#because jesus too was chosen by god right but chosen to DIE

[caluette]

gethsemane

[katakaluptastrophy]

So, it's the last days and a weird-looking guy called John is yelling about the end of the world.

AKA, it's Advent and we've reached the stage of Alectopause where I'm apparently writing Bible studies for the weird goth teens that hang out in graveyards... So let's talk about portentious guys called John and why a nun might have joined a necromancy cult.

Anyway, you know Advent, the cheerful and cozy time when we all think about cute baby Jesus as we get ready for Christmas, right?

WRONG

It's currently the second Sunday of Advent, and in lots of churches that follow the liturgical year, people will have been hearing about John the Baptist today (Me: "John". My phone: "Gaius?". Me: "John the-". My phone: "Necromancer?").

Without going into too much detail, John the Baptist is important because he's a prophet that points to the coming of Jesus. He first does this rather impressively in utero, but is probably best known for wandering the wilderness wearing camel hide and eating locusts, shouting about how the end is nigh and, hence the name, baptising people to cleanse them from their sins. People are pretty impressed by all this and start asking him if he is the promised messiah or one of the great prophets come again. He answers no, his job is to point towards one greater than him. He baptises Jesus, the heavens open, and not long afterwards John annoys the authorities and ends up with his head on an ornamental platter.

Now John the Baptist obviously isn't the main Biblical John evoked by John Gaius. That dubious honour probably goes to the beloved disciple John the Apostle, also known for The Gospel According To and The Apocalypse Of, aka the Book of Revelation, the Bible's account of the end of the world.

But John the Baptist (no, autocorrect, not "John the Necromancer") is relevant too, and not just because he's a guy called John, chosen by a higher power to lay the groundwork for better things to come and who falls afoul of the authorities with dramatic consequences.

Let's cycle back round to Advent for a moment. The reason Advent can both be aww cute little baby Jesus and also WHERE ARE YOU GOING WHEN YOU DIE?! is because in Christian theology, Jesus' birth and the end of the world are linked: the first and the second coming of Christ.

In Nona The Ninth, we learn that John and his friends are living in a world on the edge. Without some incredible plan - the cryo ships, the promise of FTL - everyone is going to die. Humanity has rendered the world uninhabitable. Although we get very few details of the broader geopolitical situation, we have to assume it's one rife with natural disasters and conflict.

In the Bible, Jesus talks about a world with famines and earthquakes, wars and rumours of wars, where to find yourself in those days with children would be a tragedy and to be pregnant even worse (maternity problem, anyone?). Specifically, this is when he talks about the signs of the end of the world and his second coming.

So what about M-'s nun? The first time we meet her is when she's advising John against his all-day Jesus Christ Superstar healing ministry.

And John's anxiety about meeting her is pretty apt. He says: "I was worried I was going to get the Antichrist bit from her too". Note the "too" - by this point, John has already been accused of being the Antichrist. Why? Because alongside those rumours of wars and earthquakes, Jesus gives another sign to watch out for: false prophets.

But M-'s nun saw John and his powers and - for reasons we never learn - believed they were miraculous, a gift from God. She appealed to the Vatican to investigate and recognise this. And her presence and this campaign apparently made a significant impact in reducing some of the issues they were facing. Somehow, she met awful, smarmy John and his corpse buddies and thought she was seeing the hand of God miraculously at work in the last days.

This bears repeating, because I've seen suggestions that she believed he was God, or was somehow converted to the cause of necromancy, but at least by John's narrative it's much simpler than that: right to the end she's praying for him in very Catholic terms to find clarity in his purpose.

This is the last we see of her:

She just smiled at me. She said, John, don’t misunderstand. I want to help you. I truly believe that in our most terrible hours we don’t instinctively reach out to God; we push ourselves away from Him. Don’t feel bad for not rising heroically to the occasion right now. Fear doesn’t help us achieve a state of grace; it deafens the heart. John, I truly believe you can save everyone. So concentrate, please. She said, Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death. And she shot herself.

While obviously you are probably not walking a straightforwardly orthodox path if you're shooting yourself to help the leader of a self-proclaimed necromancy cult locate the soul, her language here is very focused on the Catholic understanding of sin and death. A "state of grace" refers to the condition of your soul when it's not burdened with serious sins. It's the state you're in after you're baptised or after you've been to confession. Being in a state of grace is one's soul being on a wavelength with God; it's the necessary state to enter heaven.

And the Hail Mary? Catholics believe that Mary has the power to intercede for them with God. And the most important moment at which she could intercede would be at the point of death where the state of your soul determines your eternal destination. This isn't a wacky necromancy cultist talking. I suspect she sees this less as a suicide (which the Catholic Church has historically not had the most nuanced views on...) than a fulfilment of Jesus' teaching to keep his commandments and that there is no greater love than to lay down your life for your friends.

We're not privy to exactly what she thought, and I don't think anyone's suggesting her approach was entirely orthodox, but if he's not the Second Coming, and he's not the Antichrist, and there are wars and rumours of wars and floods and earthquakes...did she see him as a prophet of the apocalypse? A sort of John the Baptist of the end times, who in demonstrating the reality of the soul would bring people to Christ before He came again?

Unfortunately for M-'s nun, John was not what she fervently believed him to be. And unlike John the Baptist, who said no when asked if he was something he was not, John used M-'s nun's death as a springboard to claim the trappings of both divinity and Catholicism for himself.

Unfortunately for John, judgement is coming in the form of an angry teenager Harrowing Hell and the very power he usurped, armed with a very big sword.

[fatkish]

Funny (y/n) x MHA pt 3

(Y/n): *points finger guns at Aizawa* I’ma play your butt like bongos

Aizawa: No you most certainly will not

(Y/n): aww… but you have such a nice one

——————————————————————————

Midnight: Nothing in life is free.

(Y/n): Love is free.

Aizawa: Knowledge is free.

All Might: Friendship is free.

Nedzu: Self-respect is free.

Hizashi: Everything's free if you don't pay for it.

The Squad: ...

Aizawa: Hizashi, that's illegal-

Midnight: No, let them finish!

——————————————————————————

(Y/n): All Might is too tall for me to kiss them on the lips. What should I do?

Hizashi: Punch them in the stomach. Then, when they double over in pain, kiss them.

Nedzu: Tackle them!

Aizawa: Dump them.

Midnight: Kick them in the shin!

All Might: No to all of those! Just ask me to lean down!!

——————————————————————————

(Y/n): Make her pussy wet not her eyes.

Midnight: Make his dick hard not his life.

Hizashi: Break her bed not her heart.

Aizawa: Play with her boobs not her feelings.

(Y/n): Get on his dick not his nerves.

All Might: Always salt your pasta while boiling it.

——————————————————————————

All Might: If I fall…

Midnight: I’ll be there to catch you.

Aizawa: *looks at Hizashi* What if I fall?

Hizashi: Then I’ll fall with you, never leaving your side.

(Y/n): *watches these two interactions*

(Y/n), to Nedzu: And if I fall?

Nedzu: I’ll be the one who pushed you.

——————————————————————————

(Y/n): If you bite it and you die, it's poisonous. If it bites you and you die, it's venomous.

Nedzu: What if it bites me and it dies?!

(Y/n): Then you're poisonous. Jesus Christ, Nedzu, learn to listen.

All Might: What if it bites itself and I die?

(Y/n): That's voodoo.

Hizashi: What if it bites me and someone else dies?

(Y/n): That's correlation, not causation.

Aizawa: What if we bite each other and neither of us die?

(Y/n): That's kinky.

Midnight: Oh my god.

——————————————————————————

*The squad is asked what they would do with 5 children with only 3 chairs.*

All Might: Get two more chairs!

Hizashi: They can get their own chairs.

Midnight: Make them fight for it.

(Y/n): You only need one chair to beat them all with.

Aizawa: I would never be near children.

Nedzu: Kill two.

——————————————————————————

*The squad's reaction to being told they're the chosen one*

(Y/n): I will not let you down.

All Might: Sounds fun.

Hizashi: K.

Aizawa: No, I'm fucking not.

Midnight: Do I have to be?

Nedzu: Please god, I am so tired.

——————————————————————————

(Y/n) : You look good in that hoodie.

Aizawa: You know where else I'd look good?

(Y/n), zero hesitation: My bed.

Aizawa, at the same time: By your side- wait, what?

——————————————————————————

Aizawa: It doesn’t have a bone.

(Y/n) : Then why is it called a boner?

——————————————————————————

(Y/n) : *banging a pen on the table out of frustration*

Aizawa: Stop that. How would YOU feel if I banged you on the table?

(Y/n) : I—

(Y/n) : I don’t know the correct answer to that question.

——————————————————————————

(Y/n) : Wait, what's going on? Are we all talking about how hot Aizawa is? Because Aizawa is a straight up sexual fox riding a red-hot nuclear bombshell right toward the yowza plaza in the heart of Babe City, Assachusetts, U S A. The last A just stands for more ass.

[endofradio]

PROVE MY LOVE

WARNINGS: NSFW (but like… it’s 🌽 with feeling. they start smashing towards the end 💀)

RELATIONSHIP: FRANK / ORIGINAL CHARACTER (SYLVIE)

NOTES: this is a draft of a scene i’ve got planned for a future fic! i’ll probably be posting more drafts along the way because this is fun tbh. also, this scene takes place in frank’s apartment.

SUMMARY: frustrated by the fact sylvie seems to be questioning his reasons for saving her life, frank decides to tell her — and show her — how he really feels about her.

