#masking up also protects people who aren’t able to mask
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iliveinprocrasti-nationn · 1 year ago
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fauci saying “vulnerable people will fall by the wayside” and that some will die but that’s ok because we’re not going to see the “tsunami of cases” we’ve seen before is so dehumanising. so babies with no immune system, elderly people, disabled people, and people without adequate access to healthcare can all die of covid. but it’s ok guys because actually they’re just falling to the wayside and everyone else will go back to normal and be fine (sarcasm).
my death or the deaths of my family or friends wouldn’t be us “falling by the wayside”, it would be us being failed by our government, healthcare systems, and communities who have refused to take coronavirus seriously despite mounting anecdotal and scientific evidence of the harm this virus does. fact that people can accept the deaths of vulnerable groups just because they want to eat in a restaurant or don’t want to wear a mask is horrifying
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none-tadashi-left-hiro · 8 months ago
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can you guys all please actually actually be so kind to each other and I mean it tangibly like stop being a coward about what you’ll lose cause it doesn’t fucking matter more than being kind and you know it just fucking do what you can we’ve already lost so much what is the fucking cost of being kind to you anymore. people are so fucking desensitized to their own bullshit they’re dealing with like they’re so casual and blaise and ignorant about things that even harm them directly like why not at least be kind about it why not at least deal with the bullshit that comes from being kind instead i am so sad abt this why do people have to make it so hard. like I get capitalism and colonialism and whatever plays into people being raised to be unkind but are we that fucking fallible like that really fucking sucks bro
#tagged#maybe I’m finally processing my emotions after pulling off the thing and maybe that’s good but I just don’t fucking know man#it fucking sucks#it could be 6 months of emotions I haven’t been able to fully process happening all at once#but it’s also like#am I just never gonna get closure on humans sucking ass as much as they do#am I never gonna get closure on the sheer amount of humans failing to be a safety net for the people who aren’t so kind bc turns out they#aren’t kind either#am i just gonna be fucked up abt this forever like I have been my entire life#like holy fuck god damn I am fucked up and all I can seem to do about it is try not to be fucked up to other people to keep myself sane#but what about me hello#is this the woman experience like#idk what to do bc almost no one is kind to me in a way I can fully trust#so I guess I’ll just bleed out kindness for others till I die I guess#and if I’m lucky it’ll teach them how to be kind back to me#but some people you can never be kind enough to I guess#is that really true#I get it’s to protect you from staying with toxic people forever#but what about never giving up on people what about being kind just to be kind#I don’t care abt being glorified for being kind i just want to know the kindness had an impact#I guess I’m supposed to care abt getting it back like sure yeah I deserve it too#but is that actually going to ever happen#so like whatever I’ll just keep being kind until I’m out and I just disintegrate quietly into the wind while no one even seems to like#sit with me and the weight of what I’m going through about it and really really try to be there for me even if I talk about it#I really am going though it holy fucking god damn#I thought I was mostly feeling more fucked around my period but it is a week after my period and I’m just feeeeeeling it Whoo#like I’ve slowly realized how often I’ve felt incredibly anxious and fucked up and then try to just go abt my day but it is so much more#than usual#and none of the therapists I’d maybe trust are taking insurance#how the fuck can you even start a therapist relationship when you want to vent abt covid and None of them are fucking masking anymore
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magics-neptunes-things · 2 months ago
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Survivor
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Hi guys!
This is a new part of the serie "Lia and the Firefighter", from a request that you can find here :)
Please enjoy ♥
TW : Fire, firefighter, injury, smoke, explosion.
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“Can you stop looking at each other like this?”
Katie talks just before rolling her eyes, looking at Lia and you. You were sitting around a big table in one of the Café loved by the team. You weren’t even talking to each other, to be honest. You moved your chair as close as Lia’s one, being a little behind her because of how many you were.
You like it that way though, like this you were able to pass an arm around her waist and kiss her cheek how many times you want without being seen by anyone. Well, unless Katie as it looks like.
“Don’t be jealous because Caitlin doesn’t look at you like this” you tease her back.
You see her arching an eyebrow, looking angry, but you also saw the corner of her lips tremble when she masked an amused smile.
“Don’t drag me to this” Caitlin, sitting next to Katie, smirks.
“Be nice, Pookie” Lia says to you, pinching softly your hip.
“Sorry”
You smile at Lia, flipping off Katie discreetly while kissing Lia’s cheek one more time.
“Yeah, be nice Pookie” you hear Katie mocking.
This is before hearing a sound that can only be a slap behind the head, followed by a growl of pain. No doubt, Caitlin asked her own girlfriend to stop teasing, in her own way.
Next to you, the others aren’t really paying much attention to you. Beth took Myle with her and it caught Alessia’s, Leah’s and Kyra’s attention right away. When Steph came with Calvin, it would have been utopian to hope for a second of attention from them. The dogs were happily eating almost half of the food the players were supposed to eat, but at least they were calm.
At first, when Lia proposed you to come and have coffee with her and her teammates, you said no when you learned that none of the girls' partners were present. You didn’t want to impose yourself on one of their times together, you know perfectly well that their agreement is essential for the good of the team. But then Leah grabs Lia’s phone and threatens to come for you if you weren’t here in ten minutes.
You don’t know what Lia exactly tells them about your relationship, but they know that you have irregular schedules and that sometimes you aren’t seeing each other for more than two days, especially when Lia is away for a game.
You miss her like crazy during this time, but you knew what your life would be when you got together. Plus, Lia is definitely worth the wait. And now that you are living together, it’s easier to have time together.
“Are you still hungry? Do you want more cake?” you ask Lia when you see that her plate is empty.
“I’m fine” Lia smiles.
“Another tea?” you try.
“Another tea will be great, thank you”
You answer her smile with one before getting up. You take Kyra’s mug when she asks you for another tea too with a smug smile, not without rolling your eyes.
“You are courageous to tease her like this” Beth comments to Katie. “She could crush you without even trying”
“Nah, Lia would protect me. Right, Wally?”
“Don’t push your chance” Lia smiles.
She loves the way you effortlessly slide into her group of friends, while still being yourself. Well, you are maybe not as clingy as you are at home, but you aren’t afraid to show how much she counts for you and Lia likes it.
Lost in reading the different possibilities of teas, you don’t feel your girlfriend’s eyes on you. You are in fact so lost in the menu that you miss a noise that you usually recognize in half of a second.
The explosion of one of the pipes inside the wall takes you by surprise. Like the other people you find yourself on the ground, needing several seconds before understanding what happened. The fire has already started and the only thing who comes to your mind is Lia.
You jump on your legs and look around, but with the smoke it’s hard to see through it. People are screaming and running around, and you really hope that Lia is already outside.
“Lia!” you still call, even if you know there is only a little chance for her to hear you.
She’s not near the table where they were seated, and you finally spot her a little far away. She’s looking around and you wonder if she’s confused and doesn’t find the exit. You’re too relieved to see her without any apparent injury to realize that she’s looking for you.
In two seconds, you are in front of her. Her pretty face is a little dirty because of the smoke when you take it between your hands.
“Come on. Let’s get you out of here.”
The Café is now empty, or at least you can’t see anyone because of the smoke. Finding the outside and fresh air is a relief for your lungs but for your anxiety too, you know that smoke can be dangerous for anyone, and you don’t want that for Lia.
You find the girls outside and after a quick mental count, you can confirm that they are all here.
You haven’t released Lia, trapped in your arms. She doesn’t seem to mind, though.
“Did you call the firefighters?” you ask one of the employees.
You nod when he answers that there is an automatic alarm, before lowering your eyes to look at Lia. She’s already looking at you.
“Are you okay?” you ask her.
She nods and you kiss her temple before taking a discreet but deep breath. She is okay, you shouldn’t be so concerned when you know that everything is fine with her. Your eyes roam the crowd while you’re waiting for the firefighters. You wonder who will come.
But then, you see him. A boy, who is maybe six or seven years old. He’s crying and a lady is trying to console him. You frown softly and you can’t fight your instinct, you want to comfort him too, explain to him that firefighters are coming and that everything will be alright.
“I’m coming back” you whisper to Lia.
She gives you a curious look, but you only smile at her and kiss her forehead, letting her go slowly before making your way to the boy and the woman you assumed is his mother.
“Hi there, Kiddo” you say, kneeling in front of him.
He looks at you silently, tears still flooding on his cheeks. But it’s okay, you weren’t expecting him to be better just because of your presence. You are on a day off; you aren’t wearing your uniform.
“That was pretty scary, yeah? But you don’t have to worry, my friends are coming, and they are the best firefighters in the world. It’s going to be alright, you are safe, okay?”
“Will they be able to save my mother and my baby sister?” he asks between two hiccups.
You frown, before looking at the woman near him. She gives you a sad smile and shrugs. And you are suddenly scared of what you are understanding.
“What do you mean?” you ask still calmly.
You don’t want to make him more upset than he already is. But inside, your heart is pounding.
“She went to the bathroom to change the diaper of my little sister. I didn’t want to go with them, so I was waiting at the table with my game and then there was this big boom”
You have to listen very carefully to understand what he’s saying between his cries, but you feel your blood freezing in your veins. You don’t see any woman with a baby, which means they are still trapped inside the building on fire.
“He was crying in the middle of the Café, so I took him with me” the other woman explains.
“You were right to do it. You saved his life”
You stand to look at the Café once again. Smoke is getting out of it; the explosion has broken some windows, and the doors aren’t closed as they should to avoid the air stirring the smoke. It doesn’t look good.
Your decision is already made.
You have to go back inside and save them. You aren’t aware that Lia heard everything and that she understands really quickly what is happening in your head. But you are quicker than her.
You don’t look back, so you don’t see Lia trying to run after you. You don’t see Steph catching up with Lia’s arm at the last moment, only thanks to her footballing reflexes. You don’t see that she needs Leah’s help. And you don’t see either Caitlin grabbing her proper girlfriend’s arm when Katie takes three steps to follow you, warning her with her eyes only.
Inside the Café, there are flames now, coming from where you supposed the explosion was. You know that place, so you don’t have trouble knowing where the bathroom is. But it feels strange to be near the fire like this without your uniform protecting you against it. The heat warms your skin in the most unpleasant way.
You cough a little because of the smoke but try to stay focused on your mission. Find the mother and the baby and get them out.
You decide to ignore the characteristic noises of the building, made with wood decoration, just before things start to fall from the ceiling.
The door handle is burning hot when you touch it to open the door of the ladies’ bathroom, but you grit your teeth and open it as slowly as you can, not wanting to create a backdraft.
“Is someone here?” you shout.
You protect your mouth with the sleeve of your hoodie, trying to breathe as little smoke as possible. But when you finally see the silhouettes of the people you were looking for, you kind of forgot this detail.
You kneel next to the woman, who put the face of her baby against her to protect her.
“Give her to me, I’ll help you”
She hesitates, probably a little taken aback from your look. After all, without your firefighter’s clothes, your tattoos and your appearance are probably more impressive. But she doesn’t have another choice.
You help her to get up and beacon her to follow you. The baby is crying in your arms but it’s a good thing for you, at least she’s still breathing and conscious. The smoke is darker than before and there are way more flames. It’s a little harder to find your way back like this and you miss your helmet very much.
You swear when you realize that a beam fell during this time, making it harder to get out. But you only have to look up to understand that there are way more beams who might fall soon.
You explain your plan to the mother. You stack several things to help her to pass over the beam on fire, before following her to give her her baby. And as soon as she’s outside, you look for other things to stack, because there is no one helping you from the inside.
It’s becoming harder and harder to breathe, between the smoke and the heat of the fire. You start to feel that your head is turning, and your reflexes are becoming lower and lower, which means you are running out of air.
You are able to jump to avoid the beam that fell where you were standing several seconds before. But then you fall backward and hit your head against the corner of a table.
The shock is hard, and you are out for some time. You don’t know if it is for several seconds or minutes. But then you hear the voice of your Commander, beckoning people in difficulty to hide under something. You know that the smoke is less strong if you are on the ground.
You finally lie somewhere under a table in the fetal position, not able to stay awake for more time.
********
You are startled awake suddenly, at least as much as you can be awake when you aren’t able to open your eyes. You hear people shouting around you and two big noises, like if someone suddenly had slammed two doors.
And then you feel your body moving without you able to do something against it. But with some thinking, you understand that you are in an ambulance.
“Her heart rate is stabilizing itself” you hear someone say.
Someone adjusts something on your face, and you understand that they put a mask on you to help you breathe better.
But then you hear a sniff, and you feel the person next to you turning in another direction.
“It’s going to be okay Ma’am. She’s safe now” another voice from the first says.
You don’t hear any answer and there is nothing but silence after that. But you, you feel your heart getting faster. Is Lia with you in the ambulance? What has she seen of you? How is she feeling?
“Her heart is beating faster again” says Voice One after the beeps of the monitoring get mad.
“What is happening?” Lia asks with a broken voice.
“Nothing to worry much about. Her body is adjusting to the trauma.”
Lia’s voice breaks your heart, and you try your best to stay calm. You don’t want to scare her more than she already is.
You probably fell asleep at some point, since you woke up in another place soon after. There is only silence there, but it helps you to try to understand what is happening. You can open your eyes for now again, or even move a single part of your body. There is still a mask on your face and a light weight on your hand to make you understand they probably put a catheter on it.
“Did you call her parents?”
You recognize Leah’s voice, the accent of the native of Milton Keynes making it easier for you. You are glad that she’s here for Lia, even if the other girl doesn’t answer something vocal.
“Do you want me to?”
There are some noises, and you guess that Leah probably just left the room. It’s hard to say how many minutes pass before you hear Lia moving too. You can’t see her but imagining her leaving the room too isn’t really pleasant for you.
On another hand, she could have her reasons. You knew from the first day of your relationship that your career might make her leave. You made a lot of decisions to protect her, even if she made you swear that you would never lie to her.
Today might be the day she decides that she has had enough.
But Lia isn’t leaving. You feel her stroke your knuckles and then your fingers. Her touch is comforting, like always, and you feel your body relax almost immediately.
Lia isn’t talking, but the comfort she brings you helps you to finally open your eyes. It’s hard to do, just like you are awakened in the middle of the night after a shift of 48 hours.
You look around and there is a flick next to you who makes you turn your head softly in that direction.
Lia’s green eyes are looking at you, unable to hide the surprise she feels when she realizes that you are awake.
She doesn’t seem to know what to say, but you do. You reach to take the mask on your hand, taking it off so you can talk.
“Please don’t leave me”
In your mind, you weren’t going to talk with a broken and almost cavernous voice, but you are. Lia doesn’t answer at first, taking the mask from your hand before putting it in its place.
“I am so mad at you” Lia whispers, coming closer to you. “But I’m not leaving in any way.”
You look at her eyes, knowing that she’s unable to lie to you in any way. And, to your big relief, she’s telling the truth. You feel your body relax again, probably helped by the caress Lia does now in your hair.
“Do you remember when you asked me to live with you? You said that you can’t imagine a world where I’m not with you”
You nod softly, not understanding at first where she wants to go with it. You remember, of course. You always have been scared to tell her how much you love her; how much you need her. In part because there are no words strong enough to say how crazy you are about her. But because you don’t want to scare her too.
“Can you please stop assuming that I’m not feeling the same way? I need you in my life too”
It’s another mystery for you, how you managed to catch a girl like Lia. And make her stay.
“Losing you would break me. Please, stop putting your life in danger. I’m okay with you working as a firefighter. I’m so proud of you because of it. But since now, you have to promise me to stay safe. For me. Please.”
She’s begging and it would be logical that she’s the one who should cry. But you shamefully feel some tears rolling on your face. Your throat is tight and makes it difficult to talk. So, you just nod and it’s enough for Lia for now.
She cups your cheek and wipes your tears with her thumb, before kissing your head softly.
“Okay” she whispers. “Now you have to rest. I’ll kick your ass later.”
You smile, even if you don’t know if she can see it behind your mask. 
“The baby” you whisper suddenly, remembering the family you tried to help.
“They are safe, all three of them. They are together. But please, don’t worry about the others. Worry about you now. Sleep, Pookie.”
You want to ask more questions, but your eyes are heavy, and you can’t resist much longer. You still can feel Lia’s presence next to you, helping you to have a real and deep sleep. She never left your side and finally doesn’t really kick your ass.
It’s finally your Commander who will do it several days after, even putting an advertisement on your head, making you do all the worst chores of the station when you will come back. It seems to amuse Lia a lot when you come back home, complaining after having cleaned the engines of all fire trucks in the firehouse all day long.
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free-for-all-fics · 20 days ago
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So I binge watched Squid Game season 2 a couple days ago and the brainrot is back in full force for The Recruiter and The Front Man. So here’s some more Squid Game prompts! Warning: These prompts are centered around Season 2 and contain spoilers! Pls tag me if you’re inspired by any of these and I’d love to read it! 🔴🔺🟥
1. You knew The Recruiter when he was younger, back before he worked in the games and was removing and burning up the bodies of countless people. He was like the game players and homeless people at one point in his life, having hit rock bottom. His actions in the park are an expression of self-hatred and an attempt to set himself apart from them. The Recruiter has nothing but contempt to people who choose the lottery and is more than happy to stomp the bread just to spite them, but he happens to at least approve the people who pick the bread.
“These things aren’t human. They’re just trash, uterrly useless in this world.” He kept telling himself that and worked hard for a few years. Then they gave him a gun. It felt pretty good. Like his existence was acknowledged for the first time in his life. He doesn’t know which year it was but one day he was about to shoot a man who had lost a game. The guy seemed familiar. His dad. His dad was suddenly standing right in front of him. He was in tears, desperately begging him to spare his life. He shot him right in the middle of his forehead, and realized, “Ah. I’m cut out for this job.”
He had absolutely no qualms about shooting his own father dead. He even admits that when he killed his father in the games, he realized he was totally the type for his job, mentioning no remorse or guilt. But what if him shooting his own father proved his loyalty to the people he worked for and so they rewarded him by making him a recruiter and letting him keep you, the love of his life or object of obsession from his past life in the outside world. Asking the Host and his higher ups for a companion is just one thing, but it’s a big thing, and he’s scared to death that he will never see you again once he asks. Most of the staff are ruthless killers motivated by profit, but out of all of them, The Recruiter is one of the few who seems genuinely psychopathic, his businesslike attitude masking a vicious sadist who revels in humiliation, torture, and murder.
Still, it’s nothing short of a miracle in his mind that he’s allowed to have you. You’re just living your life, but then you get kidnapped and brought to an undisclosed location and while the room you’re in is admittedly very nice, you’re terrified. Turns out your kidnapper is your childhood best friend or college sweetheart who you lost touch with years ago when he went into the games. To you, he ghosted you or went missing and you were never able to find him. His own family hadn’t heard from him and didn’t know where he was. He’d go so far to keep you that he’d fake your death. He spoils you rotten but he also punishes you if you misbehave or act out of line. Treats you like a princess, fucks you like a whore kind of thing. He doesn’t keep around those dog bone shaped gags and possibly even sex toys or buy you nice lingerie and jewelry for nothing. He doesn’t want to break you as you’re his favorite toy, but he’ll do what it takes to properly train you until you learn to accept your place as his lover. His amiable facade comes down and it turns out he's psychotic and it frightens you but a part of him gets off on your fear. You see yourself as a prisoner, but he insists it doesn’t have to be that way if you just relax and love him back and be a good girl. You loved him once, didn’t you? You were his only friend. The only woman he’s ever loved. How hard can it possibly be to love him again? He’s the only one who can protect you and love you now. Everyone else thinks you’re dead.
He’d go so far as to kill anyone who stands in his way of having you, even your significant other if you have one or your family and friends. The Recruiter absolutely enjoys what he does to his victims, especially during the Russian Roulette game. You have no one else to turn to for comfort or conversation besides him. A part of him hates it when you cry but the other part of him is turned on by your tears and the fear in your eyes. He doesn’t have a god complex, more like a death complex. He’s given himself over completely to his philosophy of death. He believes he’s Death incarnated into a man with how people’s lives are in his hands, and that includes yours. And aren’t there so many famous artworks of Death and His Maiden? Why shouldn’t he be able to keep you as his?
If he was your first ever sexual partner, he’d make for damn sure he’s the only one through silently and stealthily arranging for your other potential partners to die in tragic ��accidents” or go missing with their bodies never found. Just like he’s dedicated himself to the games, he’s dedicated himself to proving he’s worthy of you everyday by protecting you and giving you everything you ask for - except real freedom, of course. He can only give you semblances of freedom by allowing you outside under heavy guard watch or his watch. You can’t go anywhere alone anymore. You can’t have a cell phone that connects to the internet (or if you are allowed the internet, you’re only given access to certain websites while the rest are blocked) or any phone numbers except his. He’s practically isolated you.
2. Going off the idea of what if you knew The Recruiter back when he was younger and working in the games: Alongside him, you’re also a pink guard. You’re one of, if not the only female guard. The Recruiter is the first to find out that you’re a woman despite the mask covering your face, the voice modulator, and the suit covering your body. You spend a lot of time together when you have to shoot the eliminated players and then remove and burn the bodies. You use a separate channel on your walkie-talkies to have private conversations while you’re on a job during the games or to talk from your separate dorms after the day’s work is done. When other male guards try to attack or sexually assault you in your room for getting in the way of their illegal organ harvesting side hustle due to you shooting the bodies in the heart or head to ensure the players die quickly and make the organs unusable, he comes to your rescue when he hears the struggle over the walkie when you manage to press the button. He practically breaks your door down and takes the guards out with his bare hands or a random object in your room. He’s so strong and skilled he doesn’t even need to use a gun or a knife (in the show he subdued two men just with his briefcase). You watch as he subdues both guards, knocking them out with ease. He would’ve loved to kill them in that moment, but he doesn’t have the right to do that. He can only report the incident to the Captain/In-Ho. Pink guards cannot kill other pink guards. They’re only permitted to kill players. Only the Captain can kill pink guards.
After interrogating them and reviewing the security footage, In-ho kills the guards who attacked you and puts an end to the organ harvesting for that year by killing all of the guards operating it. Whether they sell off organs from the dead or devour them, he doesn’t give a damn. However, the most crucial element of this place is equality. Everyone is equal in these games, including guards. Players compete in a fair game under the same conditions. Guards work under the same conditions. They are to follow the instructions they are given. There is a principle to these games. And those guards that attacked you for being a woman and doing your job and the guards operating the organ harvesting side hustle broke that principle.
Later, after work is done for the day and guards are ordered to return to their rooms, The Recruiter sneaks into yours so that the two of you can have sex. When he saw you getting attacked, he wanted more than anything to rush to your side and comfort you and hold your hand and ride his adrenaline-filled high by having sex with you after subduing the guards, but duty called so he couldn’t. When In-ho is overlooking the security cameras and notices The Recruiter in your room instead of his own with both of your masks off, locked in a heavy make out session while he has you lifted in his arms, your legs wrapped around his waist and your arms wrapped around his neck, your fingers tangling in and pulling his hair while his hands cup under your thighs to hold you up against the wall, your pink jumpsuits half way unzipped, he changes the cameras to play back earlier footage of both you and him so that it looks like you’re alone in your rooms so his higher ups won’t suspect anything while you inevitably do whatever it is you want to do. The Recruiter and you have proven your loyalty. You both deserve a reward. As long as you’re both back in your own rooms by morning call, he doesn’t care.
