#because it's a shared language we can use to interact together

[ourceliumnetwork]

To be so clear I am also regularly in denial about how much pain i'm just in

even with meds, even with rest, even if I haven't done anything in a week, even if i did only good things the day before, even if the exercise was necessary

buuuuut the meds do take the edge off (still in pain but less which is a net good) and i can always tell when they've worn out (naproxen SAYS it's good for 8-12 hours and I get Maybe 7.5 on a good day). I'm attempting to change to preemptive pain relief from chasing pain constantly and it's hard. But we're getting better.

speaking of which. Naproxen time.

i think i'm like. really in denial sometimes about how much pain i'm just Casually In...

OH NO WAIT HANG ON WAIT ACTUALLY MY MEDICINE WORE OFF AND I DID LIKE A LOT OF UNANTICIPATED ACTIVITY NEVER MIND I'M DUMB I'M HURTING FOR ACTUAL REASONS THIS TIME

[letsbangts]

tell me what to do || jjk

⤷ summary: when the familiar becomes unfamiliar what do you do

⟶ pairing: jungkook x reader

⟶ word count: 3.4k

⟶ genre: angst, established relationship au, breakup au

⟶ content: boyfriend!jk, big argument, talking about breaking up, the blame game, basically misunderstanding due to miscommunication

⟶ warnings: explicit language

↬ a/n: once again, this a very old piece I polished up. okay so this was my second piece of work so read with caution. as you can guess it is based on 'tell me what to do by shinee' because I was absolutely obsessed with the song so I used the lyrics as a guideline for writing, I incorporated the lyrics into the story. let me know what you think i really appreciate feedback & recommend a song if you’d like and i’ll write a scenario with it like i did with this song :) angel xoxo

masterlist

these days, i don’t know, i don’t know you. you look like you gave up on a lot of things but i hear your silent scream

I sit at the dining table drinking tea in my home - our home but lately nothing seems like ours anymore. It feels like there never was an ours, never an us. I don’t even need to sense it, I can see it. It’s as though I don’t know him anymore. He looks like he gave up on a lot of things, and like he gave up on us. I can almost hear him silently screaming for an end, our end.

lovers without extreme development is this the losing hand that time has placed? we haven’t ended it but it’s already over

He walks through the doorframe fully dressed ready for his day while still sporting his messy bedhead that he somehow manages to make look angelic. That’s one thing that hasn’t changed, I still see his beauty and that’s something I don’t think could ever change. Because that is what he is a beauty inside and out and that can’t simply disappear.

He greets me with a gentle kiss on the forehead, a soft “good morning” and a soft smile. We’ve been like this for a while now, stuck in this certain level of interaction almost a routine. Like lovers without any extreme development, without any growth in our relationship if you can even call it that anymore.

“Did you sleep well?” I ask a bit apprehensively.

He picks up the coffeepot, while avoiding any slight piece of eye contact and pours himself a cup with the coffee I made for him, just another part of our routine. I’ve always hated coffee, its dull blackness, the bitter taste, the way it leaves a stain, how the smell lingers, and how it keeps you awake. But after Jungkook that view changed for me, its dull blackness suddenly started reminding me of Jungkook’s dark dreamy eyes, the bitter taste of it reminded me of his lips as that was my only intake of it, and those stains it left was warmth around my heart, the smell was like being engulfed in his arms, and it allowed me and him to be up spending more hours together. In a way, coffee was like a representation of our love.

However, that love has turned black and bitter just like the coffee in his mug. The sweet smiles we always shared and the bright laughs that used to be heard between us vanished. He vanished, pulled away and it was too late to try to pull him back.

“Mhm,” he replies nodding while taking a sip, and like our love, it disappears as he swallows it down.

I nod with him and look down at my hands wrapped around my mug. Is this the losing hand that time has placed? Were we just doomed to keep repeating the same routine with each other in denial, in silence similar to the one we are currently sitting in a few metres apart while we are living in different worlds away from one another?  We haven’t ended it but it’s already over. We were already over.

He refuses to have conversations with me when before no one could ever shut us up. Instead of constantly messing around to get a smile out of each other, he always seems to be at a safe distance away from me.

there’s a knot that can’t be untied in front of us

As the bottoms of both our cups are revealed, so is our obvious stunt to keep a conversation from starting. Jungkook sets his mug in the sink and approaches me, and with just those movements my heart races.

“Well I’m going to head off okay?”, he stares at me with an expression I struggle to read…it’s almost…apologetic.

“Yeah, I need to start getting ready anyway,” I say.

“Okay then I guess I’ll see you later,” he says like it's a question while picking up his keys and approaching the door. As if he is unsure we will return to each other as if we are not one another's home.

I hum in agreement and just as his hand is about to touch the knob. I realise he forgot, one of the things that I assumed had turned into second nature for us has slipped out of his head. Now fearing that I could be the next thing to slip out of his head or even worse slip out of his life.

“Jungkook?” I call out.

He turns almost too quickly like he has been caught doing something he isn’t supposed to.

“Yeah?” he turns with wide eyes.

I give him a look, a look that speaks words only he could understand.

“Ah,” he sighs approaching me.

He cups my face with two hands, hands that are all too familiar but feel like they belong to a stranger at the same time.

He gives me the kiss I had reminded him of. It isn't necessarily part of our routine but something we have always done. It was always our sign of love to the other before we headed out into the world, a reminder of our love.

A reminder I think is much needed for us both.

He pulls away still holding my face “Sorry” he says and this time the apologetic look in his eyes is all too clear matching his voice.

But as I hear his words his ‘sorry’ seems to be for a different reason than just forgetting to kiss me before leaving the house. But without thinking more I just let it go.

“It’s okay. Get going now or you’ll be late.” I laugh softly and with one last kiss, he’s out the door.

There’s a knot that can’t be untied in front of us, both knowing that we should let go, that we should kiss goodbye one last time and both walk out of that door and go our separate ways for good. But that is easier said than done.

Jungkook and I both well aware of the fall in our relationship are also conscious of the love that will forever remain between us. The history between us is far too much for us to walk away. To take five years of memories and experiences with a person you’ve grown with so much that they have become an attachment to your life, to you as a person is an unimaginable pain that we would both rather avoid.

It is also scary, Jungkook is the one thing I remember having through everything, he is essentially a part of me. The thought of becoming one person again is something I never pictured having to do again. In all of my plans for myself, and for the future he is right there beside me. I have become accustomed to considering things for two people I couldn’t imagine just worrying about me, one person.

But as I consider what is right for the two of us all I can think of is that maybe we were better off as two separate people.

you don’t tell me but you want me to know you think that you only gave the words you threw at me because you’re too used to me

As the day comes to a close I hear the door open and footsteps follow. The sound I used to anticipate now makes me tense. Nevertheless, once the owner of those steps and so much more turns the corner, my lips can’t help but leap into a smile that’s both relieved and nervous.

Jungkook takes off his shoes and takes a seat beside me, with yet a space once again between us.

“Hey,” he breathes out as he settles into the couch.

I slightly hesitate, “Hey”

We sit in silence but hear everything that wants to be said. An invisible weight piling up on our shoulders, an awkwardness that has become usual between us. So I finally broke it and said it. The moment we never believed would come or tried to avoid finally came.

“L-look Jungkook," I take a deep breath and continue, "we both know what has happened between us-“

“Ye-Wait, what?” he interrupts, eyebrows furrowed.

“No, it's time we finally faced it, we’ve run our course. I supposed our time together was only supposed to be this long.”

“What are you talking about?-“

This time it is me who interrupts.

“It's just hard for me to let go of you, you just mean so much to me but I can’t control how you feel.”

“Huh? How do I feel? What do you mean? What are you even talking about right now?" he rushes out.

“It's okay you don’t have to keep silent like you’re keeping some secret from me, I know. You’ve lost feelings for me”

“No, you’re not listening to me-“

“Kookie, it's okay I’m a big girl I’ve broken up with a guy before.”

“Break up?", his voice panicked, "Woah just listen to me for one second, will you? Holy shit!”

Once again we sit in silence except this time I can’t hear the silent words waiting to be said.

He shakes his head.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. You think you know but that’s not what I wanted to talk to you about not even close.”

“I-I thought-“ I stutter out eyes widened.

“Yeah exactly, you thought. Or is that what you want? Do you want to break up?” he asks staring me directly in my eyes, his voice much softer with apprehension.

“I want to make things easier for you,” I reply in a whisper head lowered as I fiddle with my hands in my lap.

He gives me a look, a look as if I have just said something impossible to comprehend. We were both unaware of what had been happening between us for months. It's like he has become so used to the act we put on to ignore our downfall that he forgot it was an act.

“Easier? " he scoffs a laugh with zero humour, "Is breaking up something easy for you?” he argues back.

The fact that he was going to sit there and continue to play this game even after I called it out sparked an emotion inside of me and the one that decided to come out was anger.

“Oh, come on Jungkook! We both know you checked out on us a long time ago.”

His eyes widen and then he also snaps.

“Me? I checked out, are you being fucking serious right now? I know I have pulled away a bit but you didn’t give me any sign to do otherwise!”

“Are you seriously turning this on me right now?” I snapped back with a newfound boldness to defend myself instead of my initial plan to make this an easy conversation for him. For us.

“Well, I’m not going to blame myself, even though that’s what you’re trying to do. Just because you know me, you think that means you know all my inner fucking feelings. When it's clear you don’t know mine or your own!” He says in a stern and loud tone that I have heard him use in the past…. just never to me.

indifferent and painful words left deep scars on that day words that made me realize that i’m still a fool

“Well, maybe it wouldn’t be so easy for me to read your feelings if it wasn’t so blatantly obvious on your face and the way you act differently around me now!”

“And you think I started acting the way I did simply because I suddenly just lost all my feelings for you? You can’t be that clueless!”

The words being thrown between us were indifferent and painful which had already left their mark on both of us and only made us more frustrated. At this point, the distance between us seems bigger than the couch itself and my heart feels heavier than when I thought we were about to break up.

“No, you can’t be this low into making this seem like it’s all on me! And not knowing my feelings how does that even make sense?” I blurt out.

“Seriously, I know when we first started having problems we both started acting slightly different towards each other but it was never this bad…” voice much calmer and less tense than it was a few seconds ago as he continued.

“But it was after my birthday, you know after what happened, you just changed how you acted toward me -with me completely.” His tone turned the air serious almost still. I felt it slap me right across my face, run right into my chest knocking the air out of me.

“I-I did?", making my way full circle back to stuttering.

The next words that come out of his mouth make me realize the fool that I am. And at this realization, I could only tear up. Choked up it is my eyes this time that turn apologetic, while his eyes look at the floor before us.

He nods.

“You did. At first, it was just little things like not asking me to pick you up on my way home or not asking for my shirt to wear to bed. But then it turned into so much more.”

I looked down filled with a bit of shame. Until I heard a sound from him I didn’t expect, a chuckle.

“Just like that. You didn’t even look at me anymore. At the table, in the car, you even turn your back to me when we’re in bed. I used to catch you staring at me even when I wasn’t looking at you.” He smiles fondly at the memory and it’s his turn to look down at his hands.

He plays with his bracelet, one I got for him two years ago for his birthday. He shakes his head, ”It’s as if my presence makes you completely uncomfortable now.” his voice cracks.

And it is right then when I do too.

if only i can erase it if only i can

At that moment I wished I had done the exact thing he told me I always did. Because once I did look up at him what I saw broke me. His eyes filled with tears he is trying to hold back, a few escaping but he is quick to wipe them away. It was the worst thing I could see besides looking at me driving him away. It was me hurting him. If I could erase everything I did to make him think that I didn't love being around him I would, and now I could.

i took you for granted but just thinking of you not being there i don’t want to go through that my world would crumble

Although I may not be able to erase everything I can change everything from here on to prove to him he has the wrong view of what he is to me. He is the furthest thing than just an uncomfortable presence. He is my best friend, my roommate, my chauffeur, my home, my family, and my lover. My everything. Even the thought of him not being in my life…my whole world would fall apart.

am i the one for you at some point, you were keeping me in check i said you changed a lot but i changed the most the one for me, i didn’t know but that promise keeps suffocating us time keeps lingering but our time keeps getting destroyed

The tears running down his face make me think he feels the same, that he doesn’t want us to end like this. It assures me of us, that he is the one for me and I am the one for him.

“I’m sorry,” he looks at me and for the first time in a while we both look into each other’s eyes with hopefulness, “I said you changed a lot, but I was the one who changed the most. And I kept acting that way because I had made myself think that was what you wanted. I didn’t want to let you go so I thought by doing that I would hold onto you longer but that very thing is what suffocated us. It's what wrecked our relationship and sent it down even further. We had so much time to fix it but it just kept getting destroyed.” I say with two streams running one under each eye.

He finally speaks after what to me feels like a whole lifetime.

“It's okay, I mean, it's both our faults though,” he sniffs, “We should have had this conversation a long time ago.” He has gone back to fiddling with his bracelet this time him being the one to break eye contact.

He laughs, again catching me off guard with the unexpected reaction.

“It’s funny, the one thing we did the most even when we didn’t need to or weren’t even supposed to do, is what we failed to do when we needed to the most…talk.”

I couldn’t help but laugh as well at the irony.

“I guess we took all those times we told each other to shut up when watching movies to heart.” I chuckle out and he laughs at my response.

that smile came to me, more brightly the cold hands became more warm two lonely souls met not lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely i’ll look into you again, i’ll place your breathing in my ears even if everything but us changes

His smile seemed brighter now more than ever. At that moment the room seemed to be glowing.

I reached out and grabbed his hands,

“I love you, I have always and will always. I don’t want to give us up, I never have. We’ve been together for too long to go back to being lonely and I’d be an idiot to pick loneliness over you.”

I looked at him the whole time watching his expression with every word. I look through the tears in my eyes at him and when I feel him squeeze my hands in his the tears spill over all over again.

