#because she needs me specifically. When I was hired here I thought it was because of my stellar resume and high skills but no turns out she
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hedgehog-moss · 4 months ago
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Last spring my neighbour asked if I could let Pirlouit mow the grass around his barn from time to time, which Pirou was happy to do at first but if I left him there several days in a row he got pretty sad about being alone (lots of wistful, melancholy braying). So this year when my donkey was hired for this job again, I went for a different formula: for the past few weeks I've been bringing all the animals to the neighbour's barn for an hour of landscaping services now and then at apéritif time.
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The fence is extremely not Pampe-proof so I have to have my apéritif while sitting on the road in a strategic position from which I can toss a stick in her direction if she tries to escape, but other than that I've been really enjoying this peaceful evening ritual, just sitting there reading and watching the animals while feeling like I'm doing my neighbour a favour. Pirlouit doesn't get all the grass to himself anymore but I've learnt that he prefers to be rich in friends than in food.
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You'll notice that Merricat is present in every photo, looking alert. She too has been hired, but for the thankless job of Thought Police. She may look like she's just napping on the warm asphalt with not a care in the world...
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... but she is working! Keeping an eye on the llamas, always.
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I've discovered that in a specific context my three cats can act as precogs and warn me of Pampe's future crimes. My theory is that they developed this skill because of Poldine, who loves cats. Any cat who enters the pasture will soon be noticed and (lovingly) chased by Poldine, who wants kisses. Cats not only do not want llama kisses, they don't differentiate between individual llamas. They are all potential kissers. So even if it looks like she's all relaxed, Merricat is constantly monitoring where the llamas are and what they seem to be planning. If we are on the other side of a fence and Pampe approaches it a bit too slyly, Merricat will jump to her feet, ready to flee (and I will toss one of my anti-Pampe sticks, and say NON.)
Merricat and I are a very good team! We've foiled several of Pampe's plots, but we need to be on the road for Merricat to remain wary (if we were in the pen Pampe's escape attempts would involve getting away from us and the cat wouldn't care.) Cars are rare so it's okay (plus it's so quiet you can always hear them coming), and on the few occasions when someone showed up and asked why I was having apéritif on the road, I pointed at Pampe and they were like, "Ah! Didn't see her here. Good luck!"
"Hedgehog-moss, you're exaggerating. Pampe can't be that—"
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She is! She is. And she always seems to notice when Merricat is on a bathroom break and I'm absorbed in a book.
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There was one evening though, when she got distracted by a fascinating new idea. I don't claim to know what's going on in this llama's head (except when she's looking at a fence, then it's easy) but as you can see, once I brought the animals to the barn Poldine started eating flowers, Pirlouit started eating grass, and Pampe started eating the wall.
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After a moment she slowly circled the barn, then stopped and lay down right next to it, settling down in a comfortable position but with focused ears and her head still turned towards the wall. It was suspicious behaviour, but on the other hand she now looked so uninterested in the road that I decided to take a risk and run home to bring back some dinner—and she didn't move while I was away! I even brought Pandolf, who is usually banned from these soirées because he would disturb my Merricat alarm system. He was happy to be finally included.
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It's unclear if Pampe was eating the wall, talking to the wall, or carefully examining various parts of the wall as Step 1 of 27 of a complex plan only she understands, but she stuck close to the barn all evening instead of lying in wait by the fence so I was able to have a picnic in the grass rather than on the road, which felt more bucolic. I know that "Pampérigouste has a new, mysterious project" is a worrying sentence but at this early stage (feasibility study) it felt to me and Merricat like a little holiday!
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bluethedream · 2 years ago
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final working day of 1401, over :)
#sabi's words#If there's actually anybody reading these I mean the final workday of 1401 this year in the solar calendar#so. I told my boss I'm gonna quit. She asked me why and I said it's too much for me to work and study at the same time and that I need a#break. And she looked at me liked I'd grown horns. (everybody looks at me like that when I say it. What#What can't a 21yo catch a break? Can't a 21yo get tired? Is it such a foreign notion? I have cardio problems at this age and have burntout#Mentally emotionally and physically so of fucking course I need to catch a break.#Anyway.#She said 'you're going you have energy at least work this summer just 3 days a week'#And I repeated myself that I won't and it's too much and I need to take a break but then she turned away and told me to reconsider it and#that she'll talk to me about it later#but I know I'm not gonna reconsider and no amount of raise or less working hours is gonna convince me to stay at this job that has taken.#everything. Everything. From me.#It's made me depressed and anxious and took away my confidence and sense self worth and given me heart problems and digestion problems and.#the list goes on.#I wanna think that I'm a valuable asset to her as everyone around me says I am and that that's why she's asking me to stay even for 3measly#Months but I know she's short on work force and needs people to stay here and is only asking me to stay because she needs work force. Not#because she needs me specifically. When I was hired here I thought it was because of my stellar resume and high skills but no turns out she#was also short on work force back then.#ugh. Anyway. Bottom line. I'm gonna be broke but I prefer that to staying in this place.
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youraverageaemondsimp · 1 year ago
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“Be Quiet.” // DILF!Aemond Targaryen x Babysitter!Reader // PART ONE.
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THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR 500 FOLLOWERS! (+200 now) so here is the awaited fic, celebrating a milestone <3 based on this poll, dilf aemond won at the end haha 💞
MDNI
WARNINGS: unprotected p in v sex, dubcon(?), oral (both f and m.), blowjob, cum eating, cum play(?), breeding kink, multiple orgasms, age gap (9ish years), DILF aemond, single father aemond, power imbalance(?), throat fucking, cunnilingus, lots and lots of kissing, + not proofread
WC: 7.1k (yeah...)
« part two // 🎄 special »
Getting fired from your job while trying to pay rent and gathering tuition fees isn't exactly ideal, you wanted to pursue a bachelor's degree after high school, but you didn't have enough money, coming from a family that was barely held by, nor were you eligible to apply for student because there were legal issues.
You moved out of your parents not wanting to financially burden them anymore, renting a decent apartment with just enough space for you to call it a 'home' you've been working for the past 2 years, a decent paying job but it was enough to get by and save up on the fees too, everything seemed to be going perfect until you suddenly got fired and your landlord decided to increase the rent.
You knew you'd have to cut into your savings to pay rent now, but you didn't want that, you halfway there to your goal, you were expected to get promoted and get higher pay, you calculated it, that it would only take one more year for you get enough amount to pay for the first few sems, and then maybe you'll be able to apply for a student loan by then.
But fate had different plans, and here you were on your couch scrolling through multiple apps to find any type of job, extremely desperate.
And that's when you saw it.
“Babysitter needed.” you thought how perfect of a job it would be considering the degree you wanted to so badly was based in psychology, child psychology specifically, and interacting with kids will probably give you some type of experience?
You quickly clicked on it and found the contact number, and decided to call it, you bit your lips nervously hoping they'd pick up.
“Hello?” you heard a cool voice say which sent shivers down your spine.
“Hello- yes uhm, Hi! I am calling because I saw the post on the app that said you needed a babysitter for hire?” you stumble over your words and mentally facepalm yourself for it.
“Yes, indeed. Are you interested in applying?” he asks and you quickly reply with a yes.
“Do you have any prior experience?” he asks and you reply with a quick yes, you've babysat a few kids throughout your highschool era for quick cash, as a way to not rely on your parents for menial things.
“Mhm alright, I don't want to bring your hopes up by saying you got a job, I'd like to have a personal interview first, if you do not mind.” he says and you say, thanking him and he hangs up the call.
You were fucking shaking.
It felt like applying for the first job of your life all again, the nervousness, the anxiety, the everything.
Aemond had saved your phone number and sent it to his assistant, Floris, asking her to run a background check on you, and to see if you had any criminal background, he read your name on the file that got delivered to him, sipping on his coffee while he scanned through your details.
You just turned 21, recently.
‘So young’ he thought, ‘Let me guess, she's probably looking for jobs in order to afford education.’ he guessed and he was exactly on the money with that one.
He wasn't that old himself, barely 30
He inherited his father's business at just age 23, being the only one capable of handling such pressure, his elder siblings couldn't stand a chance against him, and since then, he's maintained the Targaryen name perfectly.
He remembers falling in love with a woman older than him, he was 24, she attended one of the business parties he dreaded going to, Alys rivers was her name, they dated for 2 years before deciding to pace things up and get engaged since everything was going perfect for both of them.
Until Alys got pregnant, Aemond was overjoyed when he heard that news, but he didn't know that the child would suck the life out of her.
She died giving birth to their son, and he was devastated, being heart broken by her death, however he never once blamed his child, it was their choice to birth him, and it failed miserably.
But 3 years had passed since her death and he had moved on from her death, ready to love once again, yet it was extremely hard to find someone that wasn't after his money.
He knew he couldn't just live in the misery of heartbreak, and Alys would've wanted him to move on too.
His son, Aenys, recently turned 3 too, he inherited Aemond's purple eyes and silver blonde hair, typical targ features, but he saw how the softness of his nose, sharpness of his eyes resembled his mother.
But back to you at hand, he went through all your papers deeming you fit for the interview, he called a day later telling you the address where the interview would be held, his office.
Yes, his fucking office, as if you were applying for a job at his company, he justified it by saying that you were technically his employee.
When you got out of the taxi and looked at the company in front of you, it finally clicked in your brain that your employee was none other than Aemond Targaryen, and it only made your anxiety worse.
You went to the receptionist and told her your name, and she typed it in, giving you a small smile, telling you that you were exactly on time. She called his office to tell you that you were here and led you to his office. You looked around and noticed how big this company was, a bunch of employees working in their cubicles, typing away.
“Mr. Targaryen?” she called out and you heard a small ‘come in.’ Before stepping inside and pushing the door open for you to enter, you did and she stepped outside, closing it gently behind you, leaving you alone in the room with the man.
Aemond hadn't looked up from his files until the door closed, and when he did, he felt his breath caught in his throat.
“You may sit.” he says and you nod, sitting across him on the opposite side of the table, you felt so small under his gaze, it was so intimidating but you put up with it.
He began the interview by asking questions about yourself, and all relevant things, but there was one question that caught you off guard.
“Do you have a boyfriend?” he asks and you furrow your brows, “Excuse me?” you question, noticing how odd of a question it is.
“Don't get me wrong, the previous babysitter had one, and she used to bring him to the apartment and…” he cleared his throat and you immediately caught on to what he was implying, “Oh! No! I do not have one, and even if I did I would not do that!” you reassure him and he gives you a nod.
He was fucking lying.
But you didn't know that.
The previous babysitter was an old lady, who Aenys liked a lot, but sadly she had to leave the city.
“I hope you know that you're expected to work full time? I leave for the office at 9AM and return back at 7PM, and you'll need to be ready to work those long hours, and sometimes I might not even return till late at night if there is extra work.” he says and you nod, and before the question can leave your mouth he cuts you off.
“Do not worry, you'll be paid for those extra hours.” he confirms and you nod smiling at him.
And then came your terms, which he agreed to, he made you sign a one year contract, and you did it without hesitation.
Frankly the pay was so high you would barely need to work 6 months to reach the full amount, but you still did an extra 6 months considering how having extra money at hand doesn't hurt.
And with a handshake, he accepted you.
You were practically going to spend most of your awake time with the kid, it sounds hectic but the pay was too good to pass up on, I mean, $80 per hour? fuck yes, you'd be having around $230k by the end of the contract. Aemond was filthy rich.
It was finally your day to go to his house and you already knew it was going to be big, but you were still shocked when you arrived to the destination, it was a 20 minute drive from your house, and it was located in the richest neighbourhood to exist in the city, you felt embarrassed getting out of your taxi at an area where everyone probably had their own cars, heck, a collection of them even, but you paid the fare and the guard got up to question you, you told him and he quickly nodded before letting you inside.
It was early in the morning, you came quickly so Aemond could show you around the house and introduce you to his kid, you stood there nervously as you rang the doorbell, Aemond had checked through the security camera before the door opened, revealing the house interior.
You quickly stepped in and he closed the door behind you. You expected him to have maids and a bunch of staff, but you were surprised when you found none. No wonder he asked if you can cook, you'd probably be doing all the work here besides the cleaning.
“Aenys is in his playroom, let me take you there.” he says cooly and you follow him, taking in your surroundings.
He opens the door to the playroom and you immediately find a kid, who you assumed to be older than 2, playing with his dragon toys, making rawr sounds, and yelling the word ‘dracarys.’ you smiled at the cuteness.
Aemond cleared his throat which caught the attention of Aenys and he smiled brightly before he jumped in his arms, “Papa!” he yelled, before he turned his attention to you and looked at his father in question
“Hey aeny, do you know how the previous babysitter had to leave town?” he asks gently and Aenys nods, “And papa needs to be away for work top right? So I got you a new babysitter who will take care of you.” he points towards you, explaining and Aenys looks at you tilting his head slightly
“Hey, Aenys.” you give him a small, waving your hand, he shyly waves back before he hides his face his fathers chest, you chuckle at the cuteness.
“I'll go give her a house tour okay? And then I will visit you once again before I leave, have fun darling.” He says and puts his son down, and Aenys looks at you once again, inspecting you, observing you, you smile at him once again, and this time he gives you a shy smile.
Aemond leaves the room and you wave a quick temporary goodbye to Aenys and follow him.
“Aenys, doesn't have a mother, or at least he had to grow up without one” Aemond randomly begins and you look at him confused. “My fiancee-” he sighs before halting his footsteps, “She- she had died while giving birth to him.” you watch as he takes deep breaths, “It's okay if you don't want to talk about it now, we have a lot of time anyway, just open up to me when you are ready, sir.” you tell him and he looks at you, giving you a nod and resumes the house tour.
It was fucking big.
Just like he said, he visited his son once more before leaving for work and the entire day you spent it with Aenys, getting to know him, observing his behaviour.
You noted that he was extremely shy at first but then he eventually warmed up to you, he still had his guard up of course since you were fairly new and a stranger in his life, you introduced yourself and he did the same.
He showed you all his toy collections, which you were genuinely fascinated by, he had so many dragon figurines and remembered each one by their name, his favourite was vhagar.
“It waass papa's once, when he was jus like mee.” he babbled cutely, the way he pronounced the words were so cute too, you swear you could die at it.
“Vhagar belonged to your papa?” you felt awkward saying the word papa, but you knew you had to considering that it was the term Aenys was used to, he nodded, smiling.
“Yesh! He gwave it to meh.” he says and you smile.
Aenys had quite a developed vocabulary for his age, though he pronunciation was a bit off, but you knew it would improve with time.
And just like that, you and Aenys grew close, he was always cheery to see you, you cooked and looked after him, feeding him vegetables in a way he would enjoy, and Aemond was surprised when he found out, considering Aenys refused to eat vegetables.
You put Aenys to sleep one day, singing him a lullaby and caressing his hair as he fell asleep in his bed, he watched you with big doe eyes, which were slowly beginning to get droopy as sleep overcame him. He closed his eyes and his brows were relaxed. You sat there for a while, watching him sleep, and you look at the time, 8PM, Aemond was running late, but you didn't mind, by the time he usually fell asleep, Aemond would've been there, listening to you sing to his son and when he finally fell asleep, you would leave, politely saying goodbye to Aemond, but this time you had stayed, since Aemond was late.
You noticed how Aenys eyebrows furrowed before you saw tears coat his eyelashes
“Mam… mama… I want mama...” he mumbled in his sleep and you swear you felt your heart wrench at that, then you heard small sniffles.
He was crying in his sleep.
Is this what usually happens after you leave? You felt extremely sad, you remember how Aemond had told you that Aenys grew up without a mother, how she had died during childbirth. You never really thought about it much but you realised how tough it must've been for Aenys, then suddenly you remembered all the times you played together or watched cartoons, how he would say the word "mother" longingly when he was referring to a mom dragon, or how he stared in a daze when a cartoon showed a mom taking care of his child.
He was beginning to notice an absence of a parental figure in his life.
You were snapped out of your thoughts by the sniffling getting louder, and Aenys was beginning to borderline cry out, you quickly picked him up and carried him, pacing around the room gently as you patted his back, his hand clung tightly onto the sleeve of your arm and he rested his cheek on your shoulder.
“Shhh, Aenys, it's okay.” you try consoling him but he kept repeating the words 'I want mama, mama.' in his sleep over and over again.
Not knowing what to do, you began to feel bad, so you did what you thought was the best.
“Aenys, Mama is here, it's okay hush now..” you coo gently into his ear and that's when he finally stops sniffling, 'mama?' he mumbles and you hum, “Yes, it's mama, do not cry anymore okay? Mama is here.” you caress his hair and he finally relaxes, you were so entranced in comforting him that your brain managed to ignore the presence of Aemond himself, who had arrived when you picked him up and paced around in a panic, he was going to interfere but then he heard you say those words.
You stopped dead in your tracks when you noticed him, heat climbing up your face as you realised he probably heard everything and also you were stricken with fear too cause you likely overstepped.
You gently placed Aenys down on the bed and got out of his room, anxiety coursing through your veins as you realised what you had done
But you were only trying to comfort him.
Aemond soon followed you out the room as well and you turned around to face him when he closed the door.
“I apologize— I'm so sorry—” you began.
“Don't. It's fine, I can understand why you did that.” he cuts you off, and you wince.
“He- he's been noticing.” you began and Aemond nodded, “I've noticed too.” he replies and sighs.
“Aenys has changed a lot since you've started babysitting him in a good way , and I've noticed it, he's becoming more and more aware of the world around him.” He moves to the living room, sitting on the couch and you do the same, sitting on the one opposite to him.
“I've made sure that he never felt a lack of anything in his life, but I guess it's only natural for a person to desire something he can't have.” he says.
“Aenys can have a mother, if you remarry, that void will be fulfilled somewhat.” you suggest and he looks at before chuckling “I've thought of that too, my mother said the same thing, but i cannot trust anyone, especially considering how many are after my money, who knows if they'll be kind to him, or whether Aenys will like them or not.” he sighs.
“That is true.” you agree with him and he looks at you.
“Unless… ” he begins, eye scanning your entire being and you look at him, your heartbeat quickening, just as he was about to say something, your phone rings and it cuts off the trance-like state you were in, and you look at it to see who it is.
It was a spam call.
But then your eyes bulge out of your sockets when you look at the time, “Holy shit it's late, I'm sorry sir but i have to leave now, or else it will be too dangerous.” you say and quickly apologise and he nods, dismissing you. That was the first night, sleep came to Aenys peacefully.
But it didn't to Aemond, he was lost in thought about everything, but then his mind wandered off to somewhere it shouldn't go.
The way you comforted Aenys stirred something inside you, the moment was perfect, you cooing in Aenys' ear that you were here, pretending to be his mother.
It was so perfect.
Almost as if you were made for that.
Aemond felt his heart flutter.
For the first time in years.
He couldn't help but accept the pull he felt towards you.
Aenys doesn't seem to remember the incident, probably cause he was literally just sleep talking so it was left at that, but you and Aemond however grew a bit close after that incident, he came back home early as he can, so he could spend time with his son and you, he was subconsciously trying to get his son used to both of them being around, both present in his life as parental figures.
You obviously weren't able to leave early just because he got home early because those were your mandatory hours, so it became your new normal to spend time with him and Aenys.
You couldn't deny that there was something definitely blooming in between you and Aemond, he would often throw appreciative comments in your way, which made your belly pool up with heat.
You noticed how he wanted to stay by your side, physical touch lingering, he had suggested that you 3 should go grocery shopping, and you found it odd considering he could literally order his clients to fetch them for him, but you agreed anyways, using it as a chance to get outside and let Aenys interact with other people. Aemond was heavily against sending him to the daycare, because he was scared for his son, it was understandable but it also set Aenys behind a bit.
“Mama, I want this!” you hear a kid yell at his mom and you watch as she refuses it gently, telling him no and that she will buy him the next time they come back here, and the kid just pouted, you chuckled at the sight.
You turned your attention to Aenys who was staring at the scene too, and you realised how he was in a daze once again as well, you looked at Aemond who also seemed to notice.
Aenys quickly ran in another direction and you panicked and almost ran after him before he was back in front of you again, grabbing the same toy the other child had grabbed earlier and showing it to you. “Ma-” he cut himself short before pushing the toy to show you “I want this!” he says and Aemond was confused at first and he was about to agree to buy that toy for Aenys until you butted in, “No Aenys, we can't buy it right now! We'll buy it next time when we come back here okay?” you say and he smiles sheepishly at you, before pretending to pout and put the toy back in a random shelf.
You chuckled at the childishness, he just wanted to feel the same type of experience that others do. Aemond knew it was just you both playing around, he didn't miss the way Aenys almost called you his mother, and it spurred him on further, the way you acted as a genuine mother.
Those type of random moments became often, and it pushed Aemond further and further to the edge, the way you would act like such a perfect mom made him want to bend you over any surface and fuck you, filling you up with his cum.
Aemond then suddenly started joining for lunch, he would usually eat at his office, but he made extra effort to drive home so he could eat with his 'family.' He loved your cooking, you made it taste like home, he would watch as you cut smaller pieces of fruits and vegetables for Aenys so he could properly chew and eat. He imagined how perfect you would be as his wife and like an official mother to his child, or better, children, all of these small things were pushing him to the edge
And soon it would push him off it.
Aemond cursed himself when he drove through the rain, already running late, he looked at his watch and read the time, it was 10PM, the meeting in the afternoon stretched over two hours long which set back the rest of his schedule by a lot, he quickly parked his hair before making his way inside his house, open the door with the extra key carried before shutting it close.
“Look Aenys! Dada's here.” he heard you say and he was immediately spun around, he didn't expect you to stick around this long, but then he realised it was raining heavily and you always went by taxi, there probably would've been no taxi available in this weather.
“Aenys didn't go to sleep yet?” he asks, undoing the suit he was wearing before throwing it on the couch, approaching both of you, taking Aenys into his arms.
“He wanted to wait until you got home, he was worried for you, though he seems tired hmm.” you pinch his nose playfully and he scrunches it up, “I'm not twired…” he says but then yawns earning a chuckle from both you and Aemond.
“I'll put him to sleep, you go freshen up.” you say and Aemond nods, giving him back to you.
Fuck everything about that interaction felt too domestic.
And Aemond had lost his resolve.
He found you sitting on the couch, scrolling through something, he sat down next to you.
“What are you doing?” he asks and you look at him, “Trying to book cabs, but there are none available at the moment due to the weather.” you sigh before placing your phone down.
Aemond should've offered to drive you home but instead he offered to let you stay.
“You know you can stay over, I do not mind it.” he says and you look at him “Really? I don't wanna be a bother—”
“Oh please, you are never a bother.” he cuts you off and smiles at you. “You should freshen up for the night, you've been here since morning.” he says but you pout. “I do not have any clothes.” you say and he simply shrugs, “You can wear mine.” he pushes the buttons, wondering how far he can get away with it, he knew offering you to let you stay at his house already broke the employee boss relationship, hell, the moment he desired you was when it already broke.
“Mhm okay! Where is the guest bathroom?” you ask and he shakes his head, “The water heater is broken in that one, it's better if you use the attached bathroom in my room.” he says.
