#because why would he refuse to turn him?

[awesome-cookies-and-cream]

haha that finale huh

[jamietwat]

Jamie would 100% make Roy a dating app profile sometime after the Keeley rejecting both of them thing to try to help him move on and meet people when clearly he’s refusing to get back out there organically and he’d think he’s being so helpful and generous and the best wingman ever. He’d handpick what he considers the sexiest pictures he can find and put a bunch of shit Roy would never say thinking he’s being accurate and helpful and not even taking the clear opportunity to make a joke account to embarrass him or anything when he easily could have just made fun of him and chosen the worst pictures possible instead

And then he would be SO offended when it doesn’t go well when Roy finds out about it and is not properly appreciative at all

Roy thinks it’s Jamie’s account when he starts showing Roy girls like what do you think of her and asking him way too many questions when Roy has no interest in participating and has no idea why the fuck Jamie seems incapable of swiping without trying to get Roy’s opinions first. Meanwhile, Roy’s giving one word answers at first and then increasingly trying to brush him off when he doesn’t stop and then he’s just flat out like “Choose your own dates and leave me the fuck out of it” and Jamie’s like “Nah, this is your account. You should have a say” and instead of being grateful and appreciative and thanking Jamie for being oh so generous with his time and energy, Roy just scowls at him and growls out “You did not make a fucking Tinder profile for me” and Jamie just smirks and decides now is not the right moment yet to mention that he actually made him accounts on like three different apps because he wasn’t sure which Roy would like best

Roy barks at him to delete it and Jamie’s all whiny like “Come on, I spent a lot of time on these and you haven’t even considered it. Plus, even if you’re not ready to date someone yet, you’d still be less miserable to be around if you at least found someone to shag in the meantime”

And Roy’s like “Delete it. I don’t want a fucking Tinder profile.” And Jamie looks at him confused for a moment and then seems to have an epiphany as he goes “Oh, do you want a Grindr one instead? Hold on a second” and he flips to a different app and Roy’s too busy being baffled by the fact that Grindr is already on Jamie’s phone and that he’s having to sign out of his own account to try to make one for Roy to even stop him before he’s already trying to sign up for a new account and Roy goes “That’s not what I meant. I don’t want any dating app”

And Jamie pauses his typing and turns and looks at him so skeptically and so judgily and suddenly somehow Roy is trying to fight for his life trying to defend why he’s not looking for some random stranger to date or fuck around with

[hexwatch]

I need more Elias Bitchard in my life. I'm already drinking in every ounce of him I can get from the episodes, to fan art and literally all the fan fics. I want to turn him into a smoothie and inject him into my veins(in a completely normal non-weird way). I'm like speed listening to tma just for Elias at this point and it hate him so badly for all that he has done. But fuck me(not really), he's really hot and I love the energy he exudes.

[myreygn]

modern au dad askeladd except he's not an actual dad but this random kid shows up to his house every day and tries to have beef over the closed food store askeladd bought and turned into an antiquarian store. turns out the food store used to be run by the kid's father until he passed away which is very sad of course but also askeladd is not gonna cooperate with some brat that borderline harasses him day by day. only that he can't call the cops because he kinda has a turbulent past and if they find out he's filling his store with stolen goods it's gonna become a huge problem. and note to destiny, the stupid kid finding out is not that great either because now he has to hear it out if he doesn't wanna go to prison and also he should probably learn the demon child's name while he's at it. shenanigans ensue.

[prettyboykatsuki]

i have many many many critiques about wylls story, most of them being about the fact it's just so lackluster in game when compared to other companions which is a shame. because wyll to me is and has the potential to be an even more emotionally compelling companion. and he was early access!! he was so gritty in ea please bring him back larian i beg of thee. the way he was rewritten has stripped him of so much nuance and depth. wyll to me is such a wonderful character to me because of what he represents, which is heroism so down to his core he never gives up on it even when he ought to

his goodwill and nobility are ceaseless. at the center of his story is betrayal trauma, his agency over himself vanished into thin air. mizora turns him into a monster and there is no turning back. he has become the thing he's despised, the things he's hunted for his entire life. and we know so little about that canonically because of the way his story is set up but its hinted time and time again that he struggles with his reality deeply and even that cannot make him turn away from the city he loves so much.

if larian would go back to clean up and fix his story (which im truly praying to god they do) i want them to touch on what wyll must be going through as he continues to try to ground himself and deal with his newfound reality. i want them to touch on the abandonment he experiences because of his father and the inevitable burden his title as blade and hero has on him. because these things obviously compel him, they're hinted at all the time but they were completely stripped of him in final release and its fucking disheartening... larian please im begging you. thats the love of my life. please.

but for now i will do it with fanfiction and gather enough wyll fans to make a fuss about it . peace and love

[whatudottu]

...So yeah turns out I was lying in the tags butch Bulkhead actually gave me inspiration for t-swag Breakdown??? Inspired entirely by big naturals (not that you can tell) I did this in like... 30 or 40 minutes??? Never doubt the power of a butch I learnt that!