“You are the only girl who has had my heart for years. I’ve never debated giving it to anyone else. I’m willing to do whatever it takes. I’ll get us back to the good place where we were before. Even if something has to change I don’t care as long as we are the only thing that doesn’t.”

His words were exactly what I wanted and needed to hear, enabling my tears to keep falling down my face but now out of pure happiness, the pure bliss of us finally back to one another. We were finally back to being us.

I pull him towards me by the nape of his neck, foreheads resting against each other. With our lips brushing,

“I love you” I whisper to him.

He lovingly smiles back.

“I have always loved you too.”

And those were the only words I ever needed to hear from him.

i hope you’ll tell me first don’t cry no more if your heart can see me don’t cry no more

He pulls me onto his lap, legs dangling over his. I bury my head in his chest, my arms wrapping around his strong torso. His arms pull me into a tight embrace, one that signifies neither of us is about to go anywhere.

“Now stop crying, baby.” He teases me, the only evidence of his tears is the red in his eyes.

“I can’t they won’t stop now.” I giggle out past my sobs.

“It’s okay now, we know our feelings are on the same page.”

i’ll go to you first at the end of a different road i’ll wipe your cheeks that are wet with tears and ask you

“Now we just need to figure out where to start where do we go from here,” he continues as he holds my face again as he did hours ago but now the gesture felt completely different as he used his thumbs to wipe my cheeks that were wet with tears, I look into those dreamy coffee coloured eyes of his as I listen to the next words that came out of his bitter coffee flavoured lips that I can already taste,

“Tell me what to do”

[eternalsams]

Your Woman ⇴ J.Seresin

pairing: Jake Seresin x fem!reader

warning/content: 18+ (dear minors, interact and I'll block you), nudity, fluff, smut (dry wet humping, thigh riding?)

summary: when Jake and you decide to shower together, you realize you also have to share the playlist.

word count: 728 (this is so short i'm ashamed)

a/n: English isn't my first language so please take that into consideration. Please don't come at me for the mockery of the country music, I love country music and I love Texas (only because they give us men like Glen Powell and Jensen Ackles)

masterlist

"Right... Cause saving water is the only reason you wanna shower with me?" You chuckle as you grab two fresh towels. "Of course! What other reason would I have?" Jake peaks his head from behind the shower curtain with a sly smirk. You huff and start undressing, not having it in you to deny your boyfriend what you both know you want. As you were about to open the curtain and step into the shower with him, he stops you. "Wait, can you put some music on? My phone's on the bed." You roll your eyes and chuckle before leaving the bathroom to grab his phone.

You see a text from Javy, telling Jake to hurry up if he wanted free beer. You chuckle once more and open Jake's music app. You click on the first playlist suggested and lock the phone before stepping into the shower. Jake's arm immediately wraps around your waist and you let out a gasp as you almost slip on the wet tile. "I gotcha', darlin'." He leans in to you and brush his lips against yours. "My hero..." You mutter and he smiles widely before kissing you.

The hand on your waist slides down to your ass and kneads the flesh, making you giggle against his lips. His other hand snakes at the back of your neck as he parts your lips with his tongue, licking deliciously into your mouth. Jake grabs the back of your thigh and pull you more into him, slotting one of his legs between yours. The friction of his muscular thigh against your core has you whimpering but Jake doesn't do anything more than just swaying his hips with yours. You pull away from him, taking a quick breath after he just kissed the air out of your lungs. That's when you hear it, the music. The sounds of the electric guitar playing country has you rolling your eyes and scoffing. "Don't make fun of my music, sweetheart." Jake purrs, looking down at you. "I'm not making fun. I just don't like it." You defend yourself. The swaying of his hips in rhythm has you quietly whining as his leg rubs perfectly against your pussy. "I feel like you're rather enjoying yourself." He chuckles, dipping his head to place a kiss on your lips. "You're not playing fair." You sigh, trying to suppress the shiver that's threatening to make your body tremble.

"I can't believe how much it turns me on..." Jake's low voice sings along the music, making you chuckle. "There's no hurry, don't you worry..." He keeps singing, swaying his hips in rhythm and pecking kisses along your jaw. "We can take our time." You finish the lyrics and Jake pulls away to look at you with a surprised smile. "You do know the lyrics. Come a little closer..." He accompanies his words by pulling you even closer and dragging your clit over his thigh and having you whining for more. You can feel his hardening cock poking at your hip but you don't care, you cannot think of anything else than the delicious feeling of his skin rubbing on your clit. Your lips latch onto his neck and your teeth nibble at his skin as you start to feel the knot in your tummy tightening.

Never in your life you would have thought you could have an orgasm to country music. But here you are, gasping and squeezing Jake's shoulders as you came on his thigh, listening to him singing along some stupid country ballad. "That's it, let go for me sweetheart." He purrs next to your ear, holding you firmly as he kept swaying his hips to help you ride out your orgasm. You let your head fall on his shoulder and he tenderly kisses the back of your head as you're catching your breath. "Such a good girl." He grabs your face and makes you look at him, giving you a soft smile. "So good for me." You return the smile weakly and reach for his face to kiss him. The song finally ends and when you think you can go back to having a normal shower, another country song starts. "Nope, not doing this again." You say as you step out of the shower to change his playlist. Jake only laughs and try to ignore to throbbing ache between his legs.

taglist:

@hardballoonlove

@blue-aconite

@iliketopgun

@callsign-hummingbird

@roosterforme

@jessicab1991

@atarmychick007

@hangmansgbaby

@callsigns-haze

@mamachasesmayhem

@els-marvelvsp

@djs8891

[freakoont]

❝𝐑𝐚𝐧𝐩𝐨 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬❞

︵‿︵‿୨🍪୧‿︵‿︵

𝐅𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭: 𝐁𝐮𝐧𝐠𝐨 𝐒𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐲 𝐃𝐨𝐠𝐬 𝐅𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫: 𝐑𝐚𝐧𝐩𝐨 𝐄𝐝𝐨𝐠𝐚𝐰𝐚 【ＳＦＷ　ａｎｄ　ＮＳＦＷ ｉｎｃｌｕｄｅｄ】

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

GENDER NETURAL BUT AFAB READER sorry :')

REQUESTS ARE OPEN ! check the bottom of this post for information <3

︵‿︵‿୨🍪୧‿︵‿︵

【ＳＦＷ】

When you first start to begin noticing signs of having a crush on him, Ranpo immediately picks up on it.

Does he actually say or do anything about it? No . . . Not for a long while.

He's not embarrassed or nervous about it, actually he uses your little crush as a advantage to tease and mess with your cute little brain !

"hey, (Y/N) can you get me some pockys? I'm about to die from hunger, y'know!"

"..I'm busy, Ranpo."

"oh, fine."

...

"oh yeah, (Y/N) I seem to recall you were staring a lot at me earlier, which is kind of odd for a friend-"

"I'll get those snacks now"

Ranpo's never had a crush or significant other, so there are some things he doesn't know what to do. but he mostly treats your relationship the same way he treated you back when you were just friends

At first, he was a little nervous about saying things like 'I love you' because he thought it sounded cringe, but after a short while he needs to hear you say it 30 times a hour with lots of kisses💋

Ranpo can be a little shit at times, but he makes up for it for his good memory and always being able to understand you better than you know yourself.

Example: Ranpo will always remember little things about you! He noticed you staring at a T-shirt in the mall once and suddenly you've got it gifted to you, "from the worlds greatest detective; to my favorite assistant"

A lot of times when you're working in ADA, Ranpo will just hop onto your lap and keep still and silent as he eat snacks.

He loves being in your presence, just being around you is enough.

He's not crazy on PDA, usually holding your hand and dragging you along with him. He'll occasionally tease and embarrass you in public though, most of the time it isn't intentional

"(Y/NNNNN) :( can we please go to that bakeshop !"

"we were just at one. Besides, you still have that cake to finish at home."

"..."

"WHAT THE- GET OFF MY BACK YOU CRAZY MAN-"

"LETS GO TO THE BAKESHOP THEN-"

Ranpo is a BIG cuddle bug! He loves being little spoon especially. Just laying on top of your chest or besides you as you caress his hair and kiss his forehead

He'll melt from your touch

He's a baby

Ranpo doesn't usually get jealous. It's a rare thing actually, he's a chill guy and just uses his deduction to know you love him 110%

He's probably gotten used to Dazai flirting with you, before you two got together, that he's unbothered by other people

TXT: "Ranpo ! Some guy is flirting with me !"

TXT: "👍"

TXT: "do you not care that someone is trying to get with me?"

TXT: "woah there. FIRST OF ALL☝️ I've already deducted that you wouldn't do anything to hurt me. You care to much. SECOND OF ALL☝️ I've also deduced that he's drunk"

TXT: "I'll go buy you some ice cream now..(⁠ ⁠╹⁠▽⁠╹⁠ ⁠)"

TXT: "👍"

...

TXT: "ily"

TXT: "I love you too(⁠ ⁠◜⁠‿⁠◝⁠ ⁠)⁠♡"

I feel like Ranpo isn't good with feelings and his words. When he notices that you're angry or upset, he'll kind of just be lost on what to do to cheer you up

He'll make some unhelpful comments here and there, trying to cheer you up and joke around... But then it might piss you off a little more

HE'S TRYING(⁠｡⁠•́⁠︿⁠•̀⁠｡⁠)

He's bad at reading emotions, and when he does understand he'll share his snacks and keep quiet...

His love language is: words of affirmation and physical touch

He's not one to use pet names, just usually call you by his own nickname for you and that's it. Occasionally he'll call you his 'favorite assistant' or his 'watson'

Ranpo gets a boost in his confidence whenever you praise him. You and Fukuzawa are definitely the most important people in his lives, meaning your words mean SO MUCH to him

If you're the type to like cooking and cleaning, you've won him over. He hates chores and loves just sitting around and eating snacks

If you feed him as he sits or lays on your lap he'll literally die a happy man

❥๑━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━๑❥

【ＮＳＦＷ】

Ranpo is a switch, but definitely leans towards a bottom more

He'll be a very loud person in bed when you're on top of him.

If you tease him and poke at his sensitive parts, Ranpo will get flustered. You will catch him blushing and trying to keep quiet, just poke at him some more

Of course, don't be mean to him though. He only likes it when you praise him for doing good, because he's very inexperienced.

Ranpo is good at giving oral, he knows how to read you and where you like to be touched the most

Whenever Ranpo has a rough day, he'll either want you to ride him to make him feel better or he'd want to eat you out

"Mmmm... You look so good riding me like that,"

"just like that, Aah~"

"Love, I'm gonna- A-Ah"

He's noisy, but you can shut him upಡ⁠ ͜⁠ ⁠ʖ⁠ ⁠ಡ

Ranpo doesn't have that strong of a sexual desire. Sex isn't the most important thing to him. it's you🫵

If you ask him enough, praise him all day, and have a little teasing at eachother, maybe your lucky enough to walk home with him pulling you into the bed(⁠ ⁠ꈍ⁠ᴗ⁠ꈍ⁠)

His favorite positions are cowgirl/reverse cowgirl, anything with you taking control

He's very lazy and will let you do most of the work

Ranpo actually doesn't have any kinks, and I know a lot of you will be like "no he'd have a praise kink☝️" but I'm sorry to say that, Ranpo would 100% find the idea of kinks disgusting

LIKE I KNOW. I can see him having a praise kink too but it just fits so well for him to find 'kinks' disgusting

He doesn't like using toys either. Well, specifically for himself

If he feels like teasing you and edging you on, expect him to be using a vibrator on you and moving it around to get you moaning, but that's it really

If you're a easily-embarrassed or awkward and shy person, he'll definitely tease and mess with you when he's taking the lead

He's definitely had you doing things with him in the office and after you're finished you'll be like, "did... Did that really just happen?🧍‍♀️"

"Ranpo, the others are gonna be back any moment, please let's just finish at home.."

"Mmm, not a chance... Now, if you're so worried about it, you better start moving faster for me, sweet one.." he spoke, his hand on your ass as he straddled you on his lap as he sucked on a lollipop, his eyes were on yours. His other hand moved up your back and caressed your body.

How did you ever get dragged into this with him? Oh wait. It's Ranpo.

Ranpo loves face sitting

He'll eat you out like a unspoken religion, digging his teeth into your inner thighs just to hear your sweet noises as he knows he's doing good

He also loves it when you leave lipstick kisses all over him

YOU'LL LITERALLY MAKE HIM ALL NERVOUS AND BLUSHING. He'll be at a loss for words and start to ignore all eye contact

༻༺━━━━⁎∗.*.∗⁎━━━━༻༺

REQUESTS - I am accepting any requests for any character for the following fandoms:

Bungo Stray Dogs, Genshin Impact, Danganronpa, Ninjago, Southpark, Obey Me, 7 Deadly Sins, Tokyo Revengers, Hazbin Hotel, Helluva Boss, Death Note, Walking Dead, Demon Slayer, Assassination Classroom, Hunter X Hunter, Komi Can't Communicate, Diabolik Lovers and Doki Doki Literature Club

I will write any of the following: smut (all characters WILL be aged up), fluff, crack/joke, specific plot, angst, HC's, BL, GL

Do not expect me to write any of the following: intense gore scene, sexual themes that are disturbing to most people and anything that will get me banned for a specific and obvious reason.

I accept requests for any character from any of the fandoms I have named :)

[oldwritingm]

Hey can we get the Ninjas with an S/O who's basically Jessica rabbit and how they would deal with people constantly hitting on their S/O?

Of course my dear!! Unrelated but I love Jessica Rabbit,,,

Ninjago - Ninjas With an s/o Who Gets Flited With a Lot

Kai

When he first sees someone flirting with you, his initial reaction is a sort of pride

He's happy that other people are noticing how smoking hot his s/o is

But that only lasts for half a second; then comes the jealousy

He hops up and tries to look casual while he saunters over and wraps an arm around your waist

He'll stare coldly at the person flirting with you, trying to intimidate them

When it doesn't work he uses his voice, trying to show the person that they're not welcome

"And just who are you again?"

