#because we are also all quite large
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my second youngest brother is the only person in the family big enough to pick up Gus and carry him like a baby, and because of this Gus will play with him a bit more roughly than he will other folks. but since Gus is used to always being bigger than his other playmates... he sometimes miscalculates
when the awawawa goes too far
#no Guses were harmed in the making of this photo#Gus is still learning how big he is and how to be gentle#and maybe will never learn tbh my whole family are just in general kind of rough with affection#because we are also all quite large#gus post
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fauci saying âvulnerable people will fall by the waysideâ and that some will die but thatâs ok because weâre not going to see the âtsunami of casesâ weâve seen before is so dehumanising. so babies with no immune system, elderly people, disabled people, and people without adequate access to healthcare can all die of covid. but itâs ok guys because actually theyâre just falling to the wayside and everyone else will go back to normal and be fine (sarcasm).
my death or the deaths of my family or friends wouldnât be us âfalling by the waysideâ, it would be us being failed by our government, healthcare systems, and communities who have refused to take coronavirus seriously despite mounting anecdotal and scientific evidence of the harm this virus does. fact that people can accept the deaths of vulnerable groups just because they want to eat in a restaurant or donât want to wear a mask is horrifying
#yall can reblog this#for those of you touting community care or progressive values or allyship to marginalised communities#i better see yâall masking#it goes without saying that if you canât mask then my saying mask up does not apply to you#but for the people who can mask please do so to protect yourself and others#masking up also protects people who arenât able to mask#Iâm just so tired of being told that death to a virus that is preventable via masking and air filtration and proper testing availability to#prevent spread by allowing people to stop their chain of transmission#is just. fine. like all these people will die and apparently thatâs fine and actually a great thing#also. with one or two covid infections formerly healthy people enter vulnerable groups. because the studies coming out right now and#what we know about long term sars1 effects (because covid is not a cold or flu. itâs sars2. itâs severe accuse respiratory syndrome)#are showing that the long term effects on the bodies of people who have had covid will be disasterous#and if covid had been properly felt with then maybe only some people would be facing that reality. but the amount of people who have been#infected not just once but multiple times. with some people having close to double digit numbers of infections. means that the amount of#people looking at sars2 long term symptoms could be quite a large group#coronavirus#my post
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can a girl ramble aboutthe way you can interpret so many parts of the propaganda and characterization of rhine by other the people/general populace of teyvat as people largely antagonizing neurodivergent traits without being chased with pitchforks and torches.
#FUCKKKK DSOMMEBODY HEAR ME.#YES. i know shes a not a good person.#but half the shit she's described with by other sources#is so obviouslye exaggerated based onwho she is and NOBODDIESSSS talking abt it#'cold and unfeeling' MY ASS. THIS WOMAN WAS TALKING ABOUT EATING MOLD FOR A GOOD FOUR PARAGRAPHS ITSNOT THAT DEEP#the way she clearly a ton of albedo's behaviours but i dont see anybodyyyyy talk about it and just demonize her for it#THE HEXENSUCCESORS ARE ALL PARELLELS TO THE HEXENLADIES. THATS THE POINT#THE FACT RHINE LARGELY MIRRORS ALBEDO IS NOT A COINCEDENCE OR WEIRD INTERPRETATION ON ANYONES END.#the fact many of the trait she CLEARLY shares with albedo are demonized... HELLO..............#mond propaganda book writer gets shot IMMEDIATELY#-> i dont know guys. Maybe its also the fact she's probably traumatized from the. yknow. CATACLYSM. that made her a worse than albed#just maybe!#its sooo established that neurodivergence leads people to cope with stress different... Hello............ can we talk about this.........#NO HATE. but if I wathced my nation got destroyed > and this loser twink knight said i should've protected everyone/ when even HE DIDNT/#i wouldd also spiral. AND THATS CLEARLY WAHT HAPPENED ON SOME LEVEL.#if you read her hexenbook excerpt she is. quite literallh just sarcastic. blunt. and not emotionally experessive#WHICH ALIGNS WITH THE EXAGGREATED TRAITS SHES LATER CHARACTERIZED AS???#she literally JUST got worse symptoms as a result of trauma. why are we playing it up like this. âGreat Sinnerâ my ass she's a woman ins te#they're all sinenrs if you really think about it. THEYRE IN STEM#-> the way neurodivergent women are demonized for sooo many traits they have just because it doesn't fit the mold of being a 'good women'#NOBODY IS TALKING ABOUT THIS. ITS MOND#THEYRE NOTABLY. NOT ALWAYS DOING THE BEST. WITH FREEDOM AND GOOD OPINIONS BC OF VENTI'S ABSENCESSSSSSSSSSSSS#NOSHIT THIS TAKE WOULD COME FROM THEM..... MAKE SOME SENSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE#this is no hate because i love mond with alll my heart im just fucking insane over this. venti i love you#crepe rants
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the brain is all you need?
spitting psychology in discords at 8:40 am, still feeling out of community in the Tavtash fandom and general Gortash fandom, writing an AU but keep getting stuck on that fucking judgement loop.
in unrelated news, realized that if i was raised/socialized as a male, i would have become a priest. absolutely. no doubt in my mind. recall comments inferring the same from family members. would have been supported by my family in this - despite being first male of a generation, would have been of an unwed mother, so going into the seminary lets the married siblings time to pop kids out to be the true heirs.
we are not entitled to know what could have been (thanks Aslan), but man, "what if I got/get the support I need" keeps nagging my ass.
