#because they're inextricably connected to the love between the friends

[francesderwent]

I can’t take it anymore.

you realize, don’t you, that they haven’t made a good muppet retelling since 1996? I understand that Jim Henson had already died at that point, but a lot of the old guard was still deeply involved. and his son directed both A Muppet Christmas Carol and Muppet Treasure Island, and he hasn’t been involved in anything since, except in an executive producer role.

the Muppets themselves--the characters, the puppets--have a kind of magic. sure. but the fact that I haven’t seen anyone on here mention Muppets Most Wanted ever, let alone the NBC series or the Disney+ “improv” show, means that their magic has a limit. the story has to be told by somebody who gets it. the Muppet properties that we all know and love were made by a group of friends, many of whom had been working together for literal decades. you can’t just expect whoever’s calling the shots at Disney to throw Kermit and Gonzo into your favorite classic novel and create something of the same caliber, let alone with the same heart.

[amphoraerotica]

one of the recurring relationship structures that delights me in tsushimi bunta's body of work is what i flippantly and affectionately refer to as the emotional support shota. an emotional support shota is the younger boy (usually a kid who has grown into a teen by the time we're introduced to the story as readers) who becomes a receptacle for the unresolved childhood trauma of an older man who takes him under his care. i think this dynamic is most clearly legible in idolish7:

kujo takamasa adopts tenn so that tenn can continue the dream that he had with zero, who disappeared without warning and abandoned him. tenn, his adopted son, is his proxy for his unresolved feelings of abandonment at zero's disappearance. this is probably the most explicitly parental emotional support shota relationship if only due to technicality.

but i'm going to be talking about mahoyaku for the majority of this post, so let's look at that too:

figaro "garcia," "32" years old, becomes a teacher/mentor to mitile flores, his late friend's son. figaro deliberately obfuscates the development of mitile's magical ability because he is trying to avert a future large-scale disaster that will happen at mitile's hands (unknown to mitile himself). tempering mitile's magic power gives him the feeling of being able to control a large-scale disaster, which he failed to do in his youth for villagers who relied on him to keep them safe.

oz, who is known to be the most powerful and most solitary wizard in the world, finds arthur granvelle, the child prince abandoned in the snow for being born a wizard. even those closest to him throughout his life have treated oz as dangerous and incapable of love due to the magnitude of his power. through raising arthur, a pure-hearted child, oz experiences unconditional love for the very first time in 2000 years.

and so on... these are all obviously simplified descriptions, but you get it.

as i think about emotional support shotas, one of the relationships that i remain undecided on is the one between oz and figaro, and snow and white. the details are sketchy, but oz and figaro both seem to have been raised by snow and white from a young age in some capacity. but what's interesting about this particular dynamic is the factor of snow and white's inextricable and interminable codependency. the children that snow and white pick up, whether they're oz and figaro who they retain long-term connections with, or to a distant extent the human villages who they watch over on a whim like children playing with dolls, are drawn into the relationship BETWEEN the two of them. snow and white kind of seem like a couple who keep having kids because they're convinced that having another kid will save their marriage. rather than unconsciously looking to heal any scars from their childhood in their relationships with their younger proteges, snow and white instead seem to use "their kids" as a reification of their own snowglobe worldview and a reinforcement of the natural correctness of their relationship with each other.

so at the end of typing all that up i don't think of oz+figaro and snow+white fit into the paradigm of emotional support shota. snow+white playing house actually ends up exacerbating the vacuum of parental-adjacent, unconditional emotional fulfillment that follows oz+figaro through their lives. i think you could even say that it's exactly because snow and white WEREN'T asking for unconditional love or eternal companionship from "their kids" that figaro and oz end up either looking for or completely accidentally actually finding these things in the relationships that they establish with the "next generation."

[vincent-frankenstein]

talk to me about Thomas ur oc I wanna hear the rambles

my silly guy :] I am always happy to talk about him!!!! here's the basics for folks who aren't familiar with him, and I'll ramble under the cut bc I have SO . many thoughts about him

so Thomas spent so so so long devoting his entire life to taking care of his brothers that he like... fully did not have one of his own. He didn't have space to really develop an identity outside of that. Tristan and Jasper had their own friends and problems and activities and Thomas was just. the driver, the listening ear, the shoulder to cry on. He had to work to support his family and outside of all that he had no time to figure out who he is.

so coupled with the fallout of his baby brothers being horrifically frankensteined into one being, and dealing with that grief and his father's renewed grief, he's gonna have one hell of an identity crisis. because like, he can't bear to look at Rose, his father is actually taking responsibility to care for Rose, and Rose is also able to take care of themself, they're happy to exist, they're just chilling. So suddenly Thomas has all the time in the world and absolutely zero solid facts about himself beyond the fact that he failed. He's a Molotov cocktail of anger and grief and panic, because what does he do now, who is he now, without people to care for, without his brothers? They were inextricably connected to the point that Thomas didn't know where he ended and his brothers began and now that connection has been violently severed. the first chunk of time between Rose coming into being and Thomas meeting Mallow is the darkest time of Thomas's entire life.

So I've been thinking a lot about that, but also the process of him healing from it. It all starts with Mallow, she's the first person to really meet Thomas - like, he had "friends" in school but they only met good ol' Tommy Hart, the ray of sunshine who will absolutely help you with your homework, he'll absolutely give you a ride, he's a delight to have in class, so helpful, always so helpful. Mallow is the first person to see him grieving and not leave him to do it alone. For the first time in his life, Thomas has a shoulder to cry on.

