerns. IT’S ALL ABOUT ME: 3

The attitude tho. “I then thought that my father would be unjust if he ascribed my neglect to vice, or faultiness on my part, but I am now convinced that he was justified in conceiving that I should not be altogether free from blame.” – okay, WHAT. 1st, robbing graveyards is very much a vice, Victor. 2nd, you are absolutely to blame entirely. 3rd, he’s right, you are neglecting university. Where does Victor get off painting himself in such a saintly light?

“if no man allowed any pursuit whatsoever to interfere with the tranquility of his domestic affections, Greece had not been enslaved, Caesar would have spared his country, America would have been discovered more gradually, and the empires of Mexico and Peru would not have been destroyed.”

I. WHAT.

…I choose to be a highly offended historian about this, and move on. Also, because he thinks it’s so very simple to just apply his personal faults to all of human history and therefore solve all problems, this gets a glaring IT’S ALL ABOUT ME: 4

“But I forget that I am moralizing” – HA! I’m in incredulous giggles here.

“I shunned my fellow-creatures as if I had been guilty of a crime” …honey, you are. Multiple crimes, actually. And counting. Self-awareness whomst?

Whew, this chapter was dense. And so is Victor.

[1kook]

or the min Yoongi author au where he had one hit novel years ago, but hasn’t been able to write since then without hating himself UNTIL his new dog walker (you) appears and begins sticking their nose into all his business

[navegandoaciegas]

Crybaby

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x f!reader (College AU)

Warnings: smut, ass fingering, orgasm denial, humiliation, lots of talks about panties.

Summary: You catch Bucky trying to steal your panties on laundry day.

A/N: this is partly @buckycuddlebuddy​ ‘s fault tbh. Enjoy some desperate, horny Bucky. Minors DNI.

The timer on the dryer unit you’d occupied went off, signaling that your weekly load of laundry was dry and ready. Bucky cast a nervous glance around the eerily empty room, fingers twitching in the front pocket of his hoodie.

He knew it was wrong, but his laundry was done too (just a coincidence, really, not like he’d wake up at 3 am on a Monday because he knew you did your washing around that time), and you weren’t there yet. You usually retrieved your load in the morning anyways.

Just a peek, he reasoned. Out of curiosity. You wouldn’t even realize they were missing, and if you did you’d chalk it up to the washing machine eating your clothes.

You’d show up to class on Tuesday and sit next to him while he’d be wearing your pretty lace panties and you’d be none the wiser.

Fuck, he was getting hard just thinking about it.

He dug in your laundry, sifting through mascara stained washcloths and an endless amount of oversized t-shirts, until he found what he’d been looking for.

Small, so tiny in fact that he wondered how your lips could fit in them. He groaned -the idea of your pussy hanging out of the material made his cock twitch, and brought the panties to his face, rubbing his nose all over the lace. He’d fantasized of burying his face between your legs all semester long, and this seemed close enough, the closest he could get to you anyways.

They seemed stretchy, and he hoped he could manage to stuff himself inside them.

“Didn’t peg you for a panty sniffer, Barnes.”

The world stilled around him, the ring in his ears so loud that he wondered if you could hear it too.

He was so engrossed in his creeping, that he hadn’t heard the door open and click shut, nor your steps as you walked behind him, or the slight groan that the washing machine behind him emitted when you settled on it, swinging your legs.

Slowly, he turned around, your lace panties still tightly clutched to his chest.

You almost chuckled at the sight of his bulging eyes and gaping mouth. Almost.

“That- it’s not- not how it looks like- I-”

“What, you were gonna fold my laundry for me? How considerate,” you sneered, but the look on your face was far from disgust.

Derision, sure, but not disgust. The mischievous interest in your eyes sent chills down his spine, not necessarily the good kind.

He felt dread settle in his stomach, anticipating whatever consequence his actions would have.

“You do this often?” you asked, tilting your head to the side, naked legs still swinging over the washing machine.

Bucky couldn’t find the words, and honestly the gall, to speak, so he just shook his head vehemently, shuffling on his feet.

“Hm, you like sniffing ‘em?”

He remained unmoving, too humiliated to do anything.

“Oh, I got it,” you beamed, pointing a finger at him and squinting your eyes, “You like touching yourself with pretty panties, hm? Like using them to fuck your dick, and cum all over ‘em?”

He wanted to answer, tell you to fuck off and sprint away to hide in his dorm for the rest of his life, but honestly he deserved this and so much worse. He almost considered dropping out of college entirely, but that glint in your eyes kept him anchored to the ground.

“I’m sorry,” he murmured, keeping his gaze on his white sneakers, “I-, I promise, I never done it before, I don’t know why-, look I won’t do it again, I swear,” he pleaded, tears pooling in his crystal eyes and threatening to stream down his face.

You cooed, honest to God coeed, a mocking pout on your lips.

You should have left, and reported him, but those pretty tears of his, the tremble in his voice, the stuttered pleas, only served to spur you on, a familiar warmth building up in your core.

“I bet if word got out of this, no one would want to hang around the resident creep anymore. Good luck getting girls then. Although, well, I don’t think you get too many under normal circumstances, do you?” you snorted, “That would be embarrassing, hm? Wouldn’t want that, would you?”

He found himself shaking his head, trying to swallow the lump in his throat to avoid giving you any more reason to mock him.

“It’s your lucky day then, because I have no intention to tell anyone,” you announced, stepping down to lean against the machine, arms crossed over your stomach.

“You- you don’t?” he wondered.

The notion should have elated him, but he felt himself growing more uneasy and confused with the smirk on your face.

“Won’t tell anyone if you don’t. Cross my heart,” you laughed, making a show of placing a hand on your chest.

He eyed you suspiciously. “Why?”

“Where’s the fun in that, Barnes? I wouldn’t enjoy bullying you if I’m not the only one doing it,” you chirped, “That doesn’t mean that my forgiveness should come for free, tho.”

His breath hitched, and you followed his Adam’s apple as it bobbed up and down his throat.

You could feel the control in your grasp, panties getting wetter with each one of his tears.

“I’ll do anything,” he swore, and you almost wished he’d fall on his knees and beg.

“Anything you say, huh?” you paused, “Strip,” you commanded, leaning back against the washing machine.

Bucky furrowed his brows and looked up in confusion, then disbelief, finally embarrassment. “Wh- what? But, but what if someone sees, I-”

“Then you better hurry.”

“But I-”

“You fuckin’ heard me the first time.”

He was startled into action, hands hastily pulling at his hoodie and jeans until he was standing in nothing but socks and underwear.

“I’m not gonna repeat myself again.”

He gulped visibly, and hesitated before hooking his fingers around the waistband of his boxers, pulling them down his legs.

He blushed harder, ducking his head.

His cock sprung out of his boxers, and the mouthwatering sight of it had you reconsidering Bucky Barnes and all your life choices during this semester.

He was glistening in pre cum, painfully hard and veiny, and definitely thick enough that fitting it inside your cunt would be hard work on both parts. You imagined taking him in your mouth, how you would definitely choke around his girth, and your jaw would be sore for days.

Not today, though. Bad boys did not get that kind of privilege.

You bit your lips, and Bucky fought the impulse to squirm under your intense gaze.

“Something wrong?” he rasped out, praying for the ground to open up and swallow him whole in case you found him too small, too crooked, too hairy.

You snorted, eyebrows raised skeptically. “Yeah, babe, the fact that I haven’t seen you naked before. You been hiding all this,” you eyed his crotch suggestively, “from me all this time?”

“T- thanks,” he stuttered, offering you a small smile, eyes trained on the ground. He tried to ignore the way his heart fluttered when you called him an endearing term, reminding himself that this was all a game to you, a game that he was more than willing to play if it ended up with his cock buried deep inside you.

You sighed then, pondering your thoughts. He was not your usual type, but he was cute in a nerdy way, shy and quiet, and he was packing more than any other man you’d had before.

Plus, this was way too entertaining for you to pass up.

“Wear ‘em.”

Bucky’s head snapped up at the command, but this time he did not hesitate to follow your instructions, a bit too eager as he slid the panties up his thighs.

The shutter of your phone’s camera brought him out of his thoughts, and his eyes widened in horror when he saw you take pictures of him. He trusted you wouldn’t spread them around, but the thrill of danger had him leak more pre cum, wetting a patch on the lace.

“So that’s your deal? You like wearing panties? Didn’t even try to act like you didn’t want to,” you snickered, “What a whore.”

The situation couldn’t get more humiliating, and he couldn’t get more desperate for you.

“Be a good boy, Bucky. Fold the laundry for me, since that’s clearly what you meant to do,” you laughed scornfully, nodding to the basket at your feet.

He walked to you slowly, bending over to pick it up, and yelped when you slapped his ass harshly, the sound bouncing off the walls and shooting straight to his aching cock.

“Cute. Now go, you got something to do and I don’t have all night.”

He sighed, and got to work, unloading each item from the dryer, and folding it neatly.

You eyed the lines of his back, the round globes of his ass, the string of your thong dipping between his cheeks. You almost lost yourself imagining how pretty he would look all scratched and marked before you furrowed your brows, observing the way he folded on of your nicer shirts that you wore on interviews and internships.

“Can’t even fold laundry, look at you,” you tsked, shaking your head, “Try that again, I don’t want to spend more than necessary ironing it.”

He obeyed, without any protest, smoothing the creases he’d created, and continuing with your load, until the dryer was empty and you were satisfied.

“Good job, baby boy,” you praised, beckoning him over.

He got closer, close enough that you could feel the heat emanating from his body. He looked so pretty like that, all teary and obedient.

You wanted to make him yours and ruin him for everybody else.

“You’re a fuckin’ pervert, you know that? A creep and a pervert.”

You saw the way his cock twitched behind your lace at the words, and almost doubled over in laughter.

The night couldn’t get any better.

“Fuck, you really are a pervert. This what you get off to? You imagine me calling you names, degrading you like the bitch you are? You want to be humiliated, don’t you?”

A desperate, pathetic whine escaped his throat, and he felt his knees growing weak with need. He was naked in a public space where everyone could see him, being belittled and humiliated by the girl he’d been pining over, and he was hard as a rock, getting off every word that spilled out of your mouth.

“Well,” you purred, fisting the hair at the back of his neck and tugging harshly, “I think we can arrange that.”

“Yes, yes, please, I want it,” he whimpered, chest heaving, “I want you, I’m your slut, I-, you can do whatever you want to me.”

You almost moaned then, intoxicated by his burning desire.

“Good boy,” you hummed, releasing his hair to stroke his cheekbone, smiling at the way he leaned his head against your palm, letting his eyes flutter shut.

“Remember you can tell me to stop or slow down whenever you want, and I will. I won’t do anything you don’t want me to,” you added more serious, observing his face for any trace of anything but enthusiasm.

When you found none, and he nodded feverishly, you let your hand fall from his cheek to his shoulder, tracing the outlines of his lean muscle.

“Can- can you kiss me, please?” he asked, and he begged so prettily that you could do nothing but humor him, crashing your lips against his.

It was messy, rough. He was sloppy, and from the way he moved against you, you guessed he didn’t have too much experience.

