#because my roommate joked abt it

[mavohq]

tweeg plush acquired

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[queenburd]

@alexis-royce I SAW THAT REBLOG BEFORE U DELETED IT

[babybsweettea]

the most insane part of the velma show is i keep seeing people call it woke like. babe no. the “woke” website hates it too. conservatives really do love to pretend any media they dislike must cater to progressives regardless of how anyone else actually feels

[itsbeginningtostart]

Let me tell you how much easier it is to binge shows instead of taking turns with like. Everyone in my household on one computer.

[tiredofthehumanlife]

Honey(s) I'm home and very sad!

Barbie dolls: Roommates! Rosekiller x gn!reader

Word: 2.6k

Summary: uh you have a rlly rlly bad day and your lovely roommates make you feel better with cuddles and ice cream

Warnings: uh Barty dresses slutty?, eating mentioned and particuly described (ice cream), undefined retaliationship you're roommates but also crushing but also affectionate but also not talking Abt it idk stop asking, I lost like three hundred followers bc I was super depressed so to those three hundred people you suck I think🫀 so actually I take that back new information has come up and turns out its a Tumblr glitch my bad, you sleep in Evan and Barty's bed for like three seconds, Evan smokes, Barty hates fiction books and reads self help and nonfiction instead, Evan's very cleanly, Barty's very not that, idk do you guys actually rlly even like me or whatsittoya, kisses very cutesie, you cry, uh extremely brief mention of fighting

Hard days were never something that you truly expected. Sure you could picture all the worst possibilities and know that something bad will happen but you still never catch the full feeling of your reaction until you're sitting in it. You don't particularly want to show your upset but at the same time, you haven't turned your lips up in hours. The whole day just went downhill from the start. Once you start to think of the specifics you feel tears well up in your eyes. You just needed to get home. That's all. 

You weren't going to cry on the way home you'd do it in the safety of your own walls. You hoped your roommates, Evan and Barty, were in their room. You couldn't face them like this, you needed to hold on to the last bit of dignity you still had with them. You could never keep a hold of yourself with them. You snorted in your laughter even though their jokes weren't that funny. You fell over your words and came away from your conversations wishing you could try again. You stared too hard and ended up getting caught. You'd share too much information in an attempt to impress them. 

All you wanted was to go home, curl up in your blankets, and cry until you felt like a raisin. You felt the weight of your day double as you slipped your key into your front door. You hooked your keys onto the key holder on the wall. You shrugged your coat off, throwing it at the coat tree. You felt your tears building up as your walls slowly slipped away. The familiar home relaxed them even then you wanted to hold strong until you got to your room. You couldn't toe your shoes off fast enough, getting so frustrated you reached down and yanked your shoe off. You flung it at the shoe rack, ignoring that it wasn't anywhere near the other one you had slipped off. 

As you left the foyer, stepping towards your bedroom, Barty and Evan’s door opened. Barty leaned against the frame, crossing his arms over his chest. His sweatpants were riding low on his hips, showcasing his happy trail. His shirt was butchered and jaggedly cut along the bottom of his rib cage.

“Hey baby, have you ever tried that cake-” Barty paused when he saw the anger and tears pulling at your face. He straightened up, dropping his arms to his sides. 

“What's the matter?” Barty asked. You shook your head and waved him off. You could easily slip away now, get to your room before Evan found out. Barty could let something like this slide but not Evan. Evan must've been summoned by your thoughts because just as you thought you could get away scot-free Evan’s hand slid over Barty's shoulder. His form appeared after that, slipping next to Barty past the doorframe. He furrowed his eyebrows at you. You grumbled incoherently as you realized you weren't going to be able to get out of this one. 

“Are you okay?” Evan asked. You hated how easily Evan was able to massage away your wall with just his tone. You had been holding the tears back so well too. Just a few more minutes and you could’ve made it to your room. You wanted to just say ‘yes’ and to retreat your room. You wanted to swallow your tears and act mature… by hiding your feelings, obviously. Unfortunately what you wanted and what Evan's presence caused was something entirely different. 

Something about him just broke your walls so easily. It wasn't his tone, it wasn't his words, it wasn't his charming attitude, it was just him entirely. Evan could just lay his eyes on you and you were falling apart at his feet. You wondered if maybe Barty felt the same. 

Your throat tightened with sadness and your eyes welled with tears. You shook your head, looking away from him. Evan’s breath hitched and covered it up with a hum. He stepped around Barty and held his arms out for you. You didn't bother fighting the urge to hide in them. You wrapped your arms around his waist, pressing your cheek into his shirt. Evan’s arms warmed your back, it pushed you closer to tears. Evan hummed, the vibrations comforting you. 

You felt Barty's hand join at your back, rubbing up and down. You let the tears go, crying into Evan's sleep shirt. Barty’s hand continued its comforting circles. You let it all go, all the frustrations of the day. Evan and Barty didn't stall for a second. They let you choke it all out, your shoulders shaking with tears. 

A few minutes later, your tears slowed. You sucked in a breath, pulling away from Evan. Evan drew his hands away from your back, cupping your face instead. Barty didn’t move his hand, continuing to rub circles on your back. You steadied yourself with your hands on Evan’s waist. 

“Do you want to lie down?” Evan asked, raising an eyebrow at you. You nodded, feeling the urge to slink back into his arms again. Evan released your face, slipping his hand into yours. He tugged you towards his and Barty’s room. You ignored the gnawing feeling that you were intruding. Barty stayed back, the sounds of him shuffling towards the kitchen behind your head. Evan nudged his bedroom door open with his foot, dragging you after him. 

You were rarely in Evan and Barty’s room. How frequently did one really need to be in their roommates’ bedroom? Not very. You’d ventured in once or twice before when Barty asked you to get something, or when Evan overslept and you had to nudge him awake so he wasn’t late for work. Though Evan rarely overslept anyway. 

Some nights you’d wake up with a deep desire for water, wandering for the kitchen with your eyes closed. You pull down a glass, fill it, and take a sip before noticing Evan’s presence. You still have your lips on the edge of the glass, halfway through the motion of tipping it up.

Evan was frozen on the windowsill, a lit cigarette still half between his fingers. The moonlight made his eyes shine like the way you’d catch a marsupial stealing your garbage in the middle of the night. His thumb flicked, making the bright cigarette bounce and the dark ash fall outside the window. You raised an eyebrow, lowering your glass. Evan sniffed, pulling his hand to his mouth again. He sucked in a deep drag of his cigarette, the end’s color glaring in the dark room. You kept your eye on him as you chugged the rest of your glass, finishing off the water completely. Evan stuck his hand out the window again, tilting his head back as a plume of smoke floated above his head. You set your glass in the sink deciding to wash it in the morning. 

“You know if you wake up in the middle of the night with intense thirst, it means you’re dehydrated,” Evan said, his voice still quiet from his distance. You groaned, flipping him off and shuffling back to bed. You ignored his chuckle behind you, still too tired to think of a good quip. 

Evan dropped your wrist, dragging your attention back to the moment. Their room was messy, but not terribly. It was a little obvious who was the messy one. The clothing on the floor you had only seen Barty wear and the large pair of black boots thrown at the foot of the bed were definitely his too.

Evan’s shoes were precisely set next to the door. The dresser shoved in the back corner seemed like his too, with multiple books stacked on top. All fiction, Barty couldn’t stand fiction novels.

You could easily deduce which side of the bed was whose, the right, closest to the door, had a pillow on the floor, and the blanket was skewed and clumped. The left had a pillow tilted but on the mattress and the blanket was set straight. The nightstand on the right had a tented book that appeared to be a self-help book on romantic relationships and a knocked over cologne bottle, the cap missing. Barty seemed to be about three chapters in, if that. You raised an eyebrow, slowly turning to Evan. Evan pressed his lips together and shrugged. 