#âall your favorite creators are in discords making fun of youâ is a hells of a claim by some anon on a fandom critical blog#and yet i'm neutral to it because i have seen quite clearly (by living in abuse) how people respect and celebrate the cruelest people#i think that the bg3 fandom at large has not absorbed and comprehended the message of the game regarding abuse#abuse is behavior#not thought#abuse is verbal#not capacity#what you do and say in real life creates your environment#you tell your own story and you must exist within the consequences of your actions and your luck#the more that you give away the more that you have#but also the more that you have the more that they take#fuck it i'm going to breakfast#we gon be alright#fuck drake lmao#cw gender ig
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How would one find work at a library when they just...aren't qualified or don't have the relevant experience? I'd love to work at one but I don't have a relevant degree or experience in the field (mostly because they keep rejecting my applications and then ghosting me). I know if given the opportunity I could learn how to do the various jobs at a library, I just have trouble getting into the field without a degree.
people ask me this quite a bit and I really don't know what to say because I don't have an MLIS and neither do most of my coworkers. only like 1/10th of our employees have it honestly. I only have an associates degree in mathematics. and honestly, I'm really sorry to say, the only other way to get your foot in the door really is to volunteer. I volunteered at the library that I now work for A LOT as a teenager so I was able to use the librarians I got to know as references when I started applying to library jobs, and I was able to speak to my experiences working within the library
basically the only other thing is starting at the absolute bottom of the totem poll, which I also did even with my volunteer experience. this is usually going to be a library page position. pages are generally the lowest paid, most manual labor job because they reshelve returned books. so it's a lot of lifting and pushing tens or hundreds of pounds of books around all day
unfortunately there's nothing else I can really tell you, there's not really a magic key to working here. volunteering and having a clean record (like, don't apply if you have a bunch of fines on your account) are really the only ways to get ahead at all. even having an MLIS isn't gonna help you much these days without having any experience like that
#also this isnt to be mean to people who have it but library degrees are like waaaay overhyped and largely exist as a class barrier#because in order to get one you have to waste at least 4 years getting a completely irrelevant degree then be able to afford 2 more yrs#i kinda wouldnt recommend getting one til youve worked in an actual library for a while first to give some perspective#and id only do it if you have a specific library position in mind#please do not waste your time and money getting a degree just because you want to work in a library#you need to know what exactly you want to aim for because positions are few and far between#also one last little secret: working at a library reallllllly fucking sucks in A LOT of ways#i love what we do and i love my coworkers but i fucking hate my job lmao#MANY libraries across the country (including mine) are controlled by boards made up of local wealthy business people#and all of the higher ups are extraordinarily out of touch#pay is exceedingly low and it is A LOT of very hard work. its not sitting around reading all day#you have to deal with the public in ways that i promise you no amount of retail experience could ever prepare you for#which is why you have to really really want it. so many people quit within a couple years
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Also have realized that we may have worded things oddly to exaggerate the amount of the Wasp Kingdom that is actually in active conflict but in our defence the power structures we currently have there have it so that whenever there aren't things to fight something like 40-80% of the Wasp Kingdom military gets re-allocated to Basically Whatever The Wasp Kingdom Needs At That Moment since they're, like, the Designated Supply Of Able-Bodied Wasps That The Queen Uses To Do Shit.
Marble is also banned from the non-combat parts of that setup, btw. Their particular tendency towards volatile-yet-effective is not something that ANYONE wants designing things that will be used in day-to-day civilian things just Around The Wasp Kingdom because generally you don't want your heavy-use architecture to Fucking Explode if you don't read and religiously adhere to the 120-page manual.
#we speak#marble#ocs#the wasp kingdom's hive tends to get significantly damaged or destroyed a few times a decade thanks to. The Deadland Border Thing#and when that happens instead of shrinking their military they just start making their footsoldiers learn construction instead#pretty much everyone has to be at least competent in combat because if they Aren't then people Fucking Die#for related reasons they tend to have surprisingly decent attitudes about shit like disability#because injury in the field is something that around 60-70% of wasps will experience in their lifetimes#and that's a VERY LARGE part of the population that they Really can't just leave out of work or anything#because they need all the damn hands that they can get most of the time#which results in things like WMS having a truly ridiculous number of variant signs for amputees or people with limited range of motion#its uhh. plus side: wasp kingdom is insanely ahead in disability accommodations and such compared to Everyone Else#minus side: it's because any member of the wasp kingdom is fully expected to become disabled in some way during their lifetime#plus side: they will accept anything and everything into the kingdom up to and including parasites and criminals#minus side: it's because they live in one of the single most deadly inhabited areas in bugaria and you will be drafted into the military#also there are Quite A Few Things that make socialization cross-kingdom Difficult#and if youre a mimic fly coming in especially you Really have no indication as to what is friendly and what is Not#and you Know when youre being mocked but youre also not gonna be capable of viewing Friendly Interaction as Nonhostile#because everyone here grew up getting at least mild battle training more or less from splitting the cocoon and expects you to play rough#and you are a fly that is not going to interpret someone biting and shaking you in a non-aggressive manner#even if it's a deliberate play-shake that doesnt actually Hurt or break shell#worldbuilding#they only actually need the kaiju squad like once or twice a year but uhh. yknow. The Beasts
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soooooâŚâŚ. thereâs some ConversationTM* going around the theology (and adjacent) girlies tonight and itâs got me very intriguedâare there really more options than just Calvinist/Arminian?? bc Iâve always been raised with this idea that those are The Two Options regarding salvation theology and how exactly it all plays out. but apparently thatâsâŚ. not the case??
