#because so much of it is ruined by weird misogyny and sexism

[unreadpoppy]

bg3, infographics, misogyny and you

Preface: this is a long ass post that I wrote some many weeks ago, and that because of some stuff I've seen, I'm compelled to finally post it. It's very like a spurn of the moment thing, not extremely well thoght out but I still think it's relevant.

.

Recently, a few people have posted some, in my opinion, really insightful infographics showing the difference in content to how many works (in AO3) there are to the female characters vs the male characters of BG3 and I've been thinking about how it relates to fandom in general, but also...everything.

As a quick rundown, what happens is: almost all of the female characters have a lot less content when compared to their male counterparts (at least writing wise). And I think this is a great moment to stop and think on why is that.

There's a lot of point to begin with but I want to begin with something larger and that is the society most of us are raised in. Obviously, I can't speak for everyone, but I think it's fair to say that most people grew up in places that had its fair share of sexism and give it or take, that does shape how we view the world.

I'll speak from my own experience. Even thought I had a mostly liberal upbriging, I went to a very conservative school and when I was growing up, I saw a lot of videos on youtube that anaylized media in what i can only describe as "god forbid women do anything". Video after video, I saw people commenting on how x female character was a mary sue, how she made no sense and ruined the plot, so many video essays on the """strong female character trope"""" that would end up just enforcing gender roles again. And I'll be honest, this DID affect how viewed female characters.

The best example I can give of this is with bg3 itself. There was one day that I stopped and realized that Minthara was the first time I ever obsessed over a fem character as much as any male character. And the second thought I had after this was 'oh my god why???'

Why did I always cater more to the male characters than I did to the female ones, when most of the times, I liked a lot as well?

I'd like to point out that I've seen the topic of "Most fic authors are cis straight women" being brought up a lot and frankly, I'm not the biggest fan of it. First, because I think it's overall a very...heteronormative way of seeing stuff and it's assuming a lot of stuff that puts a sour taste on my mouth (as a queer woman myself, I really don't like that implication but that's on me). Second, because saying that 'obviously women are going to write more about men' feels very...weird. Third, I just think that this argument fails to really question the why of it all and gives too simple an answer to something is anything but.

One can make the argument that these female characters are written differently than the men, and yes that is true and it's even historical (I wrote a whole project on the invisibility of women in theater through the ages and a lot of it has to do with how women were written, but that's a story for another time).

But I don't think that's true for all cases. It's easy to blame an imaginary writer's room than question that you might have internal biases.

Because at least it's what happened to me. I grew up hearing how female characters were inferior to the male characters and it affected how I viewed them. It's something I had to stop and reevalute and it led me to appreciate characters I once loathed.

And it sucks to realize that. It sucks to realize that even as a woman myself, I was not immune to commiting sexism, that I hadn't fully outgrown the shit I saw as a kid. Does that make me a bad person? No. You're not to blame for being raised in a way that leads you to have certain prejudices.

But it doesn't mean you can't do anything about it.

And no, the solution is not to suddenly go write a bunch of femslash. Because no one is saying that you should feel ashamed for writing more for men, or forcing you to like female characters. But, I ask you to do something much simpler.

Think on the why. Why, even when we love female characters, we don't show them as much love as we do to the male ones. Why we might feel more compelled to write for the men than for the women. Because sometimes it's questioning ourselves that we can find something about us we didn't know and change how we engage with media.

And you can brush this off as just fandom stuff, but I think it does, in some ways, also reflect a bit on how we act as whole as a society. Hell, writing this whole thing made me think of how the way I was raised still interferes with my own sexuality (which is a very personal topic for me to get on here but it was worth mentioning). What I'm trying to say is that sometimes something small is an easier way for us to understand the bigger, systemic issues around us.

I know that it sounds like there's nothing to be done cause fandoms have always been like this. But, personally, this sort of conformity to the norm causes more harm then good. Things won't change unless you decide to do something about it. And the good thing about fandom is that it's small enough that doing literally anything can create some impact than, I don't know, trying to solve big, real life societal issues.

This is getting long so I'm gonna try to wrap this up quickly. No one is shaming you if you write or obsesses more or even care more about male characters than you do female ones. I just ask you to think about it and be honest with yourself. Because then maybe, just maybe, next time you engage with another media, you might end up enjoying a female character much more and obsessing over them just as much.

[stitching-in-time]

Voyager rewatch s5 ep20: Juggernaut

I don't know if I'm in any frame of mind to review a Star Trek episode right now, since I'm American, and it's election day, and we may or may not be descending into fascism in the next day or so, which is obviously terrifying. And since I'm in more than one of the groups that are on the fascist chopping block, I am very not okay. I haven't looked at election news yet, since I'm too anxiety-ridden to look before all the votes are in, so bear with me if I get a little upset about this otherwise middling episode of Star Trek: Voyager.

Gonna just say that I don't like this one. I hate episodes where they bring up B'Elanna's very understandable anger issues as some sort of terrible thing that's ruining everyone's day, so she should just have to to suck it up and get over it. Miss me with that shit. B'Elanna's actually calmed down a lot over the years, so for them to do a story like this now just feels like punishing women for ever showing a hint of anger. (Meanwhile, everybody is angry with her for being angry, yet somehow them being angry is okay, but her anger isn't. Ok, sure, that makes so much sense! Not!)

While there is merit in the idea of healing from trauma including letting go of your anger to at least some extent, I don't feel like that's what they were going for here. Nobody seemed interested in exploring why she feels the way she does, or finding ways to help her heal by making her feel safe and loved and accepted, they just wanted her to suppress her feelings so they weren't an inconvenience to them, which, in itself, compounds the trauma and makes it worse. So this whole story gets a fail from me, which is too bad, because it could have been pretty effective just as a thriller without all the weird misogyny thrown into it. It's basically Phantom of the Paradise on a Malon garbage scowl, just without the 70s glam rock. (It would have been more fun with some 70s glam rock, honestly.) The whole environmentalist commentary they're doing with the Malons was enough of a story by itself without having to throw in everyone making B'Elanna feel bad about herself. Kudos to Tom, Neelix, and Janeway at least for being supportive of her, but I loathe how they made Tuvok and Chakotay treat her- after almost 5 years together, and more than that in Chakotay's case, they wouldn't be so shitty to her and have so little faith in her. What the hell??

Also, I fail to see why B'Elanna was the only one in a tank top on the Malon ship. Why didn't any of the men take their jackets off for the whole episode? More sexism, methinks! And this is like, what, the second episode where the camera has followed B'Elanna into the bathroom while taking a shower? Eww? I don't care that they only show her back- when was the last time we followed any male characters into the shower and showed even their backs? Never, actually. And it was gratuitous here, since that whole thing about her remembering hitting that guy had nothing to do with her being angry with him, she had to do it to protect an entire sector of space from being irradiated and killing everyone, so why are they making this thing about her feeling guilty about it or whatever? It's very obvious that the guy who wanted to kill eveyone because he was so angry and wanted revenge was supposed to be a cautionary tale about letting your anger run wild, but that's a false equivalency to compare him to B'Elanna. She doesn't ever intentionally cause harm to people when she's angry, and has time and again volunteered to sacrifice herself to help others. She cares far too much about other people to be in danger of doing anything so destructive.

Stories about how harmful the anger of wronged or oppressed people are need to walk a fine line if they don't want to veer into the territory of gaslighting people with legitimate grievances into believing their anger makes them just as bad, or worse, than the people who caused them harm, and don't think this episode walks that line well. It doesn't really seem to have a message other than 'anger is bad', which is an incedibly un-nuanced take that has no usefulness to anyone whatsoever.

Tl;dr: Another episode where B'Elanna gets undeserved crap for being angry, made the worse by being late in the series, when it hasn't even been an issue for a while. No fun, and no useful message or character development. (Tbh I'm surprised but thankful that no one told her to smile more. Good grief.)

[sarcastic-gypsy]

The Station 19 storyline...

Am I the only one who absolutely hates the Beckett and Ross/Sullivan storyline? It seems way too dragged out by now. Why enable characters like that in a show as popular as station 19? It doesn’t add up with the statements of the writers wanting to stand for inclusivity and equality. It would have made sense it the writers actually tried to make a point with it, or if there in any way had been foreshadowing to future episodes to sort of create a bigger picture of things. Yet now it seems that the storyline is that way simply just for the sake of it, and due to writers not being able to or wanting to come up with better storylines. Plainly, it just seems like its promoting misogyny, sexism, homophobia, and chauvinism.

The same goes for the sidelining of Travis, Vic, Carina, and Maya. Why do they not have more screentime each and in interaction with each other? It seems that Andy, Ross, Beckett, Sullivan, and or other side characters are constantly in the picture as well. Travis and Vic should have a bigger storyline as well, where we actually see them interacting with Maya and Andy outside of the station.

The Jack redemption storyline? I’m just not buying it. It seems extremely hypocritical when compared to the way that Maya has been treated. Both Jack and Maya have been in the wrong with some of their actions, as well as some of the things they have said, but suddenly it’s all “station 19 protect our own, we’re a family” when Jack is suffering and pushing people away. Where is that energy for Maya? Where are her friends? It’s really sad to see the way the show has ruined her friendships with Andy and Vic. They really made Andy and Vic treat Maya terrible and say horrible things about her. I miss seeing Andy, Vic, Travis, and Maya interacting and actually spending time together and supporting each other!

So, it seems that Jack is allowed to suffer and be a person who treats others terrible, but when Maya is suffering because of a demotion caused by her saving a kid its everyone for themselves? Why drag that storyline out so much, but allow Sullivan and Beckett to continue their chaos and shitty treatment of others seemingly for no good reason at all? That just doesn’t speak anything other than hypocritical to me.

And sorry to say it, but it’s literally the most out of character thing ever to have Carina and Maya to suggest that Jack should be the donor and have them continue to actually use him as a donor. Also, yes I see why Carina would be able to forgive Jack, it’s so in her nature, but to practically swoon over him? That would literally never happen, Carina wouldn’t do that - what were the writers thinking? Lastly, that whole storyline with the Marina baby, everything was wrong about it, and it was extremely disrespectful to all queer/non-straight womenx. Please STOP putting men into/between the storylines of queer/non straight women like that, it’s just so unnecessary and weird? Both Jack and Maya could have had great storylines respectively without  interactions such as the one carried out in that storyline.

I definitely also think it was the wrong choice to make Travis treat Emmett like that, it seemed to out of character and unnecessary. They were such a great couple, and Emmett was such a great addition to the show. Definitely feels like the show is missing something without Emmett and Travis/Emmett as a couple.

Last but now least, give Carina more screentime and a bigger storyline, she’s a series regular for god sake, act like it. She’s literally one the most popular and one of the best characters on the way, it’s time the station 19 writers and producers recognize that. The same goes for Marina, stop dragging this baby storyline out so much please, that would not have happened if it has been a straight, cisgender couple and that’s just sad. Stefania and Danielle are way to talented to have their characters disrespected like that, and Marina is way too important to be disregarded like the writers have been doing for a while now.

 Sorry for the rant, but it just made too much sense in my head to not get out.

[lryghe]

NARUTO thoughts; an exploration of the male gaze

This won’t be a particularly ground-breaking post, but I did want to touch on some of my favourite examples of misogyny and sexism within the Naruto anime itself, and also from the fandom. Yes, this post will contain spoilers, but also, it’s just going to ramble because I have a lot of thoughts on this. Naruto is by far one of the most absurd and dehumanising examples of the male gaze I've seen in the big 3 of anime (old OR new gen). In fact, one could argue that a central theme to the show is the fact that it's being catered towards a traditional male audience. It’s my least favourite thing about the show, but it’s interesting to explore the female characters regardless of their lack of depth or whole character arcs.

