#because we only get “the one��.. sure enough - nobody wanted to waste the one very specific “fuck” utterance. kids listened.

[inkskinned]

one of the things about being an educator is that you hear what parents want their kids to be able to do a lot. they want their kid to be an astronaut or a ballerina or a politician. they want them to get off that damn phone. be better about socializing. stop spending so much time indoors. learn to control their own temper. to just "fucking listen", which means to be obedient.

one of the things i learned in my pedagogy classes is that it's almost always easier to roleplay how you want someone to act. it's almost always easier to explain why a rule exists, rather than simply setting the rule and demanding adherence.

i want my kids to be kind. i want them to ask me what book they should read next, and i want to read that book with them so we can discuss it. i want my kid to be able to tell me hey that hurt my feelings without worrying i'll punish them. i want my kid to be proud of small things and come running up to me to tell me about them. i want them to say "nah, i get why this rule exists, but i get to hate it" and know that i don't need them to be grateful-for-the-roof-overhead while washing the dishes. i want them to teach me things. i want them to say - this isn't safe. i'm calling my mom and getting out of this. i want them to hear me apologize when i do fuck up; and i want them to want to come home.

the other day a parent was telling me she didn't understand why her kid "just got so angry." this woman had flown off the handle at me.

my dad - traditional catholic that he is - resents my sentiment of "gentle parenting". he says they'll grow up spoiled, horrible, pretentious. granola, he spits.

i am going to be kind to them. i am going to set the example, i think. and whatever they choose become in the meantime - i'm going to love them for it.

[vivwritesfics]

Set The World On Fire

Chapter One

Lando Norris had been incredibly angry when they met. Incredibly angry, but sweet enough to help her. Turns out he just needed somebody to talk to, somebody to be there for him.

He was easy to fall for, and that put her in a world of danger

Mafia AU

1.9K

Series Masterlist

PLEASE READ!!: While this story is a part of the NNTA universe, the reader is no longer Lando's sister. To not spoil how people read NNTA, Lando's sister will not be given a name in this story. She will be referred to, but only as his sister (because it's very key for the plot)

They went on three dates before she worked out who he was. He was attractive, sure, but there wasn't much else to him. On the third date, she worked out what a waste of space he was.

The first instance was when she wolf whistled a waitress. It was disgusting, she was disgusted, and the waitress was definitely going to spit in their food. But she stuck it out, making a promise to herself that she wasn't going to call him after that date.

"Well," she said somewhat awkwardly after they had paid their bill, splitting it down the middle (he definitely had more drinks and the more expensive meal, but whatever. If she had to pay more than she owed to get away from him, then so be it). "Are you still okay to drive me home?"

"Sure thing, babe," he said as they walked across the car park, heading towards his shitbox of a car.

She scrunched up her face at that. Why did he have to call her babe? She wasn't anything to him and she never would be.

He got into his car and started his engine. For a moment she thought he was going to drive away without her, leave her stranded at the restaurant.

She quickly got into the car, kept her small back on her lap as he sped away. Everything was a blur, to the point where she couldn't tell which way they were going.

Turns out, it was the wrong way. The car stopped outside of a building with bright, neon lights. It was near blinding, and it definitely wasn't where she lived. "What the fuck," she couldn't stop herself from saying. "Why are we at a strip club?"

"Relax, baby." There was that word again. "Just come in with me. I'll by you a drink and then I'll take you home."

Yeah, she wasn't moving from the car. Anger simmered just bellow her skin as she fished through her bag and pulled out her phone. The phone she was sure she had charged before she left the house. So why the fuck was it dead?

She was at her wits end. "Well, you can stay here if you want," her date said. "But, uh, make sure you keep the car door locked."

It was the way he said it that had her climbing out of the car with him. She kept a tight hold of her bag as she followed him into the nearly empty club. It would be nearly empty, it was 7pm on a Thursday.

As soon as they were into the strip club, her date made a beeline for the bar. She followed him, out of necessity. After getting himself a drink, he sat himself in front of the stage.

Looking a little like a lost dog, she followed him to the stage. This was his regular spot, this much was clear by the way he greeted the other men around him. "The big boss is here," One of the men said to him. He nodded and looked back of his date, but she didn't hear it.

He smirked. How was the big boss going to act now that there was a woman in the club, one that wasn't working for him. He was known for being an asshole and abrupt when talking to people in his club. Lets just say, nobody stuck around for his friendly demeaner.

Whether the pair could feel the bosses eyes on them or not, he was watching. He sipped his whisky from his private booth at the back of the club as he watched.

She wasn't comfortable, that was for sure. She looked so uncomfortable sat in front of the stage, her eyes fixated on her shoes. She didn't once glance at the girls on the stage.

Lando felt so fucking sorry for her.

But he sat back and watched for just a few minutes more. Maybe they were just stopping in on their way to do something else. He didn't take his eyes off of her though.

They weren't going anywhere. After a good twenty minutes they hadn't moved, and she still looked uncomfortable.

Lando put his almost finished whisky down onto his table and stood up. Nobody would touch it if he left it there, he knew. Not if they wanted to keep their lives. He ran his fingers through his curls, shoved his hands into his pockets, and strode over.

The men sat around her were looking around at the others girls spread around the club. When they spotted Lando they visibly stiffened up and turned back around, facing the stage in front of them.

Lando was noticeably calm as he walked over, something they weren't used to. Normally, when Lando was walking over, it was to throw somebody out of his club. Normally, when Lando walked over, he was visibly angry.

But not this time. People moved their legs out of his way so that Lando could get past them, get to the girl sat in the middle of his club. Nobody looked at him as he tapped the girl on her shoulder.

"Excuse me," he said and she turned towards him, looking up at him. Unlike everybody else in the club, she didn't look terrified of him. "Can I help you, Darling?" He asked, although he didn't quite pronounce the 'g'.

He was... wow. Dressed in a black suit with the top few buttons of his white shirt opened, his blue eyes staring into her own. His skin was naturally tanned and his hair in dark curls. He was gorgeous. Once she saw him, it was impossible to look away from him.

"I don't work here." Why the fuck did she just say that? She hadn't meant to say that, but she couldn't stop herself. If this man was after a lap dance, she couldn't help him out.

Lando chuckled as he shook his head. But it wasn't a proper chuckle, one designed to make her feel foolish. "I asked if I can help you. Are you okay?"

She swallowed the lump in her throat. "I'm just waiting to be taken home."

Again, that wasn't what Lando asked. But he didn't push on the matter. Instead, he offered her his hand. "Come with me to the back office and I'll call you a cab," he said.

She didn't know anything about this man. He didn't look old enough to be the club owner, but he certainly looked rich enough to own a club. There wasn't a lot to lose at this point, she realised as she took his hand and stood up. And, if he ended up being a creep, she could always just kick him where the sun doesn't shine and make a run for it.

In the back office of the club, he offered Y/N some water. She accepted the bottle (which had never been opened) and sat on the couch opposite his desk.

She watched as he called up a cab and gave the company the address. As soon as he had confirmation, he put the phone down and looked across the desk, looking at her. "Bad date?" He guessed.

"Bad date," she answered. He kept looking at her as he came around to lean against his desk. So, she continued speaking. "I wasn't going to call him again after tonight, and I think he knew that," she muttered, resting her back against the couch cushions.

"I don't think I've been on a date in years," he said and laughed to himself. But, again, it wasn't a genuine laugh.

That was when she properly looked at him. His eyes were bloodshot, with dark circles beneath them. His knuckled were bruised and bloody, as though he had been punching at walls. "Hey," she said as she put her bottle of water down. "Are you okay?"

He smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes. Didn't get close. "Just life," he answered simply. But she kept looking at him, the way she moved her head towards him urging him on. "Do you really wanna hear my problems?"

She shrugged her shoulders. "I'm just a stranger in a strip club with nothing better to do but wait. Of course I want to hear your problems."

So, Lando told her. He told her all about the arranged marriage between his sister and another man, something set up by his parents. He told her that his step mother was dead and his father was close, and there was no way to get out of it. He didn't tell her who his family was, what they did, of course. The pretty stranger in his club didn't need to know that.

When he was finished, she let out a low whistle. "That was... heavy. Do you even know the guy?"

He let out a dry laugh. "Yeah," he answered. "Yeah, we know him." But he didn't elaborate.

Suddenly his phone rang on his desk. He twisted his body, picked it up and placed it against his ear. His conversation was quick, just a few words exchanged between both parties. "That was your cab," he said to her. "They're outside."

Picking up her bag and the bottle of water, she walked out of the back office. He had his hand on the small of her back as he gently pushed her through the club, towards the doors.

Just as he had said, the cab was outside. He pulled open the door for her, holding her bag as she climbed in. "Thank you," she said before he shut the door.

He smiled, but this one seemed a little more genuine. He didn't shut the car door right away, instead leaning forward. "If you ever find yourself in need of company late at night, this door is always open," he said as he pointed his thumb back towards the club.

She looked past him, looking at the club. "Will you be there?" She asked, looking at him through her lashes.

He said something quickly to the cab driver and reached inside of his suit jacket, reaching into the inside pocket. He quickly pulled out a small white card and placed it into her hand.

"Call this number first and I definitely will be," he said and went to shut the door.

But she stopped him. "Who am I asking for?"

"Lando."

The car drove off, driving away from the club. She kept looking back at the club, looking back at the handsome man shrouded in neon. He stayed standing outside of the club, watching the car, until it turned the corner and disappeared.

Soft music filled the car. Y/N kept her head against the window as she told the driver her address as he took her home. He didn't try to make conversation, which she was grateful for.

When he stopped outside of her home she climbed out of the car and fished around in her bag for some money. But the cab driver held up his hand. "It's already been taken care of, Ma'am," he said.

"Really?" Y/N asked. How could a strangers kindness stretch this far?

The cab driver nodded his head. "Mr Norris must really like you."

Mr Norris.

Who the fuck was Mr Norris?

Permanent Taglist: @biancathecool @rewmuslupin @prettiest-at-the-party @hellowgoodbye @minkyungseokie @formulaal @darleneslane @hiireadstuff

Series Taglist (OPEN): @millinorrizz @cinnamongirlontv @sainzluvrr @urfavnoirette

[ghostyeyestohide]

Between Us

Pairing: Macrinus (Gladiator II) x Cassia (Plus Size Black Fem OC)

Warnings: SMUT, 18+ (MINORS, SCROLL AWAY), buildup (if you got the attention span of a squirrel, DONT READ), oral sex (f receiving, m receiving), titty sucking/fondling, worshipping, some bisexuality (kissing and handjob from m), choking, some masdom, some edging, dirty talk, praise kink, creampie, age gap, slight voyeurism, cussing, aftercare, drinking, some angst, pregnancy, mentions of violence, slavery, and death, and Non-Canon/Canon (Spoilers if you haven’t seen it).

Summary: After watching the intense fight between Hanno and General Acacius, Cassia is assigned as a reward to Macrinus, in which he takes her away to spend some private time with her.

A/N: Wanted to write because I saw this and Denzel was not only evil as hell, but fine doing it. That’s a generational talent right there. Also, I do apologize if some of this is historically inaccurate or the language is nowhere close to it. I love social studies, but I know my knowledge of Roman History is quite rusty.

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do not copy or repost my work. I do not authorize it.

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Citizens in the Colosseum are going crazy, watching Hanno and General Acacius fight after the latter and his wife, Lucilla, attempted to overthrow emperors Greta and Caracalla to restore an oligarchy republic.

The crowd gets rowdy as the guards, arms with bow and arrows, are making sure they don’t riot during this.

Watching the fight from crowd is Cassia, an arm scarred, tall, voluptuous woman, sitting with her fellow sisters as their owner, Dominus, stands behind them with a stoneface expression.

“Kill him!” said Aelia, one of the girls, with the audience joining in on the cheering.

“All that yelling, yet you can’t seem to bring me more clients.” mumbled Dominus, making her look at him.

“Tell them to be gentle then. Especially to the newbie because they seem to like attempting murder on her.” she said, pointing at Cassia.

“She’s just disobedient. She’ll get there one day.” he said, gently touching her shoulder, making her shudder.

“That will be a cold day in hell.” said Cassia.

“I didn’t waste all that money on you just so you can refuse to do what you got paid to do.”

“It’s not like I had a choice.”

“And guess what? You’re my biggest attraction since I bought you, so you need to give in!”

“Nobody wants to please a bunch of rough, two minute silencers every night!” she replied, going back to watching the fight.

Suddenly, she feels her hair being yanked back, forcing her to look at Dominus’ face, a dark glare expressed over his face.

“You’re lucky we’re in public, but after we leave, you’re on punishment for the night. You get no dinner, just straight to be—“

Suddenly, a metal object strikes him across the face, making him let her hair go. As he looks to see who threw that, two guards stand next to him, holding their spears at him, close enough to stab him.

“What the hell..”

“He said to quit messing with his reward or else.” said the tall one.

“Or what?” he replied, preparing to strike.

“Wanna find out right now?”

Dominus doesn’t say nothing, just puffs out really hard. The guards puts their spears down and walks away, not saying another word to him.

“What do they mean reward?” she asks, looking at him.

“If Hanno wins, you’re someone’s reward for the night. If not…..you’re on punishment.” he replied, getting in her ear.

He goes back to his position, watching the fight with Cassia doing the same, with a bit of fear in her eyes. Who’s the stranger? I’m now a reward? I hope he isn’t like the clients I’ve dealt were racing in her mind as Hanno slices Acacius, making everyone gasp.

“COME ON, ACACIUS! FIGHT BACK!” yelled Aelia, stopping her feet to give him adrenaline.

Cassia giggled, impressed that Aelia finds this very entertaining as she doesn’t get it herself. Sure, the idea of being free sounds understandable, but you have to kill other gladiators? That’s the questionable part.

“Seen that gentleman looking at you over there?” asked Diana, another girl, as she pointed at him.

Following her direction, she looks into the boxes and sees an older, bearded black gentleman covered in gold jewelry, a white dress, and a gold tunic looking at her, intrigued by her beauty. He sends a wink at her, making her blush and look away as the sounds of swords clanging gets louder.

“You know him?”

“Kind of. I know he’s close with Hanno since he trains him and the other gladiators.”

“Ahh. So he’s their owner.”

“Yeah. Very brutal too.”

“Not surprising. They make him money, they better give the crowd a good show.”

“Mmhm. But really…..”

She pulls her close, making sure no one else is listening to their conversation before leaning towards her ear.

“They’re saying he wants to be the next emperor of Rome. He wants Geta and Caracalla out and will do anything to make it happen.” she whispered, surprising Cassia.

“Him? To run Rome? That sounds like a dream anyone wants.”

“And he’s determine to make it happen. And if he succeeds by being selected for the senate, he wants a wife that can grant him a heir so the tradition can live on.”

“How did you find all of this out?”

“Two clients me and Meena were pleasuring at once were discussing it openly. I guess they weren’t expecting whores to understand what they were talking about, but I would be cautious if I was them. He’ll get mad if someone leaks his plans.”

Cassia nodded, turning to resume watching the fight. After a few more swings, Hanno wins, making everyone cheer and boo. However, he tosses his sword and kneels in from of him, refusing to kill him.

“He’s not gonna kill him?” asked Cassia, looking at both men on the ground.

“I guess he’s standing in solidarity with the people.” said Diana, shrugging her shoulders.

Greta and Carcalla, irritated with what Hanno did, orders the guards to execute Acacius by shooting him with their arrows, which they complied, instantly killing him.

