#because it never does and it never willš
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"The show is about to start."
One more mention of being a spectator, an observer. The idea of the Manipulator implies that he doesn't get his hands dirty, he
And this time Liu Xiao has a flower bouquet, implying he intends to meet his favorite performer (Lu Guang).
Spiderworts symbolize enduring love, just like Myositis, but also immortality and moral authority. Its other names are Widowās Tears and False Dayflower.
Interesting.
The former, reminds us of the black widow of course. This name is related to the female's bad habit of eating the male after mating. Cannibalism, you say? x) Why does it do it? Nutrition, of course. It enhances reproductive success. So it's only natural behavior, survival instincts. With the spider imagery comes the spiderweb metaphor, which is always efficient to express manipulation and hunt/prey relationship.
The later forces us to ask, what do you mean false? Dayflower is an actual flower, by the way, meaning reliability and trustworthiness. š Coincidence that Liu Xiao's flower basically implies that he isn't reliable and trustworthy? I don't think so š It also is a call back to the Devil tarot card meta I did last week saying he represents the antichrist, the one you choose to put your trust into for salvation but who's actually bringing you closer to your demise.
Apparently, in victorian floriography language, a man gifts spiderworts to another man to express esteem (X). Liu Xiao wants to make his feelings known, finally, and he's using flowers to do it. I feel like he has a very parasocial relationship with Lu Guang, though. He's pining hard, but Lu Guang never appears to be aware of him. Even in "The Eye", he's looking at the window while Liu Xiao is reading the same poem over and over again. This Shakespeare poem which, as mentioned in a previous meta, is about two lovers who must be separated for survival reasons. Waiting patiently for the end of the representation to make his presence/existence known hints on his penchant for theatrics as well.
All of this info is cool and all but what does it mean?
I truly believe that Liu Xiao is in awe of Lu Guang, might it be because of his abilities (and the creative way he might use them to save Cheng Xiaoshi), his achievements (that we barely know about) or his objective/motivation. Think of it like a scientist who bases his own research on his peer's work. Liu Xiao could very much be the mad scientist type, though lmao.
The fact Lu Guang's chess piece is a white Knight but Liu Xiao is kissing the black Knight in his PV? He's either delusional, thinking Lu Guang and he are the same, or he knows all of Lu Guang's dark secrets. As a stalker does, you know.
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SONIC RANT!1!1!1!
My review for Sonic 3 >>>
Okay, first of all, WHAT!? The story line and character designs are insane!! I love how they created Shadows character and how keanu reeves kept is voice slam or good for whatever reason because of how Shadowās character really is like.
Gotta add points to having Sonic, Tails, and Knuckles still as the greatest team the whole movie, even when Sonic left them out of his rage. I thought it was so sweet when they threw that little party for Sonic when he first got to earth, I just thought the little references with Tom and Sonic from the first movie was so nice to see and just overall a great start.
Tbh, I thought the part when Sonic and Robotnik were talking about family and how he didnāt have any was a great part on why he acted like a inspired child towards his grandfather when he showed up. I think it was weird but interesting on how they made robotniks grandfather, also Mariaās grandfatherā¦soooā¦does that make them siblings-? IDK JUST A THEORY- MATPAT CMERE
The greatest part of the movie to me was the end when both Sonic and Shadow used the emeralds to use their ability TOGETHER to save earth. The slow-mo scenes of them and just the duo coming into a movie was just so awesome for me to see.
MY LEAST FAVORITE PART IS WHEN SHADOW DIED WITH ROBOTNIK!! LIKE I GET ROBOTNIK BUT WHY SHADOW??? HES MY FAVORTIE WHYD YOU HAVE TO DO THATšš¤
But to be fair, shadow isnāt apart of Sonicās actual team. We can see that through old shows like Sonic boom and all them when we have his team full of knuckles, tail, any, rouge and all them, but shadow isnāt apart of it. If he is heās there as the idea of an episode, or just there in the background for a problem. So even though itās sad that he was killed, at least he did it to save the world.
