#been experimenting so much with my painting this week I feel like I'm getting more powerful with each piece 💪😤

[lylahammar]

the one perk he can't earn

[punkshort]

Swept Away | Epilogue: Smooth Sailing

Pairing: sugardaddy!Joel Miller x f!reader

Chapter Summary: Your new job at The Parador allows for some exciting perks.

Chapter Warnings: language, angry!joel, oral (m!receiving), smut (18+ MDNI), office sex, unprotected piv sex (reader has implant now as previously mentioned, we're safe), spanking, praise kink, mentions of substance abuse (not Joel or reader)

WC: 6.1K

Series Masterlist

Ten Months Later

It was still surreal sometimes to walk into an office with your name and Creative Lead printed on a nameplate next to your door, but after a handful of months, you were beginning to feel like less of an imposter.

Admittedly, it wasn't the type of job you had been applying for. You tried to use your experience as a production assistant to get your foot in the door with a talent agency, but you weren't having any luck. When Joel offered you the job in his marketing department, you didn't think you were qualified for it, but after discussing the duties with Caroline Harris, the creative director, you discovered your background would be well suited for the job. He must have known you would have instantly taken a liking to her because after a few more days of soul searching, you accepted the offer.

It felt strange in the beginning, and sometimes you still felt paranoid other employees were looking at you like you didn't deserve your success, but you felt confident all the hard work you did in the past several months spoke for itself.

And as it turned out, you were actually really fucking good at your job.

You left your office door cracked and set your things down on top of the chest of drawers behind your desk. Smoothing down your simple, grey dress that fell just above the knee, you sat down with a sigh in your leather chair and booted up your computer. While you waited for it to turn on, you sipped your coffee and glanced at your phone.

Zoe: Remember to call me later, I have news! I'm dating someone new!

You grinned and tapped out a quick response, promising to call before it got too late on the East Coast. Zoe never found out the truth about you and Joel, but you figured by now it didn't matter much. As far as she knew, you were still planning the "wedding", but it was just delayed until the hotel was built in Fiji, meaning you had a decent chunk of time to come up with another cover.

You saw a flash on your computer screen, indicating the monitor was up and running, so you placed your phone down to type in your password, then gasped excitedly when you were reminded of a Zoom call you had scheduled with Ellie.

Even though hiring Ellie wasn't technically your idea, Joel told Caroline it was because as he had told you at the time, he wouldn't have given her a second thought had you not been so taken with her work. So Caroline put you in charge of overseeing her progress, as well as a few other things for the new hotel.

It had been almost a month since you last spoke to Ellie and you were thrilled to get an update. The little video popped up, briefly displaying her name before she turned her camera on. You grinned from ear to ear when you finally saw her, specks of paint adorning her face and hair.

"How are you still up? Isn't it, like, three in the morning?" you asked.

"Yeah, but you know I do all my best work at night," Ellie replied before flipping the camera around so you could see her studio. There were a few drop cloths down, splashed with all sorts of colors of paint, and about six easels, all of which held paintings in different stages.

"Don't look at those yet, they aren't done," she said, and you laughed.

"You're the one in control of the camera, remember?"

"Yeah, yeah," she mumbled. You could hear her converse sneakers scuffing along the canvas drop cloth while she took you across the room. She flicked on a light and you gasped at the shock of color.

"Oh, my god!" you exclaimed.

"Man, I was feeling so inspired last week, I just couldn't stop. We had a little tropical storm blow through and it just created all these beautiful scenes. Like, beauty amongst the wreckage, you know?" Ellie was saying as she slowly walked around the room, panning the camera to each painting so you could get a good look.

"Oh, wow. Ellie... these are stunning. You've made such incredible progress, I'm so impressed!"

She finished her lap around the room and there was a pause in the video before her face returned to the screen.

"Yeah, thanks. It's going really well. You know how nervous I was in the beginning, I didn't think I would be able to make the amount of paintings you were looking for, but at this rate I think I'll have them done ahead of schedule."

"Well, I always knew you could do it. You're so talented and you see things in such a different way than everyone else. I swear, your work is going to make the hotel really stand out," you gushed before taking a long sip of coffee.

"You gotta thank Joel again for me," Ellie said, flicking off the light and heading back into the main part of her studio. "The amount of money he's paying me is keeping my bills paid so I can focus entirely on this."

"I will. I'm sure I'll see him later this afternoon. He'll be so happy to hear about all your progress."

"I'll take a few pictures and text them to you before I go to bed. That way, he can see for himself," she promised.

"That sounds perfect. Is there anything else you need? How's Dina?"

You spent the rest of your thirty minutes catching up with her about her girlfriend, laughing as she told you how Dina finally wore her down and they adopted a cat. Just as she was telling you how the cat stepped in some paint and walked across one of her paintings, she yawned.

"Go get some sleep. We'll touch base again next month but in the meantime, if anything comes up, you know how to reach me."

She gave you a little wave before ending the call and you sat back in your chair, your office filled with silence once again.

The rest of your morning was spent reviewing potential candidates for a pianist position in the hotel lobby. On one screen you had a video of a candidate playing and on the other, their resume and list of references. All of them were natives from Fiji, just like Joel had promised Glenn.

By noon, you had whittled down the candidates to your top five. You were making a little pile with your notes written on bright pink post-it's when you heard a gentle knock on your door.

"Come in," you answered distractedly.

"Hey... busy?" Liam said. You looked up and smiled before shaking your head and offering him a seat.

"Just getting some resumes ready for the pianist job. I have to set up some interviews after lunch. What's up?"

Liam sighed dramatically and collapsed into a chair.

"Your boyfriend is on a tear today, I needed a break," he said, curling his fingers into a loose fist so he could examine his cuticles.

"Why? What's going on?" you asked, setting down your pen, curiosity piqued.

"Well... first, Jack kicked his ass during his boxing lesson, which he always fucking hates," Liam said with a roll of his eyes. "Then he found out there was a delay in shipping the marble flooring, but I told him that shit's coming from Italy and it's custom!"

"He really hates when there's any delays in construction," you said, wrinkling your nose. You had seen your fair share of his outbursts over the past few months as the hotel in Fiji slowly became a reality. Joel always said, Time is money, baby. The longer this takes, the less money I make.

"Then Tommy called to tell him some wood or... something... got damaged in a storm they had down there recently, so now he's waiting on another shipment from the states."

You buried your face in your hands at that point, knowing exactly the type of mood Joel was in just one floor above you. On one hand, you were always thrilled whenever Joel and Tommy spoke after they finally hashed things out and made amends six months ago. But on the other, you would have much preferred Tommy call with an update about his wife, Maria, or TJ, their son.

"And about ten minutes ago, Chrissy spilled his coffee," Liam finished, dropping his hand to his lap and crossing his legs. "Only saving grace was she spilled it on the floor and not on him."

You cringed when you imagined how stressed out poor Chrissy must have been in that moment. She was a trooper, you had to hand it to her. She had been Joel's secretary for almost three years and every time you saw her she looked more meek and frightened than the last time.

"So, what you're saying is I should surprise him and take him out to lunch."

Liam's face broke out with a huge grin and he lightly clapped his hands.

"Would you mind? I think it would really help. He's always so much easier to handle after he sees you." He was really laying it on thick now and you knew it.

"I already agreed, you can drop it," you laughed, locking your computer and grabbing your purse.

"It's not an act," Liam said, following you out the door towards the elevator. The floor was quiet, most employees likely out to eat already. "I mean, yeah, maybe sometimes I try to flatter you into helping us out, but I'm serious. It's like you're chamomile tea on legs."

You arched an eyebrow at him when the elevator doors slid open. "Chamomile tea?"

"Is a tranquilizer dart better? Or lion tamer?"

You pursed your lips, thinking it over when you pressed the button to his floor. "Yeah. I like lion tamer."

Liam laughed and pulled out his phone to check his texts.

"This is perfect timing. He's about to wrap up a meeting and he doesn't have another one until two." Liam slid his phone back into his pocket and gave you a pleading look. "Please feel free to take your time."

"Oh, come on! He can't be that bad," you said with a hand on your hip. The doors opened up and let you out onto the executive floor, on the opposite side of the building from Joel's office, which is why it was so impressive you could hear him shouting from where you stood.

"Is the door open?" you asked quietly.

"Nope," Liam replied, giving you a look that said I told you so.

You swallowed nervously then lifted your chin with confidence as you made your way past the conference room towards his office. When Chrissy spotted you, she practically jumped out of her chair.

"Oh, my god, thank you," she whispered, her curly brown hair bouncing across her forehead with every step she took. She clasped her hands together and held them tightly against her chest.

"Don't thank me yet, I haven't done anything," you replied, but gave her a reassuring smile anyway. "Why don't you guys go to lunch? I'll take it from here."

The speed in which they tore out of the office was Olympic level.

You perched on the edge of Chrissy's desk as you waited for Joel's meeting to be over. Through the door, you could hear some voices through his phone, as well, one of which you recognized as the project manager for the hotel in Fiji. You looked down at your hands, ignoring the raised voices in the next room, and stared down at the huge diamond ring on your right hand. Splaying your fingers wide, you admired the way the light caught the little facets of the diamond, smiling a little when you saw rainbow flecks dot the walls of the mostly empty floor.

Ages ago, Joel had asked you to keep the ring he got you to use in Fiji. You nearly had a heart attack until he realized how it looked and he nervously clarified he wasn't asking you to marry him, just that he felt the ring was always yours and he couldn't bring himself to return it, so he bought it.

You smiled to yourself when you thought back on that day. It was just after he finally said I love you for the first time. It was a little ridiculous to think he would be asking you to marry him when it took him months to say those three words, but your heart still skipped a beat in that half a second of confusion.

After your pulse slowed, you accepted it with an awkward laugh, putting it on your right hand where it had remained ever since. You knew there was no use arguing with him about gifts and money anymore. When he bought you something, he was relentless until you took it.

Actually, you've grown to kind of like it.

Or, maybe you just liked the idea of Joel thinking about you when you weren't around.

Through the door, you heard the phone call cut with a terse farewell and then, the tell-tale rustle of men's dress pants with the clearing of throats. One man was still talking, his voice forcibly calm as he assured Joel that he would get back to him by the end of the day with the correct numbers on some payroll report, and then the door swung open. Men poured out, some hurrying past you without even realizing you were there, their faces red and their jaws clenched. The ones that did notice you gave a quick nod of acknowledgement before hurrying away, as if they were afraid Joel would remember he had one or two more biting comments and call them back in.

When the last of the men filed out, you heard Joel bark, "Shut the door," and then the creak of his leather chair under his weight. A man you vaguely recognized pulled the door shut behind him before spotting you. He was frazzled and exhausted when he exhaled and loosened his tie.

"Good luck," he said, and you laughed softly. You watched as the last of the men filed towards the elevators, their padfolios and phones overflowing in their hands as they shuffled onto the car and disappeared behind the closed doors.

The floor was quiet now. Joel's office was the only one with a light on.

Biting back a smirk, you pushed off Chrissy's desk and straightened your dress before rapping your knuckles on his door.

"What the fuck now?" came Joel's sharp voice from the other side. You pushed the door open and crossed your arms, waiting until he dragged his gaze up from his desk. When he realized it was you, his expression instantly softened and he stood.

"Sorry," he grumbled.

"It's okay," you replied, stepping inside the room, shutting the door behind you. Joel rounded the desk and raked his fingers through his hair. You bit your lower lip, gaze quickly drifting down his broad frame. He was wearing a white dress shirt with his dark grey suit, the coat abandoned over the back of his chair. It was the first time you had seen him since you left him asleep in bed early that morning.

"What's goin' on, baby?" he asked as he crossed the room to pour himself a drink. You made a face at the amber liquid and he swiveled around, raising the glass of whiskey in your direction.

"Want one?"

"No, Joel. It's barely noon. I came to see if you wanted to get lunch, but I'm guessing today's not the best day," you said, closing the distance between you to smooth down the front of his shirt with your palms. He lifted the glass to his lips and tossed the drink back in one go before setting it down on the bar and wrapping his big hands around yours, pressing them firmly to his chest.

"'M sorry, not havin' a great day."

"I can tell."

"You hear all that?" he murmured, bringing one of your hands up to his mouth. His lips brushed over your knuckles as he gazed at you through tired, heavy eyes and you smiled. Moments ago, those eyes were firey and filled with rage.

But not when he looked at you.

"Some of it," you admitted. "What's wrong?"

Joel exhaled through his nose and dropped his hands to your hips, giving them a little squeeze and pulling you closer. "You weren't there when I woke up this mornin'."

You rolled your eyes playfully at him and he gently pinched your side.

"I told you I had to get up early so I could get ready for work-"

"'N I told you to bring your stuff over last night," he countered.

"Joel, I hadn't been home in days. I needed to make sure the place was still standing and water my plants."

Then, he said something that sent shockwaves through your whole body.

"Just move in with me, then it ain't a problem anymore."

Your eyebrows shot up in surprise and you forgot to breathe for a moment.

"What?" you asked breathlessly. But Joel just shrugged like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Move in with me," he repeated. "Plants, too."

"Y-you... you want me to move in with you? Like, permanently?" you repeated in disbelief. Joel smirked down at you and nodded.

"Yeah, like, permanently. The hell you think I mean? Get rid of that place, you know I don't like that neighborhood," he said, then lifted his chin when he heard his email program chime somewhere behind you.

"Joel... are you sure? That's a big step for you," you replied, feeling completely knocked sideways by his blunt request. Sure, he had the room. His house was the closest you'd ever come to being inside a mansion. Hell, to you it was a mansion. Six bedrooms and four bathrooms with an in-ground pool, tennis court, steam room and gym was only ever something you'd seen on television. But living in Los Angeles told you there were plenty of houses three times the size of his.

"Yeah, I'm sure. I want you with me all the time," he said, kissing your cheek before leaving you by the bar so he could check his email.

"My stuff, too? I can't imagine my shitty television in your house," you joked. Joel just nodded, his eyes pinned to his computer screen.

"Your stuff, too. I want all a'you. Even your coffee pot."

Joel collapsed angrily into his high back chair to answer the email while you sneakily slid back to the door, quietly flicking the lock before slowly walking towards his desk. You knew most people were at lunch, but you still didn't want to risk it for what you had in mind.

"Okay," you said softly, hip pressing against the hard wood, fingers nervously digging into the complex design carved into the edge.

"Okay, what?" he murmured, focus still fixed on the email. You watched his scowl deepen the more he read and you knew he was slipping back into that mood you found him in earlier.

"Okay... I'll move in with you."

His eyes snapped up to yours and for a moment, the scowl smoothed out into a pleased grin.

"Good. Start packin' tonight. Don't wanna be wakin' up anymore without you," he said, then his eyes dropped back down to his email. "Messes up my whole day when I do."

You giggled and rounded the desk, intentionally slotting yourself between his eyes and the computer.

"Is that why you're up here screaming at everyone? 'Cause you woke up without your sugar baby?"

Joel leaned back in his chair and narrowed his eyes at you.

"Quit it. You ain't a sugar baby."

"Didn't answer my question."

Joel laced his fingers together and dropped them in his lap with a sigh. "Sure didn't help."

You gave him a fake pout and leaned forward, hands bracing yourself on each arm of his chair. "I'm so sorry," you whispered, mouth hovering over his as you spoke. You could see his muscles tighten under his shirt when he heard the seductive tone in your voice. "Want me to suck your dick and make it all better?"

The corner of his mouth tugged into a devilish half-smirk, email long forgotten.

"Feels like it's the least you could do," he replied, his voice deep and gravelly. It sent a shiver down your spine and you grinned.

"The least I could do? What else do you want?" you asked before allowing your lips to brush delicately over his. You could taste the whiskey there and you licked your lips.

"Wanna bend you over this desk and fuck you. Hard."

A soft moan slipped past your lips right before his mouth crashed into yours. His tongue opened your mouth, licking feverishly past your teeth, giving you a stronger taste of the whiskey and mint from the gum he was likely chewing in anger during the meeting.

"I think that can be arranged," you gasped when you pulled away from his kiss. His dark eyes lit up when you sunk to your knees, his legs spreading wider when you began to unbuckle his belt. Two fingers rubbed against his lips, hiding his smile while he watched you pop the button on his slacks and slowly work the zipper down.

Your heart was beating wildly in your chest when you dipped your fingers past his waistband and felt the stiffness of his cock hiding just underneath a thin layer of fabric. Your eyes flickered up to meet his and with a sly smile, you said, "Hard already?"