The water heater wasn't broken.
He was lying.
And you believed him.
He watched as you got up and made your way to his room, which was right next to Aenys', considering he has to react if something happens to him, he followed you inside opening the cupboards and giving you his hoodie and fresh pair of boxers which you thanked him for.
He left the room to give you privacy, but oh gods his mind was racing with all the thoughts.
He paced around, trying to contain himself, and he stood there in front of the door.
And then you opened it.
His hoodie reached to your thighs, and you looked at him, shocked to find him in front of the door, lips parted.
He snapped.
He quickly pushed you inside and shut the door behind you, slamming his lips against yours, and kissed you fervent hunger, you stumbled back and you almost fell but he caught you by your waist and pushed deeper into the kiss, moving his lips hungrily against your.
He pulls away, silently giving you a way out if you need it.
You should refuse this.
You should push him away.
But you don't, instead you wrap your arms around him and pull him into a deeper kiss, he groans when he feels you kiss him back, he pulls away once again, before grabbing you by your arm and pushing you onto the bed, making you fall on your back, your hoodie rising up, revealing your stomach, which he kissed lovingly before he pulled the hoodie even more further up, exposing your tits and pressing kisses to the nipples, causing you to gasp.
He pulls the hoodie off of you completely, and you raise your hands to assist him, he pulls off his shirt too, exposing his naked chest, and you bite your lip at the view, next he takes the boxes off you, doing the same, leaving you both completely bare to the room.
He pushes you upwards to the bed and crawls on top of you, kissing your face, neck, collar bones and valley between your breasts, his hands grab the flesh of your tits before he kneads them, massaging them, thumbs flicking the nipples making you arch your back.
One of his hands trails down to your core, dipping into the heat, he outright moans when he finds you practically leaking, collecting the arousal and bringing it upwards your bud. Rubbing small circles which makes you gasp.
He pulls his hand away and brings it up to lick at the wetness that has accumulated on the fingers, humming in satisfaction before he pressed kisses which travelled downwards until his mouth stopped right at your core, giving a small kiss to it to, you shivered when you felt his hot breath against it, the way the air he exhaled would hit your clit. He kissed the inner part of your thighs first, making you needy with want, wishing he'd just take you into his mouth.
And then he does, his tongue strides upwards from your opening to your clit, giving you one long lick before he captures your clit with his mouth, suckling on it, causing you moan his name loudly, both of his hands wrap around your thighs and he pulls them further apart, his fingers digging into the flesh as he hungrily devours your cunt, tongue flicking the bud constantly, you grip his hair and buck your hips, practically rutting against his face, you felt his tongue travelling down and lick at the wetness, the tip of his nose pushing against your clit, you felt your core tighten as the movement of his tongue sped up, causing you to topple over the edge and your orgasm hit you like a truck, making you whine loudly.
He greedily licked everything up before he placed wet kisses on your thighs, the residue of your wetness sticking to them before he sat back on his knees between your parted legs, you watched as he got up slightly, making his cock come into view.
Your eyes widened slightly, which didn't go unnoticed by Aemond, this stroked his ego very much.
He was big, bigger than any you've seen before, it was pale with a tip that was flushed pink due to the blood pumping, oozing precum out of it, he pumped his cock in his hand to ease the area, coating his dick in his own precum before he positioned it against your entrance, you bit your lip in anticipation but then you felt him slide against your folds, covering his dick in your wetness as well before slapping your clit with the tip of his dick, making you whimper.
He then lined himself against your entrance and pushed in, and you arched your back at the stretch, it was so delicious, you felt so full.
He leaned on top of you and gave you a passionate kiss, you could taste yourself on his tongue, making you taste the tanginess, he supported his weight on his elbows which were on either side of you, gripping yours, fingers intertwined with yours. You were locked in a missionary position, a position that felt intimate.
Then you felt him move, thrusting in and out at a brutal speed, causing you to moan his name, the thrusts made you jolt up the bed, breasts bouncing due to the force emitted from it, his grip tightening as he grunted on top of you, rutting into your wet heat, his hair dropped his shoulders, cascading around his face, and you gasped at how godly his looked like this.
Then you felt his tip hit your gspot, constantly, which caused you moan extremely loudly, “Fuckk! Ahh~ Aemond!” you mewled, closing your eyes and throwing your head back, his hand left one of yours to cover your mouth as he continuously slammed into you.
“Shh, be quiet, or he'll wake up.” he whispers, referring to Aenys who was sleeping in the next room and you nodded, you felt him pull his hand away but his thumb traced your lips, you opened your mouth which made him put his thumb inside and you sucked on him, and you felt him groan, then he pulled it out, hand going back to grip yours, and you bit your lip to hold back your moans from slipping out.
You felt your core begin to tighten again and it snapped once more, causing you to arch you back, pushing your breasts against his chest and he muttered 'fuck' feeling the way you clenched around him.
His thrusts begin to grow sloppy and lose their rhythm, indicating that he was close, “Fuckk, I'm gonna cum inside you.” he says and you whine, “I'm going to get you pregnant, watch you grow round with my kid…” he growls, thrusting into you again and again, “You're going to give Aenys little siblings, You will, right? He looked so lonely, I think he'd appreciate that.” he grunts and you nod quickly, mind too hazy to even comprehend or acknowledge the complications behind you agreeing to this.
“Good girl.” he says before he finishes inside you, and paints your walls white, shooting up his seed far into you, riding his orgasm out.
You felt him pull out and thought that was the end until he pushed you over onto your back, and sat on his knees, he grabbed your waist and pulled it up, and you immediately switched to supporting your on your knees as you arched your back, stretching like a cat, your hands on the side of you.
He groaned when he watched his cum drip down your thighs before he scooped it up and put it in his mouth, tasting your combined essence.
He was still hard.
So he wasted no time, shoving himself back inside you and you whined at the way your walls felt overstimulated, not knowing if you can handle one more orgasm consistently.
He sheathed himself inside your walls, and moved with fervent speed like before, his balls slapping against your thighs, the room was filled with erotic noises, he gripped your waist for support, until his hand travelled slightly upwards, catching one of your tits before gripping it tightly, and rolling the nipple in between his fingers.
“I can't wait to watch them swell.” he grunts.
“You'd look so pretty with my child in your belly, the way your tummy will swell? Gods fuck, that is a vision.” he moans
“Look at you, taking my cock so well, like you are meant to.” he notes, thrusting in and out, watching as the previous cum leaks out.
He clicks his tongue
“So much is going to waste, tsk, it's okay I'll fill you up again, make sure you get pregnant.” he groans and you moan, “Ye-yes fill me up.” you say, and he smirks at that, “Good girl, taking my cock like one.” he leans against you, your back pressing to his chest as he leaves kisses on the back of your neck, and you once again, topple over the edge for the third time.
He finishes too, inside you again.
You both fall besides each other on the bed, and realise the weight of the situation after the adrenaline and excitement of the moment fades away and the breathing becomes more stable.
“I- fuck.” Aemond begins not knowing what to say and you lay there quietly.
“Listen, ever since that day you walked in, I felt some type of pull towards you, I wasn't sure what it was, but it was as if we were meant to me, and I couldn't ignore the feelings brewing inside me.” you watch as he speaks.
“I- to put it in simple words, I fell in love with you. I really did, though it's fine if you do not share the same feelings, we can go back to pretending this never happened.” he confesses.
“I am in love with you too.” you confess, “I pushed these feelings away, because it wasn't appropriate.” you say and he looks at you this time.
Silence falls between you two.
A comfortable silence.
He pulls you closer and wraps his arms around you, hugging you, and you hug him back, the he places loving kisses atop you.
You felt something hard pressing against your inner thighs and you looked down, shocked to find him hard again, you chuckle.
“Again?” you tease and he playfully glares at you, “Yeah, you're so fucking irresistible.” he kisses your neck, hips mindlessly grinding against you. “I'm so sensitive.” you pout, but you get an idea, you quickly push him onto his back before getting on top of him, and then crawling down in between his legs, before taking his cock in your hand.
“Fuck!” he moans when he feels your warm hand wrap around it, before you gently tug on it, pumping your hand up and down, watching as the precum leaks out, you collect some with your tongue, poking the slight hole making him groan and grip the side of your head.
You trail kisses down to his balls, before giving them wet kisses as your hand pumps his cock, you lick a long stride up his length before taking him in your mouth, as best as you can, hands resting on his thighs to balance yourself.
You bob your head up and down, swirling the the tongue around him, pulling away time to time to breath before descending onto him once again, the grip on the side of your head tightened and you watched as he sat up slightly leaning on his elbow, before his hips thrusted upwards, and so you let him take control.
He collected your hair into a makeshift pony before gripping the back of your head tightly and thrusting his entire length into your mouth, the tip teaching the back of your throat, making you gag slightly, causing tears to well up in your eyes, you closed them and tried to breathe through your nose as he thrusted upwards and fast, essentially fucking your throat.
You felt him twitch slightly in your mouth, knowing he was close, you sucked him and hollowed your cheeks, he threw his head back at that, he felt steady pleasure rising within him before such a force expelled from his body, causing him to peak, shooting out ropes and ropes after cum into your mouth, you felt it hit the back of your throat, causing you to swallow unknowingly, before he slightly pulled out, cause the remaining to fall in your mouth.
He pulled out completely and watched your face, flushed and hair dishevelled, you held his cum in your mouth, waiting for his command, “Swallow.” and you did, obeying him, opening your mouth to show that there was none left, he groaned as he watched the remnants of his seed drip from the side of your mouth before he collected it with his index finger and shoved it back into your mouth, and you click his finger clean, he grunted before you upwards and kissing you, tasting himself in your mouth, hands squeezing your ass before he gave one of them light slaps, causing you to wince.
You pulled away and breathed heavily, he smiled down at you, before he left the bed to clean both of you up, collecting the clothes and getting dressed before he pulled beside him in the bed, going to sleep while hugging your form.
You dreaded the next morning, wondering how you'll explain your relationship to Aenys, you woke up to an empty bed, you read the time, it's was just 8AM, you felt sad but then you quickly got up and went outside finding Aemond and Aenys awake, sitting at the table conversing, your heart warmed at the sight, Aenys spotted you and ran over to you, lifting his arms up, asking you to silently to carry him, and you did, you picked him up before placing a small kiss to his forehead.
“Mama!” he said and you froze, before you looked at Aemond, who gave you a small smile and nodded and your eyes softened at it, it seems he had done the explaining.
“Mama! Mama!” Aenys grabbed your face making you look at him and you chuckled, “Yes Aenys, it's mama.” you say and he smiles brightly.
“I'll go get ready for work.” Aemond says, getting up from the spot he was sitting on and coming over to both of you before he pressed a kiss to Aenys forehead, and doing the same to you and going inside his room and getting ready.
You put Aenys down on his chair and went to the kitchen to prepare breakfast, you made simple eggs on toast, and just on the time, Aemond came out of his room, looking all ready and you placed three plates down, along with fruits cut into small pieces of Aenys.
“I made breakfast.” you say and Aemond smiles at you, before sitting down and the three of you ate breakfast.
Applying for this job was the best thing you've ever done.
Who knew your life would change the course of it in the span of just a few months.
There were other things to discuss, and you knew it was plaguing Aemond's mind as well, but you both decided it will be best if discussed later and so you both basked in this moment, listening to Aenys babbles.
“So i hwave a mom now rightt?” he asks Aemond who nods, “Are you happy?” he asks and Aenys nods quickly, “Yesh! Aenys is wery hwappy! But…” he trails off and you feel your heartbeat quicken.
“I want a sibling too…” he murmurs
Oh gods.
Your eyes flickered over to Aemond who stared at you, you blush and look away as you remembered the details of last night.
“I wwant a swister… ! or a bwother!!! Hmm any is fine…” he babbles on, not knowing what he is asking for.
You look at Aemond again, who didn't seem to take his eye off you at all.
He smirks.
Oh fuck.
You quickly get up and collect the empty plates before going behind the kitchen counter and placing them in the sink, washing your hands, focusing your attention on them, until you felt arms wrapped around your waist before one trailed upwards towards your breast giving it squeeze, you quickly looked up to see Aenys was watching until you realised he was nowhere to be seen.
“He's in his playroom.” Aemond whispered in your ear, grinding slowly against your ass.
“Heard that? He wants a sibling so badly, surely you can't deny him right?” he asks, pinching your nipples through the fabric causing you to gasp.
He places kisses down your neck, before he spins you around and kisses you on the mouth, making you wrap your arms around his shoulder. He pulls away before kissing you on the cheek.
His phone rings and he notices the time, 9:15AM, he was running late which was the first for him, and it was his assistant calling him.
“Fuck, mood spoiler.” he grunts before shoving his phone back in his pocket before placing a kiss to your mouth once again.
“Don't think I'm done with you yet, it's gonna be one hell of a ride when I get back home.” he presses one final kiss to your neck before pulling himself away from you, granted it was so fucking difficult considering how he wanted to fuck you on the kitchen counter just moments ago.
You nod and follow him to the front door.
“Have a nice day, Aemond.” you say, and he smiles at you, coming to kiss you but then Aenys comes running towards you both.
“Is dada going to work?? BYE DADAAA” he screams and Aemond chuckles, before waving a small 'bye' to Aenys, and leaving from the front door.
He barely left and he already couldn't wait to get back home from work.
And you gulped, nervous in anticipation.
Oh seven hells.
———
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missmatchablossom · 7 months ago
Text
summary: you finally got hired to work as a teacher for your dream school, jujutsu high. everything was perfect until you ran into gojo satoru, your first love and heartbreak.
a/n: angst + fluff, female reader. this is the first time I've written a story more on the angsty side, so please let me know if you like it : ) I was feeling angsty after listening to eternal sunshine and bam this story suddenly came to me
tags: @kenqki @sad-darksoul
~
When you caught a glance at that familiar shade of blue, you froze. That specific hue was a color you avoided at all costs, the color of heartbreak and dreams you never followed.
He looked at you, and suddenly you were 18 again. It was simultaneously the best and worse year of your life; the year you fell in love with Satoru, and the year he left you. 
Your heartbeat felt sickening in your own chest as he walked towards you, his eyes widened and jaw slacked as if he were in a trance. Like he hadn’t expected to see you again.
It’s not like you thought you’d see him again either. You had told yourself that even if you did, it wouldn’t hurt, because you’d moved on. It had been years since you gave up on him, so you should be feeling nothing as your first love came to a halt in front of you, gazing at you as if you were the only thing that mattered to him.
It didn’t feel like nothing, though. It felt a whole like despair, relief, and joy warring with each other, causing your fingertips to tremble as if your body couldn’t decide which emotion to settle on.
“Long time no see, Gojo,” you said, attempting to offer a warm smile. Though the tremulous note to your voice must have betrayed how you were truly feeling.
He frowned ever so slightly when you said his name, like he wasn’t used to you calling him by his last name. It was formal and cold - when things between you two used to be anything but. 
“You’re here,” he said, though it sounded like he was saying it to himself rather than talking to you. 
“Ah, Gojo. I see you’ve met our newest hire. She’ll be working with your students for the summer, I imagine you two will be working together closely,” the principal said. But Gojo wasn’t looking at him. You still felt the heavy weight of his gaze, like he was scared you’d disappear if he looked away.
“Why don’t you two grab lunch together? Gojo can catch you up on his students,” the principal said. So why did your body go rigid at his harmless suggestion?
“Sorry, I have to make a phone call during lunch! Gojo, feel free to email me any details I need to know,” you said quickly, smiling before you darted towards the courtyard.
You cursed yourself for running away, like a coward. What was there to be afraid of? He was someone you loved years ago, and time washed away any lingering feelings you had for him…right? 
At least that’s what you’d always told yourself. But maybe deep down, you feared some of those feelings would never go away. And that they’d definitely resurface if you let yourself be near him, if you let yourself remember how much he used to mean to you. How badly he hurt you.
You shook your head, hoping the crisp morning air would wash some sense into you. This position was your dream job, and you weren’t gonna let your past demons take that away from you. You could be civil, you could work with him like the mature adult you were. It would be okay.
~
“I wonder if our new teach would tell me where she gets her lipgloss?” Nobara asked aloud, walking in step with Yuji and Megumi as they filed out of the classroom.
“She’s really pretty,” Yuji said, smiling cheesily. It was a buzz amongst all the students actually, how beautiful the newest teacher was. The students warmed up to her quickly, captivated by her knowledge and how easy she was to talk to. 
“Gojo always looks like he’s in a trance whenever he sees her,” Megumi said, making his two companions snap their attention to him.
“Do you think they’re dating?!” Nobara nearly yelled, her eyes widening comically.
“Maybe not. They both look kinda sad when they look at each other and they think the other person isn’t looking,” Megumi noted, looking deep in thought.
“Woah, you’re so observant. Maybe they’re exes, I heard they knew each other when they were younger,” Yuji said.
“Eh? No way sensei could pull someone like her,” Nobara said.
~
Two weeks have passed since you began teaching, and you loved it. Plus, you’d managed to have as minimal contact with Gojo as possible. Things would be fine after all.
You stepped into the teacher’s lounge, eager to grab your bag and head back home now that the day was over. But your bag wasn’t on the hook where you usually hung it up. When you turned around however, Gojo was leaning against the doorframe, taking up nearly the entire frame.
“Can I help you with something, Gojo?” you asked politely, willing your heart to settle down at his proximity.
“Can we talk?” he asked, and there it was again. The inexplicable feeling that swarmed your senses whenever you heard the sound of his voice, no matter what he was saying. Your traitorous body responded to it no matter how much you told it not to.
“Um, tomorrow might be better during our free period! I’m actually looking for my…” you began, stopping your sentence as Gojo used two fingers to effortlessly lift your heavy bag.
“I’ll give this back to you when you agree to have dinner with me. Tonight,” he said, flashing a boyish smile at you that was oh so painfully familiar. 
“You can’t be serious,” you said, crossing your arms as Gojo took another step towards you. He was so close, and much taller than you remembered. He seemed to take up the entirety of the room you were in, making it harder to breathe and think clearly.
“I thought you knew me better than that, tea. I absolutely am,” he drawled, and the butterflies in your stomach swarmed at the mention of his old nickname for you. Hearing it used to fill you with love and light, because he began calling you the endearment after learning how much you adored tea. He’d often show up at your door with your favorite drinks, happily indulging in your obsession. 
You blinked the memory away, refocusing your gaze back to the man in front of you. 
“This isn’t funny,” you said, reaching towards your bag. He lifted it up and out of your reach easily.
“What isn’t funny is how you’ve been avoiding me since you got here. Why can you barely look me in the eye?” he said, the slight hurt in his voice hitting your heart. Your eyes darted around the room in a panic before you answered.
“Can you really blame me? We don’t have the best history,” you said, your voice coming off harsher than you intended. 
“That’s what I want to clear up. Just hear me out this once, please,” he said, his tone softening as he spoke. You hated it, how quickly you could feel yourself giving into him. After a beat of silence, you spoke.
“Just this once,” you murmured, your voice barely above a whisper. 
There it was. That familiar, triumphant upturn of his lips. 
~
You second guessed your choice as you walked towards Gojo’s car - a sleek, navy luxury car you remember he’d gotten for his 18th birthday. But there was no way he didn’t have other cars by now, so you couldn’t help but wonder if he picked this car today on purpose.
He swiftly opened the door to the passenger seat, allowing you to slip in before he slid into the drivers seat.
There was something undeniably intimate about being alone in the car with him. Being in such close quarters meant you could smell the cologne clinging to his skin, the minty remnants of the mints he always carried with him. You felt bespelled watching his long fingers wrap around the wheel, blushing as he wrapped his arm around your headrest and leaned towards you to look behind him as he backed out of the spot. 
A memory flooded towards you. Of a freshly 18-year old Gojo excitedly picking you up in his shiny new car, nearly getting you into a car crash as he carelessly spun the wheel in his excitement. You’d given him a firm talking to about him being careful, and he smiled at you sheepishly before he walked you to get ice cream. 
The sound of buttons clicking pulled you from your reverie. You watched wordlessly as Gojo set the seat warmer to the lowest setting and turned the ac up to 71, the exact settings you used to switch them to whenever you were his passenger princess.
“Is that still how you like it?” he asked, casting you a quick sideways glance before returning his eyes to the road. You wondered if you imagined the hopeful note to his voice.
“Yes,” you answered quietly. 
Oh , I definitely still like it, you thought, eyes roaming across Gojo’s figure as he drove. His seat was leaned back to make room for his long legs, and he kept one hand on the wheel as he drove with the elegant ease he must’ve developed in your time apart. It was stupid, how attracted you still were to him.
You didn’t miss the way Gojo glanced at you ogling him, the corner of his lip tipping up like it so pleased him.
~
You followed Gojo into a gorgeous restaurant that you were undoubtedly underdressed for. A smartly dressed man greeted the two of you immediately, leading you to a table right in front of the floor-to-ceiling windows. It offered you a gorgeous view of the skyline, the soft glow of the sunset making the silverware sparkle. 
You couldn’t help but look around in confusion at the quietness of the restaurant - save for the nice host, you were the only ones there.
“I booked out the place for the night. So we could catch up in peace,” Gojo said easily, as if that were something normal to do. You couldn’t say you were too surprised though, as he had the same penchant for spending and the fortune to back it since he was younger.
“Of course you did,” you said, shaking your head as you smiled to yourself.
Gojo leaned forward in his seat, studying you like you just performed magic.
“I’ve missed that smile of yours,” he said softly. It wasn’t fair, the way the last bits of sunshine of the day lit up the gold  flecks in his eyes. The way his hair nearly shone silver, making him look otherworldly as he told you he missed you. 
“I don’t know what to say to you, Gojo,” you said, forcing neutrality into your tone. But as soon as you spoke the words, you could hear how sad they sounded.
“Do you hate me?” he asked, sounding like his younger self once more. 
You met his eyes, releasing a deep breath as you did your best to offer a smile.
“I don’t think I could ever hate you,” you admitted, watching the way his shoulders eased ever so slightly.
“But you hurt me,” you said, voice barely above a whisper.
“I was ready to stick out long distance when you moved away. You stopped answering my calls, responding to my letters. I tried reaching you for months before I gave up, Gojo. There was no goodbye, no explanation. What was I supposed to think? How do you expect me to greet you with a smile now as if nothing happened?” you said, your voice cracking towards the end. 
“I know we were 18 and stupid, but I…” 
I loved you. You were everything to me. And no matter how much time had past, how much you dated around, no one ever compared to you.
You shook your head, unable to get the words out.
It would forever be fresh in your mind, the day you found out Gojo was being shipped off to a different country by his stupid family to train. 
The devastation was overwhelming. You curled up in your room, crying into your pillow as Gojo sat silently on the edge of your bed.
“Do you really have to go?” you sniffed, though it didn’t sound like that, with your throat clogged with tears.
Gojo laid beside you, pulling your back to his chest as he held you and buried his face in your hair.
“I don’t have a choice, tea. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” he whispered, his voice breaking off at the end. You turned around, wrapping your arms around him as he held you brusingly tight. You rubbed his back as you felt his tears hit your shoulder.