Better, you reasoned. You’d teach him all he needed to know to please you, and you only.

You bit on his bottom lip, and Bucky yelped in surprise, parting his lips.

He tasted like mint on your tongue, and you sighed in content, letting your hands travel down his sides, barely grazing his skin, scratching the hair on his belly.

He shuddered under your touch, goosebumps erupting in your wake.

When you reached his lower stomach, you felt him tense, his breathing getting harder, his tongue more insistent.

He was drooling and crying, you realized, as he snapped his hips against your leg, humping you like a dog.

You broke away from the kiss, catching your breath.

“Look at you, you gettin’ real worked up and I barely even touched you. What are you, a fuckin’ virgin?” you chuckled, playing with the little bow on the front of your panties.

You’d expected him to laugh, or deny, but he just stood there awkwardly, avoiding your gaze,

“I’m not,” he grumbled, avoiding your gaze.

“Then why are you acting like one?” you prodded, but didn’t wait for him to answer, claiming his mouth in a searing kiss.

His hesitant hands groped your breasts, finally gaining the confidence to do more than linger awkwardly on your hips. He twirled your stiff nipples, rubbing his thumbs over them, movements getting more frenzied the closer he got to his release.

He crouched awkwardly to be at your chest level while still pressing his hips onto you, and tugged your loose tank top down, moaning at the sight of your tits.

“Go on baby, suck on my tits.”

He didn’t need any more encouragement to assault your nipples, latching his mouth onto one of them, and suckling. You wondered if he’d ever even touched a pair of boobs before, but his ministrations were working either way, making your walls clamp down on nothing.

You finally grasped him in your hand, his cock heavy and throbbing in your palm as you stroked him lazily, spurred on by his little whimpers.

His whole body quivered when you ran your thumb over his slit, and you marvelled at his sensitivity.

“You like it when I touch you like this, baby?” you moaned in his ear, “I bet you do, I bet you could cum already just from this. Just a handjob, like the pathetic little boy you are, hm?”

He released your tits with a wet pop, and rose to full height again, resting his forehead on yours.

“Yes, yes, please,” he sobbed, “please, princess, more.”

You complied, doubling your efforts. He inhaled sharply when you added your other hand and began twisting both your wrists in opposite directions.

“You want your princess to suck your dick, baby? Want me to get on my knees and take you in my mouth?”

He nodded against you, grinding his hard cock against your hand, desperate to chase his release.

“Or maybe you want your princess’ pretty pussy? You want to fill me with your fat cock and stuff me full of your filthy cum, don’t you?”

He began blabbering, breathing harder, sloppily snapping his hips. He had a look of pure bliss on his face, his eyes shut tightly, mouth hung open and a layer of sweat coating his forehead.

You could feel him grow and throb in your hand, and just before he was about to reach his high, you stopped your hands.

His eyes shot open and he opened and closed his mouth to protest, but you gave him no time, fisting his hair and slamming him against the washer, bending him over the cold surface.

“What, you thought I’d catch you stealing my panties and I’d let that go?” you tutted, bending over him, pressing your front to his back, whispering in his ear “Bad boys need to be punished, don’t you agree?”

A choking sound escaped his parted lips, and you giggled against his skin, licking a strip behind his neck.

You let your hands wander down the expanse of his back, settling on the waistband of your panties. You indulged yourself again, slapping his ass because you liked how it jiggled and how Bucky whined.

“You have a nice ass, you know,” you mused, slouching back to get a good vision of it, “You ever had anyone stick anything up there?”

“W-what?” he sputtered, crooning his head to look at you, “N-no, never.”

“Cute.”

He squirmed in embarrassment when you spread his cheeks, groaning when he felt your spit drip down on him. You massaged a finger around his rim, your hand coated in your spit and his pre cum.

“Relax, I’ll make you feel really good, promise.”

You gradually felt his muscles relax under your touch as you soothingly ran a hand down his back and kept whispering calming, sweet nothings in his ear.

Then, you dipped a finger past the rim.

“See, not that bad, huh?” you smiled, working your finger inside him, caressing his walls.

You nipped the skin of his back, peppering his muscles with fluttering kisses, grazing your teeth over his column.

You dipped another in, and Bucky hissed, wiggling his legs.

“Hey, it’s okay,” you shushed him, “You’re doing so good for me, baby.”

He preened under your praise, and you began scissoring your fingers inside his ass, working him open and looking for the spot you knew would make him beg for more.

The heat between your legs was almost unbearable, your pussy desperate to be stuffed full of his cock.

You loved how pliant Bucky was being, obedient and submissive in your grasp. You noticed the tears that hadn’t stopped streaming down his face, and huffed a laugh.

“A pervert, a slut, and a fuckin’ crybaby, aren’t you?” you mumbled, a genuine smile tugging at your lips.

“Fuck, oh fuck, fuck, fuck,” he chanted, holding onto the washing machine for dear life, tongue lolling out of his mouth, drool dripping down his chin, making it known that you’d found what you’d been looking for.

“Yes, fuck, please princess, gimme more,” he begged, overwhelmed with a pleasure like he’d never experienced before.

He felt like a fire had been lit in his lower belly, and it was spreading to every limb, encompassing him whole.

You grasped his cock in one of your hands while your fingers kept pummeling into his ass, feeling the rim clench around you and his cock pulsate.

You thought you could cum from his beautiful sounds alone, and you kept going until you were sure he was on the verge of a mind shattering orgasm.

Then, you stopped again, and this time Bucky sobbed, blabbering and wailing, begging you.

“Please princess, I’ll do anything, just please let me cum, please, please,” he continued, shamelessly bucking his hips against nothing.

You released his cock and pulled your fingers out of his ass, cleaning the fluids against his panties.

“You’re so fuckin’ pathetic, begging like that,” you mocked him, retrieving your phone from the pocket of your shorts.

You snapped a couple of photos of him bent over the washing machine, pent up and debauched. His balls hung from the lace of your panties, and you made sure to zero on his tear stained face.

“So pretty, my pretty crybaby,” you cooed, helping him stand up again.

He fell on his knees, clutching the hem of your t-shirt.

“Please, you can’t leave me like this, I-, please,” he blabbered.

You committed the image to memory, knowing you’d see it again soon.

You could see it in his eyes how hooked he was to you.

“Baby, bad boys don’t get to cum, do they? You can’t go around stealing people’s laundry,” you tutted, lightly slapping his cheek, “You deserve some punishment, don’t you agree?”

He hesitantly nodded, slumping down on his shins. You grasped his chin, tilting his head up to meet his gaze.

“You got to bed now, no touching, and I’ll see you tomorrow. I’ll know if you disobeyed, and trust me, you don’t want to know what’s gonna happen if you did.”

You smiled, and took a few steps back to retrieve your basket, leaving him to catch his breath on the floor.

“See you tomorrow at 4 pm, you know where my dorm is,” you chirped despite your own neglected arousal, sauntering to the door, “Get dressed before someone comes in, you wouldn’t want to see how much of a pervert you are, right?”

He shook his head, agreeing with you despite the sobs that silently shook through his body.

“Good boy,” you purred, hand twisting the knob. You paused, and threw him a look over yourself, “Oh, and thank you for the laundry.”

-

I hope you liked this! Please leave some feedback if you can! ❤️

[rosenallies]

Okay I can’t remember the fic but it was a Rosénali diner au on ao3 where denali was like a really bad waitress that I had read when I just started that job.

Few weeks later we had our diner booked as an event location for an insurance company so my shift started at five to decorate and rearrange tables for that and then the people showed up around brunch time. Boss holds a speech and then they had drinks and buffet, with us waiters pretty damn busy because of course two of our five people team spontaneously called in sick the day before. So I’m stressed out as fuck, barely getting a hold of the amount of tables I had to serve and all the costumers in suits and business looks really didn’t help my anxiety.

One of the guests was this lady, I’d guess mid-late 30s and she was a whole head taller than me in her heels (I’m 5’10’’) and she wore this bright red pant suit. I checked for Corona tests/vaccines at the entrance and she smiled at me :’) Obviously my little gay heart was like OOF and since we couldn’t go by our usual table order anyways due to two people missing I volunteered to serve her table just for the sake of it. Day sucked, I’m allowed to indulge in my little fantasy or whatever.

Anyways, eventually she gets up when I approach and asks me to show her the way to our smoking area. I was already having heavy heart eyes for her so I obviously did. Was too shy to really talk and obviously could only show her the way and then go back to work, can’t be caught smoking outside of my break hours. But leaving the full area still gave me a little breather, and you bet I was basically in love with her by that point so I was glad to walk her around. She was so sweet thanking me and calling me cute😩.

The place was packed and of course most of these business people were white men who wouldn’t step aside even if I had a full ass tray with THEIR food. But at one point while I tried to get through with my full tray the lady showed up again and told her coworkers to make some space for me, since I already served them all day and they should be more considerate. At this point I had been working for about 7 hours, running on very little sleep and had eyed her basically ever since she entered so my brain was literally like “Is this gonna be like on ao3 :D” Obviously it wasn’t tho, they left and i had to pull overtime into the night to clean the place up 🥲 but throughout my shift I was basically already planning our wedding and introducing her to my dog.

That would be my dream <3 the summer before I went to college I worked early morning shifts at a coffee place near a hospital and if we weren’t busy I’d be leaning against the drive thru counter fantasizing about a pretty doctor or surgeon coming up to the window and falling in love with me when I gave them their coffee <3 there was a few that would come in every morning and *sigh* I guess 18 year old me who wore hot pink eyeshadow to work every day like it was a nightclub did nothing for them </3

Also @bradgoreskii u remember all the rosenali fics, which one had bad diner waitress Denali ??I don’t remember that one <3

[reidsexualwriting]

Only Fans (Reid/Reader)

Requested by reminiscing-writer via my ask box: But like imagine if the team gets a new agent on the team and Spencer takes literally seconds to recognize her lmao SuRpRiSe she’s an ex-porn star whose porns he was/is a huge fan of and even tho she’s Uber professional and even genius- he just can’t look her in the eyes without seeing her doing things to him lmao y did I think of this

Thank you so much for the request (and your patience with this prompt)! This fic is from Spencer's perspective, so it's a little different from what I usually write. I really liked this idea since it's a mix of crack and smut-ish stuff, so I hope you enjoy reading as much as I enjoyed writing!

Title: Only Fans Pairing: Reid x Reader Rating: M/Explicit Words: 1427 Warnings: Swearing and borderline smut-- everything in this fic is c/o Spencer Reid's imagination, so no outright sexual activity. Even as an M/Explicit work, there’s not much smut. A little sub!Reid?

I honestly thought my eyes were playing tricks on me when she walked into the bullpen, guided by Prentiss. I wasn't used to seeing her in FBI-appropriate clothing.

To be frank, I wasn't used to seeing her in any clothing appropriate for situations outside of the bedroom. I tried to be discreet while scanning her body as she shook hands with the other agents in the room.

My eyes weren't playing tricks on me, I noted as my eyes fell to her breasts. I'd recognize them anywhere. My mind wandered to a baby blue set of lingerie she'd worn in a video I'd seen. I knew I shouldn't think about her in that way, especially after seeing the badge on her left hip. I couldn't miss it with the hourglass figure.