He'll only get more passive aggressive as the interaction goes on

There have been times that he's escalated it to straight-up aggression, and even violence, at which point you had to take it upon yourself to remove you both from the situation

You'll have to talk to him while he cools down, letting him vent about how angry the person was making him

In the end he knows it's not your fault and that you'd never leave him

Still, reassuring him on that front would probably help him calm down

He's just mad that some scumbag thought they could take you from him

After such an instance he usually sticks close to you, making sure to keep a hand on you to demonstrate that you're together

Cole

He doesn't really care when people flirt with you

He knows that it's only natural; you're the most gorgeous person in the world to him (and others, evidently)

He trusts that you'll be loyal and that you can handle yourself

But he still keeps an eye on you when out in public

He's watching to see if you're uncomfortable and need help; only then will he step in

He knows all your tells, but you guys also have a secret hand gesture that means you need help

So, when he sees the gesture, or any body language signaling that you're uncomfortable, he jumps into action

He sidles up to your side, placing himself as close as possible to you

He'll try to be at least somewhat pleasant at first: just emphasizing that you guys are dating, hoping to put the person off

But if that doesn't work he'll be more blunt

"Dude. You're being creepy. Get lost."

When they finally leave, he checks to make sure you're okay

Your well-being is much more important to him than any doubts he might have about your relationship

Not that he has any; he's fully confident that your relationship is strong

But if he did he'd still put you first

If you want him to be your body guard for the rest of the night, he'll happily oblige

(and he makes a pretty good guard, too, being so huge and intimidating (when he wants to be))

Jay

He HATES when people flirt with you

Like, he knows why; you're obviously always the most attractive person in the room

But you're his s/o! Other people shouldn't be flirting with you!

Sometimes he wishes that you could just wear a big sign that says "I'm taken"

(He has actually asked you to do this before)

The second he sees someone talking to you, he's already inching closer to see what's up

Even if they're not being outright flirty, he's still suspicious of them

He'll keep getting closer, not bothering to be sneaky at all

This often has the unintentional effect of the person leaving before he even gets within talking range

They just get creeped out that this guy is glaring at them while slowly yet steadily approaching

If they don't get scared off, he wraps an arm around you and intensifies his glare

He'll insert himself into the conversation crudely, speaking directly to you and "ignoring" the other person

"Hey, babe. Ready to go back to our shared apartment? Where we live together because we're partners?"

Then the person usually takes the hint, but by then they're probably more amused than annoyed

When they're finally gone Jay still watches them, still glaring

He's a little insecure that you'll leave him, just because you're so stunning (and, admittedly, sometimes the people flirting with you are, too)

He'll need lots of reassurance that he's good enough for you :(

Zane

Out of all the ninjas, Zane is the most bothered when people flirt with you

He knows he's not the best when it comes to romance, so he feels like every time someone flirts with you he's instantly being one-upped

It makes him more sad and insecure than anything

He knows that you're loyal to him, so he's not jealous

But he doesn't know why you're so adamant to stay with him, especially when someone flirts with you

He just frowns while he listens to their clever pick up lines, sometimes not even understanding them

It makes him feel a little better when you frown, too

When you send him the "a little help here?" look, though, that's when his heart skips a beat

It's his chance to show why he's the one you chose

He balks for half a second, but quickly gathers the courage to insert himself into the interaction

He places himself at your side, standing like a perfect gentleman and even smiling faintly (despite the fact that he feels a little inferior to the flirter)

Then it's your cue to emphasize what a gentleman he is, and how disinterested you are in everyone else

"This is my boyfriend, Zane. He's always so respectful in. Just look at how he's standing! Never gets all handsy or flirty in public, either."

Zane just nods, his smile growing along with his confidence

He needs to hear those words about as much as his "competitor" does

Once they're gone, he feels much more confident about himself and why you want to be with him :)

Lloyd

Lloyd respects you immensely; he knows you're loyal, honorable, brave... and most of all, drop-dead gorgeous

It's that last thing that worries him a little

Not because it makes him question your other merits; not at all

It makes him more conscious about others' merits (or rather, lack of)

He doesn't trust people to be respectful to you

He tries his best not to hover when you're in public, but he does get a touch anxious if you don't check in every now and again

Especially if you're the type to get uncomfortable when someone flirts with you

He tries to prevent flirting from happening in the first place, but sometimes it just can't be helped

The second he sees someone flirting with you, anxiety strikes

He knows how... inappropriate flirting can get, and just the thought makes him blush

He doesn't want you to be subject to that

So he'll hurry to your side, turning the situation away from romance

He won't be nasty or try to scare the person off, he'll just redirect the conversation

"Hey, how about that game last night? The, uh... sports... game..."

He's trying 😭

He doesn't want to disrespect this person (even though they're low-key disrespecting you)

When they're gone he'll double-check to make sure they didn't make you uncomfortable or anything

As long as you're good, he's good :) until someone else comes up

Nya

She also gets flirted with a lot, especially operating in a team of all boys

So she knows the struggle, and she's fully equipped to help you out

She'll teach you the tricks she's learned to scare off creeps, but of course she's also always more than happy to step in

You guys have a complete code language of phrases and gestures that mean things ranging from "creep o'clock, be on guard" to "I'm good, are you?" to "please save me"

To give an example: if you're both in a conversation and someone is starting to seem like they have bad intentions, you can say "I saw a snake a while ago," which means "potential creep right here. thoughts?"

Responses include: "so did I," ("yep, let's ditch") or "no, it was a rubber hose, remember?" ("let's stick around a little longer")

It's a very intricate language that only expands over time

You guys actually have a lot of fun making and using it

And it's obviously quite useful

But in terms of jealousy, since Nya knows what it's like to be harassed, she knows it's not a challenge to one's loyalty

She totally trusts you, and expects you to feel the same

But sometimes when she just really doesn't like someone, she'll put a protective arm around you and make it obvious that you're hers

When they're finally gone, you guys either giggle about it or watch them leave with scowls; either way you make sure to check in on each other first

In general, though, you guys learn to have fun expelling unwarranted advances; it's almost like a fun little game you play together :]

Thank you for this request! And thanks for reading, take care sweet duckies <33

(divider by saradika)

[kanmom51]

Hi! I love reading your posts so much so I would like to know your thoughts on this:

https://x.com/smol_kia/status/1550222383075586048?t=1QUT02cleCrXVULBEegSjw&s=19

I saw some of us on X thanking this person for manifesting the toothbrushing scene which was funny but at the same time i am super confused on how jikook really did exactly the same as the fan art (the plaid pyjamas especially)! Do you think this was purely coincidence or one of them saw it and went 'let's make this to reality'?

English is not my first language, so I'm sorry if my ask is all over the place :) love ya!

Let's start with the end here why don't we?

JM and JK are the real thing. They have a real actual relationship unlike the dreamt up needing to lean on made up fanart relationship that Tkks delude themselves JK and Tae have.

That is the starting point.

Jikook are the real deal. A real life long term loving couple. TKK are not. Not a couple. Friends yes. At times closer at times not so much, but always and only friends.

So, let's talk about that fanart. It's from 2022. 22 July 22 to be accurate. I am literally feeling sick to my stomach at the moment, but I will share the photo, cause I'm going to be making a point here.

*At least they kept the JM in place (although they probably are deluded as to it's meaning...).

So, why is the date so important, you may ask.

Because that is the day ITS Friendcation came out.

And guess what we got in that first episode of the show.

Only the four friendliest of friends in their matchy plaid pj's.

Basically what we had was TKK's in their hazed daydreams wishing that instead of Tae sleeping together with his squad, to which a one Jeon Jungkook does not belong no matter how much they want to twist it (same crew that left JK at the ski resort by himself while leaving together), instead of Tae waking up with Wooga and their match plaid pj's and brushing teeth together, it would be JK there with him.

Like I say, dream on.

That fanart of theirs, is a dream not a reality, and they can scream until they are blue in the face, it won't change the fact that the one brushing his teeth with JK at the moment is JM, not Tae, by choice. JK choice. JM's choice. They both wanted it. They both planned it. They both worked towards it. And they are both living it right now.

I find it kind of funny how TKKs keep on screaming that JM and JK's travels are for the camera, not genuine, all for the buck. If that was true, if Jikook were indeed the 'fanservice' couple for BH, if Jikook were a money maker as a unit for the company, how is it that this cash machine has never been properly utilized. It always amuses me to hear this from them all while most of Jikook's interactions are off camera, not for us to intentionally see. This one unit that has never come to fruition officially (until now, and there is a reason for that and a reason why we are getting more now, none of which are them being 'faked' for the camera in order to make money).

I love how they twist everything to fit a constant changing narrative. I actually don't know how they keep up with themselves. It would be so exhausting.

I saw Mina's tweets. Will not share them here. I will not give that hateful ***** a platform here. All I will say is that it must be so very hard for her right now. Reality is hitting and it's hitting hard. I guess it's a last hurrah, an attempt to cling to their fantasy. Basically acting like a belligerent child having a tantrum.

If I didn't loath her and her kind I would actually pity them. They are going to be so very miserable in the upcoming months. Not to mention after they are all back from the military.

I guess these weirdos need to be reminded that JM and JK's Tokyo trip back in 2017 was not for the cameras. A trip eternalized with JK's GCFT, a trip they could not stop talking about, a trip they continued to talk about in their book under the title Real love.

I won't remind them of just how fondly JK was talking about their trip and the show, nor will I bring up that shining sun of a smile he had when JM says he'll hug him later, cause you know, these are basically fans that have no interest in what the idol they supposedly love (yeah, no love there) says or feels. It's about what they, as fans, want to feel dreaming about buff JK the fuckboy, bad boy, man handler and his dainty weak boyfriend Tae (with their love hate toxic jealousy drama filled relationship).

Excuse me for a sec...

I also guess they need to be reminded that not all of JM and JK's time together was filmed, not all of it was for the cameras, as they love to put it. Not in NY, and definitley not in Tokyo 2023. Funny how two people that were working on enlisting together and got to fulfill their wishes and make sure that the 18 months of their military service they are inseparable, even if that means a tougher placement than if they enlisted separately, still wanted to go on these trips together. I think that by now any claim that this was forced on them - the trips, the show, the enlistment - have been long disproved.

And for a couple that the company are 'trying to push on us' it's really funny how silent they have been since their enlistment. But yeah, these people will continue to say what they want because otherwise their dreams are dead. Kind of like Larry's that still think those two are a thing.

You know what else that fanart comes after, btw?

Not only the ITS friendcation, but also after this:

JK directing LGO MV choosing the couples pj's, choosing to have JM walk out of the bathroom brushing his teeth JK waiting for him in the bedroom.

Fanart is art (not that some of the fanart out there would be considered art by myself, but you know, that's a personal taste, or distaste, and that btw includes some Jikook fanart as well). It can replicate or express reality but it can also be an outright fantasy.

In this case it's TKKs seeing the reality (Wooga and Jikook) and expressing fantasy (their ideas or wishes applied onto TKK), lol.

And now we have JM and JK on their trip wearing these couples pj's.

What a blow that must have been for TKKs. And this whole scrambling thing they are doing, that this is "the company" copying their fanart. Absolutely hilarious.

Jikook have shown us over the years that they love plaid. Not gonna add pics here cause there is no end to them. JK, JM alone, together, plaid is something they have been doing. Specifically? Not necessarily. But it's something they wear.

Jikook themselves have worn plaid pj's in the past for LGO MV (and the live as well - do I remind you guys of JK's joke about why he decided to have JM brushing his teeth?). Director JK. Their choice.

The fanart TKKs are squealing about was not an original piece of art that a TKKer came up with. They literally copied the pajamas worn by the Woogas in ITS Friendcation inserting JK into their fantasy.

If people would watch original content they would know that Jikook, both of them, tend not to wear pj's at home. Not around the house and not in bed. We saw JM in ITS 2. We saw JK in his bed live (in which I would love to remind TKKs how flirty and naughty he was with JM all while being half naked in bed, nagging JM to do a live with him, all his choice, all knowing that the company will not be happy with him, lol - still waiting for that Jikook live, you know from the company's "for the cameras" couple). Oh, and we also have the LV live. Yeah, that was an interesting one. Seeing that not only did we hear from JM and Hobi that JM walks around in his undies at home but that JK is in charge of the soundtrack... I guess while he's in his undies as well...(JM's reaction to Hobi's slip up was priceless). Point being that those two don't do clothes for sleep. But clearly they couldn't go 'au natural' for the show, so they chose to wear pj's.

And just like the other clothes that they chose to wear throughout their travels, that we will get to see in the show, they chose to wear these pj's.

Couple pj's.

This is not a photo shoot. This is them coming from home with their own clothes wearing what they want to wear, what they feel comfortable in. And they chose to wear those pj's knowing EXACTLY how it will be perceived.

And just like Wooga chose to wear the plaid pj's, which btw were all identical, like the rings they wear, probably as a symbol of their friendship, all while NO ONE ever dared to claim that they were dressed by stylists or forced into wearing them or that the creators of the show even suggested the idea to them, JM and JK chose to wear these pj's that are not identical but seem to be perceived as couple's pj's.

Pajamas sold out of course, the company's caption at the bottom being: "How about watching the show together in couple pajamas?"

Their choice.

Their decision.

Filming themselves brushing their teeth - their decision.

I want to make something clear here. They have said it and I will repeat it. This is not a scripted show. This is them travelling, experiencing, enjoying themselves (you cannot fake those smiles and giggles), filming themselves. That angle, the camera in the bathroom, that is a camera they placed there, they wanted us to see this just like JK wanted to show us JM brushing his teeth and coming out to him in the bedroom.

Do I remind you what happened when a camera was placed in a room when they didn't want us to see what they were up to?

This is not 2018 anymore. This is 2024 (well, filmed end of 2023, and may I just note that after the new contracts were signed, and I do think this is highly relevant as to what we are going to be getting in this show, what we will be allowed to see, the level of candor). No more hidden cameras in rooms (I think the company had realized that was a dangerous game they were playing at), and their artists control over what will be filmed and what not.

