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the-conversation-pod · 25 days ago

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Year in Review 2024

AND WE'RE BACK!

Come join Ben, NiNi, and Shan as we talk about the trends we noticed, air some grievances, hand out some of our favorite fan awards, and make some new resolutions!

Timestamps

The timestamps will now correspond with chapters on Spotify for easier navigation.

00:00:00 - Welcome 00:00:55 - 2024 Headlines: Industry Consolidation 00:06:49 - 2024 Headline: Self-Censorship 00:13:52 - 2024 Headlines: Vertical Format Micro-BLs and Other Shit We're Anti 00:20:14 - Festivus Airing Of The Grievances 00:36:51 - 2024 Fan Awards 00:55:49 - QL Resolutions 01:04:45 - Affirmations and Hopes for the Future

The Conversation Transcripts!

Thanks to the continued efforts of @lurkingshan as an editor and proofreader, we are able to bring you transcripts of the episodes.

We will endeavor to make the transcripts available when the episodes launch, and it is our goal to make them available for past episodes (Coming soon thanks to @wen-kexing-apologist). When transcripts are available, we will attach them to the episode post (like this one) and put the transcript behind a Read More cut to cut down on scrolling.

Please send our volunteers your thanks!

00:00 - Welcome

NiNi

Welcome to The Conversation, the Queer Media And Brown Liquor Podcast.

Ben

I'm Ben, the media critic

NiNi

I’m NiNi, the vibes queen

Ben

And we are your drunk Caribbean uncle and auntie who are sitting on the porch in the rocking chairs

NiNi

We’re here to talk queer film and dramas, with a special focus on Asian QL

Ben

So if you like to dive deep into queer stories…

NiNi

If you like cracked out takes on art and commerce in queer media…

Ben

If you just enjoy simping for attractive people…

NiNi

We believe in simping!

Ben

Tune in!

00:00:55 - 2024 Headlines: Industry Consolidation

Ben

And we're back. Oh my God, it's time to review 2024 before we get to the VIIB Awards, where it's just nonstop us talking about our faves. Once again, we have brought Shan into the booth because we have too much to discuss. Shan, say hello.

Shan

Hello!

Ben

First, it's time for us to talk about the big ideas of the year. NiNi, as the person who loves Thai BL the most on The Conversation, let's talk about how clearly the money is drying up and everybody is having to shuffle to whoever's got something to offer them.

NiNi

Is the money drying up or is it just being funneled all to the same place? Because it feels like more money is getting spent on fewer things. I don't think that's necessarily a good thing, but I'm not sure that I can put my finger up and say that's a bad thing, either. We have seen some definite dips in quality. We don't have as many faves this year as we did last year, or even the year before. But what we did love, we loved-loved.

So it's a complicated picture, I guess, but definitely there's been a consolidation and we wanted to talk about it a little bit because we predicted this in our very first set of episodes, all those many, many, many moons ago. We predicted that there was a consolidation coming in Thai BL because everything just got so big, so fast, and that usually precedes everything's starting to shrink back down a little bit.

Ben

Big things we noted this year was GMMTV absorbing a bunch of free agents and, in one case, basically the entire staff of a whole studio that they now hire to do production work for them.

Shan

Mmhmm. It's been wild. Like every week, I feel like we've been seeing announcements of new talent acquired by GMMTV.

Ben

Barcode is now at GMMTV.

NiNi

That was a big get.

Shan

All the Wabi Sabi boys this year, too.

NiNi

Yeah, those were the two big headlines, Wabi Sabi getting folded into GMMTV was one and definitely Barcode coming right at the end of the year. That was a big one.

Shan

They also got Dimple Fluke.

NiNi

I mean, we love Dimple Fluke, but I don't know how big Dimple Fluke is in the general fandom—

Shan

—He's big in my heart, NiNi, big in my heart.

Ben

[laughs] We thought this was coming when they got Singto to come back. Clearly trying to do it on his own didn't work and they were able to get him back in their house. I don't know how I feel about it. Wabi Sabi is no longer doing talent management. BOC seems to be shrinking

NiNi

BOC (Be On Cloud) has said that they're backing off of talent management, as well. They dropped most of their roster. I think they only represent Mile, Appo, and Bible now.

Ben

Wow.

Shan

GMMTV is the big studio that seems to want to be in the idol management game. And so that's where a lot of the talent is going. What feels concerning about it to me—we've talked quite a lot on this podcast about the increase in output, but not a commensurate increase in quality from GMMTV.

Out of all of the BLs that they're putting out annually, which is around eight to 10, there may be only a couple that actually have really good scripts behind them. So they're acquiring all this talent, but we know they don't have enough good writing to support shows to support this much talent. They put out, this year, a script writing contest to the plebes to say, “Help us, we need help writing shows.”

NiNi

I was just gonna bring that up.

Ben

With hostile as fuck language, by the way.

Shan

They literally went to the fans and said, “Can you write us some shows? Because we got nothing and we're acquiring all this talent.” That's just on the BL side. They've got this whole side of the house of these great, talented actresses and very few projects to cast them in. So it's concerning to me to see all the talent going to this one place that clearly cannot handle everybody that they're taking on.

Ben

It worries me too, because we've noticed a lot less sponsorship deals in most of their shows. One or two shows per year will get the usual eight- to 10-plus sponsor cards at the beginning, but that number has dropped off overall. It's very clear that there's maybe not as much ad money helping fund the production in the first place.

NiNi

Bestie, I haven't seen an Oishii ad in quite some time.

Shan

Right, where did Oishii go?

Ben

If the juice makers have given up, it's over.

NiNi

It is concerning to see this consolidation happening. There's a few people who are out on their own, who I think might be able to survive on their own. Like Jeff is out on his own, Billkin and PP are out on their own, and they're probably the ones who can sustain. Everybody else is either going to GMMTV or they're getting into the other side of GMM Grammy, like the One31 kind of lakorn side. But even that is shrinking, we're given to understand, people are moving into BL because that's the growing side of the market.

Actors are moving into BL who might not have done BL before. Big names got into BL this year, like Jes Jespipat did 4 Minutes with Bible, a Be On Cloud production. He's a big lakorn actor. And then JJ and Tor did Spare Me Your Mercy at the end of the year. The headline on that really is like these big lakorn actors who nobody would have ever expected to do gay shit are doing the—well, in the case of Spare Me Your Mercy, semi gay shit. But Jes did gay gay shit in 4 Minutes, you know what I mean? So that's one of the big, I think, headlines that we need to be looking at looking at Thai BL in particular going forward.

00:06:49 - 2024 Headlines: Self-Censorship

Ben

We need to talk about Thai BL starting to self-censor, likely to reach specific markets.

Shan

Yeah, it's concerning. I wouldn't call it a trend yet, but we've seen a few examples of it in the last few months and it's making me nervous. What I'm talking about is, productions that are publicly saying, admitting that they are censoring some of the more explicit romantic or sexual content from their BL shows so that they can focus on reaching a wider audience with their message. We've seen statements like that from the Addicted Heroin creator. We've seen recently the screenwriter of Spare Me Your Mercy talk about the decision to remove explicit sexual content from the show for the same reason. We saw some of this related to Love Sick as well. If you're gonna do a Love Sick remake in 2024, the one thing you would expect them to improve on is not having censored kisses, but nope, they didn't do that.

So there's this drive and this stated intention by some of the creators behind these shows to create BL dramas that minimize the actual BL as much as possible. They want to take advantage of the market for BL. They want to take advantage of the fan interest and the fan engagement for BL while also getting away with keeping the actual queer romance in these stories as minimal as possible. That is pretty shitty. They're coming out and they're saying this openly, this is not us just guessing.

NiNi

Just saying that taking the romance out is why I left a lot of Western media. I'm so tired of seeing people say things like, “Well this doesn't have any plot.” The romance is the plot, the relationship is the plot and not recognizing that in a genre that is about romance is the part that kind of makes me go like mmm, okay, like yes—

Ben

The genre is literally called Boy Love. (all) Where is the love?

How old is that song? Hold on, let me Google that real quick.

Shan

Don't look it up. But this is what I mean. Like, NiNi and I are refugees from Western romance. We came over to Asia for kdrama, because we wanted to see a genre of television that respected romance, that took it seriously as its own storytelling, that actually respected romance fans and people who like love stories. That is one of the best and most consistent features of Asian drama. And so to have now this subset of Asian drama creators who are specifically working in a queer love space that is even more hard for people to find, even less accepted by the mainstream, to have them intentionally self-censoring because they are trying to prove some kind of weird point. It just completely misses the point for me of why people are here engaging with these dramas. Certainly it doesn't seem to be helping in terms of pushing forward the social agenda in these countries where they're making these shows.

Ben

This is the part that always stresses me out when we're trying to measure how gay can it be and still get funded because this happens to us repeatedly in queer viewer space. Netflix pulled this shit on us where, when they first wanted to go to digital streaming, they set up deals with all of the gay distribution houses. And we got to watch all of these movies that we had never had access to before. And it was great. And we all were like, hell yeah, I'm going to go on Netflix so can watch my little gay shows.

As soon as they get tastemakers—read: queer and brown people—to pimp their shit, they try and immediately convert and get a bunch of normies in there.

NiNi

Yep, that's basically what happens.

Ben

This, again, this is not shit I'm making up! This is what really happened.

Shan

These are the patterns and we've seen them play out so many times in so many places and it's the pattern we're starting to see play out in BL and it's alarming.

NiNi

I mean! It played out on Tumblr. The platform that we spend so much of our time on, this is exactly what happened. The people who built the ship got kicked out of the ship.

Ben

It's been an actually horrible year on Tumblr for queer people, especially trans people. It's a bad look that the gays who make the shit who seem like they're in an accepted enough space are either choosing to or being pressured to straighten up their act so that they can continue to get fed and make stuff. That doesn't feel great. It feels really worrisome as a sign about what may or may not be going on. Like it's only a few things right now, but we're seeing this everywhere else.

NiNi

What we're basically saying is support GagaOOLala

Shan

Please! If you're gonna spend money on any of these platforms, spend your money on the queer platform hosted in Taiwan that actually cares about queer people.

Ben

If you have spent significant sums of money on iQIYI in the last year for two shows and you haven't spent money on Gaga, reflect and then message us. [all laugh]

NiNi

And I mean if you need yet another reason to subscribe to Gaga, their social media manager is like the greatest person in the world.

Ben

They're my favorite person. They made fun of Kidnap. They were like, Kidnap, the show that's probably poorly named, is back on this week.

Shan

Let's just get on our soapbox about Gaga for a minute, okay? They are the only platform that streams the vast majority of Japanese QL, period. They bring us Taiwanese BL. They bring us Thai BL in increasing volume.

Ben

The WeTV shows have been consistently airing on Gaga lately. GMMTV is also clearly trying to consolidate and are starting to put their shows behind the Gaga and iQIYI paywall.

Shan

It's a good platform that is worth supporting and it's far cheaper than any other streaming you're paying for. You should have it. You should subscribe.

NiNi

This is not an ad.

Ben

They do. We are not being paid. But if you guys want to hang out—I'm just kidding. Don't put that in there, NiNi. [laughs]

NiNi

Yeah, but yeah, support Gaga. That's the only platform that when Park Seo Ham came out of the military, sent out a tweet saying, “Tell the world the bitch is back.”

Ben

I love her!

Shan

They deserve it.

NiNi

She is us, we are her, and this is a non-binary she. We don't know the gender of the GagaOOLala social media manager, but she's one of the girls.

Ben

I'm using ‘she’ in a gay way. It's very affectionate.

NiNi

She, non-gender specific.

00:13:52 - 2024 Headlines: Vertical Format Micro-BLs and Other Shit We're Anti

Ben

While we're bitching about things, let's talk about all these stupid vertical TV shows that keep coming out and how we must continue to refuse to watch them. We have already seen one of the shows that [Iijima] was in is going to apparently be put on TV properly.

Good job, everybody, in not watching that. [NiNi and Shan laugh]

Do not let this become a thing. We cannot tell them that we are willing to watch shows two minutes at a time on our phones only. Unacceptable.

Shan

Not only two minutes at a time on our phones only, but only after burning through a huge number of ads. That's how you get to the shows.

Ben

Gross.

NiNi

This is like Ben's whole conversation in one of our more recent episodes about the BL TikTok filter. They're trying to get you used to the BL TikTok filter in like a million ways.

Ben

I won't. I will NOT accept this!

Shan

Because the aim of this is to stop making actual dramas and just get us to watch a version of TikTok on our phones and call that BL. That's the end game here, guys. Don't fall for it.

NiNi

Do not fall for it.

Ben

We are here to support storytellers only. We are not here to make ad guys happy.

NiNi

I think that's a good segue.

Ben

Speaking of ad guys who clearly don't like us, Korea is not interested in BL right now. [laughs]

NiNi

Oh my God.

Ben

We got three good Korean BLs this year.

Shan

At least they were all excellent. I know we talked about it on our recent Hallyu episode but now that the year is complete and the data has been crunched, I just want to underline this. We got, not necessarily fewer shows total from Korea, but we got fewer shows of a decent length. We got fewer shows of quality. A lot of what Korea put out this year was junk, frankly. These little vertical series, these small little web series that are really short episodes and very lacking in narrative. And then they also put out three of the very best things of the year.

So it was a real dichotomy. In years previous Korea was putting out a more steady run of quality shows. We saw a real drop off of that this year.

Ben

Oh shit, did Strongberry even make anything this year?

NiNi

I was just about to say this is the year that Strongberry pissed me off because they made that Happy Ending thing that was neither happy nor an ending.

Shan

And they made Blossom Campus, which was terrible.

Ben

Ew…

Shan

Strongberry let us down this year for the first time ever.

NiNi

I kind of feel it for them because the CEO of Strongberry has spent so much time telling us how hard it is to get shit made and to get money to get shit made. So I was just like, ooh, things must be getting, like, real rough if they couldn't put out anything good.

Shan

Can we though just take a moment to shout out the CEO of Strongberry for putting out his own little story about what happened with that show and basically being like, I told the writer not to fucking do that and he didn't listen to me.

Ben

I did love that. I love that he just said, I told her she ain't let one listen.

Shan

He was like, this is not on me. Do not associate this with me. You love Strongberry. You will continue to love Strongberry. [NiNi laughs]

Ben

He basically did say it like that. We were like, all right, girl. [laughs]

Shan

We'll let you have this one.

NiNi

Yeah, but I mean it's a year in which we had nothing good from Strongberry, and that to me is like, wow. We got other really good stuff, some of it came out of absolutely nowhere. And I think that it had to come out of absolutely nowhere to get aired, because, as we saw when things are in the pipeline and they know about it, they're going to try to kill it.

Ben

Our last big highlight of the year we want to point out is that there was a Japanese BL airing almost every week this year. That is unprecedented. Usually, even if stuff gets made, we barely know about it, it gets no distribution, and the fansubbers are having people show up at their houses over. [NiNi laughs]

So we almost never get a lot of the Japanese BL, but there was a significant amount that was just handed to us on legal platforms for us to support, most notably GagaOOLala.

Shan

GagaOOLala! I started Japanese QL Corner in January of 2024 on Tumblr. It's just a weekly post that I do that tracks the Japanese QL that's out. And I had things to write about every single week for the entire year. And we weren't always having to chase things down in the dark corners of the internet. We had things that we could watch on a regular streaming platform every week from Japan, And there were weeks when I was writing about six or seven shows at a time. That's how much was airing.

NiNi

Now were those six or seven shows great?