I chastised myself in my head and tried to go back to my paperwork. I began scribbling meaningless notes in red pen on the case report in front of me while my mind continued to wander to all the times I'd seen her before-- legs spread and moaning.

After what felt like hours making pen marks and fantasizing I heard Prentiss clear her throat above me. "Reid," she said sternly, snapping me back to reality. "Reid, this is our new agent, Y/N." She gestured to the woman I had been daydreaming about. The woman held out her hand to me for a shake.

I hesitantly took her hand and shook. "It's nice to meet you Dr. Reid," she seemed to purr. "I've seen some of your lectures. I'm a really big fan." If only she knew.

I licked my lips and furrowed my brow slightly. "Thank you," I squeaked. I cleared my throat. "It's nice to hear someone appreciates my boring lectures."

"Oh they're far from boring," she mused. "They're part of what inspired me to become an FBI agent." She smiled, and I could feel myself getting hard. "And I'm definitely excited to be working with you." I felt a chill run down my spine. "And the rest of the team, of course," she added, gesturing to Emily.

I swallowed and let out a breathy laugh, looking to the floor as Emily led her to Rossi's office. How the fuck am I going to work with her when I can't even talk to her without getting hard?

Several days passed until we had a case. In that time, Y/N hadn't posted anything on any of her accounts (at least the accounts I knew about). I was almost grateful-- I thought it would make it easier to transition to seeing her as a colleague rather than an object of infatuation.

Easier said than done, I suppose. I could almost remember every frame of every video she’d ever posted, and every time I saw her in the bullpen with her lip between her teeth or the tip of her tongue barely visible, it was all I could think about-- those lips on my neck or that tongue on my cock. I dreaded seeing her in the bullpen because she wouldn’t get out of my head.

It only got worse when we got our first case. When she walked into the conference room, she was wearing a charcoal blazer with a low-cut blouse and the tightest pair of slacks I’ve ever seen. I couldn’t even bother to make my usual comments as Garcia gave us the case details, because I found myself trying to catch a glimpse of her exposed cleavage every chance I could.

I couldn’t help myself. How was I supposed to focus on a case when there was a woman-- not only sexy but smart-- that I had seen naked on multiple occasions sitting across the table from me? There was a part of me that selfishly couldn’t wait to see her in the field with a bulletproof vest and a gun. Most of her pictures, videos, and streams had her acting as a submissive, but I had a feeling she was more a dominant type and just produced what appealed to the most subscribers. I’m a sucker for strong women, I guess.

The case was relatively open and shut. It didn’t take long to catch the guy, but the arrest was something else. Mainly because it was exactly like I imagined but better. I was her support during the takedown. Watching Y/N yell at an unsub and chase him down was almost erotic. I felt a little gross, but as she clicked a pair of handcuffs on him I couldn’t help but stop in my tracks and imagine what it would be like if she handcuffed me and had her way with me.

When we stepped on the jet, most of the team crashed immediately, but Y/N sat at the table with me. I worked on the case report and she had her nose in a novel I’d already read. After an hour or so, she closed her book and sighed. “Can I check out your report?” she asked out of the blue.

“It’s-- uh-- it’s not finished yet,” I sputtered.

“I know,” she replied, setting the book down in the seat next to her. “I’m just curious.” She chuckled. “And I may need a couple of tips when I’m writing up my first report for the BAU.”

I smiled and handed her the report. She scanned through it at first, but then seemed to linger on a couple of paragraphs. I couldn’t see what she was so focused on, but I wasn’t paying much attention to it. I was watching her facial expressions as she quietly mouthed the words to herself with her brow furrowed. She finally handed it back. “Thanks,” she said. “Looks great. I just think you should add more to it about how much of a badass I was when I took that son of a bitch down.” Immediately after, she winked and picked her book back up. The rest of the flight was a long one.

When we touched down, Y/N offered to give me a ride home. It would mean leaving my car, but I couldn’t say no. I knew I had no chance of having sex with her, but it would at least be nice to get to know the woman I’d been jacking off to for months now.

We didn’t talk for the first few minutes of the car ride. She had her phone playing music through the AUX, and I recognized the music from one of her videos. “Have you heard this song?” she asked suddenly, glancing over at me before returning her attention to the road.

“Uh, yeah, I have,” I responded, trying to act as though I wasn’t replaying a video of her using a vibrator. “I really like it.”

I saw her grin, and it was silent for a couple seconds. “Zugzwang,” she announced, and I immediately felt panic set in. I shifted in my seat, and got ready to defend myself. “Spence,” she began (I noted the nickname), “I read your report on the plane because I had a sneaking suspicion I knew you from somewhere.”

“Well, you said you’ve seen some of my lectures,” I suggested.

She laughed quietly. “I meant in a more adult setting.” I swallowed the lump in my throat. “Do you know what I studied in college?” she asked. “Linguistics.” She looked over at me for half a second. “I recognized your language from the tips you sent me. Zugzwang is your username.”

“Y/N, I am so sorry,” I began, but she cut me off.

“Spencer, there’s no need to apologize. You helped pay my tuition that helped me get here. Just know that I’m a professional, and I know you are too.” We pulled up to my apartment as she finished. I felt my cheeks flush, and I went to grab my bag from the back seat. I opened the door, getting ready to step out, but she stopped me by gently grabbing my wrist. “I see how you look at me: in the office and in the field. I know this is probably out of line, but I’d love to give you some tips, too, if you’d let me.”

I was absolutely speechless as I stepped out of her car. She slipped a piece of paper in my hand and blew a kiss to me (the way she ended her streams). When I stepped into my apartment, I opened the paper to find her personal phone number with ‘xoxo’ written at the bottom. Suddenly I couldn’t wait to see her in the bullpen.

[harryfeatgaga]

Hiii so I know that we’re done talking about Harry’s relationship but those past couple of days made me realise how much I was invested in Harry’s life (not always in a healthy way lol) and have always fantasized through our concepts how I just wanted to love on him and stuff and now that I’ve reflected i was like, okay now maybe I should focus on redirecting that energy and love towards the people in my life you know?

Like the love that I have for an unattainable celebrity crush could maybe be given to a person who will give it back to me foreal?? I’ve always been a hopeless romantic but I’ve never been able to imagine things for myself you know?? I know this ask may be weird but I just had this realization that I can’t wait to be in love with someone and to be loved back the same way.

And honestly this thought makes me so excited for what’s yet to happen in my life and it makes me happy in a way. Especially bc I’ve never been in love and have been the fandom since I was 12 and I’m in college now and feel desperate sometimes that I’ll never have a real bf

Every time that I read our concepts I feel so warm in my chest bc I’m just like, one day this will be reality for me, I’ll be able to make those concepts come true with the love of my life. So yeah idk if you understand what I mean but it’s just me understanding that I can also have a “real” love life instead of projecting on other people.

Ok im done ranting lol

( and I still love Harry tho)

this is a very smart and well thought out message and made a lot of points! thank you for sharing I feel you for sure!!!! 

[notyobabygirl]

hey liz, is it normal to still have a crush on a guy I had sex w in august last year? thats 7 months and we were never really friends, more of acquaintances and its still that way (we go to college together) I think the mutual attractions always been there but it will never be anything more and still I can't get him out of my head, even tho I've hu with many guys since.. I know he's quite the player and gives me nothing, so why does my mind do this? !!!

yeah I think its completely normal actually. I still have crushes on guys from years ago lol. I think the reason we hold on to these crushes is because we fantasize so much about them and make up scenarios in our head which doesnt help. I literally make up scenarios in my head everyday all day lol. why do you think it cant be anything more? if you already hu with him then thats a good sign because that means he was into you. maybe try snapping him and see if he gives you something now 

[gromvillage]

odds bitch 🔪🐓

1. how tall are you?

almost 5′1″, we a short bitch

3. what is your favorite part about your body?

my calves are pretty solid

5. are you more outgoing or more shy?

depends on the situation, i’m outgoing when i really know the people i’m around but i can be pretty quiet when i’m in new situations

7. are you tol or smol?

we really smol

9. weird habit?

i don’t think it’s that weird but i take my water bottle almost everywhere with me?

11. do you sing in the shower?

yeah, especially if i have music. i suck at singing tho

13. are/were you a theater kid?

i wanted to be one but i joined drama club for the first semester of freshman year in high school and found it to be super clique-y so i quit so,,,,yeah

15. do you think musicals are cheesy?

only high school musical 

17. favorite cards against humanity card?

i’ve sadly only played once so i don’t have a favorite

19. behind the camera or in front of it?

in front of it

21. meaning behind your url?

grom is like a beginner at skiing or surfing or like ‘extreme sport’ and i stay being a beginner so,,,

23. who’s your closest tumblr friend?

@nellotone!! also my closest real friend

25. have you ever taken narcotics?

that’s gonna be a negative ghostrider

27. have you ever gotten caught sneaking out or doing anything bad?

i would like to think that i’m cool and edgy and adventurous but i stay being boring and too much of a rule follower 

29. describe your passion without mentioning it.

what passion?? i only have one passion?  we confused by this and too tired to figure out what it means sorry.

31. give us one thing no one knows about you.

ummmm i think i’m getting sick right now? idk man

33. what is your biggest fear?

being abandoned by those closest to me maybe? or the unknown, that shit gives me anxiety

35. what is the best decision you’ve made in your life so far?

i think choosing not to go to my district high school. when i was in eighth grade you could submit and application and essay to go to like eight magnet schools in my county (almost like a mini college application process) and i chose to go to an ib school and some parts have been horrible about it but it’s made my high school experience so much better than i think it ever would have been if i’d just gone to the high school i was zoned for. i met so many amazing people, had incredible teachers, got an awesome opportunity to travel, and like to think that i was pushed to be a better student 

37. something you fantasize about.

someone loving me, that’s for sure

39. what was the last thing that made you laugh?

my manager as i was leaving work today, we were joking about how our lives have just been so much better since we met each other, she’s pretty cool

41. who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything?

@nellotone again, they stay being my favorite person

43. are you starting to realize anything?

when reflecting on the last year, i realized i overcame some huge internal struggles and that i am actually really capable!! i used to be so anxious i had trouble going to scout events and i had a really rough job experience that was holding me back from getting another but this past year i worked super hard to not let these things hold me back

45. i’ll only date you if _____. (fill in the blank)

you respect me? you’re into me? you can give me a piggy back ride? idk man the standards are pretty low

47. describe the person you’re in love with/have a crush on in great detail.

ohhh two people. the first is so sweet and funny and she loves bon appetit and is always willing to talk about it with me and she’s goofy and her hands are super soft. the other i only kinda know from a distance but he seems sweet and caring and fun and,,,,the only problem is that they’re dating each other so that’s fun

49. first thing you notice in a person?

maybe their clothing? that’s kinda the first thing i notice on someone especially when i’m at work because i stay avoiding looking people in the eye as they approach me

51. been rejected by a crush?

ohhh hell yeah

53. would you have sex with the last person you text messaged?

i think it was my mom so we gonna pass

55. did you hang out with the person you like recently?

like mid-december? so sort of yeah

57. what would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy?

i mean if i only like them and we’re not in a relationship there isn’t really anything i can do to stop them but if we’re in a relationship we definitely gonna have a talk

59. does the person you have feelings for right now know you do?

i’m guessing no

61. do you want to get married?

it’s not at the top of the priority list but if i found the right person at the right point in my life i could be into it

63. three things that turn you on.

someone being bigger than me, someone telling me what to do but in That One Way, someone scratching my head (i am not about to reveal how kinky my bitch ass is on tumblr sorry friends)

65. favorite term of endearment?

babe

67. intimidating girls or kind girls?

i’d like to think intimidating girls but i’m too afraid to actually talk to them

69 (heh nice). do you tend to like more masculine, feminine, or androgynous girls?

how bout em all?

