#because that's just. how i live my life
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#the poll i just saw on parents being over 60 having like 40% no has blown my mind slightly#because i thought this was the over 20s website these days so like how young were your parents when they had you????#my mum was almost 39 so i have a somewhat skewed idea of what's typical#like what do you mean your mum didn't live a whole entire life before she had kids#polls
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fionna and cake drawings before and after watching the episodes so far. it’s nostalgic and somehow cathartic and poignant and relatable and—it just started
#i’m part of the demographic where i was a kid when adventure time started and now watching fionna and cake as an adult makes me emotional#because did they keep us in mind when writing fionna and her attitude towards life#the dissatisfaction#the hoping for something more#something more magical than this dreary life filled with working to live and living to work#it’s so reflective of how life feels for me and perhaps many of us#and also Simon’s episode was so sad but so well thought out#exploring his feelings after the events of the adventure time finale is something I’m glad we get to see#there were already so many layers to his character in AT but now it feels like we get to dive deeper#I also felt emotional hearing Rebecca Sugar singing and writing a song that encapsulates his feelings so well#😭 it’s been awhile seeing her work exist alongside these characters#and all of these emotions get stronger because I remember AT being the one to inspire me to be a storyboard artist#when I was younger I used to follow many of the board artists here in tumblr and would get so inspired by them#to create simple but powerful boards that can capture the feelings of characters so well#Rebecca Sugar’s songs for the AT characters inspired me so much too#I’m sorry this is long I’m just feeling so many things experiencing all of this again as an adult#my art#fanart#adventure time#fionna and cake#fionna the human#cake the cat#simon petrikov
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every single day. this whole past week. has been so so so so much
#literally last friday -> this friday#things have been HAPPENING EVERY SINGLE FUCKING DAY#on like. my first or second day of work#whenever i actually met my mentor#i went up to him and was like IM BORED FUCKING ENTERTAIN ME#because that's just. how i live my life#and now every time he sees me with my head in my Hands#stressed the Fuck Out#he asks me if im still bored because he's a little bitch#and when i tell him im stressed he goes at least ur not bored : ) fixed that problem#im taking a. break socially#and that's been nice#last weekend was a Lot#last friday and saturday and sunday i prob spent maybeee 16 hours at my house#i still haven't spent a lot of time here this week but#im feeling a little more human today#one of my problems is.#there is So Much that Happens around me in the background#that im just fucking oblivious to somehow#and then when i start to notice#it's too late things are in MOTION#except. i like being In Control#last weekend i sort of broke two people up .-.#technically technically technically. i was not the catalyst#someone else was#and then i went down to my friend's apartment and had a two hour long talk with him#and he was like 'i KNOW you have opinions on this. i know you. and i know you've been hiding them'#and i was like .-.-.-.-.-.-. because i've explicitly been told what two adults do is None of my business#and i told him that and he was like 'NO tell me.' so i did.#and now they're broken up
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OK correct me if I'm wrong, but I feel like the main 'yin/yang' parallel with Atsushi and Akutagawa is not something like 'this one is bad but secretly has a good side and this one is good but secretly has a bad side'.
I feel like it's more about 'who they are at their core vs who they choose to be'.
At his core Akutagawa is kind and at his core Atsushi is not. But despite this Atsushi tries every day to make the kinder choices and I love him so much for it. He has to work so hard to be good.
He wants to be a bitch SO bad I know he does but he tries his best to help people and be nice (sometimes he fails but that's OK <3)
Atsushi doesn't always WANT to help people, a lot of the time he's selfish and scared, but he does help people anyway. He keeps helping people over and over again. There's still some selfish motivation to it, and his initial motivation for helping people was because the headmaster told him that's all he was worth, but overall he does care about the people he helps and it weighs on him if he fails to save them. And of course, as the series goes on he starts helping people more because he can rather than because he feels like he needs to.
