#so i literally could not process the episode until all that was done and then i just completely broke

[ike-mcswains-mortician]

hihihi uhh i finished the epsiode. Thoughts?

(I spent an hour in class just in shock)

SOOOOO MANY THOUGHTS LARK OUGH MY GOD. (this is going to be so long)

i knew the hermie death acknowledgement was going to be bad. but JESUS FUCKING CHRIST i didn't think it would be LIKE THAT. i was NOT prepared for will to hit me with the "wait where's hermie" RIGHT OFF THE BAT??? and then normal couldn't leave hermie behind and he tried to save them and he was LITERALLY USING BLOOD SWEAT AND TEARS TO BRING HERMIE BACK AND IT DIDN'T FUCKING WORK. I AM GOING TO BE SICK.

and then. dear GOD. i was not ready for henry's return. fuck. ok real talk ARE THEY IN OAKVALE. DID HENRY LEAVE AFTER CODE PURPLE AND GO BACK TO OAKVALE. I AM BEATING MY HEAD AGAINST A WALL. also MERCEDES?????? MY BELOVED??? what the FUCK

and!!!! then!!!!! normal STILL BEGGING AND TRYING AND PRAYING TO BRING HERMIE BACK. but there's NOTHING henry can do and so SCAM???? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?? SCAM LIKELY ACTUALLY GETTING EMOTIONAL OVER HIS SON???? cried into my pasta actually. note to self don't try to eat while listening to dndads.

also i feel like they glossed over this but d00d saying henry feels like home/??? i actually had to do a double take because YEAH THIS IS HENRY LOOKING IN THE FUCKED UP NON-EUCLIDEAN EYES OF THE ELDRITCH ENTITY THAT TORMENTED HIM HIS WHOLE LIFE AND???? THEY JUST. MOVE ON??? HELLO??

and don't even get me fucking STARTED on the funeral. god. i was in physical pain. the shade witch bit (which was fucking GOLD btw) couldn't save me from the 1-2 PUNCH THAT WAS THE FINAL WORDS. henry saying you're never ready for something like this but normal insisting on burying the body. the fucked up two-face tree. "goodnight sweet prince." scary saying she noticed him. scary noticing hermie like she noticed terry jr. no one fuckng touch me.

LARK AND SPARROW AND HENRY INTERACTING. AAAGH. FUCK. THE HANDSHAKE BETWEEN HENRY AND LARK. LIKE. IS THAT THE MOST POSITIVE INTERACTION THEY'VE HAD SINCE THE ROGUE CARD??? IS COLD NEUTRALITY THE BEST THEY HAVE?????? and SPARROW GOING IN FOR A HUG BUT HENRY DOESN'T RECIPROCATE. I AM GOING TO BE FUCKING SICK. THE OAK FAMILY ONCE AGAIN GOING FOR MY GODDAMN THROAT.

and i jsut. i couldn't even process the ending. we finally got another hero mention but it's literally her being trained to kill???? ow??? and they were training normal too??? also THE VOICE SAYING NORMAL WAS THE CHOSEN ONE??? like am i the only one losing it over that??!? i cannot for the life of me understand what happened at the end but JESUS CHRIST i am just. AGH. i am not o-a-k rn.

will campos when i find you. anthony burch when i find you. god. i'm going ot throw up. great episode y'all i'm gonna go lie down and die.

anyway that's my thoughts hbu?? :)

[carpe-mamilia]

Ghosts’ Larry Rickard Explains Why They Chose the Captain’s First Name

Photo: Monumental,Guido Mandozzi

It couldn’t be a joke. That was one rule laid down by the Ghosts creators when it came to choosing a first name for Willbond’s character. Until series five, the WWII ghost had been known only as The Captain – a mystery seized upon by fans of the show.

“It was the question we got asked more than anything. His name,” actor and writer Larry Rickard tells Den of Geek. “Once we got to series three, you could see that we were deliberately cutting away and deliberately avoiding it. We were fuelling the fire because we knew at some point we’d tell them.”

In “Carpe Diem”, the episode written by Rickard and Ben Willbond that finally reveals The Captain’s death story, they did tell us. After years of guessing, clue-spotting and debate, Ghosts revealed that The Captain’s first name is James. At the same time, we also learned that James’ colleague Lieutenant Havers’ first name was Anthony.

The ordinariness of those two names, says Rickard, is the point.

“The only thing we were really clear about is that we didn’t want one of those names that only exists in tellyland. It shouldn’t be ‘Cormoran’ or ‘Endeavour’. They should just be some men’s names and they’re important to them. The point was that they were everyday.”

Choosing first names for The Captain and Havers was a long process not unlike naming a baby, Rickard agrees. “It almost comes down to looking at the faces of the characters and saying, what’s right?”

“We talked for ages. For a long time I kept thinking ‘Duncan and James’, and then I was like ah no! That would have turned it into a gag and been awful!” Inescapably in the minds of a certain generation, Duncan James is a member of noughties boyband Blue. “Maybe with Anthony I was thinking of Anthony Costa!” Rickard says in mock horror, referencing another member of the band.

Lieutenant Havers wasn’t just The Captain’s second in command while stationed at Button House; he was also the man James loved. Because homosexuality was criminalised in England during James’ lifetime, he was forced to hide his feelings for Anthony from society, and to some extent even from himself.

In “Carpe Diem”, the ghosts (mistakenly) prepare for the last day of their afterlives, prompting The Captain to finally tell his story. Though not explicit about his sexual identity, the others understand and accept what he tells them – and led by Lady Button, all agree that he’s a brave man.

Getting the balance right of what The Captain does and doesn’t say was key to the episode. “It wasn’t just a personal choice of his to go ‘I’m going to remain in the closet’,” explains Rickard. “There wasn’t an option there to explore the things that either of them felt. That couldn’t be done back then – there are so many stories which have come out since the War about the dangers of doing that.

“We wanted to tell his personal story but also try to ensure that there was a level at which you understood why they couldn’t be open, that even in this moment where he’s finally telling the other ghosts his story, he never comes out and says it overtly because that would be too much for him as a character from that time.

“He says enough for them to know, and enough for him to feel unburdened but it’s in the fact that they’re using their first names which militarily they would never have done, and in the literal passing of the baton”.

The baton is a bonus reveal when fans learned that The Captain’s military stick wasn’t a memento of his career, but of Havers. As James suffers a fatal heart attack during a VE day celebration at Button House, Anthony rushes to his side and the stick passes from one to the other as they share a moment of tragic understanding.

“From really early on, we had the idea that anything you’re holding [when you die] stays with you. So it wasn’t just your clothes you were wearing, we had the stuff with Thomas’ letter reappearing in his pocket and so on. And the assumption being that it was something The Captain couldn’t put down, it felt so nice to be able to say it was something he didn’t want to put down.”

Rickard lists “Carpe Diem”, co-written with Ben Willbond, among his series five highlights. He’s pleased with the end result, praises Willbond’s performance, and loved being on set to see Button House dressed for the 1940s. He’s particularly pleased that a checklist of moments they wanted to land with the audience all managed to be included. “Normally something’s fallen by the wayside just because of the way TV’s made, it’s always imperfect or it’s slightly rushed, but it feels like it’s all there.”

Rickard and Willbond also knew by this point in the show’s lifetime, that they could trust Ghosts fans to pick up on small details. “Nothing is missed,” he says. “Early on, you’re always thinking, is that going to get across? But once we got to series five, there are little tiny things within corners of shots and you know that’s going to be spotted. Particularly in that very short exchange between Havers and the Captain. We worried less about the minutiae of it because you go, that’s going to be rewound and rewatched, nothing will be missed.”

The team were also grateful they’d resisted the temptation to tell The Captain’s story sooner. “We’d talked about it every series since series two, whether or not now was the time, but because he’s such a hard and starchy character in a lot of ways you needed the time to understand his softer side I think before you had that final honest beat from him.”

“What a ridiculously normal name to have so much weight put on it for five years,” laughs Rickard fondly. “Good old James.”

From Den of Geek

[pshbites]

LOVE ON AiR: 16. YAP CENTRAL EP.136: did social media ruin relationships?

WARNiNGS » profanity, mentions of d wording, sexual jokes, crying, ynhoon teasing, yn never being safe

wc: 3.1k

episode desc - enjoy your stay today in yap central! as we’ve done the whole cycle, todays episode is a deeper one! we open up with a positive impact we’ve seen on each other. then we go right in with how our presence on social media has affected our relationships. following that up we keep the theme of the deeper episode and go over the influence social media has on us and how we view ourselves. we end the episode off by saying one thing we’ve noticed about one another as we’ve grown and how we think it affects the friendship. the episode ends off on a bittersweet note but we hope you enjoyed your stay today in yap central!

*the 6 of you are seated in your assigned seats. jungwon adjusts the soundboard and riki tests the mic out, then giving him a thumbs up. sunoo sets his mic up a little closer to pick up his audio and looks to the camera, setting his phone down*

sunoo: it’s been so long since we sat in here

giselle: i know like two weeks right?

yn: i think almost three *you say, adjusting your outfit as well as your seating position. riki scoots over so you have more room.*

jungwon: i mean it counts as like a summer break since we didn’t really take one.

kat: good point. you know guys do you guys remember those um fuck what were they called

riki: it would help if you gave a description

kat: shut up im thinking

*the rest of you stare at kat in silence until jungwon breaks the silence to laugh, the rest of you following suit*

jungwon: im sorry it’s just what could it be that has you thinking that long

giselle: she’s using everything in that little brain come on now!

