#because... i have never been wise
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bastardry of the flesh stopped me from finishing the expression sheet on time but it's HIS DAY so here is a little sneak preview (there are 13 or 14 on the final one, all eras, dear god)
#i'm actually inking the final ones#because... i have never been wise#my art#wip#the fool#realm of the elderlings#that's the babiest i've ever drawn him (.:#the farseer trilogy
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Little bright colored outfit with a fun vest ~
(shoes from ebay like 10 years ago. everything else is thrifted)
#ootd#jfashion#fashion#fantasy fashion#mori kei#....like... adjacent... lol#no idea what style this would be lol.. makes me think of like whimsical vaguely fantasy themed childrens book character#finally posting one of my aforementioned seven million drafts of actual outfits and costumes i have finished and edited#the photos for but just never feel like posting lol..#I need to find one of those people whos like 'omg i am ADDICTED to social media ugh i wish i could get off of it#im just browsing and posting like 60 times a daaaaay!!!' and take a little magical bottle and suck some of the social media#enthusiasim out of them. for moi. In exchange they can have some of my 'literally just never in the mood to post or interact with the#outside world ever' energy. We can balance each other. huzzah and so on#Though I think maybe it's part of the general thing I've heard of like.. I can't remember if it was in reference to adhd or just some sort#of general execcutive functioning issue type of thing - but the idea that things have to be ''just right'' before you do something. like#'oh i need to do this task. but i have to wait until XYZ first' or 'oh i can do this but only if X specific condition is met' or etc#The fact that I even have to be in a Specific Mindset to post. or sometimes will delay posting on social media because like 'oh well#I'm going somewhere tomorrow. somehow this matters. i cannot spend 5 minuts posting TONIGHT. clearly it will interfere#somehow schedule wise with the doctor appointment i have 15 hours from now. yes. yes. i must wait until my appointment is over#tomorrow afternoon. THEN i shall post' or etc. etc. lol. NOT even taking into account the many days#I just genuinely and physically sick and it's not even a mental thing. I just physically dont feel like sitting at the computer lol..#ANYWAY.. trying to get back into it. trying to get a business bank account.. make a proper paypal so i can start selling sculptures again.#selling clothes and sculptures.. posting about such things then of course as one must. etc... chanting to hype up and motivate myself lol#But yes. this is my favorite outfit out of the bunch so I am posting it first I guess.. maybe others later..#Also the purple dress says its from shein. which I've heard is bad fast fashion stuff. but maybe okay since its second hand? I havent#been to the bins since like 2020 or late 2019 even. and I think stuff like shein and temu has only become poular in the past few years#but I bet if I went to the bins now I might would find a good handfull of that stuff. Probably now not much different than what you#find in a walmart or a forever 21 or actual physical stores you can go to though. I hear quality of clothing is down everywhere no matter#where you get it or whatnot. What bountiful joys unfettered capitalism and exploitation bestows upon us (<being sarcastic).#Wearing one of my favorite little vests though. I love the texture of it and the clasps on it
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That feeling when he can't stand to see you that way, no matter what you do, no matter what you say😩😭💔
#scott pilgrims precious little life#scott pilgrim vs the world#spvtw#spto#scott pilgrim#wallace wells#lisa miller#scollace#kim pine#natalie adams#envy adams#don't rlly know if I like how this turned out but oh well;;;#hope its obvious that this is based on the song “Scott Pilgrim” which the creation the comics were inspired from#the lyrics always make me think of Wallace and Lisa's feelings for Scott every time I hear it#ofc you could also relate it to Kim especially since the singers voice kind of reminds me of her#but overall the lyrics fit these two much better since Scott never truly “saw them that way” despite how long they've liked him#and they always seem happier to see him compared to Kim#Im surprised tho that I havent yet seen anyone draw these two together now that their dialogue parallels have been acknowledged more lately#also tho I wish more people pointed out that they both got cucked by red heads LOL#and Kim and Envy actually do look really similar when scott first meets