#because of the constant interruptions. and my mom just doesn't Get that when she interrupts me its not just for that 5 minutes she

[ectonurites]

i just need to like. make everything explode forever. <3

[dingochef]

Pairing: Jake "Hangman" Seresin x You (OFC)

Warnings: Swearing, Smut (MDNI 18+ Only), Stalking, P in V, oral (female and male receiving), Semi-public sex, light spanking, light bondage, blindfolds, shitty parents, nightmares, arguing

Summary: You and Jake work through the details that make marriage work and deal with a few bumps in the road. News from your Dad doesn't help.

Word Count: 5.0k

Masterlist

Series Masterlist

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

A Rose By Any Other Name

You're walking home, (and still in constant awe and adoration of your engagement ring) from the ferry terminal towards your house. When your phone rings, the display showing "Dad". You keep walking and answer the call.

"Elsa, Congratulations on your engagement," your dad practically shouts on the phone.

"Thank you, Dad," you reply cautiously, "Is Mom there?"

"No, she isn't."

You're not sure how to continue the conversation, so you go with the 'running away' tactic.

"Well, I'm almost home, so anything else you want to talk about?" you ask, hoping he says no. The awkwardness palpable even from 2,000 miles away.

Your Dad takes a deep breath,

"Yeah, Elsa, I have a few things to talk about with you, if you want to."

You reach the front porch of your house and sit down on it.

"Umm, yeah, I'm listening."

"I've been doing a lot of thinking about what happened at Christmas. I heard everything; I apologize for being a coward and staying in the kitchen."

You give a small hum of assurance that you're listening. He continues,

"I'm so sorry that I failed you for so long. I know now I should have done more to balance out your mom. It's not an excuse, it's a regret."

He pauses and takes another breath, "I was checked out, should have been there more."

"Dad, what's done is done. This is feeling a little like Cat's in the Cradle," you answer, finally having something to say.

He laughs,

"There's that wicked sense of humor," he pauses, "I want you to know how incredibly proud I am of you and what you've become."

"It's good to hear you say it, Dad, but all our family dysfunction isn't going to be solved in one day."

"I get that, Elsa, I really do. But it's a starting point."

"There's something else I need to tell you, your mother and I are separating."

You croak out a very surprised, "What?"

"Christmas was a wake up call, that I haven't been happy in our relationship for a long time, but I stayed because it was comfortable and familiar."

Jake pokes his head out just as you say,

"It seems like a drastic step to separate, did you guys try couples therapy?"

Jake looks at you and mouths

"Who is that?" to you.

"My dad," you cover the phone and whisper back. Jake's eyes narrow and his brows furrow together. He goes to say something, but heads back into the house.

Your dad has taken his time in responding, he sighs,

"I invited her to go with me, I've been going on my own since Christmas, or find a new one, but she didn't want to go, or try."

Your dad's voice cracks on the word try. He is starting to cry and for the first time in a long time you wish you were in Michigan to give him a hug, this is the most vulnerable moment you've ever experienced with him.

Jake has reappeared and hands you a gin and tonic and squeezes your shoulder as he gives you space to talk.

Your dad draws in a deep breath to settle him and starts to talk again.

"My time left on earth is a diminishing resource,"

you interrupt him, "That's a little grim." He huffs out a soft laugh.

"I had the epiphany that I want to spend it with the people that make me happy, not just out of habit. A big part of it is how she never let go of the argument from Christmas. I won't be with someone who is driving away our children chasing the past. You kind of inspired this, by the way."

"That kind of sounds like I caused your separation when you say it that way," you try to joke.

He laughs on the other end, the tight band around your heart loosens a little.

"That's not what I mean exactly, just you've built this world of people who love you for just being you. Every time you've faced something that would decimate most people, you jumped back up and kept going to do what made you happy. Like you know that the love you share with Jake is worth fighting for, even if it means a fucked up relationship with your mother. I need to do what makes me happy and loved, and right now that's not being with her."

You laugh a bit darkly, trying to keep the tears at bay that threaten to spill,

"Dad, don't know if you didn't notice, my relationship with Mom has always been a bit fucked up."

"Yet another thing I ignored, I've missed so much, Elsa, I'm so sorry for that."

"It's okay Dad, you're at least self aware now, plus it's another thing you can add to your therapy list, you know in case you run out of stuff to talk about. Want to use every minute of that hour, get your money's worth."

"Did you just make a cheap dad joke about therapy?"

He's laughing and you can feel him lightening even over the phone.

"Yes, I did. You're the only person I've ever known to cut open the toothpaste tube to get that last little bit."

"Hey, it works. There's at least two more tooth brushings in there," he's at least joking a bit.

"Well, I'll let you go Elsa, you probably want to eat dinner with your fiance and not talk about an old man's laments. I want you to know how proud and amazed I am at what you've done with your life. I think Jake loves you deeply and he's good for you."

"It's really good to hear that," you pause,

"You might want to consider a trip out here, alone, actually get that visit in. I love you, Dad."

"I love you so much, Elsa."

"Bye."

You hang up the phone and hold the cold drink to your forehead as though the coolness could soothe your inner turmoil. When you go inside Jake is sitting on the couch, pretending to read a magazine. He chose his spot on the couch because he could keep watch over you outside on the porch. A wave of warmth rolls over you to know how protective and loving he is. He starts to get up and you motion for him to stay. Putting your drink on the coffee table, you flop down on the couch next to him. He waits patiently for you to talk and pulls you into his arms.

You break the silence,

"I didn't think I'd have to add 'Parents Getting Separated Likely Divorced' to my Matthews Family Dysfunction bingo card, but here we are."

Jake is visibly surprised,

"That's out of left field, you were talking to your Dad, right?"

"Yeah, he called to congratulate us on getting engaged and decided to let me know about them separating at the same time. You know for efficiency reasons, couldn't have those be two different phone calls," you snort thinking of the range of emotions in one phone call.

"So, they're separated. Any particular reason why?"

Jake is cautiously wading into the emotional quagmire.

"He said he's been doing a lot of thinking and therapy since Christmas, and realized he wasn't happy in their relationship and hadn't been for a long time."

"Wow, you'd think that he'd just run the last mile of the marathon and stay with her and not start over so late in life."

You laugh,

"I got the impression it was more of a 'I'll be damned if I'm going to run my last mile with you.'"

Jake at least rewards you with a light smirk.

"Part of it was my mom's insistence on holding onto the past, he said he wouldn't be with someone who would drive his kids away for something that could have been."

"So, how do you feel about this?"

He pulls you closer for a hug as he kisses the top of your head.

"Surprised and not at the same time, my parents have always been together but I don't know that I ever saw them in love with each other. I remember Dad as a little kid being really bright, laughing, and funny. Always smiling, that started to fade over time, I don't know if that was the toll of a strained relationship or if it was him kind of checking out trying to cope with it."

"I'm glad he's going to therapy, that's pretty smart of him," Jake offers.

"He said he has regrets from my childhood and how he let my mom dominate my life, so he's at least aware of that. He also said he is really happy for us and thinks you love me deeply and am good for me, which I'd have to agree."

You lean over to give him a peck on the cheek. Jake can tell you're still processing the conversation and will likely talk to him again about it.

"You ready for some dinner? I made a stir fry," he asks quietly.

"That sounds lovely," you stand up and wrap your arms around Jake's torso.

"I love you so much, Jake Seresin."

He replies,

"I love you very much, Elsa Matthews, soon to be Seresin."

You know you have to talk about some of the details of married life like keeping your last name, but you're emotionally spent for the day.

–

It turns out that conversation happens very soon on the next sunny Saturday afternoon. You and Jake have convened at the dining table to discuss “Life Stuff” as you called it. A file folder of your financial stuff, your laptop open to your financial tracking software, and Jake's tablet are laid out on the table. He keeps all his financial info electronic so that he can access it from anywhere the Navy sent him.

You start,

"So, I want to get married sooner than later, I don't want a really long engagement because we're trying to plan the 'perfect wedding.'"

"I agree, we'll have to see what's available for locations and work from there," Jake nods.

"Okay, that's good, that's probably a whole nother day of effort, but I thought we'd tackle the hard things first before picking wedding colors, you know the things that actually make marriages work."

Jake is smiling his panty dropper smile,

"God, I love it when you get all engineer on me, planning stuff, solving problems. It's kind of hot."

He smirks as he slides his hand up your thighs under your dress.

"Jake," you stop his hand and pull it off your leg,

"This is important stuff and you doing that is highly distracting and you're not going to get me all wet and bothered to discuss whether we do a prenup or combine bank accounts."

"Okay, I'll behave for now," he raises one eyebrow and gives you that smirk again.

"So, I came up with these things to discuss from my research. Not that this is the only time we'll talk about it."

You look down at your list,

"First, what debt do you have? I'll start, I have," you scroll through your accounts on the laptop,

"$367 on a credit card that is paid automatically each month from my checking account. You?"

He scrolls,

"Credit card only, $582. Also paid automatically each month."

"Okay, that was stupidly simple, by some stroke of luck, we have no student loans, car loans, mortgage, or a crippling gambling problem."

Jake laughs,

"You know this might be easier if we just swap the laptop and tablet with each other."

"Okay," you shuffle the tech around and scroll through Jake's accounts. Checking, savings, credit card, investment account, and what looks like a retirement account. All of which are healthy and reasonable.

You look over to Jake and he looks shocked,

"El, I didn't realize how loaded you are, maybe I should have made you pay for dinner more often."

You laugh,

"Most of my net worth is in this house, I've been maxing out my 401k and Roth IRAs since I started working. That's a lot of it, but also I don't really live an extravagant lifestyle as you've noticed. I drive an 8 year old Honda, probably the second most expensive thing I've bought in the last few years has been my bike. I've been putting the equivalent of a monthly payment for a house, since I don't have one, into a money market account since I bought this place. That's all because I really do earn good money at my job, six figures."

Jake has been nodding the whole time,

"So, level with me, what was your gross salary last year?" he asks.

"$150,000," you answer, waiting for Jake's response.

He has a pleased look on his face, none of the insecurity or jealousy you've seen from guys before,

"Nice, beats my $85k a year."

"It doesn't matter who makes more money, because I think it's our money when we get married which leads me to the next question. How do you want to manage money? Combine accounts or keep separate accounts?"

Jake answers,

"I think that combining is the way to go, it seems complicated and kind of petty to have to balance out every transaction to make things even. If it's one account, it's our money that we use for our lives. You?"

"I'm in favor of the combined account, pretty much for the same reasons. I see you're a member of a military credit union, so that might be the place to have our accounts. We can compare that stuff and choose the best one."

"Sounds good, what's the next question?"

"What purchases can we make individually and what ones do we need to consult each other on?"

"Obviously the big ones, houses, cars, anything that you might consider taking out a loan for. I'm not sure if there's a dollar amount that would trigger it, because spending $500 on a couch is different than spending $500 on shoes. Not that you're the type to do that," he looks at the ratty Chaco flip flops you're wearing.

"Hey, they still work. I'll get a new pair when they break. It's just my Midwestern soul and the ingrained thriftiness. I think it's context dependent too. I'm going to go with the 'when in doubt ask' policy."

"Agreed, what's next? This feels like a job interview almost."

"We should discuss if we want a prenup."

Jake starts,

"I think it would be wise to protect your assets, Elsa."

You scoff,

"It feels really cynical. Like we're expecting this not to work. The big thing is the house, it's in my name obviously, I was considering adding you to it, so you'd get if anything happened to me, or we can set up a trust that automatically transfers it to you. A trust might not be a bad idea if we plan on having kids. Hah, that's the next question."

You look at Jake and he seems a little overwhelmed,

"Are you okay over there?"

"Who knew getting married would be so complicated. El, I don't want the appearance of me marrying for your money. Your mother has already made me paranoid about not being enough."

"Jake, if you wanted a sugar momma, you could have reached way higher. There's plenty of rich old ladies on Coronado Beach looking for a young buck like you."

He relaxes and laughs a little,

"Who says I'm not playing the long game for when you'll be a rich old lady?"

It's your turn to laugh now,

"Jake, this is our house, I need to set up a will anyway and we can discuss options with a lawyer if you want."

Jake looks satisfied with that answer. He looks at the list of questions,

"So, kids, yes or no, and how many?" he asks.

"I do want a family, not giant, but at least two kids. All the only children I know are kind of weird. Seeing you with Ellie and Gigi made something click on in my uterus, because I was definitely filled with the urge to give you babies."

"I'm sure I could help you with that primal urge," he jokes,

"I'd like a family, but as I said before you get to make the ultimate decisions on all of that because it's your body and you'll bear the brunt of it."

"Fair, would we both work if we had kids? I don't really think I'd like to be a stay-at-home mom, I'd like to keep building my career."

"While in an ideal world you or I could take a multi year sabbatical and raise some kids, I'd expect that we'd both want to work, and I'm okay with hiring a nanny or daycare, are you?"

"Yeah, I am. I was a daycare kid as my mom was a teacher. I went during the school year and I think there's some good to it, the socialization. It just depends on finding the solution that feels right."

"Alright, hit me, what's next?" Jake asks, rolling his shoulders.

“How do you feel about me keeping my last name? You've casually mentioned me changing my name."

Jake thinks for a moment,

"I just assumed you would, you know tradition and what not, why wouldn't you?"

"My whole professional life is under Matthews, my patents, licenses, and journal articles. All under Matthews, keeping that consistent is important to my professional reputation. Plus, it always felt a little patronizing and demeaning to me. It feels like a relic from the past when women were just traded around by fathers to husbands like property."

Jake's face twists into a disagreeable expression, his mouth pulled tight.

"I guess, I've always thought of it being a unifying thing, like 'Team Seresin'. Not you submitting to me like property."

He looks worried as he continues to speak,

"Do you not want to be Mrs. Lieutenant Seresin? Were you going to change it for Liam?"

"No, I wasn't and that's not what I'm saying, it's just arbitrary that it has to be the woman who changes her name, do you want to be Mr. Dr. Matthews?"

He shakes his head,

"Why would I change my name? It's not what people do."

"Jake, just because it's been done that way for a long time, doesn't mean we have to do it. We can be committed to each other without the same last name."

You sigh a little louder than you should.

"I just thought that it would be something that brings us together, being the Seresins, a family unit. What if we have kids, what is their last name going to be?" he asks and clenches his jaw waiting for the answer.

"I'm more than fine with them having Seresin as a last name. I wouldn't want to burden a kid with a hyphenated last name."

"You could hyphenate, what about being Elsa Seresin-Matthews?"

Jake raises his eyebrows like he's found the magic solution.

"That's a giant pain in the ass and you know it." you huff, feeling your cheeks heat up. Jake's eyebrows drop and furrow together as he considers what he's going to say next.

"Elsa," you're surprised he's using your full name and not just El,

"I can understand why you wouldn't want to change your name, but it just feels like you're bucking tradition just to do it."

"That's what you got from this discussion? I'm just being contrary for the fun of it? Please stop saying it's tradition, because sometimes tradition is a word for the stupid way we've always done things."

You wince internally at the last part, momentarily forgetting how much of Jake's life is ruled by tradition and the Navy.

Jake's mouth stretches into a thin flat line, his anger telegraphing across the room.

You and Jake are now staring each other down, obviously both angry. You're about ready to leap in for another round like the hot headed idiot you can be when Jake holds up his hands in a surrender motion.

"Let's hold up a second. You've said your piece and I've said mine. I think we need to cool off and separate for a bit before we make this nasty. I know how I can be a righteous asshole when I'm pissed off and I don't want to go there."

You take a deep breath,

"Fine, I'm going to go for a bike ride, might as well use this energy for something."

Jake nods curtly, acknowledging you.

You change into your workout gear and head out on your bicycle. As you round the corner of the block, your phone dings with a message from Jake,

"Went for a run."

You snort that he's also expending angry energy in a physical way. Your conversation plays over and over in your head. Changing your name, beyond the professional reasons, just always felt off. Like you know intrinsically that you're Elsa S. Matthews, PE, PhD. The way Jake didn't really get the professional reasons why keeping your name the same was probably what hurt the most. He knows how important your career is to you. Changing names and not having that continuous professional history could undermine your career. Just another piece of bullshit female professionals have to deal with. Another mile and your white hot rage dims and your brain fixates on the rhythm of "Elsa S. Matthews". The syllables syncing up over and over in time with your legs pushing down the pedals as you try to burn this frantic electric energy.

You stop to look out over the bay and it occurs to you that there is a compromise here, the S standing for Samantha, a name you don't care about. You weren't named for anyone, your mom said she read it in a novel when she was pregnant and liked it. How easy would it be to change your middle name to Seresin? Elsa Seresin Matthews. You can keep your professional name the same, Elsa S. Matthews. That feels right to you, like the joining of names not obliterating one for the other or tacking on a clunky name at the end of a full name.

Your ride home is quick and you fall into the same rhythm as before except to Elsa Seresin Matthews. Desperate to find Jake and resolve this, you pick up your pace.