HINATA

When you think of sexism and the female characters, Hinata (probably) isn’t going to be your first thought. She’s the most heralded female character of the show, the main love interest, quiet and compliant, and she’s got big boobs so she’s a fan favourite. But seriously, Hinata is the very epitome of an “outdated peak male fantasy”. In fact, she may not even be outdated considering male fans still go crazy over her, but she certainly is a male fantasy (keyword here being fantasy). Hinata is a key to acknowledging the sexist tendencies both the studio and the fans have towards women, because Hinata is glorified for her quiet and submissive attitude, her shy and devoted attitude (to a probably unhealthy amount) to Naruto, and her stark difference to the other female characters of the show, like Sakura or Ino or Temari, who are all loud and boisterous. This was probably a deliberate decision, and it worked perfectly, because no one likes Sakura for her brashness but Hinata’s seriously weird obsession with Naruto remains well received. And that’s not to say that these traits are bad, because wanting to be in love and being quiet are definitely traits and dreams that are beautiful and should be celebrated in characters. I see a lot of people criticising her role in Boruto as just a housewife, but she doesn't have to be doing anything groundbreaking, she’s allowed to want to be a mum, and allowed to be quiet and silently confident in herself. But her role in Shippuden and the original series is plain weird in places, and I hate how the studio twisted such beautiful and kind characteristics just so she could serve her love interest.

SAKURA

In relation to the beginning of my first paragraph, this is probably the character you think of when you think about sexism in Naruto. Because Sakura is the most hated character in Naruto, and one of the most hated characters of all time. And this will not be a defence of Sakura (though I wish it was), nor is it a defence of any of these characters because honestly, they all suck in places. But Sakura is in fact overhated, and it has to do in relation to the bias towards Hinata that Studio Pierrot had. Studio Pierrot drastically altered a lot of the characterisation of Sakura and Hinata, removing scenes with Sakura and adding scenes with Hinata. And all of this was done to create a bias against Sakura. Of course, she still does shitty things in the manga, but the company did a lot to ruin her character so that she could be contrasted with Hinata, bringing up Hinata’s popularity, and dragging Sakura’s through the dirt. They even ruined her design in the anime to contrast Hinata, which is so unbelievably stupid. And the dudebro anime fans fell right into this trap to pit the girls against each other to gain recognition. Even fans of Sakura or Hinata fell for it, dragging down the other to highlight their favourite. Fans hate Sakura, the studio hates Sakura, I think even Kishimoto must hate Sakura. 

OTHERS

Since I’ve already spoken about some of the ridiculous sexism in relation to the main characters, I don’t have much to say in regards to the other female characters. Which is actually a great point when I think about it, because the absence of female voices is precisely something that should be talked about. Kishimoto put no thought whatsoever into his female characters, but other male side characters like Asuma, Neji, Shikamaru, and so on are highlighted in various parts of the show. I think the closest we get to proper female side characters is Tsunade, but her character arc revolves around her dead boyfriend. So like. Feminism is wasted on her. I think Ino is an interesting and frustrating character to explore because what do you mean she can essentially ninja-read minds. She had potential, but was pushed to the side in favour of being used to explore how hot and cool Sasuke was. Ridiculous.

I would like to finish this by reiterating that Naruto was made in Japan and is catered towards a traditional Japanese audience, hence why the women in this show have no depth whatsoever, because Japan is a notoriously conservative country (not a jab, just an informed statement). Thank you for reading, I think this turned into a rant halfway through.

Words: 872

Reading time: 3 mins

[bybdolan]

wait I don't know how much you are actually interested in this but i've been thinking about dh lawrence cause I just finished reading lady chatterley's lover and uh. there's a weird implication in that book that the main character is a "real" "natural" woman cause she can orgasm from heterosexual penetrative sex. Like the love interest goes on a whole tirade about how he hates lesbians and women who don't come from p in v sex cause it's "unnatural" and it's like. not even refuted narratively or by the main character. idk I thought the book was really good in some places but THAT. kind of ruined it for me!!! The recent movie version kind of tries to fix that by showing cunnilingus which is NOT in the book and which I honestly feel like the book version gamekeeper lover would also think is unnatural and too much like lesbian sex lmaooooo it's so weird and makes me skeptical about lawrence

very Sally Rooney coded of him :) jk. I actually looked into his sexism/misogyny after reading that questionable essay about the Scarlet Letter in order to verify that No He Did Mean That, and his focus on the p*nis and penetration came up frequently in articles on the topic. It's honestly kind of bizarre and you are very valid for being taken aback by that part of the book (considering it IS so much about sex). Sex scenes in literature are a super interesting topic anyway because they do often say a lot about a romantic dynamic or one of the characters involved, but there are certain authors who have insanely repetitive sex scenes that are very "heteronormative" (= focused on the man's desire) and it's just strange to read about very different characters all engaging in the same sex practices? Murakami obviously comes to mind because the man does NOT ever let a female character c*m, but as weird as it is this usually is addressed in the novel and is part of a larger ~plot point~. (Still sucks and annoys me though. give me a character who can't get it up for once.) Sally Rooney on the other hand frequently features bisexual characters in her writing and while there are bisexuals who like traditional gender roles during sex, many of us also. Do Not. and it is lame that this is not taken into account when she writes sex scenes. like good for all the Sally girls that they are able to c*m from penetration alone but that's not reality! give me a bit of diversity! spice up the gender roles! ugh

[atopvisenyashill]

@natividadmoon GNC = gender non conforming

which, like, Arianne is certainly very feminine and not particularly gnc but i sometimes group her in there bc there’s this conflation of ambition + pride with masculinity in the text, in a pretty clear parallel to the ways in which our own cultures conflate female ambition with acting “improper” and “like a man.” except sometimes it feels like in real life, when talking about female characters who have ambition, some readers will ascribe “being masculine” and acting “improper” with ambitious women.

kind of similar to people making the argument that d&d made yara a lesbian because they are making her “like a man” because “masculine girls are better bc they hate femininity” and liking women is a male thing - but MEN DO NOT HAVE A MONOPOLY ON LIKING WOMEN that’s like, queer theory 101! they made her a lesbian not bc they have such respect for butch lesbians (as IF) but because all asha/yara was in their eyes was a Sexy Pirate Captain and they think women kissing women is hot. that’s the reason, they just fundamentally misunderstand her character because They Are Not Serious People.

So people will hate every single character that a) is actually GNC, like arya and asha or b) are forced to be GNC bc of other ways they don’t conform to westerosi patriarchal standards, like brienne and c) are considered “masculine” by westeros due to misogyny (and racism in Arianne’s case; she would never be considered a proper woman by most of the seven kingdoms already because she’s dornish), and ascribe this like, Male Privilege Lite to them even while internalizing the sexism those characters face in universe.

and it’s sort of like…alright but you (general you, not you you) are also missing the point here, because even tho grrm could certainly be doing it better, he’s making just as much commentary on sex and sexuality as he is war, power, gender, class, etc. like, if you really think sex won’t be involved in brienne’s story line because she’s “above” that or bc you think she’s somehow treated better by society for being “masculine” that’s just like, repackaged sexism, women aren’t above or below sex because sex is value neutral!! it’s how sex is used that gives it any sort of meaning! the regents get alllllllll in their feelings about baela fooling around with boys her own age, and then a lot of fans react the exact same way by saying that a 16 year old wanting to have sex is grrm “sexualizing” or “ruining” her and beyond being a complete misunderstanding of The Themes (he’s clearly poking at prudish religious beliefs and societal preoccupation with Women Feeling Horny, and this is something he does in the main series too!) it’s also just stupid to the nth degree bc no, a 16 year old doing age appropriate sex stuff with age appropriate people is not sexualizing them. there are so many other instances where he does weird writing choices with young girls, writing a female character who is 16 and wants to fight, is shouty, doesn’t like being told what to do, and starts kissing random boys after her fiancé fucks someone else is one of the most normal choices grrm has ever made!!

sex and ambition and fighting and kissing girls are not “male” things, the point of these gnc or “improper” characters is to challenge the notion that anything at all is a male or female thing!

sometimes people will be like “there’s nothing wrong with liking feminine characters” except they absolutely despise Asha, Brienne, and Arianne & every Sand Snake and it’s like no…i actually don’t think your problem is that you like feminine characters i think your problem is that you dislike GNC women, actually

[sleepynegress]

As much as I love how well this show rendered trans characters and the way it treated characters with disabilities, this is an aspect I haven't seen talked about as much on tumblr. The xenophobia, nationalism, and racism that was shown in this survivalist disaster series about Japan, was well-done. Mari Murtoh (who is Filipina BTW) is an amazing character, as are her children.

[lams-creator]

Today's Lunch

{Viktor Licht x F! Reader}

Summary: You find yourself happily cooking for him, and you realize this is the first time you have felt happy cooking.

Genre: Fluff

Warnings: Mentions of: Past Misogyny, Past Abuse, Past Child Abuse, Sexism

Cooking was never something you enjoyed, coming from a sexist home in where the women had to do everything around the home. You remember having to come home just to clean and cook endlessly after school. Having to make dinner for ungrateful men was the worst too, they always had complaints yet couldn't even bother to serve themselves. So as you grew into an adult cooking was never enjoyable, never satisfying, just another chore. Yet as a fool you find yourself humming while gently placing the shrimp into the oil. Making sure to not overcook them or ruin them. And when you realize this, you wonder how to feel...

He made you happy, well not just happy, he made you enjoy those things you used to despise without he himself knowing. It seems cooking has now been another thing he has taught you to enjoy. The thought of sharing something you carefully made along him made your chest feel warm. At first you had only cooked for him as you had seen him only ever buy food, either because he didn't know how to cook or was too tired from his research everyday. It started out as a simple sandwich that you had carefully placed by his side while he was entranced in his work. You were worried for your coworker since it didn't seem like he had eaten anything all day. So you had left it at his side without much thought and had left for the day from the fire station.

What you hadn't expected though was him coming to you the next day thanking you, after all that wasn't something you were used to and it had not seemed like he could tell you even placed the food next to him. Yet he did, too focused on the moment but expressing his gratitude in his own weird way...by showing you his collection of preserved animals..

It was nice though, he had cleaned his plate and thanked you. But that had been the end of it, or so you thought. You would find him again starving himself because he just couldn't keep his mind off his work. It wasn't that this was an often occurence but when it did happen you could notice the side effects on his body. You felt bad just letting him starve because after all he was the company's scientist who brought much contribution. And as his assistant in his research you felt a bit obligated to make sure that he at least wouldn't hurt himself. So you made him lunch again, then again, and until you found yourself in this routine of making him lunches everytime he went into those days he wouldn't take a break. During the course of those days though you found yourself changing up the meals as time passed. It went from the most simple cooking even the worst cooks could do to amazing meals that salarymen would find their housewives making them every day. It seemed you had even learned what he liked and disliked as well, always making sure to adjust to his likings. It wasn't like this had gone unnoticed by him though, he was a person with somewhat respect so he always tried to give back the favor. He didn't seem to know how but he had always made sure to always do a good portion of your work, bought you treats or even lunch as well, always made sure to clean after any mess you had made, and verbally thank you.

It was so strange though. Because now you find yourself smiling or laughing whenever you think about the joy on his face after he realizes there's a homemade meal next to him to enjoy after he's done with his research. He has a strange smile one can't lie, but truly whenever he showed it to you as he thanked you, you just couldn't help but feel your heart beating. You never imagined enjoying making food for yourself, especially not a man. It's not like you suddenly want to become a housewife or be praised by him as if your submissive. Not at all, just that it's now so enjoyable to share a meal with someone especially him. Maybe it wasn't so bad having to be-

"Ah! Is that today's lunch?"

Seriously has Viktor never learned to not scare someone so suddenly?

"Yeah. It is."

"Thank you Y/N! I'll come back in a bit yeah? Company 5 just shared new information upon the insects!"

You turned towards him.

Since when did he get that close to your face!?

"Your a little too close Viktor!"

"Sorry!" He backed up a little.

"Whatever, the food will be ready in a few minutes please don't let it get cold this time" You can't but sigh now that you remember how many times he eats the food cold.

"Yeah! Actually after we eat I've ought to show you something!"

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, but after we eat lunch!"

