#because sometimes that is actually the thing that has to be done

[thebibliosphere]

so wait if my long covid & dysautonomia cause a lot of dizziness/vertigo then that would explain why i've apparently started clenching my jaw a lot since i got ill? why does no one ever tell us these things!!!

do you know if there's something that can be done about it or do i just tell my dentist it is what it is next time they complain about the jaw clenching?

(also thank you so much for talking about these things and sharing your knowledge and experience, you've taught me more about my chronic illnesses than all my doctors combined, seriously!)

Likely because they don’t know. The only reason I know is because I’ve been researching what the hell has been wrong with me my entire life and sometimes the specialists I see drop things into conversations like it’s common knowledge. They’re usually surprised when I tell them no, actually, most people even in their own field of medicine aren’t always aware of things like the jaw clenching or the pretzel sitting.

As for what can be done: I do multiple types of physical rehab to combat mine, including vestibular focused PT and PT for my TMJ to ease the pain and damage being done to the face muscles. They’ve been helpful for me.

Also getting the dysautonomia better controlled can help relieve the need to clench the jaw but I know that’s not an easy task depending on your severity.

Good luck on your continued health journey and hopeful recovery 💖

[saffusthings]

second chances

mob boss! lando norris x reader

part twenty-two: balancing act

word count: 3.5k (exactly!)

warning: talks of drugs, but nothing too detailed

twenty-one | twenty-two | twenty-three

Sometimes they met in the back booth at Brew’s after closing, nursing half-finished drinks and trading sticky notes. Other times, he’d sit sideways in the armchair of her modest flat, one ankle propped over his knee while she lay stomach-down on the floor with her laptop, highlighters scattered like confetti. She’d read aloud when his eyes got tired—he never told her why—and he’d quiz her with questions disguised as hypotheticals that she didn’t realize were lifted from memories he could never confess to.

Once, she asked him to explain the difference between theft, embezzlement, and larceny back to her and he did—flawlessly, too. She beamed like he’d handed her the moon. He didn’t know how to say that all he’d really done was memorize the way she said it. 

Word for word.

“So, you guys picking rings out yet, or–?”

“We were studying,” he told Logan flatly, shooting him a mildly-threatening glare.“It’s actually not all that bad, you know. ‘S the same as, like, strategy meetings n’ shit, basically.”

Logan actually choked on his Skittle, causing Oscar to seize the opportunity to smack him on the back, hard. When his ability to breathe finally returned to him, Logan couldn’t help but just blink at Lando, staring at him like the man had just told him unicorns were real. 

“Who are you, and what the hell have you done with our boss?”

One Thursday evening, he showed up early to pick her up from the café. The warm amber light of the lingering sunset painted the windows gold, and for a moment he didn’t go in. He just stood there, his breath fogging faintly against the glass as the autumn wind blew past.

There stood two distinct figures, their heads bent together, a shared laugh bubbling up between them. Margot said something and nudged the younger woman’s shoulder gently, looking positively mischievous, and Y/N swatted her with a dish towel, grinning wide and unguarded.

The bell above the café door chimed softly as Lando stepped inside. The air was thick with the scent of freshly ground coffee beans and the lingering warmth of the day’s baked goods, but what caught his attention wasn’t the smell—it was the sound of her laughter.

She stood near the counter, apron loosely tied around her waist, leaning slightly against it as she spoke with Margot. The elderly shopkeeper was wiping down the espresso machine, her lined face alight with amusement, eyes twinkling with mirth. Whatever they were talking about, it was easy, familiar. It wasn’t just that they spoke often—it was that they spoke easily.

He lingered by the door for a moment, blending in with the tilting shadows.

“—so I told him, ‘No, you don’t need more sugar, Sir. What you need is better taste buds,’” Margot was saying, shaking her head as she scrubbed at a stubborn coffee stain.

He watched Y/N let out a warm laugh. “Come on! You did not say that to a paying customer!”

Margot scoffed, looking far too smug for a woman her age. It suited her. “He was a regular! He deserved the truth. It must not have been too bad, because he ended up marrying me.”

The two of them continued chatting like this, warmth wrapped around their words like a familiar quilt. The conversation itself wasn’t remarkable, but it was the effortless affection between them that he noted. It was in the way Margot would roll her eyes but still refill her cup without being asked. In the way Y/N, without thinking, would place her hand over the sharp edge of the countertop whenever Margot rounded that corner all while still listening to her ridiculous stories. Small things. Unremarkable things. But things that made it clear—Margot wasn’t just her boss. She was family.

The realization was sharp in Lando’s chest, though he wasn’t sure why.

“This job certainly has its perks,” the younger woman teased, shooting her boss a look. “Y’know, like the free coffee, the day old pastries, the paycheck that helps me pay rent–”

“What, is my wonderful company not enough? You’re telling me now that I’ve got to pay you as well?” the elderly woman shook her head, tutting. “You drive a very hard bargain, I’m afraid.”

After a beat, both of them doubled over in laughter, washrags and spray bottles forgotten as they clutched their sides, matching smiles across their faces. When the laughter ebbed, and the familiar, comfortable quiet settled between them again, Y/N let out a small breath, feeling it deep in her chest. She wondered what kind of miracle she must have stumbled into, what cosmic favor she must have unknowingly earned to deserve someone like Margot in her life.

Without her, she couldn’t imagine a world as beautiful as this one.

What did I do to deserve someone like her?

Margot—the woman who saw a lost twenty-something at a bus stop and, with nothing more than a knowing look, handed her a job at the café. Who took her in, no questions asked. Who made her feel wanted when she didn’t even know how to want things for herself. Who fed her, who taught her, who gave her the chance to earn the place she now called home.

People searched for comfort in all sorts of things—music, books, vices they swore they could control. But Y/N had found the rarest kind: the kind that had arms to hold her, a voice that reassured, a steady presence that had never wavered. Someone who, no matter how lost she was, had seen her as someone worth finding. Who laughed with her, argued with her, knew exactly how she took her tea and made the best tomato soup every time she so much as sniffled.

Family looked different for everyone. Hers happened to come in the form of a woman with silver-threaded hair and worn hands, whose voice was equal parts warmth and wit, who smelled faintly of espresso and vanilla, like she had been stitched into the very fabric of the place she had built.

The old woman reached out, smoothing a stray hair from Y/N’s face the way only someone who had watched a child grow into an adult could. Lando recognized that touch—gentle, habitual, something people did when they cared without thinking about it. It was what he imagined maternal love might look like.

“Just promise me,” Margot said, still smiling but voice much softer now. “Don’t let the world turn you into someone who only works and worries.”

Y/N smiled, but it was small. Like a secret she didn’t want to share. “I promise.”

Lando shifted his weight, suddenly feeling like an intruder in a moment that wasn’t his to witness. The ease, the familiarity—Margot knew her in a way he didn’t, not yet.

For a moment, he imagined himself in Margot’s place, imagined being someone she could lean into so freely. Someone who could belong in the soft, easy parts of her world instead of just the stolen moments in between.

When she finally turned and saw him, her eyes lit up just a fraction. “Oh—Liam!” she greeted, straightening as she wiped her hands on her apron. “You’re early. Give me a sec, I’ll grab my stuff?”

Margot turned to him then, her gaze sweeping over him in the way older people did, as if they could see right through the exterior to whatever lay underneath. For a brief moment, he wondered what she thought of him, as if somehow her approval was suddenly important.

Lando gave her a slight nod, but Margot only hummed knowingly before turning back to her cleaning.

“Had some time to kill,” he lied, pushing off the doorframe. “You ready to go?”

She untied her apron and grabbed her bag, turning back to Margot. “I’ll see you tomorrow?”

Margot waved her off, practically pushing her out, her smile widening just slightly. "Go on, chérie, get out of here before I find you more to do."

 Lando held the door open as they stepped out into the cool Monte Carlo night, leaving Margot with a warm, knowing smile that lingered after they left.

The next evening, he pulled his phone from his pocket, thumb hovering over her contact before finally pressing the call button. Lando pressed his phone to his ear, staring at the half-emptied flask of whiskey in his other hand.

It rang twice before she picked up.

“Hey.”

Hey? Who says ‘hey’?

“Hey yourself,” she answered, her voice light, cheery. “What’s up?” He could hear faint street noise in the background. She was probably walking somewhere—home, maybe, or back from the bookstore she liked to stop by when she had time.

He exhaled, running a hand through his hair. “Listen, I’ve got to bail on tonight. Something… Something came up.”

A pause. 

“Oh.” She covered it well, but he still caught the shift in her tone. “Everything okay?”

Disappointment.

He frowned, swallowing down the strange feeling in his chest. 

What the fuck was that? Guilt?

“Yeah, just some—” He hesitated. He couldn’t exactly tell her what it was that came up. “—work shit. I’ll, uh, make it up to you, yeah?”

“You don’t have to,” she said, and she meant it. That was the worst part.

A long beat passed, and he sat there, listening to the faint sounds of her moving around wherever she was.

He was already running late—Andrea Stella was waiting, and quality control checks were non-negotiable. Noxium had to be flawless. It was the reason they were dominating the market, the reason his empire was continuing to grow.