Joel shrugged with a shit-eating grin.

"Been hard since you walked in the goddamn room, baby."

You bit back a smile, chest bursting with pride and, yeah, it turned you on to be the one who made this big, scary man all soft and weak. Rubbing your thighs together, you inched forward to gently pull his stiff cock over the top of his underwear.

You tutted under your breath and frowned, both of you watching your hand slowly slide up and down his shaft.

"Poor thing," you murmured, smiling when you heard his breath stutter after your thumb swiped over the bead of arousal pooling at the tip. "Look at you. All worked up and angry the whole morning when all you needed to do was call me. I would've come up to help you."

Joel gasped, fingernails digging into the padded leather armrests when he felt your fingers tighten around him.

"Then fuckin'... goddamnit - fuckin' help me now. C'mon, quit teasin' me and suck it," he commanded through clenched teeth.

You raised an eyebrow at him and your hand paused.

"Say please."

"Please," he whined without hesitation. The sound made you weak, eyelids fluttering for a second before you shook it off and met his gaze again.

"Good boy."

He smirked down at you, some snappy response on the tip of his tongue but it disappeared when your wet lips wrapped around him, tongue darting forward to flick teasingly at his slit, all while maintaining eye contact.

"Oh, fuck," he groaned, allowing his eyes to close and his head to tip back when you took him deeper into your mouth. Before he reached the back of your throat, you swirled your tongue around his girth, moaning when you tasted a new drop of precum.

"Yeah, baby, just like that," he murmured when his hand found a new home on the back of your head. Carefully, he urged you down, hissing when you hollowed your cheeks and took him as deep as you could handle. Joel forced his eyes to open so he could admire the pretty little mess he made of you. Your lips were swollen and wet, stretched wide over his considerable length while you focused on keeping your breath steady and your gag reflex in check.

He could have came from the sight alone.

You pulled back with a gasp, saliva pooling around the corners of your mouth as you dragged in deep lungfuls of air. Your hand picked up where your mouth left off, twisting your wrist and spreading the wetness up and down his shaft as you caught your breath for a second.

"You taste so good, Joel," you whispered, locking eyes with him again. "Might just have you come down my throat, instead."

Before he could answer, your lips were wrapped around him again, sucking and moaning around his cock like it was the sweetest thing in the world.

"No," he rasped, fingers tightening their hold in your hair. "Wanna - fuck you," he added with a deep groan. Even though he knew he shouldn't, he let you keep going, his hips involuntarily bucking up towards your mouth as he spoke.

Right when you began to get carried away, your head bobbing faster and your wrist flicking quicker, he yanked you off with a shared gasp.

"Sorry," he apologized, squeezing his eyes shut for a moment before reopening them. "Too close."

You stood up, thumb swiping your lower lip with a cocky grin. Then, Joel watched as you shimmied out of your panties, dropping them in his lap before hiking up the skirt of your dress to your mid-thigh.

"Whenever you're ready, sir."

He chuckled darkly and stood, thighs trembling for just a quick moment before he swiveled a finger in the air.

"Turn 'round."

You did as you were told, palms pressed flat against the top of his desk, tilting your hips back so your ass jutted out, just barely covered by your dress.

With one hand he pulled the material up, exposing you to the tinted windows behind him. His other hand came down with a sharp smack across your skin, the action so fast and unexpected that it took you a few seconds to register it.

"Again," you whispered over your shoulder, this time bracing for the hot sting of pain across your ass. When he gave it to you, you moaned, arousal pulling tight between your legs, then you dropped your head limply between your shoulders as the pain blossomed into pleasure.

"That's my girl," he growled in your ear. His knee pushed your legs open and you held your breath when he leaned back to slide his cock through your folds before lining himself up at your opening.

"Breathe, baby," he whispered, and you let out a shaky breath right as he pushed inside.

"Shit," you panted, arching your back and digging your fingers into the dark wood of his desk while he continued to ease inside of you, muscles only relaxing when he finally buried himself to the hilt and his lips returned to the shell of your ear.

It wasn't the first time he fucked you in his office. In fact, both of you were very eager to take advantage of the new situation only a week into the start of your job. But it didn't matter how many times you'd done it because it was still always a thrill. There was something incredibly hot about this powerful man fucking you on his desk. Or his couch. Or his chair.

Or one time on the conference room table long after close of business.

Joel set a quick pace right away, knowing full well your time was limited before people began to return from lunch and inevitably came looking for him. One hand remained firmly on your hip while the other drifted up to squeeze your breast through your dress, fingers giving your nipple a little pinch just so he could hear you whimper for him.

"Always ready for me, ain't you?" he groaned, teeth grazing over your earlobe. His breath was shallow, soft pants against your skin matching the rhythm of his hips. "Christ, baby. So fuckin' wet. You love takin' my cock like this, huh? Or was it me askin' you to move in that did it?"

"Both," you moaned, tossing your head back to rest on his shoulder, eyes gliding shut and mouth falling open as you focused on the intense pace he set. The tip of his cock brushed steadily against that spot inside you that had your knees going weak and you could feel that warmth in your stomach turning into fire the harder he fucked you.

Joel's eyes lifted to glance at his door when he heard the faint sound of voices filing off the elevator. Lunch hour was wrapping up, and so was your time. He clenched his jaw and pounded into you faster, the telltale sound of skin slapping against skin the only noise echoing in the room.

"I... locked it," you gasped, falling forward onto your elbows, hips sparking with pain against the hard wood of his desk. He grinned and straightened his spine, watching the way your ass rippled against him every time he slammed into you.

"Good. 'Cause no one gets to see you like this 'cept for me."

You nodded dumbly, unable to form words as your orgasm began to swell, threatening to destroy you. Your pussy started to pulse around him, stars littering your vision and you slapped your palm over your mouth to muffle the sound when you came.

"Oh, fuck yeah," he groaned, hips losing rhythm. Breath growing sharp. Fingers digging deep and eyes rolling to the back of his head. You whimpered when he pounded into you one last time, stilling as he pumped you full of his release, broken moans tumbling from his lips until he was spent.

Almost immediately, his arms wrapped around you, pulling you up and pressing you protectively against his chest.

"You okay?"

"Mhm," you hummed, admittedly still in a bit of a daze but you were starting to snap out of it. His ragged breath in your ear was all you could hear, his pounding heart against your back all you could feel, and it was enough.

Without warning, he slipped out of you, but kept his arms circled around your front, pressing sweet kisses behind your ear and down your neck. You melted into him, knowing how much he enjoyed holding you after, at least until he caught his breath and came back down to earth.

"I love you."

Those three words still managed to send a tingle down your spine and brought a lazy smile to your face.

"I love you, too," you whispered, twisting your neck so your mouth could seek out his. His beard was untamed and prickly against your lips, tickling you and making you giggle.

"C'mon, get yourself decent," he teased with a playful grin and a smack against your thigh. He stepped backwards to fix his clothes while you swiveled back and forth, searching the ground for your panties.

"Lookin' for these?" he asked, holding them up between two fingers when you turned around. You reached out to grab them but he pulled them back, shoving them in his pocket before tucking in his shirt.

"You're gonna make me walk around the rest of the day without underwear? With your come dripping out of me?" you asked. You already resigned yourself to your fate and pulled down the skirt of your dress.

Joel pinched your chin and pressed a quick kiss against your lips.

"Yep. Just the way I like you."

"Dirty man."

"Just the way you like me," he laughed, dodging your hand when you reached out to smack him against the arm.

You opened your mouth to say something back when his desk phone chimed and the red light in the corner lit up. Joel finished buckling his belt and glanced up at you to make sure you had fixed yourself before pressing the intercom button.

"Yeah?"

Chrissy's nervous voice filtered through the speaker.

"Mr. Miller, just confirming your dinner reservation for tonight. Still expecting three people?"

"Yep," he replied, then thought about it for a quick second before pressing the button again. "Thanks, Chrissy. Why don't you take off early, after my two o'clock?"

You grinned, practically sensing her shock through the wall as you sat down in the chair opposite his desk.

"Uh... okay. T-thank you so much!"

"No problem," he said, then the red light turned off and he slumped down tiredly into his leather desk chair.

"Where are we going tonight?" you asked, crossing one leg over the other while you watched him shake his computer mouse back to life.

"Sarah picked this time. Some Mexican spot she wanted to try," he murmured, already fixating on an email in front of him. After some encouragement on your end, Joel had reached out to Sarah around the same time he called Tommy for the first time in years. While things had been rocky and awkward at first, it got easier over time. Eventually, they committed to dinners every other week, and after maybe the fourth one, Sarah had asked to meet you.

You were nervous leading up to it, but the moment you met you knew you'd get along. She was smart, beautiful, funny and had the same smile as her dad. She told you both a little bit about high school but preferred to talk about her soccer team or the play she was trying out for.

She didn't mention her mom much, and you didn't want to pry. From what Joel had mentioned, her mother ended up having some substance abuse issues in the past, which caused a strain on her relationship with Sarah. He felt horrible when he found out, told you that he felt like he should have been involved more to protect her, but you reminded him that he was there for her now and that you were proud of him for stepping up.

Despite it all, Sarah was a great kid. Every time you saw her, she opened up a bit more, smiled wider and laughed louder. After your dinners together, you could see the change in Joel: he was happier, too.

"Sounds good. I like Mexican," you said, fidgeting with your ring while Joel quietly replied to an email. The scowl was gone, his shoulders were looser and there were no more angry taps on the keyboard.

You opened your mouth to announce you should get back to work when he suddenly spoke.

"Why're you wearin' the ring on your right hand?"

Your eyes flickered up to his face but he looked like he was still absorbed in an email.

"This ring?" you asked, holding up your hand. It was the only ring you wore but you didn't know what else to say. You'd been wearing it on your right hand for months and he never said a word.

"Yeah. You wore it on your other hand in Fiji," he said, tearing his eyes away from the computer to look at you.

You stood up from your seat and gave him a curious look. "We were pretending to be engaged then, if you recall. We're not engaged now."

Joel smirked, the corners of his mouth dipping down when he shrugged, then stood to walk you to the door.

"Huh. Suppose you're right. Someone oughta do somethin' 'bout that."

You threw your head back and laughed before coming to a stop at his door and turning around.

"You just asked me to move in with you. What happened to the commitment-phobe I fell in love with?"

He grinned and wrapped his arms around you, pulling you close so he could press a gentle kiss against your lips.

"You're right. I'll wait a week," he joked, then gave your ass a little tap before opening his door for you. "Thanks for lunch," he added as you walked past Chrissy, who was mid-whisper to Liam, no doubt telling him about Joel's sudden burst of generosity. You gave them both a little wave and tossed a wink over your shoulder at Joel leaning against his doorway, hands shoved in his pants pockets with a sly smirk on his face after his fingertips grazed the wet fabric shoved in there.

"See you tonight."

"Can't wait," he said, watching you disappear around the corner towards the elevator bank.

"So, you ate?" Liam confirmed, holding a leather bound journal and pen in his hand as he approached Joel. Even though the answer was no, he still nodded in response. "Good, because I have a couple things," he continued after clearing his throat. "Ellie's painting arrived yesterday, I'm having it gift wrapped right now. I got a call back from the guy who's renting you the yacht. He's good for Saturday. The captain and crew know the deal, too. Drop the anchor, make the food, pour the champagne, and disappear after dinner's cleared up. They have a little boat they can take back to land so the yacht's all yours til morning."

A slow smile stretched across his face and he looked down the hall again, towards the elevator bank.

"Reschedule it for next week. I made a promise."

Please follow @punkshort-notifs and turn on notifications for fic updates ❤️

[bitternanami]

something i think is really interesting about dungeon meshi is the cast's respective views on food as the story progresses. the way many adventurers get through the dungeon is to eat when they Must, but mostly rely on healing magic to keep going when they're tired or beaten down. death is something you can buy your way out of, here.

having these lower stakes when it comes to running yourself too hard has made a lot of people in this setting kind of devalue food and what it does for you.

im not all the way through the manga yet, but so far i really like how it goes about debunking that mindset.

long post under the cut, cw explicit discussion of disordered eating. textual depiction of unhealthy methods of dealing with it. please be cautious!

it seems like to most folks, food is either a decadent luxury, like when the governor offers mr tance a feast as a show of power and wealth, (although he is the only one who actually eats in that scene as he talks about his ambitions);

[id: the governor and mr. tance talk politics and hierarchies, while the governor eats from a bowl. mr. tance's meal is not visible behind a speech bubble.

"so you believe the sorceror is an elf?" he asks.

"i can't say with absolute certainty," mr. tance replies, "but the spells are not ones dwarves and humans typically use." /end id]

like the painted-royal feasts laios tries to partake in that never actually nourish him...

[id: laios, fresh out of the living painting feast, surprisedly holding his grumbling stomach /end id]

or, to the working class, it's pretty much exclusively fuel. i'm thinking about the scene where kabru's party, ostensibly intended to be our view into how adventuring Typically goes for most people, is shown preparing to go to the dungeon by like. walking up to someone and ordering 'a weeks' worth of rations.' purely functional.

[id: kabru enters a store, and the merchant says "welcome!"

kabru says "i need a week's worth of rations for six, and two days' worth of water."

"sure thing." the merchant then reaches behind him and grabs a large cube-shaped package, wrapped in nondescript cloth and tied in place. it thumps onto the counter in front of them both. /end id]

when kabru hands mickbell his food for the trip, he complains about how heavy it is on his back. it's a necessary liability.

we also see chilchuck, in an early chapter where there isn't much food to go around, grumbling about how he used to be better at not noticing when he was hungry. he's frustrated that he's more attuned to his bodily needs, now that he's starting to fill them with regularity.

[id: chilchuck, the only one awake, sits in his bedroll and glares at the timekeeping-candle burning down in front of him while he listens to his stomach growl. moving to find his canteen and fill himself with water instead, he thinks to himself, "my stomach has gotten weaker. i used to be able to go two days without food." /end id]

(like im not even gonna lie this is a big mood. the healing process is really really annoying)

even laios, early on, working out the logistics of going back for falin, considers his expenses and ultimately the thing he decides to save money on is their food supply. like, even the guy most invested in eating as an experience kind of just assumes he will Figure It Out. its what hes eating, not how hes eating it that matters to him at that point.

[id: marcille looks down at the ingredients they've gathered, the walking mushroom and the scorpion in an unappetizing heap on the ground, and asks laios "so how exactly do we eat them?"

he responds "let's just cook them, like normal." /end id]

but its here that senshi introduces the idea of food as art and as healing. its exciting and its fascinating for laios, getting to taste the creatures hes been reading about and fighting, but i dont think it would ever really help him feel full if not for this.

[id: three panels of laios tasting the scorpion hotpot, looking stunned, and then excitedly telling senshi "delicious!"

senshi matches his energy, asking "isn't it? isn't it?" /end id]

pictured: guy who had resigned himself to kind of just doing his best rediscovers the joy in something tasting really fucking good

what they did last time isnt going to work. falin is gone, and constantly anesthetizing their pain and healing through their weakness is no longer a realistic option for the party. in order to make it through they must all relearn how to eat well, one by one and as a group over and over again, because its either that or nothing.

one of my favorite depictions of this idea thus far is when marcille is seriously low on health and mana, and both of these problems are mitigated by taking care of herself, and trying to get iron and protein

[id: marcille, looking sickly, wakes to laios saying, "marcille, marcille, can you sit up? we've got something nice for you."

she watches senshi grill pieces of kelpie liver on a low fire, while laios ties a bib around her neck. /end id]

and drinking a bunch of dead water spirits. she gets the idea, she's supposed to get in nutrients and it'll help her feel better, but in aiming for the quick, inefficient fix, namely chugging that shit down like she heard it was good to Stay Hydrated and decided that would be the thing that fixes her,

[id: marcille throws back a cup of boiled undine-water, her face red. laios asks, "do you really need to drink it that fast?"

she gasps out "...the magical energy stored in nature spirits is actually quite hard to absorb. even if you drink a lot, the majority of it is excreted without being absorbed," and takes another drink. "that's why i need to drink as much as i can."

laios says weakly "you'll get water poisoning," but marcille only stops when senshi puts a hand on her shoulder and says,

"it's easier to absorb nutrients if ye digest them with food. that's a fundamental rule of nutrition."

marcille says, "senshi..." contemplative

and he holds out a bowl of tentuclus and a thumbs up. "let's get cooking!" /end id]

she doesn't immediately realize the answer is that she needs more than that. she's been working hard. she needs care, and she needs nourishment.

once she gets that, though, she makes her boiled water into a stew, and she works to make that stew as good as she can, and everyone can have some.

because in dungeon meshi, to feed yourself or allow yourself to be fed is treated as performing a kindness for yourself. food is what propels you, but there is also an art and a joy inherent to the process of making it; in the way you feel when you've had enough to eat.