Look at this and tell me he’s not canonically trans I swear to god (projecting)

[pepplemint]

I said Knives never tortured anyone in Trimax but I lied he did turn Legato into a pretzel

[lexa-griffins]

How did Lexa react when she found out about Clarke's dick

Okay okay so about this I have thoughts!

Because of the way June has such a view about men being inherently violent and given her trauma, Lexa was taught that their violent ways, especially their sexual violent ways, came from their dick.

Now, being a lesbian like her grandmother Lexa, both never thought she'd sleep with someone with a dick unless there was violence involved. She was sheltered and fed narratives from a deeply traumatized woman, and as much as she sometimes down right hates her grandmother, she knew there was some truth to her view from the life experiences of the women around her and her own father.

So I think Lexa is at first shocked, like a bucket of cold water was thrown on her. Almost like a fear of what being with a woman who she loves has a dick could mean for her - as if Clarke was to end up hurting her for the simple fact of her having a dick.

It's clear from her reaction to Clarke that Lexa might not want to do this with her anymore, and while the reason /why/ is clear, Clarke does try not to act like it affects her.

Their first time would be desperate and slow as well. When Clarke starts getting dressed and telling Lexa it's fine if she is having second thoughts, Lexa feels panicked at the thought of ruining things with Clarke. Not sex, but the idea that now that her and this amazing woman are finally developing their relationship, she is about to ruin it for a trauma that isn't even hers to carry.

Lexa pulls Clarke back to bed and kisses her, apologizing to her about her reaction. Maybe Clarke would have had a different attitude towards Lexa after her reaction if Lexa didn't look so damn honest and vulnerable and so in love with her. Because when Lexa apologizes she never once looks down, instead staring right into Clarke's eyes.

It is different from what Lexa was accustomed with Costia, but Clarke is gentle with her, reminsing her she does not have to do anything she doesn't want to, but Lexa has this burning need to be as close as possible to Clarke. And that kind of surpasses all the things she was told over and over again by her grandmother because even with their relationship just starting Lexa is most sure of something and that is that she loves this woman more than she ever did anyone and that she feels a safety with her she last feel in her mother's arms.

[prismatica-the-strange]

Nope, I'm still crying

[the-cookie-of-doom]

Someday I might write a fic where Chan is Kim's real father, bc I have IDEAS

[pussymasterdooku]

.

[shaykai]

Oooooh I forgot how much I hate the end of Warcraft (ignoring the MMOs I don’t fuck with those djdjjd)

[seveneyesoup]

it’s always nice when whoever the rogue is for a story just does not give a shit about batman. he doesn’t even really factor into their plans, they just have their task they’re trying to do and they’re not worried about avoiding him too much or trying to stop him in any way. “this is his city” he’s literally just a guy. why should they care about him

[weaselle]

i want to talk about real life villains

Not someone who mugs you, or kills someone while driving drunk, those are just criminals. I mean VILLAINS.

Not like trump or musk, who are... cartoonishly evil. And not sexy villains, not grandiose villains, not even satisfyingly two dimensional villains it is easy to hate unconditionally. The real villains.

I had a client who was a retired executive for one of the big oil companies, i think it was Shell or Chevron. Had a home just outside of San Francisco that was wall to wall floor to ceiling full of expensive art. Literally. I once accidentally knocked a painting off the wall because it was hanging at knee height at the corner of the stairs, and it had a little brass plaque on it, and i looked up the name of the artist and it was Monet's apprentice and son-in-law, who was apparently also a famous painter. He had an original Andy Warhol, which should have been a prize piece for anyone to showcase -- it was hanging in the bathroom. I swear to god this guy was using a Chihuly (famous glass sculptor) as a fruit bowl. And he was like, "idk my wife was the one who liked art"

I was intrigued by this guy, because in the circles i run this dude is The Enemy. right? Wealthy oil executive? But as my client, he was... like a sweet grandpa. A poor widower, a nice old man, anyone who knew him would have called him a sweetheart. He had a slightly bewildered air, a sort of gentle bumbling nature.