But she didn’t know that ‘quality control’ in his world meant making sure no one in the supply chain had gotten any ideas about skimming. She didn’t know that if someone had, he’d have to handle it in a way she’d probably never be able to look at him the same again.

He wondered, idly, what would happen if she ever did know.

If she’d still look at him the same way.

If she’d still smile when she saw him.

If she’d still let him sit on her couch and pretend to study ethics with her, like a fucking hypocrite. If she knew that the man who brought her coffee and listened to her complain about professors, was the same man orchestrating the most sophisticated drug trade Monte Carlo had ever seen?

Would she still laugh with him? 

Would she still look at him with those open, unguarded eyes? 

Or would she finally see him for what he was?

He swallowed, pushing the thought away.

“Liam?” she asked. “You still there?”

He closed his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Yeah,” he said, forcing his voice steady and gripping the steering wheel a little tighter. “I’m here.”

“Alright,” she said finally. “Another time, then?”

“Yeah,” he murmured. “Another time.”

He hung up before he could say anything else.

The reality of where he was going sat heavy on his shoulders as he pocketed his phone. He wasn’t heading to a dinner reservation or a study session. He was heading to a warehouse on the edge of town, where Stella—chemist, strategist, and logistical mastermind—was waiting for him. 

He glanced at the dashboard as the car rolled through the dimly lit streets.

This pit in his stomach, heavy and acidic… it wasn’t guilt. It couldn’t be. He had no delusions about what he did or who he was. 

Lando Norris was The Reaper, as he always had been and always would be.

That night, he stood with Andrea Stella in a warehouse tucked into the industrial sector of the city, surrounded by crates packed full of Noxium—his latest chemical leverage over half the market. Andrea’s eyes seemed to crackle with that aura of obsession, clipboard in hand as he muttered numbers and purities and structural guarantees.

However, Lando’s mind wasn’t on the product.

It was on a girl sitting at her desk, probably click-clicking the end of her pen and drawing sketches in the margins of her readings instead of annotating them. He thought of how her brow furrowed when she didn’t understand something, how she’d say “Wait—okay, but what does that mean in real life?”

What would it mean in real life if she knew, if she found out Liam was a lie? If she found out that he wasn’t a guy who was just a little rough around the edges, or vaguely mysterious in the hot stranger sort of way. He was a criminal, a kingpin. A man who used chemists not for labs, but to manufacture control.

Eventually, the two made their way to a makeshift office where they took their seats at the long metal table, the Italian man in front of him rattling off various test results as he pointed out the relevant documents tacked on to his bulletin board, his tone eager. The scent of ethanol and industrial cleaner clung to the air, the stainless steel gleaming under the fluorescent lights.

Noticing his client’s apparent lack of interest in what he was saying, Andrea paused. “Forgive me for asking, Mr. Norris, but I had thought you were taking the night off?” he probed carefully, trying to see what information he might be able to exact from the renowned enigma that stood before him. It must have been something important to have stolen the attention of someone as stoic as Lando Norris.

Lando, on the other hand, looked entirely unamused. He had no patience for any of the mad scientist’s little games today. “Guess there was a change of plans.”

There was a finality in Lando’s tone that told the older man that perhaps it’d be wise not to push further. At least if he wanted to keep his hands, that is.

Andrea hummed, flipping a page. “Well, it is of course good that you are here. The latest batch had inconsistencies—minor, but worth fixing before it hits the market.”

Lando only half-listened, rubbing a hand over his jaw.

If she could see him now, would she look at him the same way? Would she still call him after a long day just because she didn’t want to be alone? Would she still light up when she saw him standing outside and waiting for her?

He swallowed the thought down and forced himself to focus on the reports in front of him.

As he drove home that night, the question lingered in the back of his mind, crawling beneath his skin, irritating and impossible to ignore.

What would happen to his life if she knew?

If she knew that Liam was just a name, a borrowed skin that he slipped into when he was around her. If she knew that the money he used to pay for dinner, for drinks, for the casual ease with which he moved through life—it wasn’t from an investment firm or a startup or some vague business deal.

If she knew that he didn’t just know men like the Reaper’s Circle—he was the man they spoke about in hushed voices.

Would she still have laughed so easily last night? Would she still have smiled at him?

Or would she have looked at him the way everyone else did?

Would she have looked at him like he was a monster?

It didn't matter anyways. 

She didn’t know, and she never would.

Her voice echoed in his mind, and what followed it was the sharp awareness that somehow, despite all odds, she’d become the one real thing in a life built on fiction. Lando Norris may not have realized it, may have evaded standing in the light of this truth like that of so many others, but the truth was that he could no longer afford to lose Y/N. 

Not when he was just starting to believe he still had some pieces worth saving.

Lando stood in front of the door, coffee cup in one hand and a pastry bag in the other, debating for a moment whether or not this was a terrible idea. 

Probably. Scratch that– definitely.

He'd never been great with the whole "apology" thing (not that he’d ever actually tried), but now it seemed like the socially acceptable thing to do.

The door opened as she stepped outside, eyes scanning the hallway until they landed on him.

She paused, blocking the doorway. "You canceled on me last night," she said, sounding cross in a way that had his heart stuttering momentarily, until he realized it was more teasing than scolding.

He grinned then, holding up a cup of coffee and a small paper bag lightly stained with the butter of the still fresh baked goods that it contained. "I know, I know. But… I come bearing gifts."

Her eyes flicked to the coffee and the logo on the cup.

That looks familiar.

"Is that from… Brews?" she asked, suspicion lacing her voice.

"...Maybe," he replied carefully.

"Liam. It literally has the logo on it."

"Definitely from Brews then."

She raised an eyebrow, clearly surprised when she noticed the drink he’d gotten her— a cardamom rose latte with a dash of cinnamon and just a pump of vanilla, chilled, not iced. He was even holding a bag with not one, but two of the pastry she always ordered on a whim whenever the mood struck: still warm from the oven almond croissants, complete with the little almond shavings and a dusting of powdered sugar. 

She took it without hesitation.

You do not get to be good-looking and also charming. That is so unfair!

“What was that?”

"Nothing! I mean, how did you—" She looked up at him, eyes still narrowed dubiously.

"Margot helped me out," he volunteered, trying to seem casual. His mind raced for a reasonable-sounding excuse. "She’s got a good memory."

She studied him for a moment longer, then sighed dramatically. "Hmm… I guess I have to forgive you then.”

“Mint,” he grinned.

“Just come in.”

As soon as she turned to head back inside, Lando pulled out his phone, flicking straight to his Notes app. He scrolled past a dozen other hastily typed entries—security codes, burner numbers, supply lists—and tapped out:

Brews: - Cardamon rose latte. with sinamon. + one vanila thing. Cold. But no ice. - Almond crossants. 2 of them? More?

The note joined an already ongoing list that had existed longer than he’d care to admit.

When he looked back up, she was already flopped onto the couch, pulling a blanket over her legs as she took another bite of her pastry. 

He followed her in, shutting the door behind him, feeling something loosen in his chest as he did.

There was always a weight on his shoulders, a second skin he carried whenever he stepped into the world as himself—as The Reaper, the strategist, the man who sat at tables where empires were built and destroyed.

But here—inside this apartment, in her presence—that weight fell away like an ill-fitting coat. He could be Liam here. Just Liam.

She settled back onto the couch, tucking her feet under her as she took a sip of the coffee.

I could get used to this. This is lovely.

“You get a free pass this time,” she said, still eyeing him over the rim of the cup, but the smile when she enjoys another satisfying sip is nothing short of radiant. 

It was strange—how easy it was to slip back into this, like shedding a skin. Like shaking off the remnants of who he was last night, the quiet footsteps in the warehouse, the cold efficiency of his work. Here, in the warmth of her apartment, with the distant hum of the dryer and the smell of cinnamon and coffee in the air, it was easier to just be... this. Whoever this was.

“You know,” she said after a beat, licking a crumb from her thumb before swallowing her bite, “next time you cancel on me, you’ll have to get something even nicer now. Ooh! Like one of those pastries from that one bakery in Nice.”

He scoffed, shaking his head. “What, I cancel on you one time and now you’re extortin’ me for desserts?”

She grinned – sweet, a little lopsided, showing just a bit of her teeth. One of her real smiles, he noted. “Hey, I don’t make the rules,” she shrugged innocently,

Lando leaned back in his chair, considering absentmindedly. He could buy her the whole damn bakery if she wanted. Probably wouldn’t be the weirdest thing he’s done. But… maybe he’d just stick to the pastry.

“Which one?” he called out as she got up and headed toward the kitchen in search of a napkin for the pondered sugar she’d managed to get practically everywhere.

Not my fault. Everyone knows powdered sugar has a mind of its own.

She glanced back at him over her shoulder, eyes amused. “Just because?”

Lando rolled his eyes, tapping his fingers against his knee and doing a great impression of someone indifferent. 

“F’course. No other reason.”

a/n: i feel like i've been working this one for far too long so idek know what it says anymore. hope it makes sense. if not i'll cry

[papercranesandpride]

Every so often you see some aroallo* on here saying that the aro and ace communities should be separate and I just. Have you never actually talked to an asexual? Have you never had a single conversation with one about your aspec identities?