With that he waved and headed out before stopping at the doorway.

"Oh Y/N?"

"Mhm?" Sol you hope it's not another tangent of his.

"I can't lie I've never once asked this before but I suppose it doesn't hurt" He turned his head.

What? Is he?..

"Would you mind going out with me whenever your free?, just the two of us"

Is he genuinely smiling?

Sorry I had this in my drafts for such a long time I suppose I only just got motivation to finish this. I know it's not entirely good as I rushed it just to get it out of the way but I hope it's alright. Thank you.

[thechangeling]

Ok so a conversation @littlx-songbxrd and I were having made me remember something I was ranting about to a friend of mine once.

Brace yourselves this is going to be long. I'm sorry.

The sexism, homophobia and racism of the shadoworld straight up doesn't make sense and here's why. So if we start chronologically with the infernal devices. There is sexism towards Charlotte right? People don't want her running the institute and they don't want her becoming the consul because she is a woman. But the Clave has no problem letting women train and fight. This doesn't really make sense in my opinion.

Now you could argue that it's because they believe woman can be string capable fighters just not rational thinkers. Which is weird because in my experience you don't meet a lot of people who are "partially sexist" in that way. Like if a man believes a woman can't do high profile, high paying jobs then they usually also don't want them in the military. Anyways moving on, there aren't any mentions of homophobia in TID, mostly because they're arent any queer characters except Magnus and Woolsey.

But something interesting to point out is that none of the characters who know about Magnus and Woolsey ever comment on it really. And following this point, none of the mains display any signs of misogyny either really. (Except for what Will says to Tessa at the end of CA but that was because of the "curse.") You could argue that this is because they're the protagonists so they are supposed to be better then that. But accidental microaggressions are pretty common especially during that time period. More on that later.

Moving onto racism, this is the interesting part. Jem says to Tessa that shadowhunters believe that you are a shadowhunter first and your nationality or eace second. Actually Jem doesnt mention race but he says this while talking about being half Chinese so it's kinda relevant. Shadowhunters rarely tall about race throughout the books in general except for a few instances. When Jessamine criticizes Jem to Tessa, she calls him a foreigner and says some other racist shit that I can't really remember. Something about the yin fin and calling him lazy. That directly contradicts Jem's statement about them all being shadowhunters first. Also Will and Jem actually constantly talk about being Welsh and Chinese in the books so that statement is kinda bogus in general.

And if CC didn't want her mains being sexist or homophobic to show them as good people then why was it ok for both Jesse and Gabriel to say questionable shit about Jem? Anyways moving on to TLH. Sexism is still running rampid with their cultural customs and people being shitty about Charlotte being consul. Bots have to ask the girls to dance, girls cannot have sex before marriage or else they will be ruined or whatever you know the drill. But again, they let the girls fight. Cordelia is allowed to carry around a giant ass sword but she can't get some????

IT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE CASSANDRA!!!!!

Sorry I'm losing it. Anyways. Regarding racism. Alastair and Cordelia have experienced micro aggressions from the mains (Matthew and Anna) but it's never addressed. I'm pretty sure if memory serves, the inquisitor makes a nasty comment under his breath about persians when the Carstairs family sans Elias arrive. And then we have the whitewashing of Ariadne/Kamala by her parents.

But none of this stuff ever gets brought up really. Exceot for Kamala talking about her past and who she was before and sharing her original name, but she still doesn't talk about how it effects her potential coming out. Alastair doesnt mention race when he talks about the bullying he went through at the academy and none of the white characters ever stop to think about how Kamala and Alastsir's races play a part in their crappy situations.

There's probably more I could discuss with this but I'm moving on to homophobia. It's a thing in terms of the heteronormativity and people's judgement of Anna but it's not illegal like in mundane societies at this time. But all of the mains are totally cool with it which brings me to, I'm sorry but fucking bullshit! There is no way every single adult would be totally fine with it in this time period. Like I'm not saying outright homophobia but maybe some questionable comments you know? (CC is perpetuating this idea that good people never commit microaggressions which is untrue and harmful.)

I don't think there's any mention of whether or not gay marriage is allowed in the shadowhunter world at this point. Because the issues surrounding Magnus and Alec getting married were about Magnus being a warlock right? Because Helen and Aline got married before them in TFTSA because she was only half fae. So that brings me to when was gay marriage legalized in the shadow world?????

Is there any mention of this because I don't think there is? Anyways moving onto TMI. This is where everything goes to absolute shit in terms of world building with the standards for these things. Misogyny isn't really a problem in tmi anymore from what I remember. Nobody has issues with Jia as consul (from what I remember,) and that's that. But homophobia is still rambid throughout shadowhunter society so much so that Alec is terrified to come out because he believes that he can't be gay and be a shadowhunter in peoples eyes. Also there is pressure to "carry on the family name" which doesn't make sense because if the sexism has died out then women can have babies with whoever and not even be married and carry on their family line. And not everyone needs to have children, ergo there is less pressure on the sons to carry on the family name or whatever. This also doesn't make sense because homophobia literally cannot exist without sexism!!!!

This is because of colonial gender roles being forced on society. And men being with men and women being with woman totally smashes the whole gender roles, "woman do this and men do that" idea. There's more that I could say on that but this is already so freaking long so please just look it up. And speaking of gender roles it's literally mentioned that Maryse didn't teach Izzy to cook because she didn't want her to be forced into a housewife role like she was (although there's no evidence to suggest she was?) But then Maryse is lowkey homophobic?

It doesn't make sense Cassandra!!!!!

CC doesn't get that you literally don't have homophobia or transphobia without sexism. Indigenous societies pre-colonization didn't care about any of that stuff. Literally two spirit people were revered and respected and no one gave a fuck about gender until my ancestors literally came along and ruined everything. (I'm so sorry.)

But anyways there's no mentions of racism amongst the shadowhunters in tmi. Just Maia talking about her experiences with mundane society as a black girl. When Clary confronts Valentine and basically calls him a n*zi, he laughs at her and basically says that shadowhunters don't see race the way mundanes do which yikes @ CC. Granted this was 2007. This kind of sounds like what Jem said in TID. Only it clearly wasnt true.

Anyways I'm just super confused at this point. In TDA there was basically nothing in terms of all the isms and phobias. (Oh we arent even discussing ableism because my fucking head will explode!) But we do discuss transphobia a bit with Diana. But again it doesn't make fucking sense because transphobia exists because of sexism and clear gender roles (and homophobia.)

Society is still shown to be pretty heteronormative though which I guess makes sense but the Blackthorns have multiple queers in their family! You would think that they would be less so. When Livvy mentions all the reasons that Annabel could have a forbidden love she doesnt even think to mention that it could be a lesbian relationship. When Mark finds out that Jaime was in Dru's room he freaks out but I guarentee you, he wouldn't have if Jaime was a girl. I mean you could argue that it's an age thing and not a gender thing but idk. That scene always bothered the fuck out of me. Because Mark is literally half fae like why is he caught up on bullshit "boys and girls can't just be friends" hetero bullshit.

In QOAAD we see Dane Larksoear being sexist so randomly for no reason. Like it's so strange because CC literally created a caricature of a sexist villian with him. And it makes no sense because no one else seems to feel the way he does. Like Zara is basically the leader of the cohort right? And nobody gives a fuck. It makes no damn sense Cassandra!

And finally, why is the faerie world sexist with gender roles WHEN EVERYONE IS LITERALLY BISEXUAL AND THEY'RE FAERIES CASSANDRA!!!???? THEY'RE LITERALLY FAERIES WHY IS THERE A CONCEPT OF GENDER AT ALL CASSANDRA????!!!!

Ok lol now I'm done. Sorry this is so long. But yeah I'm so confused.

Tldr: CC's world building in regards to sexism, homophobia, racism and transphobia is very inconsistent and contradictory and it makes no damn sense.

[c-is-for-circinate]

Thinking today about viruses, allergies, oppression, and anti culture.

(under a cut because WHOOOPS this got long)

Racism is a virus. Homophobia, transphobia, sexism, antisemitism, ableism, etc etc etc, they are all viruses--a topic that many of us have learned a great deal about in the past year. They are ideas, yes, not literal physical diseases, but the analogy holds up. They are infectious, and often spread from person to person without anyone involved realizing they have it. They can sit latent for years, never showing up because the carrier never finds themselves in a situation where the issue comes up, only to flare up and take over when you least expect it. And they mutate, just like the flu, just like the common cold; they put on a new jacket every year and slide in undetected yet again, slip past our internal sensors and bury themselves in our brains until we go in and deal with them as best as we can.

One more thing we've learned about viruses this year is how we can fight them. The viruses of oppression are a little different because they tend to hurt the people around their carriers even more than the people they've infected (although let's talk about internalized anything-ism sometime), but in a lot of ways the attack is the same. You treat the symptoms even when you don't know how to cure the disease: we invest in respirators, antiviral treatments, hospitals; we create and sponsor programs to help those who've been hurt by various oppressions, we uplift our neighbors, we try to keep people safe from violences both big and small. You work to stop the spread: we wear our goddamn masks, we stay home when we can; we train ourselves not to say racist shit that might foster a culture of hate, we stop that guy in our office from making rape jokes, we make slurs unacceptable. You pay attention to your immune system: we seek medical attention when we experience symptoms, we get COVID tests, we talk to our doctors before the symptoms get deadly; we protest and we pay attention to the people who do, we take them seriously when they tell us that something is wrong.

You vaccinate. We train ourselves and our immune systems to recognize the thing that infects us, the thing that we fear. We try to teach our children about history, bit by little bit, on fragments of dead violence the same way we train our bodies on dead virus shells, so that someday they'll recognize the live disease when they see it. We learn about slavery and Jim Crow and the Holocaust. We tell kids bedtime stories about why hitting and bullying is bad, before we ever start teaching them the specific shapes that violence so often takes. As we get older, as we get stronger, we learn about the living stuff, all the new forms that same old virus has mutated into; we educate ourselves, we listen, we read. Just like vaccines, of course, there are anti-vaxxers and denialists shouting about how racism and sexism are already dead and they don't need any propoganda besides Fox News. Hell, just like anti-maskers, there are plenty of people screaming about how political correctness is ruining the world and they demand their right to spread their virus to anyone they can. Often these are the same people.

But we try. And make no mistake, we all of us are already infected, and just like a real virus, once you've caught it once it probably won't ever go away again--but we can prepare, and we can try to lessen the severity of our cases, and we can support our immune systems of activists and protesters and our own internal sense of this is wrong, and we can work, bit by bit, if not towards eradication (not yet, not in this world, but maybe someday in another), then at least towards control.

And then there's allergies.

An allergy is what happens when a human body's own immune system freaks out over an enemy that wasn't particularly harmful in the first place. All our immune defenses--those precious immune defenses, which work so hard to protect us against all those viral, deadly ideas--go screaming into high gear. All of that fear and fury and attack power gets brought to bear all at once, against a bit of pollen or bee venom or cat dander or peanuts, and your body is left itchy and runny-nosed and gasping--sometimes literally--as it tries to keep up. Allergies are miserable. Sometimes they're life-threatening. And the biggest danger isn't the foreign agent that triggers the allergic reaction; it's the immune system trying to fight it in the first place.

Which, yes, brings us to anti culture--but not JUST anti culture. It's a good example, a little internet-centric microcosm of the same force that drives progressives to tear bloody shreds out of moderate liberal politicians. Hell, it's the same force that enables both TERFs and the Capitol rioters. It's a combination of an immune system that points in the wrong direction, flagging the wrong thing as bad, terrifying, danger, NO, and a freaked-out response that can manifest as anything from mildly irritating to absolutely deadly.

To be clear, I am not by any means equating the scale or even the source of these things, any more than hayfever is the same as anaphylactic shock. Likewise, the sources are different. Sometimes, a disease can infect an immune system and point it in the wrong direction. (Terror of the other is the absolute cornerstone of white nationalism, and when that terror gets triggered by a harmless environmental condition like, god forbid, other people asking for rights, the allergy response can be deadly.) Other times, it's the other way around. Our internal immune systems, so well trained to protect ourselves and those around us from the insidious viral ravages of prejudice and oppression, start seeing traces of it everywhere.