71. who was the first person you came out to?

unknowingly the daughter of a family friend cause i didn’t realize that what i was saying was Very Gay, but the first time making the conscious decision was to @nellotone

73. is your crush wlw?

one of them is!

75. write a short love poem to your crush/self?

we gonna pass, my poetry is shit

77. is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about?

oh lots of things. i stole a lot of little stuff as a kid, i made some poor choices in general, some of the people i was friends with were kinda sus

79. are you a forgiving person?

on the outside yes, but on the inside i remember all the ways i think someone has wronged me

81. fall asleep in her arms or rub her back until she falls asleep in yours?

fall asleep in her arms cause i am a bitch who just wants someone to take care of her

83. hugs or kisses?

why not both?

85. tummy kisses or thigh kisses?

thigh kisses

87. play with her hair or stroke her tummy?

play with her hair

89. hugs around the neck or hugs around the waist?

hugs around the waist cause we short af

91. when you like someone do you blush or get butterflies in your stomach?

i know my face gets hot so i think i blush?? i never have a mirror around when i think i’m blushing lmao

93. how old were you when you realized you were into girls?

i think like seventh grade?

95. do you have a favorite lesbian ship? is it canon?

maybe casey and izzie from atypical? it is totally cannon

97. when was the last time a girl made your heart flutter?

this girl at work be kinda cute and she talked to me the other day so,,,,yeahhh

99. ask me anything.

you didn’t ask me anything chief what about that

[perfektblau]

13, 49, 66!!

13. Do you get jealous easily?

……..More than I’d like to admit, I guess. I’ve been told that I’m visibly jealous in relationships and I don’t like that about myself. It used to be pretty bad when I was much younger, to the point I’d act hostile towards other girls who seemed “too friendly” to my then-boyfriend. My ex at that time thought it was flattering tho PFFTT. (of course, he got tired of that over time) I admit it was very immature of me. I’ve learned over time to be better than that.  

But am I still a jealous person? YEAP I AM. I just hate to admit it, but I’m trying to accept myself that this is just who I am and I’ve become better at managing my emotions. Also learned that my jealous tendency roots from conflicts within myself, so yeap

49. If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, what is your favorite thing about him/her?

I got a lot of things to say, but if I have to choose one…hmmm 

it would be how he always choose to be loving and understanding, despite all the rough times we had in our relationship. He’s a gentle giant and he’s the best person I’ve ever been with. I remember awhile ago, I asked him if my mental health issue repulses him (before I was being properly medicated and seeing a therapist).  he told me with a genuinely compassionate expression, “ I think you need a lot of love and understanding…” and gave me a hug. *cries* He encourages me to be a better person like that. 

66. What is your favourite roleplay?

*Warning: TMI Time. read at your own risk  🙈

😳 ….. Hard to choose a favorite because I have a few that I like.

-Kidnapping (surprise surprise). Me being the kidnapper. Or being the kidnapped. Involving ropes, duct tapes, knife, etc. and after all that rough play, being sweet to the kidnapped, spoon feeding, tending their wounds fawjasdokdaiww

-Hunter and Prey. Chasing or being chased. Biting or Getting bitten. growling, just going feral and having it rough in the woods against a tree. I sometimes fantasize about doing this when the sun is about to go down, but super dangerous at night, so naw 🙈 🙈 🙈 I’m all about voice kink, so imagining hearing growls and heavy breathing after a long chase seems very nice. 

-Teacher and student. Err, I was into this kink since I was young because I had a crush on a teacher before in high school. and also a professor in college… I like being the student. I actually tried this  at my college classroom after class hours  (NOT with actual teacher/professor!).

[kendricksendrick]

im such a bitch heres some fun facts about me

how tall are you?

5 foot 2ish

what is your body type?

ex-gymnist who wakeboards a lot

what is your favorite part about your body?

um my boobs i guess idk

is your current hair color your natural hair color?

currently dirty blonde but once summer/vacation comes around my hair will go black to bleach blonde on its own

are you more outgoing or more shy

im quiet

are you more femme or butch?

femme

are you tol or smol?

smol bean

wine mom or vodka aunt?

vodka aunt

weird habit?

need chapstick 24/7

favorite meme?

bon apetit

do you sing in the shower?

i used to but now i just have therapy with myself

ever used a bow and arrow?

nope

are/were you a theatre kid?

yes haha

have you ever seen a broadway musical?

i want to!!

do you think musicals are cheesy?

no wtf i was just in one yesterday it was amazing

have you ever been a part of a protest or a march?

no

favorite Cards Against Humanity Card?

all of them also this just reminded me im gonna buy this game 

last movie you watched?

monsters in lol

behind the camera or in front of it?

behind

favorite tv show?

30 rock

meaning behind your url

it came to me randomly

reason you joined tumblr

in 7th grade my friend told me it was cool and here i am 5yrs later with like 4 blogs

who’s your closest tumblr friend?

my irl friend alex

what’s something most people love that you hate?

kim k

have you ever taken narcotics?

no

have you had sex?

i wish 

have you ever gotten caught sneaking out or doing anything bad?

never caught :)))

worst/funniest lie you’ve ever told?

funniest lie is that im straight lol

describe your passion without mentioning it.

its all with our mouths ;)

describe your best friend.

cute, funny, dumb asf, the best

give us one thing about you that no one knows.

im an open book just ask and i will tell

how do you feel right now?

tired and hungry

what is your biggest fear?

alone forever also sleep paralysis

what’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?

gold mine by colbie calliat idk how to spell it

what is the best decision you’ve made in your life so far?

saying no balls to myself and stalking through instagrams on a 3hr car ride to find my girl and the her snap and then sayying no balls and snapping her :))

have you ever tried your hardest and then been disappointed in the end?

currently putting forth minimum effort i have senioritis

something you fantasize about.

kiss my gorl

last time you cried and why

last night or maybe it was this morning? i was doing the 24hr musical at my school (we have 24hrs to put together an ENTIRE musical and all $ goes to charity!) but i cried from laughing so hard doing yoga

what was the last thing that made you laugh?

the 24 hr musical

do you really, truly miss someone right now?

grandmaaa

who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything?

my church gc bc we the true ho(e)mies

the last time you felt broken?

idk like a week ago

are you starting to realize anything?

ya actually maybe im just a lesbian and not bi who knows

are you more dominant or more submissive?

sub i think

i’ll only date you if _____. (fill in the blank)

you make me smile

do you prefer to date people the same age as you, younger, or older?

same age

describe the person you’re in love with/have a crush on in great detail.

great detail lets go!

shes in my grade bu9t goes to a different school but her hair is short like mine but darker and shes tanner than me and taller but just by a little bit! she has really nice eyes and a good smile and is sososo sweet no matter what stupid thing i say to her and i miss her a lot i wanna cuddle with her and i when we go on our next date catch me cuddling with her no matter what and she is in band too but going to college way far away in the fall so we will both be sad bois then but its okay because we have all summer to  hang out and cuddle and be something did i mention she is pretty af

do you have any kinks?

no

first thing you notice in a person?

tbh if they smell good and teeth

how can someone win your heart?

call me pretty

been rejected by a crush?

haha yes but its okay guys

have you ever had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back?

no but vice versa so thats super awkward

would you have sex with the last person you text messaged?

no

is trust a big issue for you?

i just want the truth

did you hang out with the person you like recently?

is november for 2hrs considered recent ;(

is confidence cute?

YES

what would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy?

happy 4 u 

would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh?

no lol

does the person you have feelings for right now know you do?

yes she does

ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush?

got my car stuck in the mud infront of hher on our first date

do you want to get married

yes!

worst thing you’ve ever done?

been a big bitch

three things that turn you on.

being called babe/baby, being teased, and idk

who do you hate?

lowkey one of my super lose friends oops

favorite term of endearment?

love

who was your celebrity/fictional gay awakening?

ANNA KENDRICK GOD DAMN

intimidating girls or kind girls?

kindddd

what do you look for in a possible partner?

nice to me

do you tend to like more masculine, feminine, or androgynous girls?

i do not know ive only really ever liked one girl and also my straight best friend bc im a dumb bitch

are you good at flirting?

tbh no

who was the first person you came out to?

my church gc

do you have any friends who are wlw?

YEs!

is your crush wlw?

ye

last person to make you reconsider your sexuality?

the boy who asked me to prom has me thinking am i bi or lesbooo

write a short love poem to your crush/self?

sweet are your eyes like honey in the sun

you make me smile

do you fall in love easily?

no

is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about?

that time i was a big boi bitch to a girl 

are you good at hiding your feelings?

ha no

are you a forgiving person?

yes

what is your “type?”

good question

fall asleep in her arms or rub her back until she falls asleep in yours?

probs fall asleep on her

tall girls or short girls?

taller than mee

hugs or kisses?

kiss!

twirl her around or get twirled?

TWIRL HER THAT WOULD BE SO CUTE

tummy kisses or thigh kisses?

ooh both

hairline kisses or neck kisses?

neckk

play with her hair or stroke her tummy?

both

making out or soft kisses?

soft kisses 

hugs around the neck or hugs around the waist?

NECK OO

how confident are you in your sexuality?

haha good one im happy with who i am tho!

when you like someone do you blush or get butterflies in your stomach?

butterflies to the maxx

have you ever liked a friend as more than a friend? did you tell them?

like(d) my straight best friend and will not be telling her that lol

my girl tho i def told her ;))

how old were you when you realized you were into girls?

16ish id say

most embarrassing thing you’ve done in front of a cute girl?

so many things everything i do is embarassing

do you have a favorite lesbian ship? is it canon?

BECHLOE!

what is the most aggravating thing someone has said to you about your sexuality?

every word about lgbt that comes out of my mothers mouth since i am not out to her and now not planning on it for a very long time bc shes a big ignorant bitch!!

when was the last time a girl made your heart flutter?

haha good question idk

what is love to you?