Like, obviously there's the fact that so many people are aroace and so the two communities would still have a lot of overlap no matter what, but even if you're talking about people who are just asexual, we both say and feel the same exact things, just about romance instead of sex. Honestly sometimes it feels like I have more in common with alloaces than aroaces because we both have the same central frustration of "why the hell has society decided that these two things have to go together? Why is only wanting one such a hard concept?" They understand the struggle of how hard it is to find people who are willing to do one thing with you but don't expect you to do the other.

Like, I have had a conversation before with someone who was like "I know this is going to sound super weird, especially from someone who is ace" and I got to say "oh my god, no, not only is that not weird, I've done the exact same thing before but with romance." That's so cool! It's great that we can do that!

Whether you're aro, ace, another aspec identity (because let's not forget about atertiaries), or some combination of those, we all share the same frustration of "why is all media so obsessed with this one thing?" We all can't easily explain our identities to other people. We literally feel the exact same ways, just about different things. The aspec experience is the same across all identities, it's just in different fonts.

Saying we should be separate is like saying that lesbians and gay people shouldn't be in the same community, because lesbians know nothing about attraction to men and gay people know nothing about attraction to women. People have said that too, and I hope you all know how ridiculous that is. It's ignoring the common ground of being attracted to the same gender instead of the one you're supposed to be attracted to, and it's also ignoring how much defining those identities as not liking men/women is going to alienate the bi/pan/etc people who also share most of the same experiences.

Anyway. Hi aces. You are very cool. If anyone doesn't want you sitting with me, I'll make them leave instead.

*(Full disclosure that I'm sure there are aces who say this too, I just don't see it because I don't follow ace tags)

[pantaloonwedgie]

The horror of Re-Animator isn't just in the perversion of forcing dead tissue to live again. It's that Dan and Herbert cannot separate themselves from one another, no matter how much they may wish to or try to. Closeted bisexual Dan Cain has gone his whole life telling himself that as long as he doesn't ever act on his attraction to men or admit to anyone that he feels that way, then he's not actually queer, and he fully intends to keep doing that until he is dead. Except that he can't, because he meets Herbert West. After several years of living together with this little freak Dan has come to the obvious conclusion that his confirmed bachelor roommate is definitely gay and very likely also has a crush on him which he will definitely never admit to. And what's infinitely worse is that Dan finds himself inexorably falling in love with Herbert, too. Now the obvious solution to this problem would just be to initiate a romantic relationship with each other since their feelings are clearly mutual, but Dan can't do this because that would make his bisexuality Real and he actually would very much like to keep pretending that it's all in his head for the rest of his life. What scares him even more than admitting he likes men is the depth of the mirror-still water that is his emotion toward Herbert. He only manages to contain it by ensuring that those emotions are never stirred to much. Leave it alone and it can't hurt you. He is afraid that if he kisses Herbert and faces that love then it will all spill out and he will drown in it. If he fans the flame it will never go out as long as he lives, and this is just not something that Dan can ever allow to happen.

But here's the thing. Cosmic Eldritch Powers cannot be fought. They are beyond the abilities of mere humans to control, to understand, or to stop. Dan's indecision and self-imposed mind prison are only temporary because him and Herbert falling in love and manifesting that love on every possible level is inevitable. It's preordained by some force that would shatter the human psyche if it made itself known to you. Whether Dan eventually caves or Herbert sees what he's agonizing over and puts him out of his misery, the two of them consummating their love for one another is as impossible to prevent as Entropy. In his darker moments Dan will sometimes wonder how this all came to happen to him, wonder where he went wrong - if he had done something differently, could he have avoided meeting Herbert or becoming entangled in his research on reanimation? If he hadn't spent so long trying to resuscitate that woman who was obviously a lost cause, he would've taken her to the morgue sooner or wouldn't have been asked to take her down at all, and wouldn't have crossed paths with Herbert West. If he had posted the ad for a roommate a few days later or tacked it up somewhere else on campus Herbert West wouldn't have seen it. If he listened to Meg and told Herbert West that he wasn't the kind of roommate he was looking for. If he had trusted Rufus to discern that Herbert West was not trustworthy. If he had woken up in the middle of the night to a clamour from the basement and simply rolled over to deal with whatever it was in the morning. If he had refused to take part in his experiments, refused to listen, hadn't gone to Dean Halsey in such excitement, hadn't let Herbert West pull him along all this time, just maybe, none of this would have ever happened and Dan wouldn't be lying awake at night thinking about what it would feel like to kiss the man performing unholy experiments on stolen body parts in their basement. And the sublime beauty and horror of this dilemma is that he could never have stopped it. It was always going to happen like this.

The real Horror that Dan faces in the Re-Animator movies is of falling in love. Because falling in love is scary - you can't stop it, you can't predict it, you can't control it, you can't hide from it, it makes you vulnerable, it makes you want things you may never be able to have, it can hurt you, it can control you, it can kill you but you cannot kill it. Dan can never run away from his love because it will always find him (and so will Herbert West)😊.

[mustlovelou]

[I've been struggling with this fic for the last couple of days and now, I'm officially giving up. So, here it is... I'm posting it exactly as is (not edited) and hopefully, I can work on other fics now. This is a fic from Buck's POV during that night at the bar. I was hoping to then write Tommy's POV but I guess that won't happen now.

If someone reads this, I hope you like it at least a bit.]

“Thanks,” Buck says as he closes the Uber door. 

He watches as the car leaves before turning to look at the bar. After convincing Ravi to have a drink with him, Buck had to choose the bar. The only one that came to mind had been one that he knows Tommy frequents –or, at least, he used to frequent when they were dating. He and Tommy had never come together, but they were supposed to that fateful night. 

Buck knows that choosing this particular bar was a terrible idea. He knows he is playing with fire but he couldn’t help it. Besides, Tommy might not be there, anyway, he thinks. 

Taking a deep breath and releasing it slowly, Buck walks inside. He glances around, trying to catch the sight of a cleft, a crinkly smile, and blue eyes so beautiful he would constantly get lost in them. Instead, he sees Ravi waving at him from a booth. Buck’s not sure if what he feels is relief or disappointment. But given how his stomach feels like lead, it’s probably the latter. 

“Hey, man!” Buck greets Ravi once he gets to the table. “Thanks for coming!” 

“Yeah, sure,” Ravi replies, very much not enthusiastically, and Buck admits he feels the same way. 

The conversation is stilted and there is an air of awkwardness around them, so Buck decides that the best way to cut the ice is for them to have a drinking game. 

As they drink—a game Eddie taught him—Buck starts talking about whatever comes to mind, which turns out to be things he and Eddie would do while hanging out. 

Eddie leaving has been a good and a bad thing, in an odd way. The bad part is obvious and, even though Buck understands and accepts why Eddie had to do it, there will always be a part of him that feels as if everyone leaves him eventually and that he’s just not someone worth staying for. The good part is that Buck has been forced to think and worry about his best friend being gone, allowing him to push aside the hurt and heartbreak he still feels over Tommy. They are still there, of course. And he keeps baking. And he keeps dreaming about him. But, in a way, he can focus on Eddie instead of the rest, at least for a little while. 

The tequila does the trick, and Buck honestly has no idea what he’s saying anymore. He's well aware that Ravi seems to be completely done with him, but that doesn’t stop Buck. No, he just keeps talking and playing. 

Sometime later, Ravi leaves to get them beers and Buck, alone on the table, decides to drink one shot. 

“Look, who I found!” Ravi says.

When Buck turns to see who Ravi found, he freezes for a moment. He thinks he looks like a literal deer caught in the headlights.

“Tommy,” Buck says, shocked. 

This is what he had been secretly or subconsciously expecting, wasn’t it? And yet, now, with Tommy in front of him, smiling softly at him, Buck’s not sure how to react. 

Ravi tells Tommy to sit and he does without a word and then suddenly Ravi is gone. 

Buck thanks the tequila shots he drank because otherwise, he wouldn’t know what to do or how to act. Actually, he’s still not sure what to say but the alcohol has loosened his tongue so he’s a bit relaxed. 

Not only does Tommy look good, but he also looks hot as hell. How is this fair? he thinks. Buck ignores the little voice in the back of his head that tells him Tommy’s eyes look sad. 

Tommy asks him how he’s been doing and Buck just starts to ramble about what happened to Maddie. 

The conversation flows a bit and in no time at all, Buck starts to feel comfortable and relaxed. Tommy has always made him feel like this. 

When Tommy says that he has been fighting to not call him, Buck knows he should say something. He should tell him that he missed him, that he was also fighting against his impulse to call him, that he started baking constantly in an effort to not think of him. But he doesn’t say anything of that. He just stupidly says: “No way.” 

This whole night has turned into something unexpected. Seeing Tommy has turned his world upside down. Buck has missed him so much that having him near is making his all body tingle. 

Even if it’s for the very last time, even if it will hurt later, Buck wants him. No, he needs him. So, he does what he has always done best: he flirts. 

“You, uhh… you wanna see it?” Buck asks, fidgeting with the label of the beer before looking straight at Tommy lustfully. 

Tommy looks surprised for a second before smirking and standing up. “Let’s go.” 