“Barty’s a little messy. I’ve learned to live with it.” Evan muttered, his hand flying out to set the tipped-over cologne bottle on Barty’s nightstand upright. You hummed, still glued in your spot. Evan ignored it, stepping over Barty’s boots to get to his side of the bed. He slid under the blankets, smacking the mattress next to him on Barty’s side. You joined him, picking Barty’s pillow off the floor on the way there. You tossed it onto the bed, laying down and dropping your head on it. Evan let out a huff through his nose and gently brought his hand to your face, tracing the lines of your face. You closed your eyes and let your mind and body rest now that you were finally home. 

It probably wasn’t a good thing that you associated your sense of home with your roommates. It’s an obvious connection but maybe not to this degree. Your apartment didn’t feel whole without them.

At some point, they were going to pack their bags and move, or maybe you would, either way, you’d be without your two very peculiar roommates. You’d miss their strange habits. You weren’t sure you could find another roommate who would walk around the house on all fours if he got too sleep-deprived and your other roommate who would use stares as a form of communication. You weren’t sure if you could move on from your freaks of shared living quarters friends. They made you feel free and utterly comfortable. You knew they wouldn’t judge you for any of the slightly odd things you did because they did far worse things. 

You shouldn’t feel so attached to these two and yet here you were, snuggled up in their blankets. You weren’t going to even think of the strange urge to lean forward and kiss them both that washed over you far too frequently. Evan’s hand slipped away, instead pulling your hand away from your chest to hold onto it himself. You felt sleep pulling at your mind, his soft fingertips on your skin slipping away. Your lungs filled and released like a rocking wave with ease. Your body stopped moving, joints going rigid with sleep. 

And then Barty slammed open the door, the doorknob knocking back into the wall. You jolted, your rest shattering like a glass vase. You sat up on your elbows, looking back at the door. Evan sat up straight, annoyance weighing his brow down. 

“Barty!” Evan chided, staring at the man in the doorway with disbelief. Barty turned around with three bowls cradled in his arms. A spoon was held between his teeth, his foot jutting out to find the edge of the door. He hooked the back of his heel over the edge, kicking his leg back to close the door. Barty tried to respond, the spoon in his mouth making it choppy. A few strings of guttural sounds slipped out from behind his teeth, making the general shape of a sentence. You let them stir in your head for a moment, trying to decipher them. 

Evan shook his head, not understanding a lick of what Barty said. He turned to you, to see if you caught it but you doubted you could’ve caught it if there wasn't a spoon in his mouth. You threw a hand up, giving up entirely. Barty let out a scoff, joining you two at the side of the bed. He set down one of the bowls on his nightstand, next to his book. He leaned down over his bowl, tilting his head to the side. Barty opened his mouth, letting the spoon clatter inside the bowl. You sat up, looking inside to see his favorite ice cream inside. Barty stuck the other two bowls out to you and Evan. You gently took it from him, looking between Evan and Barty. 

“I didn’t have hands, it’s hard to be quiet when you’re opening a door with no hands,” Barty said. His hand flapped, silently telling you to scoot over. You scooted into Evan’s side, leaning back against the bed frame. Barty flung himself into the mattress, making you and Evan bounce up and down for a moment. You stared at Barty in displeasure with your rather cold bowl in your hands. You pictured the moment from outside your view, Barty’s relaxed and stretched frame on the bed. You and Evan glaring while bouncing with your bowls held away from you. You would’ve laughed if your nap hadn’t been rudely interrupted. Barty sat up, pulling his bowl off his nightstand into his lap. He stuck his spoon into his ice cream, bringing the spoonful to his mouth. He looked up and paused in his eating. 

“What?” His words were muffled by the ice cream in his mouth. You sniffed, turning to look at Evan. Evan shook his head at Barty. 

“We were peacefully sleeping, Barty,” Evan said, still accepting the ice cream and pulling his spoon up to his mouth. You decided they had no problem with eating in their bed, scooping out your own bite. 

“Yeah in my bed. That I paid for, thank you for your service, Barty. We love you, Barty. You’re so sexy, Barty. Please, Barty, let us repay you for your kindness. That’s what I want to hear out of your mouths right now, not complaints.” Barty said, tipping his voice up to mock your voices. You glanced at Evan to make sure you heard right. You kept your eyes on your ice cream as you readied another mouthful. 

“I’m not saying that.” You muttered before taking a bite into your mouth. Evan hummed in agreement. 

“You must’ve forgotten to take your pills this morning because I would never say that.” Evan frowned, licking his spoon clean before taking another bite. Barty quickly swallowed his scoop before faking a gasp. 

“You don’t love me? Wow okay, I see how it is.” Barty joked, a smile playing on his lips. Evan froze, staring at the blanket to run back through Barty’s words. He dropped his spoon into his bowl. 

“Well, no. I do love you. I take back what I said.” Evan said, keeping his eyes on Barty to make sure his point was taken seriously. Barty cooed, leaning forward over your lap. He puckered up his lips and you leaned back. Evan met him in the middle, pressing a kiss to Barty’s lips. You stifled a groan at being trapped both between and under them. 

“Gross. I have feelings too, you know.” You muttered, trying to look anywhere but the kiss between your two rather attractive roommates. They pulled back from each other, returning to their original seats. You felt your shoulders relax, knowing the discomfort was finally over. You looked down at your bowl, stabbing your spoon into your ice cream again. You are startled at the feeling of their lips pressing against both your cheeks in two brief kisses. They pulled back returning to their ice cream. 

“We love you too,” Barty muttered before taking another bite of his ice cream. You hummed, swallowing down the true feelings you could bring up. Barty was the first to finish his bowl, setting it on his nightstand. He took the silence as a sign for him to tell you both about his day in extreme detail. You didn’t mind it. Barty was entertaining and it distracted you from your terrible day. You actually enjoyed laying in bed with them, eating ice cream, and watching Barty fling his arms about to explain his day. At one point he got up to act out how’d he‘d pummel Evan’s boss if he didn’t give Evan a promotion soon. 

[piastappies]

hi lovie! could you do some percy (or leo, maybe both?? i love them sm hahaha) headcanons abt dating an aphrodite’s child?

I COMPLETELY LOVE THE IDEA OMG??? tysm for requesting anon <3

sorry if it’s not like you imagined it😭 it’s my first time with headcanons like that

dating percy as an aphrodite’s child would include . . .

okay you all gotta admit that if percy could, he would brag about his partner being so beautiful that no one can compete with them

i feel like he’s at the university and some guys are talking and he just waits for a chance to show you off and be like “they are literally a goddess’ child”

BUT IN FRONT OF YOU??? he’d get so awkward even if you were dating for so long

also i’m 100% sure annabeth would sometimes point it out and laugh at the way he turns into a hot mess around you

but tbh you thought it was cute, cus let’s be real. it’s percy jackson, if you weren’t a hot mess around him as well, who would you be?

if you two are sent on a mission together, he rarely thinks about himself first, always making sure you’re okay before he checks himself

in his dorm he probably has pictures of you sticked to the wall in like a heart shape and his roommates might make fun of him for being such a simp but those photos gives him strength whenever you two are apart 🔥

he’s all in for that relationship, he even officially introduced you to both his parents and paul

you taught him how to braid hair and whenever you stay at his mom’s he braid his sister’s hair under your supervision ☹️☹️

when he started dating you he probably became such a gossip guy LIKE hear me out, he started paying attention to details and people’s behavior to talk about it with you

“you won’t believe what i heard today from piper.” “nah, she didn’t told me about it directly, her body language did.”, “i know right, how could he do that to her?”

he’s all in for the tea‼️‼️‼️

OH and also when you began dating he started paying more attention to jewellery and his outfits upgraded so much??