Arriving home and you put your bike away as fast as you can, desperate to see Jake. You walk in through the back door just as Jake walks in through the front door shirtless, sweaty, and wearing rather skimpy running shorts. His golden treasure trail just peeking out of the waistband. Your brain automatically wants you to wrap your legs around his waist and fuck him as soon as possible, but you know you and Jake need to talk.

You meet in the middle of the living room and start talking at the same time,

"El, I didn't–

"Jake, I was being–"

He cock his head when you laugh.

"This feels like a rom com where the characters fight over something to add a conflict to the plot. Like we both just enter the house at the same time and start talking over each other."

He cracks a smile and starts to talk, "El, I didn't think through all the professional implications of changing your name. I can see how that would upset you, given how hard you've worked and how much your career means to you. I was wrong to diminish that."

You swear you see a light bulb go on above Jake's head. Like he unlocked the Rosetta Stone, and figured out what bothered you most.

"Did anyone ever tell you you're a smart one?" you tell him. He smiles and shakes his head.

"You're right that's why I got upset. I don't fault you for assuming that I'd change my name, a lot of women do. I also can see how it looks like I'm rejecting your name and in a way you."

Jake looks away for a second.

"It stung, and I fixated on us having the same last name as something critical to being married, when it's not."

He takes your hands in his,

"Us being married and committed to each other whatever our names are is the important part."

"I have a proposition," he raises his eyebrow and takes a step toward you. You laugh at him as you stop him with your hands on his chest, his hands landing on your wrists,

"Not that kind of one, yet. Keeping my name as Elsa S. Matthews is important for me, but the S stands for Samantha. A name I have no affinity for, my mom got it from a trashy romance novel. I want to change my middle name to Seresin. A name that means a lot to me and to you. What do you think?"

The panty dropper smile blooms wide and open on his face,

"You're calling me smart, but you are the smart one. I would be very touched if you took my name as your middle name. I was at peace, okay, a grumbly peace," he slightly rolls his eyes, "With you keeping your name, but I really like this idea. Elsa Seresin Matthews, sounds good."

You lean up to kiss him,

"I'm glad. And we just had an honest to goodness fight, didn't we? I think we came through it all right, good communication skills, go us."

You wave a tiny pretend flag with your hand in celebration.

Jake pulls you close to him, and whispers in your ear, his voice low,

"Know what the best part of a fight is?"

A shiver rolls along your spine as Jake drops a light kiss just under your ear. His hands sliding down your back to grab your ass and pull you close to him.

You stutter a little as you answer,

"N-no, what's the best part?"

He smirks into your neck, stopping his efforts to give you a hickey he replies,

"The make-up sex."

A wave of arousal flushes down your body as you gaze into Jake's eyes, the green blown out by his pupils wide with desire. His hands slide from your ass to under your thighs. He lifts you up with ease and your legs finally wrap around his waist. You kiss him like you're both running out of oxygen and you're trying to steal it from each other's lungs. He backs you up to the nearest wall and pins you up against the wall, his legs supporting you and your hands around his neck. You are grinding at each other desperate for some friction. You whine because you're wearing padded bike shorts, and you can't feel Jake like you need to.

"Need more,” you pant against his lips,

“Need you,” he also pants against your neck, where his head had slipped down.

He unzips your bike jersey to get more of your skin against his, and he huffs,

"Stupid sports bra.”

"Put me down for a second."

He lets you down gently and you peel your clothing off as fast as you can. Jake has the same idea and pulls his running shorts and underwear off in one smooth motion. As soon as he can he pulls you back up to him, moaning at the contact of skin on skin. He steadies you against the wall again, your legs wrapping around his waist on instinct.

"I didn't think you'd be able to rip through my bike shorts like you did my underwear," you gasp out as Jake enters you. Jake's only answer is a string of curse words and sex babble, "Fuck, god you feel so good, El. Love you so much."

“Love you so much, Jake.”

He starts a fast rhythm, your mutual need to be close and chase your highs spurring him on. The feeling of being completely surrounded by Jake and his hard wall of muscle, his scent, and the feeling of your sweat mixing as you slide against each other is amazingly overwhelming. Your brain is reduced to one thought as he pounds into you,

“Jake. Jake. Jake.”

Jake lifts you a little higher, grips your thighs a bit harder, and you are seeing stars as his cock hits the deepest spots in you.

"Love you, oh fuck, right there, so good. Don't stop," you plead with him.

The pleasure is overwhelming with each thrust, the room is filled with only your heavy breathing, moans, and the obscene sound of fucking and skin slapping on skin for the next few minutes.

"Touch yourself, El, make yourself come, so beautiful when you come on my cock,” Jake grits out as he grips your thighs and ass harder. You comply, and snake your hand down and start rubbing your clit frantically, trying to match the pace. You look Jake in the eyes and start talking,

"I wanted to wrap my legs around you the second I saw you come through the door, half naked, sweaty, and my god, your chest. Want to fuck you all the time."

Jake's reaction is to pound harder and faster, erasing your ability to form coherent sentences.

“Fuck, El. I want you all the fucking time. I can't believe this pussy is all mine.”

"Fuck, I'm so close, Jake, so close. Come with me, please."

Your climax slams through you like a car hitting a brick wall. Your eyes close involuntarily, and you can see stars dance across your eyelids.

“Fuck, El. Milking me so good, so fucking tight,” Jake grits out as comes, right on the heels of your orgasm. His hot come filling you up as you spasm around him on each wave of residual pleasure. Somehow Jake holds you up through the aftershocks, his head on your shoulder as you catch your breath. He kisses you sweetly on the lips, and says,

"I'm going to put you down now, you good to stand?"

You just nod and hum as he pulls out and sets you down. You wrap your arms around his torso to lay your head on his chest, only to realize how sweaty it is. I pull my face back and suggest,

"I think it's time for a shower, we both are sweaty and reek of sex."

"Excellent idea." He responds, and you can see from the look on Jake's face that he has more thoughts for later.

Chapter 20

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The Artists Game

Chapter 1 Notebooks

A girl was sitting in art class waiting for the end of it so she could head home to try and spend some time with her mom before she left for a important business trip. Aika, like many people living in Japan, enjoyed art and watching TV with her mother. However, she didn't like to converse much with other students leaving her to ultimately sitting in the back of her classes. Her attempt to use her hair to cover her face on the left side so people didn't notice her was a fail. While listening to the teachers lecture before the bell rang for summer vacation a certain someone started talking to her.

"Hey Aika!" A boy yelled, making her look up from her note book.

"What is it, Haru?" Aika asked looking at the boy who called her.

"You're free tonight right? I got a new game and I thought we could have a good time." Haru suggested.

"Sorry, but I can't, my mom is going away on a business trip and her rules are to not go to anyone's house while she's gone," Aika explained with a frown. 

It seemed like no matter how hard she tried not to be noticed, Haru's attention seemed to always fall on her. She'd rather it not be like that, trust issues is a little thing she picked up after past events when she was young. It kind of started to seem like Haru only talked to her because he was also a bit of a loner. Not that she was (At least she wouldn't admit it out loud).

It was obvious he was disheartened, but chose to stay quiet and go back to the teachers boring lesson. The school bell rang, it only took less than a minute for everyone to file out the classroom. Aika knew Haru was hurt from her decline to hang out, but spending time with her mom was more important. Plus it was the only person she truly felt comfortable around.

As the students were leaving, the teacher yelled " Id like to remind you that I'm teaching summer school! Last chance to sign up!"

*Yeah no. I'm not doing that. I have a perfect idea of my summer...spending time with my mom and my drawings* she thought smiling to herself

Once out the classroom, Aika went to her locker to collect her things. It was bluntly interrupted by the throb of her scalp as her hair was yanked on.

" Look who it is, the loner " the familiar voiced called out in a snarky tone.

Aika rolled her her eyes knowing well who it was and really didn't want to deal with her right now.

"Hello Amaya, what do you want?" said Aika 

"Oh I just noticed you dyed the ends of your hair to purple, I really don't know why it wont make a difference " Amaya spoke while dragging Aika's hair along her hands.

" Why do you even care Amaya? " Yanking her own hair back behide her, Aika rolled her eyes in annoyance.

" I wouldn't any other day but I have to look at it and I'd hate to ruin my eyes with the sight of your hair. So why don't I do you a favor and fix it! " Quickly grabbing a pair of scissors from her pocket, she yanked Aika's hair to where she almost fell.

Tears peaked at the corner of Aika's eyes as the chances of getting out of this were slim, Amaya would've hit her if it weren't for the very angry male voice calling out to them. Both of them turned to see their principal standing there, presumably glaring at Amaya.

" Amaya. My Office, now " He spoke sternly.

She let go of Aika's hair with a mumble, stroking her hair trying to calm herself. Aika watched them both walk away but not before she caught Amaya's death glare.

(Aika's POV)

My name? Aika. Age? Fourteen years old. I live with my mom, I would say I have friends but I don't. I used to though. Until Amaya got accepted as a cheerleader and decided I wasn't good enough for her....I haven't made another friend since then. My drawings are all the social connection I need. That and my mom.

Besides Amaya, there is only one other person that makes my school experience a nightmare. Hinote. The captain of the football team. His huge ego and determination to get with every girl in the school has made me a constant target. It doesn't help that Amaya also likes him. She thinks I like him as well but that just makes her as dumb as she looks.

" Hey Aika~ " Apart of Aika wished she was invisible or could teleport.

(3rd Person point of view)

Aika turned around and saw Hinote leaning against a locker with a flirty smile on his face.

" What do you want, Hinote " she said turning to him.

"Hmm I want your heart," Hinote said while winking at her.

" I'm sure you do " Sarcasm coating Aika's voice " My answer is still the same, no! " She turned trying to leave.

Hinote grabbed a hold of her arms and whispered in her ear, "Aww you're still playing hard to get I like that in a girl."

Managing to pull out of his grip a lightbulb went off in her mind.

" Hey Hinote, ist that the girl on the swim team? The one with big boobs? I think she's still in her bathing suit. "

Just as he whipped around to look for the girl, Aika made a mad dash for the school exit doors. By the time he turned back around she was gone.

(Outside the school)

Aika, looking through her bag to make sure she didn't leave anything let out a sigh of relief. Walking up to the trash can she dumped all the study packets, the endless sheets of notes and anything else that was now useless.

* Finally, school is over! At least for three months * Aika said to herself.

Putting her bag back on she headed back in the direction of home. After a daunting fifteen minutes of walking she made it to the door unlocking it with her set of keys. Aika made sure to set her shoes with the others slowly making her way to the living room that connected to the kitchen.

Unfortunately the house only held her as Aika's mother was no where to be seen. Knowing her mom left already made her heart throb slightly, but work is work. She'll be back within a week so it didn't hurt that much. Besides, she's been left home before and was trusted with not burning the house down.

That and the low crime rate for her neighborhood, the occasional candy bar stealing or a bag of chip. Giving no more attention to the empty house, Aika locked the door and went to her room to get out of the discomfort of the sweaty clothes she had been wearing all day.

Aika opened the very well loved purple and black painted door entering her room. Switching on the lights she was relaxed seeing the room she would be in for the next three months everyday day. The purple ish black wall adorned skulls and many other things most people would see as Gothic. She didn't really care though.

Aika then took her back pack off and hung it up on a hook attached to the wall before taking her school uniform off and threw it to the ground.

* Ugh, finally out of that thing * Aika said to herself, just relieved to be out of those clothes.

She then went to her dresser that was right next to her bed that was on the right side of the room that was facing outwards. She opened it up and began digging through all her dresses and soon picked a dress that was sleeveless, black on the top, with a black corset in the midsection, the skirt was purple.

She slipped the dress over her head and slipped on, once it was on she grabed the clips that held the dress up and cliped them on the back of her neck. She then pulled out a pair of knee high purple socks that had black bats decorated on them. After she was done changing, Aika opened her backpack and pulled out her note book along with her other drawing utensils and went back down to the living room to draw and watch some TV.

(Several hours later)

Aika was so deep into drawing that once she was done with the previous one, there were no more pages. Glancing at her clock she watched it flash 9:00pm as the sky outside matched it.

* I don't wanna cook...that store has a restaurant in it though, and notebooks. I guess it's worth the trip * She thought to herself while getting up.

Heading downstairs, she walked to the back door after putting on her shoes. A deep black colored the sky, the flashlight that hung from one of the hangers caught her eye. Grabbing the flashlight she made her way to the store.

Looking at the wooden porch and newly cut grass with the painted fence, she smiled at herself. Aika and her mother had did it last week together, it was fun. Aika walked across the yard opening the fence gate making sure to lock it once she passed through it before making the two minute walk across the road to the store.

When she entered the building she looked, curious on how busy it was at this time of night. However no one seemed to really be in the store aside from a couple that was obviously not from Japan...probably American.

* Man, they must be pretty well grounded to come here * She thought

Aika's excitement for a new notebook was cut short when she saw that they were unfortunately out of stock. She groaned in annoyance at her luck, being reduced to having to watch horror movies and anime. To Aika, drawing was her one way to block out and escape her miserable life while her mom wasn't home. Her mom was just- if not more important than drawing to her as both things were a light in her life. The only light.

* This is just fantastic, knowing the system here they won't have a new stock in a week- dammit! * She thought angrily.

" Whatever, I'll get some food and take my butt home " Aika mumbled to herself before going up to the front to scan the menu.

"Oh Hey Aika." A familliar male voice said.

Aika looked at the worker quickly recognizing him from school as they were in the same class, the only student who ever actually talked to her.

" Haru?! You work here now? " She asked surprised.

" Yeah I just started last week, this place is awesome! " He exclaimed happily, Aika could tell he loved his job

"Oh cool, I'd like some takoyaki with no sauce and onigiri grilled with tuna in it to go please." Aika said, placing her order.

"Okay your total is 300 Yen." Haru said.

Aika pulled out her purple wallet with a white skull on it, taking the total out for the order. She handed it to Haru and he placed it in the register before disappearing back into the back. As Aika waited she heard a voice that made her head ache...the last person in the world she wanted to see right after summer started.

" I didn't know the store had you in stock~ " Hinote said seductively.

"Oh my god why are you here?" Aika asked angrily.

"Oh my dad was taking me to see a friend of his and we stopped by to get something. He's in the car because his feet are hurting so it's only me here babe." Hinote explained in a flirty tone.

"Well get your things and go back to your dad, I'm just here to get some food and I don't want to be bothered." Aika explained in an obvious tone that would let anyone know she doesn't want to talk anymore.

"Oh well, why should I go so soon? Since you are here why dont I stay a little longer?" Hinote asked smiling like he just won the ultimate prize.

" You said you were here with your dad? Go back before he drives off without you, it's late and I don't want to be bothered " She spoke. Aika's angry slowly reaching it's breaking point.

Without warning he wrapped his arms around Aika, grabbing onto her chest. Her fast reflexes caused Aika to whip around and landed a punch right to his face. Hinote met the ground with a loud thud.

"DON'T TOUCH ME YOU FREAK!" Aika screamed angrily.

" You get what you deserve. Leave my store, now " A man's voice said calmly with a hint of anger.

The two looked towards the side of the store and saw the manager. He had witnessed everything from Hinote walking in to him assaulting Aika. He knew her mother, they were regulars. Loved by him, he knew well that Aika only acted out of discomfort, reflex, and defense

"B-But she punched me!" Hinote exclaimed.

"Because you grabbed her, so let that be a lesson for when you grab a woman without their permission. Now get what you need here and leave before I make things ugly by calling the police and reporting you for this inappropriate behavior. My store has cameras so it'll surely have what you did on it." The Manager firmly said letting Hinote know that he wasn't welcomed there for much longer.

So Hinote got up, glared at Aika and the manager, before getting the item he needed, paying for it and left the store in a huff.

"Thanks for that." Aika said to the manager.

"Hey it's just my job and I promised your mom that I'd take care of you while she was gone, so if you need anything let me know." The manager said before heading back into his office.

Soon Haru came out with a bag that had Aika's food in it. She then took the bag, thanked Haru and waited in the the store, to allow Hinote to leave the area as she didn't want to deal with him anymore today. She soon saw his car leave and saw that his father wasn't in it, so she guessed he was off to cause trouble with his friends. Once she saw that he was gone she started walking out the door just wanting to get home, eat, and rest after what just happened.

"Hey Aika wait!" Haru called out.

Aika stopped, turned around, and asked "Yeah what do you need?"

" I saw you looking in the art section and forgive me if I'm wrong, but it looked like you were searching for the notebooks. I know they keep them on those shelves " He explained as his face displayed his flustered expression.

" Yeah I do, as an artist I use them up alot. The ' no friends ' thing doesn't help either. Why does it matter though? I know they won't be in stock for another week " Aika admitted still frustrated at having to wait.

" Oh! Well...I don't need it and I don't mind giving it to you, so here " Haru said holding the notebook out in front of him.

" Ha, it's the same design as the walls in my room. The book, I mean. "

" Oh! Really? I just got this and another one online, the website I bought them off asked if I want to join the artist game " Haru explained.

"Oh I wonder what that meant?" Aika asked, confused.