The ride on the Uber to Eddi-Buck’s new place goes by in a frenzy of kisses and desperately trying to not climb onto Tommy’s lap and grind against him. 

Thankfully, the driver doesn’t say anything and just turns the music slightly louder. 

Once they reach their destination, Buck and Tommy separate long enough to get off but then they are immediately on each other again. 

Buck doesn’t want to let go of him.  He had missed Tommy’s smell, his kisses, and his hands roaming over Buck’s body. 

He feels giddy, happy, and elated, like nothing could go wrong right now. He pushes away the negative thoughts and just lets himself have this moment with Tommy –secretly, hoping and wishing that it’s not the last time. 

As Buck grabs Tommy by the tank top and pulls him to the bedroom, he can’t help but thank his past self for choosing that bar. 

[crabopank]

I like seeing composition interpretations of every work of Gallery of Violence that people are starting to make in tags. And I wanna say beforehand that any of your insights are valid!!! AND I WANT TO SEE THEM, but also for anyone who's curious, I decided to make a post about some ideas I myself intended to show by those art pieces + my headcanons on every character-autor as an artist because i tried to give them each sorta their own style. JJK MANGA SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

Kenjaku

Obviously pictures death paintings and Yuji aka his children, but the detail thing is death paintings (lol they actually are paintings now) are blurred by black paint since Kenjaku perceive's them as failed projects. Art headcanons are him using quite a lot of oil (not as much as Mahito tho) and yeah smudging projects he's disappointed in.

Gojo

Suguru's portrait was done after his initial execution by Gojo, but Gojo ripped it apart after reveal of Kenjaku taking his body (idk where it would happened in canon, probably before fight with Sukuna). Toji's frame, glass and canvas are all torn apart with "bleeding" behind it are part of Satoru's art-headcanons - it's not about the fact he killed him by making him a badly centered donut, it's about his power manifest in such greatness that "not even a visual recreation can contain it". Yuji & Sukuna artwork isn't finished, since he never actually executed Yuji and Did not defeat Sukuna. He is using fancy frames for Suguru (gosh i love his name idk it just sounds yummy T-T) and Yuji cause he sees their death as a shameful loss for the world that needs to be mourned about. At the same time, Toji's and Sukuna's frames are simple since Gojo perceives them as obstacles only. Art headcanons are Satoru's determination to go past limitations such as frames and edges of canvas. He also probably gave Yuji's portrait some unbelievably long title. ALSO he uses only his name aka Satoru 悟 as his signature since I do not believe he gives a fuck about Gojo clan.

Sukuna

Stands right before Megumi's portrait, since when I made this Sukuna possessed his body, that's also the reason Megumi faced away from viewer - his personality was effectively suppressed at the time. Gojo has the biggest canvas since Sukuna enjoyed their fight and has some respect for him. I guess I should've made Jogo's piece, but i forgot about his fight...

Probably uses pastel and soft dry materials, maybe a little of tempera. Prefers smaller canvas for more control over process.

Yuji

Addressing the elephant - empty frame represents his feeling of guilt for Shibuya incident deaths. We may not believe it's his fault, but he does, and that's why it's still there even if it's empty for us. Mahito's portrait has 3 kanji on this picture, but later when I made a poster out of his artwork i decided to simlpy name it 猟 . Yuji unlike Gojo sign his works as Itadori since he doesn't value himself and would probably pass his achievements to family name rather than his own. Works in mischtechnik and uses mainly color pencils, gouache, tempera and watercolors, maybe some acrylic. Often literally mixes them. He lacks basic academic knowledge so tries to follow all the "rules" of classical art but always gets carried away by his own feelings in the process.

Mahito

Uses giant canvases a lot, not out of any respect for people on these canvases but because of his own immaturity and maximalism that comes with it, if he would win a fight with Yuji he'd give him a comically big one as a way to show off the win of his Ideals. He also made portraits of Nobara and Nanami so big exactly because their death (well I thought Nobara is dead at the time a painted this) was the way to shake Itadori's sanity. Uses the more oil and acrylic than anyone else, covering canvas in super thick layers of paint. Draws only with fingers (idk maybe with toes too, he's unhinged like that) and sometimes with painting knife.

ALSO I had headcanon for Toji drawing with coal some cool minimalistic artworks, but i didn't draw it. He probably would be pretty popular as an artist, but so bad at money management that any money he'd get were doomed to be wasted.

Gallery of violence

2024 art series representing acts of violence of Kenjaku, Gojo, Sukuna, Yuji and Mahito

[tknuniversum]

007n7 and C00lkid Block Tales AU!

Cross posted on Ao3 under the same name as my Tumblr account!!!

This is going to be a bit long. (Some things will change once Demo 4 comes out)

007n7

Backstory:

He's still a hacker, a really dangerous and powerful one. He mastered code manipulation and even Builderman had trouble with banning him. After a really close call with banhammer, 007n7 decided that he needs someone who will go to front lines for him, so he could still do the hacking without risking being banned. So he got to work and after some time he created C00lkid using android body he created and fragment of his own code (more specifically a part of code that includes memories from his youth where he started taking hacking seriously)

With C00lkid he made a lot hacking attacks, which resulted in him being feared across whole Robloxia. He got banned once, by Builderman and ended up in Banlands, but thanks C00lkid's help he ended up escaping. He decided to lay low for a while and ended up moving to small village [in the area where Demo 4 will take place].

More info:

- He's more emotionally distant than his Forsaken version, and doesn't regret anything he done in the past. He feels proud of his accomplishments.

- He doesn't view C00lkid as actual person, just a bunch of code in android body/ a tool that helps him hack. Despite this he still allows C00lkid to call him dad.

- He has a control panel for C00lkid, where he can also read the mood of his creation or any thought C00lkid sends him, is able to access his point of view and is able to control him (he rarely uses the last option)

- Believes that relationship are nothing more than a distraction and a obstacle.

- Is focused on his work, despite being in hiding from Builderman he hadn't stopped experimenting with the code. But he does it in unsuspicious amount.

- After Builderman went missing (time when game events take place) he became a bit more open with his hacking. Which resulted in getting Shedletsky's attention, who sent Player to investigate [this happens after events of Demo 4]

- 007n7 and Shedletsky came to understanding/ created an alliance. 007n7 can continue his experiments but the bigger ones need to be reported and must have someone trusted by Shed to supervise.

- At first 007n7 was reluctant but with time he realised that this alliance is beneficial for him. And now he legally does illegal things.

- Works as cashier in local market.

- With time people started trusting him more and now he sometimes helps around village, uses his hacking skills in different way than before.

- After spending some more time with Shedletsky and Player he slowly came to conclusion that C00lkid has, in fact, a human traits and he might've been too harsh to him. And he slowly started becoming a bit nicer to C00lkid, although he still has moments where he comes back to old ways.

C00lkid

Backstory:

He's an android created by 007n7 with his sole purpose being a extension of his C00lgui and someone to take blame for his hacking attacks. Because 007n7's code that gave him sentience was from his youth, C00lkid's mental age is around 12 years old. When 007n7 got banned in front of him. C00lkid escaped and since his Ai/code has the ability to analyse and adapt he was able to hack into the Banlands to save his father.

When they started over in the village [Demo 4 area] C00lkid started experiencing being a 'normal' child and tried to make friends, but because of his past everyone stayed away. His dad also weren't a good emotional support, but he just assumed it's normal.

After events of Demo 4, Player is the first one who treats C00lkid like actual child and not deadly hacker or line of code. Which resulted with other village kids and adults to become more open.

More info:

- C00lkid believes everything that his dad says and thinks that there's nothing wrong with the way he treats him.

- He knows he's artificial life and he is okay with this. He uses it to his advantage.

- Because his code is able to self learn, he's incredibly smart. And uses this to prank people. (He's a mischievous little guy). He especially enjoys changing people's clothes into Team C00lkid all red 'uniform'.

- Loves helping out around village, with his unnatural strength and hacking skills people learned to appreciate him. (He's more liked than 007n7)

- His power is mostly locked away now, so he incidentally won't cause a disaster.

- C00lkid begged Player to teach him how to sword fight, after being approved by Shedletsky they started meeting up and train with wooden swords.

- He meet Red and Blue Noobs, when Player was babysitting them and they became friends (especially him and Red). Let's just say that Player had a eventful day.

- C00lkid is on Hatred's hit list. Not even Player knows why.

- Cherishes every bit of attention/care he gets from his dad. And was overjoyed when he started to give him more attention.

- Has trust issues when it comes to anything related to Builderman and Banhammer (because of his dad getting banned and what he heard from Players rant about Hatred disguising as Builderman)

- Enjoys copying/mimicing people.