[id: senshi watches as chilchuck and marcille eat and excitedly hash out plans.

"i've got a good feeling about this! maybe it'll work out!" chilchuck says

marcille responds, "well it's easier to feel optimistic on a full stomach!"

senshi smiles, proud. /end id]

^^^ i want to put this image on my wall

when you're working through disordered eating habits, you really do have to keep learning this shit. (in my experience, learning about cooking is one of the best ways to do so.)

i'll have to see if my thesis holds up as i continue, but i think one of the reasons the portrayal here resonates with me so hard is that ryoko kui puts most of her characters at eye level with me on this. they're all working at it, too. the text and i are both commiserating, and encouraging each other, 'have some more, you'll feel better.'

[raekensluver]

dangerous attractions (3)

PART ONE, PART TWO, PART THREE

description: your mysterious new neighbor, spencer reid, turns out to be an agent for the fbi, and you get tangled up in his dangerous life.

pairing: spencer reid x fem!reader

contains: 18+, Minors DNI, mutual pining, fingering, unprotected sex, p in v, r is implied as being shorter than spencer.

song rec: reflections by the nbhd- "i never knew somebody like you, somebody."

w.c: 3.1k

an: thank you so much for the love on my recent publishings!!

over the next few weeks, spencer became a constant presence in your life. he would come over every time he got off work, his eyes searching yours for any signs of fear or trauma. his visits grew longer, his smiles more genuine, and the quiet chess games evolved into deep, late-night conversations about everything and nothing at all.

you found yourself drawn to his world—the complex puzzles of human behavior that he solved every day, the quiet strength that allowed him to face such horrors and still come home to a quiet apartment. he spoke rarely of his cases, but the few details he shared painted a picture of a man who cared deeply for the people he was sworn to protect.

his visits grew more frequent, and with each one, the tension between you grew stronger. it was as if the danger had drawn you closer together, the shared experience of fear and adrenaline forging a bond that neither of you could ignore. you began to crave the sound of his footsteps in the hallway, the gentle knock on your door that signaled his arrival.

spencer noticed the change in you, the way you leaned into him when he spoke, the way your eyes searched his for reassurance. he offered comfort without words, his presence a silent promise that you weren't alone. he would sit with you, not saying much, just being there—a steady anchor in the storm of your thoughts.

one evening, as you sat side by side on your couch, the air grew thick with something unspoken. the tension was palpable, a live wire connecting you both. spencer reached for your hand, his touch sending a jolt through your body. your eyes met, and for a moment, you could see the weight of his job, the toll it took on him, the loneliness he carried like an invisible shield.

you leaned into him, your head resting on his shoulder, feeling the steady beat of his heart beneath your cheek. "thank you," you murmured, the words feeling inadequate for the comfort he brought.

spencer squeezed your hand gently. "for what?" he asked, his voice a soft rumble in the quiet room.

you tilted your head to look at him, his eyes searching yours. "for being here," you said, your voice barely a whisper. "for… everything."

his gaze softened, and for a moment, the weight of his job, the intensity of his world, seemed to fade away. "you don't have to thank me," he said, his voice gentle. "i just want to make sure you're okay."

you felt a warmth spread through you, his simple words resonating deep within. "i know," you whispered. "but i do. i don't know what i would have done without you."

spencer's eyes searched yours, and you could see the conflict within him—his desire to keep you safe at arm's length and the growing bond that was drawing him closer. "you're strong," he murmured. "you're much stronger than you think."

his words were like a warm embrace, and you found yourself leaning into him, craving the connection that had been building between you. "i'm scared," you admitted, the vulnerability in your voice surprising you.

spencer's gaze never wavered. "i know," he said softly. "but you're not alone."

his hand cupped your cheek, his thumb gently wiping away the tears that had begun to fall. his touch was tender, a stark contrast to the world he lived in. you leaned into his palm, feeling the warmth of his skin, the solidity of his presence. without thinking, you leaned forward, your lips brushing against his.

for a moment, time stood still. then, with a groan, spencer deepened the kiss, his arms wrapping around you. you melted into him, the fear and confusion of the past weeks coalescing into something warm and comforting. his kiss was urgent, hungry, as if he had been holding back for so long, afraid to let himself feel.

you responded in kind, your hands sliding up his chest, tangling in his hair. the world outside the apartment faded away, leaving only the two of you, entwined in a dance of passion and relief. his touch was gentle but firm, his body heat seeping into yours, chasing away the chill that had taken up residence in your bones.

the kiss grew more intense, your breaths mingling as you explored each other's mouths with a desperation that was both thrilling and terrifying. the line between friend and protector had been crossed, and you weren't sure if there was any going back. but in that moment, you didn't care. all that mattered was the feel of his arms around you, the warmth of his embrace.

spencer's hands roamed your body, his touch sending waves of heat through you. you felt his need, his desire, and it matched your own. you had never been so alive, so present in the moment. the chaos of the recent past faded away, replaced by the rhythm of your hearts beating in sync.

his hands found the hem of your shirt, and with trembling fingers, he began to lift it. you helped him, eager to feel his skin against yours. as the fabric was peeled away, you felt a sense of exposure, but also of liberation. there was no room for fear in the face of such raw passion.

his touch was gentle yet firm as he traced the lines of your body, his eyes drinking in every inch of you. you felt the warmth of his breath against your neck, his lips following the path of his fingers. a soft moan escaped your lips, and you knew that you were lost to this feeling, to him.

you straddled him on the couch, your legs wrapping around his waist. your bodies fit together perfectly, as if you had been made for this moment. his hands found your hips, guiding you closer, the heat between you building. the fabric of your clothes seemed to be the only thing separating you, a barrier that was quickly becoming unbearable.

his kisses grew more urgent, his teeth grazing your neck, sending shivers down your spine. your own hands explored his chest, feeling the hard planes of muscle beneath his shirt. you could feel his heart pounding in time with yours, a symphony of need and want.

his fingers deftly unhooked your bra, and with a sigh, you let it fall away. his eyes searched yours for permission, and with a nod, you gave it. he cupped your breasts, his thumbs teasing the sensitive peaks. a gasp escaped your lips, and you leaned into his touch, feeling more alive than you had in months.

spencer's mouth found yours again, his kisses deepening as his hands continued to explore. you could feel the tension in his body, the coiled energy of a man who held the weight of the world on his shoulders finally letting go. you mirrored his urgency, needing to feel him, to connect in the most primal way possible.

you reached for the buttons of his shirt, fumbling slightly with trembling hands. he took over, his movements swift and sure as he undid the last button and shrugged the shirt off, revealing the expanse of his chest. your eyes took in the sight of him, the muscles honed from years of training, the scars that told a silent story of battles won and lost.

spencer flipped you around so that your back was pressed to his chest, his arms wrapping around you protectively. you gasped as his skin met yours, the heat of his body searing into you, his chest a wall of warmth and strength at your back. his lips trailed down your neck, his teeth grazing the sensitive skin, sending delicious shivers down your spine.

his hands roamed over your body, his fingers deftly sliding under the waistband of your panties. with a gentle tug, he removed the last barrier between you, tossing the fabric aside. you could feel his breath, hot and ragged, against your ear as he whispered sweet nothings, praising your beauty, your strength. his words were a gentle caress, a balm to your frayed nerves.

his fingers found their way to your cunt, the softness of his touch making you gasp. you were wet, slick with desire, and he took note of it with a soft groan, his praise turning into a murmur of wonder. "you're so beautiful," he whispered, his fingertips tracing your folds with a feather-light touch. "so wet for me."

his words sent a shiver through you, and you arched your back, pushing your ass against his hardening cock. he took the hint, sliding a single digit inside you with a gentle pressure that had you moaning his name. "yes," you breathed.

spencer's hand moved with the rhythm of your hips, his finger curling inside you, hitting that spot that made your eyes roll back in your head. you could feel your walls tightening around him, desperate for release. "you're so wet," he murmured, his voice a dark promise in your ear. "you want me, don't you?"

you nodded, unable to form words as he added another finger, stretching you deliciously. "yes," you gasped, the sound barely audible. "more."

his strokes grew more deliberate, his thumb finding your clit and beginning to circle it with a firm pressure that had you panting. "you're so perfect," he whispered, his breath hot against your neck. "so responsive."

your hips began to rock in time with his hand, the tension inside you building. "spencer," you moaned, his name a plea for more. "yes," he murmured, his voice low and urgent. "let me make you feel good."

his fingers worked you with a skill that left you trembling, his touch both gentle and insistent. your body responded to his every command, your slickness dripping down your thighs. "you're so wet for me," he said, his voice thick with lust. "so fucking perfect."

his words were a catalyst, sending you hurtling towards climax. your eyes squeezed shut, your head thrown back, your mouth open in a silent scream as the orgasm crashed over you. your muscles tightened around his fingers, pulsing with the intensity of your release.

spencer held you through it, his arms tight around your waist, his mouth moving from your neck to your ear, whispering sweet nothings that only served to prolong the pleasure. when the tremors finally subsided, you collapsed against him, your breaths coming in gasps.

his hands remained gentle on your body, the urgency of the moment giving way to a tender care. he turned you in his arms, so you faced him, and kissed you softly, the passion of moments ago now a gentle warmth that wrapped around you like a blanket. "are you okay?" he asked, his voice hoarse with emotion.

you nodded, your eyes never leaving his. "yes," you whispered, feeling a blush creep up your cheeks. "more than okay."

spencer's smile grew, his eyes filled with warmth. "good," he murmured, his thumb brushing over your lower lip. "because i've wanted to do this for a long time."

his kiss was gentle, a stark contrast to the passionate maelstrom of moments before. it was as if he was memorizing the taste of you, savoring every second. your hands slid up his arms, feeling the muscles flex beneath your fingertips. you felt cherished, protected—like he was trying to erase the fear that had taken up residence in your soul.

spencer laid you back on the couch, his body hovering over yours. the cushions sank beneath your weight, the fabric warm and welcoming. his eyes searched yours, making sure you were ready, that you wanted this as much as he did. your nod was all the invitation he needed.

his hands moved to the button of his pants, his eyes never leaving yours. with a slow, deliberate movement, he unzipped them, the sound of his zipper echoing in the quiet room. he slid the fabric down his legs, revealing his erection, straining against the fabric of his boxers. your eyes widened, taking in the sight of him.

his cock was thick and hard, a testament to his desire for you. you felt a thrill of power, knowing that you had elicited such a response from this man who faced horrors on a daily basis. "spencer," you murmured, your voice thick with want.

his boxers followed the path of his pants, and he positioned himself between your legs. his cock nudged against your entrance, the heat of him making you ache for more. you reached down, wrapping your hand around him, feeling the pulse of his desire. "you're so beautiful," he murmured, his eyes never leaving yours.

you guided him inside you, his thickness stretching you deliciously. he pushed in slowly, giving you time to adjust, his eyes never leaving yours. when he was fully seated, he stilled, his chest heaving with the effort to hold back. "are you okay?" he asked, his voice a gentle rumble.

you nodded, your eyes never leaving his. "yes," you whispered, the single word a declaration of trust. spencer's gaze searched yours, his expression a mix of concern and desire. with a gentle nod, he began to move, his strokes long and slow, as if he was savoring every moment.

you gripped the couch cushions, your body responding to his rhythm, your hips rising to meet his. the friction was exquisite, the fullness of him inside you filling you in a way nothing else ever had. his eyes remained locked on yours, the intensity of his gaze making your heart race.

his strokes grew deeper, his pace increasing, as if he couldn't get enough of you. you felt your second orgasm building, a slow burn that started in your core and spread through your body like wildfire. "spencer," you moaned, his name a prayer on your lips.

his eyes searched yours, the concern in them morphing into something more primal, something that told you he needed this just as much as you did. he leaned down, capturing your mouth with his, his tongue delving deep as he thrust harder, faster. you could feel the tension in his body, the way his muscles tensed with each stroke, the way his breathing grew ragged.

his hand slid down your body, finding your clit once more, his thumb circling it with just the right amount of pressure. the sensation was overwhelming, the pleasure building to a crescendo that threatened to consume you. you wrapped your legs around his waist, pulling him closer, needing more.

spencer's movements grew more urgent, his hips driving into you with a force that had you seeing stars. your moans grew louder, filling the room, echoing off the walls. his own breathing grew ragged, his eyes never leaving yours as he claimed you, as if he was trying to memorize every line of your face in the throes of passion.

his thumb circled your clit, the pressure increasing, and you felt yourself teetering on the edge. "spencer," you gasped, your nails digging into his back. "I'm going to—"

"come for me," he murmured, his voice a command that sent you spiraling over the edge. your body arched off the couch, your orgasm ripping through you with a force that left you trembling. he watched you intently, his eyes dark with desire as he felt your cunt pulse around him.

spencer's own release followed quickly, his hips stuttering as he buried himself deep inside you, his warmth filling you completely. his eyes never left yours, the connection between you unbroken even as the world around you spun away. your bodies remained joined, the aftershocks of pleasure rippling through you both.

for a moment, you simply lay there, panting, your hearts racing in sync. the quiet of the room was a stark contrast to the tumult of emotions inside you. spencer's weight was a comfort, a reminder that you weren't alone in this. that despite the chaos that had entered your life, there was still warmth, still passion.

but reality had a way of intruding, and the sudden buzz of his phone on the coffee table was like a cold shower. he pulled away with a groan, his eyes filled with regret. "i have to go," he murmured, his voice thick with reluctance. "work."

you nodded, understanding all too well the demands of his job. "be safe," you whispered, the words carrying a weight that seemed to hang in the air.

spencer kissed you gently, his hand lingering on your cheek before he reluctantly pulled away. with a sigh, he began to gather his clothes, his movements efficient and methodical. you watched him dress, the sight of his muscles rippling beneath his shirt as he buttoned it up. his eyes met yours, the warmth of the moment before replaced by the cool detachment of a man preparing to face the world.

you sat up, feeling the ache of his absence as he stepped away. your own clothes lay scattered around the room, a testament to the passion that had consumed you both. with trembling hands, you began to dress, the fabric of your clothes feeling almost foreign against your sensitive skin. the cotton of your shirt was rough against your nipples, still sensitive from his touch.

spencer watched you, his eyes lingering on your body before he turned away, focusing on his own clothes. you could see the struggle in his movements—the desire to stay, to hold you close, warring with the duty that called him away. it was a dance you were both too familiar with, the push and pull of your newfound intimacy and the cold reality of his work.

once dressed, he turned back to you, his expression one of deep apology. "i'm sorry," he said, his voice low and filled with regret.

you took a deep breath, trying to still the racing of your heart. "it's okay," you assured him, knowing he had no control over the demands of his job. "you have to go."

spencer nodded, his eyes searching yours one last time before he bent down to kiss you—a kiss that was at once gentle and filled with the promise of more to come. it was a kiss that said 'i'll be back' without uttering the words. his hand lingered on your cheek, his thumb brushing away the last of your tears. "i'll check on you later," he murmured, his voice thick with emotion.

you watched him go, the sound of the door closing behind him like a final punctuation on the intensity of the past few minutes. your body still hummed with the aftermath of pleasure, but your mind was a whirlwind of confusion. what had just happened between you? was this a one-time thing, a product of the fear and tension of the past weeks? or was it the beginning of something more?

[peachhcs]

self care night with Samy and Will

semi straying off the ask but i can picture them doing the most mundane things together like samy painting her nails while will chills on her bed playing a video game and they're just talking and i think that would be super cute

au masterlist

samy and will didn't need to do a lot to please one another. the couple would always be perfectly fine sitting in one of their rooms together staying in than going out trying to do something, so that was exactly what they did. the younger hughes sat at her desk painting her nails while the sounds of will's video game on the tv above her head played in the background. she had a soft hum of music coming from her phone to replace the shooting sounds of will's game, and even though they weren't talking, they were still enjoying one another's presence.

growing up as best friends first made it really easy for the two to not need to always fill the silence with one of them talking. will did his thing and samy did hers.

"what do you think so far?" the brunette spun in her chair with her hand held up. will paused the game.

"they look nice. i like the pink," he smiled.

"do you think it looks tacky? i don't know i feel like this pink is like really bright," the girl admitted.