them#makes me wonder if Scott subconsciously went for Envy since she reminded him of Kim (which would be fitting given that you could argue that#Envy dated Scott because he reminded her of Todd. Since he and Scott are confirmed to be meant to be seen as similar to one another#so much so that even their first and last names rhyme#last thing I'll add tho is that while Wallace and Lisa are very similar even personality wise#the one big difference is that despite that whole conclusion on vol4 of Scott not cheating on Ramona with Lisa because he loves her#the writers apparently think it would be “organically correct” for him to have an affair with wallace LMAO#but I guess we shouldn't be surprised since Wallace and Ramona are both in the front of the official valentines art which is clearly#a deptiction of Scotts wet dream or smth (oh and you could also argue that Wallace and Lisa parallel on that art since they're both#shirtless with white socks.. which could be a reference to how lisa wears skimpy clothes for Scott and Wallace often only wears boxers#to like sexually frustrate Scott for fun or smth
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I think it was sort of implied Bill had exes (or more like ex- one night stands? Maybe even ex- acquaintances with benefits?) so my question is 1) are any of them still alive 2) will dipper meet them 3) if so will dipper /know/ that he met them, and how does he feel about that? Bonus points for descriptions of their various improbable anatomies (picture dipper meeting a sentient pile of hornets and wondering how exactly it and a triangle managed to bone down XD).
Maybe!
Possibly!
Depends! Bill might not be totally up-to-date on the 'how to healthy relationship' course - but even he knows opining on previous flings conflicts with domestic bliss. So if Dipper does meet one of the exes, he could figure it out from context clues, perhaps. Or some bystander could let him in on the hot gossip. Or the ex could be very up-front about their previous relationship to this impudent little flavor-of-the-week fleshbag.
Bill's absolutely banged some things so physically different that trying to figure out the mechanics makes Dipper's head hurt. He's not gonna think about it for multiple reasons.
#answers#I don't know how many of Bill's exes are still extant but if there are any? It's a very small number#Bill has also likely proclaimed to Dipper that he may have dated around but never *married* before. And that is actually true!#Because Bill has literally never been this close to another being before. They all got splattered before things get serious#Turns out supreme power combined with emotional instability does not lead to good survival rates for anyone dating you#When you're an immortal immature triangle with zero morality the quickest way to solve any argument that Upsets you is via immolation#Anyone who survived was either a one-night thing or wisely dipped before conflict could arise#Dipper got very very lucky that circumstances made him very hard to murder in the early days#Bill needed those training wheels on the relationship bike to get used to not getting his way#Now this old demon has learned a couple new tricks#Dipper got him REAL good and he has no idea how much so
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days since last had breakdown about the fact that I'm 31 and have only had an INTERVIEW for one (1) full-time job in my field- and it wasn't even in a part of my field that interests me -in seven years of looking: 0
#personal#there's a job I really really REALLY wanted. and I'm qualified. and everyone who knows me says I'd be perfect for it#and. no emails. no calls. nothing. it's been months. I'm really really feeling hopeless at the moment#because I can't get anyone to even fucking TALK to me#I have connections but never for places that could give me what I need job-wise#nobody in my network knows anyone at this institution. or any I apply for for that matter it seems#job search#museums#museum work#how long can I keep this up before I break and start looking for some job in admin or development#which would make me hate my life but at least fucking. be a full-time gig at all#I don't WANT to. but.
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Becoming deeply radicalized against the idea of crewed Mars missions, y'know how the Rovers keep sending back better and better data what if instead of that we made an even bigger one and devoted nearly 90% of its capacity to holding a guy in a bubble on top of it instead of sending back useful data, but wait! They'll eliminate like a half hour of latency and also almost certainly contaminate the landing site and possibly the entire planet, so it's not all downside.