In Akutagawa's case, he's still capable of being kind but his environment led him into being someone who chooses to hurt people. But he's always been a protector at heart. In the start he was bad compared to Atsushi because he was choosing to hurt people and keep the cycle of abuse going. Just like how Atsushi developed in why he saved people, Akutagawa starts to get redeemed when he chooses to not just act on his rage. Not only does he start to spare people, but he speaks more kindly to them (apologising to Higuchi and telling Kyouka he's proud of her). It all culminates into the moment he chooses to help Atsushi and sacrifice himself for him, going back to his core value of being a protector. Even when he's finally revived, he keeps this role in his new position as Aya's Knight.
I kind of see the streaks of white in Akutagawa and the streaks of black in Atsushi not as their 'hidden sides' but as their fundamental selfs. That's who they are at their core, and their main colours (black for Akutagawa and white for Atsushi) are how they're presented to everyone else and how they try to have people see them as.
#I'm just spitballing half of this but these are also my genuine thoughts on these two and their yin/yang parallels#I'll never get over Akutagawa being a protector at heart and getting that side of him buried with rage from growing up in the PM and-#-Dazai's old teachings#also Atsushi being selfish at his core is very important to me. He's not a typical 'kind hearted' shonen protagonist. He's kind not because#-that's how he’s always been but because that's how he chooses to be#I think that kind of character is even more admirable to me#it also fits well with Dazai being his mentor. Since Dazai also doesn't have that initial desire to save people just out of kindness.#He saves people as a promise to his dead friend that wanted him to live a good life#in fact that actually fits with Jouno too#now that I think about it quite a few bsd characters fit into that 'not kind because they were born that way but because they chose to be'-#-archetype#hell yeah. That's kinda cool I like that#bsd analysis#Akutagawa#atsushi#akutagawa ryuunosuke#atsushi nakajima#sskk#shin soukoku#<- Not a ship post but adding this tag since I consider that their duo name too#bsd#bungou stray dogs#bungobble my post
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you open my Super Important Documents and its just pictures of charles xavier
#xmen#mcu#xmen movies#xmen first class#charles xavier#professor x#snap sketches#todays schedule has been ruined by my ever occurring need to practice drawing movie charles its horrendous#i started this sheet last night but then i kept adding to it and i keep wanting to add to it but i MUST stop myself#in an ideal world i get paid to draw charles xavier and erik lehnsherr but no i live in this baka society#sleepless charles WAS inspired by me starting this at 1AM and forcing myself to sleep at 4AM#and then here i am picking i up still later .... i need professional help i fear but i aint got time for that#NEVERTHELESS I THINK IT GOT IT NOW. I THINK IM OK. i think i know how i wanna go bout drawing him now ...#chat can i confess that like. .5% of the reason i barely draw FC charles i because of his hair#for some reason some demonic entity prevents me from drawing it easily i am in STRUGGLE CITY#the only thing that gets me is that whenever i draw him i can only think of the likes of a disney prince but man thems the strokes ig#i also drew a quick dark phoenix charles but i figured id just keep this first class oriented#anything else i want to say ? uh. hm. its funny i never do any of these sheets for erik#genuinely On My Life made One (1) sheet and was like 'no yeah i got it. i got it down'#literally not my fault his head is So Shaped and defined but anyways. this aint about him.#i mean it could be. i still wanna do a doodle page concentrated on drawing how his powers show#more specifically how do i wanna draw the glow cause i cant decide on it ... also i wanna draw the 'levels' ...#but thats for another time. for right now i should probably eat i havent eaten all day#bye bye !!!!!! here's to hoping i draw something thats not a doodle sheet one of these days
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they really put alicent in bridgerton blue on the reunion and genuinely expected me to think that she didn’t in fact march all the way to dragonstone to get wifed up? bfr