CHARACTER RANT
Sonic>>
Of course, the blue-blur is at it again, never sad, and always has the biggest ego. LOLL-
Iām glad they kept his character the same, it definitely was a plus to keep the movie was flopping like most people thought- only because itās the third movie. I thought it was so sweet and emotional when Sonic near the end was in rage and trying everything to get revenge because shadow hurt Tom. Even though he knew it was wrong in the end, I still couldnāt help but feel that he did that more because he cared, then revenge, and that stood with me through that entire scene. So overall, Sonic in this movie, and just like all the others, didnāt disappoint
10/10
Tails>>
Gotta say, I have no complaints, over then he didnāt get enough screen time. Tails gadgets and positive attitude is cute and just fits him perfectly like it always has. Iām always impressed with the development and change in Tails mechanics because it definitely got better from the holograms to the gadgets stopping Robotnik. And the part when the little girl said he looked like detective pikachu was so cute and true I swearšš¤
10/10
Knuckles>>
Just like Sonic, his character didnāt let me down with him wanting to be on top, and be the smashy smashy guy and it was just funny to hear him again after 2 years. I donāt know if anyone notices but he does speak like everyone else, but he doesnāt speak fully itās like he takes away the words that arenāt neededā¦for example
Normal ppl - āSo this is loveā
Knuckles - āI feel the loveā
Sooā¦.yeah
10/10
Shadow>>
LEMME JUST SAY. KEENU REEVES DID NOT DISAPPOINT, and his character design and actions were just so cute to me and I love him so muchššā¦If Iām being honest I could probably do another rant but itās literally just about how much I love shadow. Form him on the motorcycle, to him with Maria, to the flashbacks and change in emotion, to when he was with the emeralds, to him just being him, I love it all. I thought his backstory with Maria really shot through with this movie and I really enjoyed it.
āThe world still shines when the star is goneā
-Maria & Shadow
100/10
The robotniks
Just..sigh,..no . Only good part of this movie was the dance when they were going through the lasers, nothing more.
Robotnik - 7/10
Grand papi - 2/10
And let me shut say that I feel bad for dr stone bro. He also most drowned, was rejected multiple times by Robotnik during this movie and then got replaced with robotniks terrible excuse for a family memberšš¤
Justice for stoneš
8/10
ENDING RANT
FIRST OFF. Weāre 3 movies in now, if you donāt sit in your chair and sit for after the credits to see the downfall of the next movie your an opp and not a real sonic fan ALR!? I said it.š¤ BUT ANYWAYS-
WE GOT THE ROBOT SONICS!? I CALLED IT-!
AND AMY?!?!?!??
yo I canāt wait 2 or more years for thisšš¤ā¦it was torture waiting for this movie to be finished. But I think itās gonna be funny and cute to see a bit of Sonic and any shipping and blushing and cute crushing stuff lol.
So overall, I loved this movie and we be watching it on repeat for forever til SONIC 4 BABY!!
#sonic the hedgehog#sonic fandom#sonic 3#shadow the hedgehog#tails the fox#knuckles the echidna#amy rose#metal sonic#sonic 4#ranting
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Witcher a/b/o ramblings~~~
Geralt keeping the secret that he is an omega and not knowing that Jaskier is an alpha. Even though Geralt is using suppressants, he can still feel something very lightly bubbling away like he's near his heat and it's making him a bit clumsy. This in turn is making Jaskier feel super protective and he's absolutely oblivious about it until Jaskier accidentally uses alpha voice when they are traveling one day, trying to save Geralt from tripping over a large rock š¤ Geralt's knees buckle and he maybe whines a little because sure why not, let the man whine, he's an angel hahah š and they both pretend they didn't just experience that together - but how long can they keep that up....
I like to think of Jaskier slowly peppering in little dominant alpha protective things for weeeeeekkkksssss testing the waters and Geralt nervously leaning into it, wanting to be looked after but terrified that he's not allowed to indulge because witchers shouldn't need looking after, they're meant to be the protectors ...