I like the idea of Thomas eventually discovering how much he loves to write. Because Rose is literally a born poet - Jasper and Tristan both wrote poetry - and I think that after a lot of processing and grieving and learning to accept that Rose's existence isn't Thomas's fault, I think they could bond over that. Thomas is like, the last "loose end" of Rose being completely happy to exist, because like. they like being Rose, and Sonja treats them like their own person, and they've got all their arena friends who never even knew Tristan and Jasper, and their dad is... struggling, but he was never there to begin with, but Thomas was there every day, and Rose was born loving him with an intensity that leaves them breathless. That's their big brother, he watched over Tristan and Jasper every day of their lives, and yeah they argued sometimes and yeah it wasn't always smooth sailing but... Rose misses him. And they know Thomas misses who they used to be. They notice every time he flinches when they enter the room. They notice the way he's never once made eye contact with them.

And like, they're not gonna push that. They miss Thomas but what the fuck are they supposed to do, force him to hang out with them? They're not grieving, but he is, and they get that, so they throw themself into arena fights and they dump their own sadness into a shitty little notebook and they show it to Sonja, sometimes, but otherwise they just deal with it. And meanwhile Thomas is finally starting to feel like a person, and switching out Beating Shit Up with writing out his feelings to cope. And writing out his feelings to cope turns into just. writing, and I feel like he'd turn more towards writing fiction than poetry but they both write to vent, and they both write for fun, and after a long time they're able to meet on that equal ground.

It would be... hard for Thomas. Even as he starts to heal, Rose is like a walking open wound, and seeing them is like dumping salt into it. And Rose wants to like. flop across him like Jasper used to, or go sit in his room and Exist together, like Tristan did whenever he got stressed, but they're not gonna push him, they don't think they can handle him outright turning them away, or worse letting them stay and being uncomfortable the entire time. So it would take forever for either of them to reach out, but... I feel like Thomas would find Rose writing, eventually, maybe while walking home from hanging with Mallow, and instead of turning around or walking past he asks to join them.

[nothing0fnothing]

you're not wrong about NPD and enabling the need for supply isn't healthy it just exasperates the symptoms.

thank you for your support.

I'm going to use your comment as a bouncing off point to discuss narcissistic supply if you don't mind.

NPD and narcissism are agreed in most psychology circles to not be the same thing, with NPD being a disorder categorised by clinically high levels of narcissistic traits, along with other traits not generally associated with narcissism (such as having low or no empathy and low self esteem.) Narcissistic Personality Disorder isn't even the only disorder categorised by high levels of narcissistic traits. Borderline Personality Disorder and histrionic Personality Disorder are two more. They're categorised as cluster B Personality Disorders and unfortunately being diagnosed with one comes with more than its fair share of stigma.

Cluster B personality disorders are actually widely agreed by experts to be formed in early childhood through trauma. Going into discussions like the one I've inextricably found myself in these last few days with that knowledge is important, because if anything people with NPD deserve love, acceptance and support. With that knowledge we can understand why people with these disorders have a need to be praised, complimented and showered with attention. Everyone deserves love and support, nobody deserves a willing victim ready at a moments notice to receive abuse because a mentally ill person feels they need it. Everyone should be willing to be a good friend to the people they love even if their loved one has a highly stigmatised disorder, nobody should be shamelessly used for supply and had their trauma exploited to that end as I have been that last 3 days.

That being said, it's up in the air regarding narcissistic supply and weather a person suffering with NPD needs it. Generally those who know more than me say that the answer is yes, that to remain functional and emotionally well, a sufferer of NPD (and some people experiencing other Cluster B Disorders) do need narcissistic supply. Its not hard to extrapolate from that that if a person with NPD, BPD or HPD may need supply to maintain emotional equilibrium, so might a narcissistic person who doesn't have a cluster B personality disorder.

This isn't evil and it doesn't mean that people with this disorder can't help but hurt, abuse or dominate everyone in their path. While some who are untreated, undiagnosed, unwilling to change or all 3 do behave in ways that are unacceptable, this isn't always the case.

In fact a lot of therapy surrounding NPD specifically, is learning how to receive that supply in a way that does no harm. This could be venting to a friend willing to listen, going out of your way to help someone to confirm that you are a good person and surrounding yourself with people who care for and appreciate you. When we think about it this way, we can understand that people with cluster B personality disorders are actually highly sensitive people who need validation and comfort just like the rest of us, they just have to go about receiving it in the right way. This is better for the people in the cluster B sufferers life, but also for the cluster B sufferer, who generally do not want to hurt people for their own gain and don't set out to do so.

I have to be honest I never came to this account hoping to talk about NPD or cluster B disorders, I'm hardly an expert and it hardly connects to my reasons for starting this account. But the more I am attacked for vilifying NPD by people who don't understand the difference between narcissism and NPD, the more I feel like I have to defend myself, my blog and the people with the disorder that is being misrepresented by the people accusing me of demonising NPD with ableism. I'm not an ableist I just know what I've experienced. I know what it's called and I won't stop correctly identifying my experience because some people who don't know better wish I wouldn't.

[team-frightfur]

character ask game: dennis mcamerican

Thanks for the ask!

General opinion/How much I care about them:

They're kinda eh to me, honestly, but I still appreciate them. For one, their increasingly suspicious and freaked out faces during infiltration are gold. For another, he has a really fun duelling style and a lot of personality. He's like a second, more competent Sawatari.

A ship I love:

I'm not super into any of his ships (or many ships, honestly) but I can def see why many would work.

Dennis x Yuri capitalises on their shared past and seeming casualness. Is Dennis lying when he tries to reach out? Is it just politeness? Is he scared of Yuri deep down? What abt Yuri, does he find him annoying? Does he ignore him? How does that change? It's an interesting quandary.

Dennis x Yuya is more on the fluffy side. Those two can pull off some fine prime clownwork together. Plus they're both students of Yusho so they have a reason to connect. Then you start thinking abt their flaws and strengths. Eg. Dennis teaches Yuya how to clown better and Yuya teaches Dennis how not to child soldier better.