#I am only a girl living in a society#I make connections#she looks so pretty in blue though I want more#also you’re telling me that rhaenyra saw her walk in all cute looking to not completely crumble at the sight of her?#like my girl got all dolled up for you do something#rhaenyra IS a puppy dog when it comes to those bambi eyes shut up#Alicent was like you think you want her? I’m the love of your life you moron#and rhaenyra is like I KNOW#like she’s been trying to get the other woman to realize that very thing for the last 15+ years#and alicent’s all heartbroken like oh so you’re taking her to wife#and rhaenyra is like nO? WHAT?? all dumb and speechless cause jealous alicent was definitely not on her bingo card this year#whilst also having her own mental breakdown#because how on earth is she meant to explain this to her councel#or jace for that matter#that sure was goint to be a fun future conversation to have with her heir#but also Alicent just strutted into the room and started acting like a scorned wife?#which left rhaenyra feeling like the asshole parent who stopped paying for child support after the divorce#but also she never wanted a divorce in the first place?? and alicent doesn’t seem to get this?#like she’s already figuring out how to most efficiently empty daemon’s chambers for the woman to move in permanently#but alicent’s still yapping off about not having a place in court anymore and fleeing across the sea#and rhaenyra can’t help the bitter taste in her mouth as she states how that ship came in a little too late for them and it is messyyyy#hotd leaks#house of the dragon leaks#hotd spoilers#house of the dragon#house of the dragon spoilers#rhaenicent#alicent hightower#rhaenyra targaryen#bridgerton
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#very important to me <3
#madney#chimney han#maddie buckley#911 fox#911 abc#911edit#madneyedit#chimneyhanedit#maddiebuckleyedit#*911#*#911 spoilers#you can tell that i forgot how to do my coloring because oh lord that difference is NOTICEABLE#but hiii 911blr i haven't posted in like.. six-ish months so i'm here to ruin your days again <3#my computer was running like 2 fps just trying to load everything on ps. but i'm living through it no regrets i'm in this for life baby
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So I've said multipe times now (here and here) that thinking nmj is just so blinded by privilege he doesn't undertand that acting out of line gets people killed is, in my opinion, a misunderstanding of his character that ignores the part where he's, you know, actively dying the whole time and thinks that's a good thing. But that doesn't mean I don't think privilege plays no role at all in how he views the world.
Specifically, his view that death (at least premature or violent death) means something.
Death isn't always a tragedy to NMJ, but it is always meaningful. If you kill an evil dangerous person for your righteous cause, that death had meaning. There was evil in the world and now there is less of it. Similarly, if you die in the pursuit of your righteous cause, that death has meaning, because the sheer dedication you gave to it that you were willing to die for it will further that cause, and your bretheren will be invigorated by your sacrifice to fight even harder.
If a death isn't meaningful, that's an injustice and it is up to the living to give it meaning. That's what cuts so deep about his father's murder. There were no consequences, no changes, no meaning. Wen Ruohan was just going to get away with it! He fights and wins an entire war to make it mean something, to make it so that the unjust murder of Nie Mingjue's father is part of Wen Ruohan's downfall.
But this is a view he can only hold because he's the kind of person who's death will be meaningful. Most ordinary people's deaths are meaningless. Not ontologically, not inherently, but they are made meaningless because no one cares. For death to be meaningful you either have to be so powerful that anything you risk your life for will be impacted in some way. (Like, say, if you sacrifice a long life for immense martial power in a faustian bargain with a blade) Or if people with that kind of power care enough about you to do so for you. For most people, this isn't true. A starving street kid has no power to change the unfair world that put them there, even if they risk their life trying, and no one will do it for them once they die.
Nie Mingjue knows this in abstract, and of course rightfully believes it's wrong. But all that does is make it yet another righteous cause people should be willing to die for. Everyone's deaths should mean something, we'll make it so or die trying!
This is what the conflict between nieyao is about at its core. Because Jin Guangyao, fundamentally, cannot conceive of his own death as meaningful. Nie Mingjue grew up around powerful men who could change the world but refuse to do so because god forbid they risk a single hair on their perfect heads. Meng Yao, on the other hand, grew up in an environment where no one of importance would blink twice if you died. He was surrounded by meaningless death. Indeed his entire early life is defined by that lack of care.
Meng Shi dies and no one cares. Meng Yao gets thrown off a flight off stairs and no one cares. He has to be the one to do the caring, and once he's gone no one else will do it for him.
So he has to live.
Jin Guangyao eventually gets far enough that he actually does aquire the power to change some things... as long as he's alive. If he changes too much, holds on too tightly to his ideals, he'll die and it'll all be for nothing. He can't sacrifice himself for his goals because doing so would immediately render those goals unobtainable. No one will care about what he tried to do. He won't be a heroic sacrifice, he'll just be trash that finally cleaned itself up.