Ben

Not always.

NiNi

I would say no, not always, but in terms of batting average, I think Japan did pretty well this year.

Shan

I'd say still about half of the shows that aired from Japan this year were good to fantastic. And the other half were problematic here and there. There were only a handful that I thought were, like, bad bad.

Ben

My favorite thing about watching Japanese BL is that I am never mid about it. I either really liked it or I was like, who is this for? [Shan and NiNi laugh]

I love that there's not all this wishy washy shit about like, oh, maybe it's kind of okay if I squint this direction. I'd be like, no, fuck that show. A 4 for you, a 3 for you, a 4 for you. Stay away from the shows I love. All of you over here, my 9s and 10s. Don't look at them. They're not worth it. Averages are not the most useful metric but I really like that when I'm recommending or not recommending Japanese BL, I feel very firm about how I feel about these shows.

Shan

I do think that there has been a lot more variation in quality with the high uptick in volume of shows. But the batting average is still pretty damn high.

We've got two new Japanese QL productions starting this week. So I'm excited that it's gonna keep going.

Ben

That's it for the big highlights.

00:20:14 - Festivus Airing Of The Grievances

Ben

Before we close out this year, we need to vent a little bit of grief. We need to talk about the things that we were super hype about that made us look like clowns. We're gonna start with our biggest disappointments in no particular order. Starting with the worst.

NiNi, Wandee Gooday!

NiNi

[laughs] The absolute worst. I am so pissed off at this show. I talked a little bit about how pissed off I was with this show in our mailbag episode, but friends, I still have more ire in me about the show. I was so stoked, and the show dragged me along for a solid five to six episodes and then literally dropped me on my face. And that's something that I do not forgive in any way. I will remain pissed off forever.

This is not The Shipper level, but damn close and I can't do it.

Ben

If you want to feel a little solidarity, David was actually bitching about this at brunch earlier this weekend. He said, I can't believe I wrote a whole post for the first time on Tumblr about this show only to be made to look like a clown like this. He said he's never writing anything ever again.

NiNi

[laughs] David's like, how dare you embarrass me?

Shan

How dare you? It sucked, man. It was a huge letdown.

NiNi

And the thing is that it could have been so good.

Shan

Could’ve had it all.

NiNi

I'm convinced that the first half and the second half were written by two different people. That's the only thing that makes any sense to me.

Ben

Yes, let's start talking about BL like Star Wars fans. STAR WARS COULD BE SO GOOD IF IT WAS GOOD. Before you bitches come after me, my very first email address I made is a Star Wars email. Don't come for me.

NiNi

Don't come for him, period. Okay?

Shan

Leave us alone, it's been a long year.

Ben

Speaking of a long year of disappointments, Shan, I'm letting you have the entire disappointment that was all of Sammon’s collected works this year.

NiNi

Oh God, here we go.

Shan

We're calling this the Sammon Omnibus entry in the disappointment list. This year there were four different projects associated with Dr. Sammon. She screen wrote three out of four, and was the original writer for one: these shows were Dead Friend Forever, 4 Minutes, Spare Me Your Mercy, and Petrichor. All QLs, all with her attached, all very heavily promoted and very buzzy.

I'm not gonna say that none of these shows were good at all or had any artistic merit. I actually really liked Dead Friend Forever until it fucked up the ending. 4 Minutes I found to be a very beautiful but ultimately incoherent mess. Spare Me Your Mercy was just a flop for all of us, none of us finished the show after all of us putting it on our list of the most anticipated of the year.

Ben

After JJ put his whole ass into Great Men Academy, I can't believe they embarrassed him like this.

[NiNi laughs]

Shan

We have all seen Tor and JJ in other projects. You are lying if you claim that they were on their game in this show. I'm sorry. They have both done better with other people with better material. This show did not live up to the hype. I did not even finish it because I was so disappointed.

Ben

I can't believe we're saying that Tor was better in fucking Midnight Museum.

NiNi

He was! He was absolutely better in Midnight Museum.

Shan

He was better in Midnight Museum! And he had better chemistry with Gun than he did with JJ in this BL. JJ was light yards better in Great Men Academy than he was here. I'm not trying to shade the actors. It's not their fault. It's the material. The writing was bad. The show was flat. They seemed not at all dialed into their characters. They seemed confused about what they were supposed to be conveying, probably because their relationship development arc didn't make any fucking sense. It's not the actor's fault. They are very good actors and this show did not give them what they needed to succeed. I cannot believe what a letdown this show was after all that hype. There's also Petrichor, which is the first GL that has her attached to it. And I had to drop that one, too. It was hard to watch.

Sammon is kind of considered one of the best screenwriters in the QL industry in Thailand. She wrote Triage. She was attached to Manner of Death. She has a track record. She has all these novels that are very popular and well liked. So there's a certain level of expectation that comes with her shows. But this year, her big year of four QLs, this was not it. Not a single one of these projects left me satisfied. I started the year as such a strong fan of her work, and I'm ending the year kind of throwing my hands up like, well, girl, guess Triage was a fluke. I don't know what's been going on, but you have not even come close to meeting that standard again.

NiNi

I liked DFF and 4 Minutes more than you guys did. We've talked about this already. But I will say that these are shows that they spent money on. I have no complaints about production quality on any of these shows. They pulled up some quality actors. They got Engfah in Petrichor. They got JJ and Tor for, as you mentioned, Spare Me Your Mercy. Bible and Jes put on a clinic in 4 Minutes. And the DFF boys, they put their whole pussy in. They acted these shows, and they produced these shows. They look great, they sound great, but the writing just didn't hold up to everything else that they were putting in.

And they got progressively worse because the one that I enjoyed the most was Dead Friend Forever, that was the first one. And the one that I enjoyed the least was Spare Me and Mercy. Like, we all dropped it. For different reasons, I think, but we all dropped it.

Shan

I mean, it was not working on any level. So no matter what you were there for, there was just nothing to hold on to. If you were there for the romance, if you were there for the mystery, if you were there for the euthanasia discussion, it didn't really succeed at any of those.

NiNi

Let's move on. Because we could talk about this forever.

Ben

Oh, that's fine. It's time for me to go the fuck off. I've been holding this in for months. [NiNi] It's time to talk about My Love Mix Up.

NiNi

God, here we go.

Ben

Before I hurt people's feelings about this, I like Fourth and Gemini a lot. I think they're both very charming. I think they are both real talents and I am very much looking forward to seeing how they mature over the next decade, the way we got to experience with the original GMMTV BL boys. That being said, part about supporting your faves, for me, is wanting them to get work that uses them well. And I do not believe that My Love Mix Up used anyone well. It's extremely disappointing to me that after doing such a good job on Cherry Magic Thailand, that GMMTV released a show that did everything I was afraid would go wrong with Cherry Magic Thailand.

Cherry Magic Thailand managed to make the Cherry Magic story applicable to the Thai context in a way that we all loved. My Love Mix Up was not a Thai adaptation of Kieta Hatsukoi. It was My School President in a terrible Halloween costume, clearly trying to sell more tickets for concerts for these boys. It was embarrassing and it was a waste of everyone's time. I am so mad about this because I had doubts about this the whole way into it, but really hoped that after the strong showing in Cherry Magic, that there was gonna be something really cool here. I had a lot of hopes about this. This sucked.

And so much of it comes down to casting. As much as I like Forth and Gemini, I like them as individual actors, not as a branded pair. I think they work just fine together, but they were not the correct boys to play these characters together.

NiNi

It's especially noteworthy because there were other boys in My Love Mix Up who I think would have done a better job.

Ben

[performately coughing] Aungpao!

NiNi

They put Aungpao in this show and they didn't make him one of the leads. Aungpao would have killed Atom.

Ben

Yeah, Aungpao would have done a way better job.

Shan

Yeah, he would have been perfect.

Ben

And I think Fourth should have played Ida's character.

Shan

I watched one or two episodes of this before I dropped it. And to me, it was just such an obvious case of miscasting. They cast it based on wanting to shove a pre-existing branded pair into a set of characters that did not fit them. And so from the start, the whole production betrayed the story. That's just frustrating.

Ben

And they clearly did not understand the major themes either. They really fucked it up.

NiNi

I came at it from a different perspective than you guys, because you guys had watched Kieta Hatsukoi, and I deliberately did not watch Kieta Hatsukoi until after I had watched My Love Mix Up, because I wanted to be sort of a control, and I ended up in the same place on the whole thing that you guys did, watching Kieta Hatsukoi afterward.

They did not get this right at all. They didn't have the spirit of it.

Ben

I'm really glad you were able to arrive at this conclusion with us. Kieta Hatsukoi is really solid and I do not understand how they fucked that up that badly. It pissed me off. It was disappointing. Chop!

Speaking of chops, how dare they reboot Love Sick in 2024 and then fuck it up this badly. I loved Love Sick as what felt like the Thai Degrassi. How do you make a worse version of that? In 2014 Love Sick was absolutely insane. They had girls two-timing dudes in the same bed with them in their own apartment complex. They have motherfuckers trying to drown each other in the pools and shit. [NiNi laughs]

Shan

And they had sex. They didn't show it on screen, but those characters had sex.

Ben

I get much of the stuff that we saw in 2014. Love Sick may have been adding stuff and they may have been trying to be more true to the book by just making it into this boring ass GL and BL experience, but it just wasn't good. And I was pissed because they went in a cool direction by making Aim queer that was really good, but it doesn't save the show.

Shan

That was the only interesting thing I heard about this remake, is that they made Aim a lesbian which added a little bit of a layer to her desire to cling on to her boyfriend. But everything else they did worse on than the original show.

Ben

I don't want to be super mean to these boys because everybody was new in Love Sick and everybody's clearly new here. But goddamn, the new kid does not match Captain. And the way that they went so hard in making him look like Captain undercuts him constantly because he's just not as good as Captain.

Shan

You know, Ben, the moment I saw that buzzcut is when I knew that this production was doomed. [NiNi laughs] Because that is so not the fucking point. That's not the part of him you have to get right!

NiNi

My whole thing about this is that to be disappointed you have to have expectations. I was not disappointed in Love Sick 2024 because I had no expectations. I did not watch it. From the time I saw that they were remaking Love Sick, I remember, I think we said on this podcast, “Who needs it? Nobody.”

Nobody needs a Love Sick remake in 2024.

Ben

We were correct. We asked why it was made and they had no answer.

Speaking of why was this made, Yin and War had a great deal of fun with their friends in the show that they produced, Jack and Joker. I ended up dropping it because they killed Jennie and I refused to accept that and I left.

NiNi

Jennie Panhan is a goddess and you cannot kill her on your show. I'm sorry, you just can't.

Shan

They really shouldn't have. It was pointless and gratuitous and disgusting.

But let me just say, I did finish this show and I don't wanna be super mean to Jack and Joker because here's the thing: it's not a real show. It is a self-funded vanity project from Yin and War so that they could hang out on a set with their friends.

Ben

And Tee Bundit was there.

Shan

And Tee Bundit was also there. I went into the show and I was like, I know this is not a real story. They cobbled this script together themselves. We're just having a good time here. That was my only expectation: this will be fun. It'll be entertaining. I have no expectations for a coherent story, for themes, anything like that. And even with that bar, the lowest bar I can possibly grant to a show, somehow this show disappointed me.

It was a mess, but not a fun mess. It was boring. It was mostly sexless, which was the most shocking part to me. They had three pairings in this show, only one of whom actually kissed on screen.

Ben

They had our boy Pee in this show.

Shan

They put Pee fucking Peerawich in this show and they didn't let him kiss anybody! I was pissed.

I'm livid, still. They had this great side couple that the fandom was super into. They never actually let them get together on screen. They did not become an actual romance.

Ben

The most useful thing about that side pair is that Shan recognizes Mark Siwat about 30% of the time now.

Shan

I know what his face looks like now!

Hi, Mark Siwat, this is my letter of apology to you.

NiNi

Shan has a very specific Mark Siwat face blindness.

Shan

It's Mark Siwat-only face blindness. And I'm sorry, Mark Siwat, you don't deserve that from me. You were a delight in this show. And I'm so mad that your character did not get a proper story.

The thing that frustrated me about this show is it's a fucking fan service project. So why aren't you serving the fucking fans? We spent 16 hours in this show and it was mostly boring nonsense. They stopped doing the capers halfway through for some reason and just made us sit in these endless plots about this stupid fucking mafia whatever, rich families playing squid games. It was stupid. It was boring.

Meanwhile, they didn't deliver on most of the things that the fans wanted. What a pointless use of so much money. Why, Yin and War? Why?!

Ben

We hadn't seen Mark properly in BL since Bite Me, so I was especially disappointed. I'm still mad about that, too! Don't you worry! I'm still mad!

NiNi

God, I'm still mad about Bite Me.

Shan

This should have been the funnest thing that happened this year. And instead, it was boring and sad.

Ben

I'm so sorry that you were on two of our disappointments, Jennie. You didn't deserve that, either.

NiNi

That's an important thing to bring up. Like, where's the fun? I feel like there were things that should have been fun that were just a slog. Where did the fun go? If this is gonna be a caper BL, then be a caper BL. You know that it's bad if you can't get me to watch a Tee Bundit show. I have not watched a minute of it. You know I feel about Tee Bundit. I love him even when everybody else hates him. Except for Hidden Agenda, which we will never talk about again. But this show didn't even compel me to watch it, which is saddening.

Shan

Yeah, it was lackluster and it was truly only the fan sentiment for Yin and War that made it popular. It was just fans supporting actors that they like, and there's nothing wrong with that. But there's no there there with this show.

NiNi

Shout out to War’s pottery videos. Sir, you are hyper competent and I find that very attractive.

Shan

And I really recommend just watching his pottery videos instead of this show.

Ben

That's right, just head to IG instead. War did good work in Love Mechanics. That's why he's a fave. That doesn't mean I have to applaud everything he does after that, especially when it's not that good.

I did like all of his outfits, though. Clearly he had a great time.

NiNi

Okay, so now that we have completed our Festivus airing of the grievances…

Ben

I feel better. I really do.

Shan

I'm happy we got that off our chests.

NiNi

Let's move into our fan awards.

00:36:51 - 2024 Fan Awards

NiNi

In advance of our Very Important Internet BL awards, VIIB Awards that are coming up later this month for you guys, we just wanted to have a few awards that are just us having fun. And so we put the call out and we got some feedback.

Ben, take us into it.

Ben

We are finally awarding the Girl, You Tried winner of the year. Girl, You Tried, for those of you who have been with us, is something we like to award every season to shows that we think had really good ideas that maybe weren't executed as well as they could have been. We handed out quite a few awards this year. I don't remember all of them right now, but we have selected a winner.

Shan, would you like to announce the winner?

Shan

Ooh, do I get to announce? How exciting. Okay.

The 2024 Girl, You Tried Award goes to Love Is Better The Second Time Around from Japan. [air horn]

Ben

We've already covered this. I'm very happy about the yukata sex, but not about episodes 5 and 6.

Shan

So close to being one of our favorite shows of the year. And that is why it gets this award.

NiNi

Agreed. I am in 100% agreement.

Ben

Other shows that were up for consideration included The Sign, Living With Him, Ayaka Is in Love with Hiroko, I Hear the Sunspot—oof I got beef with that show—and The On1y One, Shan got beef with that one.

Shan

I got beef with that show!

NiNi

I think we made the right choice in terms of the final winner, though. I think of all of those the one that was closest to actually making it.

Ben

A bunch of those guys are in another MBS not-BL right now where they're all playing boxers, hugging each other without their shirts on, and sweatin’ and shit.