- Want's to become champion of Swords Fights On The Heights

[stellamancer]

actually my niku ……. do you have any thoughts to share about your selfships’ midnight routines? :3c in general? like roast and nikooj and roadkill (and dead meat coughs coughs) and etc….. what do you do before bed? do they lull you to sleep? what would they do if you chose to sleep on the couch…..? pls share with the hungry mice 🐭🎤

MIDNIGHT... i am never up at that time what do you mean (pretends i was not up til 5am local time today).

to be perfectly honest, i am the absolute worst when it comes to following any sort of routine on my own. i literally space out on my computer for xx amount of hours, during which i will eat dinner, and then i will go to bed where i am on my phone for a little before actually going to sleep.

nikooj and roadkill are a little more... unstructured to say the least, with nikooj literally being like... there is almost no routine. which is hilarious when it's the only selfship where living together is part of the lore lmao. but you know what isn't? actually dating in full lmaooo. it's still in the will they or won't they phase. which. makes sense given, well you know (pretends i don't have a spicy comm of that). nikooj tends to be up later though, but i'm usually asleep first. gojo is a freak who watches me sleep. next question.

there's a little more... routine for roadkill because uramichi goes to the gym after he's done with work and he works untill i get off and he comes and gets me from work. he drinks less when i move in lmao, though i tell him it's fine if he still wants to drink. we take turns making dinner and then it's kind of parallel play situation til a bit before bed. i'm honestly surprised when i find out he has a simple skin care routine he does before bed (btw as MUCH as i like to think gojo has a routine himself, i think it's funnier if he just slaps water on his face and calls it good) and so i try to do one too. i have an easier time getting to sleep than uramichi does, like far more easy, so i'm usually lulling him to sleep. like i will hold his hand to help him feel at ease! i couldn't decide to go sleep on the couch. i fear he would spiral. but if i did i would be coming back very quickly and apologizing for it.

OKAY NOW FOR THE CONTROL FREAKS.

part of me is like where i the difference? but i think that suguru is less direct than sunday is about things.

so like, it's past what suguru thinks is an acceptable dinner time and he just gently taps my shoulder and smiles and asks if i've had dinner yet (he knows the answer) and pulls me from whatever i'm doing to eat dinner. subtly reminds me to get off the computer and go wash my face by closing the book he's reading and heading into the bedroom a bit before bedtime. i think honestly suguru has me trained like a dog or something.

it's about the same with sunday, except instead of asking if i've had dinner it's more 'it's getting late you should eat dinner' and coming into the bathroom to do the skincare routine with me (i sometimes do not take the proper amount of time). sunday will also make sure i put my phone away so i don't get sucked into being on it much later than i should. if i have trouble sleeping i'll ask him to yap about something. anything really. i like his voice. owo

anyway, it's laughable to think either of them would even allow me the thought of sleeping on the couch. even if i try to wait once they've fallen asleep, the second i try to get up there is an iron clad grip on my wrist. or. if they're suspecting it around my waist. T_T

i might make an excuse and try to lie about it and say i'm going to the bathroom... but suguru conceals a threat in his words when he tells me to not get lost and sunday will call me out on the lie.

[itsmistyeyedbi]

@serendepac @agentnatesewell

That's exactly what I was thinking! Like yes, things get busy after the end of book 3 with the detective becoming an agent and doing training and all. But we don't really have much to go off of on what happened in between that and book 4, which works fine in the other routes, but eh...not so much in A's, I think. Not when the detective can have so many complicated feelings and reactions to what happened.

And if I'm remembering correctly (I'm doing a replay of the demo but mostly to see how the bffs react to the feelings the detective has towards Li-Sar lol), A pushes back a little (a little) at the more distant options when they first show up to the bakery, except the ones where the detective can fully call them out at the table they're seated at - and even that is after some mostly light hearted conversation and some hand touches. I guess at this point the detective is pretending not to care about A actively seeking them out and showing romantic interest in them, because any negative feelings they have doesn't really last long.

I would love to write it, but I'm really stumped on how A would act. It's too soon for them to be acting like they do in book 4, considering that they said they have to let the detective go and all. They have a really bittersweet moment with them and then cry outside their door. No way is A going to be all flirty and cutesy with the detective.

But I'm also not sure how far the avoidance would go on A's side. Mish/ka says that after that confession, it's difficult for them to reel their feelings back in, but what would that look like a day after the confession and possible kiss? Is it lingering, longing gazes and easily coaxed out smiles? Is it more reaching out before pulling away? Is it a regression back to the Commanding Agent who was trying and failing to convince themself that they're only around the detective out of duty?

I genuinely have no idea💀

I lowkey want to write the direct aftermath of that kiss at the end of book 3. The detective spends the night at the warehouse, so Zuri would still be there in the morning.

Considering the talk Morgan would have had with Adam after the kiss, and the one Nate had with him before it (the one on the patreon, for those who have seen that unseen scene👀), breakfast that morning would be awkward as hell and those two would immediately know that something happened.

And if this was in the poly route I posted about!? Especially if its path 2!? OOF.

[lakeshorediving]

more of the raven cycle au bc I can't stop (also all these ideas are half baked at best with me remembering vaguely BOTH series so a reread is in order methinks... anyway).

I keep thinking about how Andrew would be different in this au since he didn't grow up in the system, but instead w/ Tilda. Since Aaron didn't exist, there was only Andrew to go back for, which Tilda did do. I don't think he'd be nearly as closed off as he is in canon, but he's not all smiles and giggles either. Perhaps when they're younger, he's nicer to Aaron, showing him the ropes and how to predict Tilda's increasingly volatile moods. However maybe as he gets older he realizes that he spawned a person from his dreams and 5 year olds aren't that great at personalities- so maybe he pushes away a little, tries to find differences, to give Aaron agency. Only problem is that he's also caught between not wanting to let Aaron go- to protect him because despite his best efforts, from both himself and Tilda, there are things Aaron just doesn't quite get. Aaron isn't a ditzy airhead. Not even close, but he's a little more willing to just let things happen to him in the sake of love (because- at it's core- that's what Aaron was made for- a brother that would love Andrew). Maybe they still have some sort of deal, one that isn't as rigid as canon, but that still allows Andrew to keep his brother close and protect him. Andrew is going to make sure his brother is tough, can survive, wants very desperately for Aaron to prove he has a personality to prove he's his own person and not just a life sized doll that just so happens to be able to breathe. Not sure if all that makes sense. Very subject to change but the point is that I think Andrew's drive for protection is definitely still there, just different.

Second thought is that Andrew doesn't actually know much about the world of Dreamers. He knows he can bring things from his dreams, things beyond his wildest imagination. Sometimes they're alive, horrid screeching nightmares that Tilda used to kill, until that job was foisted onto Aaron when he came around. Both twins get really good at digging shallow graves quickly. Tilda doesn't know much of the dreaming world either. Andrew's dad was a Dreamer. She knew that. He wooed her with magical gifts, charmed her with fantastical objects that would dance and glow and sing. She fell hard and fast for a Dreamer, who left her when she was pregnant. As for the things she does know, she's not forthcoming with information. Only time she does offer anything is when she's screaming at Andrew for bringing Aaron from his dreams, shrieking that he has no idea what he's done. "What do you think happens to dreams when the dreamer dies, Andrew?" Aaron had slept through her hollering, oblivious. Other than that, Tilda is a useless as a well of information, and there's really no one else to teach him anything. And Andrew isn't bringing back anything big enough to garner attention. He knows it's not normal, so he lays low, not wanting to become some sort of lab rat or locked up for psychosis for trying to explain that his dreams come to life and try to kill him from time to time.

Tilda is harsher with Aaron than she is Andrew. Aaron is not her son. He's a cheap imitation. A dream. Not human. And to Andrew, this is unforgivable. (even more unforgivable is that Aaron doesn't hate her, can't hate her, because he wasn't dreamt that way).

Kayleigh Day was a Dreamer. Kevin Day is not. But he knows Dreams. Knows them well. He clocks Aaron almost immediately, once he gets to Palmetto (not when he was trying to recruit them with Riko). It's one of the first things he says to Andrew when they're alone. "Your brother is a dream." And the knife he gets to the throat is swift. The knife presses harder when Kevin has the gall to ask "who's the Dreamer?" Kevin and Andrew have their deal still, but it's more 'I'll protect you in exchange for information' type thing. And Kevin teaches Andrew all about the world of Dreamers and Dreams, the dangers, the Fairy Market and how the Moriyamas fit into all that.

Neil isn't a Dreamer either, but knows the Fairy Market even better than Kevin because he was practically running inference on the Fairy Market until his mom yoinked him out of it. Neil that was doing bounties with his dad to get Dreamers. A source of frustration for Andrew bc on one hand, Neil is hot but on the other hand has brough the very people that want to kill him and subsequently kill his brother to his doorstep. But Neil is useful for his knowledge and Andrew isn't going to let him run away until he has answers

[ablobwhowrites]

https://www.tumblr.com/ablobwhowrites/777791359957532672/hear-me-out-on-this-yandere-crk-ramble-guys?source=share

Sorry if this is annoying but idea to add onto yap since I love it so much it activated my 'I want to make ideas based off this...'

The moment the cookies get y/n to the other side...y/n is shocked at first but next thing they know...the cookies are spoiling y/n and taking complete care of them. Massages often to work out stress, having y/n just relax all day instead of work, kid cookies loving to hang out with y/n to color in coloring books with then or playing games with them...and when y/n has that office work instinct...to do paperwork and stuff...cookies work on that so fast...lol!