After the cry you both needed, you faced each other silently, as if you were committing each other to memory.
“I won’t give up on us. I’ll call you everyday to bug the hell out of you,” he said, giving you the first lopsided smile of the night.
“For how long, though?” you said sadly, feeling the hope leeching out of you with each word you said aloud.
“For as long as it takes for me to become the strongest. And for you to become the teacher you’ve always wanted to be. I’ll come back for you,” he promised, lacing his long fingers through yours. There was hope alight in those eyes of his, convincing your own hope to stay.
“You promise?” you asked, sounding so much more like a young child than you wished.
“I promise.” he said, and you kissed him then. There was something so magnetic about him, the type of person that made you want to believe anything was possible. But you hadn’t known that would be the last time you kissed.
You had no way of knowing that your boyfriend would keep up with his promise for a month, and then suddenly leave you with nothing. He stopped responding to your letters, stopped his calls, stopped reminding you how much he loved you. The only time you ever heard about him was when the news featured his growing talents.
The sound of Gojo’s voice ripped you away from the memory.
“You have every right to be upset with me,” he began, his cerulean eyes betraying his grief.
“Was there someone else?” you asked before you could think better, cursing yourself.
“No,” he said forcefully, wincing like it hurt him for you to think that.
“There was never anyone else. Never,” he said, and you couldn’t help the relief flooding your chest.
“They got in my head about you. Convinced me that I was holding you back, that you could never focus on school enough to become a teacher good enough to teach at Jujutsu High if you were in a long distance relationship with me. I thought I was doing what was best for you,” he said, his voice low and regretful as he spoke. 
The man across from you blurred as tears filled your vision. You spent months agonizing over the possible reasons he would abandon your relationship, and your young, heartbroken self was convinced it had something to do with you. That he found someone, and suddenly you weren't his cup of tea anymore. Never did it cross your mind that he thought he was doing you a favor by ghosting you.
“God, Gojo. Why didn’t you just talk to me?” you cried, doing nothing to mask the grief in your voice. 
“I knew you’d tell me that it was incredibly stupid of me. And I know it was now, but back then I thought it would be easier if I made the choice for you. You deserved to have your full focus on pursuing teaching,” he said solemnly, lifting a hand towards your face as if he were going to wipe your tears, but laying his hand back down like he thought against it.
“You’re right, that was incredibly stupid of you,” you said, heaving a deep breath as your swiped the last of your tears.
“But I get why you did it. I just wish you would’ve included me in that choice, because you know what I thought? I thought if you could discard me, discard us that easily, that I must’ve not meant as much to you as you meant to me. That you didn’t love me as much as I loved you,” you said shakily, a single traitorous tear falling down your cheek.
Your emotions overwhelmed you as you saw his eyes begin to shine with unshed tears - a sight that hurt you as much as it did when you were both 18.
“I never stopped loving you,” he said, his voice hushed as he made the confession.
It felt like you were no longer in your own body as emotions assaulted you all at once. Happiness, relief, confusion, devastation. They warred with each other, and you didn’t know if the burst of nerves you were feeling was panic or excitement.
“You don’t mean that. Maybe you still love who I was when I was 18, but things are different now. I’m different,” you said, watching as Gojo shook his head softly.
“You’re right. You have become even more beautiful than I remember,” he began, and you knew you had lost. This wasn’t a game, but somehow you still lost.
“I’ve seen the way you work with the kids. I’m in awe of how confident and capable you’ve become. But I’ve also seen what hasn’t changed,” he said, leaning towards you with the light back in his eyes.
“Your tenacity. Your kindness. Your intelligence. Your drive. The way your eyes light up when you teach, the way you see the best in people. That’s how I fell in love with you, and I know thats still there,” he said, looking at you with the kind of reverence you forgot existed.
You closed your eyes as you failed at calming your thunderous heart. 
“I can’t do this, Gojo. I can’t put myself in a position to be hurt by you again,” you said, casting your eyes down in your lap. You couldn’t bear to see defeat in his eyes.
You jolted as you felt the soothing, painfully familiar touch of his hand over yours. 
“Look at me,” he pleaded softly, coaxing your eyes back towards his. When you met them again, they were filled with warmth, and you believed it. That he still loved you.
“You don’t owe me anything. I’ll stay out of your way if that’s what you want. But I’m not taking back what I said. I’ve loved you since before you were mine. And I always will.” He finished you off by lifting your hand to his lips, a gesture you were still a used to be a sucker for.
~
In the days that followed, Gojo consumed your every thought. It didn’t help that you worked so closely, and it especially didn’t help to see how good he was with the students. He goofed around with them more than a normal teacher would, but he taught them earnestly. No matter how much they complained about his antics, you could tell your students loved him.
It also didn’t help when he began leaving your favorite milk tea on your desk before the start of every school day, earning you a “wow teach, you must really love that tea shop,” comment from Yuji.
It was slightly embarrassing, but you couldn’t deny how much it brightened your day to see that cup of tea sitting on your desk, knowing how much Gojo still thought of you. And it didn’t stop at tea.
Over the course of the next month, your favorite flowers began showing up with your tea. Sometimes, instead of flowers it was your favorite candy. Gojo never lingered around to hand them to you himself, just giving you sweet smiles and waves whenever you locked eyes. You knew it was his way of giving you space to choose, and no matter how cheesy it was, it was working.
~
It was about 3 months after that dinner that you found yourself sitting with the principal for your quarterly one-on-one. You were pleased to hear the praises of your work and the positive feedback he’d received from students regarding you, but something in particular he said had you shaken up.
“I knew you and Gojo would work well together. You both had very moving reasons for wanting to teach here,” he said casually.
“Moving reasons?” you pressed, feeling like you were on the verge of something.
“Oh, yes. I was highly impressed by your years of dedication and experience, you were an obvious choice. But Gojo didn’t have much teaching experience when I hired him, it was really his reason for teaching that sold me on him,” he answered. And you didn’t know why, but your pulse grew uncomfortably quick.
“He told me that teaching helped him feel close to someone he loved. And that person taught him how powerful a good teacher could be,” the principal said. There was a beat of silence, followed by the screeching sound your chair made and you sat up suddenly. You apologized and excused yourself, rushing towards a certain office door.
Your movements were too quick for your thoughts to catch up. You just knew you had to see him.
He wasn’t in his office. Not in his classroom, not in the teacher’s lounge. That sickening panic began invading your senses, reminding you that it wasn’t the first time you desperately searched for Gojo and couldn’t find him.
But you pushed past it and kept walking. You walked until you reached the outer edge of campus, spotting a flash of silver hair atop a hill that overlooked the school. 
You ran towards it like your life depended on it, huffing and puffing until you finally locked gazes with the most beautiful eyes you have ever seen. Though the eyes that normally regarded you with warmth were unusually widened with concern as Gojo ran towards you.
“Hey, whats going on-”
“Why did you become a teacher?” you said, struggling to catch your breath. Gojo looked stunned for a second, staring at you silently as he waited for you to continue.
“Why did you decide to work for Jujutsu High, out of all the high schools in Japan?” you continued, watching as his expression turned pensive. But his eyes shone with all the words he’d yet to say.
“I didn’t intend on becoming a teacher. I just gave it a shot one day, because I knew how passionate you were about it. And I loved it,” he said, staring out wistfully towards the lecture halls.
“As for why I picked Jujutsu High,” he began, turning his body towards you again. He walked to you, stopping until there was barely a step of space between your bodies. 
“I picked it because I knew this was your dream school to work at. I hoped I would see you again if I worked here,” he admitted, smiling sadly. You shook your head in disbelief.
“This was my dream school when I was 18. What if I changed my mind and worked somewhere else? What if I didn’t even become a teacher?” you said frantically, searching for a crack in his resolve.
Gojo reached out, cupping your cheek in his hand. You had no choice but to tilt your head up to meet his, feeling new emotions flooding you at the look in his eyes.
“Doesn’t matter. The thought of seeing you again is what has kept me going all these years. Even if I mean nothing to you now,” he breathed, removing his hand from your cheek. He stepped away from you, giving you the space you realized you no longer wanted.
You didn’t know if you wanted to laugh or cry at this new revelation. But you did know one thing; you wanted Gojo Satoru. You wanted another shot with him.
Before you could talk yourself out of it, you launched yourself at him, wrapping your arms around him tightly and burying your face into his chest. He smelled like mint and summer and everything good with the world as his arms immediately came up to hold you to him.
He released a shaky breath as he held you, like he couldn’t believe he’d get to do it again.
“Of course you still mean something to me,” you whispered through tears you didn’t realize you were shedding. Gojo gently pulled back from your hug, capturing both your face between his hands. He swiped his thumbs gently against your tears, that reverent, warm gaze back in those eyes of his.
“What should I make of that, tea?” he asked, tucking an errant strand of hair behind your ear. You realized how much you missed his touch, how you’ve longed to feel his smooth, porcelain skin against yours again.
“You’re gonna have to work reallyyyy hard if you want me to fall in love with you again,” you said, smiling as his eyes widened and his jaw slacked.
Liar. It wouldn’t take much at all.
“You’re giving me another chance?” he said incredulously. You nodded shyly, smiling as Gojo awarded you with the most brilliant, heart-stopping smile. The kind that crinkled his eyes at the corners, the kind that stretched his cheeks, the kind that you had no choice but to mirror.
The breath left your body as Gojo lifted you up by your hips, swinging you around in a circle like the last scene of a Disney movie where the prince and princess reunited. 
It felt like a weight was released from your shoulders as he spun you around, the two of you laughing like teenagers again.
“Thank you,” he whispered, pressing a soft kiss to the top of your head.
~
“They have to be dating, there’s no way they’re not!” Nobara exclaimed, walking to get food with the other first years after class.
“Gojo sensei follows her around like a puppy. I could actually see hearts in his eyes when he looks at her! I swore I even heard her call him Toru,” Yuji said, him and Nobara nodding to each other intently.
“Maybe. Our new teacher has been looking really happy lately,” Megumi said.
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squoxle · 6 months ago
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Hi ! Could you write something where like y/n is sucking or playing with heeseungs dick & she just got her fresh nails done and they’re pretty and EVERHTING & she poses with heeseungs dick and adds a bow …
(Sorry for taking so long to respond to your request)
French Tip ~ L. HS
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pairing: sugar-daddy!bf!heeseung x babygirl!gf!reader| wc: 1.3k | plot: after getting your nails done, you're excited to show Heeseung your fresh, new set. | cw: 🔞MDNI!! blow job, boob job, hand job, basically touching his dick in every way possible and snapping a few pictures lol bc why tf not (there're also a few cute moments hehe)
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Having your boyfriend pay for your nails was nothing out of the ordinary to you. He did this almost every week, or whenever else he thought they should be done.
Sometimes you would ask for his input, but today was not one of those days. You wanted to surprise him with a fresh, natural-looking set.
French Tips...
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"When you finish getting your nails done, send me a pic. I wanna see what they look like," he said before kissing you on the cheek. You could still smell the scent of coffee from this morning in the air.
That alone was addicting enough, but when the scent of his Channel cologne was mixed in only one thing was on your mind. And that was getting back in bed with him. Or at least pleasing him while he tells you how pretty you look.
"Okay," you smiled softly as you looked into his sweet doe eyes. You pulled the gold chain of your black clutch bag over your shoulder as you headed out the door.
You would've loved for him to take you to your nail appointment today, but he had some business to take care of at home. To be specific, he had a very important meeting over Zoom with a few of his colleagues concerning a very important business deal, which he made crystal clear to you the day before.
Before heading to your appointment, you stopped to place an order for some desserts. Heeseung planned to have a business party next week and he left you in charge of the food.
"Why do you want me to do it? Can't you just hire someone else to take care of this," you asked, not because you had a problem with it, more so for the reason that you were honestly curious.
"Well, you have good taste," he smiled.
"Mhm, sure I do."
"Well, that and you taste good," he smirked, pulling you close to flick his tongue across your lips.
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You took a sip from your water bottle as you walked into the beauty salon. "Good morning, Dear. Are you here for your 9 o'clock appointment?" Mrs. Yanez asked from behind the desk.
"Yes, ma'am," you smiled.
"Alright, I'm just gonna log you in," she said as she clacked away at her keyboard. "Do you know what you want to do today?"
"Yes, I'll need a full, fresh set along with a mani-pedi."
"Did you want a massage as well?"
"No, that's alright."
"You sure, it's 30 percent off today. Plus you've accumulated a total of 1500 pretty points with us."
"Hmm, well I'll definitely use those points another day," you smiled. "And as much as I would love a discounted massage, I kinda wanna get back home a little early today."
"Ooh, Mr. Lee must be home today," she teased.
"Yes, he is," you chuckled.
"Well, then I won't keep you waiting any longer," she smiled before pushing a small black button. She often reminded you of the tía-sobrina relationship you never had. You could talk to her about anything, and trust me...she wanted to hear it.
"Right this way, Miss," a masked employee nodded as you followed her to the back. You giggled as Mrs. Yanez playfully waved to you with a smirk on her face.
You sat down in a soft leather chair as you explained what look you were going for today. "I would like a natural-looking set. Almost like French tips, but with natural shades."
"So no white tip?"
"Well white like the color of my natural nails," you explained pointing to the whites of your nails.
"Okay, perfect. I can do that for you. Gloss or not gloss?"
"Gloss," you smiled, as the lady turned around to pick from the colors on her shelf. A nude color, an off-white color, and a pale yellow--which she mixed with the white to match the natural color of your nails.
Having a custom color mixed made your nails feel pretty unique. Plus, this was a style you never tried before, so you were excited to see how they'd come out.
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After about 45 minutes you were ready to go. Two people ended up working on you which sped up the process.
"Tell Heeseung I said hello," Mrs. Yanez smiled as you walked out.
"I will," you chuckled as she waved to you.
You climbed into your car before heading over to a nearby boba shop to pick up some drinks. Matcha for you and brown sugar for him. You liked extra boba and he liked extra syrup. These were little details you could never forget.
*Click* you snapped a shot of you holding the brown sugar boba because it looked better with your nails, even though it was for Heeseung.
Within seconds he opened the message and hearted the pic you sent. "They look nice, babe," he texted. You were surprised he even said that much.
"Maybe his meeting hasn't started yet. Or maybe they canceled it," you thought to yourself. Either way, you couldn't wait to get back home.
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"Heeseung?" you called out as you stepped out of your shoes. Your car keys, clutch bag, and phone balanced between your fingers as you carried both of the drinks over to the counter. You had drunk about a fourth of your by the time you made it home.
You placed yours on the counter as you walked into his home office.
You knocked softly as you opened the door. Heeseung didn’t say a single word, but the look on his face told you everything. “I’m a little busy right now, babe. You can come back later, okay.”
You paused in both shock and embarrassment for a moment before a cheeky smirk appeared on your face. You closed the door behind you before walking over to his desk.
He was trying his best not to look at you, but you could tell he wanted to.
You placed his drink on the desk next to him before crawling under the desk. As professional as Heeseung tried to be at times, he loved wearing his sweat pants and you liked them too.
They were comfortable and made pulling his dick out so much easier.
You fiddled around with his drawstring causing him to wiggle a bit from your touch before you managed to get his dick out. You felt him harden between your palms as you stroked him up and down. That's when an idea popped into your head.
You pulled your phone out and snapped a shot of his tip against your tongue. You placed your phone down beside you as you began to suck him off. You felt him lean forward slightly, trying his best to contain his excitement.
You kissed the head of his dick to give him a chance to readjust himself. You could hear the voices of his colleagues coming from his computer as you continued to suck him off. You pulled back to unbutton your blouse using your tits to take the place of your hands as you jerked him off.
*Click* you took another pic of his dick nestled in between your tits.
You traced your tongue up the length of his shaft before taking it back in your mouth. It wasn't long before you heard him getting ready to end the call.
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You looked up at him from under the desk. "Couldn't wait until after my meeting," he asked with a smirk.
You shook your head no as you continued to bob your head on his cock.
"Did you at least enjoy yourself?"
"Hmm...almost. I still feel like I'm missing a little something."
"And what would that be?" he asked cheekily, though he was fully aware of what you wanted...especially after you opened your mouth to tap his tip on your tongue.
He grabbed your head, shoving it down as he pumped himself into your mouth. Just as he was getting ready to cum he pulled your head back to coat your tongue.
*Click* He took a photo of your sitting between his legs with his cum all over your tongue and a dazed look on your face.
He paused to tap away at his phone before sending a pic of you with a bow edited on your head looking completely cum drunk.
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❀ Thank you all so much for reading! Make sure to check out other works on my masterlist!
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❀ 𝚃𝚊𝚐𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚝: @chlorinecake @mimikittysblog @nikisvanillaccola @wonbinisbabygurl @mrswolfhard3 @laylasbunbunny @sussyjake @furious-eagle @cherrriesss @abbyizzy @weyukinluv @addictedtohobi @thatonenoona @wavykook @givemeyourtmihyun @jaeljn @hoonmywk @valennshit @19-yunalyn @hoonbby @frostedblankets @hoonsyo @no-mannerism @perfectxserendipity @chubbibish @ihrtlix @bunniesforsoobin @thereadersparadise @thatbooknerdfr @aiden2001 @belongstoheeseung @jakeybabe @donut-crazs @rizzhee @nikimeows @woonieees @uarmyxtae @rebecca-johnson-28 @they2luv1naia @isa-2007 @silcry @riverscafe @pearlwhitesoul @nikohiroshi @thatbooknerdfr @wonniewonwon @sughoonieeee @babyy-bambii @adrika04 @sehunsharpasseyebrows @wtfyangjungwon @fr-3-akn-4-stymf @rikiloversworld @shawyle @sunoosrightbuttcheek @uarmyxtae @lovesickxmina @urfavberry @urauntiefaye @breadlover01 @taehyunsfavmo
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f1byjessie · 10 months ago
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A PICTURE IS WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS ━━ LN4.
sometimes the right words are hard to come across, and sometimes everything you need to say can be captured in an image.
( lando norris x photographer!reader )
━━ part one.
INSTAGRAM.
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tagged: landonorris
yourusername a smiley lando is the best lando in my books! to celebrate the end of the 2023 season, here's a handful of my favourite photos from throughout the year!
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mclaren What a happy lad! We can't wait to see that smile again in 2024 😁🧡
↳ yourusername you and me both! 🤝🧡
user she's got the dream job omg
↳ user IKR??? imagine just getting to follow lando around and take pictures of him all day, i'd be dead within the first hour
↳ user he'd smile at me and i'd be asking “what are we” on god 😩😩😩
↳ user is that literally all she does??? she just follows him around and takes pictures??
↳ user there’s probably a technical term for what her position is and i just don’t know it, but bc there’s so much going on around the track at any given moment, sometimes the press and other media workers are focused on something or someone else, so she’s hired on by mclaren to specifically focus on mclaren to make sure that there is content for mclaren or mclaren sponsors to use. she’s not just lando’s photographer, she also takes photos of oscar, the pit teams, and the other staff that work in the garage, but she was hired on when lando started so her portfolio is pretty full of him. hope this helps!
user didn't know i could need so much orange in my life but here we are
user LANDO NORRIS SUPREMACY
oscarpiastri i see who the favourite is 🫤
↳ yourusername you literally SAW me picking photos for your post too
↳ oscarpiastri yeah but you posted his first 🫤
user guys this is the face of the 2024 wdc winner take it in now
user i could write a 50 page thesis on the importance of these photos and what they mean to me and how the serotonin they make me release could replace my depression meds
user lad’s like a mini danny ric with how smiley he is
landonorris best photog right here folks
↳ yourusername you're only saying that bc i always get your good side
↳ landonorris i'll have you know that all sides are my good sides 🤨
↳ yourusername whatev helps you sleep at night luv 😊
In 2019, when you took on the job of being McLaren’s lead photographer, you hadn’t expected it would garner you the amount of attention it has, or that it would slingshot your career to levels of success you never could have anticipated, or that you would get a best friend out of it.
When you first met him back in those early days, you’d thought Lando Norris was an arrogant, pretentious, self-righteous prick who thought he was hot shit because he was a Formula One driver. However, he’d quickly proven you wrong when he’d admitted to you that a lot of the confidence was an act━ carefully constructed to hide his insecurities about his performance both on and off the track.
“I mean, we’re drivers, yeah?” He’d said. “But we’re also actors. We’ve got these personas that we have to uphold even out here on the paddock, and I’m always worried I’m not playing the part well enough.”
It hadn’t made a lot of sense to you then, you thought he was pulling off the persona of Total Douche remarkably well, but in Shanghai, things changed.
After the Chinese Grand Prix, things were dour. Lando had DNFed━ the first in his Formula One career━ which contrasted greatly with his previous accomplishment of P6 in Bahrain. Carlos Sainz hadn’t been doing very well, either, and it didn’t paint a very pretty picture for McLaren so early in the season. You’d thought he’d throw a hissy fit, tear Daniil Kvyat apart for his role in the crash, or at the very least throw some shade his way, but he hadn’t done any of that. He’d accepted his fate with grace, joked to the media about how boring the race had been because of what had happened, and then gone on to congratulate Carlos for at least finishing.
What was even more shocking, was that despite his disappointment and the frustration he must’ve been feeling, instead of going back to sulk in his lonesomeness or drown out his feelings with booze and loud music at some club, he’d comforted you later that evening.
The morning of the race, as you’d been getting ready in your hotel room, you’d gotten a text from an unsaved number admitting to you that they’d been taking part in a months-long affair with your boyfriend but had been previously unaware that he was already taken and therefore wanted to let you know to clear their conscience. You’d managed to hold yourself together then━ mostly because you’d already done your makeup and, quite frankly, didn’t have the time to sob it all off and then attempt to salvage it━ but as the day drew to a close and the adrenaline of the race and its excitement wore off, and with nothing else to keep you distracted, you were struggling to keep yourself composed.
Lando had somehow noticed in that weirdly perceptive way of his that something was off, and he’d sat with you, asked what was wrong, and listened when you━ through tears━ explained the situation to him.
“He sounds like a total fucking muppet,” he’d commented after you’d said your piece, and he’d done it with such a deadpanned expression that it had startled a genuine laugh out of you. Because yeah, you’re (now ex) boyfriend had been a muppet.
After that━ and after all the rom-com and ice cream binging you’d both done in his hotel room afterward much to the chagrin of Lando’s nutritionist and the displeasure of his PR officer━ you’d rescinded your initial judgment of him. He was significantly less dickish than you’d originally thought, and it let you finally understand what he’d meant when he’d talked about putting on a persona.
The cocky, know-it-all prick that Lando pretended to be half the time was all just an act to hide his overly self-critical nature fueled by his insecurities.
By the end of the season, he’d gained a little confidence of his own and had subsequently toned down the assholery when he no longer needed to “fake it til he makes it,” and you were calling him your friend.
It’s 2023 now, and he’s since been upgraded to best friend status━ a role he takes very seriously, and constantly reminds you of.