HE IS ALSO SO JEALOUS OF YOU AND HE KISSES YOU IN PUBLIC WHEN HE CATCHES A GUY LOOKING YOUR WAY

“i know you’re a child of aphrodite but these people gotta know i am your ares. or hephaestus.” “wait, am i your ares or hephaestus?”

dating leo as an aphrodite’s child would include . . .

this man is head over heels for you, and i know i said percy also is head over heels for his partner but LEO is on different level

he often drags you to the bunker whenever he feels like it and make you sit there with him, while he crafts something (mostly for you)

that man dedicates all his work for you, like

“oh this? i made it for yn cus they said [insert thing] fall apart so i just… did it.”

ngl he is kind of insecure that you’d left him for a child of ares just like your mother did to his father. even though you reassure him he’s the one on your mind, it still stings him sometimes

getting an approval from your mom wasn’t even that hard as you thought it could be. though she wasn’t exactly the most delighted you were in love with her husband’s child but… love is love right?

pet names in spanish ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

n you would pick it up and surprise him by calling him something in spanish <3

EVEN THOUGH he’s insecure about history repeating itself he jokes about it way too much sometimes 😭😭

brags to jason about you so much jason wants to off himself and i am not kidding

he once asked you to charm-speak him just to see how it feels

“what? don’t be like that, mi amor. i gotta know what’s your power’s like in case you do it subconsciously.”

(that’s literally the dumbest excuse you’d ever hear but didn’t care, considering it was your boyfriend who asked)

MANY people says you remind them of charlie and silena and when you heard it for the first time, you broke down crying because it was such a good compliment

[borzoilover69]

I have this vivid post-game earth c vision of jake roxy dave and ecto-clone meenah going on clubbing hijinks. Because theyre the only people in the friendgroup interested in doing that extrovert shit and 1/2 of the party gets invited by jake.

Meenah gets into a fight w/ jake bcus he thinks shes actually meenah, but in the end they laugh off the misunderstanding and joke insult each other and exchange socials. She also controls what music they listen to as they drive, and has a rotating door of dancestors who chill w/ them. Wears a lot of black.

Roxy is a bit flakey but she makes the cut cus shes generally chill and gets along w/ people. Shes the one buying bottles of soju from bws and texting in the backseat with her painted nails while keeping up w/ the others banter. Shes chill w/ going w/ the flow. She also manages to find more obscure clubs thru her feed or other mad hacker skillz (lulz). Wears a lot of colourful stuff

Dave got invited by Jake once as a “fuck it why not (and a massive fuck you to dirk)” and ended up vibing w/ meenahs music tastes (they have similiar tastes so shes chill w/ him) so they kept inviting him back. Generally doesnt have anything going on for him post-game so is always down for it, plus is totally trying to hit on jake to some regards. This is mutually beneficial, as jake is full aware of this fact. They are both jackasses full aware of the taboo crossover waiting to happen. Gets along REALLY well with jake after a few drinks. Jake and him generally dont talk in normal circumstances but you bet the minute jake asks if daves free hes getting off the fucking couch to text a reply much to the chagrine of his roommate vantas. Dave is the most basic its either a hoodie and shorts or a tshirt with cargos. Solid colour, little to no decor.

Jake is the passenger princess (part two) drinking before they get to the party and laughing or engaging with a bitching session with meenah. They have a sort of thing going for them in the way that meenah will drag jake into a bathroom and give him a peptalk or grill him for being too hard on himself. Respects her for her shit. BPD solidarity because in return for all the times shes grilled him in a bathroom about how strong he is for putting up with bullshit he receives from other people he in return makes sure to check on her when she isnt doing too hot and takes her out to lunch or something. Also they both bitch about their crazy exes, jake bitches about dirk and meenah bitches about ecto-clone aranea (they met in a psychward). Jake and meenah have an on-going “ill end my toxic relationship if you end yours.”

Roxy and Dave are both well aware this shit is taboo af but also they genuinely do not have that much going for them so its like a nod of respect to the fact theyre the two other gods who enjoy clubbing. Just not being the ones who plan and arrange it. They do like being invited tho.

Dave and Meenah both vape, Jake and Roxy dont. Meenah and Dave occasionally beef but he always ends up back in the crew cus hes usually the loser stuck parking and hes the only one trusted with the music other than Meenah. Meenah is VERY particular about the vibe. No sad songs. No indie. No chill beats. Gotta be high energy. I think she would listen to something like heartbeat by childish gambino or lemonade (feat.nav).

I have more thoughts about it ill prolly elaborate if anyone interested. I have such thoughts abt their fashion and habits. Enough about introverts lets get some extrovert rep.

[toxic3mmy]

prompt: alex comes home drunk and confesses his love for you

no warnings! just fluff <3

[sorry abt it being so short! just wanted to write a quick drabble]

you were sitting on your bed late on a friday night. it was around 2 am when you suddenly heard a loud crash coming from your living room. you jump up and creep towards the front door with a bat in your hand. your body shook slightly as you walked closer to the door. a dark figure was on the floor laughing. you realized you knew this laugh like no other. it was your idiot roommate alex.

“alex? are you okay?” you ask as you put the bat down and flick on the lights

alex didn’t answer you with his words and instead he responds with uncontrollably loud laughter and at the sound of it, you couldn’t help but smile.

“where have you been, idiot?” you rolled your eyes teasingly as alex finally answered you with coherent sentences

“i was out with the guys… just drinking and stuff ya knowww no biggie”

you steadied his wobbly body as you replied,

“i can tell you’ve been drinking… how much exactly did you drink ‘lex?” you ask a bit worried as alex was falling asleep while standing right in front of you

“i love it when you call me lex *hiccup* it’s so cute y/n/n”

your face began to heat up and you swatted him in his arm playfully as you repeated your question

“how much did you drink?”

“well…. i stopped counting after *hiccup* six? or maybe seven? dunno…”

your eyes widened at his response, realizing that not only was alex piss drunk, but he definitely is going to deal with a terrible hangover the next day.

“okay, c’mon borrachito… let’s get you to bed okay?”

you laugh softly as you carefully lead him up the stairs of your shared home. halfway up the stairs, alex stops in his tracks and looks at you.

“you smell really good… like soooo good”

you roll your eyes again at his drunken words and simply continue to take him to his bedroom. you open the door and lead him into his bed. you bring some water and a few aspirin for him to take when he wakes up and you hear alex mumble something as his eyes were closed.

“hm? what did you say ’lex?”

“i said… can i tell you a secret?”

i laughed at his small almost childish voice and nod before saying,

“yes, im listening”

“but… promise me that you won’t tell y/n, okay? let’s keep it between me and you”

you gulped as you didn’t know how to respond. what if he said something really deep and personal that was meant to be said when he was aware and sober? would he be angry at you? but what if it’s just some dumb secret that isn’t really a secret? it most likely was the latter, given that alex had a history with making jokes at all times no matter if it was inappropriate or not.

“okay… i wont tell y/n”

“PINKY SWEAR!!!” he sleepily held out his pinky and you hooked your pinky to his.

“okay… i really really like y/n… and i think im going to marry her one day, do you think she’ll say yes?”

you froze a bit after hearing what he just said. you continue to tuck him in silently before asking,

“why do you think you’re going to marry her someday?”

“because i love her. she’s my best friend and my other *hiccup* half” alex smiled with his eyes closed

you felt your heartbeat from head to toe. did he really mean this? maybe he was just talking out of his ass, being so drunk and all.