After that, The Recruiter shoots his own father dead after he fails a game. You and he work your way up to becoming the recruiters you are now, possibly even posing as a friendly married couple to get vulnerable people to trust you more (even better if you’re actually married as it makes the ruse more convincing). You do love each other in your own way, but you also are well aware that love makes people incredibly easy to manipulate and you use that to your advantage in your line of work. Together you prey on people who are hanging by a thread and are the best performing recruiters the games have ever had. In the privacy of your home, you listen to opera music, share drinks, and get down to all kinds of kinky shit when you find yourselves in the mood. You take turns when it comes to who’s dominant and who’s submissive, and your sex games often include bondage, roleplay, pain, and blood. And sometimes the blood isn’t even yours or his. When people get nosy for their too damn good, you and/or he have to take care of that.
3. Underneath the smiling facade, The Recruiter is little more than a small fry. When Gi-hun repeatedly calls him a lapdog and considers him nothing compared to whoever he works for, it gets under his skin, although he doesn't have a complete breakdown over it. Getting reminded of this repeatedly is part of why The Recruiter eventually shoots himself in the chin. But let’s pretend The Recruiter doesn’t commit suicide. Instead of being strictly dominant or strictly submissive, this man is a switch. While he loves to be in control sometimes and use your body however he wants, there’s also times when it’s you who’s the dominant one. You dress up and behave as a dominatrix while you put a mask over his face to blindfold him, gag him with the bone shaped gags and tie him up, doing to him whatever you want and calling him your dog. Your good boy. He runs, barks, wags his tail, does whatever you, his mistress, says and you reward him with praise, treats, etc. You do the same thing when it’s his turn to be the master and for you to be his good girl, his bitch. This man would probably be into puppy play whether it’s you who’s the puppy or him. And yeah that would probably include either of you being locked in a human sized cage or an actual dog kennel as punishment for whenever you misbehave. You’d take turns between who’s holding the leash and who’s on it on all fours, etc. The sex acts you do together, this dominatrix and roleplay arrangement you have, it’s like therapy for him in a way. A way for him to reclaim being called a dog when he was young and poor and turning it into something good. Even if it’s dehumanizing at times. The humiliation and the sadism is part of what turns you both on. Of course you’d have a safe word, aftercare, and all of that. But let’s be real: He’s just as skilled as you are at taking orders, deepthroating objects, and being penetrated.
4. Inspired by the film “The Odds”: You join an underground game of pain endurance, hoping to win the cash prize of one billion won. But it’s not the traditional squid games where you’re competing with other players in person. This is something different. This is the squid games before the squid games became what it is today. Instead, you’re isolated in a windowless room with little more than a table, a couple of chairs, a cot to sleep in and a toilet to shit in. It’s like a prison almost. Whenever you’re given a shower, if ever, you’re heavily sedated so you don’t lash out against the workers bathing you. The Recruiter is one of many who are assigned to players to keep them company, explain the rules of each game, and oversee their progress. Each player has their own recruiter assigned to them and The Recruiter we’re familiar with in the show is the one assigned to you. You have nobody else but him to keep you company. You don’t ever see anyone, don’t ever hear anyone except for him. He looks awfully familiar and you have a strong feeling you’ve met him before, that you know him from somewhere. Throughout the course of the week that you’re there, you’re determined to figure out how you know him. In the meantime, you flirt with each other, playfully talk about getting married and having a house and kids when you get out.
But at some point during the course of the games, the playfulness erodes and The Recruiter turns dead serious, revealing that he’s so in love with you that it’s like an unhinged obsession. Maybe you choosing to come here was in actuality you being lured into a trap, all a part of his elaborate plan to finally get you right where he wants you to fulfill his sick and twisted romantic and sexual fantasies. Maybe before that, he paid sex workers and strangers who looked like you to sleep with him, just to keep him satiated so he wouldn’t snap and kidnap you before the time was right. He might’ve gone so far as to call them by your name and become really scary real fast if they tried to correct him. The things he did to those women might’ve been so bad that they were unspeakable. But he paid good hush money to keep them quiet. And if that didn’t work, a bullet always did. But sleeping with all those women could never live up to the real thing. Nobody watching you now would be able to hear you nor would they care if he had sex with you in between games. He’s done it before with desperate female players who wanted to stay alive a little longer. And if they performed sexual favors for him as he asked - more like ordered them to do - Who is he to deny pretty women an extra five minutes of being allowed to breathe before he pulls the trigger? A deal is a deal and he’s a businessman.
He’s a man of do the wrong thing, yield rewards. To him, he’d feel like he’s entitled to your love and your body after all he went through in his life to get to this point. He’s worked his way up from a nobody who just disposed of and burned bodies, then they gave him a gun, then he became a recruiter. One of the best if not the best in the company. He’d kill for you. Even if you don’t ask him to. Even if you plead with him not to do anything and let it go. But he’s also so unhinged he might even hurt or kill you if you fail to live up to his deluded fantasies. If he does hurt you, he’d do the classic, “Look what you made me do! I didn’t want to have to do that. I didn’t want to hurt you but you gave me no choice so this is all your fault and not mine,” shtick.
You soon discover the game's rigged, and your real opponent is The Recruiter - a sadistic psychopath, who works for the Host and the organizers of the game and knows everything about you. He knows why you’re here and about your child, bringing them up to keep you motivated to continue before you ever mention them to him. He’s just one of many of a network of people ranging from VIPs to guards who are part of this game. The way you see it, you have three choices: Provoke The Recruiter into killing you if you don’t die from the games before then, give into The Recruiter’s sexual advances to survive without playing all of the games and join him, becoming his lover/wife and possibly a Recruiter yourself, or survive through all of the games and kill The Recruiter. He keeps saying you can leave at any point but you realize over time that this is a lie and if you try to leave, you’ll be shot dead either by him or one of the guards.
(Below is some dialogue from the movie with some minor changes to showcase how Recruiter coded this scenario is.)
~
“So, yes, it is necessary to keep the location a secret due to the legal technicalities of the game. You know the rules, right?”
“Yup, but you can tell me again, Mr...”
“No names. It works better for me if we keep things less personal, you know?”
“Right. Kind of like a manager-employee relationship. I get it.”
“If you like. Anyway, the game, there are 19 other players at 19 other locations just like this.”
“In this city?”
“All over the country. There's a clearing house that receives and broadcasts the signal to select clientele. The same clearing house acts as a broker for all wages concerning the game.” He puts in his earpiece and presses a button. “Receiving end, online? Okay. Yeah, just a couple minutes, we'll get started.” He sits across from you at the table.
“Have you done this a lot?”
“A few times, yeah. There are five preliminary rounds followed by the finalist round. If you leave at any point during the preliminary rounds, you will leave with zero prize money.”
“I won't quit.”
“All players who get to the finalist round are committed to the game and may not leave.”
“I said I won't quit.”
“Okay. Now, the finalists will continue to play until there's only one player left. That winner will receive the money.”
“Have you ever hosted a winner?”
“Let's not worry about that. You just stay focused.”
“It's weird that people would bet on something like this.”
“Do you know any real gamblers? Real gamblers will make odds on anything.”
“And the prize money, it's a lot?”
“Some people think so.”
“I heard it was a billion won.”
“Where'd you hear that?”
“Same place I heard about the game.”
“Hm. That's correct, and the funds will be deposited in the winner's account.”
“They must pay you a lot. That's why you're here, right?”
“I'm here for the same reason as you.”
“I doubt that.”
“Now it's almost time.” He takes a candle out of his briefcase and sets it on the table.
“I thought there was gonna be a gun.”
“Not yet.”
“Have I met you before?”
He listens to his device. “Congratulations, your drug test came back clean.”
“Of course it did.”
“I'm sorry, we have to check. Some players come in high, performance enhancing drugs, so to speak.”
“Well, drugs are where you go when you can't stand the pain anymore.”
“Where do you go, if you don't have drugs?”
“I guess we'll find out.”
He listens to his device. “Hm. Yes? We're good. You're good? Okay, standing by.”
“I know that they can see us, but can they...”
“Hear us? No. Say what you want. Your secrets are safe with me.”
“I don't have any secrets.”
“Everyone has secrets.”
“No, all my shit's pretty much out in the open.”
“All the shit you know about.”
“I think I know my shit pretty well.”
“This game has a way of illuminating a person.” He lights the candle.
“Oh, that's nice. You gonna put on some mood music? I'll take the Chardonnay.”
“So here's what's gonna happen, round one, on my signal, you, along with 19 other players, will hold your hand over the candle and keep it there. When three people have removed their hand, the round is over. Those players are out of the game. Everyone else will advance to the next round. Understand? Hello?”
“Yeah, I just... I heard it was different.”
“Used to be. They like to change things up, keep it exciting. You don't have to do this. It's still not too late to leave.”
“I've got nowhere else to be.”
“How about a home?”
“I messed that up.”
“You must have family somewhere. Everyone has family.”
“Do you?”
“Yeah. Sure.”
“Kids?”
“No.”
“But if you did, how would you feel if someone took him or her away from you?”
“I guess I wouldn't like it.”
“And how would you feel knowing that he or she should've been taken away from you...that she...he, was better off...and that maybe now the only thing to do is to win a big pile of money so that he or she could have the kind of life that he or she deserves?”
“Hm. I don't think I'd ever risk my life over a pile of money.”
“Well, that's all mine's good for at this point.”
“Hey, listen. Look at me. We're in this together, you and me. I'm rooting for you, you understand? So just settle in. We'll do this. Word of advice, this is as much a mental game as anything else, so just keep that in mind if you really want to see this through to the end.”
“I'm gonna hear the words ‘you win’, or I'm not gonna hear anything at all.”
“That's it. Visualize success, that's good.”
“You say that to all your players?”
“Just the ones that seem to need it.”
“Have you ever played, from my side?”
“Let's get through round one, then we'll talk. We're about to begin. Last chance before the pain starts.”
“The pain started a long time ago.”
~
Round One
You hold your hand over the candle, while The Recruiter encourages you the whole time.
“That's it. Keep going. You can do this. Come on. Just breathe. Focus on breathing. You can do this. Come on. Just breathe. Okay, focus on breathing. Focus on breathing. Another player's out. Just one more player. Just one more player has to quit. Number three's out! You made it. You did it. Let me see. Come on.” He takes out a first aid kit from his briefcase and treats your wound. “So, we made a deal, and no, I haven't played the game from your side of the table.”
“How many?”
“How many what?”
“How many times have you done this?”
“14.”
“And how many of those players won?”
“You don't want to know.” A long pause before he finally answers, “None of them. Most players quit before the final round.”
“But some of them made it.”
“I've seen two men and three women blow their brains out.”
“You're just a little bad luck charm, aren't you? Did you ask the other players why they did it?”
“Same reason as you, the money.”
“Same reason as everyone I'm playing against now?”
“I wouldn't worry about the other players.”
“I just want to know who my competition is.”
“Most games, you're competing against someone, right? But in this game, you can't affect the other players. Can they make you leave this room? Who can?”
“You could try.”
“Okay, take me out. Who does that leave? That's right, you. And that's what they're betting on, how much you can take.”
“I'll take whatever you throw at me.”
“It won't be me throwing it at you.”
“So there is someone else here.”
“I'm a facilitator. The challenges for each round, they've been chosen by the organizers.”
“So it's not you. You're just doing their dirty work for them.”
“I didn't make you come here. I didn't make you sit there. I didn't force you to put your hand over a candle. You think I enjoy watching you do this? You think I like watching people hurt themselves? Man. Things I've seen, you don't forget it, you know?”
“Then why do you keep doing it?”
“You've never done something you knew wasn't good for you? Sit down. We're on the same side. That's the thing about this game, it...” He’s interrupted by information coming through his earpiece. “Round two, ready.”
“The thing about this game?”
“What?”
“You were just about to say ‘the thing about this game.’”
“The thing about this game is that it changes you.”
“Good?”
“I don't know how good it's been for me.”
“Maybe you've been playing from the wrong side of the table. Are you sure we haven't met before?”
“It's time.”
~
Round Two
“Round two. Players will put their bare right foot inside the box. The three that remove their feet lose. The rest move onto the next round.”
“And there's something in the box?”
“Yes.”
“And you don't know what it is?”
“No.”
Something from inside the box moves and makes a noise, causing you to jump.
“Hey, hey. It's okay.”
“What's in there?”
“I don't know.”
“That's bullshit.”
“They don't tell us.”
“You said that you have done this before.”
“It's different every time. It's probably not as bad as you think.”
“Fuck it, I'm out of here.”
“Now wait. What about your child?”
“Why do you care? You get paid anyway, I assume.”
He removes his ear piece so the organizers won’t hear what he says to you next. “Are you afraid of rats?”
“What?”
“Are you afraid of rats?” He puts his earpiece back in. “You need to decide, soon. One player just dropped out. That just leaves two for elimination.”
“This is insane.” You remove your shoe and sock. “So it's just in there waiting for me to put my foot in?”
“There's a separation barrier. When I get the signal, I remove it.”
“How fun for you.”
“I'm right here with you.”
“That's a comfort.”
“No, I mean it, okay? I'll help you.”
“You better.”
“It's almost time.”
“I must be crazy.”
You put your foot in the box.
“You got this.”
“I got this.”
“I mean, nothing's gonna happen. Oh, god, it's moving. It keeps moving.”
“Breathe. Mm-hm.”
“It's touching me, it's touching me. It's on me. It's off, it's off, it's off. Oh, fuck!”
“Think something else, okay? Don't think about this.”
“Oh, God, ow, ow, ow! It's back on me.”
“Think of something else. Okay, think of something else, don't think about this.”
“Oh, shit. I can't do this.”
“You can, yes, you can.”
“Ow, it's biting me! It's biting me.”
“No, it's not... One player's out, okay? That just leaves one more left.”
“Ow! Ow, it's eating me!”
“Look at me, look at me! I'm right here with you. Do it for me. Say it. Say it!”
“Do it for you. Do it for you.”
“Good. Again.”
“Do it for you.”
“Good. Again.”
“Do it for you. Do it for you. Do it for you. Do it for you. Do it for you. Do it for you. Do it for you.”
“That's it! It's over. It's over.”
You remove your bleeding foot from the box and cry in The Recruiter’s arms as he holds you.
~
He’s wrapping your foot with fresh white gauze. “Don't look. Okay.” He kisses your bandaged foot. “I kissed your boo-boo.”
You have some time to kill while you and he wait for the next game. He gives you a bottle of water. You need to stay hydrated. Lots of water.
“Gonna figure out where I know you from.”
“Well, good luck. Okay, let's say you don't quit.”
“I won't.”
“Right, you won't. Let's say you make it. You've already told me what you're gonna do for your child. What are you gonna do for you? If you really think you're gonna make it through, you should have a plan.”
“Yeah, well, I'm not really big on plans.”
“No, seriously, instead of giving your child the money, why don't you take them somewhere instead? Find a nice quiet place, bring along their daddy.”
“You had me going till you mentioned that asshole.”
“Okay, not him, a nice guy.”
“Why is it that everyone thinks that if a woman has problems, a man is somehow the answer?”
“You don't believe in love?”
“Maybe some people just aren't meant for it. Maybe they're just not built...for it.”
“Maybe some people haven't met the right guy.”
“And that's you? From bad luck charm to Mr. Right?”
“You could do worse.”
“Okay. All right. So say it is you, Prince Charming, man of my dreams, we're living together.”
“Mm-hm, married.”
“Really?”
“I don't do that cohabitation shit. You either commit or you get out.”
“And that's you? Mr. Commitment?”
“Damn straight.”
“So, is this a proposal?”
“I guess it is.”
“Well, either it is or it isn't.”
“It is.”
“Sweep me up my feet, why don't you?”
“You don't find this place romantic? So, we're in our home...”
“I didn't say yes.”
“You playing hard to get?”
“No. Yes. Maybe. A little. I mean, come on, we just started dating. How do I know you're not just marrying me for my money?”
“What if I don't need your money? What if I already have money?”
“Great, then let's get outta here. I don't have to do this anymore.”
“Well, then again, maybe I don't have that much money.”
“Okay, so, no money. Why should I say yes?”
“Because, deep down inside, you believe in love too. So, what's it gonna be?”
“How about we get through the next round, then I'll tell you.”
“You are playing hard to get. Ready for round three.”
~
Round Three
“What the fuck is it? Or should I ask what goes in it?”
“Your other foot. We go till three players drop out. You can do this.”
“Have you ever done this one before?”
“No. This is new territory for me. They're telling me we need to get ready.”
“Should I sit or stand?”
“Whatever you prefer. We're ready.”
“I don't suppose anybody's dropped out yet. Just wait.”
“Okay. Round three, turn one. I'm sorry.”
“That feels as bad as it looks.”
“All players are still in. Second turn. Hey, hey, hey, hey. Do it for me, remember?”
“Wait, wait for me. Wait.”
“Turn number three.”
You pass out from the pain. You wake up to his voice.
“Player three has quit.”
~
He wraps up your other foot. “There. All better.”
“You’re pretty good at that.”
“One of my many talents.”
“Nine players are out by my count.”
“You're knocking them down. So...what about the answer now?”
“The answer to what?”
“Are we gonna do it, when all this is over? Are we gonna tie the knot?”
“Sure.”
“Well, then. Well, then how about a kiss for your fiancé?”
He kisses you. While he does, he slips a pill into your hand. “It's for the pain. Don't let them see,” he whispers into your ear. “Well, passed the halfway point.”
“Yeah, after this, marriage should be easy.”
“Yeah. Maybe every couple should go through something like this.”
“It's a great story to tell the grandkids.”
“Grandkids? We haven't even gone on the honeymoon.”
“Please, honeymoon.”
“Why not? Must be somewhere you want to go. Vegas, Paris, Costa Rica?”
“Not really.”
“Come on, nothing? Nothing interests you? And afterwards, when we get back to our apartment in the city...”
“In our house in the country.”
“Country's boring.”
“Can't have horses in the city.”
“Horses? More than one?”
“You can't have just one horse.”
“I'm not shoveling horse shit.”
“Fine, I want a divorce.”
“On what grounds?”
“Irreconcilable differences.”
“Okay, fine. A house in the country with horses.”
“Wow, what a pushover.”
“What can I say? I'm in love.”
You lay down on the ground with him, side by side, staring up at the ceiling.
His hands are behind his head. “You know, you can rest in that house in the woods.”
“Then I'd sleep for a week.”
“And after you wake up?”
“I don't know, maybe plant a garden.”
“What do you know about gardens?”
“As much as I know about anything else, I guess.”
“You think you could keep a bunch of plants alive?”
“What about you, mister? You're just gonna live off my money?”
He sits up. “There's lots of stuff I can do.” He gets up off the ground.
“I didn't mean anything by it.”
“I know what you meant.”
“Come on, I was just joking.”
“Sounded like an insult.”
“Why would I insult you? You're the only friend that I have.”
“That's true. Standing by.”
“God, can't they just give it a minute?”
“I know, like, what are they in a hurry for? They'll make their money.”
“Have you met them, the people running this?”
“A couple. They're not like what you think.”
“I think they're a bunch of weirdos who get off watching sick shit.”
“That's not it, at all. They're more like researchers of human behavior, and this is the ultimate laboratory.”
“Come on.”
“No, seriously, how do you think they have the money to fund an operation like this? They get to bet on human behavior every day, and win. Of course they'd be interested in a game like this.”
“We're just pawns to them. I doubt they even see us as people at all.”
“But it doesn't really matter what they think though, does it? And anyway, you should be grateful they've even given you this opportunity. If you weren't here, where would you be?” He sits on the table and slides his body over to you. “On the street, in a crack house sucking dick for a fix until your looks rot away and your teeth fall out? Where would your child be? In a group home getting daily beat downs from all the other toss aways with fuck-ups for parents. You know, you should be thanking the people who created this game, and you should be thanking me. This is the best opportunity for someone who screwed up all their other options.”
“Well, I'll be sure to send them thank you notes later.”
He suddenly smiles. “Look at that, our first fight. Come on, I was just playing. Let's get back to our house.”
“Maybe later.”
“Time’s up.”
~
Round Four
“How long can you hold your breath? It's a simple question, really. How long can you hold your breath?”
“I don't know.”
“Round four is easy. You just have to hold your breath.”
“I just have to hold my breath?”
“Yeah, well, that is while I'm holding your head underwater. You don't have a fear of drowning, do you? Hydrophobia, I think it's called. 'Cause if you did, this will be pretty tough.” He takes a bullet out of his pocket. “Bite on this. I'm kidding, just hold onto it. Jeez. Here's what's gonna happen, you're gonna face the tank, and when the time comes, I'm gonna hold your head under the water. You... You hold your arm out. If you want me to let you up, you just let go of the bullet. See? First three players to let go are out. Everyone else stays. You trust me, right? Well, you should, we're married.”
“I guess.”
“You guess? What do you mean you guess? You wouldn't marry somebody you don't trust, would you? Good. You know, it's good that you trust me 'cause that way you know that when it's time when everyone drops out, I won't just keep your head under the water. Oh. Looks like we have someone afraid of drowning. Our first dropout. You're not gonna drop out, right?”
“Right.”
“Because you want that house in the country, and you trust me, right?”
“Right.”
“Say it.”
“I trust you.”
“And you love me. Say it.”
“I love you.”
“Oh.” He tucks your hair behind your ear. “Whoops. Looks like we got another dropout. Okay, we got to get this thing going before we lose any more. Deep breaths. When the third player quits, I'll let you up. Get ready. On the count of three. One. Two. Three.”
While your head is underwater, you dissociate and experience flashbacks of your life before this, of your child. “I love you.” You hear their voice say. That’s the last thing you see before The Recruiter pulls you back up as you cough and move your wet hair out of your face.
“I thought you were gone! Jesus, why didn't you let go of the bullet?”
“I swallowed it. Only way to make sure that I didn't drop it.”
The Recruiter gives you a towel, admittedly impressed.
~
“You know, with a little effort you could be a very attractive woman.”
“What am I supposed to say to that?”
“Well, when someone compliments you, it's polite to thank 'em.”
“Thank you.”
“How many guys have you dated?”
“How's that any of your business?”
“Well, if we're gonna be married, it's something a husband should know. Come on.”
“Come on, what?”
“How many?”
“I don't know.”
“That many?”
“Do you want to know how many I've dated, or how many I've fucked? Because I didn't keep count, but it was a lot. And sometimes I didn't even know their names.”
“Now why do I get the feeling that you're saying this just to hurt me?”
“You're sick in the head.”
“I bet you were a real looker. I bet the boys couldn't keep their hands off you. Hey, how old were you when you did it the first time? Sweet 16, 15? Yeah. You were an early bloomer.” He cups your breast and you instinctively slap him. He slaps you back, harder. “I'm sorry, but you should not have made me do that.”