"I don't know it might just be an art contest, anyway here I've seen what you've drawn and it's really cool." Haru happily said.

"Thanks I really need this while my mom is out." Aika said while taking the notebook and leaving.

* Hinote...I won't let someone like you who spreads STD's like wildfires have Aika * Haru's face contorting to a scowl and the previous assault incident flashed in his mind.

He then got out his notebook and started drawing in it under the counter, he couldnt help but smile a little as he knew what he was going to do. He was going to make Hinote regret what he did to Aika and for all the bullying he put Haru through over the years.

(At Aika's house)

When Aika got in she took her shoes off and didn't bother putting them away properly since she was tired, mostly from the encounter with Hinote. So she just left her shoes where they were and went to the kitchen to eat her food. While she was eating she decided to get out the new notebook and start drawing in it. When she opened it she saw that the notebook had a purple pen in it and a little text that read "write your name and home state to enter the Artists game."

Confused, Aika didn't take it as anything. She wrote her name and state in the box. She started drawing characters and creatures unaware of the consequences, she just entered herself into The Artist Game.

(Somewhere else)

Hinote was hanging outside with his friends in an alleyway. They were smoking and conversing about what happened back in the store.

"Wow, I can't believe she punched you, must be playing really hard to get." One if Hinote's friends said.

" Yeah. I'll get her soon, all the other girls have fallen for me and she will too " he said confidently while taking another puff of his weed.

The metallic almost plastic like sound of cans was heard by the back of the alley. All three boys stood up peering into the cold dark void that was the alleyway.

" Hey! Who's there?! If it's one of you homeless fucks I promise you'll feel pain like no other! " Hinote yelled trying to sound aggressive, he could hear the fear in his voice which didn't help.

Fast swift footsteps began to aggressively approach them, they all stared in fear as a tall, thin black monster emerged from the shadows. It wielded blades, not for a normal weapon like a knife...but it's own hands.

The boys all screamed for their mothers as they tried to run away from it. Their effort would amount to nothing, the creature being too fast for them to outrun it sliced through their bodies killing them. The alleyway walls and ground now coated with a fresh crimson color. It loomed over their bodies for a minute until it shriveled up like discarded paper and torn apart.

Just then a woman walked by the alleyway. The strong scent of blood and death pulling her attention. Scanning the alleyway, she shrieked in horror as she saw the mutilated bodies of the unlucky teenage boys.

Their shrieking attracted the attention of the people in the apartment complex and convent store nearby. Some other people rushed out and were horrified when they saw the horrific scene. Some people fainted, others threw up, and another man was calling the police.

They soon arrived within a few minutes after receiving the distressing call along with an ambulance and a cleanup crew to care for the bodies and fainted people. The chief of police was looking around the crime scene for a murder weapon - just anything that could point them in the direction of what did this.

"Sir we didn't find any weapons, all we found were just shreds of paper." The officer told his commander and showed him the said paper shreds.

"Still someone had to have done this. After all people don't just split in half for no reason." The commander said angrily.

"I know sir and we'll figure out what happened, don't worry." The officer said, trying to reassure his boss.

The commander thankfully calmed down... till he remembered that he would have to tell the parents of the boys and that's something no one wants to do.

(In Haru's house)

Haru was in his room looking at his notebook with a satisfied look on his face.

* I knew my creature wouldn't let me down. Ah, I love this game * Haru said to himself

"Haru come down dinners ready and your fathers home!" Haru's mother called to her son.

"Okay mom coming!" Haru called out before closing the notebook and hiding it under his mattress so his sister wouldn't take it.

He then pulled out a picture of Aika from under his mattress and looked at it for a bit before kissing it.

" Aika... you're so beautiful, don't worry that bastard won't ever bother you again. I'll make sure that no one will EVER hurt you again " Haru spoke softly before putting the photo back under his mattress and heading downstairs to join his family for dinner.

[foryourxyz]

The Daughter

Something that I hate is being called lazy. And that I think stems from shame as well. From the conviction that I AM those things my ex called me: a moocher, a lazy bum, unmotivated. Or, even more simply put by my mother: just plain lazy.

“When are you going to wash that?” My mom is on the couch, and I’m at the kitchen table in front of my laptop, working.

I'm overwhelmed. Every time I get interrupted I feel rage course through my veins. I reign in my temper. Try not to snap at my child. Or my brother. Or my mother.

“Are you going to leave it forever? It doesn't take long”

“I know. I have one.” I try to remember what I was doing, “I had to scrub mine with kosher salt and a halved potato to get rid of the rust “

“But if you just wash it and put it on the stove to dry it won't rust,” she says calmly.

“I know. I have one,” I repeat, then pull my eyes away from the screen to look at my child, who is calling me repeatedly. I'm holding my breath. It's the opposite of what I'm supposed to do, but in the moment, I don't notice. My body is tense. My shoulders are hunched up near my ears. 

“Look at this!”Child says, and slurps spaghetti.

“Well did you forget? Or was it just laziness?”

My back aches from the tension. Not my lower back, but the middle bit, the muscles behind my lungs. I don't answer. My child is still asking me to look at the spaghetti slurping and asking if it’s fast or slow, but asking me to say fast if I say slow. I don't answer my mother. I no longer remember what I was working on. 

“I've never forgotten,” she continues, unaware of what’s going on inside of my body.

“Well, you're not sick in the head like me,” I snap, a lot softer than I want to. I'm surprised I said anything at all. These days, my way of getting through each day is to disclose as little as possible about myself, my life, and especially my feelings. I don't want any interactions. I don't want more stress. I don't want anything to be harder than it already is, because it already feels impossible. 

My brother makes a comment about hitting me with the pan. Or maybe it was my mother, once my brother had repeated my comment to her. They're too alike for my memory to distinguish them sometimes. 

“You can't blame your illness for everything!” My mother chides. 

Well, seeing as how it feels like a constant crippling weight now that I'm unmedicated, uninsured, and without a therapist in a high-stress, uncomfortable situation from which my body wants to either flee or claw through everything in sight in a blind rage and yet I somehow do the impossible and keep myself from doing either, then yes, mother. Yes, I think I can blame my “illness” for lacking both the presence of mind and motivation to wash the damn pan. 

“I'll buy you a new one,” I say without thinking, eyes moving back to the computer screen, my right leg bouncing a mile a minute. 

“That’s ridiculous.” She says and repeats the statement about it not being that hard. Then: “I think it's just laziness.” 

I feel her looking at me. I don't look back. I just sigh, then turn away from my screen once again and tell my toddler to yes, please, slurp the spaghetti fast not slow. 

[aquaaquila]

Ah yes, because you can get perfect sound quality from someone at the top of the Ferris wheel, and you certainly would know who or which Kagami it is. And for a very public area, it rather deserted quickly (no Alya-like peeps around when cars are being thrown left and right) and with the logic of people noticing Kagami, one could wonder how no one noticed Marinette or Adrien.

And even if Kagami's identity was compromised, Chloe herself clearly had no idea as she was surprised to see her. Like who even told you Chloe knew Kagami's identity, the show clearly didn't. My point still stands as the cast is not as much in the loop as the audience is.

Sometimes, not always, and just because she sometimes picks people related to akumas does not mean she will always pick them. Like for example she didn't bring Viperion to Crocoduel, even though his parents were akumatized. Only Purple Tigress was needed.

Alya's parents were in danger in sentibubbler, which Shadow Moth took advantage of to convince Alya to betray LB. Rena's illusion however was on point regarding LB's thought of process of already being two steps ahead and sensing somethin's off, hence she benched Alya and promised to find another holder for the job. It happens, there's no one concrete rule regarding such stuff as otherwise Shadow Moth would exploit it and use it to his advantage (which he actually did in Loveater).

Chloe didn't fight back, she only defended hersel. And at that point, LB was used to Chat Noir's constant sacrifices and wasn't this tired of them yet as much. And it was also a matter of quick reaction, if Nino got hit instead, it would end up the same.

And yet you frame it as an actual struggle when she had no time for that.

I disagree on it being a dick move as while Chloe tied her sense if purpose to the bee miraculous, it was not her property, nor LB's at the time. Not only LB doesn't owe Chloe to bring the hair comb everytime, she also just can't with HM taking particular interest in her. And while she interrupted the date, she didn't ruin it entirely. Like seriously, fir a Chloe defender who points out Chloe's emotional state affecting her, you fail to put the same thing to Marinette. Marinette was not being purposefully petty, simple as that.

Also, am I tripping or do you actually can't see Ryuko's capabilities? For starters she's much quicker and elusive than QB, so she wouldn't get caught immediately. And she also can do fine damage without getting very close. Not to mention her focus, and far better combat experience. QB could try to use her venom only to be immediately shot. Good job, wasted a miraculous. And LB was literally about to execute her lucky charm, the fight was going in LB's favor per usual. That is, if that was the actual point.

Marinette literally has no idea what it's like to be abused or how abused kids feel. She rather has a pretty good homelife so it's hard for her to imagine a mother not loving her kid. And it's not like Marinette could bond this two other than callousness they share as Chloe either doesn't have any worth-noting to Marinette or something Audrey would appreciate. And mind you, at the time she did not intend to help Chloe redeem herself. This happened later, at that moment Mari probably thought it was the first and last time Chloe used a miraculous, but at least she got her mom back which is what Chloe wanted, but definitely not what she needed. Oh and Mari didn't call Chloe useless to her face, she called her exceptionally malicious.

Marinette did what she could and handled it as best as possible. It might've not been enough for Chloe, but it doesn't mean Marinegge shouldn't have tried at all ir that she's responsible for her downfall and it's her who made it worse. That is Hawk Moth's blame, along with the adults that refused to follow LB's example of trying to reach out to her. And Marinette did something while Adrien did nothing.

Shdow Moth lirerally eavesdropped the conversation Mirage Alya and LB had about her being benched. Sentibubbler was there, SM heard everything through him and was surprised to learn she still uses miraculous afterward.

Like look dude, I'd love to debate more, but now it appears you kind of bend the truth and events rather than interpretting them and you salt on Mari way too hard to make it a valid point. Like, I advice taking step back and rethinking your stance before this conversation will completely devolve into pretty much "Marinette's so evil, Chloe did nothing wrong" which is an extreme no one would take seriously. Heck I'm arguing for the sake of cutting slack from Marinette here anyway, I don't disagree with Chloe being let down by people around, I just don't think Mari should take most credit for this.

that time TA tweeted "you can behave like the worst garbage, all you need is a micro-good deed for all of a sudden, many will forgive everything." as an insult to people who saw good in Chloé and liked her as a character despite him saying over and over again that she's bad and a bully and yet he wants us to believe Felix is one of the "genuinely good guys" after all that he did in his debut ep and S4-5 like. eugh.

Well, you see, the difference between the two is that while Chloe betrayed Ladybug and stole all of her Miraculous, Felix betrayed Ladybug and... stole all of her Miraculous...

Okay, while Chloe used her Miraculous to endanger innocent lives the second she got it, Felix used his Miraculous to... endanger innocent lives the second he got it...

Give me a minute here. Ah, got it! While Chloe views anyone who isn't like her as expendable, Felix views anyone who isn't like him as... expendable...

Yeah, I got nothing that really justifies this.

[kampfkuchen85]

Say you won't give up - Part 6

Characters: Keisuke Baji, Manjiro ‘Mikey’ Sano, Takashi Mitsuya, reader

Note: the story takes places during the time when Toman was just founded, so the boys and Y/N are ~13 years old

Genre: Angst!

Part 1 - previous - Part 6 - next

Masterlist

===============================================

He was at your house the next day as he promised, even at the exact time you two met each other yesterday at the shrine. He knocked on the door and waited, but instead of you or your aunt, who he had already seen yesterday hiding behind the curtain, a small girl opened the door.

“Huh?”

He remembered that you mentioned a cousin yesterday, but you didn´t told him that it was a maybe 6-year-old girl, looking at him with wide eyes and reminding him somehow of Mitsuyas sister.

“How can I help you?”

“Um…”, he needed a moment to find his voice, “is Y/N there? I want to pick her up.”

She was holding the door frame like she didn't want him to take a look inside.

“She can't go outside. Nee-chan is here, but she is having one of her ‘bad days’.”

“One of what?”

“Sorry…”

The small girl closed the door right before his nose, so he couldn't ask anymore questions.

“One of her ‘bad days’?”

Were you on your period? He heard something like that before. A monthly sickness only girls get where they're just staying in bed because of the constant pain. How long does that last? He didn't know. Maybe he should ask Mikey - he could ask his sister Emma.

He's putting his phone back into his pocket after he tried to call you, recognizing that your phone is off, and making his way to the other guys at the Musashi shrine.

___________________________________________________________

“Hey Baji. Where's your girlfriend?”, Pah yelled over the whole place.

“Do you mean Y/N?”, he grumbled. “She's not my girlfriend, she's just my pal.”

“Yeah, yeah, Romeo, where is she?”

“I was at her house to pick her up, but her little cousin said that she can't go out, because she's having one of the bad days.”

Everyone looked at him confused.

“What does that mean?”

“I don't know. Maybe girlyshit like periods or something”, he shrugged his shoulders. “So…what's up, guys? Wanna recruit some new members for Toman? Our gang has to grow.”

Mikey nodded in agreement and splitted the six founding members in three pairs - Baji and Kazutora, Mitsuya and Pah, while he was going with Draken.

Mitsuya was the only one who knew what Bajis' words meant.

‘One of the bad days? Tell me this is a joke…’

He was deep in his thoughts while he was walking around with Pah, who already forgot about that comment.

You didn't seem like you were ill. Did Baji already know? No, his reaction would have been different at the shrine.

Pah wasn´t the right contact person, so he had to wait till they met again at the shrine and then talk to Draken or Mikey - they´ll know what to do, right?

_________________________________________________________

“Mikey, can I talk to you for a minute?”

The meeting was already dismissed when Mitsuya called out Mikey's name.

“Sure.”

Mikey was confused why Mitsuya suddenly wanted to talk to him in private, but he agreed without hesitation while he sat down on the stairs again.

“What is it?”

“Um…”, Mitsuya couldn´t find the right words at first, struggling to express his concerns, “I wanted to talk to you about what Baji said earlier…about Y/N.”

“That she's on her period? Yeah, I know how that works. Emma told me. It´s-...”

“No”, Mitsuya interrupted him. “That's not what I meant. I meant the part with ‘one of the bad days’.”

Mikey waited for an explanation, because he had no clue what Mitsuya meant.

“It's a term used by or for sick people. I remember that my Mom used that term when she talked about my grandma and she was sick then too. There are good days where you can´t tell that they're sick and then there are the bad days where they aren't able to leave the bed.”

“I understand what you mean”, Mikey nodded, “but Y/N doesn't look sick.”

“That's why she's showing up only on her good days and if her cousin really used those words….maybe she doesn't want us to know about her condition…I don´t know….maybe I read too much into it.”

He felt like a foul. Maybe it was really just your period, but those words were stuck in his head.

“....and the fact that they met each other twice at the same spot, in a hospital….sorry, but I have a bad feeling about this.”

Mikey laid his hand onto Mitsuyas shoulder to encourage him, giving him a wide smile.

“You´re such a pessimist. Think positive. She's not sick. She's too young to be sick.”

“Probably you're right…”

He didn't agree with Mikey's opinion, but he had said everything that was on his mind. No one was too young to be sick, the reality is much crueler, most of the time it hits the wrong people, no matter if you´re 80 or 13 like you are now.

“We´ll keep an eye on her and support her when she needs something, okay? That's what Toman is about.”

These words were just whispered, but they relieved him immensely.

“After all she´s Bajis girlfriend, right?”

============================================

Taglist: closed

@amajikisupremacy @satsuri3su @bontensbabygirl

________________________________________________________

Don’t copy this story to another website nor translate it into another language without asking me first!

[virtual-luvr]

Take a look at my boyfriend!

Pairing: Reki x Reader

Pronouns: he/him

Content: gay, gay, more gay..

Description: you catch Reki talking about you to his mom

Note: another reki fic....im sorry i cant help myself. Also this isn't really a song fic i just wanted to use like two lyrics from Cupids Chokehold :p

------------------

Reki loved you so much, you had been there for him since the start. Through the highs and lows, you always seemed to cheer him up immensely. He didnt know how to describe it.

And you had met his mother already, many times since you usually slept over at his. She loved you almost as much as Reki did, she always had cake ready for you too.

Though you usually gave it to Rekis little sisters...

You didn't mind though, you loved his siblings a lot, they were basically your siblings as well sometimes.

Speaking of sleeping over, thats exactly what you were doing right now.

You said your goodbyes to your mother before stepping out of the car, grabbing your bag, and walking to Rekis house.

Before you could even knock Reki had already opened the door and pulled you into a soul crushing hug, happy to be able to see you again.

"I missed you.." he says, you could basically hear the pout just by his voice.

The snuggling at the front door was quickly interrupted as Rekis sisters run up to you, happy to see you again and wanting you to pick them up.

"Up?" You ask the twins and they excitedly jump up trying to grab at you.