WORD COUNT: 4,032 (yeah it’s long)

TAGS: @reclaimedbythesea @creelmalfoylaufeyson69 @blackwolfstabs @shawsfinalgirl @atcarpenter

likes, reblogs, and comments are appreciated! helps keep me motivated <3

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“Why are you being so nice to me?” Sylvie asked the question carefully, a sense of confusion flickering in her gaze. “Why did you choose to save my life? You… you tried to kill me, and now…”

As she looked up at Frank, she could see him look away from her for a moment. When he looked back at her, his already-cold gaze had hardened. “Well, I suppose I had a change of heart, huh?” He shot back, a bitter smile curling at his lips. “Sure, maybe I hurt you, and I am a piece of shit, but… did you really think I was gonna let you just fuckin’ die like that?” He was getting closer to her now, practically staring into her goddamn soul.

Sylvie swallowed nervously, taking a couple steps backward. “You tried. To fucking. Kill me.” She repeated, stopping at every couple of words to let them sink in. “You could’ve just let me die, but you didn’t. Why?”

Why? That question repeated over and over again in Frank’s mind. He could feel the wall he had built around himself slowly crumbling. He couldn’t be vulnerable. Vulnerability was a weakness. Yet, this woman standing in front of him was fucking breaking him. There was a much deeper reason he had chosen to save her besides “having a change of heart,” but of course he wasn’t going to fucking admit that, not yet. Trying to mask his emotional turmoil was only proving to be becoming significantly more difficult for him right now.

So, Frank just shook his head and let out a bitter chuckle. “You really don’t fuckin’ get it, do you?” He snidely asked, taking a step closer towards Sylvie. He let out a bitter scoff. “God, you really are a stubborn little brat, aren’t you?” Yeah, he was being an asshole right now, but it was just a front. He was desperately trying to hold back from just fucking saying it.

“What is there to get?” Sylvie questioned, narrowing her eyes at Frank. As for her, she was experiencing her own tumultuous whirlwind of emotions and thoughts.

“What is there to— oh, Jesus. If only you fuckin’ knew what goes on inside my goddamn head.” Frank knew he wouldn’t be able to hold back for much longer. Jesus Christ, he needed her to understand. When he looked at Sylvie, she seemed only more confused, and it was pissing him off. He continued to walk towards her as she backed away from him, until her back was nearly pressed against the kitchen counter. He could tell she was getting nervous. Afraid, even. The idea was almost physically painful to Frank.

“You have no clue, no fuckin’ clue what you put me through.” Frank hissed, his eyes narrowing. “Wouldn’t you just love to know?”

“Yeah, I would like to know.” Sylvie answered, her voice dropping to a near-whisper. Frank picked up on the way her breathing was quickening, how her heart rate was accelerating ever so slightly… why was she so afraid? Yeah, perhaps he knew he was scaring her, but he couldn’t help it. He was a jackass. She was occasionally avoiding eye contact with him, her eyes darting in different directions. Frank couldn’t handle it.

Maybe a little too roughly, he reached to grab Sylvie’s chin, tilting it so she was looking directly at him. “You truly, truly piss me off sometimes, you know that?” He asked, his voice lowering. “You make me confused. One second, I wanna just… I don’t know, snap at you. Taunt you. Get under your skin as I usually do.”

Frank paused for a moment, allowing his words to sink in. Then, he continued.

“But then, I…” His eyes briefly flickered down to Sylvie’s lips. Shit. He looked back into her eyes, suddenly feeling as though he couldn’t speak. “I… wanna kiss you until you can’t. Fuckin’. Breathe. Until all you can think about is me. Until you forget your own goddamn name. Until…” Frank tried to shake the thoughts out of his head, but they were just spilling out of his mouth. Now, all he could think about was kissing her, tasting her. Snap out of it already!

He looked away from her for a moment, tightly shutting his eyes. Even then, the thoughts only persisted, getting stronger with each second. He just wanted to have his hands all over her.

Frank tightened his grip on Sylvie’s chin just a little, and when he looked at her… god, the way she was looking at him, with her soft, brown eyes all wide, and… was that a tear glistening in her left eye? Why did she look beautiful like this? Fucking hell, he was fighting demons.

“How do you feel about me?” He then harshly asked. “Don’t lie, either. I’ll know if you are.”

Sylvie drew in a deep, unsteady breath. How the hell was she supposed to answer that question? It wasn’t an easy one. She didn’t know how to phrase what she was feeling, what she was thinking. She didn’t know what the fuck to say.

“Answer me.” Frank hissed through gritted teeth. Part of him felt guilty for acting like this, but he just couldn’t help it. He was just… frustrated.

“I don’t… I don’t know…” Sylvie weakly whispered. “I mean, I… I feel like you…”

“Like I what?”

“Like you only want to use me.”

Frank rolled his eyes and stepped away from Sylvie, taking a deep breath. He began to pace around the kitchen like a caged animal, running his hands through his hair. He knew he was an asshole, but for some reason he couldn’t handle Sylvie thinking of him as that much of an asshole. He had tried to push down his feelings for her, tried to seem like he didn’t care. Now, Sylvie was truly under the impression that Frank didn’t give a shit about her, and for some reason… he didn’t like that.

“You seriously fuckin’ think that?” He asked, before approaching Sylvie again. He placed both hands on either side of the kitchen counter, trapping her. “I mean, sure. Maybe I am a heartless bastard, but… fuck. You’re so goddamn oblivious.”

“What…?” Sylvie’s eyes were glazing over with tears even more. Fuck. “What are you… trying to say?”

Frank could feel his heart pounding in his chest, his breathing getting faster. He was desperately clinging onto the self-control that he did have.

“You drive me fuckin’ crazy. I hope you realize that.” He whispered, a sardonic half-smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. “You make me feel like I’m about to lose my goddamn mind. You’re… you’re like a fuckin’ parasite.”

Sylvie could feel her breath getting caught in her throat. Wait… so did he feel the same way she did? She thought he didn’t, she thought her feelings were completely one-sided. He had drained her of so much blood and could’ve just left her to die, but… he didn’t. All her life, Sylvie had never experienced even just a little bit of compassion that was directed at her. Of course she was in denial. Coming from someone like Frank, it was even more difficult to comprehend.

Frank got even closer to Sylvie, their faces now inches apart from each other. He could feel her warm breath and the fiery tension that was crackling in the air.

“What am I… to you?” Sylvie quietly asked.

That question just about did it for Frank. As irritation built up within him along with a flaming desire, he swiftly reached to grab her face, claiming Sylvie’s lips in a kiss that was full of both frustration and passion. She was caught off-guard by the suddenness of the kiss, her eyes widening for a moment as her breath hitched. Then, she slowly relaxed into it, her eyes gently fluttering shut.

The kiss was slow at first, but as Frank felt his self-control slipping further, it became more intense. He moved a hand away from Sylvie’s face to grab at her waist, suddenly feeling a surge of possessiveness. He felt her reaching to touch his face, and that really sent him over the edge. Frank frantically began to place kisses along Sylvie’s jawline, down her neck… and then he swiftly lifted her up, placing her on top of the kitchen counter. That was when he realized just how small she really was in comparison to him — he was nearly a foot taller than her.

Frank’s lips met Sylvie’s again, and his hands were practically all over her as he urgently deepened the kiss. He could feel her slowly melting into him and letting go, and it was only adding fuel to the fire. The way she wrapped her arms around his neck, combing her fingers through his hair… it was the kind of thing Frank only thought he could dream about. This was different from the first and only other time they had done something like this — there was passion, genuine passion. Frank’s mind started to wander to that particular moment. He could just hear Sylvie quietly whimpering his real name, how good it sounded. He couldn’t get the image out of his head of the way Sylvie had looked underneath him with her cheeks all flushed… and the way she looked when she had been on top of him— alright, Frank. That’s enough. That can all happen again later.

“Why do you let me… do this…?” Frank quietly asked in between kisses. “Y’know I’m not… good for you…”

Sylvie’s heart was beating out of her chest. She just wanted to say those three words that she’d been trying to hold back from saying… but she couldn’t. Part of her was scared to, still afraid that Frank didn’t really feel the same way and only felt lust for her, nothing else. She had lived a miserable life of rejection.

“I… I know…” She whispered, her breath shaking.

“You just can’t… pull away, huh? You’re just… wrapped around my finger… aren’t you?”

“M… mhm…”

Frank smirked a little against Sylvie’s lips. “That’s what I thought… you’ve got me wrapped around yours, too.”

He started roughly kissing her again. He just couldn’t keep his hands or his mouth off of her — she was like a drug to him. He pushed Sylvie’s shirt up just a little, just so he could feel her skin, and the sensation of Frank’s cold hand on her bare waist was sending chills down her spine, and her breath hitched just a bit.

“You remember that… one time we slept together?” Frank murmured, his kisses now trailing down to Sylvie’s neck again, specifically the side where the scarred-over bite wound was — the one he had inflicted. The realization gave him another surge of possessiveness. The scar was a reminder — a reminder of how Sylvie belonged to him.

“I didn’t want that to end.” Frank quietly continued, his hands continuing to gently caress her body. “I was… disappointed… when I woke up and… and you weren’t there.”

“Really…?” Sylvie asked. As she felt Frank kissing her neck, she shivered just a bit. She couldn’t believe how good he was able to make her feel.

“I wanted that moment… to last forever…” Frank continued, murmuring against her neck. Slowly, his hand began to travel up Sylvie’s skirt, his fingers gently grazing her thigh. As he felt a sudden wave of desire come over him, Frank left a gentle bite on her neck. “You felt… so good…” His voice had started to get rougher, huskier.

Frank heard a small gasp from Sylvie, and he quickly moved his head away from her neck to look down at her. Quickly, he kissed her again, his hands roaming back to her waist and grabbing at it desperately.

Before Sylvie could even say anything, Frank lifted her up off of the kitchen counter. Being in his arms like this, so high above ground… it was making Sylvie’s heart race even more, perhaps from a combination of anxiety and also desire. With his newly-obtained abilities, Frank could easily pick up on any emotion Sylvie was feeling. If she was afraid, he could practically smell it — right now, he could. He looked up at her, brushing a dark strand of hair away from her face. On the other hand, he could also sense the desire she was feeling. It was only encouraging him.