And the fact that he was both of these things, a Sweet Little Old Man and The Enemy, at the same time, seemed important and fascinating to me.

He reminded me of some antagonist from fiction, but i couldn't put my finger on who. And when i did it all made sense.

John Hammond.

probably one of the most realistic bad guys ever written.

If you've only ever seen the movie, this will need some explaining.

Michael Crichton wrote Jurassic Park in 1990, and i read it shortly thereafter. In the movie, the dinosaurs are the antagonists, which imo erases 50% of the point of the story.

book spoilers below.

In the book, John Hammond is the villain but it takes the reader like half the book to figure that out. Just like my client, John is a sweet old man who wants lovely things for people. He's a very sympathetic character. But as the book progresses, you start to see something about him.

He has an idea, and he's sure it's a good one. When someone else dies in pursuit of his dream, he doesn't think anything of it. When other people turn out to care about that, he brings in experts to evaluate the safety of his idea, and when they quickly tell him his idea is dangerous and needs to be put on hold, he ignores his own experts that he himself hired, because they are telling him that he is wrong, and he is sure he is right.

In his mind, he's a visionary, and nobody understands his vision. He is surrounded by naysayers. Several things have proven too difficult to do the best and safest way, so he has cut corners and taken shortcuts so he can keep moving forward with his plans, but he's sure it's fine. He refuses to hear any word of caution, because he believes he is being cautious enough, and he knows best, even though he has no background in any of the sciences or professions involved. He sends his own grandchildren out into a life-threatening situation because he is willfully ignorant of the danger he is creating.

THIS is like the real villains of the world. He doesn't want anyone to die. Far from it, he only wants good things for people! He's a sweet old man who loves his grandchildren. But he has money and power and refuses to hear that what he is doing is dangerous for everyone, even his own family.

I think he's possibly one of the most important villains ever written in popular fiction.

In the book, he is killed by a pack of the smallest, cutest, "least dangerous" dinosaurs, because a big part of why we read fiction is to see the villains face thematic justice. But like a cigarette CEO dying of lung cancer, his death does not stop his creation from spreading out into the world to continue to endanger everyone else.

I think it is really important to see and understand this kind of villainy in fiction, so you can recognize it in real life.

Sweetheart of a grandfather. Wanted the best for everyone. Right up until what was best for everyone inconvenienced the pursuit of his own interests.

And my client was like that too. His wife had died, and his dog was now the love of his life, and she was this little old dog with silky hair in a hair cut that left long wispy bits on her lower legs. Certain plant materials were easily entangled in this hair and impossible to get out without pulling her hair which clearly hurt her. When i suggested he ask his groomer to trim her lower leg hair short to avoid this, he refused, saying he really liked her usual hair cut.

I emphasized that she was in pain after every walk due to the plant debris getting caught in her leg hair, and a simple trim could put an end to her daily painful removal of it, and he just frowned like i'd recommended he take a bath in pig shit and said "But she'll be ugly" and refused to talk about it anymore.

Sweet old man though. Everyone loved him.

[itslarsyouguys]

Like, you’d think if my husband actually wants me to be happy to spend time with his family and to visit more often, he would do whatever is in his power to make it a decent experience for me

So why is he in a bed in a room by himself and I’m on the floor of our kids’ room with one weird pillow and something that I guess could be called a blanket, counting the hours before I can get up for a dry bowl of cereal (they will cook him a hot breakfast. No we cannot suggest going out to a diner) and continue my streak of never being spoken to or asked questions about myself

[urmomschocolatemilk]

I 🩷 bikers

Biker!Simon who’s tatted uppp. He’s rolling up his sleeves while he rides to let everyone get a look at his muscly arms laced with inked designs because yes, he does want to show off

Biker!Simon who's rolling up next to you at a red light, head turning while he thrums his fingers on the seat under him. He can feel your heated gaze through your window.

Biker!Simon who flips open his visor and lets his eyes find yours. He wants you to know that he sees you staring and he's staring right back at you

Biker!Simon who passes his phone to you with the new contact sheet open on his screen, ready for you to fill out

Biker!Simon who trashes on the TikTok bikers and calls them cornballs but doesn’t hesitate to send you photos of him in a compression shirt and helmet at any chance he gets

Biker!Simon who buys you a helmet before your first date, and takes you home. And no matter how much you beg him that night, he refuses to go above sixty on the highway because he why would he ever put his girl at risk like that?