ALWAYS putting others before you no matter what

ask me anything.

i will answer do it no balls

[irl-ichi]

since this is a "talk to myself where i cant annoy the followers on my main" blog i didnt expect anyone to follow me but ive been getting some twisted wonderland fans following me

just wanna put this out there: there wont be any romantic/sexual content related to that game or characters on here

i know that some of them are 18 and older i still think its weird since theyre all in high school and i get that the majority of the player base is teenagers so im not like. accusing everyone of anything (if youre 22+ and post smut youre getting blocked tho, 21 and unders with only leona/lilia and 19 and unders with the 18 year olds are on thin ice only because this IS a high school setting, anyone posting that stuff of minors gets blocked regardless of age just so i wont see it in the tags anymore). but im an adult in college and this game has no romance in it anyway so im just here to analyze another one of the pathetic little depressed men i collect

i guess all this to say... if youre a twst fan scared to follow anyone because of the overwhelming presence of nsfw you can feel safe here knowing it wont show up (there will be content from other games that hints at that stuff however) ALSO if youre a creepy adult fantasizing about child characters hoping for nsfw content you will be obliterated on sight

[roguestarsailor]

musing about life after one year since graduating from college (pt 1)

i just watched a video of this kid checking on her college admission statuses. she applied to like the big schools like uw, stanford, columbia, georgetown, ucla, and uchicago. and she got mostly waitlisted which was a bummer but also not completely hopeless. 

seeing all her options though, i am just in awe and feeling a bit regretful. i think i wish i had applied to those schools as well. i didn’t hate that i went to my university but it wasn’t my top choice. it was an option. i am sad that i didn’t look at other schools though; i barely did my research and honestly i picked my schools cuz the other kids in my class talked up that school or they were schools I saw on tv (minus harvard, yale and princeton). 

looking back, i wish i had tried harder in school. i wish i had gotten better test scores. i wish i had actively looked for schools that weren’t so local. i wish i had been real with what i actually wanted to do. i wish i had truly accepted the person that i am and not the person i wanted to be.

i realize that i was hell bend on being a computer science major. i wanted to do computer science. i thought i was good at computer science but in reality, i think i was average at best and didn’t work as hard as i should have to really develop my skills. i enjoyed it enough to get the job done. but i think it was because i loved the idea of being a computer scientist; being able to build these amazing systems that will revolutionize the industry. the reality was that i didn’t enjoy sitting in a chair for hours on end staring at a glowing screen debugging lines of code. i wasnt good with the theory behind it either (its cool but fuck data structures!!!!). i was always told i had a knack for using tech and putting together tech and throughout school i would be the one to help the teachers troubleshoot tech problems (i.e. turn it on and off, downloading software. how to use the software, etc) but that’s not really a science is it. my end goal of that CS degree would have been web design but having a CS degree wasn’t going to help with that.

im glad that i had design on my brain when i was a senior but i refused to think design was what i wanted to study. i did fall victim to the i’ll have a “real job” and do art on the side mentality (parents didnt say that to me but the internet did tho). i applied to all the schools that had a high ranking computer science program and a few of them accepted me for it. but if i had been real with myself, i would have looked at more schools. looked at schools that specialized in design. i would not have just laser focused on this one thing and to later realize oh I fucked up and I am actually bad at it*. maybe then my decision to go to my university would have been an actual choice rather than a ok i guess im going here *shrug* (ok money did play a big role but if i worked harder in school i could have gotten more scholarships and grants esp at those big schools mentioned above). 

i think i am going to quit watching youtube. i cannot watch these young kids being so smart and educated and articulate and business savvy. i thought it would be fun to see how the kids these days are doing but holy shit i wish i was even half as good as they are.

school was such a big part of my life and it took up such a big part of my brain. and since ive been conditioned to think that being good in school = good in life, i believe that if i had done better i would have a better life or at least on my way to a thriving life i wanted. i realize today would be the anniversary of graduating from college. feeling a little bit nostalgic and feeling a little bit like i am still messing up and i still haven’t figured out what to do with myself.

but then again i had to go through the process to really know that i was not meant to be there. im glad i got that experience and was quicker to pivot before it was really was too late and i was stuck trying to pigeon hole myself into a thing that i did not end up liking. and i am in the same spot again; realizing that i am suppose to be somewhere else. don’t know where that is nor how to get there but this isn’t the place. i know it’s toxic to keep looking back and being regretful but im sad that i am not moving and all i can do is fantasize about Dream Me doing amazing things.

* March 1, 2019 will forever be scarred into my brain

[spockandawe]

So you’ve heard Spock is the actual literal devil

Have you heard that I’m a terrible person? A plagiarist? Have you been told that I’m only into transformers at all because I wanted to make this one random guy unhappy? If you’ve been told that, you’ve probably also been told that a year and a half later, I’m still making fanworks just to upset him. You might have even heard that shhhh, don’t disagree with Spock on anything, or they’ll hunt you down and harass you.

Right, okay. This is one hell of a saga that I will attempt to tell in as compressed a form as possible. It’s a lot. Years ago, back in HS, there was this one guy who policed the hell out of one of the character tags. I’m going to call him C. He’d pressure people not to make the content they were making, decry the hateful people reading with a malicious eye who thought the character would ever do anything bad (the character was a creep). And because being obnoxious wasn’t bad enough, if you didn’t cave to his demands, he just might do things like start whisper campaigns about how you support rape, casually out you as a survivor, cute little things like that.

This is not a story about that guy.

This is a story about C’s one-time attack dog, eventual boyfriend, and current ex. We’ll go ahead and call him R. I’ve tried real hard to avoid namedropping on my blog before, but could people find him from this? Probably. Have I stopped caring? Absolutely.

TL;DR, unsubstantiated accusations of serial harassment are a little questionable when they’re coming from someone with a years-long, extensively documented history of serial harassment and a personal grudge against me.

Cut for length.

Edit 7/2/2017: R has posted that he regrets making these posts about me, and admits that he said things that were out of line. And he’s stated that he’s going to try to do better in the future. I genuinely, truly appreciate that. I’m leaving this post up because there have been lies about me floating around for a while and I reserve the right to defend myself, but I really do appreciate that.

Oh balls, none of this makes sense without backstory (I’m so sorry)

If you think I suck or my work sucks, that’s fine! You do you, go enjoy the things that make you happy.

If you think I’m the devil because this one guy told you about my evil, evil past and all my terrible misdeeds, without anything at all to back up his words? You can ask me. I don’t bite, and oh lordy do I have receipts.

To be clear, R is totally allowed to hate me! I don't care. I don't care if he hates my writing, I don't care if he hates me as a person. But now he's escalated to spreading lies about me, and people are believing him, and I’m not enough of a doormat to let that just stand.

And I’m going to cheat a little. Here’s a memo with the cliffs notes version (not the original memo, I made a copy with C’s urls cropped out since he hasn’t attacked anyone in a long while). Warning, digging any distance into this turns up violent fantasies, violent sexual fantasies, creepy interactions with a minor, and lots more, it’s all really, really unpleasant. Evidence is thoroughly documented, please tread with care.

You would not believe how truncated that is compared to the reality.

Now, the worst of this came via C. Who has calmed down a lot these days, and I’m really happy that’s the case. Good for him. I hope his life continues in a direction where he doesn’t find it necessary to do this stuff.

Lucky for me, R was standing by to pick up the slack.

It doesn’t show up as much in the memo, which is mostly C-focused, but R was standing by C this whole time, defending his right to spread around private information about someone’s abuse history, sending nasty messages on the other guy’s behalf, and much,much more. it’s long, it’s awful, it’s unpleasant. R personally hurt people in some significant ways that I don’t want to link directly, for their sake. He expressed deep remorse a few times, but it never stuck.

Here’s my personal favorite quote from R. He’s speaking to the CSA survivor that C casually outed (with information given to him in confidence), and who they’d been running a long, long whisper campaign against, and who was understandably a bit upset over the whole thing:

oh go wank to your own tears [name]

#and get your sympathizers to help #nasty fucking people #maybe if you cry enough youll be able to go into second grade in the fall #ooc

Said, again, to a CSA survivor they outed and harassed. That person is such a sweetheart, and this screencap still infuriates me.

The first time I saw C pick a fight he had lots of friends. Shockingly, as he did things like loudly fantasize about how he wants to mutilate people and rant about how autistic people should die, those friends mostly drifted away. I know one person had a friend even help them stage a faux relationship-ending fight, so they could be sure they’d be able to completely cut and run from C. R stuck with him, though. Eventually they even started dating.

‘Spock followed R into transformers to harass him and stalks his favorite characters just to harass him more’

Then, transformers. Here, let me show you the first post (by R) that ever brought MTMTE to my attention. I spent years being aggressively uninterested in transformers, but this caught my eye

and honestly, ppl (adults too!!!) shipping someone who has the mentality of a child and is quite glaringly lacking a world of experiences and general understanding of things outside of ‘good’ and ‘bad’, with an adult, is just. very alarming and gross to me.

and honestly, the fact that there is a large portion of people who want him to become romantically (and sexually!!!) involved with either one of two fucking adults in canon, and hell, esp those defending it with ‘hes an adult too tho!!’ is really gross.

you can pretend all you want that hes ‘an adult’ because his body is, but theres no way jro didnt intent to code him as a child. stop fetishizing children lmao,

#pedophilia -/-/- #cygate -/-/- #if someone comes at me screaming ‘rule 38′ im gonna shove them in a locker

I didn’t know transformers, but I was pretty sure this was some straight-up bullshit.

(but don’t worry, he ships it now! no hypocrisy here, no sir)

It’s “really gross” to ship this adult with other adults. Mm. Given the reasonableness of the claims these guys have made in the past, and given their extensive history of harassing people over those claims, I hopped to the wiki to check it out. I read a bit about the comic and the plot, and all of it sounded so fascinating that I just had to give the comic a try.

Reader, I married it.

I shotgunned MTMTE 1-47 in two days, started doing fanworks right out of the gate, and I’ve never looked back. A lot of my art was cygate, because come on, the comic wants you to ship it so bad, my first readthrough ended with issue 47, and that was the first ship I’d ever read about for the series, even before I dove in.

Now, both these characters punch me right in the heart, in some painfully personal ways. Tailgate’s the more relevant one here, but I don’t even know if I could do justice to the emotions both of them give me.

I’m still not a fan of how R’s lies about me have edged me into needing to say this in public, but okay. I’m developmentally delayed. It’s been a rough ride. And Tailgate hits me in some of those spots so hard it just takes my breath away. I’ve got a lot of baggage over not being a real adult, and not in the funny oh-no-how-do-taxes-work way, more like an extended months-long meltdown my first year of college because I can tell that my friends are years ahead of me and I don’t know how to even start catching up, and just existing, as myself, is humiliating.

All of my relationship milestones have come painfully, painfully late. The whole thing is still one awful emotional bruise. I hate it, and I hate how easy it is to convince myself that yeah, of course you don’t actually deserve to be treated as an adult and you never will. Just look at you. So then it is unbelievably important to me that I can see someone someone who is like me, being treated as a legitimate adult, and being able to have an adult relationship.

Hearing that shipping someone like me is essentially pedophilia is the opposite of that.

But he ships it now, so everything is fine :)

Yeah, you know what? Another fucking receipt.

uGHGH im so tired of all the rabid cy// /gat// //e fans like even cy’s giving em a look like ‘leave my fucking child alone’

#i just #im hoping jro has some taste tho and doesnt make an adult date a child #and if not im hoping the outcome blows over soon bc im so tired of seeing people defend pedophilia #pedophilia -/-/-

Parental.

This continued even after JRO explicitly confirmed Tailgate was an adult.