“You’re afraid, aren’t you?”

Sylvie slowly nodded. “Afraid of heights, I guess.” She answered quietly. “You’re just… really tall.”

“No one’s ever done this to you before, huh?” Frank asked, a small smirk forming on his face. Sylvie shook her head in response. All of this that she had experienced with Frank — genuine passionate kissing, sex that made her actually feel something… she had never experienced it with anybody before, and to think it was her former worst enemy making her feel all of these things…

“Well, you’re not gonna fall.” Frank quietly spoke, before taking her lips in another deep kiss as he carried her off towards his bedroom.

Once they got to the bedroom, things became progressively more heated. They were on the bed within moments, Sylvie quickly straddling him as they roughly kissed once again. As they did, Sylvie felt Frank shift underneath her as he moved to unbutton his pants, before she heard the sound of him unzipping them. Moving his hands back to her body, Frank began to slowly move them down Sylvie’s slender form, before slipping a hand under her black lace skirt, sliding his hand slowly up her thigh, pausing once he had reached her panties. He let his hand linger there for a moment, before hooking his fingers around the waistband. With a slow, gradual movement, he pulled the material down to her legs. Sylvie finished the job for him, breaking the kiss and freeing herself of the fabric, tossing it on the floor. She adjusted her position, hovering above Frank’s undone pants just a little. She looked down for a moment before her gaze met Frank’s again.

By now, his hands had wandered to her hips, keeping a firm grip on them. He looked into her eyes, his own having darkened with desire. “Don’t keep me waitin’…” He whispered roughly, pulling Sylvie closer against him as he claimed her mouth in what was close to probably being the hundredth kiss of the night so far. He truly was just that desperate for her, especially right now.

Just as Sylvie was about to take things further, there was the sudden sound of thunder outside. Frank broke the kiss for a moment to smirk against her lips, looking up at her.

“Ever fucked to a thunderstorm?” He slyly asked. “It’s quite nice, really — makes it all the more… intense.”

Sylvie chuckled sheepishly. “No, I… I haven’t.”

“Well… would you like to know what it’s… like?”

Sylvie slowly nodded, and that was when Frank pulled her into yet another hungry kiss. She slowly lowered herself a little more, and with a single motion, rocked her hips just a little, gently brushing against Frank but not enough to completely take him in. The sensation was enough to cause her to quietly gasp against his lips.

As Frank’s tongue slipped into her mouth, Sylvie felt him suddenly press his hips upwards into her, and she let out another gasp. He gripped her hips again and slowly began to guide her into a gentle rhythm, thunder continuing to crackle outside.

Then, those three words slipped from Sylvie’s mouth. “I… I love you…” She quietly murmured against Frank’s lips.

The admission hit Frank full-force like a goddamn semi-truck. Part of him wanted to deny it, but the way she said it was so vulnerable.

“Say it… say it again.” Frank pleaded. “So I… know it’s… real.”

“I’m in… love with you… Adam…”

The way she said his name… goddamnit. It was making his stomach do somersaults. How the hell was he supposed to control himself now?

“You’re… you’re serious…” He murmured. Frank honestly hadn’t expected Sylvie to actually be in love with him. In his mind, he hadn’t done anything to deserve it. Hell, he didn’t even think he was capable of being loved by anybody. Choosing to save her was the only act of compassion he had ever displayed towards her, and part of him still wanted to question why he had done it.

“Love” normally meant nothing to Frank, but now that he had heard Sylvie say those words, he just wanted to hear them over and over and over again. He wanted to say he was in love with her too — because he most likely was — but that one emotionless, cold side of him couldn’t bring himself to admit it. The idea of actually loving somebody was terrifying to Frank — he only knew how to discard somebody and move on to the next. He had abandoned his family without a care in the world to dabble in the criminal life. How was he capable of being in love? He wasn’t a nice person. He wasn’t a good person. Yet, for some reason, he was now suddenly obsessed with the idea of Sylvie being in love with him.

“Why…?” Frank quietly asked. “You’re too… good for me.”

Sylvie reached to gently cup Frank’s face with her hands. “I don’t… care…” She whispered in response. “I can’t… stay away from you…”

“Why…?”

“You’re the… only person… who’s made me feel this way.”

Frank’s eyes widened at Sylvie’s words. “You’ve never…?” He couldn’t grasp the idea that he might’ve just been the only person Sylvie had ever loved.

Sylvie shook her head. “No…”

“We’re just a couple of fuck-ups, aren’t we?” Frank chuckled sardonically, planting another kiss to Sylvie’s lips. “You used to tell me to go fuck myself, y’know… now you love me?”

“Change of heart, I guess.” Sylvie responded half-mockingly, before wrapping her legs around Frank’s waist, trying to be even more physically close to him.

As the thunder outside intensified, Frank felt a sudden jolt of pleasure hit him, and he leaned back a bit, his head resting against the headboard of the bed, his eyes fluttering shut as his grip on Sylvie’s hips tightened even further. Sylvie took the opportunity to unzip Frank’s jacket, sliding it over his shoulders to reveal the white tank top he wore underneath. Then, she leaned forward and began to place feverish kisses along his neck and jawline, just as he had previously done to her. In response, he breathed a sigh of pleasure, giving Sylvie a sudden rush of confidence.

The sensation of Frank gently matching her rhythm underneath her caused Sylvie to feel a sudden shockwave of pleasure shoot throughout her body, and she threw her head back, gently closing her eyes in ecstasy as she let a quiet moan fall from her lips.

Following a sudden crash of thunder, Frank abruptly snapped his hips upwards, grabbing Sylvie’s hips impossibly tighter and pulling her further down onto him. She let out a yelp at the feeling, trying to keep herself stable by gripping onto the headboard with one hand, her other firmly placed on Frank’s chest. “Oh my god…” She whimpered as Frank guided her into a more urgent rhythm, the bed quietly creaking. “I… oh, Jesus…”

Sylvie’s breathing was slowly turning into panting, and she didn’t know how much longer she could continue at this point. Gasping and whimpering, she was slowly unraveling before Frank’s eyes.

Frank was desperately fighting the urge to just flip them over and show Sylvie just how much she really drove him insane. As he opened his eyes, he looked up at her with a wide-eyed gaze of adoration. The way her lips were parted, her eyes closed. Frank didn’t think he had ever seen something so beautiful, until now. It was an image he never wanted to get out of his head, and the sounds she made — they were heavenly.

That was when Frank decided he couldn’t take it anymore, and he quickly pushed Sylvie down onto the bed, quickly climbing on top of her as though he was a predator trying to capture its prey. Sylvie let out a slight gasp of surprise, and seeing the predatory gaze in Frank’s eyes was making her feel something… was it desire?

Without any hesitation, Frank quickly grabbed Sylvie’s chin, tilting it upwards as he began to hungrily kiss her. With his other hand, he firmly grabbed at her, pulling her as close to him as he could as he started deeply rocking his hips against hers. The whole time, he kept a tight grip on her waist, almost as though she’d disappear from him if he let go. Sylvie was so small, so fragile — Frank realized how easy it would be to just manhandle her.

“I love you…” Sylvie whispered against his lips. Now that she had said it once, she couldn’t stop saying it. “I can’t… I can’t get enough of you...”

Sylvie’s vulnerability was ripping Frank to shreds. She really did mean what she was saying, and he couldn’t believe it. Even though he was a piece of shit and had done nothing to earn anything from her, she still loved him. Honestly, he felt… bad for her. There were probably so many people who would be better for her, yet she chose him.

Frank’s kisses wandered down to Sylvie’s jawline, neck, collarbone… he was kissing her all over. Desperate to feel more of her skin against his lips, he quickly pulled her shirt over her head, admiring her body before trailing kisses down her chest. “Why me…?” He murmured against her skin.

“I’ve never… loved somebody before…” Sylvie quietly answered.

“Me neither…” Until Sylvie, but of course he couldn’t bring himself to admit that just yet. Deciding to be a little humorous, Frank smirked against her chest. “You just have a thing for jackasses, huh?”

He wasn’t entirely wrong, either. Sylvie was more drawn to the wrong type of guy — she only knew cruelty, not love.

“Do you… love me?” Sylvie then asked.

The question caught Frank by slight surprise. His eyes met hers, and then he pulled her impossibly closer to him as he continued to slowly move his hips.

Just say it, goddamnit. It’s not that hard.

The way Sylvie was looking into his eyes wasn’t helping. She looked so hopeful. Jesus, how fucking hurt was she to the point she wanted him to love her… out of all people?

Swallowing, he nodded, suddenly at a loss for words. Frank loved her, but in a way he didn’t understand. It was too complicated to explain.

At Frank’s nod, Sylvie pulled him into another kiss, and that was enough to pull Frank out of his inner turmoil, even if just for a little while. He groaned quietly into the kiss, furrowing his brows as he felt his desire for her take hold. His pace gradually became more urgent, and he buried his face in the crook of Sylvie’s neck. She arched her back a bit, nails digging into his back through his tank top as she held onto him. Judging by her gentle whimpers and gasps, Frank could tell she was getting closer to the edge… and he was determined to get her there.

“Mine…” He murmured against her neck, leaving a trail of small bites and desperate kisses once again. “Only mine… only… mine…”

Frank knew he couldn’t hold much longer, either. His movements became more desperate, his nails digging into her hips. He suddenly realized he needed to see Sylvie coming undone on top of him, and he quickly flipped them over again, desperately pulling Sylvie onto him.

Sylvie was just about seeing stars at this point, feeling that familiar tension building up within her abdomen. “I can’t…” She whined. “I… oh my god…”

There was another crack of thunder as the storm grew more intense, and Sylvie frantically kissed Frank to muffle her moans as they both finally let go, continuing to slowly move together as they rode out their intense, shared high, the storm outside only adding to it all.