"no, it's very you. i like it," will reassured so samy took his word for it and started on her other hand. as long as one person liked it, that was all that mattered to her.

she could hear the sounds of his game resume.

"when do you spring exhibition games start?" he broke the silence a moment later, his focus now shifting between the game and her.

"in two weeks," the girl hummed.

"this is definitely a dumb question, but what is the difference between these and regular season?" will knew he probably should've known the answer considering samy's been doing this for years now.

"uhh..well in college it's not as many games and more of a way for the team to experiment with different plays and lineups. lots of skill development. back when i was in the spring season in high school, it was all the same just different teams," samy explained and will nodded.

"okay, makes sense. i guess i just didn't know because hockey goes year long and we don't really have a spring season," the blonde chuckled and the girl flashed him a quick smile.

"you know sometimes every so often i do wonder what life would've been like had i decided to stay in it," it wasn't a thought that plagued the girl's mind all the time and she was very happy with her team and soccer, but sometimes she did wonder.

the thought made will pause his game again and samy found his glance again when she heard the sounds die out for a moment. "do you ever regret it?"

"no, i wouldn't say regret. i love soccer. maybe i just miss being on the ice regularly and i wish i could've just seen a peak of that timeline," samy shrugged a bit.

"not saying i don't love watching you on the field, i do miss seeing you on the ice too. i think a lot of people do sometimes," will smiled softly.

"i know, i always see the comments whenever i get asked about hockey and my brothers about how much people would've loved to see me flourish."

will completely disregarded his game for the moment and scooted closer to the edge of the bed. samy chuckled at his action and looked at him quizzically.

"you okay?"

"i'm fine. just wanted to admire you a little bit closer," his words earned a small flush on her cheeks. so cheesy as always.

she ran her dried hand down the side of his face to briefly cup his chin. the slight stubble that will decided to let grow was a bit rough on her even drier palm (winters always made samy's skin dry.)

"how long are you gonna keep this up?" the soccer player teased some, feeling the hair again.

"do you like it?" will asked half serious, half not.

samy's small hesitation was all will needed to know and the two shared a laugh, "i don't hate it, but.." she let her voice fade off.

"noted. i'll probably shave tomorrow."

"maybe it will grow on me. who knows. how are you feeling about the rest of the season?" samy changed the subject, will leaning back again and shrugging.

"i feel fine. i think whatever the outcome is will make me happy. i learned a lot this season and i think it will only make me better for next season."

"good. i'm glad to hear that. i know some of it hasn't been exactly what you hoped for," being in the nhl was no joke and will knew that. he knew how big of a jump it would be from a year of collegiate to playing with the big guys.

sure, it was still a bit hard going from one of the best to a rookie trying to find his footing alongside the #1 overall draft pick. that wasn't easy, but will was figuring it out.

"it's all been a learning process. i'm really grateful for that team and just knowing i can have fun sometimes and to not take all of it too seriously. i like it. it's my dream," samy smiled hearing her boyfriend say that.

"i'm really glad you've found your footing somewhat. it's not easy and i think you've been doing really great," she pinched his knee.

"thank you. that means a lot coming from you," will smiled gently.

"okay, how do they look fully finished," samy held out both of her hands that were now bright pink on all fingernails. the hockey player leaned forward to examine them.

"they look great. i love it," he kissed her hand.

"ew, don't do that. my hands are so dry," samy pulled them back and subconsciously rubbed the dry scales of her skin.

"have you been putting lotion on them?" will asked.

"yes! they're just so dry all the time. i don't know what to do," she frowned, but will pulled her hands back to his much to samy's dismay.

"well i don't think it's gross or anything. it happens. it's winter," he kissed her hands again and now samy blushed. she reached up to cup his face again to bring him to her lips.

"i love you."

"i love you too," the boy didn't let her go after the peck. he kissed her a little deeper, the small buzz both of them always felt when they kissed erupting through their chests.

it was starting to get a bit heated, will wanting more and samy reciprocating his actions without a second thought.

"hey samy do you know if—" hannah's voice quickly snapped them apart while the duke sister stood in the doorway eyes wide and filled with regret that she walked in at the wrong time.

"shit..my bad. my bad. i will..ask you later. not important," she spun on her heel before the couple could even say anything.

samy's face burned in embarrassment.

"some things just never change do they?" will laughed and he bet that the interruptions would finally end whenever samy and will lived somewhere alone where roommates wouldn't walk in on them.

[muiitoloko]

If your requests are still open, could you please write an imagine in which reader comes home from the hairdresser all frustrated and in tears because he didn’t do what she asked and Alan Rickman tries to cheer her up and keeps giving her compliments

(I am sobbing because I wanted a bob and my hairdresser wouldn’t cut it the length I wanted and ends up making me feel bad for criticizing his work. I am not a very confrontational person)

Title: The Haircut Catastrophe: A Husband's Remedy

Summary: After an unintentional haircut disaster, you seek comfort in Alan’s humor and warmth. His witty charm helps you embrace the new look, turning heartbreak into laughter.

Pairing: Alan Rickman × Fem! Reader

Warnings: None

Author's Notes: Of course, I'd be happy to write this for you! I'm so sorry your experience at the hairdresser made you feel this way—it’s incredibly frustrating when you don’t get what you asked for, especially when it’s something as personal as your hair. But I promise, Alan Rickman (in the imagine) will make you feel like the most beautiful person in the world, no matter what.

Also read on Ao3

Alan looked up as you entered, the loud slam of the door a clear announcement of your mood. He put his script aside, his gaze instantly softening as you appeared in the doorway with a new haircut, one you'd been excited about all week. He smiled warmly, attempting to play the part of the doting husband, "Well, look at you, darling," he said in that familiar baritone, his words gentle but laced with the charming humor only he could pull off. "You look absolutely radiant. What did they call that one? ‘The Stunning Goddess’?”

At his compliment, your expression crumpled. A small, miserable sob escaped you, and you looked away, fighting back tears. "It’s awful,” you cried, your voice thick with frustration. “I asked them to cut it just a little, Alan—a little—and now it’s so short, it’s horrible. I look like...like…someone trying too hard to be sophisticated and failing miserably.”

Alan's face softened further, though his eyebrows raised just a tad. "Come now, love," he murmured, standing and crossing the room to wrap you in a hug, his arms warm and steady around you as you buried your face against his chest. "It’s hardly a disaster. If I had a pound for every bad haircut I've had—well, I'd have at least six pounds by now."

You let out a teary chuckle despite yourself, feeling the first hint of a smile tug at your lips as he continued. “And frankly, I think you look stunning. More stunning than I could’ve imagined. In fact, I might have to start keeping an eye on you when we’re out, what with all those admiring looks you’ll be getting.”

"But look at it!” you wailed, pulling back to gesture wildly at your hair. “It’s so much shorter! I look like…like a disheveled librarian who lost her way in a windstorm.”

Alan tilted his head, eyeing your hair as if studying a particularly intricate painting. "Darling, disheveled librarian is in right now, didn’t you know? I’m starting to think you’re secretly on the cutting edge of fashion."

You sniffed, half-laughing, half-crying. "Oh, sure, Alan. Go ahead and make jokes. I’m a walking disaster.”

He chuckled, gently wiping a stray tear from your cheek. "Alright, if you insist on seeing yourself as a disaster, then let me say this: I have a bit of a soft spot for you as a ‘walking disaster.’ It’s endearing, truly.” He leaned down, pressing a soft kiss to the top of your head. “And just think, if they hadn’t cut it so short, we’d have been deprived of this moment where I get to be your dashing, charming, long-suffering husband. My chance to shine, really.”

You couldn’t help but laugh, rolling your eyes but feeling your spirits lift a little as you looked up at him. “Only you could turn my tragic hair into an opportunity for your own theatrics.”

"Precisely,” he smirked, one brow quirked in that playful way that made your heart flutter, "and just think how much money we’re saving on shampoo now. Plus, with this new look, you’ll hardly recognize yourself in the mirror, and that’s rather exciting, isn’t it? A fresh start each day.”

You shook your head, feeling laughter bubble up despite yourself. “You’re ridiculous, Alan.”

"And you’re beautiful,” he said, his voice suddenly more serious, his gaze warm as he looked at you. “New haircut, old haircut, wild haircut—makes no difference to me.” He leaned down to brush a soft kiss against your forehead. “You’re my stunning goddess, through and through.”

You sighed, finally letting yourself relax in his arms, the frustration melting away under his warmth and humor. “Alright, Mr. Rickman,” you murmured, resting your head against his chest, “you win. I suppose I’ll survive this haircut after all.”

"Of course you will," he replied smoothly, his voice rumbling with amusement. "And in the meantime, I’ll be here to remind you just how unfairly enchanting you are—disheveled or otherwise.”

You sighed, resting your head against Alan's chest, letting the last traces of frustration ebb away in the warmth of his embrace. But as you relaxed, another thought weighed on your mind, stirring up a different kind of guilt.

“Alan,” you began, voice muffled against his shirt, “I…I have to confess something. I think I may have been a little too harsh on the hairdresser.”

He tilted his head down, his eyes softening as he studied your face. “Oh? What did you say, darling?”

You let out a groan, squeezing your eyes shut as you remembered. “I…well, it wasn’t exactly polite. I told her—very bluntly, might I add—that her own haircut looked like a ‘lopsided bird’s nest.’”

Alan’s lips twitched as he stifled a laugh, a mischievous glint sparking in his hazel eyes. “A ‘lopsided bird’s nest’? My, my, that’s quite the scathing critique. You’re becoming rather bold, aren’t you?”

You covered your face with your hands, shaking your head. “It was awful of me. I’ve never been a confrontational person, you know that. But I was so upset, so frustrated by the cut…I just snapped.”

Alan gently pulled your hands away, a sympathetic smile softening his face. “You’re human, love. It’s perfectly natural to feel upset, especially when something doesn’t turn out as you hoped. And besides, perhaps that hairdresser’s ‘lopsided bird’s nest’ look was her attempt at edgy avant-garde. You might have inadvertently provided her with some much-needed feedback.”

You laughed despite yourself, nudging him lightly. “Don’t encourage me, Alan. I feel terrible. I just… I’m not used to being rude. I try so hard to be kind, but this time—”

He shook his head, cutting you off with a gentle kiss to your forehead. “Darling, we all have moments. Even I have, on occasion, let my frustrations get the better of me.” He gave a theatrical sigh, his tone exaggerated. “I once told a fellow actor that his delivery was ‘a bit like a dying goose’… Needless to say, that didn’t go over well.”

You gasped, eyes widening as you laughed. “Alan! You didn’t!”

“Oh, but I did,” he admitted, with a look of mock horror, “and I still wince whenever I recall it. But I like to think it was a humbling moment, for both of us. Besides, if you can’t occasionally tell a hairdresser her hairstyle resembles a bird’s nest, what’s the point of being married to an actor who excels at saying utterly terrible things in the most charming way?”

You rolled your eyes, chuckling. “Only you could make my rudeness sound like an art form.”

“Exactly,” he replied, his tone sincere as he lifted your chin to meet his gaze. “And remember, no one’s perfect. A moment of frustration doesn’t make you any less kind. But if you’re truly feeling guilty, I could always accompany you back to the salon. We could tell her that the ‘lopsided bird’s nest’ look has really grown on us.”

“Oh, please, Alan,” you laughed, shaking your head. “That poor woman would never recover.”

He shrugged, his lips curving into that playful smirk you loved so much. “Then perhaps we’ll simply enjoy your new look in peace and let bygones be bygones. After all, it’s hardly every day I get to comfort my lovely wife as she mourns the tragic loss of a few inches of hair.”

You sighed, finally smiling without reservation as you looked up at him, the last of your guilt fading away. “Thank you, Alan. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

He smiled, leaning in to press a tender kiss to your forehead. “Fortunately, you’ll never have to find out. And in the meantime, I’ll be here to remind you that, whether you have long hair, short hair, or no hair at all, you’ll always be my stunning goddess.”

[kakao-lovey]

˚˖𓍢ִִ໋🌼🧺˚˖𓍢ִ🌿𝑴𝒚 𝑺𝒖𝒏𝒅𝒂𝒚 𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒆𝒕 𝒓𝒐𝒖𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒆

For quite a while now, I have been taking every Sunday completely off to reset and rest. I give my all and work my hardest during the week, and on this day I am not allowed to work at all. However, I find having a routine in place very important, as to not spend the day scrolling YouTube shorts and eating every food item in the house, which is usually what happens to me when I don't plan anything.

This post is sort of an experiment, because all of my previous ones were general and non-personal to me, and I don't know if you lovies actually care about what I do (Not meant in a mean way, but I'm not a super popular online personality, just a blogger).

Wake up at around seven: I normally wake up at this time, but I do set an alarm. This might just be a personal thing, but I feel getting up late when the sun is already out makes the day feel lazy.

Make a drink and chill outside: I'm very lucky to have a huge garden, even though it's in a desert climate and vegetation is sparse. Nature is nature, and I would even say the sunrise is more beautiful than in Europe. My go-to drink for relaxation is, surprise, matcha. Mine comes in sachets and is instant, and probably not very good for my gut health, but it's a once-a-week thing.

Family time: I love my family. It's just me, my sister and my mother, but we are besties. We chat, eat breakfast together, and sit on the couch and read our books.

Hair mask: this has been one of my weekly rituals forever. Depending on how my hair is doing, I'll do rosemary essential oil in almond oil for my scalp, or olive oil with a teaspoon of honey on my ends. Right now, I've got the honey mask in.

Walk/Pilates: I have tried every type of exercise under the sun, and some of the only ones I actually like are Pilates / bodyweight exercises with stretches, and going on walks. Recently, a friend of my mother's gifted us her old treadmill, and I really enjoy putting on a podcast and walking with incline for about half an hour.

Everything shower: I wash my hair, exfoliate, shave if necessary. i change between cold and lukewarm water based on how I feel (Tired = cold, anxious/upset = warm) and the weather. I don't shower with hot water any more because I feel it dehydrates my skin and damages my hair, but that might be different for everyone.

Skincare: I've got acne, rosacea, sensitive combination skin and I have tried absolutely everything. What I do is use a non-scented sls-free body lotion, a salicylic acid serum and niacinamide moisturiser for my face, and acne-friendly SPF 50. My skin still isn't perfect (Sobs) but sometimes you can only do so much and learn to accept what you cannot viably change.

Journaling / Blogging: I love to write. My birth name means 'Little poet' in Irish, and somehow it's stuck with me my whole life. It is free therapy, and builds a skill that you need practically anywhere.

Cleaning / Organizing / Tidying: Every Sunday, I change my pillowcases, put fresh bedding on, dust all surfaces and tidy one drawer. Another thing about me that you will come to see often is that I am a neat freak: no area can go unorganized. It's very therapeutic, too.

Doing my nails: I am a violin and piano player, which means my fingernails need to be very short and stay short and tidy, which makes for a lot of work. Sometimes I like to paint them dark red or lavender since I'm looking at my hands most of the day.

Meditation: I put on theta waves, brown noise or a subliminal, and focus on something I'm manifesting, repeating affirmations and visualising. Sometimes I fall asleep, but that's a good thing! If you fall asleep while affirming, your brain continues to repeat those positive words subconsciously while you sleep.

Reading: I read mostly non-fiction. Currently, I'm reading A Therapeutic Journey by Alain de Botton, and a few financial self-help books here and there (As it's been an intention of mine to educate myself on money for very long already).

Now, I will go and continue with my Sunday. I really hope you've gotten at least something useful out of this. I appreciate and welcome feedback, so feel free to tell me 'Kakao, I hated this. Please stop.' Love,

꩜ Kakao

[crowley-winter-boots]

Instead of humouring the messages in the screenshot, I would like to make a post regarding people who think this way. DO NOT LOOK FOR THIS INDIVIDUAL OR HARASS THEM. I know people like to jump the gun and do that online, so please don't bother with it. I am making this post to address, that you can in fact, still protest without attending mass protests and that not everyone is able to attend those mass protests.

(*Notice how I didn't "name call", I said "I won't reply anymore as I'm PRETTY SURE you're trolling." I was making an observation based on past experiences, and I'm still convinced they were only saying this to cause problems.)

You CAN still protest without going to larger protests. Its OKAY if you can't attend those large protests.

Here are some ways you can help out if you're unable to go to a protest!

Spread the word

One of the best ways to get people to attend is to tell other people about it! The more people that know, the more that can know when and where to show up.