Iwill add that yes, Molinism is a thing that exists, and I know of exactly one guy whoâs a theologian and philosopher and who believes in that lol. itâs not exactly a super common alternative to the others. and then I do believe Catholics have a slightly separate view as well, but Iâm mainly just talking about soteriology within Protestant theology here anyway.
*(I wonât say âDiscourseTMâ bc that seems more antagonistic than what Iâm seeing around here rn; everything seems to be in good faith and just for the sake of pointing out minor discrepancies atm)
#I will add that Iâve largely been raised in Baptist churches but my family is⌠not really that#weâre definitely a bit more wesleyanish in our theology#and thatâs what Iâve always been taught at home from my own parents#but I definitely was also always under the impression (and I think my parents may be as well) that Calvinism/Arminianism is like. a binary.#you are one or the other. and there are levels within each. but there arenât really any third options. all denominations trace back there.#(tbh this is a huge reason why I desperately wish I had been given better theological training when I was younger#because suddenly Iâm an adult and quite set in my views and opinions theology and also have a long-standing Fite Me sort of mentality#towards Bible teachers in general due to some very unethical ones we encountered a Lot throughout my childhood#and a tendency to want to die on the smallest and most arbitrary theological hills imaginable#AND an extremely strong adherence to a set of theological tenets that⌠I am recently discovering possibly arenât at all what the people who#taught them to me thought they wereâŚ#so like. now in a lot of ways it feels like Iâm basically having to unlearn and relearn a bunch of extremely basic stuff about all this#while also dealing with the constant fear of âgiving upâ and either leaving the faith entirely or embracing a completely foreign brand#thatâs not at all what I was raised with and still do hold to be true and accurate and good)#gurt says stuff#theology#religon#christianity#faith#knitting circle
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fair ways into magical turnabout. hate nahyuta a lot more than i remembered
#i remembered him being boring but god hes just ANNOYING i miss blackquill#also idk it drives me slightly insane that everyone we've met from khura'in is a monk in some way#like does this place really just not have anything else going for it culturally at all besides its religion#it makes the entire place seem awfully flat#bri talks#idk maybe once we start getting into the Rebellion territory of the story more itll flesh out a little#but like. should not take this long for us to see people that have livelihoods outside worship imo#should be mentioned that i havent finished this game in its entirety#ive been spoiled on a large sum of it and i dont Care if any more of it gets spoiled but i quit a few years ago in the middle of chapter 3#partially because i was insanely bored of it lol#so like! i dont know! maybe the actual mysteries of the later cases will intrigue me.#but right now it feels like bestie and i are being forced to make our own fun out of it#like inventing cliff terran. who is clay's identical brother who isnt aware clay is dead and is also strange but nice and is everywhere#<- also a twist villain????? the cliff lore is intense you guys wouldnt get it#anyway if youre reading these tags. hi! hope youre having a good day slash night#if you saw something in this game that im not . good for you! youre having more fun than i am LOL#and if you're thinking about getting into ace attorney as an outsider...... go for it!!!! the trilogy is still great!!!!!!#not everyone likes aa4 but its personally my favorite!!!! just maybe wait a while after trilogy it can be a bit jarring if you play them--#--in succession#thats all goodnight Lol
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i literally will never understand casual dating like wdym i give my heart to someone & open up to them & be vulnerable with them and then we break up after a few months there's no way. Die for me or don't hit me up at all đ
#like the concept of it. a few months and then we're just done?? you're not in my life like that anymore?? we go our separate ways and move#on as if we haven't shared ourselves with each other?? could NOT be me sorry. good for u if that's you though peace n love đ#i say this and then it's actually even worse in that i cannot bear the idea of getting into a relationship with someone and falling out of#love or simply Falling Out and breaking up or being dumped or smth similar LIKE it rlly has to be all in or i seriously can't..#like it has to be serious. it has to be all or nothing......this is not affecting me in my romantic life whatsoever đđ#i guess this is very ronan lynch of me ....#ALSO this was brought on because i saw the guy at the friday market that i sorta have like a very superficial crush on..as in he is very#attractive 2 me there is a somewhat melancholic look abt him that is very charming he has a long kinda big kinda narrow nose and hooded#brown eyes and a long narrow face and brown hair that's cut like. sort of purposefully haphazardly.. or well it looks just a bit messy#and he's quite tall and has veiny hands and forearms and large hands also....ANYWAY i just have a little crush on him it's nothing rlly bc#i don't even know him though i do know his name...but like. it got me thinking about dating and everything surrounding it and how i don't#see myself dating anyone if it's not the furthest thing from casual ykwim#this is definitely a very normal thought process to have after thinking one (1) guy u see every week at the market is cute đ¤ ..