“okay mister romantic, it’s time for you to get some rest ‘kay?” you slowly get up and begin walking towards the door but alex tugged on your sleeve

“stay, please? i wanna cuddle my wife” he mumbled

“okay ‘lex, im here. i’ll stay, but only to make sure you don’t drunkenly choke in your sleep” you chuckle lightly

you take off your shoes and slide into bed next to him. you draped an arm over him and played with his soft hair, watching him smile as he had his eyes shut

“goodnight corazóncito mio” he cooed as he got comfortable and fell asleep rather quickly

“night alex” you whispered

you definitely were having a talk about this with alex tomorrow.

[yukasyukasyukasyukas]

Random valorant agents headcanons bc I'm sleep deprived

(this means I didn't get my 12 hours of sleep today)

Brimstone

Hugest ally on the VP (which, lets be honest, doesn't mean much since they're all gay)

First person KJ came out to and he was so emotional about it

Constantly tries to get the agents to get closer or at least respect each other but after Cypher mentioned how him and Breach treat one another he gave up

Calls some agents (Viper, Sage and Killjoy) by their first names on the everyday and calls Sova, Chamber and Deadlock (the other ex militars) by their last names

I wanted to hc him an American football team but idk any💞💞💞

Viper

Brimstone and Vyse are the only ones to call her Sabine bc they know her since before the "incident"

KJ also used to call her Sabine before the VP but Viper was bitter abt agents calling her by her first name

Scared for her life of failing Reyna, not because she actually fears her, but because she actually cares about Lucia

Older sister who lost contact with her family

Aroace

Has a snake named Viper that is older than the protocol

Omen

Is annoyed by people mistaking knitting with crochet

Very kind to the younger agents

In his own way though

Killjoy

Has an older sister who doesn't talk to her since she was a teenager

HOW DOES ONE BECOME THE LEAD OF A WHOLE DIVISION ON SUCH A HUGE CORPORATION AT THE AGE OF 18???!$+2+_(not a hc, just a concern)

The fact her dad died before she was born probably has something to do with her closeness to Cypher and Brimstone

Rich af but rents an apartment with another girl and that place is absolutely precarious

Pays the rent monthly even if she doesn't spend a single night there

Has a huge lesbian flag on the living room and that has gotten her very straight roommate into delicate situations with her boyfriends

Her roommate is Brazilian from São Paulo bc I want her to

Very easily impressed by anything Raze does even if it's something she can do a thousand times better

I feel like she would main a duelist if she played val, probably Reyna or Raze

Cypher

Has a picture of his wife and kids on his bedside table

He keeps Nora's favorite clothing and his children's baby toys

Girl dad obv

Killjoy reminds him of his oldest daughter and sometimes he calls her his daughter's name

Hates kingdom but since he joined the protocol he learned how to convive with their workers, even if he doesn't like it most part of the time

Scares little kids on Roblox for fun

Wouldn't mind having a relationship with a man but after Nora he can't imagine himself in another relationship so he doesn't give it a try

(I love him and Nora😭)

Sova

Calls the other agents by their first names

Was friends with Sage since before the protocol

Recommend Sage to Brimstone

One of the only coworkers Viper enjoys the company of

Once he tried to speak Spanish to mess around with Reyna and Raze swore he was speaking Portuguese bc of the accent

Trans bc I want to project into my fav characters

Morning walks

Sage

Calls everyone by their first names

Has two younger siblings but she hasn't had notice of them since she started the monk training

Misses them

Met Skye when researching about her healing powers, Skye was doing the same

Born radiant

Great at cooking but Jett gaslit her into thinking it was bad as a joke and she still believes it

After Harbor joined the VP she got back into cooking

Lesbian bc I said so

Not much close to the other women in the protocol, only Skye, Jett, Neon and Reyna

Closer to the men on the VP (Sova, Brimstone, Cypher, Iso, Omen etc)

Doesn't have a clue of why Clove doesn't like her

Phoenix

Nerd

This man is a canon theater kid, he absolutely LOVES musicals, specially Hamilton and Jett and Raze tease him Abt being British and liking it

Bi

For some reason Jett gaslights him into thinking he's actually gay, obviously never worked

Him and Jett break up for the most ridiculous reasons, they've already broken up more times than one can count on fingers

Banned from every kitchen he steps on

Learned Korean só Jett would shut up about her being bilingual while he only spoke English

Once he let Astra undo his dreads to give him braids, it was the saddest day of his life

Raze bullies him for his style💔💔💔💞

Jett

Can cook five stars dinners but insists on eating leftovers she finds on the fridge and steals from the other agents

Doesn't dare touching Chamber's "monstrosities of dishes"

Makes people their favorite dinner and a special breakfast on their birthdays

Cooks for the whole protocol on weekends

Most my hc surround on the fact she's always eating something and was a chef😔

Gaslights everyone into believing the most random and/or stupid things and has actually convinced Gekko that dog is a common dish in east Asia

First thing she asks every east Asian she meets outside of east Asia is if they eat dog

Sage was mad at her for this

Also bi

Reyna

Actually very caring and worried for most agents

Siblings relationship with Yoru

Randomly starts speaking Spanish to Sage just to annoy her

Learned Chinese just to mess around with Sage

Lesbiana

Flirts with Breach as a joke

Iso actually believed she and Breach were a couple when he arrived

Homophobic to Raze and Killjoy

Non ironically has offered to find Raze a better girlfriend than Killjoy

Wants to be a mother but can't because of her duties and Sage doesn't like children

Raze

BRAZILIPPINES

Hugest anarcocomunist

Grafitti artist

Has sent Kingdom, Killjoy and Viper dozens of blackmails before joining the protocol

Didn't like Killjoy for her first years in the protocol

Boombot was created as a "rebellion" from Killjoy's tech with an alarmbot that Kingdom placed near her house

Has a younger brother who is her absolutely whole world

Capoeira.

Breach

Actually speaks Portuguese very well

Dad jokes

Hates children and the only exception is Raze's younger brother

Please please please please please read the joke I posted😭

Didn't get along with Deadlock nor Chamber at first

Gets along well with Cypher, Harbor and Fade

Likes men and makes it everyone's business and is very annoying to homophobes about it (bi)

Has kissed Harbor once just to see the look of terror on a homophobic guy's eyes

Skye

Lesbian

Owes a personal gun that she uses to scare bigots and idiots in general

Was guilty about rejecting Yoru

Still is very close to him

Skyelock beloved

The ship name should be changed to Hiking Buddies or something

Can make a cat with her powers and it plays with Nightmare when it's starting to affect Fade too much

Closer to Fade than most agents think

Morning walks with Sova and Deadlock

Yoru

Has a huge knowledge on east Asian culture in general

Speaks ainu and a little uchinaguchi

Values culture and tradition more than his life

Constantly educating Jett on Korean traditions???

Mansplains a lot

Neon (single) teases him for being single

Has the "lesbian curse" in which every woman he likes is a lesbian and it's starting to develop into an "aroace curse"

Homophobic to Killjoy

Misogynist to Killjoy

everything you can think that is bad against Killjoy

And Reyna is with him on these

Astra

Pansexual

Nerd on physics

Knows a lot about quantum physics

That was me projecting, sorry

I need more astra content to make more headcanons 😔😔😔

Galaxsea/ astrarbor/ Neptune/ sea star

Born radiant

KAY/O

Doesn't actually have feelings, he's just programmed to make humans feel loved (besides, obviously, being a war machine)

It was a way of keeping the non radiant soldiers hopeful during the radiant war

He's a robot, of course he doesn't have feelings

Killjoy is absolutely fascinated by him and wonders if it was her who built him or at least made his project

The "hatred" he has for the radiants is also a way of keeping the non radiants feeling safe and appreciated

Sage is the exception from his radiant hatred because she's always appeared to be against Reyna's radiant dominant ideal world and he read that as a powerful ally to his cause

He's AI ofc he's gonna be a little dumb even though he's from like 2060

Chamber

I refuse to

Does he like men?