“You know, you can't do whatever the fuck you want.”
“Come on, don't be like that. Let's get back to how it was before. And, you know, to tell you the truth, I've been wanting to do that for a while now.”
“You can't do whatever it is that you want.”
“Who are you kidding? Like you didn't want me to.”
“What?”
“Look, if you didn't want me to do that, why are you still here? You could've left at any time.”
“I’m here for the game, that's all.”
“Maybe this is part of it. You ever think about that?”
“No.”
“No? Well, of course it is. Why else would you be here?”
“For my child.”
“No!” He slams his hand on the table. “Don't give me that shit. No one saves us but ourselves. No one can and no one may. We alone walk the path. The Buddha said that. He was a smart guy, everyone says so. You put yourself here. You decided to stay 'cause you know that we belong together.”
“I didn't ask for any of this.”
“Why else are you here? Look, you could've gone any time. There's the door. It's always been there. Go on. Go on if this is so wrong. Nobody's stopping you. You won't go, because you know you belong here. You deserve this. Your whole life has been a long, long path that's led you to me.” He grabs your face and forcefully kisses you while you sob. At that moment, a guard walks in with a long bag containing something for the next game, causing him to move away and break the kiss. “We're on a schedule. You might want to reconsider. This might be your last chance.”
“For what?”
“To make love as a whole person. Round five. Here's where you really start to leave some skin in the game, so to speak.” He opens the bag, revealing a red hot branding iron. “It's not that bad, really. The Yakuza, you know the Yakuza, right? Japanese mafia, they do this kind of thing all the time. When they've screwed up, they remove body parts. It’s how they apologize for... Oh, forget it. Just take my word for it, you're not the first, you won't be the last, unless you want to leave. You go through with this, you won't be the same. Some cultures would consider you heavily scarred. Personally, I think you'll be plenty serviceable, but, you know.... If you're afraid of the pain, I can give you another Oxy.”
You take the Oxy that he gave you out of your pocket and set it on the table. He quickly swipes it off the table and puts it in pocket so the organizers don’t see.
“Jesus! Suit yourself. After this round, you'll probably be a freak, probably have a limp, from your legs being burned so much. Who will want to fuck you then?”
“I’m sure as long as I have all my lady parts, any sick fuck like you will.”
He pulls out protective gloves from the bag and puts them on. He takes hold of the branding rod.
“We're ready. Scoot your chair forward and remove your pants.”
You do as instructed, not letting yourself feel embarrassed for being sat half naked in front of him.
~
Round Five
Your ears ring from all the pain you’ve suffered so far. The skin on your thighs is burning still, your once flawless skin now marred with dark patches. Luckily the brand isn’t engraved with anything, but you know The Recruiter still gets a sick joy out of branding you. Like he thinks doing so means he owns you. Still, The Recruiter admits to you that he’s impressed with how many burns you’ve been able to endure so far. Some turns he held the branding iron to your skin longer than others, making the coloration in your skin vary. As the rounds progressed, you moved up from your thighs to one of your arms.
“Well, it's about time now. Turn seven. After this, your wrist will hurt so bad you won't be able to pull the trigger with your left hand. That career in trick shooting, it's out. Go on, get ready. You know, think about it, you don't really use your left arm much anyway. It's a right-handed world, you know?”
You’re whimpering and sobbing from the pain. Despite how difficult it is, you get up from your chair and walk away. You stand in front of the door.
“You're about to lose. You go through that door, all of this would've been for nothing. Is that what you want?”
You knock on the door.
“Wait! Three players have all just dropped out. You made it. Don't do it.”
“I have to pee.”
A masked guard opens the door and escorts you to the bathroom. He’s standing there the whole time, watching you impassively while you wash your hands and have an emotional breakdown in the corner. You stare at yourself in the mirror and gradually calm down, your resolve hardening as you think about your child. You hold a middle finger up in the mirror and pretend you’re giving it to The Recruiter.
~
When you make it back to the room, The Recruiter is sat in a chair, holding your discarded underwear in his hand. At some point during the game, it was too painful to wear them when the fabric brushed against the burns on your upper thighs.
“You mind? I thought I'd hold onto these. You know, something to remind me of our time together. What? Like you're not gonna use 'em. I’ll buy you much nicer lingerie to wear for me when this is over.” He tucks your underwear into his inner suit jacket pocket. “Well, sit if you're gonna. You know, I'll tell you something. I knew from the moment I saw you that you'd go the distance.”
“Is that right?”
“Mm-hm. Damaged people are tough. Fire, temper, steel, and all that.”
“You could tell I was damaged, huh.”
“Honey, you shone like a lighthouse. I wish I could've bet on you.” He gestures to the revolver on the table in between you. “Ever use one of those before? Don't worry, they're pretty user-friendly. You just point and click. If you don't hear the click, you're already dead.”
“Have you been a dick to all the players you've done this with, or am I just special?”
“I mean, they're all special, really, but if it makes you feel any better, you're my favorite.” He winks at you.
It’s finally clicked for you who The Recruiter is. “I knew I'd met you before.”
“No. I’d remember you.”
“I've known you my whole life. See, I watched you get drunk and smash my older sister’s head into the front door when you were dating her. I dropped out of high school when you got jealous of my friends because you thought I was sleeping with them. I lied for you every time the neighbors called the cops because of the noise. I know you, very well.”
“You know, now that you mention it, you do look familiar. You look like every smartass bitch I've ever known. All the teachers who thought they were so clever, thought that they could just push around a kid. All the bitches in school who thought they could just lead a guy on, tease him. Those women at the jobs where they just wiggle their tits and their ass to get ahead of some poor son of a bitch who does the real work, who carries his load and hers too. You look like every stupid cunt who thinks the world should bow down and worship her because she was born with a pussy made of solid gold.”
“Nice. You kiss your mother with that mouth?”
“I don't know what happened. You know, we started out so good. How did we end up like this?”
“I guess it was fate.”
“You think?”
“I think...I think…you know what I think?”
“Tell me.”
“I think that you found the perfect job to indulge in your sick fucked up fantasies.”
He slaps you, causing you to fall out of your chair and back up against the wall.
“You're right.” He slaps you again. “I can do anything I want to right now. You know what's funny? That's what you want me to do. You screwed your life up so bad, you'll take any punishment I dish out ‘cause you know you deserve it.”
“Don't touch me again.”
“I'm not finished.”
“You asshole. You have sat there and watched me do everything that I've done and you think that you can hurt me?!” You slap yourself.
“Oh, that's cute.”
You slap yourself again.
“Stop it.”
You slap yourself again and again and again and again and again. “You fucker. You wouldn't have the guts to do what I've done.”
Angry, he slams the camera face down on the table so the people watching can’t see as he grabs the gun off the table and wraps his arm around your neck, holding you in place and cutting off your oxygen. “You think you're some kind of hard bitch now?! Is this what you want, hard bitch?! You want to play?! Let's play.” He presses the gun to your head and pulls the trigger three times, all blanks as the gun clicks.
“What? What?!”
“You…don't…scare me.” You choke out.
He lets you go, slams the gun back on the table, and puts the camera back up. “That round’s a freebie.” He sits back down and combs his hands through his hair. “If you're gonna stay... It's time.”
You pull the chair back up off the floor and sit back down. “Just out of curiosity, later, if I decide to quit, what's gonna stop me?”
“You take that chair. If you try to leave the game, either me or my compatriots will shoot you dead.”
You sit down and scoot your chair up towards the table, getting ready.
~
Final Round
“There are five players in the final round. This will consist of as many turns as necessary to eliminate four players. All players will pull the trigger simultaneously.” He puts the bullet into the chamber and spins it, then places the revolver back on the table. “Wait for my signal. Take the position, please.”
You put the gun to your head.
“We're ready.”
He nods at you.
You pull the trigger. Blank.
“Thought you'd be disappointed.”
He laughs. “No. I'm glad you make it through the first round. I hope you last a long time. I want to see you break. That'll be fun, to watch you break down completely before you die.” He removes the bullet from the chamber and sets the gun aside. “Just waiting on the report. And one player has been eliminated. Down to you and three others. Relax. We'll give them a minute to place their bets. Is it everything you hoped for?”
“This is the easiest thing I've done all day.”
“Maybe so, but there's another asshole out there somewhere who went through everything you went through and now he's just a pile of meat, brain splattered everywhere. See, you think your pain buys you something, that you earn some kinda big cosmic karma where now you’ll get what you deserve. I got news for you, pain is just pain. It doesn't get you anything.”
“You're wrong.”
“We'll see, when it's your brains that are on the floor. Oh. Time for turn two. You know, if you die here...” he puts the bullet in the chamber and spins it. “…nobody will know. We'll just scoop up your body, throw it to an incinerator. It'll be like you never existed. Nobody will know you were ever here.”
“But I'll be dead, so I won't care.” You put the gun to your head and pull the trigger. Blank.
“Bang!” He yells, making you jump and drop the gun on the table as he laughs. “Oh. Oh, another one down. They're dropping like flies. The odds are catching up with you.”
“Yeah?”
“How many times you think you can beat this?”
“29.”
“That's a very specific number.”
“Well, it's as far as I ever got.”
“When?”
“When I practiced.”
“You practiced?”
“Oh, yeah. Bought a real gun, put an empty shell in the chamber, spun it around. It almost never came up, and I did it a lot.”
“What's the lowest number of times you went before it did come up?”
“3.”
“Hm. Well, just so happens we're coming up on turn number three.” He puts the bullet in the chamber and spins it.
“What part do you enjoy the most, watching all the pain, or this?”
“Darling, I like it all. Take your position, please.”
You take the gun from his hand and put it to your head. You pull the trigger. Blank. You slide the gun across the table at him so fast it nearly falls into his lap as he gasps.
“Why don't you take a turn?”
“Because I don't have to play.”
“That's a shame. I bet if you had to play, you'd see things a little differently.”
“Lucky for me, then, that I don't.”
“Lucky for you. So?”
“So, what?”
“What was the outcome of that round?”
“Oh. Nothing.”
“What?”
“No players were eliminated.” He tells you slowly, like you’re an idiot. “It happens, more often than you might think. Something wrong?”
“No.”
“Really? Because you look like every other dumb prick I've seen blow their brains out.”
“You ever see anybody win?”
“Not a one.”
“Then I'm due. See, it's kinda like the lottery, somebody's got to win.”
“Except when they don’t.”
“Every time you spin that cylinder, there are five chances out of six that that bullet won't come up.”
“That's true. Let's see if now is one of those times.” He puts the bullet in the chamber and spins it. “I think I got you on this one. No, seriously, I feel good about this. Go on. Do you feel it? This is it. Am I right? I think I have you. Come on, take the position. Yeah. This is the one. You ready to say goodbye? Say it. Say goodbye. Say it.”
“Fuck you.”
“Pull the fucking trigger.”
You pull the trigger. Blank.
“No players eliminated.”
“You think they're enjoying this as much as you are?”
“Maybe, probably more. You know, you last as long as you say you will, you're gonna make someone a lot of money.”
“And that's why they're doing this?”
“Sure, I told you, gamblers will bet on anything. This is the best game in town.”
“So they're putting money down on me right now?”
“Even as we speak, they're betting against you. Some are betting for you. They're betting to see how many rounds this will go on, whether we'll have a winner or not.”
“Whether what?”
“Sure, maybe one of these times, all the players are eliminated. It's possible.”
“But the odds of that happening...”
“Are 50/50, either it happens or it doesn't.”
“But that's not how odds work.”
“It's time.” He spins the chamber and sets the gun back on the table. “Pick it up.”
You hold the gun to your head and pull the trigger. Blank. You do it again. And again. And again. And again. You hold the gun to your head and pull the trigger 12 times. All blanks. You set the gun down again. The Recruiter takes the bullet out of the chamber and sets the gun off to the side.
“No players were eliminated. You know what I think? I think your child would be better off with no money and you dead than rich with a crazy bitch like you.”
“No.”
“No?”
“They need me. They need to know what love really is. They need to know what it looks like. They need someone to help them understand that they deserves it.”
“And that someone is you? You just figured this out?”
“Yeah, I did.”
“Well, then this wasn't a total waste.”
“Guess not.”
“You know what I'm gonna do after this?”
“Drown a puppy?”
“I think I'll go find your child. That one got you, didn't it?”
“Tell me, how have you made it this far without someone killing you?”
“Just my luck, I guess. Oh. There's been a change of plans. Seems the longevity of the current players has made the people upstairs change the rules around.” He adds a second bullet. “Now what do your odds look like?”
“It's not fair.”
“All the other players have the exact same challenge.”
“No one said...”
“Said what? You didn't practice for this? I'll be sure to tell your kid you said hi.” He puts the two bullets in the chamber and spins it. “Pick it up. Come on. You know the drill.”
You hold the gun to your head and pull the trigger. Blank.
“How many are left?”
“How many what?”
“Players. Someone has to have been eliminated.”
“Oh, yeah, that. One player was eliminated...as far as you know.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, as far as you know, it's just you and one other player.”
“I don't understand.”
“Then let me explain it to you. All that you know about this game is what I've been telling you, right? So, what if I told you I've been making up these last couple of rounds? What if I told you you've already won? Kinda funny if you think about it. What if you're the only one playing the game?”
“That wouldn't work. How would you bet on that?”
“Maybe the bet's not about who wins the game. Maybe you're the bet and it's simply how many times you'll keep pulling that trigger until you lose. Think about it. How would you know?” He suddenly laughs. “I'm kidding, yeah, of course. One of the other players really was eliminated. That leaves you and one more. And it's that time again.”
“So there really is another player?”
“I was just joking. Jeez, you got to learn how to lighten up. If the player could take their position please?”
“There really is another player?”
“Yes,” he says, highly annoyed.
“Prove it.”
“Hold on a sec. Assume the position!” He orders you.
“Prove that there's another player.”
“That's not how this game works. You got to trust me.”
You put the gun to your head.
“Ready.”
After staring at The Recruiter for a long moment, you remove the gun from your head, an idea coming to you.
“Pull. The. Trigger.”
You stare at him.
“Do it!”
You put the gun to your head and pull the trigger. Blank.
“I've been instructed that if you fail to comply again, you forfeit the game.”
You laugh. “Forfeit?”
He pulls up his shirt, showing the other gun tucked in his pants. “Then I'm instructed to shoot you.”
“Your bosses, money is just their excuse for playing. They don't really care about winning. They just want to see blood.”
“Now you're catching on. And they don't care whose it is. Oh. And we're upping the ante again.”
He adds a bullet.
“You forgot to say whether a player was eliminated.”
“Did I? What if I told you there wasn't really a game? What if I told you this whole thing was just made up? What if I told you it's been you and me this whole time?” He asks as he loads the bullets into the chamber.
“You're a liar.”
“Well, I guess we'll find out.” He spins the chamber. “It's time. Position. Please. Mm-hm. You got it.”
You grab the gun but don’t put it to your head. “Let me ask you this. What if there is just one bet? What if it's a 50/50 one?”
“That wouldn't make any sense.” He taps his temple to signal you to sssume the position.
You put the gun to your head. You don’t pull the trigger. “You know what? I think I have already won.” You point the gun at him. “I think the bet now is simply who walks out of this room.”
“That's not how this game is played.”
“You said it yourself, real gamblers will make odds on anything.”
“What if I told you that gun doesn't have any bullets?”
“I watched you.”
“Dummies, blanks. The real bet was to see how long you'd play before you quit.”
“Liar.”
“Okay. Okay, you're right. It wasn't fair, so just put the gun down, and we'll talk about changing the rules.”
“You're gonna change the rules?”
“Sure. Why not?”
“Guys like you don't get to make the rules.” You pull back the hammer and stand up. “Do you know what your mistake was? You thought that the show was all about me, but you forgot that there are two animals in this cage.” You notice him sliding his hand back towards his gun. “You won't get it out before I pull the trigger.”
“If that chamber's empty, I got you.”
“I thought they were blanks.”
“You don't have the guts.”
You shoot. Blank. He flips the table up and makes a run for the door, failing to notice his gun has fallen out of his pocket as you keep shooting at him, firing off three live shots and then nothing but gun clicks. The door slides open to reveal a guard. You grab The Recruiter’s discarded gun off the ground and shoot at the the guards, killing some of them. You then play dead behind the upturned table. They let their guard down and when they get close, you shoot them dead too. The Recruiter comes from behind and tackles you to the ground and tries to strangle you to death. But you manage to get the upper hand.
Even though he could, he’s too proud to beg for your help as he lays on the ground, convulsing, dying. He just stares at you as he chokes on his own blood until he dies with his eyes wide open. A smile still on his face.
You pull his earpiece out of his ear and put it in your own, listening for the person on the other end to say something. And then you hear those two words:
“You win.”
5. What if The Recruiter faked his death like how Oh Il-nam did in season 1? He died with his eyes wide open and none of the other characters checked his pulse. This man is so unhinged and was always five steps ahead of the other characters, always knowing they were watching him and looking for him. He eluded them for two years. He got the jump on them and subdued two men with just his briefcase. So what if he had planned for every possible outcome during the Russian Roulette game too and had piping lined underneath his suit to spurt out fake blood at the right time and the bullet was a dummy or a blank? Squid game men love to fake their deaths. Gi-hun winning the Russian Roulette game and not giving into his mind games throws him into abject shock. That's the second time he loses his smug smile. Gi-hun throwing his words back in his face only makes it worse, to the point he's driven to suicide rather than admit Gi-hun is right. But what if his “suicide” was just a part of a contingency plan so he could lie low for a while and then eventually go back to recruiting players once Gi-hun wasn’t a problem anymore and it was deemed by the people he worked for that it was safe to do so?
After his fake death, he’s left alone in the room when the main characters leave. He gets up from the chair he was playing dead in, cleans himself up by changing his clothes and washing away the blood on his skin, and goes home to you, his wife, as if nothing happened. You’re kept in the dark about what he really does. (Or you’re in on it and help him get the bloodstains out of his clothes, though you work behind the scenes and use your computer and hacking skills to find potential players and learn everything about them. He has to get his information from somewhere, after all. But you don’t go “out into the field” so to speak like he does.) If you don’t know the truth, he explains that he’s been granted extended vacation time from his work and suggests a holiday outside of South Korea. What about Thailand? Or Italy might be nice. Anywhere you want to go, just say the word. He has plenty of money to sustain the both of you during said vacation so don’t worry if you can’t get the time off. You didn’t really like your job anyway, right? Or maybe you’re pregnant so you take advantage of maternity and paternity leave early. Either way, a months or years long holiday would sound heavenly, wouldn’t it? If you do know the truth, you’re prepared the second he gives you a call on your restricted phone and says just a few words. You’ve been prepared for this day for years.
6. A scenario very much like the Korean thriller movie “Addicted”. You’re the long time girlfriend of The Recruiter’s brother (Of course you know The Recruiter’s actual name but for simplicity’s sake, I’ll just call him The Recruiter so authors can choose whatever name they want to give him.) and get married. While he and his brother are very different as people, and the only thing they really have in common is the parents they share, they are very close despite having very different interests and personalities. You wonder if the only reason they get along so well is because of you since you’re the common link between them. The Recruiter decides to take part in a car race for money even though his brother, who is concerned for his safety, asks him not to do that particular race. With a heavy heart, your husband plans on attending the car race to support his brother. Running late, he has to hail a taxi. The speeding taxi crashes into a lorry, and your husband is seriously injured. At the same time as the taxi crashes, The Recruiter’s car overturns in the middle of the race and he is also badly injured. Both The Recruiter and your husband fall into comas.
A year later, The Recruiter wakes up but is unable to walk properly, due in part to his physical injuries. He is brought home by you, where you attempt to take care of him while he recovers. Over time, you realize that The Recruiter is behaving identically to your husband. He tries to convince you that he feels like he is actually his brother, your husband, unable to explain why. He agrees to go for a hypnosis test and his answers so reflect his brother's character, that the doctor concludes your husband’s spirit has entered his brother (The Recruiter’s) body. You’re devastated by this revelation. You, unable to accept The Recruiter as your husband, tell his girlfriend that you are unable to live with him. She offers to take The Recruiter away and he agrees to go with her for your sake. One rainy day, he appears to you just as your husband had before. You discuss memories together and you finally accept The Recruiter as the "possessed" spirit of your husband. The Recruiter and you then share a slow, emotional night together where you have sex after the tearful revelation. You start to live life together as a happy and loving couple. In time, you become pregnant with The Recruiter’s child. Meanwhile, your real husband is still on life support. The doctor suggests to you that there is no chance of your husband waking up and it may be best if he were allowed to die in peace. You agree, and watch with The Recruiter as your husband is taken off life support.
The Recruiter’s girlfriend returns and tells you that she has accepted the fact that her now ex-boyfriend is no longer himself, and that she can no longer love him. She decides to go abroad to study (she may or may not have been blackmailed or bribed by the Recruiter and the people he works for to keep quiet and get lost or else be shot dead and her body burned and never found). The Recruiter, living as your husband, continues life as normal. Recruiting players for the games and keeping you in the dark about what he does or who he really is. You’re not feeling well while you’re out and about with him, so you decide to go home to get some rest and let him stay as what he’s doing is too important for him to just leave with you. While you’re home, a weird looking package addressed to The Recruiter arrives. You open it and find a necklace which had been given to you by The Recruiter. It went missing one day. You thought you just misplaced it.
You read the accompanying note, from The Recruiter’s ex-girlfriend, saying that she cannot understand his crazy love for you and could never ever hope to be you, no matter how hard he tried to mold her into you. Frantic, you dig through The Recruiter’s workroom and find a number of hidden photos of yourself that were taken by The Recruiter. You realize that he had loved you before you married his brother. You also find a notebook that The Recruiter wrote about loving you and being happy because he is able to watch you and live with you through his brother. You cry sorrowfully. You drive back to The Recruiter. You take him aside and ask him various questions about something innocuous like works of art and comment that some pieces may look good in your home and he should consider bidding on them or buying them outright. You continue to pretend that your husband’s spirit is in The Recruiter’s body despite knowing the truth. The Recruiter scatters his brother’s ashes across the sea. He loved you even before his brother, and had for the entire time you were with him. He faked his leg injury so you’d take care of him for a few weeks before he could pretend it was all healed thanks to you. The Recruiter also confesses that he made use of all of his brother's secrets to "transform" himself into him, to the extent of sacrificing his own identity and behavior. He claims that it was he who died after the accident. He tells his brother that you will forever love him under the identity of your dead husband. He apologizes and asks his brother never to forgive him for his deeds.