NiNi

Yes, more information? You're burying the lede here. Like, I need to know where I can find it.

Ben

[laughs] Nowhere, man. It's not in the Western circles right now.

NiNi

The fan subbers are letting me down.

Ben

I got a couple of Japanese fans keeping me in the loop. They send me little clips and it's all my favorite boys wrestling on the ground and shit in dark gyms.

NiNi

Why don't they make more shows like that?

Shan

This is what I'm saying!

Ben

Let me tell you, Petty's been demanding this BL for like four years.

Shan

It's true.

NiNi

I think we are actually getting a boxing BL next year.

Ben

We are. [everyone laughs]

Onto our next award. It's time to award our Trash Fave of the year.

NiNi, please describe the award.

NiNi

Trash Fave is basically my favorite award. I cannot defend any of these shows, but I had such a good fucking time with them.

Shan

Our Trash Fave winner of the year is Gym Affairs from, wait for it, China! Did you all know that China put out a real modern BL with kissing on screen in it this year? Well, they did, and it's called Gym Affairs, and it's winning the Trash Fave award because, listen. This show is not a quality production. It was clearly filmed on some iPhones with just whatever guys they could find around. But you know what? I respect it because it had a narrative, it had a clear story, and they are doing what they can in China to get these queer stories out, one way or another.

Ben

It really spoke to guerrilla filmmaking, like they just really popped up somewhere, filmed what they needed to and got the fuck out of there.

Shan

And it's a cute little show. It goes quick. Watch it on YouTube, it's free. It's a fast binge. It's charming. The actors are cute. It's a good time. We can't really call it a good show because the production quality is so low, but it's a fave. All of our friends who have seen it had a great time watching it. You should join in.

(Transcript note: The show has since been pulled from YouTube.)

Ben

Our other two shows for consideration were Kidnap and OMG!Vampire. [NiNi laughs]

NiNi

Yup.

Shan

O-M-G Exclamation Point Vampire.

NiNi

I was gonna say that y'all have very different definitions of trash than I do because even though I haven't seen Gym Affairs yet, from what I've heard about it, it is not trash it is just produced on a shoestring. Whereas Kidnap was actual trash.

Shan

Yeah, Kidnap is super trashy. Like, trashy in the sense of, like, pulp novels.

NiNi

It's called Kidnap, but there's only half a kidnapping, maybe.

Shan

Did anyone actually get kidnapped in Kidnap? That was a Gaga joke.

Ben

This show was so stupid.

NiNi

At one point the guy kidnapped himself. Like, there was a lot going on.

Ben

This show was so stupid that I got bored with Ohm Pawat, and was like I can’t do this anymore.

Shan

I could only sustain myself by looking at Ohm's arms for so long.

NiNi

This is what makes it my Trash Fave. I watched it till the very end because my favorite two things were in it, Ohm Pawat and being babygirl.

Shan

You know what I think this is, NiNi? I think it's like when you open the trash can and you look inside, you sometimes find, like, this gem of a thing that someone threw in the trash. And that's what Gym Affairs is. And Kidnap is all the actual nasty, dirty trash around it.

NiN

Ohm, we love you on this podcast, sir. We love you so much and that's all we're gonna say.

Shan

Free Ohm from this trash. That's what I want to say.

Ben

We love you, even though all of Tumblr celebrated your character getting shot again, just like a few weeks ago.

Shan

And I don't think any of us actually watched OMG!Vampire.

Ben

Our friends loved it. They had a great time with Lee and Frank's final show together.

Shan

Several of our friends submitted it and they had a great time watching it. They highly recommend it if you're into vampires that are, apparently, very bad at being vampires. [NiNi laughs] You know, you should check that out if that's your thing.

Ben

Onto my favorite award, it's time to award the BEST BOY!

NiNi

The Namgoong Best Boy Award, which I promise I'm gonna watch Light On Me this year. I promise, I promise.

Ben

NiNi, I swear to God.

All right. Shan, I'm putting this in my resolutions at the end of this. If NiNi does not watch Light On Me, we are not doing this show next year. [NiNi laughs] I've had enough. I have a list of shows that are non-negotiable for the next awards show. Light On Me and Rainbow Prince.

NiNi

Okay, I will. I absolutely will.

Ben

You will watch them. There will be no more arguing about this!

NiNi

Okay, we're not arguing. It was never an argument. It's just more kind of, it always gets pushed down to the bottom of the list, but I promise you this year, bestie, this year.

Ben

Namgoong is the best boy and is the reason why we have this award. And this year, the award for Best Boy who did everything he could for the gays goes to Yai from The Sign. [air horn]

Congratulations, sir. We loved everything about you. We loved your arms. We loved your heart. We loved your wife.

Shan

Mostly loved the wife the most.

NiNi

I definitely had a lot to say about those arms. I'm sorry, I'm spacing out thinking about them now.

Shan

This award is for the best supporting male friend who is all about helping the couple get together.

Ben

He was so great. Good job, Yai.

NiNi

Yai absolutely did that.

Ben

What a mess of a show, but you had a clear throughline.

NiNi

I just loved him saying, “Where were you discussing the problem? The bed or the sofa?” I think that was one of my favorite lines.

Shan

He was mischievous.

Ben

Other boys in consideration were Ryoga from I Became the Main Role of a BL Drama for his feathers and his support of his friends by tricking them into having a date and also telling Akafuji he was aggravating and then giving him useful advice.

Shan

He was a real one. He was helpful.

NiNi

He was the realest.

Ben

Our last boy is Ryosuke from The Fragrance You Inherit, a last minute addition to this list.

Shan

The drama did technically end right before the end of 2024. Ryosuke is the lead’s, Sakura, of the show, he's her bestie. He's been supporting her since college. He's the person who knows her and who props her up through all the hard things in her life, including her gay disappointment, her crushed, unrequited love, and parenting her son who is a perfect angel boy. He's there for it all. He is there to help her out. We love him.

Ben

He is also played by Takeda Kouhei.

Shan

He sure is! Looking excellent. Sir, I salute you.

Ben

If you don't know who that is, you better ask somebody.

Shan

You better not come ask me, because I'll get mad at you.

Ben

On to my second favorite award. The Yiwha Best Girl Award!

NiNi

Yiwha! We love her over here!

Ben

I absolutely love Yiwha. I love that that show, all these years later, spawned the best girl and worst girls award. The Best Girl, like the Best Boy, goes to the girl who supports the boys the right way and is there for them and willing to scrap for them.

NiNi, please hand out the award to our Best Girl.

NiNi

Best Girl for 2024 is Lukpeach from Knock Knock Boys!. [air horn] All she wanted in life was to spread good information about sexual health and behavioral practices, to support her boys and to write non-creepy fan fiction about them. I salute you, Miss Mama. You are the best.

Shan

Yes, support her in all her endeavors.

Ben

She was a great character. I really like her as part of the evolution of the shipper character. I'm okay with them finding a way to write girls that really love gay boys and want them to have a good time without it being creepy.

Beyond Lukpeach, we also had Jane from Knock Knock Boys!, Ju from Century of Love, and Pai from Cherry Magic Thailand on this list.

I liked Pai a lot and she was a strong contender for this award, particularly because she stole a motorcycle to make sure those boys had the scene they needed to have. And then she left. She explicitly said, “That scene is for them. I got what I needed. I know my boys are going to make this happen.”

Shan

Pai was great at knowing the line between supporting and inserting herself where she didn't belong, and she never crossed the line.

Ben

What a great character. This was a pretty decent year for fujo characters in the genre. That is one of the positive things I can say about this year in terms of trope-related stuff.

We have introduced a new award this year.

Shan

What exciting stuff.

Ben

I'm gonna let you award this one, Shan. This is our Bridesmaid Award. This goes to…

Shan

Hyunho from Let Free the Curse of Taekwondo. [air horn] Oh, I love it. This award is for the second leads. The character that can never win, but that still manages to make you kind of want them to and who makes you sympathetic for them when they inevitably lose. I think Hyunho was the platonic ideal of the kdrama second lead in Let Free the Curse of Taekwondo. He is definitely a deserving winner of this Bridesmaid Award.

Ben

Our other two people in consideration were Sangwon for Love for Love's Sake, because he got into a whole fight for the gays and then got mad that they kept asking him for help for the rest of the show. And Kurosawa from Ossan's Love Returns, because this man has not won five times now. Incredible.

Shan

He will always be the Bridesmaid eternally. But yeah, this is really Korea's category to lose, because this is what they do. Second leads are specifically a Korean trope.

NiNi

Good job, Korea.

Ben

We are once again awarding our favorite version of BGP!

Shan

Ben, remind the people what BGP means.

Ben

BGP is a term that we got from Bump Up Business, a terrible BL from the boys of OnlyOneOf, a Korean kpop group whose entire business model is pretending to be gay, and they made a whole show about idols who had to work together in a what they called a business gay performance to sell records, and wanted us to pretend that it was a real romance. Absolutely insane behavior. The audacity!

Shan

I can't believe this show happened.

NiNi

I'm sorry! “Is our business gay performance over before it began?” [everyone laughs]

Ben

Oh my god!

NiNi

I watched that entire show specifically because they told me that line was in it.

Ben

She, NiNi was like, Shan and Ben are just cackling. This has to be ridiculous if the two of them have completely lost composure over it. And she was not let down.

We love the term BGP because it's about the performance of the relationship for consumption. Shan, please announce our winners.

Shan

This year's BGP award goes to Daou and Offroad, the only potential winners of our hearts.

NiNi

I have to agree, there wasn't even a question. This was definitely Daou and Offroad’s to lose this year because, sir, the performance is performance-ing.

Ben

They got a really solid outing with Century of Love despite everything that we now know was happening on that set and around that production. And they have continued to make their music and handle their performances, and they're coming to America this year. That's a huge deal.

Shan

They have a fan meet in the United States that is already sold out. These boys are making moves.

Ben

I'm very excited for them. Also up for consideration were Chris Chiu, aka Modi, and Kurt Huang for Unknown the series, because they went way hard on their Taiwanese BGP. Tumblr may not have been paying that much attention to it, but those boys were working very hard. And of course, we're going to acknowledge Yin and War, who got a whole show financed on BGP alone.

NiNi

That is impressive.

Shan

Pretty impressive.

Ben

All right, our final award, our most fun award. We are handing out the Blorbo of the Year Award. This is for the character that took over your brain and you just could not let them go. Every time someone tried to take it from you, you just bit down harder and shook.

Shan

Ben, would you like to announce the winner?

Ben

The winner of the Blorbo of the Year award goes to Go Young from Love in the Big City. [air horn] What a great year for us and that character.

NiNi and Shan in unison

He is the moment. [all laugh]

NiNi

Oh my gosh, I can't get it out of my head. You owe me a coke.

Ben

Yeah, it's gotta be a coke because you guys can't have any more drinks after Friday night. [laughs]

NiNi

Oh my god, no more, no more, no more drinks, no more.

Shan

Keep it, keep it to soda, non-alcoholic. Nope.

Ben

Go Young was so important to us. He is one of the most dynamic and complicated queer characters we got to experience this year. I am so thankful that despite all of the drama, we were able to get Nam Yoon Su and friends’ version of these characters. My goodness.

Shan

I feel unbelievably blessed that they got an actor of Nam Yoon Su’s caliber to play him in the drama. I never in my wildest dreams could have expected that.

NiNi

And he put his neck, his back, his pussy, and his crack into that.

Shan

Holy shit. Me and NiNi are kdrama watchers. We have seen him in other work. He transformed himself for this role. It was impressive shit.

Ben

Our runner up, who we had a great deal of discussion about and who almost won this award until like five minutes before this recording, was Dynamite from Cooking Crush, another complicated queer character with a ton of heart that we deeply loved. I've been thinking about this boy all year.

Shan

As often is the case when a character you love is misunderstood by others, it makes you love them even more fiercely. That definitely came up with Dynamite.

Ben

A lot of you don't watch anime, but Twig and I were not gonna let this go unremarked. We wanted to acknowledge Hisashi from Twilight Out of Focus, along with Shion, who was my favorite boy from that show. I love that pink Twig so much! He said, I'm going to high school and I'm gonna get me a motherfucking boyfriend. And he did.

Shan

The pink twink!

Ben

I love that pink twink so much! He said, I'm going to high school and I'm gonna get me a motherfucking boyfriend. And he did.

Shan

He did. He did it all.

NiNi

Good job, anime twink. I think there is a missing person here. I can't believe that Ben left this one out considering how he started the year. Aoyanagi Hajime?

Ben

He's not on my Blorbo list. I think about that boy a lot. But does he take over my whole soul like these boys? He does not.

NiNi

Mmm, interesting.

Ben

I admire him deeply, and I think Nachika did a great job with him, but they're getting the sequel, so. It ain't over yet! [laughs]

Shan

We'll get to talk about him again.

NiNi

We're gonna talk about them in 2024 and 2025. Fantastic.

Ben

I'm winning. I might not see Go Young ever again, but I'ma see my boy again this year. A win for me.

NiNi

Excellent, good job.

Congratulations to the winners of all of our fan awards and our runners-up. These are not VIIBs so you do not get a plate but we will figure out something, I don't know.

Ben

I'm gonna send you a cup.

Shan

Souvenir mug!

NiNi

At least it's not a koozie. A koozie is just disrespectful. We discussed this before.

Ben

I know that if we sent Gap Jakarin a mug that said Best Boy, he would absolutely show it on the IG.

Shan

He totally would and he’d pose with it!

NiNi

I believe that. 100% he would totally do it. Maybe, maybe he would even put it next to his bicep.

Shan

Maybe we should consider sending it.

[Ben laughs]

NiNi

And I would have a plotz moment. He's large, people, you know how I feel about the large ones.

00:55:49 QL Resolutions

Ben

It's time for our QL resolutions. Shan has pulled up the record on the things we said we would do for this year. It's time for the call-outs. We'll start with me.

Shan, proceed.

Shan

All right, so Ben stated a couple resolutions last year. His kind of not that serious one was he said he will watch 100 shows in 2024. And his second, which he was more serious about, is that he would be backing off of shows when he's getting aggravated with them sooner than he used to and just being more willing to stop watching shows.

So Ben, you've definitely failed the first goal, but I think you did good on the second one.

Ben

I did great. I engaged with 75 Asian QLs this year, but I dropped 26.

Shan

That's big for you. That was a big mental wall that you had to move through this year and you did a great job, bestie.

NiNi

Four for you again, Glen Coco. Four for you.

[Ben laughs]

Shan

Are you feeling better now that you started backing off shows you're not liking?

Ben

Honestly, yeah, I feel way better that I'm recognizing when a show is irritating me and I'm not forcing myself to watch it for this weird sense of ego. Like, “It's really important that I say something about this.” I don't care anymore. Who cares? It sucks. I'm not writing about this.

The core of what I want to do is, I want to convince uninitiated BL viewers to watch BL. There is no value for me in watching a show that I despise or just isn't working for me, because I'm not using it as a reference to try and get people who might like BL to watch BL. I'm not gonna ask them to watch a mid-tier BL. So it gets dropped.

Shan

All right, NiNi, in January, 2024, you said your resolution for the year was that you were gonna stop picking on New Siwaj. Let's check in on that, how you feeling?

NiNi

I definitely had a great time with a New Siwaj show this year and talked about it on the show. These resolutions do have power so you gotta be real careful when you make them. I won't say entirely that I have stopped picking on New Siwaj. I'm still gonna pick on him if he deserves it. But I liked something that he did this year.