(this is going to happen in some time as the cookies are trying to find a way to get y/n into their world. And y/n is oblivious to it rn)

Y/n would be reluctant to rest. They would bascially have to have every single strongest cookie in earthbread to make them take one single rest day as everyday they have a need to do something. Cause trust me if y/n told the cookies that y/n is a workaholic, always having a urge to get things done and without fail y/n will secretly try to get more work done because it's due in two weeks and the work is just to send it in but y/n wants to redo the whole thing because they see one mistake on a paragraph and now y/n is forced to under one of the cookies watch because of y/n's tendency to forget to sleep or eat or anything except to work.

But when y/n finally decides to rest instead of working, y/n doesn't know how to really relax as when they do it's weird to them because what if someone needs help or if work needs to get done then what would happen if they don't. They really act like it's going to be that important but it's really not. Also the beast trying to steal y/n back to their domains kinda freaks out y/n so they mostly try to stay away from them. I do imagine y/n not being able to walk around in their new form became of cookies being flat so it's hard for them to go around places for right now so some cookies help out y/n to walk around because y/n will fall flat on their face again like last time. Dr bones of course is a worrywart about y/n's health after being transported to the cookies world so some daily checkups are made by them. Plus y/n is kinda a celebrity now on earthbread and off earthbread because like they are the baker and seeings that they are actually nice and friendly makes them really really popular.

Choco Werehound Brute hangs around y/n a lot more and does growl at other cookies who try to get to close (I love Choco Werehound Brute dude) as he helps y/n around more and is kinda like a bodyguard for y/n. Y/n's pets and basically all of y/n's personal belongings where transported to the cookies realm and y/n finds that kinda scary cause what does their parents think in the real world cause y/n basically is missing in that world but the cookies try not to dwell on that but y/n is scared of them for that reason but hey at least they got their pets with them and don't have to pay rent now (and in this au, earthbread is a actual place like other games and the cookies severed on of the many connections to the human world so y/n will have a tougher time getting back home if they tried.) y/n does get a little freaked out about that.

When y/n actually decides to let the cookies help them relax. 100%, Sauna Egg Cookie would help y/n relax at a nice bathhouse he works at and he will try his hardest to give y/n the relaxation they deserve and then after y/n will kinda be forced to do yoga with yoga cookie and y/n if actually freaked out about how bendy and flexible yoga cookie is. She is obviously do only simple yoga stretches and stuff but y/n is struggling because they worked at a office cubicle and have such a shitty posture sometimes and now it's coming to haunt them. Butter Pretzel Cookie will get y/n into doing some painting and even if y/n can't paint at all or is actually good at painting, she is putting that painting in the fanciest frame known to man and treasuring it for the rest of time but then she'll ask y/n to be her model and yeah that'll be y/n's whole evening. Starfruit Cookie would probably have y/n star gaze with her as she tells stories about constellations and things like that as y/n falls asleep. Y/n does like living here but at the same time wants to go home but they'll never let y/n leave, not now, not ever.

(that's it for my yapping session for today. If you guys like it and want more please don't be shy and request any ideas for stories or y/n's. But for now please stay safe and drink water!)

[cumplanecrash]

So apparently I only have time to format this at work, and the thing about work is, sometimes you have to do work there. This smallish section (under 800 words) rounds out what will be chapter 2, I think.

AO3 🔗 Shizun Babies AU tag 🔗 writeblogging Shizun Babies 🔗 first 🔗 prev

This was the part that they never showed you in the videogames: everyone needing to fuck off and bury their noses (or their disciples' noses) in some books. There would be no convenient "Ah, yes, I've heard of such a thing" or recently arrived tomes, like there would have been in the original Proud Immortal Demon Way; no search engines or algorithms like a more modern setting might fudge the downtime with. Everyone had to leave and go do research, because this wasn't in the book and/or because the System wanted to milk the situation for Heartwarming Points or something. Dinner'd been had, the very little they knew had been shared, and it was time for everyone to go their separate ways.

And Yue Qingyuan was absolutely bullying his precious disciple!!

They both stood by the front door, where Binghe had just returned with a stack of books from the Great Library, still clutching them as the sect leader loomed over the boy. Binghe wasn't done growing yet, while the sect leader was approaching 2 meters and as broad as an ox (that or Shen Qingqiu was shorter than Shen Yuan had been, which would be a trip and a half given usual fantasy logic), so it's not that hard for him to physically crowd Binghe without actually using overtly hostile body language.

[the finished version of this illustration goes here]

"It's very important that you understand that your Shizuns still have all of their adult faculties," Yue Qingyuan whisper-yelled at Luo Binghe. His back was turned to himself and Shen Jiu, as he had been about to leave, so Shen Yuan couldn't see Yue Qingyuan's face, but he could see Luo Binghe's polite-masking-intense-discomfort expression, so he could only imagine the intensity. "You must respect that they are grown adults, who have earned a high rank and the corresponding respect."

"Naturally," said Luo Binghe, sounding bewildered.

"But also," Yue Qingyuan took Luo Binghe's shoulder. "This curse makes them need to perform childish mannerisms against their will. So in a way, they also need adult supervision."

"This disciple is used to providing for Shizun during his flare-ups," Luo Binghe explained. "Providing amenities while being respectful is a skill this disciple has honed over the last year. And as for Lord Jiu, there are at least two things we agree on wholeheartedly, so this disciple thinks things will go rather smoothly this time around."

Bing-ge, what's the second thing?? Bing-ge? Shen Yuan bit down on his candy, hard.

"Luo-shizhi must contact me if he needs anything at all," Yue Qingyuan shook Luo Binghe by the shoulder.

"Qiii-ge," Shen Jiu whined, startling Shen Yuan where he sat next to him. "Let the boy put the books down before you make him piss himself, carrying on like that."

Shen Yuan wasn't the only one startled. Yue Qingyuan looked mildly sheepish after getting caught threatening Shen Yuan's precious little lamb. (Which, to be fair, he had excused Shen Jiu doing so much worse, so clearly this backwards-ass fantasy setting didn't understand how traumatizing being threatened by someone who you had no reasonable method to get away from could be. There was a reason the Revenge Against Shen Qingqiu arc had been so long and so well received, is all he's saying.) After relaxing from his startle, Luo Binghe sent Shen Jiu a grateful look, a sentence which had never before been thought in the entire PIDW fandom's history.

"Gimme gimme gimme," Shen Jiu demanded sardonically, going so far as to make grabby hands.

"You're doing that on purpose," Shen Yuan accused him.

Shen Jiu tilted his head back, and Shen Yuan was not preparee wail that came from so close. "Xiao Jiu wants his books now!!!"

Luo Binghe hurried past the sect leader, panic clear in his eyes as he brought five thick books to the table. As for Yue Qingyuan...

Shen Jiu immediately covered his mouth, bursting into giggles. "Qi-ge's face!" He gasped out, curling over onto his side towards Shen Yuan. Yue Qingyuan's dismayed expression was hilariously overblown, to be fair. Once the table was blocking the other two's view, Shen Jiu glanced up toward the cieling, and then did a tiny little dance, wiggling his hands and feet with a small smile.

That's what counts as heartwarming around here? System??? System are you broken?!? Shen Yuan demands to send a bug report!

[katerinaaqu]

I am reallh afraid of sounding dumb and idiot, but... Why didnt Odysseus and his crew started fishing? They were in the middle of the ocean. Surely they could fish to not starve, right? (And not end up slaying Helios' cows)

Well hahaha although I oftentimes say "whoever says that about Odysseus probably has never fished before" but I get it is hard to get it sometimes it seems obvious hahaha but it is not. So allow me to elaborate a bit on some estimations.

Sorry in advance if I blabber a lot hahaha 😆

Fishing is not a sustainable form of nutrition on the long run as an exclusive source of food. That is because even if we do have abundance of fish we still need to fish long hours to catch a fish and by n large the fish that are close to the surface or to the shore are small fish so you need to catch a large quantity of them if you wish to have a quantity enough to feed one person.

Not to mention that half the fish's weight is the guts, scales and bones. The guts are not edible on their own even if ancient Greeks and later Romans even more, created a type of fermented fish sauce from the guts (the Roman garum) but fermentation is a long process and cannot be done on a ship so if they were to catch fish then half of their quantity would be the guts and scales and that would be useless to them. Moreover it would take longer to catch the meal of the day if they did at all. Even if we do estimate seas be richer in fish back on the day it is not like video games when someone throws the bait and the fish pops up.

Large quantities per person are required. By n large if you are to survive on fish you require a decent amount of quantity per person like 200 grams to half a kilo which as I said to fish you require double at first if you remove the guts. It's good not to starve but not dense enough for the stomach to give you plenty of calories to survive on the long run either unless we speak of fatty fish like sardine and even that since it is small it requires quantities to fill a person.

To be more specific in Greece we eat a lot of fish both bigger and smaller and by n large we accompany it with other stuff such as bread or vegetables. Just fish does not keep you filled up for a long time like red meat or Fibre and it IS very nutritious but not THAT high in calories to be eaten on its own. And as I said not all fish that exist on shore and close to the surface are big. 3000 years ago the drafting method of fishing bigger fish was not really a thing haha and you needed to use baits to catch bigger fish. Denser foods could keep someone for longer and an animal could feed several people while with dish you either need multiple or bigger fish to cover the needs of multiple men.