[olympiansowl]

I’m gonna do a thread of why I think that Miriel will live. First, I’m not exactly a Tolkien expert, I still have to finish a lot of his books, but I’m gonna point out why I think killing her isn’t the best choice, not only from the “I love her and she’s my fav” line but from the “it doesn’t make sense to me as audience/reader" line. And, at the end, i will say why I think she will die. I am torn on this topic.

1 - The hints i talked about previously. Galadriel tells Miriel that she doesn't have to choose the path of fear and that she can choose the path of faith. We see that Miriel is really afraid of that faith because her father was forced out of his throne for it and, at the top, because she knows Numenor will be destroyed. She, eventually, makes a choice and we see that she has chosen faith. In the books, we know very little about her, but in the series we are actually seeing how much of an effort she’s making to follow the right path. Another hint, that might not be a hint, is the scene with that wood dolls (I don’t know the name in English, sorry) and Galadriel is saving Miriel from a dark place. Might hint that maybe something different will save Miriel in the end and it also might mean that she actually just accepted the Gods and made the right choice. Another one, that might be my favorite one: the DAMN EAGLES! Really, every single time we saw them in adaptation, it was to save someone. They saved Frodo, Sam, Gandalf, Thorin and his whole company…I know the eagle it’s sign on the scene, it shows that Miriel is the rightful Queen and in the books we see that they also disappear bc of her grandfather and bc of Pharazon, but they’re connected to the Gods, so I’m a little bit hopeful.

2 - THE GODS! Forgive me, guys, but Gods are supposed to be merciful, you know? Specially those Gods! Like, they know who tries and who doesn’t. They send giant birds to coronations and they also made clouds, like eagles but in clouds, appear on the sky to warn Numenor that they weren’t pleasing them. They see everything and not her efforts? Like bitch please there’s no way they don’t see that Miriel has been suffering like Jesus!

3 - Why her death doesn’t make sense to me in the books and why it won’t make sense if she dies like that in the series: she’s a good one. And the really, extremely good ones that I read about didn’t die. Not only that, but like I said, that woman is suffering too much to just die? When we watch a series that a woman suffers too much, she never dies. I can point a lot of female characters that suffered for at least three lives and are still out there surviving the most dangerous and traumatizing things. For me, it didn’t make sense for Tolkien to kill her just for the sake of narrative because her death doesn’t impact other arcs. Numenor was already destroyed, she was not a Queen anymore because she didn’t have a kingdom. I think he just killed her because he didn’t want to go too much into her, because it doesn’t make sense for a man that portrays faith in the way he does, to just kill of a character that has been faithful and tried to do the best for her people. In the series, she’s more explored and we actually see her efforts. She got blinded, usurped, might be forced to marry, will pass through a damn trial with a giant sea monster…all that, and all that fucking magic, and girl can’t be saved? Be fr. The actress said she had to get a license, so Miriel will probably be underwater for a time and I do believe Numenorians have some elvish blood on them, even if it’s little…she has to live.

4 - Now as a viewer. I heard, don’t know if it’s true, that they can change how a character will die, but not if that person will survive or not. Like Saruman. He dies in a different way, but still dies. So, to me, as a viewer and seeing how they’re writing female characters, it would make more sense for Miriel to die in battle. And on the last battle, alongside the others. Miriel seems to be more rational, so I have trouble thinking that she might just die while trying to make everything right. I am not the producers or the writers, so I don’t know how they would write the rest of her arc, but I could only hope to see her with Elendil, building a new kingdom. I also want to know the point of Earien. I love the actress and I know that the character is young but like…she helped usurp a Queen, using her faith against her…the same faith her father has 🤡 and she’s doing all that bc her brother decided to go to war. He could’ve stayed but he wanted to go. Why tf this girl is blaming Miriel?

5 - As a viewer again: yes, for her to die in Numenor and all might make sense bc she fought to save that damn city, but she’s also worried about its people. Like, all the faithful are supposed to leave the island and those are the ones that are faithful not only to the gods, but to her…why would she stay on that damn city? She knows how this story will end.

7 - Why I think she might die: her arc with Elendil. I love them so much it hurts, but I think they’re going to build the “she’s going to make something out of me” kinda o story line. He became her eyes and she will teach him what she knows about being a leader. Lloyd said something like that in an interview and I couldn’t agree more, because she will hear what he sees and he will hear her interpretations. The feelings they have for each other will affect their path and her death will be his ultimate push to be a leader and honor her memory. What I think to be incredibly sad is that she will drown, trying to save her city. And his late wife also drowned while trying to save their son. A parallel, a sad one.

8 - What I hope for: hope is the last one to go. I would like to see her being saved by the eagle and marrying Elendil, or at least building the city with him. It would be amazing.

9 - Make noise on social media if y’all want the magical eagle to save that woman.

[ananke-xiii]

There's a line from s11e20 "Don't call me Shurley" that got stuck into my little nogging and it's when Chuck tells Metatron "You were just the closest angel to the door when I walked into the room".

Now assuming that Chuck is a lying liar who lies I still like this line because it says way more about Chuck than about Metatron. Then Chuck goes on and delivers his cheap shot: "There's nothing special about you, Metatron. Not then… not now".

(Little aside: AND THEN Amara comes in a few episodes later and calls Metatron "The secretary"?! I mean, how can people not love her? Yes, she might have eaten a few souls so what? Sue her! He brother has eliminated WORLDS because Dean wouldn't bend the knee to him, who's the crazy sibling, huh? *insert a meta about Dean only willing to bend the knee to Cas in Purgatory and all the entendres intended*).

Anyway, for all his pettiness and shrewdness (Metatron is a great villain and I will die on this hill), Metatron replies with surprising grace:

"And I don't care if I was just the angel nearest the door. You picked me. Your light shined on me – Me! Oh, and the warmth. But then you left me. You left all of us."

My little fragile heart trembled a little to these words because... well, it's like the OG trauma, isn't it? To be chosen by your parents, to be loved unconditionally, to be somebody's favorite person... Oh, the warmth.

And so it hit me, I finally saw why I love SPN's angels so much. They are ALL (Cas included) a bunch of children screaming and kicking their feet because they want to be loved, thinking that if they follow their orders, if they fulfill their duties they will be loved.

They are all Lucifer minus the action and the mark.

These are Chuck's words to soothe Lucifer in "We Happy Few": I did. I was supposed to love all creation equally. I wasn’t supposed to have favorites. But you… You were mine. I gave you the Mark because I loved you the most, because I thought you were strong enough to bear it. And when I saw that I was wrong… When I watched my choice devour my most cherished son, I hated myself, and so I punished you. And I am so sorry."

Yes, Chuck is a lying liar who lies. Maybe he chose Lucifer because he was the one closest to the door. Who knows? Chuck doesn't care. Every angel's deepest desire is to be loved by God, to be the chosen one, to be his favorite. Which is both sad and... human? I guess it's a tragedy from the human perspective but maybe the human perspective is limited.

I don't really like the finale with Jack as God for a variety of reasons but, conceptually, the idea of a half-angel and half-human (Kelly Kline you will NOT be forgotten) becoming god is not that bad (Hello Jesus!). Especially if the half-angel part is theoretically (well in pratice too but I mean biology what amirite?)Lucifer's. Because, as Sam says in "We Happy Few": I-I can’t believe I’m actually about to say this, but… um. Lucifer is right.

At the end of the day, SPN as a narrative, did, in a very convoluted and maybe unintentional way, agree with Lucifer.

Like, Lucifer was right. And I know that if we put on our morality glasses Lucifer is evil incarnate etc but honestly? By the same lensens, the whole heavenly host is kinda evil. They ALL (Cas included) did a lot of pretty horrible stuff. All the horror and the pain for a God that doesn't care.

So I guess what should have been explored in Dabb's era was not so much nurture vs nature but more "what does it mean to be half-angel?" 'Cause really, ALL angels are a little bit like Lucifer. And if no angel really represents "good" what are we, humans, left with? Does the question "nurture vs nature" even make sense?

There's really nothing SPECIAL about any of us, humans, angels, demons, monsters. We ALL want to just be chosen and loved unconditionally. It turns out angels are not that different from humans, aren't they?

[jewishbarbies]

why r u ok with zionists but not Christian zionists??? all zionists are bad. (and before you say I'm antisemitism, I'm Jewish and Israeli so like...) (and antizionist, obviously)

you’re entitled to feel however you want about it and so am i.

christian zionists want the land for themselves, they want jews dead and “punished” by god for being evil dirty sinners because they believe they’re the “true chosen people”, and they think all muslims are the enemy and need to die, too. they only care about what’s happening in israel at any given time because they believe it actually belongs to them, and whatever happens in israel signals the return of jesus. they’re fetishy about jews and disgusting. regular zionism is just believing jews have a right to self determination in the land they’re indigenous to.

you can be anti zionist if you want but you really should be educating yourself on these topics. jews are perfectly capable of being antisemitic, we’re not magically exempt from that.

[morsartis]

Rodimus x Professional!Reader Pt. 1

The first part is from Reader's POV and the second will be from Rodimus' POV.