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someone on my feed has been talking about kuukouâs unwillingness?? i suppose is the word, to be in the spotlight, especially in regards to this fpmtrâ chapter
like kuukou functions as if this isnât his story, heâs not the protagonist of it; moving behind the scenes to ensure jyushi gets his chance to shine on stage and affirm himself, pushing hitoya out of the way to take an attack because he probably could sense hitoya needed to be on that stage facing jakurai, following ichiroâs lead and helping when he asks and itâs interesting to see it reinforced so often
#this is vee speaking#shout out to the bat stans on my feed crying and professing their love for kuukou lmao btch me too holy shit#the brain is making this akin to âthe buddha guides us allâ that was brought up the other day#and the person on my feed had brought up kuukouâs a hero on the fringes of the story almost like the gojos or all mights in shounen stories#the person who moves stories forward but the outcome is largely based on the protagonist#(lol iâm filling in blanks on what this person I THINK was trying to say lol so if that doesnât quite make sense my bad đââď¸)#the op went on cry that kuukou can be a protagonist too and man i feel that lol#like kuukou is a support character but now i wanna know how much of that is self imposed or instinctual lol#if itâs self imposed why???? because he knows heâs not ready for something???? did someone make him think that way????#but on that vein kuukouâs silently working towards his end goal so i think we just arenât privy to his story yet#(hence why bb vs bat should happen lol what better way to put kuukou in the spotlight than making him go up against the poster boy lol)#and speaking of hella awesome banquet the martyrdom imagery that had been put on him also came into play with this chapter#the mv is a chock full of mixed catholic buddhism aesthetics#but you could piece together sacrifices made for the betterment of humanity from both religions and itâs been placed primarily on kuukou#pretty neat stuff and still kinda concerned if itâll go any further than just this chapter lol#c: kuukouđ
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if you like the mutual pining trope might i introduce you to the homie shitshow
#light.txt#right so basically this guy and i have been texting for quite some time#at first it was just about music and practice and stuff#but slowly we started talking about more random stuff#like exchanging posts we see which remind us of the other#(eg i send him stuff with the word âhomieâ and he sends me puns)#and so now we're homies đ#but more recently when we chat he says stuff like#âlove you too in a really gay wayâ#âđŞ looks like a deformed peanut...... deez nutsâ#âits okay [if you cant history] you just need to smoke harderâ#âbut you are also gay. does that mean i am gay??â#<- a small selection of the large variety of strange things#which is wonderful i love it#so the thing is (if you havent already figured it out) i like him . adn i tjink he likes me back .#which is going to be very interesting because i dont think either of us is going to confess first#but im considering . after i graduate from jc though. which is some time away.#this is all very funny bc i only thought of this possibility last night. im an idiot.#and uh. congrats if you made it this far . im not completely sure if what i think is correct so maybe reply and give me your thoughts?#idk man help :(
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I know Mai is sort of like the typical "kind of a bitch" female character that often has a lot of sexist tropes playing around, but for some reason... I actually like her?
#I don't know#She's rude and can be ruthless#but she actually seems kind of. not truly bad? Like a teen after all idk#A bit like how Todo seemed like the burly rude giant bully kind of guy but is sort of... sweet?#And though it surprised me at first it makes sense to me now that Todo and Mai seem to be... close?#They're The Mean Ones but actually they don't seem too bad idk#Kamo and Mechamaru gave me quite a more ruthless in a bad way feeling in that one Kyoto reunion they had with the disgusting old man#But it's also true they're Jujutsu teen sorcerers in that Jujutsu shitty society and their principal is asking this of them as is law#Megumi had that kind of reaction to Itadori as well at first because that's what the law says until he chose for himself otherwise#And the way it was presented with Gojo appearing later and asking about his 'personal feelings' and all that#as well as what we saw about the Tokyo school later on it seems like Gojo is enhancing#this 'think for yourself beyond the established rules' mindset to his students as opposed to the Kyoto school and that principal#I guessed right two months ago when I said I imagined the second school would be in Kyoto and that they'd be more traditional#Anyway... I can't truly blame the Kyoto kids either. I hope they get more critical about the situation#And I hope they beat the old man up in group with large sticks#All together united by how disgusting that guy is and how much he deserves to go down â¨đ#Utahime dear... I want to love you. What's your opinion on the old man? Do you like him? Do you share these views?#The fact that Gojo trusted her about the mole but didn't say anything to the old man gives me some hope#She also told the students to try and help each other a bit even if they're competing against each other#And Miwa and Todo seem kind of dear kids. I hope. I don't know. I hope she's not okay with sending kids to kill other kids#I'm not asking Nanami levels of decent but idk Gojoâ Ijichi and Shoko levels perhaps?#Or at least I hope she'll be an interesting awful if she's going to be awful#WAIT#TODO IS A KID#What was he doing fighting super powerful curses one year ago in that one Geto terrorist attack?#He was a second year?!#Why did they send him?#He goes to school!#Kamo said something about how age doesn't matter in Jujutsu BUT IT DOES. ASK NANAMI#Nanami please can you become the Kyoto teacher? Those kids need someone decent. WHY DID THEY SEND TODO
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welcome to all star. i am officially *adding* my team USA hat to my team phoenix mercury hat
#there was a lot today#putting aside the merc facilities stuff#the orange carpet show#âim wearing a white shirt black pants and black and white shoesâ#âmy closet's all blackâ yeah we know#right up there with i used to wear two watches#for the record me? i still wear two watches completely of my own volition#it's important to note that because i have borrowed inspirations before#back to these interviews . me? i knew she was there bc of that large off the shoulder seam in the frame#which for the record means there's more content coming from who idk#they also did not tell her she was going in for that interview oops#unfortunately i also have a handful of shirts that have too long shoulders#but that's bc i prefer the fit of men's shirts and they so often are not in my size#yes i follow that one guy on twitter that's how i know they don't fit#for me it is not intentional you have to call bella hadid#sorry i went on a ramble i've been thinking about the 2 watches thing for a while it's actually been a staple of my personality for quite#some time . actually i went back and forth between one and two bc the second one is a fitness tracker/apple watch#the first went from a digital watch thank you xc to analog bc i realized people complain about it less than a sport watch in pictures#like i said. ramble. my apologies. welcome to my lore