*giselles comment makes the rest of you laugh even harder, kat laughing as well*

kat: i can’t even think of it nevermind

yn: it’s okay babe you’ll find it later.

riki: i have to say these costumes are amazing actually. might be my favorite theme

giselle: you know riki you’ve been hating a lot less recently.

jungwon: i was gonna say that too, he’s a bit nicer

riki: what can i say, finally holding my deal for the new year’s resolution

yn: watch now that we said this he’s gonna be doing some fucked up shit by the time the episode comes out

*a text box pops up on the screen saying “he in fact did do some fucked up shit during the editing process of the episode - jungwon” then disappears after a couple seconds.*

riki: you have no faith in me

yn: simply stating the facts

jungwon: you guys ready for me to sign in?

kat: go for it man *she nods at jungwon who smiles back. jungwon adjusts himself and looks to the camera*

jungwon: beep beep! you’ve arrived in yap central i am your host today, jungwon or aang. starting from my far left we have.

kat: toph

riki: zuko

yn: katara!

giselle: azula

sunoo: appa!! *he shows off his fuzzy appa bucket hat, earning a smile from all of you*

yn: sunoo i love you please don’t die

*sunoo looks at you in horror as the others burst out laughing*

jungwon: anyways.. *nervous laugh* the cycle is complete so today is a deep episode!

giselle: oh my god last time i literally bawled on my way home

kat: won you always pick the most brutal questions

sunoo: i cannot believe you asked us if the younger versions of ourselves would like the us now. like that is so ugh

riki: look at the way he’s smiling i think it’s something torturing again

*jungwon grins evilly at everyone making the rest of you groan in both discomfort and agony.*

jungwon: starting with my first question! what is a positive impact you have noticed on each of us. let’s start with sunoo. you guys don’t have to go one at a time just build it up.

sunoo: okay well.. lay it on me. *he looks to the rest of you, nervously, then shocked at who speaks up first*

riki: you laugh a lot more

*giselles eyes widened as riki spoke, the rest of you sharing the same reaction. everyone stayed quiet so riki could talk.*

riki: like when we were in highschool you always seemed to be bothered, or like you just never really were happy. and i think when we started doing this and you started tiktok you’ve been a lot happier

yn: i was honestly gonna say the same thing. you seem happier when we go out sunoo, like you want to be there.

sunoo: i feel a lot happier, honestly it sounds stupid but doing this with you guys does make me really happy.

kat: i agree. i mean i really wouldn’t trade it for anything.

giselle: awww look at us having our moment!

*both you and sunoo giggle at giselles comment, jungwon nodding to giselle, signaling she’s next*

kat: giselle, you don’t really care what people have to say about you anymore.

jungwon: ahhhh i was gonna say that

kat: like you seem so much more confident now than you did before.

giselle: when though? because i feel like i just started feeling like this overnight.

yn: if i were to pinpoint a time frame id say when you broke up with [BLEEP]

sunoo: no i COMPLETELY agree, like there’s a brightness to you now.

giselle: aw thank you guys *she pouted then smiled*

jungwon: guys please be nice to me.

riki: you’ve always been a natural born leader. i just think you’ve always been positive.

yn: i agree but there’s like a glow to him now

kat: oh my god are you pregnant?

*everyone looks at kat then bursts out laughing. some of you stop but jungwon and giselle can’t stop laughing.*

sunoo: oh my god it has something to do with who gave you that bracelet

jungwon: sunoo seriously *his cheeks turn pink, hand now covering the friendship bracelet*

giselle: oooo who made it for you?

jungwon: it was a mutual swap

yn: mutual swap.. or she gave you that wap?

*the others start laughing again, jungwon as well. riki daps you up*

riki: that was a bar

jungwon: i’m not admitting anything.. on camera.

everyone: OOOOOOOO

jungwon: next! go flame yn!!

yn: not fair, we weren’t even done with you

jungwon: don’t care, you’re not as closed off as you used to be

riki: oh my god yeah, when we were kids you were so shy

yn: really? i feel like im still in my little shell

kat: no i get what they mean. i mean even when i met you, you were really shy.

yn: thank you?

riki: i think jungwon means it in the way that you’re more open to meeting others now. like you enjoy being a people person

yn: ahhh, i see now. i guess the podcast really helped with that. like seeing people say how they enjoy my little bits and just things like that. it sounds conceited but it almost made me feel like people actually valued me? you know.

giselle: i get it, it doesn’t sound conceited babe

yn: okay i don’t like this much attention

giselle: this sounds weird to say but riki has gotten nicer atleast to us

kat: yeah i see

riki: die

sunoo: glad to know you haven’t changed..

jungwon: guess someone doesn’t wanna open up today

riki: oh would you look at that! it’s kats turn!!

yn: i think kats tells us a lot more now. like before you never really told us anything about yourself.

kat: i just have trust issues, it was nothing personal.

giselle: it’s true it took her so long to open up to me

riki: i honestly think the podcast brought out the best in us. surprisingly enough

jungwon: i see what you mean. maybe another way to put it is that we realized how much closer the camera brought us

giselle: or this friendship is just a ploy for jungwon to make more money off of us

*everyone laughs*

sunoo: we’re such coworkers

yn: heard it here first!! giselle hates her friends

giselle: can you stop with that *laughs*

yn: oh i’ll drag it through the mud

giselle: then i’ll drag yn[BLEEP] through the mud

*everyone laughs even harder now, you side eyeing giselle.*

sunoo: she kinda got you there

yn: let’s move on?

jungwon: speaking of relationships. *you glare jungwon down as he chuckles a little, looking at his phone once more.* how do you guys think social media affected your relationships and how do you think social media just influences how you view yourself. you can answer it in any order.

sunoo: i feel like having a presence on social media just makes having a relationship so much harder.

giselle: it kinda does, like people just expect for you to lay out your entire lives on social media.

jungwon: i think it depends on what kind of person you’re with, it’s almost like that person has to be up to your fans standards you know.

yn: i think there’s some people who can be normal about it but at the same time you have to be okay with everyone knowing everything about you.

kat: yeah but then it just shows that people online think that we don’t deserve privacy. it’s fucked up like they’re borderline stalking us you know?

*riki glanced at you as kat spoke, noticing how you stiffened at the word stalking*

riki: a lot of people aren’t okay online, it’s weird. like being so obsessed with someone to the point of finding out their personal information

giselle: if that ever happened to any of us i really don’t know what i would do.

jungwon: i think i honestly would try to sue you know. you have to be a certain level of fucked to do something like that.

yn: yeah, i agree it’s so weird.

kat: i kinda don’t wanna sound like a pick me

riki: just say it, you won’t sound like one.

kat: it’s so much harder being a girl with a social media presence.

sunoo: the fact that you had to hesitate to even say that says everything

jungwon: i really don’t get it either, like i’ve seen both women and men do the same things online and sometimes the guy is worse than the girl and yet it’s always the girl getting attacked and harassed.

giselle: i think it’s because people just view girls as easy targets almost. like a girl could do something completely normal and the internet would spin it to make her a villain

yn: it’s disgusting really, no one really ever really wants to side with a girl.

jungwon: do the comments still get you guys? i mean i know it was really bad in the beginning

kat: actually no i remember when it got bad. it got bad that episode where [BLEEP]

*jungwon and giselle glance at each other then start laughing*

giselle: remind me to edit that out.

yn: honestly no, the comments don’t bother as much anymore. after a while i realized that they’re just saying this because they have nothing else to talk about so i just stopped looking.

kat: i agree, it gets better when you just stop reading the comments all together.

riki: god please take periods away from women and give it all to me.

*you and kat give riki a look then burst out laughing, sunoo jungwon and giselle following that.*

sunoo: can’t stay serious for a second

riki: i would never joke about women in pain

*jungwon and kat keep laughing as riki goes on, unable to take him seriously*

yn: going back to the original question i just think it’s hard, like seeing people overstep a boundary or intrude on your life and just be okay with it

sunoo: and people just say oh well you asked for this um? no i didn’t actually i just wanted post skincare videos

*jungwon snorts, causing a chain reaction for everyone else to laugh*

kat: im glad we haven’t cried in this episode yet.

giselle: oh my god don’t jinx it he still has two more questions

jungwon: you might cry at this next one *kat sends a look to jungwon and he gives her an evil smile* my next question is what changes have we seen in one another as we’ve grown up together. it can be good or bad.

riki: jungwons lost it this is so similar to the first question

yn: i feel like he means overall

jungwon: thank you! atleast someon listens to me

yn: *you look around shocked and confused* oh my god.. did you guys hear that? was that a ghost?

*jungwon stares at you as everyone else laughs at your joke*

sunoo: so are we gonna go around in a circle?

jungwon: no how about.. the person sitting across from you. like riki sits across from giselle so they can say it about each other

kat: wait i wanna start

sunoo: this is too much pressure

kat: *she stares at sunoo and smiles warmly* sunoo i admire your love for us. like i don’t know you always support all of us no matter what and i feel like as we’ve grown closer you just have so much love to give

giselle: that’s so adorable

riki: sunoo i love your videos please don’t die

sunoo: STOP WITH THAT JOKE *he turns to look at kat* thank you kat i love you. i have to say sometimes i feel like you don’t tell us everything but it’s okay, just because we’re your friends doesn’t mean we have to know everything about you. i just want you to know that we’ll always listen no matter what.