Was homophobic to Killjoy and Raze when they started dating and to Sage and Reyna

Was actually homophobic

Turned out he likes men???

I'm confused

I don't like him

Neon

BRAZILIPPINES

She probably knew Killjoy before the VP or at least heard about her not as an professional but as a person

Definitely likes women

Since she became a radiant at such a young age and os so powerful there were probably lots of accidents

Was mostly isolated from the outside for a long time before the thing that is sticked to her back was finished

That'd explain why she doesn't like making new friends, she doesn't know how to

Knows a lot of stuff involving quantum physics and science since her parents work at kingdom and she has worked with them

Fade

Constantly found sleeping on the floor

Sometimes she leaves Nightmare out of her bedroom to get a peaceful night of sleep

Goes to sleep on about the same time Skye is waking up

Fadelock goes hard too

You'll rarely see her awake but when you do she looks like she hasn't slept in a decade

Doesn't actually sleep, just take 30 min naps throughout the day

Took a while to stop calling Harbor "agent Batra" during missions

I just checked and that is lore inaccurate but idc

Likes men and women, never stopped to think of it as "oh, I'm lgbt" that's just one more small detail about her

Had a cat that her brother gave her when she was a kid, it died of kidney failure a few years before she joined realm

Harbor

History and architecture nerd

Also a philosophy enthusiast

Has a tattoo that says "Memento mori et memento vivere" and that's what caught Astra's attention at first

Him and Astra spend a lot of time just nerding around

He's very caring yet not much protective to the younger agents

Randomly throws water at people who walk by

Breach and Deadlock learned on the hardest way not to be around him with a glass of water

Calls Fade Hazel because at first he thought that was how it was and never corrected it

Older brother of two sister

Pansexual

Gekko

Grafitti artist

Is an only child but is very close to the children is his neighborhood

Gay

That guy looks so gay I'm gonna cry

Has a dog named Lizard

Him and Raze talk to each other in Spanish and Portuguese and it's an absolute nightmare for others to decifrate their alien language

Asked Sage if people actually eat dogs in Asia and was punished for a week, Reyna had lots of fun

Jett still teases him about it

She told Iso about that and every time Gekko asks him what he's eating he says it's dog

Him and Deadlock are actually chill about each other for as long as one doesn't cross the other's boundaries when it comes to his radivores

Deadlock

This woman doesn't have a drop of heterosexuality on her body

She thought she liked Iso but it turned out he was just the only one not asking her to get along with radivores and radiants

Hates when she's called by her first name

Skye, Sage and Sova call her Iselin or Ise

Lost contact with her family and legally got rid of her last name Legally got rid of her last name as a way to try to protect her parents from potential threats related to her missions (edited bc apparently Frøya and Anna were indeed Iselin's sisters and I was too stupid to notice)

Fadeskyelock(?)

Used to go on lots of missions involving radivores before the VP but after the polar bear she didn't trust herself near them again

Graduated in biology

She wanted to be a scientist when she was a kid

Used to be obsessed about radivores and radiance before the bear

Iso

Can't cook for his life

Used to think he liked Deadlock but it was just compulsory heterosexuality

Aroace

Not much close with most agents but Sage and Deadlock

Him and Raze are absolute nightmares to go in mission with, those mfs listent to music so loud they can't hear anything else

KJ was scared of him

Only listens to music that are on languages he doesn't speak

Raze showed him Brazilian funk and he started listening to it during missions

Clove

Don't give a shit if they're misgendered

The pet rock is to throw at those who insist that they're a woman even after they correct them

Sleeps the whole day and is awake during the whole night

Immortal, queer, sleeps during the day... Are they a vampire?!

Randomly dresses up fancy and stays on that fit for the whole day, they can be seen wearing a suit during missions in breeze

Spends all their time awake doing unproductive stuff

Vyse

Was a physicist and later got into engeneering

She can't really remember those last years before the scions took her

Was took by the scions by Omen but none of them know

Doesn't like Iso

Her and Viper used to be very close friends, their friendship cou be compared to Jett and Phoenix's, they were very spontaneous

The "incident" was something involving her but no one really remember how it was

Ace

Had a cat named Jaguar

[soombee]

🫂 ｡ﾟ⊹ you’ve built a home in my heart — 15. who’s the bitch boy now?!

:: u got up at 2 am to get some snacks at the convenience store down the street. for your inconvenience, you quietly opened the door to meet a peculiar sight, someone trying to sleep on the floor across the hallway because their roommate has their gf over .. ?

warnings ⚠️ none, sappy shit </3

word count ‼️: 0.8k / 815 words

hai its been a long time ……. ( •̥ ̫ •̥ )

outside apartment complex, 5:38 pm

you stood outside the apartment building, waiting for your handsome date. you were excited, your heart beating out of your chest, your palms were extra sweaty, plus you couldn’t help but fidget with your fingers, hands, lips, and anything you could play with to relieve your anxiety.

you saw a familiar car pull up in front of you, “what the hell” you whisper to yourself as niki rolls the window down, “hey pretty lady! are u gonna get in or what?”

“hi silly” you flash your smile at him, “are you gonna open the door for me or what?”

“why yes, of course, anything for the princess of ansan, south korea” he says with a tinge of sarcasm in his voice as he makes his way to the passenger door, “and the queen of my heart.”

“shut the fuck up, riki” you accidentally hit his shoulder, “thank you” you kiss his cheek, feeling bad for the accident

when riki got in the car, you questioned him, curiosity took over you. “hey, isn’t this jay’s-“ he cut you off

“yes, it is, but it’s also mine” he kept his eyes on the road, “he gave me a safety key so i think he knows that ive been driving it” he smiles.

(6:30 pm, almost there)

“where are we going?” you asked, hoping for a clear answer, “you’ve been driving for foreverrr”

“secret” he sure loves keeping secrets

“did i dress for the occasion?” showing off your beautiful sundress, surely this question would make him slip

“maybe” riki laughs, he knows what your antics were. “whatever you ask, i wont tell you”

“whyyy” you pinch his cheek, making sure to leave a mark on his smug face

“cause it’s a secret and i don’t want to ruin the surprise” he pinches your nose, “plus we’re already here”

“hm?” you look through the windshield, seeing a beautiful blue beach, the water slowly running low on shore. its bright blue color like a cloudless sky

“ohmygod, it’s so pretty” you exclaim, not even hiding your excitement from riki

“just like you” he winks and gives you a lightskin stare while you just stare at him blankly, “okay nevermind then.”

“omg dude wait, i dont even have a swimsuit” you cup his cute face, his cheeks were so squishy and bouncy

“dont worry abt that, i already bought you one” he grins, you were concerned on what he bought you. “anyway, let’s go inside”

you followed riki as he led you towards the gorgeous beachside restaurant. the sound of waves crashing against the shore filled the air, and the salty breeze tousled your hair. It felt perfect — too perfect almost, like something out of a movie. u hadn’t felt this excited and anxious at the same time in forever.

"come on, baby," he teased, giving you a mischievous grin as he opened the door to the restaurant

the interior is gorgeous, so homey and beautiful. fairy lights adorned the ceiling, casting a warm glow over the space. You two went outside, the beach was the perfect backdrop for your romantic date. He led you to a small table, already set with dinner—candles, a carefully laid-out platter of food, and all.

"riki, this is beautiful" you pouted, eyes wide in awe, “u did all of this?!!”

"well, jay lowkey helped a little," he admitted sheepishly, "but it was mostly me! and konon.."

you shook your head, a huge smile spreading across your face. "you know, for someone who jokes around a lot, you can be pretty romantic."