Members of the crowd begins to attack some of the guards, staring a deadly riot. To avoid being harmed, the women and Dominus depart from their seats, heading downstairs quickly as the emperors do the same, with Macrinus looking at Cassia one more time before she walks outs.

As they reach the bottom of the Colosseum, Dominus turns towards the women, irritation plastered across his face at the chaos going on in the streets.

“I want all of you to head home safely. Diana and Aelia are in charge of you. Don’t try nothing funny because I won’t hesitate to find you if you’re out here, protesting and rioting.” he uttered, giving each one a stern look.

The woman began to line up as a group, but he stops Cassia from joining them.

“Except you, Cassia. Your winner is waiting for us over here.” he said before walking towards where the gladiators were stationed at.

Cassia bids farewell to her sisters before following him, getting right in front as he directs which way to go.

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Dominus walks behind her as they past a lot of gladiators eating in the dining room.

Each are taken aback by her beauty and figure, with some whistling, some flirting, and some attempts of touching were made, but Dominus’ hollow stare scares them away.

“….do you just love to wait to inform us when you put us as rewards or this is just business for you?”

“Business.” he replied, making her roll her eyes.

As they got to where Hanno was, Macrinus, whose talking to him, turns around, dismissing him. Seeing the both of them, he greets them with a gleeful smile, walking up to them.

“Dominus! Good to see you, my boy! I see you got my reward already intact.” he says, shaking Dominus’ hand.

“Yeah. When she’s behaving right.” he replied, looking at her.

“Fuck you.” she mumbled.

“Excuse you?”

“You heard me. You got those big ass ears for a reason.”

“And who is this beauty?”

“Macrinus, this is Cassia. She’s your reward from today’s victory.” he said, shoving her to the ground.

Macrinus looks at her, very shocked that Dominus tossed her like she wasn’t valuable before sending him a menacing look.

“She’ll accompany you to the celebration and will do anything you request. Just you might have to push her.” he continued.

“And why is that?”

“She’s a disobedient girl. Scaring off clients, cheating me out of money.”

“That’s not true!” she said, irritation in her voice.

Dominus gets in her space, giving her a stern look, which makes her bow her head down.

“Who are you talking to?” he asks, grabbing her face to force her to look at him. “Hm? Who are you raising your voice at?”

“That’s enough, Dominus.” said Macrinus, getting between them. “I don’t need you showing your ass in front of guests now.”

“She was being disrespectful. Someone needs to put her in her place—“

“I don’t give a damn what she did. I won the bet, she’s my reward, and she’ll be with me all night while they’re destroying shit. So, what else can I help you with?” he asks, helping her up.

“I’m just putting her—“

“WHAT else can I help you with? I’m not gonna ask you again and you know how I get if I don’t get an answer.”

Dominus looks at her one more time, before clearing his throat and handing him his bag of jewelry. Macrinus takes it, still keeping his eyes on him.

“I’ll be back at prima noctis hora for her. Make sure she doesn’t harm you, my lord. Ave.” he replied, nodding his head and leaving.

Macrinus watches him leave before turning to Cassia, hopefulness blooming in her eyes. He looks her up and down, taking in a better view of a goddess.

“Cassia, huh?” he asked, taking her hand.

“Yes, sir. I mean, my lord.” she nodded, anxiety growing within her.

“Oh, call me Macrinus. You don’t have to say the title shit while you’re with me.” he says, placing a kiss on her hands.

She blushes, feeling the heat building inside her as she feels the coolness of his rings rub against her hand.

“You sure you don’t mind another name?”

“Only if I want you to call me that.” he smiles, hooking his arm around hers as they began walking.

They headed towards the cells to see Hanno before they depart. As they walk through, he notices the attraction she’s getting, which makes him pulls her closer to him.

“You have a beautiful name, you know?” he asks.

“Now what’s beautiful about having a name meaning metal helmet?”

He chuckles, gently rubbing her arm as they turn into a tunnel.

“While it does mean that here, its means cinnamon in other places. It’s a spice, but also symbolizes warmth, harmony, and abundance. You were meant to be here.”

“So eventually, I could become the wife of a future general or Emperor.” she says happily.

“……I think the last one would suit you really well.” he says, giving her a smirk.

She smiles back as they arrive to Hanno’s cell, where Macrinus tells her to wait here as he talks to him. He enters, with the gate closing behind him.

As she waits, she overhears his plans of taking over Rome, saying their dynasty is no longer needed to run it, revealing that Hanno is the missing son of Lucilla, Lucius.

“And does your new whore agree with what you’re planning to do?” Hanno asks him, making her look through the gate.

“….she probably won’t mind because not only will she be better than Lucilla, she’s bare a heir that will run this place better than your people did.” Macrinus replied, getting up to leave.

“You won’t make it far.”

“Oh trust me. I will prevail with ending your dynasty.” he said confidently, walking out of the cell.

Macrinus looks at Cassia, who stands in front of him very bothered by what Lucius said about her. He brushes her hair out of her face before making out with her passionately, gripping her ass. She moans at the touch, kissing him back. He breaks the kiss, smiling as they both look at Lucius.

“Come on, Cassia. We have a celebration to attend.” he said, walking away and pull her with him.

She looks at Lucius one more time, who meets her eyes from his cell, before turning forward.

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As they walk through the crowd of people, Macrinus and Cassia converse closely, looking at the celebration of Hanno’s win around them and the rioting of General Acacius’s death, clashing with the guards.

Drinking, eating, dancing, loud conversations, music, sales of imported goods, clothes, gold, fire pits, fighting, yelling, and more are seen in the busy streets of Rome.

“Besides being the trainer of the gladiators and dressing well, what else do you do?” asked Cassia, looking at him.

“I provide them food and oil to them and the arm. Something the emperors should be doing instead of replicating everything wrong Commodus did.” he replied, smiling at her.

“Sounds like you want them out as soon as possible.”

“….depends on who you’re asking.”

“Whether it’s true or not….I’m behind it.” she said, whispering the last part in his ear.

“Hm.” he replied, looking at her eyes as he rubbed her hand.

The two continued walking into a secluded area, where they come across a table filled with many varieties of food. from fruits to cheese to meats and different types of bread.

Macrinus sends a nod at a guard before grabbing two plates and pilling his with grapes, meats, some cheese, and bread before looking at Cassio, who waiting patiently.

“You’re not hungry?” he asked.

“Oh no.” she shakes her head. “I don’t really eat or drink. Well, I don’t get fed.”

“Why not?” he asked, grabbing a white wine bottle and pouring it into two glasses.

“Um…” she swallows. “It’s punishment for not satisfying a customer. While Dominus and the girls who completed their tasks get full meals, the girls who didn’t get either the crumbs or nothing. Which is usually me.” she replied, slightly embarrassed with revealing that.

Macrinus laughs, shaking his head as he plates her food with everything, even adding extras.

“Well, around here, you’re not gonna starve. And I’ll make sure to remind him of that since you’re doing all the work that fills his pockets. Got it?”

She nods, smiling a bit as he grabbed the plates, gesturing her to grabs the drinks & bottle as he walked towards a table, with her obliging. Just as she was about to sit, he helps her by pulling out her seat, gently pushing her in before sitting across from her.

“Anything on your plate you wanna try first?” he asked her, watching her scan the plate.

“….what’s your recommendation?”

He smiled, picking up a piece of bread and putting prosciutto and smearing some brie on it. He adds a bit of cranberry on it before handing it to her.

“Tastes pretty good together.” he replied, watching her retrieve it.

She examines the bread before taking a bite, chewing for a few seconds. She takes a few more bites before eating the whole thing, earning a chuckle from Macrinus.

“Was I lying?” he asked playfully.

“No, sir.” she shakes her head. “The sweetness from the cranberry, the flakiness of the bread, and the creamy, nutty flavor of the Brie combines very well together. How does one acquire that taste?” she asks, beginning to eat a little more of the bread.

“That’s my side job when I’m not pushing these men to be the best version of themselves. You give me what I want, I’ll give you what you want, but better.” he replied, sipping some of his wine.

“Were you selected to take the job? Or did you have to fight like one of them to get that and freedom?”

“The first one. I worked very hard to get where I am at today than where I was in my slave days. And it’s not an easy journey.”

“You were a slave?”

“Yeah. When Aurelius was ruling, but this was way before Lucilla, Maximus, and Commodus were born. I can remember the harsh treatments…..the way him and guards demean us…..his greed before his change of heart shit took over him. Almost like he was repenting.” he said harshly, growing angry thinking of it.

“And that’s why you wanna kill Greta and Caracalla.” she said quietly, taking a sip of her wine.

He leans forward, looking at her for a few more moments before pulling him robe back, revealing a branded scar that represents the symbol Aurelius has on his statute.

“Those two are just in the way. And the senate knows it. Hell, so did the general and Lucilla. But my vision of Rome is not similar to theirs. Mines is vengeance for what they did to me and my people.” he replied through gritted teeth.

Cassia traces the scar, softening Macrinus’ demeanor a bit. She looks at him, getting closer to place a kiss on his cheek, making him smile a bit.

“Do what you have to do. They’re making us suffer anyway if they continue to rule.” she said before resuming eating her plate.

He looks at her, scanning all over her body while she eats. The way her mouth moves, her looking around the area they’re in, taking a few sips of wine, and moving onto the next thing.

His eyes fixates on two long-straight scars that starts from the top of her shoulder and ends before it gets to her hands.

“What happened to your arms?” he asks, gently tracing over them.

Her smile drops slightly as she moves them around, the painful memories swirling in her head.

“This is from when I was fighting off a client the first night I was sold to Dominus.” she replied in a hesitant tone.

“Tried to force himself on you?”

“Yeah. Got mad that I wouldn’t give it up easily, so he took a small knife and tried to cut my dress off. Fought back hard and got sliced in the process.”

“And what did he do?”

“Gave him a warning.” she said, shrugging. “The client never came back.”

“So…he got away with harming you….” he said in an irritated tone.

She nodded, looking down. Macrinus’ jaw twitches, hiding his growing flame that is begging to come out and tell him to hunt Dominus down for letting that slide. He relaxes, not wanting to waste their time together.

“Are you pure?” he asks, breaking the silence.

“Oh, no sir.” she looked, laughing a bit. “My husband was my first. And only.”

“…….where’s he’s at?”

“Probably rotting on the battlefield. He died while fighting in it.”

“And they just took you?” he asked with a puzzled look.

“Well. Greta and Caracalla ordered our family to be killed. Accusing them of attempted a coup against them when that wasn’t even true. We didn’t even know he died a few months back until that day…”

“Oh wow.” Macrinus replied, surprised about that information.

“They sent standby to kill everyone, including me. Our parents, his siblings, and his nephew. I managed to escape and hid for a few days until I was caught trying to sneak into a ship to Numidia.” she said as she sipped more of her wine.

“I was chained to a pole with other women in some town and sold to Dominus the next day. Been here ever since and….I guess this is how I’m gonna spend the rest of my life.” she said in a somber tone.

“….how old are you, if you don’t mind me asking?” he asked.

“28. I may be the recent one he acquired, but I’m also the oldest of the girls he has.”

Macrinus nodded, rubbing his hands against hers. He pulls them to his lips, placing kisses all over them while keeping eye contact with her.

“Cassia….it would be a pleasure to heal your pain with taking both of them out and Dominus. And then, I want you as my wife.”

“Damn, I got you whipped already?” she asked, chuckling a bit.

“A woman like you should be living established and relaxed. Especially a woman who can provide me something I want.” he said, kissing over her scar, making her wince a little.

“And what is that?” she asked, her breathing growing a bit loud as he goes a bit higher.

“A heir. A boy or a girl that can continue my beliefs when my time comes to an end.” he whispered, tugging her to come in his lap.

She obliged, carefully sitting where she is across him, wrapping her arm around him neck, gently pushing her breasts into his face. He grins, gently kissing them.

“I can see it.” Peck. “You sitting on the throne.” Peck. “Ass getting thicker.” Peck. “Glowing and our baby growing.” Peck.

He smells her chest, letting out a moan before gently taking one out and massaging it, making her whimper and grip his chest a bit. The coolness of his rings rubbing against her skin arouses her even more.

“These here? Growing bigger, spilling out your top, perfect pillows to lay on? Oh, you’re perfect for me.” he whispered, tracing her nipple with his tongue before sucking on the breast, making her moan.

Cassia begins grinding in his lap, feeling his length growing a bit as he kept sucking, looking at her with hunger in his eyes. He pulls her closer, burying the rest of his in her chest as she throws her head back, mumbling Fuck at the sensation.

A loud thud is heard, making the both of them snap to where it was making the noise. Behind the gates, a group of rioters and guards are clashing, with the guards getting the upper hand.

“Goddamn those rioters!” he mumbled before resuming making out with Cassia’s beats.

Two black men, a young adult and middle aged, walk into the room, heading towards them. Macrinus gently pulls her top up and ushers her off his lap as he gets up, fixing himself.

“Well, well, well. Isn’t it my two favorite boys?” he said enthusiastically, opening his arms up.

The men each hug him, with the young one giving him a passionate kiss. Cassia quietly sits in her seat, continuing to eat and not engage with what she witnessed.

“Alright, alright. Not in front of my future spouse now.” Macrinus said, gently grabbing his ass before pushing him back.

“Oh, we didn’t know we were interrupting something.” the middle aged one said, looking at Cassia.

“She is a beauty, not going to lie.” said the young one, walking over to look at her a little close.

“Don’t scare her, Felix.” said Macrinus, sitting back down in his seat.

“I’m not! I’m just…..taken aback that you pulled her in comparison to you.” he said, with Cassia looking at him.

Macrinus slaps his ass, making him yelp and the middle age one laugh as he sat next to him and Cassia smile a bit.

“Oh, where are my manners? Cassia, this is Felix. And Zeno.” he said, pointing at each one.

“Your boytoys?” she asked, eyeing the both of them.

“On some occasions. Zeno helps me with moving the gladiators from arena to arena as Felix….well, relieves my tension if need to.” he replied, rubbing Zeno’s chest.

“He’s a little stiff.” said Felix, sitting next to her.

“And you making stiffer with your arches.” said Zeno, earning a scoff from him.

“It helps me build myself up. A lot of us have an itch that needs some more attention. You would know, right, Cassia?” he asked, looking her up and down.

“What I’m getting is you get tossed between them a lot.” she replied, earning a smile from all three of them.

“I wanted that arrangement. Thought it would work best to feed both of their needs instead of me and Zeno trading.”

“Would that mess it up with me in the equation now?” she asked slyly.

“Depends on how long you make him last.” said Zeno.

“That won’t be hard. I last a good time!” said Macrinus.

“I don’t know…” said Felix, getting up to walk behind her. “She might be tough to last against.”

He traces her arms before wrapping his hand around the back of her neck, pushing her forward, making her lay across the table. She tries to get up, but he keeps his hold on her.

“Watch it, Felix.” Macrinus said with a stone face glare.

“Don’t worry, baby. I’m just looking.” he replied, rubbing his hands over her curves.

He pulls her back up, examining her features before sitting back down in his seat. He picks up a grape from her plate and brings it to her mouth, waiting for her to eat it. She looks at Macrinus, who’s watching with a vex in his eyes as Zeno’s hand is moving perpendicularly in his lap.

Is he getting hard from watching this?, she said in her mind as she goes back to Felix, who is still waiting for her.