Dennis x Ruri is pretty obviously interesting because of the enemy -> tentative allies -> friends -> lovers possibilities. It kinda emphasises Dennis's regret and desire for redemption as well as Ruri's whatever you decide to HC her as having.

A non-romantic relationship that I love:

All the romances work just as well as friends lmao. To me, there's barely a difference between romance and friendship anyway. What do you mean romance isn't just friends but kissy. Can you tell I'm aro?

The NOTP:

I mean, anything that's like, incestuous or pedo I guess? I doubt thats really prevalent tho like this is a low hanging fruit. I generally don't dislike ships because there's always some progression they drive or depth they illuminate if you look.

My biggest headcanon about them:

Unlike Sora, Serena and Yuri, all of whom are orphans, they have family in Fusion. Ripperoni.

An idea for a fanfiction I would like to write/read about them: (if I have none in my WIPs I'll make one up on the spot!)

Yuya and Dennis clown too hard at a tag duel tournament and start dropping 11 negates per turn. Cut to a few weeks later where they're sending strongly worded letters to Reiji about how Monkeyboard TOTALLY isn't op! While the entire rest of the cast sighs in relief.

Something that makes me think of them: (a song, a character in another fandom, an animal, anything)

My friend calls him Sideshow Bob (bc of the hair). The link is inextricable now.

Thanks again for the ask!

[extant-exhaustion]

Haikyuu!! Headcanons (7/?)

Why does it work between them?

KageHina: Kageyama and Hinata are unflinchingly loyal to each other, even though, in some ways, they're foils of one another. Where Hinata has had to fight tooth and nail to get good at the sport he loves, Kageyama came into it with natural talent. Where Kageyama is strategic, Hinata relies on instinct. But in all of the ways that are important, on and off the court, they are indistinguishable. Their passion and drive pushes them both on. Their love for their team (and each other) makes them kind and compassionate. Their differences bring them closer together and help them to hold the other up when things are hard. But at their core, what makes Kageyama and Hinata work is their unshakeable loyalty to one another, their absolute trust and belief in each other, and their devotion to being the best—together.

BokuAka: Bokuto and Akaashi have complete faith in each other. Some people might see Akaashi as Bokuto's babysitter or the one who keeps him in line, but their relationship is so much more than that. Akaashi does rein Bokuto in when things get out of hand, but he also encourages his partner's enthusiasm. He's proud of Bokuto, and he's happy to support him in everything he does. And Bokuto adores Akaashi. He truly believes Akaashi can do anything and he wants to be someone who inspires his partner. Their support of each other is so important and so integral to who they are, both as individuals and as a couple. At the end of the day, that support and faith is what makes Bokuto and Akaashi work so well.

IwaOi: If a good friendship is the basis for a good relationship, Iwaizumi and Oikawa are set for life. They are best friends. More than just the common phrase "best friends," Iwa and Oikawa have been by each other's sides for (literally) longer than they can remember. They've seen every one of each other's awkward phases and epic failures, as well as all of each other's accomplishments and successes. They've grown up together and grown together and are who they are because of the friendship they share. Their lives have been inextricably intertwined for so long that being together is as easy as breathing. Iwaizumi and Oikawa's bond is unshakeable and that makes the love they share equally eternal.

KuroKen: Kuroo and Kenma see sides of each other that no one else does. They're so comfortable around each other and so in tune to each other's emotions that they can communicate without speaking. Kuroo can sense when Kenma is feeling anxious and is always the shield to calm him down. Kenma knows when Kuroo's feelings of inadequacy are raging and knows what to say to stop his thoughts from spiraling. But they also get to see positive things no one else notices—Kuroo loves Kenma's dry humor, and Kenma will never stop Kuroo's nerdy babbling when they're alone. In short, Kuroo and Kenma can be themselves together, and they'll always treasure that comfort and freedom.

(Keep reading: DaiSuga, AsaNoya, KiyoYachi, UshiTen) (all headcanons here+)

DaiSuga: Daichi and Suga are utterly devoted to each other. Like a sappy elderly couple that has been together for fifty years, they are a unit. Even when they were just friends, they found themselves searching for each other in crowded rooms, checking in constantly when they sensed even the slightest tremor in each other's moods. And once they realized how deeply in love they were, that devotion only grew. Sure, they still tease each other endlessly, but there's a palpable adoration behind all of their interactions. Their friends find it nauseating, but Daichi and Suga know that the intensity and singlemindedness of their connection is something to be envied.

AsaNoya: Asahi and Nishinoya challenge each other. They help each other be more and better. Without Noya, Asahi would almost never step out of his comfort zone. He wouldn't try new things and thus wouldn't find new passions and loves in the world. Their international travels were Yuu's idea, and Asahi will never be able to thank him enough for insisting on those adventures. And Noya knows that Asahi is a big part of why he is who he is—Asahi's presence alone has helped Noya grow as a person. Asahi makes Noya more patient, more compassionate. He makes Noya slow down and think more about how to talk to people and how to listen. They have very different personalities, but Asahi and Nishinoya bring out the best in each other and encourage each other to keep growing every day.

KiyoYachi: Yachi and Kiyoko are stronger together. At their core, they're more alike than people might originally think. Yachi's generalized anxiety is paralleled by Kiyoko's social anxiety. But when they're together, all of that seems to fade into the background. Yachi feels less nervous with Kiyoko's hand in hers; and Kiyoko can stand up to anyone when Yachi is by her side. Together, they feel braver and more capable, and when they squeeze each other's hands in silent encouragement, they feel like there's nothing they can't face. Kiyoko and Yachi may be nervous more often than they'd like, but with their partner's constant presence at their side, things get easier every day.