And they freak out. And we suffer for it.

We talk a lot of well-deserved shit about TERFs, but it's useful to remember how much their nastiness feels to them like activism. Their immune system, trained and primed and sensitized over years of exposure to misogyny and sexism, catches the tiniest whiff of something that might seem at some point to have possibly been taken for male, and freaks out, because why is that trying to get into our system. Never mind that they're wrong. An immune system that flips out over penicillin is wrong, too. It's still trying to help, and it's still doing more harm than good trying it.

So bringing this back around to anti culture, which was absolutely where I started thinking about all of this this morning: anti culture, the terror of porn and the attempt by antis to protect themselves an other people from sexual content, is an immune response. It is a trained immune response, in people who have been taught and re-taught again and again that rape culture is a dangerous insidious virus that should be fought at all costs. And, right, there's more than a bit of 'the sexism virus infected this immune system and reprogrammed it to fight itself' involved here, but look, we are all of us infected with all of the viruses at least a little bit everywhere. If we tried to direct our immune systems to rip every last shred of -ism out of every last bit of us, we'd rip ourselves apart. Which is exactly the problem.

Porn, in and of itself, is natural. As natural as environmental pollen, and living near dogs and cats, and eating wheat or nuts or citrus fruit. It's even healthy, for a whole host of reasons that belong in another essay. And citric acid and nut-based proteins and whole grains are nutritious, and pets are physically and psychologically helpful, and being exposed to lots of different environmental substances as a child can actually help train your immune system in the first place. Porn can help us figure out what we like. It can help us figure out what we don't like. And while the processes that create it are sometimes unethical and awful, we don't condemn all dogs because puppy mills and dogfighting rings exist, even if we do have dog allergies.

What we see in anti culture is often a good-faith attempt on the part of antis to attack and subdue an environmental trigger that they read as dangerous. It's a panic attack over something that is by nature harmless or mildly harmful, blown out of proportion by the very instincts that are supposed to keep us safe. It's the response of an immune system that's been taught over years and years, by everyone from parents to school systems to the activists they look up to, that negative stimulus is to be feared, avoided, and fought. Of COURSE they're going to freak out.

And of course, early exposure to controlled amounts of allergens can help prevent later allergies from developing. Of course when kids are raised with abstinence-only education, sheltered from the very concept of sex, they're going to grow up allergic to it. (Of course they're going to try to protect other kids from the same, like worried mothers who refuse to let peanuts or wheat products or dirt near their precious babies, whose kids grow up with a whole suite of allergic triggers because their bodies never learned what was okay in the first place.) And no, that doesn't mean we hand pornography to ten-year-olds any more than we should give raw honey to an infant--but of course if our culture refuses to introduce kids to the fact that sex and desire and the inside of their own brain can be messy and silly and kinky and downright weird, we're going to have a higher rate of allergic reaction to the entire concept in adults.

I wish I had a better answer for what to do with understanding that this is what's going through so many people's brains. The best I have is a prescription for allergy-sufferers, who probably haven't read this far through this wordspew of an essay in the first place--but we all get a little hayfever once in a while, and we all sometimes run into content that makes us angry. So some thoughts on how to deal with metaphorical allergic reactions, inspired by the ways we deal with literal ones?

First: we recognize that what is happening is an allergy. The thing we're reacting to might be gross, or irritating, or even unpleasant, but the danger is not and never has been the thing itself. Whether it's triggering a response because of its similarity to an actively dangerous pathogen, or our immune system just doesn't like it, our aversion to one kind of story or another universally says more about us than about it. Luckily, we have a lot more control over our social responses than our biological ones!!! If vocal activism is our sociocultural immune system firing itself up to fight an infection that may or may not exist, then we get to tell our metaphorical white blood cells to stand down. We get to decide.

Second: we get some space. The funny thing about allergies is, while early exposure to allergens can help prevent them, re-exposing yourself to dangerous allergens after you've already developed a reaction to them can make them worse. Anaphylaxis is always more likely after someone's experienced it the first time. Repeated exposure to triggers, whether biological or psychological, can make the effects worse. So stop exposing yourself.

If something makes your throat itch every time you eat it, stop eating it. If something makes you mad every time you read it, stop reading it. Obviously this can be easier said than done in a world that's a lot worse about warning labels on stories than ingredients labels on foods, but that's why fic tags exist. And: sometimes, the croissant is delicious enough that we decide we're willing to suffer through the way the almonds make us feel, just this once. Sometimes the ship or the characterization or, hell, those other kinks that we really like are tasty enough that we'll put up with the trope we hate. We're allowed to do that. But we do it knowing there will be consequences, and we don't blame the baker when they hit.

We also don't have to blame ourselves. It sucks to be allergic to shellfish when all your friends are raving about the new seafood place. But that's not our fault any more than it's theirs.

Third: sometimes, if we need one, we go to the doctor. Or a therapist. Yes, really.

Not because there's anything really wrong with an aversion or even mild breakouts of hives, annoyance, and bitching in your friends' DMs--but it sure isn't pleasant, and sometimes your doctor might have a better solution than 'avoid it and take a Benadryl' that makes you feel a little better in the long run. And sometimes, it's not a mild breakout. Sometimes it's the kind of story that lingers with you for days, makes your skin crawl; sometimes your throat swells up and it gets hard to breathe. Sometimes we get angry enough about something we've read that we can't stand down our immune system, don't want to stop ourselves from writing that angry comment, that tumblr post, that abuse report to the mods for something that didn't actually break any rules. And that's dangerous, because when our immune response can flare out of control like that, we don't always know where and when it will happen next, and the risk of what we'll do if it happens gets way, way higher.

Sometimes it really is worth getting a second opinion. Sometimes you need somebody to tell you, "actually, it is not normal to get tingly and sweaty every time you eat potatoes." There are ways to train your brain and leash your white blood cells that I sure as heck am not expert enough to address. There are, it turns out, ways to feel better. There are ways to mitigate the damage your own well-meaning defense mechanisms might do to yourself or other people along the way.

And: we can take a deep breath when someone with an allergy to something we've baked, something we've written, something we like, is lashing out trying to protect themselves and everyone around them from something they've registered as a threat. Of course they're wrong. Yes, we told them there were tree nuts in the brownies ahead of time; yes, they chose to eat them anyway. But it can be worth reminding them and ourselves that there's a difference between "this thing is toxic" and "this harmless thing has driven my own system into a defensive response that sure makes it feel like I've been poisoned." And it can be worth reminding ourselves as well as them that sometimes, that difference can be really hard to spot.

[transsexualhamlet]

the many sins of tokyo ghoul :re

or: 13 reasons why :re is fucking terrible not clickbait

Disclaimer: I think no matter how long this post gets I’m missing something, so let’s just outline the worst ones. And I mean to be transparent, the only reason I actually read :re was so I could make this post... (and bc i wanted to see the what, five panels of hide) Well, I couldn’t stand hating it without evidence beyond hearsay and General Vibes. But I knew it was gonna be bad, I knew it was going to ruin me jesus christ. Obviously I’m not hating on people that like it, and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with genuinely enjoying it (I do genuinely enjoy parts of it, and by parts i mean chapters 1-50 with exceptions and 75) I think it’s wonderful if you can derive joy from it (lmao) but I can say that through my lens in life, there’s so much fucking wrong with this goddamn fucking piece of shit manga and I feel the need to yell about it because i am ✨autism✨ so let’s get going (this is r e a l l y long just a warning)

tl;dr Ishida stay in your fucking lane

1. Transphobia and Homophobia:

alright here we are first off with the big one and if I had to choose, one of Ishida’s greatest sins here. It’s quite unusual in mangas like these to have any sort of representation for such things in and of itself, and yeah of course that annoys me, but having no represntation at all is like so much better than getting actively harmful representation. Most manga that aren’t specifically about those things shy away from those topics, and it’s tiring but it’s normal. You wouldn’t want a mangaka to try to write about something like that without experience or informed opinions. So I say if you can’t write something correct, just don’t write something like that in at all. Ishida clearly,,, does not get this.

And it’s not just the case of Mutsuki, who, well, gets it bad enough, there are three full fucking trans characters Ishida made like, just to shit on. 

Big Madame- god, made like that specifically to perpetuate the predatory trans woman trope jesus christ is Ishida friends with JK fuckface Rowling. Ah yes the ugly, human trafficking, predatory, pedophilic killer that tried to make their male child more feminine? Has a dick. Really? Could you be a single bit more transparent about your fucking agenda here? I really don’t have to say much here.

Kanae von Fuckwald- Technically Ishida says here that basically this bitch was just like??? Pretending to be a guy for years just to what?? I don’t even know?? Get together with Tsukiyama? Cause he’s fucking gay or something? I don’t even get it but like i read this post yesterday and that’s a whole ass thermian argument. It’s like “oh well this is fine because well this person’s not actually trans and therefore the representation thing doesn’t apply”... it’s useless. You created the character that way and you made it intentionally to for whatever way promote this idea that people would “pretend” to be a different gender and that eventually they’ll realize that it’s a “lie” and they never really wanted it. This is what you’re saying about the real people who are,,, actually trans? Jesus christ. Also thinking that a twink like that would be trans? God yeah trans guys can be feminine but buddy that’s clearly not what you’re going for here.

And of course, Mutsuki- There’s just... so much wrong here. I mean like. Before we even get into anything about his character and what they did to him let me just discuss his entire design. Buddy like if you had to choose one person in that show to be trans that’s the least likely one. Ah yes, the feminine one. With the androgynous haircut and the shy disposition and the physical weakness compared to the others. God that’s like, a fujoshi’s take on ao3 of what character should be trans. As much as yeah of course, trans guys can be feminine, they are in no way obligated to be such and you shouldn’t make them more so to be more “believably” so. Ask any actual trans person ever. A character like that is just perpetuating the notion of trans guys being inherently more feminine or trying to pretend to be otherwise.ThEn, of course, there’s the ridiculous sexualization, infantilization and fetishization of this character, going through a thousand plot hurdles to make him constantly stripped, put in girls clothing, chased by perverts, assaulted, ET FUCKING CETERA. Give him a fUCKING BREAK. Creating this character the way he’s portrayed in canon (including so called backstory of murdering parents because of sexual and physical abuse) is perpetuating a notion that someone would be a trans guy because of internalized misogyny and/or trauma instead of because they’re just... a guy. It’s just it’s just it’s just Really bad. Plus taking his character, demonizing him and making him like, supposedly love haise (which i Really hate for a thousand reasons, god that’s like, a parent and child type relationship they have there not romantic,,, god,,,) try to like fucking murder touka and stop seeing sense, and then just... return him to being infantalized. God. Jesus christ fucking goddamn it I love Mutsuki and he deserves better.

Oh yeah and then the homophobia, this one’s smaller because... most of the trans people are here to go “it’s gay... wait it’s not Really gay so it’s ok” but I would like to leave a small note here for all the gay characters who got thrown under the bus not just in re but in the original, like, you know, Nico and shit? I really do not know shit about Nico but all the things about Jason? God if I had a thing for one person that you shouldn’t try to portray as representation it’s Jason. IDK what’s up with him and Naki but god it wasn’t healthy. (i’d like to say here that i love naki and i think naki deserves the world but honey there are better heroes than yamori) Anyway yeah I think that’s also bullshit and Ishida should stay in his fucking lane. (or her i guess, i just feel like it’s probably a guy bc of just... so much sexism)

Ok, now that we have the big one out of the way-

2. The mishandling of portrayals of various mental illnesses:

I’m not an expert on this one like I can say about the gays TM but just like in general, the whole manga’s very messy and portrays a lot of gritty stuff, and Ishida clearly attempts to throw in some mental illness for fun, but god fUcking damn it they’re bad. I couldn’t really even give you examples bc it’s pretty widespread and i’m stupid, but it was really like trump throwing paper towels “and you get a demonization, and you get an infantalization, and you get a butchered character, and you get a fetishization-”

3. Ishida having no fucking clue how science works

This particular factoid led me to have a very hard time reading this manga because it went from being about like, yknow, torture and fights and crying and stuff to weird experimentation bullshit and mutated whatever and everyone’s a hybrid now I guess. When I heard this thing about the quinxes, I thought that made no sense, because I was like “yeah but wait,,, how tf does that work didn’t Ishida say earlier that kagune literally were fueled by human meat isn’t that like the entire point the ccg is against?” and then Ishida’s explanation of how they’re not just exactly like Kaneki is that “oh yeah well there’s like, metal around it, so it’s different.” OH YEAH OK THAT MAKES PERFECT SENSE NOW, THANKS.