Ben

Don't worry. He definitely deserves it.

Shan

But you found something nice to say about him this year. You did.

NiNi

I did find nice things to say about him this year. So I think that I have kept that resolution.

Shan

We did great this year guys, because my resolution from last year was to be more aware of when I'm getting no joy out of a show and cut it off and not feel bad about not finishing it. And I did that this year. I also got better at not starting shows I didn't think I was going to like. And I think that that was a good and healthy choice and I'm glad that I did it because as we've been talking about, the genre just keeps getting bigger. There are so many shows. We can't watch everything and we can't make ourselves miserable trying to force ourselves to watch the things we're not enjoying.

I'm real proud of us. I think we did good on our resolutions this year.

NiNi

Excellent, good job. So let's look ahead. What are the resolutions that we're all making this year 2025?

Ben?

Ben

I have no fucking idea. What should I do?

Shan

Do you have something about how you wanna write or how you wanna engage on Tumblr?

Ben

I'm probably going to focus on writing more reviews this year. I stopped doing Stray Thoughts but I don't want to stop writing about things I loved. I think I'm gonna push myself to write more reviews and stuff. I think I'm going to start writing on Tumblr more about Western stuff. I think I'm going to start writing more reviews about more generalized queer work that I'm engaged with. That'll probably be my thing this year, writing more thoughtful pieces about work after it's done instead of yapping about it in real time.

NiNi

Okay, Shan, how about you? What are you resolving to do this year?

Shan

I was thinking about this a bit. I think there's a couple things on my mind. I want to continue quitting shows if I'm really just getting no joy out of them. I want to continue being more selective about what I start in the first place. Another thing I've been doing more of lately that I think is working for me and that I want to continue is waiting to binge shows that I suspect I will not enjoy very much week to week. For me, it makes a real difference how I watch a show, because if I'm watching weekly and participating in a weekly discussion, I'm going to naturally think more about the show, I'm gonna dig into it more. And when these shows are kind of weak or mediocre, I'm spending an awful lot of time thinking about what isn't working. So, I'm trying to identify those shows where I just can tell I'm gonna have a better time if I get it over with quick instead of stretching it out.

I also wanna stay committed to continuing to have variety in my media diet. I want to continue to watch things outside of QL, want to be better about continuing to mix in Western shows here and there. If you just watch too much of the same thing all the time, you really lose perspective. So I wanna be attentive to that this year and make sure I'm changing it up.

Ben

You heard it here, friends. Shan is joining me in watching over 200 movies a year!

NiNi

I'm not sure that's exactly what she said, bestie. [laughs]

Ben

She said she wants to mix it up! I got a great Indonesian film for you to watch.

Shan

I will say this. This is my big gap. I just don't watch many movies. I like long-form stories.

Ben

Mm-mm. I’m challenging you, Shan. It's not like I hate movies. You’re gonna watch some movies with me, Shan. I watched a great Chinese film from 2015 last night!

Shan

Ben’s resolution is to force Shan to watch movies. I don’t hate movies. They just don't fill my soul the same way, you know? They're just here and gone so quick.

NiNi

Yeah, if I really love something, I definitely need to sit in it for a while. So I am definitely more on the long-form storytelling side of things, as well.

Ben

A great film just stays with you forever. All right, we're starting with Ghost Dog.

Shan

All right, you can make your list. NiNi, what’s yours?

NiNi

My resolution this year is to finally watch some of the shit I have been meaning to watch. My watch lists keep growing and growing and growing and I need to put some time and effort into actually watching some of this shit. Some of it because Ben is going to stop talking to me if I don't watch it. And we can't have that.

Ben

It's true! I'm glad you recognized that that is a real outcome!

NiNi

There's definitely some things that are on the list I gotta get past. I think I've finally gotten past the uncanny valley effect so that I can watch Light On Me. And I'm gonna watch Eternal Yesterday. Finally, I am gonna watch Rainbow Prince.

Shan

I forgot you haven't watched Eternal Yesterday?!

Ben

I haven’t!

Shan

Oh my god.

NiNi

To be fair to me, I do not think that is the thing for me to have watched when I was in the mental state that I was in for most of last year.

Shan

It's very true. You need to wait for the right moment, but I'm excited for you to watch it.

NiNi

I am looking forward now that I'm feeling mentally better to getting into some of the things that I have meant to watch, but just not been able to hit play on. Like I said, these resolutions have power, so It's definitely happening this year.

Ben

I'm excited. My resolution is to torment Shan into watching movies. That's great. I feel good about this one.

Shan

He's getting revenge because I have forced him to like kdramas and he's mad.

NiNi

You have gotten Ben to watch kdramas, cdramas.

Ben

I have watched Goblin, I watched The Rebel Princess. What else did you fucking force me to watch? School 2013. That is like 6,000 hours of TV. You owe me a few movies.

Shan

I sure did! School 2013. He's starting Healer again. Listen, the truth is that Ben likes the kdramas. He hates that he likes them, but he likes them.

Ben

They're just so fucking long. I just spent two hours on a fucking episode of a kdrama. I could have watched one of my fucking movies during this time.

NiNi

Speaking of movies, y’all have got to watch Paradise of Thorns as soon as you're able.

Shan

As soon as it's out.

Ben

I believe it becomes available very soon after we finish recording this.

Shan

Yeah, I'm excited to watch that one. And I still need to watch How to Make Millions When Grandma Dies.

NiNi

Have you not watched that yet?

Shan

No, it was only on New York screens for like a few days and I didn't make it during.

Ben

We have literally not had access in the US, girl! Like this, it's one of those things where like I've been intentionally waiting because we know it's coming to American distro.

NiNi

It's on that Oscar shortlist, so it's definitely coming.

Shan

Yeah, we need it. It's gonna come for sure. It'll be in theaters and I'll go watch it.

01:04:45 - Affirmations and Hopes for the Future

Ben

Okay, affirmations for the year. Things that we really liked that we would like to see more of. Number one, Kongthup Productions. Good job this year, guys.

Shan

We love them.

NiNi

We do. This is the studio that produced Knock Knock Boys!, Monster Next Door. There was a GL.

Ben

Apple My Love.

NiNi

Apple My Love, yeah.

Ben

They have been a really fun breath of fresh air in the genre this year, and I really hope that whoever is having fun funding them is getting returns so that they can keep doing that.

Shan

They are out here producing original scripts that are interesting and that have things to say.

Ben

Next, despite how much I deeply despised My Love Mix Up Thailand, I would like to continue to see more of these cross-country collaborations. There were a lot of interesting results we got from that this year. We got Unknown the series out of it. We got Love in the Air: Koi No Yokan.

Shan

I loved it.

Ben

We got Cherry Magic Thailand. And we got a couple of interesting projects where it was kind of funded in both places. Like Eccentric Romance, Meet You at the Blossom, Battle of the Writers. There may have been Chinese money involved in that one.

NiNi

There definitely was.

Ben

It's very interesting seeing these sort of cross-cultural collaborations. And even within the countries, Oxin Films and, what is the other group's name? They teamed up and made Haunted Hearts. It wasn't good, but they worked with someone else.

Shan

I'm interested in these productions adapting works from other countries in these kind of joint funding models. Love in the Air Koi was great because the MeMindY team was deeply involved in that production and there was a lot of cross marketing. They had actors from the original Love in the Air Thailand cameo on the Japanese show. It was cool to see that kind of cooperation going on.

Ben

Lastly, and we say this every year, more GLs. There needs to be way more lesbians in this genre than there are.

Shan

And we need to give them good stories.

NiNi

And even though there was a ramp up this year, because there was actually quite a bit of GL this year, I can't point to one GL that I saw or was truly that interested in this year that really hooked me.

Ben

She Loves to Cook happened this year.

NiNi

I mean, yes, yes, okay. She Loves to Cook, She Loves to Eat, but that goes in the category, the same category as What Did You Eat Yesterday? It's eternal, it's everlasting.

Ben

I'm sorry, you didn't think Chaser Game W changed the face of the game?

NiNi

No.

Shan

There were a lot of GLs this year, but most of them had, like, really terrible writing. What's wild to me, and this has been a really interesting thing that we've started seeing in the recent months. These shows, even when they're not very good in terms of the quality of the story, they're really popular because the fans are so thirsty for this content. The QL viewership wants GL and these studios need to put some real resources behind making these shows and making them good because there is a lot of potential there.

NiNi

I think GL's kind of following the trajectory that BL followed, which is a shame because BL sort of set the trajectory already, so they could have shortcutted all of that.

Shan

Can we not just skip to the good content part?

Ben

Well, they did try to make GL SOTUS, so hang in there, girls. [everyone laughs]

That's going to end it for us. We will see you all in the coming weeks as we make our way through the VIIB Awards. I'm very excited.

NiNi

And a little super special little treat for you before we get to the VIIBs, which I will not spoil but it's gonna be fun.

That is going to wrap us up on our Year In Review. Oh my god guys, another year. This is our third Year In Review.

Ben

My goodness.

NiNi

Absolutely wild. This is our 50-something episode. We're getting up to 60. We're about to be retirees up in here. We love it.

See you guys next time, we out. Say bye to the people, Shan.

Shan

Bye people!

NiNi

Say bye to the people, Ben.

Ben

Peace!

#ben and nini's conversations #podcast #the conversation #on art #lgbtq #bl series #thai bl #winter series #japanese bl #taiwanese bl #korean bl #filipino bl #Spotify

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mediumgayitalian · 10 months ago

Text

part one

———

Finding parking is, as expected, hard, largely in part because Michael wants to get them all killed.

“— yeah, that’s right, shitwad! Back off! We were here —”

“Will you please shut the fuck up,” Lee hisses, jamming the switch for Michael’s window. Unfortunately, Michael is sticking his fucking head out of it, so it won’t close.

“This fucking guy! This fucking guy thinks he can swoop up to our spot —”

“Motherfucker we’re in Wilmington, do you want to get fucking shot —”

“He can wait his godsdamn turn like everybody else! Hey, fucker —”

He succeeds, finally, in yanking his brother back in by the scruff of his neck and speeding away from the shitwad in question.

“I can’t believe you let him walk all over us!”

“If I end up with a bullet hole through my windshield, I am kicking your ass, Michael. I won’t need to worry about some trigger happy mortal taking you out. I’ll kill you.”

“Drama queen. Now we’re never gonna find a damn spot.”

They do, in fact, find a damn spot. Within forty-three seconds of Michael saying that, actually, Will points out not just a parking spot but a pull-through, which Lee takes, smirking. Michael aims a kick for his knee.

“Go help Will unbuckle, you bitter bitch. I gotta grab something.”

Ignoring both Michael’s grumbling and Will’s insistence that he can unbuckle himself, thank you very much, Lee jogs over to the trunk. He grabs his and Michael’s bows, just in case, and carefully grabs the bundle of roses he bought from the stand across from his apartment. The stems are a little crushed, but the flowers all seem fine, full and bright, sunny yellow. Even the paper is relatively uncrinkled, folding delicately around the thorny leaves.

Michael nods when he sees them. “Nice.”

“Thanks.” Lee tosses him his bow, slinging his own over his back. It flickers with his quiver under the Mist, settling eventually to look like a small backpack. “Got ‘em this morning.”

“Can I hold them?” Will asks.

“Sure, kiddo.”

He lays them gently in his arms, the same way Cass has taught him to bundle herbs and plants when they gather for poultices. Every step is suddenly much more deliberate, avoiding potholes and cracks in the pavement so he doesn’t trip and crush them under his body. When he nearly walks in front of a car, not paying attention, Michael plants a hand on his head, guiding him around like a claw machine.

“Okay,” Lee says, holding open the door. “Let’s find Diana.”

The lobby is crowded. There are people everywhere — families, grandparents, and of course dozens of dancers, shining hair pieces glinting in the low lights, tutus and rhinestones peeking out of studio sweatsuits. Faces heavy with stage makeup bleed into each other. The building is abuzz with sound, chatter and laughter and shouting and twenty different songs playing at once. Lee can hardly believe they’re all fitting in the same building, and almost convinces himself it’s actually enchanted, smaller on the outside. He glances down when Will backs into him, flowers clutched tighter to his chest, and rests a firm hand on his shoulder. He hooks his finger around Michael’s hoodie, too, and for once he doesn’t complain.

“You see her?” he shouts over the noise. Or, well, Lee’s pretty sure that’s what he said. He shakes his head, anyway, and Michael scowls, standing uselessly on his tiptoes. Even if that didn’t put him just barely over most people’s shoulders, the throng of people is too thick to see much. People elbow and push each other around to meet up with family members, and groups of dancers do their best to practice their routines in what limited space is available. Lee has felt less claustrophobic in Times Square at Christmas.

In a stroke of brilliance, in his very humble opinion, he lets go of Will’s shoulder, puts both hands under his arms, and hauls him over his head, settling him on his shoulders.

“Keep an eye out,” he shouts.

Will grins, tugging on Lee’s hair with his free hand in confirmation.

One hand clamped over Will’s knees, the other still hooked on Michael’s hoodie, Lee starts to wade through the crowd. He can start to see, as he gets farther from the door, the entrance to the stage, the ticket stands, the coat check. Several banners hang temporarily from the ceiling and stick to doorways, welcoming them all to the Twenty-Sixth Annual Believe Dance Comp!, and a table laden with trophies sits proudly by the stage doors.

Sitting under one of the banners, Lee notices a group of girls of varying ages, all wearing the green and purple Stage Lights Dance Academy Cass sometimes wears. He guides them closer, scanning each stage makeup-ed face to try and find his sister, but stops short before he gets too close.

Two girls, sitting at the head of the group, mime twisting their hair, exaggeratedly anxious looks on their faces. The rest of the girls roar with laughter.

Lee feels something heavy settle in his stomach.

“You think anyone will come for her?” a younger girl asks, hushed so that Lee can barely hear her over the crowd.

One of the older girls snorts. “Are you kidding? The only way her mom will come is if there’s an open bar!”

Lee is reminded of the one and only time he’d fought a group of empousai. There’d been a trio of them a Central Park, on a field trip he’d gone on with his ninth grade class, surrounding one of the oak dryads. They’d crooned at her, tugging on her leafy hair and trailing clawed fingers down her handmade dress, calling out backhanded compliments. But Lee’s skin felt like it was crawling, he remembers, and the dryad had been tense, green tears building in her eyes. Every bleat of their laughter had grated his ears, and he’d snapped, eventually, ripping off his bow and picking them off one by one. The third one had seen him, chasing him away from his group, but he’d been so mad that he wasn’t even scared. The dryad hadn’t done anything. They got nothing from poking at her. They’d just done it to be cruel, because it was fun for them.

“I don’t even know why she has the gall to show up. She missed the final practice.”

“Miss Breanna likes her, that’s why,” one of the girls scoffs. “Of course she can skiff off practice and still compete. She thinks she’s so much better than us.”

Michael shifts forward. Lee throws out an arm to stop him, shooting him a warning look.

“You think anyone’ll take your side?” he murmurs.

“They’re talking about —!”

“I know, Michael.”

“They can’t talk about her like that!”

“I know, Michael.” He forces his jaw to unclench. “I know.”

“Yeah, well, favourite or not,” another dancer says wickedly, “her seats will be empty again. And she’ll walk out empty-handed and alone, like she always does.”

Most of the adults milling about the lobby hold flowers, like they do. Except unlike them, their bouquets are large, unlike them the stems are not crushed, unlike them they are wrapped in ribbons, in embroidered banners. One is, even, shaped as a ballet slipper, and Lee notices the oldest girl in the group, the one who made the joke about Cass’s mother, eyeing it, smirking.