She engulfs the grape into her mouth, slightly sucking his fingers while keeping her eyes on him, making him grunt a bit. She makes a Pop! sound before locking eyes with Macrinus again, who gently removes Zeno’s hand.

“What do you two want? You’re taking up too much of my time with her.” he said, adjusting himself in his seat.

“Lucilla wants to speak to you before her execution goes forward.” said Zeno.

“And the senate wants to know how are the traitors being sentenced as soon as possible.” said Felix.

“They’ll have their answer, and my presence, by nighttime tomorrow. I’ll figure out what I’m gonna do with Lucius later on. Might keep him alive until my heir arrives.” said Macrinus, eying Cassia.

“And Rome will prevail from there.” said Felix, kissing her hand before getting up to leave.

Zeno nods at both before getting and leaving, with Felix following behind. Macrinus gets up, exposing his twitching semi-hard length at her, which makes her gasp.

“What’s wrong….” he asked before looking down and seeing it. “Oh. We’re not there yet.” he chuckled before tucking it away.

“There’s more?” she asked, sending him a smirk.

“Yeah. I tend to work with it a lot.” he replied.

“We’ll see about that.”

“….don’t tempt me.”

A group of moans are heard, making the both of them look around to see where it’s coming from. In the corner of the area, two citizens, a man and a woman, are having sex.

The woman, with her breast exposed and skirt pushed up, is pressed against the gate as the man plunges behind her, constantly slamming into her as their moans and body smacking fills the room in mixture of the chaos outside the gates.

“Guess they wanted an audience in midst of the fighting.” she said, watching the pleasure grow between them.

Macrinus replied with ‘mhm’ before moving closer, kissing her neck before kissing her, rubbing her sides. She kisses back, fighting for more while gently stroking him through his dress, hearing his breathing become erratic.

He breaks the kiss, catching his breath as he rubbed his head against her, who is patiently waiting for his next order.

“Let’s go somewhere private, shall we?” he said, standing back and holding his hand out.

She nods as she takes his hand and getting up. Grabbing the wine bottle as well, he pulls her into a secret hallway and up the stairs.

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He opens the door, letting her walk in. He orders the guards to stand in front of the door, telling them to knock if Dominus or someone else comes looking for him before walking in, closing the door.

Cassia looks around the room, taking in the gorgeous marble floor, black pillars, chairs, and windows with gold accent accessories accompany it.

Walking towards the center, where the pit of fire stands, she looks at the two throne of chairs front and center, admiring its details.

“Wanna sit up there?” he asked, pouring wine into their glasses.

“How often you ask that?” she replied, looking at him.

He chuckles, walking towards her and handing her the glass, in which she takes.

“You’re a very funny woman, you know. But you are the first one to be in here after hours.” he said, wrapping his hand around hers and pulling her towards the chairs.

“Felix and Zeno won’t be jealous?”

“They’ll be fine.”

Cassia and Macrinus get to the ledge before he places her in the center. He backs up, taking in her beauty as she poses, making him smile before taking a sip of his wine.

“You fit perfectly on the throne, my love. The moonlight enhances your diamond essence into this city. Which is why I chose you to be mine.” he said, placing the wine bottle near the chair.

“And do I get anything in return? Besides bringing in a future and marriage?” she asked, drinking some of her wine.

“Your girls can come live here instead of suffering in the streets when I take my position as emperor. Finest access to jewelry they wouldn’t let you touch, fresh food, water, new items, your own housekeepers, and of course….”

He walks up, with her eyes following him, standing in front as he traces her chin, licking his lips.

“Me. Only me.” he added, tracing over her neck.

He feels her breathing stagger a bit as he goes down further and further until he feels a necklace, pulling it up to examine.

“What’s this?” he asked, looking at the garnet pendant.

“It’s a way for him to spot which girls belong to him whenever we go out in public. We each have different stones that represents us.” she replied.

He nodded, tracing his thumb over the pendant. Suddenly, he rips the necklace off, making her gasp. He throws it in the pit, watching it burn quickly.

“Cheap metal and a fake stone. Guess that’s how he sees you girls.” he said, sitting in one of the chairs.

“He’s not gonna like that.” she mumbled.

“I don’t give a fuck what he likes or doesn’t like. You’re not his property anymore. You belong here now. To me.” he said authoritatively.

“What if he refuses to allow that?”

“He’ll back off. Or else, I’ll make him. Permanently.”

“…..you swear?” she asks, looking at him.

“…..on my soul. I’ll take care of him. But right now.” he said, leaning forward.

He grabs her top and pulls it down, exposing her breasts before pulling her into his lap to straddle him, both locking eyes with each other.

“We were in the middle of something.” he mumbled before kissing her passionately, caressing her back.

Cassia moaned at the coldness and scratchiness of his beard rubbing against her face and chest while kissing as her mound gently rubs against his clothed length, feeling him move her hips to apply more friction.

Macrinus breaks the kiss, tracing his tongue over each breast before engulfing one into his mouth like earlier and sucking whine squeezing the other one and rubbing the nipple between his ring wearing fingers, making her wince loudly.

“Fuck, that feels good.” she whispers in an intoxicated tone, earning a grunt from him.

He released her breast from his mouth, rubbing his face against it before trading places: other one is now being sucked on as he rubs the previous one.

“You’re so good at that, you know?” she whispered, feeling him grab her ass before letting go.

He lets out a Pop! sound as he lets go, rubbing his face between both saliva coated jugglers as he looks up in awe, in a daze with her face..

“I can feel you getting wet and I’m only just making out with these beautiful jewels. They never made this far, huh?” he asked, gently rubbing her hips.

“Never. They don’t like building it up, just immediately going after the gold.” she replied, which he nods.

“You have a lot to experience then. Go sit in that chair and remove the rest of your dress for me.” he said, removing her from his lap.

Cassia pulls the rest of her dress down, leaving her in a gold waist chain that is connected to her underwear. She sits in the chair, waiting for his next move as he watches, taking in her curves and plumpness from her thighs, hips, and shoulders.

He gets up, removing his dress and tunic, leaving him with nothing but his jewelry gleaming against his skin as his now full grown and girthy length moves up and down.

He was lying about his size at all, she said in her mind as he got closer and kneeled down, rubbing her face before kissing her, tracing her thighs in process.

She smiled before kissing him back, wrapping her arms around his neck and tracing over his back. She breaks it, catching her breath as he watches her, lust fully consuming him.

“What do you want to do first?” he asked.

“Shouldn’t you be calling the shots?” she replied, tracing over his chin.

“Usually I do. Since I’m the second man crossing over this beauty of land….” as he traces his fingers over her waist chain.

“I think I want to make you comfortable on our first night. What do you say?” he replied.

She nods, earning a peck on her nose as she leans back and opens her legs. He smirked, beginning to place a trail of kisses on her inner thighs, moving closer and closer to her heat before pausing.

“You might have to help me remove these cause I don’t know how, what the hell…” he mumbled, tugging at the underwear, which makes her giggle.

“Here.” she said, bring his hand to one of the clasps and pressing it together, unclamping the underwear.

He nodded, continuing to remove the rest before pulling her underwear off, revealing her glistening essence to him. He stares with hunger, gently placing one leg on his shoulder as he quickly removes his rings.

“Wait.” she said, making him stop in process.

“Something wrong, Cassia?” he asked, a worrying expression on his face.

“No, no, everything is fine. Can you just….leave your pointer & thumb rings on? I like the coolness they give when you touching all over me.” she said, licking her lips at him.

He smirks, removing everything but those four. He leans forward, taking in her luscious core before tracing her slit with his pointer, making her moan a bit.

“All this for me? Oh, you were dying for me to touch you.” he whispers, placing a few kisses around it.

Pulling her a little more to the edge, he pushes her other leg towards her as he licks her slit, making her flinch. He smirks before repeating the motion in a form of making out, making her whimper.

“God, you got a perfect sets of lips.” he mumbled, circling her lips as the mixture of her wetness and his salvia coat his finger.

“Haven’t tasted you for a few moments and you’re getting wetter. You want me to continue, huh?” he asks, looking up at her, who eyes are closed and head is thrown back.

“Please….I miss the feeling of someone making me feel good.” she replied, rubbing her lips on his finger gently.

He didn’t reply, just went back to eating her out, but this time, slurping on her opening as his thumb rubs her clit, making her moan loud. She places her hands on his head, pushing his face further in, feeling his grip on her other leg tightening.

“Sorry. I tend to get a little carried away.” she said, feeling him laugh before a gasp from her comes out.

Macrinus, feeling even more driven, inserts a finger inside, feeling her tightness engulfing him. He curves it, watching her move erratically and whimper loudly.

“Oh, you’re just collapsing under my control.” he said, licking her clit.

“Yes…yes.” is all she could get out as he enters a second finger and begins to plunge them in and out, making her moan even louder.

“That’s right….open a little more for me so he can fit…” he whispers, watching his fingers go in and out as her essence spills down his arm and the chair.

“Fuck….please put your mouth back on her. I feel myself getting close!” she exclaims, tightening around his fingers.

“Whatever you want, baby.” he replied before placing his mouth on her clit, flicking it back and forth as he sped up the pace.

Sounds of her pussy being slapped, her grunts, and his flicking fills the room as the riots continue down below them.

He removes his mouth, looking at her opening as he finger fucks very harshly until her release washes over her. Her moans turning into screams, her body twitching all over, and her essence making a huge mess by squirting all over, making him stare in amazement at his work.

“Fuck, you look good like this.” he mumbled, kissing all over her stomach to her chest to her lips, as she laughs weakly.

“My turn now.” she replied, sitting up straight as Macrinus stands up, stroking himself.

“You don’t have to do this if you don’t want to, you know?” he said, looking at her.

“You think I wanna jump into our session without tasting this first?” she said, wrapping her hand around his length and stroking it.

He holds his hands up in defeat, giving her a wink as she looks at it, mesmerized by its size and girth. All that shit commanding shit he does matches him well.

She traces the tip with her tongue before engulfing all of it into her mouth, hearing him let out an exhale as his fingers run through her hair. She removes herself, catching her breath while stroking the length, giggling to herself.

“You were not lying about you being a lot.” she said, locking eyes with him.

“You handling it like a god..” he replied before reinserting it back into her mouth.

She continues sucking, gently massaging his balls, hearing him wince. He starts picking up his pace, gently hitting the back of her throat. Looking up at him, she bops her head faster, feeling his tip hitting it much rougher.

“Them assholes missed out on this skillful work of yours.” he says, letting out moans.

Then, he grabs her head and begins going at a brisk place, constantly burying her face into his groin as he lets out a few expletives that she couldn’t make out with the fuzzy noise in her ears.

“You like that shit? Old man like me using your throat like you owe me something?!” he asks in a gritty tone, not letting up.

She moans around his length, feeling her chin and chest being coated in the excessive salvia that’s spilling out from his movement, her eyes stinging a bit.

Suddenly, he pulls out of her mouth, making her lean back against the chair. She breathes harshly, recovering from that euphoric moment that happened. He smiles at her dazed posture, looking from her face to her pussy, which is now even more wet.

“Come here..” he whispers, helping her up before sitting in his chair, pulling her along.

He taps her to get on top, in which she obliges. She rub her opening on his tip before lowering herself carefully, wincing as she feels herself being stretched more and more with each inch.

“Macrinus, I don’t think I can take more of you….” she whines.

“Relax. You just have to let the pain pass before I start moving. You’ll feel good real soon.” he replied, moving her hips with his hands.

She moans quietly, wrapping her arms around him tightly as the sensation passes through. He kisses her breasts, sucking on one as he begins bouncing her up and down, plunging into her with each stroke.

“Oh my god….” she whispers in a pathetic tone, feeling his tip poke at a sweet spot.

He smiles, releasing himself from her breast as he speeds up his pace, making her moans come out very pitchy.

“That’s it…..take all of me like that.” he mumbled, slapping her ass few times as she begins riding him, removing his hands and letting her do the rest of the work.

Cassia lets out a few sexual sounds, feeling herself becoming attached to him every time she grinds against the friction and poking he’s giving her. He picks up the bottle of white wine and pours all over her breasts, licking and sucking up the liquid as she moves harder and faster, making him let out a few grunts.

“You’re gonna make me cum again!” she yelps, tightening around him.

Just as she was close to release, he lifts her up, feeling his length thumping very hard as she catches her breath, looking down at her walls clenching. He laughs hoarsely before giving her some sloppy kisses over all, sitting her back in his lap.

“You almost brought me with you and I don’t want that to happen because our night will end super fast.” he mumbled, wiping her sweaty face.

She smiles weakly, nodding her head as she grinds his aching length, earning a few more slaps on her ass.

“I’m not playing, girl.” he said in a dark tone, wrapping his hand around her neck and squeezing it, making her slightly gasp.

“Sorry, sir.” she replied in a pitchy tone, seeing him smile in an evil way.

“It’s okay. Just don’t do that again.” as he pecks on her nose.

“Now go bend that ass over in that chair.” he said, letting her go.

Cassia hurriedly crawls over to the chair, putting her chest on the seat and arching her back so her ass in air, patiently waiting for him to re-enter.

Macrinus examines her body, all sweaty from her movement

“When Rome falls and rises, you’ll be the one standing while everyone is kneeling….” he mumbled, tracing over her cheeks.

“That would be nice, huh? You, me, and our heir being worshipped by these people? Hm?“ he asked, slapping her ass, hearing her whine desperately.

“Yes.” she mumbled, but that earns her another slap.

“I can’t hear you!” he said, smoothing out the stinging.

“Yes, Macrinus!” she yells, slightly moving her hips around.

He gives her a few more slaps, hearing her let out a few cries. He leans forward, pushing her hair out of her face as he gets closer to her ear.

“Please…..” she begged, about to touch herself before he stopped her, locking her arms behind her back.

“Call me by the correct title and I’ll give you what you want.” he whispers into her ear before backing away.

“….yes, Emperor. Please pleasure me again…” she said, breathing harshly.

She waits for his next move, anticipating another slap. Then, he re-inserts himself from behind and begins pounding her, making her moan loudly. His low grunts as he slams aggressively into her fills the room, with him pulling her hair while holding her arms.

“Look at you….” he chuckles seductively. “Taking old man dick from me and enjoying it. That dead husband of yours wasn’t doing you like this, was he?”

“No….no, he wasn’t.” she confessed, feeling him let go of her hair and pull out, just to slam back in her.

Macrinus watches her twitch and make sounds that are so incoherent, it made him pushed deeper into her. He lays on her back, adding his weight on top as he wraps his hand around the front of her neck and pulls her up to his chest a bit, kissing her ear.

“Alright. That’s what I wanted to hear. But now? I want you to cum. Releasing everything all over me and don’t hold back. Got it?” he mumbled, rolling his hips.

“Yes…..yes….yes!” she responded as her release washes over, making her yell and squirt all over him as he continued to fuck her through it, pulling out and watching her collapse to the side, convulsing.

He sits nearby, gently turning her onto her back. He leans over, kissing her chest as she moans quietly, rubbing his face. He gets between her legs and rubs his length between her folds, watching her grab her legs and hold them back, making him chuckle.

“Already know what to do without me telling you. I like that.” he said before inserting inside, hearing her curse.

He wraps his hands around her neck and begins fucking her, going a pace where he is continuously hitting that sweet spot inside her. It doesn’t help that his pressure from squeezing adds onto the copulating tension in the air.

“You ready to be my bride and raise my heir?” he asked, speeding up a bit.

“Me breeding you like this and pushing my babies out? Having them running around Rome and shit?” he continued, not letting up.