The thing is... there’s no way of actually regulating that. You couldn’t move a kagune unless it was attached to your cells, and if it’s attached man, it’s attached and it’s part of you. Also yelling “frame two” won’t like make it any bigger lmao, either you’re gonna have it based on theoretical science in this universe or you’re going to have a dumb supernatural magic pokemon fight deal. The whole thing makes no sense. The science issue isn’t just about this either, it’s also about how the entire thing basically undermines the point of the whole story. When you blur the lines between human and ghoul with little to no real rules or basis in real science, every rule kind of just becomes cheap plot convenience.

So the Quinxes can eat human food unless they use their kagune too much, alright, but Kaneki couldn’t eat human food before he’d even ever used his though the only difference between their bodies was this,,, theoretical metal thing?? And Haise... was never really covered, before he went black hair emo bastard and like vored Eto, did he eat human food like the rest of the CCG? He certainly cooked it. And the squad that lived with him wasn’t aware he was a ghoul until he pulled out the kagune. So I’d assume so, but then how could he have a kagune, how could he survive when his body still was like that?

Is it the RC suppressents? Then couldn’t he just have taken those and lived as a human the entire time? Is that all he fucking needed, is that the only difference between human and ghoul? It doesn’t make sense and the rules are bent so much they don’t function anymore. Ishida like write down your rules somewhere even if they’re bullshit, they shouldn’t contradict each other.

Damn man I’m not even going to go into the dumbass rules of the half humans or the special fast aging thing or the fucking,,, folded up cells deal,,, or the Imagination Kagune, or the fucking,,, Dragon, or the zombie ghoul apocalypse or the “whole new species made of just kagune” i don’t even have the time it is fucking ridiculous and I can’t even with it. Physics. Laws of physics. If not biology, at least follow physics Ishida??? Please???? And if you’re not you need to do that consistently??

4. character glow ups actually being character glow downs 

(with the exception of nishiki, he baby now, and akira, i think her development was valid af)

God, this one gets me every time. Touka was cool. Touka was fucking badass, she had a complex character with many motivations and wants, and in the original having her eventually kind of soften bc of Kaneki is valid. But taking her and turning her into like literally nothing but Pretty Housewife Yearning For Husband At War? God, kill me. She’s a strong person. She can like Kaneki without the guy being her only character trait. Also uh, Touka and Kaneki being a couple was valid before this change, now I honestly can’t stomach it. Like they were the kind of “both bisexual” m/f couple that we stan. No longer I guess.

She’s the most egregious example, but I’d also like to point out Juuzou, not everything they changed about him is bad, honestly we fucking stan his knife legs, but he’s kind of like a rip off L now? You got rid of his ~unhinged~, we do not stan. I’m on the fence about him bc i think that kind of is a valid transition to adulthood and I guess he’s grown up, but again, why change his fucking hair color? What is the explanation for this?

Also Hinami. I mean, I don’t really care about her a lot in general, but it’s weird to see her as like an adult when Ayato emo boy looks like exactly the fucking same and they’re like,,, supposedly the same age. 

There are definitely more I’m missing here. Honestly, Hide was valid. God him with his fucking burlap sack. With a fucking lenny face on it. I can’t with him. That’s so Hide. But there were some bad ones.

5. one hair color change was my limit, enough said

black white black and white black white more white god bitch get some variety

6. Showing me great new characters and then promptly ruining them

And you can tell this one’s about quinx squad, my favorite bastard children. God, I love them. They’re the only good things about Re other than Hide and Haise and like everything else, Ishida took them and went “what if i *guts*” god why. I love these kids with all my heart. Why. Why. Why did you do that to Mutsuki. Why as soon as Haise isn’t in the room they all get themselves tangled up with pedos. Why they gotta break up the squad. Why make all of them lose all the wholesomeness and lessons they learned from Haise. Why do you ruin them all with weird unreciprocated random crushes on each other when they’re like basically siblings. Why fuckinG KILL SHIRAZU HE IS THE APPOINTED CHIEF DUMBASS OF THE SQUAD WHY HIM. WHY. WITH SO LITTLE IMPACT. YOU COULD FUCKING MISS IT SO EASILY. THAT’S NOT RIGHT. AND KANEKI JUST FUCKING ABANDONS THEM BC HE HAS HIS MEMORIES AGAIN N O ? NO ACTUALLY NO.

7. the casual racism and sexism :)

i just :) can you stop having girls constantly bring themselves down for being female :) and making them be oversexualized, less full characters :) always in some way connected to a guy :) more weak and hurt more often :) my fucking god :) also yeah it’s way less prevalent but there were a few racist caricatures thrown in there for taste if you don’t know how to draw lips just don’t

8. Ishida being too much of a pissbaby for a real death scene

Basically: undermining the impact of “deaths” fom the first series while also randomly and badly killing off new characters. Oh that character that died in the original in a really cinematic way that made you cry and think about the meaning of life and how beautifully tragic this story was? Oh lol they’re not Actually dead. (x10) Doing that with Hide (at least in the manga, not the anime, god root A really did it with him but we’re not talking about that) was valid, seeing as I love him your honor and in the manga one of the lessons that his character hinges on was like in chapter 75 to live on instead of giving up even if it hurts and all that... (this is obviously kind of the opposite from root A where his character was like more about sacrificing for kaneki since kaneki had already done so much, i think both are valid but we’re Talking About The Manga) he was done well. That was right (even though i think they should have done More of it) but there were so many characters this kind of thing was done to without the proper adjustment in the handling of the messages given here. 

Like with Koma and Irimi, who,,, honestly should have stayed dead because their entire character arc kinda ended there and showed how they were sorry for their actions and this was how they were making it up. And then they just like... come back. And fight more. Really? This wasn’t the only instance either, same deal with Shinohara (though him coming back made me cry) it like, kind of undermines it if you’re going to have Juuzou derive his character development from that. Either Juuzou gets to keep his unhinged and his dad, or he loses his dad for real and he also grows up. God guys choose. What’s the message you’re playing here. (at least they kept Yoshimura dead, his death made me cry and I would have stabbed something if it wasn’t real, probably Ishida.) And even with Kaneki himself, god, if he can’t die from being stabbed straight through the fucking eye, what COULD kill him? It really diminishes the anxiety you feel about “omg is this person gonna die i want them to be ok” if they basically evade the laws of physics and their own previous character arcs 70 times. I’m definitely forgetting more of the same, Ishida can’t write a good death, he needed the anime writers to do it for him.

9. Kaneki. Just. Kaneki. 

God they fucking butchered this man. I could go on about his character is weird and confusing in the manga from the beginning, but we’re focusing on mostly all his weird :re character development, the bad handling of Haise and his memories, and all his iterations.

Before I read :re, what I could glean from fanart and the occasional fic that wasn’t tagged properly was really confusing and kind of a mixed bag. I knew Haise was Kaneki but without his memories, now in the ccg trying to be a pacifist and going :DDDDD a lot yknow. And what I came up with in my own mind for that change was a deal of (this makes more sense with the anime canon tbh, the manga honestly doesn’t do any of this well) like Kaneki after The Shit Went Down With Hide (whichever canon you’d like to interpret that as) he basically realized that he really couldn’t be a ghoul, he didn’t want to be, he didn’t want to hurt people and he wanted to be happy and make other people happy instead of what he thought was right before (trying to fight to protect others on his own etc) because that mentality had gotten people he loved hurt, and well subconsciously I guess that kind of factored into his development into Haise and maybe caused his memory loss (along with the, yknow, shanked eye.) So when I started to read it that kind of checked out, this is what he’s trying so hard to be now. But then this whole bullshit of the whole other like, 37 different versions of kaneki complicated things. 

Haise was scared that when he got his memories back he would cease to be, well, Haise, and he would just like revert back to what he was before everything. Which I can understand him being scared of and I think was a good point in the plot for him to worry about that, but I was like “oh honey don’t worry that’s not how it works” and was kind of vying for him to eventually get his memories back, come to terms with the fact that those were his memories, he did do those things, he was half a ghoul, and maybe come back to his original fight of wanting to bring the humans and ghouls together, still caring about his human people in the ccg and all. That development was real, and it wouldn’t just go away if he got his memories back, he learned a lot and grew a lot and he has a different outlook on life now. Right?

Fucking wrong I guess. Dude gets his memories back (very ambiguously, it was really hard to tell when that even happened tbh) and like. Turns into a flaming ass looking like ebony darkness dementia raven way. Haise gone. Fucking completely. No trace left. Doesn’t care about his kids anymore. When he’s done with that and goes white again he’s just Kaneki again and there’s really not enough left of things that like, really wouldn’t go away? He loses the flair? The dumbass? The :D? The Extra? WHY? Why would those things go away? Haise shouldn’t have been right that he would disappear when he got back his memories. That killed me. I love Kaneki and all but H a i s e. He is my b o y. H i m. With his e n e r g y  s h o r t s. And his m o m. And his c o o k i n g. And his k i d s, I l o v e him. And Ishida doesn’t seem to realize that they’re... literally the same person. Haise isn’t just some stupid bastard occupying Kaneki’s body, he’s a valid part of Kaneki himself and to be honest, peak Kaneki. Should have stayed that way. Would have been great for Hide tbh. Not just having him pretty much revert to his old self, but basically respond equally to both names and balance the world between human and ghoul. I would have loved that. What happened for real? It doesn’t make sense and it breaks my heart.

Some people on the interwebz try to kind of even that whole deal out by trying to say he like, has DID, which although is obviously a valid thing, like, so does not apply to him. God I’m like so not an expert on this but I feel like it’s not that hard to tell. His 87 little Kanekis in his head aren’t separate personas, they’re metaphorical representations of his past morals, experiences, and ideologies that all conflict. Again Haise here is peak conflict because when he gets his memories back, he has all these different conflicting ideas that were all previously separate. They’re all him. Tortured Kaneki constantly yelling at him in Jason’s chamber is basically again, a metaphor for how he’s denying his ghoulhood and the trauma that he’s been dealt. It’s not that this dude still exists just the way he is ready to show up at any moment lmao. Ishida kind of dealt with that badly too because Haise really said

after his memories happened so I can see why people might, but it’s... not right, and it’s Ishida’s fault about that which is Incorrect

Also just blanket statement, black reaper Kaneki? Fuck him and all he stands for. 0% valid. I can excuse literally every other version of him. But wh y. God he leaves the room and Urie starts misusing his power and getting groomed by a pedo, Saiko is just, left behind and sad, Mutsuki gets captured by a perv and mentally destroyed again, Shirazu dies and the bitch is like like “lol it’s your fault” yeah helpful, die

10. P- the- the porn chapter-

Idk about you but that was so fucking unecessary??? Not even going off of how terribly awkward and weird it was to have it there when the opening was “i’m sad about my best friend who’s gonna get executed what do you do when you’re sad about your best friend” “i simply do not think of him or i might actually just curl up and die” “yo lmao same” “wanna fuck” Like ok um I’m biased bc i’m not straight but I like, really hated that. Even just flipping through the pages as fast as I could to get to the end of it like. God. It’s not a fucking hentai. I’m here for the plot. If you’re not gonna release the director’s cut of kaneki fucking voring hide, i don’t think i need to see 20 pages of straight fucking sex. And if you absolutely must have porn, kaneki is a fucking bottom. That man gets pegged do not try to prove otherwise. You started it out that way god I love how they’re like “oh god wait that looks kind of gay, the woman being dominant, better stop that right now” god Ishida not having a single iota of knowlege about his own characters aND THEN SHE GETS PREGNANT? NO. Excuse me. No. I just. I. Why. This isn’t. A fucking porno. This isn’t tentacle porn i swear oh my god kill me

11. Giving the wrong characters attention

Basically, redeeming characters that should have been redeemed and not going into/discussing characters that should have been redeemed/had more backstory. For example, Tsukiyama can go fucking die. I like, do not even care rich boy. I don’t understand how anyone could think he needed to be redeemed he’s just a gay attention whore who really needs to let this kid get on with his merry fucking life. I don’t care. I literally did not need to read three whole books about his dumbass hangup over eating Kaneki. Kaneki doesn’t fucking want you bitch move on. He didn’t need to be redeemed or seen to be in any way sympathetic, no one wanted it. Same with that bitch ass Furuta, he wasn’t really redeemed but he was given w a y too much time to play out his sob story. God man Rize doesn’t fucking want you. These gross ass simps. I swear.