“I’m your best friend━” case and point, “━you have to come to Bali with me. Literally, like, what am I gonna do without you there? Do you expect me to just go by myself? What if I get lost? Or what if somehow the mafia, who have unknowingly had a hit out on me for years, track me down there and I’m kidnapped and ransomed off for billions of dollars? What will you do then?”
“You just want me to take pictures of you,” you answer, rolling your eyes only because you know he can’t see you through the phone.
He gasps in mock offense. “I cannot believe you think I value you so little! I want you to take pictures of me and be here to help me make fun of awkward tourist spray tans so I don’t feel like a total asshole for being the only one who laughs.”
You laugh at that. “Well, unfortunately laughing at bad fake tans doesn’t pay the bills.”
“But taking pictures of me does.”
“Yeah, when McLaren is paying.” You turn back to your laptop, a photo put on pause mid-edit splayed across the screen. It’s of Lando, as most of your photos tend to be despite your attempts at keeping things even between the McLaren boys. It’s the last of the images you need to send over for their 2023 sendoff, and when it’s finished you’ll officially be without work for a painstaking two months. “I’m on break too, technically, until they need promotional shit for the new season.”
He huffs, and you can almost imagine the childish pout on his face. “What are you even doing, then?”
You hesitate, not because you don’t want Lando to know about your winter plans, but because you don’t really know how he’ll react, which means it could be anything between genuine happiness for you and congratulations, or abject horror and feigned screams of anguish. He’s always been dramatic like that, but even more so now that he’s comfortable enough with you and himself to have crawled a decent way out of his shell.
Even still, he’s your best friend and it would make you a pretty shitty person if you didn’t tell him.
“Believe it or not,” you start, wringing your hands together, “but Manchester City actually hit me up with an inquiry. Asked if I’d be interested in working with them on a project documenting their training throughout the winter months. I said I would love to.”
He pauses for a good long moment, and you prepare for the screaming, but all he says is━ “Man City? You traitor. I thought Man United was our forever!”
“Be so fucking real right now, Lando Norris,” you answer, laughing as you do so. You’re relieved, at least he hasn’t gone the feigned anguish route, but you also can’t tell if he’s happy for you or hiding his true feelings behind humor like he’s prone to doing. “You know damn well you only watched them for Christiano Ronaldo and he hasn’t played with United since 2009.”
“Technically he played for them in the 2021-2022 season,” he grumbles.
“Yeah,” you deadpan, “and he was dogshit. We both agreed to pretend it never happened.”
He groans, “I can’t believe this. My day is ruined and my disappointment is immeasurable.”
“Oh, get over yourself. It’s only for the winter. I’ll be back in McLaren Papaya by February when they need me snapping shots of you and Oscar next to the new livery,” you promise.
The reality is that it’ll probably be sooner. McLaren has always been good about getting you back at HQ pretty quickly, either to get some snapshots of the beginning of Lando and Oscar’s pre-season return or to just capture some material of the engineers at work to promote their readiness. You understand why they can’t keep you around all year━ no Lando and no Oscar means no you━ and with the sheer amount of content you capture and edit for them throughout the season, they’ve got enough to last them the handful of weeks you aren’t working.
Unfortunately, you aren’t working with a driver’s salary to keep you sustained over the break and rent certainly hasn’t been getting cheaper. In past years, your bank account has been chirping with crickets when you’ve returned to work after the winter, and that was before your landlord had decided to make your life a living hell.
You have an important job, but it’s by far the most important, and sometimes sacrifices have to be made. Working in sports media taught you that early on.
“Who knows?” Lando’s voice snaps you back. “Maybe Jack Grealish with his perfect hair and perfect calves will steal you away and you’ll be in sky blue forevermore.”
You laugh, “Jack Grealish is a happily taken man, and although he does have perfect hair and perfect calves, I’m more of a Haaland girl anyway.”
He guffaws. “I can’t believe I’m hearing this. You’re so far gone that you already have a preferred player. Jack Grealish is England’s poster boy! Everyone loves him whether they like City or not!” He heaves a dramatic sigh. “Christ, I can already feel you slipping through my fingers. I give it a week over there at Etihad before you call me up telling me I can find a new best friend because you’ve replaced me with Phil Foden and Julian Alvarez.”
“For someone who supposedly hates Manchester City, you’re certainly well-versed in their roster.”
“Well duh, I need to know my competition,” he says, like it’s obvious.
“Ah, yes,” you snark back sarcastically. “Because you, a Formula One driver, have to be worried about the football players of Manchester City.”
“Apparently I do if you’re calling yourself a Haaland girl now!”
You burst into cackles and he’s following shortly after with chuckles of his own that eventually peter out into a comfortable silence. You are really going to miss him for the few months you aren’t working with him.
The Formula One schedule is so jam-packed across the season that it typically means you’re getting to see him every day for an hour or two at least, if not for the entirety of the time he’s at the track. You follow him and Oscar to their sponsor obligations, their interviews, and everything in between. It’s honestly rare if you’re not getting a moment to goof off and dick around with one another━ and it’s even rarer for you to not actually see one another face to face in passing at the very least.
The off-season is your least favorite time of the year for this very reason, and though it makes you feel a bit full of yourself to think so, you imagine Lando doesn’t enjoy this time of year much either for the same reason.
“I promise I won’t replace you with any of the City boys,” you say after the silence has stretched on a moment longer.
He huffs again, but you can envision the smile tugging at his lips. “I suppose even if you do, I’ll just show up to a match and steal you away again.”
“As if. Have you seen Grealish’s calves?”
INSTAGRAM.
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footballfansofficial BREAKING: Manchester City Forward Garrett Ward caught with mysterious woman revealed to be well-known Formula One photographer Y/N L/N! The two were seen sharing a romantic evening on Friday, the 5th of January, ringing in a passionate start to 2024. Garrett Ward has been with Manchester City since 2021 but was out on loan to a lesser-known Championship League team until 2023. He has just recently begun to play for his team again, but an injury early into the season has seen him benched for a majority of his time back. Y/N L/N is a photographer for Formula One racing team McLaren and has been working with them since 2019. Recently, she has been working with Manchester City to help promote a new docuseries following the men’s team’s winter training. Check the link in our bio for the full article!
view all 12,971 comments
user OMG GARRETT WARD??? NOTORIOUS BACHELOR GARRETT WARD???
user who is she? like genuinely how is she relevant 🤔
↳ user no literally cuz like who even gives two shits about formula 1?
user girl works in f1 why can’t she stay there
↳ user i’m sure there are plenty of drivers who’d smash her idk why she needs to try and get footballers too like bffr 😒😒😒
user aint no way this bitch is kissing my man rn
user literally what does he even see in her??? she’s not even cute AND she’s wearing man united colors 💀💀
user Y/N L/N??? I THOUGHT SHE WAS WITH LANDO NORRIS???
↳ user LITERALLY ME TOO?? like she posts him all the time on insta so i just kinda thought they were an item or smth?? trouble in paradise maybe
user she’s fucking ugly wtf
user i wish these footballers who get with regular women would realize there are so many better girls out there that would ACTUALLY treat them well and would support them in their careers. like i bet this girl doesn’t even know anything about football. she works in f1 and that’s where she should stay bc nobody cares about that shit round here. she probably doesn’t even know the first thing about how football works, but i bet she’ll be at matches pretending like she knows what’s happening. garrett ward is gonna flush his career down the troilet for this chick bc she’s gonna convince him his busy schedule ain’t worth it and then city will be down a great forward for good, and it’ll all be her fault
user i mean she’s kinda pretty tbf
↳ user stfu she really isn’t
↳ user she gen looks like any random bitch off the street
user these comments are not it…. 😬
↳ user maybe you f1 fans just don’t know how to handle constructive criticism
↳ user is the constructive criticism in the room with us rn?? cuz all i’m seeing is bullying and hatred directed towards an innocent woman who’s only “crime” was going on a date
user ok so she can take photos?? 🙄🙄 maybe she should get a real job
↳ user she’s probably only with him so she can mooch off of him like a fucking gold digger
user AINT NO WAYYYYYY
user it’ll last a month max 😌 i’m calling it
user ayo lando come get your girl
━━ tags: @maih23 @urfavnoirette
━━ a/n: here we have it! took me a bit longer than the start of american smile did, but lando's story is officially here! (and it's a whopping 2.9k words to start us off). first and foremost, before we get started, garrett ward is 100% an oc and obviously does not play for manchester city, and this is bc i would feel absolutely horrible portraying a real person in the way that garrett will be later on. gather from that what you will haha! regardless, i hope you enjoy this first part and stick around for the rest!
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thestarrynightslover · 8 months ago
Text
Maybe We Could Do It Again
Pairing: Jay Halstead x Reader
Word count: 4,632
Warnings: bickering and fluff.
Summary: Jay meets the Reader as they’re both babysitting Makayla for Adam and Kim and they end up tangled up on the ground and kissing.
Disclaimer: I don’t own any of the One Chicago shows, or its characters, also not associated with it in any way, or know anyone involved with it.
A/N: Okay, so this is one of the longest fics I’ve written, which might be a little too long but I hope you guys like it and feel free to send feedback! By the way, this is the first time I insert Burzek in one of my fics but I think I got their energy right ;)
(y/n) = (your name) (y/l/n) = (your last name) (y/n/n) = (your nickname)
| masterlist |
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“Oh my God, Adam! I can’t believe that even when you’re not supposed to do something you get it wrong!” Kim yelled at her boyfriend.
“What the hell-” He even tried to respond but got immediately interrupted for his bad language.
“Adam!” She hissed again, not believing how he could still curse so much now that the two of them had a child in the house.
“Sorry, sorry!” He said, nervously raising his hands, as Kim already peeked through the kitchen doors to see Jay and Makayla pretend like they hadn’t been listening to every word of their conversation in the living room. “It’s just… I remember you specifically telling me to find someone to babysit the kid, so I did it! How is it possible that I’m the one who-”
“Yes! I did ask you two to do that! On Monday! And do you remember what you told me?” He didn’t dare to say anything. “Oh, no? Because I do! I remember you saying, and I quote:” she said, even making finger quotes to emphasize the whole thing, “‘Where the hell am I supposed to find a babysitter for Makayla? None of my friends have any experience with kids!’” Kim shoved it in his face, making a very good point for herself. But, as usual, Adam decided to go against any sign of good judgment and continue to defend himself. He knew he could never let Kim in on it, but Jay himself was one of those who had already heard the officer saying how much he loved bickering with his girlfriend and getting her all fired up against him.
“No, uh! That won’t cut it! You told me, and I quote: ‘Then hire someone! I don’t know! But you’re the one who came up with the date night idea, so don’t come and throw something that should be your responsibility on my shoulders!’, so I knew that I needed to find someone! Kev and Vanessa are visiting his siblings this weekend, so I thought: why not Jay? He’s good with kids, and he offered to help us with Makayla!” Adam concluded, absolutely proud of himself while Kim just rolled her eyes.
“Oh. My. God!!! You do know he didn’t mean that literally, don’t you?” She was already fuming by that point.
“Err-” He had to admit that he’d never stopped to think about that possibility…
“No one means that literally!!” She shouted, this time, making even the neighbors hear their arguing. “No one means that literally, and, now, you’re just making us both look like the cops who can’t take care of their own kid in front of the entire unit.” She stated, in a lower, tone while pinching the bridge of her nose.
“But this is not the entire unit! This is Jay! Our friend Jay, who had offered!” Adam stood by that argument and Kim had already opened her mouth to shoot a remark back when Jay came into the kitchen.
“Makayla’s distracted with the tv.” He started with that so that they wouldn’t be worried. “Uh... Guys, Kim, you don’t have to worry about me telling anyone about this, okay? I won’t. Besides, I did mean what I said before. I’m here to help. Whatever you guys need. Plus, for someone who had plans of watching a game rerun alone at home on a Friday night, babysitting that cute little girl is almost like hitting a jackpot!” Jay assured, giving them a small smile and shiny eyes headed towards Makayla’s direction. Babysitting a kid, when he was probably never gonna have one of his own, was one of the things that he, personally, missed the most about when Will and Natalie were together. Back when Lindsay lived in Chicago, he used to be sure that, someday, he was gonna find someone. Settle down. Build a family. But, now… After everything that had happened, he couldn’t help but feel like his time to do all that had run out. So, instead of mooning over it, he could gladly babysit Makayla.
“Well, um, thank you, Jay,” Kim started, nervously tucking a string of hair behind her ear, “that’s really nice to hear. And we very much appreciate it. But-” She didn’t get a chance to finish as the doorbell rang and Adam rushed towards the apartment’s entrance to prevent his very excited little girl from opening the door by herself. When he got there, followed by the other two adults, Makayla was already standing on her tiptoes, hand-in-handle.
“Hey! Watcha doing, you little adventurous?!” Adam asked while picking her up from the floor and tickling her sides, which made her become a giggling mess. “You can’t just open the door like that, darlin’! You gotta check on the peephole first,” he said, as he lifted her up enough so that she could look through the hole, “like this. See someone?”
“Yes! It’s (y/n/n)!” She squealed out. “Can we open the door now? Please, Adam?” Makayla asked, shooting him pleading eyes, while her body buzzed with happiness.
“Ah, (y/n/n), right,” Adam said simply, opening the door and fearing that Kim would want to restart the whole discussion with him.
“Hey, princess!” And that simple greeting was all it took for Makayla to throw herself from Adam’s arms straight to yours. “Wow,” you laughed at her sudden movement, which had caused you to lose your balance a little, “you excited to see me?”
“Yes!! Did you bring the bakings???” She asked you eagerly, bakings being what she called your cooking utensils.
“No, not today!” Your answer made her face, almost immediately, turn into a sad frown. “But I brought this!” You told her while lifting up a box that read ‘karaoke set’, above a few drawings of a microphone and musical notes. Seeing that, Makayla’s saddened expression shifted in two seconds, eyes lighting up.
“Look, Kim!” The little girl shrieked, more than ready to have what she already knew was about to be the time of her life.
“Yeah, I see that! Seems like you girls are gonna have a blast…” Your friend weirdly trailed off, as her mind tried to find a quick solution to the mess her boyfriend had made.
“Uh…” Was all that a very handsome man you hadn’t met yet managed to let out.
“Jay, um, this is my best friend (y/n). (y/n/n), this is our friend from work Jay. I’m sorry about the mess, guys, it’s Adam’s fault.” Kim spoke again, bluntly accusing her boyfriend.
“My fault??? Are you kidding??? You told me to find someone to watch Makayla 'cause you didn’t want us to keep bothering (y/n)!”
“Guys! It’s no bother at all, really. Hanging out with this little princess is in my best interest, believe me!” You said, quickly defending your case.
“Well, thanks for saying that, (y/n/n). What happened here is that Adam told me he wouldn’t be able to get anyone,” Kim started while shooting daggers into her boyfriend with her bare eyes. “So, since I wasn’t about to just wait for a miracle, I called and asked you to do it. But someone didn’t think about telling me that he had already gotten Jay to come. And now you’re both here, ugh!” She finished, rather dramatically, while pointing a finger at Adam.
That was, seriously, the best couple you knew when it came to bickering.
“Okay, so, um, it’s not gonna be any trouble. I can leave since your colleague got here first and you don’t need to be stressed on your date night, friend.” You tried to bring things to a peaceful ending before Kim turned it into a murder scene.
“Oh, I do need to be stressed! I need to-” She started to debate but got cut off by Makayla’s cute pleading voice:
“But you can’t leave, (y/n/n)! We’re gonna play karaoke!” The little girl clearly had already gotten worked up by your idea for the night.
“Makayla, baby, please don’t be difficult. You hang out with (y/n/n) all the time, and uncle Jay is already here…” You watched as Adam tried to reason with his daughter while she held you really tight.
“No, uh…” Their friend started to say. Was it too weird for you to be thinking about how incredibly cute he looked when scratching the back of his neck like that? “Relax, man, I can go. I bet that you’re gonna have a lot more fun with her than with me, anyways, Mak.” He completed, talking to your little friend with a sweet smile, to which she reacted with a confused frown.
“But- but why does Jay have to leave? Can’t he play karaoke with us, (y/n/n)?” Makayla asked you poutingly.
“Now that’s something I’d like to see!” Adam started to mock but stopped when Kim punched him in the arm. “Ouch! That hurt, you know?”
“I know! That was exactly the result I was hoping for!” She squealed out sarcastically, “Makayla, honey, you can’t just ask both (y/n/n) and Jay to play karaoke, of all things, with you.” It was lovely to watch Kim interacting so patiently with her kid but the young girl still didn’t seem to understand.
“But why???”
“Well, they don’t know each other, Makayla.” Kim tried again but Mak still wasn’t ready to give it up.
“But they know me!” 
“Good luck explaining now, ma.” As soon as the words came out of his mouth, all of you 𑁋 Adam himself included 𑁋 knew what was coming, fortunately, Kim just punched him in the arm again.
“You know, guys, you don’t need to fight over something like this, okay? Uh… Since he’s your coworker, I’m gonna assume that he’s one of the good guys, therefore I wouldn’t really have a problem with hanging out with him…” You said because you were never one to say no to little kids. “I mean if that’s okay with you, too, officer…”
“It’s detective, actually. But you can call me Jay, uh, (y/n), right?”
“Yeah, that’s right.”
“Well, I don’t have any problems with hanging out with you either,” Jay said and, Jesus, was that really his smile? “I mean, Mak should get all the babysitters she wants!” He told her with a wink. It was official. You were so done for the night.
“Ha!” Kim nervously let out a laugh, “let’s go easy there, cowboy! You can’t just come into my house offering the kid everything she wants.”
“Okay, okay,” the detective started to say with a gesture of surrender while the couple started to get out of the house to give you the space to properly go in. “Sorry ‘bout that, ma!” You could have sworn that you saw him tremble 𑁋 just a little 𑁋 under the deadly gaze your friend sent his way. Adam, who seemed to be off the hook for the first time that night, took the moment to laugh and hope that his girl would forget she had been so mad at him.
“C’mon, darling. Let’s get going before we decide it isn’t very safe to leave Mak with those two.”
"Yeah… I'm already deciding that but maybe they'll prove us wrong." Kim said, voice absolutely faithless. "You behave, Makayla!"
"It's more than obvious that she's going to be the best tonight. Get outta here already!" You heard Jay yelling a little in response to her, as you and Makayla started to get the karaoke set up.
But you, being the lucky person you were, obviously couldn't find your way around your friend's old stuff.
"Uh, you need any help there?"
“No! No, not all! Um, I got this!” You quickly responded because you could be pretty skeptical when it came to admitting your weaknesses and, from your point of view, not getting a simple karaoke set to work was a huge one.
“Alright, then…”
“Are you sure you don’t want Jay to help, (y/n/n)?” Mak asked, sounding way more reasonable than you, the actual adult there.
“Um, err, I guess maybe I could use some help… It’s just that this TV setup is quite different from mine…” You said, still unwilling to let how confused you were really show.
“Yeah, I can help!” you heard Jay as he left his spot in the corner of the room. “I was just ordering us pizza but I can totally help out 'cause Adam and I actually shopped for these TVs together, so I have the same one!” He said, this time, already gently getting the device from your hands before you could even react, which was probably him sensing that you wouldn’t give it up so easily, like he could see right through you.
“Okay, well, since you already ordered the pizza, I’ll go make us some juice.” As you said that you got both of your companions making weird faces at you, so you amended: “Or not, because you already ordered soda too… Just keep in mind that if Kim gets mad because of all the junk food that kid is eating, I’m telling on you, detective!” You said, making a point to stare right into his eyes 𑁋 God, they were so beautiful, was there nothing but beauty in this man’s body?
“Okay, so I think we’re all good here with the karaoke! Who wants to go first?” Hearing that you came of your very dangerous thoughts and Makayla jumped up and down, screaming:
“Me! Me! Me!”
“Alright, little lady, then come pick a song!” Jay told her and stood by to help her with her choice.
About three hours later all three of you had already sung your hearts out 𑁋 Jay having had gone for ABBA, which surprised you and Mak, to say the least 𑁋 eaten lots of pizza, drunk lots of soda and had begun watching a movie, cause you told Jay that that always did the trick when it came to Mak falling asleep. But, God, it was hard to pay attention to the movie you were supposed to be watching when sitting next to a guy like that. And he wasn’t just really handsome. He was sweet and kind and funny. Also, he was so good with Makayla. It was like everything you’d always imagined the perfect man being like was right there, reunited in the detective’s goof self. But you couldn't be thinking those thoughts about him. Not when he was so close. And definitely not when your best friend's daughter was lying on both of your laps.
So, in order to calm your thoughts for a minute, you gently put Makayla’s head on a cushion as you got up 𑁋 because she was already asleep 𑁋, and said I’m gonna get started on cleaning over there.” It was indeed necessary since Mak had dropped all of the content of a big ice cream container near the dining table, the ice cream being very sticky and sort of liquid 𑁋 which was obviously beyond your understanding but who were you to judge Kim and her preferences? 
"Oh God, lemme help you!" You heard Jay saying, as he quickly made his way from the corridor over to where you were cleaning the floor, by the dining table.
"Ah, there's no need for it. I'm used to spending time with Mak, and, then, cleaning up before Kim sees it." You told him with a sly smile.
"Ha! Well, I don't doubt it! You're really good with her."
"And she's really good at making giant messes."
"Right." He said, chuckling lightly. "But, this time, I bet you felt like there were two kids, huh?"
"Your words, not mine, detective."
"Anyways, I'll help. Don't tell Kim and Adam, cause they might spread it across the district, but I'm actually pretty good at cleaning. Especially, when compared to someone who's doing such a lousy job." At that, you instantly snapped your head in his direction.
"What did you just say?" You asked, pretending to be mad while standing up and raising your sponge, as if it was a weapon you were threatening him with.
"Uh… Uh, d- did you know that pulling a weapon on a cop is a crime?" He asked, trying to play along, but stuttering a little.
"And what are you gonna do?" Now that Makayla was asleep… "Huh? Arrest me?" Jesus Christ, you definitely weren't thinking straight, you thought as you watched Jay drop his mop, also spilling all the soapy water on the floor. He even motioned to take care of it but stopped when he realized that you were, now, standing closer. Closer than it was safe for him to be near a woman like you. So he decided to take a step backward, not remembering the floor situation and slipping. As a reflex, you grabbed his shirt when you were obviously not gonna be able to prevent him from falling.
So, you ended up falling with him. On top of him. Oh God, was that living room always so hot? Your thoughts were cut off by Jay's laugh, it was an open-mouthed laugh, just like when you two were interacting with Makayla. He didn't seem to be the kind of guy who got to laugh too much, especially given his job. But it definitely suited his features. His smile, that bright, was so beautiful.
"So you're seriously not even gonna try and get up? Just gonna stay there staring?" Hearing that, you blushed instantly, because you hadn't even realized you were staring.
"Ah, uh… Right." Now, that was your turn to stutter, and Jay was loving every second of it. He thought you looked absolutely adorable like that. Even more so than you had looked all night.