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Another thing thatâs happening is my ankle decided to grow a bone spur. So thatâs fun
#i imagine this has been in the process for quite a while but i only noticed it wednesday night when i was sat in my pants waiting for benji#to finish doing his business so we could go back inside#iâve been having pains in both of my ankles especially when i run basically. which.. i started running in december#so i imagine this has been in the works for that long#i think itâs only come up on my left ankle thus far because i have arthritis in my right knee so i overcompensate for it using my left leg#i was reading through the ways to prevent this from getting worse and itâs all so undescriptive i have to cry#theyâre like âget shoe insolesâ BUT WHAT KIIIIND#do i get heel cups? orthotics? arch support? like whatâs the vibe here#they also said to stop running on hard surfaces and i was like đ#i run on pavements exclusively because the only large grassy area near me is a sports field and itâs pretty much full of football boys#most of the time. also itâs REALLY uneven. the last time i tried running there i nearly twisted my ankle#i mean you will literally step in an entire hole without expecting it. and that makes my form way worse i feel like#the other option is i literally take a bus to the next town over to run at one of the parks or the beach but thatâs.. thatâs such a process#iâm trying to work out if a treadmill would be considered a hard surface#i feel like honestly a better pair of running trainers are probably the answer. i could wear my current trainers as an everyday shoe#since i donât consider them to be like.. bad or anything. theyâre sketcherâs arch fit so they do have Some arch support#i feel like honestly taking my slip-ons out of rotation for anything longer than a 5 min walk could help me out#since i genuinely spend WAY too much of my life wearing this 2 year old pair of canvas slip-ons from target that have zero support#of any kind. donât they call heel spur a âpump bumpâ? well i found the pumps in question#personal
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in terms of art alone im sorry. im a jrjr defender to my last breath you be fucking nice to him. i dont wanna hear shitâď¸âď¸âď¸
#can someone also get him better inkers rn i am begging. pleading even. HE MAKES GOOD STUFF THEY JUST GIVE HIM SHIT INKERS WHO DONT GET IT.#MY FIRM BELIEF. im sorry. i like his stuff. there are certain things not quite my taste but i think he does good overall im a fan. BE NICE#static.soundz#sorry that last post was so directly inspired by seeing someone go can u guys be nice he is on a fucking nutbag schedule. which he is.#i dont think some people understand the insanity of comic production. and how much it takes a toll on you.#many have said and i will say it too: comics is a killing industry. it is a beautiful fun job. it is fulfilling. it will also destroy you.#the most common and easiest to use example is in fact the manga industry. they want chapters in a week. 20 page type chapters in a week.#A WEEK!!! and currently look at things like webtoon as well which also expect the same amount of pages. in a week. an issue in a week#is an insane demand. it is an unreasonable demand. it is scheduling that leads you to a crash and burnout and health issues#because it is fully finished polished pages. as much as i poke and complain about how some things look there#i am also highly aware of production schedules. even if some styles are not my taste that still doesnt mean it isnt insane work#and it's the same in american big industry comics too. it isnt weekly demand the way those are. but it's still an intense schedule#you are working on pages and can get behind years before those comics even hit shelves.#and as it becomes more individualized too as we lose the team element and work becomes more one person doing all pencils and inks#that schedule is a lot. it just is. it doesnt matter if theres more time in comparison to other parts of the industry#the point is that it is all very demanding and exploitative. there is a drive yourself to your grave mentality here and i've had ppl try#to shove that mindset onto my and my peers which is the worst thing possible to encourage. highly alarming and disheartening to encourage#impressionable students already so worried about making it to drive themselves to an early grave. abuse substances to get through work.#work excessive hours while you still can because when you hit your 30s youre gonna lose that ability#become bitter and prepared for rejection as opposed to success because this industry sucks!#it's just such an unhealthy depressing mindset. i've had more artists preach the exact opposite as that and more ppl have been trying to#shift over to valuing your time and health. but still a lot of people are in that other mentality. and it's very very very sad.#i am only a student doing very low stakes homework for classes. i have no industry experience. and i still get it taken out of me#to do fully fledged out pages in my style in one week. this is also just a thing for me bc certain personal factors just make it hard#but still. comics are fun. they are fun. they are fulfilling. they will lead you to so many fucking issues if you are not highly careful#there is a reason why so so so many fucking comic artists have very well known issues. why you hear about so many ppl with substance issues#artists with very poor mental health. when you are in comics this is how it is.#i am glad there has been a big shift in recent years towards taking care of yourself as an artist. and that more ppl try to value it so tha#things can hopefully change at large in a broader sense. but please remember. we are an exploited chew up spit out industry too.
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âđđđđđ đ¸đđđđđŁđ¤
Discord 18+Â -Â Twitter
Pairing:Â Sanemi Shinazugawa x Female Reader
Summary: But you can see - in those deep violet eyes of his - three little words swimming behind them that he's been itching to say to you for quite some time now. You want to say them too, have for as long as you can remember.Â
But you're both Hashira. It's already enough that you both keep towing this dangerous line, finding yourselves in this exact predicament more often than not.
or
Sanemi is just so down bad for reader.
Story Warning: Smut, Alley Sex, P in V sex, Profanity bc c'mon...it's me, Vaginal Sex, Jealousy, Jealous Behavior, Fingering, Unprotected Sex, Creampie, Sanemi being bad at feelings, Secret Flings, Secretly in Love, Sneaking Around, Some canon Giyuu hate from Sanemi, Reader is a Hashira too!
Art by: krit961 (Twitter)
A/N: This is my first time writing for this fandom ever, but the Sanemi brainrot has been so INSANELY strong I just had to write SOMETHING up. It's nothing crazy and I'm rusty because it's been awhile for me but ugh. THIS ONE IS FOR YOU SANEMI!!!! Also shoutout to @lemonlover1110 for helping me with the title!