“Yes, Emperor…..I’m yours and this body is yours.” she replied, feeling another release building up.

He kisses her sloppily, locking his arms around her as he continue his brutal pace, making her whine and scream as her essence splashes all around. He looks down, watching her grip around him.

“I’m cumming…ugh….fuck!” he yells as he finally releases inside, his load pumping out hasty.

Cassia’s release follows behind, wrapping her legs around him as she twitches underneath, feeling her body release every tense motion in this position.

After a few minutes of recovering, Macrinus gently pulls out, watching her suck the remaining seed in before he got and knocked on the door, asking one of the guard to bring him a bowl of water and some towels.

A quick opening and closing of the door and he’s next to her, squeezing the excessive water out before he rubbing the cooling towel all over her body, cleaning up anything fluids that were there.

“…..do I have to go back?” she asked, breaking the silence.

“When I said I’m silencing him permanently, I meant that.” he replied, helping her sit up.

“Well…..he should be here to pick me up soon.” she said, getting up to put on her dress.

Macrinus nodded, not replying as he put his dress and tunic back on, waiting for a knock from the guards. A few minutes later, loud knocking comes, signaling Dominus has arrived.

“Dominus! Nice to see you again.” said Macrinus as he opens the door and sees the stoneface figure standing.

“Did she comply?” asked Dominus, looking over at Cassia, who’s fixing her hair.

“Yeah. Worn my old ass out if anything!” he chuckles. “But I wanted to renegotiate our deal.”

“Renegotiate?”

“Yes! You see, I asked for her hand in marriage and she is possibly carrying my child, so I don’t think it’s necessary for her to return to you. So, she’s staying with me now and you can go on home..” said Macrinus as he gently pushes Dominus back, but the latter shoves him.

“I’m afraid that’s not possible. We agreed that she was your reward and you was going to break into her. She’s my property and I’m here to take her home so the next clients can get a turn.” he replied coldly, making Cassia stand up.

Macrinus looks at him with an ominous glare, stepping back into his spot while keeping eye contact. Then, he takes out his knife and stabs him quickly, making Dominus gasp and look down.

“And that’s the problem. You sees them as property, not women you should be taking care of if you want business to continue.” he said, pushing the blade deeper which makes Dominus wince.

“She told me how she got those scars on her arm and how your lack of discipline towards the client is why she wasn’t giving in. And giving them cheap necklaces with fake pendants to easily find them? Oh, your niggard ass won’t be missed.” he replied, pulling it out and watching him topple over.

Blood spilling out of Dominus’ mouth as he gasps for air, making Cassia turn away, not wanting to see the rest. Macrinus kneels down and slices his neck open, killing him. He tosses the knife next to him and back ups, turning to the doors.

“Chop him up and send it back to his neighborhood. That’ll send a message that she’s not going back, the women are free, and Rome is going to fall.” he told the guards, walking over to Cassia.

The guards rush in and take Dominus’ body as Macrinus wraps his arms around her and they begin walking, leaving the room.

“You okay?” he asks, making sure she is perfectly fine.

Cassia nods, smiling tiredly as she lays her head on his shoulder.

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Its been three months since Cassia slept with Macrinus, but the promised life of being a wife to the Emperor and raising his children never succeeded.

Following the Senate & Caracalla swearing him in and ordering the execution of Lucilla and some senators to be done by Lucius and the gladiators, which turn into chaos that ended with the citizens, Lucius, and the gladiators turning against them, he successfully executed Caracalla and Lucilla before escaping to stop the army Lucius order to invade and wipe out his own.

She doesn’t know the remaining details of what happened, but all she knows is after Lucius sliced Macrinus’ hand off, he killed him and reunited everyone, swearing on his grandfather’s dream of making Rome united and peaceful to other countries they captured.

The news of his death spread fast and she fell out, crying in the streets, with her sisters consoling her. She stayed in the house, missing meals, and not waiting to talk until she began feeling nauseous, crying a little more, and eating more than usual.

That’s when she knew that she was pregnant with their child. She tried to hide it, but gave up around 8 weeks when her belly started to show and it didn’t help that she was already a plus size girl.

Cassia was sitting in a chair inside her room, planning the nursery when she hears a knock on the door.

“Come in.” she said, looking up.

The door opens and Aelia pops her head in, sending her a smile.

“Hey. I hope I’m not interrupting anything.” she said, creeping in.

“No, just figuring out things for my child. What’s going on?” Cassia asks.

“I know this is sudden….but the emperor is here. And he wants to speak with you.” she said quickly.

Rage instantly lights up inside Cassia, who tries to get up but Aelia stops her, trying to calm her down.

“I know this is not what you want to hear..”

“You let my husband’s murderer into this house without asking me?!” yelled Cassia as she pushed Aelia, who is not giving up.

“It was unexpected! He just…showed up and walked in, asking for you!”

“Well you tell him to get the hell out and never return or else!” Cassia said, shoving Aelia back hard that she bumps into the cabinet.

“Or else what?” a familiar male voice said.

Turning to the voice, Lucius stands in the doorway, watching everything she did. Cassia stares back at him with a glare, wanting to harm him but knows she can’t do much since anything that can be used as a weapon is far from her.

“Aelia, you can leave us.” he said, walking closer.

“She’s not going anywhere and you don’t bark orders around here.” said Cassia.

“Cassia….just talk to him.” said Aelia.

Aelia bows in front of him before leaving, closing the door behind her.

Tension fills the silence as Lucius walks around, taking in her room before looking towards the curtained window, which has sunlight peeping through.

“….What do you want?” asked Cassia.

“I remember you, you know.” he replied, looking at her.

“So? I have a familiar face around here.”

He laughed quietly, walking towards her.

“I meant I remember you from the day General Acacius was executed. After that. You were accompanying Macrinus and sat outside the cell when we were talking.”

“Oh right. The day you couldn’t bring yourself to killing your stepfather who got your wife killed during the capturing of your land.” she said coldly.

“He apologized.” as he sits in front of her, with her covering her baby bump.

“He didn’t know I was my mother’s missing son. I spared his life for her.”

“And look what it got you? A dead mother.” she scoffed.

“Nothing you say hurts me, Cassia.”

“Who said it’s about hurting you?”

“Well, I know you’re only reacting like this is because of Macrinus.” he said, staring at her.

She laughed evilly, moving a bit in her seat as she leans forward.

“You clearly know nothing about me. You lost your mother and wife? I lost everything because of you and your dynasty. So whatever you’re here looking for, you’re not gonna find it. So, emperor, please leave.” she said, leaning back into her seat.

“I know. Kidnapped after your husband died fighting for Rome, your family accused of trying to steal the throne and being executed, being forced in selling your body so the man who bought can eat, and losing a man who promises a new Rome after you two made a baby out of love…” he said, trying to touch her stomach.

Cassia slaps him very hard, anger inflicted all over her face. Lucius smiles, feeling the stinging grow as he looks at her, slightly turned on by her deviance.

“I can never get my wife back. Nor my parents. But what I can do is help someone out. And someone who is perfect to sit next to me as I lead Rome into a new era. That someone is you, Cassia.”

“Oh, go to hell, Lucius. This city is not gonna take kind to you not only having a big black curvy woman for a wife, but the widow of the man you killed and their son? Not gonna happen.” she replied.

“You think I care? This city made up lies that I was a product of incest between my mother and her brother. You weren’t his wife yet and this is a child out of wedlock. Which is a very common thing around here.”

“I’m not taking your offer. So please go.”

Lucius nods, getting up to walk out. However, he picks her up to her feet, making her step back in fear of what he’ll do. Instead, he drops to his knees and rubs her belly before placing his ear to it.

“If you’re expecting some motion, I’m not that far along.” she said.

“They’re planning to charge you.” he confessed.

“……what?” she said, a puzzled expression on her face.

“I’m aware that Dominus wasn’t very kind to you because most clients couldn’t make it past kissing. But I don’t know what happened to him the night he gave you to Macrinus as his body was….in pieces when they found him.” he replied before getting back up.

“I didn’t kill him! He did. And he told the guards to chop him up! I swear I didn’t touch him.”

“Do you have proof?”

Cassia stares at him, wanting to say no but she knows she didn’t do it. She begins hyperventilating, making Lucius help her sit down and coach her through breathing exercises until she was back to normal.

“…..I didn’t do it!” she exclaims, busting out in tears.

Lucius confronts her, letting her cry it out against his chest. She sniffles, feeling her become numb from her constant crying.

“They can’t take my baby away from me for something I didn’t even do!” she said, looking at him.

“That’s why I’m asking you to join me. I can protect you from execution and being charged, you just have to go along with it. Your girls can come and this will all be forgotten.” he said, leaning forward.

“At least do something that he promised he would give you.” he whispers, rubbing her face.

Lucius kisses her face before walking out, closing the door behind him. She looks around the room as the option lingers in her mind.

Stay here and go to prison with possible execution or go live in the house with your love’s killer and raise your child keep playing as she rubbed her belly. Every fear, tear, anger, and thought riled inside her up until the last moment of her final decision.

Cassia opens the door and walks to the living room where Lucius and her sisters were chattering and eating. She stands in the doorway as his eyes looked at her, silencing the room.

“Everything okay?” asked Diana.

Cassia walks to Lucius, who turns to her in his seat. She stands in front of him and kneels, hearing everyone gasp around the table.

“Emperor Lucius……I take your offering to be your wife and build Rome back up. Like your grandfather wanted.” she said, tears streaming down her face.

Her sisters cheered as Lucius watched, a smile creeping along his face.

🜲 🜲 🜲 🜲 🜲 🜲 🜲 🜲 🜲 🜲 🜲 🜲 🜲 🜲 🜲 🜲 🜲 🜲 🜲 🜲 🜲 🜲 🜲 🜲

A/N II: I am unfortunately no longer doing the Exotic Travelers series as I’m going into smut retirement again. But I had fun coming back for a bit.

Taglist: @delusioniste @onehalfshrimp

[batneko]

Okay I was trying to come up with a sugar daddy bowuigi AU and I ended up spending so much time thinking about the setting that this is gonna be another long one

So! It's modern day, big city. I prefer to think of it as still a world full of magic and mushrooms and monsters but if y'all want to picture this as a human AU feel free. In this world instead of a king Bowser is the third-generation owner of the biggest demolition company in the city. They took a slight dent lately because Bowser doesn't exactly get along with the city planner... but the company is still best in the business and not hurting for work.

Then there's the Mario brothers, who run a tiny independent plumbing company and by sheer coincidence have a phone number exactly one digit off from Koopa Demolition. They're good at what they do but because they can only take at most two jobs at a time they sometimes struggle. And they can't cut costs (any more than they already have) so the only leg up they have on the competition is promising to be faster than anyone else at the same price. It means they have to work a lot harder (and will definitely backfire sooner or later) but right now they're doing pretty well. Reasonably well. They're doing okay.

Having nearly the same number as a different business means that occasionally both groups will show up somewhere thinking they're about to negotiate a contract only to find out they just wasted their time and gas money. Hard feelings build up. Once, when the bros actually managed to convince a building owner to replace the lead pipes instead of tearing everything down, Mario and Bowser very nearly got into a physical fight. (It doesn't help that Mario is dating Bowser's ex though neither of them will admit that's part of it.)

And then one night Bowser goes back to a demo site to check on something, ends up getting hurt, and Luigi happens to be working late on a job nearby and comes to his rescue. He insists on accompanying Bowser all the way to the hospital, and while he's waiting with him mentions that it turned out to be a good thing the van broke down because if he wasn't walking back to the subway he might not have heard Bowser cry out. Bowser asks how Luigi is going to get home now, since it's so late the subway isn't running anymore, and Luigi says "I'll... I'll figure something out." Bowser calls one of his people and makes them give Luigi a ride. It's awkward for everyone.

The next day a tow truck shows up to take the Mario Bros' van to a mechanic. They're like "we didn't order this??" and the driver just says it was paid for in advance. Luigi realizes what happened and, thinking about the bad blood between Mario and Bowser, tells him the client last night was really grateful for him working late. Mario says they should thank him and Luigi says he definitely will.

So he goes to see Bowser, who is still laid up with a broken foot, and brings him a fruit basket. Bowser is like, I will absolutely eat this fruit but fixing the van was supposed to be payment for Luigi's help. He doesn't like feeling indebted. And Luigi says it was too much! There must be something Luigi can do to thank him properly.

Well... there's this stupid local businessman dinner that Bowser really didn't want to go to. Having somebody to talk to will make it more bearable. Luigi says sure, and the day of the dinner Bowser picks him up two hours early to go out and buy him a suit. Top to bottom, shoes and all. Luigi is a little offended Bowser didn't think he had nice enough clothes... but once they get to the venue and see what everyone else is wearing he can admit he did not have nice enough clothes.

The dinner goes well. Luigi IS a local businessman and nobody questions what he's doing there, even if they haven't heard of his company. Talking with Bowser is surprisingly easy, especially since plumbing and demolition have enough overlap that they can chat about work without having to explain much. They have a lot of similar gripes about clients and contracts and tools.

After a pretty nice evening and maybe one too many glasses of wine, it's all too easy to forget this wasn't supposed to be a date-date and fall into bed with Bowser. When Luigi gets home, rumpled and dressed in clothes he didn't leave in, Mario just congratulates him on what looks like a successful night.

A few days later there's a delivery. A brand new set of the power tools Luigi had mentioned he daydreamed about. Luigi calls Bowser and says this is too much, he can't accept it, and Bowser just says, "keep 'em or throw 'em out, I'm not taking them back. Already wrote them off as a business expense."

Luigi keeps them, but he can't explain this one away. He tells Mario that the person he went out with last week is... from a different socio-economic bracket. (Mario is not allowed to judge, Peach pays for most of their dates too.) They both avoid using the S-D words, but Mario says he feels too weird accepting work equipment from a stranger. Better tell the guy to stick to personal gifts.

So with something like brotherly approval, Luigi starts dating Bowser. He gets clothes, a new phone, fancy dinners and nights at expensive hotels. Bowser is not a bad date (except for when he is) but Luigi always feels a little weird knowing that their relationship is transactional. Even though Bowser clearly likes him and wants to make him happy, Luigi feels like he can't speak up about Bowser being demanding or talking down to people. Because if he's not agreeable enough Bowser will just find somebody new.

Meanwhile, Bowser has NO IDEA that Luigi thinks this. Somewhere along the line he got it in his head that his affection is a burden. He hasn't thought about this enough to put it into words, but he feels like he needs to reward people for being around him or they'll leave. He's not even trying to be a sugar daddy, he treats all of the (few) people he loves like this.

It's not until they've been dating long enough for Luigi to meet Bowser's son that anything changes. Luigi immediately sees that Bowser is pulling the old "new toys make up for not actually being around, right?" and can't stop himself from telling him that NO it does NOT make up for it. Your son wants your TIME.

He's extremely surprised when Bowser listens. And after Luigi tells him that asking Junior about his day and his hobbies will make him feel more cared about, Bowser starts making an effort to ask Luigi those things too.

Eventually he starts to think that... maybe? Bowser has just been romantically incompetent this whole time? So he tests it, and the next time Bowser tries to demand he take a week off to go on a boring business trip with him, Luigi (calmly but firmly) says that he can't possibly miss that much work but Bowser can call and talk to him every day. Bowser goes for it. He actually seems really excited that Luigi is "allowing" him to have so much of his attention.

Oof. Now Luigi feels bad.