UshiTen: Tendou and Ushijima can be themselves together, fully, without reservation. Tendou is chaotic and outspoken around everyone, but he has quieter moments too, and he often feels uncomfortable being that way in public. With Ushijima, Tendou can relax. He doesn't feel the need to always be "on." He can curl up on the ground between his partner's knees while Ushijima watches television from the couch and Tendou doodles absentmindedly in one of his many sketchbooks. And Ushijima can be as stoic and serious as he always is, but Tendou will understand what's left unsaid and Ushijima won't feel pressured to explain. In many ways, they understand each other better than anyone else does. And that means that Tendou and Ushijima will always feel at home when they're together.

[retrogradedreaming]

okay so i went and read your pinned post on your oc blog and i wanna hear more about gingersnap book 👀 what are the characters like? what's the world like? i'm bad at coming up with questions so just share anything you want skjhgsk

sfksdjfld grace this made my morning <3 also don't worry about being bad at questions, I sent the ask about your OCs to you before 6am when my eyes had been open a grand total of five minutes, so you're good 😂

btw before i get into it, if anyone wants to see my wips, characters, thoughts about either, and other original work, i post more of that on my wip sideblog @slippersandsmoke

gingersnap book is the oldest project I have that I'm still (sort of) working on (since...2015? 2016? i can't remember when Liam and Elliott first showed up). it's a little complicated for me because very early on, the characters started as like side OCs in a collab fic sort of thing with my ex, and then these characters developed more completely into their own thing until I took them out of the fandom world where they started and just made them their own story.

the world is just our world and the story is set in the general area of where I live. that might change, though, because one of the characters supposedly lives in his family's vacation house and no one has a vacation house here. then again, maybe he can just move, idk, I've been taking a break from working on the main story this year, so I haven't worked out a lot of the details around the setting/reasons why one of the main characters lives there. which also means that anything I tell you now is subject to change later.

the story follows Liam and Elliott, who had a long-term relationship, broke up, and then come back together through a series of unfortunate coincidences and events. the characters are all in their mid-20s (y'know, to reflect that i was in my mid-20s when I made them), and the whole story is kind of like an exploration of the mid-20s experience of "what the fuck am I doing with my life?"

since this is getting long, I'm putting the specific character info for the four main characters I think about under the cut

Liam: He's a manager at an upscale restaurant in the area, he's from London (I think) and he's...hm. Not very nice? He tries to be, and he's reliable, practical, and gets shit done, but he doesn't do feelings. He moved to [the fictional version of where I live] for school, where he met Elliott. He's really into theatre, and he prefers directing to acting (though he's quite capable at both).

Elliott: Elliott lives in western MA, and he went to school for art. He loves to draw and paint, and he works at a bookstore and as an art teacher. He's very opposite Liam in that he enjoys his alone time, but he'd much rather enjoy time with other people and he has no problem being likable and fitting in with others.

Will: He works with Liam at the restaurant, and he bounces between jobs to pay for his apartment and help his mom support/care for his younger siblings. He has a German shepherd named Milo, and he's kind of a work hard play hard type of person, where he works a LOT but he knows how to have a good time. He's involved with Jasper, but they both have their own commitment issues, so they're mostly friends with benefits who are inextricably connected.

Jasper: He's a bartender, and he's had a rough life. He met Will in high school and spent most of his time at Will's house, so he essentially integrated into their family until Will's dad died when they were in college (Will dropped out after that because he needed to work). And that's when Jasper kind of left the picture for a while, since he thought his struggles would make it worse for them. But Jasper himself is really sweet, super outgoing, and he's the kind of person that people naturally look after because he's such a disaster that everyone's like "should probably watch that guy." But he means well, and he loves Will despite his commitment issues.

[likelylarks]

love this ships ask thing sooooooo Ricciardo/Leclerc?

oh a fun one to start with, thank you!!

mixed feelings about them!! because they definitely fucked in vegas in 2019 and that's very hot but also i mostly just want them to braid each other's hair and talk about the dick that they get from their actual partners

but the relationship between daniel and charles is something that i don't think we talk about enough; like, they're always going to be inextricably tied together through jules's memory and we don't talk about it! like, how comfortable jules made daniel in the european racing scene after he moved when he was 17 (literally his first friend in italy) and then the potential for daniel making charles feel comfortable after charles joined f1? like how much did daniel love jules and how much does that impact how he sees charles?

i think bc of that connection that they have, i don't think they're ever an "endgame" kind of couple for me because i don't know how you'd live with a ghost like that

[rosemary-is-in-pesterquest]

Terezi seriously deserves so much better... post canon would've been the perfect place to revive her friendship with both Dave and Karkat. but also, her and Vriska's relationship got totally shafted in post canon. for self proclaimed Vriska fans, they don't really seem to be including her? like they basically just replaced her with a bland teen version? what the hell was the point of that? to go off a bit: the most interesting parts of Vriska's story are centered around her traumatic upbringing, which she deals with in ways that make her difficult to love, and Terezi is tied to her through repeated attempts to love her anyway, in spite of how hard it can be.

the trolls actually have a lot of relationships where one person has to decide when to stick by someone, and when to give up. Sollux ends up in a kind of limbo state with Aradia... he still likes who she was, but she's not that anymore when we first meet her as a ghost. Kanaya is interested in Vriska for a bit, but eventually feels unappreciated and used after spending probably longer than she should've trying to become interesting to her. Feferi has to figure out how to give up on Eridan without it resulting in widespread destruction, and that threat is why their relationship is exhausting to her in the first place. and Terezi has probably the most complex conundrum of all with Vriska. the two of them grew up together, and spent a long time killing a lot of their peers. for Vriska, it was essential to her survival and she had no choice, while for Terezi, it was just a recreational activity... and this is why Terezi eventually feels more guilt over it, and is able to realize that she should try to reform herself. meanwhile, Vriska built so much of her identity and self worth around taking pride in her ruthless persona, that it seems inextricable from who she is.