He pictures Cass holding it next to all the other girls from her studio. With their big, normal families, their wide smiles, their fancy cameras, their beautiful, expensive bouquets. Pictures the smirks that will be sent her way, the whispers. They can’t — gods, what was he thinking?

“What time is it?” he asks.

Michael glances at his watch. “Quarter to.”

“Hm.”

In her frantic IM, yesterday, Diana had ordered them to be here by noon. From what little he knows about dance competitions, Cass’s performance will be sometime after that, nestled among the many. When exactly, he doesn’t know.

If they leave now, wagering, they could miss it. And that would be the worst thing of them all. But…

“Will,” he says, suddenly getting an idea. “C’mere.”

He reaches up and sets Will back on the ground, clutching his hand as he weaves through the crowd, beelining for the far corner. He stops at a sign with a little stick person on it, gently taking the flowers from Will’s hold and passing them back to Michael.

“Listen to me carefully.” He crouches to Will’s level, meeting his eyes. “Diana is — somewhere, in there, getting Cass ready. Michael and I can’t go in there. We need you to go in and act really confused.”

“That will be very easy, because I am confused,” Will protests. “Why do I have to go in there? I don’t even really know why we’re here!”

“Just — go in,” Lee insists. “Trust me. If I give you more instructions, it’ll ruin it.”

Huffing, Will goes.

“Brilliant,” Michael mutters. “Lose the kid and Diana. Great plan, Lee.”

“Come on, does no one trust me?”

“No one knows what you’re doing, dude! You hang around Carter for five minutes and suddenly you think you’re Mr. Plan Guy —”

Lee flushes. “That is not what this is about!”

“I am not missing this! I swear Lee, if we’re late —”

“We’re not gonna be late!”

“Why is it that every boy on Earth is actually stupid,” hisses a new voice. The change room door busts open, damn near cracking under the heel of a heavy boot, and Diana comes striding out behind it, Will perched on her hip. Her short dark hair sticks out in every which way, shoulders tense as a line, mouth twisted in a scowl. Immediately, Lee and Michael snap their mouths shut.

“Hey,” Will complains, pouting.

She adjusts her hold on him, pressing a kiss to his temple. “Not you, sweetpea. Only Thing One and Thing Two, over here.” She glares at them. “Why did I find him wandering around in the change room? I told you to wait for me in the lobby! I swear you two want to — ruin this!”

“Hey,” Lee says, flinching back. “You know we don’t, Diana. That’s not fair.”

She scrubs a hand down her face, sighing. “I know. I know. I’m sorry. It’s just —” She presses another kiss to Will’s cheek and sets him down, leaning on the doorframe. “It’s been a rough morning. She keeps trying to call her mom, and — well.”

Lee hates that those girls were right. He hates it. He hates that they’ve been right before, that Cass has walked off the stage, face blank, alone. Hearing their giggling, probably. Twisting her hair around her fingers as she tries to hold it together.

His jaw tightens.

Not this fucking time.

“What time is Cass on?” he asks

“…Her solo at one-thirty,” Diana says. “But —”

“Great.” Lee grabs each brother’s shoulder, pulling them back. “We won’t be late, Diana, I promise.”

“Wait! Lee — dude, what are you —”

“We’ll meet you inside! Save us seats!”

“Lee! Get back here!”

“Seats!” Lee calls, glancing back. He makes a vague gesture in return to her incredulous, spread-wide hands, trying to convey the Situation. “We won’t be late! Promise!”

“I’ll kill you if you are!” she relents. “Be fucking back on time!”

———

In hindsight, it would have been smarter to take the car.

For whatever reason, both Lee and Michael assumed there would be a flower stand just outside the theatre. Neither of them had seen one on the way in, but it made sense. If Lee had a flower business, he’d probably put it next to a theatre. Where else would you put it?

Regardless, there isn’t anything close across the street, or even on the whole block. Will sits on his shoulders again, because it’s easier than trying to guide him, and every so often he glances at the watch Beckendorf made him, calling out the time.

“Will,” Lee begs, veering around a street corner, “you are not helping.”

“I am so!” He checks his watch again. “Twenty-seven minutes ‘til Cass starts. That’s why we’re here, right? To watch Cass dance?”

“So long as we make it in time,” Michael stresses. “Shit, Lee, maybe we should just head back. The flowers we have are fine —”

“Cass deserves more than fine.”

Michael snaps his mouth shut. “I know that.”

Lee slumps. “I — know you know. Sorry.”

Their steps fall in synch, footsteps making level prints in the light dusting of snow. On occasion a passing car drowns them out, but for the most part the only sound is their breathing, and Will picking at his nails. The shifting of their jackets.

“You’ll never undo it, Lee.” The road cross button makes a heavy click noise under Michael’s fist. The countdown for the walking man is loud, four, three, two, one. Three of the little lights are broken, making it look like its chest is cracked open. “There’s some shit you just can’t fix.”

“I’m not trying to — fix her,” he argues weakly. “I’m just…”

He can’t push away the horrible ache in his chest. The rapidly expanding feeling, the sinking chasm of expecting and hoping and being disappointed. Of looking out into the crowd to find a familiar face and not finding one. Of hearing giggles as you walk past and clenching your teeth, knowing. It balloons, pushing out on his ribcage, forcing its way up his throat.

Michael stops, arms crossed over his chest, eyes narrowed. Lee stares at a spot at the air above his shoulder, swallowing roughly, biting the inside of his cheek hard enough to taste blood.

“You are.”

“I’m not.”

“You are, Lee. You think competing with those assholes is gonna — go back? Gonna magically bring her fucking — hell, bring Dad?”

Lee looks away. “Of course not.”

“We’re going to be there. That’s what matters, isn’t it? That’s what’s really important.”

“Oh, to hell with high horses, Michael. I’m fucking tired of — of pretending it’s okay!” He starts forward again, ignoring the twinge of pain in his skull when Will grips his hair, yelping at the sudden surge forward. Michael jogs to keep up. “It’s — fight these monsters, train these kids, lead your cabin. Ignore the fact that your dad couldn’t be assed to visit a few times a year, he’s an Olympian, after all, you understand. Well, I’m tired of it! I’m tired of —” he trips over a crack in the sidewalk, barely catching himself — “I’m tired of being so damn understanding!”

For a moment Michael says nothing. Lee’s breathing is heavy, shakey, and it takes effort to still the tremble in his hands.

“The girl,” Michael says eventually. “The prissy one, who sat closer to the door.”

“…What about her?”

“I just.” He chews at his bottom lip. “I’m not saying I disagree with you, dude, but you have issues, dude, and shit you need to work out. For real. Besides just —” he gestures broadly at the mostly empty street — “ranting into the air.” Slowly, a smirk spreads across his face. “It would be really, really funny to see her face if Cass walks out with a bouquet three times the size of hers, wouldn’t it.”

Lee matches his grin. “It would be.”

“Betcha she’d seethe.”

“Probably turn purple.”

They turn to each other, finally back in synch.

“Nineteen minutes,” Will pipes up.

Lee startles. He checks his own watch. “Oh, shit. Let’s go.”

———

part three

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bingwriterxo · 2 years ago

Text

backseat

pairing: vada cavell x reader

summary: in which you accidentally make vada jealous

warnings: smut (character is 18+), 18+ (minors DNI), fingering, strap-on sex

word count: 2200+

author's note: killed multiple birds with one stone on this one. also, never wrote strap-on smut before, so hope this is ok...

"You've got this, Y/N," Mia whispered, her face hovering close to yours, voice barely loud enough to hear over the music blaring through her home. "Just...focus."

"I'm trying," you said, your arm raised, a ping pong ball gripped between your forefinger and thumb. "But someone is breathing over my shoulder."

"Oh." She took a step back. "Is that better?"

"Much." You closed one eye, aimed at the last red solo cup on the opposite end of the table, and took your shot. The ball soared through the air, and you swore that time stopped for a moment. Both you and Mia froze as the ball circled the rim of the cup once, twice, before finally dropping in and declaring you guys the winners.

Mia threw her arms around your shoulders in a tight hug. "Let's go!" she squealed,

You flipped off your opponents. "Suck it, bitches!"

"Oh, real classy!" Nick scoffed, taking a sip of his drink. He reached into the cup, pulled out the ball, and threw it at you. It lamely brushed against your side before falling to the ground, rolling off somewhere.

"I declare a rematch!" Vada yelled. "A rematch is being declared!"

Mia pulled away from you. "Nuh-uh! You guys lost fair and square." She pointed down to the cups that were still on the table--the almost full triangle that Nick and Vada had been unable to get rid of. "It's not our fault you guys suck!"

"Yeah! Losers!" you shouted, joining in on the teasing. "Maybe you guys should actually try to be good at the game. That might help."

Vada frowned, her eyebrows furrowing a little, and you wanted to kiss away the wrinkle that formed between them. "You guys are sore winners."

You grinned, crossing the length of the table to take her in your arms. "Aw, don't be so upset, baby," you cooed, pressing a kiss to the tip of her nose. "S'not our faults you're bad at pong."

She groaned. "I think you cheated. There's literally no other explanation, because Nick and I are beasts at pong. We are the unbeatable pair. We never lose, so you must have cheated. Maybe you rigged the ball, or maybe--"

"Or maybe I'm just good at this game?" you interrupted, raising an eyebrow.

"No, no. That can't be it."

You giggled, pulling back from your girlfriend. She didn't let you get far, her own arms snaking around your waist and tugging you back toward her.

"Thought you wanted a rematch?"

Vada shrugged. "That can wait," she said shortly, her eyes flitting down to your lips. She leaned up and kissed you, deep enough that you could taste the vodka on her breath. You hummed against her, a thought sparking in your alcohol-hazed mind.

"I need another drink," you murmured when she pulled away. When she frowned, you asked, "Do you want to come with me?"

"The kitchen is so far, though," she whined, stomping her feet a little like a child, and you chuckled, glancing behind you; the two of you were, maybe, ten steps away from where all of the liquor was.

"Ever the drama queen, Vads," you said. You untangled yourself from her, taking one of her hands loosely in your fingers. "But I need a drink."

She grumbled in defeat but nodded her head. "I'll wait here 'til you return from your journey."

You shook her head, a soft smile on your lips. "I'll be two minutes." You kissed her again and ventured off to the kitchen, your eyes trained on the tequila that Mia had generously bought for the party.

You grabbed a new cup, poured a healthy amount of tequila into it, and topped it off with the nearest mixer you could find--fruit punch. It was a strange combination, but you decided that it wasn't entirely unwelcome when you tasted the drink.

Spinning on your heel, your mind was fully set on finding Vada again and maybe pulling her into the living room, where all of the furniture had been pushed against the walls to create a dance floor. However, you barely got a step in before you immediately collided with another person, your drink spilling down your front.

"Oh, shit!" the person cursed. "Sorry, dude."

You glanced up, catching sight of Kayden, the self-anointed stoner of your grade and...your ex-boyfriend. He was grinning down at you, pearly-whites on display, and you smiled back, glad for once that you two had ended on good terms, or else the interaction would've been more than awkward.

"S'all good, Kayd," you said, bringing up a hand and swatting at any of the extra liquid that hadn't seeped into your shirt yet. Luckily, you had chosen to wear black, so you could barely see the spill. Unluckily, the top didn't cover much, which meant most of your drink landed on bare skin. "Although I am a little sticky now."

"C'mon." He grabbed your wrist. "Lemme help with that." He tugged you toward the sink, and you followed with a shrug, ignoring the neon-red, flashing sign in your head that screamed Don't!

You squeezed past people until you made it to the sink. Kayden already had it turned on, and there was a paper towel in his hand that he ran beneath the water until it was soaked. He whirled around, immediately pressing the paper towel to your stomach. You squealed at the coldness of it, a shiver running down your spine.

"Fuck," you whined. "You couldn't have used warm water?"

He chuckled. "Sorry, man," he drawled. "Too late for that."

You rolled your eyes. "Yeah, no shit. Gimme that." You took the paper towel from his hand to wipe yourself off, but the damage was already done.

"Y/N." Her voice was loud, her tone short. You whipped around, your eyes wide as they landed on a pissed-looking Vada. She stood a few feet away, her arms crossed over her chest and her lips pulled into a deep frown. "What the fuck?" she seethed.

You ignored the voice in your head that was telling you she looked hot, hot, hot all mad like that, and the stirring in your lower belly, and focused on trying to save yourself. "Vads, baby, it's not--"

She lunged forward and grabbed your forearm, the paper towel slipping from your grasp and landing on the floor. Without a second word, she was yanking you through the party. You passed by your friends--Mia with a smirk on her face and Nick with his eyebrows furrowed--and offered them a shrug, just as confused as Nick seemed.

Your confusion only grew as you were tugged out the front door, down the porch steps, through the maze of cars in the driveway, and out the gate.

"Vada, where--"

Things started to click when your own car loomed in the distance. The two of you were approaching the vehicle quickly, and you fumbled around in your pocket for your keys. When you found them, you pushed the button to unlock the doors, perfectly timing it as Vada pulled on the handle and all but threw you into the backseat. It never failed to surprise you whenever she showed how strong she really was.

She climbed in after you, slammed the door shut, and then her lips were on yours, feverish and hot and mad. You moaned against her, trying to push yourself to sit up, but she didn't let you, one hand pressing down on your hip while the other was holding herself up.

She pulled away for the smallest second, and in the light of the streetlamp, you could see that her eyes were half-lidded, dark, and angry. Her head dipped down to your jaw, planting open-mouthed kisses along your skin, before dropping to your neck, teeth nipping and tongue soothing the bites.

"Vads," you breathed out, your hips bucking up.

"You're mine," she gritted into your neck, her leg coming up and pressing against your center.

You groaned, rolling your hips into her thigh and whining at the little contact you got. "Vads, baby, please."

Her hand flew down, fumbling with the button of your pants, and you giggled a little at her ineptness. She glared at you, all signs of possessiveness diminished. "A little help here?"

"Sure, sweetheart." You reached down, knocking her hand to the side, and undid your own pants. Almost as soon as you were done, Vada's hand was pushing yours out of the way so that she could pull your pants down your thighs and slip beneath your underwear, and you whimpered at the feeling of her brushing through your folds.

"Fuck, you're wet," she groaned, two fingers slipping into you easily as her thumb ran over your clit in tight circles.

You sighed at the feeling, hips careening upward as she curled her fingers. "Always for you, baby."

She nipped at your neck again and then pulled her head up, staring down at you. That dark look was back, the kind that made your knees buckle and had you knowing that Vada would have you seeing stars.

"For me? Yeah? Or for Kayden." There was venom in her voice when she said his name, and she thrusted into you harder, a moan slipping past your lips at the pressure.

"You, Vads." You gasped as her fingers curled into the rough spot in you. "Just--just you."

Her pace quickened, her fingers dragging against your walls and her thumb never ceasing on your clit. Your orgasm was fast approaching, urged on by Vada kissing your chest, your neck, your lips--anything she could reach.

"Fuck," you whimpered. "I'm gonna cum." At your words, Vada swiftly pulled out, and you were left a whining mess beneath her. "Vada!" you cried. "I was so close!"

She didn't spare you a second glance as her hand rushed down to her basketball shorts, pushing them down her legs. You furrowed your eyebrows.