After a couple more weeks of trying to wean Bowser off buying his affection (except paying the phone bill because Luigi seriously couldn't afford to do that himself) Luigi asks Bowser if he can officially call them boyfriends?

Bowser practically falls all over himself to agree. Everything is good, they understand each other, Luigi even has his own section in Bowser's closet. He could see this relationship lasting for the rest of his life.

Now he just needs to figure out how to tell his brother...

[blakeswritingimagines]

Dear Y/N

To my beloved,

You are mine and mine alone. Everything about you, the way you smile, the way you speak, the scent of your skin, belongs only to me. I will do anything to protect you. I will hunt down everyone who looks at you, every man who thinks they can take you from me. Nobody will come between us, nobody. You are my one and only, my obsession, the air I breathe. Your every move, every word you speak, every breath you take are all mine. I will do anything to keep you to myself. The very thought of losing you drives me insane, it makes my blood boil. I will tear down anyone who dares to lay a finger on you or even looks in your direction. You are mine, body and soul, and I will never let you go. The thought of you in the arms of any other man makes me crazy. I want to lock you up, away from the world, so that I will be the only one who can be near you. I can’t bear the thought of someone else touching you, looking at you, or speaking to you. You belong to me, and only me. You are my everything, my obsession, my entire world. I would do anything to keep you by my side, and I will never let anyone else even think they have a chance with you.

I watch you constantly, wherever you go, wherever you are. I make sure that you are safe and that no one is bothering you. Anytime you speak to someone, I analyze every word, every nuance, to make sure they have no ill intentions towards you. I know everything about you, your every move, every thought in your head, your every desire. And I will fulfill every one of them, just for you. I want you to only think of me, to focus on me and only me. I want to be the center of your world, just like you are mine. I follow you everywhere you go, I keep a close eye on you, just to make sure that no one else gets too close. I will not hesitate to eliminate anyone who stands in the way of our love, no matter who they are. I want to watch you all the time, every second of every day, I want to keep you safe, I want to know where you are at all times, I want to be the only one you think about, the only one you desire. You are mine, I will never let anyone or anything get in the way of our love. I would kill for you, I would die for you, I would do anything to keep you by my side. I want to be the only one you talk to, the only one you touch.

I am consumed by you, my every thought is about you, and my every action involves you. I can’t go a single minute without thinking about what you’re doing and who you’re with. I need to know where you are at all times, I need to be able to see you and hear your voice. I am obsessed, completely and utterly obsessed with you. It’s like a drug, I can’t get enough of you. You are my addiction, my fixation, my everything. Every moment we’re apart is agony to me. I obsess over every second we waste not together, every moment I can’t hear your voice, touch your skin. I long to hold you in my arms, to feel the heat of your body against mine. You are like a drug to me, an addiction I can’t shake. The thought of being with anyone else is unthinkable because there is no one else for me but you. I love you, and I only want you, forever and always. I want to control every aspect of your life. I want to decide who you speak to, who you interact with, who you even look at. I want to mold you into the perfect partner for me. I will be the only person you think about, ever. You will spend every waking moment thinking about me, dreaming about me. I will make sure you can’t even breathe without thinking about me. You will be mine, and mine alone, for all eternity.

I will never let you out of my sight. I will always be there, watching over you. I will be your shadow, your protector, your everything. You will never be alone, you will never be out of my reach. I will track your every move, I will know exactly where you are at all times, who you are with, and what you are doing. I will make sure that you are always safe, and always protected. You will never be able to escape me. You will always belong to me. I will tear down every barrier between us. I will break down every wall you try to build. I will strip you of every illusion of independence you might have, and make you completely dependent on me. I will take control of your heart, your mind, your body, your soul. I will make you understand that you are mine, and mine only. You will forget what it means to be your own person. You will become mine, in every possible way.

I don’t think you can comprehend the depths of my obsession, my darling. My love for you is all-consuming and uncontrollable. It is like a wildfire, burning hotter than any flame. I will do anything, I will be anything if it means you are mine.

Your ever-loving obsessed, Hanzo Hasashi

[v-anrouge]

Just a general analysis of like yi how he would act and stuff

A lot of people seem to think vil is a narcissistic self obsessed asshole who would give ppl eds and insecurities and shit and like as someone who is hyperfixated in him and has read about every content of him available in eng server that i manage to get my hands onto it's just one of the biggest mischaracterizations of vil. his words are always meant to be of encouragement when he criticizes something, his words are rough because as a child that was the way everyone talked to him, he was a young boy thrown in the modeling world and the acting world, and although it was (half) by his choice, having a famous dad he was born in front of the cameras. it's very clear that vil masks and barely shows his emotional side and you can see that this has been going on for YEARS because as a child when he is beat up by a group for being a villain in a movie he didn't cry and just stood up and insulted the kids , a contrast to how he vulnerably asked his father for reassurance on wether or not he was a villain also in his overblot flashback. vil has said it himself multiple times but whenever he assigns a self care routine and a diet to anyone it's always with the best intentions in mind, he doesn't give them a diet so they can lose weight, and he would never, we know that because in his overblot he confessed how much he hated the diets he put himself through but couldn't help it because he was desperate to be seem as beautiful, to finally be enough. vil is a very insecure man, a type of insecurity that is hidden from anyone that doesn't know his heart, and trust me, very little people know his heart. he's not one to trust others easily and once again that probably has to do with the industry around him and people probably trying to ruin his career. vil is an extremely caring and protective person, he takes care of everyone in his dorm and the people outside of it, and he recognizes the value potential and strength in everyone, and he will comment on it when he sees someone with so much of it and wastes it all by never trying, we can see that in multiple times but ill highlight his moments with leona and how he comments on it because he, unlike many in the school, recognizes leona is amazing and extremely talented (id also like to point out leona and vil are extremely similar and have extremely similar trauma just ended up coping w two opposite extremes (leona not trying and vil trying too much)) he is shown to even stay awake late at night to make sure everything is going right with each of his students. a lot of people seem to have the misconception that vil's overblot was caused out of envy for a casting of a simple movie but the truth is the roles were never the problem, it's not like vil has a problem with villains, what he hated is that he only got villain papers because no one ever saw the worth in him to be a hero, no one considered him good enough or fit for the role and would constantly cast all his hard work and passion aside in favor of someone else's (neige's) see how it is? it's never about the actual roles in a movie, what vil craves is validation, is admiral, is being truly loved for who he is, is to have his hard work be seen and recognized and cherished, is to for once in his life not be a second best, that's why he says n his overblot, that for once all he wanted was to stay in the stage until the curtains fall, all he wanted in life, is to be able to stay, and not be thrown away once something better is found to replace him

since you write for x reader im assuming you'd like to know how he'd act with a lover so; vil would even more caring over his lover, constantly checking in on them and fussing about little things in order to make sure they're taking care of themselves and treating themselves right the way they deserve to be treated, for vil to fall in love it takes A LOT of trust in that person so rest assured you'll see sides of vil that nobody but his father have ever seen before, you'll need to be patient because vil has a lot of issues to work through but if you stay by his side, hold his hand and encourage him to better himself like he always did for others vil swears on his own name you'll be the happiest person to ever exist

[the-bonfires-ember]

ive been thinking about that thing people say about mental illness. yknow, 'its not a part of your personality' 'dont make it your identity' etc

but when you have a personality disorder, that doesnt really make sense anymore.

which makes my feelings on cluster b pride flags a little conflicted. coz, sure, it is fundamentally a part of your personality and certainly shapes your identity, but something about pride flags has always been off to me. perhaps especially as a person with aspd.

now, sure, on the one hand i get it. theres something appealing about having that kind of validation that you arent alone, especially when you are constantly masking and shifting who you are to fit the situation best.

we might have antisocial personality disorder but we are still, at our core, social creatures. we still desire community, we're just also afraid of it.

so yeah, a banner of community and others 'like us' seems fair enough, right?

BUT

theres still something... off to me about it. what it was, exactly, only came to me after a discussion with my partner about DID and PluralKit - yeah i know, im diving into plural drama now, lfg i guess

they showed me an infographic about the process of DID recovery which showed the progression from very disconnected and separated identities to a more blended 'final fusion' (a term they take issue with but thats a different story). i said that PluralKit must be confusing for people on the later ends of the spectrum they were showing me because, at that point, how do you tell who is blending with who? when the lines are blurry, how do you know who to tag yourself as? it seemed like an inhibitor to recovery if you were constantly cutting yourselves off from each other. (this is not me saying anything one way or the other about plurals and recovery in DID or whatever the fuck else, im just using this as an example. stfu i dont care about your opinions on any of this so dont waste your breath)

i think my feelings on aspd flags is somewhat similar. coz i mean, they are pride flags, right? and i think if you are taking pride in being aspd then you are far more likely to lean into your symptoms, and i think thats a slippery slope to go down and has just a very 'anti-recovery' vibe, if you know what i mean.

with that all said, i also very much think that if you dont want to recover, you dont have to. i dont think you can force anyone to recover and i dont think you should even try to. recovery is fucking shit and its hard and if you arent ready for it, you are just going to hurt whoever you are trying to make recover.

but i also think that you can have that opinion, whilst also being a voice for recovery, and be against 'anti-recovery' thinking.

because look, like it or not aspd is a fucking disorder. and at some point that becomes unhelpful or it wouldnt be a disorder. symptoms of aspd are debilitating and pretending otherwise that helps nobody. especially with all the 'all pwASPD are evil' scum out there.

so yes, i think the pride flags are... unhelpful at best and harmful at worst. but what about the other stuff? the creatures alla tbh creature and the plushiedreadful rabbit? (i think both of those designs suck btw but thats not the point)

idk those feel like they are in a different category. theres not really a sense of pride in those, more a sense of comfort. again, community, but also a sort of softness(??) that the pride flag things seem to miss - especially when they are like 'vampire aspd' or 'evil aspd' or any of the other bullshit things ive seen out there. i guess they are also just way more 'mental illness' coded than pride flags are.

pride flags have always been a 'we're here and theres nothing wrong with us' kind of thing. but the creatures and the bears are more lighthearted and sort of making fun of the conditions a little bit. highlighting symptoms and coping mechanisms. just look at the imocreature - specifically the worm one which is my favourite - and the way its able to be so pathetic looking and cute. its not meant to be cool or badass or whatever else, its just a lil guy that gets sad without supply.

which, yknow, relatable.

[jaztice]

Avoiding the Locked Door Dilemma, a.k.a. TTRPG Advice That Nobody Really Asked For

So, if you’ve played a TTRPG before, you’ve probably come across the following problem. Someone is attempting a task (say, opening a locked door) that, if not completed, will bring the story to a screeching halt. The momentum of the game hinges on a single die roll. Success? Your story continues without issue. Failure? The path ahead is closed to you, and to continue, you must pick your way backwards and find another way forward.

It’s pretty unsatisfying for players when they try to do something, fail, and then… nothing else really happens. As GMs, how can we avoid this situation arising?

I’ll tell you how: STOP ROLLING FOR EVERY SINGLE ACTION!

Or more politely put: I’d suggest you consider all the elements of a situation before calling for a roll to be made.

What I tend to do (and this may work for you too, or it may not, this is an opinion piece so whatever, grain of salt etc etc) is consider the following three things: how much TIME they have, the TOOLS at their disposal, and their TRAINING (or talent, or whatever) with what they want to do. Here’s how it works.

Let’s say your player is trying to get through a locked door and has decided to pick the lock. If they have 1) the training and/or talent to pick locks, 2) the right tools at their disposal, and 3) plenty of time, DON’T MAKE THEM ROLL. Just let them do their thing and continue on with the story.

Likewise, if the player has decided to pick the lock and has NO training or talent with that ability, NO tools to do it, and NO time to figure out how to do it, DON’T MAKE THEM ROLL. Just automatically fail them or say they straight up can’t do it. Yes, you can do that. Saying no is an important skill, GMs. Learn it.

But when, might you be asking, DO you ask the players to roll? Well, when they only have SOME of those three things! The more of the things they have, the easier their roll should be.

Let’s say your player trying to get through a locked door has the training/talent AND the tools to do so, but not the time. A guard is rounding the corner and will see them if they can’t pick the lock fast enough. NOW you make them roll, because there are stakes! There’s not only a condition for success, but also for failure. If this player fails, they get spotted by the guard. Having conditions for BOTH success and failure moves the story forward and keeps things engaging.

Similarity, if a player doesn’t have the training/talent to pick locks but DOES have the tools and plenty of time, have them make a roll as well! The failure condition, however, should be appropriate to the situation. If they fail, maybe the lock picks break inside the door with their attempt, or they waste valuable time and now they can hear someone in the hallway heading towards the room they’re in. If possible, make the failure conditions clear BEFORE rolling, or at least allude to them. If someone doesn’t want to risk it, they should be able to back out beforehand.

The same thing applies if your player only has one of the three, though the stakes and difficulty of the roll will likely be much higher. If a player skilled with lock picking has no tools and very little time, they probably won’t be able to pick the lock. BUT… they might be able to hide in the room so they aren’t seen. Be sure to make it clear to the player that their suggested approach to the situation likely won’t fail or is outright impossible. That way, they can understand the appropriate risks involved and make an informed decision.

And this doesn’t just apply to locked doors! If your players are at a fancy gala and want to seduce one of the nobles, think of time, training, and tools! Is this noble popular or busy? Their time is probably limited, and so is the seduction window of opportunity. Is your player wearing fine and well-fitted clothes? Then they have the right tools for the job! Is your player well trained in the art of seduction and manipulation? Maybe, maybe not. Whether or not you call for a roll should always be relative to the situation at hand, but make sure there are always stakes for success AND failure.

In summary, stop making your players roll for every little thing. Consider time, tools, and training. Make rolls MATTER.

Happy gaming!

[reel-fear]

If you want my opinion, I think we should give Lone Wolf the benefit of the doubt, yes it does look a little bit cheap in some areas but the game does look pretty fun and both the art and characters are still on point. Alice and Sammy are also returning so that’s a plus! I think it’s best that we stay optimistic for this game and Bendy’s future.

That's fair and I respect your opinion, I think my thing is I'm worried people are too optimistic about Bendy's future games being better than the ones they've already created because the team behind Bendy is very anti-listening to feedback. Which means it's likely these games won't improve unless fans make a bigger push to be more critical of them and show the devs they won't spend their money unless the team can prove they care about this franchise and aren't gonna let the polish drain just because it makes more money.

I criticize Bendy not because I want it to die or be bad, I only do it because I hope one day either 1. A competitor rises up and gives the fans essentially a better version of Bendy that they deserve and they can use my feedback and others to see where it can be improved. or 2. The bendy team listens to my feedback and the general fandom's to make future games better. Plus generally get their act together.

As it stands the trailer is rushed and cheap, which is bad because a trailer for a game should be the most polished part of the affair. I mean this is what is supposed to convince people to buy the game when it comes out! I had the same problems with The Cage and I'm unhappy to see this becoming a pattern. [I mean that's a game I'm even more confident is going to horribly crash and burn cause I honestly don't know why'd they make a midquel to a game which everyone hated the ending of-]

Look. I understand some people feel a sort of loyalty to the Bendy devs, it's hard not to feel like you're in some sort of friendship when it comes to such a small indie team. But at the end of the day you have to remember defending them when they mess up only gives them more reasons to ignore feedback and most of all you don't know Mike or Meatly as people outside of what they Choose to show in their public image. So when the public image they've crafted is one that's bad and leaves people worried about how the games they're making are gonna turn out. Nobody can be blamed but them. And if you really care about them and/or Bendy it's better to boost feedback even if it's negative.