Vriska can't give up her kill-or-be-killed ways, even when she doesn't need to appease her lusus anymore, because this is the metric by which she judges people, and she can't stand to see herself as a victim. to her, weakness makes you killable... the way her lusus threatened her taught her that. failure results in death. and that's what bothers her so much about Tavros. by the standards she grew up under, he shouldn't have even made it as far as he did. but he also didn't even grow up by the same standards as Vriska to begin with. his lusus is tiny and cute, and he's clearly never even been asked to do anything violent before. even the fact that he had a choice is a novel concept. he didn't earn the right to live... not the way Vriska had to. to her, that's not fair. he even wanders into a game called "fatal live action roleplaying" like... the word "fatal" is in the name, looking for a fun adventure. as if Vriska hadn't been using this game to hunt her peers all this time. and she's probably killed a ton of more capable trolls than Tavros. what gives him a pass compared to them? the basic existence of someone like Tavros is like a wound that Vriska can't stop picking at, even while she's too prideful to admit she would've wanted a better life than what she got. instead, she has to hold others to this ruthless standard. if she doesn't, she might have to admit that her struggle was optional, or that it might not have made any sense to demand that much murder from a child. she didn't have to be raised like that. but like hell she's gonna play the victim. and it's alienating to be hated because of the one thing you feel like you've really accomplished. nobody could ever stomach being proud of Vriska, so she does it herself. she only has herself to rely on anyway.

all of this signifies a person who is damaged. she's in survival mode all the time, and it prevents her from forming connections with people. and Terezi sees this. Vriska's connection to Tavros is unhealthy, not just because Tavros is being bullied, but because Vriska isn't moving on. she's still all wrapped up in the idealized superiority of power, and won't admit that she even needs anyone or anything, even though she's genuinely not okay with losing so many of her friends over the Scourge/Charge debacle. so many of them consider this a step too far, but Vriska has genuine trouble discerning what the difference is between this, and her whole lifetime's worth of behavior. this is what she's had to do, and they're all more horrified at her, than they are at the things that made it necessary for her to turn out this way. and they don't have any solutions either. none of her friends can say "oh, well you should've handled it this way. then we could accept you" because the morally responsible thing to do would've been to die. Vriska not existing could've technically saved a lot of lives... if Vriska isn't proud of her strength, she might have to actually start feeling guilty for what she's done. and if Vriska felt a level of guilt that others think is appropriate for what she's done, she'd basically be ruined. people consider her unsalvageable, and she knows they see her that way. it breeds mistrust, and leads to her making all her decisions on her own, without asking anyone's advice or permission. they won't forgive her for even being alive, so screw them anyway. it drives a deeper wedge.

and Terezi is the one who actually understands all of this. she gets it... she was there. but she also knows that it would be healthier for Vriska to admit that she doesn't have to, or want to, live that way anymore. pride be damned, the things they did were awful, and their behavior should change. Terezi always had less riding on her adherence to these standards, so she was able to discard them easier. and now that she's on the other side of it, she knows that the longer you spend acting like that, the more the shame stacks up in hindsight. Vriska is digging herself a hole, and it's painful to watch, because Vriska is still basically Terezi's best friend. it's a hard position... if Vriska is never held accountable for anything, and never suffers consequences, then she may never change. but Terezi also irrationally wants to forgive her. because Terezi also wants to forgive herself. she doesn't want to believe that either of them are irredeemable, but when she kills Vriska, it seems as though they both were. it feels like they were both ruined. from the very beginning, as kids growing up in a fucked up environment, they never stood a chance. it's why they needed each other.

I just really wish post canon could focus on these two healing. they're both so well written, and so complex and interesting... and I was even really liking the hints of John and Terezi picking on each other. let Terezi have low stakes contention with someone! shenanigans that don't result in death would be good for both her and Vriska tbh. and it'd be so funny cuz like, Vriska is fond of John, and Terezi is so peeved by him. I think Vriska really started healing by knowing John, cuz as a human, she has a blank slate with him, and he couldn't have been raised ruthless, even if he would've been adept at being that way. to Vriska, John is an alien and doesn't work on the same scale as her. it leaves the point of survivability pretty moot, so Vriska isn't viewing everything in terms of that with him. and it's nice. she has fun. she gets to feel like a kid in a way that she never got to, because everything really is so simple. what I wouldn't give for the three of them to be able to pal around on earth C, that'd be so interesting!

(I’m not gonna add anything bc this is just, so good)

[300iqprower]

Continued from last ask, imagine being in a relationship with someone and you have a twin who is friends with your bf/gf and the gf thinks they're going out with your twin because they like the twin, not you. I normally don't get mean but damn. I need fate writers to never write ships or couples ever again. The only good ship in this entire series is Ryouma x Oryou because somehow they wrote the Ryouma and his dragon wife as a realistic couple better than any other couple/"couple" in the game.

to respond to both this and the last one the Medb x Skadi thing is a mess but not for those reasons. It's only played the first time in Sparrow Inn as a "Medb can't tell the difference between them" and ever since it's been a reoccurring thing. The issue is they dont develop the relationship at all and just make the same """"""self-aware joke"""""" every time of "Skadi is Scathach despite having zero connection to her and acting like the opposite in fact!"

it pretty clearly started as a "all the celtic servants are bi and horny" thing (because Fate considers the celtic people the "savages" in contrast to a "chivalrous" britian. Because yay teaboo imperalism) but they also didnt want to commit since Medb and NotSkadi have to treat Guda as their love interest bc waifu, obviously. So what you're left with is a tone deaf "self dig" at an objectively lazy and horribly written character (and yet it's also consistently a better written version of NotSkadi than in her own lostbelt...) combined with a ship that exists for the sake of it and does not progress in any meaningful way.