You laugh as you grab both of them and hold them close, trying not to lose your grip on them as they thrash around happily.

Reki grumbles as your attention diverts from him, to his siblings. Its so loud you look up and hes glaring playfully as the twins.

"Rekiii its fine we can hang out together in a second"

At your words Reki whines while closing the door behind you, still annoyed at how he isnt getting any attention.

At Rekis constant whining, his siters snicker. They always laugh when they do shenanigins like these because they know it riles Reki up.

"Hey thats my boyfriend you know!" He says and the twins only snicker even more.

You walk for a bit before meeting with Rekis mother in the kitchen. Like usual, she was preparing a cake.

You gasp once you see how good it smells.

"Ah your back! I'm so glad to see you again, Reki did tell me you might be coming"

You greet her with a small hug after placing down the twins on the floor, despite their protests they still let you out them down.

As soon as Reki sees your hands are empty, he rushes towards you and grabs your hand happily before running with you to his room.

You hear his mother scold him before her voice is barely audible, the only sound you hear is the blankets on Rekis bed softly shifting as he lays down waiting for you to go lay down with him.

He makes grabby hands towards you, waiting not so patiently.

You swiftly lay your bag on the floor before dropping on top of Reki. He yelps before rolling on top of you instead and pinching your cheeks. Determined to make you annoyed for, not only, ignoring him for his siblings and also for dropping on top of him.

He pinches your cheeks lightly making you form funny faces. You groaned lowly as he kept on and on, not stopping at all. Even if you grabbed his wrists he wouldn't stop.

"If I gve ya- a kss wll you stOp-" You try to talk as best as you can but the aggresice pinching of your cheeks doesnt help at all.

Reki laughs as he finally stops, but he doesn't moge from on top of you. At this point he was basically suffocating you on the bed.

"What was that hm??" He teased

"I said...if i give you a kiss will you stop"

At the mention of a kiss he leans over excitedly, leaning in for a kiss.

But before you could kiss, you place a hand to his mouth.

"Im not giving you a kiss anymore, you already stopped"

At that Reki whines even more. His whining could beat a puppys at this point, he grumbled as you dodged any of his kisses and it made him incredibly angry.

"You're my boyfriend, let me kiss you!" He yells now getting increasingly frustrated.

At this point you let the joke go and decide he can actually kiss you now and as soon as he knows you'll let him, he dives in.

He gives you a few airy kisses before actually giving you a full on kiss.

He runs his hands through your messy hair before pulling away and placing kisses all over your face.

The blush that adorned your face and the laugh that fell from your lips made him feel all soft and mushy on the inside.

He just stood there staring at you, nothing but love in his eyes.

"I love you"

It felt out of the blue but his heart told him to say it, he needed to let it out. And as soon as he did he felt much better.

You look at him before pushing back the hair from his face, before placing a kiss on his forehead and whispering an "I love you" back.

In that moment Reki had started blushing, overwhelmed with the affection you were giving him. It was a very cute sight to see, you wished you saw it more.

He kicks his feet a bit as he tries to compose himself and you only let out a breathy laugh before placing another kiss on his skin, this time on his temple.

Rekis face was now completely red and he stammers as he tries to pull an excuse, saying he has to "go to the kitchen and help with the cake" even though it was already fully prepared and ready to be baked.

You let him off, knowing he was just flustered.

You decide to wait a bit before yiu started to get bored and decide to go walk out of Rekis room and go look for him.

As you don't see him anywhere yiu decide to visit the kitchen and see if he was there.

Walking to the kitchen you hear two voices, one being Rekis mother and the other being Reki himself.

You hear him sigh out before his mother interupts him.

"I see how you look at eachother, you really are in love arent you"

Reki nods slightly, knowing his mother was right.

It wasnt a bad thing either, he just felt so happy about it that he didnt know exactly how to react when thinking about the relationship he had with you.

His breath hitches before he says some words that make your own heart melt.

"I know im young but if I had to choose him or the sun...I'd be one nocturnal son of a gun"

[1197 words; mar/3/21]

[runwithwolvcs]

You Know I'm No Good - t w o

Temptation vs Freedom

Warnings (future chapters): Drugs/Alcohol, Sexual Content, Sexual Tension, Jealousy, Mental Health, (Mentions of SA, but no details)

I don't like memories because the tears come easily, and once again I break my promise to myself for this day. Its a constant battle . A war between remembering and forgetting.

Back in her darkened bedroom, Tallulah still couldn't wrap her head around her current situation. The rest of the night consisted of her being introduced to people who seemed to know more about her then she had wanted, clearly word spreads fast around La Push. Josie had introduced her to some of her friends that had arrived later, after the tribal stories. Clearly only there for the party. They seemed nice, but they were definitely not the type of people she would choose to be friends with herself.

Lenna had made herself scarce throughout the entire, to which her twin stated was typical behaviour. But Tallulah figured it had more to do with her presence than anything else. Tally couldn't help but look for the tan boy she had locked eyes with, something about him was so alluring. It was almost frustrating, Tallulah Forester doesn't get captivated by anyone, not ever. She was the captivating one, at least that's what Xander had always said. “You're like a tornado, with pretty eyes and a heartbeat. Luring in bystanders until you’ve ruined their lives..That's what I enjoy so much about you”, that was the last thing he had said to her before she had left his house party the night she had been caught. Their relationship was a mess, both of them struggling for control, even if it meant hurting each other in the process. It was a rollercoaster of emotions, but it was all she ever had. She craved it in an almost masochist way.

Tallulah's phone had been off all night, not in the mood to deal with the onslaught of messages she was sure to get, now that she had a moment to breath by herself she figured she may as well read them, 1 5 messages from Lina and 3 missed calls, her best friend, was more than likely freaking out, consumed by guilt over the fact that their lies to their parents had been crossed. 7 messages from Kit, who she figured was already trying to plan how to spin this to make herself the victim, as Kit does, and 1 lone message from Xander, the only one she read before she shut off her phone to go to sleep.

That sucks :(

Was all that it said.

-

After a lot of tossing and turning in the bed that was almost too soft, mixed with the pillows that weren’t soft enough, Tallulah drifted off to sleep. She dreamed of the boy who had taken her by storm, his smile seemed brighter than the sun and the way he laughed was like music to her ears. They were on a cliff overlooking the ocean, she could see that he was talking, but couldn't hear what he was saying, she watched as he stood up and walked towards the edge of the cliff, looking as though he was about to jump, she stood up in a panic--

Tallulah startled awake to Kira shaking her shoulder gently, a soft smile graced her face. It was raining, but Tallulah could tell it was early morning.

“Tally, sweetie, you’re dad and I would like to speak with you before he goes to a meeting” she said quietly, “Get dressed and meet us downstairs in ten minutes,” she spoke, the smile never leaving her lips. Tallulah groaned, not one to be a morning person in the slightest, she swung her legs out of bed, toes touching the cool hardwood floors. She could hear low murmurs outside her door as she heaved herself out of bed, still not used to her surroundings she walked to her two duffle bags and sifted through the clothes before settling on an oversized, green long sleeve to cover the stick and poke tattoos that littered her arms, with ripped, loose, blue jeans. One disappointment at a time, she thought to herself as she got dressed. She grabbed her hairbrush from her bag and ran it through her hair, leaving it to lay in its natural waves down her back before quietly heading downstairs to whatever talk she was awaiting.

She was met with Kira and her father sitting at the kitchen table next to each other, and as they beckoned her over to sit, she noticed the thin, blue rectangle laying in the middle of the table. The same blue rectangle she had so carefully hid in her room back in Seattle, or so she thought. She could feel anger begin to bubble in her belly as realization dawned on her, her mother had been through her room.

She sat expectantly, waiting for her dad to chastise her for using drugs, or even alcohol, as a minor and how that could affect her future, but he looked to Kira to begin. The gentle smile that was near permanent on her stepmom was almost comforting in the moment, almost. “Tally”, She starts, “We are aware of your.. pastimes, in Seattle, however, we will not be encouraging that same behaviour here.” she sounds like a damn counselor, Tallulah thought to herself. She’d honestly prefer being yelled at. “We have a few ground rules that we expect you to follow, as we do Lenna and Josette.” Kira continued, “Under no circumstances, will we allow drugs under our roof, including nicotine,” she says referring to the vape sitting in between them, “Or alcohol that does not belong to your father and I. If you are to partake in these activities and are caught you will have consequences.” She looks at Joseph, as if they had rehearsed their own parts, looking towards her dad expectantly, “Secondly,” He speaks up, “As we expect with the twins, any boy, or girl, that you are,, having relations with, we expect to meet, no sneaking them through bedroom windows.” Tallulah cringes internally, it was one time, she wanted to yell. “Curfew will be 11:00 pm on school nights and midnight on Fridays and Saturdays, no exceptions.. Understood?” he asked, looking at his eldest daughter. She wants to argue with them, tell them that policing her life won’t make her change, not the way that they wanted her to at least. That was something her mother learned the hard way. She had taken the door off her bedroom when she had found out she was sneaking out in the night, which only caused Tallulah to start sneaking out the front door instead, right in front of her.

“You done?” she asks, yawning, this wasn’t new to her at all, and she really didn’t care to be frank. The two adults look at each other, Kira nodding her head in Tallulah's direction, Joseph sighed before tossing a key chain on the table next to her vape. A small house key was connected to what looked like a car key. “Choose one.”

Temptation or Freedom?

Tallulah spent the rest of the day running errands with Josie, who had offered to show her around the reservation. They had stopped at Monets, the local cafe, run by the Littleseas, its the go to hangout spot, according to Josie. Who happens to be friends with Colin Littlesea, the eldest son of the owners.

Tallulah picked at the half eaten muffin sitting in front of her as she waited for Josie to return with a refill of both of their coffees. They were so different from each other, Tallulah drinking hers black, while Josies consisted of mainly cream and sugar, just like their personalities, but for some odd reason they clicked.

The car her father and Kira gave her was originally supposed to go to Josie, so that the twins no longer would have to share their current one. Finding out that alone made her reconsider her choice, at least a nicotine addiction only really affected her, but with a lot of reassurance from Josie, and the simple ask that Tallulah help run her errands eased her guilt. She didn't want to upend the twins' life, it wasn’t their fault her parents decided to force her to move to La Push. While Josie seemed to enjoy her presence, Lenna did not, and it's clear now she was avoiding her.

Tallulah gazed around the quaint yet homey cafe, its hand painted walls consisted of the same trees that surrounded the reservation, it was peaceful. She looked towards the door as it chimed, alerting the staff of new customers entering, a group of extremely tall, good looking men walked through the door, causing the calm energy to shift with their booming laughs, everyone seemed to be used to this behaviour, considering she was the only one to look in their direction.

Her eyes followed the group of boys, taking each one in, by the time she reached the last, he was already looking at her. Paul Lahote. The largest of them all, in height and muscle, she thought to herself as her eyes raked his body.

Josie setting her coffee down in front of her broke her concentration on the boy, her attention fully shifted to her half-sister. “What do they feed the men here? They are all so tall” Tallulah asked jokingly, to which Josie laughed, shaking her head. “Not all of them. Just the ones who hang around Sam Uley. Some people say he's giving them steroids but dad swears against it. So does mom.” She watched Josie grimace, and cut her off before she could correct herself, “--I’ve seen boys roided, they look nothing like them.” she spoke before taking a sip of her coffee. Josie nodded, an almost fascinated look on her young face, “So it's true then..” At this, Tallulah raises her eyebrows, “ what's true?”

“Your mom sent you here because you got mixed up with some guys who did drugs or whatever. At least that's what Lenna said she heard dad say”

Of course she did, so much for a fresh start, she thought.

Tallulah rolled her eyes, “Sort of, I guess --”

Now she was being interrupted, a large looming figure was now standing at the edge of their table, greeting Josie, she watched as the younger girl blushed in response, before saying “Hey, Ethan. Uh, this is my older sister, Tally or um, Tallulah,” Josie fumbled over her words as she introduced her. Tallulah looked up at the towering boy with a half smile, nodding her head as a way to say ‘hey’ , Ethan nodded back before asking, “I didn’t realize you guys were sisters. Do you go to school off the rez?”

Tallulah shook her head, “I did but I just moved here from Seattle. I start at the rez school tomorrow.”

He nods before engaging with Josie in conversation about some project they were working on and she can’t help but look over at the boisterous table in the far corner, she can see Paul and another boy glance at her as they talk, she excuses herself from Josie and Ethan, the coffee in her mug no longer appetizing and itching for her little blue rectangle in that moment.

Tallulah makes her way up to the bar-like counter, the waitress coming to take her order almost immediately. She orders a sweet tea, hoping to wash some of the lingering bitterness from her mouth, hoping it would help curve her cravings. She can feel someone come up next to her but doesn't bother to look who it is as she fiddles with a napkin, the waitress comes to take their order and their voice sounds like velvet in her ears despite the hint of gruffness to it.

“You're Joseph Forester's daughter, right?” She hears him ask, she looks in his direction to see he's already looking at her, a small cocky, smirk toying on his lips. He already knows the answer clearly. She wants to roll her eyes and tell him to fuck off, but she can’t bring herself to do so. So, she nods and softly says, “Yeah, Tallulah.” This causes him to actually smile, like he's thankful she didn’t just blow him off. That hot, cocky persona is nearly untraceable now,

“I’m Paul Lahote.”

[zeegeetee]

I understand where you're coming from, however when faced with inconsistency in shows (due to silly or malicious writing decisions) I typically choose to take all the facts of the matter and fill in the plot holes, rather than just interpret Elena and Caroline as bad friends/users and Bonnie as an idiot/push over

1. "Bonnie's dad was brutally murdered and she wasn't at the funeral" why didn't her friends notice? Maybe because Bonnie has a habit of withdrawing from the public and even her friends when a loved one dies, e.g. Grams and later Enzo, and they were giving her space. and Jeremy could have been Bonnie's go between for the townsfolk as well

2. "Bonnie claimed she went traveling with her mom..." She and Jeremy could have used some older pictures of hers they happened to not see before and pretend they're new and send them with the postcards.

Abby abandoned Bonnie twice and Bonnie forgave her twice (in my opinion Bonnie deserved better but this is what actually happened). They did check on her and were in contact via text, if Abby left her somewhere she would have told them as far as they knew and again they don't have to like or trust Abby to respect Bonnie's decisions

3. "They go the whole summer without hearing Bonnie's voice and don't think anything of it..." In the show they text as much as they talk on the phone if not more. Again she and Jeremy could come up with plenty of excuses to text instead of talk and if you are in constant contact with your friend there is no cause for alarm.

When you need magic solutions it's time to interrupt your friend's extended vacation, until then they were giving her space.

They didn't get accustomed to their new roommate, they still wanted Bonnie but they had to deal with her.

Bonnie and Jeremy were indeed gaslighting their friends, it's just a fact and it doesn't make them bad people in the context of the show. Bonnie was grieving/in denial and just having an all around bad time (having recently died and all) and was trying to make some sort of the best of it. Jeremy is the one who should have told everyone the truth sooner rather than go along with her plan in the first place but again he was trying to support her and he's a little stupid

It does Bonnie's character a disservice to rob her of her agency and make her the victim of every situation

They are living their best lives cause as far as they knew all of their problems had paused for the summer and they were under the impression she too was living her best life traveling

Typically when people die in tv shows the focus is on their loved ones who have to deal with the loss

She didn't want Jeremy to tell everyone she was dead because she didn't want to be dead, she didn't want her friends to grieve and then move on and she wanted to pretend she was alive. Are you implying she thought they were going to get mad at her for dying? and then what? What could they do to her?

Caroline and Elena have been friends with Bonnie for years since before she even knew she had powers. It looks like they fell for Bonnie and Jeremy's deception

I don't understand why people act like Elena and Caroline were terrible friends to Bonnie for not knowing she was dead for a summer when she was actively (with the help of Jeremy) gaslighting them the whole time

[ironmariposa]

Tattoo Confessions

Rated: MATURE

Also found on Ao3

He’s nearly asleep when he feels fingertips brush lightly over his shoulder blade. It happens again and he blinks his eyes open. Heather is there, her head propped up on a pillow, her fingers brushing lightly over his bare skin. They’re both still naked from their earlier activities but neither are shy about it. It’s still new enough between them to be exciting but not so new that Heather isn’t so shy about being nude in front of him. At least not anymore.

And well, he’s never had a problem with being nude. In front of anyone.

“Eighteen. What are they for?” He realizes she’s talking about his tattoo, which is in the spot she had been touching.

Ray takes a deep breath, closing his eyes. He doesn’t talk about the tattoo much. Luke and Sarah know. Tyler probably does. But it’s not something he really cares to share with just anyone.

But Heather’s not just anyone. So far from just anyone. She’s everything he never knew he could dream of. She’s his past, his future, his right now.

Her fingers smooth across his brow and he opens his eyes again, “I’m sorry.” She whispers, “I don’t need to know if you aren’t ready.”