On the other hand, I kind of liked Eto even though she’s a pile of shit, and I got mad when they didn’t really go into much about her. And you know who could have gotten much more screen time/development? TOUKA. God, I love her and she was just sitting around in the background being straight. Let her have some spicy development. Also obviously, Hide. He was... so underappreciated and underexplained? What happened with him? He didn’t just pick himself off the ground in the sewers and go ‘well i’d better get back to the ccg now’ we have a whole two years which are completely unexplained, most of which he was off mysteriously being involved in things but completely missing the eye of Haise and other major players. Where tf was he? How did he get around? What was he even doing??? I wanna know about that! Not all the characters I hate’s tragic backstories that make me feel 0% more sympathetic towards them :)

12. ARE WE ALL JUST GONNA COLLECTIVELY IGNORE THE WHOLE VORE THING???

Ok like i know i say “the entire reason I read :re was __” but like to be honest this was the turning point, I saw pictures of hide’s vore face and went like

So I was like “god fucking damn it ok, Ishida would you care to explain this to me” *cracks open re*

And then they DIDN’T.

Like. It’s actually laughable how much that entire situation was just glossed over. They gave that maybe like two pages. Like what. I. This manga has more sex scene than no homoing that. They just don’t even bother to. I feel like Ishida had that as a plot point but realized halfway in how it looked (i.e., really fucking gay) and decided that was something that he was just gonna, not deal with. Just act like that’s a completely normal heterosexual bro thing to do. Like of course anywhere would be pretty gay but Kaneki chose his face. His face. Like his face and his wholeass neck and his shoulders and nowhere else. (and assumedly like, his tongue, seeing as how the dude can’t talk... bruh) Dude really said extreme hickey. French kiss to the max. Ishida clearly did realize that generally, you can only get a bitten off face by,,, having your face bitten off, which is just inherently really fucking gay. Like, I’m just at a loss as to how it even makes sense. You wouldn’t think that the skin off his face, and specifically around his mouth, would really be the most nutritious thing to consume? I can get like the shoulders but generally you’d think something like his arm or leg would be 1.less inconvenient, and 2.much more logical and nutritious? But NO, Kaneki was like “you know what i’m gonna do? eat your Face” and hide’s like “lmao sounds cool”

(not to mention, wasn’t there another guy with a vore face somewhere? like that old guy in the ccg with the bigass turtleneck, i wanna know about him) But like... my bro Ishida went “yeah this happened but i’m going to cover it up with speech bubbles and the ends of panels guys they clearly had their socks on” Dude didn’t even TRY to explain otherwise. Like hey man, that’s pretty damn gay, you are kind of at liberty to either tell me why otherwise, or accept those implications and acknowledge them?? It’s really hilarious when you ignore it cause it’s like

kind of

pretty damn

WEAK of you to leave it at that fucking pissbaby

hmmmmmmmmm however could this happen i guess we’ll never know

13. What the fuck was even the plot omg

God I’ve been writing this post for like five hours so like, I’ll keep it short but like it made sense in the original, not to be like an anime fan but the anime made fucking sense (not re i mean like the original) this lore is so fucking stupid god, the horrors of the entire fucking dragon arc bleach my eyes, unresolved plotlines who???? (the whole ‘oh yeah also ur dying of old age’ thing etc, is kaneki like??? still doing that?? or was that randomly resolved with the whole spewing ovary bullshit i’m going to fucking kill myself) and to top it off, good job Ishida at a real fucking cheap ending. 

You gave them. Fake human. Really? They just come up with artificial human at the end. Kind of undermines the entire fucking story my guy. Ah yes throw out our whole plot. That was the whole tragedy. You gotta eat human. The ghouls have to eat human and that’s tragic bc they have to kill people or whatever. Or i guess they fucking don’t well fucking ok. God you could have just had them negotiate a kind of peace where the ghouls can get dead humans and such, there are plenty of them and no one has to kill anyone then, there could be a rule system for it, it would be messy but eventually everyone would be ok with it, and I think that would work a lot better than “quick fix i made some hamburger helper human you can eat it fine” guys wtf. It’s like Ishida started plotting out the ending for re approximately 2 hours before his deadline. Anyway yes I hate re and I love yelling about it thank you for coming to my ted talk.

[bananonbinary]

not to start discourse but i’ve been thinking about the term “trans-misogyny exempt” because like... we dont have other words for that for other forms of oppression? and i dont think i’m even criticising the term here, as much as....i really wish we DID have those terms? but it’s complicated, because i think “tme” basically just became shorthand for “is not a trans woman” which is basically pointless as new terms go.

but this only came up because i was trying to talk about groups that are affected by anti-male sentiment, who are notably NOT all male themselves! but since there isnt an inclusive word for that group, people angrily assumed i was trying to declare everyone on the list male. so it really is worth having terms to discuss “people who have been targeted for this, regardless of how they personally identify,” turning the discussion from something the victim is that drew the aggression, to something the perpetrator does based on their own assumptions about the victim.

again tho, it seems like tme has only been around a short while and already is just a binary “is or is not a trans woman (or an nonbinary person, but like, one i secretly think is basically a trans woman)” which defeats the fucking point and starts weird arguments about whether someone could have “really” experienced transmisogyny, or if it was ~secretly~ a different misplaced form of bigotry that better aligns with the accuser’s perception of the victim’s Real Identity(tm).

i guess the conclusion here is that it’s a good idea for a term, really wish we had it for like, general misogyny and shit so i wouldnt have to be reductive or awkwardly exclude people every time i tried to talk about sexism, but tumblr discourse is fucking stupid and ruins everything and i hope people are doing good things with the term far away from here.

[girlsbtrs]

Patriarchy and Pop Punk

Written by Theresa Cambe. Graphic by James N Grey

Yes, misogyny exists in almost every genre of music. Rap and country are usually at the forefront of this conversation, however, today we’re going to dive into the misogyny in pop punk. Lets face it, the misogyny is just covered up with layers of nice-guy, sad boy introspection but deserves the criticism just like everyone else. Just because a man holding a guitar gets vulnerable for a second, it doesn’t mean he is exempt from possessing misogynistic tendencies.

Despite the sexism built into this genre, I am more than guilty of partaking in my fair share of pop punk music. I would try to be at every State Champs, Neck Deep, Real Friends, The Story So Far, and every band of the sorts in between, concerts in Southern California between the ages of 14-16. I finger pointed and yelled those angsty lyrics right back at the bands while crowd surfing towards the stage in whatever sweaty venue in LA they happened to be playing at the time. I bought the merch, I hung their posters up in my room, I reblogged their concert pictures on Tumblr, I was about it. And trust me, “No Good” by Knuckle Puck could come on shuffle again and have me passionately screaming the lyrics while driving alone in my car around my god forsaken hometown (but I love my hometown, contrary to the popular sentiment). However now, I am more conscious of its problems.

I think this is the case for many other non-male enjoyers of this music when they also recognize its misogyny. Of course, there is nothing wrong with enjoying pop punk nor do I think enjoying this music makes you a bad person or inherently anti-feminist. A good portion of the demographic for these bands are women. With this large and important part of the fan base, we should start considering the safety of the environments and attitudes they create.

The attitude of misogyny and objectification is built into the foundation of pop punk. It is apparent in whichever “wave” of pop punk you want to point to. Early Blink 182 and All Time Low music videos had women in them to be silent sexual objects parading around the rock star band. There’s Weezer’s infamous sexist, nerd-rock anthems. “Thank God for Girls” sings “Called upon to employ your testosterone / In a battle for supremacy and access to females glued to the TV”. In a Genius lyric annotation of the song, lead singer of the band, Rivers Cuomo himself wrote “I’m so jealous of the hooker-uppers. Seems like it’s so easy to get laid now. All these good looking athletic guys are getting so much free sex. It kills me. Such a bummer. Such a bummer. To be evaluated by women. To be graded. To be rated. Where do I stand? How big? How strong? How enduring? How energetic? How inventive? So sad that it comes to this. So sad. It IS a competition and I AM being compared”. It is really quite ironic that Cuomo writes this but in the same breath has lyrics “The thing I finally found with these other girls in town / She got hot, and they did not” from the song “The Girl Got Hot” and also “You come like a dog when I ring your bell / I got the money and I got the fame / You got the hots to ride on my plane” from the song “The Greatest Man That Ever Lived”. Then there’s also every song on the album Pinkerton that we don’t have time to get into. Even if this self-deprecating behavior is no surprise from Cuomo, it’s concerning and rooted in some serious hate. If you want to argue that it's all satire, they’re still weird thoughts to have.

I can go on about these recurring lyrical themes. For example, there is The Story So Far’s song “Roam” with the lyrics “I know where you’ve been, you’re ruining men, never again will I let someone in”. And the classic from “Mt Diablo” that sings “Do you look at yourself straight in the eyes and think about who you let between your thighs?”. Then there’s FIDLAR’s song “Whore” which as we can expect from the title, says “Why did you go betray me? / You’re such a whore”. Then there’s the mess of “Me vs. Maradona vs. Elvis'' by the band Brand New, which writes “I got desperate desires and unadmirable plans / My tongue will taste of gin and malicious intent / Bring you back to the bar / Get you out of the cold / My sober straight face gets you out of your clothes.” Look into any corner of pop punk and you’ll find these questionable attitudes, but I digress.

These men play the nice guys and aim at making you believe he is the protagonist in every situation. The commonality between all these artists is that they obsess and fantasize over a girl then turn completely sour once rejects them or leaves a relationship. They want a “cool girl” to listen to underground music and really comfort their sad, misunderstood selves but won’t allow them to make a decision outside of his own benefit. Because god forbid these women have their own thoughts and exercise their own actions! Their fantasy is essentially a manic pixie dream girl that doesn’t speak or act out against anything. These men beg to be at the center, and get aggressive when they aren’t.

This is not to be confused with writing a sad song after you got broken up with or hurt by someone in a relationship. This is also not to say that all women are exempt from having toxic behaviors or from being written about. The guise of the patriarchy also harms those it seeks to benefit and therefore enforces rules of masculinity that restricts men from expressing their frustrations and emotions. I believe that writing music about unrequited love or difficult feelings is a healthy way to combat these roles. However, there is a major difference between processing rejection and hating women for rejecting you, which is an area many of these men seem to blur together.