7. Hear me out: A consensual non-consent/CNC roleplay fic with The Recruiter. While you’re not a loan shark yourself, you’re part of the team Gi-hun hires to help track down The Recruiter due to being an associate of sorts of theirs and being personally recommended to Gi-hun by them. You’re the only woman and the youngest amongst the many men you’ve worked with the past two or three years. Despite your gender and age, you’ve proven to them and to Gi-hun that you’re experienced and have had great success in finding people that don’t want to be found. You’re highly capable and confident that you can do this and you’re not just in it for the one billion won he promised to whoever finds The Recruiter. You’re with Kim Jeong-rae and Choi Woo-seok when they spot The Recruiter at Jonggak Station. The three of you are told to follow him carefully but avoid making contact and do not approach him. You watch him in Tapgol Park when he gives bread and lottery tickets to homeless people, but he doesn’t approach you, Choi, or Kim. Secretly, while Kim and Choi are shocked at The Recruiter’s behavior and think he’s a total nutcase when he stomps on all the bread after making a short speech to everyone, you think he’s so hot when he’s a little disheveled after all his stomping and combs his fingers through his hair, slicking it back and tucking his tie back into his suit blazer.
Despite Gi-hun’s order to not engage, you get the idea to follow The Recruiter down the alleyway and tell Mr. Kim and Mr. Choi that you might lose him if you wait and should just get him by yourselves. Before they can protest or tell you to wait, you’re running ahead, yelling for The Recruiter to stop. They don’t have time to argue and run after you to help you. When they get close, they witness The Recruiter hit you a couple times, so hard that the force of his hits causes you to stumble backwards and fall to the ground. You’re seemingly knocked out cold when your head makes impact with the hard cement. Despite Mr. Choi having a knife, The Recruiter easily subdues the two men with just his briefcase, knocking them unconscious for real. Once he tells you it’s okay to do so, you open your eyes. He grabs your hand and helps you up. You dust yourself off then help The Recruiter drag and carry Kim Jeong-rae and Choi Woo-seok’s bodies inside to finish setting up the room for Russian Roulette. Together, you stand on the roof of a building and watch Gi-hun from above. When he tells you, you take your place in a chair that’s in the middle so you’ll be in perfect view of both men when they wake up and you’ll have The Recruiter standing directly behind you the entire time, his body pressed against the back of your chair and hovering over you. You nearly moan and rub your thighs together while he fastens your wrists to the armchair and pulls the ropes extra tight. As he ties the gag around your mouth, he gives you a warning to behave or else he’ll make use of your mouth later. But all you can think is, “Mmm. Don’t threaten me with a good time, daddy.” You see the lust swimming in his deep brown irises underneath his faux irritation with you. You know that if he could, he’d fuck you right now. But like you, he’s sticking to the plan and is going to wait to start the game until the real players wake up. On command, you let out a few tears to make your acting all the more believable.
Kim Jeong-rae and Choi Woo-seok wake up and The Recruiter puts on opera music and explains the rules of Rock, Paper, Scissors, Minus One, and Russian Roulette, dramatically illustrating the penalty for the loser when he points the gun to his own head and pulls the trigger. But there’s another twist. They may have noticed you’re tied to your chair a little differently than they’re tied to theirs. That’s because, unlike them, you’re not playing. You’ll be an observer of sorts and won’t need the use of your hands. To their horror, The Recruiter then takes a knife or pair of scissors out of his pocket and violently cuts your clothes off your body. When you try to thrash and pull away from him, he slaps you and orders you to sit still unless you want him to cut your pretty skin. He grips your hair to keep you in place as he grazes the knife or scissors against your cheek, not cutting you, but coming very close. You sob harder and squeal in fear as you comply until you’re left in just your underwear, (because he is the only man allowed to look at your cunt) your shredded clothes in pieces around you. You don’t even have your bra or socks anymore. He explains to Mr. Kim and Mr. Choi that, for every time they tie and have to go again, he will touch you however he wants in front of them, seemingly without your consent. The first time they’ll tie, it’ll be for fifteen seconds. Then thirty. Then forty-five, and so on. And they’ll be forced to watch for the duration. He’ll point the gun and pull the trigger at whoever diverts their eyes before the time is up. He has so many fun toys he could use on you in his briefcase.
Your acting really sells it and adds to their fear and disgust. Whenever they tie, you pretend to cringe and sob every time The Recruiter touches you, letting out muffled screams as you beg him not to. He’d do all sorts of things to you, from fondling and squeezing your breasts, to sticking out his tongue and licking a long path on your skin from your wrist to your shoulder to your neck to your cheek before ending in biting your ear. He’d remove your gag for just a second, not giving you time to cry out before he’s tilting your head back to kiss your mouth, violating your lips with his own and the inside of your mouth with his tongue. He’d kiss you so hard that he’d bite down and your lower lip would bleed. After he’s done kissing you, he’d lick up the blood from your bleeding lip and immediately put the gag back in place. He’d drag the gun down between your breasts and to the inside of your underwear, rubbing it against your mound and teasing the possibility of inserting it inside your cunt, only to actually reach his other hand inside your underwear and finger you instead, using toys on you, etc. You’re such a pretty little actress, aren’t you? So good for him.
The exhibitionism, the humiliation, and Mr. Kim and Mr. Choi’s fear of death makes it all the more exciting for you and The Recruiter, especially when Choi and Mr. Kim beg him to stop, for you to be left alone. Though their pleas are just as muffled as yours. The shame and pity in their eyes as they’re forced to watch what they believe to be you being sexually assaulted by a sadistic stranger almost makes you want to laugh. But all games must end eventually. The time comes when The Recruiter puts five bullets into the chamber, increasing the chances of death to 5 in 6. When Mr. Kim refuses to take a hand away and sacrifices himself to spare Choi Woo-seok, The Recruiter shoots him dead. His blood splatters over the space between your breasts but only a little bit of it lands on The Recruiter’s cheek. As he passes by you, he strokes your hair with one hand, running his fingers through it and then letting it go as he bends down and congratulates a traumatized Choi on his win. He looks over his shoulder at your practically naked form, shivering and twitching with the aftershock of everything he did to you with just his tongue, hands, and toys thus far. He hasn’t even given you his cock yet and already you’re like this. He gloats that while Choi won the game, he’s the real winner who received the grand prize - you. He asks if they can have a talk. The Recruiter asks questions on Gi-hun’s location.
After the interrogation, The Recruiter knocks Choi out again and unties you so he can unbuckle his pants and manhandle you however he wants so he can have sex with you properly. Against the wall, on the table, on the floor, on the couch, it doesn’t matter. He’ll take you wherever and however he wants to take you. Rock, Paper, Scissors, Minus One and Russian Roulette was just a warmup. But this…this is even more intense. Even more passionate, primal, painful. When he inserts his fingers and/or cock inside you, it always hurts so damn good. He’s demanding, he’s high maintenance, but you always are able to keep up and know exactly what he wants without him even having to say a word. You read his body language so well. He’s the same way with you. He can tell exactly what you want just from the noises you make. Though he loves to hear you use your words and say it. He can be such a tease sometimes. He loves driving you to the precipice but withholding your orgasm from you until he believes you’ve earned it. He planted you within the Loan Sharks’ circle and tasked you with earning their and Gi-hun’s trust by using the information he fed you so you could pretend to be good at finding people. The ploy worked. Good girls deserve rewards and bad girls earn punishments. And while you’ve been bad at times over the past three or more years you’ve known him and have been punished by him accordingly, you were such a good girl for him in the game, so he’ll reward you by fucking you however you want and then giving you amazing aftercare. He hit you rather hard to make the act believable and your skin might be bruising, but you took it so well. He’ll get out the first aid kit and make you feel better in more ways than one. This plan was as much your idea as it was his. God, you’re so fucking brilliant, a perfect match for him in mind and body. He fucking loves you, even if he’s not the kind of man to say it often.
You change into the outfit he picked out and bought for you, including new lingerie to replace the set he half-destroyed. Could be a nice women’s dress suit similar to his. Something expensive but overall inconspicuous. When he goes to confront Gi-hun and play Russian Roulette again, you’re hidden in an alley nearby, waiting behind the wheel in the getaway car for after he either wins the game or fakes his suicide/death. Whether The Recruiter wins, loses, or Gi-hun breaks the rules and tries to shoot him, it doesn’t matter. You’ve planned ahead for every possible outcome, and they all end with the both of you getting away and lying low for a while, continuing your work for the games from behind the scenes. It’s not long before he opens the passenger door and has you drive, opening his briefcase where he has guns at the ready. He gives you the directions throughout the drive and you’re off. You’re like a professional stunt driver at the wheel, having no issues going high speeds, making smooth and fast turns, and weaving in and out of traffic to evade pursuers if you have to. He needs to keep his hands free in case you’re followed and he needs to lean out the window and shoot at anyone.
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8. Going off of a previous thought I had now that season 2 revealed In-ho had a wife who died young from acute cirrhosis of the liver, and that he took bribes when he was a dirty cop because of her condition: What if In-ho went so far to save you from your illness that it turned into a Nora and Mr. Freeze situation? You were just a happily married couple but then you started feeling unwell. You didn’t think much of it at first, thinking your symptoms were from something else like the flu or food poisoning. It possibly got so bad that you fainted and hit your head on the way down. When he got home from work, your place was filled with smoke but no fire as the smoke alarms went off. Covering his mouth and nose, he was quick to open windows to let the smoke out. He found you unconscious in the kitchen, your hair matted by the pool of blood forming on the floor from your head wound. He’d never been so terrified until that moment. As much as he wanted to rush to you and make sure you weren’t dead, he had to secure the house first. He had to make sure you weren’t attacked and that, if you were, the attacker wasn’t still inside, hiding somewhere. With his gun pointed, he searched every room. All clear and nothing appeared to be stolen or out of place. He didn’t care about the burned dinner you were in the middle of making as he rushed you to the hospital. He was there with you, holding your hand during every doctor appointment, every test. And that was when you got the news. When he has a heart to heart with Gi-hun while undercover as Oh Young-il/Player 001, he tells him the truth. Not the whole truth, but some of it: That you’re very sick with acute cirrhosis and need a liver transplant (or any other disease and treatment of your choosing). But when you were going through the tests, you found out you were pregnant. The doctor suggested a termination, but you wouldn’t listen. You said you’d give birth even if it killed you. You’re stubborn. Your husband has never been able to change your mind about anything. You were struggling to find a donor and your condition was getting worse.
“Breathe. I'm right here. Look at me. Where's the formoterol?” He kneeled down next to you, wrapping his arm around you as you coughed violently (possibly coughing up blood) and struggled to inhale and exhale properly. He found the bottle and gave you the pill, helping you to drink by tipping the glass of water to your lips. The attack gradually subsided.
“That was the worst one yet.”
“That was the last pill. Why didn't you tell me?”
“I'm sorry. I forgot. There's so many. There's so many,” you cried.
“If you have another attack and you don't have this medication, you could die. You can't let this happen again.”
“Why? Does it matter?”
“It matters. I'll be back. I need to get this refilled.”
He went to the pharmacy, leaving you alone in your house.
“Next.”
“I need to get this refilled.”
“Do you have the prescription?”
“I have the bottle.”
“That's not the same thing, is it?”
“Please, I just need it refilled.”
“The original prescription doesn't have a refill order. If it doesn't have a refill order, I can't refill it.”
“This medication is for my wife. She's sick. She's in pain.”
“Everyone that comes in here is sick or in pain. Have your doctor write a new prescription. Then I can refill it.”
“Just give me the medication.”
“No.”
“You son of a bitch!” In-ho lunged at the man, trying to strangle him. He was pulled off and away by two other workers.
“Get out! Get him out of here! Get out of here before I call the cops, you kook!”
Call the cops? He was a fucking cop.
“You shouldn't have done that. I'll be back,” he warned, pointing a finger as he left.
You were admitted to the hospital though you could barely afford it and your husband visited every day until his visits suddenly stopped. You were worried but he never returned your phone calls. For an entire week, you didn’t hear from him. He borrowed as much money as he could, but it still wasn’t enough. He was desperate, then one of his oldest vendors heard about the situation and offered to help. So he borrowed money from them. But people saw it as a bribe and he got fired from his job. He had devoted his entire youth to it. The games were his last hope. He really needed that money even if it was blood money. He needed that money to save you and your child. That all happened in 2015 during the 28th annual squid games.
When he came back after he won a week later, he was all in black, including gloves and a mask that covered his entire face and changed his voice (not his Front Man outfit, but something similar). He was carrying a Heckler & Koch MP5A3 sub-machine gun and his Smith & Wesson Model 19 revolver from back when he was a cop. Though he’d gone against the protocol of leaving one chamber empty and another filled with a blank. He had five live bullets loaded in the chamber and ready to fire as he pointed it at the worker that denied him before.
“Formoterol. Now.” He demanded. Upon entering the pharmacy, he shot the only other worker and person in the building not to kill but to incapacitate him so he couldn’t call for help.
“Okay. Okay. Take it all. Please, don't kill me. Please. I’ll-I'll do anything you want.” The worker begged, holding his hands up. He wasn’t so smug now, was he?
In-ho took all of the medication you needed. “Thank you. You and your friend here...are helping to save my wife.”
He shot both men dead and left.
To make sure nobody would make a missing persons report or come looking for you when he inevitably kidnapped you from the hospital you were staying in and brought you to the island, he faked your death by doing something crazy like impersonating a doctor and drugging you with something that wouldn’t kill you, but make your heart rate so slow that it caused a Code Blue and set off the alarms, making it look like you were flatlining. He even forged legal documents making it look like you consented to a “Do Not Resuscitate” order so that medical staff wouldn’t accidentally kill you by shocking you or break your ribs from performing chest compressions. Once they disabled all the alarms and unhooked you from the IVs and monitors that were attached to your skin and moved you to the morgue, he kidnapped you and replaced your unconscious body with an unclaimed female corpse that was unrecognizable in the face and teeth but looked enough like you to pass by planting stuff on it so his family would false identify it as you after DNA tests matched with you. After whisking you away to the island to get you the treatments you needed to overcome your sickness, whenever you were awake, he smoothly lied to you to leave you oblivious and in the dark about where you really were and what was really going on, taking advantage of your confusion and disorientation and other side effects from your condition to gaslight you.
“In-ho...?”
“I'm here, darling. I brought you home,” he said, holding your hand.
The room you were in didn’t look familiar. It didn’t look like home. It looked more like a luxurious hotel room.
“I'm so tired.”
“I know. It'll all be over soon.”
“In-ho... I want you to let me go. Let me die,” you begged, cupping his face in your hands.
“Honey, you don't mean that. We can do this. A donor has been found. The surgery will work. I'll be there when you wake up. I'll be there.”
“Okay.” You nodded your head and he kissed you.
Just as you were about to be put under, you stopped him and who you assumed to be doctors standing nearby (though they were dressed rather strangely) from injecting you with the sedative or putting the mask with knockout gas over your nose and mouth by grabbing his hand. “In-ho, wait. My necklace. The one that you gave me on our first anniversary. I left it on the nightstand in my hospital room when I had to go in for scans. Did you get it for me? Please, dear, tell me you did.”
He hesitated, unsure if you were just stalling for the sake of stalling or not. He brought it with him. Of course he did. “I got it. I've got it,” he said, pulling it out of his pocket to show you.
“Can you put it on me? Please, honey. I know it’s silly, but it’d make me feel…less afraid.”
He complied with your wish, bending over you to put it around your neck, clasping it into place. You fiddled with it, the familiarity of the metal bringing you comfort under your fingers. Now that he was close enough, you put your other hand on his cheek, rubbing it as you ran your fingers through his hair. “In-ho. I love you. If I don’t make it off the table… Please don't blame yourself.”
“You’ll make it. I’ll see you soon.” He reassured you, giving you one last kiss. “I love you,” was one of the last things you heard. A few minutes later, you were unconscious.
It’d take months, possibly even years to even begin to get you back to where you were, though you’ve shown signs of improvement after undergoing treatment. You were often unconscious from the surgeries and operations during your pregnancy and he’d tell himself he wasn’t gaslighting you out of malice, but out of love. The less you knew, the safer you’d be. He’d go as far to make sure you didn’t find out that he keeps hidden cameras around his quarters and a tracker hidden in either a piece of jewelry he knows you always wear or possibly under your skin even, claiming it was part of your surgeries so you wouldn’t question the stitches or the healing scar. You don’t feel it so you don’t know it’s there. You spent most of your pregnancy on bedrest. He couldn’t drug or sedate you too much because of the risk to the baby’s health, but even when you were awake, he’d do his damnedest to keep you safe, healthy, and comfortable even while lying to you or expertly deflecting your questions. Where’s your cell phone? Deflect. Why can’t this Apple computer in his office connect to the internet? Deflect. When can you go home? Deflect. Where are you? Deflect. Even though the circumstances of your new living situation were unclear and left you unsettled, you were excited to give birth despite the somewhat shady doctors your husband brought to care for you. If he ever detected you trying to leave his quarters, an alarm beeped just loud enough for him to hear it, signaling to him to put his quarters on complete lockdown with a push of a button so you couldn’t wander off and he’d rush to check on you. He’d either sedate you again if he absolutely had to out of fear your lashing out at him would be a danger to yourself or the baby, or he’d otherwise distract or dissuade you from asking too many questions or wandering too far. If you asked questions, he’d tell you to think of it as a dream, that it isn’t a bad dream for you anyway since you’ll have your baby soon. When the time came for you to give birth, your husband was there with doctors that were hired for their discretion (or he’d just kill them afterwards) and you gave birth to a healthy baby and survived, though the birth was difficult and took a great toll on your body. That was in 2015 or 2016.
You thought you’d be able to go home eventually, but in reality, you’re still practically a prisoner on an unknown island. During the first couple years, you took care of your baby while your husband oversaw vulnerable people being driven to kill others or themselves out of desperation for blood money for the entertainment of bored rich people in sadistic death games. Whenever it was lights out for the players, he came back and gave you your much needed break, taking his turn to care for your baby while you rested. You’re not sure why you’re still here as you’re feeling much better, but your husband and doctors keep saying your condition isn’t stable yet, you’re not in the clear, a few more tests and treatments. It’s always something. He won’t let you leave. You can’t leave this place without his permission.
And even worse, when your child reached a certain age, maybe around three or four (old enough to walk and talk), he took them away from you, sent them to be raised and cared for by people he knew he could trust until the time was right for you to take them back. He couldn’t let your child grow up in this place and become old enough to have awareness of their surroundings or start asking questions. When children reach a certain age, they get curious. Too curious. He couldn’t risk that. And this is no place for a child anyway. They need proper socialization and a healthy environment to grow and learn. When you found out what he’d done, you yelled at him, screamed at him, hit him repeatedly. He took it all. Then you ignored him, gave him the silent treatment. He took that too. He’d understand if you never forgive him but he needs you to understand that he does all of this because he loves and cares about you and your child - his family - more than he does a bunch of strangers. He’ll kill however many he needs to if it means you both get to live. And that’s why when Thanos is talking shit while he’s undercover in the games, telling him to stop running his mouth and take care of his own damn kids, to save the lecture for his own children, he snaps and beats the shit out of him, nearly choking him to death in the middle of the dorms. But, unbeknownst to him, after your child was taken away from you, you became more proactive in discovering the truth and getting off this damn island. You weren’t just gonna lie down and blindly love and trust your husband anymore. You can play dual roles and keep secrets as well as he can. You know your husband would never kill you. He’s done everything to save you. And even if he does kill you for going behind his back, you’re not afraid of dying. Your resolve is strong, unwavering. You’ll either get off this damn island and get your child back or die trying, with or without your husband. It’ll be up to him what he wants to do, if he comes with you or not. You just have to bide your time and play your cards right.
9. You’re a player and while In-ho is undercover as player 001/Oh Young-il, you and he form some kind of connection and stick together during the games. You likely have a considerate age gap between you. He’s probably at least fifteen years older than you but despite that, you’re hot for each other. You have been ever since surviving the six legged relay race. You’re so thankful he and his team took pity on you and let you join and bonded with him in the dorms afterwards. He sticks by you during the Mingle game and saves your life by grabbing your wrist and running with you, keeping you close for every round so you’re always in a room with him, no matter how many people are needed. On the last round, he kills a man in ten seconds before your very eyes after he refuses to leave. After the game, he comes to you during lights out and asks if you want to go with him somewhere away from everybody else to have some “much needed alone time together”. You know, despite his use of euphemism or polite language, that he’s inviting you to have sex to blow off some steam and come down from the high that the combined stress of playing the latest game and left over adrenaline gave you.
You follow his lead when he knocks on the door and asks a guard to use the bathroom. Together you ditch the guard (unbeknownst to you, he used his authority as the Front Man and subtly signaled the guard to go away.) and he takes you back to the room where the Mingle game was played, now spotless from clean up. No blood or bodies anywhere. The lights are mostly off and the few that are on are low, making the lighting in the room look dark purple, almost black, with hints of red. He tells you to pick any door of your choosing. You pick a door that’s your favorite color and he grabs you by the hand or lifts you up to carry you bridal style or over his shoulder into the room, closing the door behind you. You barely pay attention to the sound of the lock clicking into place as In-ho/Young-il is instantly on you, his hands and mouth all over your body, touching and feeling everywhere he can before you even begin to take your clothes off. That comes soon enough as, finally alone, you have sex on the floor in the colored room, the light above reflecting off the painted walls and creating makeshift “mood lighting” as you meet his hot kisses and touches with equal fervor. The potential danger of being caught by the pink guards only further turns you on. Unbeknownst to you, there’s no danger at all since you’re having sex with the Front Man and Host of the games. You’d hate to admit it, but you thought he was so sexy when he was strangling that man to death. It almost turned you on when he didn’t break eye contact with you and you heard the player’s neck snap. While he’s thrusting in and out of you, you beg him to choke you. He asks if you’re sure, and you confirm your consent. He tells you to tap his shoulder or scratch down his back three times if you want him to let go. While he fucks you, he chokes you so hard that your vision begins to blur and you see stars as you struggle to breathe. He doesn’t apply enough pressure to kill you or knock you out, but it’s enough to make your orgasm that much sweeter of a high.
10. While In-ho is undercover as player 001/Oh Young-il, he becomes obsessed with you because you’re visibly pregnant and/or have a resemblance to his deceased wife somehow. Even if it’s just one thing like your smile, eyes, or personality. After his wife got sick and both she and their unborn child died, he was devastated at the loss of his family, believing he went through the games and won, but it was all for nothing as he got out only to find his family was already dead. He felt guilty for not spending time with his wife in the hospital and being there for her before she died. (“I should go and be with my wife at the hospital,” he said to Gi-hun.) He never really forgave himself for just abandoning her without a word. And with nothing to go back to in the outside world - no wife, no child, no job - he dedicated himself to the games as the Front Man. That’s why he snapped and beat the shit out of Thanos and nearly choked him to death after his insensitive comments about “save the lecture for your own damn kids”. He thought he lost his beloved wife and his baby forever, but seeing you makes him believe he can have both a wife and a child again.
He becomes immensely protective of you, so much so that it’s unnerving to the other players at times, possibly even you, but nobody would dare to say a thing to his face. He’s one of the most formidable players in the game. He kills several players in the games personally while telling you sweet and caring things when you’re given moments of respite during the games and when you’re back in the dorms after the games are over.
“When you get out of here, go see a doctor right away. You’ve been under a lot of stress. You need to get yourself checked out.”