And well... Nie Mingjue dies, and someone makes it mean something. Makes it mean so much that the entire story of mdzs would not exist without it. Jin Guangyao dies and it doesn't mean anything. Most people are glad to be rid of him, and the few that are not don't do anything to change that.
#mdzs#mdzs meta#nie mingjue#jin guangyao#meng yao#nieyao#of course the inherent tragedy is that nmj is totally THE guy to ask if you want your death to mean something#nmj's reaction the the fact that most ppl's deaths are meaningless is to go: yes and I should change this.#If everyone thought like me this wouldn't happen anymore I simply need to get EVEN MORE HARDCORE about justice to MAKE them care#and this quality- which makes him the one person perhaps capable of making jgy's death mean something- also makes him a threat to his life#so jgy kills him because he needs to live. And then his beliefs about the meaninglessness of his own death are doomed to be true#what else was he supposed to do? just die and TRUST that someone would make it mean something?#like his mother trusted that his father would come back for them?#of course he can't do that.#just like how nmj's upbringing means that by the stairs he can't see how jgy- son of a sect leader and extremely capable-#is any different from the men who wrung their hands and told him that wen ruohan is just *too powerful* they can't do anything about him.#(*guy who killed wrh and wil go on to kill jgs voice* i just can't do anything about my dad being evil)#if jgy had agreed to risk his life and asked nmj to make it mean something if he died nmj would have said yes.#which is why he can't understand jgy wouldn't just ASK that.#jgy meanwhile has not been informed that was a fucking option and if he was wouldnt be able to trust that it'd actually happen.#for reasons outlined above#ahhh tragedy and inability of characters to understand each other i love you
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the mighty nein - critical role
this is a place where i don't feel alone. this is a place where i feel at home.
#also with softer vibes. i offer They#every silly little brainheart found family deserves a to build a home edit#the mighty nein maybe most of all. thats my family#also the lyrics deliciously well suited to m9.#when jester pulls that. stupid tarot card for fjord. home or traveler. and there's a carnival wagon. and veth says Thats Us! . them#i just think about . the tower is their home the xhorhouse is their home the lavish chateau is their home the balleater. the mistake.#the nein heroez. veth and yezas apartment. the dome. fjord and jesters living room floor.#a bar with a silly name on rumblecusp#also like. the song has stone and dust imagery. gardens and trees.#the inherent temporality of life and love and how that holds no bearing on how greatly people can love. im losin it okay.#ive been making this edit for days straight with my computer screaming at me for trying to shove 143 episodes of cr into a 2min20sec video.#crying becuase. theyre a family do you get it. they were nine lonely people and most of them had given up on seeing their own lives#as something that might be good. something that might make the world a better place. and in the end they're heroes.#and it doesn't matter if no one else knows because They know they're heroes. and they wouldn't've believed that was true when they met.#rattling the bars of my enclosure. to be loved is to be changed#posted on twitter and want to get in the habit of posting here too bc.#general reasons but also bc . i have noticed some of the ppl liking/sharing it are also ppl who shit on my ops by vaguing about my posts#which is in general whatever but does leave a funny taste in my mouth.#critical role#the mighty nein#cr2#caleb widogast#caduceus clay#jester lavorre#fjord#veth brenatto#yasha nydoorin#beauregard lionett#mollymauk tealeaf#my posts
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woag .. otp
#fma#royai#riza hawkeye#roy mustang#talking to user chrysopoeias reminded me of this doodle i posted on twitter ages ago#im too dumb to make analysis textposts with my opinions so you get (checks notes) royai experiencing post nut clarity#about how funny i think it is that riza bases all her self value into how useful she is or isn't being#while roy is like wow.. i love riza can't believe she still by my side after all i've done ..#in the hospital scene after the lust fight where roy is scolding her there's a part he says he's going to keep trusting her with his back#and she looks genuinely surprised as if she really expected him to just throw her out because she failed and lost her utility#when he's mostly angry because riza gave up on life so easily and he doesn't want her to die. he can't live in a world without her#riza babe ur so mentally ill <3
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Horseys! inspired by this banger of a post by @pinkravat-art
#tma#tma mlp au#the magnus archives#jonathan sims#martin blackwood#also inspired by my sibling rewatching some mlp episodes in the living room the other day#tma s5#magnuspod#tma jon#tma martin#jonathan#martin#jonmartin#gammijart#my tummy achy ;_;#id in alt#i do hope people understand i didnt just give jon a smoking cutie mark because he smokes#but because of how smoking/addiction/the web are fundamental in his arc and tmas narrative#and how cutie marks as signifiers of some kind of predestined endpoint/some plan for your life could be seen as Webby#signifying that even here he can't get away from something else having control over his life#but of course also. heh smoky pony
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something i like to think about sometimes is that. man. you could really create some kind of perfect storm with the combo of tim's post-infinite crisis fear of losing kon again + kon's intense, but generally passive, suicidality. guy who was so convinced he had to die a hero that when it happened he didn't even seem bothered by it (because he can't be traumatized by his own death if it was what he was literally made for, right?) x guy who has developed a whole new type of mental illness out of the survivor's guilt 100x combo. put them both through the wringer at the same time with one easy trick (make tim think kon will try to sacrifice himself for something) (and kon very well might!)