I still have love for these bands and this genre. I can still go to their shows and have the time of my life, easily. But it wasn’t until I got a little older and more realized with my femininity did I revisit these songs and wake up to the fact that it might have not always been in my favor . I was probably too young to notice or care and was distracted by the catchy, yelly tone and how fun it was to jump around to that I never really sat with what some of the lyrics really meant. It was a major factor in my own internalized misogyny back when I was in the throes of it all. I didn’t want to be like those awful girls that these pop punk dudes kept singing about. They were always described in such a terrible way, that all they do is betray and backstab people. They wanted a “cool girl” to understand them and not be like them. So I rejected femininity and disliked other girls as if I’m in this sort of competition for the sad band dude’s attention. I was idolizing these men whose music mainly centered around their disdain for the women they had experiences with so much that it stuck in my brain that I shouldn’t be like them, that I should be appeasing these people I look up to. But I’ve grown to realize that I was only hearing one side of the story. It was a straight white man’s voice constantly, no one else. This one sided narrative created a false perception of reality, one rooted in a sad boy victim complex, that women are the enemy that shouldn’t be trusted because they couldn’t fit the weird male fantasy these dudes possess. Rarely are women represented in this music except through the lens of a man, which as we saw is almost always disdainful or as a character rather than a fully realized and autonomous person. Women are portrayed as commodities to obtain. It alters our perception of reality.

But with most things you love, you want to see them get better. This music has a fond place in my heart and signifies a really fun time in my life where I found my love for music and concerts. But the genre and the spaces it creates has its own set of problems that I want to see improve.

We have to realize that music has a greater impact on culture. The attitudes that create the genre of pop punk affects the audience that consumes it. The one-sided narrative they build implants harmful ideas about relationships and dynamics into their young fans, as it did to me. Regardless if you want to say lyrics are just lyrics and are meant not to be taken so seriously, artists have so much influence on their fans. They are perpetuating the nice guy narrative that men are owed something from women. And sometimes we unfortunately see this point of view reflected in these band member’s actions. The accusations against them for sexual assault, grooming, and manipulation of young girls runs rampant in these spaces and remains to do so. They abuse their positions of power and influence. Using self-pity in songs does not excuse the shitty things you do.

[rotationalsymmetry]

Making the Ferengi misogynistic (and greedy, deceptive, a weird mix of stupid yet conniving, etc) is a choice the writers made. Basically, a choice that allowed the writers to: mostly avoid writing female Ferengi characters (with some delightful exceptions, eventually), write the male characters as being as chauvinistic as they wanted to without taking away from the image of the Federation as a futuristic utopia, and to make the male Federation characters look better in comparison without them actually being better.

In a context — I love Star Trek, but still — in a context of a franchise that tends to focus far more on male characters than female characters, and when it does focus on female characters tends to overemphasize their role as sex objects or romantic interests and underdevelop them as characters who should have their own goals, priorities, fears, opinions, ideals, desires, flaws, and narrative arcs. (Not necessarily more so than comparable shows — this is a significant issue in TV in general, and in many sci fi books as well.)

On one episode in Deep Space Nine, Jake goes on a double date with Nog, and their dates end up walking out on them due to Nog acting out misogynistic Ferengi gender norms. Both the female characters only exist in that one episode, and we don’t get to see any of what’s going on from their perspectives. Ferengi sexism is a recurring theme...but one which is generally explored from the perspective of male characters, not from the perspective of female characters (Ferengi or otherwise) who have to actually live with the harassment, disrespect, isolation from wider society, etc.

It’s presented as a victory for tolerance and open-mindedness that Jake manages to patch things up with Nog. I guess he doesn’t need to be open-minded towards the date whose evening Nog ruined, even though she’s nominally more “like” him in culture. I supposed the audience doesn’t either.

So yes, in that context, showing things from a misogynistic Ferengi’s perspective rather than from a woman of any species’ perspective, it’s possible to see this in terms of “wow, Sisko not giving Ferengis a chance really is a bigger problem than Ferengis having an incredibly misogynist society.” Whereas, what’s really going on is Ferengi are a made up group of people created by (mostly or entirely) Western white men who made a very specific set of choices about how they wanted to portray the Other.

In other words: maybe Western authors writing a more mysogynistic Other so they can practice tolerating misogyny in the name of open-mindedness, is not actually a neutral or progressive choice.

There are conversations worth having about things like, for instance, how to recognize when a thing that seems abhorrent in another culture because it’s different than your own is actually not that bad. (Or when it is that bad but outside interference has to be handled very cautiously in order to avoid doing more harm than good.) But I’m not convinced that the Ferengi are actually a very good mechanism to explore that theme. The Ferengi are not a real culture and are based more on wildly inaccurate negative stereotypes and projections than on real attributes of real-world cultures. I don’t think anyone looks at the Ferengi and thinks “oh, they’re supposed to be like us” and is happy about that conclusion.

I’d much rather see this theme explored in a way that doesn’t imply that men should worry less about misogyny in the name of “tolerance” and “understanding people who are different”.

And...here look, there’s a sexism problem with the Ferengi but in a way there’s a far bigger racism and xenophobic issue with the Ferengi — not in the sense that they’re racist and xenophobic (although, they kind of are), but in that portraying the “us” (the Federation) as being tolerant and progressive and open-minded and the Other as intolerant and backwards and closed-minded, is racist and xenophobic.

It’s important to distinguish between criticisms of real people or cultures, and criticisms of fictional people or cultures that were created by people who are writing people or cultures that they do not in fact identify with.

Bless DS9

[thelambsofiscariot]

💘 - What is your muse like in ships (Gradeus? Because Gradeus and Tao is... a weird ship... but I dunno I'm starting to ship it)

[ A shipping meme for muse told by the mun // Gradeus in general and Tao + Gradeus ]

💘 - What is your muse like in ships

I’m laughing because this was sent in just when I was thinking about the fact that Tao and Gradeus really need to break but… but anyway here we go.

Tags @techtao for this because literally it makes no sense otherwise… also you can track all of Gradeus’ serial killer AU (the one where he gets with Tao) under {Hell’s Bloodied Rage || verse || ain’t no rest for the wicked… til’ we close our eyes for good} .

Long tag, I know, but it’s relevant.

Warning for: mild sexism + misogyny (on Gradeus’ part not mine), some mentions of abuse, please check my tags for the content warnings you can filter out on this blog in general.

Gradeus in a relationship is ordinarily cold. He’s never cared very much for any girl he’s dated. He sees them as — well, not necessarily below him, but inferior? in some ways to him. He has never thought girls in general are all that intelligent, or strong, or even attractive (his favourite thought to go to is “man, that bitch thinks she’s so pretty but she’s so stupid lol”). He’s had girlfriends, he’s had sex with them, he’s pretended that he likes them and that he’s interested in them… and he’s very good at faking it. But he will never tell the girl “let’s meet up” or “Let’s do something together” on his own initiative. Aaaaat this point in time, he sees all that as a waste of money for a fruitless experimentation. He only ever really dated them because he was either approached and went “whatever, I’ll indulge this bitch” or he figured he can get something from them… either through appearing in public with her (so typical it looks good to have a girlfriend) or through some sort of payment, like the promise of a job through a friend or something? Nothing as blatant as “give me money” because he views that as classless and beneath him.

So, like, Tao. Tao’s different because first of all, Tao’s a genius. There’s the intelligence problem solved right there. And Gradeus has always had these weird thoughts towards girls in particular, so Tao being a guy… also takes that out of the picture. (Tbf, Gradeus might treat a smart or strong girl as an equal after some time of learning that she’s not the ‘same as other girls’… cheesy, I know, but it’s an important process for him.) Gradeus sees Tao entirely as an equal, except in age, which is where it gets complicated — Gradeus has always had rules centred around age. He won’t kill anyone who is considered a child, since he considers that ripping their lives away from them unjustifiably. He has his own ideas of it kids needing to be respected and cared for, and being given wiggle room in certain situations and matters because they’re just not mature yet. And Tao might be slightly past that line, but he’s still barely just. Gradeus knows he’s still very young.

Gradeus treats Tao as an equal in most situations. He knows that Tao knows what sex is and how to have it safely, so that’s entirely a mutual thing. Matters of schooling, Tao’s definitely superior. He fully respects most of Tao’s decisions, although sometimes if Tao attempts things that should definitely not be done at his age (eg. illegal things such as drinking, smoking) he’ll just be like “no, not in my sight like srsly not at all but not like I can stop you when I don’t see you??” He doesn’t try to have any extreme control over Tao’s life, either.

He respects Tao as his boyfriend and values very much what they have, really. Like, legitimately — there is no one he’s ever cared about so much in his life. Family are family, and he does have only superficial connections to them. for example, he’s never really felt true affection for his mother even if he gives her kisses and hugs. He knows that she’s his mother, he shows the affection that’s necessary, and then most of the time just goes “ugh, stupid woman” and just has no qualms saying something horrible or careless about her. Not to her face, and not to anyone who’s going to make his life hard with that info, but he has those thoughts… and no trouble at all having them.

So Tao is his first real emotional connection, which he just doesn’t understand how to deal with for the longest time because… he murders people, he has no emotional connection — except to Ignes and to Chrys, who are his best friends — but Tao is different, because he’s never been with anyone in a “relationship” before and actually cared about them in that sense. He stops killing for Tao, because Tao ‘doesn’t like it’ (in the simplest way put). He sets a lot of time aside for Tao, tries to pay attention to what Tao says and what he needs, and .

The issue is, Gradeus has mad issues. He’s not a cold and ruthless killer for nothing. He tried, previously, to keep his two lives (the life of killing and his ordinary social life) separate. But he tried to kill Tao, and just happened failed, and that’s where the line is blurred with one person: Tao. Actually blurring that line made it possible for Gradeus to know that Tao’s seen him like that, and still cares about him — and that’s a big part of why he loves Tao. Because Tao has seen that side of him, and for some stupid reason, comes back and stays with Gradeus. That’s part of what makes it possible for him to reciprocate the feelings. The girls that had liked him didn’t know him for who and what he was, and he looked down on them and laughed at them for it.

Then there’s Tao, who just manages to push his way into Gradeus’ life. Into both of his lives, and still wants to be with Gradeus. Gradeus is just… shaken by this thought, but once he gets used to Tao in his life, he makes a lot of room and changes so many things for Tao. He’s willing to make Tao his top priority — will hurt someone badly for Tao, if Tao needs him to or if he needs to protect Tao. He tries to remember everything Tao tells him, writes down Tao’s birthday and his favourite foods and the movies he likes, just everything. Because really, this is the only relationship he’ll ever get in and be invested in, he’s going all out and he’s going to do his best like he’s never done before.

But back to the problem with blurring his lives: it means the parts of the cold, ruthless killer from his other side comes creeping in. Mixing his lives up is a good thing and a bad thing; it means that Gradeus has some sense that their relationship is valid, and that he’s able to open up, but it also means that he ends up hurting Tao. Because in order to keep the boundaries of his life apart, he made 100% sure that those girls he’d been with before never even had a chance to see the real him. Tao, however, is not so safe from that.

Gradeus gets too comfortable with the first and last person that he loves. He ends up hurting Tao, physically and verbally. And no matter how much he loves Tao and treat him better, it happens again and again. And Gradeus knows 100% in the end that he can’t be with Tao. The first time he really hurts Tao physically, even just briefly, all at once he tries to deny it and to believe that it was a one-time thing, yet he hears that voice in the back of his head telling him that he’s going to it again, he knows he will because he is just that kind of person.

Nevertheless, they weather it out for a while longer. Their dynamic does probably slowly shift. The moment Gradeus moved to establish his dominance in an unhealthy way, even in the smallest of ways, it clearly affects them both. What he’s doing is changing Tao in worse ways, as much as he would like to deny it. He can excuse the small slip-ups, the mild or moderate things that were just the result of a “bad day” or a “bad mood.” It’s easy to say that it was a minor occurrence, and that he’ll change. He’ll be better.

He doesn’t get better. He doesn’t get better, and it’s when Tao is nearly dead at his hands that he’s man enough to take Tao’s copy of the key and to throw it away, and to entirely cut Tao out of his life.