He gives you his milk or shares his food with you, insisting on you taking it since you’re eating for two and need it more than he does. He lets you use his pillow or blanket during lights out. He’s always asking if you’re all right and cracking jokes to keep the mood light and make you smile despite the circumstances. He keeps you stuck to him during every game like velcro. During the six-legged race? Your arm is interlocked with his. During the Mingle game? He’s holding onto your arm or wrist so tightly when you run to gather enough players and get to a colored door in time that there’s no chance of other frantic players pushing you to the ground or separating you from him. When you need to go to the bathroom outside of hours and sneak out of bed, he’s awake and asks what you’re doing. When you sheepishly admit you need the bathroom, he’s there with you at the door demanding for you to be let out if the guards tell you no at first. Despite being a man, he’s in the women’s bathroom with you. You’re the only two people awake and using the bathroom, so who cares if he’s a man in the women’s bathroom? The guards definitely don’t care. (Because he’s their boss, but you don’t know that.) He’s leaning against the stall directly across from the one you go into or the sink and keeps you company, asking if you’re sick and if you need him to hold your hair back for you if you’re feeling nauseous when he notices you’ve been in there for a long time. If he hears you crying, he’s knocking on the stall before opening it and kneeling in front of you, immediately fretting over you, asking if it’s the baby and if you’re in any pain, are you in labor, is the baby coming? Then he’s holding you and comforting you when you admit you’re afraid. Same for if you have an emotional breakdown over not being allowed to go home after the vote doesn’t go the way you want it to. He’s there to hold you, stroke your hair and stomach (with your permission of course) and tell you you’re going to make it out of this and both you and your baby will be fine. You swear sometimes you hear him say “our” baby, or that he’s calling you pet names like darling, honey, and sweetheart, but he gaslights you and tells you that you must’ve misheard him whenever you call it out and ask him about it.
When he goes with the men to find the control room, you stay behind. While you’re not sure if you love him, you have grown to care for him and see him as a dear friend at least and are worried for him. After the game is over and he goes back to being the Front Man, the pink guards storm into the dorms, firing off two warning shots and ordering everyone to get down on the floor. The sight of the pink guards rushing forwards with their guns pointed and no sign of Young-il or any of the other players makes you fear for the worst. Curled up on your side on the floor, you panic when your water breaks at the exact moment you believe Young-il is dead. Other players might think you’ve peed your pants from fear, but you can feel the contractions already starting. Unbeknownst to you, the Front Man sees your water break on the cameras from the control room, the small puddle staining your sweatpants wet and forming on the floor under you as the women nearby try to comfort you. He orders some of the guards in the control room to escort you out of the dorm room and to his private quarters while the other pink guards are busy defusing the situation. He emphasizes to them to be gentle with you, meaning don’t walk too fast, make sure you don’t fall, and keep their guns pointed away from you at all times. You’re terrified when three or four pink guards approach you and two of them slowly lift you up by your arms and force you to follow them out of the dorms the second you get back on your feet. You’re the only player singled out and escorted away from the others. Your friends are yelling your name, asking the guards where they’re taking you, but they receive no answer. Once you’re in the hallways of many colorful stairs, they blindfold you so you can’t know where you’re going, making you more scared. Your arm is held the whole way to wherever it is you’re going. They don’t tell you anything or answer your questions. They only tell you when there are steps in front of you so you don’t trip and fall on them. But you think they’re holding onto you so you can’t run. You think for sure you’re going to be killed and your baby will be cut out of your dead body and sold to a black market along with your organs or something.
But when the blindfold is removed, you find yourself lying down on a plush bed in a very nice, almost luxurious room with the Front Man and who you think is a doctor of sorts. The Front Man orders the doctor to help you by giving you everything you need for a safe and healthy delivery. But while you’re given a clean and plain men’s t-shirt so you can change out of your ruined track suit, you’re unnerved that the Front Man won’t leave. He’s considerate enough to turn his back or let you change in his bathroom and doesn’t turn back around until you’re back in his bed with your lower half covered with the blankets and the men’s shirt, which is so big and long on you it’s like a nightgown almost. He stands either on your left or right side near your head so he can’t see between your legs. While a part of you is relieved you have that semblance of privacy, he just stands there, watching over you. And you can’t read his face since it’s covered by his black mask. And you can’t tell much emotion from his voice either. It unnerves you.
But the terror becomes confusion when he eventually asks if you need to hold his hand after watching you struggle through a few contractions despite the epidural you were given. What? He repeats the question. When you shakily say yes, he removes his black leather gloves to hold your hand in both of his, letting you squeeze as tightly as you can when the contractions are at their worst. Your strength is nothing compared to his so he barely feels it. His skin is so warm. This bed is warm too. Much warmer than the cot you were sleeping in. You hate to admit that it feels nice. He puts on some jazz music to help you relax. He tells you not to think and to just focus on the music, breathe, and push whenever the doctor tells you to. After who knows how many hours, you give one last push and hear a baby crying. Your baby. After the doctor cleans them up and does what needs to be done for aftercare for you including any stitches or disposing of the placenta, etc., the Front Man orders him to leave. Your baby is wrapped in a soft towel or sheet as a makeshift blanket and resting on your chest. For a moment, you’re too in awe of them to care about the Front Man or what’s happening around you.
But then you hear a soft click as he takes his mask off and reveals himself not as player 001, Oh Young-il - but Hwang In-ho, Captain and Host of the squid games following his predecessor’s death and, even more alarming, your husband and the father of your child. You can’t believe it. He joined Gi-hun's assault on the staff, dispatching several guards personally. He killed two players to effectively fake his death to resume his place amongst the staff. When you’re horrified and exclaim that all those players who went with him are dead because of him, he is quick to correct you that no, they’re all dead because of Gi-hun. Even worse for you, if the real father of your child is still alive, whether or not you have a relationship with him, he won’t be alive for much longer. Even if he’s in the outside world and not a part of the games, In-ho will still find a way to kill him discreetly and dispose of the body so he can have you and your child for himself. He effectively kidnaps you and keeps you and your baby captive in his quarters because he’s all kinds of fucked up after his wife and unborn child’s deaths. You thought the games made him so relentless, that the games changed him. What you don’t know is that this relentless drive to get what he wants was apparent even before becoming the Front Man, as there were many self-help books on achieving one's desires in his old apartment.
OR
If you’re not already pregnant when he meets you, he’d be determined to impregnate you and would go out of his way to seduce you through emotional and mental manipulation or bribes during downtime between the games. Even worse for you if it works and you sleep with him in a moment of clouded judgment due to your hormones and/or fragile mental and emotional state from the high stress of your near death experiences. Either in your bunk, a bathroom stall, the stairs, or inside one of the colored doors from the Mingle game. Whether or not you’re already pregnant, once you have sex with him, your fate is pretty much sealed. He’d be even more protective and possessive of you, as your consenting to have sex with him would affirm for him the delusion that you love him back and accept him as your husband and father of your child, whether or not he actually is the child’s father biologically.
Either way, it’d be like a Basement Wife trope but he keeps going back and forth between sweet and doting and cold and ruthless personalities so it’s like you’re dealing with a Jekyll and Hyde type situation while prisoner. He’d never hurt you, especially not while you’re in such a fragile condition. He doesn’t want to chain you to the bed or sedate you as it can’t be good for you or the baby, but he will if you persist in misbehaving and lashing out. Stress isn’t good for you or the baby. He has no fear about you harming him, he can easily overpower you without hurting you, but he won’t let you harm yourself or your baby in any way. He might strap a monitor on your wrist that you can’t take off because it has a very special lock only he has the key to. Kind of like a house arrest ankle monitor. But this monitor allows him to monitor your health, whereabouts, and call you if he’s away for any reason - like an Apple Watch. Either that or he’d implant a tracking chip under your skin somewhere on your body while you’re passed out from being sedated. If you wake up, he knows. If you get out of bed to get a glass of water, use the bathroom, take a shower, or otherwise move around his quarters, he knows. If you so much as get a goddamn paper cut from reading a book, he knows. He won’t let anything happen to you or your child. You should’ve known something was wrong with him when he strangled a man to death and broke his neck in front of you during the Mingle game just so you and he could be the only two people in the room needed to pass. He looked at you and you saw no remorse or horror in his eyes. Only pride at protecting you.
11. You’re pregnant during the games and go into labor at an inopportune moment, possibly during the games or during the “special game” of the lights out free for all when everybody was murdering each other. If it’s the special game, he’d hide under the bed on the bottom level with you and his “friends”, his arms wrapped around you and his body almost on top of yours like a human shield. His hand would clamp over your mouth to keep you quiet if you cried out from seeing a player get murdered right in front of your eyes. You’d cry out again and that’s when you’d both feel wetness coming from your sweatpants and you both know it’s not pee. However it happens, In-ho/Young-il is so fiercely protective of you, having a soft spot for you ever since you revealed you were pregnant when you approached him and his team for the six-legged race and since then giving you special treatment that you thought was just him being nice, like giving you extra food and milk or letting you use his pillow and blanket so you’d be more comfortable during lights out.
When pink guards burst in and the players enact their plan to steal the guards’ guns and infiltrate the control room to capture the Front Man, In-ho makes sure you stay down and out of the rain of fire as he shoots many pink guards dead. When enough guards are dead and the others have retreated, he gets ready to head out with Gi-hun and his team. He waits until everyone else in line is ahead of him before he helps you up and takes you out of the room with him, telling you that you can’t stay in the dorms and he knows a place where you’ll be safe to deliver your baby. While the others are being led by the pink guard they took hostage and aren’t looking at him and you at the very back of the line, he takes you down a different hallway. You’re confused as it appears to be a dead end. He looks up towards a camera and nods. You don’t have time to react or understand what’s happening when the wall behind you opens up and a couple of pink guards blindfold you and grab hold of you from behind, pulling you away as you scream Young-il’s name for help. The others are too far away and can’t hear you over the sounds of their own yelling and all the gunfire. The last thing you hear is gunfire and Young-il’s voice telling you to trust him and that you’re going to be fine before the wall slides shut again, cutting you off from him and everyone else. You have no choice but to go wherever the guards are leading you and hope you and your baby will be okay along with Young-il. That’s why when after In-ho shoots players 047 and 015 in the back, he tells the control room to start wrapping things up. The sooner Gi-hun’s failed attempt at playing the hero ends, the sooner he can drop the facade of being Young-il and be at your side while you give birth in his private quarters.
OR
In-ho arranges for you to be exempt from the game so you can be taken away and brought to a medical bay or his personal quarters quietly without the other players putting up too much of a fuss since you can’t compete while in labor. It wouldn’t be fair and the games are all about fairness, or so he likes to preach. (Just like how he exempted Mi-nyeo from the marbles game when nobody wanted to pair up with her.) Could be part of my previous ideas of you being pregnant or could be its own separate thing.
12. You’re his wife and you’re very sick with acute cirrhosis and need a liver transplant. (Or any other disease and treatment of your choosing.) But when you’re going through the tests, you find out you’re pregnant.
"What-what are you saying?" In-ho gasps out as panic and wishful thinking begin to battle in his mind.
You brush your hand against his and smile with teary eyes. "The doctor is saying I'm pregnant, In-ho. We're going to have a baby."
You’re happy about this. He can’t believe it. Under different circumstances, sure. He could understand you being happy then. But now? With you so sick? Being pregnant now is far too dangerous. Even the doctor suggests a termination, but you won’t listen. You tell your husband you’ll give birth even if it kills you. You’re stubborn. Your husband has never been able to change your mind about anything. But in the following weeks, you’re struggling to find a donor and your condition is getting worse. He borrows as much money as he can, but it still isn’t enough. Then one of his oldest vendors hears about the situation and offers to help. So he borrows money from them. But people see it as a bribe and he gets fired from his job. He had devoted his entire youth to it. He’s desperate. Desperate enough to do something terrible. An irrevocable betrayal.
The first scare is...relatively simple, in retrospect. That night, In-ho comes home to you, perfect and lovely, preparing a meal meant to be shared. He doesn’t have much time to stay before he has to leave for “work” once more, but just seeing you in your shared dingy little kitchen creating something with him in mind makes his heart skip a beat in his chest. It’s a wonderfully simple moment the two of you spend together, holding hands like lovestruck teenagers across the table while you eat. As he’s preparing to depart, you sit by the window and sip at a glass of your favorite non-alcoholic beverage, illuminated by the lights of the city. In-ho is certain he's never seen you more beautiful. You take another sip of your drink before a strange expression crosses your features. It’s mostly an unreadable expression, but there’s the undercurrent of something...sad. It’s something In-ho has never really seen before, and it makes the first tendrils of anxiety curl in his stomach.
"Darling? Is something wrong?" he asks, walking over to where you sit.
"No, no, not at all," you assure him. When you look up at him, the twinge of sadness is already gone. "I just had...a strange thought, that's all. I'm being silly." You reach over and place your hand on his cheek. He can’t help but nuzzle into the simple touch and press a kiss to your soft palm. "Go," you say comfortingly. "Work hard, do good."
In-ho manages a smile and places his hand over yours for a lingering moment before pulling away. "I’ll see you soon, my love."
The two of you share a smile before he turns to go. He’s halfway to the door when he hears your voice again. And what you say makes his blood run cold. To you, it’s something so innocent, so innocuous. But In-ho almost drops what he’s holding. Just from that one sentence, he can tell you’re worsening. He scrambles to remember when your last injection was, and his mind is already cataloguing the work he will need to do to prepare your next one. He curses himself internally for letting it go so long, for putting you in this position. You need your medicine and he’s going to get it for you.
In-ho almost forgets about that incident by the time something else happens.
You place his hand over your stomach, encouraging him to splay his fingers out as if you’re expecting something to happen from his touch. "Do you feel anything? Anything out of the ordinary?"
"Not at all." He tilts his head at you with confusion and a hint of worry. "Why? Are you feeling all right, is everything okay, darling?"
"No, In-ho, everything is fine!" You still hold his hand over your stomach, gently stroking over the skin on the back of it with your thumb to reassure him. "I feel great. You...didn't notice anything?"
He shakes his head, brows furrowed but relishing in the feel of your soft skin.
"Oh," you say with an edge of...disappointment? "I guess it must be too early, then. I thought I felt movement. Must’ve been phantom kicks.” The smile on your features steadily grows nevertheless.
His throat tightens and he feels the beginnings of hot tears prick behind his eyes, so he has to look away from you. All he can hear is the blood rushing through his ears, your words falling away somewhere behind him. Imagining you pregnant was one thing. It gave him a private thrill, the idea of having a family. With you. It was a beautiful fantasy he kept close to his heart, but he knows now that you’re getting further along, that you won’t survive childbirth even if you do manage to carry to term. In the forefront of his mind, he knows that his fantasies of having a child with you has to remain exactly that. Fantasies. At least until your disease is cured or, if it can’t be, then at the very least, he can get you treatment to pull you out of danger and make you healthy again. At a different time, perhaps, your pregnancy would be a joyous moment. How exuberant he would be were things different, to prepare to bring new life into the world. How beautiful you would look, growing with his child, your body undergoing glorious metamorphosis. His child.
But that is not the reality he can live in while you’re still sick. You’re in danger, a danger he helped perpetuate. The thought makes In-ho shudder almost violently. There is no way to guarantee your survival if you go through with this pregnancy, or even the child's survival if you do bring him or her into this world. The thought of you suffering hours of labor, of dying…only for your baby to die after a few feeble hours of breathing in the NICU… That shakes him down to his core, makes him sick to his stomach. It would be better, merciful even, to not introduce a child to this world at this time. It breaks In-ho’s heart to realize, but worse, he’ll have to break yours, too. He can’t just tell you why there’s so much danger in this joy. He tried that when the doctors first gave you the news and advised you to terminate. You wouldn’t listen to him then and it resulted in an argument that he worried would only add too much stress onto you. He pretended to acquiesce to you, telling you that you’re right and together you’ll find a way, you will. There's always hope. As long as you're alive, there's hope, right? And you told him yes. There's hope. And that was the end of the argument. If he brings it up again, what will you think? You definitely won’t change your mind now. Talking to you will get him nowhere. He knows that. He has to do what he has to do.
It isn’t hard to get the pill. It’s a simple thing, a beige color, unassuming overall. Yet, it seems to have the weight of a brick in In-ho’s coat pocket. Since your pregnancy reveal, you had managed to find books on prenatal care and baby names and were going through them religiously. It’s...painful for In-ho to reconcile your eagerness, your pure unadulterated excitement, with what he’s about to do. It’s necessary, he knows that, and he hopes you will understand that. Eventually. He trudges into the house and sure enough, there you are sitting at the kitchen table, flipping through the pages of one of your new baby name books with a highlighter. When you hear the door close, you smile up at In-ho and go to stand to greet him.
"Stay seated, darling, it's fine," he assures you, walking over and kissing your temple.
You giggle at him. "In-ho, I'm only three months along at most, I won't overexert myself by getting up to welcome my wonderful husband home."
"I know, I know." He plants another kiss on your forehead before he walks into the kitchen. "Hungry, my love?"
"I can make dinner, you've been working so hard lately. All that overtime at the precinct."
"Just tonight, honey. Let me do this for you. For...both of you."
Maybe it’s an underhanded manipulation tactic, but it works. You smile with a dreamy look in your eyes, turning back to your book.
In-ho isn’t much of a cook, but he grabbed a few fresh fruits and vegetables the last time he went out for groceries, purposefully so. With a blender he hasn't touched in years, he’s able to whip up a basic green smoothie. He hesitates when he reaches for the pill in his pocket. In that moment, he hears something from behind him: you begin humming to yourself. When he listens closer, he realizes the song is an easily recognizable lullaby. Nausea swirls in his gut and he has to fight the urge to look back at you. If he looks, he won’t be able to go through with it. He crushes the pill into powder and sprinkles it into the mixture, stirring it with a spoon before he can think about it anymore. It’s blended so much that you won’t feel or taste it at all. You won’t notice. When it’s finished, In-ho pushes a glass towards you and is greeted with a curious smile.
"Trying to keep me strong and healthy for the baby?" you tease. You smile warmly. "Thank you, honey. It looks great." You reach out and start to drink without hesitation.
It’s over. In-ho feels like he can breathe again, at least for the moment.
It doesn’t last long.
In-ho goes away to “work”, hoping you’ll be asleep while the pill works. He’s ready to be there for you once he returns, to be with you in any grief you feel.
The house is eerily silent and dark when he returns. In-ho climbs the stairs, eager to slip into bed with you for just a few moments of fitful rest. Just some time to be with you, before he has to face your hurt. The bedroom is empty when he walks in. The bedsheets on your side are haphazardly tossed aside, and you’re nowhere to be seen. He walks over and flips on the nightstand light, and notices out of the corner of his eye a discoloration in the sheets. A large stain rests in the middle of the bed, right where you would be lying, and when In-ho touches it, the tips of his fingers come back red. That’s when he notices the door to the master bathroom is closed, and a bit of light shines from underneath. If he focuses on the silence of the room, he can hear...something, from the other side. He makes his way over, slowly, a death march to the door. He reaches up to knock, but stops when he hears the faint sound again. Tiny gasps, hiccups. Sniffling. Muffled sobs. His heart shatters all over again.
"Darling?" He eventually calls, giving the door a strong but soft knock. "Darling, I'm coming in."
"In-ho?" You gasp out, your voice heavy with tears. "In-ho, no, please, don't-" you dissolve into more pronounced sobs, and In-ho hears something clatter to the floor.
"My love, please let me-"
"I said no!"
He freezes. He has never once heard you like this, the agonized sharpness turned to venom in your words. Not even when you were arguing with him in the doctor’s office over whether to terminate your pregnancy or not. He doesn’t try to knock or speak again, but he cannot bring his feet to drag his body from the door. He ends up sitting with his back against the door, listening to you cry. Alone. He doesn’t get any rest that night. Eventually, In-ho has to regretfully rise. Shady characters are in need of him once again and, in exchange, they’ll give him money he so desperately needs. It’s through such shady characters he was able to procure the medications that you needed so far. How he was able to get the pill to terminate your pregnancy. As he gathers his coat to go, he hears the door creak open, and turns to look at you. It’s like seeing a ghost. You’re pale, eyes red and ringed with dark circles, and even the way you hold yourself is as if you’re being dragged down to the earth. There’s a moment where the two of you simply exist in the same space. In-ho watches your features for even the most minuscule change, and it feels like hours pass as he waits. Eventually, you sigh in an attempt to speak, but your voice shakes with even the simple release of breath. In-ho takes a single step forward and waits again. This time, you meet him halfway, but keep your eyes firmly down and away from his own. Is it shame that motivates you to divert your gaze? The shame that rightfully only he should be feeling? The shame that is, in fact, burning in his core as he observes how much grief is weighing you down? You make an attempt to speak again, but just shake your head. You press your eyes closed to keep from outright sobbing but still stray tears escape. In-ho reaches up and brushes them away, letting his knuckles brush against your cheeks. The contact of his skin against yours shatters the tension and you walk forward into his arms, burying your face against his chest. He holds you close, knowing he’s wholly undeserving of the beautiful creature that is his wife seeking his arms for comfort. He allows himself a single tear that falls into your hair, not any more than that. How dare he compare his grief to yours, how dare he try and appropriate your sorrow? He can almost hear your voice in his head: How dare you? How dare you? Somehow, the embrace ends and he’s helping you into bed after stripping the bloodied sheets and putting on fresh ones. He pulls the blankets around your unmoving form, tucking you in and making sure you’re warm enough.
"I have to go," he whispers regretfully, not even sure if you’ll respond.
And you don’t. You don’t even look at him but, before he leaves, he kisses your lips and your hairline then steals a glance back at you. Your eyes fall closed, and silent tears are streaming down your cheeks as you cry yourself back to sleep.
But it doesn’t end there. You’re hospitalized shortly after and he’s driven to compete in the squid games after being recruited. The games are his last hope. He really needs that money even if it’s blood money. He needs that money to save you since he couldn’t save both you and your child. He could only save one. He wants to return home to you so he can get you the operation and medication you need to ensure you could one day have a healthy and safe pregnancy. He knows you still want a child despite the traumatic loss you suffered. You’ll never know what he did. After he won, you’re still in the hospital, waiting for him. As part of his reward for winning, a donor is found for you on top of the cash prize of 45.6 billion won. But he can’t go back to his old life after all the bridges that have been burned behind him. But he wants - no, needs to keep you. If there’s anyone or anything from his old life he will never let go of, it’s you. Bound by his duties as the Front Man for the games and his marriage vows to you, he has no other choice but to go undercover as a doctor and create a diversion to kidnap you from the hospital so he can whisk you away to an unknown and private island where you can receive the best medical attention for your condition. Somehow, police have already been notified of his activity and what he plans to do.
“He’s in the building, posing as a doctor. He’s armed and has already killed five people. Evacuation is underway. We have to go,” an attending physician says.
“No. An evacuation is exactly what he wants. The staff bailed when the alarms went off. This is a deliberate diversion to get everybody out and away from her. He’s here for her. We can't leave her alone in her room. She’ll die if we leave her alone here or if he takes her,” your personal doctor insists.