Bonus ableism: shipping Whirl (another character who hits me way too hard) isn’t okay either. Even though there isn’t the excuse of ‘but he only lived three years--’ No, at that point, you’re saying that an adult who fails to adult correctly does not count, and isn’t allowed to have romantic relationships. It makes my skin crawl, and it is an issue which is very personally and directly important to me.

So some of my cygate was porn from the start (it’s what I write. it’s what I draw.), and some of the porn was made because I was upset over discourse that says someone like me needs to be treated as a child. I played with cywhirlgate too, because omg how could I not, and some of that was porn as well. It was ages ago, so I don’t remember the details for every little thing I made. But when I saw someone saying that Cyclonus and Tailgate had a parental relationship, I’m sure that helped nudge me in that direction. Maybe R thinks I should have channeled my emotions by starting a whisper campaign to exclude him from fandom spaces. But I think my way of working through bad emotions might have been a little healthier than that.

So when R accuses me of making cygate content to spite him? Half true. Just true enough to be real fucking dishonest. R spent a nice long time insisting that cygate was pedophilia. I channeled my outrage over that ableism into fan creations.

I didn’t attack him. I talked about him some – on a private forum, with people who’d already been aware of him and had been watching him and C hurt people for years, plural. I haven’t told people on tumblr any real details about him until now. And R still is happy to talk about how it was his toxic ex’s right to post torture/rape/murder porn vent fic about actual people.

Tell me, how exactly am I in the wrong?

Bonus pettiness: I posted some cywhirlgate porn. The next day, R vaguely whined about robot pedophilia and turned around and wrote some obviously-a-response cywhirlgate. Where it was super platonic and the text explicitly said it was super platonic and it even had platonic thigh nuzzling. With two “children” involved. Of course I turned around and wrote more fic of my own, because jesus h christ that made my skin crawl. You want to play this game? I guarantee I can write faster than you, let’s do this. (he did not follow through on that)

I’d also like to say that forgetting inconvenient little details like this is a thing with R. Hard to call me terrible for writing spitefic when you write it yourself.

A history of Spock’s personal involvement

Let’s backtrack a tiny bit. You may notice I am up to my elbows in this nonsense for no clear reason.

I was friends with some of the people C was taking shots at, and I was unfortunate enough to believe his original smear campaign about that one artist (I’m still ashamed about that). I cared about a number of people C was trying to hurt. I think one or two fanworks of mine upset him, but he already had loads of targets. I kept tabs on him and R, because anxiety is the gift that just keeps giving.

Eventually, C fantasized about wanting to put my former datemate’s hand through a meat grinder (ey wrote a fic that portrayed his fave in a negative light). And R defended his right to do that.

The person he posted about is still feeling the effects of that incident. I’m still feeling the effects of that. And it wasn’t even directed at me, just someone I care deeply about.

R has recently posted that ‘oh my goodness, C sure was awful, remember when he posted this thing about a meat grinder and how unreasonable it was?’ Thanks buddy, glad you noticed, now just go ahead and keep on blaming me for the aftereffects of what your boyfriend did, and what you defended.

After that, it was months before I could properly look away from either of their blogs.

C posted extensively about trying to track down the street address of his ~enemies~ (including the one whose genitals he fantasized about mutilating). He posted about how autistics should die. He had skype chats about wanting to do amateur brain surgery on people. All while posting very often about finding real addresses.

Yeah, it’s more than a year later, and every so often I get a stab of anxiety and have to head off to double check on what these two are up to.

I will repeat that C has been pretty chill lately. He’s got a career he’s aiming for. Good for him, go find success, please don’t slip back into being an internet bully. It’s sad and upsetting to see R echoing some of the early patterns of his ex, and it’s so strange to see me labeled as his own personal enemy.

‘Spock will totally come harass you too’ and/or various accusations of ableism

So there are some things I did in the mix in this history that I regret. Occasionally, I went out and flipped through the blogs of C and R’s friends, seeing if maybe they’d had said something in their notes, did they have any vagueblogs C liked, did they post about— It got unreasonable. I admit that. Anxiety was at the root of it, but it absolutely got unreasonable. And also it is a massive time sink, and I can’t remember the last time I bothered with it. I enjoy life much more when anxiety and paranoia issues don’t have their claws in me. This hasn’t been an issue in a very long time.

I came down hard on some of the kinfeels and system stuff too, which I do walk back a bit. C’s approach was… hahaha. It was something. And he was my intro to the kin and system paradigms. I saw R talking about C’s approach being unreasonable too, pretty recently. So that was an unfortunate bit of poison in how I processed the next people I met who did that sort of thing. I don’t do kin stuff, but I get it. And DID may not strictly apply to all systems, by the formal diagnostic criteria, but I’ve learned there are plenty of other dissociative disorders out there. And I met people who were multiples and who did kin things that weren’t these two guys. Which helped a LOT.

But the big one, hmmm. C wrote a fic. The idea was interesting, but the execution frustrated me. Everyone but the main lead felt so… flat. Everyone was constantly cruel to the main, for no reason. I saw a way to riff on the original text while staying true to its shape, and writing my bad emotions out is also a major, major thing I do to cope. Now, my big thing is that I should have asked before I remixed. I’d been thinking in terms of, y’know, transformative fanworks. Even with authors like Anne McCaffrey and Anne Rice, who fought against fandom, people have still felt that it should be allowed, even against their wishes. So I wrote the remix. I gave full credit on ao3 in the ‘inspired by’ box, linked to the original with positive words, the whole shebang.

The guy was still furious, and… that’s fair. I thought I’d written a thing on self-sabotage that was pretty sympathetic and compelling, and the self-sabotage actually drew a lot on my own personal history. But I gave the main flaws he strongly disagreed with, and I didn’t ask for permission. I get why he was/is angry over it.

I’ve been a fixture on their shitlists ever since :P

It’s remarkable, even while R posts now about ‘oh my god, remember how C wrote the creepiest things?’, I’m still the one who’s the the actual worst, for being skeeved out by the creepy things and finding a constructive way to deal with it. R’s controlling ex gets full freedom when it comes to vent fic, even when it’s about wallowing in torturing, raping, and murdering an avatar for a real person (the original one they harassed!), or punching someone in the face until they agree to be your friend (another artist these guys targeted). But R’s position seems to be that only C is allowed to vent (even if it’s genital mutilation fantasies), and I’m definitely not.

Oh, and R has now expanded this remix into me totally having a consistent pattern of stealing ideas and plagiarism and so many remixes that are obviously done as revenge on anyone who pisses me off. So that’s nice.

So R hates your writing. Is that seriously why this post exists?

Ha, no. Let’s look at the concrete things R is saying. Here, let me post a little sampling of evidence.

These aren’t just things he’s shouting into the void, people have responded saying wow, I never knew that! These are lies that people are believing about me. And then yesterday, June 30, 2017, he warned a friend not to disagree with my meta, or I’d come harass them. A friend I’m aggressively leaving out of this, just as I’m leaving out other responses, because these people don’t deserve to be dragged into R’s bullshit.

Let’s have bullet points. Some of these are the silly spock-is-bad-at-writing complaints. Those are here because this whole mess is pretty fucking depressing and the ridiculous claims make me laugh, but these are all things he says.

Spock is evil – You know what, he’s not calling people pedophiles, which is a step up. I’ll take it.

Spock is a plagiarist – I remixed one fic with full credit, said only good things about the original, and linked to it in extra places so that people would have extra opportunities to click through and check it out. I arguably remixed inappropriately, but that’s not the same thing. Words have definitions. If I’m a plagiarist, so is everyone who’s ever written a fanfic.

Spock is something something mean when people disagree – I don’t even know, man. I’m actually shockingly conflict-averse. Is this because I make walls of text and explain why I hold opinions at great length? I enjoy talking about a thing I love. I’m autistic, I’m hyperverbal, and this is my special interest, so is it that I talk a lot? That’s the best I can do. I’ve talked about things I disagree with on a private forum, in which case mister pot has had a lot of fun in public on twitter, not only talking shit, but also spreading outright untruths. Maybe he wants to rethink this one.

Spock will come harass you if you disagree – You need to back the heck down, pal.

Spock’s meta/fic/characterization is bad and they should feel bad – Hahaha, fite me. He won’t, because I can articulately defend myself at significant length, and his criticisms seem to stop at ‘spock sucks’, but hey.

Spock used ableist language about Whirl - I... what? This one confuses me and makes me laugh so it stays here. Also, holy double standards, batman.

Spock is only into transformers to harass R – I checked out transformers because I was pretty sure R was being disgustingly ableist (he was). I stayed in transformers because I adore it. I had to adore it a lot to make me willing to share fandom space with these two. My god, I have better things to do with my life than spend all my time on something that bores me just to annoy one asshole on the other side of the internet. I’d ask if he thinks I spent dozens of painstaking hours cross-stitching Starscream just to bother him, but….. yep, pretty sure he does.

Spock goes after all of R’s favorite characters to upset him – R latches on to just about every interesting and/or sympathetic character that shows up. When he was dating C, they covered most of the cast between them. I don’t care who R likes best because I don’t agree with his opinions. I tend to stay away from his opinions because I don’t like reading things that bother me. This is asnine. I’m only allowed to like the characters R despises, I guess.

Spock makes fanworks for things R likes just to make him see them – Oh my god, I don’t caaaaaare. I write about things that interest me, unless I’m venting. Say, venting about the way R and his ex have deliberately hurt a shockingly high number of people I care about. ‘Spock made rodistar because I liked it--’ I made it because I wrote a thing about their parallels, and shipping was the obvious next step. R isn’t that important to me. Promise.

This is just exhausting, man. The anxiety bugs had been dying down, and it had been ages since I checked out this guy’s anything. C, who drove the whole initial blowup that led to this, has been quiet and chill on tumblr. But R has learned from his ex’s old example and has been having fun spreading lies about me.

In conclusion

Some fun history.

R was 18 when he told a CSA survivor upset about being outed and harassed to wank using their tears for lube.

He was older than that when he defended C’s right to post about wanting to mutilate someone’s genitals (for the crime of saying C’s logic didn’t make sense).

He was older than that when he complained about that person’s spouse being ‘vicious’ for reacting badly to C’s genital mutilation fantasy.

He was older than that when he nodded along as C called autistic people retards and said they should die.

He was older than that when he talked about being happy that someone he disliked was triggered, and nodded along when C fantasized about that person drinking bleach.

And he was older than that when he defended C, his twenty-something boyfriend, against the thirteen-year-old that C had been having incredibly inappropriate conversations with, despite skype log proof and everything.

And despite all this, I’m still the bad guy, because I didn’t think what they were doing was okay. I’m the bad guy for being upset by C's actions, even though... R is now upset by C’s actions. The ways I responded to C were inexcusable. My only motivation is to hurt people. Every thing I did that ever upset them still means I’m terrible, even though R is saying this while he’s busy posting about how awful C is. And this all means that he needs to warn his friends not to catch my attention, or I’ll come harass them.

So, I’m tired.

I’m very tired.