Like sure Sammy and Malice are returning but look at the treatment they got in Dark Revival! Meatly and Mike have never addressed how poorly done the original characters were in that game and I think it's cause far as they're concerned it was perfectly fine and people are complaining about nothing. [That or enough people didn't seem to care for it to matter to them whether that point was valid or not] Despite the fact Sammy was shot down for a gag after finally speaking up [and was in a ton of Dark Revival marketing material] and Malice was nothing more than a rip off of her chapter 3 self with no interesting changes, we never got to hear her thoughts on how the world is doing, on how she feels now hearing her enemy, the ink demon, was supposedly killed, or on Wilson, the keepers, etc. I mean it was a huge waste and with the promise Sammy will be 'restored to his Chapter 2 glory' I want to call this poor writing out now rather than wait for the cage to come out and pretend I never saw it coming.

Criticism is a good thing for Bendy, we should embrace it rather than shunning or discouraging it. I hope most of us can agree on that. Even if I seem harsh, I would rather lean towards that, than risk going too easy with my words and being ignored by the devs.

[bitter-panacea]

Goultard's backstory, comparing the Dofus manga and the special episode Part 2 - Falling in love

Part 1

The special ep and the manga are the most different when it comes to Goultard falling in love.

The most notable difference is that Goultard falls in love with one witch instead of three. Certainly because they thought Gou having three girlfriends/wives at the same time wouldn't be politically correct enough for a short film meant to be showed to french tv channels as a way to prove Ankama had what it takes to make a tv show (Wakfu).

In the manga, Goultard goes after a trio of witches, the dark sisters, who keep stealing food from their village and causing chaos. He's not really interested in stopping them, really he's just charmed and intrigued... (maybe he's kinda fascinated... and wishes he could be free like they are idk idk maybe who knows)

Kiki : Alright girls, I've got everything we need... Let's go!

Guy : Well, Goultard? What the hell were you doing? These three witches ransacked the whole village! And you didn't even lift a finger!

Goultard : I... I don't know, I wasn't myself, they must have cast a spell on me... / Guy : A spell? My ass. You're losing it! Talk about a hero... You're a pervert, that's what you are!

The way this guy talks to him like he's a completely useless imbecile really proves Goultard's only respected as long as he does what people expect him to do...

So he throws a large boulder the size of a small boulder at them, making them drop the bag of stolen food.

Kiki : Listen little peasant, we don't want to hurt you. Give us that bag and you'll leave safe and sound. / Elvie : Pretty cute for a little peasant.

Goultard : Shush... A small demonstration is better than a long speech...

Kiki : You think we're impressed, you pretentious macho? (Still... A tree with only one finger!) Let's see what you can do againsnt our magic powers!

Dark sisters : Take this! / Goultard : I wonder which one is the cutest...

They insult him, make fun of him, threaten and eventually attack him... and I guess that totally does it for Goultard. This is also exactly what Algathe did before he fell in love with her, so I'm pretty sure that's just his type.

Goultard : Now, you've really gone too far... You've burnt all my clothes off! (Gou like "teehee oops i'm naked lol ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ " )

Kiki : It's impossible... No man can resist our magic! / Elvie : Seems like he can.

Goultard : Now, may I give you some advice? / Kiki : Keep your advice and take this!

Goultard : Please, don't make me hurt you! / Kiki : Ow, my arm. Where does this strength come from?

Goultard : No idea, I've always been pretty sturdy... Now, if you'll excuse me... I believe this bag of provisions must be returned to its real owner. See you later, girls! (omg nobody look! he's ass)

Ah yes... No creature could resist Goultard, whether monstrous or feminine... / Kiki : What a guy... / Elvie : I'd like casting a love spell on him.

They dont ever say it, but you cant make me believe that these three "single" witches, who people call "sisters", (who lived together secluded from "respectable society"?) and did petty crimes together, weren't all dating one another. Goultard was just the latest addition to their cute little polycule. Thanks to his idiot rizz. And supposedly huge dick (If Elvie says so I believe her)

Elvie : Oh! Now that's what I call a magic wand!

His dick pictured here, here and here (pictures kindly provided by @dj-m0th thank you lmao)

( ＾◡＾)っ✂╰⋃╯No!! you leave that thang alone!!

In the special episode, the unnamed witch initiates the flirting with Goultard.

She IS very cute even if she doesn't seem mean like Goultard usually likes.

They dont waste any time getting to know each other. As shown here by this VERY subtle broom riding illustration.

In the manga, the relationship takes a little more time to develop.

Thus, after a few months, the relationship between goultard and the dark sisters grew friendlier. They first began by repairing the damage they had caused and helped Goultard to fend off the most aggressive monsters.

Over time, the three sisters and goultard became more intimate / Kiki : Take your finger out of there, naughty boy...

Looks like they're having fun. Good for them, good for them....

His wedding was magnificent and thousands of warriors came to pay homage. They were even surprised to see some former enemies arrive during the ceremony.

(Cabotine isn't there, is she dead?)

Life went on and Goultard was the happiest hero in the world. / Monster : Goultard, you little worm, come taste my balls... / Goultard : Stay in bed, girls, I'll be back in five minutes... (He'll be back right after tasting this dude's balls I guess)

They had many children and lived happily ever after

They have four children, three boys and a girl. Riri, Fifi, Loulou, what the fuck is the daughter's name oh my god (Fun fact : Riri, Fifi and Loulou are the names of Donald Duck's nephews in french)

Goultard's family is what he cherishes the most in the entire world. He truly loves that simple domestic lifestyle....

And this is it! Happy ending! No looming threat in the dark and certainly no part 3 to this post.

Part 3 Part 4

[cosmicjoke]

Part 2 of the Psychological and Emotional Impact of Levi’s Early Childhood:  How Levi’s Years with his mother weren’t Idealic:

So some of the conversations and additions to my post about Levi’s childhood got me thinking and focusing a little more on one, specific aspect of it, that I wanted to delve into here.   

Again, it’s interesting, because, as we know, Kuchel was a loving mother toward Levi.  She clearly loved him and, at risk to herself, wanted and kept him.  Something which undoubtedly made her own life exponentially harder, when obviously it was already incredibly difficult.  I also talked about how this decision had an aspect of selfishness to it, though, as she knowingly brought Levi into a situation in which he would also end up suffering a great deal.  I want to reiterate that this isn’t meant to be taken as a criticism of Kuchel or her love of Levi.  It’s just a stated fact. 

Kuchel clearly struggled to take care of Levi.  The fact that Levi was at death’s door when Kenny found him is testament to this reality.  All the love in the world wouldn’t have been enough to provide the basic necessities a growing child requires.  Levi was in a state of extreme neglect.  He was starving to death.  He was filthy.  He was barefoot and completely alone, with no sign at all of anyone having come by even once to provide help, and no sign that Levi ever left to seek help.  It was pure luck that Kenny came by when he did and was able to rescue him.  If he hadn’t, Levi would have surely died.

So what I wanted to get into here more specifically is what it tells us about Levi’s upbringing with his mother, that he was left in such a state, and why when Kenny found him, it was obvious that Levi was totally isolated, that nobody came by to help him, and that he also, apparently, never left their room to find help.

What that tells me is that Levi likely never had any real social interaction outside of his mother.  That his isolation may have been so extreme, in fact, that nobody outside of their home even knew he existed.  This seems supported by the fact that Levi was socially inept when Kenny first meets him.  He barely speaks, almost to the point of muteness.  When Kenny talks to him, Levi more often than not says nothing, just stares at him with shuttered eyes.  Kenny describes Levi as “cold” or “unfriendly”.  Levi is also constantly looking at Kenny.  He rarely seems to take his eyes off of him, which could indicate a wariness of him, which, given the sort of life his mother was living, and given where they were, the Underground, makes plenty of sense.  Levi would be wary of strange men. 

Given these details, it seems likely to me that Kuchel, in the least, kept Levi as isolated and alone as she could manage, and that she likely did this out of a desire to protect him from the dangers of the Underground.  It seems likely that she kept him in their room and rarely, if ever, let him out.  Again, probably because she wanted to shield him from danger.

But as we see, there was a price to pay for doing something like this.  Not only was Levi maladjusted, but when his mother was dying, and Levi was left to starve to death, Levi seemingly didn’t know how to ask anyone for help.  Now it’s possible Levi might have tried finding help, and nobody listened to him.  I wouldn’t find that surprising either, given the environment they were living in.  The Underground is a cut-throat, dog eat dog place, where very few people can afford to help anyone else, given the general, desperate circumstances most down there find themselves living in. 

Whether Levi sought help and was turned away, or he didn’t seek help because he didn’t realize he could, and also because nobody ever came by to help either of them, either way, this would have, tragically, affirmed for Levi that neither his nor his mother’s lives were worth anything to anyone. 

I assume it took a long time for Kuchel to die.  She was completely wasted away by the time Kenny found her, essentially skeletal in her appearance.  Part of this could have been because her body was decomposing.  But the fact she’d been dying from disease would have obviously ravaged her body, too.  Levi would have had to witness this slow, no doubt agonizing deterioration for who knows how many weeks or months.  That alone would have been horrifically traumatizing for him, especially given his own, general helplessness.  And in all that time, nobody ever once, we can assume, offered them a helping hand, offered them food, offered them money, offered them medical assistance. 

It’s interesting to consider too that Kuchel must have known that she was dying, and that without her, Levi would surely die too.  She had no way of knowing that Kenny would come by when he did, or that he would come by at all.  She hadn’t seen him, I’m assuming, since before she gave birth to Levi, since Kenny didn’t even know Levi’s name when they met.  So what does this tell us?  That Kuchel knew she was dying, and that without her there to take care of him, Levi would die too?

One might think Kuchel, once she realized her case was hopeless, would attempt to hand Levi over to someone else to care for him.  But clearly that didn’t happen.  There could be a million reasons for this.  Mainly, I would think, Kuchel didn’t trust anyone she knew enough to actually care for Levi, or that she simply wasn’t close enough with anyone to feel confident in her ability to ask them to care for her child, and that gives us a pretty good idea of what Kuchel’s relationships with other people in the Underground were like.  We can assume from this that she didn’t have any close friends, and in turn, we can assume that neither did Levi.  I would go so far as to say Levi probably didn’t have any friends.  I don’t think he ever had any real, meaningful interaction with other children, even.  Again, remembering Levi’s social ineptness when Kenny finds him, how withdrawn he was, seems to support this.  So from all of this, I think it’s likely that neither Kuchel or Levi ever got much social interaction, or had any, real social lives to speak of.  I think we can clearly see the ill effects of this in Levi throughout his entire life.  He’s famously very socially awkward.  He doesn’t really know how to express himself in words.  People often mistake him for being apathetic or rude or unfriendly because his face isn’t generally very emotive, and he often speaks in a monotone.  This in itself is it’s own kind of tragedy, because at his core, Levi is actually exceptionally compassionate and kind.  Levi’s social difficulties would also have obviously been terribly exacerbated by the way Kenny raised him after Kuchel died. 

But going back to the way Kuchel raised him, I think it’s fair to say that she kept Levi very isolated, and that she herself was probably very isolated too, and so we have to think about how this bleak reality likely impacted Kuchel’s own ability adequately care for Levi.

Again, going back to the state Kenny found Levi in, it’s obvious that something went very, very wrong in Kuchel’s ability to take care of her son.  It’s obvious that she was struggling severely to provide for him, once again not from lack of effort, but because of the desperate circumstances of their lives.  Food, clothing, shelter, warmth, etc...  We see those things were clearly not being provided to Levi on a consistent basis.  He was dressed in rags, some type of garment that was too large for him, and might be supposed to have belonged to Kuchel herself, meaning she couldn’t afford to buy him anything better.  He was barefoot, meaning she probably couldn’t afford shoes for him.  His hair was uncut and unwashed, as was the rest of his body.  They were living in what appears to be a single room with next to nothing in it.  There’s a single bed which Kuchel occupies, some pots and a pitcher for water I’m guessing, and that’s about it.  We see no toys.  We see no books.  We see nothing of any comfort or luxury.  There’s no other obvious rooms attached to the one they’re in.  No bathroom or washing area.  No doors leading anywhere else but outside.  And finally, Levi clearly hadn’t eaten anything of substance, or any kind of full meal, in a long, long time.   And he was completely alone.  So we see that, in the end, Kuchel, despite her obvious and genuine love for Levi, wasn’t able to take care of him.  Obviously Levi’s deteriorated state when Kenny finds him is a direct result of Kuchel herself falling ill, and she no doubt did her best when she was still able to work to provide for him these basic necessities.  But it’s also still obvious that it was always a struggle.  They had no money, and that’s plain.  They were living, very obviously, in abject poverty.  And already living in such a dangerous, cut-throat environment, where criminals and predators were able to openly roam the streets without consequence, since the above ground authorities rarely ventured down there, a lone mother and her very young child would have struggled all the more to survive.  With such a poor financial situation, their day to day lives must have been incredibly precarious and uncertain. 

But I’m also not just talking about providing the bare life essentials when talking about Kuchel’s struggles to take care of Levi.  Going back to Kuchel’s own seeming lack of social interaction or dependable friends, one has to consider the psychological impact of this on her, and how that in turn would impact her relationship with Levi.  Being a mother is a hard job.  It’s hard enough even in the best of circumstances.  Taking care of a helpless child that is in constant need of love, care and attention is incredibly draining and time consuming.  We often hear people joke about how mother’s should be paid to be mothers alone, because it’s such a consuming job. 

Now, you take the general difficulty of that job, and you amplify it with the sorts of difficulties and bleak realities Kuchel and Levi faced, things like abject impoverishment, a lack of any sort of real social life or friends, constant fear and paranoia of ones surroundings, the ever present reality of being surrounded by criminals, and Kuchel’s own day to day life working as a prostitute, and you start to really realize just how bad and difficult their lives together must have been.

Kuchel wouldn’t have had any sort of outlet, or escape, from the harsh realities of her day to day situation.  If she had no real friends (again, something that seems almost certain when considering everything else), then we have to assume whatever downtime she had from selling her body for money was spent with Levi and Levi alone.  So after hours and hours of being forced to let strangers have their way with her and use her body for sex, which we can pretty much guarantee also involved plenty of physical violence against her, Kuchel would then have to come home and take care of a young child who needed to be fed, clothed, washed, paid attention to, etc, etc...  all things Kuchel was clearly struggling to provide.  I don’t think the mental and emotional toll this sort of existence must have had on her can be exaggerated.  She had to have been exhausted, both physically and mentally.  With no one outside of a young child to talk to or interact with, she must have been deeply depressed and often felt incredibly alone.  Those feelings would have only been worsened by her struggle to provide enough food and shelter and warmth to keep them both alive.  They would have only be worsened further by her need to constantly be vigilant and protect Levi from the many, many dangers of the Underground. 

My point with bringing all this up is to show that it’s unlikely that Kuchel, in these circumstances, would have been able to provide Levi, not just things like food or clothing or warmth, but a healthy social environment.  It’s very, very doubtful that Kuchel would have had the time, or the energy, or even the mental capacity, to be able to give Levi the kind of love and attention she would have under even slightly better circumstances.  Realistically speaking, she was probably simply too tired at the end of each work day to really play with him, or spend time with him in any meaningful way.  She was probably too exhausted to indulge in any sort of wants or needs of his outside of immediate essentials.  Assuming Kuchel was often depressed (which I don’t think is at all a stretch or unlikely, again given her own isolation and the ugly reality of her life), that would have also impacted how she interacted with Levi.  Children aren’t stupid, they’re intuitive, and we know Levi in particular is maybe the most emotionally intelligent character in AoT.  He would have picked up on her depressive moods, and her general unhappiness, I’m sure.  He would have felt that negative energy coming from her. 