“So we take her with us. Come on. Careful.”
“Thank you,” you say weakly as your doctor helps you out of bed and into a wheelchair.
You don’t get very far when you’re stopped by your husband standing in the doorway to the ward you’re kept in, dressed in black scrubs, black gloves, and a medical face mask, just like the police said he’d be. He’s holding a Heckler & Koch MP5A3 sub-machine gun that’s strapped over his shoulder and across his body. “Ah... I'll take it from here.”
“In-ho… In-ho, listen to me. We're trying to help her.”
“You're killing her.”
“No. No, In-ho.”
“In-ho...” you rasp, your voice and body incredibly weak from your disease. Your eyes water when you look at him. Despite his black attire, you can still see the blood on him and you know it’s not his. You’re terrified.
“I understand why you're doing this,” your doctor tries to sympathize.
“I'm saving her life.”
“At the cost of how many other lives?”
“Too many to turn back now. As soon as I've done what I need to do, I'll give myself up. But now we have to leave.”
“In-ho, listen to me. I'm her doctor. I know her history. I’ve known her her entire adult life. If we move her now, she might die.”
“Her doctor. Good. You're coming with us to push the wheelchair. Let's go.”
“No. No way!” The attending physician tries to stop this from happening.
“I'm going. She's my patient,” your doctor insists.
“I can't let you do that. I'll go.”
“It's not your call. She needs me.”
“I'm not gonna hurt her. I don't want to hurt anyone, unless I have to.” Your husband insists.
“I'm going.”
“In-ho, please...don't do this. Please, she’s pregnant.” Pregnant just like I was, you want to say, but you don’t have the strength. Your voice shakes like a rattle as you struggle to breathe while you beg for him to not do this, to leave your doctor out of it, trying to get through to him, to get him to see reason.
“Honey, don't worry. It's all under control.”
“Help...” you beg, your body already feeling worse.
“We have to go. Now.”
You sob when you hear bullets go off, your husband having shot dead the attending physician left behind. He can’t afford to leave any extra witnesses.
“In-ho, please think about this. How will you take care of her if you're in prison?” Your doctor asks as she follows behind him and pushes your wheelchair.
“I won't. You will. The city will. It's the law. As long as she's legally alive, she's a ward of the city and the city has to keep her alive and safe.”
“So I shall undergo countless operations and spend days or weeks in medically-induced comas only to wake up one day with you in prison or dead? A life alone isn't one that I want. There must be another way. Please, In-ho,” you beg him again to reconsider, but he doesn’t listen.
Holding your doctor at gunpoint in her car, he gives her directions and orders her to drive exactly where he tells her to go. You reach docks where a speedboat is waiting for you with masked and armed guards on board. He orders your doctor out of the car and to board the boat at gunpoint, then carefully lifts you into his arms bridal style and carries you onto the boat himself. You’re unconscious for most of the voyage, unable to bear the stress of the situation anymore, though it doesn’t take too long to get to your destination. Against your will, you’re taken to the island. You’re given the surgeries you need, the treatments and medications you need, etc. but despite the success of your operations and treatments, recovery still takes months. Most of it is spent on bedrest and In-ho is still hovering over you whenever he returns to your shared personal quarters, asking both you and your doctor how you’re faring, if you’re eating well and sleeping well, etc. as he comes to your bedside and rests his hand on your head to pet your hair and rub your cheek. You feel guilty that your doctor has been held captive alongside you all these months, kept by your side to attend your every need whenever In-ho is called away and can’t do it himself. You’re terrified of what might happen to her if you were to suddenly take a turn for the worst. It’s not rational, but you have a horrible sinking feeling in your gut that if anything involving you were to go wrong, In-ho would blame her, even if it’s something out of her control. And that he’d kill her if you were to die under her watch.
One day, when you’re alone, you confess to your doctor that she may be able to escape.
“I heard In-ho talking when he thought I was asleep. There’s speedboats and oxygen tanks docked on the coast of the island not far from here. If you hurry, you can take one and make it out before he gets back,” you plead to her.
“I'm not leaving you,” she insists, holding your hand to comfort you.
“This must be very stressful for you and your baby. And you’re almost due.”
“We're fine.”
“Could I have some water?” You ask instead, and she walks away to grab a glass and fill it with water from the sink. She hands it to you. “Thank you. You’ve heard him all these months. He's not a bad man at heart. You’ll get out of here alive, I promise. I’ll talk to In-ho. I’ll do everything in my power to make it so. If I’m not standing on the shoreline and waving you off as I watch you board a boat headed for home, then I’m not breathing at all.”
“Don’t talk like that. You’re going to be fine. The surgeries have been successes so far and your body has accepted the new organ with minimal issues. There have been no signs of rejection.”
“When you’re sent home, you have to tell them that he’s not a bad man. That he only wanted to save me because he loves me. Please.”
“I will.”
“And please tell them that I'm very sorry for my part in this. I saw the man that he was becoming and I did nothing. Because I loved him. You know what that's like, don't you?”
“I do.”
“Thank you. You've been very kind. Can you…would you mind if I ask… Have you picked out any names for your baby?”
You’re desperate to talk about something else, to think about something else. Something happy for her even if it’s bittersweet for you. You need a distraction from your current predicament. When she tells you about the baby’s gender (if she knows it) and the names she likes and has been considering, you smile and tell her about the names you highlighted in the baby name book you had at home. You’re not sure if you would’ve wanted to know the gender or be surprised. You talk about the dreams for the future you once had, whether you wanted your first to be a boy or girl, if you had a preference or not, etc.
During your recovery, your husband still acts as the Front Man for subsequent annual games and you’re kept in the dark. He’s in deeper than he was when he won the games. He’s now taken to arranging the games and acting as the Host following the original mastermind's death. He has continuously run the games for several years. It’s now 2024. Your doctor was set free and sent back home before her due date after all the precautions were taken to ensure she couldn’t find or disclose the location of the island, including having her being closely monitored by the pink guards, ready to shoot her dead and dispose of her body if she ever spoke out. But she’s kept quiet and gone along with the story that you and In-ho are dead, because of you. Because of you, she’s still alive and got to have her baby. And you? You’re still on the island. You understand that recovery for your condition could sometimes take more than a year, but you’ve been here nearly ten years. You can’t leave without his permission. You’ve tried more than once. Rather than tell you there’s no life for you to go back to since the world thinks you’re both dead, he keeps you here for so long by lying to you over and over and over. If he told you the truth, how could he admit to any of it without losing you? It’s his duty to protect you, the love of his life. Even if it’s painful. This relentless drive to get what he wants was apparent even before becoming the Front Man, as there were many self-help books on achieving one's desires in his old apartment.
But disruptions to his facilitation of the 36th iteration of the games have forced his hand to resort toward more drastic measures. As retaliation for Gi-hun's continued defiance against him for three years, he repeatedly tries to break him by forcing him to participate in the game. He joins the games specifically to break Gi-hun's spirit, and intentionally works his way into his inner circle, with no indication that he truly sees him as a friend, all to successfully sabotage his efforts to bring the game down by force. When Gi-hun's rebellion is successfully suppressed, the Front Man spares his life while personally ordering the execution of Jung-bae in front of him and telling him it’s the consequence of trying to play the hero. At the same time he’s undercover as a player, he’s still fulfilling his duties as your husband through proxy, having the pink guards give you whatever you need and keeping an eye on you so you don’t learn too much. He’s hidden the remote control he uses to watch the games on the big screen so you won’t know. But what if you’re stronger, smarter, and more resilient than you let on and manage to gather very valuable information by eavesdropping on In-ho’s conversations by feigning being asleep whenever he checks on you, sneaking away and stealthing around the building, etc., all to slowly discover the horrific truth your husband so desperately has kept hidden from you for the last ten years?
13. Like above with The Recruiter, a scenario very much like the Korean thriller movie “Addicted”. You’re the long time girlfriend of Jun-ho and get married. While he and In-ho are very different as people, and the only thing they really have in common is that they’re both cops, they are very close despite only being stepbrothers. You’ve also been very close to In-ho, though you always thought of your relationship as strictly friendly due to him being your brother-in-law and himself having a wife that you believe he loves. You’re there for In-ho and his wife when she gets sick and she views you as a sister not just because of your relation as sister-in-laws but because you’re always there to support her and do what you can to care for her and comfort her, from little things to big things, especially whenever In-ho is away due to his job. He and his wife can always count on you. You visit her more in the hospital than her own husband does. You’re the only other person besides In-ho to learn of her pregnancy and when she confides in you about it, she swears you to secrecy in case the worst happens. She tells you that in case she dies, she doesn’t want Jun-ho or his parents to know and feel even worse. In-ho tries to get you to talk to his wife, to try to convince her to change her mind and terminate the pregnancy, but she’s stubborn and won’t listen to anyone, not even you, despite your pleads that In-ho is only worried for her health and she can always try again after she’s better. Sometime in 2015, In-ho goes missing for a week. Neither you, Jun-ho, or his wife can get a hold of him. You’re all worried. You were always concerned for his safety while on the job and even his wife asked him not to be away from home so much anymore, but he’s just as stubborn as she was. You can understand that he needed more money to help her, but you grew concerned that he was putting himself at risk. And when she worsens and later succumbs to her acute cirrhosis, you’re devastated. Even more so when In-ho returns home and you have to break the news to him. You’re there for In-ho, taking him through the worst of his grief. In subsequent years, he asks you to go with him when he visits his wife’s grave on her death day to bring her fresh flowers, etc.
But then he goes missing again. For real this time.
Your husband becomes so obsessed with finding In-ho that he neglects you. You don’t divorce, but your marriage is deteriorating and while a part of you still loves him, the spark is slowly flickering out. You feel less like a wife and more like a single woman as time goes on. With a heavy heart, you carry on with your life and try to move on and find ways to be happy despite all the loss you’ve suffered. But your depression worsens when your husband stops coming home and stops answering your calls. It’s like he’s also vanished into thin air, exactly like In-ho. You can barely stand to be in your house anymore and often spend time outside or in hotels. One night, you have to hail a taxi when your car breaks down. The speeding taxi crashes into a black van, and while the driver is seriously injured, possibly even killed on impact, you’re only knocked unconscious with minor injuries.
Unbeknownst to you, this is a deliberate and orchestrated car crash, part of a plan to kidnap you and bring you to an unknown island. Under the Front Man’s orders, you’re sedated during the whole transportation process. You later wake up in an unfamiliar room, strapped down to a bed. You freak out, but freeze in shock when In-ho enters the room and comes to your bedside. He looks older, which is to be expected since you haven’t seen him in over five years, but it’s definitely him. He calms you down from your lashing out and panic attack, explaining the situation in a way that’ll keep you in the dark about what’s really going on but also serve his ulterior motives for why he brought you here. He takes care of you while you recover from the minor injuries you suffered in the collision, nothing major besides a concussion and a minor head wound and other scrapes and bruises. He tells you a fabricated but believable story about why he went missing, which includes that Jun-ho is dead, that he was shot and fell into the sea while on a job. To “prove it” he shows you doctored but eerily convincing confidential police files and death records from when that random body was found with Jun-ho’s ID on him. It was so damaged it was unrecognizable in pictures. With evidence in front of you, you have no choice but to believe In-ho and everything he tells you. Still, you’re devastated by this revelation. But he swears to take you through the worst of your grief, just like you did for him when his wife was sick and died.
Years go by of you living on the island, still kept in the dark. Could be through the use of drugs to make you disoriented and confused and blurring that edge of reality, gaslighting, and other manipulation tactics. When he does take you outside his private quarters to get some fresh air, it’s always brief and he stealthily knocks you out so you don’t get a full grasp of where you really are. You never know how you got there or how you got back. It’s so subtle you hardly notice and think you just fell asleep. You and In-ho eventually share a slow, emotional night together and have sex after the tearful revelation that you’ve fallen in love. You didn’t confess to him your feelings sooner because you felt so guilty due to being married to his brother even if he’s dead and you’re a widow now, and because In-ho’s wife was like your best friend. You felt awful for “stealing” her husband even though she died and he’s a widower who suffered the same loss you did. He helps you to overcome that guilt and you start to live life together as a happy and loving couple, despite the strange and unusual circumstances. In time, you become pregnant with In-ho’s child. One day you’re not feeling well, so you decide to go back to your private quarters to get some rest after he takes you outside for fresh air. While you’re there, a package addressed to In-ho arrives. You open it and find a necklace which you remember In-ho had given to his wife. You read the accompanying note from her, saying that she cannot wear this necklace anymore as it wasn’t meant for her and she cannot understand In-ho’s crazy love for you.
Frantic, you snoop around the other doors and find an underground chamber. You dig through In-ho’s secret workroom and find a number of hidden photos of yourself that were taken by him. You realize that In-ho had loved you before you married his brother and before he married his wife. You also find a notebook that In-ho wrote about loving you and being happy because he is able to watch you and live with you through his brother, Jun-ho. Through these secret documents, you discover your husband is possibly alive, having only been shot in the shoulder by In-ho himself and fallen into the sea. He lied to you just so that he could have you to himself. You were talking about getting married because you’re so in love and you thought it’s what Jun-ho and In-ho’s wife would want, at least for the sake of your unborn child. You were so happy mere hours ago and now, you’re crying sorrowfully. You don’t know what to do with the new information you’ve uncovered. Luckily, through some miracle, you’re not caught by In-ho. You put back everything exactly the way you found it as you’ve spent enough time in his personal office at home and remembered how he organizes his things, even down to which direction he sets down the phone receiver.
Do you take him aside and ask him various questions about his wife and where you are and when you can go home? Every time you tried in the past, he’d change the subject after giving you non-definite answers. Do you continue to pretend that Jun-ho is dead and you’ve moved on despite knowing the truth? You love In-ho and you know he loves you but this…this is much more than you could’ve ever imagined. You couldn’t have ever expected this. It’s been revealed that In-ho loved you even before Jun-ho, and had for the entire time you were with his brother. In-ho also confessed in a secret letter to Jun-ho that he’d never send that he made use of all of yours and his brother's secrets to "transform" himself into the perfect man for you. He tells his brother that you will forever love him as your husband. He apologizes and asks his brother never to forgive him for his deeds.
14. In-ho’s wife managed to successfully give birth to a healthy baby girl despite dying in the process. That baby girl is you, born sometime in 2015. When In-ho returned home and went to the hospital his wife was staying in after winning the 28th annual squid games, he received the bittersweet news that his wife was dead, having died in childbirth, but that you, his baby daughter, was alive and would be fine. You were either being kept in the hospital still or staying with Jun-ho and his parents. When he saw you and held you for the first time, he almost didn’t want to let go. He didn’t want to set you down or let you out of his sight. He gave you the name his wife picked. It’s now 2024 and you’re eight or nine years old. What would your life be like? Would In-ho take you with him to the island from infancy to keep you safe and under his watchful eye while he acts as Front Man/Host for the squid games because you’re the last living piece of his wife that he has and he doesn’t want to ever lose you or miss out on any milestone in your life? What would it be like, effectively being kept prisoner on the island but kept in the dark and oblivious about what he does? Having no real friends to play with except maybe the Pink Guards who are under strict orders to play with you or keep an eye on you? Or would he leave you to be raised by his parents and Jun-ho? Or would he keep your existence secret from Jun-ho and his parents and come up with a secret third option that entails you having a normal-ish life with other “family” of his that he personally arranged, but he visits you or sends you messages on a very special encrypted phone or through the mail through mysterious envelopes without return addresses on them whenever he can, even if it’s at the most random of times? Would you know he’s your father from the beginning or would you learn this fact later in life?
OR
For a darker and more fucked up version: What if Jun-hee isn’t the first heavily pregnant player to compete in the games? Sometime during his years working as the Front Man and overseeing the games, he kept a close eye on a heavily pregnant contestant. After she was shot and killed for failing a game (the guard responsible making sure to avoid her stomach and shoot her in the head), her body was quickly loaded up into a box and taken away. The guards working in the morgue only had about ten minutes if they wanted to save the baby growing inside her. And they were under clear and strict orders by The Front Man to do so. A post-mortem c-section was performed and, when they cut her open, they pulled out a crying and screaming baby girl. The baby was cleaned up and checked by the doctor stationed on the island, then wrapped in a blanket and handed over to the Front Man per his orders/request. And that’s how you came to be his daughter. He’s your father now. And as far as you’ll ever know, he’s your biological father who solely raised you after your mother, his wife, died in childbirth from complications of acute cirrhosis of the liver.
15. Being in a poly relationship with the Front Man and The Recruiter would include? I don’t know any specific plot ideas exactly or how you got to be their personal whore/toy, but just imagine being a sugar baby or lover to both of these men that are two different flavors of DILF. You’re given everything from clothes, lingerie, and jewelry to a car and a house, as well as all the money you could ever need to pay for whatever it is you need - college tuition, medical bills, etc., even if it’s not for you but for one of your loved ones. In exchange, you’re on call for whenever either or both of them are in need of you and your services. You do whatever they ask of you, no matter what it is. Doesn’t matter what time it is, you go to them whenever they call. (Or maybe The Recruiter would go so far as to having a key to your house and letting himself in through the door or through a window, without giving you prior warning he’s coming. He comes whenever he feels like it. Could be any time of the day. And if you’re not home when he gets there, he’ll call you and tell you to get your cute ass home. Now. Then he’ll make himself comfortable in your house while he’s waiting for you. But you know that the longer you make him wait, the worse your punishment will be. Maybe a stipulation to having the house is leaving the doors and windows unlocked. If it’s late at night, he’d just sneak into your bedroom while you’re asleep and rouse you awake by going down on you or something. Classic Somnophilia.)
You either drive to them yourself or a car and/or a boat is waiting for you to be picked up. Imagine being squeezed in between these men like a sandwich or being in an Eiffel Tower with them, whether or not either or both of them are covered in blood from shooting players. (They wouldn’t care if you were on your monthly cycle. If anything, your blood would turn them on even more.) Imagine getting fucked on the hood of or inside the white limousine. Imagine them taking turns to watch while the other one fucks you. Imagine them turning fucking you into all kinds of thrilling and borderline dangerous sex games along the same vein of the actual squid games. Like they tell you do something under a time limit and if you fail and the timer runs out, they won’t kill you, but they’ll punish you sexually. And sometimes their punishments are so intense they make you wish you were dead because being denied your orgasms over and over and over is a special kind of torture and the coiling in your gut from your building orgasm that’s unable to be released is almost unbearable. What if you’ve been at this “job” so long that it gets to a point where In-ho wants to give you a “raise” and get you pregnant because he wants a child after the death of his wife and their unborn child and he may or may not have a pregnancy kink?
That is all for now. Thank you for listening to my brainrot.
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lizdive · 7 months ago
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I was thinking of older sister violet_evergarden!reader who is also a stoneheart x aventurine. I'd like to see how they interact since canonically, violet sees herself as nothing more than a weapon and will do whatever she has to do, to protect the person she cares for. Aka aventurine. I can also sorta see her either being an emanator of preservation or one the stronger stonehearts.
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Hi anon :3 !! I love aventurine with my whole heart he’s just so squishy 😞 i had to go to the violet evergarden wiki for this one bcs i’ve never watched the anime so i’m sorry if stuff isn’t accurate this was kinda of difficult for me,, tysm for requesting <3 if you’re unsatisfied just tell me and i’ll redo it!!
notes 𐙚 fem! reader — "you" + "she/her" used to refer to the reader ,, reader as an older sibling ,, reader is based off of violet evergarden from violet evergarden anime ,, reader is an emanator of preservation but it isn’t mentioned much ,, reader is a stoneheart ,, aventurine is referred to as both "kakavasha" and "aventurine" ,, corundum’s are a type of gemstone that is ranked 9 on the toughness scale ,, of course you can change this to the stone of your desire !! this isn’t proofread ignore typos,,
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"The hammer of preservation will fall on all beings, regardless of life or death, regardless of race, regardless of ideology, to uphold the basic rights we inherently posses."
The Rising Stars, the Stonehearts, the Gambler and the Soldier Maiden — all nicknames for two siblings who have seen it all. A handsome aventurine and a beautiful corundum. One blessed by HER, and another blessed by THEM.
To be an Emanator is to be seen as a piece of an Aeon — their will so strong that their abilities have been gifted to them by the Aeon. To be an Emanator in the IPC is to be seen as an asset that cannot be lost. And to be an Emanator of Preservation is to be seen as the biggest tool.
With THEIR blessing you have overcome all that life has thrown at you just for the sake of keeping your beloved brother save from harm. From the moment he was brought into this sad world, you have fought to protect him and your younger sister.
Only one of the two made it out alive.
Many people would call you a murderer, and while they technically aren’t wrong, they fail to see why you do it. Or perhaps they do not care. You killed and therefore you should be sent to your own death.
You remember the day when you and your brother were taken by the IPC. A woman clad in luxury, a smirk on her face, and her tone breathy and warm. "As a servant you should not resist your master." she had said, but you did not pay attention for her.
KAKAVASHA did most of the speaking for you. He was free to go — he had no blood on his hands. You were the one to be sent to the gallows. But you couldn’t and wouldn’t. Death was not an option. It never was and never would be until KAKAVASHA lets out his final breath from old age.
You didn’t see what was wrong — you never did. Yes, you killed the man and many more, but it was self defense. KAKAVASHA and you had always lived in a world where it was kill or be killed. Remorse was foreign to you.
And then came the offer. Join the IPC. Join the corporation that was the reason your kind fell and vanished off the map. Become the same as them. You could not care less. Should your brother join, you will, as well. And he did.
By the end of the day you both were clad in luxuries the same as her.
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⭑ Missions were always a package deal. Where AVENTURINE goes, Corundum always follows. Where Corundum goes, AVENTURINE is most likely following. There is no separating the two.
⭑ AVENTURINE is very patient with his big sister. He knows that unlike him, she is not able to properly express what she feels. He’ll try to help explain why people feel the things they feel — he’s good at putting up a mask of emotions and to do so he needed to understand them first so he’s good at explaining.
⭑ If you have prosthetic limbs like Violet does and have room for drawings and doodles, AVENTURINE will definitely doodle on your arms during free time. Even if you hide them with your sleeves, it’s a nice pass-time activity. Nobody says anything about it because 1: he is a stoneheart and 2: you’re a stoneheart.
⭑ Will try to get you to be less hyper-independent. Ask him for help, it’s okay. He’ll even try to make you a bit reliant on him. He’s not a little kid anymore, he can definitely help you take out those guys. He’s good with a gun and it’ll finish the mission quicker, just let him do some fighting too,,
⭑ I feel like there could be some heavy angst potential here, especially with the entire aventurine boss fight. You’re so determined to protect him, and you aren’t against killing people to do so. He knows this, and so he tries his damn hardest to hide his plan from you but he’s your little brother your little KAKAVASHA so you know him. You’re not the best at emotions but you know he’s lying and hiding something.