But you weren't feeling adorable at all. You were embarrassed. By the situation at hand, sure, but, also, by your entire behavior that had, pretty much, gotten the two of you in that position. What was going through your head? The answer was simple: nothing. Or, better yet, Jay's gorgeous face, body, and behavior. Just, Jay being gorgeous all night. Now, what really made you wanna dig a hole and jump right into it was when you tried to get up but the floor was so slippery that you just fell back on him.
Needless to say, he was having a playfield. Laughing like there was no tomorrow. In fact, he had relaxed completely under you, laying his head on the soaked floor.
"You know what? This is pretty comfortable. I think I'll stay right here." It was official: you had no self-shame.
"Are you serious?" He asked, trying hard to hold back from laughing.
"Look, I don't know what else to do, okay? And my brain is clearly affected by your little charm, because I just keep mortifying myself over and over-"
"So you think I'm charming, huh?" Damn it. A thousand times damn it.
"Uh… That's not exactly what I-" You couldn't finish your sentence, as Jay started pulling you even closer to him. Kissing you. Oh boy, how he kissed you…
"Oh. My. God." Both you and Jay jumped away from each other, as much as you could, the second you heard Kim say that, her being followed suit by Adam:
"What the hell is that?!?" He half-asked, half-barked at the both of you, trying hard to not burst into laughter.
"Uh, it's, um, it's not what you're thinking, guys-"
"It's not what I'm thinking?!?" Yeah… It was safe to say that Kim was pissed. "Are you sure it isn't? Because the image actually seemed pretty self-explanatory to me!" As the both of you just kept working out a way to get up from the floor, she continued: "I come back home thinking that everything was gonna be perfect because my daughter had two adults babysitting her! People that I thought were quite responsible but, then, I come home to find those very adults making out on the floor in my living room! My very dirty living room! And, by the way, where the hell is Makayla?"
"She, um, she's in her bedroom. Asleep." Jay finally spoke. "And, about the mess… We were just, uh…"
"Yeah, man, we saw what you were just doing," Adam said, looking like he was having the time of his life.
"No! That's not what he was gonna say-"
"Ah, so the two of you got along so well that now you even know what he was going to say, (y/n)?" Kim said, while glaring at you.
"All I meant was that, well, the place got a little dirty…" Jay started to explain but not fast enough.
"A little???" Kim was really, really mad, you realized.
"But dinner was great!" At that, both you and Kim just stared at him incredulously while Adam started laughing on his way to the kitchen.
"That's what you were going to say???" You ask him, not believing you'd just tried to defend him for some joke. "Kim, I'm sorry things ended up this unfruitful…" You began to tell your best friend, to try and patch things up, when Adam chipped in from the other room.
"You know, darling, Jay wasn't wrong! This pizza is great!" He barked, mouth full. And that's what got Kim to go over the edge.
"Don't you realize what just happened here, Adam??? And, you two! I still haven't heard an explanation on what the hell I just saw!"
"I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry! We were cleaning up and then it just-"
"It just what, (y/n)??? It just happened? That what you were gonna say?"
"As a matter of fact, yes, it is! It just happened because you and your boyfriend made me babysit with this ridiculously hot guy and I'm human! Now, before you have another crisis, Makayla didn't see anything and I'm leaving because I just humiliated myself more than enough for a lifetime!" With that said, and your flight or flee instinct activated — cause you were never much of a fighter —, you did the smartest thing possible and stormed out of there, hoping to be able to get into some sort of protection program for embarrassment victims.
Meanwhile, Adam and Kim simply had to laugh, even more so when they noticed Jay's shocked twinkling expression.
"Jay! What is wrong with you?" Kim asked, taking him out of his daze.
"What?"
"Go after her! If I hadn't been so upset about the circumstances, I would've been the first one to say that what happened over there?" She asked, pointing to the floor. "What happened there was hot." The officer finished her trail of thought bluntly, as if it was the most obvious thing.
"But… What about your living room?" Jay asked, still unsure of what to do.
"Are you kidding me? Look, Halstead, if you promise not to break her heart… I won't hold it against you." Kim stated, making her stance on the whole matter very clear. She thought it was a good way to start apologizing to you after freaking out like that.
"Uh, uh, alright!" The detective rambled, looking like he had no idea of what to do next.
“Go!” With that last push, he left his friends’ house to go try and get the girl.
“You know, this is quite a mess but they do have the potential to be a great couple!” Adam happily pointed out, as he kept eating all he could find.
“Ha! If she’s as lucky as I am…” Kim ironically muttered, as she watched her boyfriend impolitely shoving food in his mouth.
“Then she’s a very lucky lady!” He confidently stated with a grin while all Kim could do was laugh at his messy childish ways.
Outside burzek's apartment — burzek being the ship name you used to tease Kim and Adam with —, you had been slowly walking towards the subway. You wanted to move faster but your mind was too full at the moment. And, sometimes, when you needed to get your head back on straight, you couldn't really do anything else, having a hard time concentrating on your flow of thoughts.
It was right when you were beginning to think you had stopped the spirals in your mind that you heard him: "(y/n)!" You recognized the detective's voice on the spot. How could you not, after how he had managed to disrupt your thoughts and actions all evening? But you weren't about to turn back around and have your very own movie ending with him. You just knew it wasn't gonna play out like that and decided to keep walking in order to preserve the little dignity you still had. "Oh, c'mon! Just give me a minute! Please!" That pleading made you turn around, to let him down more politely, which ended up with the two of you almost hitting each other. Once again, that same night, he was too close to you. The proximity with his body sending all sorts of heatwaves through yours. He seemed to be feeling it too, given the way he started to look at you, the damn smirk back on his lips.
"Nu-uh. You don't get to look at me like that. Not after what it did to me the first time."
"Huh. Care to elaborate on that? How exactly am I looking at you?" He asked, moving even closer to you altogether. "And, more importantly, what exactly did it do to you?"
"You don't need me to answer any of that." You pointed out, crossing your arms over your chest — clearly going into defensive mode.
"Maybe not," he started, tilting his head slightly — the damn smirks never leaving his face. "But. I'd like to hear it nevertheless."
"Well, you're not going to."
"Ah, okay." Wait, was he really giving up that easily? "Then maybe I can just try and see what it does to you one more time? For the sake of curiosity." All you could think to say was an enthusiastic 'Yes, please!' but, when he started leaning in to kiss you, you seemed to come back to your senses, pushing him away and taking some steps back of your own.
"Oh my God! Don't you get it? We can't be doing this right now. Not after the way I left things with Kim because of our previous, um, actions!" At that, Jay just gave you a confused look. "I stormed out of there but just because I was feeling too ashamed about it all and I honestly don’t think that I want any more embarrassment for a lifetime.
“Okay, okay. I get that but maybe it would feel less embarrassing for you if you knew that I was feeling all of that too: all of that buzzing energy and the goddamn butterflies and everything. You were doing exactly the same I did to you to me. And, as embarrassing as it was to be caught like that by Adam and Kim, I still can’t say I regret any of it. In fact, I was thinking that maybe we could do it again? You know, minus all the mess and the kid 𑁋 I mean, I adore Mak but that would be-” 
You didn’t care to listen to the rest of all he had to say. Instead, you threw yourself into his arms, even making him lose his balance for a second, and started kissing him, except that this time it was a slow, hot, and thought-through kiss. And the second you did kiss him, you heard clapping and whistling from afar, as you turned to find Kim and Adam there, once again witnessing you and Jay kiss. And that had Jay whispering to you:
“Let’s get out of here?” To which you responded simply with a:
“Yes, please!”
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jenny-in-a-jar · 5 months ago
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🖤💙 4 days until my Surgery 💙🖤
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(Picture taken Dec 9th, 2023)
I'm very very excited for my surgery (it's my second gender affirming surgery but this one is more significant to me since it'll be top and bottom surgery) and I'm obviously counting the days until it and I thought some people might be interested in my trans journey 🏳️‍⚧️ So see part 7 below the cut.
Part 1 here
As the summer was ending, I got really lucky! A lesbian hairstylist (who helped organize the drag show I went in the last update) gave my name to this sales lady who sold accounting work to like companies and she needed help with researching CEO and CFO types. And she paid me out of pocket and honestly it was pretty easy internet research using Google. I felt like a little rat scurrying across the Internet 🐀 So, thank you lesbians 🙏🙏
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(Picture taken Nov 6th, 2022)
Apparently I really impressed her so she got me hired full time as a sales admin for her company (I wouldn't have gotten with my lack of a college degree without her) and I've had that job since! And a lot of my transition wouldn't be possible without the pay and benefits of this job. Also this is my first job where I get gendered correctly and I'm slowly getting less anxious about going to the bathroom at work 🥰
She honestly mom'd up on me and bought me a bunch of new business casual clothes for the job. And here's an example of one of my new work outfits 😁
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(Picture taken Nov 14, 2022)
Bc of the new job I was able to afford a lot more things for transitioning! Like voice training. I remember when I first cracked I tried to just teach myself using videos but I wasn't good at it 😅 Also a friend during the summer of 2022 helped me and I did make some progress with her help. But, I started making a lot more progress once I started seeing a speech therapist. But, there was a barrier since I could tell she hadn't worked too much with trans people. I went to a speech therapist bc it was covered by my insurance but she moved and then I couldn't find anyone for insurance covered speech therapy. So, I eventually just paid for lessons Your Lessons Now. And, honestly it's going a lot better! It's really nice to be able to talk about my frustrations with voice training with another transfem. The biggest thing I'm learning from here is how to break the bad habit of pitching up my voice by squeezing my vocal chords.
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(Picture taken Sept 8th, 2023)
I had also switched to injections and I highly recommend it! A friend even made my first two vials into earrings 🔥
I also got a lot lazier with makeup 😅 I do eyeliner wings, mascara, and blush for when I go into the office. Which for a bunch of accountants means I do about as much makeup that is normal for the women in the office 🤷‍♀️
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(Pictures taken October 31st and December 2nd of 2022)
These were two notable exceptions. I really love the makeup I did for the Halloween of 2022 bc I decided to go as a ghost-type trainer. And the one on the right is when I learned how to use concealer to cover my 'raccoon eyes' as my dad liked to call them 🦝
Also this would be a good time to mention something I probably should've mentioned earlier 😅 I never learned how to use foundation. I know it's easy but I have a weird mental block around it 🤷‍♀️ But, in the summer of 2021 I started doing twice daily skincare routine for my face. Which took me from a very acne heavy face to people being surprised I'm not wearing foundation. Also the routine is really nice. Would recommend to those who want to get rid of their acne (send an ask if you want to know specifics).
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(Picture taken Aug 20, 2023)
Romance update since I've been doing that lol: Well, things ended with all the girlfriends I had so I am down to 1 partner. And I got caught in a romance scam for a few months 😭 However, I can't really complain because I got engaged!!! It was so sweet in cute. My partner and I had this date the night before Valentine's Day under a statue outside of a local art museum. We read sapphic poetry by candle light and then they popped the question 🥰🥰
But, I say another big part of this era was I made a lot more local trans friends. Went to a good amount of house parties which would've surprised pre-transition me! And I really love my community of queer people I've been building 🥺🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️💕
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(Picture taken July 21st, 2023)
Oh yeah!! I also started laser hair removal at the beginning of 2021 as well. Which was before this era but time is a lie. But the new job definitely made it easier to afford.
The biggest step for my transition was getting my surgeries set up!! And my FFS (facial feminization surgery) marks the end of this era. Below was the last picture I took before my FFS.
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(Picture taken Feb 17th, 2024)
So, in my next update, I'll be showing my post-op pictures once most of the swelling went down. See you tomorrow!! 😁✌️
Next Part Here
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flowerbetweenfangs · 6 months ago
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Cream Filling: Chapter Five
No content warnings this time, some good old fashioned fantasy and smut.
Previous part here!
Buzzing rattled the nightstand. Elle blindly groped across the wood, snatching up the phone and putting it to her ear. 
“Huh?” She blinked, rubbing her eyes. There was a crick in her neck and her whole body ached. The couch had left its mark. Part of her wondered if she should have asked to sleep in the bed. 
The thought made her stomach quiver. No, bad idea. Horac probably would have been put in an awkward spot. Although the thought of the giant Boarman on the couch was humorous, there was no doubt he would have been worse off. 
“What happened to your car?” Ramses' voice was sharp, making her jolt awake. 
Sitting up, she rubbed the side of her neck, trying to loosen up the tightened muscles. When she pressed, it made her whole head throb. Wincing, she looked around the living room, bleary-eyed. 
“Something in it died.” Her voice was still rough from sleep. “Couldn't get ahold of anyone because of the full moon.” 
The stiffness crept through her entire body, no longer hiding now that she was moving. Inwardly, she groaned. Work was going to be hell, especially with the post full moon rush. 
“Are you somewhere safe?” 
Elle nodded, then remembered that Ramses couldn’t see her. She quickly gave a summary of Horac’s rescue, slipping off the couch and starting to stretch. It was a challenge with a phone to her ear, but it felt better than sitting. 
“I need you here.” His voice was soft. There was some chatter behind him, along with a couple of grunts. 
“I know.” She winced. “I just-” 
“I know a mechanic who can look at it.” 
Elle sputtered, feeling her cheeks burn. “You don’t have-” 
“Elle,” His tone was firm. “What have I always said?” There was no room for argument. 
“You take good care of your employees?” Elle licked her lips, before feeling her stomach violently lurch. 
More debt. A contract, unseen. A demon offering you goods in exchange- 
“If you’re that averse to a gift, then you can make it up to me.” Papers shuffled in the background. Someone called out in the demonic language, rattling the phone. 
“Can it wait?” Ramses yelled back. “I’m busy!” He paused, then sighed. 
“Sorry, Elle. Chorus needs me to help finish closing up the bar.” 
“Do you need to go?” She asked, feeling her heart pounding as more demon talk rumbled through the phone. She wondered if it was the same one who had talked to her the first night she’d arrived at the restaurant. 
 “We’re going to be doing the catering order for…” Ramses’ voice trailed off, and she swore she heard teeth grinding. 
“Temptation.” He spat it out like the name was a dirty word. Elle wondered what it was about the club that specifically made him upset. It wasn’t like the demon was a prude. Then again… Temptation could be a little extreme. 
“I’d like you to supervise the new hire.” The tone had gone back to jovial, but it was forced.  
Blinking, Elle tried to register what was just said. 
“Me? Supervise?” Elle couldn’t believe what he was suggesting. She was a server, she gave people their orders, not… gave people orders! 
“I use the term loosely,” Ramses explained before she could hear a zipper pull. A word of infernal gratitude rumbled through the phone, and it suddenly felt hot. Wincing, she switched to the other hand, holding it away from her ear. 
“Just make sure that he doesn’t burn the restaurant down or knock over Wrecks. Help pack the catering boxes and keep track of inventory. I’m sure Asmodeus will take every missing scone and sandwich as a personal slight, so we’ll need an extra set of eyes.” There was a pause, a slight inhale like he wanted to say more. 
Elle’s mind raced, feeling her body flush. 
“Anyway, I know it’s the middle of the night for you,” Ramses said quickly. “I just… Wanted to let you know.” Another pause. More demonic talking. Ramses replied something, and the way his voice rumbled made Elle suddenly wish she was home… Or there with him. 
“Oh! One other thing.”
“Yes?” Elle tried to keep her thoughts from delving too far. 
“The anniversary of the restaurant is coming up.” He sounded unsure. “You don’t have to come if you don’t want to, but… All the employees are invited. It’s nighttime, of course. If you do come, I’ll make sure there’s human-friendly food and drinks.” 
Elle blinked rapidly, her mind wavering back and forth between the wild feast at Temptation and the more platonic setting that would probably be at ‘Ramses’ Brew’. She pinched her stomach, drawing her thoughts back to the real world. 
“Thanks for inviting me.” Elle swallowed hard, before smiling. “It sounds like a lot of fun!” 
“Good…” Ramses’ smile could be heard in his voice. “...Be safe.” The switch was so abrupt, that Elle shook her head. 
The phone beeped. Elle saw it was 3 AM. Her alarm would be going off soon anyway. Disabling it, she yawned and checked for more messages. Thankfully, there were none. 
Rubbing her eyes, she went to the bathroom and showered, turning the water scalding hot and standing in place. The temperature released sleep’s hold and loosened up her muscles enough that it was comfortable to move again. 
Once she’d gotten into her uniform, Elle caught a faint floral scent. Giving the fabric a squeeze, she realized it was slightly damp. Had Horac washed it? She looked at his uniform, picking it up and sniffing. Sure enough, they smelled the same. 
Horac finally rose at four, eyes bleary and hair a mess. He didn’t offer much in the way of conversation or fix anything to eat. He did spend time in the bathroom grooming himself and didn’t seem to notice or care that Elle had used the shower. Once he was dressed, he simply jerked his head toward the garage. 
Halfway to the restaurant, he pulled into a drive-thru. 
“You ain’t going to work on an empty stomach.” He insisted. 
“You’re such a dad. ”  Elle frowned, quickly pulling the single bill out of her wallet. No debts. 
Horac shook his head and held up a hand. 
“Don’t worry about it. Besides… With this crap, I should be paying you to eat it.” Even so, he ordered a few sandwiches for himself, which had ham and bacon. 
Elle once again tried to not think of the implications. Everyone was being so generous. Her heart hammered. Of course, this is what friends did for each other. It wasn’t like he was buying her anything too expensive. 
They pulled up to the café, and Horac leaned back in his seat, hand over his face. 
“What’s up?” Even with her stomach protesting, Elle inhaled the sandwich. 
“I hate the post-Lunar rush.” He grumbled, pinching his snout. “I can only imagine what it’s like at the bar.” Sighing, he rolled his shoulders. “But… A job’s got to be done.” 
***
Once the closed sign was turned, Elle moaned piteously and went to a booth, sitting down and resting her head on the table. Everything was sore and she felt ready to pass out, but consuming nearly an entire pot of coffee had left her jittery. 
At least her pittance of tips had been made back and then some. Elle quickly counted and signed off on them, shoving everything into her wallet. 
Sitting back up, she stretched and noticed a magazine had been left behind. Frowning, she picked it up, ready to pitch it into the recycling. Then, her eyes fell on the front page. 
In crimson font were the words “Love and Temptation”. 
The picture was of an olive-toned man kissing the collarbone of a woman, black wings enveloping them both to hide their nudity. His hair was coal black, but slightly feathered at the tips. The glint of a predator was even present in the picture. 
Cadence? His facial features were present. But they’d made him… So much more human-looking. It was almost disappointing. 
Even though the woman wore a domino mask, Elle recognized what the artist was trying to depict. 
The woman in the wings… Was her. Obviously, they’d smoothed out features and added more curves, but there was no mistaking the burn mark on the inside of her wrist, or the obsidian handing from her neck. Although the club ticket had been changed to a rose quartz beaded bracelet. 
While nothing intimate was visible, Elle felt her cheeks burn. In the articles she’d read about the club, none of them mentioned anything like this. 
She flipped through the pages, finding another set of paintings, showing more erotic and suggestive pictures. While they refrained from showing outright nudity, it left very little to the imagination. The words of the article blurred together, and Elle’s already jittery heart beat like it was about to break out of her chest. 
Then she saw the tagline in the corner. 
“Come find me… At Temptation.” 
Swallowing, Elle closed the magazine and put it cover down on the table. 
“You alright, Rookie?” Horac’s voice made her sit upright. 
“Just fine!” Elle tried to keep her voice from sounding strained. “I uh… Think I dozed off for a second.” 
Rolling up the magazine, she stuffed it in her purse and stood up, wondering if the customer who had left it behind knew. “Did I miss a spot while I was cleaning?” 
***
The mechanic was only a few blocks away, and the cool air helped clear Elle’s head. Horac had wanted to give her a ride to the shop, but she’d refused. The wise thing would have been to throw the magazine away and try to play it cool, but Elle couldn’t bring herself to do it. 
As she walked, she saw a billboard. Gasping softly, she grit her teeth and looked away. 
Her, in the domino mask, looking over a bare shoulder, hand resting on the naked chest of the winged man. 
“Come… To Temptation.” 
When she got to the shop, there were more magazines on wire racks in front of the windows, flapping in the breeze. Keeping her eyes forward, she opened the door and went in to rescue the clunker. 
The car looked better than ever, having been washed, waxed, and vacuumed. The wipers had also been replaced, and the wiper fluid refilled. Elle leaned on the roof, rubbing her hand across it. 
Sitting in the driver’s seat, she realized that they hadn’t shown her a bill. Sighing, she scowled, wondering if there was any way to get the price out of Ramses. But that would require seeing him face to face… 
Looking at her burned wrist, she thought of the black residue that Ramses’ touch left. At least that didn’t stain. 
Shaking her head, Elle grumbled to herself. At least she was lucky that it was the only scar she’d gotten through the whole ordeal. Pulling out her phone, she texted her gratitude for Ramses, before starting the car. 
Compared to the usual roar and squeal, it was eerily silent. Rubbing the dashboard, Elle gave it a congratulatory pat. 
There were a couple more billboards advertising Temptation on the way home, which surprised Elle. Frowning, she wondered what the goal was. Punish her in some way for turning down the job offer? But wouldn’t they have used real pictures instead of artist depictions? 
When she got home, Elle kicked off her shoes, going to the windowsill and seizing the charm. It was glowing and pulsing with power. Slipping it over her head, Elle took in a deep breath and felt her body relax. The weight was a comfort, a reminder that there was some degree of protection, no matter what happened. 
Taking the magazine out, she leafed her way through the pages again, stopping on the article. It was an interview with a “Miss Lamb” talking about her experience in Temptation, and how she found freedom in exploring her sexuality outside her “species”, laying it on thick that she preferred demons over humans when it came to partners. It was an advertisement for the club disguised as an interview, which made Elle scoff. 
Then, her phone began to buzz again. The number was blocked. Elle was about to reject the call, but something told her to answer it. 
“Did you like it?” Ash’s voice purred from the other line. 
Elle yelped, charm flashing brightly. Stomach flipping and heart pounding, she took in a few deep breaths as the pulse of the charm spread a layer of protection over her. 
 “How’d you get my- You know what, never mind.” Elle tried to focus, watching the shadows on the wall shift as the lights from the charm danced. 
“You think the right hand of Asmodeus doesn’t have a few resources wrapped around its little finger?” Ash crooned, before laughing. 
“What the point?” Elle put a hand on her hip. “I’m not going to work for him.” 
“You asked for my help in breaking the contract with one Adrian Ashborn.” Ash’s voice was suddenly lower, making Elle hesitate, grip on the phone tightening. “This is part of that process.” 
Elle’s scowl deepened. Weasel words and more. Never ending. At least Ramses knew to at least try and be coy. 
“Since Adrian’s bond with his own kind has been broken, tracking has proved difficult.” Ash continued. There was a soft sigh from the other end, not from Ash. He mumbled something in the infernal language, and it was followed by a light giggle.  
Elle winced and tried to keep her mind from the dirty conclusion of where and who the Incubus was with. She resisted the urge to tell him it was rude to eat while he was on the phone. 
“You want to lead something to a trap, have bait,” Ash said nonchalantly. 
Licking her lips, Elle froze. “Wait… You’re hoping he’ll see it?” 