The need for waifuism is why the only well written couples in FGO are those who are on a conceptual level connected to their loved one. Ryouma and Oryou, Sigurd and Brynhildr, Yu and Xiang Yu, stuff like that where it's inextricable. Servants who have a canonical love interest but said love interest is not in game almost universally get rewritten or have some excuse to turn Guda into their love interest (gestures to every Yandere fauxzerker). I think Tomoe is like, the only exception, at least off the top of my head. I definitely dont count the mommy shit like what they do with Boudica and Qin Liangyu because it's very obviously just a way of making it a kink thing that isn't TECHNICALLY direct romance. And then you have Bradamante whose every other line reads like NTR wish fulfillment.

Oh wait did I say servants who have a canonical love interest? I meant JUST FEMALE ONES, duh. Gil and Enkidu have their totally not gay disasters relationship, Fionn is allowed to openly adore his wife post Sparrow Inn, etc.

But this hasn't stopped them from introducing a ton of obvious ship teasing only to drop it like a bag of rocks the moment it reaches a point where they'd have to commit, and actually develop the characters, and make them not unequivocally gushing over Guda. Salter and Jalter, Musahsi and Weebat, Scheherazade and Nitocris, Mordred and Fran, the list goes on, and on, and on, of ships tocuhed on just enough to act as a short distraction before being dropped or repeatedly trodded out just to tread the exact same ground for fear of actual depth, which is exactly what Medb and Skadi's has been like so far.

[francesderwent]

speaking as someone who hated Steve in season one, shipped Jonathan and Nancy in season one and two, and now full-heartedly ships Steve and Nancy, I always hated how Nancy and Jonathan get together in season two. I (obviously) hate the Murray of it all, because no story which viewers have been led to care about deserves to have its decisive climactic moment hijacked by a balding conspiracy theorist who (wrongly) considers himself an expert in human behavior. but even setting aside Murray (as much as it's possible to do so when he's inextricable to how everything plays out), I thought the scene did such a disservice to the Jonathan/Nancy relationship as it was set up. even once I didn't ship them anymore, that scene just seemed like bad, out-of-character writing. but I think I found a way to fit the scene into the larger story.

Jonathan Byers & Restraint

this isn't groundbreaking (I'm probably subconsciously stealing from a thousand Maria metas), but what made Jonathan and Nancy stand out in season one is romantic restraint. while Steve is climbing in Nancy's bedroom window and trying to unbutton her shirt and sleeping with her all by the end of the second episode, Jonathan and Nancy talk to one another, awkwardly, stiltedly. if I remember right, they don't touch, at all. Nancy is trying to connect with him, and Jonathan isn't opposed, but they're both very cautious, and the connection is difficult and uncomfortable. Jonathan's bizarre choice to take her photo while she's half naked and he's hiding in the woods is symptomatic of how he feels about her at this point: he sees her only at a distance, and sees that she's beautiful at the same time as he sees that she's not for him. in the photograph, he tries to capture what little of her he can have for himself. this stupid, grasping choice ends up hurting both of them.

so as we start episode three and really start to move into the center of the story, both Steve and Jonathan have crossed a boundary. Nancy and Steve aren't able to admit (yet) that what they did poses a problem. they're still close, but their closeness is actually an obstacle to their communication. Steve can't see what's going on with Nancy because he's caught up in his starry-eyed triumph that he doesn't have to pretend not to care anymore because he finally won her and she's finally his! and Nancy can't connect with Steve because in order to be honest with him she would have to admit that he hurt her, and she doesn't want him to know that. their closeness is a lie which prevents any other truth from being told, and as season one moves forward, the lie becomes more and more obviously a lie. Nancy lashes out at Steve for worrying about his father when Barb is missing. she kisses him when he comes to check on her, but lies about the baseball bat and what her plan is. Steve's supposed love for her can't survive seeing her with Jonathan, and he stands by while his friends ruin her reputation. he doesn't trust her enough to believe her when she tells him nothing happened. I'm just hammering the same point here, but they are literally too close to see clearly.

against this backdrop, Nancy's relationship with Jonathan appears starkly different. the revelation of Jonathan's transgression pushes him and Nancy further apart, forces them to take a hard look at themselves and a clearer look at each other. they see all the differences between them. they see the way the other person doesn't perfectly understand them. and they see all that because they can see clearly that Jonathan's crossing of that boundary was wrong. but because they share similar goals and want to work together, they have to stay conscious of all those boundaries, they have to be even more careful and respectful of them moving forward. if the defining moment of Steve and Nancy's relationship is falling into bed together without ever discussing what it means (and I think, for better or worse, it is), the defining moment of Jonathan and Nancy's relationship is him lying on the other side of the bed from her without crossing the line. and he is able to be a comfort to her because he doesn't cross that line! after the photograph almost ruins everything, the restraint is present in every interaction between them: the way Nancy holds ice on his face at the police station, the way she bandages his hand, the way he accepts her Christmas gift. I was really struck, this rewatch, by the image of them setting the bear trap together: they're moving in sync with each other, backing away slowly, carefully, because they know to move quickly or carelessly could be disastrous. that's their relationship in a nutshell. and that's what made their relationship so compelling.

now, both of these dynamics are still visible in the beginning of season two: Steve and Nancy are officially a couple, but they’re understanding one another less than ever: he doesn't understand why she feels they have to continue having dinner with Barb's parents, she doesn't understand how he could want to go to a Halloween party; she tells him everything about their carefully reconstructed lives is bullshit, he is absolutely shell-shocked because he thought it was real. Jonathan and Nancy are walking a thin tightrope: Jonathan takes her home from the party, puts her to bed and takes off her shoes, he tries to assure her that Steve still cares about her, they both quickly request separate beds at the hotel. but once Murray interferes, they fall off the tightrope and they fall off hard.