“It’s not that.” He says as he takes her hand in his and turns to his back, pulling her to him until her head is on his chest and his arm is around her. He lightly starts to trace over her hip and she shivers in his embrace. He knows she’s not cold. Her body is so sensitive to his touch and he can’t say that it doesn't thrill him. He takes great joy in it.

“Each mark represents how many years my dad has been in jail.”

“Oh.” She whispers and tilts her head to look up at him. He meets her eyes with a soft smile of his own.

“Each year marks another year he’s been gone from my life.”

“When did you start getting them?”

“When I was fourteen.”

“So young.” She whispers and he hums in agreement, “Luke gave them to me. Adds a new one each year on my birthday.”

She’s quiet after that confession. And soon her breathing grows heavy. He’s hard again having her naked body against him, but he lets her sleep. They still have plenty of time before she has to pick up Lily. And anymore these days he’s always hard when he’s with her. It’s a constant ache he has for her.

Summer is over. A new school year has started. A new group of Seniors, their friends off on their own adventures, and Carp has grown quiet. It always does this time of year. It won’t stay that way for very long but for now it’s enough for them to enjoy it. To soak in the quiet. With Sarah and Lily back in school, and Luke finally back at work, it gives them plenty of alone time. This, them, is still so new and they can't seem to get their fill of each other.

Ray doesn’t think he ever will with her.

So they spend a lot of time in bed. He’s certain she’ll grow tired of him. He just hopes it’s not anytime soon.

Heather wakes an hour later and slides on top of him. His absolute favorite position because he can watch her body move over him. They take their time, something they both just recently discovered they enjoy. For the first few weeks they were so desperate for one another, it always happened so fast between them. And though the desperation was still there, they have learned to slow it down, take their time, that dragging out their orgasms was just as satisfying.

More satisfying in his opinion as he pushes his arms back behind him to lift his upper body to take a nipple in his mouth. Heather throws her head back with a groan and starts to move faster. His hands find her hips as he helps her along. He’s incredibly close but doesn’t want to finish until she comes first.

His mouth moves to her ear as one of his hands moves between their bodies, his fingers finding her clit, “Look at you riding me. Fuck Heather. It feels so good. So fucking good. Look Heather. Look at us together.”

She pulls her head back and her eyes open to meet his. He leans in for a kiss before looking down at where their bodies are joined together. With a squeeze of her hip and final cry, she comes. Her hips hitch and lose their rhythm. Ray flips them over quickly and pumps inside of her a couple more times before he’s coming. She’s still breathing hard and it feels absolutely amazing as they both come down from it.

He stays inside of her as he begins to kiss across her collarbone and down to her breasts. He spends some time with one then the other before finally lifting his face to her. She’s smiling brilliantly at him. Her hand lifts up to drag through his hair and he leans in for a final kiss before pulling out of her.

She groans with disappointment and he grins at her. She’s always talking about not stroking his ego more than it already is, but that groan there always does it for him.

As they dress, they discuss evening plans with their sisters. They discuss when they can next be together. Alone. Naked. He teases Heather that with fifty thousand they could get a lot of alone time in a hotel room.

Her laugh as she slaps his arm makes the joke worth it. He’s not serious. Of course he’s not. He knows she’s putting the money to good use. For college and for Lily.

But there’s a small part of him that wouldn’t say no if she agreed.

“What was your mom like?” She asks him

They’re out on the boat. Alone, as the sun attempts to shine through the cloudy sky. It’s October, but it’s south Texas so it’s still as hot as ever. Heather is wearing cut off shorts and a bikini top, he’s only in his swim trunks. They’re lounging in the back of the boat, she has her head in his lap and her eyes are closed as he lazily runs his fingers through her hair. He had been fishing but nothing was biting so he gave that up to give Heather his full attention, making her come with just his fingers.

She turns on her back and opens her eyes to look at him. His blue eyes meet hers and he knows what she wants to hear. A fairytale. A fairytale on how he had once been loved unconditionally, and it hurts, more than he ever imagined, that he’s not able to give that to her.

He wants to. He wants to weave a tale of a beautiful woman that loved and cherished him and Luke. Of how dinner was always on the table and lullabies were always sung to them.

No, instead she gets….

“Not really much I remember about her.” He tucks a stray hair over her ear, his head tilted as he follows his fingers over her bare shoulder, “Truthfully, I think she was a typical Meth Row mom. Not really involved with us, too caught up in her own demons.”

“Oh.”

“I remember her being mad a lot. I remember her being sad too. Anytime Luke or I would get into trouble she would say it was our dad in us. That we would end up locked up just like him.” His eyes flash to hers, “The drugs are what killed her, like most people out here. Luke found her. I think that messed him up for a long time.”

“Of course it did.” She whispers. His eyes find hers again and he gives a half shrug, “It’s fuckin Carp.”

She’s silent for so long after that. Her eyes searching the clouds for what he doesn’t know. He chews on the inside of his cheek to keep himself from interrupting her. He offers a soft smile when she finally focuses back on him.

“Fucking Carp.” She says and he laughs jostling her. She sits up and straddles him. His hands find her hips and pull her closer. He’s already semi hard from their earlier activities but having her center up against him has him straining. He grins as he lifts his hips to rub against her and she moans. Her mouth finds his and they make out like that for a long time. It feels so good and he’s finding he doesn’t need to rush things to enjoy them.

His hand tangles in her hair before untying her bathing suit top and letting it drop, exposing her breasts for him. He pulls back from her mouth and groans as he watches her grind down on his crotch.

“Fuck, you’re hot.” He moans as she throws her head back, pushing her chest out. He doesn’t hesitate as he takes one of her nipples in his mouth, his hand taking care of the other.

He growls as she pushes away from him and stands up but soon realizes it’s to relieve herself of her clothes. He quickly pushes his own shorts down and she straddles him again. She wastes no time positioning him at her entrance and he slides in her easily. He drops his head back hard against the headrest as she starts a fast, hard rhythm. He’s glad she’s already come because he’s not going to last long with her bouncing on him like that and he doesn’t. Grabbing her hips he comes hard and fast, his mouth finding hers again as his orgasm shakes through him over and over again.

“Ray?” She whispers against his mouth. He answers with a hum, his mouth too busy with hers to give a proper response. She doesn’t say anything and so he pulls back after a moment, his eyes finding hers. His fingers dance across her skin and she shivers.

“We won’t end up like them, right? We won’t be another Carp zombie, will we?”

He cups her face and squeezes, maybe a little too hard but she doesn’t react. Her eyes are pleading. She needs his reassurances and it floors him that she will believe anything he says. No ones ever needed him like that before.

“You won’t Heather.” He promises, “I won’t let you.”

Her own hands come up over his, “But what about you?”

He pulls his hands from her as he shrugs, “Don’t worry so much, darlin.”

“Ray.”

But he lifts her from his lap and stands to pull his shorts up. He hands her her own clothes and tilts his head to the water, “Let's swim before we have to head back.”

On his nineteenth birthday Ray hands the tattoo needle to Heather to add another line to his back. She takes it and studies him for a long moment before turning it off, placing it back on the table. “You don’t need him.” She tells him as she brushes her fingers across his old tattoo.

Looking into her eyes, he agrees.

[weabooweedwitch]

People with narcissism don't accept blame for things becaue a) the idea that they're imperfect or have made a mistake causes them intense shame and b) they lack empathy for the people around them and don't genuinely care about how their behavior impacts others. It sounds like generally your mom is more interested in getting herself out of the hot seat than actually addressing any issues you're having which must be super frustrating to deal with :(

I just, I dunno I'm on the fence because like, she really has tried to do a lot for me? Working hard to support me and my sister growing up, fighting to try and get me good doctors and try different medicines, taking me to therapy, all sorts of stuff, and I think, I dunno, if she really had NPD would she have done all that for me?

But then you compare that to "one time when I was a minor I got mad and told my mom that after I told my therapist a lot about her that they agreed she was abusive and now she doesn't want me seeing that therapist anymore because 'they don't have a right to speak to me about her like that'" and it's. Conflicting, you know. I remember there were times growing up where I felt like, at least I was feeling hurt enough to feel like, that her love was conditional, depending on me obeying her and agreeing with her, and that she cared more about me listening to her than what I wanted to do

Like you can tell her no and she'll ask a few more times in differently aggressive ways rather than just give up? Just to wear you down? I literally had a therapist tell me "yeah, she straight up badgers you until you feel too bad to say no". Like she would literally text me saying to get her a glass of water saying she had a headache. She has fibromyalgia so on and off or depending on the meds these headaches could be CONSTANT. And I get she couldn't help it but these texts for extremely small, minor favors were nonstop. I grew up like one of those kids whose parents call them in from the other room to fetch them the remote that's just slightly out of reach.

And I'd say "mom these tasks are genuinely so small that it makes me upset you want me to completely drop what I'm doing and do them for you" nd she would just quip back something like "its such an easy thing to do, why won't you do it for me" and she literally still does this to this day and to be honest sometimes she'll start saying "hey can you do me a fav--" and I interrupt her mid sentence because I've told her, I've literally honest to God told her, to never ask me for any favors besides like chores because she has asked me for so much over the years that her asking me literally anything can make me absolutely furious

And of course she still does it. And of course it's always stupid bullshit she can do herself but just doesn't want to. Its like I'm being fucking obedience-tested? And I don't think she realizes I'm legitimately, legitimately, as much as it hurts to say, losing the ability to love her? I just look at her sometimes and I just feel. Such anger and disappointment. Such disappointment. Did I, uh, ever tell you guys I basically don't speak to my sister anymore, and it's partially because I just can't deal with both her and my mom right now.

Like, back on track I guess but, I dunno i don't think she completely lacks empathy but there's something wrong here. Years ago when me, my mom, my sister, and my grandmother were all under the same roof we would kind of all tell her "yeah mom you DO do this thing/hurt our feelings/made a mistake" and she would just say we were ganging up on her? Literally saying "you're ganging up on me"

Anyways I'm just. Burnt out. I always have to yield to her and if I don't then it's harder on me. But I'm losing so much respect for myself and my own autonomy when I'm just constantly having to just bowl over because it's easier than setting boundaries. It's bad enough to be mentally ill and think so poorly of yourself or think your opinions don't matter, but the pain of a parent enforcing that is just... it's a lot. She tells me she loves me but I can only speculate how much, you know 😔

[masterwords]

The Louder the Better (Part Two)

Notes: I did it, guys! I apologize for being a trash human who waited months to finish this story. I'd had a plan for it and then used that little plot line to fill in gaps in another story, thus rendering this one empty...but that doesn't make up for it. Here it is! And it's so long and sad and I hope anyone who waited on this is happy with how it went. Or satisfied, anyway, because it's not exactly a happy ending.

Warnings: Alcohol, vomit, hangover, blood, stitches, abuse, death - canon typical violence, swearing - I tagged a lot too, but if you need me to add some please just ask and I will be glad to.

Words: ~4800

Previously On: PART ONE

Time zones. Haley never really got used to them, there was never any rhyme nor reason to where the BAU flew off to or their sleeping patterns. Sometimes she would call and it would be 2pm and Aaron would be sleeping, other times it would be 3am his time and he'd be wide awake with a cup of coffee. She'd decided long ago just to take her chances - if she wanted to call her husband, she would, and if they could talk, great. This time it was 4am and he'd been dead asleep, drooling on his pillow. Still in his clothes, only his shoes had been discarded at the door, kicked off as he stumbled toward the bed.

“Aaron?” she asked and he groaned into his pillow, the last moans of a dying man. His head throbbed so fiercely he was certain even his hair hurt. He licked his lips with his dry tongue, was nearly sick at the taste of stale booze that lingered there. “Aaron, are you there?”

“'M here...” he whispered, fumbling until he could press the speaker button and get the phone away from his ear. Her voice was pure pain pumped right in. A searing hot blade. It wasn't much better on the speaker once she got going, ranting about his mother making her go to some apothecary for salves and potions and then to a priest, she'd created an itinerary. He struggled to focus through the blinding pain, pressed his face hard into the pillow and choked down a swell of nausea as it rolled through him.

“Haley,” he whispered, pulling the phone to his lips. “Haley. Just don't go. I told you this was going to happen.” Her silence spoke volumes, he regretted it instantly. I told you so was always certain to spark an argument, he knew better but his brain was pickled in bourbon and beer and country music. There was a sharp intake of breath on the other end of the line and he pushed the phone away from him just in time for her to lay out her feelings – all of them, the grief, the anger, the way his mom was pushing her in too many directions, the way he wasn't there. He didn't disagree with any of it, he felt the grief, he felt the anger too but his head. God, his head. He didn't think he'd had that much to drink, Derek had seemed fine when they left but there were entire blocks of the night he couldn't remember and some of it came with a nervous pit in his stomach. A dance floor and hands on him and he'd already had so much to drink by then he had no idea what it meant, he couldn't focus on Haley's yelling. Haley let it all out and he didn't interrupt her, not when she called him selfish, not even when she told him she didn't want him to come home until his mom had left because she just couldn't handle it if they got into an argument and she knew they would. It wasn't until she brought up his mother's constant insistence that their family was cursed that he grabbed the phone and pressed it aggressively to his ear. He knew she was hurting, he didn't want to fight with her but his mom and that damn curse was more than he could stand.

“Did my mom tell you why she lost all those babies? Why I was so small? It wasn't a curse, Haley,” he grunted, swallowing down a surge of nausea so profound it nearly brought him to his knees as he stalked toward the bathroom. “It was because she drank the whole time. She and my dad boozed every day, did all the fashionable drugs...it's a fucking miracle I survived. That isn't a curse, Haley, that's being shitty parents.” She shouted at him, words that flew out of her mouth so fast he couldn't grab onto any of them long enough to process their meaning, it was just a shrill sound gnawing at his brain, sending shock waves through his system.

She hung up on him, and he was transported back in time – he remembered when they were teenagers and she'd yell at him and hang up, the way that big phone sounded as it slammed against the base and rattled the table, the little final ringing sound that followed. The way you felt it in your bones from the other end of the line. It lacked something now to be hung up on by a cell phone, just the press of a button, but he didn't have much time to contemplate it. His body had other plans and he found himself getting violently ill for what felt like an eternity.

He was barely able to drag himself to the police station by 7am. Normally he would be early, the first one to arrive the last to leave, but this time he was lucky he'd made it at all. Eating handfuls of ibuprofen and tums, sick at every smell, his mouth was parched and his eyes were so dry he'd had to wear his glasses, the contacts burned. His stomach was torn up, cramping, and Derek sauntered over to him and handed him a bottle of Gatorade with a wink, sinking into a chair beside him. He looked chipper, like he hadn't had a drop to drink the night prior and Aaron began to wonder if he'd bled the bar dry without realizing it.

He stared at Derek, cracking open the top of his Gatorade, brows knitting together as he tried desperately to fit the pieces of the night prior together in his mind. He remembered going to the bar for a second round of drinks, and he remembered Derek at the jukebox, then they were talking again...and he remembered going to the bar for a third round. That was when things got hazy.

“Did we dance?” Aaron whispered, his eyes wide. Derek grinned.

“Sort of,” he replied coolly. “You said God I love this song, and I asked if you wanted to hit the dance floor...”

It came back in flashes. Dwight Yoakam. Flashing lights, smoke.

Well I'm back again for another night of trying to break free from this sadness that I can't lay to rest....

They were on the dance floor and there were people all around them. Pressing in on them, swaying, tapping their toes, waving their arms. Aaron felt the panic in his belly first, a stranger's breath on the back of his neck like being tickled by a bat's wing in the black of night and he stiffened, couldn't find his breath. There were hands on his shoulders, a woman's hands, long red nails dragging along the nape of his neck and he thought he might pass out, the world spun around him.

This old honky-tonk sure does feel like home and the music with the laughter seem to soothe my loneliness...

Derek circled his waist in those tree trunk arms and pulled him close, pressing his face in next to Aaron's ear. “I got you,” he whispered, and he made eye contact with the woman whose hands flew back to her side quickly. He smiled at her, staking his claim and swayed against Aaron, held him upright while the world spun around him and began pulling him slowly toward the edge of the floor away from the crush of people dancing and into their own space where he could breathe. “I think you've had enough.” Aaron nodded, melting into Derek's embrace so completely, so easily.

Turn it on, turn it up, turn me loose...from her memory that's driving me lonely, crazy and blue...it helps me forget her, so the louder the better...hey mister, turn it on, turn it up, turn me loose...

So it was nothing. Derek filled in the blank spots, their ride back, Aaron throwing up on the sidewalk outside the hotel. He was glad he didn't remember that part. When Jason walked in, he looked both of them up and down and shook his head in disbelief that this was his team now. He'd had some of the biggest stars in their field, seasoned professionals, and in the blink of an eye he was left with two infants.

“Leave any bourbon for the rest of us, Hotch?” Jason asked, and Aaron made a sour face at him while he sipped his Gatorade. He worked twice as hard to focus, to stay away from the bathroom, to stay upright. He was a professional. A damn professional, he reminded himself as he choked down another swell of nausea and guzzled from the tiny bottle of Pepto Bismol he'd acquired from the corner store on his way in and stored in his jacket pocket. He licked the sticky pink residue from his lips and scowled.