“Billboards, banner ads, magazines, anything we could put money into.” Ash’s smirk came through. “And once the Incubus obsessed with you “knows” where you work, he’ll come running.” 
“But Adrian’s a coward, he’ll never-” 
“Dearest,” Ash interrupted. “Don’t worry. Asmodeus is a Demon Lord for a reason. If anyone knows the art of seduction and tantalizing, it’s him.” 
Elle’s cheeks burned. All of that… Just to trap Adrian? She wondered what would have happened if she agreed to work- 
Even through the phone, he was getting to her. Rubbing her brow, Elle gave a grunt of acknowledgment. There was shuffling on the other side, and Elle thought she heard another sigh, or maybe a whine of someone else, different than the first. How many people did he have over there?  
“If you want, I can send you a copy of the pictures. Cadence fought me tooth and nail on using the models I did. I, for one, think they came out fabulous. Although, I’d rather see the real thing-” 
“Goodbye, Ash. Call me when you’ve got Adrian.” 
***
The day of the catering order arrived. 
Elle felt odd going into work without her uniform, but it was a welcome change. The maid outfit had been switched out for a button-up shirt and midi skirt, although she still kept her apron, charm and spider hanging at her throat. 
Wrecks was already there when she pulled up, smoking and scribbling something down in a notebook. He still wore his uniform, but that didn’t surprise Elle. 
“How’s it going?” She asked. 
“Eh. It’s… Going.” Wrecks held up a hand when Elle went to open the door. 
“Ramses wanted to buy you something similar, but I don’t trust those things.” He pulled out a pair of shoulder-length gloves. 
“What’s this for?” Elle took the gloves. They were silk, but woven so tight they’d likely be waterproof. They were nice to touch, and she found herself stroking them. 
“Well… I know you can’t eat our food.” Wrecks fidgeted with his braid. “So I figured being around the ingredients probably wouldn’t be good for your skin either. So…” His voice trailed off and he shrugged. “You can go ahead and keep them, too.” 
Gripping the gloves tight, Elle stared at them. “Wrecks, I…” She swallowed, before nodding. “Thanks. I’ll pay you-” 
“What are friends for, right?” Wrecks gave a smile and gently pushed her with a foreleg. 
“Don’t worry about money, I just wanted to spin something. Gloves are easy, although mittens are probably the easiest…” He continued to talk about the various crafts as he opened the door. 
Warm air from inside blasted the two of them. Elle slipped on the gloves, flexing her fingers. She felt strange, having them on, but it was better to feel subconscious than to have an ER visit because she accidentally touched something that rotted human skin. 
There were so many boxes, stacked almost to the ceiling. Ovens roared, trays covering almost every flat surface so the pastries could cool. 
Stripping off her coat, Elle rubbed her hands together. 
“Just tell me how I can stay out of the way and still be useful.” She craned her neck, looking around for Horac. She’d seen his truck on the way in. 
“You can help Aki,” Wrecks pulled a kit from the shelves. When he opened the lid, there were various decoration tools, from pastry bags to icing spatulas. “You know how to use these, right?” 
Elle nodded. She wasn’t an expert, but it was simple enough to follow diagrams. She’d looked up a few tutorials online. And if her night at Temptation was anything to go by, the food wouldn’t be the focus of things displayed. 
Wait…
“Aki?” Elle arched a brow. The new guy’s name was Aki? How… Normal. 
“Is he a human, too?” She took the kit and started to assemble a few tools, a task proving difficult with her gloves. 
“Not exactly.” There was a thud as someone dropped down from the loft, landing in a three-point position. 
When he straightened, Elle could see a pair of cat ears twitching on top of his head. His hair was black, covering his visible skin with thick patches of it. Amber almond-shaped eyes focused on her, slit pupils dilating as a thick bushy tail swished behind him. He too wore an apron, covered and smeared with almost every color of icing.  
A feline sapien? Elle wondered to herself, then paused when she noticed the thrashing paper… man Aki was holding. 
“Sorry.” Aki’s tongue stuck out, curving slightly between two elongated canines. “I heard this and had to go find it.” 
“A talisman?” Wrecks took it, before wincing as it burst into flames. Yelping, he frantically waved his hands, extinguishing any embers. When he dropped the paper man, it floated upward, blue fire burning it to nothing. 
A silhouette of a silver fox appeared in the smoke before it put a paw to its mouth and giggled, vanishing completely with a loud snap. 
“You okay?” Elle went to grab his hand to check it for a burn but paused when she felt the stranger eyeing her. 
“I’ll go wash off in the sink.” Wrecks shook his hands again, before walking off. “Horac! I thought you were supposed to be watching him!” 
“I have milk on the stove!” The Boarman bellowed back. 
“Don’t worry!” Elle called, announcing her presence, “I’ll watch him.” She turned to face Aki, sticking out her hand, and giving a quick introduction.
Aki’s ears twitched as he seemed to size (and eye) Elle up. His tail continued to swish back and forth, coming dangerously close to the cooling pastries. His eyes went to her chest, and he shrugged, before turning around and leading her to a corner of the room. 
Elle frowned, wondering how she’d managed to offend him. Was it the gloves? Shouldn’t someone hairy as him be wearing them anyway? Possibly a full-body hairnet?
There were a few trays of decorated pastries, with lists posted above each booth. Each one had rows of boxes, to be checked off when the items reached various stages of completion. Those that were marked “complete” were finely iced and drizzled. 
Elle got as close as she dared, brows raising as she let out an impressed whistle. 
“Wow! They look ready to be displayed!” While it was true, she hoped he would be receptive to the compliment. 
“I used to decorate at my old job,” Aki explained, picking up a pastry bag full of pink icing. He’d donned a pair of elbow-length gloves. “Mr. Sesbrun said he needed extra hands, so I figured why not?” 
Mr. Sesbrun. How formal. Not even Wrecks called him that. 
Picking up a pastry back, Elle did a quick check of the invoice and began to ice what would become “Corruption Cupcakes”. At least those were simple and repetitive, the hardest part being the literal cherry on top that would finish the piece. 
Although the image of Ash’s confused expression as he ordered one made her stifle a laugh. 
And then the way he tied a knot in the stem with his tongue… 
Lightly shaking her head, Elle berated herself. The day had only just started, she didn’t need to be flustered or frustrated now! 
“Where’d you work before?” Elle hoped she didn’t sound desperate in her question. Her mind needed something unstimulating to focus on right now. 
“Down the street.” Aki didn’t look up from his work. 
He rhythmically squeezed the bag, gnawing on his lower lip. Small pink spurts came out, forming complex floral and petal patterns that Elle wouldn’t have believed were brought about manually. It seemed like he had barely started on the first before he was onto the second. 
He put down the pink bag and had grabbed a red one, squeezing out the exact shape needed for a Devilishly Delicious Donut, down to the crimson flames and a small pair of horns and a tail. How fast was this Cat Boy? Cat Man? 
She took a quick survey and realized the pastries were already one-fourth of the way done, and more rapidly adding to that number. At this rate, they’d be waiting for things to cool before they needed to start decorating again. 
Good thing he didn’t apply when I did, or he’d run circles around me. 
Within minutes, Aki was running behind her to get to the next tray on the other side, tail swishing as he picked up the supplies needed. 
Maybe you’d get your work done faster if you weren’t ogling the new guy. 
No, she wasn’t ogling. Just… appreciating his skill and speed.
Elle just started on the third cupcake on her tray when she felt a slap on her ass. The sudden sting made her yelp, squeezing the pastry bag too tight and spurting icing all over the tray and cupcakes. 
The charm vibrated against her throat, making her step back and cough. Aki was running to another tray, his tail swishing. For a moment, there appeared to be black smoke coming off his tail, but when it flicked outward, it was gone. 
As the charm continued to pulse, Elle felt her head start to throb. For an instant, she saw two mirror images of Aki, working in sync with one another. 
He didn’t look up from his work, his face stoic as he iced like a madman. 
Elle wondered if he’d somehow managed to miss another talisman and if this was some weird “prank” by Tanpopo. It seemed like something the Kitsune would do. Although aside from the day he showed up on the counter… It had been relatively quiet. 
“You alright, Shepard?” Wrecks came over with a bandaged hand. “Did you get any icing on you?” 
Looking down at her hands, Elle frowned at the mess covering her gloves and apron. But… That was the point, right? 
“... Fine.” Elle put distance between herself and Aki, wondering why her charm was going crazy around him. It didn’t act this way around other Feline Sapiens that she knew. 
Then, Aki stopped at the end of a tray, body going rigid. 
“M-minute, please?” Aki said, his voice shaking, barely above a whisper. “It’s… Getting hot in here.” 
Wrecks nodded, and Aki bolted out the door, hitting them with a blast of cold air. Elle frowned, grabbing the charm. Even when she’d charged it before, it never acted this way. 
“What species is he?” 
“I… didn’t think to check his file before he came in.” Wrecks admitted. “I just assumed ‘feline sapien’ since…” Wrecks put his hands behind his head, flexing his fingers to imitate cat ears wiggling. “His name is Japanese, it’s possible he might be a yokai.”  
‘Yokai’ . Demons by another name, but something she’d only barely scratched the surface of in her studies. 
Although she’d seen enough… Videos on the subject to know a few things about oni and kitsune. Maybe that was what the charm was reacting to? Dark energy it couldn’t pinpoint? 
“Bakeneko?” Wrecks said aloud. “Nekomata? But then he wouldn’t be able to walk around in the sunlight without a charm and he’s pretty even-tempered…” Frowning, he rubbed his face, grimacing, forelegs rubbing together before realization and horror broke over his face. 
“Don’t tell him I said that.” 
“Eh?” Elle raised a brow. 
“I know what it’s like… Having people get the wrong idea about you. And… I don’t want him to think I’m-” 
“Spinner!” Horac yelled. “Quit flirting and get in here!” 
Wreck’s face paled and he sputtered, silvery drool dribbling down his lips. Elle raised a brow and he waved her away, skittering back to the kitchen. 
“I was not flirting!” 
Elle went out the door, teeth chattering when the wind hit her. She saw Aki leaning against the wall, breathing heavily. 
“Aki?” She said cautiously, hovering with her hand on the handle. 
He pulled his head away from the back of his hand, giving a big smile. “It’s uh… Really hot in there, huh?” He pointedly tugged at the fur on his cheeks. “I’m okay, just need a minute to cool off.” 
Elle’s charm pulsed in a warning. He stared at it out of the corner of his eye, before facing the wall again. 
“You, uh… Want some water or something?” She took a step back, rocking back and forth between the door and outside. 
Aki waved her off. “Don’t trouble yourself. I just… Need a minute.” 
“Alright…” Elle frowned, then cleared her throat, “I know you’re new, but I promise no one’s going to get mad if you need to sit down or drink something. Ramses takes-” 
“Very good care of his employees, I know.” Aki’s tail swished back and forth. “I’m sorry. I just… I want to do good at this job.” He pushed off the building. The color was gone from his cheeks and he suddenly looked faint. 
“So let’s make it a great one, yeah?” His voice wavered, fists shaking as he clenched them. 
Elle nodded, feeling slightly guilty. Did she look like this to the rest of the employees on her first few shifts? 
“Let’s get you something to eat first.” Elle lifted up a finger to silence him when he opened his mouth to protest. “No “ifs” “ands” or “buts”!” She was the supervisor, so she could make this call, right? 
Aki’s mouth slowly closed, and he nodded, the grin rising to his eyes. His ears perked up, and his tail swished back and forth rapidly, almost like it was wagging. Then, a loud purr vibrated through him.  
“Okay!” He took a step toward Elle but flinched back when the charm flashed. His lower lip jutted out, brows coming together in a pout before he nodded and smiled. 
***
Aki was still buzzing with energy when they finished. Aside from his dashing out the door every hour, he was a diligent worker, finishing five or six trays for every one Elle managed to decorate. 
The last box was taped up and ready to ship, Elle collapsed into a booth. Picking up a menu, she fanned herself with it as a large truck pulled up. It was bright pink, with “Temptation” written on the side. Men and women of various species were posed and covered with rather suggestive looking icing and glaze. 
“Laying it on a little thick.” Aki held his thumb and forefinger apart by a hair’s width. “I don’t know why they didn’t just do a transport spell.” 
“Those are expensive!” Elle sputtered, even though she was sure Asmodeus could afford such a thing. Then, she recalled the nightmare that was the payment method of the Lucifer order. She imagined the same method but mixing in condoms and lube samples instead of campaign buttons and bumper stickers. 
Elle knew which one she would have preferred. Although imagining her coworkers' reactions did make her snicker. 
Aki was looking at her, brows raised.
Elle clapped her hands together. Right. New guy. Couldn’t be weird around him. “I bet the truck is good advertising.” 
“I hope it didn’t cause any wrecks on the way here.” Aki crossed his arms, ears drooping. “You… Er… We, work for this guy?” 
“It’s the reason we hired you.” Elle shrugged. “And the guy who runs it…” Where to begin with Ash? 
-is really great! Had me fuck a siren band on stage, but now he’s getting my ex off my back!
“...Is nice in his own way.” 
They joined Wrecks and Horac outside, the sun bright despite the cold day. Aki didn’t seem perturbed by the light, walking around and handing boxes over to be loaded. Despite his more lean build, he seemed to have some degree of strength. 
Two trolls assisted the boxes into the back of the truck, chatting with Wrecks. Horac assisted them, and it dawned on Elle how… Small her coworker was compared to them. Still, he moved fast, not stumbling once. 
And she felt her cheeks heat when she caught one of them staring, before mumbling to the other in their native tongue. 
And like he had a radar for it, Horac had put himself between them and Elle. And she felt… Grateful, even if she was sure nothing would happen. 
Then, Horac grumbled something that sounded similar to the troll’s language. 
Whatever he said had the other two laughing, one clapping a hand on his back. Horac smiled broadly, and Elle wondered if he knew them back when he was human. 
Once everything was loaded, the trolls hollered to someone who was still in the truck. The passenger door opened, and Elle let out a soft yelp when she saw a collection of grey feathers. 
While he’d put on boots and a shirt, Cadence looked good. The clothing clung to him in all the perfect ways, making Elle flood with heat more than if he’d walked out naked. He clung to the invoice, signing off on a few things before mutely passing it over to Wrecks. 
The Drider looked over the papers, and the two seemed to come to a silent agreement. Cadence reached behind his back and pulled out an envelope. His eyes caught Elle’s and he winked at her, the corner of his lip tugging into a knowing smile, then his lips pursing and silently blowing a kiss in her direction. 
Elle looked the other way, biting her lip to keep herself from saying something that she would regret. Even outside the club's influence, he was still having an effect on her. Swallowing, she gave a cordial smile and wave, cheeks red. 
Ash had probably done this on purpose, trying to rile her up. No. Not probably. Did. 
“Shepard?” Wrecks called, breaking her out of the trance. “Can you sign off on this, too?” 
“Me?” She tried to keep her voice from breaking. 
Horac still seemed to be in an animated conversation with the trolls, so Elle slowly slunk over, taking the clipboard and quickly reading through it, before scribbling her name across the bottom. As she passed the invoice back over, Cadence’s hand brushed against hers. 
It was accidental, but Elle felt herself about ready to fall over. Making a fist, she quickly excused herself and ran back into the café, scrubbing off her hands. 
Thankfully, nothing came off in the sink. But Elle’s heart continued to pound. 
Why was she so flustered? Sure, Cadence’s signals were bright and neon, but it wasn’t like he was dry humping her in front of the other employees. In fact, her reaction was probably setting off more alarm bells than his. He came from the sex club, she worked at the café. But they were both at their jobs.  Splashing her face, Elle pressed a damp paper towel to her neck to try and calm herself. 
Right. Professional. She could be that.
Wiping off the worst of her running makeup, Elle exited the bathroom. 
Aki stared at her, brow raised. Before he could open his mouth to say something, Wrecks began to herd him back toward the door, forelegs pushing the Cat Man anytime he tried to stop or turn around and peek. 
“Shepard’s got some… Business to take care of with them.” Wrecks’ tone was surprisingly authoritative. They went inside, the door shutting loudly.
Horac waved to the trolls, who went back to the truck. He seemed to pick up on the tension, hanging tentatively behind Elle. Fists opened and closed on empty air. There was a wave of subtle anger in the Boarman, something ready to come out the instant it was told to. 
“I’ve got it, don’t worry,” Elle said, brushing her hand through the air. A calculated risk, showing confidence in herself and trust in Cadence. 
There were heavy footsteps as Horac retreated back inside, but she had a feeling that he was still watching through the window. All of them probably were, trying to see what had her all worked up. Or they were just starting to clean up. 
Cadence stared at her, face void of emotion. More silence. Expectation. 
“I’m not coming back,” Elle said firmly. “It’s… Nothing you did wrong, but… I can’t.” She had a feeling every word would be relayed to Ash if he wasn’t already listening in. 
Cadence reached up, the back of his hand stroking Elle’s cheek, taloned thumb resting on her lower lip. Despite the cold, she felt overheated. Cloudy breath filled the air as they stared at one another. 
Then, he nodded. 
“I understand.” His arms wrapped around her tightly, chin on her shoulder. Nails traced over the back of her shirt, the sharpness teasing through the fabric. Elle inhaled sharply, stomach fluttering as lewd thoughts of him tearing the outfit off flittered through her mind. 
Nope. She was breaking it off clean. Focus. 
“Thank you.” Elle pushed off Cadence’s chest, breaking his embrace completely. 
His mouth opened, but he closed it. 
Once more, he nodded, turning around and climbing into the truck as the engine rumbled to life. 
The heat of the building was a welcome respite. Elle flopped into the booth nearest to the door and moaned softly. A long soak in the bath tonight. 
“Ash sends his regards,” Wrecks cleared his throat, then looked at Aki. “Apologies in advance if it’s… A lot.” He pulled out four envelopes, each one color-coded. He passed the black one to Aki, kept a light blue one for himself, a red one to Horac, and a pink one to Elle. 
Aki shrugged. “I think… I have a good idea of what to expect. But we’re all adults here.” 
“Well, good work team,” Horac groaned. “I’m going home and sleeping until my next shift.” Sighing, he stuck the envelope in his breast pocket without looking at it, walking out of the restaurant. 
Wrecks nodded, “I think… I’m going to take a long nap.” He turned to Elle. “See you Monday, Shepard.” He turned to Aki. “Nekokuro.” 
“Nice meeting you!” Aki smiled, before going to the backroom. When he came out, he was wearing a patchwork coat. Elle suddenly remembered the coat, the scraggly looking man who came through that wouldn’t even look her in the eye. 
Apparently, he must have really charmed Ramses in the interview, to be hired before the night was over. 
Aki… Was under all that? She tried not to stare, with so many questions on her lips. Instead, she stretched her arms above her head, following Horac out. Once the doors were locked, they said their goodbyes. 
When she turned on the clunker, the heat kicked on, blasting cold air. She turned it down all the way, shivering. 
At least Aki was friendly. Although the thought of the day crew having a new member would take some getting used to. He was fast, quick on his feet, and seemed to be able to focus. 
Taking the envelope, she opened the flap, about shrieking at the tip that fell out. Mixed in with the cash were also a few condoms and lube samples. Along with a folded-up letter.
“I was kidding!” She screamed toward the roof of her car. They had the faint scent of the club on them, making her heart pound. How tightly had that envelope been sealed to keep it in? 
On top of the pile was a small card, crimson lips at the bottom corner. Above it, written in a looping script:
“This could be your everyday. -A”  
Sighing, Elle rolled her eyes and put the contents back into the bag. She was going to have to talk to Ash about boundaries the next time they spoke. Between this and Cadence, she was going to have a fit. If she wasn't already under the influence. The drive home was going to be long. Hopefully, traffic was good. 
‘He doesn’t see things the same way humans do.’ 
Picking up the letter, Elle expected more words from Ash, but there was a small grey feather taped to the bottom. The writing had been done with a heavy hand, several blots of ink around the script suggesting broken pens. 
‘Dear Elle,’ It began. 
‘I’m writing to you preemptively, but I know this will likely be the outcome. Ash sent me your way because he thinks we’re a great duet, and that we’ll eventually be able to harmonize in a way that will bring in more crowds. 
‘But I know that’s not what you want. I understand that I’ll only be able to tell you what you want to hear, rather than speak my true feelings, so I’ll write them down here. That way you won’t have to worry about me potentially hypnotizing you with my voice. Because at the end of the day, it's your choice and I want to respect that. Ash does too, but... He's a lot more forward than I am, I suppose.
‘I did have fun at our performance, but I know one good night isn’t a justification for wanting something serious. Nor am I in a position to give up my employment. Despite what you experienced, Ash is a good boss, much like your Ramses. Two men who have a rivalry that can only be described as brotherly. But that being said, if you ever want to reprise our song, you’ll only need to reach out to me. No Ash. No Temptation. Just me and you. I always wondered what it would be like to try acapella.
-The “Authentic” Cadence.’
Folding up the letter, Elle slipped it back into the envelope. Taking a deep breath, she crumpled up the card and tossed it onto the floor, making a note to clean out her car when she got back to the apartment. 
Driving away, she felt… A strange sense of power come over her. 
Stronger than any magic she’d ever felt. Not infatuation or lust. But something she could take in her hands and control. 
These days were almost behind her. No more bargaining. No more deals. No more crippling debt. 
Just her and… Whatever she chose next. 
When she got back to her apartment, she looked at the envelope again. Even without the card from Ash, she still felt the whole thing hanging over her. Most of the scent had faded, but the faint bit that lingered was driving her crazy. It felt like between her legs was on fire. 
All that hard work. The truck. Everyone trying to pull her in a different direction. The thought of what if tickled at the back of her mind. 
She was exhausted, but still wound up. There was one way to take care of both. 
Elle took one of the lube samples and squirted it over one of her more recent purchases, a small bright purple vibrator. Even with exercises and stretches, her hands had started to cramp up.  It wasn’t anything fancy, but it got the job done. 
At first, her mind went to the stage at Temptation, but then all she could think about was Ash 
and his leer, sitting on his concubi furniture.
Let’s get you home… 
A voice that called to her, but didn’t have the same heart-stopping tug that drew one in like a thrall. 
She was at the café again. No more trays, no more catering orders. She was leaning over the counter, staring at the sheer glee that was… The empty restaurant. Closed sign, register closed, everything counted up. 
The one good thing to come out of Temptation, she figured. 
He would be on his knees, licking at the fabric of her panties, head under her skirt. Just like he’d started at the stage, but there was no audience to please. Just her. And he intended to drag it out, tracing his fingers over her skin, palms parting her thighs. 
He lapped at her inner legs, from the curve of her knee up to her hip, lightly nipping. The feathers were down soft, but there was the curve of talons that reminded her that a true predator hid within.
She could feel his warm breath, each hot exhale making her squirm. But he wouldn’t let her close her legs or try to push him away. Instead, he licked at her harder but kept the cotton barrier between them. 
Still, he managed to find her clit, sucking on it and rolling his tongue around, parting her lips and rubbing the material against it. Greedy hands explored her ass and the small of her back, slipping under the fabric and giving everything they could a firm squeeze. 