*kat stares at sunoo as he smiles at her, then looks down when she feels tears welling up in her eyes. riki looks at giselle and jungwon panicked as they pass him the box of tissues.*

yn: aw babe *you frown looking at her as she lifts her head up to see tears streaming down her cheeks*

sunoo: wait i didn’t mean to make you cry

kat: it’s okay i jinxed myself

*everyone laughs slightly, still worried about her. sunoo moves his mic and gets up to hug kat. they stay like that for a few seconds until he lets go, patting her head. he says something but the mic can’t pick it up then walks back to his seat.*

kat: it’s not that i don’t want there was just a time where i felt like no one really care you know?

jungwon: you’re not obligated to tell us everything, but we care more than you think even if we have weird ways of showing it. *he glares at riki who only throws his hands up*

*the rest of you laugh at riki’s reaction and even kat lets out a chuckle after wiping her tears*

kat: to the viewers watching.. this never happened i am mysterious and batman doesn’t cry

giselle: nurse.. she’s out again

riki: okay giselle! lay it on me! *claps his hands together*

giselle: you use being mean as a cover up you actually care a lot about what people think but you use being rude or mean as a shield.

*sunoo gasps, the rest of you stare in silence because giselle is 100% right*

riki: okay cut the cameras

jungwon: i mean she’s not wrong

riki: if you wanted me to cry it’s not gonna happen

giselle: i know

riki: i hate you guys

sunoo: yeah sure you do

riki: well, since you want a taste of your own medicine *riki clears his throat* you shouldn’t get into another relationship, atleast until you evaluate how you act during them.

giselle: excuse me?

jungwon: weird ass time to admit your feelings

riki: you’re a weirdo that’s not how i meant it

yn: well then how did you mean it

kat: i’m curious

riki: every time i've seen you get into a relationship you just stop acting like yourself. you’re less confident and it’s almost as if you change yourself to please the guy you’re with. I just don’t like seeing any of my friends like that.

*all of you stare in silence at giselle, the air feeling heavy as she pushes her mic away and mumbles something to jungwon then ups and leaves.*

yn: um. is she okay?

jungwon: she needs a second

riki: was it something i said?

jungwon: it’ll be okay, she just said she needs a second.

sunoo: she’ll be okay guys, let’s move on yeah?

yn: okay well.. jungwon i think you bottle a lot of things up, intentional or not.

jungwon: *he sighs, crossing his arms* it’s not intentional i just think you guys have too many worries on your own plates to worry about mine.

kat: even if we have a lot going on that’ll never stop us from wanting to know what’s going on won

jungwon: i know i guess it’s just hard? to admit i need help?

sunoo: there’s never anything wrong with that

jungwon: thanks guys

riki: yeah yeah

jungwon: okay yn, im glad you like yourself more

kat: um

riki: wow!

sunoo: that is certainly a statement

yn: excuse me??

jungwon: no i worded that terribly

*the 5 of you burst out laughing at jungwons poor word choice. within this time giselle walks back in, closing the door slightly. the mics can’t pick it up but riki mouths “im sorry” to her. causing her to shake her head and smile. “it’s good” she mouths back making him smile back.*

jungwon: what i mean to say is that you’re more confident now. not just about yourself but your videos too. i’m glad to see this change in you

yn: thank you won, it means a lot

jungwon: of course

giselle: well this was certainly an episode

yn: one of us always ends up crying

sunoo: that sadist probably likes it too

jungwon: woah? the term isn’t sadist

*the rest of you laugh*

sunoo: let’s have a group hug! everyone up on your feet

*sunoo stands up, kat and giselle following suit. you and jungwon stand up and riki groans, then reluctantly stands up. the 6 of you huddle around one another and go for a group hug. the mics can’t pick up your voices but the recording has slight shuffling and giggles from you 6. after a couple seconds you pull apart and sit back down in your respective seats.*

giselle: i love you guys

kat: me too

sunoo: me three

jungwon: me four

yn: me five

*everyone looks at riki who only rolls his eyes*

riki: me six..

jungwon: well guys hope you enjoyed your stay in yap central we hope you didn’t cry too much. i have been your host jungwon and please make sure to check out our links in this description and like, share, subscribe, and comment! till next time!!

previous masterlist next

AUTHORS NOTE » lol UMMMMMMM sorry guys i didnt realize how long it had been without an update WE ARE SO BACK THO

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[rosemariad]

THE BITTER END | SPN 15x18 DESPAIR: About that Destiel moment in 15x18

Oh boy…the scene that sailed a thousand memes (and counting)…the scene that made us all go feral in the midst of a contentious presidential elections in one of the most disruptive, chaotic years in recent memory (2020 you son of a bitch)

Now i am super late with this since it’s nearly been 4 years since this was aired live on TV and posted like crazy all over the internet BUT…y’all Destiel shippers got robbed. Not just with this scene but the whole Destiel ship in general - just done so dirty.

I started watching this show on and off back in 2021 and I finally got to finish over the summer this year (2024) taking my sweet time, even rewatching certain episodes (for some fanfic writing 😁). I went into this to settle the debate for myself - is this Destiel stuff legit? Or was it taken out of context? Misconstrued.

No. It really wasn’t. They (the powers behind SPN) tried it, tried to pull the wool over people’s heads, with certain fans chiming in (the destiel haters, the homophobes, the anti-mishas, etc.) but no. The SPN showrunners fucked all this up.

From the beginning….

So it’s 15x18 despair - we’re in the last act - shit’s popping off, everything’s going tits up - Billie is trying to hunt Dean down, calling him chaos incarnate. Dean & Cas get trapped in a room with no apparent means of escape or defense - probably should’ve headed for the exit - but I guess since it’s the 3rd to last episode and the execs clearly want things to go back to the status quo 🙄 now’s as good a time as any to cash in on that plot thread from last season and kill Castiel once and for all 😭 (as 1 person pointed out, given the prior context they probably could've just waited Billie out, since them being trapped in that room - Cas was the one that blocked the door anyhow - but I get it SPN showrunners you wanted to get rid of Cas somehow - what a mess)

If you haven’t watched it - here’s where I gasp and scoff in disbelief - please watch it https://youtu.be/l_r9GZeQl1w?si=uVox8PlXByYEYKci

Basically Cas tells Dean he’s the greatest guy he’s ever known, that he fights for love and that Cas lurves Dean 😭 and he’s not the bad things enemies say Dean is. That he’s more than the worst parts of himself - oh Cas.

This was Castiel’s one moment of true happiness - telling the one person whom he adores more than anyone or anything else in the entire universe - that he is loved by Castiel himself.

The confession that triggers Castiel’s demise to go with the empty, takes Billie with him and before Dean can process the massive TRUTH BOMB Castiel just dumped on him, Castiel is gone.

Despair indeed.

They made too many fucking cuts to this scene, at least for Jensen’s coverage. Like if you don’t want Dean to reciprocate…fine. Don’t. But let him fucking respond! Let him use his words. Castiel just told Dean he was in love with him, that is one of the BIGGEST things you can say to somebody in your life. EVER. Especially on TV. And yes it was in love, like romantically. Not platonically because why make such a fucking fuss over fucking platonic friendship! There’s always been a tension between these 2 characters, it hung over between them since season 4. They just made it into a joke, never expecting to get the traction it did over the years. They even tried writing Cas off the show for good back in season 7. But they got stuck with Cas and never really made proper use of him. They literally just waited until the last minute to get rid of him in a way that couldn’t get the show cancelled until that decision had already been made by the network. to make things worse - COVID happened

So don’t tell me the confession doesn’t merit a response, either for or against on Dean’s part - whether he returns Castiel’s affection or not is another story but dammit let Dean speak! How could you not? Cowards!

And Would it be so terrible if Dean did feel something MORE than friendship for the only other individual that has stood by him for so many years? Like really? A relationship doesn’t demand sex (but let’s be honest, Cas probably wanted to fuck the shit outta Dean 🤣) it’s whatever the people in the relationship want! Dean isn’t young by the time s15 rolls around. Older people tend to just want someone to come home to, settle down with. Companionship. Cas fits that to a fucking T. When Dean dreamed of a future, Cas was right there with him (and Sam, cuz Dean always wants his family close as much as he can, given how he grew up).

Couldn’t find a gif of Dean talking about taking some time off after all the craziness of the hunting they do but I’m not crazy I know he wanted it.

The team behind SPN could have finished Dean’s narrative beautifully as man who was driven by fear all his life and opens himself up to a relationship he never saw coming but when the time came he didn’t run because he grew to love more than fear (and choose to live a life of peace after stuck in one of violence for so many years).

This is why Hollywood is shit! Great beginnings, shitty endings. But in this case, it was because they consistently chose NOT to indulge in queer-like narratives with enough care (aside from some other problematic stuff like the treatment towards women being more negative than positive, the inconsistent writing for characters and plot, etc.)