“Where is this sonofabitch?” he grumbled, looking at the map on the wall, pressing his glasses higher on the bridge of his nose. They needed to be adjusted, were slipping more than usual. He listened to Derek and Jason go back and forth for what felt like forever before the lead Detective rolled in with his cup of coffee and a flippant comment about Sherlock Holmes. Aaron glared up at him from the table ready to go round and round with the Detective. He was feeling dangerously scrappy, a man who had very little to lose.

“If you don't have anything helpful to add,” he began and Jason waved his hand, silently begging Aaron to back off. He could see the spark in Aaron's eyes, ready to ignite. The police had been on their cases since they'd arrived, none of them happy to have the FBI's involvement and worse, they didn't believe in a single thing they were doing. One had asked Derek to read his palm, another asked Aaron if they needed a Ouija board for their conference room. The second day they were there someone had filled the room with candles and put a plastic Halloween crystal ball in the center of their table. to say Aaron was at his limit was an understatement. The police chief had called them in and was kind enough, but he'd only called because the Mayor had begged them to get help before the small town lost its collective minds. He was less than helpful, rarely available to talk and they were left with Detective Ruiz who was a great cop but a real asshole to work with as far as the BAU were concerned. Still, they did their best to keep the peace, to be the butt of their jokes without fighting back, even promised him his squad would get the credit for the arrest, they weren't there for glory, they just wanted to catch a serial killer and go home.

“So if his endgame is suicide by cop like you say,” Ruiz said, pulling up a chair beside Aaron and straddling it. Aaron gagged at the smell of stale coffee on the man's breath. “Why don't we just have the news put it out there? Give him the fucking address to this station and tell him to come on down, he's won the grand prize...I'll put a bullet between his eyes no problem.”

“Just because he wants it doesn't mean he gets it,” Jason replied softly. Like a father gently instructing a child. “We don't give toddlers what they want because they throw a fit. We are not executioners, Detective. If it comes to it, we will do what's necessary but the goal is never loss of life.”

“Not even these monsters?”

“Not even these people.”

The woods were quiet, sun setting spectacularly over the tops of the trees. A beautiful show for anyone watching, not hunting a madman in the woods. The police cars flanked the trees, Aaron to the East and Jason to the West. Derek and Ruiz were supposed to go up the middle, stay together, wait for everyone to be in position before making any moves. They'd found the cabin by what amounted to sheer luck, a tip from a hunter out trying to bag an elk and knew their guy was there by the smoke rising through the trees from a fire currently burning. There was a small slough running through Aaron's side of the woods with tall reeds, enough that he and his men could come up beside the cabin fairly close without being seen while Jason came through the thickest part of the trees. It was Derek and Ruiz that needed to be careful, they would be visible from almost a mile away if they weren't watching their steps.

“Ey!” Ruiz called, stepping out of his car. Aaron's eyes went wide and he jogged to where the Detective stood. “Where's my boy?”

“He's at the mark,” Aaron spat through gritted teeth. “You were supposed to be there twenty minutes ago.”

“Got held up,” Ruiz muttered, shrugging. “I'll head in now.”

“No, you'll stay here. You missed the window, you'll blow it all now if you go.” Fuck, he thought. Derek's first case on the road and he was all by himself – Aaron ran through every possible awful scenario, knowing there wasn't any way Derek could talk his way out of being killed if caught. They had time but not much.

It would figure that he would get into trouble. They began following the K9s through thick underbrush, sharp twigs jutting out at all angles from rotting tree stumps. Thick vines grabbed at their ankles, tiny animals skittering out from the security of their hiding spots. He was blinking against the sharp sunlight glinting off of his glasses when his toe caught on a stump and sent him sprawling forward, arms splayed out before him to catch his fall. He felt his arm rip wide open on a branch that looked more like a dagger than a tree, saw his shirt from his elbow to his wrist blossom crimson before his eyes. The silk was torn but he glanced away from it, squeezing his eyes shut for just a second to gather his wits.

“You okay?” one of the cops called and Aaron grunted that he was fine, pressed his hand to the wound he didn't want to look at yet and stood up. He blinked against the pain for a minute, steadying himself and pressed on through the thick woods. Blood trickled in tiny ruby rivers through the fine lines on his palm, collected pooling beneath his wedding ring.

Peering through the reeds, knee deep in tepid swampy water, he watched as Derek stood before their unsub with his hands raised submissively. Something slithered across the surface, ducked down beneath the water and circled his knees twice before moving on. He held his breath. The man was huge, fidgety, poking at his fire with a gun raised and aimed directly at Derek's face. He couldn't make out the words but he knew Derek was trying to negotiate his way out, a surrender, anything. They both knew he'd get none of it but he needed to buy some time and Aaron thought it was impressive that Derek had managed to survive this long - he knew what he was doing. Aaron blinked against the dull ache in his head, the bright orange sun glinting between the trees slicing right into his tired eyes. His arm throbbed with his heartbeat, making him acutely aware of the panic rising in him. When the unsub approached Derek, eyes darting over to where Jason stood with a team of police behind him, Aaron hesitated, didn't want to blow his cover. The moment that those arms encircled Derek's shoulders, that cold steel pressed against his temple, Aaron stood and announced himself, gun aimed directly at the unsub's forehead.

He felt Derek's eyes on him. Watched as his eyes flicked from Aaron's face to his bloody arm and back and he gulped, focusing on only the unsub. He couldn't worry about what Derek thought now.

“FBI!” he shouted, as if Jason hadn't already announced it. He couldn't hear, though, the splashing of the rest of the squad through the water was too much for his already sensitive ears. He narrowed his eyes, felt the spark when his eyes met the unsub's and locked on. There was a twitch of his lip and Aaron ran his finger delicately along the trigger, ready to fire. Jason tried talking, but the unsub had stopped listening, he was staring hard at Aaron, daring him. He felt the panic bursting through him, beating against his ribs, crashing through his skull. He was bleeding all over, hungover, his unfounded trust in a police department that hated them had put Derek in danger and he was on the verge of a complete breakdown. These were his moments though, the moments he remembered somehow what he was made of – yes, he was weak and he was scared, he was in pain and he was heartbroken but he was also a damn good shot.

And when he saw the faintest twitch in the unsub's trigger finger, he fired.

Didn't hesitate, and the unsub fell to the ground at Derek's feet. Over in a flash. The police rushed toward the unsub, crashed through the door to his cabin and Jason flew to Derek, hands on his shoulders first, checking him out, talking to him so closely. Aaron stepped backward, stumbled through the water and fell back on the muddy bank utterly spent. His arm throbbed as he held it now tight against his chest, blood soaking through his sleeve thick and bright, dripping down his swollen hand. With his head hanging between his legs, he listened to the chaos erupting in the scene around him and was glad for a few minutes of peace.

“You saved my life,” Derek said, sitting down beside Aaron on the muddy bank some time later. Maybe only seconds, maybe hours, he was lost to time. Aaron said nothing, couldn't seem to find words. His mouth was dry, lips caked with blood from wiping them with his hand carelessly. “Thank you.” Derek waited a moment longer, watched the way Aaron's muscles tensed up with every shallow, ragged breath and realized the other man was being dragged under the coursing flood of a panic attack. He circled Aaron's shoulders with his arms and pulled him in close – he'd almost died, he was feeling pretty bold and he could feel the hysteria surging so thick through the other man that he just didn't care about protocol or professionalism. He held Aaron tight against him, knew his shirt was ruined with blood now too and said nothing else.

“C'mon Hotch, there's an ambulance waiting,”

“Don't need it,” Aaron whispered, burrowed in Derek's arms. He hadn't felt so small and so vulnerable since he was a child, hadn't ever had anyone hold him against it the way Derek was right then. Not just comfort but protection. Nothing could hurt him there. It was almost like a drug, he couldn't fathom moving, losing this moment. “'M fine.”

“Like hell you are. That wasn't a request.”

He hated hospitals, the way they didn't smell like anything even though he expected to smell bleach. The way the intercoms were so loud and no one ever seemed to listen to them – they were always paging the same doctors over and over. Did those doctors even exist? The lights were too bright, the nurses asked too many questions.

“How's your arm?” a sweet older nurse asked, cradling his hand in hers gently and turning it over to look at the swelling in his fingers. He turned his lazy, tired eyes at her and licked his lips.

“Hurts,” he whispered. He wanted to say he was fine but that was just so many words and he was so tired. The cut was long and deep, he was impressed that it had needed more than one layer of stitches and they were telling him he'd need to wear a sling to make sure he didn't move it too much the first few days. He had no intention of doing that but he was going to humor them now, he'd let them put it on him and send him back to the hotel with his police escort like a good boy. He tried calling Haley but she was screening her calls, unwilling to talk to him until she could do it face to face. He knew he shouldn't have said what he had, that she didn't need to know all of the awful, filthy secrets his family hid beneath the rotting floorboards. She knew enough, sure. But there would always be secrets, things too dark and painful for him to ever say aloud.

On the jet back, Jason was lost in a book about birds like usual. He probably knew everything there was to know, and Aaron had asked him plenty of times why he'd never pursued Ornithology as a career – he'd been met with an incredulous stare and all Jason replied with was simply that he didn't mix business and pleasure. Aaron sat quietly by himself, stewing on his return trip, finding a hotel to stay at for the night with an ice pack on his throbbing arm. His hand was too swollen to move his fingers, an infection they assured him would be easily cured with strong antibiotics. Across from him, Derek bobbed his head up and down, swayed side to side to something in his headphones.

He thought it sounded an awful lot like Dwight Yoakam.

“Hey,” Derek said, sliding the headphones down to his neck. “You wanna talk? Looks like you've got a lot on your mind...does Gideon know about...?” The baby, he meant, but he couldn't say the words. He was glad Aaron knew, didn't make him.

“No, I didn't tell him.”

Derek stood and slipped himself into the seat beside Aaron so they could talk without disturbing Jason whose eyes were staring to remain closed longer than open as he read. “Can I be real with you for a minute?”

Aaron nodded reluctantly.

“Do you even want kids?”

The question sucked all the air out of Aaron's lungs. He pressed his hand hard against the ice pack, the pressure against his throbbing wound felt good. “You really want me to answer that?” Derek nodded. “I don't. I've never wanted kids because...” he paused, pulling in a long, trembling breath. He'd never opened up to anyone the way he felt like he could with this man he barely knew. Maybe that was the appeal, he couldn't yet judge the reaction. The way he'd held him on that mucky bank, though, it made him feel seen. Understood. Safe. “My parents made a lot of mistakes. There were a lot of things that they did to me that shouldn't happen to anyone, let alone a child. I just don't know if bringing a child into the world, with me as a father is a good decision.”

“You can do better than they did.”

“Sure, I can...of course. That's possible. It's also possible that I'm as bad or worse. That's a chance I'm not happy taking, but Haley, it's all she's ever wanted. She's dreamed of being a mom her entire life. Am I cruel to have married her, knowing she wanted children and I didn't? I always knew I'd try to give her children whether I wanted them or not. And I know I'll love him or her or them...but I'm under no illusion that I'm cut out for this. So each time we miscarry, a part of me dies too – I'm devastated, but there is just the tiniest sigh of relief, because that child won't have me as a father.”

The answer didn't entirely surprise Derek but it made him pause to consider the weight of it. “You wanna stay at my place tonight?” he asked, veering off just slightly. “I heard you telling Gideon you were gonna get a ride to a hotel...I've got a guest room.”

Derek's house didn't look anything like Aaron thought it would. It was beautiful, detailed and old. He told Aaron on the drive back how he'd restored it, gutted it down to its bones and rebuilt with the closest to original materials he could. He'd intended to sell it but he just couldn't part with it. He had another home he was restoring now, it took up a lot of his spare time. At the door they paused, listened to the moths beating themselves against the porch light.

“I got a dog,” Derek said with a proud grin. He jangled his keys in his hand and listened to the thundering of his big dog's feet through the house. “His name's Clooney. He's great, huge though. He'll probably try to sleep with you, the guest room is kinda his. Most of my guests sleep in my bed, if you catch my drift.” Aaron smiled and wanted to make a wise crack about Derek's guests but he was too tired and he'd already felt like they were crossing lines faster than they should. It could be dangerous.

They settled on the couch with bottles of water and a bowl of popcorn that went untouched until they'd both passed out and Clooney got into it. The movie played on as they slept peacefully, each with his head on the opposite end of the couch from the other, legs side by side in an oddly comfortable way that only someone who loved tetris might appreciate the intricacy of. They were so close but barely touched. Waking up, however, their legs were tangled together, sharing a blanket and Clooney had curled up beneath them on the floor. Aaron woke first, cold enough that he wanted to pull the blanket up to his chin but when he saw the fuzzy outline of Derek covered in the blanket he would be stealing, he thought better of it. Instead he slid further down, trying to tuck his feet beneath the cushions enough that he was covered better and went back to sleep listening to the dog snoring beside him.

“You know,” Derek said softly, pulling Hotch in for a hug whether he liked it or not on his way out the door. “You're gonna be a great dad. I know it because you care...you're worried about it. I don't know what your parents did to you, but I can already tell you'd do better. You shouldn't sweat it, man.”

He pulled his jacket sleeve nervously down over his arm, hoping Haley might not notice it for long enough that they could talk about other things. She always worried. He left Derek's house sure that the other man was too good, too kind, and would probably be his boss in a few years if he wanted to be. Their little team of three was solid as far as he was concerned – it might have been the only firm ground he had in his entire life to stand on, but he was glad for it.

In the cab, he could only think about his mother and her damn curse. The way she'd created some mystical explanation because she couldn't bear the thought that it was all her fault. She was broken, long before she'd ever conceived him. His parents had loved each other, but it wasn't like he and Haley. They were both just parasites, draining the life blood from one another until they were both just empty husks and turned their attentions to him to feed their lust. He'd watched their brawls and he'd watched them make up, he'd covered his ears when they made love loudly and hid when they came for him in a rage. There had never been room for Aaron there, in their lives, and so arose the curse. It wasn't a mystical thing. It was him. It was the space he took up in a world that was never made for him.

“Let's keep trying,” Haley whispered against his lips, holding his face in her hands so delicately, her sad smile so enchanting. He let her kiss him and she didn't notice that he didn't return it. “One more time.” He considered his talk with Derek, the way he bled himself dry to the other man, the words he said that he could never take back. He thought about the truth, that he didn't want to keep trying, he was too afraid to be a father, to become his father. That Haley could somehow become like his mother. The words beat at his chest, tried to escape, but she had that dazzling smile and those soft eyes, her heart beat for this child she craved so desperately. Part her, part him, all perfection in her mind.

And he still couldn't bear to tell her no. “One more time,” he agreed softly, closing his eyes.

[s-and-n-writes]

another long day

crimson and bluebell: part two

summary:

Marinette Rossi is tired of everything: from Lila’s constant berating and Madame Rossi’s preferential care of her ‘angel-like’ daughter, to how everyone at school (even Alya) seems to believe her evil stepsister over her.

It’s like she’s Cinderella, except without the fairy godmother and the happy ending. She doesn’t even have a prince.

Or so she thinks.

Between the appearance of a new boy who seems to have captured her heart, and a gala run by her fashion idol Gabriel Agreste, Marinette hopes for an escape the constant ignorance, workload, and bullying she endures, and get a blissful life of her own.

With the help of one tiny god and a meow-velous partner, she might finally get a chance, but not everything is that simple.

They say ladybugs are lucky, so will being the elusive Ladybug bring Marinette the luck she oh-so-desperately needs?

quick links:

< previous chapter | first chapter | next chapter >

| miraculous masterlist | series masterlist |

a/n: so hi again, it’s me, n! im so so so sorry that i didn’t post for a long time, school caught up with me and everything’s getting v stressful these days. regardless, my new year’s resolution is to post more of these, and i’ll actively make an effort to do that hehe, in the meantime, enjoy!

also i’m appalled at the fact that this was 15 pages long and took more than a month to write how are you doing

Marinette had thought that the whole coffee spill, glass breaking fiasco would be relatively easy to clean.

She was wrong.

It takes her all of 10 minutes to clean up the glass, and another 20 minutes to try and clean up the coffee.

Key word: try.

Marinette ends up at school 30 minutes late, the coffee-stained carpet rolled off to the side at home, effectively ruined. She hasn’t even thought about the cracked glass table yet, which she hid by placing a tissue over top of it after Lila left.

Needless to say, all of this puts a little bit of a damper on her day.

As Marinette walks up the staircase of Francois Dupont, the school she goes to, she spots Alya Cesaire inside. Alya is Marinette’s closest friend, and despite having moved to Paris only a year ago, it feels like Marinette has known her for their entire lives.

“Girl, girl, girl…” Alya sighs as Marinette walks through the doors. It’s a free period, and students litter the area. Marinette spots Lila walking with one of her friends on the other side of the school, and luckily, Lila doesn’t see her.

There’s one good thing about school that Marinette adores: she doesn’t have to see Lila. Lila’s always had Madame Mendeleev for homeroom, and Marinette’s had Madame Bustier. Because of this, their schedules never interact, which allows Marinette to avoid Lila for the duration of the school day.