Her knees gave out, and she fell against the wall. No… She hit a body. It was warm, the chest rising up and down with breath, a heart thundering in sync with her own. When she looked back, she saw it was Cadence. But the partner between her legs didn’t stop licking. In fact, they seemed more invigorated. 
Cadence brought her lips to his, tongue plunging in her mouth, his clawed hands tore through the fabric of her shirt. Buttons skidded across the floor, but Elle didn’t care. The talons traced over her breasts, circling a nipple until it was pebbled.
Then, with the utmost gentleness, they began to pinch and twist at the erect tips, before squeezing rudely. He nibbled at her neck, the conflicting sensations of sharp and soft making Elle squeal as she felt herself clench. 
The noise encouraged Cadence further, and he found the curve of Elle’s neck, biting hard enough for her to see stars. Hands finally left her breasts to run down her ribs, abdomen, and then up to her shoulders. Then, they traveled down again, index fingers cradling her nipples as his thumb palpated. His lips never stopped moving, trailing across her skin, leaving it a mess of kisses and what would become bruises. 
Then, there was vibrating. Elle’s back arched and she gasped, ready to reach the edge, but she forced herself to hold the climax. 
This was long overdue, and she wanted it to last. Still, as she became more sensitive, her nipples being pinched and twisted until just the lightest breeze on them made her squirm, she could feel the one between her legs speeding up. 
They were eating her out like it was the only meal available after a forty-day fast. Growling, moaning, their grip accentuated by something sharp. Not painful, but enough to keep her in place. And she was glad to do that, only able to squirm. 
Cadence held her fast, his heart thudding between her shoulders. 
It then dawned on her that the sound or sensation between her legs wasn’t vibration. 
It was purring. 
As if on cue, Aki popped his head up for breath. He licked his lips, smiling at her knowingly. Nails ran up and down her thighs, inching closer to panties every time, teasing under the elastic, but pulling back at the last second. 
Cadence brought her mouth to his again before she could protest, hand trailing lower. They slipped past the material, parting her lower lips
Aki pushed up her skirt, hooking his clawed hands under her waistband. As her panties slid down her thighs, he knelt again, breath rolling over her drenched and sensitive sex. She felt him lick Cadence’s fingers, drawing a throaty moan from the Siren. 
The licks were teasing, lapping at the sensitive skin of her abdomen, trailing around Cadence’s hand, but not actually touching her now exposed clit or folds. 
Now with the material out of the way, each breath was a white-hot flame of ecstasy. Elle whimpered, burying her hands in his hair, and finding his ears. He stiffened when she touched them, his cock growing hard, peeking out of his waistband. 
Now she had him. Holding him fast, she guided him back to where she wanted him to focus. 
He looked up at her, amber eyes glazed over as he drug his tongue slowly across her. Each lick felt like an eternity and Elle was about ready to fall over. Cadence cradled her, still holding everything open and allowing Aki access. 
The air was stirred by the cat man’s fast-moving tail, covering Elle in gooseflesh. Like the sharp and soft, heat and cold now warred, each one trying to be the one to bring her over the edge. She finally released him, bracing herself against the wall as the licks sped up, Aki seizing the back of her legs and plunging his tongue into her, the moans turning into screams of pleasure. 
And the vibrations from that send her over. Legs locked around his head, and he took it all in, moaning in gratitude, giving her one last squeeze… And his tail swatting her noisily on the ass. How, Elle wasn’t sure. 
The image of the empty café broke apart, and she was back in her apartment, legs splayed open on her bed, vibrator on her clit. Her head was swimming, all the sounds around her warbled and distant. The light from the afternoon was still bright, making her head start to pound. 
Staring up at the ceiling, she tried to catch her breath. 
Once the feeling in her legs had returned, she managed to roll off the bed and staggered to the shower. 
Something told her that this wouldn’t be the last time this happened. 
When she came out of the shower, buzzing rattled the nightstand. Seizing the toy, she pressed the button in an attempt to turn it off. 
Oh come on, I just bought this, don’t tell me it’s broken already.
She finally unscrewed it and let the batteries fall out. Once it was securely in a drawer, she stared at the bed, before collapsing onto it. She was still in her towel, hair damp. 
Thinking and the outside world could wait. Exhaustion had gone from a creep to a full-on throttle, and she wasn’t going to fight it for much longer. 
All that mattered was that she now had the choice. And it wasn’t going to get taken away because she was in a bad spot. 
I understand…
The words she’d wanted to hear. The only thing a Siren could speak about. 
Maybe in another life. Or a different time… 
But she couldn’t see it. At least not now. There was too much going on. 
Elle couldn’t help but feel relief join her exhaustion, the world breaking away as she fell into slumber.
Next part here!
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lonely-north-star · 4 months ago
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jewelry maker mammon x retail worker mc
hi guys this is me being silly and projecting my work experiences onto my mc. She can suffer along with me.
(Note: Human world AU?? I guess?? Craft store silliness)
-But imagine Mammon who hand makes jewelry for fun. How did he start? No one knows. He owed Levi a favor and ended up helping to make friendship bracelets for a fan meetup as freebies
-Once he found out there was more than pony beads he was hooked
-Claims he was experimenting with patterns but each of his brothers have personalized/handmade charm straps (Asmo and Levi have them on their phones, the rest of the brothers have them clipped onto their keys or bags)
-His favorites are crystals/glass beads
-Prefers using seed beads for his work due to more color options
-He can spend over an hour in the strung bead and charm aisle respectively
-People mistake him for a worker because he's often fixing things without realizing. He's just so familiar with that aisle he knows where everything goes
-Gets grouchy and calls people out if they're making a mess while he's in the aisle (What are ya gonna do? Tell the manager on him? Good luck.)
"Ummm no, there's no one with white hair who works at this location. The only two people working right now are my cashier and I-"
"There IS. You need to have a talk with him. He has absolutely no customer service skills. I can't believe you hire people like that-"
"... Was this in the jewelry aisle?"
"YES! He was back there and rudely-"
"Ma'am, that's a customer. He doesn't work here."
-Mostly spends time admiring the beads at first because he doesn't have as much money as he'd like. Until he does a few commissions for friends of Levi, Asmo, and Satan
-They'll either buy the specific beads they want used and allow him to go ham and keep any extra (and tip him well ofc which surprises him)
-Or they send a certain amount and tell him to go ham and surprise them
-Beel once paid him to make matching sports charms for his team
-He tried setting up an online shop but then chickened out at the last second, so now it's just word of mouth
-MC at first was wary of him because he spent so much time there she thought he was stealing
-She would go in there to fix the aisle only to find it sparkling (awkwardly customer services him before walking away)
-Mammon wonders why all the employees keep asking if he needs help finding anything
-Hears him telling off a customer while passing by to do returns and is shocked af
-One day when he's buying beads the cashier asks what he's making and he excitedly explains his idea and shows off his phone charm
-MC was already up there packing an order and gets called over by the cashier
-Compliments him on the design and suddenly Mammon is confused because all this time he thought she hated him (she always side eyed him in the aisle and rarely spoke to him) (she's actually the most awkward manager ever)
"That looks really pretty! You made that?"
"U-Uh, yeah! Yeah, I did! Cool, ain't it?"
-After that she makes an effort to say hi and ask what he's making (if he's making anything)
-They end up getting along and he accidentally distracts her because they talk so much, but when she starts shuffling away, he knows she's being called for something
-The other managers were wary of him too until one day they started asking about his projects too
-One time he's there to pick up some markers for Levi as a favor and MC is there
-MC spends a full 30 seconds digging in her vest pockets for her keys
-Pulls out her phone, a box cutter, her walkie, a penny, a pen, all before her keys
-She finally pulls them out and there's no clip, no nothing, just a damn keyring
-He's mortified actually because how does she live like that
-Says this out loud without realizing
-Now they're both red faced and embarrassed
"My handheld is always in my right hand, I guess? I-I don't know, it's always been like that!"
-Her right pocket only holds her handheld. Nothing else. Maybe some order slips she needs to mark as picked up. No she will not change her ways, it's too late now and she hates change
-Decides he's going to make her a charm strap
-Realizes he doesn't know her favorite color (his mind blanks on what beads she'll linger on)
-Grabs the colors Levi asked for, and tries to think of an inconspicuous way to find out her favorite color. He's snapped out of his thoughts but her voice
"There's a buy 1 get 2 free sale, y'know"
"Eh?"
"You only have 13. You could get two more for free. You need groups of three."
"Ah. Uh, I'm getting these for my damn lil bro who sent me here and these are all he wanted-" *realization* "Choose something for me, would ya?"
"...Choose for you? What if he already has them?"
"Well now he'll have extra. Just pick your favorite color or something. Don't matter."
-Mammon's plan works because she ends up picking a royal blue color immediately. She picks another shade of blue that's lighter too after a long moment because "there's no gold, unfortunately. I like shiny things."
-Mammon feels like he found his soulmate
-Notices her name tag has some star stickers on it (and Halloween one's? In July? But they're faded)
-He asks around and posts online to see if anyone local wants a commission
-Gets more requests than he bargained for but he's saving every extra penny
-Saves up enough money to buy these gold star strung beads that MC always makes a point to fiddle with (they're on the bottom rung) and he feels silly for not noticing sooner
-Buys a pack of blue seed beads (is literally in the aisle trying to color match) and some diamond spacers (they're these round disc like one's) I am literally naming beads I see at work all the time, I'm about to make this thing irl
-He surprises her one day, or tries to. Turns out she's on vacation and won't be back for ten days
-He still shops for some commissions between (notices afternoon cashiers looks kinda miserable without her and the store gets messy)
-Except the bead aisle. That stays pristine.
-He's so excited the day she comes back, and is ready to surprise her with the charm
-But then she surprises HIM with a black and yellow woven bracelet and his heart stops
"Reminded me of you. Because of that feather clip you always have on?"
"...T-Thanks! Of course I'd be on y-your mind. I'm just that memorable, ain't I?"
-MC has never gotten so red so fast (he's concerned)
-He presents the gift he made to diffuse the situation because she might actually pass out
"Here. Made this for ya. So ya won't be digging for your damn keys so long. N-Not any other reason! ... I was gonna give it to you earlier but they said you were on vacation."
-She's literally speechless and staring at him in shock so long he thinks she hates it or he made a mistake
-She manages to stutter out a thank you and clips it to her keys immediately with the softest fucking smile he's ever seen
- Oh. Oh.
-She doesn't think he sees her when she's excitedly showing it to all her coworkers. Now she just has to feel around in her pockets for the beads and pull out her keys
-On his way out, after forgetting what he meant to buy in the first place, because he can't stop thinking about her smile, he sees the table for the hiring event they're holding next week...
AHAHA SORRY THIS GOT SO LONG, BUT I NEED AN OUTLET FOR MY WORK TROUBLES
why can't I have a cool customer who snaps at karens for me 😔 also the key thing is true because I don't wanna clip them onto my pants. Everything goes in the pockets.
pt 2 is Mammon getting hired /hj (if anyone actually wants part 2 LOLOL)
Edit: PART TWO BELOW YIPPEE
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sugar-omi · 1 year ago
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Could I please request hc or a drabble about Cove as a new parent with a female MC? Thank you! ❤️
its your lucky day (aka you've asked smth ive been thinking abt for days LOL) bc ive written hc's and drabbles <333 although mostly messy hc's that are in no coherent order also I think I will come back n write more coherent n specific scenarios bc I have sm thoughts on cove through parenthood.... pls tysm for this ask I hope it's satisfactory bc i wrote in order of my thoughts LOL
tags : fluff, AFAB reader, after step 3/wedding dlc, "options" for 1 or 2 babes (if you hc triplets im praying for u🙏), no gender mention of the babe/s, birth surrogacy n adoption are up for imagination but pregnancy/surrogacy is most implied altho i think you could imagine adopting a baby before they're born bc ik some ppl do that
synopsis : how cove acts when you have your first kid & a bit on how he is raising them with you <3
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many many candid shots of cove holding the baby
PLEASE tell me someone recorded near the end of the birth/when they brought you the babe
he's crying. no matter what he's crying his fuckin eyes out
if you're giving birth please either have him wait outside n come in to cut the cord at the end bc he might faint
if you do have him in the room he'll be on his best behavior. will try his best not to worry too much bc he knows it could stress you out
(I'm thinking abt this video I saw where the wife said her husband fainted n fell back into this rolly office chair n just rolled to the back of the room into the dark side (it was apparently a long room lollll))
if you're in for a long labor or it's pretty short he's more calm bc either it's over before he can freak out or it's so fuckin long he's over it LOL
he's more of a solid, physical support than anything else because he's not too good with words but also he dosn't want you to feel pressured, annoyed, or smth with constant "you got this!" "its okay!" as you're pushing out a whole human, its not a simple task
[video 1]
COVE: so little... COVE: (looks at his mom/dad) are they supposed to be this small? (watery laugh)
is very scared to hold the babe, he's a big guy, with or without the muscles so he's always gentle with them even once they get bigger
definitely texts his dad during the pregnancy/surrogacy/adoption process "I hope i can be a good dad like you"
cliff getting a text from cove at 3am: "ty for raising me idk how you did it omg"
cliff is crying n flying over there immediately
!!!! if you need someone to help you adjust cliff is on the fuckin way!!! you can't even finish asking bc he's alrdy here, whatever you need guys!!!!
but if you want to be alone to bond w the babe or you hire a professional to help with the transition then he or your moms will come over and clean up, prepare food, and allows you to come home and not worry about getting things done.
dies if the kid has his hair color or eyes, like at first he just finds it crazy that he's a dad n that he has a lil spawn of his own
also lots of pictures of cliff playing w the babe/s
we all know cove can be lazy with his hair, but he doesn't want his kid going to school w crazy hair so he learns
at first it looks like a mess
n if you keep your hair short or can only do smth simple, its time to call your ma or lee for help LOL
imagine cove standing by your ma as she's showing him how to braid... so sweet
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cove is tip-toeing through the house, trying to shake off his outside clothes quietly and when he walks back into the room after brushing his teeth he's greeted with the sweet sound of his baby's giggle
you are sound asleep.
you and the other babe are sound asleep.
he shushes the baby, easing himself into the bed. suddenly he thinks that spending all that money on this big bed was worth it, especially with the way his achy body sinks into it.
"cove?..."
he reaches over the babe/s. "sorry.. did I wake you?"
you hum, it's not a yes or a no, just a sleepy sound and he laughs at how out of it you are even though you're trying to fight it, stroking your face and carding his fingers through your hair.
"I love you.. thank you." he whispers. this moment is so delicate. he worries a bit that if he speaks too loud it'll be gone and he'll wake up in his teenage bedroom, staring at the bottom of his scratched up bunk bed.
"f'what?" you blink slowly.
"for everything..." he grins softly, thinking about that night
of your wedding, when you told him you wanted kids with him.
after the ORCA fundraiser dinner, when you asked him if he imagined having kids with you.
"we made it. that future we talked about..."
you smile softly, more awake now. "thanks for making it with me."
he laughs, muffins his face in the pillow and resting a hand on the baby, willing them not to wake. "how can you thank me for that?"
you grin, more sleepy than anything but still full of mischief.
"how can you thank me for getting me pregnant?" you giggle at your husband's flustered face.
"how can you thank me for being here like I promised years later?" you tease, bringing up night of the fundraiser.
cove flushes, burying his face in the babies hair instead of answering you.
he puts an arm around you, careful of the little one/s between you. "just go to bed..."
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gb lady said cove is sahd material.....
omg he makes them lunch always, or he at least helps you make lunch because his cooking skills are a bit limited and they'd prbly have star shaped sandwiches and applesauce everyday
HE HAS A THING TO PUT THE BABE IN WHILE HE DOES HOUSE SHIT
your kids are definitely cuddles bc of him, he always picks em up, and if he doesn't have a carrier than he'll make a makeshift one out of a blanket.
omg imagine him and the kid/s at the dining table crying tryna figure out the homework
"its getting worse y/n!!!" "what the fuck is common core math?!" "babe call the teacher, something is missing here..."
if you're bad at math or smth too than you're all fucked n your kid/s AND COVE are facetiming his dad for a long distance tutoring lesson
he's reading them books every night
HE gets upset when it doesn't happen
"babe we gotta turn around, I only read them 5 books we're gonna be gone 6 nights."
FaceTime them every night you're away just the two of u
falls asleep w the kids in the weirdest positions
why is there a princess crown on his head and where did the face paint come from????
spoils the kid/kids. you're gonna go bankrupt please stop!!!
when your kid/s finally graduate n move out on their own, he thanks his dad for raising him and teaching him how to be the best dad.
also thanks you for just being amazing n reassuring him whenever he worried abt doing something wrong
if you have more than 1, he's a master by baby 2/3
COVE: (holding fresh baby, whispering) ....why is it so red
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raising you kid/s w cove is tough at first, cove worries about doing some wrong or failing as a parent.
and he did eventually admit he was worried about raising his kid/s in a "broken" home. his parents did their best! and he loves them, but the split was hard for him and he doesn't want them to go through the same feelings.
every day is a new experience in your house to say the least
I imagine it's filled w lots of worry, love, and tears
COVE N HIS KID/S HAVE A CRY COUNT
(cove is losing somehow?! he's been out crybaby-ed)
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sophie-looks-at-stuff · 1 year ago
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Some random modern HotD headcanons :)
Hey y’all! So I kept thinking of some funny, and very specific headcanons for the HotD characters, so I decided to just make it a whole post. This will actually be my first “legit” post on here, lol! Anyways, this will include some headcanons about Aemond, Aegon II, Luke, Jace, Daemon, Rhaenyra, Helaena, etc. But hope y’all enjoy lol! :)
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Ok, I am convinced that Aemond has a secret stash of tea hidden somewhere. He's even put them all in a very nice ornate, antique box. It's his guilty pleasure. He probably would have some Earl Gray, English Breakfast, maybe even some lavender mint for the evenings. He'd keep it secret because all the teas he's gotten are way too expensive, and special.
Luke is an avid Minecraft gamer. Like he's basically built Dragonstone, and the Red Keep in his server. He'll play sometimes with Jace, or maybe even Aegon. But he doesn't let them into that world. Aegon would probably blow it all up with TnT.
Speaking of gaming, I think some people are on the same page that Aegon would be some kind of gamer. He'd be up to date on all the new systems and gadgets. He'd be one of the firsts to have the PS5 when it came out. He probably plays a lot of Call of Duty. Maybe even some Valorant when he doesn't wanna fire up the PS. He'd definitely be cursing and yelling at the game, to the point where Alicent threatens to take it away.
While Rhaenyra watches her shows, House Wives, Rupaul's Drag Race, etc. Daemon pretends to be not interested, but really he's super invested. He'd be leaning against the couch, or the wall totally sucked in. And when Rhaenyra tells him to just sit down and watch with her, he's all like, "no no I don't even like this show". But then he'd say things like, "Well maybe if her gown was better made she wouldn't have been eliminated last episode".
Aegon gives me frat boy energy. And I know I'm not the first to say that lol. You already know he's planning all the parties, and picking the themes. I like to think he'd be very invested into picking the themes. They would be things like, dragon night, wear your fave dragon scale colors. Or something like, Dragonstone beach night, wear your swim suits and flip flops.
Alicent likes to knit. Or maybe crochet? It's her stress reliever activity after dealing with Aegon, and the rest of the boys. Helaena is always giving her new patterns or designs to try.
I think Alicent also likes to take the occasional Buzzfeed quiz. "If you were a cake flavor, here's what you'd be based on your star sign".
Helaena runs a very successful tik tok account. She'd post her outfits, and maybe some art or cool bugs she's found.
Aegon listens to a lot of Megan Thee Stallion and Kim Petras. He's blasting Kim Petras' Treat me like a Slut at least 5 times a day. He gets ready to it in the morning.
Aemond will get down to some Amy Winehouse.
Jace works at the local animal shelter as his summer job. He only got the job cause Rhaenyra said he needed to get out of the house. Plus Helaena also works there, so she helped him get hired.
Aemond would be a great bartender. Not with like actually interacting with customers, but he can make some great drinks. Like he's over here coming up with all these crazy cocktails. Although, like his tea obsession he keeps this on the low. He doesn't want Aegon asking him to make drinks all the time. Gods forbid he asks Aemond to bartend at one of the frat parties.
Helaena was a Monster High girl growing up.
Aemond has a motorcycle. It was his one rebellious purchase. Alicent hates it.
Luke can kick Aegon's ass in any game, video or otherwise. You name it, Call of Duty, UNO, Valorent, Go fish...
Rhaenyra has a bit of a sweet tooth, but she has to hide her candy stash, cause the boys will steal it in a heartbeat. Who would have thought Daemon would love lemon drops so much.
I really could go on forever, these are just too fun to write. But I'll leave it here for now lol.
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kalys-404 · 4 months ago
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Atlas "Sentinel" Osmerova backstory and headcanons
So I finally decided to give my OC a background story, which is kinda complicated so I'm just going to put the big lines here. There is also some headcanons on how she interacts with the rest of Shadow Co. and her personal life.
Background:
she was born in Vladivostok and has two older brothers who were already in the military when she was born.
her mother was very absent and uninvolved in her education.
her dad raised her in a military-like style because he didn't want a daughter.
when she was in 5th grade she got into a navy cadet class (cadet classes are a thing that lasts the child's whole education in Russia).
in 8th grade she was noticed as an excellent student and offered a transfer to an elite military school in Moscow, which she accepted.
she started coding at 6 and was fascinated by the dark web and more specifically the classified info that can be found there.
at 16 she knocked on the door of the FSB with a file that contained classified info from the Russian government and asked them to hire her because she was bored at school and knew she could do more.
they refused but offered her a position as soon as she graduated.
she was given a cyber-security degree from Moscow State University without ever going to university to make her employment look more legit.
she actually spent a year doing missions with the Spetsnaz as a form of field training. Afterward, most of her duties were centered around the FSB headquarters especially when she started rising in rank.
she got annoyed with the political bullshit and how it limited her range and freedom of action and left at 21yo.
she offered her services as an intelligence contractor on the dark web and met graves when he hired her for a job.
he hired her once, was impressed by her work and how she made sure the whole thing stayed quiet and hired her a second and then third time. Ultimately, he thought it would be a good idea to develop Shadow Co.'s intelligence by creating a designated department and offered her a leading position as it was safer than hiring someone he had never worked with.