"Yeah, I don't think we have room for scissori--" You were cut short by the feel of silicone pressing against your thigh, and you gulped. "You wore--"

"Was hoping the night would end like this," Vada confessed. "Well, not exactly like this. I didn't wanna see your ex trying to clean you off, or whatever the fuck that was, and I was kinda hoping we would be in a bed and not the backseat of your car, but--"

You rolled your eyes, reaching down and tugging on the fake cock between her legs. She gasped and her hips pushed forward, knocking the head of the toy against your folds. "You gonna ramble or are you gonna fuck me?" you teased, grinning at the furrow of her brows.

"Fuck you," she spat, and you were about to repeat the words right back to her when she sank in, pushing the air straight from your lungs and pulling a high-pitched moan from your lips. "Not so bratty now, huh?"

She drove her hips forward, forcing you to take the entire length. You squealed, pleasure rushing through every vein. Your hands shot up and wrapped around her back, nails digging into her t-shirt. She didn't give you a moment to adjust as she pulled out before pushing right back in, setting a brutal pace.

"Jesus, fuck," you groaned, throwing your head back. "It--You feel so good."

She leaned down, her full body weight on you as she fucked into you, lips pressed against your ear. "Can Kayden fuck you like this?" she grunted, her hips speeding up as she said his name.

You could barely hear her over the feeling of her cock in you, drowning out all of your thoughts as she thrusted harder, faster. Vada pulled back, sat up on her knees, and pushed your thighs up, making her go deeper. You gasped, whined, reached to bring her back to you, but she stayed up, pounding harder.

"I said, can Kayden fuck you like this?" she repeated between groans.

"No," you breathed out. "Just you, Vads."

She smirked, cocky, victorious. "God, you're such a good girl." The praise nearly had you falling off the edge, orgasm just out of reach. "My good girl. Takin' my cock so good."

"Fuck, baby. Gonna cum. So close," you babbled.

Her hips started to stutter, letting you know that she was right there with you. She reached down, thumb circling your clit, and you came with a low groan, the sound scratching itself out of your throat.

Vada kept pumping with half-assed thrusts, and you clenched around her, sensitive. "I'm right there," she grunted. She dropped your legs and all but fell onto you. "Fuck, fuck, gonna--"

She moaned into your ear as her orgasm hit, her hips finally slowing. You shuddered beneath her, walls fluttering around the cock still buried in you.

"Jesus, baby," you panted. "Guess I gotta talk to Kayden more often at parties."

She pushed herself up, glaring at you. "Don't even." She slipped out of you, and you shivered, watching as she pulled her shorts up. "Gonna have to wash these shorts when we get home."

You nodded, pulling her back on top of you even though you were hot and sweaty and still a little sticky from your drink. "Gonna have to wash myself when we get home."

Vada grinned against your neck. "I can help you with that."

bonus: "where do you think they're going?" nick asked as he watched vada drag you out the front door.

"i don't think we want to know," mia said.

"should we go after them?"

"definitely not."

#vada cavell x reader #vada cavell #vada x reader #jenna ortega x reader #jenna ortega #jenna x reader #the fallout

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sexyfoxlady · 1 year ago

Text

Missing You📱

Father-Figure!Satoru Gojo x Mother-Figure!Reader

Summary: young!Megumi/Tsumiki wants to talk to father-figure!Satoru Gojo on the phone who is away on a mission

⚠️WARNINGS⚠️ one curse word 'shit' butt other than that nothing 🤷‍♀️ (imk in comments)

"haha...no Toru everything is fine here,you just make sure you get home all in one piece"

Tsumiki perks up after hearing you use Satoru's nickname 'Toru' she didn't know who you were talking to before that because you walked out of your room on the call but now Tsumiki knows it's her father on the other side of the phone she zoomed off her spot from the couch placing the book she was reading on the spot she was sitting, running over to you to speak to Satoru

"Excuse me Mama but I want to say hi to Papa" Tsumiki asked politely and sweetly just like the angel child she is

"Aw of course baby...Toru,Tsumiki wants to say hi...ok here you go" handing the phone to Tsumiki with a gentle head pat to her head before walking into the kitchen to make a light snack for the kiddos

"Hi Papa!"

"Heyo my little monkey how are you, you being helpful for mama, how was school, learn anything new today, miss you guys so much"

Tsumiki giggles at Satoru overload of questions before answering him

"I'm doing good and Mama doesn't let me help as much as I want, keeps saying I do a lot already but I like helping Mama...and school was okay I guess. We are reading a new book though, it's really good so far I can't wait to talk about it in class."

It takes a moment for Satoru to process all the information given to him from his daughter

"Mmmm you know your mom is right you do a lot already and your so cute monkey liking helping your mama out and why was your day just "okay I guess" that's not what I want to hear from my monkey why was it just okay? Do you want to tell your old man about it?"

"It's silly" Tsumiki responds meekly

"It's not silly if it means you can't have a good day because of it, come on tell papa what's wrong"

Tsumiki gives a small sigh before admitting why her day was 'okay I guess'

"It's just I forgot you were away on a mission and when we got our new book for class I wanted to read with you"

"Awww Tsumiki I'm sorry I'm not there I promise as soon as Im home we'll read alllll the books you want, how does that sound?"

"Thanks papa, I'm going to give mama the phone back now, love you, be safe"

"Love you too and I'll be home soon promise"

Satoru feels his heart is about to burst from how much love is waiting for him at home

"Hey Toru you still there?" (Y/N) asked with the phone in one hand while handing sliced apples and bananas to Tsumiki reminding her to share with her brother

"Yeah I'm here gorgeous, monkey was just trying to give me a heart attack with all her love, man she's such a great kid she probably gets it from me"

"HA doubtful very doubtful, what did she say anyways"

"Just that she misses me and how she wishes she was reading with me and how she loves me sooooo much more than you and Gumi"

Rolling your eyes at the obvious lie at the end

"Yeah I'm soooo sure she said all that especially the end part"

"Aw don't get jealous now you know you'll always be my first love" you can basically see Toru sly smile on his stupid gorgeous face

"Well you'll always be my second love" bitting back a laugh from Satoru to hear his freak out to being second especially second in your heart~

"WHAT WHO'S YOUR FIRST LOVE!?" Absolutely appalled that he second to anyone

"My Gumi of course,his is my precious baby boy" when you inform your boyfriend that Megmi is your first love you can hear Satoru's world come crashing down around him

"Why would you say that, just say you don't want me home it would be easier for my HEART" there goes your drama queen boyfriend doing what he does best being dramatic. Hearing your laugh through the phone did not help Satoru in being any less dramatic

"YOUR SO MEANNNN TO ME" basically crying through the phone. You're so engrossed into the conversation with your boyfriend you don't notice right away the tiny hand pulling on your pant leg to get your attention, putting a hand over the speaker to look down at your son to see what the matter is

"Everything okay Gumi did you get some slice apple and bananas from your sister" nodding yes before communicating what he needed your attention for

"Is that Gojo-sensei" looking at the phone in your hand

"Yeah it's Toru you want to say hi?" You asked your normally quiet son but when you did he got embarrassed looking anywhere but the phone and started messing with the end of his children's cartoon graphic t-shirt. Kneeling down before Megumi with your hand still on the speaker of the phone where your boyfriend is still most likely freaking out

"Hey it's ok if you miss Turo you can say hi if you want" Megumi's eyes widen as if you accuse him of something heinous he whipped his head around so fast to correct you

"I don't miss that idiot!" With his arms crossed and a foot stomp its hard to take his dislike for your boyfriend seriously, putting a hand gently on top of Megumi's head letting him know it's ok if he doesn't want to say hi but in his need to show how strong he is on his own, he forgot the purpose he asked you in the first place because he DOES want to say hi but not wanting to embarrass himself even more he almost decided to forget about it but you know your precious boy better then the back of your hand plus you saw how his eyes sadden when you said he didn't have to say hi so you did what a mother does best reverse psychology(🥸)

"Well I know you don't want to say hi to Toru but I know he wants to say hi to you, can he say hi?" Gumi not realizing he's nod to your question was a very excited nod not backing up his last statement in not wanting to talk to his sensei -dad, putting the phone back up to your ear to let him know another one of his children want to talk to him well "not" talk to him

"Hey handsome I have Gumi here like you wanted, to say hi" Satoru not needing any more information than that because this is not the first time Megmi "didn't" want to say hi,before handing the phone to Megmi you tell Satoru 'love you'

"Hey hey Gumi what's up" Satoru cheerfully came through from the other side of the line but nothing came after his greeting but silence

"Megumi? You okay bud?" The concern in his voice showing just a little bit

"Yes...um I" Megumi obviously not feeling quite yet comfortable with whatever he wants to say

"Hey it's okay monkey take your time you can talk to me about anything alright" hoping that Satoru using his nickname that he uses for his sister and himself will give Gumi the boost he needs to say whatever he needs. It takes him about 30 seconds to respond to Toru

"Miss you and be safe" if Satoru wasn't paying attention he would have missed what Gumi had said but he is always vigilant when it comes to his children but Satoru didn't have time to say 'miss you' back before the phone is handed back to you is a hurry

"Toru?" Came your sweet angelic voice not expecting for the call to still be going

"MY HEART!" He practically blows your earphones out with his love

"SHIT Toru my ears" you should have known better than to put the phone up to your ear after he's done talking to his children

"MY BABIES MY BABIES MONKEYS ARE SO CUTE" rolling your eyes playfully because not only are Megumi and Tsumiki too old to hold on him like monkeys anymore but this was not the first and it won't be the last time this call happens it happens every time Satoru has a long mission or sometimes even the short missions

"I promise I'll be home soon I love you. Don't miss me too much like the kids" chuckling a soft 'i love you too' at the end of the call.

.......……….……………...........……………

THATS IT!!!🫰😜

ART/GIFS AREN'T MINE 🩷

Hope you enjoy cool if not don't care or read more if there is more 🙃

#jjk gojo #jujutsu gojo #satoru gojo #fluff #jjk megumi #satoru gojō x reader #gojou satoru x reader #jujutsu kaisen satoru #gojo fluff #gojo x reader #satoru x reader #satoru x y/n

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things-arent-what-they-seem66 · 10 months ago

Note

*Drops request in your inbox*

#35. Lucifer and Adam had gotten together recently, but already act like a married couple in their never ending honeymoon phase. So when Lilith comes back, everyone is expecting drama, and they get it but not what they thought.

Lilith is expecting to get that 'picture perfect family' back, like she wasn't just up and gone for years without any explanation on where she was at or why she didn't call back to Charlie's numerous voicemails. So Lucifer is indifferent, because why should he care that Lilith is finally back, after so long? He's moved on, long since got rid of his ring, got The One, His Adam, His Rightful Queen, like he should have from the beginning. The only good thing from his marriage with Lilith was Charlie, so if Lilith wants stay, BUT, only for Charlie, then Lucifer would allow it, other than that, he wants nothing to do with her. And he says all of this with a straight, will kinda, his face turn all mushy and bright when talking about His Adam.

*Runs away from inbox*

35. “Because love isn’t linear. You know that, right?”

It seemed like the honeymoon phase of their relationship was going to go on forever. Sure they had only been dating not even a full year, but knowing each other this long it was as if Adam and Lucifer were already married.

Everything seemed perfect. Then Lilith came walking in the door. Angel busted out the popcorn waiting for the drama which was sure to come.

Lucifer looked at the face of his ex-wife, she was still as beautiful as the day she left, sure. But his feelings for her had left along with her. "What are you doing here?"

Lilith gave him a smile. "Isn't it obvious? I'm here for us, our family." Her eyes shifted to Adam. "Adam."

"Bitch."

"Charming as ever. Now, where were we?"

"You were leaving." Lucifer said as he opened the door behind her.

She blinked unbelieving. "What?"

"You heard me. If you want a relationship with Charlie and act like her mother for the first time in years, I can't stop you there. But as far as US? We ended the moment you left out that door without a moment's notice. I've moved on." Lucifer turned a gentle gaze to Adam, who smiled back at him.

"Oh you have go to be fucking kidding me, him!?" Lilith seethed.

Lucifer walked over to Adam and took his hand. "Yes him, the way it should have been from the fucking beginning. The only good that came out of our cold marriage was Charlie and that is the only thing I wouldn't change. But I should have been with him in the first place. He's my other half ." His Adam, the rightful Queen of Hell was with him at last. “Because love isn’t linear. You know that, right? There are ups and downs and I've had that with Adam. It hasn't been easy getting to the point we are at now, but fuck it all to Hell it's worth it."

"You're serious?"

"Dead serious."

Lilith glanced down and saw his ring was gone. He meant it. "Fine. But when you two crash and burn like I know your shitty relationship will, don't come crawling back to me."

Lucifer glared. "Don't worry I won't and I think you underestimate how good we are together."

Lilith gave a glare of her own before leaving in a huff.

Adam was stunned by what just happened. "Wow."

"I meant every word, my dove." Lucifer said pulling Adam in close.

Adam smiled, his heart fluttered in his chest. "I love you, Luci."

"I love you, too, Adam."

#adamsapple #lucifer x adam #hazbin hotel adam #hazbin hotel lucifer #ask

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wjhik · 1 year ago

Note

Hiii!! How are you? Can I ask for a jude request where both the reader and him go on Ridiculousness and it’s just all fluff and jokes, thanks anyway

Cuddles (Jude Bellingham)

Soft moonlight seeped through the curtains, casting a gentle glow over the room. The walls were adorned with pictures of cherished memories, and the bed is a cozy haven of warmth and comfort. I was scrolling through movie options to watch. I worked my ass off all morning to get all my uni work done, so I could enjoy my weekend, not needing to stress about having to get anything done. As I picked an M&M out of the package I heard the door open. I perked up and listened. I heard keys being dropped on the table and bags being put down. I heard footsteps moving towards the bedroom, where I was. The door swung open to reveal my beloved boyfriend.

“Hey, baby.” Jude says with a sigh. “Hi.” I smile at him. He rushed into the bathroom to settle himself.

Jude came out in a t-shirt and his boxers. “Hey.” He says, settling himself in bed, next to me. He laid his head on my chest and wrapped his arms around my waist. “How was your day?” I asked him. He always got clingy after a hard day. “It wasn’t bad. But I got cold, and wet.” The rainy season was hard for Jude. All he wanted to do was cuddle in bed with a warm cup of hot chocolate. “Yeah? I’m sorry, baby.” I comfort him, running my hands through his hair. I moved my hand to grab his under the blanket. Once contact was made, he immediately pulled away. “God, woman. Your hands are so cold. What the fuck?” He exclaims. “Why do you have to freeze my ass every night?” He whines. I don’t understand why he thinks it’s so cold. It’s really not. I only keep the thermostat at 16C. (that is really cold for me, but that’s what i keep my room at so wtv)

I playfully grabbed his face, enveloping him in my coldness. “AY! GET AWAY!!” He yells out. “You’re such a drama queen.” I giggled. “I’m not. You’re fucking insane.” He says, referencing my temperature preferences. I simply rolled my eyes at him.

“What are we doing tonight, girlfriend?” He says, poking my side. “You tell me, boyfriend.” I replied, my eyes stuck to the T.V., struggling to find something interesting. “Well, I thought we could have some fun.” He whispered. “Stop being a horny teenager. Let’s watch Charlie And The Chocolate Factory.” I dismissed him. “You’re genuinely such a child.” He said.

“I never want to leave this bed.” I said, seemingly out of nowhere. Jude makes me feel so comfortable and safe. Nights like those were my favorite, because it was just me and him. No cameras. No media. No interviews. No judgment. Just a man and his girl. It was perfect.