#At least in the near term it's fucking pointless and the downsides are very large and very big#Quite frankly it is extraordinarily likely that the first people to arrive at mars will do so dead#Because they will have been sent by fucking idiots willing to take too large risks#But the good news is that the wreck will spread across and contaminate huge amounts of the martian biosphere#To the point that we will quite possibly never be able to discern the history of life on mars#But if they live at least they'll get to slightly reduce the latency on our telerobotic fleet!#And travel home with the samples I guess#Good thing Percy's tagging and bagging rocks that we just canceled the return trips for#At least once we fuck up the rest of the planet those will be sterile#Kinda still excited about Aritimis but also kinda becoming anti-human spaceflight in general#We should consider not doing that for a while and at most focus specifically on living on the moon in a controlled and limited fashion#Ground the whole fucking commercial fleet who gives a shit those capsules are both gonna get someone killed sooner rather than later#And it's not like we're learning a whole lot by having people on hand up there#They spend most of their time trying to keep the machines from falling apart#Which is the main thing people would be doing for three continuous years on the shortest possible mars mission#Like you could send a dozen rovers for the price of one crewed mission both mass and money-wise#And that's probably a lowball estimate even assuming more and more advances in rover technology#Which are happening a lot faster than the advances in life support technology#Right now we do not even have enough functioning space capsules at our low earth orbit space station#Starship HLS is a fucking joke#The whole thing reeks let's just stop sending people into space for a while what were we really getting out of it
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'We're in an era of fandoms where people are finally starting to hate really shitty cishet ships'You guys don't even hate Percabeth
#'bi4bi t4t-coded' my ass percy is a tgirl NOT a tboy and annabeth's so weird and creepy about her and MEAN to her nonstop no matter what#including assuming every girl she comes into contact with is into her because she's not cracked🤪sis' internalized lesbophobia goes crazy#ntm the masculinization of percy and feminization of annabeth and the oocification to turn them into wanting a nuclear family and lifestyle#also even base personality wise they complain too much about eachother and don't do anything except bads for eachother's progressions#and i know damn well y'all and luke/gods apologists are the same and a lot of y'all're p*rcicos too.absolutely darksided pussywillows#calling annabeth better than piper/hazel/rachel/alex/silena/drew/reyna is nuts because does she have that's not reduced down to percy?#and excusing everything she does to percy as 'destiny' is self-play because percy's destiny is textually her doom and hated by her for it#it dosen't matter what annabeth was/had been through because percy'd gone through a lot too and never did anything against/to her even once#'listen i don't hate percabeth but-'oh but you have zero problems hating perachel?and you think luke was right and piper was a pick me?#grown ass men grown ass women and grown ass 'fandom elders'.y'all're so performative you don't gotta be riding for mpdg x peter johnson#anti percabeth#percy jackson#perseo jackson#anti annabeth chase#black percy#latino percy#autistic percy jackson#transfem percy jackson#bigender percy jackson#team parent percy jackson#punk!percy#glamrock percy#hero and destroyer of olympus#rr crit#pjo#hoo#tods#cisheteronormativity#abuse cw#summerposting
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Not me adding annotations to a book to make it more accessible for my mom when she will read it
#i am once again complaining about italian translators not adding enough context and explainations in queer non fiction books#90% of non queer people or people who do not speak english don't have enough fucking context to get certain things#i need tranlators to add the necessary context to make these books accessible for everyone#olay surely mainly queer people will read a book about going outside the binary but if we want more people to understand us#we need to add the necessary context to make these things comprehensible to everyone#both those who do not have a queer background and therefore have never see certain words and those who do not speak any english#why the fuck are we assuminng everyone reading this knows english and the linguistic and cultural context between certain words#most people i know do not know one word on english and since it's an italian translation you should make it completly accessible for anyone#i don't want people to read this with their phone in their hands to look for meaninga here and there#i have had this complaint before and i will keep complaining#it's frustrating because this book makes the concept of going outside the binary very easy and accessible and the translation is not as good#also the translation of this particular chapter did a terrible job language wise too so i can't expect much#the concept is there but oh boy do a few sentences look like they have been translated with google#so yep i resorted to making my own notes because i want my mom to read this and understand it without here needing to ask me for context#i mean i want conversations to start but not because of translation reasons if you know what i mean#and it would be very unmotivating to read a book that has too many words you don't know bc the translator took things for grated#cris speaks#i am done complaining for now#the og book is super good tho i am happy i am reading it again after so many years#the---hermit
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Yuma Month: Day 31: Post Game
…for the sake of the world’s happiness.