âWe should head backâŚâ You sigh, breaths coming rapidly. âBeforeâŚâ A quiet gasp interrupts your words when you feel the sting of teeth sinking into your neck. âBefore the others noticeâŚâ
âFuck the others,â a gravelly voice growls into the juncture of your neck. Large hands grasp your thighs hard, holding them wide open as a hard form sits between them. âDonât give a fuck if they notice, either. Maybe Tomioka will stop staring like a lovesick puppy if he figures it out.â
He buries his face further into your neck, grumbling against your skin. Something along the lines of âI hate that guyâ and âI should gouge his eyes outâ.
Your fingers slip into the snowy white tresses at the nape of his neck, gripping hard and pulling so that you can see his face. Pretty, long lashes cover hooded purple eyes that soften the moment they catch sight of you. The softness is such a contrast to the deep, pitted scars scattered along his face. But heâs beautiful all the same.
âSanemiâŚâ
At the sound of his name on your lips, he rolls his eyes. âIf youâre gonna defend himââ
âSanemi ââ
âI donât wanna hear it.âÂ
Your lips set into a deep frown, and Sanemi matches your expression, stubborn as ever. âWhat is your issue with Giyuu anyway?â
Sanemi scoffs, âGiyuuuuuu,â he mocks with a nasally tone. âStop talking about him.â
âYou brought him up!â
His mouth finds yours, rough and hungry, all consuming. Itâs all teeth and tongue, nipping at your lips because he knows theyâll still be just swollen enough by the time you both get back. Heâs marking his territory in his own way, as much as he can. Possessive and jealous, even when he knows he has no reason to be, no right to be. But he canât help it.
You donât belong to him, you donât belong to anyone. Because you know it wouldnât be smart to commit to any one person. Not in this line of work.
Sanemi has you pressed against the bamboo fencing in the darkest part of an alleyway, just outside of the Ubuyashiki Mansion with your legs wrapped tightly around his waist. Itâs your usual meeting spot when youâve been separated for some time, both of you too impatient to wait until the early morning hours when the Hashira meeting has finally ended to see each other.
âFuck me,â Sanemi groans against your lips. He places an arm beneath your ass, holding you up as his other hand hikes your uniform skirt up to your waist. âSwear this gets shorter every time I see you.â
A giggle slips past your lips, because it absolutely gets shorter every time he sees you. You do it on purpose because you know it drives Sanemi up the wall to see little peeks of your ass and not be able to do anything about it. Makes him even crazier that he knows others can see it, too, and he canât do anything but shoot death glares at anyone who dares to let their gazes roam.Â
But you canât let Sanemi know that. So you pout, laying your palms against his exposed chest and tracing his scars with your fingertips. You watch as his eyes flutter, sensitive to the touch. âYou donât like it? I can always request a change in uniformâŚâ
Sanemi groans, leaning forward and kissing you hard. âDonât you fuckinâ dare.â He presses his groin into your, evidence of his arousal against your soaking core. âYou look so good in it.â His hand slinks between your bodies, thumb going straight to your clit, where he presses down, a shit eating grin spreading across his face when your back arches off the wall and you moan. âLook even better in it when youâre making that face.â
Your nails dig into his scars and Sanemiâs reaction is automatic, hips rocking forward roughly and now youâre both whining into each otherâs mouths. Youâre sure if anyone came across the two of you, youâd appear as this horny couple who couldnât bother to wait until they got home to dry hump each other. And outside of the couple part, theyâd be correct. Sanemi ruts against you, his erection running deliciously along your clothed cunt. Your lips slot together, tongues deep in each otherâs mouths as Sanemi grunts into yours, and you keen into his.
Thereâs not much time to waste, youâre meant to be at the mansion soon. It would be suspicious if one Hashira, let alone two were missing when the Master arrived and if asked, the crows would spill your secrets in a heartbeat. You need to hurry. And Sanemi feels the pressure too. Even though he loves to annoy you pretending he doesnât care about being late or cluing in the others on whatâs going on, he would never disrespect the Master.Â
Pausing his movements and leaning back to peer down at you, Sanemi sighs. Heâs so painfully hard, his length throbbing within the confines of his uniform as he drinks in the sight of your kiss swollen lips, just the way he wanted them. And your face flushed, pupils blown wide as all hell with arousal. Heâs sure he looks much the same, knowing youâre just as possessive as he is, though you hardly show it. Itâs simply easier to hide your little territorial marks, the scratches you leave on him when they blend in so well among the rest of his scars.
Your fingers ghost along his chest, finding his nipples and you pinch the hardening buds, smirking when you see the way Sanemiâs eyes almost roll back. He canât take another fucking second of this teasing. Not after he hasnât seen you in who knows how long. He wants you badly that even your voice is enough to make him ruin his pants right now. Itâs the semi-annual Hashira meeting tonight and heâs not willing to wait until Himejima is done yapping to have you.
Sanemi tugs at his uniform, getting his pants down just barely enough to pull his cock out. The tip is angry, red, just as desperate to be inside you as Sanemi. It glistens with his desire for you and you only.
âGonna fuck you now, okay?â He tells you, hooking a finger into your undergarments and pulling them to the side. He runs his digits through your folds, hissing when he feels how drenched you are. It helps when he slips two fingers into you, mouth falling open when you throw your head back with a cry, your walls clamping around him. This Sanemiâs favorite part. Watching the way your brows knit together, how your pretty teeth dig into your plush bottom lip to bite back your moans, how your pussy makes the most lewd noises as he pumps his fingers into you.
You are glorious.