šš¤
Oh yessss pls!
alpha voice is such a good concept if you do it right and I can totally see the two of them slowly getting into it like-
Jaskier giving Geralt his half-eaten dinner because he's full and he knows witchers have such a high metabolism, Geralt wants to refuse because he doesn't need babying, he can make his own damn decisions and- "Eat." oh. oh okay, maybe just a bit? š if Jaskier thinks it's important enough to use his voice then maybe he should eat?
one day Geralt gets incredibly overwhelmed (sensory overload or maybe task overload) and Jaskier wants nothing more than to soothe his poor hurting omega but he's so stubborn! so after hours and hours of Geralt not getting better because he doesn't want to accept the fact that he's not doing great, Jaskier finally snaps "For fucks sake. Listen to me!" and Geralt's head snaps around and he's staring at Jaskier wide eyed and confused and he whines because he has no idea what to do and so Jaskier gentles him out of his panic with so many soft words
and maybe someone is talking shit about Jaskier and Geralt starts growling, ready to punch that damned motherfucker who dared to- "Geralt, stop." and he freezes, looks at Jaskier wide eyed because what does he mean? isn't he allowed to fend for his alpha's honor? doesn't Jaskier want Geralt to protect him anymore? š„ŗ
but it turns our that "No, sweet thing, I just don't want you to hurt yourself on my account. You're so precious to me."
and Jaskier tries to talk about it with Geralt but Geralt is absolutely not up for that! (feelings? no, never heard of them) until one day, he hisses at Jaskier, that he doesn't need to talk about this because he trusts Jaskier. trusts him to never use his voice against Geralt like others might and Jaskier has his oh. oh. moment.
and then one day, Jaskier asks Geralt to kneel. And oh he kneels so prettily. and it's like something between them just clicks into place
#also feel free to turn this into a fic and tag me#because šš#the witcher#artistsfuneral about the witcher#geraskier#a/b/o#ask answered#thank you hehe
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i can 100% see Nezha and mk's relationship (regardless if it's platonic or romantic) being equally beneficial and detrimental. like there so much they could help each other with but also subconsciously cause serious problematic habits/ thought processes/ coping mechanisums for each other and themselves the biggest thing my brain latched onto was how MK could become Nezha's first truly safe space.
Nezha going what i know and understand about his lore and what we can glean from the little we know in the show's canon, definitely has it rough in the celestial realm. he had a very troubled childhood and is clearly haunted by his past and is being defined by it despite his efforts to grow and prove that he's better now. he can command respect for his strength and power but people still question him as a person, always waiting for him to slip up. what relationships he does have he probably doesn't feel fully safe expressing his real self and thoughts because it poses potential risks. then mk comes into the picture. Nezha's given him a safe place to talk openly and he'd want to offer the same to the prince. even if he can't help directly he knows just having someone to vent to can help. its small stuff at first, little complaints here and there about work and the celestial realm, but slowly nezha starts to open up about more personal stuff. stuff with his family, with other celestials, and about his past. and to his amazement and relief is met with only empathy and understanding from mk, even after learning about the darker stuff MK never judges him. Nezha doesn't have to mask anything about himself around mk, infact he's being encouraged to relax and just be his natural self around him. he's truly safe when its just him and mk, that feeling has to be euphoric for the poor guy used to being on guard constantly even around the people he loves.
but of course, could easily lead to a mutually unhealthy co-dependency. nezha's already been isolated to some degree having never had much of a positive support structure, and mk's slowly isolating himself away from his established support structure. resulting in an echo chamber of two very well-meaning but very mentally ill people.
(i'm so sorry this turned into a short essay I've been waiting three hours to get of shift so i can spill my brains out about this. i have more but I'm going to end it here in fear that i'm being a bit much about these two)
Noo donāt worry about this being long, I absolutely love it!!