“I’m so sorry!” Marinette pleads, running up to Alya and shrugging her backpack off her shoulder. “There was a coffee spill, and glass broke, and-OH GOD I MISSED THE MATH TEST!!!”

“Marinette, chill,” Alya laughs. “The math test got rescheduled, but Ms.Bustier is pretty mad about you being late,”

Marinette sighs. “That’s a relief,”

“But you still missed a lot of news~,” Alya says, singing the last word.

Alya aspires to be a journalist, so on the occasions that Marinette wasn’t late, Alya would give her anything and everything interesting she’d dug up that week.

"I know, I know," Marinette sighs, fingers loosely picking at her shirt again. The seams stay intact, but Marinette's mind doesn't. The coffee spill and the glass breaking is constantly on her mind; she's not sure what to do. 

"Nice shirt, girl," Alya smiles, breaking Marinette away from her thoughts. Alya's good at that, and she notices when Marinette lets her mind wander, something that happens a little too often for her tastes. "Did you make it?" 

Marinette bursts into a grin. "Yes! I used that gorgeous thread that Sabine bought last week for my birthday, you know, the one I kept talking about, and it was absolutely amazing! I had to make this! What do you think? Do you like it?" 

The shirt is simple; a white base with flowers of varying sizes lining the edge. Marinette pairs it with her old, pink jeans (the fabric for the flowers on her shirt came from some leftover ones she had when making the jeans) and a dark-gray blazer that Lila used to own. 

"It's beautiful," Alya smiles, "But hey, I’m more excited for you-know-who’s reaction," 

Marinette rolls her eyes, hiding her face as an involuntary blush rises to her face. "Alya! You know I don't like him like that!," 

Alya grins. "Just teasing," 

“Well, anyways, tell me what I missed during lunch, I’m off to the classroom, before Ms. Bustier comes looking for me,” Marinette smiles, turning and running up the stairs. 

“Good luck, girl!” Alya says, waving goodbye and pulling out her phone. 

“Good luck, girl!” Alya says, waving goodbye and pulling out her phone.

The day passes quickly, and lunch comes sooner than Marinette expects.

She meets Alya outside of Francois Dupont, and they both head to Ville de Soirée, a cafe which isn’t nearly as expensive as the others in the area. They both order their usuals, and sit in one of the booths as they wait for their drinks.

Marinette sighs and leans back. “Ok, ok, tell me,”

Alya, who is most probably on the verge of exploding from her excitement, gears up. “Ok, so you know Nino, right?”

“You mean the boy you’ve been obsessing over since we met him?” Marinette teases. “Oh hey, I might have an inkling,”

Alya blushes, her cheeks tinting rouge. “Shut up,”

Marinette giggles. “Ok, go on,”

“Anyway, Nino texted me yesterday that his parents finally agreed, and he’ll be starting school starting Monday next week!”

“Ah! That’s so exciting! I’m so happy for you!” Marinette laughs. “Now you can actually make a move!”

“Don’t get ahead of yourself, I’ll let you play matchmaker when the time comes,” Alya laughs, “there’s also something else, and this one I know you’ll be even happier about,”

The barista interrupts Alya, placing two steaming drinks in front of them. They both reach for their drinks, with Marinette holding the cup in her hand and Alya taking a sip. She grins.

“Nino’s friend, you know, Adrien Agreste, is also coming too,”

She pulls back, looking smug as she tries to read Marinette’s face.

The girl in question sighs, shaking her head. “Who even is Adrien, and why does everyone keep mentioning him to me?”

Alya facepalms, groaning.

“Girl, sometimes I swear you live under a rock,” Alya sighs, shaking her head. “How do you not know who Adrien Agreste is? His ads are literally everywhere!”

Marinette pouts. “Well maybe I just haven’t seen him,”

Alya rolls her eyes and shakes her head. “Ohh no, there’s no way you’ve missed him ,”

She pulls up her phone and momentarily scrolls as Marinette waits.

“Here,” she says, “That’s him,”

The photo on Alya’s screen is from last February, Marinette recognizes. She remembers how Lila bought a copy of the magazine it came in, although she wasn’t allowed to see it.

But the boy is familiar. His face is similar to someone’s, but Marinette can’t pinpoint who it—

Oh.

Oh.

He’s Gabriel Agreste’s son.

Marinette leans back.

“That’s Monsieur Agreste’s son! I should’ve known, how could I have missed it when Madame Rossi told us about him?”

Alya squints her eyes. “Wait what?”

“There’s a fashion show that Adrien’s dad is hosting, and the embassy’s holding a huge event to greet all the fashion officials that are coming. Madame Rossi got us all passes to go,” Marinette says.

“That’s the one my mom’s cooking for! It’s next weekend right? She would not stop talking about it all weekend. I can try and score a pass, to you know, keep you company?”

Marinette gasps suddenly, burying her face in her hands, “Ah! I forgot! I won’t be able to go, since Li— I mean I, spilled coffee all over our new carpet,”

Alya raises an eyebrow.

“Fine, fine, I cracked some glass too,” Marinette sighs, face growing redder. “Madame Rossi’s gonna ground me for sure!”

Alya shakes her head. “Somehow I can believe it. You are the clumsiest person I know,”

She nods thoughtfully, fingers closing around the fox necklace on her neck. “Well I can’t deal with the whole glass situation, but maybe I can help with the coffee stuff? Happens to my mom all the time,”

Marinette perks up. “Really? Would you? Oh thank you Alya!”

Alya laughs. “No problem girl, I’ll come by after your shift at the bakery,”

Marinette pauses. After work would be...when Lila comes home.

Alya has always been a fan of Lila, but despite knowing Marinette, she’s only admired Marinette’s less-than-wonderful sister from afar. This means that so far, Marinette has managed to keep Alya and Lila separate.

Does she really want to risk that?

Weighing in the situation, she sighs. Would she rather have a shot at attending a potentially life-changing event, or safely escape Alya meeting Lila?

Knowing the both of them, Marinette remembers, they’d be a deadly combo.

But Marinette really wants to go to the event so, maybe this time, she might just give in.

“Great!” Marinette says, happiness laced with fear. “That’s...great!

Alya nods, smiling, watching as Marinette giggles.

“Now about setting you up with Nino…”

Alya turns away, blushing, “Marinette!”

Today

Lie-la 😒: sup loser

Lie-la 😒: im going to the mall with my friends after school

Lie-la 😒: if my mom comes in early

Lie-la 😒: you know what to say

Lie-la 😒: type, maribrat. use those lousy fingers.

You: yea, sure lila.

Lie-la 😒: good.

Marinette sighs and pockets her phone. For today, she is safe.

And that’s all she has ever wanted.

Marinette’s day ends with her feeling happier than when it began. Alya’s coming over to wash out the coffee stain, Lila won’t be there when she gets home, and she’s heading to her shift at the bakery!

It’s normal for work to not be exciting to most people, but for Marinette, it always is. Heading to the Dupain-Cheng bakery is always the highlight of her day, and working there is even better. The owners, Sabine and Tom, are like the parents she never had, what with them spoiling her with all the food they give and teaching her how to bake. Customers even tell Marinette all the time that she looks strikingly similar to Sabine, but she doesn’t see it.

In truth, she’s only ever even thought about becoming a designer because of the Dupain-Chengs, and if it weren’t for their motivation, she’s sure that she would be in a much different place right now.

But that’s not what Marinette worries about right now. Despite school ending early and the bakery being right across the street from where she is, she still manages to be late.

She exchanges a quick goodbye with Alya, who chuckles at her frazzled state, and dashes off towards work.

“I’m here!” she shouts, running into the bakery, the familiar jingle of the store’s door’s bell ringing in her ears. “Sorry!

Sabine laughs as she hands a box of pastries to a customer, waving as they leave. “Just on time. Hello Marinette,”  

Marinette winces as Sabine holds out her apron. “Sorry again, Sabine!”

Tom laughs from the kitchen behind the store, the sound booming through the bakery. “Marinette!”

“Tom!” Marinette says back, her lips curving into a smile.

Sabine eyes Marinette as she ties the apron behind her, quickly joining the older woman behind the counter.

“So?” she asks. “What’s new with you?”

Marinette sighs. “Not much, not much...oh! Madame Rossi has an embassy gathering to welcome a couple of famous people into France. And not just any people, people who work in the fashion industry!”

Sabine nods, smiling at Marinette’s delight. “And why exactly are these people coming?”

“It’s for the Gabriel event. I don’t know when it is, but apparently Gabriel Agreste is holding a huge gala, something about searching for a fashion assistant?,”

Sabine perks up at fashion assistant. “Marinette, you should enter!”

Marinette gasps. “I couldn’t! There’s no way! I mean, my designs are barely adequate, let alone Agreste worthy!”

Sabine shakes her head. “Everyone knows that isn’t true. Don’t put yourself down like that!”

Marinette blushes. “Thanks Sabine,”

The woman smiles. “Well, anyways, are you allowed to go to the embassy event? It’s a great opportunity, you wouldn’t want to miss it,”

“I mean, Madame Rossi did invite me and Lila, but Lila spilled a bunch of coffee on the carpet, and cracked the dining table this morning. It’s all a stunt, she did it on purpose. She’s blaming it on me, which means I’ll get grounded, and I won’t be able to go, and you know there’s nothing I can do about that,”

Sabine sighs, placing a hand on Marinette’s shoulder. “Oh dear. The next time I see Lila, I’ll tell Tom to get that girl and her mother arrested!”

Marinette laughs. “As much as I’d like that, where would I live?”

The rumble of the oven from behind the store dies down, and Tom walks into the main room. The room seems friendlier all at once, his large personality filling the space.

“Here, with us,” he declares proudly. “You’re like a daughter already,”

Marinette giggles, her cheeks growing red. “Alright guys, we’ll see,”

Sabine and Tom laugh as Marinette runs away to help a customer. Their afternoons with Marinette pass by quickly, and while they wish it was longer, you know what they say: time flies when you're having fun.

By the time Marinette gets off her shift, it’s 5:30 in the evening. Paris’s sky starts to fade from its normal cotton-candy blue to a marmalade orange. The hustle and bustle of the busy streets start to die down, and once she texts her address to Alya, Marinette makes her way to the bus stop.

While her time in the bakery is her favorite time of day, her time on the bus doesn’t prove to be too bad either. She likes the quiet silence, and enjoys her time away from the world around her.

The bus is probably her favorite mode of transportation (but her only one as well). When she volunteered to work at the bakery after school, Madame Rossi decided that ‘the streets were too dark at night for Marinette to walk alone’, and she was given a bus pass.

It was a small and random act of kindness that Marinette wouldn’t ever get again. It was also the only gift she ever got from her adopted mother, and despite not being too fond of Madame Rossi, she did treasure the gift.

Madame Rossi paid for her bus rides until Marinette was actually hired at the bakery. It was then that she decided to have Marinette pay her own bills, an action that most certainly helped Marinette for the future.

The sound of tires skidding against the pathway jolts Marinette out of her thoughts. She turns to see her normal bus waiting in front of her, and grabbing her bus pas, waits in line behind a couple others to get on.

That is, until she sees what’s about to happen.

Marinette watches as a man across the street tries to cross. He’s old, as his grayed hair and aged face tells, but his most identifiable quality is the red Hawaiian shirt he wears, embossed with a white hibiscus floral pattern.

Besides that, there’s also a car coming straight for him, and though it’s a little while away, there’s no doubt that he’ll get hit.

Marinette does the only thing she can think of. She runs.

The street is narrow, and Marinette manages to pull the man across the pathway before the car comes. She huffs, turning to the man to smile.

He has an odd look in his eyes, lips curved into a mysterious smile as Marinette quirks her eyebrow.

“Thank you, young lady,” he nods.

“You’re welcome!” she smiles, turning to look at the bus, which has started leaving. “Goodbye and stay safe, sir!”

The old man watches as Marinette just manages to catch the bus, stopping it and shouldering her backpack as she climbs on.

Marinette seats herself as the bus starts once more, and turns to her window to look for the old man.

But by the time she does, he’s gone.

Alya gets to Marinette's house at just the right time. When she reaches, Marinette has done a couple of her chores, cleaned up the living room, and put out the carpet in the first floor bathroom. Against the white rug, the coffee stain is obvious, and Marinette sighs as she inspects it.

How were they ever going to get it out?

There’s a knock at the front door, and Marinette knows it’s Alya. Smiling, the girl heads to the living room to open it.

Alya gasps as she sees the house. From the marble kitchen to the hickory-brown wood flooring, everything is pristine and clean, as if the Rossis live in a mansion.

(They don’t, but the house is still fairly big. Marinette sometimes has to clean it all as part of her chores, but luckily that hasn’t happened in a while.)

“Dang girl,” Alya sighs, “you rich or what?”

Marinette nervously laughs, cracking her knuckles. “Uh, I don’t know,”

“I’m joking,” Alya smiles. “But, random thing, where’s Lila?”

“She’s out. Doctor’s appointment for her, um, wrist,”

“Aw, that’s too bad. Tell her I said get better soon!”

Marinette sighs. She doesn’t like lying, but it’s far better than what would happen if she told the truth.

“Yea. Anyway, how are you getting the stain out? I tried all morning, but it was stuck,”

“Just watch me, girl,” Alya smirks. “Before we start though, you already blotted the stain,right?”

Marinette furrows her eyebrows. “Blotted? What do you mean?”

Alya demonstrates with her hands. “Like, did you take a paper towel and try to get as much of the stain out as you could?”

Marinette nods. “Yeah, that’s why I was late this morning,”

Alya nods. “Ok, so now we just have to make the cleaner,”

Marinette raises an eyebrow. “Make? This is getting a little crazy,”

“It’s really not,” Alya laughs, “I’ve done this a thousand times before. My sisters knock over my dad’s coffee way too much,”

Marinette laughs. “Alright then, show me what to do,”

Alya makes her way to the kitchen, filing through multiple cabinets. “Where’s your dish soap?”

“Bottom-left drawer next to the sink,” Marinette points.

“And your white vinegar?”

“Fridge. Anything else you need?”

“Just water,” Alya replies. “Warm, that is. And two cups of it,”

Marinette nods. “Got it,”

Alya takes out a steel bowl from one of the cabinets. “And can I use this?”

Marinette nods again. “Go ahead,”

“Great,” Alya says, pouring a spoon of dish soap followed by a spoon of vinegar. She waits for Marinette to get the water before adding that in as well, and then mixing. “That should do,”

“Work your magic then,” Marinette laughs.

“Just watch and see girl, I totally will,”

Alya finds a cleaning rag from a drawer in the island, and she runs over to the carpet. “Grab yourself a rag, Marinette, and let’s get started!”

Marinette laughs, and runs over to help. The time passes quickly, and by the time the coffee stain is gone and the carpet is dry, two hours have gone by. Their hands are sore and their legs are tired, but both can say that they had fun.

In the midst of it, Marinette almost doesn’t notice when Lila texts her.

Today

— 2 New Messages —

Lie-La 😒: open the back door

Lie-la 😒: im right by my house

Almost.

“Alya!” Marinette gasps, both sitting on the couch after the carpet was rolled back underneath the dining table. “It’s so late, don’t you have to go at 7?”

Alya tilts her head, confused. “No?”

“Oh well then I must have said it,” Marinette laughs nervously. “Yes that’s right! I’ve got work, haha. Bye!”

Marinette practically pushes Alya to the front door, while Alya looks lost and puzzled.

“Didn’t you already have work?” Alya asks.

“Yep, but gotta save up for uni right? Haha. Haha,”

Alya nods, squinting her eyes as she walks out the door.

“Um, bye? See you at school, girl,” Alya nods, quietly laughing.

“Bye!” Marinette smiles. Once Alya is farther away and out of sight, Marinette runs to open the back door. She can faintly hear the sounds of Lila’s friend’s car pulling into the driveway, so she dashes back upstairs as fast as she can. The last thing she wants to do is talk to Lila, much less be alone in a room with her.

She hopes that Lila won’t try anything while she’s in her room.

Sighing, she smiles when she stops at the attic door, and heads inside.

Before Madame Rossi found her and decided to take her in (how she came to that conclusion, Marinette would never know), the attic was all set to be Lila’s playroom. The entire room was painted pink from head to toe (even the carpet was a light shade of pink). There was a wooden wardrobe for all of Lila’s toys, and a desk with markers, painting supplies, and coloring pencils galore.

But then Marinette came along.

For one reason or another, she was given the attic as her own room. Out went the ideas of toys and tents in the room, and in came Marinette.

Madame Rossi didn’t give her anything. From the age of 2 till the age of 4, she slept on the ground, the lack of a bed present to her each night.

Until Lila outgrew her bed of course, which was then given to Marinette.

It was simple. Since Marinette was smaller than Lila, and slower at growing, she was often given Lila’s old things. All the clothes that Lila didn’t want, Marinette had. From her bed to the old beanbag in her room (one of the only things Lila gave her as decoration) everything was a hand me down from Lila herself.