Their choices, their decisions, not some company executive. Them. The two of them.

I will end this by saying that I doubt that Jikook are even aware of this TKK fanart.

But if they were, then this wouldn't be them copying the fanart trying to create the illusion they are a couple.

No need for an illusion when you ARE the real deal.

If, by any chance, they were aware of the fanart then I would say that any connection to it would be them saying a big FUCK YOU to TKKs and their delusions.

But yeah, I do doubt they were even aware of this pic.

JK's search logarithm is Jimin based. Not TKK. So keep dreaming TKKs, cause not only are TKK not the thing you so very much want them to be, the thought of that thing, them as a couple, you as a fan group, your art and fantasies, all those aren't even a blip on JM and JK's radars.

[darklinaforever]

"I will never understand why people ship them together when the Cat King is just SO nonconsensual and downright creepy towards Edwin. What are people even seeing??"

"Also his apparent idea of romance is trying to coerce Edwin and then trapping him to subject him to continual harassment like dude enough is enough"

I still remind you that without the Cat King, Edwin would probably have had no development in his feelings and his sexuality.

It is literally the fact that the Cat King blocked him in town and tried to seduce him that causes a positive development in Edwin, with his iconic confession to Charles. Without Cat King, there's none of this.

And again, in case these people forget... Edwin's punishment was literally an equivalent of what he did to a cat. The punishment was fair.

Also I call him back, but Edwin seemed very, very willing to the Cat King's advances. I even dare to say that our Cat King sabotaged himself by putting the bracelet on Edwin because otherwise, Edwin would clearly have let himself be kissed and maybe even more.

Edwin did not perceive the Cat King's advances as harassment. On the contrary, deep down, he liked them. It felt good to be desired like that. His whole body language shows he was enjoying this.

And the Cat King being visibly strongly linked to desires, and more particularly Edwin's desires in the logic of the scenario, something tells me that he must have felt it. The Cat King was content to flirt with someone he liked and who he felt liked in return.

Even when the Cat King forced Edwin to tell the truth, it may seem immoral, but it was a good thing for Edwin's character development and even just a good thing in the sense that it allowed him to unravel a weight by confessing something that visibly weighed him down. We can see him nodding very briefly and discreetly when the Cat King tells him that he shouldn't feel better after revealing this ?

I'm tired of seeing this type of person spouting their bullshit. It seems like they're purposely watching the show with their eyes closed. Either that or they don't have an education in media analysis.

I personally believe that what must annoy these people a lot is the fact that even their precious little Edwin, whose honor and physical integrity they are trying to defend at all costs, canonically has a big crush on the Cat King and was completely ready to be kissed by him during their literally first interaction which they like to describe as assault. 😂

Also, even though most of us Catwin shippers would like them to be endgame, we are well aware that it's a low probability and that Charles will surely eventually realize that he romantically loves Edwin in return. On the other hand, these people who spit on the character of the Cat King seem to simply refuse to recognize his importance in Edwin's sexual and romantic journey, trying to portray him as a disgusting abuser who would have traumatized the poor Edwin when just... no.

It's not very complicated to understand what we like about the Cat King and his relationship with Edwin. But for that, these people would already have to have the descent to understand the basis of the character. He is fully present to serve Edwin's positive emotional and sexual development. Without the Cat King, Edwin would probably never have been pushed against the wall in order to fully assume who he is. What the Cat King brings to Edwin is very beautiful and important. And for this to happen, Edwin obviously has to actually feel things for the Cat King. But these people really don't seem ready to hear that either. Basically, we like this relationship because it is well written with a goal and complex characters sharing a connection to tell it to us.

[romchat]

Unknown (2024) visual analysis (ep. 1-8): How to film heartache

This show.

The writing and acting continue to be fantastic, but I feel like I haven't seen enough appreciation for Unknown's cinematography, which captures the heartache of Qian and Yuan's changing relationship so beautifully.

Here are some of my favorite moments of visual storytelling so far...

Framing & Composition

Something that I immediately noticed about Unknown is how much dirty framing it uses. "Dirtying the frame" is when a cinematographer uses architecture, nature, objects, or even people in the foreground to add depth to a shot. In earlier episodes, we often see Qian and Yuan framed together by everyday household objects.

These shots emphasize the uniqueness of their relationship: they are brothers because of the domesticity surrounding them and yet at the same time the framing almost tucks them away into a private space of their own. Their relationship is born from yet separate from the familial space they share with Lilli.

So when Yuan drunkenly confesses his feelings and shatters any lies Qian might have been telling himself about their complex relationship, the camera language loses its earlier intimacy.

We suddenly see more medium and long (versus close-up) clean shots where the characters are surrounded by tons of negative space, isolated from each other.

I also don't think it's an accident that we start seeing more dirty frames again once Yuan leaves for America and Qian realizes how much he misses him.

The New Years scene is a perfect example of this. As Qian miserably cheers an absent Yuan, we see the camera subtly pans to the side of the table where he'd usually sit. No one has been able to occupy that private space at home or in Qian's heart.

Visual Parallelism

In a previous post, I've talked about how visual parallelism (when we link characters, events, storylines, etc. through a shared image) can signal major changes in the relationship between two characters, and the show uses this technique in multiple ways. (Yuan’s cheeky and completely satisfying “is there something you want me to do?” in Episode 8’s seatbelt scene, for one.)

But I think the most striking moment is when Yuan asks Qian to confront his own feelings at the end of Episode 8.

When we look at the composition, camera angles, and actor blocking (how the actors are positioned in relation to one another) we can see that the scene directly mirrors the moment that Yuan gifts Qian with cufflinks in Episode 6. In that episode, Yuan is shot from a high angle, making him look even younger and more vulnerable, while Qian cups his face from above, anchoring him as he tries to give misguided advice:

Qian: I actually feel sorry for you. Isn't it tiring to love him? Yuan: It is. It's so tiring to like someone you shouldn't like. Qian: Then what are you doing? Why are you limiting yourself?

It's notable then that during the last scene of Episode 8, the roles are reversed and the blocking and camera language changes accordingly. Throughout Episodes 7-8, we can see the ways Yuan adopts a more mature approach to his interactions with Qian. He has made it clear that he still cares about him but he will only make another move if Qian clearly expresses his desires. Now it's Qian who is the most unsure and vulnerable, with Yuan anchoring him:

Yuan: Wei Qian, don't you like Wei Zhiyuan? If you do, is it only because we're brothers? This thing about us, is it that you don't want it or that you don't dare?

Like Qian had advised him years ago, Yuan now asks why Qian insists on limiting himself by denying what he wants.

Bonus Parallelism:

Both Yuan and Qian's kiss fantasies mirror each other as well.

[sh4wty18]

makeup.

pairing: johnnie guilbert x reader

summary: you and johnnie are dating and decide to film a video of you doing his makeup

cw: fluff, language, suggestive but nothing major

word count: 1.5k + edited

---

“Hey guys! So today I’m here with…”

“Y/N!” you finish, slightly nervous as it’s your first time streaming alone with Johnnie.

Johnnie giggles a little, sensing your nerves. He gently squeezes your thigh under the desk, out of sight of the viewers, letting you know he’s here for you. You grip his hand in return and squeeze, and he grins in response, stating matter-of-factly,  “Yes! And this is her first time streaming with me! She’s gonna do great, guys. She’s a hundred times cooler than me as it is.” he gazes into your eyes while he says this, providing you with the comfort you need to get over your fear. 

The thought of thousands of people judging your every move is daunting, but you know Johnnie just wants this to be a fun experience for both of you. Plus, his fans have been wanting to see you guys interact on screen for a while now. The edits of you guys together are really cute to be fair, it’s just the sudden fame that comes with dating an internet celebrity has been… a lot. Luckily for the most part, Johnnie’s fans have accepted you with open arms, and they seem genuinely happy to see him finally in a healthy relationship. 

“So today…” Johnnie starts, “Y/N and I thought it would be fun for her to do my makeup, you know, since we have such different styles and stuff.”

“Wow… that description was… enlightening” you respond fake-sarcastically, which elicits an equally fake-sarcastic eye roll from Johnnie. 

“Alright let’s just get into the makeup then if my girlfriend is gonna start bullying me now…” he trails off, as you begin to laugh and grip his arm, and soon he’s unable to contain his own giggling. Even though you both share a jokingly-sarcastic sense of humor with each other, neither of you can ever get through a bit with a straight face. One of you always ends up dying of laughter and the other can’t stop from joining. Johnnie never laughed this much with anyone– other than maybe Jake. But once you guys started dating a few months ago, Johnnie’s been all smiles. 

“Okay, okay!” you say, catching your breath. “So like Johnnie said, our styles are super different. He’s emo and I’m kinda just doing whatever I like at the time. So I figured I would do my typical going-out makeup look for him today.” 

“I’m terrified.” he responds, “I’ve seen your going out looks… There's a lot of glitter involved. I mean you look hot but…”

“Oh you’ll be fine.” you snarkily reply, “You always look hot anyway, this’ll just… amplify your beauty!” 

He laughs, “Okay… I guess I trust you, girlfriend.” Johnnie has made a habit of calling you girlfriend as much as possible. It started as a joke between you guys– pet names that is. You would call each other pookie and boo bear and stuff like that over text and in instagram comments, eliciting hilarious responses from your fans, who had fun trying to figure out if you were being serious or not. Then one day, he called you girlfriend while greeting you in one of his videos with Jake, and you called him boyfriend in response. Ever since then, you’ve been unironically using those titles for each other. You both know it’s corny, but you don’t care. You’re too in love to care. Neither of you have ever felt this deep of a connection with anyone you’ve dated. Nothing about it can be “cringe” because you’re both too happy with each other to mind. 

“Um.. I would hope so, boyfriend.” You roll your eyes at him and he tilts your chin towards his face and kisses you. “Enough PDA, we have work to do!” you back away as he tries to go in for another kiss, “At least let me get started,” you smile back at him, cheekily. 

“Guys did you see that? She swerved me. What the fuck? This is so unfair. My girlfriend hates me.” The chat goes crazy, most people going along with the bit and saying stuff like “how dare you y/n😔” and “nooooo she gagged him lmao💀” 

“Needy, needy man” you grip his chin and peck him, “There, happy now?” 

“Yes… we can start the makeup now” he grins fake-maniacally. 

“Okay, I don’t use primer so we’re just gonna jump right in with concealer…”

—

“Stop, stopppp that’s enough!!!” Johnnie pleads in his raspy vocal-fry shout you’ve heard so many times before in his videos with Jake. 

“We’re almost done, you’re such a fucking baby” You laugh as he blinks down on the mascara wand for what feels like the hundredth time. “Okay now all we have left is lip gloss. But I figured we could do this the fun way, since you are clearly obsessed with me and wanna kiss me so bad” You flip your hair, “I mean, as you should!” 

“Alright we gotta keep this PG for the kids,” Johnnie says in one of his silly voices.

“Since when have your videos ever been PG, sir??” 

“Well… I guess you have a point,” he replies, leaning in and kissing you gently on the lips. You lean into it, and hold his cheek. You both pull away after a couple seconds, not wanting to fully start making out, which is where your innocent kisses usually lead. But considering you’re on stream, maybe that could wait until the cameras were off. 

You apply your favorite lip gloss to your own lips and smirk at him. He quickly catches on and says, “Oh so we’re chapstick challenging this bitch, huh?” 

“Oh yeah.” you laugh, and grip both sides of his face with your hands. At first you plant your lips firmly on his, actually attempting to transfer the lip gloss directly onto his lips. But then, you start planting kisses all over his face, leaving pink sticky smudges wherever your lips decide to land. 

“NOOOO!!! NOOO! HELPPP!! I’M BEING ATTACKED BY MY GIRLFRIEND. CHAT SAVE ME” Johnnie yells, gripping the sides of his desk to try and escape your grasp. 

“You’ll never escape me!!” you yell, leaping out of your own chair and onto his lap, continuing to plant kisses all over his cheeks and forehead. He grabs your waist with one hand, and your neck with the other, pulling you into a real, passionate kiss. One of your hands grips the headrest of his office chair, while the other cups the base of his neck, playing with his hair. 

He gasps for breath after a good twenty seconds, and you two both turn to face the camera, flushed with a mix of embarrassment and desire. “Well… sorry about that guys.” He says sheepishly, then turning to you adds, “The editors are about to go crazy on that one.” 

“No for real” you respond, giggling, “I don’t mind.”

He gazes into your eyes like you’re the only woman he’s ever loved, “Me neither.” And you can’t stop yourself from grinning. 

“How did I get so lucky, guys?” you ask. The chat responses have been super positive since the kiss, with comments ranging from “i feel like i’m interrupting something lol” to “the way he looks at her😭 they’re so in love omg”

“Well, now that I look like a pretty princess, I think we’re gonna call it here, guys. Thank you so much for joining the stream, and if you wanna buy my merch go to johnnieguilbert.com, oh and stream my music.” Johnnie finishes the outro and looks up at you, who is still sitting on his lap, “Anything you wanna add, y/n?”

“Ummm… I guess just that I think this was a really good first one-on-one stream, and you guys all made me feel super comfortable and welcome here, so thank you. Also, look how cute Johnnie looks! He’s so pretty with my pink eyeshadow on. You should do this more often, boyfriend.” 

“We’ll see about that, girlfriend.” he giggles, “And I’m glad you felt comfortable today, you’re awesome and I love being able to make content with you. Alright, bye guys.” he switches off the camera. “You did great! Just like I knew you would. I love you.” 

It’s the first time he’s ever said it out loud, but you can’t say you weren’t expecting it. The way you act around each other, there’s no other name for it other than true, unconditional, intense love. “I love you too, Johnnie.” 

You swing one of your thighs around his legs, straddling him, and he grips your ass with both hands. You wrap your arms around his neck as he leans up to face you. He kisses you like you’re his lifeblood, like he needs you to survive. It’s messy, and primal, and you’re both out of breath and gasping for air, but neither of you want to stop. And in this moment, you know you would do anything to be with him like this, forever. Feeling him, tasting him, breathing him in. You’ve never felt anything quite like this, and you don’t think you’ll ever want to be with anyone else ever again. It's just you and him.   