Going back to Levi’s maladjustment when Kenny finds him, to his muteness and wariness, his “cold”, “unfriendly” demeanor, I think it’s safe to assume that these problems in Levi were a result of not just the incredibly harsh circumstances of his life with his mother, but also came from Kuchel’s failure to provide Levi with enough stimulation to teach him social skills.  Again, please remember, this isn’t meant as a criticism of Kuchel or her love for Levi.  I don’t want anyone to think I’m trying to cast doubt on those things.  Again, it’s just to highlight and draw attention to the fact that, despite that love, Kuchel still wasn’t, and frankly couldn’t have been, a perfect mother to Levi.  Their situation just simply wouldn’t have allowed for it.  And so I think it’s realistic and fair to assume that Kuchel failed Levi in certain ways. 

Levi wasn’t okay when Kenny found him.  Again, not just based on the fact that he was literally dying and in a state of extreme neglect, but based on the fact that he was clearly a child who had never learned to be social.  He was strange. He didn’t act at all like a normal child his age might.  He was deeply withdrawn, almost mute, he never smiled or laughed, he was wary, probably from having been taught to be afraid of men, listless and resigned.  None of this speaks to a child who is well adjusted or who received a lot of love and attention.  He doesn’t demand attention, the way most children do.  Instead, when Kenny finds him, Levi is curled against a far wall, just waiting to die, quiet and accepting.  Think about this.  He wasn’t crying, he wasn’t making a fuss, he wasn’t even visibly upset in any way over his situation.  He was just resigned to it.  He didn’t beg Kenny for help when he came, or even talk to him, except to tell him his mother was dead, and after being promoted multiple times, to tell him his name.  Levi didn’t demand or seek attention, even from the first person to show up and offer help, likely because Levi was taught through example not to expect attention.  And once again, this isn’t a criticism of Kuchel, but an acknowledgment of the likely reality that she just didn’t have the time, energy or ability to give Levi attention beyond providing for him the bare minimum required to keep him alive. 

Levi’s state when Kenny finds him, not just physical, but his emotional and mental state, suggests a certain amount of neglect in Levi’s life from his mother. 

So again I posit that this general perception in the fandom of Levi being provided plenty of love and care from his mother in the first, few years of his life is idealized in the extreme, and fails to acknowledge the harsh reality of their lives and circumstances, as well as fails to acknowledge the state Levi was in when Kenny found him.

I say all this, and think it’s important to acknowledge, because I don’t think Levi is given enough credit for making himself into the man he would eventually become.  Very often, the credit is solely given to his mother, and sometimes even to Kenny (really don’t get that one), for Levi turning out to be a kind, caring and compassionate human being.  But in my opinion, in the face of everything we know, this belief doesn’t hold water.  It doesn’t account for just how bad off Levi was, not just physically, but mentally, when Kenny took him in. 

There’s always the question of nature vs nurture, and I’m always of the mind that how a person turns out is more a mixture of the two than any, single one.  And certainly, we see parts of Levi’s personality which have been shaped by the way he was raised, both by Kuchel and Kenny.  Levi’s social awkwardness, his blunt, sometimes rude interactions, his anger and violence, his fear and readiness to act in the face of that fear, etc... all these things were no doubt informed by Levi’s experiences growing up.  And yes, I’m sure that part of Levi’s ability to love and be loved came from his mother.  But not all of it did.  Levi, from seeing how his mother was treated, from seeing the negative results of the life she was living, not just on her, but on him, would have been sent the lesson early on in life that neither of their lives were worth very much to anyone but each other.  From Kuchel’s inability to really take care of him, Levi would have undoubtedly questioned his own worth, not because Kuchel didn’t love him, but because he would have picked up on how his existence was a burden to her, how it made her life harder, how she in turn wasn’t always able to provide him with a great deal of warmth or affection, because it was already too much to provide him with basic necessities for staying alive.  Levi knew not to expect a lot of love or attention, and that tells us an awful lot about Levi’s life with his mother.  He doesn’t throw a fit or complain when Kenny takes him in and starts treating him harshly.  He doesn’t whine or demand love when Kenny starts teaching him how to use a knife, or how to “greet people” (ala, beat the shit out of them).  He doesn’t show any expectation from Kenny at all, let alone an expectation for love and affection from him.  Every panel we see of Levi with Kenny shows Levi standing there, mute and listless, simply accepting of his new situation and the new way in which he’s being treated.  He just... takes it.  This isn’t a child who’s been taught that he deserves better.  This isn’t a child who expects to be treated with kindness or respect or gentility.  This isn’t a child who is used to getting his way, or who expects to be paid attention to.  This isn’t a child who expects much of anything at all.  Again, the fact of Levi’s immediate acceptance of the way Kenny treats him tells us a LOT about what his life with his mother was like.  He wasn’t spoiled, he wasn’t treated as special, he wasn’t given an excess of attention or love.  If he had been, that would have made itself evident when Kenny took him in and started treating him the way he did.  And once more I reiterate, this isn’t meant as a knock on Kuchel, or to cast doubt on the love she had for Levi.  It’s just a simple acknowledgment of certain facts.  When Kenny leaves Levi, Levi just accepts that as well, though obviously it hurts him immensely.  He doesn’t chase after Kenny, or beg him to come back.  He just stands there and watches him walk away.  He just accepts that he’s being abandoned.  Again, this isn’t indicative of a child who has a particularly strong sense of self-worth or importance, or a child who was taught to fight for his right to love.  He was taught to fight for his life by Kenny, sure, but he was taught the exact opposite regarding other people’s lives in turn.  And we know, bizarrely, from how resigned he was to his own death after Kuchel died, that Levi’s experiences in the first years of his life with his mother didn’t teach him to fight for or value his own life, though I’m sure that isn’t what Kuchel ever intended. 

And so when we take this all into account, when we take into account that Levi wasn’t ever really taught to value or fight for his own right to love and compassion, or even life, how he wasn’t taught to even expect those things, on top of which, taking into account how he was taught not to value the lives of others through Kenny’s lessons, and then you reflect on how, DESPITE all that, Levi was open enough to make, on his own, his first, real friends in Furlan and Isabel, to form an actual family with them, and to make more friends after they died in Erwin and Hange, how he fights with everything he has to protect the lives and dreams of others, how he has so much deep compassion and care for others, how deeply affected he is by the deaths of others, how hard he tries to keep everyone around him alive, how much he values life, values the lives of others, and their right to life, you realize how remarkable that really is.  You realize that nothing in Levi’s life growing up can really account for that ability to care, or that deep compassion he holds.  It comes down to his nature.  Levi is just an innately caring, kind and compassionate person.  Rather than inheriting that ability from Kuchel’s example, I would rather say Levi inherited that ability from Kuchel’s nature.  He wasn’t taught to be loving and compassionate.  He just was.  And so was his mother.  Both of them maintained that capacity despite their horrible circumstances and experiences, not because of them.  Just like how Levi and Mikasa are innately loyal, Levi I would say is also innately, inherently kind and compassionate.  Some traits of our personalities are just inborn, not taught.

I think Levi deserves so much more credit than he generally receives for being the kind, caring man he is.

[inkskinned]

the problem is that being single is seen as the consolidation prize, and not the natural neutral state of being-a-person. at the end of the movie or the book or the poetry, there is a person waiting for you at the altar, and they love you. if the play is a comedy, everyone gets married. the metaphor is about how you are not-whole. the metaphor is about how everyone is going to be happily-ever-after. the metaphor is that romantic love is the most important resource on the planet, not just all-love. all-love is not a thing, that is a disappointment. the treasure is not the friends we made along the way. the treasure is the girl you landed.

the metaphor is that you cannot be alone, that means you are broken. are you getting over someone? that is acceptable, you can be getting over someone, but not for long. you must be single because you would rather not be single. you must be single and looking to not-be-single. you must want to date, eventually.

friendship and community are never seen as being equal-to or even-better than romantic connection. that person is your one! you need to find them. you need to hunt through the sand particles until you can shift out some kind of gem. this is regardless to your own experience of the beach and the sun. you need to be somewhere with someone.

if you are taking this time alone to heal, that is so sad. everyone gives you this little pitying look. the understanding is that you are not actually happier than you were before you were single. it is seen as a sort of pity - oh, you are choosing yourself, making yourself the priority? - that isn't quite right. you must mean that you are making yourself ready for the right person. you are just laying the bed better this time. open up your heart. you'll find them, we promise!

what do you mean you're really-truly genuinely-very happy? you are probably misremembering what it was like to be in a relationship. and besides, once you meet your person, that time will look grey and bland and wasted. your person is the only way for you to see in color. so what if you have taken this time - for the first time in your entire life - to actually-for-real do the fucking work. you can be proud of yourself, sure. but the way we need to know that you got better is that you get a partner. you're healed enough for the next bad part!

people don't choose to be single, they just say they're choosing to be single - they actually mean "nobody wants to date me." it doesn't matter how many people you have gently rejected or how many times you've talked it over carefully in therapy. what matters is that you are single, and by all accounts - that means you are something worth our pity. your successes and life all seem pale in the sunlight. sure, you have done amazing things and finally found your way in life. what matters is that there wasn't a person in the room with you while you did it.

you want to tell them - that's the whole thing. i didn't know how to be alone in the room. i didn't know how to handle the silence. every moment was so sharp, and i kept choosing the wrong way to close the door. i have spent my entire life in the empty well, living in the ricochet of someone else's cruelty. for once i have built myself a ladder. for once everything i taste is all mine, every bite of sunshine and laughter. i have learned how to sleep out in the open with my memories. recently, they have started to purr.

your father rolls his eyes. listen. this isn't about you. i just want a grandchild in my future.

[noya-noya-noya]

one of my favorite things about the whole buddie dynamics is the fact that while Buck is healing and beginning to choose himself (armchair scene) there's still a part of him that thinks he's only going to get love by risking his life, and that his life IS expendable. an "if I die, that's fine, but i sure would be sad if someone else dies" mentality.

it reminds me of that one line in inochi no kirawareteiru "Frankly, we don't care a bit if we, ourselves died but we'd be pretty said if the people around us died".

and Eddie... Eddie has been assuring him consistently that he is cherished, he is important, and he gets him out of his head when he's starting to spiral.

1...

Buck: I just, I wish I could- Eddie: Fix it? Buck: Yeah, yeah. I know I'm the guy who always wants to fix everything. Eddie: Hey! It comes in handy when you have a bunch of holes in your wall.

2...

Buck: They never wanted another kid. They just had me for parts. Defective parts, as it turned out.

Eddie: Hey, that's not on you.

3...

Eddie: I'd eat a couple extra slices. You look like you're wasting away to nothing.

Buck: Eddie--

Eddie:I will say, honestly, you being laid up is working out for me. I mean, you're no abuela, and you're half a Carla, but you'll do in a pinch.

Buck: You want me to watch Christopher?

Eddie: It's easy. He's not very fast.

Buck: After everything that happened?

Eddie: A natural disaster happened, Buck.

Buck: I lost him, Eddie.

Eddie: No, You saved him. That's how he remembers it. And now, it's his turn to do the same for you.

Buck: I was supposed to look out for him.

Eddie: And what, you think you failed? I failed that kid more times than I care to count, and I'm his father. But I love him enough to never stop trying, and I know you do too.

Eddie: Buck...there's nobody in this world I trust with my son more than you.

Eddie: Thank you for not giving up

4...

Eddie: Are you hurt? (shooting scene)

5...

Buck: Now, listen, I had an entire fire truck fall on my leg, and hey, look at me now.

Eddie: *shakes his head*

Carson: That sounds horrible.

Buck: No, horrible was the blood clots you get after. Mine was in my lung. I was coughing up blood. And they put you on these blood thinners and...

Eddie: Buck.

(I always saw this as Eddie shaking his head because Buck was making fun of what happened to him and not because Buck might scare Carson because Carson wasn't really that scared anymore at that time)

6...

Bobby and Buck arrives at the firehouse, Eddie is alone and opens his arms, waiting to hear the news.

Bobby: Clean bill of health from the docs.

Eddie: Glad to hear it.

Eddie: Show-off.

Buck: I had to do it.

Eddie: No, I know you did.

7...

Doctor: We'll do our best.

Eddie: Do more!

and of course 8...

Eddie: Because, Evan you came in here the other day and you said you thought it would have been better if it had been you who was shot. You act like you are expendable, but you’re wrong.

there's probably a lot more but these are the top ones that I can think of.

i think for someone who lived their whole life looking for purpose (and somehow putting themself in harm's way is something they are accustomed to do) and having someone who has their back, defending them not just from others but their own mind as well, consistently, is a match incomparable.

[got-into-worm-by-mistake]

Agitation 3.1 Live Reactions

(This is me, writing reactions as I read, because why the fuck not. They're not complete, mature thoughts taken after I sit back and evaluate what I've read. Consider them as such)

Bank Job Arc LET'S GOOOOOO!

(I Think?)

There was something appealing about being out and about before the city had woken up. 

There are many things I'll never be able to relate to wrt Taylor, I'm sure, some already, but this

Yeah. this has to be on top of that list. Becoming a warlord villain of the city? Sure what the fuck I'm all for that.

Liking being out and about at an ungodly hour? Fuck that noise.

It was like Brockton Bay was a ghost town, in a good way.

Taylor? One question:

What The Fuck?

 In February, Sophia had goaded some boys into trying to catch me, I think the goal had been to duct tape me to a telephone pole. I had escaped, helped mostly by the fact that the boys hadn’t really cared enough to run after me,

Huh. So that actually happened. I figured the fic I read here they do catch her (and then she accidentally goes wild with the Swarm, etc) just had that written as Sophia doing an escalation she didn't do in canon.

Christ, that bitch is just... someone really needs to stab Sophia. A lot.

(Like, yes, I can grant it's... not great when the story has so few black people and one of them is Sophia and she's written like... that, but still. Sophia - fucked up and vile)

Three and a half months had burned away the body fat, leaving me very lean, and had given me the stamina to run at a steady jog without leaving me panting for breath.

Lucky bitch. Three and a half months of jogging wouldn't do that for me.

(Maybe if I actually committed to it like she has, but I'm lazy so :rofl: )

There were only a few people out and about, which made it easy to find Brian.

Wait, you were here looking for Brian? Maybe clue is in sooner, Taytay?

“I want,” I said, then I felt dumb for the awkward lapse into caveman speak.  I blamed the early hour of the day.  To try and save face, I added, “Thanks.”

:rofl:

 “Don’t coffees there cost, like, fifteen dollars a cup?” Brian chuckled a little, “We can afford it, Taylor.”

And? Still a waste of money I'm willing to bet.

Also, like whomst the fuck, in 2011, was selling $15 coffee to go? Is Wildbow mistaking US and Canadian Dollars? Even in canada that feels like a lot for coffee?

Did Leviathan make coffee more expensive or something?

These guys were raking in thousands of dollars on a given job, and they had given me two thousand dollars up front. 

Yeah but you don't stay rich by just casually dropping $15 on your morning coffee.