BUT not when it’s the main character 😡 Charlie can be gay AF but not Dean, seriously? That’s fucked. Like at least let him fucking explore/consider it. So people stop watching it who gives AF?! I never even watched the show when it was on air for 15 years, tons of people didn’t. There are still people out there watching SPN for the first time today! People who started but stopped because it’s a show that ran WAAAY longer than any other normally does.

Idk who made it so that Dean couldn’t explore his sexuality or fucked up the Destiel of it all but they SUUUUUUUUCK! You really shat the bed! at least explore it cuz at the end of the day, it may not work out. Gay relationships aren’t that different from straight relationships in that sometimes it just doesn’t work out BECAUSE we’re ALL people. And who knows maybe they could’ve been happy but we’re not allowed to know that canonically because Destiel was never given a CHANCE!

I mean if it was REALLY that big a deal – why introduce it? By making these little suggestions that (in a way that's funny but why would Dean be queer be haha funny - no that's not okay, queerness shouldn't be a joke) furthermore we’re talking about a show on basic cable - all it would’ve taken was fucking hand-holding or the same routine of staring into each other’s eyes like they’d been doing for 12 fucking years already! Just not shying away from the queerness that time. Legend of Korra did it. That 1 Disney show did it (i don’t remember the name). No kissing would’ve been necessary - nice, wishful thinking but not necessary if the kissing became an issue (but seriously it was 2020 man but ofc - that is a year where a pandemic that required social distancing decided to kick in during the final arc of this show) - just so we’re all clear COVID cock blocked Destiel lol jk 🤣

All those times they had Dean & Cas stare into each other's eyes – the forces at work – showrunners, writers, directors AND editors & the network who is showing this to audiences – if its such a big fucking deal - Don't leave it in. By leaving it in, you're allowing people to make assumptions about the relationship – it happens literally every time in every story ever told. You put 2 people in a scene and they're not family (though not always the case) or JUST friends (explicitly proven) there's a chance SOMEONE is gonna wanna ship them no matter how likely it is (OR NOT) they'll hookup or become a couple. That's just how it is. So don't fan the flames and then turn it around on fans that they're wrong, crazy or misinterpreting. If Wincest can exist, so can Destiel and any other ship. That being said, y’all Destiel shippers were ROBBED but I don’t need to tell you that.

I don’t think the relationship would’ve been perfect or smooth sailing - their friendship as it was on the show sure wasn’t. And Dean wasn’t the only one with issues - Cas had some bad qualities too - the angel liked to lie and for a while there he was extremely averse to conflict. And Dean…he gets real fucking angry 😬 not a good mix for a relationship- hell even a friendship.

But the two had a profound bond, with a great deal of affection for one another and that’s what got them through betrayal, fights, amnesia, curses, apocalypses, and all the ugliness in between. They could’ve made it. Or they could’ve just had Cas and Dean stay friends - but we’ll never know since Cas was pretty much omitted after 15x18 - there were references - like only 2 though 😒

Really SPN? 😒😔 so lazy. But sure, go ahead, blame COVID. It’s not like phones exist. It’s not like the actor couldn’t have just recorded Castiel’s voice nope. Totally not an option 🤦🏾‍♀️ same goes for the other characters - Jody, Donna, Eileen - you know all the other characters Sam & Dean cared about but sure - fuck ‘em too. Status quo is the only thing that matters - SMH.

[thesockghost]

Ok so everyone knows today’s Halloween special was fucking nuts, so I wanna share my thoughts on it:

!!!SPOILERS AHEAD!!! SCROLL PAST THIS AND GO WATCH THE S.A.M.S 2024 HALLOWEEN SPECIAL FIRST IF YOU HAVENT BECAUSE IT IS FUCKING PEAK!!!

Ok to start us off, I’d just like to say that the acting from Davis In this episode is amazing. I could genuinely feel the pain in sun’s voice as he begged for dark sun not to make him chose between nexus and moon, so kudos to Davis! You nocked it out of the park with the acting in this as always!

And on that topic, I’d just like to say that the moment dark sun asked sun if he now truly hates nexus doges the question is genuinely heartbreaking. Because there’s two ways to interpret it: one, that he does genuinely hate nexus and feels guilty for genuinely hating someone who he once called brother. or two, deep down he really does still care if even a little bit for nexus, which makes the fact that he has to kill nexus hit even harder.

Now I’d like to talk about the very interesting parallels between dark sun and nexus in this episode:

Nexus until the very end tried to escape is identity as a “moon”, but in the process went down the exact same path many other moons have gone down in his own way, by torturing his loved ones, especially his sun, just like many moons have before.

Dark sun on the other hand has basically done everything he could to successfully make himself everything BUT a sun, but still clings onto his identity as a “sun”.

To quote him exactly: “I’m sun. I’m every sun that you’ve ever met, that you ever will meet, that you’ve never met and will never meet. I’m you, I’m me, I’m sun.”. Now, while yes, he is technically correct, he still has the body and origins of most, if not all suns. But the moment he killed his moon and combined his own intelligence with his moon’s, that universe’s sun died. Both literally and metaphorically. He combined his code with his moon’s so therefore he is now technically an eclipse-, but also the moment he let his intrusive thoughts and desires win, the real sun died and nothing but an empty husk wearing his face remained.

To quote eclipse from the very first season of the show, sun’s a good person, but he wants to do so many horrible things. Key-word being “want”.

Despite everything, despite all of his horrible thoughts, he never acts on them. Nor any other sun rather than dark sun. We all have intrusive thoughts and feelings that can make us feel like disgusting human beings, but we almost never act on them. The sun could burn all of us up in an instant, yet it remains millions of miles away and gives us nothing but light and warmth. THATS what makes our sun something more than just a close by star. THATS what “being a sun” means in this story. Therefore because dark sun has given up caring for those who surround him, because he finally burned so bright and hot he let all around him fall to ashes, he can never truly consider himself anything but an average star again.

[adorawasright]

Hello! I just saw ur post saying g hintlow is badly written in your opinion. Could you please tell me why you think so? I'm kinda curious?

I also didn't really like huntlow since it kinda came outta no where all of a sudden but what do you think??

*cracks knuckles* (just kidding lol)

Honestly, I just think H/untlow has several writing problems. I'll be pointing out the main reasons I think so under the cut. If anyone who follows me or comes across this post ships H/untlow, it's totally fine, just please don't send me hate for what I'll say here:

Hunter and Willow have nothing in common. The show forces the "half a witch" thing onto Hunter despite the fact he was never called that anywhere in the show, he's usually just called annoying or a brat. Besides, Hunter could be a metaphor for disability considering he doesn't have natural magic powers (until the show decided to kill off Flapjack, but I'll get into that later). However, Willow is not the case. She may not be good at abomination magic, but she's incredibly powerful with plant magic. But for some reason, the show treats these experiences as equals, even though that's a thing Hunter has more in common with Luz than Willow (and in this case I'm not talking through a romantic lens).

Hunter and Willow are out of character. Hunter, the prodigy and the emperor's right hand, becomes utterly pathetic and wimpy just so Willow can look like a badass girlboss. And Willow then just comes off as cruel sometimes. I appreciate Willow for being nice but also being a badass, but even then, Willow was never cruel prior to her meeting Hunter. She apologized to Luz when she realized she could've hurt her, and when Willow met Gus she was patient and understanding, teaching him a breathing technique to calm him down. I'm not saying Willow has to be overly nice, but she just randomly captures Hunter to make him join her flyer derby team. And at this point she doesn't even know that Hunter is the Golden Guard, so she just... attacks a random kid and scares him for no reason. Worse yet the fact that she drags him into the ground THE SAME WAY BELOS DOES in Hollow Mind. Even after Hunter tells her he's "half a witch", Willow isn't patient with him, she's just a brute again. Which is my next point:

Unhealthy power dynamic. Hunter refers to Willow as "captain", and it's honestly a red flag to me. I am NOT saying Willow is abusive. However, we have to remember that Hunter's abuser uses his position of power to mistreat him. Hunter looks up to someone who's not an equal to him and in turn, he does not value himself. And Willow never seems to realize it and explicitly say that she's not his leader, she's his friend. This pairing is basically the girlboss/malewife model, but not only does it not make sense, it's not healthy for Hunter to fall in love with someone who has power over him, and who might be paralleled to his abuser as I pointed out before.

Ruined character arcs. I think most of us agree that Hunter's character arc was unsatisfactory as he became another Caleb without ever processing it, but Willow was definitely done dirty as well. Willow never had her own episode, not even Understanding Willow was about her, it was more about Amity. Any Sport in a Storm also focuses more on Hunter. Even Gus had more character development than Willow, despite the fact he was also done dirty in the end. Willow's breakdown wasn't carefully developed, it was never hinted in Thanks to Them or anywhere before that. It came out of nowhere in For the Future, and in turn it just pushed Hunter's character (and Gus, literally) aside so he could save Willow. And this is yet ANOTHER point I hate:

Willow only reciprocates Hunter's crush when he gains powers. Seriously, for the longest time I didn't even think H/untlow was going to be mutual. Only Hunter seemed to be attracted to Willow, by blushing and being shy around her. Willow never seems to see Hunter in another light in the following episodes, not even in Thanks to Them despite them living with each other for months. That only happens in For the Future, which left a bad taste in my mouth. Like I said before, Hunter might be considered disabled, but his disability is "cured" with magic, and ONLY THEN does Willow fall for him. That contradicts the entire message of the show, which welcomes and celebrates disabilities.