---

posted this on ao3 first, and i still have 3 more from my ao3 to repost here! likes and reblogs are always appreciated <3

[royalarchivist]

I love the QSMP. Not only has it introduced me to many amazing international creators, it's also introduced me to the French and Brazilian community, who are so sweet, funny, and chaotic in their own unique ways. I love seeing fans sharing their culture and learning from one another, and I myself have learned a lot this past year. I think it's incredible how QSMP brings so many different people together – all of us united in our love and passion for this project and its goals.

But passion can often evoke strong emotions, and these strong emotions aren't always positive.

The past few months, I have seen multiple waves of hate, bad-faith generalizations of communities, and racist remarks directed at fellow fans – especially those who are part of the French / Brazilian community. This kind of behavior is inexcusable, and is in direct conflict with the mission of QSMP, which is to break language barriers and unite communities.

We are a global community with a variety of people from different backgrounds. Miscommunications may occasionally occur because of cultural differences and/or language barriers, but we should use these moments as opportunities to learn and engage with other people rather than assuming the worst about them and starting fights.

Although certain issues can be resolved with communication, sometimes it’s better to block and move on. Avoid spreading negativity or hate, and save yourself the headache of interacting with people who are just looking for someone to argue with.

No matter what community we're a part of or what languages we speak, we're all here to have fun. Please remember to be kind to each other. We have more in common than we have in conflict.

[lowkeyrobin]

hello! can i please request hcs with quackity about being in a long distance relationship with him?

yes omg!! thanks for the request! ; I tried, I tried not that great

QUACKITY ; long distance relationship

summary ; you and quackity are online daters /j

warnings ; language

genre ; fluff

word count ; 686

y/s/n = your ship name

masterlist

you met at Twitch Rivals

you're both content creators which is obviously how you met

you guys bonded over shared interactions and the games you'd both lost

you got along so great that you exchanged information and decided you should stream together sometime

a couple weeks later you were invited to a jackbox stream with him, fundy, tommy, tubbo, bbh, and niki

shit went crazy

"Y/u/n, is there anything you'd like me to call you before we start? Like nickname or just y/u/n?" Niki asks

You graciously answer her, letting her know your name and proffered pronouns. Tommy makes a little, very lighthearted joke before pointing out someone in chat already making you and Niki and you and Alex ship names.

"Oh God, they've got us" You chuckle. "They're both mine, chat"

"AYO? SINCE WHEN?" Alex shouts

Niki giggles, covering her mouth.

"Since now" You shrug

you decided to try dating during the second north carolina meetup

you both had some fuzzy feelings about each other and mutually agreed on 'well hey, we like each other, why not try it out?'

being near the beach and with all your friends made it like a dream

but after two weeks, you had to go home

but you left your relationship untitled for now

Streaming together continued as per usual. So did long talks and phone calls, and hours spent playing video games (mostly Minecraft) together.

the next trip was to LA to visit Alex this time

you guys had your first kiss on his balcony overlooking the city

the way he giggled after omg

during that trip, you established your relationship and started to go on every day dates and stuff

but then you had to go home again

Honestly, both of you didn't really think about what to do with your relationship once you went home. You were taking it all in while you had it and weren't thinking about the very true reality of it all.

you thought talking was constant? it is now

sometimes both of you will just stay up late and rant about what you like about each other and corny shit

youre the one to softlaunch the relationship to fans

you probably guessed the password to his twitter/instagram and changed his bio to "y/u/n's bf 💯💯"

he didnt even know until people were flooding his dms and people on tik tok were talking about it

hed already said he was okay with telling people as long as you were tho

sends you pictures of flower bouquets once a week with some thought out, very loving paragraph or poem

he constantly complains about not being able to kiss or cuddle you

"y/n/n why are you so far away!?"

"i told you id be able to pay for you to live with me"

"UGHHHHHHHHH"

sends you good morning/goodnight texts and talks about what you'd be doing that day if you were together

cheesy little man

always spamming you w pics of Tiger

will religiously send you memes and blow up your phone if you're busy or ignoring him

yk the relationship is srs when even your qsmp characters are in love

the lore.

half of its heartbreaking angst and the other half is literally your bucket lists/daydreams of the future of your relationship

hes so down bad for you

will do anything to make you smile or make you flustered

will make the most suggestive jokes in front of friends, stay silent for a second or two and yell "im joking, im joking!"

orders you doordash/uber eats when you're doing subathons or generally long streams

will always join through vc/greenscreen when youre doing cooking streams

you'll do greenscreen dates (like the fiances stream) once a month and gossip over takeout LMAO

genuinely asks his fanartists to make ship art of you two because he loves seeing all the ideas and cute shit

they always draw you with one of his beanies or hats on, the occasional necklace

you reblog tumblr y/s/n fanart 24/7/365

karaoke streams are a must

you guys rank those "songs that all white people love" videos and rate the songs

dare or hot wing streams when youre literally anywhere but near each other>>

also playing just dance using vc and stream green screen>>>

[scripted-borscht]

Why do I think agathario are well and happy, and why should you think so, too—a comprehensive analysis presented in three acts, supported by scientific evidence.

Or…What if I examined agathario through the lens of quantum mechanics and described it in transparent human language.

Now on AO3 for your convenience.

Act I: Pre-canon.

As we know, Agatha was born during the peak of the witchcraft era in Salem. The concentration of energy within that egregore was so intense that it required something to balance and offload it. This is where Agatha steps into the spotlight; her succubus powers have always been intended as a tool for energy balance.

Let's pause for a moment to explore Agatha's origins more closely. With witches' growing power during that era, the need for a stabilizer became apparent; however, no creature of such nature existed yet. The recipe was clear—a robust vessel designed to securely harness that immense energy within, a vessel that would hold the power to suck out the lives of those who exploit their abilities. Our theory suggests that death particles were used to create such a vessel, - Agatha. If that were the case, it would indicate that agathario is a prime example of quantum entanglement.

Energy generates energy, and every action sets off a chain reaction. As Agatha used her powers more frequently, she became increasingly empowered, eventually reaching a point where stopping was impossible. The overflow of such potent energy within one individual would have undoubtedly destroyed them, eliminating the possibility of that balance tool concept. So, while Agatha balanced the energy of her surroundings, it was necessary to introduce something that would've helped her maintain her own equilibrium.

This is where Death makes an entrance. What could possibly serve as a more fitting counterpart to balance the immense power of such a vessel as Agatha Harkness than a celestial being? Rio was gradually draining the overstock energy within Agatha with every interaction they shared. Everything in the terrestrial space is energy waves; every time you think, speak, move, or feel—especially feel—you transmit energy. Rio was vital for Agatha, she was channeling that extra energy, which allowed Agatha to stay alive. In essence, Rio served as a life support system for Agatha, which becomes more apparent when viewed through the lens of 'Out of Death - Life.' In simpler terms, Rio was draining Agatha's life force so that Agatha could keep balancing the energy field. Their bond grew stronger, eventually becoming imperishable. Feel free to call it "they fell in love" or call them "soulmates" if that resonates with you.

Act II: Canon.

Agatha. Evanora, a formidable witch, instinctively felt that the fetus was something more—something else—something beyond the ordinary realm of life. In 17th-century Salem, education had yet to embrace physics, which was just beginning to emerge as a science. This limited perspective led her to misinterpret the situation, viewing it through the prevalent beliefs of the time and, unfortunately, labeling it as evil. Agatha was never meant to embody evil; instead, humanity labels anything related to death as such, and that perspective is entirely understandable.

As soon as Agatha is born, Evanora is resolutely committed to killing that evil, and, as expected, Death appears at the scene. The moment Rio lays eyes on Agatha, she feels an undeniable connection, realizing they share a unique bond—two halves of a remarkable whole destined to unite and share an extraordinary journey together. So, Death doesn't take the child that night. Instead, Rio intends to empower Agatha to thrive independently by equipping her with essential practical magic skills. As they go through the experience together, they become closer and naturally develop feelings for each other.

Nicky. Any energy can be transported from one location to another by leveraging the principles of quantum entanglement. Because the state of one particle is instantly correlated with the state of another, regardless of the distance between them, it is possible to transfer energy through terrestrial channels without physically moving the energy itself across that distance and without limitations. The concept of zero-point energy proposes that a vacuum state contains minimum energy, which can be manipulated through entanglement.

Agathario represents quantum entanglement, with a vast amount of unutilized energy between them, the extra energy Rio drains from Agatha. All energy must be recycled on the celestial frequency, so it's only logical that the surplus, entering into the reaction with agathario's love for one another, has naturally formed a new life. It is a fact that Nicky was brought to life without the use of any spell or incantation, which makes the creation even more remarkable. He was created by implementing a quantum energy teleportation protocol. Fandom likes to joke that Rio is the father, and it is true, in a way.

However, let's not forget that Rio is a cosmic being coded to take life, so essentially, Nicky is a quantum paradox. He was not supposed to happen. Hence, he couldn't stay on the terrestrial frequency as it would unbalance the natural order.

The Darkhold. Dark magic is a concept without basis. All magic is energy, and energy itself is neutral. However, the Darkhold housed formidable spells, endowing the book with a profound influence over mortals. We know Newton's second law states that the acceleration produced in the body is directly proportional to the external force applied to it. Without external force, the body cannot accelerate. Now, if we consider the contents of the Darkhold as an external force and apply it to the surrounding matter, the book would become animated. This doesn't mean it becomes a living object that can move or interact on its own, but rather that it would possess energy that could affect and respond to anyone who interacts with it. The energy field of the Darkhold was all-consuming; it devoured everything in its vicinity. It also possessed the ability to form a bond with its users, resonate with them, and create some kind of connection.

After Agatha declared her animosity towards Rio, the latter took deliberate steps to ensure Agatha would undeniably possess the Darkhold. As Rio could no longer be around, the book was meant to replicate her effect on Agatha by absorbing the excess energy. The temporary solution was effective until Wanda destroyed all copies of the Darkhold, forcing agathario to revert to the original arrangement. Rio seeks out Agatha right after the Darkhold vanishes, determined to restore her crucial role as Agatha's life support.

Act III: Post-canon. Ghost. What is a ghost, exactly. And why does Rio hate ghosts.

A ghost is an unphysical state in the context of gauge theory. Gauge theory asserts that any reference point remains constant, even if the measurement changes. In simpler terms, it's like when two things appear different, but in essence, they are the same. Therefore, Agatha becoming a ghost does not change her identity; she remains Agatha, just in a non-physical state. Ghost particles are "frozen" in time and space and exist on the border of two frequencies, celestial and terrestrial, making them immune to energy recycling processes. In terms of interaction, ghosts are more aligned with celestial frequencies than terrestrial ones. As a ghost field represents an energy state, interaction on the celestial plane is possible since its essence lies in aether and not in physical matter. Therefore, terrestrial frequency turns out to be challenging for a ghost as it cannot interact with objects physically due to the lack of a physical form.

So, why does Rio hate ghosts. It's quite simple, really. The in-between-two-frequencies realm is the frequency that Rio primarily occupies. Although she is a cosmic entity whose natural habitat is the celestial frequency, her role is to guide energy toward its recycling, which means her "office hours" are spent on the border between realms. Now, It is true that a person becomes a ghost due to unresolved issues, and their energy seeks to complete a cycle before being recycled. When a person dies, they may initially not realize it, trying to act as they normally would. However, they cannot, as they are now in an unphysical state. So, all these confused former humans float around on the same frequency as Rio, trying to figure out what is happening. This situation can definitely be annoying; Rio has a valid point. Furthermore, it adds significant complexity to her role as Death.

Agatha is exceptional, however. First, she has never been just an ordinary human. Second, she possesses enough knowledge to understand what is happening. Third, well, she is Agatha. Agatha becoming a ghost actually benefits agathario significantly. She gains immunity to energy recycling, which allows her to maintain the form that Rio is bound to and loves deeply. They are now on the same frequency, and Rio no longer needs to cross dimensions in order to be near Agatha. Additionally, Agatha is now able to continue her essential work of balancing energies within the witches' egregore, all while encountering fewer risks. Obviously, at first, they would undoubtedly miss the physical aspect of their relationship, particularly sexual intercourse. However, they would come to appreciate and connect with each other on deeper levels, which could be much more fulfilling and enjoyable than mere physical touch.

Bonus: After eons of dedicated service to the Universe, Agatha would be rewarded with a permanent position among cosmic entities as the force of balance. She and Rio would become true equals in every aspect of existence. They would have all of eternity to spend together, work and play:)

That's all, folks! I appreciate everyone who made it to the end. Thank you for taking a moment of your life to read this, and thank you for your interest:)

[dappervoided]

Docs vacation to Quesadilla Island!

So I watched Docm77 last Hermitcraft season 9 episode today and RAN to make this.

More so on the topic!

He needed to take a break and get his creative juices flowing? What's a better break (nightmare) than to come enjoy the island for a short while!

I've been spinning around the idea of Qsmp and Hermitcraft crossover since the start of Qsmp. There's so many ideas in my brain about this topic even though it'll never actually happen! I'm so sorry, but some things are bound to get out of my daydreams and materialize into doodles!

I think Doc would LOVE the eggs! Not to mention all the cute creatures they'd show him! He'd get attached instantly, they're too adorable!

I could only fit 3 here without making it too busy, but I wanna expand on what I could see the interactions being. Massive ramblings, often grammatically incorrect ahead:

Sunny - now we all know she's a material princess, they'd love Docs bedtime stories about the diamond pillar wars and his incredible contraptions made of diamond in the Perimeter and all the riches he had. Now Tubbo not only has Pierre to watch out for, but Doc also, cause Sunny would beg him to make stuff out of diamonds to show off!