“pssshhhh,” he shrugged, pretending to brush it off, but you could tell he was proud. “you bring out the best in me, yn”

riki guided you to your seat and pulled it out for you. "my lady," he said with exaggerated politeness.

"why thank you, kind sir," you played along, feeling your heart swell with appreciation.

as you sat down, riki reached into his bag and pulled out a swimsuit. you couldn’t help but burst into laughter when you saw it—it was a pink two-piece with his face all over it!

"oh my god riki," you chuckled, holding it up. "really?"

"it’s cute!" he defended, but his grin told you he knew exactly what he was doing

"fine, fine," you sighed, still laughing. "i’ll wear it. but if I look ridiculous, you owe me."

"you could never look ridiculous," he replied smoothly, his gaze softening as he looked at you

you both sat in silence for a moment, the atmosphere suddenly shifting to something more serious, more intimate. the waves, the soft lights, his sweet gesture—it all felt so magical

"thank you, baby," you said softly, reaching for his face across the table. "this means a lot to me”

he put his hands over yours gently, his usual playful demeanor momentarily gone, “you mean a lot to me”

☆ prev || m.list || next — ♡

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ xtras over here !!

taglist (open) !! @aernx @alicesolengg @beomgyusonlywife @yourmyst4r @j-wyoung @yumilovesloona @astrae4 @mrowwww @chaechae-23

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA FOR KISSING MY ROOMMATE GOODNIGHT?

(everyone is in their 20s. names are fake)

I’d like to start off by giving background, I(M) live with my roommate Salt. We’ve been living together for a couple of years now and met through mutual friends.

I’m straight. Salt is gay in a very open, stereotypical sense(yk flamboyant, effeminate etc) and I’m not saying this to judge him/say I resent him or something he’s a dear friend of mine and I couldn’t care less abt his sexuality or how he chooses to express himself. However it’s important to mention this for the sake of AITA

The actual ‘issue’ started a year ago, where we were both drunk coming home from a party, I was struggling to get my keys out so he called me a idiot and then just.. kissed me??

That caused me to question my sexuality for a while because being a straight man you’d think I’d be repulsed or bothered by it but no I didn’t really enjoy it(not like there was smth to enjoy it was like a couple of seconds) but didn’t really mind it either in fact it didn’t made me feel any different than how I’d feel kissing a random girl I suppose?

So yeah I experimented with my sexuality for a week or so and even almost hooked up with some guy but nope. Still straight. Just didn’t mind him(probably because of how close we are)

Anyways back to the point after that Salt avoided me for a while but in the end we did have a talk which was basically him saying he was not attracted to me, how it was a spur of the moment thing and also apologizing if he made me uncomfortable.

To that I told him he did not and joked about how he could do it again.

Fast forward a month(?) later the “kissing the homies goodnight” meme came out, so one time I asked him where was my goodnight kiss was at and he actually did it, after that we just continued doing that ig I don’t think none of us thought much of it other than some night time ritual.

Here comes the actual AITA part, I recently got a girlfriend(we’ll call her Pepper). I’ts not like I’m super in love with her but she’s a nice girl and I genuinely like her so I wish to keep her happy.

The issue with Pepper is that she talks a tad bit too much, I normally wouldn’t mind it as I’m on the quiet part, but she expects me to memorize everything she has told me(not in the “do you remember my friend” type of way in the she tells me about 10 different people and gets upset when I don’t remember their exes names or what did friend7 did on lunch a month ago type of way) she also has a tendency to hyperfixate on shows and talk about the plot & characters as if they’re actual real people which makes it hard for me to understand if something she says is about a show or real. She gets really upset if I forget even the smallest things about those stories and rants about how I never listen to her. I tried talking to her about this but it only ends with her crying so I just keep shut to keep her satisfied

A week ago I was having a really bad day of migraines and nothing seemed to help but me and Pepper had made plans to hang in my place and I didn’t want to cancel. She comes over and starts talking about her sister in life’s brunch. I ask her if she could slow down a bit cause my head hurts and I can’t really keep up.

Well she takes it the wrong way and starts yelling at me about how I always am like this and how I never listen to her. I admit I’m the asshole for saying this, but I ask her if she’s unable to sit down and have a conversation like an adult. This makes her calm down a bit and she sits down so we can discuss.

I try explaining to her how it’s unfair how she expects me to remember everything and I’d be more than happy to listen to her, maybe just slow down a bit?

In mid of it she has this weird smile on her face and tells me I look hot mad, she then leans over to kiss me which I pull away from because it feels like she’s just trying to change a topic and I think this is an important convo for our relationship.

This is the moment Salt decides to arrive at home(I should also mention he’s TERRIBLE at reading the room) he comes over gives me my goodnight kiss and leaves.

(I would like to add its not like we make out or something. He just gives me a peck on the lips, says goodnight and leaves)

This drives Pepper crazy. She starts shouting at me on how I’d not kiss her but him? And that I could go ride his dick if I’m that gay for him. She storms out of the apartment

I’d like to add that Pepper has never said anything about me and Salt. I never told her about the goodnight kiss(Because I mean who goes to their girlfriend like “hey btw I kiss my roommate at nights. but no homo”?) but we never hide it either in fact I’m pretty sure we did that while she was in room once or twice too. Pepper has made jokes about us being gay and how she feels bad about getting inbetween us but never anything on being uncomfortable or not liking it.

Now it’s been a week and we haven’t talked since. She is not answering my messages and I stopped trying to contact her from there but I’m starting to doubt myself, am I the asshole here? Should I go apologize?

What are these acronyms?

[dumplingsfordays]

modern au - roommate hcs !

ft. Kazuha, Scara, Xiao, Zhongli, Diluc, Albedo

I'm backk~

I haven't wrote in a little bit so I'm sorry 😭

Anyways this is a random idea I had, idk how well my thoughts are gonna translate into words but we'll see ig

Also idk if you need a warning for this but Diluc's has a mention of man titties so... do what you want with that ig

Reader's gender not specified, and this is not proofread!! Apologies for any mistakes, feel free to message me and I'll fix them :)

Image credit!

But as always, thank you for reading <3

++++

kazuha

- omg this man 😭😭 he is (imo) the best roommate you could ever have.

- he'd probably be super nice when you two first meet and stay that way!!

- he wakes up at a fairly good time too, and if he knows that you're sleeping, he'll try to be as quiet as possible.

- he does his share (and often a little more, if he has time) of the chores consistently.

- kazuha even follows a schedule on when to do certain stuff - he writes it down in a calendar in the kitchen

- he does like to cook when he has some free time, and they don't always turn out amazing but the smell will have your mouth watering.

- his room is super neat!! It's very aesthetic and a little minimalistic, but not overwhelmingly so.

- and it's always clean!!!!!

- he mostly hangs around either in his room or the living room on a couch. Sometimes he'll come into your room, but he always knocks!

- he respects your privacy too 😍 this man is a treasure, treat him well

- he doesn't mind hanging out with you!! If you're into makeup, he actually likes to go makeup shopping with you and just chill while you pick out some stuff :)

- everyone thinks you're partners when you guys hang out, but kazuha doesn't seem to mind 🤭

scara (sorry it's a bit short, never rlly written anything abt him before 😭😭)

- he's a little turd but you still like him, and he gets confused because why haven't you moved out yet????

