#because there wasn't enough space
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at New York rn
I am struck by how stacked on top of each other everything is
#not just like the skyscrapers#I mean everything#went to an itty bitty pizza place and they had a second floor to fit the seating#because there wasn't enough space#and all the ads in times square#ect ect#just feels so willy nilly#txt post#text#travel#new york#text post#times square
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I'm in many leftist spaces and I've seen many goyim in these spaces complaining about how often jews talk about leftist antisemitism.
The thing is that this is the consequence of claiming to be advocates or in support of another group of people - when you ostensibly prove you aren't for us, we're going to be harsher than we are to people who never pretended in the first place.
For an analogy, here's a similar situation: I am harsher toward "pro-trans" people who are transphobic than I am to people who are not. This is because the pro-trans person told me they were better than that. I am already aware that the anti-trans person is going to be anti-trans. Their anti-transness is self-evident. What isn't self-evident is a person who claims to be pro-trans and then proves otherwise.
This post is addressed toward leftist spaces because I occupy these spaces the most. It makes me wonder just how safe I am in these spaces when leftist begrudgingly acknowledge that this conversation keeps happening. I feel like a lot of leftists treat those of us who open these conversations like we're an "I left the left" rightist when... Most of us are still in leftist spaces. We have not left the left and through pretending we have, you absolve yourself the feeling of responsibility.
#jumblr#jewish politics#leftist antisemitism#personal thoughts tag#and personally... if i wasn't a leftist i wouldn't bother talking about the antisemetism in these spaces. because i wouldn't care.#and i wouldn't care this much because i wouldn't be a leftist#i've been hesitant to make this post but i think about this a lot. because i care about what many leftists claim to fight for#i need to make it clear that i have never left the left. so i will continue to be harsh to it#look maybe it's the autism or whatever but i am more inclined to criticize and critique things i actually CARE about#if i don't criticize something that means i don't think it's worthy enough to think about deeply#that's why i could criticize america from sun up to sun down and still not be done ranting#and that's because i care enough about this place to actually form opinions about it. i have emotional investment in it. same with the left
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I love libraries.
I'm browsing the WWI shelves (as you do) and notice a very old book about the war. I glance at the first pages that talk about how one day the war will be over and we'll look at this place and not see any signs of the battlefield.
Then it hits me. And I check the publishing date.
This book was printed before the war's end. Not written. Printed. The physical object was created in 1918, while the war in question was raging and the end was as yet uncertain.
Now I'm standing on the other side of the apocalypse, with this physical link to that era in my hands. I'm living proof that the war did end and life did go on and we can all look at the end of the world as a long-ago memory.
Reading old books is cool enough, connecting our minds and hearts through the ideas of people who lived long ago, but there's something extra profound about holding a copy of the book that comes from the time that it was written. It's a physical link between the past and the present connecting me to those long-ago people. A piece of the past come into the future that gives me the chance to almost take the hand of some long-ago reader, to hold something they could have held, connecting not just mentally but physically to their era, a moment of connection across more than a century.
Excuse me while I go weep.