Always have been. Itâs why he can never get enough of you. Youâre insanely strong, clearly. Youâre a Hashira, standing alongside him and some of the strongest in the corps. But youâre also blessed with a beauty that rivals every woman Sanemi has ever laid eyes on. Heâs drawn to you in ways he cannot explain, ways he doesnât need an explanation for. Itâs why he hates catching the little glances from a certain other Hashira. Not that anyone knows what you two have going on, but all Sanemi knows is that he â
âSanemiâŚâ you whimper, eyes gazing softly at him. âPlease. I need you.â
And he doesnât need to hear more. His lips crash against yours as he swiftly pulls his fingers from you, gripping his length tightly and pumping himself. âHow bad do you need me?â He asks. Because he needs you so fucking bad right now he canât think straight. His mind is foggy, his body burns with his lust for you.Â
âSo, so bad, Sanemi,â you loop your arms around his neck, kissing him just as eagerly as he kisses you. âI need you more than anything.â
Sanemi groans, pressing the tip of his cock to your entrance. But his eyes never leave your face, even as the tip breaches your walls and makes him want to shut his eyes and focus on not cumming embarrassingly fast. He wants to see you, watch the way you lose yourself when he splits you open. The thought of it has him pulsing painfully in his hand. He rolls his hips forward, slowly, gritting his teeth when your wet warmth envelops him. âStill so goddamn tight for me,â he grunts. âYour greedy cunt is sucking me right in, fuck.â
Your nails dig into the fabric of Sanemiâs shirt, hanging on for dear life as Sanemi pushes deeper and deeper into you. As many times as youâve been in this position with Sanemi, it always feels like the first time. Heâs so long and thick, you have to adjust every time he slips into you.
âOh my god,â you whine, and Sanemi pauses.
âYou okay?â
âYesâŚjustâŚfuck me, please, SanemiâŚâ
He grips your thighs, pushing you back against the bamboo fencing to hold you in place. And then he thrusts forward, bottoming out in one swift motion and you both cry out in unison, the overwhelming pleasure making you both shudder.
âFucking hell,â Sanemi sighs. He places his hands beneath your ass, keeping you still while he rears his hips back, only to slam back into you over and over. He pounds into your pussy at a relentless pace. Half because youâre on one hell of a time crunch, and half because he canât help it. He feels animalistic when it comes to you, fucking into you mindlessly because it just feels so goddamn incredible. Every thrust feels better than the last, your warm walls clenching around him with each snap of his hips.
âI canât go that long without you againâŚâ Sanemi croaks, catching himself because he feels heâs getting too sentimental. â...without your pretty little pussy.â
âGod, just say you missed me, you asshole.â You tell him, moving your own hips to meet his strokes. Though your words come out as more of this pathetic whimper than an actual demand and it makes Sanemiâs hips stutter. Just briefly. His hands on your ass lift you up before pulling you to sink back down on him.
Sanemi chuckles, leaning back just enough so that he can look between your bodies, watch the sticky strings of your slick connecting you, watch how his dick disappears. âDid you miss me?â
âYes!â You cry when Sanemi hits a particularly tender spot. âShit, I missed you so much, Sanemi.â
His brows rise, a little surprised by the confession, and a loud one at that. âOh?â He kisses you hard, keeping his pace. Your confession turns him on more than heâs willing to admit. He missed you, too, though itâs harder for him to say so. Instead he fucks all of his feelings into you.Â
How he misses you when youâre apart, because his thoughts are dangerously distracted wondering what youâre doing, who youâre with, if youâre alive.
How he wishes youâd be assigned missions together, so he could watch you tear a demon's head straight from their shoulders. Then find somewhere to stay the night so he can fuck you on every surface possible (Heâs done this with you before. He wants to do it with you again).
How he wishes he could open his mouth and tell you how he truly feels.
But those feelings have always been foreign to him. Sanemi is lucky you understand his silence, that you accept his actions for what they are and let them speak for him. You accept everything he gives you happily. And as you tighten your legs around his waist, as you quietly let your pleasure be heard by him and him alone, as your walls clamp down around him with your release, convulsing and pulling him into you, Sanemi can only thank the Gods for every shitty circumstance that led him to you.
Does he deserve you? Probably not. Does he care? Absolutely not.
Because you chose him. This secretâŚwhatever this is. Out of anyone in this world, you chose Sanemi.
And itâs enough to send him over the edge with you, gasping desperately for air as he tries to find your lips again. He closes his eyes, pushing himself as deep as he can as his release floods your walls. Itâs so much, a build up over time and he knows his seed will be dripping out of your core before heâs even had a chance to pull out. Itâs always this way. Because Sanemi doesnât bother entertaining other women when heâs away. He only wants you. So the second heâs within the same vicinity as you, he has literally so much to give.
You never seem to mind.
Sanemi breaks the messy kiss, placing gentle, sweet pecks to your cheek before he leans back to stare down at you. That fucked out look on your face almost has him getting hard again. But you donât have time for that, so he just watches you and you watch him. And heâs glad for the fact that you canât see the way his mind is racing with only thoughts of you, thoughts of this feeling heâs buried so deep trying to claw its way up Sanemiâs throat.
But you can see - in those deep violet eyes of his - three little words swimming behind them that he's been itching to say to you for quite some time now. You want to say them too, have for as long as you can remember.Â
But you're both Hashira. It's already enough that you both keep towing this dangerous line, finding yourselves in this exact predicament more often than not.