Empanada - she'd clock in instantly that Doc is a German and would try speaking to him in German every moment she got. Now she has both her mom Niki and Doc to talk in her language to! It's not much of an expansion, but she appreciates it a lot! They'd have many delightful conversations and Doc is always happy to have her build little things together. They learn from each other!

Ramon - besides finally having another redstone genius with an entire Hivemind on the server, Ramon would be interested in how Doc works - both in a cyborg way and in the way he creates mind-blowing, game breaking contraptions. If they're not destroying the server together for fun, they're not making the most of their time! Jk, but it do be nice when both of them get to hang out and show each other what they discovered that's scuffed on the server.

Some eggs that aren't drawn:

Chayanne - finally! Another farmer came around! Chayanne would show off his impressive potato farm and cooking skills to Doc, who will always be amazed at the kids dedication! Doc can finally have his tomato farm in a Minecraft world now, since the mods allow it! It is too free for everyone to use

Tallulah - If she would show Doc the incredible builds she made and her and her papas place, he would be moved to tears! Everything is made with such love and incredible amounts of effort and thought! From her farm of all possible plants, to her garden and to El Cielo De Las Tortugas. Such incredible places to visit and appreciate! And Tallulahs amazing way of storytelling would only serve to amplify those feelings

Dapper - now besides trying cage trap Doc 1000x times, Dapper would definitely show off everything he got once he discovers that Doc is deeply amused and surprised by all the non vanilla things! They would invite Doc to their base to show everything and I mean EVERYTHING there is for show. It's definitely too much, but Doc is very impressed by her and would praise how much work she puts in! Dapper do be the definition of GRIND!

Leo - Leo and her dads made so many incredible builds, Doc would be amazed at how much they did in such a short time! Besides that Leo herself is an incredibly, theatrically even, good at body language and expression! He'd die of cuteness and laughter like all of us already do!

Pomme - we all know that Pomme has so many talents! From being a little musician, to an incredible warrior, to a thought out builder and a spectacularly emotional writer. There's a lot Doc will have to slowly discover about Pomme! And each time the scale and depths of things will get more and more impressive, because the share amounts of time and effort she puts into her creations, passions and loved ones is massive!

Pepito - this kid! Pepito is such an incredible character to be around! Pepito is so dedicated to whatever Pepito does, especially if it's with friends! Whenever Pepito has fun, it always radiates outwards in many different ways! You can't really help yourself but get charged up with energy when you're around. And Doc does just that!

Richarlyson- Richas is a lot in the best ways possible! But we all know he's very much a jokester, he wouldn't miss a beat trying to mess with the goat! And once he finds out what kinds of retaliations Docs is capable of? OH IT'S WAR (for fun, cause that's what it's all about!)

I'm sorry if this is chaotic at some parts or lacking in others, I have to write this all in one go before my battery dies. I haven't been able to watch many streams so I'm sorry if Im not up to date with the characters, but that is what I remember them as! Any corrections or lore updates are always welcome! I want to learn more, especially now that I can't watch!

Anyhow, now that I look back on that drawing why do I feel like I've done something terrible.... I've seen those designs before......

OH NO

[erenjaegerwifee]

Summers In Pandora 🌸 Day 7 - Make Up Sex

Paring: Jake x Fem!Omatikayan!Reader 

Summary: You and your secret lover got into an argument about his wife. 

Warnings: MDNI 18+, infidelity, toxic relationship, secret relationship, handjob, p in v, kissing, some manipulation, explicit language, 

Word Count: 1.5k

Disclaimer: all my characters are aged-up! If that makes you uncomfortable do not read or interact wiith my account or any of my posts!

Main M.List | Event M.List

“I just don’t understand why you can’t just leave her now Jake!” you shout at him. You were both in the middle of a heated argument about your relationship, you are younger than him and when you started sleeping together Jake was already mated. You knew what you were getting yourself into but you really wanted to bite off a piece of him. Jake already had children at the time but it didn’t stop you.  

He fell into your arms and pussy so easily when he wasn’t getting anything from his wife. You always loved that he wanted you more than her, it gave you some kind of sick praise. “She’s my wife! We have been over this y/n! I’m not leaving her no matter what!” but you seem to forget sometimes, he is with you to fuck, not to love. So your feelings are one sided. He can break it off with you whenever he wants to, but Jake thinks he settled for the first blue goddess that jumped in front of him, he wanted to know if they all taste the same, which is why he was with you in the first place and he made that clear. 

“But Jake we could be happy! I could give you everything! I already give you everything she doesn’t!” you retaliate. You don’t understand why he doesn’t love you the way he should, why he doesn’t care for you the way you care for him, why he doesn’t even stay the night. “Y/n, I’m only gonna explain this to you one more time, and if you don’t cut this shit out, you’re gonna fucking regret it. I love my wife; I am not leaving my wife. You cannot give me anything that I wouldn’t get from her. I am with you simply because I wanted to fuck something else, there is no other reason I am with you besides that cunt between your legs do you understand?”  

You knew this wasn’t a relationship that would last, every few weeks you and Jake get into this argument, every few weeks you scream at each other and say things you don’t mean. Then you make back up but you aren’t sure that’s the case this time, Jake has never said anything like that to you before. He basically admitted he is only using you for your body, he doesn’t want you for anything else.  

Your eyes tear up and you look down at the floor glimpsing the cute, slightly revealing outfit you wore for him today. He sees you as a slut for him to fuck, he doesn’t see you as anything else. You are just confided to this little space you both share then that’s it.  

Jake regrets his words as soon as they come out. He sees the way your eyes get glassy and he feels awful. He didn’t mean for it to come out like that. He only wanted to make his point clear, he was just frustrated at the hectic day he had and he just wanted to fuck out his frustration and you looked so prefect. He didn’t want to hurt your feelings by acting like a dick, he just wanted to do what he always comes here to do without you making and issue.  

“Listen baby I’m-”  

“Save it- go apologize and fuck you wife” your tears fall down your cheek as you silently cry and you storm out of the small hut. “Wait baby come back!” you heard his voice call after you but you couldn’t find it in yourself to turn around. You just ran home and cried softly into your pillows.  

The next few days you see him around the clan as you slowly complete your duties, you usually did them quickly so you could run away and have some private time for them but you stopped. He really hurt you last time and why should you keep putting yourself in a position to get hurt over and over again? You were sour though, you missed him. The way he touched you, held you in his arms, the way he loved on you with his mouth, with his cock. You missed him so much.  

What you didn’t know is jake went to your little hut every day, stayed late everyday just hoping you would come by but you never did. He couldn’t go to your private quarters without being seen and that defeated the purpose of a private arrangement.   

One night you were walking in the forest alone and just happen to walk pass your small shared hut. You were previously in your thoughts that you accidently brought yourself back here. You noticed the light was on and you knew he was in there, ‘what if he brought someone else because you weren’t enough?’  

You couldn’t stop the thoughts from forming and you barged into the hut. You weren’t expecting to see him alone sitting drinking something hot out of a ceramic cup. “Ma baby, you came back, I was waiting for you.” You look at him as he stands up, “All week?” you ask. “No, I came back every day waiting for you. I wanted to apologize for what I said before, I didn’t mean it” your eyes dart around the room you can feel yourself about to cry for the hundredth time this week. 

“Jake, even if you said it in rage, you know you meant it, you love her and you won’t leave her, I think we should just break this off, the point of this was not to frustrate you more anyways.” you face away from him and lean forward against the small wooden table. “No baby, I was angry, I didn’t mean it, I want to make it up to you, so you that I do want you, for more than just your body I love you.”  

Jake comes and wrap around his arms around your body and pulled you into him. You didn’t have the energy to fight him so you stood there in his embrace, “I’m so sorry, let me make it up to you” hearing him say he loved you and he wanted to make it up to you. You always were a sucker for his words, and everything else on him. Jake brought his lips to the spot right under your ear and peppered sweet kisses on your kiss. 

The kisses progressively got more heated and he started sucking on your skin. Jake felt you relaxing into his embrace and he knew he had you back where he wanted you. He turned you around to face him and planted a kiss on your lips. You immediately kissed him back and you both stumbled to the bed he built for the hut. Jake sat down and let you fall into his lap.  

He wasted no time removing for clothes and his own tossing them to the side, “Missed you so much” he whispered as raised your body and lowered you on his dick. Jake felt your cunt drip on the head of his harden cunt and lowered you down slowly on him, he mumbled against your skin how tight you were, how much he missed slipping his cock into you. 

When you bottomed out, he’s hands gripped your waist and moved you up and down on him, his cock graved your g-spot so perfectly you couldn’t help but mewl his name. He watched proudly as you fell apart on him while apologizing for being mean and making you so upset, it was the most perfect make up sex you ever had. When you were about to cum, he felt you clamp down on his cock and he smirked, “Gonna cum on this cock baby, go ahead cum on me. Let me feel you gush babygirl”  

Jakes knew how to get you hot and bothered and he always knew when you were close to your release. You cum on his cock without warning and he fucked you on his cock as your body slumped. His thrust slowly stopped and he let you sit on his lap dripping cum between his thick thighs before you get off him without warning.  

You slump down to the floor and took his cock in your hands and stroked it, you knew he was close when he started moaning above you, when he told you how pretty you look on your knees and how he could never get tired of watching you get him off. You stuck you tongue out and he shot his cum all over your face and chest. Barely any landed on your tongue but more on your cheeks and tits, not that you minded.  

Jake cleaned you both up and laid with you on the bed for a while, you knew he’d have to go home eventually but it was just something you will have to deal with. He was probably the love of your life though; you would continue this toxic relationship just to make him happy.  

🌸I hope you all enjoyed reading! I know I took a minute to continue this prompt list but I promise I’m going to continue writing it until it’s finished!

Taglist

@rivatar @delusionalwh6re @strongheartneteyam @xylianasblog @nilahsstuff @inlovewithpandora @neteyamsoare @m1tsu-ki @kylimarz @teymars @xrollingmyeyesx @goofygremlin123 @quicktosimp @its-jennarose @r11k4 @anonymuslydumb @winterhi09

[pinkeoni]

WillEl Narrative Mirroring: Presenting Themes of Sexuality

If we consider powers as a means to present themes of sexuality, then looking at Will & El and how they mirror each other in narrative can reveal different angles on this topic and how the two sides of the coin come together to create a balanced whole.

Very very lengthy discussion of sex, sexuality, sexual assault, and child sexual abuse below the cut.

Will and El being different genders is important to their narrative mirroring, because they are displaying the difference between expectations in regards to male and female sexuality. Let's start with El and what her story says about female sexuality.

Layering the subtext behind supernatural elements is both practical and ethical, and I honestly applaud the Duffs for choosing to go this route rather than making it more explicit from the start, and instead sewing in details along the way. It helps keep the story digestible, allowing for a story like this to be shared to a wider audience while also not forcing their incredibly young actors to portray potentially very traumatizing circumstances.

I'm not the first nor will I be the last person to talk about all of the csa coding regarding El, Brenner, and the lab, especially here on tumblr. I was actually sent an anon awhile back linking a blog post back from 2016 that analyzed this exact thing.

"Eleven's interactions with 'Papa' are laden with coercive, coded language, intentionally leading viewers to make sexual abuse connections beneath the surface of the experiments we are shown. Eleven, vulnerable in a thin hospital gown, is told to "go deeper" and to ignore the men watching her perform. She is told the monster wants her, to go farther, "not to turn away from it." This language is intentionally loaded."

Girls are often forced into their sexuality at a young age, usually for the gratification of men

Young El, in hardly a hospital gown, is being forced to utilize her powers for the sake of Papa Brenner and other men in the lab. The sexuality/power connection is being established very early on.

And even once El has escaped the clutches of the lab and seems to find safety—

And before I have fingers pointed at me, no I am not trying to vilify Mike for this moment nor any of the boys for wanting to use El's powers to find Will. It's more complicated than that. The boys were young, their friend was missing and in danger, and they were excited by the prospect of a real life superhero being able to save their friend. I'll also get into how Mike is a victim of this forced heteronormative relationship much later in the post.

But still, even without meaning to, the boys are reinforcing the role that El is expected to fulfill, which is to use her powers and sexuality in service to the men in her life

Something impressive about that blogpost I linked earlier is the rightful calling out of how gross miIeven is way back in 2016, when the two were considered America's cutest couple by the general public.

"Crucially, in the climax, after Eleven's body is once again used for others, Mike promises her a home, and Eleven shows a glimpse of light, is almost comforted. She'll have a family, she'll have safety. Promise? No, Mike says. She'll have their mother, but while she's wearing his sister's dress he explains she won't be a sister, that he wants Eleven to meet his desire for a girlfriend. How could he possibly understand that more boundaries and a boyfriend is the opposite of what she needs?"

Girls oftentimes do not see many options outside of their sexuality

Starting in season 2 El has two modes of thinking: girlfriend or superhero. Her line of thinking isn't helped much by Hopper, who keeps her isolated from outside world. And like the boys, this is a complicated situation. Hopper is keeping El inside for the sake of her safety, lest the government catch her and lock her up again, and either use her or kill her. Still, this isn't good for her personal development.

Whereas Brenner was the sexually abusive dad who forced his daughter into adult roles at a young age, Hopper is playing the role of the overprotective dad who doesn't want to see his little girl grow up, something that continues in season 3. In his eyes, he is keeping El protected from the men of the outside world who are likely to want to take advantage of her, and keeping her locked in is his way of preventing that. But doing so is damaging to El's psyche in ways he may not realize.

So El is kept locked inside with some of her few windows to the outside world being spying on the boy who wanted her to be his girlfriend, and spending the entire day on the couch watching romantic soaps. Her options regarding freedom are skewed.

When El gets her first taste of freedom and leaves the cabin, she's in girlfriend mode. We know this when we see her go to Mike and she misreads and becomes jealous of his interaction with Max. Now I won't deny that El and Mike do have genuine care for each other, but here she ditches a boy that she hasn't seen in almost a year because he seems to have found another girl to fill that girlfriend role.

Having been hung up on in the void and replaced, El changes trajectory: superhero.