when the restraint breaks, all their careful intentional distance overwhelmed by exploding desire and tension, it's not just a kiss. it's a kiss that immediately becomes sex. they haven't said a word to each other about what this means or what they feel for each other. they've both been drinking. Nancy hasn't broken up with Steve. it's a betrayal of everything their relationship has been up until this point, and it's a letdown, because it doesn't feel like the Jonathan and Nancy we've been watching and rooting for for two seasons. it feels like the end to a different story, not this one.

and unlike the photograph which crossed a boundary and then had to be dealt with, for the rest of season two at least, there are no consequences. Nancy and Jonathan are just...together, after this. Steve gracefully bows out; he doesn't accuse Nancy, he doesn't even make her tell him what she did, he takes all the blame on himself. this makes Steve look really good, really mature and unselfish, but it's dishonest in a way that season one wasn't dishonest. season one was brutally honest about the fallout of Steve and Nancy having sex, and it was beautifully honest about what Jonathan and Nancy had to do to build a relationship on a different foundation. now Jonathan and Nancy kick off their romantic relationship on that exact same foundation as she and Steve did in season one episode two - we've had some sexual tension, we had sex, now we're a couple - and this time, for no reason, everything's fine.

if you assume that Jonathan and Nancy are endgame, it's a ridiculous squandering of one of the best-drawn relationships in the story. all their narrative potential is lost, wasted. in season three, Jonathan and Nancy bicker annoyingly and to little purpose; the majority of their arc is already behind them and the writers appear to be at loose ends, creating thin conflict for no reason.

where it starts to get really interesting is when you stop assuming that Jonathan and Nancy are endgame.

Nancy Wheeler & Illusions

so far I've been prioritizing Jonathan’s perspective: his making amends for the photograph and learning how to care about Nancy respectfully. it's through this lens that the sex scene in season two is out of place. but if you focus in on Nancy, the defining factor in the love triangle for the first two seasons isn't restraint. it's reality.

I've written about this before, but Nancy's arc in season one is about the shattering of all her illusions. she already had her doubts about her parents' marriage, but she was still playing the game, still trying to get good grades, still trying to seem like a good girl in front of her parents, still trying to seem cool in front of Steve and his popular friends. and one of the illusions that shatters most painfully for Nancy is her romantic illusions around sex. she bought into the lie that if she would just sleep with the cute guy she has a crush on, she would feel close to him and he'd love her. after episode two, she learns intimately that this isn't true. Steve tells her she’s beautiful, he doesn’t tell her he loves her. he falls asleep and she has to get dressed and walk home on her own, with no words of reassurance. she stands on the stair in Steve's sweatshirt and tells her mother coldly that Steve isn't her boyfriend and nothing happened, because at that point Steve isn't her boyfriend and she has to go to school the next day and act like nothing happened. he walks up to her locker and kisses her, but tells her only, “I had a good time.” we can see this tearing her apart before she ever starts to suspect anything has happened to Barb.

and so she starts to see through the falseness and thinness of what she used to think was important - because of Barb's death, because she discovers the upside down, and because of Jonathan. she tells him the story of her parents and their loveless decision to buy a house and start their nuclear family, and Jonathan answers, “screw that.” Jonathan is the one who gives her permission to reject everything she put her faith in. at last, someone is admitting out loud that trying to fit herself into these boxes is hurting her! at last, someone isn’t afraid to exist outside of the norms that are destroying her. it’s a relief, not having to pretend anymore.  

fast-forward to season two: Murray (ugh) says that Nancy doesn’t love Steve, that she’s afraid of who she really is, that she has chemistry, history, and shared trauma with Jonathan, and that therefore they should cut the bullshit and share the bed. notice: he doesn’t say Nancy loves Jonathan and should be with him. they’re just young and attractive and they have chemistry, so they should sleep together. there’s no pretty façade over it. and this is what Nancy has in common with Jonathan, that they don’t buy into the bullshit. and so here’s my hypothesis: Nancy walks out of her bedroom to find Jonathan because she can sleep with him without any illusions. maybe this time sex can mean whatever she wants it to. maybe this time she won’t have to twist herself into knots pretending like it brought the closeness she thought it would.

the reason this scene doesn’t feel like a satisfactory end to a romance arc is it isn’t the end to a romance arc. it’s the natural continuation of Nancy’s arc in season one, admitting, once and for all, that the pretty illusion doesn’t satisfy, that she doesn’t fit into that picture and she’s never going to. what she mutters to herself alone in her room, right before she goes to find Jonathan, is “I’m not afraid.” she doesn’t choose Jonathan because they love each other and they’re going to be together forever—because they don’t say they love each other, and they don’t talk about their future. she chooses Jonathan because he’s on the outside, just like she is, and she’s not afraid anymore to admit that she’s just like him.

through this lens, their fighting in season three isn’t the contrived conflict of a couple who got together too early and have to find something to do in the sequel. their fighting is exactly the same as Nancy and Steve’s fighting in season two. they’re too close to see each other clearly, and they can’t admit it. she wakes up in his bed, how can he not understand her? he lets her see him for who he is, how can she not recognize his pain? their lack of restraint does hurt them, just like it hurt Nancy and Steve, and knowing that the romantic magic of sex is an illusion doesn’t exempt them from that hurt. it doesn’t bring them into perfect closeness and unity, but it does bring them close enough to feel all their inequalities and disagreements without the objectivity of distance. their priorities are different; their plans don’t align. how could it be any other way, when they never talk about those things? at the end of the season, Jonathan moves to California, and when Nancy tells him she wants him to stay, he says only that everything will be okay because they have shared trauma—he doesn’t say that he’ll come back, he doesn’t say that she should join him, he doesn’t even make plans for Thanksgiving like Mike and El do. they have a bond that makes him moving away painful—but they can’t figure out what to do about it.

so Nancy and Jonathan sleeping together isn’t the end of their romantic storyline. it’s just a stepping stone in Nancy’s journey with disillusionment. Nancy tried using sex to get her happy ending with Steve, and it didn’t work. then she stopped believing in happy endings and clung to Jonathan who also didn’t believe in them, and that didn’t preserve her from disappointment either. what is all of this leading us toward?