Find a way that fits you to do something as an individual

There are a few ways you can go about this, but here is what I've personally been doing:

- I've been wearing a pride flag to school. Specifically, the trans flag. Pride flags banned from hanging up in schools? Nothing in the dress code that denies it. It will make people angry and confused, but it will also make people like you feel seen. I've had a lot of negative reactions from students and teachers alike, but there have been fellow queer kids who walk up to me and talk to me about my flag, often saying they wish they had one of their own. I'm planning on painting "WE THE PEOPLE" on it soon (I was going to this weekend, but there was too much going on and I didn't want to start a project I couldn't finish before school on Monday.)

- Make a battle vest (or any other punk fashion, such as crust pants!) I've been working on mine, and will post the patches and progress soon. I've been meaning to make one for a while for myself, but put it off until recently. I'll also make a post going more into detail on how you can make punk fashion yourself, and the ideology of punks.

**PLEASE NOTE. Both of these can be dangerous. Especially wearing a pride flag, as there is't anything that can make it safer. With the punk fashion, there are ways to make it safer, and I'll go more into detail on that on my other post: but essentially, you don't want any political statements or pride flags on the back. You won't see anyone coming, and they'll be less likely to attack you if they see it from the front.

Talk to local activist groups to set one up in your area

I'm not too sure about how this process works, as I haven't yet contacted any local activist groups to set up a protest. I'm not even sure if that's how you CAN set up a protest, but I asked around and this was the answer I had gotten. I'll make an update once I figure out how to set up a protest and if I personally was able to (and the details of the protest, ofc!)

Make signs or stickers to post in your community

There are a lot of ways you can make signs and/or stickers! I've never made a sign myself, so you'll have to do the research yourself for that, but you could make them as flyers with paper as well. But with stickers, they're relatively easy to make! I sold some for a while, and made about $250 off of it in just a few weeks by selling them on my school campus. You just need a pack of sticker paper (GLOSSY makes it shiny, MATTE makes it flat like printer paper,) a printer, and some kind of art app to import your images on. Fitting stickers is like a jigsaw puzzle- you'll need to rotate them at weird angles and fit any nook into any cranny. Find patterns, repeating patterns will make the process easier. The goal is to have as little white space as possible- but that being said, leave enough room between each sticker to give a solid border. A common mistake I made when I first started making stickers was overlapping the edges.

Join communities online

Discord servers are a good way to find online communities for people who want to oppose the American government! I am in a server that shares resources, information, protest days, and more. I can share the link in DMs, and you can also look online to find more.

Start a social media platform

That's what my blog is for! I'm posting online as a form of protest. There are a number of social media platforms (except Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, TikTok....) that you can advocate on. I do believe Tumblr and YouTube are the safest ones, and therefore have the biggest communities on there.

Buy banned books

THESE WON'T BE SOLD ANYMORE, SOON. They are information and knowledge the government is afraid of. The Diary of Anne Frank is on the list, which just goes to show how far they're going in this. They know they're fascists. They know America is going through the same beginning stages of a fascist dictator's overtake of a country. You can find a lot of these secondhand before they're gone. Find PDFs online of the books and download them in a place they can't be deleted. Physical copies are much better to have as they can't be taken away.

Pirate and get physical copies of music

Alphatron, FMovies, those are good sites for live action. WCO.tv is a good site for cartoons (and as far as I know, perfectly legal online archive!)

Learn how to burn CDs. Collect CDs. Collect vinyl records. And please, for the love of the Gods, DON'T USE SPOTIFY. I used Spotify because it was the easiest option for me, but they financially supported Trump's campaign. I switched to YouTube Music. Even the free version of Spotify supports the company- every song you listen to and every advertisement you sit through puts more coins into their bank account. I also have a vinyl collection I've been growing for 3-4 years. I'm thinking about learning how to burn CDs and get a Walkman (I currently don't have money, but I'm looking to get a job soon.) Like with the banned books, physical copies are the best. They'll have to pry it from your cold, dead hands.

That's all I have for now!! Feel free to add onto this with your own ways to protest and/or additional information from what I've already put.

[uhohbestie]

omahgod haaaiiii! happy three pronged fork day!

it is I, the live slug reaction microsoft paint doodles guy, here with the long promised part two, and lord mercy its been like a month,,, i've spent the past week and a half adding just-one-more-last-bit-this-time-its-the-last-one-for-sure-definitely and thinking of a new one at work the very next day,, BUT i am out of the dungeon now so here you have it!!

here's to me spending solid two months of my life pacing to and fro at work compiling mental essays and Making Up Scenarios tm with your characters and generally rotating them,,,, twas an experience for certain and i thank you for every point of psychic damage i was dealt <3

i tried every know-how i could think of to improve the resolution situation, and ended up just cutting it into pieces so im sorry if its a bit confusing to read (it's hectic but it works so i can't complain)

big picture for to know where things are

tip: you do gotta read the big picture left side (they are vaguely divided by the grey lines) top to bottom and then the right side for it to be chronological (more or less)

and the small bits for better resolution

i already wrote most of the things i had to say in the picture itself, so all i'll say is my soul yearns for pearl and lizzie (and Tilly) adventures extravaganza spinoff ): i have somehow so far convinced myself while reading that we would for sure get to see them within the fic that i had to doublecheck that i didn't miss a chapter on accident,,, oopsie

ps. this is where i would put my essay on how you've managed not only to show a character going through the 'ol stages of grief (scar when grian got bit) but also make the reader (or me at least, idk im gullible) go through them. ever since i figured out that Main Characters Don't Die at some point as a kid, i have never once sweated about "damn what if the writers actually do it this time?? what of blorbo dead foreal forever???" ,,, that was until i read TAMN. you took your SWEET TIME keeping us on scar pov for so long i sincerely started worrying that you actually did it you bastards. "no.. they wouldn't… they can't!" i thought to myself, but then the chapters went on and on, and Scar and Pops managed to almost get themselves killed yet again, adventures not showing any signs of stopping. and the pesky bristling brit, with whom i have a complicated relationship not unlike the one between a Sportsteam that sucks ass and their last remaining, bitter, but loyal shit-talking fan, is nowhere to be seen. i was head in hands sitting on the edge of my bed waxing poetics about how The Narrative forces the reader through the character's thought process and Long Live Indie Writing for being able to afford to break tropes and expectations n all that and then Grian's disHEVELED ASS ROLLS OUTA BUSHES AND I WAS LIKE i kNEW THOSE SONS A BITCHES WERE SCHEEMING, NEVER TRUST A WRITER!!! ! …i'm fairly impressionable audience if you couldn't tell

,anyhow this was one of the several bits rotating in my head for the past while, i hope you're proud of what you've accomplished -_- (/j/lh you really really should be <3) yeah anyway this is where i would put my essay on all that if i knew how to write one!

(if i open my mouth on the topic of the residents of the hermit commune we would be here all day, so all i'll say is i won't announce my descent into madness, but there will be signs)

on that note, be good be good to each other and don't forget to brush your teeth before bed

pps. i missed my duolingo writing this :( just another one of gods little jokes

ppps. i think you should poll the public someday on the subject of people's perception of Joel's fate in the end, would be curious to see how optimistic (or not) the folks are feeling

YES. YES!!!!! PART TWO OMG YOU'VE SPOILED US. YESSSSSSS.

Oh my goodness there's so much to wade into there. I was starting to pick out my favourite parts but realised i was highlighting every drawing, but here are my FAVOURITE favourites:

I love love love hearing ppl's opinions on the Redwood compound (AND POPS!!!! POPS AND SCAR BEST FRIENDS FOREVER [until... they're abruptly not anymore. um. ummmmmm....]) Poor exhausted Ren. Poor munched up Joel. Poor every-day-I'm-more-tired-than-the-last Etho. (Also, clasping your hands in mine, I promise you we will write about Pearl and Lizzie. I promise we will not leave you hanging.)

I'm genuinely truly deeply so happy you enjoyed TAMN, and absolutely adored reading (and seeing!) your journey as you read it. Especially the parts where we convincingly pulled off Grian Death(tm). Thank you for sharing with us :') aaaaa TAMN <3 <3 <3

Your poll idea is genius btw. We gotta do this. We GOTTA. - 🔒

[softxsuki]

Hello! If requests are still open I would like to submit one for the valentines day event? I would like a confession letter from baji (he's liked me for a LONG while but bc I have low self esteem/been in a bunch of failed friendships and relationship (some of wbuch he had a part if bc he didnt wanna see me with another man), I only saw him as a friend and didn't really allow myself to have feeling for him (like im a really optimistic/extroverted person but I'm also rlly scared of getting close to people as my most recent friendship breakup resorted in me getting fucking insomnia that took weeks to recover from). Tone: hurt/angst to comfort/fluff where after I try to go out on a date (and fail), he finds me crying onnthr curb, ion wanna see his fsce (bc we got into an argument) and then he tries tos ee what's wrong but I'm hiding my feelings, we get into an argument and I run off (it's super dramatic too). Other info: we've been tight since middle school (i saw him as a big bro/cool guy figure. Looked up to him) ans latches onto him even as I gained and lost friends gjnffjdnmd

Sorry if its too confusing or complex dndndn

Have a lovely day!

Confession Letter from Baji

This event is now CLOSED, but you can view the masterlist for the other letters here.

| Pairing: Baji x Gn!Reader| Genre: Comfort, Fluff | Post-Type: Letter | Word Count: 500 |

Warnings: mild language, jealousy, crying

Note: You painted a whole scene for me, so thank you. Hope you like !

You were at home sulking over the events of the day; a failed date once again due to your inability to fully trust a guy again, to Baji finding you crying on the curb, the argument that ensued after, and you running away from your own feelings, taking yourself back home.

You felt so pathetic, why couldn’t things work out for you? Why did you have to have these feelings for your friend despite how much you tried to push them away? There was no denying them anymore.

A knock at your door, forces you off your feet, opening the door to find no one there, but instead, a letter on the ground with your name on it.

Strange…

You wipe away your tears and bring the letter in with you, opening it;

Y/N,

Before you crumple this up and throw it away, please wait…I’m sorry okay? I was just…upset. I realize I’ve been holding my feelings back for so long that my instinct is to scold you for going out on dates…it’s probably jealousy honestly.

We’ve been close since middle school and I’ve seen all the crap you’ve been through with fake friends and failed relationships…which I’ve probably scared a few potential love interests of yours away myself…but I can’t help it. I like you. What man stands around and lets other guys talk to the person they like? Despite how lame I’ve been to keep it to myself instead of just telling you…

But after tonight, I can’t hold it back anymore. I like you, Y/N. I have for a while and I hate to see you hurting…I know I could treat you well. Our friendship is proof of that, but I want to be more than just your friend. I want to hold you when you’re hurting and kiss your tears away. I want to reassure you and build you up after all the times you’ve been knocked down by losers who don’t know how to treat their lovers…

I’m tired of running from my feelings, I just hope I haven’t pushed you away by telling you this. 

Come find me, please.

Love, 

Keisuke.

You can’t help but smile at the letter, the guy could hardly spell (let’s pretend like there were many spelling and grammar mistakes in the letter…the editor in me couldn’t actually do it BFHKEAF), let alone put words together on paper, but he tried for you, and it was beautiful. 

Maybe these feelings you had for him weren’t so bad after all. Maybe this could be your first good experience with a relationship. Baji always treated you well, despite the times he’d get moody after you’d mention dates you had gone on, but now you knew why–he liked you back.

You laugh to yourself, wiping the remainder of your dried tears. Time to find happiness with your best friend. The thought filled you with hope, making you excited for the idea of dating him. 

Maybe today wasn’t so bad after all.

Posted: 2/14/2025

[ri5bi]

If u say request stuff thennnn

Youre a fan of CAS right? Can i request big biiiig raph giving a ride to tiny raph so that he can experience getting a piggy back ride as well for once :>

Or maybe big leo and small leo having a sword fight or something, with big leo showing off his skills one handed even because thats honestly something i need so badly

Or if you rather like mikey, maybe big and small mikey hanging out and painting together! Or maybr cooking

And lastly, if ur more of a donnie fan, the donnies are doing mischief together, tomfoolery even, teaming up against their common enemy: beach balls

All these are just ideas though and if you feel like doing any of them go ahead and if not just ignore me pfffffff

Have an awesome day!!!!

I'M ALIVE I SWEAR

sorry for the delay, finals week had me down for the count and winter break was stock FULL of errands and adulting and grahh i hate being responsible

anyhoodle, i absolutely LOVE your ideas!! so much so that i spent most of my downtime drawing all of them :') please feel free to send more whenever you'd like <3

they're definitely headed to the carousel ride

broke: they would sulk together about their guilt and martyr complexes

woke: they would make insufferable sparring partners /lh

the only thought in my head with this one was "ratatouille" even though future mikey is probably still good at cooking (and is also teaching present mikey how to be ~magical~)

this is a panel pulled from a (very rough) comic i've been working on (and is also the other main reason why i haven't been active lol). i won't spoil anything, but it's gonna be a while before i polish it enough to post it (and yes, there will be beachballs i promise)

again, you're ideas are awesome, dude! one of my big new years resolutions is to draw and post more, so thanks for taking the time to reach out :)

[tigergirltail]

TIGER HRT CHAPTER 4 - MONTH 3 - GROWING PAINS

First - Prev - Next

Everything hurts.

I started noticing it about two weeks after my first dose. It felt like a dull headache at first, but over the next month it spread to pretty much my entire body.

I had to start working from home, and eventually it got bad enough that I could only put in a few hours of work each day. My boss is a reasonable enough guy, but he wasn't going to pay a full time salary for part time hours, so I had to take a salary cut.

Luckily, my partner is around to take care of daily errands, not to mention being there to reassure and comfort me when the pain gets bad. They've been thinking about seeing if Lindwurm HRT is a thing, but they don't want to get the process started until I'm in the clear and can take care of myself again.

Gods I love them.

The reason the pain is happening, as best I can tell, is that my skeletal structure is already changing. I've gotten at least an inch taller, and my face has been reshaping into a feline muzzle. My teeth are getting sharper, and I'm developing proper fangs. I also noticed a little while ago that my fingernails and toenails had receded into their respective digits, which sucks for two reasons - I can't paint fingernails I don't have, and they are sore as HELL when I put any amount of pressure on them. I have to be REALLY careful with how I type to not inflict agony on myself. I'm also feeling my tail growing in, and even if it hurts, it's euphoric as HELL. A tail was always the part I wanted most out of this.

It's weird, the skeletal changes weren't supposed to happen this early. I've been trying to reach Dr. Erian about it, but he's constantly busy, probably because of the sudden surge of people looking for Humanity Removal Therapy.

Other than that, I've been getting areas of white and black fur coming in - mostly on my arms and legs, but a little bit on my face and ears - ears that are gradually reshaping and migrating. Nothing to report on hearing sensitivity, but I think my night vision is getting better.

I did a little bit of looking around for anyone with similar pain experiences. I got my hopes up when I found a girl, Antonina, who had a painful experience with Cat HRT, but it turns out it's because she took the rumoured Fifteen Minute version. She described the pain as "like bathing in an active volcano".

It leaves me wondering whether I would have preferred a 15-minute lava bath over a months-long full-body headache.

I ended up reaching out to her anyway, just because I wanted to know what I was in for in the endgame and feline HRT is rarer than I thought it would be. Sounds like the prey drive is the real deal - she keeps feeling the urge to bite this one girl who's on mouse HRT.

We've been spending some time comparing notes and getting to know each other. It's nice to know someone else who's going through this thing, even if our experiences aren't exactly one-to-one.

I also talked to my mother for the first time in nearly a year. I went No Contact with her a while back because she was only getting more obnoxious and combative about me being trans, but I figured changing my species is a big enough deal that I should keep her in the loop.

Besides, my savings had nearly dried up and I needed to ask her for money.

It… did not go well. She hadn't heard of therian HRT before, and once I explained it, she started panicking about how I'm "mutilating my body" with "untested treatments". I think I also heard her cry something about how her "son" is "killing himself", which is just multiple layers of insensitive.

At least she sent me some money. Hopefully it'll be enough to last until my transformation stops being agonizing and I can go back to work, and then I can go right back to pretending my family doesn't exist.

At roughly the three-month mark, I have a check-in video call with Dr. Erian. From the moment his face appears on screen, though, I can tell something is wrong. He seems… older, somehow.

"Hello, Miss Alexis.", he offers. He sounds tired. Sorrowful, even.

"Hey, doc." I have to ask about it. "Everything okay? You seem a bit tired."