Parts:

Part 2- https://www.tumblr.com/morsartis/712534482204377088/rodimus-x-professionalreader-pt-2?source=share

Part 3- https://www.tumblr.com/morsartis/712534804211662848/rodimus-x-professionalreader-pt-3?source=share

----

Hot water beat down on your back as you rested your head on the shower wall. Everything ached. From your toes to your scalp you felt like one massive bruise. It wasn’t uncommon for you to get back to your quarters feeling drained and tired. Ever since the Lost Light had taken on human crew members your hands had been full, especially following your commander's death. A day that still weighed something fierce on your heart. You’d had to step up- despite the fact that you hadn’t been next in line to lead at all. There had been too much panic, too much grief, and you had done what you had always done in the face of terrible personal tragedy and chaos. You’d buckled down and taken over. Somehow that had led to you being promoted as the human liaison to the captain of the Lost Light. It was an honor certainly but it was something you struggled with. All that responsibility on your shoulders, Commander Jameson had grown livid when the promotion had passed over him and went to you instead. His contempt and judgment was yet another thing that weighed you down. He made it clear that he had little to no respect for you or your new position. It had led to endless fights over the tiniest things that shouldn’t have been fights in the first place. 

Sighing heavily you blinked past the water running down your face. The need for actual running water on the Lost Light had been Commander Hennis’ first petition when you’d come aboard and after her death it had only been right for you to continue that petition. You were grateful for it. Slicking your hair back you took another moment to simply breathe. One deep breath in and then the slow exhale. Shutting off the spray you blindly reached for your towel. Wrapping the soft fluffy thing around yourself you relished its warmth as you stepped out of the tub and into the slightly cooler room. You cursed when you realized you’d left your sleep clothes on your bed. Stepping into the main portion of your room you froze, the blood draining from your face so quickly you almost felt light headed. Clutching the towel tightly to yourself you straightened up immediately. Shit, you were way too underdressed, your hair was still wet and tangled, you were wearing a towel. 

“Captain!” You resisted the urge to salute if only because you feared losing your towel. Rodimus froze, optics wide as he glanced down at you. Jesus, you could die of mortification. 

“I-,” His voicebox made an odd sound you could only describe as a radio dial, “I didn’t realize you were here.”

“I thought to get an early night, Sir.” Oh you just wanted to curl into a ball and die. This was so unprofessional. God, you even planned your own pajamas to be professional in case of an emergency. Why did he have to walk in now? Why did you forget your clothes on your bed? You glanced at your folded clothes and felt a new mortification rising when you realized you’d done like you usually did and placed your underwear on top. Your very nice, lacey, underwear that you rarely got the chance to wear and only decided to wear tonight to make yourself feel nice. As a secret little pick-me-up that only you would know about. The red stood out starkly against your grey sweats and space program t-shirt, the clothes far too professional to even consider what you might be wearing underneath. Even the sports bra you’d chosen was cute with its little lacey front and tiny decorative bow. As if sensing your mortification you could only observe in horror as Rodimus followed your gaze to the clothes you’d plainly laid out. If it were even possible it was as if he froze and locked up more than previously. 

Was- was he blushing?! 

Your face was officially on fire you were simply going to kill yourself. Anything to escape the mortification. Your co-captain, your liaison partner, knew what you were going to wear to bed and he’d been around human culture long enough to understand exactly why you might have been embarrassed. Grasping at straws like it was all you could do, you tried to regain control of the situation. 

“Ahem,” You cleared your throat drawing his attention back to you, “Was there a particular reason you were coming into my quarters Captain?” 

Rodimus straightened up quickly his grip on his holopad tightening. 

“Ah- yes. There was- well… Ahem. To be honest-,” He was stammering, god you were never going to live down the embarrassment, “I wanted your opinion on a transfer I’ve been considering.” 

“A transfer?”

“Yes. One of the humans here.”

That wiped the embarrassment straight from your system. Technically Rodimus could transfer whoever he wished at any point so long as Megatron signed off on said transfer. It had been an unspoken rule since Commander Hennis’ and since your own tenure that all human transfers were to be decided by the human liaison. For Rodimus to even consider transferring a human without giving the full reigns to you must have been serious. 

“May I ask the reason for transfer?”

“Insubordination.” The way he said it left little room to question. His voice was grave and serious in a way you rarely heard from your usually compassionate companion. Clearly this was not a decision he had made lightly. 

“And the crewmember?” You asked after a moment when it became clear he was not going to elaborate. 

“Commander Jameson.” 

“What?” You asked the question slipping out before you could help it. To say you were shocked was an understatement. You had thought that Commander Jameson had been wise enough to keep his displeasure and insubordination pointed towards you and you only. 

“I think it would be best for both the crew and for Commander Jameson himself if he were placed with a different vessel.” 

“My apologies then Captain, I had thought that Commander Jameson had merely been targeting me due to the promotional passover that occurred following Commander Hennis’ passing. I hadn’t a clue that he’d been lashing out towards other higher-ups. Please allow me to talk to him and discuss these matters, I shall ensure he keeps his issues with the chain of command solely with me.” 

“That’s the problem!” Rodimus shouted, waving his arm through the air. You jumped. “He shouldn’t be treating you that way in the first place! You received the promotion because you earned it. Your crew would have been killed if you hadn’t made the calls you did and kept a level head. While Commander Jameson was too busy trying to prove himself you were putting in the actual work. You brought your crew together, you led them into action, you pulled them through that dark time. Not him! I am tired of hearing his baseless complaints about your leadership. You’ve gone above and beyond what was expected of you for the sake of your human crew and your cybertronian companions!” 

You could feel the flush traveling from your cheeks all the way to your shoulders the flattery soothing a sore spot you had been nursing for a while now. But still, despite Jameson’s clear dislike of you, you had a duty to him as his superior. 

“I understand that Rodimus and I thank you for your conviction of my skills,” You replied soothingly, adjusting your hold on your towel, “However, I have a duty to my crew. Commander Jameson’s grievances are with me and me alone. Outside of that he has followed all his orders from other officers to a perfect T. Unless there are incidents I haven’t been informed of..?” You trailed off waiting for a reply. 

“... No. He’s followed orders from other crew members well enough.” Rodimus admitted begrudgingly. You offered him a sincerely sympathetic smile. 

“Then I owe him the chance to discuss options with me first before the call is made for him. If he wishes to transfer then I will be happy to have him transferred, but if he wishes to stay then that decision should be respected as well.”

That was clearly not what he wanted to hear. Rodimus’ expression turned stony, every bit the captain he had to be instead of the mech you had gotten to know. 

“Please let him know that if he fails to follow your direct orders again he will be transferred regardless.” His voice was cold, a sort of anger that sent chills down your spine. You’d never heard anything like it. From Megatron you might have been able to keep the surprise off your face but from Rodimus? The change was too intense not to show your shock. “I’ve transferred the documents to you for review. Good night.” 

Just like that he was gone leaving you standing there shivering from the cold in your towel wondering what had gotten into the normally sunny optimistic mech. Swallowing nervously you shuffled towards your pajamas and got dressed. Everything would have to wait until the morning but already anxiety was beginning to set in. What would you do about this? What could be done to fix it? If you didn’t know him so well by now you would have thought Rodimus was angry with you, but you knew that despite what had happened his anger was directed towards Jameson. With a deep breath you sat on your bed and tried to relax. You’d get this sorted out just like you always did. It would be fine. And then you could talk with Rodimus about why it had upset him the way it did.

[eesirachs]

Why did jesus have to die like that? It’s so brutal to die by cruxifixction.. Imagine being there .. it’s traumatic and the gore is too much. Was it fate? He was going to die like that? A Lament? If they felt this i have to feel it too as their creator?

god wanted to know what dying felt like. he had spent centuries hurtling prophetic bodies towards their own death, sitting vigil for his own clay-creations, and grieving, then grieving some more. but i think there is one event that made his eventual death an inevitable acting-out: the death of saul. saul was his first king, beloved, chosen, new. but then so quickly dis-eased, unwell, undone. saul killed himself: the first person god had ever appointed to kill himself. saul took his own sword to his guts. the next king, david, began the lineage towards jesus. as if god, then and there, made up his mind about something.

in the first century, non-romans were crucified. romans were executed by the sword. god wanted to die, because of course he had to know, he had to be like-us, he had to let his flesh endure, auto-violate, succumb. so god auto-incarnated and walked slowly towards his death. but god refused to die like saul did. god avoided the sword with intention—so much so that he em-bodies as a non-roman, opting to hang instead of have his body severed by steel.

god's death is a probe of curiosity, a pang of guilt, and an aversion to a specific kind of weapon. it is not neat or tidy. you are right: there is lament here. and such gore. but saul endured it, so he would too

[ike-mcswains-mortician]

hihihi uhh i finished the epsiode. Thoughts?

(I spent an hour in class just in shock)

SOOOOO MANY THOUGHTS LARK OUGH MY GOD. (this is going to be so long)

i knew the hermie death acknowledgement was going to be bad. but JESUS FUCKING CHRIST i didn't think it would be LIKE THAT. i was NOT prepared for will to hit me with the "wait where's hermie" RIGHT OFF THE BAT??? and then normal couldn't leave hermie behind and he tried to save them and he was LITERALLY USING BLOOD SWEAT AND TEARS TO BRING HERMIE BACK AND IT DIDN'T FUCKING WORK. I AM GOING TO BE SICK.

and then. dear GOD. i was not ready for henry's return. fuck. ok real talk ARE THEY IN OAKVALE. DID HENRY LEAVE AFTER CODE PURPLE AND GO BACK TO OAKVALE. I AM BEATING MY HEAD AGAINST A WALL. also MERCEDES?????? MY BELOVED??? what the FUCK

and!!!! then!!!!! normal STILL BEGGING AND TRYING AND PRAYING TO BRING HERMIE BACK. but there's NOTHING henry can do and so SCAM???? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?? SCAM LIKELY ACTUALLY GETTING EMOTIONAL OVER HIS SON???? cried into my pasta actually. note to self don't try to eat while listening to dndads.

also i feel like they glossed over this but d00d saying henry feels like home/??? i actually had to do a double take because YEAH THIS IS HENRY LOOKING IN THE FUCKED UP NON-EUCLIDEAN EYES OF THE ELDRITCH ENTITY THAT TORMENTED HIM HIS WHOLE LIFE AND???? THEY JUST. MOVE ON??? HELLO??

and don't even get me fucking STARTED on the funeral. god. i was in physical pain. the shade witch bit (which was fucking GOLD btw) couldn't save me from the 1-2 PUNCH THAT WAS THE FINAL WORDS. henry saying you're never ready for something like this but normal insisting on burying the body. the fucked up two-face tree. "goodnight sweet prince." scary saying she noticed him. scary noticing hermie like she noticed terry jr. no one fuckng touch me.