Steve Harrington & the Love Confession

ahem.

Steve starts out as the epitome of everything that Jonathan and Nancy are growing beyond: popular, shallow, charming Steve Harrington who takes sweet Nancy Wheeler to bed. but in every season Steve proves himself again and again to be someone to rely upon—he comes back to fight the demogorgon after Nancy tells him to leave, he protects the kids from demodogs and evil brothers, he swoops in for the big rescue when Nancy’s about to die. and again and again, he receives no reward at all. he doesn’t get the girl (Nancy). he doesn’t get a different girl (Robin). he doesn’t even get an apology Christmas gift or to be Nancy’s friend, like Jonathan did. the only thing he walks away with, every time, is growth. he is a bigger person than when he set out, he’s more of a man.

in season two, he lets Nancy go with his insanely generous “it’s okay, Nance,” and submits to loving her without possessing her, watching her from his car outside the dance and then driving away. in other words, he learns restraint. in season three, he stops caring so much about his image: “Tommy H. would’ve made fun of me, or I wouldn’t be prom king. that’s stupid, Dustin’s right, it’s all bullshit.” he sees through the illusion and rejects what isn’t important. (and we know he’s learned restraint, how to love without grasping, because of the way he handles Robin’s rejection.) he’s a little slow—learning the lessons that Jonathan and Nancy do a season late and usually when no one is watching. but when he and Nancy are finally thrown together again, he’s different. he’s grown, and his love for her has grown, too. we know that, because when he jumps into the upside down and Nancy follows, and Eddie steps into Murray’s shoes and helpfully points out that something is afoot, Steve doesn’t react like Nancy and Jonathan did.

remember what Murray told Nancy and Jonathan: you have chemistry, history, and shared trauma, you should stop pretending and share the bed. what does Eddie tell Steve? that Nancy reacted to him being in danger by immediately, without a second thought, placing herself in danger next to him, to save him, and that it was “as unambiguous a sign of true love” as his cynical eyes had ever seen. already, there’s a huge difference. Eddie isn’t commenting on their sexual tension (of which there is plenty, Eddie had to stand and watch as Nancy ripped up her clothes to make bandages to tie around Steve’s midriff while they make eye contact). Eddie says he doesn’t know anything about their history. what he does know is what he just saw Nancy do. it’s not a connection, chemical or emotional. it’s love, love understood as an action, a choice. and he tells Steve: “if I were you, I would get her back.”

and Steve doesn’t wait until the first opportune moment to pull Nancy into his arms and give into his desires that he’s been so carefully holding in check for years. no, Steve does something very different. Steve tells Nancy exactly what he pictures his future as, and tells her that he wants her to be in it, that actually she is the most important part of his life. Steve makes a confession of love. and it stands out because when you think about it, there are actually very few love confessions in the show! no other couple says so clearly: “this is what you mean to me, this is what I feel for you, and this is what I want our life together to be.” Steve and Nancy and Jonathan and Nancy both sleep together and then slide into a relationship via the path of least resistance. Joyce and Hopper talk about a date, but don’t say “love” or talk about what this would mean for their families. Mike blurts to Max that he loves Eleven and Eleven happens to overhear it. Steve gives a wonderful confession to Robin about what he likes about her, but really doesn’t know her well enough to propose any kind of future. actually, the only character who comes close to Steve’s season four speech is Bob Newby, who tells Joyce that he loves her, loves her whole family that comes with her, and that he wants them to move to Maine together and be a normal family. but even Bob’s love confession is qualified by his not really knowing what’s going on with Joyce and her family, being kept slightly in the dark.

Steve is not in the dark when he confesses his love to Nancy—or rather, he’s in the midst of the darkest dark, standing in the depths of everything that terrifies Nancy and everything that made her stop believing in love, and he tells her anyway, because he knows all of that and he loves her anyway. they’re not too close to see each other clearly; he’s offering his love and his hopes to her so that she can look at them objectively and make her choice. and what he offers breaks open all the illusions that hurt her so badly. unlike the first time they got together, he’s all-in, telling her how he feels without asking anything of her physical first. unlike with her and Jonathan, he knows what he wants his future to be and is telling it to her clearly. unlike her parents, he’s offering her not security and normalcy, but a relationship motivated first and foremost by love.

the story isn’t just circling back to Steve because the will-they won’t-they with Jonathan has been played out. the story is circling back to Steve because he’s the only one who has all the pieces of the puzzle. he has the romantic restraint that Jonathan abandoned when Murray repackaged it as trust issues. he has the clear sight to see through the false images Nancy rejected. and when you put those things together—and put them together in a man who has been in love with the same woman for years—you get a love which wants to prioritize the good of the other, and is in touch with reality enough to protect the other effectively. and that’s where you get the love confession: it’s a way of stripping away all of the assumptions and illusions so all that’s left is the truth, but without using the truth to impose. Steve can offer Nancy absolutely everything, without crossing a line, without making it impossible for her to see what she wants. he can offer her everything—and if she says yes, he can give it to her.