"Nothing to worry about Miss Alexis, just the ordinary stresses of daily life."

Liar. I know I'm not entitled to details of your personal life, much less your professional secrets, but I know when something is eating at someone.

"…Does the word 'crossroads' mean anything to you, Miss Alexis?"

Huh? That came a bit out of left field. "I've… heard some other therian HRT patients use the term, but I don't know much of the details. Something about a point of no return?"

"Something of the sort." He lowers his head and seems to go from sorrowful to downright grim. "There will come a time, Miss Alexis, when you will have to make a very important decision in your care, and I ask that you do so with great consideration for the consequences."

I recoil a little in my seat. "Yeah… Of course I will. Any decision I make, even reaching out to you in the first place, I don't take it lightly."

"Good… That's good." His demeanor shifts back to his stoic, clinical self. I don't know what just happened, but he went somewhere for a moment there.

"Now then, I did receive your messages, I apologize for not getting back to you. You mentioned you were experiencing persistent and debilitating whole-body soreness?"

"Yeah. I can't even leave the apartment most days, it hurts so much."

"Odd… You are taking the treatment as directed, yes?"

"Of course. One tablespoon a week, just like it says on the bottle."

I see his eyes twitch behind his glasses. Did I say something wrong?

"…Teaspoon."

I cock my head to the side. "Say again?"

"You mean one TEASPOON a week, yes?"

I feel my heart sink. The dark smear on the dosage information… I could have sworn it said '1 tbsp/week'.

"…Could you hold on a second please?" I mute the mic and call out to my partner to bring the bottle of tiger HRT over. When they do, I unmute and hold it up to the webcam. I hear Dr. Erian take a sharp intake of breath as he notices the obscured instructions.

I set the bottle aside and the two of us share an awkward silence.

"So…", I begin. "…How bad is it?"

"The good news", he offers slowly, "is that you have only been taking three times the prescribed dose. An increased dose imbalances the growth rate of the different parts of your body, hence your pain and persistent weakness, but it could have been much worse."

I think back to the so-called Fifteen Minute version, and Antonina's description of it - like bathing in an active volcano.

Dr. Erian continues. "Assuming you return to a CORRECT dose, your growth rates will gradually level out over the course of the next month or so. It is my medical opinion that you should maintain a low-activity lifestyle until then, but you will eventually be able to return to your typical activity level, and you will also find that the physical effects become more… consistent."

"That's… reassuring. Thank you, doctor." I pause. Something I noticed a little while ago has been weighing on my mind. "There's one thing, though - do the treatments have… I guess you'd call them restorative or regenerative effects? I've noticed some old wounds aren't there anymore."

The doctor clicks his pen and brings up his notepad. "Interesting. Do go on, Miss Alexis."

"Well… I used to get lower back pain from a car crash injury I got a little over a year ago, but I haven't noticed it at all lately. Pretty much the only part that DOESN'T hurt… There also used to be some marks on my arm from a cat biting me when I was little." I give a slight smile. "The cat's name was Tiger, go figure."

Dr. Erian is writing the whole time I'm talking. "Yes, that is to be expected. Minor persistent injuries will fade over time as your body re-forms itself to a new baseline, even severe chronic symptoms may fade. If there are no other concerns…"

"Just one… Most of the other therian HRT patients I've talked to have gotten their meds as pills, so what's with the potion bottle?"

Dr. Erian pauses, and adjusts his glasses nervously, as if he's been caught out on something he doesn't want to admit to. "Well… advances in the field are occurring rapidly, and you are one of the more recent patients, so a more… streamlined option was available to you. I took the liberty of choosing the most compatible option based on your medical records, and that bottle is it."

"Okay… But what's IN it?"

"The active ingredients are antihominidone, which is your humanity-blocker, and a specialized formula of felistrogen, infused with white tiger genetic material. The rest of the fluid is a suspension used to dilute the effects, without which you would be looking at a short, but excruciating and potentially lethal process."

The Fifteen Minute version, I think to myself. I'm taking diluted Fifteen Minute meds. There's no WAY this isn't experimental, and I'M the experiment. I despise saying it, but maybe my mother was right to worry.

"But I'm afraid I really do have to go, Miss Alexis, my next appointment is waiting."

"G-gotcha. See ya, doctor."

---

Special thanks to @paintedbytosia for letting me write her in, and shoutout to @megamoonerjenny for coming up with 'antihominidone'

[animeismyhappyplace]

Who knew missing a work meeting could lead to this?!

Y/N misses one of Port Mafia Executive Chuuya Nakahara's team meetings so she must explain herself to him, he invites her back to his place under the guise she needs to help him with paperwork when smut ensues.

This is my own work not a reblog! Please do not repost or translate without permission as I've worked very hard on this!

TW - Minors DNI!

daddy kink, pet names, bondage play. Might be a lil OOC I've never written for Chuuya before or written kink smut so be kind 🙏

Word Limit: just over 4K 🥵

Y/N had been avoiding her supervisor officer all week, she had deliberately missed his most recent bi weekly round up meeting and she knew he'd be pissed at her for it. She'd rounded a corner in the main Port Mafia building when she heard a stern voice speak out "Why didn't you come to the meeting we had?" she sighs and looks down at her shoes suddenly finding them very interesting "Can we go to your office sir? I'd feel much more comfortable talking in private?" She hadn't even turned to look at him yet before she heard him mumble a non committal "Whatever" listening as his shoes hit against the marble floors so she turned and followed him down the small corridor. When they finally reached his office he ushered her in pushing gently at her lower back as she took in his office, not for the first time and probably not the last time, it's walls were painted in a sleek grey and silver theme very minimalist if she did think so herself but exactly what one may expect from a Port Mafia executive she thought as she sat in the black office chair across from his own. As he sat down she could see the annoyance that burned across his face at having to have another meeting about this topic which was cutting into his personal time, his fingers thumped against his desk as he looked across to her "So? What do you have to say for yourself this time L/N?" She gulped at his tone before responding sheepishly "I wasn't actually sure I'd need to come honestly, I've felt kind of sidelined on recent missions and wasn't sure I was strong enough to be classed as your subordinate. I know my ability can be useful but I don't know..." She trails off as she looks to the side focusing on a rather small speck of dust on his computer screen until she hears his huff wearily "You're not being sidelined, you're just getting more experience." he says sternly before taking a sip of what looked like some variation of a red wine. "And besides, you're doing great work so far you just lack confidence." The woman can't help but pout slightly at her mentors words as true as they may be that doesn't stop the string that hits her chest and settled in the cracks of her heart "it doesn't feel that way honestly sir" she can't look him in the eyes when she's still so unsure of her place on his team, it's a highly sought after post she knows this but maybe that's what makes it hurt more knowing she's not good enough for it yet.

He watches her crestfallen face for a moment before he replies "It does feel good that you're here, trust me." his tone softens slightly but there is still an edge to it "I'm sorry I disappointed you sir...it won't happen again! Did I miss much? maybe you could give me a recap now if you're able" she pleads to her mentor to not give up on her just yet "We were discussing our next week..." He pauses for a moment before continuing "...and then someone interrupted us by saying they wanted to talk about their feelings about certain member of the team..." he takes another sip of his wine before he begins again "she wants to quit now" shock racks across her face "That's not good, we can't afford to lose any more members especially if they keep going to the ADA, I'll...talk with whoever it is maybe I can change their mind!" She offers up her suggestion hastily "No, no," he shakes his head quickly "Don't bother talking to her, let her go, we don't need anyone who isn't loyal anymore." he stares at her intently "Just tell her that she needs to stay or else she'll regret it later." She gulps as she nods understanding the severity of wanting the leave the mafia "Of course sir. I'll pass the message on" she stutters out. "Good girl." She can't help but flush pink at the term, he's never called her anything like that before.

He smiles faintly as he leans back in his chair "Now then, what else should we discuss?" his eyes wander around the room for a second before returning to look directly into her e/c eyes "Do you know why Higuchi wants to leave?" he asks calmly yet firmly "N-no sir why?" "Because she didn't agree with your plans for the future." He says bluntly "Because she thought you weren't taking care of yourself enough." He pauses briefly before adding "But most importantly, she couldn't stand being near you anymore." He sighs deeply "That's all there was to it" "What?! I haven't done anything to offend her... Have I?" she starts to sift through memories to see what she had done to hurt her friend "Of course you did! You were always so irritating!" He snaps angrily "You never cared about getting yourself nearly killed which puts everyone else in danger too!"

He stands up suddenly and begins pacing around the room "It doesn't matter how many times you apologize or beg forgiveness, nothing will ever change the fact that you're an awful subordinate" she can't help the hurt that shoots into her chest and flashes across her face "I have always tried my best!...sir..." She stops talking about her voice can crack with pain. "Oh please..." His voice drops slightly as he stops pacing and turns towards her "...don't lie to yourself." He takes another step closer until their faces are almost touching "The truth is plain to see now. All these years spent trying to make everyone happy only made you miserable in the end." Her brow furrows at his statement "Maybe...but the team functions better now than it ever has! Someone had to sacrifice for the better of the organisation" the chair she'd been sitting on now lies on the floor as she jumps up to confront him "Sacrifice?" He laughs mockingly "Is that really what this is about?! Are you saying that by sacrificing yourself for others, you somehow achieved greatness?!" He shakes his head sadly "No one lives life without making sacrifices sometimes, especially those who wish to succeed in their goals." She looks down then before mumbling out her reply "I've sacrificed as much as you have, I can't imagine being a executive has been without it's struggles" he smiles softly "Yes, it has been hard work, but worth every second of it." He gives her a small nod before turning back to face her "And now here we are. The perfect balance between efficiency and effectiveness. It seems like everything has come together perfectly." He chuckles lightly.

she glances to the side of his desk seeing all the unfinished mission statements that need completed when she suddenly has an idea "Why you don't head home early sir and I'll finish all that work for you" his expression softens "I'm sure it'd be a big help for you" he chuckles softly as he shakes his head "You don't need to do that, it's my work I'll do it". Y/N shakes her head firmly not wanting to budge "well there must be some way I can make up for missing the meeting?" He thinks for a moment "How about you come to my place tonight?" He smirks at the girl in front of him as she turns a dark red thinking of the implications of his words "Sir? Do you need help with the papers? Or..." She trails off not really sure what she's asking him he nods slowly "Yeah, I wouldn't mind having someone around while I work on these papers. Plus, I think you'd enjoy spending time with me right?" He winks playfully at her.

That stops her in her tracks does he know about her little crush why else would he offer for her to come to his come when they could work on his reports here. Finally she gulps down the saliva that pools under her tongue and nods slowly not trusting her words, to be shown such attention from an executive as highly thought of as Chuuya was exciting to say the least. He grins widely "Good girl~" He takes out his phone and types in a few commands before handing it to her to input her number, "Text me whenever you're free so we can hangout"she nods quickly and inputs her number "I thought we were heading back tonight?" She tilts her head confused "Oh we are I just need to finish finalising something real quick then we will go.

Chuuya's fingers clack at the keyboard quickly for a few moments before he speaks again " We should probably go soon since it's getting late already" He stands up and stretches his arms above his head to stretch out his aching back "Let's get going then shall we?" Y/N grabs the few belongings she brought with her today and looks to her mentor "Ready when you are" He nods to her and they leave the building together.

They walk through the dark streets together until they reach Chuuya's apartment building where he unlocks the door and leads her inside, she walks inside of his penthouse tentatively, looking around at his sleek walls and plush looking furniture "You have a lovely apartment sir" she breaths out taking every inch in "Thank you very much for today, coming to see me about the missed meeting" He sits down on one of the couches and pats his lap invitingly "Come sit with me". He looks at her expectantly waiting for her response "You look stunning today by the way. You're wearing something a little more...revealing today...that for me?" He smirks to himself she flushes as she looks down at her blouse it had been unseasonally hot recently and lighter slightly more revealing work outfits had been essential "I-it's been so hot recently I've needed to adapt my clothes I'm sorry if I've made you uncomfortable sir" she frowns as she joins him on the couch "No worries, I don't mind seeing you wear something like that" His gaze lingers over her body "It suits you well though" He reaches forward and gently touches her arm "You know what else would suit you perfectly? If you took off your jacket" she shrugs the material off quickly almost as if it lingered on her skin any longer it would burn her "Would you be willing to try something new for me" He looks into her eyes expectantly.

She nods almost dazed as she looks down at his hand which is tracing small lines into her skin "What would you like to try sir?" He leans closer and whispers in her ear "How about I tie down your pretty hands to my bed~?" He chuckles softly before pulling away from her and standing up "Let's take this to my bedroom shall we?" He takes her hand and leads her towards his room "Strip for me please baby" She flushes a deep red at his words and follows to his bedroom starting to remove articles of clothes as they move. "Good girl~" He opens the door and steps inside leaving her alone in the room "Come here" He gestures towards the bed where he lays out several ropes and various other items such as handcuffs and blindfolds "Now lie down on the bed and spread those beautiful thighs of yours wide open for me darling~" She gulps down her nerves and nods to him, removing the last of her clothing leaving her bare to her bosses piercing eyes, she lays down on his monochrome silk sheets and spreads her legs for him to invite him into her personal space.

"Mmhmm... You're looking very delicious right now aren't you sweetheart?" He smirks and moves between her legs, running his hands along her inner thigh before reaching up and grabbing hold of her wrists pinning them above her head "There we go~ Now let's see how much pleasure we can draw out of your pretty little body" He murmurs admiring her form, he suddenly looks to her face "You heard of the traffic light system sweetheart?" she smiles lightly at his wanting to make sure she's safe and comfortable during their encounter and nods her head "Yes green means go, yellow means I'm unsure but want to continue and red is stop immediately" "Good girl~ and your safe word?" he asks while trailing his fingers to her inner thighs teasinger her with his gentle touches she thinks for a moment before responding "Peaches" She nods and giggles softly. "Are you ready to start lovely?" He asks as he spreads her legs a little further she nods as the pulls him down to her lips giving him a firm kiss.

Chuuya starts his teasing by turning his head the the side peppering her thighs with small kisses, giving small nibbles and licks every few minutes "I've always thought you were incredibly beautiful you know and so dedicated to the PM... To me" a whine bubbles up to her lips at his teasing as she watches him between her thighs "I've always been so fond of you sir I'd never want to disappoint you" Chuuya chuckles softly and leans forward pressing another soft kiss against her inner thigh "Stop calling me sir my love or I'll have to punish you" He smirks at her before pulling back slightly looking into her eyes again "do you trust me?" he asks "Yes Chuuya I trust you... trust you with my life" She smiles at him he smiles back running his thumb along her cheek making her shiver "Good now tell me what are your thoughts on our relationship? Do you think we could be together? Before we start I'd like to know where we stand" He asks gently stroking her hair as he stares deeply into her eyes hoping that she'll accept his offer "I'm yours Chuuya, I've been yours since I was told I'd be working under you" She smiles at him as she lifts her hand to card her fingers through his hair and down his neck resting at his neck.

His heart skips a beat as he feels her touch "That's what I wanted to hear baby~" he whispers placing one last gentle kiss on her forehead before leaning in closer to whisper in her ear "Close your eyes my love" He smirks as he steps down from the bed to grab the supplies he needs she nods her head as she relaxes into his sheets "I trust you with my body" She softly closes her eyes, he uses some velvet covered cuffs to attach her arms to his headboard before moving down and attaching some cuffs to her ankles which spread her out for his eyes to explore. Next he starts to remove his clothes starting with his dress shirt then moving to his pants then his boxers to expose his already hard length to her watching eyes she lets out a needy whine as she pleads to him "I need you so badly Chuuya~"

He grins teasingly watching her squirm around beneath him "You're such an adorable thing aren't you? You look so cute tied up like this." He says playfully as he leans forward kissing along her collarbone trailing soft kisses down her chest until finally reaching her nipples which he takes between his teeth she gasps as she feels his teeth gently encase her hardened nipples sighing as he licks over the bud sucking softly before moving to the other side and paying just as much attention to her other breast "F-feels so nice Chuu~" He continues licking and nibbling all over her breasts enjoying every second of it before moving lower still stopping to tease her belly button with his tongue before continuing further south towards her core where he pauses briefly to lick and kiss her inner thighs before finally settling between her legs "So warm... So wet and I've barely started" He smirks up at her as she gently tugs at the cuffs wanting to grab his head and push him down to where she needs him most "Stop t-teasing Chuu I need you so badly~" His eyes sparkle mischievously as he sees her struggling against the restraints knowing exactly what she wants "Oh my dear little one if only you'd told me that sooner~" He teases before beginning to explore her folds with gentle caresses and light licks moaning softly at the taste of her juices, she gasps harshly and tips her head back "F-fuck Chuuya your tongue feels so good~" He smiles at the sounds he's pulling from her as he drives his head down to explore her pretty pussy further, he licks a stripe up the full length of her pussy collecting her wetness on his tongue before sliding his tongue around her sensitive clit.