⭑ He accepts death and welcomes it with open arms but he also doesn’t want to leave his big sister alone. His big sister, who has done everything and more to protect him. She had killed, she has been wounded, she has put up with his shenanigans, and she has done the impossible. He feels like he’s just throwing that all away,,,
⭑ You are lost without him when he 'dies'. He is your purpose in life. Helping the Astral Express fight against Sunday? Screw them! You need to find your little brother, there is no way he is dead. You pray to Mother Gaiathra, to Qlipoth, to any Aeon that will hear your prayers, that he is alive.
⭑ And when you find him alive and well in the real world, alone in his room in the reverie hotel, you feel like a dam inside you has bursted. You don’t cry, but you’re close to doing so and AVENTURINE doesn’t know whether to encourage you to let out your emotions and calm your through them or reassure you that he is alright and there is no need to cry.
⭑ On a lighter note: AVENTURINE doesn’t mind if you communicate with him via letters instead of messages when you’re on your own solo missions! He’ll get you the nicest envelopes and stamps to put on them. Maybe even some stickers! He loves when you use the silly ones. If you tell him it helps you understand emotions better, he’ll encourage you to write letters more and for other people. If you use an old typewriter, he’ll get you the nicest one on the market!
⭑ It said in the wiki that Violet feels guilt for killing the people she has killed, so if you also feel that, AVENTURINE will be by your side to reassure you that it’s okay. That it wasn’t your fault and it was needed for survival. He might use the "you were just trying to protect me" card to make you feel better since he knows he’s your weakness.
⭑ Sadly, to make a pledge to never kill anyone again like Violet did would be pretty much impossible. In the eyes of the IPC, violet evergarden! reader will always be a weapon, so it’ll kinda be forced upon her.
⭑ AVENTURINE loves the anxious expressions of the people he’s gambling with as his big sister stands behind him, intimidating the patrons of the casino. It also reassures him because if anyone tries to get violent he knows his big sis will be there to protect him so he can be as reckless and as infuriating as he wants.
⭑ Overall AVENTURINE would be a very good younger brother to a violet evergarden! reader because he fulfills her wish to protect and she fulfills his want to be cherished.
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gatorbites-imagines · 10 months ago
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i was wandering if you can write bane x reader [ i'd ascent to god if its trans/ftm reader, it's ok if you can't or dont want to write it :) ] with a big size difference that's all! have a good day/night and take care of yourself <3
Bane x FTM reader
Headcanons
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Still have no internet in my apartment, but luckily my sister is letting me visit her place to do assignments, so I can upload stuff from there.
This is based off of comic Bane more than anything, but i cant really find any gifs of that guy, so comic panel it is.
All in all, I don’t think it matters much to Bane that you are trans. It isn’t something he would see as a dealbreaker, or even care too much about. As long as you guys get along and both have feelings for one another.
Bane is extremely smart too, so if you can’t legally find ways to get treatment, then he would probably know at least 10 different ways to get the result you need.
If you want to build muscle, then Bane is also your guy. He knows as much as one can about the process of working the body and getting the result you want, so he would be able to help you get the look you want, even if you aren’t on any testosterone or hormone blockers.
If you want to work out then Bane could also help you out if you aren’t one for top surgery, as you can get a similar look through the right diet and workout routine. But if you want top surgery, you bet he’s taking care of you afterwards, since he would know a thing or two about medical procedures.
Bane being who he is probably also knows different ways to get you to the hormone level you want, but he would most likely avoid doing anything as drastic as his own mix up with chemicals and the likes, unless that’s what you are trying to go for as well. Would make sure you knew all the dangers first though, just in case.
If you want neither and don’t care much for hormone treatment, surgeries or even presenting masc, then it doesn’t pose any issues either, since Bane wouldn’t really care. Hes one of those “wear whatever you want, I can fight” kinda boyfriends. As long as you are happy and comfortable, then he is comfortable and happy.
He seems like a big scary dude, but Bane would be very respectful of you and how you present yourself. Gives very much “big scary dog privilege” when you guys go out, and you do go out sometimes, as I could imagine some of the bats would let you two go on dates, as long as Bane isn’t causing any trouble. You’ll have to live with being shadowed the entire time though.
The huge size difference also strengthens the whole scary shadow thing, so even if people wanna be transphobic too you, they sure as hell don’t dare to do so, since Bane is towering over literally everyone there with muscles that could kill.
Sharing clothes with Bane would also be entertaining, since hes so much bigger than you. Even just his tank tops would hang off you and slide right off you. You would have to tie it with something or tuck it into your pants with a belt, and even then, it would still look super baggy.
You don’t get the chance to borrow his mask, since he needs it himself. But I could see him finding it kinda sweet if you worked the pattern or colors into your own style. It also helps to tell anybody who wants to hurt you that you hand in hand with Bane. So, crossing you is crossing Bane, even when he’s locked away in Arkham.
The extreme size difference also means you can climb him like a tree, like hanging onto his back like a backpack, or hanging around his neck with your arms without your feet being able to touch the ground if he stands up straight.
You being Banes lover also probably becomes some of the “in the know” knowledge around Gotham. The bigger fish know not to mess with you since Bane would be breathing down their necks if they as much as thought about it.
But being Bane’s partner also means you’d know how to protect yourself and even kill if need be. Being much smaller than him and also being trans puts you at risk, so your lover would want you to know how to take care of anybody that tries to harm you when he’s not around. So, you end up knowing how to use a lot of different weapons and fighting styles one way or another.
But in the end, Bane is a respectful guy whose too damn smart to let you being trans get in the way of a relationship. Your big size difference is also cute in his eyes, since he can easily pick you up or just wrap you in his arms. It’s pretty damn great.
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poughkeepsies · 8 months ago
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when you're gone, i come undone
Buck’s never been religious, and he sure as hell wasn’t raised with the brand of catholicism that seems to plague Bobby and Eddie’s every step, but he thinks he can understand why Bobby likes his rosary beads so much. At the very least it would give him something to do with his hands while he sits vigil at Bobby’s side, way past the time visitors who aren’t on a first-name basis with half of the hospital staff would be allowed. 
The others had left hours ago, some with kids who needed taking care of and others anticipating early shifts the next day, promising to take over from him as soon as visiting hours started. There was no shortage of people who wanted to be the one to keep watch over Bobby, but the night shift would’ve usually fallen to Athena, if she wasn’t recovering in her own room and allowed more than a couple minutes out of bed at a time to come see him. 
There was a quiet devastation clinging to her that Buck had never seen before. Maybe because before there would’ve been the safe walls of her home and the arms of her husband to cover her when she lost her unflappable mask. 
That, more than anything, makes him feel utterly helpless. As much as he had been thinking of Bobby as more of a dad to him than his own father for close to a decade, Athena was never his mom. 
After the rough patch at the start of their relationship, they’d understood each other in the way only two people who love someone as much as they both loved Bobby could. You hold half of his heart, so you’ll hold your fair share of mine, as well. Maybe that was why he’d taken one look at the longing in Athena’s eyes and promised to stay the night with Bobby. No matter his own desire to never let Bobby out of his sight again, he also wanted to protect the pieces of Bobby that were with Athena, as well. 
The only problem is that Buck has never been able to stay still for too long. He fidgets, and he bustles, and he fills silences. At the minimum, it usually earns him a dead-pan look that’s suspiciously drenched in fondness, or his name uttered in gentle scolding twinged with amusement. 
He half-expects the latter to fall from the corner of Bobby’s mouth with a single eyelid cracked open to give its best effort at the former, the way it usually happens when they’re in the bunkroom and everyone else is ready to sleep like the dead while Buck is wide-awake and wired like an electric fence. 
The image stands in such contrast to the blank slate of Bobby’s unconscious face that it does nothing to soothe his nervous fidgeting. He’s leaning so far forward, trying to summon any sort of conscious intention behind the mechanical rise and fall of Bobby’s chest and every reflexive twitch of his face, that he accidentally shifts the chair, so the bottom slides against the floor and breaks the momentary silence that only exists between the regular beeping and intercom noises that come muffled through the hospital room doors. 
Come on, Bobby. Tell me to shut up and go to bed. Tell me it’s late, and I can either close my eyes and actually try to sleep or go make some of that lavender tea we keep for this exact reason. You know you want to. Stilling so as to not miss any minute signs of Bobby’s stirring, Buck’s breath catches tight in his lungs like it used to when the fridge door would be too loud as he tried to sneak past his dad’s sleeping form in the living room armchair when he was a kid. Unlike back then, the disappointment when Bobby fails to stir is a living thing that threatens to swallow him whole. He rides the wave of devastation by opening his mouth and intentionally filling the silence, instead.
“I’m gonna say something, but you can’t get mad at me,” he says. Bobby is silent, but that’s not much different from how he’d usually react to such an opening from Buck, so he takes that as his go-head anyway. “I think this may be all my fault.”
It’s probably just his own nerves, but the air in the room settles around the words with so much  tension that it only serves to spur him on. “Not the- not the fire, obviously. I mean, I had no idea you’d even met the guy Athena thinks is responsible for it, but that’s kind of what I mean, you know? I had no idea.” 
His breath is shaky as he exhales, a tremble running up his shoulders. 
“I don’t- I don’t think I ever told you, what I saw when I was in the coma. Maybe you already guessed. Some days it’s like you seem to know what’s going on in my brain better than even I do, but it was just. It was a different world, Bobby. Daniel was still alive, so I guess I never had a reason to come to L.A. and join the academy and everything was just…wrong. Maddie was still with Doug, and Eddie never got to meet Carla so he couldn’t figure everything out fast enough to keep Chris, and Chimney…well, Chim was still Chimney but he told me that you were dead, Bobby. He told me you’d been dead for years and it was like I couldn’t breathe.” 
He kind of feels like that now, actually. His face feels hot and his eyelashes are heavy like when he’s about to cry but his eyes are dry. For the first time in years, he’s in agreement with his body’s reaction to something. If he were to start crying now, he wouldn’t ever be able to stop, and that feels too much like giving up to be acceptable. 
Deep breath, he thinks, in through his nose and pushed out from his mouth. His lips are dry. He keeps going. 
“I used to think that’s why I died, you know. Like I was supposed to learn something and that’s the only way the universe could think to get it through my thick skull, I guess.” 
“But I think I got it wrong,” he whispers, and it echoes as loud as the beeping from the heart monitor. 
“I thought it meant that I matter, you know. Like, ‘they need you as much as you need them! Don’t leave them alone!’ But I was so stupid.” So much for not crying. His day-old stubble is damp with tears. He’s been wearing these clothes for more than 24 hours at this point and he’s starting to feel overstimulated in the way he sometimes does when they’re on a busy shift and don’t have time to freshen up. It occurs to him that Bobby usually notices, like he notices most things that have the potential to bother any of them. This would be the time when he tells Buck to go ahead and take a quick shower while he reheats the food. And Buck would come back good as new, a weight lifted off his shoulders before he could even recognize it because someone cared enough about him to know him better than he did himself. 
“I’ve been so caught up in my own stuff since I came back and, God, I’ve just been so happy these past couple of months it feels like I’ve been walking around with blinders on. I didn’t even notice this thing going on with Eddie until it was too late and now he might lose Christopher. You came to talk to me after our last shift and I should’ve -  I should’ve - noticed something was wrong but all I could think about was if I had everything to go stay with Tommy. a-and then something happened with Eddie, and I honestly don’t think I spared you a single other thought that night, Bobby. I was using your recipe to make dinner for my date while your house was burning down.” 
He’s tripping over his words, like if he says them fast enough he can reach Bobby and earn his forgiveness first, before the disappointment settles in and bars the gates. 
“I should’ve remembered, Bobby. The dream showed me a world where I wasn’t there and you died, and I left it. I came back because I couldn’t live in that world. I refuse to.” Saying the words settles something in him, and he wipes the wetness from his eyes away with the flat of his palm before crossing his arms and sitting up in the chair, body once again posed like a shield between the outside world and the figure lying in the bed. 
“Look, maybe-maybe I already missed the chance the universe gave me. But you know better than anyone that I’m way better at third chances anyway.” He tries for a smile, and if he squints really hard he can almost see the muscles under Bobby’s eyes tensing the way they do when he’s about to smile, too. 
“You’ve never given up on me before, Bobby. Don’t start now.” 
The monitor’s beeping remains the only other sound in the room, but that’s okay. He’s learning to be patient. Bobby knows that, too. 
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fenharels-teeth · 3 months ago
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i must be god’s strongest soldier for being able to love and find empathy for mythal because everyone is being so horrible to a woman who did the best with what she had to protect her people. god forbid women aren’t perfect lmao. anyway they could never make me hate you mythal. i can’t even associate myself with most solavellans anymore both on twitter and tumblr, and especially reddit (as if i would interact with anyone on that cesspool anyway) because the masks have finally come off and all i see is a bunch of jealous harpies who jump to use misogynistic language and can’t even make an unbiased analysis of mythal as a character because they feel possessive of their pixel boyfriend. she’s not a bad person. she is good at the core of her heart. morrigan tells us mythal was a spirit of benevolence, she was naturally good and kind but like all spirits she was sometimes twisted into the antithesis of that. i’ve seen people say she’s as bad as the other evanuris and that’s a straight up lie. there’s a codex in dav that tells us that the people no longer serve the other evanuris willingly and that they are now forced. as this comes to pass mythal gathers her people and basically tells them not follow her mindlessly or parrot her virtues, that they must not follow the wise, but seek the wisdom they sought. the people go on to ask themselves how they serve a god who rebukes submissiveness and unexamined divinity. when solas said she was the best of them he was absolutely correct. they were cruel tyrants and she ruled with a fair hand. she showed kindness and protected the innocent but she would also bring retribution to the guilty. yes mythal isn’t perfect im not saying she is! she should have listened to solas multiple times, but she didn’t do it because she craved power! it came from a place of love for her people and the desire to create a safe place for them. she was the only thing standing between the other evanuris and complete disaster. i do understand her reasoning for not leaving the evanuris. solas said elgar’nan would have ruled alone with an iron fist had mythal not forced him to share his power. she essentially was the only thing stopping them all from destroying the world and then she was murdered for standing against them when it mattered. so im sorry but you will never catch me hating this woman! i will always be her #1 defender!
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wendynerdwrites · 14 days ago
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I think my fic is getting possessed by an irony spirit:
Sy turns to face him and removes his mask. “Ah, there’s my handsome lover.”
He laughs some more. “And here I thought I was Fen’Harel, tricking an innocent Dalish maiden into performing all manner of perversions.”
Sylath giggles. “No. Fen’Harel might need to trick me into bed, but not you. Not my Solas.” 
There’s a flicker in his violet eyes for a moment. A sad flicker. Sylath strokes his cheek and cups his chin. “What is it?”
The sad look passes and he smiles at her. “That’s who I am, aren’t I? Your Solas?”
She presses a kiss to the tip of his nose. “Well, I suppose you’re not just my Solas—”
“---And if that’s all I wanted to be? Your Solas? Solas Sylath’isha?”
Her heart skips a beat. Is he asking what she thinks he’s asking? “Should I expect you to present me with pelts soon?”
“I…” His mouth goes dry. “I’m sorry, I’m being foolish. We couldn’t possibly… Not now. Not with things… how they are. The world is too broken. And I… I could never don the vallaslin.”
For whatever reason, a certain notion occurs to her. She reaches up and brushes the scar above his brow with her thumb. “You’ve had them before, haven’t you?”
Solas swallows heavily. “I was a slave. It was my brand.”
The breath goes out of her.
She’s met Hawke’s husband, Fenris. A man with lyrium vallaslin branded into him from foot to scalp. They gave him strength, but also controlled much, including his memories. Solas said he was from the north…
The Vallaslin are important. They’re beautiful. They’re sacred. They’re a symbol of all that her People have suffered and sacrificed, all they will continue to withstand and suffer to restore the elves again some day. 
She remembers when she got hers. How her mother gave her a piece of leather to bite down on, how Iralin held her hand. She remembers the weeks before, drawing the various designs on her face with ink, but always coming back to Ghilain’nain’s, the Goddess who was not born to the divine ranks, but earned her place through brilliance and hard work. 
She remembers the bite of the knife, the sting of the ink, how the pain remained, but mattered less and less as it went on. How strong she felt as she withstood it. How every swipe of the blade turned into a new reassurance that she was truly strong enough, truly ready to protect and lead her people. How she comforted herself with thoughts of her ancestors and all they overcame as the marks were carved into her face. How, when it was over, Deshanna beamed at her proudly and handed her the looking-glass and pronounced her true elvhen.
How, when she looked in the mirror and saw her marks, it was like she was looking at her true face for the first time. How so many of her doubts about herself washed away as she gazed at the marks of the Halla-mother. How she felt that she could take on anything the world threw at her. 
Seeing her true face, her Dalish face, made so many things clear for her. She could lead the clan some day, despite her hardships. She could face the world with Iralin by her side. 
Seeing those marks even helped her finally decide to become a mother. She’d been unsure when she was a bare-faced child, not sure that she would ever be able to take on the responsibility of leading the clan some day and fostering a new life or two. But when she saw her true, Dalish face, she knew that she could do it. That she would. 
The Vallaslin helped her become who she is. They are not just her, but her parents, Iralin, Keeper Deshanna. They’re all the people who fought and travelled and suffered and sacrificed so that she could live this life for her people. So that she could be one of them.
Someone took that from her Solas. Someone took the mark of his People, what should have been a proud assertion of his identity, his culture, his responsibilities, his past and future, and they… They…
No wonder he resents the Dalish. No wonder he lived alone for so long. No wonder he fears he may die that way.
Her vision practically goes white with fury. “Who did it?”
“Vhenan, I -”
“Who enslaved you?!”
“She is long dead.”
Sylath takes several deep breaths. “I hope it was painful. I hope her death was painful and I hope everything else she ever had crumbled into ash.”
Solas steps back, looking stunned. “That… That is more or less what happened.”
“Good.” She steps forward and embraces him again. “I will explain to my family, when the world is fixed. They will understand. We are the last elvhen. Never again will we submit. They won’t make you. We can make you a pin or something to mark you as ours. I promise.”
He’s silent for a long moment. “...When the world is fixed, Vhenan.”
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liminalweirdo · 13 days ago
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I had been taking her grocery shopping every week with me. I was usually wearing an elastomeric P100 respirator or an N95 - it would depend on my migraines. She wore a 3-ply surgical mask. It’s been wonderful that she has continued to mask - she knows I’m disabled and that covid is serious.  But in this 1-way masking environment, her surgical mask continues to be poorly rated and did not offer any type of sealed fit. Her glasses would fog up & she would move the mask to readjust them a lot. As someone that also wears glasses sometimes, I get the pains of being a glasses-wearer in a mask.
One day, as she got into my car and buckles her seatbelt, I said: “Can i ask you a question?”. She replied “of course! You can ask me anything”. So I continued, “This is coming from a place of care. Can you try on this mask for me? I’m worried because so many people aren’t masked, that your mask isn’t as good for protection.  It has a foam nose bridge that I think could help so your glasses don’t fog up.” 
I gave her a 3M Aura 9205+ N95. After opening the windows  in the car for air flow, I helped her open the mask up and put it on, making sure the head straps were in place. Her glasses needed adjusting and we figured out how to use the straps to keep them from sliding off. I shared information on how she could reuse the mask for our grocery trips a few more times, and that I could get her more if it was a good fit. 
This took less than 10 mins. Off to the grocery store. I checked in with her - how did the mask feel? Were her glasses fogging? Did she want to try another type, another time? She said it was so comfortable she could almost forget she was wearing one.  We found a mask match, awesome! I let her know how great that was, and that this was all to make sure she was safer and had a comfortable mask. Being able to wear it consistently and for long periods of time were important, while not having gaps between the mask and her face. 
This was one brief conversation, and one mask shared.
Why bring this up?
This conversation was grounded in CARE. It’s also grounded in TRUST, because we have shown care for each other in various ways. It’s easier than trying to have a conversation with friends who have been downplayed covid, family that downright deny the realities of covid, coworkers who gaslit me when advocating for accessibility and safety - all after begging them & sharing so many educational resources. Hell, it's easier that trying to talk to actual medical providers who don’t mask despite having the power and knowledge to keep their patients safer.
I keep thinking back to a different conversation with our coach during a SURJ abolition organizer cohort a few years ago. Consider the power of invitation. An invitation is rooted in trust - trust that the person receiving it will show up. Invitation connects us all and gives each of us the opportunity to learn, grow, change, fight alongside each other. When we choose to offer it. When we choose to receive it. It's so hard in the face of eugenics, but I need hope.
Does this mean I trust all folks to do what is just? Absolutely not. “Allies” have shown their politics are a performance until they must cede power. I know I can’t change everyone’s mind (or be the best person to be initiating that 1:1 convo at all). Even with access to the tools and information from the more vulnerable folks in their lives, a lot of folks are willfully choosing to not do better for a variety of oppressive reasons. I've lost count of the number of times I've come across other supposedly queer folks who just refuse to care about the harm they are causing if it meant prioritizing their own pleasure and comfort. They'll even double down when folks try to invite them to do better - these folks have no shame (which can actually be a useful tool - more on that another time though!). 
This is why mask mandates are so important, so that masking is normalized and destigmatized, and we can actually use the tools we have to fight mass disablement and death. 
excerpt from Keeping each other safe is a commitment by mx.papaya
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kydoesthings1 · 10 months ago
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Translation of two magazine spreads
“Revenge to You” is an illustration with some description while “Love, Hate” is an interview with Sakurai and Matsukaze.
I have been dying to read them for a while now and I finally found ones that are high enough quality to read. Also I was desperate enough. I wasn’t able to find any translations online, so I’m assuming there aren’t any. My Japanese is kind of terrible so any corrections are welcome. Enjoy!
Image source is @/ydotome thank you for the scans!
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Revenge to You
Gaelio Bauduin
Taking off his mask, he returns to the battlefield. To vanquish McGillis, he stands up before (McGillis’s) ambition.
McGillis Fareed
With the [unintelligible] Gundam Bael at his hand, he lights the fire that signifies revolution. But destiny has more trials awaiting him.
Text on the right:
Despairing betrayal and farewell to his dearest friend. Even ideals called “revolution” cloud before such hopelessness. The man who fell suddenly into the depths of dejection borrows the name of “Vidar” who continues the bloodline of the god of war and giants, and rises to his feet again. In his chest is not hate, nor justice. Only the anger to completely reject all of McGillis’s actions. The scar carved deep inside the mask is a reminder to himself that he failed to protect those important to him. With thoughts of all that he has lost in his heart, Gaelio returns to the battlefield again.
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Love, Hate
With love for a “friend” and hate for a “traitor”, and the unrelenting desire to pursue ambition, what are the two who have become nemeses thinking as they oppose each other?
Finally removing Vidar’s mask, showing his wounded bare face. What sort of determination did Gaelio have then?
McGillis Fareed/Sakurai Takahiro
[Not translating the actor bios because 1) too blurry 2) I don’t care about Sakurai]
With acquiring Gundam Bael, the world should’ve bowed down before him. Although he is driven into a corner by Rustal and Gaelio, he isn’t giving up just yet.
Gaelio Bauduin/Matsukaze Masaya
He concealed himself as Vidar to witness McGillis’s “true intentions”. Now he stands coldly in front of his past “best friend”.