#books#history is awesome#of course i checked it out#i had no real intent to read wwi non-fic but i couldn't just leave my new friend there it'd be lonely#i want to break out in tears every time i look at it#it's so stupid but sometimes something stupid just kicks you straight in the heart and you just gotta deal#it's old front line by john masefield#i know nothing about it except thinking the author's name sounded vaguely familiar#also the interior design is fantastic#these old books know how to use white space and make something super readable#if you must know i was in the wwi section because i was at the history museum the other day#and saw a local author had a book of wwi letters#thought i'd see if the library had it#looked at the selection of non-fic surrounding it and thought of the wwi persuasion#saw many books that could be useful#and thought 'oh no this looks like fun'#it won't go anywhere i know i won't be able to focus long enough to do real research#but darn if it wasn't an appealing little daydream
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Morning on the path to Liyue Harbor - A study with original additions
#genshin fanart#genshin impact#genshin impact fanart#genshin#genshin statue with offerings#genshin zhongli#zhongli#liyue harbor#genshin liyue#I was thinking about what to put as garland on the statue#I ended up going for a very hmm chinese wedding look#i wish i could think of something that is not that#but like i did not hate the look#the rocks were so much fun to color#the whole project started because I was thinking about how funny it is that zhongli getting soap from the people#there wasn't actually enough space for this piece for me to draw more objects#i want all of the different statue to have different looks and colors#I am trying not to draw the statues all at sunset because how pretty the colors are then
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i really do miss DJing regularly and the amount of time i spent at the record shop i worked at and my amazing coworkers who have such impressive taste and depth of knowledge and if it were financially sustainable there's a part of me that would have been entirely happy just working at the main shop and at the bar and getting to share good music with folks
#it was really nice to have supplemental income even though it wasn't enough to really live on but i am so happy i'll be back to visit in#march because (not to sound embarrassingly hokey but) it really feels like a major part of me is missing#i love the shop and the bar and the people i got to know in both spaces and this winter has been extremely hard pretty much on my own up#in the wilds of VT and i'm so glad i'll get to see my friends#(on top of the fact that my roommate is getting married which is the real reason i'm going back out!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
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wish i knew what to do with this helpless frustration i feel every time i see people vilify the jedi for their way of life when the person doing the vilification doesn't even understand them properly. it's one thing to criticize and dislike them if you have an accurate picture of who they were and what they're trying to do vs. hating them because you straight up don't understand them at all 😭
#personal#this isn't vagueposting i'm just tired of seeing it every time i go in the tags or on youtube or on ao3#literally if you boil the jedi down to the essentials it's just#''these are psychic empath space wizards wandering around the galaxy trying to establish a higher quality of life for everyone''#a bunch of aragorns except anduril is a beaming blade of plasma#or gandalf with the ability to do backflips#the only hard rule they have is ''thou shalt not add misery to the world where you can remove it''#everything else is just interpretations on that theme#''they're cold and unfeeling and they HATED ANAKIN and BAN LOVE''#like WHERE in the WORLD are you getting this information#WHEREEEEE#SHOW ME YOUR SOURCESSSS#and don't say ''they ban attachments'' without understanding what that MEANS#ATTACHMENTS =/= LOVE#ATTACHMENTS ARE CHAINS THAT YOU USE TO DRAG OTHERS DOWN WITH YOU#YOU KNOW THE SAYING IF YOU LOVE SOMETHING YOU WILL LET IT GO? THAT'S IT. THAT'S ALL IT IS.#and where are u getting that they hated anakin do you think he'd be so torn up about betraying them all in ep 3#if he was surrounded by people who hated him for over a decade like mans was IN TEARS#HE LOVED AND WAS LOVED BY THEM IN TURN#IT JUST WASN'T ENOUGH TO SAVE THEM IN THE END BECAUSE#CRUCIALLY#HIS ATTACHMENT TO PADME DRAGGED HER AND THEM AND EVERYONE ELSE DOWN WITH HIM#stop stripping anakin of his agency he made a CHOICE#star wars is ALL ABOUT CHOICE. THE CHOICE TO FALL IN EP 3. AND THE CHOICE TO RISE AGAIN IN EP 6.#like cmon fellas..... fellas cmon........