And overall, Hunter and Willow never have a genuine emotional connection. Hunter has more connection and things in common with Luz, Gus, and even Amity (and sadly, his parallels with Amity were never really explored after Eclipse Lake). Hunter and Luz don't have magical powers. Hunter and Gus are both taken advantage of by others, and they have an identity crisis, not knowing how to trust themselves anymore. Hunter and Amity then, they were both raised in an abusive household and they're expected to be someone they're not, and they have to push everyone else down so they can be better. But Hunter and Willow don't share this kind of connection. They might touch on the "half a witch" thing but that never deepens. And in For the Future, it comes off as rushed, and Hunter has to push down his grief for Flapjack to save Willow. Not to mention Gus and Hunter never get to talk about Caleb - Gus always knew about Hunter's secret, and not even THAT gets a satisfying payoff because the show is more concerned in making H/untlow canon. But that would have to be its own post.

Sorry this got long, lmao. I have very strong feelings about how H/untlow was handled. I actually used to ship it at first, I think it COULD'VE worked. But they don't even seem to be close friends at the very least. It sucks because even R/aeda was written better despite the fact it had less screentime than L/umity. Sure, Eda and Raine were ex-lovers, but I thought their relationship was written very well for the most part. I don't know how the writers dropped the ball with H/untlow this way.

[eclecticwordblender]

i’ve never found the courage to talk about this anywhere else for the fear of knowing nobody is actually going to understand.

when i was 16, i met a 19 y/o man who was interested in me. at that point of time, i was quite vulnerable, my first boyfriend was in my class and was dating another classmate of ours. as a 16 y/o it was a terrible situation to be in really. receiving attention from an older male who was quite attractive and i knew for a fact had women his age interested in him felt real nice to me.

my ex and i had planned on having sex, together, for the first time but that didn’t happen. obviously in my teenage angst and stupidity i was sucked into a situationship with an older man (a 3 year age gap is actually huge at that age). now, i did technically consent to having sex with him (although one might argue that minors cannot consent, let’s ignore that for a moment). but when we were finally about to do it, i didn’t feel very good about it, i wanted him to stop. he started to kiss me, pin my hands up aggressively, just blocking any way i could let him know i was saying no.

at that moment, i just told myself there was no way he could’ve known i wanted him to stop. but in retrospect, i feel he blocked my no intentionally. this was also the first time i had sex, ever.

i did not have words to describe this experience, i still don’t. for months i did not even realise what was happening was not okay. he suddenly started to exhibit violent behaviours. and honestly, i was scared of him. he would break things around me, yell at me. i wanted to end things but was simply too scared to. often times i would initiate physical intimacy just to avoid his aggression even when i absolutely did not want to. he became overly possessive, and for the fear of his aggression, i started to avoid talking to men altogether. i started to convince myself that i liked this.

until, until one day things got out of hand. he had a problem with me interacting with someone i deeply cared about. i refused to comply and he hit me. i walked out of his apartment straight, blocked him, ended whatever was going on.

surprise surprise! my fears regarding him materialised. he would stalk me. i was so scared i stopped going for tuitions (big culture of after school tutoring where i live) which directly affected my performance in school. i used to go to school with a friend but i was so scared i started asking my parents to drop me and pick me up whenever i went to school, avoiding it on most days. all in all, i feared leaving my house at all.

i didn’t share this with my parents or anyone else (this is literally the first time i’m speaking up about this in details). i didn’t know what to say. later this man threatened me saying that if i do not meet him, he would leak compromised pictures/videos of me. i was almost sure he did not have any. i never consented to any recordings or pictures. i told him to fuck off. i knew he was bluffing. all said and done, i was still a minor and he was still an adult. whatever harm he could do to me and whatever satisfaction that would bring him wasn’t worth the trouble it could potentially land him in.

eventually he got tired and left me alone. i found out a couple of weeks later he was dating someone else. this girl was my age too. i wanted to warn her but i was to frightened to do anything that might trace me back to him.

i’m 22 now. i don’t think i have still processed this entire episode completely. i have tuned out a lot of my memories because it is simply too much to handle. i often confuse memories of sex with him with sex with my ex boyfriend as a coping mechanism of sorts. i only realised this when i once mentioned something to my ex boyfriend and he said but that never happened between us and honestly that petrifies me about what else i might be missing out.

i’ve never been able to share this episode in detail with anyone, even with my friends who were aware about me being involved with this man. i once tried to talk about this with my ex boyfriend but he dismissed me as soon as i started talking about it on the grounds that oh you’ve had sex with a lot of people and i haven’t (i haven’t either btw, idk why he keeps saying that. anyway it was also extremely irrelevant). i shut up.

(i feel so much better just writing this comprehensively. sharing this even with strangers on tumblr feels liberating in a lot of ways. i hope all of us women can heal from all the terrible things men have done to us)

[campoverlook-if]

Progress Update #9// 10/30/24

Hey everyone, look who's almost a whole month late. Unfortunately, this will not be a post about the demo update. But please don't worry, the project is not being cancelled.

I’ve been holding off on releasing the update because I don’t feel it’s quite ready yet. I really dislike going back on my promises, and I’m genuinely sorry for the delay. But I'm doing this because I feel this will be better for my overall personal process. I've written close to 20k words since the beginning of the month and I just don't want anyone seeing it yet.

Moving forward, I think it would be best to update the demo only once each episode is complete, rather than posting sporadically as I have been. I was so excited to get the story out there with the first episode, but there's so many points that I could have done better if I hadn't put time limits for myself.

So yes, for now on, I'll only update the demo once an episode has been finished. I hope you understand and I appcrecite all the support everyone has given me so far.

With that said, I hope what I say next will be seen as some good news.

I realize I haven’t posted a proper progress report since July, which was around the time I got sick. As I've said before it was just the flu (which I get literally every year), and I'm back to 100% by now. It did make me sluggish for a long while though and I sorta lost my motivation to keep up with the blog.

But, now that I've gotten all this stuff off my chest, I'd really like to go back to those weely updates and go back to answering questions. I'm sorry to everyone who asked if I was okay and didn't get a reply, I was just kinda embarrassed at my long absence to be honest.

That’s all I wanted to share, thank you for reading if you’ve made it this far. I completely understand if anyone is unsure about the future of this project and would prefer to unfollow until it’s closer to being finshed. I worry about its future too, but I'm committed to seeing it through.

Thank you again, and see you all on Monday!

[saglaophonos]

i keep seeing ppl talk about 1941 theories where *something happened* afterwords, and do you know why that is? i haven’t rewatched the 1941 minisode in a hot minute, but was there stuff there that gave off the impression that more happened? /gen

oh that’s a great question and i would love to answer it. there is nothing especially suggestive that something else happened in 1941 apart from aziraphale claiming to have also done the apology dance that year in an earlier episode. however i have always loved the idea of going back to 1941 in s3, which i dont see as a “theory” in so much as i see it as a great place of potential for the story. personally, i see the original 1941 scene as an integral part of the creative process behind s1 for reasons i won’t reiterate here when i can just link you to the post i made about it.

there is something to be said about how 1941 is the only flashback we return to in s1 and s2. the “rule of threes” girlie in me just thinks about how if there are going to be three seasons, there ought to be three 1941 scenes. “nightingale in berkeley square” is literally a song about two lovers spending the night together until dawn….1941 is a long night, but we haven’t seen dawn yet. ultimately there’s great storytelling potential in telling a three part flashback that you can only understand the impact of in its totality once you’ve seen the last part.

if i can predict anything about what neil gaiman may or may not do as a writer, i know he enjoys subverting audience expectations and preheld assumptions - i mean, look to the opening of s2 during the pre-fall scene. i could very easily see a return to 1941 being the opening of s3 and functioning in a similar way in retconning the story in the present. in fact i have written my pitch for what i think that would look like lol

so to answer your question! nothing has especially gave off an impression that the story will go back to 1941. however i have full convinced myself that it is happening because it should lol. @moonyinpisces do you want to jump in here at all lmfao

[mcsm-confessions]

Lukas’ character is so overlooked because hes ‘hot’ and its genuinely terrible because i love analyzing his character SO much so let me dump some headcanons (?) or just rambles

I really, REALLY wish Lukas was more meaner throughout the witherstorm arc if you were mean to him as Jesse. His charming and kind demeanor is a huge part of his character, and I admire him for that, but if you chose the worst dialogue options/story decisions (leaving him in the basement, telling him to stay away from Reuben, letting him leave the shelter, etc.) he just,,, takes it. The worst he does is call Jesse out for their actions and leave the cave, then apologizes to them one episode later. I was upset that Lukas felt the need to apologize to Jesse even though they were the one that excluded him in everything and treated him horribly and as if he weren’t apart of the team, and realized that Lukas’ easy forgiveness (?) might’ve derived from being around the ocelots. (uh oh this is where the rambling starts) Like,, this dude was around the worst people ever, I could imagine them doing the most god awful things and Lukas would have to apologize on their behalf. They literally became terrorists in episode to jealousy. I personally headcanon Lukas had been friends with the ocelot many years during the post witherstorm arc, but they, excluding Lukas, changed for the worse. Lukas believed that they could still be better, so he waited, and just became a bystander when it came to the ocelots bullying Jesse’s gang. He waited and waited until the day the ocelots ditched him for being apart of Jesse’s gang, (even though he quite literally risked his own safety to save them from the witherstorm’s grasp) and then just rebranded to the Blazerods. Despite having a good heart, being around terrible people influenced him a lot. And not in a ‘changing Lukas to be a bully’ way, it’s more-so a making him scared to show even an ounce of uncomfortableness or fear around his own friends. Whenever he’d try reasoning the ocelots, they, especially Aiden, would discard his feelings immediately. They’d probably make him feel sorry for even showing the slightest bit of emotion, thus leading him to apologize to Jesse even though he got heart. I’m not saying Lukas can’t stand up for himself, because he very much has on several occasions. But I am saying that he’s an empathetic guy and sensitive person at heart, also a HUGE people pleaser (which is confirmed, if I remember correctly). um ok im done projecting myself on Lukas. moving on!