- he probably spends like 80% of his time away from the house (apartment? wherever you guys live basically), but he still manages to do his chores on time

- HIS EYELINER SKILLS. IK THIS IS A LITTLE IRRELEVANT BUT THEYRE SO GOOD OMFG

- anyways, he really likes watching movies super late at night, so when you join him 20 minutes in with popcorn, it's sort of a bonding time for you two

- he doesn't cook, so he orders takeout a lot... and what really surprised you is that after a week or so of living together, he started to order for both of you because "you were whiny that I didn't get you anything"

- (he actually does it bc he's trying to say thanks for putting up with him :))

- he goes to bed super late and wakes up super late. You have to deal with this by not making ANY noise when you do stuff in the morning or he will be very grumpy for like 2 days (you learned this the hard way 😭)

- on days when he's friendlier, he'll bring you stuff like plushies when he gets back. He'll say that Yae or Yoimiya asked him to give these to you, but you doubt that those two gave you twelve stuffed animals in the span of a month.

xiao (another short one 😭 just like his height)

- I mean... He's okay?? He just sits in his room a lot and I headcanon that he's kinda sorta a gamer so

- he doesn't mind doing chores for you if you can't, but he'll do them a little late because he's like that

- this man SIMPS for Chinese food, like I'm not joking. He doesn't know how to make it, but before moving in w you he searched up Chinese restaurants and that's one of the reasons he moved in lmao

- you guys don't really see much of each other a lot... but you always, always go on grocery trips together. Why? Because he seems to consistently forget the shopping list that you wrote down for him at home, on the kitchen counter, and if you go shopping for him, he complains that you didnt get the things he asked for (but he doesn't write you lists 👀)

- he does have his sweet moments too. If you play videogames, he'll play with you if it's multiplayer. If it's not - no worries, you'll both play it, sitting side-by-side.

- if you're not into videogames though, he does like learning stuff, especially from you. He thinks that you're a good teacher, and even if it's you teaching him how to make coffee (because he doesn't know and wants to learn), he'll keep persevering through it just for you.

- oh boy. Room time.

- his room isn't that bad, if you can look past the giant pile of Monster cans in a trashcan below his desk. It's often dark, with the blinds down, and if you're walking down the hallway, there's a 90% chance that you'll see green led lights shining through the gap beneath his door.

- speaking of his door, it's covered in those signs that say stuff like 'warning! no stupid people beyond this point' or 'dont touch me until I've had my morning Monster'. If you couldn't tell yet, he's obsessed with Monster.

- he streams on twitch, and he's pretty popular, so you'll hear screams of disappointment coming from his room quite often.

- but one sight that you'll never forget is when you went to bring him apple slices (did I mention that he likes apples??), you opened the door to him standing in front of his monitor in a maid dress 😭. According to him, this was a dare that his viewers had him do, and that you better not mention this to anyone!!

- he was so red when he was explaining it though 🤭🤭 you, being the kind soul that you are, swore on your heart to keep it a secret :)

zhongli

- omfg you KNOW this man likes having meals with you. That's such a random thought but hear me out.

- when you eat, he eats with you at the table. Even if you made something only for yourself, he'll whip something up for him and eat with you.

- ANYways he likes to save money so much that his room only consists of a mattress on the floor, a coffee table for a desk, a beanbag in the corner, and a bookshelf that is practically overflowing with books. You take pity on him, of course, and buy him another bookshelf, which he now treasures :)

- probably has a lot of plants around the house/apartment, and he takes care of them as if they were his children. There isn't a day when there isn't a bouquet of flowers sitting on the dinner table.

- if you're allergic to pollen, though, he'll make sure to buy plants, not flowers, like China Dolls or aloe vera or cactuses, whichever you like best 🤭

- he LOVES reading!! Whenever you come downstairs, you'll see him reading, and if you're interested, he'll recommend it or books like it. He does wear reading glasses and he looks really hot in them but don't tell him I said that

- he probably takes forty-minute showers, and the shower is chock-full of hair products. 2-in-1 shampoo?? Zhongli's never heard of it. He may be (nearly) broke, but he takes care of his hair.

- tbh I think he likes to bake bread. Idk if COVID is a thing in the modern au, but if it is, then he was probably one of the people that searched up 'how to make banana/sourdough bread' and fell in love with making it...

- I like to think that he has a nice and neat schedule for each day, and his sleep schedule specifically is so freakin amazing. He goes to sleep at around 9-10, and wakes up at 6am sharp 😭

diluc

- he also likes tea before bed (and any other time of day really). He loves the different scents of the tea and it calms him a lot, so be prepared for a ton of afternoon tea parties with him :D

- ok so we know that Diluc is super rich and stuff but let's just pretend that he roomed w you to save money-

- he works out. A lot. Usually in the morning and around 8pm, and he always goes to this super fancy private gym or whatever.

- and he KNOWS that you go 'ooga booga man titties' mode whenever you see his chest so that bastard is almost always shirtless

- "Diluc why are u shirtless??" "It's hot in here" "...it's like 65 degrees. How tf are you hot"

- no but he's nice though, don't get me wrong. He'll help you do stuff around the house that you can't and he always seems to be there to help. Can't reach something? Diluc's there. Can't open something because it's too heavy? Diluc's got you.

- he'll do chores, just not very well. Can't do the dishes manually at ALL, and if you do have a dishwasher (which he buys on the third day if you don't), he will fall to his knees and thank the gods.

- he has a 10-step skincare routine. His skin is flawless and you are a little jealous, but if you really want to use some of his products, he won't mind :)

- he can cook (but not desserts/pastries lmao). He's super good with the grill, if you want grilled meat or fish or veggies or anything, really. But if you don't want it grilled, he's just as happy to make it using another method!!

- super good at board games, he's especially amazing at monopoly. Nobody can beat him, and he's proud of it >:)

- you've never been in his room for some reason, but you expect that it's very modern and monochrome, with hints of red (obvi).

- he usually has kinda red eyes in the morning, though, and when you asked about it he said that he likes going for night drives, but you were a little suspicious

- you stayed awake one night and you could hear him exit, but no car noises 🤔 you still wonder on what's he's doing so late almost every single night...

- also speaking about cars, the neighbors are always shocked that there's a lamborghini parked outside of your residence (house, apt building, what have you) lmao

- they're always like "do you have a rich bf?? Who is he??" and you're like "nah he's just my roommate :D"

albedo

- this man!!! He's so big brain!!!

- he'll definitely help you with studying for literally anything. Computer science? He got you covered. Bio? Sign him up. Hell, even art? He's super good at it so he won't mind teaching you!

- but when I tell you that he consumes a lot of coffee, it's a LOT. Like 4-5 cups a day. You wonder how, and even if, he sleeps.

- he makes really good coffee too! He bought one of those super cool ones and the coffee he makes is legendary. No wonder he drinks it so often!!

- he barely eats simply because he has so much work, and you essentially have to force him to come downstairs. You make him eat lunch and dinner, and occasionally breakfast if he can. He's super grateful for it, because he sometimes doesn't realize his hunger until he sits down at the table and his stomach growls like a bear-

- he loves classical music, especially Debussy, and it's always playing in his room. You started warming up to it, actually, and now whenever you hear Debussy, you think of Albedo.

- speaking of his room, it's... kinda messy, actually. Think paper and pencils and eraser shavings everywhere. He does clean it up like two times a month, but the papers always reappear within a couple days.

- he really likes art, and he'll hang some of his faves around the house/apartment :) it honestly makes the whole space feel cozier

- does his chores VERY last-minute, but he feels bad about it. You always tell him that it's nothing to worry about, that he still does them, but he insists on trying his best to do them earlier, which you appreciate :D

- he actually uses you as an art reference sometimes, only if you're free for an hour though. He doesn't like paying for models to come in and pose so he saves money by asking you... or at least that's what he says 👀

- your main bonding time is when you go in his room (or vice-versa) and just chill. He likes your company more than he'd like to admit, and you sometimes catch him staring at you from across the room when you're laying on his barely-used bed.