It just wasn’t meant to be. Tao is a normal kid who deserves to have a happy and ordinary life with someone who will treat him well, and someone who won’t hurt him like Gradeus will. Gradeus should’ve known from the start that someone like him isn’t for Tao, whom he sees as something precious and (if he wants to cheesy) full of life. Being with Gradeus is something that’s going to just drain Tao of that life, whether metaphorically or physically. And Gradeus… is not willing to be the one to do that to Tao. He will be the one to break up with Tao. He cares about Tao that much, at least. The day he breaks up with Tao is the first time he cries since he was a child, out of emotions. He’s never had a reason to feel bad about anything or anyone. He just didn’t think he had the capacity. And really, he doesn’t. It’s just — Tao. Tao did something weird to him.

After that, life just changes entirely. He thinks that he’s free of Tao, so he can go back to how he was before. Killing people, getting some kind of pleasure out of it, at least he can have that back… but wrong. It just feels like nothing. In fact, he feels worse. It’s weird, and something he can’t deal with because that’s how he used to let out that other side of him. That’s how he used to relieve stress, and frustration, and anger. So why the hell won’t it work now? Did Tao ruin that life of his, too?

So he throws everything into school and work. He needs to finish his master’s programme, so he focuses on that and increases his work hours even longer. Goals are good, because they keep him fairly grounded. Those two things he makes the focus of his life, slowly cutting off the other people who mattered to him. It’s just weird without Tao. Tao definitely did something to him, something that he can’t explain. And when he’s done with his master’s, there work to keep him anchored… for a while.

He moves on with his life, becoming an architectural manager, moving out into his own home away to another city and trying to move up in his work. Still, something’s wrong.

Then he probably runs into Tao again at some talk, because of course Tao is grown up and big out there in the world of technologies and sciences. He makes the mistake of attending one of the talks, and seeing Tao as an adult. Seeing what he missed out on because he ruined it. Tao may or may not have seen him come and force himself to see the whole thing through. But he doesn’t stick around to find out.

Whatever seeing Tao has triggered in his brain, it’s not a good time. Within some months, Gradeus has made up his mind to go out with a bang. He’s seen all that the world has to offer him, so it’s time to go back to his roots and end it the way that he knows it should. Because Tao has ruined his entire fucking life, showing him what he can’t have and destroying what he did have. Gradeus could’ve had a quiet life, a peaceful one.

Another string of murders start, ten years after the first. He’s inviting the authorities, personally, to come after him this time. Whether or not they can take him up on the offer, whether or not they can find him… that’s a question.

But he’s planning to go out and to leave a legacy behind. One written in a trail of blood.

… okay but seriously I so hate the fact that I ever sent in abusive meme asks @ tao because ugh I literally hate it I never wanted their relationship to go south this way, and they had such cute nice little threads at times, but UGH it’s impossible to not admit that Gradeus is an evil little thing… if I want to properly carry over canon elements of him, then he must be this way, it feels the right way to portray him and any relationship. I freakin’ love the ship a lot but it’s going to die, one way or the other, in the plotline and this… is the best way I see la ug hs  literally if I could give Gradeus a happy ending I would bUT  LITERALLY I CAN’T ROMANTICISE A SERIAL KILLER PIECE OF SHIT CHILD NO MATTER HOW CUTE I THOUGHT HE WAS IN HIS GOOD MOMENTS LIKE FUCK

HE’S A SERIAL KILLER  HE OBJECTIFIES (nonsexually ok let’s not) AND HATES WOMEN

HE ABUSES HIS BOYFRIEND EVEN IF HE AND I LIKE TO SAY “HE DOESN’T WANT TO AND HE’S SELF AWARE AND TRIES TO CHANGE” LITERALLY HE’S ABUSIVE

HE SHOULD DIE F UC K 

ALSO IT’S A GOOD CONNECTION TO HIS VERSE TAG  BC LITERALLY THERE’S NO REST FOR HIM UNTIL HE DIES AND CLOSES HIS EYES FOR GOOD AND GOES TO FUCKING HELL

[coolandreezie]

The Terrible Bargain We Have Regretfully Struck Posted by Melissa McEwan at Friday, August 14, 2009   [Trigger warning.]

Despite feminists' reputation, and contra my own individual reputation cultivated over five years of public opinion-making, I am not a man-hater.

If I played by misogynists' rules, specifically the one that dictates it only takes one woman doing one Mean or Duplicitous or Disrespectful or Unlawful or otherwise Bad Thing to justify hatred of all women, I would have plenty of justification for hating men, if I were inclined to do that sort of thing.

Most of my threatening hate mail comes from men. The most unrelentingly trouble-making trolls have always been men. I've been cat-called and cow-called from moving vehicles countless times, and subjected to other forms of street harassment, and sexually harassed at work, always by men. I have been sexually assaulted—if one includes rape, attempted rape, unsolicited touching of breasts, buttocks, and/or genitals, nonconsensual frottage on public transportation, and flashing—by dozens of people during my lifetime, some known to me, some strangers, all men.

But I don't hate men, because I play by different rules. In fact, there are men in this world whom I love quite a lot.

There are also individual men in this world I would say I probably hate, or something close, men who I hold in unfathomable contempt, but it is not because they are men.

No, I don't hate men.

It would, however, be fair to say that I don't easily trust them.

My mistrust is not, as one might expect, primarily a result of the violent acts done on my body, nor the vicious humiliations done to my dignity. It is, instead, born of the multitude of mundane betrayals that mark my every relationship with a man—the casual rape joke, the use of a female slur, the careless demonization of the feminine in everyday conversation, the accusations of overreaction, the eyerolling and exasperated sighs in response to polite requests to please not use misogynist epithets in my presence or to please use non-gendered language ("humankind").

There are the insidious assumptions guiding our interactions—the supposition that I will regard being exceptionalized as a compliment ("you're not like those other women"), and the presumption that I am an ally against certain kinds of women. Surely, we're all in agreement that Britney Spears is a dirty slut who deserves nothing but a steady stream of misogynist vitriol whenever her name is mentioned, right? Always the subtle pressure to abandon my principles to trash this woman or that woman, as if I'll never twig to the reality that there's always a justification for unleashing the misogyny, for hating a woman in ways reserved only for women. I am exhorted to join in the cruel revelry, and when I refuse, suddenly the target is on my back. And so it goes.

There are the jokes about women, about wives, about mothers, about raising daughters, about female bosses. They are told in my presence by men who are meant to care about me, just to get a rise out of me, as though I am meant to find funny a reminder of my second-class status. I am meant to ignore that this is a bullying tactic, that the men telling these jokes derive their amusement specifically from knowing they upset me, piss me off, hurt me. They tell them and I can laugh, and they can thus feel superior, or I can not laugh, and they can thus feel superior. Heads they win, tails I lose. I am used as a prop in an ongoing game of patriarchal posturing, and then I am meant to believe it is true when some of the men who enjoy this sport, in which I am their pawn, tell me, "I love you." I love you, my daughter. I love you, my niece. I love you, my friend. I am meant to trust these words.

There are the occasions that men—intellectual men, clever men, engaged men—insist on playing devil's advocate, desirous of a debate on some aspect of feminist theory or reproductive rights or some other subject generally filed under the heading: Women's Issues. These intellectual, clever, engaged men want to endlessly probe my argument for weaknesses, want to wrestle over details, want to argue just for fun—and they wonder, these intellectual, clever, engaged men, why my voice keeps raising and why my face is flushed and why, after an hour of fighting my corner, hot tears burn the corners of my eyes. Why do you have to take this stuff so personally? ask the intellectual, clever, and engaged men, who have never considered that the content of the abstract exercise that's so much fun for them is the stuff of my life.

There is the perplexity at my fury that my life experience is not considered more relevant than the opinionated pronouncements of men who make a pastime of informal observation, like womanhood is an exotic locale which provides magnificent fodder for the amateur ethnographer. And there is the haughty dismissal of my assertion that being on the outside looking in doesn't make one more objective; it merely provides a different perspective.

There are the persistent, tiresome pronouncements of similitude between men's and women's experiences, the belligerent insistence that handsome men are objectified by women, too! that women pinch men's butts sometimes, too! that men are expected to look a certain way at work, too! that women rape, too! and other equivalencies that conveniently and stupidly ignore institutional inequities that mean X rarely equals Y. And there are the long-suffering groans that meet any attempt to contextualize sexism and refute the idea that such indignities, though grim they all may be, are not necessarily equally oppressive.

There are the stereotypes—oh, the abundant stereotypes!—about women, not me, of course, but other women, those women with their bad driving and their relentless shopping habits and their PMS and their disgusting vanity and their inability to stop talking and their disinterest in Important Things and their trying to trap men and their getting pregnant on purpose and their false rape accusations and their being bitches sluts whores cunts… And I am expected to nod in agreement, and I am nudged and admonished to agree. I am expected to say these things are not true of me, but are true of women (am I seceding from the union?); I am expected to put my stamp of token approval on the stereotypes. Yes, it's true. Between you and me, it's all true. That's what is wanted from me. Abdication of my principles and pride, in service to a patriarchal system that will only use my collusion to further subjugate me. This is a thing that is asked of me by men who purport to care for me.

There is the unwillingness to listen, a ferociously stubborn not getting it on so many things, so many important things. And the obdurate refusal to believe, to internalize, that my outrage is not manufactured and my injure not make-believe—an inflexible rejection of the possibility that my pain is authentic, in favor of the consolatory belief that I am angry because I'm a feminist (rather than the truth: that I'm a feminist because I'm angry).

And there is the denial about engaging in misogyny, even when it's evident, even when it's pointed out gently, softly, indulgently, carefully, with goodwill and the presumption that it was not intentional. There is the firm, fixed, unyielding denial—because it is better and easier to imply that I'm stupid or crazy, that I have imagined being insulted by someone about whom I care (just for the fun of it!), than it is to just admit a bloody mistake. Rather I am implied to be a hysteric than to say, simply, I'm sorry.

Not every man does all of these things, or even most of them, and certainly not all the time. But it only takes one, randomly and occasionally, exploding in a shower of cartoon stars like an unexpected punch in the nose, to send me staggering sideways, wondering what just happened.

Well. I certainly didn't see that coming…

These things, they are not the habits of deliberately, connivingly cruel men. They are, in fact, the habits of the men in this world I love quite a lot.

All of whom have given me reason to mistrust them, to use my distrust as a self-protection mechanism, as an essential tool to get through every day, because I never know when I might next get knocked off-kilter with something that puts me in the position, once again, of choosing between my dignity and the serenity of our relationship.

Swallow shit, or ruin the entire afternoon?

It can come out of nowhere, and usually does. Which leaves me mistrustful by both necessity and design. Not fearful; just resigned—and on my guard. More vulnerability than that allows for the possibility of wounds that do not heal. Wounds to our relationship, the sort of irreparable damage that leaves one unable to look in the eye someone that you loved once upon a time.

This, then, is the terrible bargain we have regretfully struck: Men are allowed the easy comfort of their unexamined privilege, but my regard will always be shot through with a steely, anxious bolt of caution.

A shitty bargain all around, really. But there it is.

There are men who will read this post and think, huffily, dismissively, that a person of color could write a post very much like this one about white people, about me. That's absolutely right. So could a lesbian, a gay man, a bisexual, an asexual. So could a trans or intersex person (which hardly makes a comprehensive list). I'm okay with that. I don't feel hated. I feel mistrusted—and I understand it; I respect it. It means, for me, I must be vigilant, must make myself trustworthy. Every day.

I hope those men will hear me when I say, again, I do not hate you. I mistrust you. You can tell yourselves that's a problem with me, some inherent flaw, some evidence that I am fucked up and broken and weird; you can choose to believe that the women in your lives are nothing like me.

Or you can be vigilant, can make yourselves trustworthy. Every day.

Just in case they're more like me than you think.

...As I lie awake at night wondering what happened to the light hearted, easy going, flirty girl I once was, I read this and understand. I am angry and also saddened. Trust is important in order to live a complete life. To feel that trust from people you love, and depend on, makes life a secure and happy place. No trust, no security, erodes your very being. Soon, you become someone who you barely recognize. Someone who questions everything. One who decides to do nothing. Who is scared and just plain tired of fighting so hard for respect and dignity.Who trust no one.