I wanna talk about the injuries he gained throughout the portal arc. You cannot convince me he went out of the portal arc with absolutely no scars at all, especially with the things he had to bear through. Example, being punched by Aiden, tackled by a guard (if the player chose to follow Milo), and pushed off sky city. It was visible he was suffering from the pain of Aiden punching him then quick to push him off the island, because he asks Jesse if he can stay down in the surface because he doesn’t have enough strength to follow Jesse back up. This all happened in episode 7 by the way. And in episode 6, the worst thing I can remember is the white pumpkin shoving the mask on his head. With how quick Jesse was to arriving in the scene where Lukas got framed, Cassie probably hurt him in the process especially since his body was kinda wobbly (which derives from aches). Even though he looks okay after that occurrence, I can’t help but see him still suffering from the aches when he was encased in the closet. Moving onto episode 7, where I believe the worst injury happens. If the player doesn’t choose to save Lukas in Harper’s lab, Lukas has to endure having a mind-controlling chip literally implemented into his brain until the final battle. Also, he got electrocuted in the pama fight and had his hand punch through glass forcefully (he’s wearing a glove, yes, but his knuckles are exposed) and then went unconscious for a little while. And again, that chip was literally implemented into his BRAIN. That would leave some sort of scar or bleeding, or leave a long-lasting side effect even way past the end of season 1 and maybe even season 2. I headcanon he gets frequent aches in his head for absolutely no reason, specifically the back of his head where he got chipped, then pictures the traumatic memories of being mind-controlled to try kill Jesse in his head. Poor guy deserved a good break. Onto episode 8, I can only imagine him suffering from the pain of being crushed (Mevia mentioned that although the competitors do not actually die, they still have to endure the pain later on.) in the games. Also still feeling some side effects from the previous episodes. Mind you, the portal gang hopped through multiple portals without any breaks, and didn’t have the opportunity to do so because Harper immediately led them to the door to episode 8. It’s crazy how they went through all those portals and suffered from several injuries without any breaks at all, which would add up to the trauma they’d get from the portal arc.