Things heat up as all kinds of viewpoints and emotions mix
[Really could not read the question on this one. Sorry]
Matsukaze: I’ve been so excited ever since then!
Sakurai: Especially Gaelio.
Matsukaze: That’s because I loved the audition, and when I talked about “[unintelligible]” with Mr. Sakurai (and other members), I never thought I’d get a role like this. Of course, I never thought that I would be betrayed and get beaten up by McGillis, or that I would reappear wearing a mask.
Sakurai: It was rather confusing to begin with, I’d always looked up to the Gundam franchise, so at the start I was excited like a child about details like “can I pilot a Gundam?” or “will I wear a mask?” But now that feeling’s almost entirely gone…
Matsukaze: Now things like getting in a Gundam or not for us, is [unintelligible]. Gundams have a lot of screentime, so wouldn’t we worry about dying? Something like that (laughs). Meaning now it feels unbelievable, as an audience and as an actor, and the subjectivity of [unintelligible], lots of different point-of-views are mixed together.
Sakurai: Not only that, but isn’t the show too powerful? Even when dubbing it for real, with all the actors together, a lot of things are mixed together and hard to separate, so I feel what it’s like to struggle with acting for once. But then I felt everyone’s determination and focus, and the atmosphere that a lot relied on finishing the project.
Matsukaze: And of course, “death” really grips your heartstrings. Because “death” is “[unintelligible]”, although “acting a character that dies” is hard, it’s the people around that really make you feel the impact of “death”.
Sakurai: Yeah, you’re right.
Matsukaze: For actors that act as a dying character, of course you’d shout and yell at the moment of death, but it’s impossible to do that after death. It’s the people around that have to bear the emotional fallout of that death. I’ve talked about it with Mr. Kawanishi (Kengo) [Mikazuki’s VA] and Mr. Hosoya (Yoshimasa) [Orga’s VA]. For the deaths of other people, whether it be Carta or Ein, the feeling of those who haven’t died…
Sakurai: He’s bearing all that, Gaelio is.
Matsukaze: It’s so painful! (Laughs bitterly) And although the ending of Season 1 was rushed, as the role of a “rival” that can’t win or lose, I thought it was “[unintelligible]”. If I won I’d overact, and I’m bad at acting the loser, so it wouldn’t work either way…Looking back it was really hard, because the rival is too strong, and the story and drama are so powerful, I was really conflicted about what sort of acting would be fitting.
McGillis and Gaelio’s “reunion”
In episode 43 McGillis’s past is revealed, and his objective becomes clear. And then Vidar - Gaelio took off his mask. It was a turning point for the two.
Sakurai: Announcing the ambition he’d never told anyone about all at once, and then piloting Bael, McGillis had revealed all the cards in his hand, so now all he can do is head towards his goal no matter what.
What did it feel like for McGillis to face Gaelio again?
[This whole next paragraph is very blurry. I am as frustrated as you are]
Sakurai: About that, it’s like getting to the other side of a mist [?], and it’s a straightforward impression. McGillis already has the attitude of “getting[?] everything”, but he shows an ambiguous expression unable to say anything, was he surprised? And [unintelligible] feelings, it’s like, not [unintelligible], but it’s a bit of a [unintelligible] reaction. As I thought, when it comes to things about Gaelio, there might be something unlike with anyone else.
And Gaelio also said that he thought that the McGillis of the past “took off his mask in front of him only”.
Matsukaze: Well, I might be biased because I’m acting as Gaelio [?] (laughs). It might have just been an instant, but I think that instant surely existed. Which is why Gaelio probably also read Agnika Kaieru’s works at least once…he probably didn’t read them very closely, though (laughs).
Sakurai: Hahaha (laughs).
Matsukaze: He definitely asked “what are you reading?” Judging from Gaelio’s personality, if McGillis had the same interests with Gaelio or Carta, he wouldn’t have just used them but worked together with them, is what I think. McGillis who crawled up from the depths and Gaelio who was born into and grew up in a privileged family, they see different worlds.
When Mr. Matsukaze acted as Vidar, did you proceed as if it were Gaelio, or did you change it into something a little like a remake?
Matsukaze: When I heard he hadn’t actually died, but was going to reappear wearing a mask, I asked Director Nagai (Tatsuyuki) “to put it simply, did he become a ghost of revenge?” And then, it wasn’t quite like that, but he was still Gaelio as a human. So for myself personally, being betrayed by your best friend and tossed aside by your childhood friend [osananajimi], after experiencing these emotions he can’t control, changes of that level, and people he talks to changes, for example he talks differently with Rustal to some degree, but the baseline is that I still acted as Gaelio.
The moment of conclusion is approaching…?!
In episodes 45 and 46, there were the direct fights between Gundams.
Matsukaze: For me, it was really interesting that Isurugi was also there in between. It was just like how it was with Carta. Even though the source of the conflict is McGillis, he has to persuade Carta and Isurugi first. Because this is the second time…For Gaelio, there is a theme where he instantly becomes furious. Like “See? You’re being deceived by McGillis!!” (laughs)
Sakurai: Like “Again?!” (laughs)
Matsukaze: I acted like I was an Osaka mom, and it passed on the first take.
[Note: apparently Osaka moms are known for being bossy and yelling at their kids or something.]
Sakurai: (Laughs) But because McGillis is McGillis [?], I do think Isurugi’s last words did hurt a lot for him.
Matsukaze: But McGillis is the kind of person to do it by himself in the worst case scenario. He hasn’t changed from when he was a child and hit someone with a chair.
Sakurai: McGillis has no expectations for anyone. I feel that strongly.
Matsukaze: Even Agnika Kaieru, whom he was so infatuated with, seems to have done everything on his own. Something like “Agnika Kaieru’s three musketeers” probably never existed (laughs).
Sakurai: Right (laughs). He just projects himself onto Agnika, and he’s dedicated to his ambition about power. What an unbalanced guy. If he was cleverer he might have been able to find a different way, with more time, there could have been a more cautious way…
Then what sort of drama will the two have from now on?
Sakurai: I think McGillis and Gaelio will arrive at a final outcome soon. If not, there is no meaning for Gaelio to live for. A reconciliation like “Gaelio, I was wrong!” or “I…forgive McGillis!” probably won’t happen…
Matsukaze: Yeah…(laughs bitterly)
Sakurai: It’s certain that there’s going to be some sort of resolution, but what will it be?
Matsukaze: No matter what, McGillis will be McGillis, and Gaelio will be Gaelio, and they’ll both act out their wills. I think it’s important that they do what they want to [?]. Which is to say, that’s where it’s very “Gundam-like”. All sorts of reasons to fight, important things, there’s things you want to protect, and the conflict that arises from these differences. Not just us but Tekkadan as well, everyone with completely different positions are trying to carry it out.
Sakurai: Yes, once I became aware of this structure, it became a whole lot more interesting. For the inner conflict of Gjallarhorn, that survived the history of the universe, Tekkadan is a very small organization, but their rebellion has connected McGillis and Tekkadan deeply. For example, Shino’s death might just be “the death of one soldier”, but he is one of the mental supports of Tekkadan, so he actually changed the battle at least a little bit…it might be a grown-up way of seeing it, but I think knowing that made the drama much more interesting.
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rose-of-oz · 10 months ago
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𝐑𝐄-𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐑𝐎𝐃𝐔𝐂𝐈𝐍𝐆… 𝐌𝐘 𝐒𝐂𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐌 𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐈𝐍𝐀𝐋 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐑, 𝐌𝐎𝐋𝐋𝐘 𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐁𝐄𝐒𝐈
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❝ Every high school has one. A rich, popular, bitchy girl who seems to have it all. Usually an only child (unless her daddy remarries a blonde bimbo barely over the legal age and finally gets the son he’s always wanted), this girl was born to parents with bank accounts loaded like baked potatoes and will never have to worry about money in her life. Maybe she makes good grades and does extracurriculars, maybe not, but you can bet your ass she’s on the yearbook committee, will be able to get into a good college without even trying, and doesn’t really give a shit about anyone besides herself, not even her so-called “friends”. She’s cold, sarcastic and an absolute bitch, and will never be afraid to destroy anyone who gets in her way.
At Woodsboro High, that bitch was Molly Perbesi.
Aside from her strange obsession with tales of ghosts and murder, Molly was the teenage girl most other teenage girls dreamed of being. Captain of the cheerleading squad, head of Woodsboro’s yearbook committee, a bank account that was loaded like a baked potato, and always clad in the newest fashions, Molly was the type of high school senior all the nerdy freshman girls wanted to be friends with, if only because her very aura would give them a protective shield against bullies.
But if any of those freshman had actually managed to find their way into Molly’s inner circle, they would quickly regret ever wanting to be her friend in the first place. Molly was never sincere, full of backhanded compliments, never hesitated to tear someone down if they said something she didn’t like, and talked about murder way too much. It was a miracle Sidney Prescott and Tatum Riley had managed to stay friends with her for so long, given all the many aspects of her personality that worked so hard to push people away.
(Especially considering the fact that Molly frequently made out with Sidney’s boyfriend, Billy, in various storage closets and empty classrooms all around the school. Not that Sidney knew about that. But still.)
And then Casey Becker, Molly’s childhood best friend until the two girls had a falling-out sophomore year, turns up murdered along with her boyfriend (who, admittedly, was an idiotic douchebag, but Molly doesn’t like to speak ill of the dead), and Molly, whose passion for true crime stories is well-known at Woodsboro High, becomes a suspect for the killings. And then more people get attacked and killed by some freak in a weird mask, and Molly continues to be a suspect, despite the fact that she would never wear anything as unflattering as that long black cape thing.
Her father’s money and expensive heels aren’t going to be enough to get Molly out of this scrape. But her secret inner strength, cheerleading muscles, and Sidney’s utter badassness might be enough to survive this ordeal and finally unmask the Ghostface killer. ❞
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General Taglist: @hiddenqveendom, @foxesandmagic, @artemisocs, @reyofluke-ocs, @endless-oc-creations, @stanshollaand, @ginnystilinski-reblogs, @luucypevensie, @ginger-grimm, @arrthurpendragon, @fakedatings, @impales, @claryxjackson, @dancingsunflowers-ocs, @eddysocs, @lucys-chen, @ocappreciationtag. (Also tagging @manyfandomocs.)
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g4ll0wd4nc3r · 1 year ago
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school of the viper headcanons
these are not edited and probably not canon compliant but fuck it we ball
they can’t regulate their internal temperature as well as other witchers, so they have to soak up warmth from somewhere else. you’ll often see vipers curled up as close to their campfires as possible when traveling or taking a nap on a nice warm rock.
gorthur gvaed is filled with era-equivalent space heaters
an older viper some centuries back developed hand warmers. it’s a necessity when traveling.
vipers aren’t outwardly affectionate to each other. you’ll know if one trusts you if they offer to make your potions or food (i like you enough to not poison you) or if they turn their back to you
on the rare occasion that they are more affectionate, they will huddle for warmth or wrap around one another. they may also rub their heads/cheeks together, but not often.
on the whole, vipers are loyal and protective of one another, but have difficulty showing it. vipers on the path tend to avoid one another
building immunity to toxins started as soon as you were recruited. trainees (read; children) would be required to drink poison and identify toxic plants, often running the risk of getting severely ill or dying. older witchers were instructed to slip poison onto food or drinks too
you learned pretty quickly to either smell out whatever was on your food or be tough enough to ride it out
vipers will never eat food they haven’t seen prepared. they go hungry more often than not.
vipers who can get away with it conceal their status as a witcher. a lot of people have crossed paths with one and never known
someone made a hc that vipers will wear other schools’ medallions before an assassination and i love that
vipers are smaller than wolves or bears but more built than cats
the cats and vipers are sister schools. they hate each other and need each other. it’s very strange to see. toxic yuri
cats and vipers are known to trade or buy things off one another, with vipers being able to make quality potions and cats being able to procure harder to find ingredients. they also had similar training so on the rare occasion they work together, they mesh really well
however they will most likely attack one another when out in the wild — cats and vipers both take human jobs, and cats especially are known for poaching jobs that vipers may be interested in
a relatively new practice is “getting your teeth”. after a hard hunt, vipers will have a procedure to get retractable fangs in their mouth. they can load poisons and tear through pretty much anything at the cost of being extremely close combat. vipers without fangs are sometimes called “nibbles”.
maybe also split tongues. is that too quirky
best eyesight among all witchers, which makes it even funnier that vipers keep going blind/get eye trauma
like cats but opposite — their mutagens dulled their emotions to an extreme, so young vipers tend to be extremely blunt and rude. older vipers have learned to fake their emotions to “normal” levels, but will drop the mask as soon as they can
expect your viper to be extremely to the point. they expect the same of you. good luck!
cold and mean and weird about affection BUT. but. after ivar and the old guard died people started adopting animals that were left on the base of the mountains / on the path back for winter
gorthur gvaed is filled with animals that are so so loved and spoiled. it’s atonement for the animals that were killed during training and healing for the vipers that are left
vipers can usually whip up their potions and elixirs while on the road, but much prefer the fully outfitted alchemy labs at gorthur gvaed and *will* complain. loudly.
its not winter unless someone explodes something while experimenting
if an experiment goes particularly wrong it’s not unusual to see a viper face down on the floor. floor time. it’s like a reward
all vipers are fucking nerds. they have an extensive library (added on to after ivar’s death) and many of them learn additional skills (languages, math, other sciences, even music) when out on the path.
most horses don’t like vipers
that tweet that’s like i’m probably nonbinary but i have a job so i can’t worry abt that rn. yeah thats the whole school
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matt-the-radar-techncian · 2 years ago
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Ship opinion bingo: Elias x Chise, if you've finished AMB. If not, feel free to disregard lol
Where to even start with these two
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They are both such interesting characters and after 24 episodes it seems like they’re just starting to realize the potential of their relationship
Elias is a mystery. He’s clearly somewhat upset by his nature as a half-demon and his inability to completely control his darker side. He’s clearly very protective of Chise and cares for her deeply, but this sometimes turns into a desire to control her and go against her wishes. When he’s onscreen you’re usually at ease since you know he’s pretty capable and he really just wants to help, but the alarming part is how when he does take things too far he doesn’t even seem to realize there’s anything wrong. He tries to be conscious of the effect he has on people but sometimes he’s just blind to it
He also just looks so fucking cool. The image of an erudite well-spoken gentleman in a formal distinguished robe with a fucking ram skull for a face is just so pleasing and he looks so good in the anime. He’s basically the sequel to Al from FMA since he has a rigid mask for a face yet the animators are still able to make him so expressive and emotional
And then you have Chise who I just feel so bad for. At the beginning of the series she’s so traumatized that it feels like she’s just numb to everything. Between all of the crazy stuff that happens to her, meeting all these magical creatures, almost dying multiple times it can feel like she’s underreacting to everything, but I guess she’s just overwhelmed by everything in life. She has to really try to let people in and form bonds with them, as well as act on her desires, which might not make for as exciting of a character on the surface, but it’s a really poignant depiction of someone who just doesn’t know how to be more confident. A lot of times while watching my only thought was “god this poor girl…”
And that’s why it’s so satisfying whenever she’s able to stand up to Elias and make her feelings known to him. She’s able to be more assertive and confident, and he’s able to learn more about humans and his relationship with them and with Chise
Even though Chise and Elias are sometimes at odds their relationship does have this warmth and comfort to it, as if they’re family and they’ve known each other forever. The moments when Elias is able to get it right and help Chise or do something nice for her. It really shows both characters at their highest and that’s really what I look for in any ship. I still don’t know exactly what to think of them yet, but I just want to see characters being cute and happy together, and that’s the kind of ship I gravitate towards (like the ones in SU). Chise and Elias aren’t quite there yet but hopefully we’ll get to see more of that from them going forward
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ferallester · 1 year ago
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hoo boy good morning everybody!
I saw the video title a few hours ago when I first woke up, and immediately went back to sleep bc I knew I wouldn’t be able to handle it at that hour LMAO
I just saw the thumbnail properly too
this is… this is gonna be an absolute trip huh
live reaction under the cut bc I’m Terrified!
first of all: THOSE ARE THE SAME FUCKING SHIRTS
second of all: ‘nostalgia cannon to the face’
correction: that is in fact a different shirt that Phil is wearing, but it is ridiculously similar, what the hell
‘quintessential emo’ ‘I was serving twink Karen’
‘it’s just… us’ ‘it’s just us being stupid’
‘you’re giving us full sphincter on YouTube’
‘ass and foot baiting’
‘quite restrained’ it’s 2012 of course you’re being restrained
HEART EYES HOWELL COMING IN FULL FORCE WHILE PHIL ATTEMPTS TO TOUCH HIS NECK
I think I found their favourite part of pinof 4 (the cursed Justin Bieber and HMS QEII masks) (lmao imagine if they made actual masks of the boat)
wow those are some really ugly glasses phil
why DO you boys have bugspray in here
‘unless they pressed their noses TOGETHER’ *a sound that normal humans make*
why aren’t they reacting to the blooper videos you guys do know you have bloopers available right
official rating: mid
THE CURSED DAN FACE WAS ON THE SUNDAY TIMES—
oh that is so incredibly unfortunate, why did they use that particular video as a photo reference LMAOOOOO
also who scanned this particular copy what the hell happened to that page
thank you Dan for a recreation
either they don’t want to talk about it or they forgot about 2012
ah. ah that explains a lot about why pinof 5 Looks Like That
PHIL— DAN—
THEY HAD TO REFILM PINOF 5–
the wrecking ball
Dan is fucking relentless with his past self
‘tit tackle’
oh that’s mildly horrifying how low they can go, I think I found an ick
YOU MOTHERFUCKERS— NOT THE REAL VOICES—
I hate them
weirdly the vibes of pinof 5, at least with these idiots reacting to themselves, have gotten. so much worse
Dan able to predict what his past self would do next…
‘crack protected’
oh Phil
a gingerphobic goose…
‘I feel like you’ve recovered from that’ ‘:|’ ‘no?’ ‘A—’
I really hope someone makes a gif of them arguing over the old handshake from pinof 6 and this video
‘assigned mother’ y’know that makes sense actually
successful monkfish backwards!
Phil looks at the camera and Dan just looks at Phil at the end, STOP
they literally JUST used fireside.caf for the shoulder thing actually
the sexy end screen dance also like… horrifically iconic
I always forget about their weird noises they make at the end AND THE BOYS ARE AMUSED
Phil… Phil there’s 8 billion people… on earth… XD
this is the pinof that came out just before I got into them :0
Dan’s hair is. Awful
MOTHERFUCKER DON’T YOU FUCKING DARE SHOW US FESTIVE DITL
shoutout to the vyous tho
love that Phil actively remembers that Dan complained about the thickness of the whiskers
‘I AM BECOME YOU’ also cheese umbrella is still awful (affectionate) to this day
THEY BOTH USED THE SUNGLASSES EMOJI MOST RECENTLY
also hello lobster emoji I know exactly why you’re here
pæch
THEY MOSTLY REMEMBERED THE LIZARD SONG—
rip that peace lily
the anaconda scene…
the game does indeed still work
‘TIMMY LIKES IT’
WHAT THE FUCK DID DAN SAY— also I think I found the most iconic moment of this video so far, they’re just DYING—
TATINOF reference
shut the FUCK UP boys we KNOW you’re touching
as someone who once ate a lemon near-whole bc fruit and who regularly eats lemon and lime slices, their flinching is a fail
existential crisis :(
boys isn’t the time for the merch outdated???? anyway moving on
SLUTTY CATBOY
my calendar and sweater are FINALLY shipping btw and I’m so excited!!!!
THEY’RE GONNA DO A TIERLIST :D
PINOF 7!!!! NEXT EPISODE IS PINOF 7, FINALLY I’LL BE ABLE TO RELATE AGAIN
THEY FINISHED RECORDING POPPY PLAYTIME CHAPTER 2 AT FOUR????
‘danisshowinghole’ ‘amazingtimmy’ thanks!
oh my god I can’t wait for part three actually
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raytm · 10 months ago
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southernwood :   how seriously does your muse take themself ?   do they prefer a solemn   &   intellectual atmosphere or do they delight in jokes   &   banter ?  / @tenshujo salvia : is your muse possessive over people or things that matter a lot to them ? how do they express that possessiveness , or lack thereof ? / @starspurn amaryllis :   what is something or someone that your muse takes pride in ?   how do they express that pride ?   goldenrod :   does your muse believe in luck or fortune ?  why or why not ?   where do they believe these things come from ?  sunflower :   what brings your muse the most joy in life ? / @dupliciti
sparkle does not take herself seriously, however, a satirical take on the concept of solemnity is very much a farce she would participate in. she revels in a transposing identity, in being able to accurately discern and replicate if not create of her own volition, people, histories, truths. she can find delight in many a place, both in the asinine and in the most severe. inherently, she is not one to tie herself to a true sense of severity, i think one of the biggest parts of what makes me intrigued about sparkle as a character is the fact that she appears untethered to most things and able to delve into a great many without any particular, lasting attachment to them. she could take herself very seriously, or not seriously at all, depending on the circumstance and if it were to her own elation.
to a degree, yes, but aren’t all people. is what i feel she would tell you but, she gives off a certain degree of not being restrained by concepts such as possessions or people. however, perhaps this is interchangeable also, considering her mask, the girl who preceded sparkle, who gave sparkle her identity ( or perhaps she didn’t, again it’s impossible to tell with her because she has such a penchant for lying or making things more interesting than they are ) was maybe someone / something that she is possessive of. reading her lore makes me inclined to believe that the person sparkle is now emerged from that initial spark, so it would be that spark which birthed her elation, thus she may be protective / possessive of it. It’s her’s after all. But she also gives off the vibes that she would be pettily possessive over things just to see the way it makes others feel / riles them up. 
she takes pride in her performance, in her capacity to deceive others with her immaculate impressions. she spent a great deal of time studying others in order to be able to personify them, to wear their face and play their role. she expresses this in her splendid acting, be it small scale, or large scale, where eyes can fall upon her is where she’s drawn to being. I do not think there is much she takes in pride for apart from this, it seems to be where she draws her elation from and where her identity emanates from. I think it would be rather amusing if sparkle had say, small rituals she did before certain performances / acts that she believes, perhaps with a sort of ingenuous flair, enhance if not guide the course the act will take. perhaps innately linked backed to aha and knowing that which satiates the laughter also satiates herself. luck is bestowed upon her because she plays the part designated for her, if that is guileless belief then perhaps, she is indeed so.  elation, steeping herself in the delirium that arises from anarchy. sparkle revels in the uninhibited essence of her own elation at any given time, causing other’s strife, witnessing the marionette perform in the way she has devised for it, seeing plans come to a splendid, anarchic fruition. she also enjoys saccharine snacks, effervescent beverages. she is someone who can enjoy both life's intricacies and its simplicities. another thing she truly enjoys is being able to deceive others with her imitations, with the time she dedicates to studying, comprehending and purloining others mannerisms there’s something quite satisfying about the look of credence on their faces when their friend has been replaced and they are none the wiser. 
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