I’m glad he’s trying to grow past that history. Good. Maybe he can do that without making up a story about how I’m unrepentant villain who lives for villainy and who only takes joy in causing him pain. I’m sure it helps him, because it’s a story that brushes aside the shit he did that he regrets, and makes his past less painful to think about. But that doesn’t mean I’m okay with him telling lies about me.

I don’t know why I’m the one boogeyman he has left (I kid, it’s because I’m in transformers, and because he thinks I’m popular. he harps on it a lot, and it’s weird for everyone). I mean, whatever. I’ve aggressively avoided publishing drama details on here for a very long time. But there are two blog tags, miscellaneous other untagged blog content, three forum threads, and hundreds of pages of skype logs with hard evidence of this bullshit.

I’m pretty sure that if he tries to defend himself, one, he’ll place some blame on his ex. That’s fair. C was pretty darn controlling and demanding. But R is still absolutely responsible for his own actions, and is especially responsible for the harm he personally caused. He’ll talk about how it’s bullshit to pull up all these receipts from so very long ago. In that case, his receipts for me (whatever he even has) are equally old, so aren’t they null and void? No, because Spock is the devil. And it’s not so much bullshit if he’s clearly learned nothing, and has gone back to spreading outright falsehoods about people.

To be clear, a lot of the lies he told about me were told a while back. Weeks to a few months to a year. I was letting it sit, because I’d really, really hoped this was over. Yesterday, June 30, 2017, he warned a friend not to publicly disagree with my meta or I’d come and harass them.

It’s been three years since I first saw him doing this. I’ve watched him hurt a lot of people, and I’ve watched him admit, multiple times, that he has hurt people. I thought he’d learned to stop following these toxic patterns. Apparently he has not.

Edit 7/2/2017: To repeat the edit up above, R has said he regrets posting these things about me, and that he's going to try to avoid slipping into this in the future. I very much appreciate that.

[todokori-kun]

WELCOME BACK!

 <3 I really missed you, and it’s so great to hear you had fun! (and omg yes so ready to see all those beautiful pics)

Yaaayyyy join me in MCU feels hell. And oooh, you have a ship for the fandom now! Like, Stoki’s still my favorite Steve pairing but Stony’s really cool too…you know I ship almost everything XD (also am I the only person who sorta hated almost everyone by the end of CW? Like, of course they’re still my favs and there are still some cinnamon rolls, but, come on. Why couldn’t you all just get along ;-;)

Speaking of Illumi, do you know that Hisoka/Illumi is an incredibly popular ship in the HxH fandom? Probably because both of them are so horrible that they have like 0 friends other than each other. Nobody else wants to hang out with these losers. (Chrollo tolerates Hisoka and the adults in Illumi’s family seem to spend enough time with him to give him orders, but that’s about it.) It’s a trash ship with two trashy people and tbh I love it XD

So continuing with the eye jokes, imagine. Hisoillu version of Helpless. Hisoillu version of Satisfied.

“Look into his eyes and the sky’s the limit”

“Intelligent eyes in a hunger-pang frame”

(I know you did thise one before but still) “But when I fantasize at night, it’s Illumi’s eyes”

just, I’m imagining animatics for this with the ‘camera’ zooming in on Illumi’s dead fish eyes every time the lyrics mention them. It’s hilarious and also mildly terrifying

(though I guess if we’re actually making a Hamilton AU Hisoka’s way more likely to do something like Say No To This…)

idk if I’d want to be a parent either really LOL. Kids are adorable but I don’t think I’ll ever be responsible enough to raise one…

If Ishida makes a plot twist or something about it being someone else pretending to be Hide I'm actually gonna get mad. Dude. Not only would that bring the Hide feels right back it’d just make absolutely no sense omg

(also you read the new chapter, right? So, let’s talk about Juuzou and that huge death flag)

I’ve heard of Soul Eater and considered reading it but it’s not really the kind of thing I’m into…artwork’s cute, though, and Death the Kid seems like an interesting guy so maybe someday XD

AGH I’M ACTUALLY SORTA JEALOUS BECAUSE WOW I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA HOW TO WATCH THAT LEGALLY HERE IN KOREA. (unless I ask my dad for help but he doesn’t like manga/anime at all, so…) But yes, I’m really happy Lizzy finally got her moment this time! Now anime-only fans can’t complain about her being a ‘shallow’ character so hopefully there’ll be less fighting over Lizzy in the Kuro fandom :D

FINALLY. Fellow Death Note fan <3333 Who’s your fav? Do you have any ships? Are you done with the anime??? :D (also do you know…you picked a really interesting time to join the DN fandom. The American live-action movie just came out and it sucks so freaking bad, like I haven’t even watched it yet and just from the reviews/clips, here’s what I got:

-They turned Misa into this Harley Quinn-type character. Only without any depth.

-Light/Misa is an actual canon ship, like, it’s not abusive or one-sided like it is in the anime/manga, it’s just…a thing. Light loves Misa. Misa loves Light. It’s like every cringey high school romance movie ever, only with more murder

-They freaking bent the Death Note rules just so Light could get away with all sorts of ridiculous stuff

-L cries, L rants, L is overly emotional

-Light tells L where he hid a page from his Death Note. Light doesn’t deny being Kira. Light shows Misa his Death Note when they like barely know each other and she’s still a complete stranger to him. Light acts like an idiot.

-Oh sure, he’s Kira, God of the New World, but he still cares about going to prom with his girlfriend and making stupid faces as they pose for pictures

-So much unnecessary gore. Heart attacks are Kira’s thing, Light isn’t that emotional about his kills, he doesn’t care as long as the 'villains’ are dead, so why???

-Apparently Rem does not exist. Sayu doesn't exist either. Light’s mom is dead (probably so he can angst over her)

-Light Turner. Light TURNER. Out of all the surnames they could have chosen…

-And now, for the most unforgivable sin:

How dare they not include the Potato Chip scene)

And then random things: JJ and Light have the same voice actor. Yurio and Mello (imo…have you met Mello yet?) could be long-lost twins.

Also:

I’ve fallen into Steven Universe hell and now I’m imagining so. Many. Gem AUs. Have you ever heard of SU?

(look:

1- don’t stress about the messages, and come on, I’d never get mad at you over something like this! You’re way too awesome.

2-  I don’t really know what to say 'cause I’m bad at comforting people, but ugh, it sucks to hear that school’s tiring you out! Queen Luna’s gonna get through this, though. I mean, you’re great at so many things and you’re freaking smart and…this is awkward but maybe you understand Evans Language by now? XD Guess I’m just trying to say that I’m sure you’ll do great, and if you ever need someone to talk to I’m (almost) always free *hugs*

3- Um. So, other than tumblr, I think the only way I can talk with you right now is if we email each other? The email address I used this time is my real one (or rather, my dad’s, since I don’t have one of my own yet…) so maybe we can talk about this more through email and find a better way to contact each other? If that’s ok with you can you send me a message there?)

P.S:

I’ve started college and have no idea what I’m doing

*slams head against keyboard* guess who managed to get sick. It’s only been a week since school started. Whatever, I’m still going to school, but I woke up breathing like a fish on land, bc asthma. Yay.

I’m definitely gonna upload the pics today!!

Okay, but one thing I’m wondering about, is How? Not in a malicious way or anything, I’m genuinely curious to why you ship Stoki (and where it began). Was it that redemption fic you told me about or did you ship it before? 

Tbh, I didn’t hate the characters in CW, I hated the situation. Because there’s so so much pointless conflict that could easily be solved if everyone sat down and talked like normal people. But nooo we have to go around attacking each other. ((ALSO CAP’S LETTER TO TONY, I AM DEAD))

I’ve already learned (and experienced) that shipping is a very weird and unusual thing, so I’ll be honest and say I’m not even surprised that ship exists. At least it has some basis XD

I’m actually tempted to go through the lyrics of the whole musical and find every single eye line there is, only to replace it w Illumi’s eyes.

Not only zooming in on the eyes, the word itself is louder than the rest XD man if only I could draw…

Tbh I’d say I’m responsible enough (HA, that’s more or less a lie), but I’m honestly way too irritated with the little ones to be able to have one of my own. My cousin recently celebrated her 3rd bday and I was stuck looking after her during the party, bc all the adults were talking among themselves and I swear to god, I haven’t moved that much since I had to run 2km for PE. Where do they get their energy. Not to mention the adults thought it would be a good idea to leave me w her, because I’d already drunk 3 glasses of wine (i was bored and not allowed to do anything other than stare at emptiness or look after a 3yo). Turns out my tolerance isn’t that bad after all.

Lol let’s be honest, Ishida would totally do that. He knows the fandom would riot and that’s the whole point.

All the death flags. Tbh I don’t know how I feel about it. It’s obvious that either Touka or Juuzou are probably gonna die and I wan’t neither (If I have to choose tho, I’d rather Juuzou survives.) Also Naki. HNNNNNNGH

I think you’d actually like the manga? It takes a pretty dark turn compared to the anime and deals with lots of mental issues (the whole theme of the later volumes is Madness). Also, lots of death XD Well, the artwork changes drastically, so which one are you talking about XD

The girl in the coat (left first pic, middle 2nd) is the same person for reference. Death the Kid was one of my first anime crushes. The guy has OCD and is a total badass. 

MUHAHAHAHA I think someone uploaded the Lizzy fight to youtube so you can probably find it there, but I am in love. The animation is beautiful, so that’s also a huge plus. All in all, it was handled really well.

Death Note

So last I’ve watched is ep 25, aka the one WHERE L DIES. And i am not okay. I am nowhere near okay. Nope. Not at all.

Oh i’ve heard all about the adaptation. Tbh I find the whitewashing hilarious. Setting the movie in America removes so much of the series’s logic, so why? L being the way he is is probably my favourite mistake. They took the best character and ruined him completely.  POTATO CHIP SCENE NOOOO But my question is: did everything go just according to the keikaku?

Have fun w SU! I’ve watched it for a while, but gave up at some point. I might pick it up again if I have the time ^^ Word of advice, watch out for the fandom, they’re among the most toxic ones I’ve ever encountered. One time, they almost drove an artist to suicide because she didn’t draw Rose ‘thick enough’. So yeah.

What did I do to deserve you as my friend TT^TT Thank you so so much, those words mean more than you can imagine.

Um. Looks like we’ll be staying here, because I never, ever check my mail, despite getting school assignments there, so yeah. If we used mail, you’d probably get a response every leap year.

How does the education system work in Korea? Like, at what age do you start going to which school?

Also, I’ve told you about Mystic Messenger? I think you’d like the newest update, because damn, it’s creeping me out. Also, it’s in Korean, so + ((My thoughts during the prologue of the new route: Nani the fuck))

[wheredidhiseyebrowsgo]

@whatrparks asked for an update on accidental relationship and pining. Here’s the pining update and I’ll probably do the accidental relationship one tomorrow! - Anastasia

Daddy Dearest by StilinskiSexual (CurlyLahey)

(1/? I 186 I Explicit I Sterek)

Derek Hale is a strong, independent dad who don't need no man.

Then why does he fantasize about bending his son's new kindergarten teacher over his desk, and wants to cook him dinner?