#rimi talks#i started to write a minor tag essay but it was so incoherent. thank you migraine i have no thoughts.#but like something something ptsd that rubs up against each other wrong. and having to learn to live and grow around it#kon having the realization that his life is worth more than what he could die for - that he doesn't have to be so sacrificial#vs tim struggling with the terror of being left behind again. of having to grieve again. of how it ate him up inside and made him--#--stop caring if he himself lived or died because so many of his loved ones already were dead#it's just tasty. it's fun.#...........#.......... wait a minute.#...........................................................................................................................................#did i already write this fic.#i think i already wrote this fic. where kon tries to kill himself again for heroism.#oh my god i already wrote this fic. okay. im. um#okay post canceled im going to bed. bye#timkon#tim#kon
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I haven’t really talked about Jimmy’s hallucinated version of Polle but I do subscribe to the idea that that is the closest thing to Anya’s true thoughts and feelings along with the representation of the hypothetical baby.
Text color, the whole horse attraction and monsters based on pregnancy/female anatomy, it joking about calling Jimmy old man? It’s both Jimmy purposely trying to ignore Anya and what he did but also not being able to cause he knows, in the back of his mind it all links back to her. But the closet thing he can accept about it is that it fostered something that would be undoubtedly linked to him.
It’s not exactly Anya and it’s not exactly the child. It’s his manifestation of all the things he would’ve failed doing for it and have already failed to take responsibility for. He failed as a decent person, a captain and he would’ve failed as a father which are all things Anya would subtly acknowledge throughout the game in little ways.
It specifically being Polle, the mascot to the Pony Express is more likely a call back to how the pony express is used to mean things that were never going to make it or were rearing for an end. It’s all symbolic and it’s all in Jimmy’s head because he refuses to acknowledge the real person and events his subconscious is basing it on.
#tdlr it is him acknowledging Anya and her genuine disdain for him and how he’d be a horrible father#it’s asking why he’s so concerned with fixing curly when he never fixed what he actually sowed in the first place#it’s her and it’s not cause he never knew her as a person and never saw the pregnancy as anything but a stain on his career and life#also how Polle talks to him is how Anya talks to him in my fic as I think she’s a funny lively and well spoken person normally#but also traily??? like I think she can tell you exactly what she’s thinking but she will go on and connect other things to it that aren’t#obvious just because she’s so aware of things which is also a nod to how good of a nurse she is cause u gotta be aware#mouthwashing game#nurse anya#anya mouthwashing#jimmy mouthwashing#polle mouthwashing#mouthwashing#like Anya gives you the explanation behind the answer before the answer like are we understanding
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vanha kauppahalli date but the dessert edition aka the more enjoyable edition if not because sasha has a sweet tooth so we can like these foods freely
sasha in the midst of eating merengue and almost choking to death because he thinks any comment out of maffhews mouth is funny maffhew sweetheart we have to think about the effect we have on the people around us for a single second here
#aleksander barkov#matthew tkachuk#florida panthers#2425#[insert my cake vs tart vs pie translations into eng rant here yes my eye twitched lets move on.]#im sorry has maffhew never had merengue in his life girl you live in soflo with so many hispanic bakeries#wdym you dont know how to eat merengue yeah if you use that much force its gonna cave in on itself 😭😭😭😭#(man who grew up in america) “never afraid of that [powdered sugar]”#man with texture issues likes the spongy cake and not the one thats texture hell because its airy and dry#and if youre not used to it feels weird. shocker!#as someone w texture issues if its a really bad day i cant even eat it either despite how much i like it yeah i get its a chalky texture#but girl we do have to take you on like a pastry soflo tour im so serious#runebergin torttu reigning superior yeah#kills me the way maffhew just repeats everything wrong and im like oh his ears are POPPED popped after that flight huh#my guy hows your auditorial processing just asking#“keep the flag” sasha hes sentimental don't encourage his trinket collection#“runebergin torttu” “roodoboo stars?” its like talking to my grandmother at this point its beautiful#the 1619 date is intricate huh boys
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Get in the fucking biograft, Shuriken. (EVANGELION/PHIGHTING!)