Personal life and relationship with the rest of Shadow Company:
she has no contact with her family whatsoever and does not wish to contact them.
she functions solely on RedBull and spite.
she has a schizoid personality disorder and therefore does not have a very close relationship with the rest of shadow co., she is relatively close with 7-11 though and they banter daily.
even though she might seem distant from the rest of the shadows, she still gives off the "no one bullies my siblings but me" vibes and will kill anyone who messes with her guys.
she doesn't do any sex or romantic stuff but is an amazing cuddle buddy if you catch her at the right time and give her enough puppy eyes.
she doesn't really do any combat and people often assume she can't fight at all. Little do they know, she has been able to kill a fully armored soldier with her bare hands since she was 15 and is one of the most dangerous snipers to ever live. The shadows have bets going about her kill count, which only Graves knows.
her lack of empathy due to her mental illness makes her the voice of reason in any and all situations, which can be crucial during missions that take a bad turn.
she knows everything, and I mean EVERYTHING, like a shadow comes up to her like "Hey, have you seen my-" and she immediately goes "In the gymnasium.", or when someone starts telling her an anecdote about someone and she's like "I already knew that" even though said anecdote happened like 30 secs ago and she wasn't even there when it happened. She also knows a lot of stuff that is definitely some of the most classified shit on earth but no one mentions it.
she has 50 backup plans and is creating more by the second.
knows some of the more elaborate torture techniques to ever exist and will not hesitate to use them if need be.
her lack of facial expressions makes it impossible for people to know what she is feeling, even the shadows have a hard time guessing her emotions (if she even feels any).
probably the most blunt and honest person in the company.
she goes by her callsign most of the time and Graves is the only one to call her by her first name when he feels like he has a death wish.
she is fluent in French, Russian, ASL, FSL, Spanish, Japanese, Korean, German, RSL and Mandarin. (and obviously English)
she is semi-verbal and uses sign language when she doesn't feel like talking.
I don't have any other ideas right now but if you'd like to know how she would react to certain situations let me know and I will add it.
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akajustmerry · 7 months ago
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hey merry! i noticed you just started the show, so how're you liking dark winds so far?
I started and finished it in less than a week. suffice to say, I really enjoyed it! here's some quickfire thoughts (note: I'm Aboriginal/First Nations "Australian" so I'm speaking as a non-Native to the so called US) <3
Something I loved about it as an Indigenous person is that every character has a different relationship to their ceremony and cultural beliefs. You have Bern who's totally immersed, Joe who wants to but struggles because of his grief, and Jim who's skeptical af. I liked that so much because it's very real. at least in my family and community. Everyone's degree of belief is different for different reasons!!
Bern and Jim oh my FUCKING God. I was GIGGLING and KICKING MY FEET. a+ culturally specific slowburn. when he asked her about her tribe?? when she gave him the protection medicine? when he says there's nothing on the rez for him and she says "I'm here"? WHEN SHE LEAVES AND HE RETURNS THE PROTECTIVE JEWELLERY??? 🥹🥰🥹🥰
I preferred the first season to the second. I think it was shot better and had a better executed mystery. The cinematography in season one was so gorgeous. It had a very distinctive almost sunny yet gothic feel, but the second season was shot more conventionally. I hated the colour splash sequences.
Emma's sub-plot of helping other women avoid forced sterilisation was so awesome. Deserves its own show to be honest. That sequence where she tells the patient in Dineʼ (under the guise of translating for the white doc) that she should not have her baby in hospital because the white doctors will sterilise her? One of the best character intros I've ever seen, and I love how it tails off in season 2 with her agreeing to go public with what's happening.
I love Bern so MUCH. Jess Mattern is so GOOD. her encounters with the witch are CHILLING. Her pure dedication to her cultural beliefs is so inspiring. She's also one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen and I'm so gay. My only thing is......in WHAT universe is becoming a BORDER PATROL officer gonna mean you encounter LESS injustice. smh!!!
Kiowa Gordon as a 1970s suave FBI deserter turned hire out of a highway hotel private eye full of love for his community?? That's my dream gender!!!!!!! Also......it must be said....i need him.
Finally, even though I could tell Graham Roland and the writers made HUGE efforts to shift the white gaze of the novels Dark Winds was based on, there was just some moments/attitudes in the series that felt Off. maybe I'm over sensitive to copaganda idk but yeah there was just a little too much.......rampant individual American heroism and pro-cop/military stuff at times that made me roll my eyes as a non-usAmerican viewer
anyways, looking forward to having a reason to stay alive until 2025 (when season 3 comes out!)
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notquitejiraiya · 2 months ago
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9 Years
Well, here we are again. Back to spew some nonsense you could’ve done without about fic writing and otherwise. As a small introduction to myself, if you miraculously come across this before anything else I’ve done online: hiya, I’m Becks. When I was fifteen years old I decided that I was going to create a Naruto specific blog to post fanfiction on and 9 years later, I’m still here.
This is only my third reflection of those 9 years, the first and second of which you can find linked respectively, but it’s the 24th of September, and so here I am, ready to continue a tradition set by the wonderful @unioncolours of documenting her years in fandom. Sink your teeth in below the cut off if you so wish. If not, have a wonderful day ♥️
Before I talk about myself, a little thank you to her, to Bex. Two days ago, she posted what I consider to be her most powerful reflection yet, and I command the lot of you to read it, feel it, and walk away demanding you treat yourself and others kindly for this year and all those to come. Her heartfeltness and honesty is something all of us should learn from, and it is an honour to share my forename, space, fandom, world with her. Thank you, Bex, for all you do, here and away.
Now, the first thing I must address about this Rebecca here is “job no1”, as I called it in last year’s recap. “Job no1” was to become more concise.
It is safe to say that I did not get hired for “job no1.” Not yet, anyway. Perhaps on the future. Maybe. We’re still in the interview stages, and you know how many rounds these things take.
To set the tone of this past year, I will admit that it is the 24th of September, not just when I post this reflection, but as I write it. As mentioned, I have only written two recaps of this sort in my fandom career, both of which were written ahead of time and posted on the day with little stress. This one is being bashed out when the sun is already setting, and time is running out.
Time is something that has fascinated me for years; it’s something I’ve written scientifically on, written fiction about in short spells, and something I’ve come to respect a bit more over the last year, too. It’s something I’ve especially enjoyed playing with and writing about in the one fic that I’ve published/added to this year. In Grandmaster, one of my favourite passages from the fic and one of the bits I’m most proud of involves time. But I won’t dwell on that. Grandmaster — or GM, as I affectionately call it — will get its moment later on. For now, let us focus still on time.
I’ve had a strange amount of it this past year. I wouldn’t say I’ve had too much, nor particularly little, on average, but I certainly feel as though I have. Even if not, it’s slipped away from me, and this year that feels rather damning. You see, as you might know, I live in Finland at the moment. I say ‘at the moment’ because this time next year, when I’m writing my next recap, that will no longer be true. I already no longer live 40 minutes from the front door of my best friend — moving in the summer upped it to almost an hour — and by next year I won’t be able to jump up, hop on a train and see her when the mood (and life) suits. Many rather saddening things have hammered home time to me since last September, but even considering that one thought makes time seem rather fleeting. I need to treasure it until the summer, and so forgive me if my time at my laptop is a little less than it once was.
More relevant to you reading this, perhaps, is the amount of this year that I have been able to spend writing. Without examining the statistics, I feel like I’ve barely written this year. I know that that is ultimately not true; I have made good progress with GM, and have written snippets of works to come. But I still feel as though I haven’t had the time in year 9 that I would’ve liked, and even less than the small amount I dared to expect.
In the time I did spend writing, though, I largely spent it on GM, so it only feels right that I dedicate a sizable portion of this recap to that fic.
I don’t think it’s an exaggeration to say that GM has consumed me. I view the world through a different lens having conceptualised, written, and frankly breathed the world in that story. I see situations in the real-life chess, and I imagine where that might happen in the GM-timeline, were it there. I see the people I envision when the scene play out like theatre performances in my head, and I think about GM, even when it’s totally irrelevant. Even just a face. I hear songs, and I think about GM. I watch movies, and I think about GM. I sit on the bus or god forbid the train, it rains or it shines, and I think about GM.
I have never, in my life, felt a story in my bones like this. When it ends, which this year it certainly must, I will cry. Don’t get me wrong, I won’t cry because it’s over — I will cry because I will remember all the countless hours that have gone into not just writing but thinking about this fic. It is a part of my daily life and has been for such a long time now. I don’t go an hour, let alone a day, without thinking about it. It has been in progress for over 2 years — during every every wrapup I have written, it has been in progress — and 2 nights ago, I finally posted a chapter, the heart of which I first sent to my friends almost as long ago.
I won’t spoil the contents, as I’m sure many of you may not have read it, but I’ll admit now that I cried as I went to sleep after posting it. It took me three months to be happy with that chapter. Three months. That long to accept a chapter that I knew I had the core, important part of set and the was happy with since almost two years ago. It felt and still feels ridiculous to me. Even three days ago I felt like, surely, I had forgotten how to write. Or maybe I just had never known how to write in the first place. I had lost my touch, at the very least, the very spark that made anyone read more than the first paragraph. How in the world could it be that I manage to write these core lines two years ago, when GMverse was Strangers and only Strangers, yet having honed the voice of this story for so long, I now couldn’t write a single good word?
I felt like such a failure. I felt like there was no way I was ever going to finish it, and if I did, I was sure I wouldn’t be happy with it. But I told myself that I was going to post the fic on Majsasaurus day and so I said, “Fuck it,” to my assignments and I finished it.
I was late hour, but I almost did it. When I read it back before posting, I cursed myself for all the clunky sentences and obnoxious descriptions — which may not even exist, I don’t know — but I still pressed post at the end, and I immediately felt proud of it.
It’s incredible when you realise you can do that. I think perhaps it’s a skill that doesn’t make sense to people when they first start writing. Not giving a fuck, that is. I know I was guilty of it for a very long time, but there’s no point in being a perfectionist, especially if you’re trying to write about realistic people. Real people are so far from perfect that you’re fucking kidding yourself if you waste your time on such things. Year 9 has been a lot about that: settling. Settling for grades in uni I once would’ve beaten myself up over. Settling for a sentence that I know could be worded better, in theory, but I’m not yet the writer who can word it that way. I’ll meet her one day, maybe. But before I get to, I have to mould her. I won’t do that without writing more and more.
In any case, in the words of Shikamaru in my own fic: “They’re just words. They don’t mean anything unless you let them.”
In line with that thought, I want to thank you all for your theories and thoughts and engagement with GM. The fact so many of you have managed to find some meaning or emotion in it that matters to you specifically, even if that differs between people, amazes me daily. It makes me emotional and humbles me and all manner of things I could write an entire reflection on.
It is on that note that, I would like to extend a particuar mention to @twnj who has brought to life so many scenes in GM with her beautiful artwork as well as created so many fun headcanons for outside of it. I am so lucky to have met and to know you, and it is a pleasure being rambly with you, my dear.
I also would like to shout out @backgroundcharacterno5 for creating one of most incredible things I have ever seen by way of this comic. You brought that scene to life more beautifully than I ever could’ve imagined even in my own head, and I cannot thank you enough for thinking of GM at all. Thank you.
And finally, the book club. Learning of your existence blew my fucking mind, and it continues to. I refer to you this way because I do not know exactly how many of you there are, but I bloody love you all, even those of you I have never spoken to. The comments I received from you and from every reader, even if I am shit at replying to them, move me and inspire me endlessly. Your analysis and theories and reactionary comments thrill me and make my heart sing. So thank you. So much.
With GM this past year, I feel I have reached a point as a writer that I never expected to, and am endlessly proud of. I never expected people to be so engaged with something I wrote — I thought I was a one- or maybe two-trick pony with song inspired banter-filled one shots and depressing britishisms. But this year showed me that that isn’t true. Do I have the widest range? No, and I’ve made peace with that. But does that devalue what I make? No. I love it. I have fun making it. And as an incredible, frankly unexpected cherry on top, so do some of you. So thank you for that. You’ve ticked so many of my author bucket list dreams in a single year.
As I have certainly mentioned in past ‘blog’-type posts, there are elements of GM which are personal to me, but in the coming year, I will introduce to you what I consider my most personal fic yet. While I may lend things I have overheard or observed, I rarely let myself into my own work too heavily. I value the power of looking over a shoulder, and do try my best to do that. But I rarely force my shoes on a character.
Piano Man (affectionately referred to by myself and those closest as GMJ) will not be like that either. Not on purpose. It will not be a 1-to-1 retelling of my life, the opinions and feelings and experiences within it will by no means be my own, but it will be an expression of things I love and know more directly than before.
GMJ will be set some 20+ years after Strangers, so I am still not escaping this universe I’ve built for myself (not that I want to escape it). It will follow one of my most beloved characters in Shikadai, and how he meets someone he really ought to have known his whole life, but by chance, has not: Inojin.
Any writing I have done that is not GM this year has been ShikaJIn. I know that many of you who follow me, do so for ShikaTema. I wonder if there are even so many of you now that joined for GM that ‘CHESS’ and ‘Cloud Nine’ are now irrelvant in my list of past fics. But regardless of what you’re here for, and whether you ship them now or not, I hope that you’ll stick around for GMJ. It is not a ship fic anymore than GM is, and I like to think that perhaps you trust me by now to tell you a story you might enjoy.
Besides GMJ I have dabbled in a couple of other potential AUs, the most promising of which is a wartime au, which came about after my dear friend Bex suggested that @clumsydragon28 and I read a book she was reading: In Memoriam. IM was one of the most fun reading experiences I have ever had, and I cannot reccomend reading with your friends enough. The joy is something I can’t quantify, and I will treasure that experience forever.
I myself have read more books this year than I have in years. I haven’t read so many fics, which saddens me, but I am so pleased that there is space in my life for fiction and stories again besides thsoe in my own head.
One of the books of this year will no doubt come when I return home to England for Christmas, because last year, darling Barb sent me (and Bex) a goodie box from across the Atlantic. In it, she placed the US edition of my favourite book: The Beach. It will get loved and cherished this year with its first physical read. I promise.
There are so many other things that I could say here, but ultimately, I don’t know that I have the time. All I can say is that I am so grateful for the people of this fandom space, old friends and new, and even those that have not shown me kindness this past year — you have hardened me to realise I am worth more than I thought.
The next recap I write will mark a decade of notquitejiraiya. That, in itself, seems absurd. But I am certain that I go into it lucky, and grateful, and really really fucking inspired.
Thank you, all, for another notquitejiraiya year. May the next be sweet and full of more frequent updates than the last! ♥️
(PS - I’ll try to be more consice next year, but I’m not making any promises)
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doverstar · 1 month ago
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Hello hello I was told by your lovely sister, one of my favorite people on the planet, to send you the same question I asked her to see what else you could say about it, since you write a lot of fanfiction and are more familiar with it than she said she was, so here I am!
I wanted to ask about fanfiction. I've really been thinking about that post Artist made about how a lot of fanfiction can be just used as a form of escapism, and not in a good way like Tolkien described it, but as a 'I hate life so I'm gonna read and write extensively about fictional characters rather than working hard/trying to improve my own life' Which I really want to avoid and not do. In the past I've certainly fallen into that trap- I would get so caught up in writing Marvel or Percy Jackson or Harry Potter fanfiction (not to toot my own horn, but was objectively good and I do think grew my skills a lot as a writer and character analyzer) that I would spend every free moment and many of ones when I really should've been working on school or chores or spending time with my actual family reading and writing it. I was probably doing that 5-8 hours a day when I was 11/12. (Yikes) Thankfully, my parents smacked some sense into me lol. It really just goes to show you how, for lack of a better term, soul-consuming, that these kind of fantasy pursuits can really be. Thankfully, I don't do that any more. I actively limit myself to a max of 3 hours of reading and writing fanfiction over the course of a week, which is a big improvement.
So yay! Now I have a definte separation from writing fanfiction to improve my writing and writing it to waste time because all of my energy is focused on it to the point where it is in my every thought. Good! Growth!
But now my new thing is this- I want to make sure that any and all fanfiction I write has a definite point. I want it to point to good things and have clear messages and blue flowers and point to Jesus, even if it isn't specifically a 'Christian' fanfiction.
But how do I go about this trying to intentionally bring in blue flowers and good messages and beautiful themes, and not just only write it for my entertainment because its a piece of media I love? How to I make sure to firstly know what themes I can bring in, and then do it in such a way that's well-written, while also being able to have those fun moments and situations that are both in the piece of media and I've thought up?
And finally, last thing, is I'm wrestling through if I should continue writing fanfiction to 'fix' a story (which is why I started a Percy Jackson and Marvel fanfictions, I wanted to take the parts of each story I didn't like and were poorly done and make them better) rather than make my own point with it. For most of the fanfiction writing I've ever done, my goal was to improve it, to act like a ghostwriting editor the author hired to fix their fundamentally flawed story. But now I'm realizing that I was spending so much time and effort (which don't get me wrong, I do not fully regret, I really do think that I've gotten far better at fiction writing through this) and I didn't even add any more goodness or morals to the story in a way that made it more soul-sustaining and truly good. I wanted to add a lot of bits that made be as a reader squeal and get happy over which... I don't think is bad per say, but its not what I want my fanfiction to be like any more. With my writing, I absolutely do want to improve on the source material, yes, but I also want to figure out what sort of themes and goodness I'm going for with it. So should I continue writing these large projects (cause each piece covers several books/movies) for improvement and also try to expand on the good ideas and themes the authors had, even bringing in my own, or should I just set it aside as that was great, but now I need to focus on making writing morally good and not just for entertainment?
I know a big part of this is wisdom and descretion- things that God has blessed me with but I know I always can pursue more of. So I know a absolute perfect answer to this question will require time and experience. But after sorting through my word-vomiting (sorry lol), what would you say to all of this? Thank you!! <3 I love you and your blog so much btw!
Golly, what a question! I haven't seen what Arti answered yet - I've been at work - but I'm on break now, so I can give it a try! I bet I'll end up saying a lot of what she said, making this an unnecessary and VERY LONG read, but here goes-
I do write a lot of fanfiction, and I have been since I was 8 (aka for a long, long time, gosh I'm old-). I wrestle with a lot of what you've described! I've been on the brink of quitting fanfiction altogether lately; there will come a time when I need to "grow up" in that area and commit to only writing what's just mine. I do have original stories, original worlds, original characters, but like you, when I want to practice and learn, I turn to fanfiction. It's a wonderful platform in that sense!
I would say you're right on the money when it comes to what the Lord has gifted you with. You should use wisdom, and you should use discretion. Your writing should be used to point to what's true, and there should be intention in no matter what you're creating. We're not only called to glorify God, we're called to excellence. Everything we do should be done to the best of our ability!
And what you believe, if you really believe it - about what's true, about how we ought to live and what's important - is definitely going to bleed through into whatever you write. It's the truth, and you've found it, and it can't help coming out. Making something (writing in particular) requires pieces of us, and if that's the case, then our Christianity (for lack of a better phrase) is going to show up in our stories. Even if the characters belong to someone else.
If you find yourself writing a story just to squeal over a ship, just to get secondhand butterflies when the male lead's being dreamy, just to vent some sort of difficult emotion you're dealing with or live vicariously through a character, you should close the laptop. I've written plenty of things that make me feel happy or excited (like you said, that's not bad!) but if that's the only reason you're writing it, it's a waste. And on another, semi-related note, a lot of people only write fanfiction to indulge in emotional pornography. It's not as steep a slope as you might think. When my father-in-law gets just a little drunk every night before bed, it's still sin. It doesn't matter how much or how long it lasts. He's still drunk, and he shouldn't be. So be careful! (she said, to herself, often-)
As for writing just to fix a story - if it's bothering you, and you see what they ought to have done, I say go for it, and here's why: it's teaching you something. It's you figuring out why what the source material did was dissatisfying, and it's you figuring out how your alternative is better. You're essentially teaching yourself what not to do. Now, if you want to write it and fix it and you want to keep the focus on good things, true things, there's still a way to do that. Work out what was good and true already about the source material and draw from that when it comes to theme.
I use a Notes document. I'm not talking about the Notes app on smartphones, I'm saying I open a Word document (or whatever your equivalent is!) for every single thing I write (fanfiction, original, etc.) and I entitle it "[Insert Story Title Here] - Notes.doc" and then I word-vomit at myself. I write at the top what the theme of my writing is going to be this time, and why, and underneath that I explain to myself where I see those good and true themes in the source material and how I'm going to magnify them and use them to point to the truth (specifically some Christian truths) in my story now. I figure out how it will all work and feel canon and then I move on to the pre-write for each chapter. It's good practice, it's great fun, and it keeps me on course when I start to drift into self-indulgence during the writing process. It's fun to visit Atlantica and Stars Hollow and get inside Caitlin Snow's head and show the world why I think Rose Tyler is the best thing to ever happen to Doctor Who - but all of those things can pull me away from the messages I'm trying to communicate.
Fanfiction should not be escapism. I cannot write when I am freaking out. I cannot write when I'm miserable, or angry, or fighting with someone. When I'm low emotionally and my spirit is scratched, I can't complete a single sentence. I can't. I think the Lord did that in me for a reason. I don't use fanfiction to escape reality or to deal with reality. When I was younger, I considered a day when I wasn't writing to be a wasted day. I needed to write. I needed to make something. But I prioritized that over reality, and yes, that is sin. I wasn't escaping, but I was idolizing, and that's wrong. I'm impressed by your self-inflicted limits! I could've done with that at 12 myself.
Fanfiction shouldn't be all self-indulgence, either. Yes, you ought to have some fun when you're making things. But have self-control! I love writing fanfiction and drawing and editing videos. I love it. It's so much fun to me. I get genuine joy out of it. And when I look at something I'm making, I say to myself, "Self, is this a waste of time? Does that part need to be in there or are you just playing?" And then I examine my motives and I examine the thing I'm worried about and I determine whether or not it takes you out of the story or draws you away from the themes (in writing specifically) or if it's okay to add because it's pleasant and matches one of the good, lovely, honorable, etc. things that are true in life that God allows us to have and enjoy, because He's just that good. And then I have to either say to myself, "Self, this is fattening," and delete it, or I say to myself "Hey, dolphins twirl," and leave it in, making sure I'm still on course.
Dolphins twirl! Why? We don't know why they twirl! God does. God made them twirl. God made them animals that play. He didn't have to do that! He didn't have to make the leaves change color. He looked at His creation and called it good when He was finished (you know, before we ruined it). He took pleasure in creating. We can too - as long as it's not pulling us or our readers off course. My husband doesn't have to be a good dancer to fit the biblical picture of a man I ought to marry - but he is a good dancer, on top of fitting what I should have been looking for biblically, and God knew that, and God did that, and I get to enjoy it and enjoying it is not wrong. Dolphins twirl!
Like I said, I'm close myself to putting fanfiction aside on the whole, because I can tell, probably because of the Lord, that it's nearly time for that. It's time to look up and make something more real, for more real reasons. If you're thinking it's about time for that for you, too, pray about it. Writing fanfiction is like anything else fun the Lord has blessed us with (everything good comes from God) - it's fun and good as long as you aren't misusing it. Everything in moderation. People take stories they love and characters they connect to and go and interact with them through fanfiction in a bad way, for bad reasons (or just reasons that are useless to man and beast), and I've done that before myself. I've been one of them. But it's not wrong to expand on the good and true things in stories we love, the things that are in line with what we know God invented, and it's not wrong to hone your craft and learn how to use what you've been given with excellence, so that when the time comes for you to write your own story that points to God, you're ready!
You don't want to be wasting your time or the talents you've been given. I say keep thinking about it, and remember why you do what you do. Stay on course! That's my advice.
Thanks for asking me!
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