Preparation is not practical. As I mentioned before for someone to prepare the fish means you need to remove the scales that are not chewable, cut the fish and then gut it and all the blood and guts are not only emitting a terrible smell but could be a hazard for crew. It gathers flies and birds and the rotting of blood could affect the wood of the ship. Moreover cooking the fish would be almost impossible unless someone was drying salt water for its salt and bake it in salt.

Sure the guts can be used as a bait to gather more fish but it is not practical to have that on your deck 24/7. On shore is easier to prepare and cook of course although close to the shore as I said we have the issue or smaller fish as opposed to open sea. Which is why in antiquity mollusks were more often than actual fish for they were easier to find easier to prepare and didn't require much. To the shore you should throw nets in the water. Alternatively one could look for other seafood like sea urchins or octopodes.

However I believe there is one thing that we need to consider because yes we can analyze forever as to how sustainable is or isn't in real life for people to survive exclusively on fishing on a remote island of the Mediterannean sea but one thing that we need to remember is this 😁😆

The poetic factor. Surely we must not forget the principles of the poem. The poem is not necessarily a realistic representation of everyday life in antiquity or a realistic survival mode story but is a mythical poem.

Even though Odysseus mentions the technique of fishing when he describes the gruesome scene with Skylla, Homer by n large depicts his heroes and characters dine almost exclusively on meat. Even in the case where Odysseus visits his slave and swine herder Eumaeus, he feeds him some meat cheese and bread. In most scenes of Iliad and Odyssey with some exceptions to the rule the heroes are eating meat almost exclusively

That is not realistic neither does it respond to the real dietary habits of ancient Greeks (or modern Greeks for that matter) or most ancient cultures of that time. Most of the time meat was a delicacy or something eaten at celebrations or during some sacrifice. Animals were precious and were offering much to the humans for example cows offered milk and labor for farming. People wouldn't go about slaughtering cows in the manner we see in Iliad or Odyssey otherwise we would have no animal left. Chicken lay eggs and the slaughter of one usually happened when the chicken could not lay eggs anymore. Goats and sheep gave milk and sheep gave wool which was precious for many uses. Again we wouldn't randomly see people slaughter goats and sheep the way Homer shows.

Of course in terms of traveling meat was a sustainable way to survive given how one animal could feed many individuals and the meat could be dried or salted beforehand and taken with them but even then one can expect more legumes or bread being taken with them than animals for slaughter or chicken to lay eggs instead.

But we also need to remember apart from the symbolistic diet the heroes have in the Odyssey something else;

Homer doesn't mention fishing exclusively in Helios isle not because he is stupid and cannot think of anything else that a person might realistically use to survive such as fish mollusks grass and berries or other. He creates the scene to show how men were helpless before the will of fate and of gods. We do not know if the heroes had tried to fish or not we just know it didn't work even if they tried because their fate was already written and they had nothing else to do but starve to death or slaughter the cattle of Helios.

Otherwise we could also ask why didn't they hunt? We do see them hunt wild goats before. So what was their problem? Surely any other kind of animal is expected to live there and provide nutrition. Even rats and other rodents like rabbits could do. Why not those? Homer implies that no such thing existed which again realistically speaking makes no sense that absolutely no wildlife not even wild birds or rabbits and rats didn't exist close to a cattle enclosure but he let's us assume that there wasn't because that is what the story is about

If we keep asking as to why this happened so in the Odyssey one could also ask why didn't people believe Cassandra even if she spoke the truth? Why didn't anyone believe her even if she was proven right the other times? Why didn't any of the people who went to hear Christ on the mountain had no food with them and they even thought it would be the only natural that Christ and the deciples were somehow in charge to feed them? Etc there are many parts that if one thinks of them from all sides they do not make sense through and through even if they do have logic in there

The heroes could have tried to fish and failed to catch something each and every time. They could have tried to hunt or gather and failed because for some reason only inedible grass and cattle existed on the island. No bushes with berries, no wild fruit, no roots, no rodents no mollusks or any other or even roaches or any other insect one in theory could use and get SOME nutrients in their system is not there.

Realistically speaking that is not much probable but Homer just let's us know that this was the situation. Moreover they had opposite wind consistently and couldn't sail out. None of that makes any sense realistically but this was the curse of the men

By n large the plot is such because the tradition and literature calls for it. It does not need to make sense in its totality as if it were placed in a realistic scenario even if it has logic (as I said fishing is not sustainable on the long run) but it is supposed to be the plot that brings the conditions together if that makes sense.

[itsamourestamour]

What's up Jayvik nation

I am looking for someone to write a Jayvik roleplay with. Here’s some general info into what specifically I’m looking for and some boundaries to be able to write together.

You MUST be literate and use proper grammar and spelling, I don’t care about mistakes, I just mean the people who are consistently not great with grammar and spelling. Nothing against those people at all, but it just inhibits my ability to understand what you mean sometimes, and loses some of the immersion I’d like to have in the story.

I’m 23, you’ve gotta be at least 18yrs old to write with me, I don’t write with minors and if I somehow find out you are, I’ve gotta end our conversations unfortunately.

Yes I’ll write smut, but I’m not looking for smut centered roleplays necessarily.

I will play as either Viktor or Jayce (though I am Viktor leaning) but please forgive me if I don’t know as much detail of the lore or if I get certain things wrong. You can always just let me know so we can adjust something. Usually I’ll double check if I’m unsure about something, though.

I’d like to focus only on the Arcane tv show lore, I haven’t played the video game and I have little interest in learning about it or playing it.

To explain what I would actually like to write- I really love their lab days, so I’d definitely want to start with that, and build lots of tension, angst, and half slipped confessions from them in that 6-7 year gap of the show we don’t get to see of their relationship. But eventually what I’d like to do, is skip ahead to the canon events of the show and play things out just a little differently. I’d like to really drag out the war and conversations between Viktor and Jayce during the time Jayce returns from the future Piltover place. There’s so much there I wish they’d done more of, so I want to re create it all and relive it in our own way.

I’m not opposed to happy endings, so long as they’re bittersweet. Aka I can’t write anything that’s void of angst, so I’d at least like for there to be some unresolved trauma or something toward the end, but honestly we don’t need to talk about endings right now.

Iwork full time during the week, so I won’t be around all day but I will always make time to write when I can, especially because this has been my fixation for the past few months now.

If you’ve made it this far, thank you!! I’d love to connect and exchange ideas.

[hyumjim]

On harm reduction and Google

I took the last of my percocet today, which was prescribed to me after a surgery I had last week. Unlike previous days, I took a normal dose of Adderall as well today since I wanted to get some things done, but I'm cramping a bit. In the interest of caution, I googled "percocet adderall interaction" before I took it, to make sure this would not be harmful to me (although my doctor, who has a list of every medication I take regularly, would certainly have said something if it was a problem, so maybe I shouldn't have bothered. But hey, more information can't hurt you, right?

Right?)

This single Google search has taught me a lot about how profit-seeking entities taking advantage of enshittification have made it extremely difficult and complicated to access basic health information.

The TOP RESULT (and of course the one Google showcased) was from some drug rehab program called "Alina Lodge," which said:

I ain't no city-slickin' doctor with no fancy degree, but that don't sound right to me. I am not taking New Jersey's Premier Residential Treatment & Detoxification Campus at their word here. It would seem to me that the amount of each drug you're taking would probably be a factor. Let's now look at the second result... also from a drug rehab program! This one is called Banyan Treatment Center in Florida.

This is much longer and written even more poorly than the first result! We have a straightforward "NO" despite the concession that doctors will in fact sometimes prescribe these drugs together... followed by a long list of the reasons why doing this will definitely kill you. "You" are presumed to be a person who is "abusing" prescription drugs here and thus acting irresponsibly. There is no accounting for the amount of the drug you are actually taking, and therefore no allowance for any situation outside of one where you are speedballing. Incidentally, I do think that people who are intentionally speedballing are probably less likely to google "adderall percocet interaction."

Anyway, the third result is Drugs.com, and here is what Drugs.com has to say about this.

Wow, that's a really different answer! And yes, it is the answer I am willing to trust, given that it is from a reputable source that aggregates trusted information rather than a for-profit rehab facility. (I don't know how much these places charge because there's no pricing info on their website; I can only think the answer is "a lot.")

If we continue scrolling, there's some irrelevant results and then, at number six, yet another rehab website warning us of the deadly nature of this combination. This one is from Desert Hope Treatment Center in Las Vegas.

This "article" is written better than the others and as you can see, it actually includes sources, something the other two rehab sites did not bother to do. The author is a clinical psychologist, although apparently not one that works at the Desert Hope clinic (she's based in New York) so I guess they are hiring out psychologists to write articles for their website for some reason.. which is just weird. Anyway, it lends this article a veneer of polish and authenticity (I mean, Alina Lodge gave no credentials for the author of their article, meanwhile Banyan's article was written by their fucking Director of Digital Marketing!!!) but make no mistake, it's still bullshit. I mean, it is a crazy statement. The accepted wisdom is that you should take drugs under the supervision of your doctor; this website is saying even that is dangerous! (There is no elaboration as to what this means exactly, it just moves to the next topic lol). So let's look at the citation: "Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. (2022, February 23). Polysubstance use facts." There's no link, so I can only assume they're talking about this little fact sheet from the CDC website. And what does that source say on the topic of prescription drugs?