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Marvel writer: Then Wade get involved with monsters! And–
Me:
#Who tf thought this was a good idea#by fuck sake ANY Deadpool fan liked that? I can't believe it#reveal yourself there's no way absolutely no way#“Wade joining monsters because of his face or whatever” I am going to steal your computer#I am going to call google docs and prevent you from using I am going personally install Microsoft of any eletronic you might have#Deadpool#why was this a thing#'sure let's put this torturer and cancer survivor along with monsters because he looked *like that* huh?#the only person that *might* had taken something valuable out of this was Wong and even so I have to admit it was like seeing someone#take the wrecks and try to fix it with the little time they had#and I might confess#it was good? But still it wasn't good *enough*#I do trust Alyssa work better than any recent writer by the simple fact that they like him. Like ALOT it is clear how much they like him as#a character and respect him. But I am not so sure they were interested in making a important arc of him and set space for a new and better#direction or just pretty much self indulge and fanservice their way out of it. Which I am going to be honest by the level of writing Wade#received I can respect *at least that* and their OC was compelling instead of *gesture vaguely of hot woman self insert of the week that#looks wearily similar to Syrin.#like– Just use Syrin it's the same arc ITS THE SAME ARC#Wade Wilson
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god made me for episodic tv
#dylanlila.mp3#i think it gives more space for things to happen off screen and contrary to the popular opinion#i LOVE when stuff happens off screen. because i think the state of being on tv is in itself always false#so to have an intrusion of reality even though manufactured is really special to me#like this wasn't important enough to be a performance and that makes it beautiful. and more important in my eyes#i am mainly discussing crime shows here it really shines through in those#because of course the serious detective story would be made public in some way. the private and the personal you get in small doses#i mean this is obviously influenced by the kind of art i was into as a kid in a broader sense so i guess my brain picked up#on those mechanisms
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.~
#not a vent just a journal entry (feel free to scroll past; there is no snz here and this is also not that interesting)#realizing now that i never thought of myself as#someone whose absence would register to others in any other way than just neutral/detached recognition?#phrasing this really badly and i am truly going to delete this later bc it is embarrassing LOL#i think when i was young and posting all this fic into questionable places (the f*rum) i was like#(@ an unfinished work of mine) no way anyone could be bothered by these cliffhangers 👍 they can just imagine the ending#even though i would frequently be bothered by other people's cliffhangers. that exact same principle just wouldn't apply to me in my head#and when i did not respond to people i was like.. i'm sure i wasn't really an important part of their lives so they won't mind it#if i stepped away?#i never really entertained the concept of people missing me or looking forward to my responses 😭 i never thought of myself as someone worth#missing... so when i disappeared it was always with little to no sense of guilt. i think even now i struggle with#seeing myself as someone that inhabits like a tangible enough space in other people's lives that my absence would be felt#(and i don't mean that in a morbid way. and i do recognize that it's quite hypocritical)#on the flipside of things i frequently miss people and look forward to their responses. and sometimes i wonder like#do they all know? do they all know that i miss them because they somehow understand this aspect of human nature better than i do?#or are they in the dark like i am? are these things assumed or are they only known when they are said... 😭#i am a little bit of a coward so i am not saying anything (also because can you even say this kind of thing to someone??#i would probably die of embarrassment) but#how strange it is to have someone suddenly inhabit a space in your life that is substantial enough that#when they're gone you feel that space open up and you miss them#the few times in my life people have conveyed that sentiment to me i remember feeling puzzled that my presence could have that kind of#weight to them. i think my problem is that i purposefully do not read between the lines if the conclusion is something favorable towards me#because i don't want to bank on something good that might or might not be true 😭 anyways this is way too long already. if you read this#then good morning or goodnight
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Ter stop talking over and making decisions for Dee challenge 2k24. Y'all ain't even friends at this point you're just the annoying coworker go away