“I second that. It's like a fort of coziness.” Jude replied. He held me in his chest tighter, and kissed the top of my head. He put his finger under my chin and made me look at him. I looked in his eyes, but instantly got nervous. I looked down, blushing to myself. He lets out a breathy laugh. He lifted my face once again, and kissed me. I felt all the butterflies that have ever been in my stomach all at once.

I pulled away and kissed his nose. I propped myself up on one elbow, gazing up at Jude with a mischievous glint in my eye. “What’s going on in that brain of yours, huh?” Jude asks, seeing past my eyes. “You know, we could stay here forever. Build a tiny world of blankets and pillows, and never face the world outside.” I say, holding him tight. Jude flashes me a heartwarming smile that I will never get tired of. “I'm all for it. We'll need to hire a breakfast delivery service, though. Can't survive on cuddles alone.” Jude jokes. I rolled my eyes and asked, “Why do you have the humor of an 86-year-old grandpa that gets called ‘pop-pop’ by his grandkids?” I ask him. He gasps loudly and places his hand on his chest. “For your information, girls would die for this humor.” He huffs. “I am girls.”

We shared a laugh, our fingers playing an intricate game of interlocking puzzles. My hand found its way to Jude's cheek, and I stroked it gently. “I love you so much. You don’t even get it.” I say. Jude quickly reciprocated by kissing me. He pulled away with a dramatic smooch to my head. “You do realize we've been in bed for hours, right?” I observed. “Hours? More like days, I think. Time ceases to exist in our cuddle kingdom.” Jude said. This guy is such a dork. “Please, stop. I think I’m going to be sick.” I said. “You love me.” Jude said, rolling his eyes. “You know I do.”

We laid there in silence, savoring the tranquility of the night, enveloped in a cocoon of love and comfort. I lifted my head to plant a soft kiss on Jude's lips, and he responded with a gentle caress, our affection speaking volumes without the need for words. “I’m so sleepy.” I said, yawning into Jude’s chest. “I know, sweetie.” Jude twisted at an awkward angle to reach for the T.V. remote on his side table. He grabbed it and turned off the T.V., as well as flicking off his side lamp. He reached above me and turned mine off as well. He shimmied down slowly, trying not to disturb me. “Sleep, my love.” He whispered quietly, kissing my head.

“I love you, you know.” I say, dreamily as I doze off into a deep sleep. “I love you more.” Jude whispers, knowing I can’t hear him. Our embrace tightened, as if trying to fuse our souls together, seeking solace and strength in each other's arms. The world outside may be calling, but for now, in the safety of our love, time stands still, and the only reality that matters is the one we've created in the quiet sanctuary of our shared warmth.

Dm for Requests

Wattpad: Funkyfishfeet

#football x reader #footballer x reader #jude bellingham #jude bellingham fanfic #jude bellingham x you #jude bellingham fluff #jude bellingham blurb #jude bellingham imagine #jude bellingham x reader #jude bellingham angst #jude bellingham drabble #jude bellingham fic #jude bellingham one shot #jude bellingham smut #wjhik

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godisshook · 2 years ago

Text

The Golden Boy

Noah was the definition of a golden retriever boy. He worked in our community, loved people, and was incredibly kind. The guy was essentially the second coming of Christ, and unfortunately, my next-door neighbor. We were always in the same classes, and while we had a few talks, our personalities seemed vastly different. I wasn't kind or even very nice, but I wasn't ashamed. I loved drama, hated people, and was always on my phone, never doing anything for anyone unless I had to.

Senior prom season was rolling around, and I had contemplated not going, as every other person I could call a friend wasn't going either. As the morning of promposals come around, I chill in the cafeteria with my best friend Victoria. While most of my friends weren't going because the idea of prom makes them vomit, Victoria was a little different. She was going out of the country the day of prom (yes I was incredibly jealous) and she had even received a promposal, but had to turn it down. As me and her chat over school pizza, I notice Noah and a procession of people walk into the cafeteria. "Well, at least he's consistent in being corny," I think to myself. Before I could even fully look back down, though, I notice him walking to the back, towards ME.

I could not even begin to run as he taps my shoulder from the center aisle, and dropped the fated question, "Will you do me the honor of going to prom with me?" I try to feign sarcasm, but the invite was kind of cute, and as the two girls next to him hold up big YES and NO signs, I slowly stand up and walk over to the NO sign girl, and as Noah's expression starts to fall, I jerk back and grab the YES sign. As the silent anticipation turns to cheers and yelling. I appreciate the moment, but realization hits all too fast, I would actually have to GO to prom.

As that day comes, I walk out, and see Noah smiling widely. "You look breathtaking," he says, and I blush slightly, but catch myself and refocus. He opens his passenger seat door, lets me in, and walks over to the driver's side. The drive to prom was full of small talk, and a lot of me trying to figure out why in the world he would invite me to anything, let alone prom. He remains vague, but as my prying intensifies, we arrive to the venue.

The dance was relatively nice, and as prom king and queen is announced, Noah unsurprisingly wins king, with a girl named Naomi winning prom queen. The rest of the night goes as well as it could, with Noah getting pulled aside every other second to attend to something, and me standing in various corners scrolling on social media.

Summer would change a lot, including Noah. Even before graduation, he had been working out regularly, but as summer rolled around, he would intensify his regimen by a thousand. The worst part was that he looked really good. It seemed as if he was destined to succeed at everything, having the world handed to him on a silver platter.

The only thing he never truly got was me. Even though we had talked more after the prom date, there was still no romantic lead to things, and at most I saw him as a close acquaintance.

One morning, as I go to get my mail, I notice Noah jogging up to me, clearly heading to the gym as it seems. His pecs and biceps were bulging through his tank top, and I couldn't help but notice. "Hey, eyes up here," he says, chuckling. Even I could admit that I giggled at that statement. We once again engage in small talk, and we talk about college plans. I had been trying to figure out what school he was going to since graduation. He hadn't posted anywhere about it, so it was anyone's guess. I realize he's going to the same state school as me. It was a nice school, and people would come from out of state to attend, so people usually gravitated to it anyway.

The rest of my summer is incredibly boring, with me barely leaving the house, and only occasionally encountering the real world. Social media is flooded with classic summer pics, which makes the indoor prison I was rotting in even worse. As college finally rolled around, I felt strangely hopeful, at least it would be a different venue.

Fall semester would roll around, and my mission of self-improvement would begin. I would go out more, make an effort to be slightly more active, and at least attempt to be friendly. My efforts were not in vain, but I definitely didn't have the overnight success Noah seemed to have. After seeing him flex his massive biceps in the gym, I vowed to never go again, forsaking that place. I will never forget the grin on his face as he noticed me, that god-damn grin.

Fall semester passed quickly, and as spring semester came around, change was in the air. Noah immediately would join a frat, which was the same one as his dad (of course). And he remained his same soft oblivious self, which somehow was even more annoying, as the fuckboy energy lay unused. My courses this semester were far easier, and I would barely go to class, only going if I liked the teacher.

When classes wrap up for the day, I start to head home. As I walk down the main road of the campus, a guy hands me a calendar and says, "Enjoy!" I look back at the guy and then look at the calendar. It was one of those sexy fireman calendars, but instead of firemen, it was frat guys. I hide the calendar in my bookbag for the rest of the day. When I finally get home, I take a good look at the calendar, and each month showed increasingly hot guys, and I continue going through month by month, looking for that familiar face. Lo and behold, the guy for September was the man himself.

Noah and I would text occasionally, and he would give me invites to his frat parties, and would usually drive me back as well. We still weren't in the same circles, but we would make an effort to hang out with one another.

It would be a pre-spring break party that would change everything. Noah would send the invite on Monday, telling me to "Be there or be square!" "I know the absolute corniest frat guy ever." I think to myself as I read over the text. The week passes, with very little in terms of big events, just someone burning themselves in chemistry class.

My week gets spent brainstorming outfits, and inspiration strikes as I spot a cute crop top and pair it with the shortest shorts I can find. As the day comes, I take some accessories and complete the outfit, and get picked up by Noah. The car ride there is relatively talkative, with us talking about our classes and our plans for spring break.

The party was packed on arrival, with people out on the balcony, and crowds of people both inside and outside the frat house. Noah tells me to find him if I have any trouble, and we go our separate ways. The party goes from midday to the dead of night, and people come in and out, keeping it busy at all times. As the liquor begins to hit, I search for Noah and find him by a wall, shirt now half on.

He smiles and waves me over, and we start to chat. With my words slurred, I try to ask him, "How drunk are you?" He laughs and replies, "Kinda buzzed, lol, but not as bad as you." Noticing how I was, he offered to take me to one of the rooms upstairs to recover, which I accepted. When we get in the room, I look at him from the bed as I take sips of the water he brought me, and I eye his body.

As I begin to sober up, my drunkenness becomes horniness, and as no other outlet was near me, Noah would simply have to do. When he gets back in the room, he sits down next to me on the bed. I turn to him and eye him with sex in my eyes. He looks back with a sweet yet determined stare, and I make my move. Before I could even fully lean in to kiss him, though, he takes my neck and pulls me in for a kiss.

Still kissing all over me, we slowly both stand up and move towards the bathroom. He pushes me in and starts lifting my shirt up. My hands follow the form of his abs, and he groans with pleasure. My hands go lower and lower until they reach the rim of his underwear. I gaze at him slyly and start to lower his shorts. His cock was throbbing in his underwear, and he looks at me as if he was going to die if I didn't do something about it. I start off by wrapping my hands around his member and stroking slowly. "Fuckkkkkkk" he grunts under his breath. My mouth replaces my hands, and I start sucking.

Before I could finish my good work, we hear a knock on the bathroom door. A frat guy yells, "HURRY THE FUCK UP" as he starts to bang on the door. I look at him, and he looks at me, looking clueless. Even as he stands in front of me practically naked, he's still his innocent self. We put our clothes back on and leave the bathroom, only to discover that the guy knocking already left.

After that, we start chatting even more. He would constantly check up on me, and always put me first. I still would think about the look on his face, and how he was grunting, not knowing he was kinky at all. When we discuss this over text, he calls himself a "soft top" to which I reply, "lol, have you even topped anybody?" He sends a laughing emoji back, and we talk about random things for the rest of the night.

Spring break comes to a close, and we go back to our regular schedules. Noah and I had been talking even more consistently, and at this point, we would start to flirt with each other, but neither of us would ever commit to it. This arrangement suited me personally, as commitment was truly one of my worst fears.

Noah would start taking me out more, and we would get coffee each day, which he would use as his excuse to check in on me. All this behavior seemed very boyfriend-like, but I paid it little mind, as it meant I got to sleep in his comfy room.

I was going to his place regularly at this point, and while we had still not hooked up since that spring break party, we would watch movies together and relax. One night, as I start to doze off while watching The Office, Noah wakes me up with a question.

He asks me, "Am I your boyfriend?" The question hits me like a ton of bricks. Mustering as much confidence as I can, I reply, "I mean, I would hope so." "Good," he says in a low tone. Just like that, I had committed to Noah being my boyfriend. Before I could even fully process that, he begins unbuttoning his sweater and lays down on his bed.

"Come here."

I never expected to hear those words, but they cause a flood, and I climb over as he pulls my face in to kiss. It's more aggressive this time, hungrier, hornier. He was using his own tongue, and moving all into my mouth. He pulls off my underwear and pulls my ass towards him, and starts eating me out. His tongue swirls all inside me, and I can only let out moans to describe my pleasure.

"Do you want to suck it?" he asks, and I nod quickly as he pulls down his sweatpants and underwear, revealing his cock in its full glory. I start licking his tip, and he grunts in a near growl. As I move down it, his voice gets even lower, and precum starts to build on his tip. I lick it off, and he smiles.

Sweat coated his face as I sucked around his cock, his head jerking back. He would pull off his sweatpants, and he held my head while I was sucking his dick. I climb on top of him, and his cock stands up tall under my ass. I take his cock in my hand and slowly bring it to my ass. As the two make contact, I moan as it starts to fill me up, and he groans and grunts as it slides in. Moving slowly up and down his cock makes him groan even more, and as I come up again, he would take his arms and grab my ass fully, and start dropping me down onto his cock.

"Noah!" I shriek as he pushes me up and down. He stops suddenly, and says, "Say my name again." I say his name continuously as he lifts me up and hoists my body against the wall, sliding his cock deep into me. The pleasure causes me to shriek, as he pushes me up and down continuously. He throws his head back in ecstasy, and his body tenses up as his cum fills me up. We get back on the bed, and I get a devious idea.

I go back down on him immediately, sucking him again, he winces and says "I already came," I immediately reply, "Well then do it again." He blushes, and I keep going, and as his cock gets hotter and hotter, jets of cum come out again, filling up my mouth. I swallow it and give him a smile.

Afterward, he makes sure I'm all cleaned up and makes me dinner, bringing it up to me as I lay in bed sore. He lays back down next to me and asks, "Do you wanna know something?" Between bites of chicken, I mumble a reply, "Wha-?" "You're my first." I look at him and say, "Oh, I know." He jabs me in my side, giggling, and I laugh back at him. When I finish up the food, he puts the tray away and starts getting ready for bed. He turns on a movie, and I lull to bed.

Noah's alarm startles me awake, and he apologizes as he kisses me awake. "I'm just gonna hop in the shower, feel free to chill and do whatever." I wrap myself under his covers and put on Spongebob, watching away as I delay thinking about my own classes. My lab class was an hour away, and I contemplated going as his warm covers take me to a level of comfort unseen before. After what seemed like seven years, Noah finally gets out of the shower.

He came out of the shower looking absolutely majestic, and as I start eyeing him, he looks over at me and says, "Are you gonna do something or just stare?" That lab class would simply have to get skipped because duty called. I eye him back, and he starts tugging at the knot on his towel. "I think it's only fair you come over to me," I say from my position under the covers. "Your wish is my command," he replies. He starts walking to the bed, undoing his towel.

When he gets on the bed, I shift over to him and start giving him a hand job. He taps me and says, "Skip to the part where you use your mouth." I smile and oblige him, sucking to my heart's content. He bucks against me and groans loudly.

"You're doing so gooood," he says in a breathy tone. I smirk up at him and start going down. As I continue, Noah starts to get quiet and all of a sudden, waves of cum are on my face. "You look so good with my cum on you," he says, laughing. He pushes my mouth on top of his cock. His dick completely blocks my throat, and I start to cough and choke, as I push myself off of his dick he grins at me and says, "Sorry, I couldn't help it." I smile back at him as he cleans me off with a towel, and we cuddle on the bed for the rest of the day.

#muscle #muscles #pecs #jock #college jock #college guys #soft top #soft boy #soft boi

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ashthewaterghoul · 4 months ago

Text

You Gave Me Nothing Whatsoever But A Reason To Leave - A Dewdrop Ghoul One Shot

“If you would let us, we would like to restore your birthright and name, son.” Torrent said. He hadn’t called Dew his ‘son’ since months before his banishment. “You would supersede Eyre upon your father’s death.” Marina added. “I would follow you and your word, brother.” Eyre confirmed. Dew’s head spun and he spoke before he thought, “Fuck no.” The three gazes that had slowly been softening suddenly turned back to that familiar coldness again. “You dare speak to us like that?” Torrent snarled. Fuck it. Or, A really random one shot in which Dew goes back to Hell, and gets a lil catharsis while he's there.

Words: 3k

Rating: Gen

Tags: Dew gets to shout at people, angst and drama, bc Dew is a drama queen, banishments, dew is a runt, attempted nepotism, descriptions of dew's elemental transition, mentioned Ifrit, toxic family, dew needs a hug, mentioned royal!Rain, I'm struggling for tags here help.