(og screenshot’s/cover under text!) Why hello there to my tumblr followers, it’s been a awhile /silly
ANYWAYS!!! Guess who recently finished the EVA franchise minus the rebuilds and has been in a horrible chokehold over it, this anime ruined my life but hey at least its intro theme is nice……
Well, I wanted to draw some stuff for it! All together these pieces took exactly 48 hours and 20 minutes… with the cover-piece taking ~35(?) of those hours. These were… very, VERY time costly safe to say LOL,,, I am super, SUPER proud of how the cover came out though, everything on it was drawn, colored, rendered, edited, whatever, BY HAND stroke by stroke (as you can see below)
The text, the lineart, the shadows, the colors, the snowflakes on the bio and Shuri, EVERYTHING was done by hand, it was horribly time costly but it did come out very, VERY well in the end I would say (fun fact! I also didn’t originally have the textless version of the cover, and I had to trace all of the lineart for bio’s tophalf by just guessing what line when where and what the hell was going on /silly)
this was a very, very hard project to do all together, but it was also a really nice learning experience too, I’m happy i did it that’s for sure :3!
(og screenies + cover)
#its. Done#ho. ly.#FUCK#its finally done#48 hours of work later and I’m FREEEEEEEE (lie) /silly#Eva has been rotting my brain into oblivion recently#I am oh so traumatized and mentally disturbed but man this anime does hold a very special place in my heart#And so does PHIGHTING! which is why this exists /silly#So! About this#This isn’t an au- not really at least. I don’t think I could live with myself if I made this a serious au#I love Eva with all my heart but I feel like it’s just a little too mature to combine with something like phighting LMAO#I don’t want to be the reason why some poor 12 year old finds out about EVA and then is subsequently traumatized for life because an#Artist they like combined the two /j#Okay seriously though yeah! This is really just a fun little “what if” situation- bascially of what characters would be who and how would a#Small bit of the world building work#Other then that I have been trying to avoid putting much thought into it#Credits to my friend Torch for getting me into this hell-show by the way /vsilly#art#artists on tumblr#phighting#digital art#phighting roblox#phighting fanart#phighting art#roblox phighting#phighting!#evangelion fanart#neon genesis evangelion#the end of evangelion#neon genesis fanart
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If you die,
I die.
But if I die,
eat properly,
get enough sleep.
Meet new people.
Live a happy life.
And when you think of me occasionally,
Remember that I will love you,
for eternity.
Via~ fluffy_floppy_friday (on Tiktok)
#jjk#gojo satoru#satosugu#geto suguru#jujutsu kaisen#sugusato#gego#this took me so long bc I was pasting the pic with tears in my eyes#MY ICLOUD#anyway yea I’ve just been feeling angsty about them#when am I not#I read this poem and I thought about how Suguru would have wanted satoru to live a happy life#but satoru denied it#the only person that could see him was dead#he really was satoru Gojo because he was the strongest when he died#he lowkey cursed him when he said that#anyway 😂😂😂😂😂😅😅😅😅🥹🥹🥹🥹😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#moving on
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