#wandee goodday#wandee goodday the series#wandee goodday series#listen listen listen#i am glad that ter is starting to realize things about himself#i'm glad he's starting to embrace his feelings#howmstever he needs to do that in a way where he is able to give up some control#he cannot control dee's actions or responses#he needs to communicate with dee not make decisions for him#ter and dee do not mesh because dee is super competitive about silly little things#and he doesn't like being told what to do. he likes gentle nudging and he also likes his boundaries#yak still hasn't kissed him despite both of them knowing how bad yak wants to#ter extended their japan trip without talking to dee and then tried to kiss him not even knowing how dee feels about being kissed#dee hasn't had a chance to explain#and even before he had a chance to explain with yak#yak wasn't kissing him. yak was operating strictly off of body language and managed to not kiss dee#then he asked about it in a non-judgemental way and dee felt comfortable enough to tell him#and yak said got it boss. you know i want to kiss you but this is a boundary that we will not cross#until we are ready and willing to cross it together#yes yak has pushed a bit because he wants it but he always goes slow enough and gives dee enough space to back out before they kiss#which dee does#and he will back out until he doesn't#but that's the difference between ter and yak#dee was closed in and didn't have a lot of options to avoid the kiss if it hadn't been interrupted#i don't doubt dee would have managed to avoid it but ter blocked off a lot of opportunities to leave#yak leaves space for dee to leave if he wants to#ter is controlling and yak is freeing#and that is why dee was able to fall for yak after 8 years of pining for ter#he is free from the feelings that were controlling him#and now he can move on and be happy with someone who truly understands him
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💭💭💭this scene (girl in space episode 10 (spoilers))



#🫧🦑💬🫧#girl in space#i am relistening. because i am so normal#its okay to be alone but sometimes you need somebody else around#who can relate to you but who has enough distance from your life/experience to be able to say hey. this isn't true and it wasn't your fault#grrrrargrgrgrhrrghrhr the friendship EVERRR#characters that have complicated relationships with humanity o|-<
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the whole tiktok ban situation is super crunchy and I'm conflicted. Because on the one hand...it does feel startlingly close to a kind of censorship and I think the whole 'chinese government links' thing is pure scaremongering. But on the other hand I genuinely think that tiktok has accelerated the rate of enshittification of so, so many things. Like it has been a net harm in basically everything. Even the publishing industry is suffering now. As someone who wants to get novels published, the entire state of the publishing industry catering to tiktok and the quality of even bookbinding rapidly deteriorating in the past couple of years, I've been reconsidering and thinking about simply setting up a website/archive to self publish my work.
So...I don't know. It's not as if other social media sites (X, Facebook, etc.) haven't done harm, and it's not like huge media giants like Google haven't caused possibly irreparable damage to how things work now, but...I just distinctly remember a pre-tiktok, pre-covid world and things legitimately weren't as bad online then as they are now. Tiktok actually feels uniquely bad. The change happened so rapidly, too. At what point do we decide that a product causes enough visible harm that it needs to be removed? Because that's what tiktok is, at the end of the day. It's a product. We don't have the same clear measurement as we do with, say, lead paint on children's toys, but idk idk idk...
#i don't know what I'm trying to say here.#i'm yelling into the void#i know a lot of people are concerned about what this will do to grassroots political movements but...#forums still exist#and so do your local communities#i don't know that tiktok 'grassroots organization' does anything meaningful#the way that going to protests and organizing locally does#and we've actually seen in real time how easy it is for people to get radicalized via the way the tiktok algorithm feeds you information#it genuinely moves too fast for us to even process what's being thrown at us#idk I've never used it because i've never wanted to#but all the effects i see have been pure and complete harm to the way people act and think#but idk if that's just a boomer instinct or like...the fact that the only social media i ever use is tumblr lol#it's not like tumblr is any better re insular radicalized communities#but tiktok is like video twitter - the format just isn't long enough to have any meaningful interaction#at least on longerform sites you have space to write things out and think#you know?#current events#it's just so weird to me to see people panicking and acting like there wasn't a world before tiktok#like people weren't organizing and sharing their thoughts and starting small businesses#we can do that withOUT an app that is uniquely good at radicalizing people and accelerating late stage capitalistic consumption no?
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There's a thing that I've been wondering about
Or rather have you ever slept with the same bed as your friends? Feel free to elaborate, I'm just curious
#probably most people did#or at least i assume so#i did#many times#with at least three of my friends#mostly because there wasn't enough sleeping space for all of us#but still#joker out#tagging cuz ua know.l#they do be sharing a bunk on a daily basis
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It's rough out here right now, hope you're doing ok
Awwww, this is really sweet, and thank you, I'm doing okay, I hope you are as well!