She lets out a drawn out moan as he pleasures her, bucking her hips up to meet his tongue "Why didn't we do this sooner" She huffs out a laugh with her head still tipped backwards as he chuckles softly he moves away from her clit leaving behind trails of saliva which drips onto her soft skin "Well now let's see how well you can take it shall we?" He says teasingly while looking up at her seductively, he wraps his hand around his length giving it a few teasing strokes while she nods quickly as she watches his movements licking her lips at the sight of his pretty cock "Please give it to me Chuuya I need you inside me now" His smile widens into a wide grin as he slides himself between her thighs slowly pushing himself deep inside her tight walls causing her to gasp in pleasure "Oh yes baby, just relax for me okay? You're doing great." He whispers huskily as he begins to move within her slowly building up speed.

She pulls at her restraints again harder this time making her hiss slightly in pain and she bucks her hips up to try and match his steady thrusts "Fuck chuu~ you feel even better than I could have ever imagined, you're making me feel so full" He grins almost wickedly as he continues to pound into her hard and fast, each stroke sending waves of pleasure through both their bodies "You like that don't you? You love having my big fat dick buried deep inside you don't you?" He asks mockingly as he leans forward to kiss her lips passionately, licking his tongue into her mouth, she moans loudly into his mouth as she matches his eagerness in their kiss "Yesss~ I need your fat cock chuuya! Need you to make me cum on your cock~ I-I'm close" She gasps against his lips. He groans softly as he keeps pounding away at her relentlessly his rough thrusts shaking his headboard as it bangs loudly into his walls "Cum for me now babygirl!" He reaches his hand down between their sweaty bodies as he roughly rubs her abused clit feeling her tighten around him as he slams into her one final time burying himself fully inside her as she spasms around him, legs shaking as she cums causing him to groans harshly as he cums hard.

He chuckles darkly as he slides out of her leaving only the head of his member still inside her causing her to whimper slightly "Well done little one...but there's no rest for us yet." He says sternly as he grabs onto her thighs pulling them apart spreading her wide open exposing her pink soaked pussy to his eyes, her body shakes as she's coming down from her high "Fuck Chuuya my pussy can't take much more" She whines out as she watches him grinning at her as he starts slowly pushing inside her stretching her tight muscles around his girth "Mmmh..such a good girl... You're so fucking wet aren't you?" Y/N nods her head sharply "F-fuck yes! I'm your good girl! You've made me so fucking wet baby" She whines as he starts to fuck her harder, pushing her slowly into overstimulation as her tired walls tighten around his fat cock.

His grip on her thighs tighten as he begins thrusting into her faster and harder making sure not to let up even for a second letting out a low moan of pleasure as he feels her tightening around him "Ohhh yeah... That's right... Keep cumming for me darling... Cum for daddy.... Cum for daddy" He reaches one of his hands down to play with her little clit. She throws her head back harshly as she grips the edge of the cuffs, tearing falling down her cheeks as she cums causing her legs to shake against Chuuya, whining and sobbing as her body shakes with painful pleasure.

As soon as she cums he pulls out quickly slamming it deep again causing her to cry out in pain but also pleasure as he slams his thick member into her ah~ such a good girl.... My sweet girl... Ohh god..... Your pussy is so warm and tight...so so soft... And so delicious..." She sobs through moans as her throat becomes croaky from over use, her body heating up from his praise. He smirks at her before grabbing her hips firmly and pulling them towards him burying himself deeper inside her than ever before "Ohhhh yesssss... Take all of daddy's big dick... Take every inch of this monster... Mmmmphh..." His body shakes as his thrusts become shallow as he spurts out a few lines of cum before he pulls out watching the cum trickle out of her abused hole, her body shakes as she watches her partner cum again before she shakes her arms as the cuffs clink against his bed "A little help here?" She giggles at him as he huffs out a chuckle lifting his tired body to unclip her restraints, making sure he kisses all the marks that have been left behind "Sorry love, think I got a bit carried away at the end there" He pushes his sweat caked hair back as he joins her back in bed, pulling her close to his body.

She smiles brightly as she gently wraps her arms around him, leaving light kisses to his chest "That was... Intense" She laughs as she cuddles into his side, he chuckles softly as he nuzzles her neck lightly "Yeah, you were pretty amazing too baby right?" He winks playfully at her he gives her a slight peck on the tip of her nose "We should really clean you up my love" He sighs wistfully, she pouts at her lover but rolls her eyes slightly and nods "One last kiss first?" She smiles as she reaches her arms out to him, he nods happily as he leans down for another passionate kiss, their tongues dancing together until they break apart slowly and he makes his way over to his en suite where he grabs a few washclothes, wiping her down as gently as he can to avoid more abuse to her already fucked out hole.

Once he's done he smiles and throws the cloth away and looks at her with a smirk on his face "That was fun wasn't it?" Chuuya grins widely at her "Wanna go again?" He asks teasingly. Y/N looks up at him in mock alarm "Are you kidding me Chuuya I don't think I'll be able to walk for a week as it is! No way I'll be able to go to work tomorrow!" She laughs as she reaches her hands to wrap around his neck, his grin widens even further as he pulls her closer to him and starts kissing her deeply once more, this time going slower than before so he can savor every moment of their closeness "You're such an adorable little thing aren't you?" He whispers against her lips "Fuck I'm glad you wanted me as much as I wanted you, I'll make something up to to tell Mori tomorrow" He smirks as he looks into her eyes "You'd better it's your fault" She giggles as she playfully hits his chest softly before cuddling back into his side "I love you Chuuya Nakahara~" He chuckles lightly as he wraps his arm around her waist and holds her close to him "I love you too Y/N L/N" He kisses her forehead affectionately before pulling away slightly to look deep into her eyes watching as she yawns Chuuya looks at her and smiles "Stay here tonight baby and we will talk about us more tomorrow hmm?" The woman nods thankfully as she gives him one last kiss before settling into his bed with a smile, he watches her drift off to sleep and leans forward to give her another soft kiss on the cheek before turning off the lights and wrapping his arms around her to join her in sleep. Tomorrow can wait for a while he thinks as he basks in the love they've shared together.

[ladymirdan]

Warning, fandom rant.

I was gonna piggyback ride off Tagedezorns post about falling out of love with the fandom.

Dont get me wrong, I still fucking LOVE 40k.

Im having a great time painting my minis, reading the lore, reading and talking with the BL authors on twitter or talking the ears off the staff in my local GW (don't worry, they love it, and they have some fantastic HC’s too!)

But the rest of it is sadly losing its appeal for me as well, and it saddens me to see other fan artists or writers feeling the same, I thought it was just me.

When I first started to become active in the shipping fandom about a couple of years ago it was fantastic. I felt so welcome and wanted, I had never gotten a reception like that in any fandom before. I even faced my fear and started writing fanfiction, and people seemed to love it.

But the last months/year it feels like it's all gone. As if Tumblr has died, it feels like I'm shouting into the void. (I have a few people who still interact on my posts and I see you and I love you). But I have eightdoubled my followers last year, but that hasn't resulted in any more interaction, other than a few more likes. But to be fair, likes does nothing.

Im not an influencer or a content creator, and I have zero aspirations to become one. That is why I stopped doing tiktoks. I do not want to chase trends or algorithms, I want to be unhinged about my blorbos and see people being unhinged about their blorbos in turn.

I love the intense passion fandom can have, even when it's not a character I'm personally into.

I really don't want Tumblr to die. I have tried Discord and it was the most alienating and disheartening experience I've had since like high school.

When I first tried it out it was soo much fun, but as time went on, more and more people who seemed to like me stopped posting on there, and more and more whenever I posted I just got straight up ignored.

I could post in a channel that had been dead for weeks, and suddenly people started posting about other things, everyone ignoring what I wrote. If it happened once or twice I wouldn't have bothered, but a dozen or more times? It just fucking sucks. I noticed how it started affecting my mental health, trying to reach out and talk to people, but just being talked around and over. So I just stopped posting.

If someone doesn't like me on Tumblr I won't notice or get sad, but seeing it happen in real-time just fucking sucks.

And also, on Tumblr there is always the off chance that your post gets necromanced. That just doesn't happen on Discord.

And another thing that has happened a lot is I write a fic or a Tumblr post. It gets zero interaction, and I'm like “oh I guess no one is interested about that,” and then I see that someone has just reposted my fic/post in a discord and people are geeking out over it over there.

I'm not a paid artist/writer. I do what I do because I want to geek out over something, preferably with someone else. But I effectively become removed from my art. People are discussing it, just not with me.

Dealing with being unliked as a person fucking sucks. Especially when it's supposed to be your hobby-fun-time. And it is making me not want to post stuff anymore.

[dontaskmemybias]

The Fan Meeting

Pairing: Idol!Han Jisung x afab fanfic writer reader Request: No Theme: Strangers to Lovers Contains: Panic Attacks, Cursing, Unprotected Sex (don't do this), Loads of Fluff, Angst If You Squint. Word Count: 4,933 Note: MINORS DNI!!!! This is a work of fiction and does not portray any of the members irl. I was thinking to myself, what if my worst nightmare and one of my fantasies collided? Then this came out haha! I know some of the details aren't accurate, this is fiction so don't come for me! 😂

_

You had been wanting to see Stray Kids live for forever. You were a huge STAY, you even (embarrassingly) wrote fan fiction about them on Tumblr. For your birthday your lovely best friends since childhood decided to get you tickets to see them live AND do a fan meeting. One of them said she would come with you (you had gotten her into the group and she is now a proud STAY as well) and it was all the two of you could talk about for weeks.

"I CAN'T BELIEVE WE ARE SEEING THEM TOMORROW I'M GONNA PASS OUT AND/OR CRY I SWEAR TO GOD!" Your bestie had heard you talk about how your were probably going to have a heart attack or spontaneously combust for weeks so, being used to this dialogue, she just laughed and shook her head at your antics.

"If you pass out I'll just throw some water on you so you don't miss too much." She deadpanned. This caused you to crack up hysterically until she joined in and soon the two of you were clutching your ribs from how hard you had been laughing.

"Just 24 more hours and we will be front row watching my favorite boys." You sighed wistfully and your friend just chuckled.

"Yeah, 24 hours!"

~✨~

Your heart was racing as you lined up outside the venue. You had missed the last world tour because you had just gotten into the group and couldn't afford tickets, but that didn't bother you much seeing as this album was astronomy themed. You had worked at an observatory for years but you had just left the job and honestly needed a break from job hunting and what better way to decompress than seeing your favorite boys live.

You were fascinated with the sky so the first time you heard "Hall of Fame" and recognized Neil Armstrong's words you almost passed out. This was the perfect time to see your favorite boys live and you were seriously worried that you might ACTUALLY pass out at some point.

You and your bestie had dressed up for the occasion, wanting to look good for the fan meeting (Jesus the fan meeting you hadn't really thought about it too much, too worried you were going to embarrass yourself)

Once you got into the venue you were starstruck. There was merchandise and STAY's running around, excitement filled the air. You were in awe of it all and if it weren't for your bestie you would've stood there frozen taking it all in for way too long. Luckily she pulled your hand and dragged you over to the line for merchandise.

After spending WAY too much money on memorabilia you decided to head to your seats. You were absolutly buzzing with excitement as you continued forward until you reached your spots. So close to the stage you could practically see the flecks of paint on the stage floor.

"How are we feeling? Excited? Nervous? Pass-outy?" You laughed at your friends made up word.

"Pass-outy? That's ridiculous. But seriously I am just so fucking excited I cannot contain it!" You giggle-screeched and started hopping around a bit. Your friend joined you in your mini-freakout and you both started screaming when the show began to start.

~✨~

The show was AMAZING! Hands-down one of the best experiences of your life. The vocals, the rapping, the DANCING?!!?! You felt like you had died and gone to heaven. You were so star struck and in shock that you were able to be here at all that after the last song was over and they did their (adorable) goodbye speeches you felt glued to the floor, staring with your mouth open until your bestie pulled you out of it. Reminding you of the fan meeting.

The fan meeting.

Where you would get to MEET. THEM.

Excitement and nerves bubbled up within you as your bestie dragged you to the next location to wait in line to meet the boys.

~✨~

You had to wait for forever in line, you had gotten there late because your bestie had to use the bathroom so you were now literally the last people in line. Your nerves were at an all time high. What were you going to say? Your anxiety started to flare up but your bestie calmed you down before you could have a full blown panic attack.

Finally you were next. You'd see Chan first, then Changbin, Lee Know, Han, Felix, Hyunjin, Seungmin, and finally I.N. You could do this, no need to be worried.

You moved a few steps, bestie in tow, and came in front of Bang Chan himself. You smiled and waved a little. He giggled a bit and waved back.

"Hi I'm Bang Chan! And you are?"

"H-hello, I'm Y/N."

"Oh don't mind her, she's nervous! Y/N here is a huge fan! She even writes fanfiction about you guys! She's Y/URL on Tumblr!"

You froze. She did not just tell them your dark secret like that. You two always teased each other but she had no idea how badly this freaked you out. Your eyes were wide, you didn't notice but all the guys were looking at you now with varying expressions from confusion to amusement.

You started breathing a little heavier. Your hand started shaking.

Fuck.

You were about to have a panic attack in front of all eight members of Stray Kids.

You tried calming yourself down but tears began to well up in your eyes. Your breathing got shallower and before you knew it someone was ushering you away from the crowd and into a separate room.

Someone was holding your hand, talking to you calmly. There were other people in the room as well, you couldn't really tell who, your brain was only at half capacity as you fought the urge to sink deeper into your panic. The logical part of your brain realized it was probably your bestie in front of you and security with her to make sure you were okay, but her hands felt a little bigger than normal. You didn't register that fact, you just laid down until your head was in her lap and you began to work through your exercises to bring you out of your panic.

Find five things you can see.

You focused on your skirt, the cute one you decided to wear tonight. The floor, white tile with black designs on it. The security guard, closer to you than anyone else other than your best friend. The plant on the floor next to you, in a cute ceramic pot. Finally the fan on the ceiling, not on but sitting stagnant.

You didn't notice but you were listing things out loud, your brain in too much of a haze to comprehend what was going on.

Four things you can hear.

Your heartbeat, a bit higher than normal but slowing down as you listed things. Your breathing, shallow but more steady than it was before. Your best friend, apologizing and explaining the situation to the security guard, she sounded farther away than you expected. Another voice, saying calming and reassuring things in a gentle low voice.

Three things you can feel.

Your hand on the cool tile floor, lowering your rising body temperature. Your skirt, you take it in your fingers to feel the fabric. A gentle hand running through your hair to calm you down.

Two things you can smell.

The perfume you put on today for the show, peaches, your favorite. Cologne, an unfamiliar scent, definitely not what your bestie had been wearing tonight.

One thing you can taste.

The remnants of the snack you and your bestie shared during the show.

After running through the exercise your brain slowly turned back on and the first thing it registered was that this was NOT your bestie who you were laying on.

You sat up quickly and looked at who had been comforting you for god knows how long and your breath hitched.

Han Jisung.

You were trying to think of what to say but he beat you to it.

"How are you feeling? Do you need anything? Water maybe?" You shyly nodded your head and you saw one of the security guards leave and bring you back a bottle of water. You took a quick sip and looked back to Han.

"I-I am so sorry, I thought you were my friend, I-I didn't realize-" He cut you off

"No worries. I saw your face drain its color and you started shaking back there so I knew what was going on. I get panic attacks too so I figured I might be able to help!" He flashed you a quick smile and ran a hand over the nape of his neck.

You stared at him for much longer than you would've liked, trying to figure out what the actual fuck you were supposed to say in this scenario. The only thing your stupid lizard brain could come up with was "Thank you for letting me use you as a pillow."

What. The. Fuck.

Jesus Christ you are worse than the oblivious girls you wrote about in your little delulu land on Tumblr.

Han just giggled a bit and flashed you his biggest smile.

"I didn't mind, anything to help out a fan!"

Right. A fan, who embarrassingly had a full blown panic attack in front of her favorite band.

Thankfully your bestie came over at that moment to break the awkward silence that had settled over you and Han. Dramatically sobbing she landed on the floor next to you and took your hand in hers.