LARK AND SPARROW AND HENRY INTERACTING. AAAGH. FUCK. THE HANDSHAKE BETWEEN HENRY AND LARK. LIKE. IS THAT THE MOST POSITIVE INTERACTION THEY'VE HAD SINCE THE ROGUE CARD??? IS COLD NEUTRALITY THE BEST THEY HAVE?????? and SPARROW GOING IN FOR A HUG BUT HENRY DOESN'T RECIPROCATE. I AM GOING TO BE FUCKING SICK. THE OAK FAMILY ONCE AGAIN GOING FOR MY GODDAMN THROAT.

and i jsut. i couldn't even process the ending. we finally got another hero mention but it's literally her being trained to kill???? ow??? and they were training normal too??? also THE VOICE SAYING NORMAL WAS THE CHOSEN ONE??? like am i the only one losing it over that??!? i cannot for the life of me understand what happened at the end but JESUS CHRIST i am just. AGH. i am not o-a-k rn.

will campos when i find you. anthony burch when i find you. god. i'm going ot throw up. great episode y'all i'm gonna go lie down and die.

anyway that's my thoughts hbu?? :)

[cellard0ors]

Where Eliza gets off to, Travis could really care less about.

His concern now is keeping Laura safe, and while his mind is still a reeling, complicated mess, he takes her hand in his and looks for shelter.

He feels both drunk and hungover, the way everything in his brain is sloshing around:

Laura and himself playing pretend pirates.

Laura and himself eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.

Laura kissing him - kissing him so well after days and days of deliriously good practice.

She's everywhere. She's in everything. She brings color to his past, to his life. Jesus Christ, how could he have forgotten her?

There's been a hole inside him for so long and now it's full - overflowing, bursting with her. With love for her and as they take refuge behind a large clump of trees, Silas's howls ringing out again, Travis turns to her, "Laura, Laura I'm so sorry. Fuck, all that stupid shit I said-!"

"It's okay." Her voice is warbling with emotion as she runs her fingers through his hair, tucking a few strands behind one ear, "You didn't mean it."

"No." He grumbles and he takes that same hand, kissing it tenderly, "No, I did. Don't make excuses for me. I was a fucking idiot. But I'll make it up to you. I swear to God, I will."

Silas howls again and Travis curses, pulling her closer as if to shelter her, "Once we get ourselves out of this mess. Any ideas?"

"You're asking me?!"

"Yeah." Travis deadpans, "You're the smart one."

Laura's smile wiggles some, overcome with emotion as she is, "You really do remember..."

She looks at his mouth and dear fucking God, does he want to kiss her, but, "Gotta wait, sweetheart. You kiss me now, I'm not going to stop. And while there's no other way I'd like to die..."

Laura draws in a loud breath and nods, directing her gaze back up to his eyes, "Okay. You're right."

Looking around the copse of trees they're hiding behind, Laura turns to Travis, "Alright, you said this site disappeared after the fire?"

Travis nods, "The fire happened at night. Next day we started the clean up - firetruck crew, garbage men, cops - the whole lot. We cleaned out some debris, a few bodies - but the day after," he shakes his head, "It was all gone."

"Hmm, no doubt Eliza shrouded it after that, because she not only came fully into her incorporeal form, but because she wanted to protect her body."

"That sounds plausible." Travis agrees, "We weren't finished in just one day - there was a lot left behind. We thought we had plenty of time. When none of us could find it..."

He lets out an aggravated snarl, "Let's just say red tape in a small town is both looser and stickier than you'd think. Mayor wanted it all tied up quick - found the whole thing an embarrassment - was worried it'd reflect poorly on his reelection."

Travis actually spits to one side, "After the curse hit my family, we looked for it too. But no luck. Yet here we are..."

Laura swishes her mouth from side to side in thought, "Well, it's been a long time, but looking around now, I seem to recall the contortionist's stage being over there and the cotton candy stand over there...so that would put Silas's cage and Eliza's caravan..."

She peeks around the trees once more before motioning to Travis that he should follow her. They stick low to the ground, picking carefully through the underbrush around them so as to make little to no noise.

They reach a burned out area of trees, small signs of life returning to the scorched wood in the form of green moss.

There's a loud, shuffling to one side of them and Laura grabs one of Travis's arms, tugging on it tightly so that he'll move with her behind some boulders.

They do so and only seconds later, Silas darts by, his nose raised and sniffing loudly. The two hold their breath as the werewolf prowls around the spot they were just standing.

Neither of them can say why luck has chosen to smile upon them for once, as Silas can't seem to pinpoint their exact location. Grunting and growling as he bounds off into the distance, away from them.

With the danger passed (for now) the two practically collapse in on one another. Laura gasps 'That was close' even as Travis looks at her and says softly, "You haven't changed."

Laura blinks at him, confused, until he looks down, his voice bitter, "You're just as beautiful as you were the last time I saw you. Just as young..."

"A-actually, I'm twenty two now..." She offers this as if it will help, but he merely snorts even as she tacks on, "In a manner of speaking..."

"How-?"

Laura shrugs, "Magic. She kept Silas and I young. Better that way - easier to keep us in her control. It's not the kind of spell someone can use on themselves though, so-?"

Another shrug, "She aged. It's probably why she forgot she'd been here before. It's why I sent you the tickets..."

"You found out I was the sheriff." Travis sighs and rubs at his face, guilt hitting him like a freight train, "You thought I'd come and save you. Save both of you."

One last helpless shrug and he lets out a sour laugh, "Here I was earlier, blaming you - when this really is all my fucking fault."

"No, Travis-!"

"If I'd have just fucking gone that night, none of this would have happened. I've thought that before, long before tonight," He laughs again, sadder this time, "At least now I know for sure it's true."

Laura looks like she wants to object again, but Travis isn't done as he looks at her, takes in her lovely face, "Look at you...still so young, still so beautiful...and here I am..."

He shakes his head ruefully, looking away from her, and she finally gets her chance to speak, "You have nothing to apologize for, Travis. You grew up. That's all."

"You can admit it: I grew old." Travis stresses, looking back at her, "Old and nasty - twisted. You don't even know the promises I broke, the ones I made to you-!"

"Hey!" Laura cuts him off sternly, takes his face in her hands so he'll look directly at her, "You didn't know you were breaking anything. Okay? I took your memories from you...I-I thought it would be easier. That you'd be fine without me...happy even..."

She runs her thumbs over his cheekbones and he leans into the touch as she whispers, "I hurt you first, Travis. So...it's okay. And-and I know you just got your memories back, but...nothing's changed for me. I still lov-!"

Silas howls again and there's the sound of him thrashing through the forest in the distance. He's not close to them, far from it, but the sounds remind them of their mission, of what they're here to do.

Laura lets his face go and returns with determination, "To be continued..."

"Oh," Travis grins, "You better believe it."

The two move out from behind the boulders. Bound and determined to continue their search.

[roman-catholic-mass-readings]

9th April >> Mass Readings (Except USA)

Easter Sunday 

(Liturgical Colour: White: A(1))

First Reading Acts of the Apostles 10:34,37-43 'We have eaten and drunk with him after his resurrection'.

Peter addressed Cornelius and his household: ‘You must have heard about the recent happenings in Judaea; about Jesus of Nazareth and how he began in Galilee, after John had been preaching baptism. God had anointed him with the Holy Spirit and with power, and because God was with him, Jesus went about doing good and curing all who had fallen into the power of the devil. Now I, and those with me, can witness to everything he did throughout the countryside of Judaea and in Jerusalem itself: and also to the fact that they killed him by hanging him on a tree, yet three days afterwards God raised him to life and allowed him to be seen, not by the whole people but only by certain witnesses God had chosen beforehand. Now we are those witnesses – we have eaten and drunk with him after his resurrection from the dead – and he has ordered us to proclaim this to his people and to tell them that God has appointed him to judge everyone, alive or dead. It is to him that all the prophets bear this witness: that all who believe in Jesus will have their sins forgiven through his name.’

The Word of the Lord

R/ Thanks be to God.

Responsorial Psalm Psalm 117(118):1-2,16-17,22-23

R/ This day was made by the Lord: we rejoice and are glad. or R/ Alleluia, alleluia, alleluia!

Give thanks to the Lord for he is good, for his love has no end. Let the sons of Israel say: ‘His love has no end.’

R/ This day was made by the Lord: we rejoice and are glad. or R/ Alleluia, alleluia, alleluia!

The Lord’s right hand has triumphed; his right hand raised me up. I shall not die, I shall live and recount his deeds.

R/ This day was made by the Lord: we rejoice and are glad. or R/ Alleluia, alleluia, alleluia!

The stone which the builders rejected has become the corner stone. This is the work of the Lord, a marvel in our eyes.

R/ This day was made by the Lord: we rejoice and are glad. or R/ Alleluia, alleluia, alleluia!

Second Reading Colossians 3:1-4 Look for the things that are in heaven, where Christ is.

Since you have been brought back to true life with Christ, you must look for the things that are in heaven, where Christ is, sitting at God’s right hand. Let your thoughts be on heavenly things, not on the things that are on the earth, because you have died, and now the life you have is hidden with Christ in God. But when Christ is revealed – and he is your life – you too will be revealed in all your glory with him.

The Word of the Lord

R/ Thanks be to God.