Wow, that's not at all the same thing! That is a really shitty citation! Almost like these are not reputable sources of information, because they are ads. These are all ads, and I believe they are meant to make the reader feel like they have a drug problem, and the world is not safe for them, and they really need to go to expensive rehab right now. We'll come back to this later. It might be really obvious to you that these are ads, but they're dressed up to look like reputable medical sources (especially that last one), and a lot of people would not know the difference; particularly older people. This may be part of why every time I mention a medication to my mother, she tells me it's DANGEROUS.

Anyway, after another irrelevant result, at #8 we have GoodRx, which is a reputable source.

So exercise caution and look out for symptoms of serotonin syndrome, I got it! Finally some good fucking information. It turns out that I regularly take other medications that can cause serotonin syndrome too, so this is something I should be aware of anyway (although I think the risk is pretty low, or my doctors would have brought it up). As an aside, in the future I'll probably make use of things like the WebMD Drug interaction checker, where you can input any number of drugs and get a list of potential interactions in order of their seriousness. Of course, googling a potential interaction won't get you this tool or anything, because google sucks, as you know.

Back to our never-ending Google journey, I wanted to mention one more shitty result. "rehabcenter.net!" I hope you didn't think that my Google search was hampered by the lack of quotation marks, etc. That is the reason for some of the irrelevant results, which is why I later did a search with quotation marks around "percocet" and "adderall." With all the chaff removed, rehab center dot net shot up to #7 on the list! (Desert Hope also went up to #4, and GoodRx is simply GONE. Thanks, Google!) Now, you may be asking "what the hell is rehabcenter.net?" And I'm so glad you asked.

Rehabcenter.net is the property of Regard Healthcare, which owns several rehabilitation centers across the United States. Our dedicated team of treatment specialists will direct you or your loved one to these facilities if they believe it to be a good fit. All Regard Healthcare facilities uphold a quality of care rooted in accredited, evidence-based practices, and positive outcomes. (...) All the content found on Rehabcenter.net is originally created by a team of web developers, writers, researchers, marketers, and graphic designers. We pick topics of interest that are most valuable to our audience, and base them on search volume, relevance, and the latest research concerning addiction treatment. Content is fact-based and derived from credible sources such as medical journals, government agencies, and other relevant publications. (...)

GENERAL DISCLAIMER: RehabCenter.net is intended for educational purposes only and is not designed to provide medical advice of any kind. Any information found on RehabCenter.net should never be used to diagnose a disease or health problem, and in no way replaces or substitutes professional care. In the case of a suspected health problem, please contact your healthcare provider. The producers, contributors, sponsors, editors, and authors of RehabCenter.net have no responsibility or obligation to anyone (person or entity) for any harmful consequences that may happen, directly or indirectly, as a result of the content or information provided on RehabCenter.net.

This is somehow even slimier than anything previously seen here because rather than advertising for a single rehab facility, it's a fucking corporate entity. Despite all of these disclaimers, it is still very much pretending to give authoritative medical advice lol. The "article" that came up in our search has a little blue check indicating that it is "Trusted Content," and it was "medically reviewed" by a real(?) medical doctor! And what does it say about percocet and adderall, the two drugs that are currently battling it out in my bloodstream fighting to kill me?

It's very AI-generated, very DARE. And, to the point, none of this really applies to the people who I think are most likely to search for information about drug interactions, i.e. people who are using drugs for a medical/therapeutic reason. I also don't think any of this is actually helpful to "recreational" drug users or people with substance use disorders either. Because there is an obvious agenda behind these websites, it casts doubt on all of the information even if some of it is true. A harm reduction approach would actually help people who use drugs for any multitude of reasons, and potentially save lives, but this would mean presenting factual information in a non-judgmental manner, which is counter to the aims of these rehab websites, whose goal is to maximize their SEO and get people to pay for rehab. If someone is doing drugs while equipped with enough information to mitigate their risk of serious harm, then they're not in rehab, which is abstinence-only. So harm reduction is actually anathema to these people who are trying to profit off of addicts.

HELPFUL LINK ROUND-UP.

The National Harm Reduction Coalition's huge library of resources is great if you need or are interested in info for the safe use of illicit / non-medical / "recreational" drugs

WebMD drug interaction checker

[the-irreverend]

Great take @featherspiral (and btw your art is fantastic!). Oh and forgive me for the long ass essay that follows.

"I actually draw chara a bit more charitable than I actually see them, tbh."

Well I wouldn't call your art of Chara an inaccurate portrayal, I don't doubt there were many happy moments between Chara and Asriel. It just wasn't enough to make Chara the friend Azzy wanted in the end.

I remember when I first read the tapes in my first playthrough of Undertale and was quite bothered by how Chara treated Asriel. It isn't a stretch to say that Chara was manipulative and even a bit of hurtful sometimes with Asriel, even if there were good intentions behind it.

But I also believe it's important to remember that just because Chara was manipulative or even hurtful, doesn't make them irredeemable, especially considering pretty much all the main cast has done terrible things themselves. Just look at Toriel and Asgore: the latter hurts a child with fire magic just to test their strength and the latter... goes without saying.

"and speaking of that dialogue, I think it very strongly implies that the reason chara made asriel pick up their body and bring it to the surface was because they knew he didn't want to do this, and wanted to force him into a self defense situation. I know that sounds like an unfairly cruel analysis..."

It's not an "unfairly cruel analysis" to take into account the failings and felonies of a not irredeemable but still deeply flawed character like Chara. It is unfair to disregard their complexity and positive/negative qualities to portray them as someone who "did nothing wrong" or "did nothing BUT wrong" which was sadly a huge trend in the early fandom and only has just now started to cool down as ppl started to accept the merits AND flaws of Chara's character.

I believe they definetly prioritized the plan over asriels safety,

Totally. I definitely interpret them as an "ends justify the means" kind of character: They wanted to do the right thing and help those they loved, but the trauma they endured was so great that it left them with a warped view on how to achieve their goals and help those they cared about, which resulted in stuff like reprimanding Asriel for crying and the infamous buttercup plan.

"and maybe they want that strength to ensure some kind of safety for themself or the ones they love (nothing can hurt you anymore, nothing can hurt anyone anymore etc etc...)."

My thoughts exactly! Chara did care about others but when the geno came along two things happened that twisted their "drive for efficiency":

A) they lost their soul and therefore their ability to feel compassion/love like Flowey.

B) the only way they could achieve that strength so nothing could hurt them was to take part in the carnage you/Frisk was inflicting.

Though tbh, my interpretation of them in the genocide run does differ quite a bit from the mainstream. But that's a whole different can of worms, and a very large can of worms seeing how I wrote a 5000 word essay on it lol.

Thanks for answering my question. Best of luck with your art! I love your UTDR art!

Hi again! Fan of Chara here!

Do you think Chara still cared about Asriel and his family despite theIR love for efficiency and maximizing everything?

They did say in the newsletter that once they became invincible, "nothing can hurt anyone anymore."

Just love to hear your thoughts if it's no trouble at all.

oou interesting question!! thank you very much I looove when ppl ask me about characters teehee

I actually draw chara a bit more charitable than I actually see them, tbh..

the way I interpret it is that chara DID care for the family, certainly. someone who doesn't care doesn't make a pink "mr dad guy" sweater, assuming that was made by them lawl, but also... I don't think chara was the nicest individual tbh. I always thought the small bits of characterization we get of them before death is very indicative of someone who probably wasn't treated very well, and thus has warped perceptions of what a loving environment should be and how to reciprocate these things

specifically, in the true lab, even though we don't know directly what they say, the tapes very much imply that they probably belittled asriel for things like crying, showing weakness (which certainly did NOT help his mindset down the line) and that they seem to bring his faith in them into question as a way to goad him on when he showed hesitation ->

not that I'm on the "chara popped out a villainous monster" train ofc, I very much think these things are even more evidence they didn't have the best life ever on the surface. and that's pretty much confirmed with asriels dialogue from the pacifist ending where he says chara "hated humanity" and climbed the mountain for an "unhappy reason"

and speaking of that dialogue, I think it very strongly implies that the reason chara made asriel pick up their body and bring it to the surface was because they knew he didn't want to do this, and wanted to force him into a self defense situation. I know that sounds like an unfairly cruel analysis, but there isn't really any other reason we would've been given that information in the way we were, just like.. narratively speaking. I believe that they either DID want to actually free monsterkind, or, less charitably, destroy the humans they held a grudge against (i could accept this either way because i dont think the core reasoning is actually integrally important to how the events ended up playing out, and its fun to keep things flexible here). in any case, I believe they definetly prioritized the plan over asriels safety, which isn't all that surprising considering they prioritized it over their own life.

overall I think their drive for efficiency and getting stronger is a product of the more than likely poor environment they came from, and maybe they want that strength to ensure some kind of safety for themself or the ones they love (nothing can hurt you anymore, nothing can hurt anyone anymore etc etc...). I think that whole attribute is a sort of vessel through which they show how they care, but it gets twisted into something more heartless through the genocide run. anyway this is long as hell. my god