Overall, I really love Lukas’ character. He’s fun to analyze, and his writing is so painfully overlooked by the writers themselves, but that means more analyzing and headcanons for me! He’s definitely one of my favorite characters ever, I feel like I can project myself so much onto him because he unnervingly is extremely similar to me. But that’s a biiig reason why he’s my favorite. Okay I’m done now

~~~

[themoonstarwarrior]

Why in Sam Hill would you assume that they are trying to quit when literally NOTHING has been resolved? Like at all?

Cuz of the fandom.

This show has EXPLODED. They are so popular that the fandom has reached the toxicity threshold. See the death threats when Solar died, or the entire character of Miku.

I've noticed a number of episodes, especially on the Monty and Foxy Show, where Davis breaks the fourth wall talking about how insane things has gotten. And maybe it's just him being in character, since more often than not he's playing Monty, but to me it always sounds exasperated and done. Reed has apparently had to deal with impersonation or identity theft or whatever it was. Multiple characters asking "why does this always happen" or "when will things get better" which I sometimes wonder if its actually the performers asking that. It's made me wonder for a while now if Davis and Reed still LIKE doing the show, or if it's gotten so popular and has such a rabid fanbase that they feel stuck and burdened by it.

So then this arc. More specifically the post-"what if Solar lived" part where things REALLY started going downhill. There have been people who were unhappy since the beginning of this (like me cough), but everything from the situation to the characters has gotten WORSE. I think it's safe to say that as of like three lore episodes ago (or whenever the "no longer brothers" one was), EVERYONE WHO WATCHES THIS SHOW IS UNHAPPY.

NO ONE LIKES WHATS HAPPENING.

EVERYONE IS UPSET.

There are probably quite a few fans who quit from this arc. Me and some of the fans I know on here have definitely stopped watching until things "get better". But the way the story is going, we dont know if it CAN get better. They have written themselves in a wall where there is NO WAYS of saving the MAIN CHARACTERS OR THEIR FAMILY DYNAMIC without a retcon or ass-pull.

This is ENTIRELY speculation, I do not know these people and I could be ENTIRELY off the mark, but it would make sense to me if you tried to make your super famous show hated or unpopular enough to get the pressure off so you could quit the show and do something you ACTUALLY WANTED TO DO. You wouldn't NEED to resolve anything cuz everyone's unsatisfied. Could means less backlash if they move on to other things.

Again, I dont have any grounds besides my own brain processes. Maybe they love doing the show and are just making dumb/unwanted narrative choices. But with how much EVERYONE is disappointed and fed up with the show, it makes me wonder if more of a cry for help or escape plan for the creators.

[lpsgirl109]

This is a post for @just-allovertheplace because they brought up a point on one of my Phin posts and I wish to elaborate

So when I say some of Phin's actions should've been a result of her own ignorance, I dont mean like, all. The attacks against Roxxon should absolutely be done from a place of hate, those fuckees killed her brother and are selling off nuform as a clean energy thing despite Knowing it's harmful. Everything against Roxxon is fine to have been malicious intent

What I mean with that post is I feel there should've been an emphasis on Phin not really thinking about the damage her attacks may cause to innocent people until after the fact. She's not putting civilians in harm's way just for shits and giggles, Roxxon is her first priority and her grief sort of blinds her to how she may be hurting others in the process. The reason I like to add her warning the people at the rally to run is that the fandom Loves using that scene to call Phin a horrible person for putting Rio in danger. And in my honest opinion, some of that can be equated to bad writing, since Phin is sort of all over the place in terms of her actions. I can definitely word this better when I finish my replay of the game but like, there's moments where the narrative villainizes her a bit Too much and it leads to people hating her more than sympathizing with her, which really doesn't work when the point of her arc was to make the player feel bad for her by the end, not cheer for her death.

This is why it works better for me if she's going into these attacks clouded by her own rage and not entirely understanding the consequences until after it has been done. She doesn't want to hurt innocent people, she wants to hurt Roxxon. She just doesn't realize innocent people Did get hurt until the action is already done. And one could say I'm watering her down and making her less evil or some shit, but I also do this because I don't really like how her or the Underground are handled in the game. You have to tread carefully when playing with the "character figting worse character is Doing It Wrong and is therefore just as bad" trope, especially in the context of the 'worse character' being a corrupt rich asshole in charge of a corrupt company who is knowingly making people extremely sick with his product just so he can sell it. And the game uses this trope pretty poorly, with how horrible Phin and the Underground are portrayed. The Underground is a literal terrorist organization and Phin herself shows no care for the people she hurts in the process of taking down Roxxon. She doesn't even care that the Underground is getting sick from handling the nuform, and that's a scene that really Icks me because there are Connotations behind saying the black girl trying to fight a huge corrupt organization that killed her brother has become no better than the white man who owns said organization and just about takes Pleasure in what he's doing. I really hope this is not a hot take and I am not the only one who thinks this.

Anyway, that's largely why in my rewrite, I tone down both Phin and the Underground a bit. If they were the only villains in the game and weren't fighting any sort of higher power, I'd probably be fine with them the way they are. It's the fact that their goal is to stop a large organization from harming the city with their product, and are written as terrorists who don't care about the innocent people they hurt that makes me look at them and go Hm. This was not handled well. At all. It's why in my opinion, Phin works best if her attacks are never meant to hurt innocent people, rather she's sort of in over her head and didn't think about the damage she'd be causing until it was too late. And like this also checks out when you remember she is an 18 year old girl, yeah she's gonna fuck up. Girliepop never even made it to her 20s /ref

Anyway this has been an episode of Peg Speaks

[queer-reader-07]

few things bother me more than people saying that it’s “dumb” or “intentional ignoring” or “impossible” to have interpreted crowley and aziraphale’s relationship platonically.

and look i could go on about all the things that do point to romance but enough people have done that so i’m gonna defend myself here and explain why i read them as platonic for so long and why i think it’s perfectly reasonable to have read them platonically.

and a disclaimer that all of this is from my perspective and my opinion. so if i make a statement as though it’s matter of fact, know that i’m speaking from my perspective and just can’t be bothered to preface every sentence with “in my opinion…”

and it mostly boils down to one thing: their love reflected the love me and my friends have for each other.

so no shit i interpreted them platonically because they looked like my real life platonic relationships!!

i’ve talked at length about how i think there’s a specificity to the way queer people love. i think there’s something special about the way queer people show love, especially platonic love.

here’s the thing. i’ve been mistaken as my best friend of 16 years’ girlfriend more than once. i’ve been mistaken as one of my other best friend’s partner so many times her friends were genuinely shocked when she got a boyfriend because they thought she was dating me.

i understand the whole “being so platonically in love that people think you’re also fucking” situation. i unironically live that situation on the regular. so naturally i assumed that’s what was happening with aziraphale and crowley.

my thought process was basically this

1) they love like i love (specifically, crowley loves like i love). therefore, they’re platonically in love.

2) weird, everyone on the internet is convinced they’re dating. something something everyone values romantic love over platonic love

3) well whatever they’re still platonic in my heart

and it stayed like that quite literally until i watched episode 6 of season 2. and you can tell me i was being oblivious all you want, but that doesn’t change the fact that i genuinely believed they were platonic. queer platonic? sure. but definitely not romantic.

i saw all the witty quips and banter between the two of them and didn’t read any sexual or romantic tension, i read friendship. i saw aziraphale damsel in distress-ing himself on the regular so crowley could save him and thought “well it’s the only way he can spend time with crowley. checks out”. and i saw the bandstand breakup and the burning bookshop and “you told my only friend to shut his mouth and die and i did. not. care. for it.” and aziraphale so desperately trying to shield crowley from the horrors of the world and obviously i saw love. a love that is deep and profound, yes. it just never read romantic to me because i would do and say all of those things for and to my friends.

one of the few things i will never cease to find joy in is my friendships. i will ALWAYS love loving the people close to me, i will ALWAYS support them, and most importantly, i ALWAYS want to protect them. even when i know what is going to happen is inevitable, i don’t want to see them hurt. i want to shield them from the cataclysmic experience of the human condition and only have to experience in the moments of joy that await them. i don’t want to see the people i love hurt or in pain or jaded by how fucked up the world is.

because i already am those things. i am jaded by the world, i’m constant falling into the pit of cynical despair that the state of the world can manage to throw you down. and i know how fucking hard it is to pull yourself out of that place, to find hope and move forward and allow yourself to even enjoy the love and support you do have in life.

and the last thing i ever want is for the people i love dearly to experience those things.

so yeah. i related hard fucking core to crowley and the way he loves aziraphale SO. FUCKING. DEEPLY. and of course i read it platonically because it’s platonic for me. so deeply platonic in the best way.

and i could go on about how a lot of this stems from how much i value platonic love. how much i don’t adhere to social norms of love and how people express love. i will loudly proclaim my love for my friends, because i love them. i’m in love with them. but that doesn’t mean i want to date them or kiss them. and that makes perfect sense to me, and if it doesn’t make sense to you. well then, idk what to tell you.

this is longer than i intended but my point is that it hurts seeing people who act like those of us who did genuinely read aziracrow as platonic the first go around are stupid or that we chose to ignore the romance.

because, to me at least, it always felt like people were calling the way i love stupid or that i’m actually ignoring my “real” feelings

[rahuratna]

I finished watching JJK Season 2 Ep. 18, and it is literally not okay. I take foreverrrr when I watch a new series because I *have to* savor every moment of it. Anyways, I finished Ep. 17 on July 2, so I purposely prolonged the next episode until after Nanami’s birthday since I knew what was going to happen but ended up procrastinating longer than intended…

I’m in literal tears right now and won’t sleep well for the next three nights. This is like the hardest I’ve ever cried for a character in forever 😭 😭

Can we discuss everything Nanami talked about on that episode? I’m sorry if I’m not clear in explaining my thoughts, the enormity of the loss of a fictional man feels incredibly real. I need more closure, and I am going to be rereading your fics too after for some much needed comfort ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

Nanami expressed his exhaustion. He was so tired. He wanted to go to Malaysia and read the books he meant to read but never had the time for. Instead he chose to “[come] back over some vague reason like a job worth doing.” Here he was confiding to Haibara about his purpose, one of the biggest motifs in JJK. It feels so raw and human, how Nanami has such simple and peaceful desires but he chose to give them up without a clear reason. Did he regret it? Did Nanami have a fulfilling life? Did he sacrifice too much?

(Speaking of regrets, have you watched Attack on Titan? It’s such a big theme in that show and I can’t help but draw parallels.)

Even though he said that he did enough (more than enough I believe), he followed this up with wondering how Fushiguro and Maki and Naobito were doing. It’s like an oxymoron. The implications here… I’m actually not okay 🥹. I think this means he had fulfilled his role as a jujutsu sorcerer, but it wasn’t enough to save all of his friends. He’d always continue to look out for them. Nanami cares so much and wants to protect them, and I think this answers my first question: he didn’t regret it in the end because he did the best he could. I don’t want to come off as overlooking all of Nanami’s losses and setbacks… I just want to know if Nanami’s fulfillment, his search for his enough, outweighed all of his sacrifices. That’s the closure I’m looking for.

Rest in peace, Nanami. I wish I could tell him that he was more than enough and beyond everything we could ever ask for. I learned so much from his character, and without him, I wouldn’t have such wonderful discussions with wonderful people. 💙💙🕊️🏝️

Oh my God, that episode destroyed me. I also had to take some time to process what had happened to a character who I genuinely loved and admired so much.

I think what hurts the most is that Nanami had such simple desires. He wanted to live his simple life and enjoy little pleasures, but his desire to protect and serve others, the way his heart was all-encompassing of these few people he cared about, really led him down a different path. He cared about the world. He cared about the younger generation. He cared about his colleagues and friends and he was such a kind and genuine person. This is what makes his death all the harder to cope with.

I also wondered, for so long, why the reasons surrounding his return to being a sorcerer were so vague. The part where he expresses how 'exhausted' he was was very significant to me. The flashbacks to his time as a salaryman, and also the way he deals with Haibara's death, show a common theme. He was always tired. Tired of having to live in a world where selfishness and greed is rewarded, tired of having to run in a meaningless rat race to achieve the small peace he so desired, exhausted by all the burdens placed on the shoulders of jujutsu sorcerers, on HIS shoulders.

What you mentioned really is the answer. He was exhausted, but for a much longer time than just in the scene leading up to his death. In that scene, he asks 'haven't I done enough?' in a way that's heartbreakingly plaintive, and to me, almost childlike in its simplicity. Yes, he'd done more than enough. He knew it. And yet, his own conscience, his own body, would not let him run from duty, from the people who he felt needed him.