Sequence Victimae Paschali Laudes

Christians, to the Paschal Victim offer sacrifice and praise. The sheep are ransomed by the Lamb; and Christ, the undefiled, hath sinners to his Father reconciled.

Death with life contended: combat strangely ended!

Life’s own Champion, slain, yet lives to reign.

Tell us, Mary: say what thou didst see upon the way.

The tomb the Living did enclose; I saw Christ’s glory as he rose!

The angels there attesting; shroud with grave-clothes resting.

Christ, my hope, has risen: he goes before you into Galilee.

That Christ is truly risen from the dead we know. Victorious king, thy mercy show!

Gospel Acclamation 1 Corinthians 5:7-8

Alleluia, alleluia! Christ, our passover, has been sacrificed: let us celebrate the feast then, in the Lord. Alleluia!

Either:

Gospel John 20:1-9 He must rise from the dead.

It was very early on the first day of the week and still dark, when Mary of Magdala came to the tomb. She saw that the stone had been moved away from the tomb and came running to Simon Peter and the other disciple, the one Jesus loved. ‘They have taken the Lord out of the tomb’ she said ‘and we don’t know where they have put him.’ So Peter set out with the other disciple to go to the tomb. They ran together, but the other disciple, running faster than Peter, reached the tomb first; he bent down and saw the linen cloths lying on the ground, but did not go in. Simon Peter who was following now came up, went right into the tomb, saw the linen cloths on the ground, and also the cloth that had been over his head; this was not with the linen cloths but rolled up in a place by itself. Then the other disciple who had reached the tomb first also went in; he saw and he believed. Till this moment they had failed to understand the teaching of scripture, that he must rise from the dead.

The Gospel of the Lord

R/ Praise to you, Lord Jesus Christ.

Or:

Gospel Matthew 28:1-10 He has risen from the dead and now he is going before you into Galilee.

After the sabbath, and towards dawn on the first day of the week, Mary of Magdala and the other Mary went to visit the sepulchre. And all at once there was a violent earthquake, for the angel of the Lord, descending from heaven, came and rolled away the stone and sat on it. His face was like lightning, his robe white as snow. The guards were so shaken, so frightened of him, that they were like dead men. But the angel spoke; and he said to the women, ‘There is no need for you to be afraid. I know you are looking for Jesus, who was crucified. He is not here, for he has risen, as he said he would. Come and see the place where he lay, then go quickly and tell his disciples, “He has risen from the dead and now he is going before you to Galilee; it is there you will see him.” Now I have told you.’ Filled with awe and great joy the women came quickly away from the tomb and ran to tell the disciples. And there, coming to meet them, was Jesus. ‘Greetings’ he said. And the women came up to him and, falling down before him, clasped his feet. Then Jesus said to them, ‘Do not be afraid; go and tell my brothers that they must leave for Galilee; they will see me there.’

The Gospel of the Lord

R/ Praise to you, Lord Jesus Christ.

Or:

Gospel Luke 24:13-35 They recognised him at the breaking of bread.

Two of the disciples of Jesus were on their way to a village called Emmaus, seven miles from Jerusalem, and they were talking together about all that had happened. Now as they talked this over, Jesus himself came up and walked by their side; but something prevented them from recognising him. He said to them, ‘What matters are you discussing as you walk along?’ They stopped short, their faces downcast. Then one of them, called Cleopas, answered him, ‘You must be the only person staying in Jerusalem who does not know the things that have been happening there these last few days.’ ‘What things?’ he asked. ‘All about Jesus of Nazareth’ they answered ‘who proved he was a great prophet by the things he said and did in the sight of God and of the whole people; and how our chief priests and our leaders handed him over to be sentenced to death, and had him crucified. Our own hope had been that he would be the one to set Israel free. And this is not all: two whole days have gone by since it all happened; and some women from our group have astounded us: they went to the tomb in the early morning, and when they did not find the body, they came back to tell us they had seen a vision of angels who declared he was alive. Some of our friends went to the tomb and found everything exactly as the women had reported, but of him they saw nothing.’ Then he said to them, ‘You foolish men! So slow to believe the full message of the prophets! Was it not ordained that the Christ should suffer and so enter into his glory?’ Then, starting with Moses and going through all the prophets, he explained to them the passages throughout the scriptures that were about himself. When they drew near to the village to which they were going, he made as if to go on; but they pressed him to stay with them. ‘It is nearly evening’ they said ‘and the day is almost over.’ So he went in to stay with them. Now while he was with them at table, he took the bread and said the blessing; then he broke it and handed it to them. And their eyes were opened and they recognised him; but he had vanished from their sight. Then they said to each other, ‘Did not our hearts burn within us as he talked to us on the road and explained the scriptures to us?’ They set out that instant and returned to Jerusalem. There they found the Eleven assembled together with their companions, who said to them, ‘Yes, it is true. The Lord has risen and has appeared to Simon.’ Then they told their story of what had happened on the road and how they had recognised him at the breaking of bread.

The Gospel of the Lord

R/ Praise to you, Lord Jesus Christ.

[drmaqazi]

JUST A REMINDER TO ALL THOSE WHO THINK THEY ARE GODS, ESPECIALLY THE ELITE RULING THE SO-CALLED ISLAMIC REPUBLIC OF PAKISTAN, WHICH IS NEITHER ISLAMIC NOR REPUBLIC, BUT AN AUTOCRATIC DICTATORSHIP BEING RULED BY A CHOSEN FEW LANDLORDS, A LEGACY OF THE BRITISH EMPIRE.

UNFORTUNATELY!

Most of the elite of so-called Islamic Republic of Pakistan and their followers are ignorant people, deaf, dumb and blind leading the deaf dumb and blindblind as Allah (Subhanhu wa Ta’ala) says in the Holy Qur’an:

These are three qualities that God Almighty described the hypocrites with – deaf, as they do not listen to or hear the truth; dumb, as they do not speak the truth; and blind, as they do not see what the truth is nor do they see by the truth. 

صُمٌّبُكْمٌعُمْيٌفَهُمْلاَيَرْجِعُونَ

Deaf, dumb and blind - so they will not return [to the right path]. Or [it is] like a rainstorm from the sky within which is darkness, thunder and lightning. They put their fingers in their ears against the thunderclaps in dread of death, Surah Al-Baqarah. Verses 18.

صُمٌّبُكْمٌعُمْىٌ

(They are deaf, dumb, and blind.) means, they are deaf, as they do not hear the truth; mute, as they do not utter it; and blind, as they do not see or recognize its path and way.

فَهُمْلاَيَعْقِلُونَ

(So they do not understand.) means, they do not comprehend or understand anything. Surah Al-Baqarah. Verse 170.

They do not read the Holy Qur’an, do not understand it and do not act upon it, so I though let me remind them by the words of wisdom from the father Prophet David (‘Alaih-is-Salam) to his son Prophet Sulaiman (‘Alaih-is-Salam), which may shake you up and wake you up from your deep slumber. It is now or never, but in my humble opinion, it is never too late.

شایدکہتیرےدلمیںاترجائےمیریبات

As the Lord of Abraham, Moses Jesus and Muhammad (SallAllahu ‘alaihi wa Sallam) is One God Almighty, therefore, the message given in the Psalms of Prophet David (‘Alaih-is-Salam) applies also to the Ummah of Prophet Muhammad (SallAllahu ‘alaihi wa Sallam) equally.

Psalm 82:1 is a verse from the Bible that describes God's presence and authority in the assembly of the mighty or the gods.  The verse can be translated in different ways, but the main idea is that God stands or presides as a judge over the rulers or judges of the earth, who are called gods because of their power or divine appointment. God observes and evaluates their actions and decisions.

GOD ALMIGHTY PRESIDES IN THE GREAT ASSEMBLY

1{A Psalm of Asaph.} God standeth in the congregation of the mighty; he judgeth among the gods.

2How long will ye judge unjustly, and accept the persons of the wicked? Selah.

3Defend the poor and fatherless: do justice to the afflicted and needy.

4Deliver the poor and needy: rid them out of the hand of the wicked.

5They know not, neither will they understand; they walk on in darkness: all the foundations of the earth are out of course.

6I have said, Ye are gods; and all of you are children of the most High.

7But ye shall die like men, and fall like one of the princes.

8Arise, O God, judge the earth: for thou shalt inherit all nations.

IN CONCLUSION: 

I hope and pray that God Almighty will listen to the prayer of Prophet David (‘Alaih-is-Salam) and take care of the corrupt politicians, who are Qaum Farosh and Zameer Farosh RASCALS and deliver the helpless, the needy and the poor people of so-called Islamic Republic of Pakistan and rid them out of the hands of the illegal wicked PDM rulers, Ameen.