Or

Derek Hale is a single dad to baby Isaac and baby Liam and swears he doesn't need anyone else, that is until he meets the most handsome man he's ever seen with eyes that feel like home. No, he hasn't been reading Erica's Romance novels.

won't sleep by triggeringthehealing (froggydarren)

(1/1 I 303 I General I Sterek)

He doesn’t sleep because on those nights, he doesn’t want to. Because on those nights, he finds a spot where he can see the sky, where he can keep his eyes on the bright circle in the darkness around it.

Pretty, Pale (and Mine) by OverMyFreckledBody

(1/1 I 591 I Mature I Jennifer/Kali)

From the first time Kali has set eyes on Julia, she's known, wanted.

Julia's got pale, perfect skin. Kali wants to mark it.

Real Life, Love by QuickLikeLight

(1/1 I 829 I General I Scott/Lydia)

The sound of Lydia’s key in the lock makes him breathe a small sigh of relief. Lydia’s home. She’ll know what to do.

Nonsexual Favors by 42hrb

(1/1 I 851 I Teen I Sterek)

Derek gets a text from Stiles in the middle of the night asking for help. He'll always help Stiles.

The Twenty Dollar Date by Lacrosse_CandyCorn_Puns

(1/1 I 904 I General I Sterek)

Derek pines, Stiles pines, and Finstock just wants the cafeteria to stop serving those god awful fish tacos. Is that too much to ask?!

The Line by inatshej

(1/1 I 931 I Explicit I Sterek)

They spend the whole hour discussing the topic. Both leave with the list of the books to read. The line between them, so clear before – Derek is a TA, Stiles is a student – becomes blurry.

Strawberries and Lemonade by mikkimouse

(1/1 I 992 I Teen I Sterek)

Stiles had volunteered to help Derek out with the garden out at the pack house this summer, though also admittedly, he’d done so because he was nursing the most unrequited of unrequited crushes. Spending all summer staring at Derek’s well-muscled back and ass seemed like both the best and worst idea in the world at the same time, and Stiles had absolutely zero sense of self-preservation.

That's Just My Face Stiles by 42hrb

(1/1 I 1,040 I Teen I Sterek)

After Scott manages to break all the centerpieces for Lydia and Jackson's wedding Stiles and Derek are stuck together making new ones. 

meat cute by bleep0bleep

(1/1 I 1,046 I Teen I Sterek)

Stiles sees it when he’s grocery shopping, the display hardly touched, people opting for the cheaper, non-heart shaped packages of steak. He gets it, he really does, after all, what’s the point of buying specially packaged meats for your significant other if you’re just gonna take the thing out of the box and cook it, anyways?

But if you had a werewolf sweetheart, this would be awesome, right?

Stiles snaps a photo and sends it to Kira, asking if she’s got a present for Scott yet. She texts him back a second later with, aw thanks i already got him a present when i went xmas shopping tho

And then: u should give it to ur werewolf ;)

Stiles stares at his phone, because he doesn’t have a werewolf. Well, technically he has a crush on a werewolf, but that doesn’t really count.

He buys the steak anyways.

Derek's bad luck? by Lonelyirises

(2/2 I 1,401 I General I Sterek)

For a few seconds he couldn’t believe his eyes, when he saw the mole speckled specimen of beauty was standing a few feet away from him, in process of moving heavy looking boxes in to the next house. And the second Derek got over the disbelief he realized his whole world had come crashing down. Why did the universe hate him so much?

Derek had left the his hometown, unable to deal with the heartache and moved to this “nowhere” town about 3 hours away from Beacon Hills, the day Stiles had married Lydia. What was more pathetic? Stiles had no idea Derek existed. And yet… and yet after everything Derek had gone through, and left behind, Stiles was moving in, right next door to him. Derek couldn’t believe his bad luck.

Under Development by dr_girlfriend

(1/? I 1,411 I Teen I Sterek)

Environmental lawyer Derek Hale is determined to stop the planned defacement of his beloved Beacon Hills Preserve by the mammoth Starr Development company. To do so, he makes a deal with the devil himself — Stiles Starr, the brash young scion of the Starr family and COO of Starr Development. Derek hates Stiles at first sight. Mieczysław Stilinski, on the other hand, is someone that Derek could grow to like...or even love.

Praise Jesus for Stiles Stilinki's Hot Bod by TheChosenOneIamNot

(2/? I 1,508 I Mature I Sterek)

Derek and Stiles have been officially dating for six months now and everything is going great, except for one small thing. He's never seen Stiles shirtless despite many heated makeout sessions that end in one or both having to change their pants. Obviously this must be due to Stiles lack of self esteem and must be remedied immediately. With the packs help, hopefully Derek will be able to get into Stiles pants (and shirt) before he dies of sexual frustration.

I Want You to Show Me by hazelNuts

(1/1 I 1,510 I General I Sterek)

Stiles slides out of his car and softly closes the door, wincing when the hinges groan. He trails behind Derek as they walk to his house, close enough that he can intervene if necessary, but far enough away that he knows he won’t wake Derek up. When they arrive at his place, he sits on the porch steps, pulls out his phone, and waits.

Pizza with a Side of Panic by SnazzyJazzyH

(1/1 I 1,767 I Teen I Sterek)

Stiles hates pizza but that sure doesn't stop him from ordering pizza from Hale of a Pizza. Although the hot delivery guy probably had something to do with it.

Last Call by Inell

(1/1 I 1,822 I Teen I Stiles/Danny/Jackson)

Stiles decides to drown his sorrows but the bar owners aren’t cooperating with his plan.

Girl Crushed by ExpectroPatronum74

(1/1 I 2,111 I Mature I Sterek)

Derek is in love with Stiles and has been for months, but he has a problem. Stiles is dating Malia and Derek's chances are not looking too good.

Haven't you heard the rumours? by fairyfey

(1/1 I 2,162 I Teen I Sterek)

Stiles is a drama teacher who tends to overshare, Derek is a nerdy english teacher who somehow makes cardigans sexy and the students think they should be together.

or

We’re both high school teachers and my students ship us but I won’t let them tell you au

Eating habits by SourwolfZiam

(1/1 I 2,355 I Mature I Sterek)

"Have you ever eaten your own barf? "Stiles"

Or, Stiles and Derek get their shit together.

starry eyed and nerdified by haleofStilesheart

(1/1 I 2,392 I General I Sterek)

For the past two weeks Stiles has been leaving Derek anonymous love notes. Derek finally guesses who his secret admirer is.

quoting Rhett Butler by haleofStilesheart

(1/1 I 2,445 I Teen I Sterek)

Stiles has a bad habit of dating complete assholes. Good thing Derek's there to knock some sense into him.

what in carnation? by haleofStilesheart

(1/1 I 2,985 I General I Sterek)

Deliveryman wasn't exactly Derek's dream job but it helped put him through school so he couldn't complain. Especially since it helped him meet the love of his life.

I Fell in Love with My Best Friend (2.0) by DerekHaleGirl97

(1/1 I 3,515 I Not Rated I Sterek)

Now I realize you are the only one It's never too late to show it. Grow old together, Have feelings we had before Back when we were so innocent

I pray for all your love Girl, our love is so unreal I just wanna reach and touch you, squeeze you, somebody pinch me (I must be dreaming) This is something like a movie And I don't know how it ends, girl But I fell in love with my best friend...

Grand Jeté by thekissballad (kkpsigirl)

(1/1 I 3,753 I General I Sterek)

“I don't mean to be rude, Dad,” she said toward Stiles before turning back to Derek, “but as you saw, Mr. Hale, he's not the most graceful person.”

Stiles snorted, turned red and covered his face while his daughter continued. “I don't want him to perform a grand jeté and hurt himself. He needs to be able to catch all the bad guys. So...” she trailed off, looking between both men.

Code Sea Witch by ANTchan

(1/1 I 4,975 I General I Sterek)

At Lydia Martin’s Nereid Crown they have a code: “Somebody asked for the Sea Witch.”

Recipe for the heart. by skyblue993

(3/5 I 5,018 I Teen I Sterek)

It's the last year of high school and Stiles is ready to leave everything behind but there's only one thing he wants to do before leaving for college; Conquer Derek's heart.

To Move On is to Grow by WhisperedWords12

(1/1 I 5,886 I Explicit I Stiles/Everyone)

Stiles decided to put on the collar that marked him as a sub for public use at 16. By law, it was the youngest he is allowed to, and was the only one in his year to do so. It's when Scott gets bitten and Derek comes into town that everything changes.

What You Need by dragon_temeraire

(1/1 I 6,230 I Explicit I Sterek)

Derek is an alpha with unusual desires. 

Shadows We Make by Alwaysdreaming95

(3/? I 8,728 I Teen I Sterek)

After Defeating the Nogistune Stiles twin, Jada, ends up coming back to Beacon Hills after living in Ireland. The only problem in this family reunion is abondoment and the trouble that follows her home. She tries to deal with her past traumas and her nightmares. This is a story that follows Jada in her journey to deal with the alpha and his pack that wants her dea and her new... old life in Beacon Hills.

Sevens and Eights by calrissian18

(1/1 I 10,092 I Teen I Sterek)

Stiles has a bandage slung under his chin like a disembodied helmet strap when Derek first meets him. It’s complemented by a chipped front tooth and a scrape of road rash across his cheek.

Mischief and a SourWolf by LoneWolf1993

(6/? I 12,520 I Not Rated I Sterek I MCD)

It's been four months since Derek left Beacon Hills and has began to settle into his new life. Until he gets a message from the life he left that has him coming back to the reason he left in the first place.

Easy, Cheesy by crookedcig

(6/? I 18,881 I Teen I Sterek)

Derek sets his kitchen on fire (a little bit). Stiles is a firefighter called to the scene. Derek communicates his anger with eyebrows alone, and Stiles falls in lust. Slowly, they both fall in more than that.

aka what happens when I try to write how their lives would be different if Laura had refused to ever go back to California.

I like to be called cupcake, too. by ellsaba (laceydean)

(16/? I 18,855 I Teen I Sterek)

It look a long time to come up with a name for the bakery.

Or, it took a long time for Stiles to accept that “no, we’re not going to call it Stilinski’s Bakeski’s, what is wrong with you, it’s not even your business”. Which, yeah, wasn’t one of his greater ideas, but it was one of his ideas. Plural.

Unbreakable by rufferto, SlasherFiend

(3/? I 42,478 I Explicit I Petopher)

After a particularly unsettling week alone in the house he used to share with the wife he loved, Chris has had a little bit too much to drink. Normally he can deal with pain and feelings. Normally he can sort everything out and soldier forward. When he is at the end of his rope there is something that he needs to do and someone who can help him if he chooses to. So he leaves himself open practically inviting the Werewolf to come kill him. But it’s not a fight he wants. A little more than ten years ago he had an affair with Peter Hale. At that time period, he’d needed someone, something to pull him out of the path he was on before it was too late. Before he became Gerard. Peter had been that person. Peter had been the only one to get through to him, make him talk. Peter was the reason Allison didn’t get trained at a young age. Chris handled the ending of it badly. He’d hurt Peter who had fallen in love with him. In spite of being in love, he’d chosen his family. Now he needs that again, he’s falling into that pit and only one man can pull him out of it, if he chooses to.