I do want to point out and emphasize the importance of El going to see Terry before this moment. El is not a robot that is programmed for sex and powers. She is very much human, and we see her desires for family and the life she could have lived, which is her motivation to seek both Mama and Kali.

Kali, another woman with powers who had been mistreated like her, offers El an alternative— use her powers against the men that have hurt her. When El sees that Kali is seeking her power as a means to use them, El leaves to save her friends and family.

I once again want to reiterate again El's humanity and her heart. El isn't returning to Hawkins simply as a means to become Mike's girlfriend and to become a superhero. She is doing so because she wants to save the people that she loves. Still, El's resolve for the season isn't super ideal given her overall arc. She is effectively fulfilling the roles that have been charted for her since the beginning. She learns that she can be a superhero and a girlfriend! Yay!

With danger out of sight, El seems to be spending her time doing the only other thing she thinks she can do, kissing Mike in her room. An activity which is described by Hopper and the rest of the party as being "unhealthy" and "bullshit."

So what is the solution? Completely remove her sexuality as Hopper aims to do?

We now come to my favorite friendship in the whole show, as well as the most important character in El's arc—

Max doesn't suppress El's sexuality or enforce it onto her, but rather is the first person who allows El to explore what she wants, offering her assistance but allowing El to lead the way. Brenner, Kali, Hopper, and Mike have all wanted to shape El into what they wanted her to be. For Brenner, a weapon. Kali, an avenger. Hopper, the perfect daughter. Mike, the perfect girlfriend. Max wants El to be whatever El wants to be. (God I love the elmax friendship so much)

Like I said before, Max does not aim to strip away El's sexuality like Hopper does. Hell, I wouldn't even say that she wanted to keep El from Mike. Hell, Max was even asking El if Mike was a good kisser after El had dumped him. Max is the one who offers to give El her moms Cosmo magazines. She isn't keeping El in the dark about sex and sexuality, but offering her a road map and actual information in order for El to come to her own conclusion about what she wants from it. El can look at pictures of Ralph Macchio and use her powers to spy but also enjoy shopping, listening to Madonna and reading comics.

When El is pushing her powers to find Billy, something that El choses to do of her own volition, it's the girls in her life (Nancy and Max) who advocate for her to lead the way while Mike is the one who wants to control her. And yes, once again the situation is complicated, Mike isn't doing this to be an asshole but out of concern for her safety, but needless to say he isn't beating the controlling boyfriend allegations. And this displays another facet of female sexuality—

Men often feel insecure when women exhibit ownership over their sexuality

Mike, who previously advocated for El to use her powers if it meant helping someone, is now actively pushing against it when it's El in the driver's seat and not him. And maybe Mike was right and El was pushing herself too far. And maybe he was concerned out of guilt for pushing her the first time, but would it also be too out of left field to say that Mike equates his part of his self worth on how much El needs him?

So maybe now I’ll talk about Mike

Mike really isn’t trying to be this malicious, manipulative guy who is using El for sex. Really, he’s not. Mike instead is a young boy who is going through some rather tough internal struggles of his own, and unfortunately brings El into it with him.

Mike is enforcing the heteronormative relationship onto himself just as much as he is doing it to El

I personally read Mike as gay and that plays into this analysis. Mike found a girl that he cared a lot for and everyone around him assumed that he must have feelings for her, so he played the role of the straight boyfriend. When I see Mike making out with El in her bedroom, I see a gay boy constantly trying to become attracted to his own girlfriend. Maybe if he keeps kissing her, maybe it’ll do something for him.

Keep in mind that Mike believes that that’s what El wants him to be, he’s not forcing onto her something that he doesn’t think she doesn’t want. He may have kissed her first, but then El was the one who tried to kissed him at the Byers house. Mike is mistaking El’s own confused feelings for genuine ones.

Being El’s boyfriend was Mike’s way of giving El what she needed, a way to be useful while simultaneously giving him a way to be normal. But what happens when his true feelings are starting to become harder to ignore?

Remember that Mike wasn’t writing “Love, Mike” when he believed that El was doing okay on her own in Lenora and making new friends. It almost makes me wonder if Mike would have said “I love you” to El if she had told Mike she was in distress.

But then again, we do see El in distress in front of Mike and yet Mike still can’t bring himself to say it. It isn’t until El is quite literally on her deathbed that Mike finally works up the courage.

In season four we have El regressing into her superhero or girlfriend mindset, with a third option added— monster.

A pinkeoni analysis that mentions El’s superhero/monster dichotomy???? SHOCKER!!

When girls are not seen as sexually desirable, they oftentimes feel monstrous as a result

El doesn’t have her powers anymore, and Mike no longer sees her as worthy of being a girlfriend, which means that she must a monster. This is a thought that is reaffirmed through El’s treatment from her classmates, and later El’s intrusive memories regarding the massacre. The only way El knows to escape this monster label is to regain her powers using NINA. This is what El knows, how to become a superhero. This is how she becomes desirable again.

I think that Max’s distance from El is a good contributing factor. Not the only one, but a main one for sure. El no longer has that guiding force, and there isn’t a girl in Lenora that understands her disposition and seems willing to take her under her wing. Sure she has her new mom Joyce, who is usually on the phone. Or her new brother Jonathan, who is usually stoned. And her new brother Will, whom we see try an give El support only for her to shut him down with “friends don’t lie.”

So El goes through NINA, gets her powers back, learns she isn’t the monster after all, oh and her boyfriend can say “I love you” now. And yet, as El realizes at the end, it’s not enough.

I promise this post is also about Will too

Now is the part of the post where we shift gears and finally talk about Will. El has more screen time than him, so there’s more to cover. I also felt like discussing her first laid some important groundwork in regards to how Will mirrors her narrative.

El showcased a lot of facets regarding female sexuality. Will covers aspects of male sexuality, but specifically gay male sexuality, which is an important distinction.

What does Hawkins feel about gay men?

Yeah, it’s not looking good.

Gay men are oftentimes perceived as predatory and dangerous

Will’s sexuality is practically an open secret. Will goes missing, and the town’s first thought is that he was taken by another gay man. Troy doesn’t say it directly, but the implication behind his words is that Will was raped and then killed, thus feeling the need to clarify that the man behind it was “another queer.” Gay men rape little boys and throw them into quarries, or so the town thinks.

The eighties is also such an important set piece for this narrative because the entire show takes place right in the midst of the Reagan Administration and the AIDS epidemic. A young gay boy dies and its suspected that another gay man killed him. The government is eager to sweep under the rug what actually did it. The anniversary of Will's kidnapping is Reagan's 1984 reelection date to the day.

Heterosexual men are treated differently on the basis of their sexuality

Well, duh. But I did want to highlight the differences between gay Will and his evil-straight-name-twin, Billy.

Billy wears his sexuality proud and openly. Based on Max's dialogue in season 3 we know that he has sex with girls often. In his introduction we are immediately shown girls ogling him. He arrives in town and is instantly liked and regarded. He catches the eyes of the hot moms in town and he's liked by the other guys.

Oh, and he's racist, violent, abusive, and overall a total sack of shit.

We see Billy's sudden rise to popularity in the same season that we see Will's incessant bullying and him being branded "Zombie Boy" by what seems to be the entire town. Even Billy who's been in town for like a day is already calling him "the freak." Will is sweet, kind, friendly, wouldn't hurt a fly, but he's the weird homo whereas Billy is the cool straight guy with the nice butt.

Gay men's sexualities are often suppressed

So now we get to the part that exhibits the WillEl mirroring, as well as some “Will has powers” theoretics. I guess your willingness as a reader to continue forward may depend on your feelings toward Will with powers. I may lose some of you, or maybe I may even swing some skeptics with my explanation. As I say in most of my posts: bare with me.

If El's sexuality and powers are being forced upon her, then Will's sexuality and powers are being forcefully snuffed out.

Let's take a look at Lonnie Byers, in many ways similar to Papa Brenner and in many ways his antithesis. Both abusive fathers with silver hair, Brenner is the obsessive parent who wants his fingers all over his daughter while Lonnie is the distant parent who wants nothing to do with his gay son. Joyce's dialogue "Lonnie said he was queer. Called him a fag." indicates that his homophobia probably has something to do with his distancing. Lonnie's verbal abuse of Will was likely a method of trying to snuff out his queerness. And when that didn't work, he left.

(and if you wanna get theoretical you could say that he had connections to the lab, knew about Will's powers and was trying to get rid of them, but that's just speculative)

A big part of season one is the fact that the entire time, Will was in his own house. He was spending his time running and hiding from the monster that was in his own home, the one that wanted to kill him. And the only time he ever expressed himself, the only time he ever used his powers—

—was when his loving and supportive mother encouraged him.

But also keep in mind that almost every time Will tries to speak with his mother through the lights, express more of himself and use more of his powers, it usually attracts the presence of the monster. Will continues his cycle of running and hiding until it doesn't work anymore, and we get what is perhaps the most overt sexual assault imagery in the show that even little fifteen year old Robin Pinkeoni picked up on in 2016.

Season one ends with Will experiencing sexual violence, and in season two we see how this trauma is encroaching on his everyday life, as well as being stalked by the same man that took him and shoved a vine down his throat for the sake of reproduction. He follows Will to the arcade. He follows him while he's trick-or-treating with friends. He finds Will at home. Eventually, he finds Will after hours at school where he's able to reenter his body in the second most overt sexual assault imagery in the show.

Where El's sexuality was suppressed in season 2, Will's sexuality was being forced upon

Will is feeling the effects of this assault for the rest of the season. He's finding it hard to sleep, and constantly feels the presence of the man who attacked him, everywhere.

Vecna is possessing Will because he wants to use him as a vessel to control help control his army, and for whatever other powers Will may have. If El never closed the gate, if Vecna had completely taken over Will's body as he originally planned, what would he have done from that point on? Would he have just discarded Will's body, or was there something special about him that he needed?

Will begins to believe that everything people say about gay men is true about him

Keep in mind that at this point Will's only experience and exposure to gay sex is being assaulted twice, all while his father and the whole town is bullying him and telling him that gay men are predators. Will isn't a predator. He isn't dangerous and we know this about him. And yet Will uses the freak label in a negative way.

So it's no surprise given the internal and external that Will is suppressing his sexuality even further.

In season 3 El begins her journey of self-discovery and likes what she finds. Will knows exactly who he is

and he hates it.

Will fucking hates himself bro. He knows he gay. And he accepts it. But he also accepts all of the labels and restrictions that it comes with. I am gay. My sexual desires are dangerous. I can never express and experience love and sex the way I want to.

And maybe there is a glimmer inside of him that sees that what he is is a wonderful thing, that maybe he does deserve better than all the abuse he's endured just for being who was.

And maybe these feelings were easier to pack away when he was younger. Maybe it was easier to say "I'm not gonna fall in love" when you're fourteen, but as you get older and grow into your teenage years...

...maybe your desires are getting harder to ignore.

What happens when you don't die innocent, and you grow up instead?

So we bring it around to season 5

El is a superhero and a girlfriend again. But it's not enough. Something is missing and she isn't fulfilled. Max is missing, and El is going to have to face and overcome her biggest challenge yet, which is completing her journey of self-discovery that started in season 3. She's going to have to put aside the expectations that many have for her and decide what she wants.

Will Byers is back in town. How has the climate surrounding gay men changed since then?

Oh! It's worse now!

Remember, the town believes that the same sodomizing Satanists are the ones behind the recent murders and earthquake. It's gonna be really bad for Will when he gets back.

So now Will is tasked with a challenge that is harder here in Hawkins than it might have been in Southern California. Maybe Will can't change the minds of these religious townsfolk but maybe he can somehow find a way to shift his own way of thinking. Embrace who he is, embrace his powers, and realize that he deserves more than the hand he's been dealt.

So that was... a lot

Analysis mostly over. Here are some of my concluding thoughts.

I know that this is probably one of my longest posts ever. I know that a lot of it feels like reiterating plot points, but that really felt like the best way for me to articulate all of my thoughts on this. A lot of it needs to be backed up with evidence from the show.

Also, sometimes when I sit down to make a new analysis, sometimes I don't make it because I think I have all of the answers, but I make it as a way to try and find answers. To talk through some of my long and complicated thoughts and open the floor to discussion. Even with the length of this post, there is waaaaaaaaay more that can be discussed regarding this topic (some that has already been discussed).

To wrap everything up, I wanna share this screenshot from Reddit, which low-key inspired this entire thing. For context, this was in response to a question asking if people expected to see a Will coming-out scene in season 5.

So, hopefully with this long ass post, I've proven that maybe the show is about the complex effects of one's sexuality in the 80's, actually.

[nanamis-bigtie]

kindest lies

"It's… rather urgent." Next to exhaustion there's hesitation in the assistant's words. As if she dreaded sharing the data with you. "There's a huge risk of civilian casualties. We suspect it might be an act of jujutsu terrorism."

Five people get cursed under atypical circumstances. For the tracking and locking properties of your cursed technique you're requested to assist Atsuya during the investigation. Following the curse user's trail, you sink together into the world of izakayas, night clubs and love hotels. And you do everything in your might to not think about last summer's day that has irreversibly changed the terms between you two.

Written for gender neutral reader. No gendered language, no body descriptions, they/them pronouns may appear as pronoun placeholder if necessary in dialogues. Y/N used as a name placeholder.

↬ kusakabe atsuya x gender neutral reader

↬ cw: coworkers to lovers, mutual pining, slow burn, canon-typical violence, investigations, hurt/comfort, alcohol, forced proximity, self confidence issues, eventual smut, MINORS DON'T INTERACT

↬ chapter directory: chapter 1 (you're here) | ...more to come

↬ word count: 3,138

↬ a/n: The idea for this fic got born out of secret santa prompts given by @clumsyraccoon. It was supposed to be a simple one-shot but it just kept eating my brain space, until it couldn't be contained within a single chapter - and then waited for the right time (aka when I'll refill strength after a massive burn out & stop being such a chicken). It's been almost a year but it's finally here. Coony, I hope you will forgive me this extremely long wait 😅

Chapter 1

It feels like you've barely closed your eyes when the phone vibrations under your cheek force them open again. 