[automatismoateo]

Reasons why I left Christianity. via /r/atheism

Reasons why I left Christianity. Hundreds of thousands if not millions of innocent children die every year before the age of 5 due to cancer, sickness, starvation, and torture. There are millions of people every year sold into sexual slavery every year all over the world. There are natural disasters like the tsunami in 2004 that wiped out a quarter of a million people. The holocaust took the lives of over 6 million people. 9/11 took the lives of thousands of people. There have been wars since the dawn of time. Those are just to name a few but I could go on. Why does God allow suffering? The free will argument is nonsensical because it doesn’t have to be that way. If God is all powerful then he makes the rules. What loving father would allow their child to get hung on a cross by rusty nails and have thorns placed in his head and a spear through his side for something that he didn’t do? It is often said that God the father can’t stand sin but somehow Jesus the son can? If they’re both God and they’re the same entity like the Bible claims they are, this is a logical fallacy. They either can’t be in the presence of sin or they can, you can’t have both. If he’s God, he could just have said they’re forgiven and moved on. If he cares so much about free will and being chosen then how come the angels don’t have free will? The free will argument and the origins of sin makes no sense either, it’s like if my dad told me to take out the trash and I executed my free will and chose not to, that he would respond by making me suffer for the rest of my life along with all of my future children and their children for every single generation that followed. Doesn’t that seem a bit extreme? Literally all eve did was eat an apple and now we’re all punished for it, but somehow He loves us, right? Also, in the origin story if the world was perfect and without sin, why was there an evil sinful snake in the garden who could lie? Why did God prank Abraham into almost stabbing and killing his own son? His child. For no reason! That’s evil. Someone could spend their whole life violently raping women and children and dismantling their bodies in the woods and on death row just before they die they accept Jesus as Lord and they get to spend eternity in bliss? Whereas a sweet grandma who bakes cookies her whole life spends eternity burning in a furnace simply because she doesn’t believe in God? If God created everything then that means he created evil too. Think about it. If God is all knowing then that means He knew that if he gave satan free will that he would rebel. Additionally, Satan can’t think of anything evil or become evil unless God programmed him that way. It’s like a computer designing it’s own website without a programmer. I don’t buy it anymore. I’m out. At least I don’t have to worry about being punished by God for being imperfect anymore. I literally can’t be perfect, he holds us to an impossible standard. It’s like punishing a paraplegic for not being able to walk and telling them that they’re imperfect and need to be forgiven. It’s cruel. Last thought, if the only reason stopping you from lying, stealing, cheating, murdering, raping, etc. is that there is a God in the sky who will punish you for doing those things, then maybe you aren’t a good person. Please try to provide an answer to any of these questions if you can. I am an open minded logical person who is willing to listen, I promise you will not be talking to a brick wall. Submitted October 15, 2024 at 07:04PM by Professional-Draw236 (From Reddit https://ift.tt/h67JMts)

[marysittingathisfeet]

Why Target Eve

Genesis 3-

1: Now the serpent was more crafty than any of the wild animals the Lord God had made. He said to the woman, “Did God really say, ‘You must not eat from any tree in the garden’?”

2 The woman said to the serpent, “We may eat fruit from the trees in the garden, 

3 but God did say, ‘You must not eat fruit from the tree that is in the middle of the garden, and you must not touch it, or you will die.’”

4 “You will not certainly die,” the serpent said to the woman. 

5 “For God knows that when you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.”

Why did Satan choose to speak to Eve and not Adam?

I don't think Satan chose Eve because she was not as intelligent as Adam. Nor was she chosen because she was the weaker sex. I have also read commentaries that stated that Adam was supposed to be the leader and Eve was supposed to be the helper. Satan purposefully distorted their relationship and made Eve the leader instead. Perhaps, this was the result, but I do not think this was the motive.

Remember Eve was made AFTER God declared that Adam needed a help mate. Then God brought every animal to Adam to "see what he would name them." After Adam had named all the animals, God determined 'But still there was no helper just right for him."

Was this a surprise to God. No, of course not. But I think he delayed making Eve so that Adam would appreciate more the gift of Eve. I don't know how long it took Adam to see and name all the creatures, but I probably took years; if not decades. Adam was alone all that time. Of course Adam had his evening walks in the garden with God, but what about the rest of the day? Maybe he chatted with a few visiting angels. Who knows. Finally God puts Adam into a deep sleep and takes out one of his ribs.

So why didn't God just make Eve from the earth like he did Adam? God was declaring that man and woman are two halves of one whole.

Ephesians 5:25 "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy". 

Marriage should exemplify God's sacrificial loving relationship with his church. Husbands should love their wives with the same love and concern that Jesus demonstrated when he gave up his life on the cross. Woman are not commanded to love their their husbands- only to respect them.

So why then did Satan target Eve? Adam had had years to walk and talk with God before Eve was created. This Adam's relationship with God was deeper because he had had more time to develop it.

Satan had probably visited the garden many times as the serpent speaking to the couple, thus Eve was not surprised when the serpent spoke to her. Like he does today he watched the couple to determine their soft spots. This time, he was not only able to spot a weakness, but he could finally use it to his advantage.

Genesis 3:1- The serpent was the shrewdest of all the wild animals the Lord God had made. One day he asked the woman, "Did God really say you must not eat fruit from ANY of the trees in the garden?" (Emphasis is mine.)

So Satan basically twists the one rule that God had given Adam and Eve laying the foundation for questioning God's word

{Eve responds by not actually repeating accurately the law given by God. This is why it is important to know the word of God. Also why we need to search the scriptures ourselves and not trust a preacher to always be right. After all they are human too. }

Genesis 3:2- "Of course we may eat fruit from the trees in the garden, the woman replied. "It's only the fruit from the middle of the garden we are not allowed to eat. God said, "You must not eat it or even touch it: if you do, you will die. "

Oh how Satan must have secretly smiled. Because Eve did not know the word of God, he could use her lack of knowledge against her.

"You wont die!" the serpent replied to the woman. "God knows that your eyes will be opened as soon as you eat it, and you will be like God, knowing both good and evil."- A lie mixed with truth.

So Eve looks up at the serpent. She is now confused. The serpent was coiled around the limbs of the tree, but he was not dead. He was touching the tree and was not dead. Maybe he had even eaten of the fruit, and was still alive. What was Eve's conclusion then? That the serpent was right. God was lying. He was keeping something good from her and Adam. If the fruit could not harm a serpent, it probably won't hurt her? Besides the serpent said she would be like God. Her eyes would be opened. Maybe Eve was tired of counting sheep and wanted a little more excitement in her life. We cannot know for sure what Eve thought, the Bible does not say. This is purely conjecture.

Plus Eve did not really know what death was. Death was something bad for sure, but in the garden neither Eve nor Adam had ever experienced it. So maybe it wasn't as bad as it sounds.

Eve reaches for the forbidden fruit and Satan's heart beats with wild anticipation. What was Adam doing? Nothing.

Genesis 3:6 When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it. 7 Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they realized they were naked; so they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves.

We see from this verse that Adam had been there the whole time. As the oldest and most experienced of the two, he should have intervened. He could have said,

"No Eve, God said we can't eat it only. " He could have also said- "Don't pick the fruit Eve. God said no." or "Let's go to the other side of the garden, the cats need baths." But he said nothing. This is why Eve says she was tricked, but Adam knowingly sinned. That is why he pointed the finger at Eve. Adam ate the fruit with his eyes wide open. He wanted to be like God too. Adam's curiosity plagued him. What would happen if he ate the fruit. Thus he let Eve be the scapegoat. This is why the bible tells us that Adam sinned. Romans 5;12 tells us - When Adam sinned, sin entered the world. Eve is not given the blame here. Satan knew Adam's soft spot too.

And yes, their roles had been reversed which is why God says to Eve after he tells her her labor pains will be increased, ...."And you will desire to control your husband, but he will rule over you." Genesis 3:16B.

And thus the battle of the sexes has begun.

[tangerinecreamsicleee]

I find it almost impossible to have deep unfiltered conversations with my more 'christian' friends about the meaning of life and spirituality. Maybe it's because some of my viewpoints threaten their sense of self, since most religions, especially christianity, are very much to tied to one's identity. I understand they have chosen christianity to help them understand themselves, give meaning to their existence and the world around them, but it's more interesting how they are able to come to the conclusion of it being the [one] ultimate truth. How can we all collectively agree on a topic so mysterious as the beginning of creation, the purpose of life and what really happens when we die? If it was so clear, we all would have already agreed to just [one].

Most of my christian friends (and I have [too] many since I was born into this community) pivot all conversations regarding life and the beyond to either proving me wrong or converting me to 'their side'. Which are neither things I am asking. It's immediately defensive, which puzzles me all the more about this particular human psyche. I can usually see it in their eyes the moment I say something that opposes their christian worldview, a sense of awkward urgency to address it as untrue, taking it all so personally. Perhaps because for them, the 'truth' has been written out for them like a manual. From what I remember, questions were welcomed but their answers were never really convincing, and to simply have 'faith', more like blind faith, was revered. I guess religion is only convincing to those already convinced.

I recently had a revelation myself to become more open to exploring christianity and what it means to me. Although too long of a story to write down, I have felt called to prayer. But to whom was always my question. I decided Jesus, the holy spirit, and the 'christian god' - the one I am most familiar with and grew up praying to, was the best fit for me. I made the terrible mistake of blurting my newfound spiritual stance to a group of people. One particular interaction with a 'friend' made me rethink my choices altogether. I mentioned I wanted to pray to the 'holy trinity', and perhaps be open to christian concepts like the bible and church - however, that I still don't think it's the [one true religion] but it's what fits me most in this phase of my life.

To clarify, I was christian for 26 years and I know what that looks like - like the back of my hand, and I left it for a reason. But to go back now would be trickier as my mind had been expanded and exposed to new truths and points of view.

The friend immediately snapped back to say then I am not a 'christian'. This interaction reminded me why I had left in the first place. A belief in a singular truth is rejecting all other truths. It's an 'I'm right, you're wrong' mentality, or, a disregard that all adult humans are equally capable of knowing what is right or wrong for themselves. For christians, they're going to heaven (the good place) and anyone that isn't, is going to hell (the bad place).

All of this just never sat right with me. I have always felt that religion divides, more than it unifies. Therefore I like to think that every religion has some truth to it, and if a person chooses one belief and lifestyle that inevitably helps them become better versions of themselves, then that's beautiful and perfectly acceptable.

Can we normalize people believing whatever the fuck they want and being respected for it? As well as acknowledge that everyone has lived very different lives that have shaped their subconscious beliefs about themselves and the world around them, therefore all have widely differring lenses of seeing the world? No wonder christianity has like an endless number of denominations, from what I looked up 45,000 globally - so many interpretations of the edited christian texts they can't seem to all come together to a singular conclusion.

I'm tired of labels - especially when it comes to spirituality. My truth is my truth, and I need to be ok with this.