If the timing has been slightly different, maybe Yuuji arriving earlier, or Nanami missing Mahito, then we could speculate on what may have occurred. Maybe he would have survived, if badly injured. Maybe he would have retired and found the life he always wanted. But his duty to the world of sorcery, since his life was empty of true purpose, would probably always have sucked him back in.

On the question of regret, I know exactly what you mean. There's too much for me to put in one post, but I will say this. The only occasions when Nanami appeared truly at peace, or when he actually smiled, were occasions when he was in mortal danger (like being trapped in Mahito's domain in their second fight at the school). When he takes his glasses off and remains so cool, looks so peaceful even, he says that he has no regrets, because he chose to live a life where he could use his skills to help people. He says that their gratitude is all he needs, implying that he defines himself by how much he can help others.

I think, at the end, that Nanami's exhausted plea was the cry of a human being, as if to a parent or deity. Why me? Why do I have to suffer like this? Everyone asks that question at some point. In his case, he answers that immediately by wondering about the safety of the others. I do think that Nanami would have wanted, desperately, that peaceful life for himself. I think he would have, as an ordinary man, harbored resentment and questioned why he had to give up so much for a corrupt and greed-driven world. What he didn't regret was saving the people who he cared about, the people who inhabit that world, and that thought gives me some peace. 🧡🧡💛💛

I have watched AoT, so let me know your thoughts about sacrifice, too, and the parallels you draw. I'd love to hear them!

[azquine]

Can I get something on the JoanFK tag that ISN'T just complaining? It is ok to be feeling shit that things went badly in the show, but do you have to tag that negativity on the ship? The negativity is all that there is to see whenever I try to interact with the show and it's making me feel horrible.

I've been in far worse fandoms, and they didn't make me feel this bad.

It all feels so puritanical, like you have forgotten what a teen drama parody entails. Did you forget that they were ALL assholes in the first season who backstabbed and did shitty things to eachother for their own selfish gain? You are applying pretty strict rules of morality onto characters who intrinsically must break those rules to allow the narratives of their genre to move.

This was a short kiss, the result of feelings that JFK and Harriet had actively been trying to avoid for the sake of Joan. This could have been resolved by open communication, but that's not how either drama shows OR stupid hormonal teens work. After making this mistake, they did the most responsible and moral thing they could have and confessed it literally within the same episode as soon as Joan would not, you know, DIE as a result.

All things considered, it wasn't a secret relationship, it wasn't sex, it wasn't a long term secret held until it accidentally spills out and ruins everything. It could have been SO much worse, it was none of my worst fears, and I'm honestly relieved a kiss was where it stopped. And I am also really glad they confessed to quickly because I HATE liar revealed plots more than ANYTHING and I probably would have stopped watching. If they were going to do this plotline it was the best case scenario for me.

And do you know what is even better? What should be the bare minimum but is actually pretty rare in dramas from my experience? Neither of them tried to mitigate Joan's reaction, to say she was overreacting or to dance around the issue to make it sound better beyond a truthful 'we felt nothing'. Joan was allowed the space to fully process the information and her emotions, even if through a montage. And damn I wish I saw that more often.

As for those saying JFK would need a redemption for what he has done- does being open and honest about his wrongdoings not do that pretty succinctly? Beyond having not done it at all what else do you want? Pretty puritanical to want him to suffer before he can be forgiven.

And granted, Harriet got plenty of unjustified hate before she had even done anything, but post-kiss most of the discussion and anger I have seen has been directed solely at JFK. Harriet was part of that kiss too, knowingly going against her friend. Why is the romantic relationship deemed worse to betray? Both of them did a stupid thing together, and fixed it together.

And I'm not saying Joan putting all the consequence on Abe is justified, he didn't do shit wrong either, he tried to keep his friend alive in a tricky situation.

All of your feelings are valid, and I do see why the dominant opinion is what it is. Cheating is an awful thing to do and you should not be with someone you do not trust, I cannot refute that.

Yet at the same time, I felt it was important to put forward some differing points that I had been having. This show will not be enjoyable if we hold a position of being negative and moralistic. To some extent there has to be an acceptance that this is a fiction and moral failings are often part of a narrative structure.

(And while many of you have legitimate critiques on the execution of the show, it feels like some of you are taking the 'thing done badly because I don't like it' route)

I really hope nobody takes this as me trying to enforce cheating or to say that JFK and Harriet kissing was ok. It was shitty of them to do in the first place, but they are not morally irredeemable. Teen do stupid bad thing is not new. I'm also not interested in having an argument over this, I get caught up far too easily in that so I won't be answering any replies or asks. It is fine if you disagree, I'm here to propose a counterpoint.

Sorry if this was repetitive or lengthy. It just felt like I had to get it out there despite it being the early hours of the morning.

[miguel-manbemel]

I've been in the Thomas Sanders fandom for almost nine years now. That means I was there way before Sanders Sides, and that at this point I'll remain following him way after Sanders Sides is over. That doesn't make me better or worse than anyone else, but I think that that gives me a little bit of right to speak my opinion, and I'm gonna do it, because I've been holding it back for far too long when I've seen so much bullshit all around, especially on Tumblr, and I can't help it anymore. I need to speak and I'm gonna speak, no matter who likes what I say and no matter who's bothered by what I say.

Sanders Sides started in October 2016, but it didn't get truly big until 2017. And 2017 was "Fander year", it was the year Thomas was most prolific and released the highest amount of work: the bulk of season 1 and a big chunk of season 2 of Sanders Sides, and to that we have to add the first episode of Cartoon Therapy, the last few Vines before it was shut down and a production of shorts comparable of his big years on Vine, and to that we add the vlogs, the music, his big projects like Bizardvaark, etc. And back then at the beginning it was Thomas alone, Joan and Talyn joined around February, March, and it was only the three of them the rest of the year and part of 2018. They worked their asses off for these months, to the point that all the three of them with no exception ended up getting sick. Joan even had to go through hospital and Talyn was eventually forced to retire altogether because of the complications stress caused in his Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome. Not to mention that Thomas and the others spent literal sleepless nights editing Sanders Sides, the record being 36 consecutive hours of editing without sleep so that he could release a Sanders Sides episode faster (I think it was Why Do We Get Out of Bed in the Morning). I don't know if some people here know it, but Thomas has confessed to be a little bit workaholic, and we all know he's a perfectionist in his work, he will only release what he considers is the best for him when it's ready, nothing more nothing less.

There's people that, sure, have praised Thomas beyond what is considered healthy and that have been assholes with other people who had constructive criticisms (and not all criticism has been constructive), but certainly, specially on Tumblr, there's people who don't know the meaning of the word "fair judgment" and vent all their personal frustrations onto Thomas like he was responsible of all evils in the world. If excessive positivity is toxic, excessive negativity is toxic too, and also damaging, not to mention potencially a crime of libel if they go too far and start damaging his reputation and good name with lies. I'm still seeing people talking about the animator thing like they know first person what happened, saying happily that Thomas "didn't pay the animators", like it was something true and a fact. The animators did not even get to a unified unique conclusion about anything. Some of the animators got mad and left the fandom immediately, others stayed to literally bitch around and criticize (and some caused more harm in the process than anything they were accusing Thomas and team of doing)... while other animators remain in good terms with Thomas and still follow him with the same passion, and also there are animators that called out other animators for their toxicity while the work was in progress. It's time to set things clear: the animators were paid what they signed in their contracts, they said that and they recognized that without exception. It was their own responsibility to read such contracts and investigate the internet and what is considered a good amount of payment, they should have done that beforehand and not sign if they didn't agree, because once they signed, they're bound and they have no right to complain because they agreed to that salary and it looked okay for them before signing, otherwise they wouldn't have, that's something even some animators said. So please, stop using that to spread hatred on Thomas. Not even the whole bunch of the animators supports you on this, and clearly if you weren't there you have no word to say. Officially, a portion of the animators spoke to the team, and ammended things privately, that was what was published and that is where it should have ended five years ago. So the rest of the world should just shut up about it. This is not and should not be treated as a reality show because it has nothing public at all. This is something private between the animators and the team, and third persons should not use it as an excuse to spread hoaxes and hatred against the team. Stop it already and mind your own business.

That was one thing I wanted to let out, but the other thing is about the people complaining, and complaining, and complaining about how they don't get the content THEY want faster. I'm talking about those who think Thomas should do Sanders Sides and nothing else, because "it's what Patrons pay for", "it's his biggest source of income", "blah, blah, blah"... I am a Patron, and I know what I signed for when I joined Patron: "more content, more frequently", nowhere in that sentence it is mentioned it would be Sanders Sides only, or even mainly and if anyone read that it's something they assumed on their own, not the reality and certainly not binding. We've gone through a drought of content because there was a pandemic, in case anyone didn't notice. But he's releasing more content now, in all platforms, so he's commiting to his promise about Patreon. My money is well spent and I won't let anyone say otherwise. Please, kindly refrain to speak in my name as a Patron, thank you. If any other feels differently and is on Patreon, he's always free to unsubscribe when he wants, but don't repeat the lie that you "subscribed because he promised more Sanders Sides more frequently", because that's literally a falsehood. And speaking about Patreon and the "writer's tier", I don't know what you think the writer's room is about. The team only gives the writer light suggestions about what jokes could work well or things that could be featured specifically as ideas for the script, they don't get any power of decission in the plot and they don't even get to know the plot at all because the questions are vague. Don't give so much importance to the writer's room, because i's nothing of the other world, despite some people trying to make it a bigger issue than it is, usually people who are not even in the writer's room and therefore don't know what they're talking about, as usual. About the "Sanders Sides being his biggest source of income and therefore, he should stick to that"... well, sorry to break it to you, but have you been around his TikTok recently? He has recently released a Storytime short and a Misleading Compliment short, and the audience went literally crazy, and the new sketch videos are working like charm. Sanders Sides might be a huge success of his, but his short videos (the 10 seconds long and the 4 minutes long) are, and will always be, his biggest source of fame, they've always been since Vine. Remember, he has 10 million followers on TikTok, almost triple his YouTube follower count. And from these 10 million followers, not so many even know what Sanders Sides is because they didn't follow him on YouTube. You have to deal with the fact that Thomas could cancel Sanders Sides today, and he'd still have a very decent lifelihood thanks to the short videos. He makes Sanders Sides because he wants to and because it's a personal project of his. It's you who's in desperate need of Sanders Sides, not him, stop projecting.

Where am I going with this? It is okay to dislike Thomas, no one forces you to like him, and it's okay if his type of humor is not for you anymore. But you are not the center of the universe. There are still millions of people who enjoy what he makes whatever it is, and Thomas is not there to give you the content you want all the time like a video-making-machine. He's not going back to 2017-2018 when he literally destroyed his health with too much work. I know a lot of Fanders joined the fandom at that time, got used to that rythm of releases and miss it, but that time is not coming back, because above else, Thomas and his team are human beings, not slaves at your service and their mental an physical health is more important than your need for entertainment. If you can't accept that, you should seriously consider moving forward to other forms of entertainment that are more of your liking. And moving forward means moving forward completely, not going back and forth publishing insulting or condescending posts against Thomas and his team that are not gonna help you get content faster. Just because you are an "addict" to Sanders Sides (if you were just "invested", you wouldn't get to some extents I've seen some people get to) and didn't get served your daily dose of hyperfixation, that gives you no right to bitch around against the creators. It's your responsiblity to look for your own sources of entertainment wherever you can find them, but you have no right to demand anyone to make anything for you, because this is internet, not an a la carte restaurant. You have plenty of content created by hundreds of content creators anywhere, just choose it and consume it. But don't forget it's content creators who decide what, where and when they create anything, not the audience. The right of the audience is to like whatever or not, to follow whoever or not. It's not your business how he runs his business or his working schedules, because that's private. You only have a right to consume the final product, not to control every step of the production, and it's time some people start remembering this and pump the brakes with their attitude.