Darkness around you only adds to the impression; the curtains you always keep shut tight for the night deal even with full noon light, making it impossible to estimate the time right. With a groan, you turn your head to the other side and press it into the pillow, hoping it's just a dream, wrong number or a pushy call center, not an emergency or worse—another mission. Hell, you would take even an earthquake warning, if you wouldn't have to crawl out of your apartment because of it.

Luck is not on your side. Vibrations cease only for a few seconds, just enough for the stubborn person on the other side of the call to choose your number again. Dull buzzing starts anew, bright light from the screen sneaks under your tortured eyelids, and finally jolts you awake. You sit and wipe your face, then squint at the clock and the name of the insistent intruder. You can't match it with a face but there might be only one kind of a person who would scramble for attention this early in the morning.

5 a.m. What sins did you commit to deserve it?

"It better be something important." You screech into the speaker instead of a greeting. When clearing your throat doesn't help, you put the phone on the speaker and reach for the half-empty bottle left on the bed stand.

It's lukewarm and tastes of plastic.

"Y/N? I'm sorry, did I wake you up?" The woman on the other side sounds as miserable and tired as you. She must have been heading home from the night shift or forced out of the bed even earlier than you. The peak cursed season doesn't discriminate, it sucks everyone dry, from the bottom to the top of the sorcery ladder and is probably the closest to the fair share you can experience in this damned profession. Everyone is perpetually exhausted and looking forward to September when the tension will mellow down to the usual levels.

Thinking back, you feel a little sorry that you couldn't bring yourself to be at least a little nicer to her. But you bet the woman doesn't resent you for being grumpy. She definitely heard worse than your exasperated lack of manners.

She introduces herself and gives you her identification number and the code confirming she indeed is an assigned assistant. She's specific to a fault and you're grateful for that. You're not sure if the scrambled remains of your brain would be able to pick the crucial information if she beat around the bush.

"Sorry, I think I'm out of commission for now," you say quickly right after fulfilling your part of the greet-and-identify ritual. You don't want to take this job but at this point you won't fall back asleep, so you sit down and firmly place your feet on the cold floor to chase the drowsy feeling away. You need a shower and fresh clothes; it was a little before 1 a.m. when you crawled into your apartment, stripped to your underwear and fell face down into the bed. Hell, you could use some breakfast too...if there was anything left in the fridge. You can't remember the last time you ran groceries.

"It's a personal request." The assistant cuts in before you can continue with your excuses. Her voice is as apologetic as determined to deliver her part of the job—or at least to fight hard enough for the higher ups to not hold her responsible for your refusal. You can't blame her, really.

"An assistance?" You take a wild guess. 

Peak season meant also peak mortality, leaving the "lucky" survivors with huge gaps to fill regardless of their specialization, which leads to many frantic reshuffles when the situation turns out to be too risky for a blind escapade. This demand touches especially the sorcerers whose skills can cover a wide range of crises, like you. Hard tasks are almost always assigned to heavy hitters—and heavy hitters look for support on their own account. For help with barriers and rituals, for cursed technique boosters, and for all the technical details that don't look as impressive in the CV as The Big Strong Cursed Techniques do, but often require even more skill to be performed safely.

Unless you are Gojo Satoru, sooner or later you will run into a mission where you need a helping hand to be able to use your own cursed technique.

And unless you have one of those Big Strong Cursed Techniques, you will play the helping hand role more often than doing your job solo.

The math is easy and, at least in your opinion, weirdly fair when it comes to covering the pay gap. Being a second grade, you would need to cover thrice as many solo missions to climb to the same financial level as those from the top. Depending on the person calling for assistance, support can be paid almost the same as an average solo for your grade—or even more, if it's the first grade who tend to overuse their privilege of getting round the path through the officials. There's also more regular contact with those on the top—who can whisper a word where it's needed, spiraling your chances for a promotion.

If only it wasn't so fucking exhausting once the peak season hits...

"Look, I would love to—" Your strategy is to not let the assistant pull you into discussion. They have their tricks to manipulate reluctant sorcerers into taking new missions. And you hate to admit some of them work on you every single time. "—but I've just come back. I have twelve hours of rest protection secured in my contract. Ask someone else, it's Tokyo, there's definitely someone—"

"I've checked." Now it's her turn to butt in your word. "I know you're under protection, I looked through the agendas of every sorcerer active from here to Miyagi, and everyone is already assigned. I did what I could, Y/N. There's literally no one else to replace you."

"Postpone it?"

The situation is dire. If an assistant—who's usually on the sorcerers' side in this everlasting game of tug of war between them and the higher ups—says nothing can be done, it really means it. At this point you know you're taking it, but negotiations won't hurt. It's not your first rodeo, you know with high demand comes incline towards meeting halfway and bandying bonuses around.

"It's… rather urgent." Next to exhaustion there's hesitation in the assistant's words. As if she dreaded sharing the data with you. "There's a huge risk of civilian casualties. We suspect it might be an act of jujutsu terrorism."

You don't answer immediately, weighing words and options. The deeper you dig, the thicker this cesspool becomes. But before you find a way to fend off this stick, there goes the ultimate carrot, "It's paid extra, too."

"How much?"

You swallow that bait as if she coated it with your favorite dessert—and you curse yourself in thoughts for letting that question slip. You don't think of yourself as a greedy person, but hardly anyone does this job out of a kind heart.

"We haven't got official approval yet but given the circumstances and the request itself? That's gonna be the standard rate, not support."

"So, you're sending me somewhere in Miyagi?" You sigh into the silence on the other side of the speaker. The assistant said everything she had to say and is just waiting for the inevitable, her determined chirping replaced now by the hum of the car and subdued music on her radio. You can't recognize the band playing but you can tell it's one of the older western ones.

"Okay. Who's calling?" You give up when the quiet gets awkward. There's still some water left in the bottle; you swirl it a few times before bringing it to your parched lips.

"Kusakabe."

Your hand trembles, some water spills down your chin and neck. You haven't choked but your sore throat still answers with coughing. Fighting against the spasms, you even forget the shock that caused everything, at least until the concerned assistant snaps you back, "Is everything alright?"

"Yeah." Nothing is alright, it's just gotten significantly worse, but you'd be rather cursed than return to negotiations—even if you've just become even more reluctant to take this mission. "I just took a weird sip."

"I'll be at your place in about thirty minutes, will you make it?"

Trying to stuff the panic at the very back of your exhausted brain, you do a quick run through the mental map of your current state. You should find some fresh clothes. Coffee? No time for it but there should be an emergency bottle of green tea somewhere. Breakfast? No chance, even if you by miracle saved something in the fridge. Shower? Yes, this one is possible.

"Yeah, if you grab me a sandwich and something warm and caffeinated."

"On it."

You want to scream.

First few minutes of your precious time you spend lying flat across the bed and staring at the ceiling. You're nothing but a pile of refusal and exhaustion far different than physical. Why him, of all possible options? Why not Nanami and his dry demeanor, professional to a fault and ready to throw hands for the sake of even pay? Why not Usami who wouldn't exchange a needless word and let you work in peace? Hell, you would take even Mei and the risk of being abandoned with the slightest inconvenience over...that.

How are you supposed to work in those conditions? How are you supposed to look him in the eyes after what happened between you two?

The solitary life of a sorcerer has, despite everything, its perks—comfort of avoiding people you don't want to see the biggest of them. Unless you get called on the carpet or are forced to partake in a group mission, you rarely see anyone other than randomly assigned assistants and windows. Meetings outside the work are easy to avoid and since that day, you've become a master of excuses. You worked hard for the distance between you two, almost a year now since you've exchanged more words than sparse greetings while passing by. Not even once your eyes met, his flying far above your head, as if you were made of thin air, yours stubbornly boring into the floor as you quickened your pace and hid behind the first corner possible, before anyone would see, before either of you two would get a very bad idea.

At the beginning, he tried. He tried but you were faster than his incoherent attempts of starting conversation. He once even caught your wrist and pulled you as you started walking away—but released you as soon as your eyes met for the last time.

You would love to claim that you forgot, both that day and the look in his eyes before he turned on his heel and retreated. Up to now], if you closed your eyes, you could recall the feel of the anguished clench of his hand.

You peel eyes off the ceiling and look at your wrist, half-expecting bruises shaped like his fingers, but your skin is as clean as ever. Just in a desperate need of a shower.

Twenty-five minutes to go.

Hope dies last. You peek into your box with coffee pods (empty), into the fridge (empty bar a moldy tomato), into the cupboard (empty, no emergency tea left). You gather dirty clothes you find on the way to the bathroom and stuff them into the laundry basket (overloaded). You don't have time to wait for the right temperature, so you jump into the shower (dirty) right as it is. It's more energizing than you thought but you must get out right as it warms up to the right level and your mood immediately drops back.

Soapy stains on the mirror diffuse your reflection: parched lips, pale unhealthy-looking skin, red eyes and gigantic shadows under them. If you survive both Kusakabe Atsuya and whatever cursed crap he's called you for, you're going to call the contract cleaners and spend the forced day out in a hotel with a spa. Maybe a set of good sushi, too. Or a night out with friends, to drink and forget whatever awaits you—and something tells you it's going to be one hell of a pile to wash down.

"It better be a really good pay", you mutter to yourself with half a heart.

You hate this day, you hate this job, you hate yourself for how mushy you feel right under the layer of exhaustion and panic.

The only clean clothes you have left are worn-out jeans and a nerdy t-shirt you use for your no pants days. You're going to regret this when the summer reaches its peak later that day, but so far, it's still somewhat crisply outside. Perfect time for coffee...if you had it, that's it, you recall not without an irritated huff as you lean against the lantern in front of your apartment complex. The streets are empty and silent, life around is barely starting and stretching its limbs. In moments like this you almost like Tokyo.

The assistant surely takes her time and by the time she finally finds you, sleepiness has already crawled back on you. In your current state you stand out like a sore thumb next to that damned elegant car all assistants are driving, at least until you collapse on the backseat and realize the inside is no better than your apartment. Under other circumstances you wouldn't be thrilled to drive all the way to another prefecture next to empty McDonald's bags, with empty energy drink cans between your feet, but at this point you just don't care. You're going to pass out soon anyway.

"Yeah, a total state," the assistant hands you an iPad before your drink and sandwich. You're not sure if she meant her car or whatever awaits you in the case files.

Screen brightness is set to maximum; you squint your eyes, suddenly painfully aware that sand under your eyelids is rather a glass wool at this point. It's impossible to read like this but you grin and bear it, with, hopefully, an expression not as miserable as you feel. At least you can tell that the notes were taken in a hurry, they lack the typical formatting and order, making the job much harder for you, of course, but you feel less shitty for giving up and relying on the assistant and her explanations.

Coffee is black, strong, and with an ungodly amount of sugar. Oh, she knew what kind of boost your brain would need.

You're waiting for the perfect moment to attack with questions when a call comes, almost shaking the car with the volume alone. Assistant flounders in an apology and hands you a tissue but you don't bother to wipe those few droplets of coffee off your pants when that name peeks at you straight from the car's touchscreen. A solid 3/10 you were giving this morning so far has dropped far below zero, together with your heart, rolling now somewhere between Monster Energy cans.

"Nakagawa, is Y/N with you already?" Atsuya's voice is all around you, tacky, drowsy, with that characteristic hoarseness of a pulled all-nighter. You wish you hadn't known him enough to imagine how he looks now so easily. Maybe your body wouldn't react in such a... pathetic way. 

Wagging your tail like this just at the sound of him so close? Do you have no shame?

"I'm here." For once you're glad you're so tired. Tension in your voice can easily pass as dryness of the throat—and you add to it with a hearty cough. "Morning."

"Oh. Hi." There's a change in how he sounds. A slight but still is. Oh, how you hate yourself for being able to pick it up. "Good morning."

There's a click of an opened can, a few deep sips, and a long, relieved exhale—that has little hairs on the back of your neck stand up. You hear gravel under his feet, an eerie feeling of being approached; you tense shoulders and let a peek to the side slip, as if he really, physically came to you, about to casually tap your back, that infuriatingly casual habit of his.

Before you even liked how straightforward he is. After just a thought of being touched fills you with a maelstrom of conflicted feelings. You haven't even gotten rid of his fingers off your wrist yet. You wouldn't wipe that comforting—impertinent—tap off for ages.

"You can scratch the risk of civilian casualties out." Atsuya's steps finally still, he either sits down or leans against something with a little groan to it. "One guy just tapped out."

You hide an awkward grunt behind another sip of coffee. People get cursed and die every day, in a job like this you're getting used to it fast—or you tap out yourself. It doesn't get any easier to hear about it, though, even if it's better to pretend otherwise.

"A corpse in a resume even before I seriously started. Fucking crap. I wanna go home." Atsuya doesn't care and it's something you still envy him. To shake it off just like that, to treat human life like another paperwork to deal with instead of spending the night in an izakaya or in front of tv. "This is going to get ugly really fast. That woman from number two... When did it happen? Eh, whatever, Nakagawa will give you the details. But I don't think she'll make it, we found her pretty late, too."

There are five names on the list; the signs are blurred for your tired eyes, but you can tell as much. You highlight the first line and mark it red.

Four cursed ones remain.

"Grab some sleep, if you can." Atsuya's voice grows softer, bringing out that mushy, soft feeling that's been lurking at the edges of your mind. "I'm gonna catch up, too. I'm counting on you."

He leaves the car in silence, thick like tar and having your muscles painfully tense. You need a deeper breath but you're afraid you're going to betray all your thoughts and emotions, so you run on short, barely audible ones.

"Kojima Eitaro, forty-six, salaryman." Nakagawa tries to pull your attention towards the case, but she could as well just speak to the wall. "Found unconscious by the door of his apartment on Thursday, August 3rd, around seven in the morning. The source of the curse: unknown."

ao3 version // jjk masterlist // kofi // dividers by @/saradika-graphics