#Yuma Month 2024#rain code#master detective archives: rain code#rain code spoilers#yuma kokohead#pixeldoodles#my art#the last day…at last#you can tell I’m drained because this art is not high effort XD#but its still something and I didn’t have too many ideas#I sincerely hope to see Yuma again in the sequel if one is made#he is too complex of a character to just abandon y'know?#and I’ve grown TOO ATTACHED to him#never in my life have I been so connected and obsessed with a male fictional character before#he’s truly something else… I love him so much <3#anyway this was fun but I am pretty exhausted#I may take a short break art wise for a while ;w;#I'm still sad I missed 2 days but 29 out of 31 isn't bad for my first daily art challenge#I loved yuma too much to not try it.#anyway yay! we all did it! ...kind of lol.#I really do wish I had a better idea for this but I was too tired...#so have the post game scene horribly drawn in my style#first time drawing the pattern on yuma’s cape PROPERLY#tbh him leaving is a good way to show a finale anyway#I hope we see Yuma again... I truly do.#thank you yuma kokohead for existing 💜#and ty to my bestie Kazin for hosting this fun challenge#what a fun way to spend the month of May :3
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deciding to headcanon that the lighthouse makes people feel Calm and Docile and Relaxed to excuse the fact that more of the companions aren't as mad as lucanis that ANY of this is happening
#I CAN FEEL THE HATERISM IN MY BONES STARTING TO STIR LIKE LYRIUM#for the record. i think the game is fun. and i think it's the most gorgeous game ever made#bar none.#but like................................................................... . . .... ....#ALMOST ALL OF THE WARDENS ARE DEAD. ALMOST ALL OF THEM.#AND ALSO DID IT EVEN MATTER BECAUSE THE BLIGHT WAS JUST#THE GODS FUCKING AROUND AGAIN#i'll be real the least interesting thing abt dragon age has always been the magic to me#i like MAGES. but i think the sociopolitical landscape of thedas + the worldbuilding outside of magic#is the most interesting part for me#i think my biggest problem is that it feels like a dragon age game writing wise#like w companions and quests and banter#but it doesn't feel like the dragon age world#idk. i'm having fun but yeah i think a lot of the general criticisms are weighing on me which#i did not think would happen (tho i've also been in a months long depressive spiral and genuinely have not#enjoyed basically anything and nothing feels real and everything feels like a bad dream so like whatever)#the biggest thing abt dragon age for me has always been like#it has been such a creative inspiration for me in so many avenues and in so many different eras of my life#i've been writing DA fic since i was 17. i started getting mutuals around 18.#that's 6 years!!!!! i've been writing fic!!!#i play like 3 hours of origins or inquisition and wanna go write a bunch of fics#but all my fic ideas so far are about like. Well what if the game never happened and my OCs#met their ROs somewhere else in some way else#which to me ISN'T a good sign.#part of da's staying power to me is how much it inspires me. i don't feel inspired right now#i'm struggling to keep up in some ways with veilguard and also feel like it's struggling to catch up#to itself and the weight of it's own choices#anyway. starting to feel disappointed but like i said months long depression#so i'm repressing it like crazy and might never actually feel or breach that emotion#in any depth. but whatever.