Marinette sighs, and then flops into the bed. She’s lucky that Lila doesn’t bother if Marinette doesn’t get on her nerves.

Hopefully, until she can get out of this place, she’ll manage without angering Lila too much.

Standing up, Marinette locks herself in the attic, a faint click of the door behind her, and gets out her phone. Opening up Spotify, she starts her playlist, and goes over to the desk.

For the next hour, she does homework and finishes a project, all while sketching out designs for new dresses.

And hey, if she’s lucky, she might just be able to make one for the gala.

Marinette shuffles through her desk drawers, pop music playing through her earbuds. It’s nearly 8 PM and she’s searching for the special gold thread she had bought a couple weeks ago. It cost nearly a month's pay, and she’s been saving it for a special occasion.

With the dress she was sketching, she wanted to know if it was now.

She’s still searching through the drawers on the left side of the desk when she finds a box.

One that she feels might not have been there before.

(Then again, she rarely looks through all her drawers, so there’s always a chance that it could’ve been.)

Marinette feels confused. The box is made of a dark brown wood, and shaped like an octagon. The top of the box is embossed with a red design. Glimmering red circles meet wavy, thin lines, but Marinette is preoccupied with figuring out what the box is for.

In the end, she decides to open it. There can’t be much inside, can there?

Turns out, Marinette is wrong.

The moment she opens it is a frightful one. In that second, there’s a bright flash of light. It swirls around her as Marinette gasps, dropping the box onto the carpet as two solid-black earrings fall out.

That’s not the amazing part of it all though. After a second, Marinette comes face to face with a spotted red creature.

Needless to say, she screams.

“Hi Marinette!” the spotted creature says. “My name is Tikki! It’s nice to meet you!”

“Mouse!” Marinette hollers, “Bug! Bug-mouse! Talking bug mouse!”

Marinette scooches back, her hand grabbing books and papers off her desk as she throws them at Tikki.

“I’m here to help!” Tikki says, dodging the objects. “I’m here to help you!”

“Liar!” Marinette calls, searching for more things to throw. “This must be Lila’s version of a joke ! I can’t believe her!”

She takes her water-bottle from her backpack, and quickly moves to trap Tikki in it.

“It’s ok Marinette, I won’t hurt you,” Tikki smiles. “But if this makes you feel better, then this is ok!”

There’s a pause, and then Marinette sighs and chooses not to answer, leaning back, and quickly grabbing her school tablet off her desk. She points it at Tikki, trying her best to look intimidating.

“Who are you?” Marinette asks, “and what do you want?”

“Like I said, my name’s Tikki! I’m a kwami!” the tiny bug says, (still trapped in the bottle but floating in midair, Marinette notes) “And I want to help you!”

Marinette sighs, lowering her weapon tablet. “Did Lila send you somehow?”

Tikki furrows her forehead in place of her eyebrows. “No? Who’s Lila?”

Marinette bitterly chuckles, standing and throwing her arms into the air. “This. This. This is why you can’t help me. No one can. Anyone who meets Lila thinks she’s an ‘absolute angel’, and no one else knows her. How is someone supposed to help me if no one knows that my problem exists?!”

“Marinette,” Tikki sighs, “I promise you, I can help, if you’ll listen to me. Please let me explain, and then you can decide if you want to trust me or not, ok?”

Marinette pauses, considering the situation, and sits a fair distance away from Tikki, keeping her tablet in her hands.

���Ok,” she responds, facing the little bug. “But you have 5 minutes,”

Tikki smiles again. "And that's all I need,"

quick links: < previous chapter | first chapter | next chapter >

a/n: i resolve to post the next chapter soon lmaoo, thanks for reading! have an absolutely amazing day, you deserve it! 

taglist:

i’ll be tagging the people that i had tagged before, along with a couple others who liked the previous chapter for this series. if you don’t want to get tagged, i’m very sorry! just shoot me a private message, and i’ll take you off the tags. if you do want to get tagged, just tell me with a private message or an ask and i’ll add you to the taglist. thank you!

@reddragonofemeraldflame  @nomiegnome  @18markers @katbab @emmathedestroyer @bluesesameseed @cyborgcandy @karukofox21 @aestheticnpoetic c @magnificentcrapposts @miraculouslylee @lonestarfangirl2014 @lambdaarietis @miraculous-twilight @miraculous-twilight @silver-twilight @emmarosemary11​ @whiterosequeen23 @whatschooldoesntteachyou @shaykaleen @itswelphereiamuniverse​ @seraphichana​ @ladynoirotphell​ @tinynuggetofterror​ @tinkabella256​ @coopermaggie​

[xnchxntmxnt]

If the match up is still open I’d love it if you could do one with me and someone from Ouran. My pronouns are she/her. I graduated from college May 2021 with a degree in bio w/ zoology concentration. I am an introvert until you get to know me then I never stop talking. I’m also extremely loyal once you are my person you have to do a lot to change that. I’d prefer a male but love the female characters too lol I love your work! Thank you!!!

ooooh fancy human ur a scientist nowww

im half asleep writing this i apologize in advance BUT congrats on graduating!!!!!

also thank u for saying u love my work that warms my heart I get so hype bc 9 times out of 10 you reblog my stuff. yes I notice it makes me happy lol <3

you're being matched with...

haruhi fujioka!

alright alright ik. ik you said male character but 1) nb haruhi rights 2) the vibes were too strong i couldn't help it

smart people!! you guys are both super cool i swear lol

bitching about classes together

rambling about that One Niche Interest in that one class you have together

she's very introverted and likes her alone time, but you both can have alone time together if that makes sense?

her favorite days are when you guys can just vibe together and enjoy your peace and quiet

quiet chill music in the background

you can scroll on your phone or read or whatever

she's next to you with her head on your shoulder probably reading

that is until tamaki calls and interrupts everything because he somehow has the best and worst timing in existence

i think you guys are just kinda stuck together? she gives me the vibes of someone who doesn't enjoy constant change, so once youre her person, youre her person and thats that

that means that she will do whatever she can to make you happy and i assume you'll do the same

she loves cooking with you?? she's been cooking since her mom died and honestly enjoys it

if you can't cook? no worries she likes spoiling you

if you can? wonderful. help her out/make dinner for her

dates are usually at home, although you guys go to the occasional party

usually hosted by one of the former host club boys

they all love you btw

haruhi was really nervous to introduce you to the boys but when you got along w them she was suddenly less nervous and just happy for you

tamaki is ur biggest fan i swear to god #1 shipper here

anyway yall r cute <3

[heartshattering]

I'm really tired but I feel like I should mention this anyway... basically my mom says she's getting rid of our Internet tomorrow, because I'm still not "helping enough"

/// TW for paranoia and religious stuff under the 'Read More'

She also says I'm letting demons into our house through the computer too and that they are attacking her and that it's my fault?

Pretty much, this is because she is convinced that a particular relative put a curse on her (to cause my mom physical pain), and my mom thinks I've been looking at this relative's social media which she says causes 'the curse to get worse' (give my mom pain flare-ups), and that I've been inviting demonic entities into our house when I use the computer.

Regardless of whether she gets the Internet disconnected or not I just don't know how much time I'd be able to spend online anyway with the constant interruptions and with her health getting so bad and my own health (mental and physical) being far from picture-perfect either.

I feel absolutely miserable, like a complete failure who can't even help her mom correctly, to the point where my mom is thinking that demons/curses are what's causing the chaotic shit that goes on in our house, she doesn't want me using the computer, but she also doesn't want me writing, or watching Netflix, or doing anything besides tending to her 24/7...... do you all see what I mean when I say I would just rather sleep the day away than put up with this kind of shit every day? :'))))) fuck I hate it here

[malfoys-demigod]

Hi, can I request a fic where Reader meets Spencer's Mom for the first time? So like, at the start Spencer is talking to his Mom about reader on a visit, and shows her photos of you, saying how much he loves you and how much he wants to marry you and she insists on meeting you. Reader is nervous as she doesn't have a good relationship with her Mom, but it turns out Diana adores you and shows you pictures of baby Spencer, little baby facts about him and tells Spencer how perfect you are for him💜

She’s Perfect - Spencer Reid x Reader

Requested by anon!

SPENCER’S POV

“She’s ready to see you, Mr. Reid.” said the nurse in the front desk. 

Despite having a pants dropping schedule at work, I always managed to find time for Y/N, and of course my mother. Even if I write to her everyday, being able to physically be with her hits differently. I get to entertain her by discussing how my day at work usually goes. I never brought up Y/N. I figured she didn’t want to see her son fly away into the arms of another woman but Y/N has been something special to me and it’s about time I share that part of my life with my mom. 

I take a big deep breath as I see my mom cleaning up her checkers game. “Hi, Mom.” I walked over, greeting her with a big hug. 

“Spencer, good to see you!” My mom looked at me, happy to finally see a familiar face again. “How have you been? It’s been awhile since you’ve visited.” 

“I’m sorry, work has recently been demanding. We’ve been receiving so many cases that sometimes after every case, we start a new one the next day! It’s been super crazy that our boss Agent Hotch considers sleeping overnight in his office! I can’t even get to allot myself time to spend time with either Y/N or you-“, Mom stopped my rambling as she heard an unfamiliar name, “Y/N? Who’s Y/N?” She asks, placing a finger on her chin.

 “She’s the love of my life, mom.” I said, smiling like a schoolboy in love, “I’ve been a proud boyfriend for 5 years and counting. I actually have pictures of her! Here.” I excitedly said, pulling out my phone which contained several hundreds of pictures of her. “This is her on our first date. We spent the day at the library, showing each other our favorite books.” 

I grinned even wider than before that I saw mom looking at me as if she’s never seen me this happy. “You must really love her, don’t you Spence?” She asked, rubbing me in the back. 

“With all my heart, mom.” I nodded. “From the very first day I laid eyes on her, I already knew she was going to be someone special to me. Being in love is a magical thing, but it doesn't always look the same for every couple. Some people fall in love and never express that love, others fall in love with someone who doesn't feel the same way, and sometimes people fall in love but can't make it work. Then, there are the lucky ones like me and Y/N who fall in love and whose love is returned. The admiration is mutual, we put each other first despite both having challenging jobs, and we feel safe in each other’s arms. I’m positively sure that I’m ready to ask for her hand in marriage, mom. I’m scared and nervous but receiving your blessing will help me overcome my anxiousness.” I reply whole heartedly, shedding a tear from my eye. 

She so happens to see it and quickly wipes it off my face. “Spencer, I am extremely proud of you in every way possible and now seeing that you have somebody in your life who can be your true anchor is something special in life. I give you my blessings…” 

“I feel like there’s a but after that.” I said, waiting for a response. 

“But I insist on meeting your soon to be a fiancé. It’s about time I meet the young lady who’s been putting a smile on my son’s face for all these years!” She playfully demanded, putting her hands into a prayer form. 

I truly wanted her to meet Y/N so I nodded, promising her she’d see her by the end of next week. I now just had to convince Y/N to find time to go with me to see mom. 

The minute I got back home, I wanted to make tonight special, hoping the chances of asking Y/N to meet my mom would be higher. I cleaned up our shared apartment, cooked her favorite meal, and lighted up the candles to set the mood. 

She arrived exactly 20 minutes after I arrived, looking surprisingly calm after a hard day’s work. Big heart eyes were formed as she saw me waiting by the dinning table with a fully prepared feast awaiting her. 

“Spence, you made us my favorite!” Then her big heart eyes popped, forming a nervous look, “Oh my gosh, did I forget our anniversary? Do we have a special occasion? Oh my gosh I-“ “Not to worry, love. Just felt like making your favorite!” I interrupted, calming her. 

“Just felt like it? I have a hunch that there’s more than that. Did you secretly do something bad and you’re trying to make up for it? Did you lose my favorite sweater? Did you break something?” she vivaciously guessed. 

“Not quite.” I chuckled. “So I went to see my mom, and I finally told her about you!” 

“Aw! That’s so sweet of you to do. How is Diane?” 

“She’s intrigued by you, Y/N! I told her I’d bring you by next week to finally meet her.” 

“Oh.” was all she said as she walked over to the dining table and quietly took a sip from her water. Sitting across from her, I reached over to hold her hand, trying to get her to look at me. “Is there something wrong, Y/N? You don’t seem excited to meet her. Do you not want to meet her?” I questioned, looking sad. 

She finally looked up as she placed her hand over mine, “No, I’d love to meet her but I’m nervous Spencer but for reasons not concerning her but concerning my mother.” she quietly replied. “Obviously you’re fully aware that I may not have the perfect relationship with my mother. I used to be extremely close with her at a young age but as I started to grow older, I despised her for personal reasons, resulting in constant fights with her, tremendously damaging our relationship. The minute I turned 18, I decided to move away from her, only being in contact with my father. Sure, there are times where I have to see her, but my interactions with her are different. I can barely share eye contact with her or continue a conversation with her after more than 5 sentences. What I’m trying to say is, what if I develop a similar relationship with your mother, Spence? What if it turns out that she doesn’t like me? After all, I’m taking her only child away from her. I’m not after all a ‘mom person’ so what if I don’t have a good relationship with her in general? I’m so frightened by all the possibilities!” she broke down, heavily sobbing. 

I quickly stood up from my chair across hers to sit down beside her, giving her a bone-crushing hug, rubbing her back, “Love, it’s alright. Let it all out.” I whispered in her ear, “Y/N/N, you know why she’s intrigued by you? It’s because of all the things I told her about you. Do you know how I love you? First of all, I know what love is because I feel it. I believe that when you are in love with someone, you feel the feelings that you read about in books. When you see your person, your heart leaps a little bit. You long for their touch, and you want to know everything about them. Spending time together is lovely, and you care about their hopes and dreams. Second, I never question our relationship. One way to know I love you as much as you love me has to do with how much time I spend questioning the relationship. Do you think that I want to be in this relationship but just aren’t sure? Do I think about whether I’m making a mistake in committing to you? Do I find myself rationalizing my relationship more often than not? People who love someone else as much as they love them don’t constantly question the relationship. They are secure in the fact the love is real and equal and that a commitment to it is a smart one. Finally, my attention for you never wanders. My eyes are always set on you and you only. They never wander around, looking for other potential mates as they are devoted to looking at you forever. You’re special, Y/N. My mom can feel it and it’s time she sees it.” I told her, kissing her in the cheek. 

“Wow, Spence. I’m speechless.” she chuckles, “I guess it’s time I meet the mother who gave life to this genius right here.” she nods, embracing me. 

-- 

One week has passed and I could sense that Y/N was genuinely excited, more excited than me perhaps. We walked hand-in-hand, entering the care home where my mom awaited to see my girl. 

As we walked in, mom unexpectedly noticed us first, speed walking over to us, opening her arms for a hug, “You must be the very special Y/N Y/L/N. It’s such an honor to meet my boy’s girlfriend.” she smiles, “Come, sit beside me.” she walks over to the couch. 

“The honor is all mine, Mrs. Reid! I’m delighted to finally meet the mother who raised the special man in my life.” Y/N politely said, sitting down beside her, “I brought you some baked goods I made for this special day.” she said, excited to give her the goods I helped make. 

Mom gasped, happily taking the goods. She then looked at me with a proud face, “Beautiful and thoughtful. She’s a keeper, Spence and honey, please call me Diane or Diana.” she nodded, giving me a thumbs up. 

“I know she is.” I proudly say, wrapping an arm around Y/N. 

“I’m so lucky to have a smart, caring, and handsome man, Diane.” Y/N said, placing a small peck on my cheek. Mom raised a finger in the air, “Speaking of handsome, I have baby pictures of our handsome man right here.” she said, digging up pictures from her bag.  “Wasn’t he a cutie pie?” she asked, presenting baby pictures of me. Usually I would be embarrassed, but seeing my two constant rays of sunshines, I couldn’t help but watch them gush over me together. It was something I was definitely remembering for life. 

As hours passed by, mom had dozens of pictures to go about with you as with every picture shown, she’d give out a single fact about me when I was a baby. You know how time passes real by when you have fun? I for sure, felt that. If I can recall, we arrived at 1pm and even though it felt like only a couple of hours passed by, it was already 7pm as visiting times were ending. Neither Y/N or I wanted to leave as we both felt safe and sound in the presence of mom. But rest assured, mom told Y/N that we were always welcome to swing by at any time as she loved having the two of us fill her day with happiness. Before we left, Y/N took the time to go to the ladies room, leaving me with mom, who took the chance to tell me something before we left. 

“Spence,” she said, grasping my hand, “I don’t know how you did it but you just found the perfect girl to walk this world. Like I said, she’s definitely a keeper. She’s perfect. I don’t want you to lose her or let her go. I can recognize a life long-lasting partner when I see one, and that’s her. Your relationship will last a lifetime, kiddo. If you’re planning to marry her like you said, ‘anytime’ is now, Spencer. Marrying Y/N will make me the proudest mama on earth.” she said, looking at me with a smile on her face. 

“Thank you, mom. I will make you the proudest mama on earth.. soon” I said, nodding in agreeance.