#I have a lot of complicated feelings but most of them are fandom-reaction-related vs. liam himself#i'm in the camp of it's tragic to see someone die so young even if it wasn't surprising given what he was going thru (and for so long)#my heart goes out especially to his son and to maya and to the rest of his nearest and dearest as well#and to those who felt touched enough to come back to a space they'd long abandoned to feel that reconnection#but ALSO also there's some hypocrisy on multiple fronts that fills me with (more than likely misplaced) fury#i'm doing my damnedest to block that shit out because the rage is for reasons both big and small and i can read a room#against my better judgement i have lurked#and dear god#what i could put on my salty sideblog#it's not the time nor the place--the man in question had many faults but that level of pettiness wasn't one of them
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WTA 9 - 12 AS LYRICS FROM SONGS I HAVE SAVED [1 - 4] [5 - 8] [INSP]
MARIA SAKKARI [GRE] -> GAVE YOU EVERYTHING [THE INTERRUPTERS] JEĻENA OSTAPENKO [LAT] -> SO WHAT [P!NK] KAROLÍNA MUCHOVÁ [CZE] -> A BEGINNING SONG [THE DECEMBERISTS] DARIA KASATKINA [RUS] -> LIGHT MY LOVE [GRETA VAN FLEET]
#maria sakkari#jelena ostapenko#karolina muchova#daria kasatkina#wta tennis#penko's is a bit on the nose i will admit but i wanted to include the part of the chorus too#literally so what! she is a rock star! who gives a shit#also yes i did give karo my favorite song ever but in my defense it really does fit ok it does#i'm actually pretty pleased with all of these#i wanted maria's to include another verse line that i thought fit her really well but there wasn't space :(#and dasha's i was really proud of. i feel like verse chorus and hook all fit for different reasons#anyways. yeah#this is probably the last one i'm gonna do like this#i realize i sort of shot myself in the foot trying to do it with the rankings because it obviously is gonna change almost every week#and i can't keep up#and also i don't know all the players well enough outside of the top 12 or so to be able to do it accurately#that being said if you have a request for a player (with or without a song in mind) i could still give that a go!#cause thinking of these is really fun and i like the way most of them have come out#i will do atp players but fair warning i know way less about most of them lmfao#ALSO. yes i know these rankings are not official until monday. i don't care let me have this
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Chronicles that were written after her trial and a ballad, "The Lament of the Duchess of Gloucester," have elements of the truth about her case, but their portrayal of this social and perhaps political rebel tells us about the mores of the period. The true story of Eleanor and her trial is not easy to establish. No trial transcript remains, and the chronicle accounts are biased and appeared long after the trial. There are few references to her in the Patent Rolls, Close Rolls, and the Privy Council. Eleanor seems to have been a convenient target in the struggle between Duke Humphrey and Cardinal Beaufort for control over Henry VI. Humphrey was a popular figure, but his power was not as great as that of the Cardinal. Eleanor, along with members of his household, was accused of necromancy, witchcraft, sorcery, and treason. Eleanor's high-handed manner and obvious enjoyment of her elevated status brought condemnation from Londoners.
Barbara A. Hanawalt, “Portraits of Outlaws, Felons, and Rebels in Late Medieval England”, British Outlaws of Literature and History (McFarland 2011)
#i would go so far to say that eleanor's 'high-handed manner obvious enjoyment' aren't necessarily 'true' either#since our only sources for them are the same biased chronicles#(or historians going 'omg this letter addresses her in terms you'd address a duchess with! she must have demanded it the uppity bitch')#and it is quite common (even today) for a woman who enters into a social space that she was outsider to or deemed unworthy of#to be derided as flaunting her status and being a stuck up hypocrite for just being treated or behaving as part of this social space#it doesn't necessarily mean that eleanor wasn't high-handed and didn't enjoy being a duchess#(but behaving as one apart from this new social space results in condemnation for not knowing how to behave so they can't win)#it just means that we need to take these reports more sceptically and realise the obvious misogynist and classist untertones to them#i do think there's a problem with scholarship on eleanor because the standard article on her/her trial is the one by ralph griffiths#partly because it is so old (1960s) and his later discovery of her being moved to beaumaris castle and date of death isn't included#so you get people like hanawalt and euan rogers giving the now-debunked date of death in publications#but also because he is incredibly vitriolic and BEC about her#(as in he talks about her eating dinner with her 'habitual insufferable pride' which like... we don't know that)#(he also claims it was wholly inappropriate for her to be eating at the king's head because she wasn't high enough ranked#at a time when she is a duchess and married to the king's heir...)#so a lot of historians just assume (i think) he must be right on the money rather than realising he's not basing this on any real source#eleanor cobham#reputation and representation#historian: barbara a. hanawalt
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