"Jesus Y/N I am so fucking sorry, I don't know why I said that I didn't mean to freak you out so much-" You cut her off before she had a full mental breakdown too.

"Hey, hey it's okay! I'm okay now, no worries." You smiled at her softly and she took a deep breath.

You all got up off the floor and thanked everyone for helping you out. You figured you must have been out of it for a bit seeing as the room next door was pretty quiet now. Not wanting to waste anyones time you started to head for the door.

"Wait! Y/N, I feel bad you didn't get to say hi to the other guys, would you like me to at least sign something for you?" This boy was a literal angel. Here you were, making his day even longer than he had probably planned on it being and now HE wants to do something nice for YOU?

"You really don't have to do that, I feel bad for making you stick around so long." You sheepishly looked down at the floor. Han walked closer to you until his feet were in your line of vision. You slowly looked up and saw him less than a foot away from you and he smiled again.

"It's no problem at all! I really want to. Please?" Shit you weren't gonna turn down such a golden opportunity. You handed him one of the photocards you got with his picture on it and he kept his hand out, waiting for more things to sign. You giggled and pulled out the three others you got.

All Han. He was after all, your bias.

He chuckled and walked over to a nearby table to sign the fan cards. When he came back he smiled and handed them to you.

"It was lovely to meet you Y/N, I hope to see you again soon."

Then he winked.

He fucking winked at you.

What fanfic bullshittary was this?

~✨~

After security made sure you were okay you and your bestie left and headed back to the hotel you were staying in for the night. You let her have it over telling the band about your fanfic account and she kept apologizing until you finally decided that it was ultimately okay, especially since you got some signatures out of it.

You did not tell her that Han had winked at you. That was just for you.

Finally you got to the hotel room and she started squealing.

"Show me the cards! I want to see his signature!!"

You giggled and pulled them out. The first one was simply signed 'Han'.

The second one said 'Y/N's biggest fan'

You looked at your bestie, thoroughly confused.

"What the hell does that mean?"

Her jaw dropped and she pointed to the third card. It was signed not with his name, but a Tumblr URL.

Your jaw dropped.

No. Fucking. Way.

It was a URL you had seen on so many occasions. Commenting, liking, and reblogging every single one of your fics. Your biggest fan on Tumblr was FUCKING HAN JISUNG?!

You looked at the fourth photocard, it was signed 'Jisung' but on the back there was a note.

'Meet me at the Marriott on Fourth street tonight, room 461 ;)'

Your heart stopped.

You must be dreaming.

There is no way this is real.

Your bestie screams.

"Y/N YOU HAVE TO FUCKING GO OH MY GOD PLEASE GO AND TELL ME WHATEVER YOU CAN TOMORROW!!!!"

Before you can register what is happening she grabs your phone and orders you an uber before pushing you out the door and telling you to 'be safe!'

~✨~

Twenty minutes later you find yourself in front of room 461 at the Marriott on Fourth street. Your nerves are at an all time high as you hesitantly knock on the door half-expecting a serial killer to be on the other side because that would be more plausible than seeing Han Jisung open the door and smile at you before ushering you inside.

Once you get inside you have absolutly no fucking clue what to do other than fiddle with the hem of your skirt and stare at the floor. Han just chuckles and walks over to the bed before plopping down on the mattress.

"I am so glad you came, I have been dying to meet my favorite writer in person for ages now!" Your head snaps in his direction and he has a cocky grin plastered on his face.

"You seriously read my fanfics about you guys?" You are in shock, still half-believing this is all a dream.

"Hell yeah I do! The other guys sometimes read them too, we like to read all the stuff our fans write but you are by far my favorite, especially now that I know for sure I am your bias." Your face drops and you stare at him wide-eyed while he stands up and walks over to you.

"Hey it's okay, I won't bite, unless you want me to of course." And he winks at you again.

You could fucking die on the spot.

Han grabs your hand and leads you over to the bed to sit down. He keeps your hand in his lap and you see a faint blush take his cheeks. He starts to look almost as nervous as you are and you don't think you have ever seen him look so fucking attractive before.

"But seriously Y/N, you're an incredible writer and I am so happy you actually came. Your stories are so great and I honestly just wanted to talk with you about them. Like, where do you get the ideas for the stuff you write?"

It takes you a second to gather your thoughts and answer his question. All that you can about think at the moment is how Han fucking Jisung reads your stories and is currently holding your hand blushing like a god damn schoolboy.

"Well, a lot of what I write are recommendations sent in by other people, but the stuff I come up with honestly just comes to me randomly. Like, I read a lot of fanfiction and I take my favorite tropes and just think about who would fit best and then the story just flows as I go. Honestly half the time I don't even have an end goal in mind, I just write until it feels finished." Now its your turn to flush and look down at your intertwined hands.

Han starts rubbing soothing circles on the back of your hand with his thumb as he lets out a small hum.

"That's incredible, you must have an amazing imagination to come up with so many stories."

"Yeah, my mom used to call me a space cadet growing up because I always had my head in the clouds." You chuckled and Han did too.

"That's so cute! Space cadet, I'm definitely going to be using that from now on."

After the initial shock wore off from being in Han's room, the two of you continued talking. First just about your writing, but eventually about movies you both like, T.V. shows, anime, books, and everything else. It was insane how fast you got comfortable with him. Eventually you found yourself laying on the bed next to him, hands still intertwined as you told him about space and you guys talked about the vastness of the cosmos together. Once you had covered almost every topic you could he leaned over to look at you.

"Would you want to stay and maybe watch a movie or something? I really like your company. It can get kinda lonely in these hotel rooms."

"Yeah of course, I like hanging out with you too Han." You smiled at him.

"You can call me Jisung, it's what most of my friends call me." Your heart skipped a beat. Han Jisung just implied you were friends now?

Before you could fully react Jisung got up and grabbed the T.V. remote before settling back on the bed, sitting against the headboard. He patted the spot next to him and you climbed up to sit next to him while he scrolled through the channels to find something for the two of you to watch.

He eventually saw Howl's Moving Castle and looked over to you. You nodded and giggled as he pushed play.

The two of you watched the movie in peaceful quiet, commenting on the story here and there. About a third of the way through Jisung's hand found yours again and he pulled it into his lap, pulling you a little closer to him in the process. After a few minutes he switched the hand that was holding yours so he could wrap his arm around you, you settled into his side and rested your head on his shoulder, smiling as you heard him let out a content sigh.

The two of you stayed cuddled up like that for the rest of the movie. You started to get a little tired by the end but when would you ever be in this position again? So you pushed through the drowsiness overcoming your body and finished out the movie mostly awake.

Once the movie was over you shifted a bit to look at Jisung. "I should probably head out, its really late." Jisung looked a little sad for a moment.

"What if you stayed here tonight? I could get you a car to take you home tomorrow? We are in town for another show tomorrow, maybe we could even do this again?" He looked hopeful. You smiled and nuzzled into his side.

"Yeah okay, I doubt I could get a ride at this hour anyway."

Jisung absolutly beamed at your response and sat up stretching his back.

"Yay sleepover!" He started laughing. "If you'd like, I have some clothes you could change into to be a bit more comfortable?"

"Yeah that would be great!"

"There's some facewash in the bathroom too you can use!"

With that Jisung got up and grabbed you one of his big tee shirts and a pair of boxers to change into. You got changed in the bathroom and washed your face. Your mind was racing with so many thoughts but the moment you came back into the room and saw Jisung snuggled under the blankets all you could think of was how lucky you were to get this experience.

You climbed into bed next to Jisung and he turned to look at you. "Y/N?"

You turned to him and smiled. "Yes Jisung?"

"Can we- I don't want to make you uncomfortable, but can we cuddle?" You giggled at his bashfulness.

"Yeah Jisung, we can cuddle." He let out a cute squeal of happiness and scooted towards you so he could wrap his arms around you. You snuggled your face into his chest and he let out a sigh of happiness.

"Goodnight Y/N."

"Goodnight Jisung."

~✨~

The next morning went so quickly. You and Jisung had to wake up way too early for your liking. Jisung got you a car like he promised and made sure you were coming back later that night. You swore you would and he gave you a big hug before ushering you into the car so he could go do a million things before their concert.

When you got back to the hotel room your bestie was still sleeping so you just got into the other bed and crashed. Still exhausted from staying up all night with Jisung.

In your dreams you were a princess in medieval times. You were lonely until one day your knight in shining armor showed up (Jisung of course) and he swept you off your feet. You had a forbidden romance because you were engaged to some prince you had never met from a faraway land. But in the end Jisung was actually the prince! He had come early to meet you under false pretenses to judge your character and he found you to be the perfect wife and you lived happily ever after. Until an earthquake hit. The ground shaking, loud noises all around you. More shaking.

And you woke up. To your bestie shaking you awake. Out of your lovely dream and into reality.

A reality where you quickly remembered, you had stayed with Jisung last night.

Holy fuck that actually happened?

"BITCH TELL ME EVERYTHING, WHEN DID YOU GET BACK?!"

After a long ass conversation where you told your bestie all the details you decided (well really she told you you had to) go hang out with Jisung again that night.

You decided to stay in the hotel all day with your bestie watching shitty rom-coms and laughing about all the cringey tropes movies use to catch your attention. You were just about crawling out of your skin trying to process the last 48 hours and decided to have a chill day to prepare for the long night ahead of you.

~✨~

It was about 11:30PM by the time you got an uber over to Jisung's hotel and you still were convinced that this was all a dream, but as you walked up to his door you were sure that this was in fact reality and you were going to the Han Jisung's room at almost midnight in just a hoodie and leggings. You seriously considered going back to your hotel to change but you suddenly heard a loud thud on the other side of the door and you reached up to knock on the door to make sure everything was alright.

When Jisung opened the door he had that huge smile on his face again and he pulled you in for a hug immediately, letting the door shut behind you.

"Oh my god I'm so glad you came I was worried you wouldn't show!" you started giggling and hugged him back.

"Of course I came silly, I would be an idiot not to! Plus I'm excited to see what movie you have for us tonight!" He giggled back and pulled away from the hug to walk over to the bed.

"I am feeling a bit daring tonight, how about we watch a scary movie?" You walked over and sat on the bed next to him.

"Okay but if I jump you have to promise not to make fun of me!" He giggled at that and grabbed the TV remote.

"Of course not! I'll just laugh in my head." You playfully slapped his arm and he dramatically fell onto the bed like he had just been shot which caused you to double over and laugh loudly.

He finally got up and turned on the TV searching through the horror movies.

"See anything you like?" Looking straight at him you replied a simple "Yeah." He looked up and saw you staring at him and giggled a little bit before picking a movie and turning it on.

You both leaned back and Jisung moved his arm behind you to hold onto you. You smiled and leaned into him as the movie played.

After about 30 minutes you realized that Jisung was just as afraid of horror movies as you were. You would both jump at the same time, yelp, and hold onto each other tighter as the scenes played out.

By the time the movie ended the two of you were completely tangled on the bed. You were almost half in his lap from the amount of times you burrowed into him during the scary scenes.

"Y/N? You okay?" Jisung looked down at where you had burrowed into his chest.

"Yeah, I just won't be able to sleep ever again so there's that." You both started laughing and his grip on you grew a little tighter.

"Well, no worries, you can stay here with me, I can protect you." He said with a sheepish smile on his face.

"But what about tomorrow? You're leaving so I'll have to sleep alone again." You said somberly. You looked up at him and he had a sad smile on his face.

Jisung lifted his hand and pushed the hair out of your face, then he let his hand linger on your cheek. He looked like he was contemplating something until you looked down at his lips. Then he slowly leaned in and kissed you.

You let yourself fall into the kiss, your arms wrapping tighter around him. He pulled you closer into him until you both pulled away for air. He leaned his forehead on yours.

"Would it be crazy if I asked you to come with us?" He whispered. His breath tickling your face.

"Would it be crazy if I said I would?" You breathed out. You heard his breath hitch and before you could process what was happening he had flipped you so you were laying on the bed with him hovering above you, his forehead pressed against yours again.

"Don't play with me love, I'm serious. Come with us. You can stay with me every night and I'll pay for your plane tickets and everything."

Holy fuck he was serious. You thought about it for a moment. You didn't have a job, you were month-to-month on your apartment so you could leave pretty much whenever. It's not like you had anything tying you down.

But then...

"What if you get sick of me? I'd have nowhere to go."

"Baby I'd never get sick of you, and if you ever want to leave I would pay for you to come home. I just don't want this to end." He leaned down and kissed you softly. Then he whispered, his lips touching yours, "I can't say goodbye yet."

You sadly smiled at the desperation, the sadness in his voice. You didn't want this to end either.

Instead of replying you pulled him down to you in a searing kiss. He reciprocated almost immediately and the kiss grew more heated. The two of you were tangled together in the most heated makeout session you'd ever had. He pulled away just long enough to rip his shirt off and throw it somewhere in the room. You eventually did the same.

After that everything was a blur of clothes flying and messy kisses. Eventually the both of you were completely naked and feeling each other up, hands roaming across one another's bodies. Finally Jisung slipped inside you and you both let out a breath you weren't aware you were holding.

He stilled inside you once he bottomed out and looked into your eyes.

"You are so beautiful."

You let a single tear fall as he began moving. The two of you panting and moaning as he set a steady speed. Sex had never been like this for you, it was like you breathed as one. You were gripping onto him in any way you could, grabbing his biceps, his waist, his face.

His thrust started to become erratic the longer you went, his hips getting a little sloppy to signal he was close. His hand came down to rub circles on your clit to get you there faster. You cried out in extasy as you felt the band in your lower belly snap. Jisung followed after a few more thrusts and laid his head down on your chest, his dick still settled inside you, slowly softening.

You both looked at each other and smiled. He pecked your nose, then your cheeks, and finally your lips before getting up to get a washrag to clean you both up.

You didn't know how long this would last, but you decided that you wanted to ride out this feeling as long as you could. So after you were both cleaned up and he settled in the bed next to you, you turned to face him.

"I'll come with you Ji, anywhere you are is where I want to be."

[maybe-boys-do-love]

SOTUS S episode 5, and I find myself wanting to cry? Nothing horrible happened. Time's just moving so differently in this series. A character gets introduced as a new employee in the procurement department, and we're told Arthit's been there for four months already! The hazing rituals that lasted fifteen episodes have passed by in a flash. Without a big announcement, the show's scooched us into a more adult sense of time, and it's filling me with melancholy. An adult perspective also permeates the characters at the office who lack the earnestness and comradery in the university's friend groups. Isn't that just like life? Some of these coworkers are guarded, some are jaded, some are manipulative. I'm actually impressed with how the show's achieved the disappointment I'm experiencing, because it's managed it so quietly, and it's a feeling that's accurate to the disenchantment many go through at some point in adulthood.

So much, really, is quietly happening in the subtext of this series. Arthit's internalized homophobia isn't being named but it pervades his anxiety and see-sawing attitude toward public affection with Kong. "Sleepovers" have been HEAVILY implied but never explicitly stated. Day's got pretty intense traumatic reactions going on that he refuses to speak on. Then, M's little romance plotline last week and the ending quote was about the feelings we act out versus what we speak out and share. I've been thinking about the similarities to Dark Blue Kiss for a few episodes now, but they've really come to the forefront now; all these motifs floating around in Sotus S encouraging us to think how out this couple can be. And we now have Kongpob, out of everyone!, closeting himself with his family (the first family moment we've gotten for all of SOTUS's run).

I can't help but think about how influential this must've been for Aof while writing DBK, and I can't wait to see the special episode that covers this series and interviews the author of SOTUS, Bittersweet, to see if she mentions any influences, because as I mentioned in my response for the last episode, there's more than a little of What Did You Eat Yesterday? in this series. The television series came out after Sotus S but it's manga began in 2007, and its mangaka, Fumi Yoshinaga is notable for having a much more queer feminist lens than many other's in yaoi and BL.

Sotus S, even with its fan service, is working for me, because it seems to be working as a wedge, using the sharp-tipped selling point of the cute young BL university boys, to widen the opening in the door for conversations and depictions beyond the limited scope of those teen romances--unique pressures on long-term queer relationships, LGBT experiences in real-world workplaces, imagining queer adulthood. The show painted the office in a silly light to invite an unfamiliar space into the BL sphere, but it's camp has begun to reveal the drudgery and inconstancy of the adult world. I'm interested to see how it depicts that maturer mindsets and kinds of love that our characters will learn to persist and find meaning in adulthood.