A/n: The idea for royal!Rain comes from these posts X X by hypnoneghoul and this post by skele-bunny. Title take from 'Granite' by Sleep Token.

~~~

Why did he get stuck with this? Him, of all people, sent on a fucking messenger mission back down to Hell. Who in the Clergy decided ‘Oh, yes. Dewdrop, he’ll do great!’ It wasn’t like his behaviour record was clean, he certainly wasn’t a good delegate and, most importantly, he hated his home dimension.

The Clergy was in an odd limbo as Copia ascended to be Frater Imperator and they were waiting for the new guy to arrive, and what would usually be a message sent via Ritual conducted by the Papa could no longer be carried out. So, the Clergy decided to send a Ghoul. Instantly, everyone thought it would go to one of the more mature Ghouls like Aether or Mountain. But it got passed to Dew.

So, here he stood, on a pentagram ready to get sent home. At least he would be coming back, his bond to the Ministry wouldn’t be broken. That didn’t make it any less terrifying though. Dew was going to be isolated from his pack for the first time since his forced Elemental transition. And he hated that fact. He wasn’t allowed to take anyone with him as they needed their hands up here, but Dew knew better than to try and tempt the Clergy to anger by now, despite knowing Copia would never let anything bad happen to him.

He stood in the pentagram, Copia along with other Clergy started to chant to open the portal and Dew just willed his body to not to wet himself. He truly was that scared. The magic started tingling along his skin as his soul was forced back down. He knew better than to fight the magic as well, and gave into it.

It took a while to pop out on the other side, and Dew knew why. His first destination was one that he never wanted to return to and those meant to accept the summoning certainly didn’t want to see him either. When he emerged, he landed in a heap to no fanfare or welcome. His sort-of-fame from the Ghost project meant nothing down here. And especially here.

(Read below the cut or on ao3)

“Dewdrop Aquariunt.” A voice he hoped to never hear again sneered, “They sent you then.”

“I think you’ll find it’s Dewdrop Ignisriunt now.” He said, dusting himself off as he stood.

“You act like that makes any real difference.” She commented.

“Better than being a Homaestus.” Dew returned.

The Ghoulette that comprised of his welcoming committee growled, “And you wonder why mother and father disowned you.”

“They disowned me because I’m a runt. But who got summoned? Me, the embarrassment who was kicked from the family line or you, their dutiful and mindless servant?” Dew asked.

She went to raise her claws but Dew cut in, “Ah-ah-ah!” He grabbed the bespelled Grucifix rosary around his neck and lifted it, “I’m under Ministry protection. You can’t hurt me without hurting our parents’ precious position in society.”

She bared her fangs instead.

“I’ve seen much scarier things than you since you left me, Eyrie-Fairy.” Like Sister Imperator naked that one time. Dew, the Fire Ghoul, still manages to shiver about it to this day.

“Don’t call me that.” She sneered, walking off to lead Dew to more faces he didn’t want to see again.

“Why? Reminds of a time you actually liked me?” Dew said as he followed.

“Satanas, you are insufferable.” Eyre muttered.

“Aww, Aether says the same thing.” Dew cooed.

She grunted again before the two fell into silence as they walked along.

Once upon a time, they had indeed been siblings, and happy at that. But as Dew grew, or rather didn’t grow, it became obvious that he was, in fact, a runt. Runts were a sign of weakness to the family line that Dew’s parents couldn’t dare show. They were the leaders of their pod of Water Ghouls, and held prominent positions for the race of Water Ghouls in general. When Dew was the ripe age of 8 and his gills still hadn’t opened, his parents disowned him. They removed any bond he had with his family and pod and named him Aquariunt, the Water Ghoul last name that showed shame. It was mostly given for a disownment, or sometimes for kits left orphaned and their line wasn’t known. It meant ‘Water’s Spawn’, showing that the Ghoul was not part of their birth line anymore. Now Dew was a Fire Ghoul, he was technically Ignisriunt, Fire’s Spawn, but in his mind, anything was better than his birth line of Homaestus. He wouldn’t dream of ever wanting to be that, ever again.

He could get all his quips out with his former sister, but he knew it would be short lived. As soon as he was faced with his parents, he was sure he was going to fold in half with how much his shoulders would hunch in. It may have been years ago, but the words they said on that dreadful night still hurt. Dew had expected, had hoped they would just say the words for the Ritual and leave him. But they had said much more and much worse. He had a lot of physical scars by this point, but that emotional one was always one of the worst.

Dew started seeing some more familiar sights of his old pod’s base camp, and the main tent he once called home. The scents of his parents grew stronger as he walked closer and closer, and Dew mentally pledged to claw out the eyes of whoever arranged this. He would have to go visit other leaders, other Elements, but being made to do this was just cruel.

His once-sibling pulled the curtain to the main tent back and cleared her throat, “Torrent and Marina Homaestus, Chief and Chiefess of this pod.”

Dew was expected to bow even when he was their son. Of course, he was expected to bow even lower now.

“I present Dewdrop Ignisriunt of the Unholy Church Of Satanas.” Eyre finished, herself bowing to her parents before taking her place at their sides as she was the next Chiefess. As Dew was older, he would have been the next Chief if he wasn’t kicked out.

“Dewdrop.” Torrent sneered, permitting Dew to rise up from his bow.

“Chief.” Dew said, keeping his eyes downcast. He couldn’t call him ‘father’ anymore and wasn’t allowed to look him in the eye.

“Ignisriunt, is it now?” Marina added.

“It is indeed, Chiefess.” Dew confirmed.

She chuffed a laugh and shook her head, “Still weak then.”

Dew didn’t dare give her an answer. If anything, the fact that he was a runt and survived his brutal transformation attested more to his strength than weakness.

“So, the Ministry sent you? Let’s get this done with.” Torrent said.

Dew fished through his bag for the scrolls that Copia had sent with him. He would have to read them out to his sire and dam because Water Ghouls, even ones as prominent as the Homaestus line, couldn’t read or write. Water and paper don’t exactly mix, after all. Dew had learnt how to read after his summoning from Mountain and Aether, who’s Elements thrived on knowledge and making sure it was preserved for generations to come.

As Dew read through the documents, he made sure his voice stayed strong and he focused on not messing up a single word. He was a creature of spite, probably why he survived being abandoned at just 7-years-old, and he would never want to add more fuel to the fire of hate his birth line had for him.

The Chiefess stood at one point and started walking around Dewdrop and inspecting him, for lack of a better word. To be fair, he couldn’t blame her. Elemental transitions are unheard of and especially one as brutal as Water to Fire.

She sat back down, and the Chief and Chiefess spoke their responses for the Clergy. It was rather routine for the leaders at this point. It was a formality that all the tribe leaders of any Element did to keep the relations with the humans. While rarely used, there are ways for Ghouls to forbid passage to Earth and for the humans to lose safe passage for their servants. It would then turn to brutal and painful summonings that the Ghouls may not even survive, or at least become very injured.

It was also a way for the Ghouls below to register their interest in being summoned. It was never a guarantee, Dew himself never chose to be summoned, but it allowed the Clergy to pinpoint willing souls who would give into the summoning easier, and submit quicker to their new Master.

Dew finished writing their responses, in English rather than Ghoulish so that the Clergy could read them, and left the notebook open so that the ink could dry.

“The Clergy thanks the most powerful Chief Torrent and Chiefess Marina Homaestus for their time and cooperation.” It was a formality drilled into Dew, but the words felt like ash in his mouth.

Dew kept his head bowed, waiting to be dismissed.

“You’ve done well, Dewdrop.” Torrent said cooly.

Did Dew’s ears just stop working? There is no way he just heard that…

“S- sir?” Dew said, still bowed.

“Look at me, Dewdrop.” Torrent asked. While Dew wasn’t supposed to look at him since been shunned, he couldn’t exactly deny the Chief.

Dew had never forgotten that icy stare of his sire. It always managed to bore holes into him and make him feel even smaller than he already was.

“You have done remarkably, given your unfortunate circumstance.” He went on.

Dew wanted to say something about how part of that “circumstance” was his fault but bit his tongue.

“Thank you, sir.” Dew mumbled, forced to meet his sire’s eyes but wanting to rip his own away so bad.

“What exactly did they do to you to make you into a Fire Ghoul?” Marina asked, curiosity alight in her equally piercing gaze.

“I- I wasn’t given a choice. One of my mates, Ifrit, he was the Fire Ghoul. There was a lot that happened in the Ministry, within the Clergy, and he was killed.” Dew had to take a deep breath so he didn’t cry at the memory, “The Clergy don’t like summoning Fire Ghouls because it’s too difficult and expensive, but Water Ghouls are easily replaced. So, they took me in my sleep, and I couldn’t fight back. They made a serum from Ifrit’s blood, forced me onto a pentagram, injected me in my gills and started chanting. Then I burned.”

That was the easiest way to put it because Dew did burn, and he had the scars to prove it.

“What changed? Physically. What did ‘burning’ entail?” Torrent questioned.

Dew didn’t like talking about this part especially. It took him months to describe the sheer and utter torture to Aether, let alone anyone else. But Dew couldn’t deny the Chief. He’d never been able to go toe-to-toe with him.

“My gills melted shut, both sets.” One hand pulled the neck of his Ministry uniform to show the burn-scars there, the other gestured to his clothed ribs where matching ones lay, “All my scales, webbing and fins burned off. My hair changed colour, my horns fogged up, one crumbled off. My hands darkened, I run a lot warmer now, and one of my eyes turned red.” He tapped his face, where the skin around the socket was slightly smoky, dusted by charcoal like his hands. His blue eye was surrounded by small scars from where his scales burned out.

“It felt like the worst pain imaginable. I thought I was going to die; I wished for it. I kept passing out from pain and exhaustion and when I was awake, I was in agony. Twitching and writhing because I couldn’t flail around anymore. Breathing felt impossible, my throat had burned out and I couldn’t scream, my tail was fixed around my stomach. Just, everything was terrible. I was locked in a cell; I was deprived of water even to drink for a few weeks so that they could make sure the Fire took to me. Locked away from my mates, and another one was taken and killed in that time too. Their name was Zephyr. Terzo was killed as well, with his brothers and Mountain and Aether refused to leave my bedside after they found me. I was in a coma for weeks after that. But I survived.”

“Fascinating.” Marina whispered. For the first time in Dew’s life, she looked at him with something that was almost pride.

“Before and after, you were in the Clergy’s project, weren’t you?” Torrent asked.

“Yes, sir. Still am.” Dew said, confused as he was pretty sure that no one down here had heard of Ghost.

“We have heard stories from Ghouls returned to Hell. One called Alpha, another called Omega. The half-breed Delta visits a nearby pod sometimes with the Ghoulette Mist. One called Pebble also brings tales.” Marina said.

Dew’s eyes widened at the names of his old friends. After sometime while he was asleep, following Ifrit and Terzo’s murder, the retired Ghouls had fled back to Hell save meeting the same fate. No one knew if they had survived as, usually, a Papa would oversee the portal opening and closing.

“Th- they’re here? They made it?” Dew asked incredulously.

“Indeed. Mist is very interesting to speak with.” Eyre said, silent up until now.

Dew could definitely agree with that.

“They tell stories of how beloved you were as a Water Ghoul. We know that His word had only spread more with this project, so I assume that love for you with it?” Mariana said.

Dew smirked slightly, knowing he often sent fans a bit more than feral.

“All things considered,” Torrent said, “we aren’t sure we properly estimated you, Dewdrop.”

“Excuse me, sir?” Dew said.

“This isn’t said easily, but we do believe we made a mistake by shunning you.” The Chief said.

Dew’s eyes widened again, but this time in confusion.

“You have proved to be strong and invaluable.” Mariana said.

“If you would let us, we would like to restore your birthright and name, son.” Torrent said.

He hadn’t called Dew his ‘son’ since months before his banishment.

“You would supersede Eyre upon your father’s death.” Marina added.

“I would follow you and your word, brother.” Eyre confirmed.

Dew’s head spun and he spoke before he thought, “Fuck no.”

The three gazes that had slowly been softening suddenly turned back to that familiar coldness again.

“You dare speak to us like that?” Torrent snarled.

Fuck it.

“You dare to leave a kit to fend for himself? Hoping that some creature will kill him so you don’t have to?” Dew scoffed, “A Fire Ghoul? Leading a Water clan? That’s ridiculous, no one would follow me. Just because I’m traumatised by what I’ve been through makes you think I’m the son you always wanted doesn’t mean I’ve forgiven you. What you said, what you did to me hurt. Remind me, my dam and sire, what were your last words to me before you left me for dead?”

The two stayed silent, their upper lips pealed back to bare their fangs.

“Do you not remember? Because I do. I hear it every night in my nightmares. You shall henceforth be known as ‘Aquariunt’ and you shall know a fraction of the humiliation you brought on us. I would kill you myself if it wouldn’t bring me more shame than your presence already has, so you shall die a slow and painful death instead. An atonement for the mortal sin that is your meagre and wretched existence.”

“What else do you do with the runt of the litter?” Marina spat.

“Love me? Like it or not, you’re still the ones that made me. I’m your son.”

“How could we love something so absurdly horrific?” Eyre sneered.

“Do you want a list of those who have?” Dew raised his hand and counted across his fingers, “Terzo, Copia, Aether, Mountain, Ifrit, Zephyr, Omega, Alpha, Mist, Ivy, Pebble, Delta, Rain, Swiss, Cirrus, Cumulus, Aurora, Sunshine and Phantom.”

“Fools then. The lot of them.” Torrent remarked.

Dew knew they would change their tunes quickly. His parents didn’t have any sort of emotion other than their lust for power and status. They had heard stories, and when Dew had confirmed those stories, seen he had a skill that they didn’t – even one as basic as reading and writing – they saw an opportunity for some good old-fashioned nepotism and couldn’t resist. But as soon as Dew, the horrific little creature he was, rightly pointed out the gaping flaws in their logic and realised that they couldn’t puppet him, they went back to their tirade of tyranny against him.

He knew something else that would make them change tunes as well though.

“Even Rain? He’s a fool? Does that name not ring a bell?” Dew smiled.

The realisation on his former family’s faces made him fail to stifle a giggle.

“Rain is a fair and just Prince, but I’m sure he wouldn’t take too kindly to being called a fool by the two who have caused me, one of his mates, so much pain. Just as I’m sure he wouldn’t like his other mates, friends and his Papa being called fools too.” Dew said.

It was often surprisingly forgettable that Rain was a Prince. Each Element had their own revered and respected Royal family, and Rain was part of the one for Water Ghouls. Rain never acted like you would expect for his station, and maybe that was because he was 3rd in line and likely to never inherit his mother’s throne, especially after Rain’s older siblings have had their own kits, but he was just like any other Ghoul. Other than the fact he had a lot more security around the Abbey and while on tour.

“You wouldn’t dare.” Mariana muttered.

“I get asked that question a lot. Most often the answer is I would indeed.” Dew said.

He revelled in watching them squirm.

“Anyway, for the Ministry, this has been a most productive visit. For me, quite cathartic, yes, buy otherwise entirely unpleasant.” Dew said, clapping his hands together, “Chief Torrent, Chiefess Marina, Heiress Eyre.” He bowed and showed himself out. And he flipped the three of them off on the way out, to visit the next pod of Water Ghouls.

Maybe this trip wasn’t the worst idea after all…

irdk what this is but... thanks for reading :D

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