++++

note : sorry if some characters are a little ooc 😭😭 I'm not too good at writing Diluc n Scara so... OH ALSO I would've included Ayato too but I feel like hes not really the type of person to room w someone (well bc he would def flaunt his wealth by buying a private mansion or smth)

[gothcsz]

Hi, big time fandom lurker here! For real I rarely pull up into people's inboxes, just out here on main aka in my office cube at work being secretly horny and occasionally telling my absolute favorites thank you so much for all you do. So I wanted to say the latest Unscripted Desire fucked me up so bad. I loved it. As you said, you really locked the fuck in bestie. Frankie in the Ghostface mask was the Halloween version of a Christmas miracle, so I guess just a Halloween miracle? Going to take me a second to recover from that. And really just everything about Javi. Him basically groveling but being still being Javi. I died when he said he's not popping a pill to get hard like out of principle or something and also not giving reader more out of principle, too. It is all so Javi coded! You write the BEST Javi and you're just an amazing writer in general, hope you know that, always so excited whenever you post anything.

Also, hopefully this is not annoying, but I would lowkey be remiss if I did not ask. Have you ever read Roommates by @punkshort? It is a pornstar!Joel series. I only point it out because I fully think you deserve a goddamn Pulitzer for best pornstar!Javi and she deserves one for best pornstar!Joel. No clue how that award works, but it should work that way. She mostly writes Joel so you two probably are not familiar with each other's game, BUT both UD and Roommates WIN pornstar trope in this fandom. Seriously. I would actually fight anyone who says otherwise. Nobody has done it better and I seriously doubt anyone can do it better than you two! I think pornstar!Frankie is still available for the taking though. ❤️

hey diva (gn) ! you're so real for the being horny at work bc like... same 😪 omg thank you so much what the hell !! this is so nice of you to say, i'm like doing backflips at my desk right now no joke !! i def understand the whole lurking thing, it can be kinda intimidating to interact but i finally pushed myself out of my own head and now here we are 🧍🏽‍♀️ DJHFJAKSDFHKASDF

please don't get me started on ghostface frankie bc i will slip into a tangent he's so hottttt it makes me want to peel my skin off. just picturing his voice saying the line... lord have mercy im bout to bust (rip leslie jordan) a HALLOWEEN MIRACLE INDEED! A TREAT IF YOU WILL!

dude i freaking love writing javi like his character is so interesting to me and honestly the type of character i gravitate to when it comes to writingggg and even then i still feel like i'm being a little too ooc sometimes so i have to brainwash myself with narcos clips lol arhghggh so happy to hear that you like my portrayal wtf you got me all flustered, gracias bebe i really appreciate it 😭 and that you're into my writing style too ughhhh on my knees for you rn 🖤

i really wish you guys could look into the dossiers i have in my brain abt this world (or any of my aus tbh) CAUSE LITERALLY OUT OF PRINCIPLE!! so much i could say but yes, we are on the same page.

not annoying and unfortunately i have not read that fic but now you've just given me something to binge this weekend so THANK YOUUU omg not the pppfu (pedro pascal pornstar fic universe) ikdr @punkshort i was unfamiliar with your game 🫦 and every other pornstar au out there we really out here in this subgenre killing it lol pleaseeee no fighting let's leave that to the fictional characters, we're lover girls (gn) out here.

but not seriously someone take one for the team and give us single father pornstar!frankie doing it to provide for his kid ofmgmfgmfmgf

(me to me when i ramble: we do not care)

[sparklecareforrealjustice]

well since ur mod barry... got anything to rant abt involving barry? how hes treated or written or w/e?

Oh, you have no idea. Barry is my favorite character in the whole comic (hence why I'm mod Barry) and recently I've been getting a lot more pissed off as to why exactly he's hated by the fanbase. One of the main reasons I see for hating Barry is "He's mean to Uni!" Now do keep in mind I'm not saying you HAVE to like him, but if you're going to hate a character at least have an understandable reason.

As for that lame "excuse" as to why he may be hated, I am gonna go out on a limb here and say that, if anyone had the right to be mean to Uni, it'd be Barry. Barry has schizophrenia and uses science to ground himself in reality, as stated many times. However, even after saying something about it, Uni still carelessly uses her magic around him knowing how he's going to react negatively to it, and he has every right to be upset that his well-being is being ignored by someone who he's supposedly close to.

Let me put it into perspective on how frustrating this is. Let's say that you have a roommate, and you're really sensitive to loud music due to a disorder you may have. But your roommate loves loud music. So, one time you react negatively to your roommate blaring loud music, and you say something about it. Your roommate nods and tells you that they'll try to avoid listening to loud music around you. And then for the next month, they keep blaring loud music. You react negatively again, only for your roommate's friends to gang up on you and tell you that YOU'RE in the wrong because you can't handle something as small as loud music.

This, as I just described, is basically what Barry deals with. He is shamed by both the readers of the comic, as well as characters in the comic, for not being able to handle magic. Which, if you're aware, is lowkey ableist. They expect him to just be able to get up and brush it off, which is hard to do when it's affecting how you think and how you see things. But the fans don't think about it. It's always "poor, poor Uni uwu cinnamon roll". Keep in mind I'm not saying "Oh Uni can't use magic EVER!!!", I'm saying that she needs to be more mindful about her surroundings and who she's around, especially if she has feelings for Barry. The last thing she'd want to do is have him be upset with her in that case.

Aside from that, I also want to bring up the fact that KC made him look even worse than he already did by making him sexually harass Polly. Which, you know, is EXTREMELY out of character for someone who doesn't even like being touched. He'd know that colder properties carry more bacteria and that being around Polly could be a death sentence, but of course he oh so conveniently forgets common fucking science!! Realistically he'd be avoiding Polly like the fucking plague.

For Barry supposedly being a self-insert, KC is very ignorant when it comes to writing for Barry, especially since she kitself has schizophrenia. Out of all the people to know what it's like to have your needs flat-out ignored and ridiculed, it'd be her. But she makes it a joke in this stupid ass comic, as well as things like sexual harassment. This comic is a fucking embarrassing excuse for writing, especially something as serious as delusions and mental illness -🧪

[frecht]

i tried reading this story my friend and i wrote to some of my roommates and i knowwww no one will ever find it as funny as molly and i do just because. they didn't write it. they havent spent 10 years rereading it. they arent going to notice the tiny jokes like how "just as i got to the highest point of my reverie" shows up in every chapter. but like it goes so completely off the rails that i'd imagine it's hard not to go HUH???? at every couple of sentences but like none of them were paying attention at all even though i'd said multiple times i really wanted to share this bc i've been remembering it and getting a lot of joy out of it lately and throughout the third chapter (arguably the most insane) i got like maybe 3 reactions (we were all physically in the same room and i was not quiet or anything) because they were all doing other things. one of them was doing hw but the other two weren't and i know it's kinda dumb but it did make me a little annoyed. kind of a lot annoyed actually. now that i think about it. i don't really talk a lot about the things i like unprompted because it's usually lots of little things (like i love books and i mostly read standalones so talking books with me is often talking lots of different books and i understand that it's harder to follow than a conversation about one tv show for example) and i don't have a lot of interests in common with most of them but this was something that i care about and i just wish that theyd like. at least made an effort to listen like i know it's a really dumb story (that's kind of the point) and it's really weird and insane in some rather unpalatable ways (i can direct you to where we posted it on wattpad this year if you would like to read it) but like if they didnt want me to keep reading id have rather they said that or if they did id have rather they kept listening. and either would be better than just the nothing that i got. i texted my best friend who i wrote it with abt this as well but they're not a quick text replier and i don't like talking over text anyway so i have to get it out here.