I extended my arm, clenched my fist and relaxed it to demonstrate, “Only hurts when I flex it.”  I didn’t tell him that it had been hurting badly enough to cost me some sleep last night.

Trying to seem tough in front of the guy you're into, or just used to pretending she doesn't hurt as much as she does? Or both?

“Makes sense,” I said, then I added, “I read her page on the wiki.” “So you’ve got the gist of it,”

An accurate wiki!? LE GASP!

I spotted a crab scuttling across the beach almost directly below us.  I reached out with my power and stopped it in its tracks.  Though I didn’t need to, I extended my finger and pointed at it, then waved my finger lazily as I made the crab follow where my my index finger was pointing.  Since Brian and I were both leaning over the railing, and there was practically nobody on the Boardwalk that wasn’t busy with work or getting their store opened for the day, I was pretty certain nobody else would figure out what I was doing. Brian saw the crab dancing in circles and figure eights and smiled.  Conspiratorially, he leaned closer to me and whispered, “You can control crabs, too?” I nodded, feeling just a bit of a thrill at how we were huddled like this, sharing secrets while the people around us were totally in the dark.  I told him, “I used to think I could control anything with an exoskeleton or shell.  But I can control earthworms too, among other things, and they don’t have shells.  I think all it takes is that they have to have very simple brains.”

But there have to be other animals that also have simple brains she can't control? Some birds and mammals can, no?

It's time to say it again: POWERS

ARE

BULLSHIT

(I suspect I'll be saying that a lot. :rofl:)

Of course, it could be her powers run on what she conceptually thinks are bugs or buglike? Like, if she could convince herself that squirrels are bugs, could she control them?

I shook my head, “I gotta get home and get ready for school.” “Ah, right,” Brian said, “I forget about stuff like that.” “You guys don’t go?” “I take courses online,” Brian said, “My folks think it’s so I can hold a job to pay for my apartment… which is kind of true.  Alec dropped out, Rachel never went, and Lisa already applied for and tested for her G.E.D.  Cheated using her power, but she has it.”

It is kind of remarkable that Taylor doesn't just... give up on school, from what I gather she keeps going sometimes even well into her Villain career. I doubt Winslow would really care enough to reach out to Taylor's dad if she just... stopped actually attending.

“Ah,” I said, my focus more or less dwelling on the idea that Brian had an apartment.  Not the fact that Grue the successful supervillain had an apartment – Lisa had mentioned that to me – but that Brian the teenager with parents and schoolwork to focus on did.  He kept changing my frame of reference for trying to figure him out.

Villains are human and complex!

“That’s to our place,” he told me, “And I mean that.  Ours as in yours too.  You’re free to come by any time, even if nobody is there.  Kick back and watch TV, eat our food, track mud on our floor, yell at the others for tracking mud on the floor, whatever.” “Thank you,” I said, surprising myself by actually meaning it.

Well fuck. Yeah.

Fuck.

All this poor girl wants is a place to belong. A place to be welcome.

I mean, not all she wants, really, I suppose, but a huge part.

That wasn’t to say I didn’t like Lisa, but just being around her made me feel like I had the Sword of Damocles hanging over my head.

Understandable.

Heading back home and preparing for school left me with a gradually increasing feeling of dread, like a weight sitting on my chest.  I’d been trying not to think of Emma’s taunting and my fleeing from the school with tears on my face.  I had spent an hour or two tossing and turning in bed, the event replaying over my head while the throbbing of my wrist jarred me awake every time I started to drift off.  Beyond that, I had been pretty successful in avoiding thinking about it.  Now that the prospect of going back was looming, though, it was impossible not to dwell on the subject as I headed home, got ready and caught the bus.

Taylor "Repress Repress Repress" Hebert!

I still had to face the consequences of missing two afternoons.

Do you?

This wasn’t the first time I’d needed to psych myself up to going to school.  Deceive myself into going and staying.  The worst days had been back in my first year at high school, when the wounds of Emma’s betrayal were still fresh and I wasn’t yet experienced enough to anticipate the variety of things they could come up with.  Back then, it had been terrifying, because I hadn’t yet known what to expect, didn’t know where, when or if they would draw the line. 

Ooof

Or, I thought, maybe I could just look forward to hanging out with Lisa, Alec and Brian.  Outside of the part where I nearly got mauled by Bitch’s dogs, it had been a nice night.

I mean, that's like saying "Apart from the part where she mindraped and then actually raped her sister, Amy Dallon does wonderful things in Worm"

Okay, not really, not even close, but still. That is a very big 'apart from' to just... set aside. :rofl:

 it had been a nice night.  Thai food, five of us lounging on two couches, watching an action movie on a huge entertainment system with surround sound.  I wasn’t forgetting what they were, but I rationalized that I had no reason to feel bad about spending time with them when we were – for all intents and purposes – just a group of teenagers hanging out.  Besides, it was for a good cause, if it meant they relaxed around me and maybe revealed secrets.  Right?

Capacity for self-rationalization, thy name is Taylor. :rofl:

Even though I knew, rationally, that I probably wasn’t on the list of their top five things to talk about and that they likely weren’t talking about me, I felt my heart sink.  

No, you probably are. I'm pretty sure you live rent free in both Taylor and Emma's heads and always will. A year and a half of targeting bullying, day in, day out.

Honestly, like, forget the immorality and awfulness of doing that, just... committing to that much bullying to one person that consistently - It just feels like it would be exhausting.

 One of the other girls noticed and chuckled, leaned closer to Sophia as Sophia whispered something in her ear, then they both laughed.  My cheeks flushed with humiliation.  

Like I said. Rent Free.

 For one and three-quarter school years, I had been putting up with this shit.  I’d been going against the current for a long time, and even though I was aware of the consequences I’d face if I kept missing school like this, it was so much easier to stop pushing so hard against the current and just step in the other direction. My hands jammed into my pockets, already feeling an ambivalent sort of relief, I caught the bus back to the docks.

Life advice from Skitter:

"Drop out of school, and become a supervillain kids!"

:rofl:

(But also, good on you Taylor. In this case, quitting school is the better choice. Fukitol and all that)

[vex-bittys]

Bittybones Chapter 8: Organics and Botanicals (part 4)

Apparently, my bittybones really enjoy trashy reality television. Corvus the Kara bitty, Egg the Softbones, Buttons, Yanberry, and Phantom stared enraptured as stupid humans (basically all humans) said and did stupid things in crystal clear HD with surround sound. I'm not one to look a gift distraction in the mouth, so I proceeded with my idea for the Good Boy Points, or G.

I started by digging a collection of small Mason jars out of the cupboard from my brief stint as a person who thinks she can make her own sauces, pickles, and preserves. Canning one's own food is an art form in which I possess zero talent, and I ended up wasting a significant amount of time, money, and produce with very little to show for it aside from burned fingers. I've learned my lesson though: just get store bought. My standards aren't all that high anyway (you did adopt that shirtless asshole…).

Since I still had the jars, I decided to turn my DIY failure into a DIY opportunity! I dug out another box stuffed full of forgotten craft projects that had also surpassed my limited talents. Choosing seven equally sized jars, I got to work decorating. These would be excellent banks for the Good Boy Points, and nobody would judge my sub-par construction (that's what you think)!

I adorned each jar with a name tag, leaving the lids off because I don't have the tools to make a slot in them, and I wouldn't know how to use the tools even if I did. I wrapped the mouth of each container with a different color of dyed suede cord: red for Red (your favorite!), teal for Brassy, blue for Buttons, purple for Yanberry, black for Corvus, pastel pink for Egg, and yellow for Phantom. 

All I had left to do was make the actual Good Boy Points. I wanted my boys to have something tangible to show for their good deeds. I took some thin sheets of balsa wood that, once upon a time, I tried to use to make (rickety) bitty furniture for Red. My carpentry career ended in a tragic bitty bed collapse (i almost dusted). Now I punched out tiny circles with a hole punch, catching Buttons’ and Berry’s attention.

I showed the pair of curious bittys the shimmery paints that I wanted to use on my wooden counterfeit currency, and they immediately volunteered to help with the painting. Soon, the three of us had created an assembly line, churning out quite a substantial supply of bronze, silver, and gold “coins.” Sure, Buttons and Berry ended up partially gilded, but we accomplished our task… just in time for lunch!

I may be bad at crafts (and building furniture and dating and paying attention to your precious edgy bitty), but I can whip up an ooey, gooey delicious grilled cheese sandwich in a matter of minutes. I even graciously added ham to one of the sandwiches for my little meat maulers. I handed out bitty-sized cubes of toasted bread and melted cheese without ham to Corvus, Egg, and Buttons and ones with ham to Berry and Phantom. With a deep, calming breath, I entered the bedroom to deliver lunch to the inmates.

Red snatched his mini sandwich out of my hands then turned his back on me to eat it. I gave his head a little scratch anyway, and he growled halfheartedly. Brassy accepted his sandwich with a bit more manners (kiss ass), but he still pouted while he munched. I turned back to Red only to see two cheesy pieces of bread somehow stuck to the ceiling of his bitty house while Red himself held the ham between his jaws and shook it like a rabid dog (woof).

The introduction of Good Boy Points could not happen soon enough, so I collected Red, Brassy, and the ruined bread and headed for the living room. An irate Red demanded the remains of his lunch (it's mine!), and I reluctantly returned it to him, expecting it to end up on the living room ceiling. He ate it thankfully, but refused to let go of my hand when I tried to set him down next to his bitty brothers.

As soon as Brassy noticed Red's clinginess, he latched onto the hand that held him with his arms and legs. I resigned myself to my fate and allowed each of them to perch on one of my shoulders. Red promptly wrapped himself in my hair (i didn't want to fall) and glared balefully at the world around him.

I sat down cross legged on the floor and introduced my newly invented reward system to the boys with the reality show playing, forgotten now, in the background. The bittybones crowded around to check out their individual jars, and I explained that all good behavior would earn the bitty a Good Boy Point or G for short. No good deeds or bad behavior meant no G, though no G would be removed from a jar once awarded.

By this point, the two bittys who had stubbornly demanded to be held (me!)(And me) changed their minds in lieu of investigating the pile of freshly painted Good Boy Points. I continued my planned speech about the G, telling my potential good boys that their points could be redeemed for treats at the bitty shop or grocery store, specially requested items if I could find them, or the greatest reward of all: special one-on-one activities with me!

(sign me up!)

Yanberry happily exclaimed that he couldn't wait to redeem his G for a flamethrower, which led to a discussion about things my boys would not be buying with their points. They were not allowed to “draw me like one of their French girls” (i asked) especially since the only bitty with that much artistic talent only wanted a flamethrower. They would also not be joining me or watching me during showers or baths (I asked that one). I made a blanket rule forbidding all perverted, sexual, or dangerous uses of G which made Red, Brassy, and Berry sulk. 

I concluded my presentation by placing the first official Good Boy Points in Buttons’ and Berry’s jars since they had helped me with the project. I then awarded a G to each of my bittys for behaving during my explanation. Red tried to argue that he saw Phantom winking at me, and I had to point out that I did not consider winking to be bad behavior (it's a gateway bad behavior!). 

I very politely neglected to point out that I do, however, consider stealing to be bad behavior, and me and my five well behaved bittys had all pretended not see Red and Brassy stuffing quick handfuls of G into their pockets like the tiniest of kleptomaniacs.

(how dare you accuse us of such crimes)

I guess they didn't realize that the paint on some of the Good Boy Points hadn't completely dried yet.

It's hard to feign innocence when the gold, silver, and bronze evidence is sparkling on their sticky little palms.

(shit)

-

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[paper-bag-with-holes]

The End.

I don’t like to whine in public because it doesn’t bring joy around in a dark enough world, but I’ve had so much on the heart that I need to get it out of my system. I’ve been working on my comic Trifolium for 2 years now, and am reaching the end. Usually ending a webcomic means being freed and is something to be celebrated, but not this time. For my previous comics, I’ve known the joy of sharing this experience with readers who were excited to see the conclusion but were also a bit sad to know it was ending. It was the end of a journey we shared together. But for Trifolium, it isn’t. There is no one to be excited about the conclusion, to share the end of the adventure with. No one has been reading this comic after all (except for a few of my close friends). I have noticed it quickly, no one commented on the updates (except for my friends), no reaction on the illustrations because they didn’t know the characters, had no interest in them. I continued until I finished Chapter 4 and Interlude 5, after that I gave up on sharing my comic because I knew that no one was interested in reading it. I continued to draw it thanks to my friends’ support, but considered it something I was doing only for myself, so I needn’t upload it online. And for months, still no one was reading my comic, so I never bothered translating the text of the last chapters in english. Why should I waste time on this if no one is gonna read it? But then, as I am arriving at the end, working on the extra comic pages, I realized that the end of this comic also means its death. You know how nowadays, on social networks, a drawing has a lifespan of 24h. It might not be true for everyone, but for me it pretty much is. After 24h, the number of likes/retweets doesn’t change anymore, which means that no one is seeing it after that. The followers who have missed it have their timeline filled with other contents, the others will never cross the drawing through a retweet ever again. For my comic, the thing is people will know it exists as long as I post updates of the process (when I’m done with the sketching, inking, illustration) and maybe feel like reading it, but once it’s completed and I no longer draw and post anything for it, people will forget about it. And no one else will get the chance to find it and read it. It will be as good as dead. With the amount of new media coming out everyday, no one will dig in the site of a non-popular nobody a mere unknown webcomic that no one has ever recommended. So I asked on Twitter and Tumblr why my followers (people who supposedly like my art?) didn’t read my comic, with the hope that it might be something I could fix (like the not-phone-friendly format ? but in the end, that wasn’t mentionned as a problem…). Worse… I got people saying my comic is good, so the problem doesn’t come from it… Then WHY has no one been interested in reading it? If you tell me it’s good but no one is interested in reading it, it only got me more frustrated. I’d have prefered they say that the story is bad, at least I’d have understood why no one wants to read it. To me, it means that it wasn’t interesting enough to make people want to read it. I must be at fault in some way, because you can’t just say I had NO LUCK ??? Most replies were saying that they wanted to read it later, when they have time or stop forgetting. It’s not that I don’t believe them when they say this, but deep down, you know very well that you will forget again (because I do). And once I stop posting about it,  I’m pretty sure they’ll never think about it ever again. And if they do, will they really feel like reading a webcomic made by an amateur? When reading a published comic would at least guarantee some quality and possibly be less of a waste of time, in an era in which we don’t get much free time and have so much to read, watch or play.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not blaming anyone in particular, since “no one reading” means that it’s the sum of the personal reasons of “everyone” for not feeling like reading it. I think it’s not anyone’s fault, many friends I’ve been crying to just told me that’s how the internet is now. It can’t be helped. It’s not 2012 anymore, it was probably a mistake to not think about it. But can’t I also have the right to be sad about it for all the reasons I’ve written above? I’ve spent 2 years on a project that is just going to die literally. That’d why, the end of this comic is particularly painful, to the point of crying a few nights and days. This journey has been very lonely. And if by miracle, anyone comes across my comic and finds it interesting enough to read it, they’ll most likely not comment on it or take the time to write me a message if they enjoyed it. It’s an era in which there is so much “contents” that we just merely have the time to move to the next one. It feels like the artist behind it no longer matters (especially on sites like webtoon, where the readers would call me “author”…) and is only a machine. I guess drawing webcomics is over for me. I had planned a new project, but I think it’ll be wiser not to do it. I’m thinking of using the free time I’m getting back to find a sport I like, there are 20 kg I’d love to lose.