It's a little more than ridiculous actually, the way neither of you can resist sneaking glances, hiding touches, making excuses to leave on missions together. You and SanemiâŚyou're drawn to each other, your strings of fate knotted tightly together. Itâs become impossible to leave each other alone. You don't think you'd be able to resist what you're doing even if you met as two civilians on the street. Hell, you couldn't resist each other all those years ago when you were low ranked corps members.Â
Training was a confusing hell back then, every session filled to the brim with fury and a strange and thick tension neither of you could put your finger on until way down the line. It wasn't until one particular training session when Sanemi had you pinned to the ground, his strong hips pressing into yours, that you then understood what that tension was. The evidence was apparent in the way Sanemi's hard stare bore into yours, how the heat between your legs began to ignite when you felt Sanemiâs thick length pulse against you, how something akin to a whimper fell from his lips when his gaze snapped down quickly just in time to watch the hem of your uniform skirt slip further, enough for him to see the way your bodies seemed to justâŚfit.
Then his eyes were back on your face, your lips, now parted as harsh breaths escaped you. Your eyes, wide and wanting, peered up at him from beneath your lashes and Sanemi remembers this being the very moment he stopped denying what he had always known. You are breathtakingly beautiful. He also recalls this being the moment he knew he was done for.Â
So when your hands found themselves placed against his not yet scarred chest, balling the sweaty fabric of his shirt in your fistsâŚwhen he leaned closer and curiously rolled his hips against your clothed core and heard you let out the most captivating sound he'd ever heard, a sound he's been obsessed with since he's heard itâŚwhen he pressed his lips lightly to yours and you whispered into his mouth âI've never done this beforeâ.
Yeah, Sanemi knew then that he was fucked.Â
And though that night was not the night you'd given your virginity to Sanemi - that would happen years later - it was the night Sanemi tasted you for the first time. And he devoured you time and time again like a man starved. He would have you any way and any time that he could, if you allowed him.Â
That was only the beginning.
Not much has changed in the years that you have been keeping up this arrangement with Sanemi. It's the only thing that you both keep coming back to, the only thing that feels solid. Though you both know it's stupid to feel as if anything in this line of work is not at risk.Â
Every night that you lie awake, together or not, is a reminder. Every semi-annual meeting with the Hashira, mentally taking a headcount of everyone is a reminder. Every Hashira meeting without Rengoku, without Tengen is a reminder.Â
Death is always standing just outside your door.
You can't afford to delude yourselves into thinking you can freely love and care for each other. Not until this thousand year war is over. Not until you are free to roam beneath the stars together without the scent of blood, the cries of pain and loss tainting the night.Â
So, as you and Sanemi slip into the gates of the Ubuyashiki Mansion, your fingers brush together just briefly - a silent display of those words you dare not mutter aloud. You make your way to your respective places amongst the strongest of the Demon Slayer corps; you, next to Tomioka and Sanemi beside the Serpent Hashira. And while you quietly mingle with those around you before the Master appears, you miss the hushed conversation further down the line.Â
âYou reek of her,â Obanai remarks. Resting around his shoulders, his snake whips his tongue out at Sanemi in almost an agreement.Â
âShut up.â
âYou're more tense than normal. Did you finally confess? Did she reject your advances?â
âI said shut up,â Sanemi growls. The chatter of everyone is already grinding on his nerves and your voice is not helping. He wants to look at you. See what - or who - has you giggling and speaking so sweetly that it's making him sick. It shouldn't matter. You can talk to whoever you want.
âExcept Tomioka,â Sanemi thinks. But it's only because he's so clearly in love with you! He can't understand how you don't see it.
âLooks like Tomioka is making his move,â Obanai notes quietly, like he read Sanemiâs mind.
Sanemi can hear the teasing tone in his voice. The asshole is really getting a kick out of this. Even still, it's enough to have Sanemiâs gaze snapping over to you just in time to see Tomioka and you smiling sweetly at each other, nodding and whispering amongst yourselves.Â
It shouldn't make Sanemi as upset as it does, just seeing you enjoy yourself with him, seeing him enjoy himself with you. Your smiles, your laughs, your kindness. It should only be for Sanemi. But you're a kind personâŚtoo kind. So kind you'd allow a monster like himself to fall in love with you.
Tomioka is much kinder, more understanding, better for you than Sanemi could ever be.Â
And so, seeing you and him bondâŚWell, it fills Sanemi with a rage so hot he finds himself standing, eyes locked on the back of your head. You must feel it, his gaze beating down on you like rays of heat from the sun itself, because you fall silent and your head snaps around. Your eyes find Sanemi's immediately, gaze wide and questioning.Â
Tomioka looks confused as well. âGood,â Sanemi thinks. He can't wait to see the look on the Water Hashira's face when Sanemi does what he's been wanting to, but admittedly too scared to do for so long â claim you as his in front of everyone.
He lets the fumes of his anger fuel him, gritting his teeth so hard his jaw hurts. And then he's opening his mouth to speak, tongue on the roof of his mouth as all other chatter dies and the eyes of the other Hashira land on him.Â
âI lo-â
âThe Master has arrived!â Twin voices call in unison.Â
And it's like muscle memory for every single Hashira, falling in line on one knee with their heads bowed as the Master approaches. His arrival extinguishes the fire that burned hazardously within Sanemi just seconds before, soothes the scorching left behind. His head is clear now, the reminder of why you both choose to keep your meetings between just you two evident.
You have a job to do. Defeating this evil comes before all things, even you. Though with the way Sanemi almost blew the lid off of your secret, he's not sure how much longer can go on without openly being with you.Â
But it sparks something within him - a new fire. One that burns solely for one purpose.Â
To defeat Kibutsuji MuzanâŚso that he can finally, and fully have you.Â
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