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THE ELECTRONIC YET PALEOLITHIC GARDEN OF EDEN BEARING FRUIT UNTOUCHED BY OVERGROWN MEGAFAUNA OF FUTURES PAST
#i havent posted this though ive had it for like two months#ive been forming some kind of world thats similar to the planet of the apes in a way where the meegafauna never got killed off#and they kept developing into more intelligent creatures#until their society reaches a standstill one day when the garden of eden is recreated i think#initial idea was like electronic paleolithic megafauna#im still plagued by images of animatronicc wooly mammoth thats being annasumingly harvested for flesh but instead of meat found#its only wires#and the line between animatronic and electronic and living breathing flesh and fauna becomes blurred#because i guess animals as intelligent creatures would have a different approach to creating a society#i really just want to draw sabre tooth tigers and more neanderthals#well this one isnt a sabre tooth tiger but i didnt think of that yet#i would imagine the animals would evolve alongside the tech actually unlike humans#theres a word for where humans are evolutionary wise where we no longer evolve#anyway ive been wanting to make more art about being trans soo idk but ill keep twirling the idea round my head i think#as well as the water tower knight#art#traditional art#charcoal#mixed media#furry#sci fi#oc#oc art
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Jack Marsh (2005), Friendship Otherwise - Toward a Levinasian Description of Personal Friendship
#saw carnation lily lily rose by john singer seargent irl today. it was basically at my doorstep all along idk why i never went to see it#it was placed at a corner in the gallery. me and my friend sat down and sketched the paintings of beautiful naked people quite badly. paper#provided by tate britain. she told me about how she couldnt look her boyfriend in the face after a harrowing film about war. when i say the#interview was informal i mean the person who was supposed to be my boss told me let me get you a cider and then he said after#50 years of life he knows people are inherently good and it only takes a little bit of kindness to save this world. he said he tricked#his wife into keeping the baby and then he said he quit his job at a US bank to help people find meaning and in it#he would have liked to find meaning. instead he started climbing with his friends. he said he chews his cigarettes because its a habit from#when he had to hide things from people. the entire time i felt uncomfortable and incredibly enlightened. this is my friends mentor. she has#his pattern of pauses and expletive and penchant for ends-justify-means attitude. i do think im not very clever#but maybe one day i will love you enough to make up for it. i wrote code i dont understand staring at the final error i thought about how#we both thought of how when we're too old to remember the voices of our friends we would like to stand in the pathway of the LHC beam pipe#cut it open and eat light in the freezing cold vacuum (kills you long before radiation will) the invisible puncture wound unfolding dna#back to the start larger than you ever were. you go to heaven once youve been to hell. my friend is in my bed#practicing calculations of eigenvectors by hand and she is uninterested in a visual proof you are uninterested in incompetence#we catch a train this is your kind of burden you tragic hero wincing at that word you only do this because you have to. im the only one#who can. i am a coward in this for the fucking poetry. the visual proofs. the pretty numbers. an architect who was horrible at maths wanted#to be a philosopher and accidentally ended up neck in deep in 70th Error On Visual Studio Code i want to kiss your eyes before we say#goodbye we both know there is no love in the way there should be. I still have your dress in my wardrobe. i hope you make art.#you think im alright head-wise i think you fucking hate me i think ill never be so clever you want me to tell you my idea?#if you wanted more of this world i would have liked to kiss you harder. we cant both be like this. im sorry i cant be with you the whole wa#the love is gone if you have to ask it. his breath catches his eyes feel stiff it is -1.9 kelvin he is near the beam pipe i miss holding#his hand i miss her singing voice i miss his hair and i found the antonym of pain thank you for carrying me home.
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Do you got any examples of your sketches? I like studying other artist’s sketches so I can consume parts of their style like an art vampire lol
swear this has been in inbox for months sorry toast... <crying emoji> thank you... uhhhhh have some rly unfinished ghost story stuff i'll likely never touch again (has been months)
#gist of it all was haha smoke things you could do 2d-specific medium wise#was oddly enamoured at the concept of seeing joey superimposed whenever the smoke of burning obscured jozef. because idea of smoke purifyin#from hao. and also the similar costumes. genuinely so !! at the idea. got a few frames done in colour then gave tf up but maybe i could#be persuaded to render this in grayscale + golden overlay layers for sepia tones. i kinda see it.#was talking to cc when i first got about to this floating mess of an idea abt comic? animatic?? and like. mystery never resolved ig#// for this to work i guess also you would Have to use the specific smoke artstyle i've been using for the ghost story work in which it's#somehow... opaque? yeah. rifts!#ask me stuff???#anyway. sorry again about not getting to asks i am Not Very Good at actively responding to them lately. hope u are doing well#melliotposting moment what do you mean it's almost adamandianniversary again! passing of time..#into the melliotverse#ghost story musical
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i still haven’t written out my 261 metapost but i can’t stop thinking about the stsg subtext in that chapter . the parallels between geto slaughtering the village and gojo slaughtering the higher ups…. the fact that gojo does it right after declaring that he has to “catch up” to geto
#IT’S SOOOOOOO#i will die defending gege akutami’s character writing i’m sorry#i think the shinjuku arc is sloppy when it comes to pacing and some technical fight stuff#but character writing wise it’s SO fucking good it’s so incredible it drives me insane#character writing AND relationship writing#which imo are gege’s strongest points aside from fight choreography#like it just . drives me insane#it’s such an interesting line!!!#he needs to Catch Up to geto. he needs to make a choice for himself not knowing if it’s right or wrong just like he did#he needs to carry through with an extreme action to get the change he wants .#instead of the slow “root cause” method that he himself implemented#(which for the record would have been smarter in geto’s case but for gojo’s goal extreme violence Works )#i also think that on some level it’s like … kinda proving geto’s point?#“you could do it satoru.” he has the power to change the world almost however he wants and he finally used it#at the expense of his own morality and sense of reason. which does turn him into a “monster” narratively i think#i mean . obviously i don’t think gojo killing the higher ups makes him a bad person 😭 it’s a very big deal for gojo’s character though!!#he’s always been capable of cold pragmatism. and he’s always been willing to get his hands bloodied .#but NOT with humans/sorcerers and that’s the really big distinction . he’s not psychotic. he never has been.#i think gojo was probably scared when he decided to go through with it. because it really is him trading a piece of his humanity away#:((((((((((((#aughhhhhhhh gege akutami i love you but when i fucking catch youuuuuuuuuu#anyway i should rlly save all this for the metapost but 😭 i needed to get it out….#ari noises ✩#meta ✩#jjk manga spoilers#jjk spoilers#jjk 261
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Atlantis was really good at creating characters that I didn't even think to distrust when I probably should have. It was so good at lulling me into a false sense of security that on two separate occasions, I fully did not realize until the episodes pointed it out that Zelenka wasn't Zelenka. He was acting enough like himself and being nonthreatening, so I fully didn't even catch that I should have been suspicious
#radek was really good at flying under my suspicion radar because i mean look at him. hes a trust worthy character#i trusted him early on and that never wavered. hell even the not hims were harmless enough#another example of this was it never even occurred to me until after i finished the show that clone carson was made by MICHAEL#and maybe suspicion would have been wise. but nah. i was so caught up in the euphoria of having him back that i trusted#the clone just as much as i did the original#liv watches atlantis#stargate atlantis#radek zelenka
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dentist appointment today and I am so so scared
#theyre going to be soooo mad at me :(#brushing my teeth is like. my main huge struggle hygiene-wise#i dont know it just never became habit and im nauseous so often that imagining putting something in my mouth is hell#ive been doing better lately- mostly because it makes my mouth feel a little better when the teeth hurt#but im so bad at it and have been for years and years#and it's so embarrassing to have to tell a stranger like. yeah I can't do something most 4 year olds have covered
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