Youāre so right, Nezha and MK are at the same time a good counterbalance for each other while also being accidentally self-destructive. MK is a chaotic lil gremlin who follows his emotions and worries about consequences later and Nezha (in LMK at least) seems to be trying very hard to come at things logically and approach from a more grounded, duty-based perspective. They both could use a splash of the otherās energy in that manner, so in that way itās for sure a good thing that theyāre getting closer.
Problem is, like you said, these boys are sooooo mentally ill š The feeling that they need to constantly be proving themselves, giving a little more away every time, pushing their own boundaries and suffering in silence because itās what someone else needs- these are things they might accidentally end up encouraging in each otherā¦. Actually, probably not even accidentally. They see the other working crazy hard and being run ragged physically and probably emotionally too, and theyāre like āI am SO proud of you for sacrificing so much!ā ..and both of them have never felt so seen as when the other says that to them. Itās validating their worst impulses to just keep going and giving because their own feelings about it are less important than everyone elseās.
Also, the fact that they feel like they can expect to get that praise when they admit to being stressed might even make them be more open about it. Only with each other, thoughā¦ if they were to mention feeling overworked or burdened to their families, they know already that they would not get the response they were looking for.. but again, even if it means theyāre being more open, itās still not a super good thing that itās reinforcing destructive behavior. :U
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I can't wait to read all of the WIPs listed. All the dark/dark-ish Bucky ones already made me weak in the knees just by the hints. I especially want to know more about dark!bodyguard Bucky who's tasked to protect us but the true danger has been alongside us all this time š Protecting us by keeping all the other men away to save his future wife for himself. I'm just speculating sorry lol. I just love the idea that someone who's supposed to protect us has been the one most obsessed with us all along. That has no right to be sounding so hot š©ā¤ The other one I'm intrigued by is the feral Bucky just cause that's a rare AU for Bucky š A Tarzan-esque Bucky with all his innocence,wonders and curiosity,maybe not so innocent once attraction does its' work and primal needs take over (the smut part lol)? š I bet feral Bucky fucks feral too š„µšµ So feral Bucky is the one I voted for but I'm happy with the final results as well. Just wanted to tell you this is the hardest polls I've ever taken on Tumblr because every single WIPs listed sounds soooo good š©š« To the point that I had to think about it for more than an hour and a half and came back to it again and finally vote feral Bucky WIP ā¤š
I'm so sorry I didn't answer this right away, nonnie! I'm glad you're excited for more of my nonsense.
I just love the idea that someone who's supposed to protect us has been the one most obsessed with us all along.
Listen, I love our dark bodyguard. There are bad people out there and he'll keep you safe from them. He just won't keep you safe from himself.
the feral Bucky just cause that's a rare AU for Bucky
I hope you like my take on it! It'll be canon up to a certain point before things change (I can't say when or what'll happen since it'll spoil some of what I have planned), but he's going to be very happy to meet his mate you and some of those protective and primal urges will come forward. @onsunnyside has a Tarzan!Steve AU that's amazing and deserves all the love.
And the hardest poll?! I'm flattered that you thought so thoroughly and carefully about which one you wanted to vote for. You lovelies supporting my nonsense never ceases to amaze me and I appreciate every one of you. I hope you enjoy what's to come!
Love and thanks! ā¤ļø
#navybrat answers#love letter š#bucky barnes#bodyguard!bucky barnes#dark bodyguard!bucky barnes#feral!bucky barnes#future fics#tangled up in your trance#perfectly misaligned#sweet nonnie
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At long last: behind-the-scenes commentary for Lavenderās Blue Chapter 1.
Usual disclaimer that these thoughts arenāt necessarily canonical to the fic verse until/unless I write them into the actual story.
Lavender is a recursive fanfic for my own AU fanfic, so I truly, honestly didnāt think it would be as popular as it is. Two years ago, I wouldāve said that an Aemond fic (like Compromise) wouldāve been way more popular than any Aegon fic, but life is full of surprises. š¤·š»āāļø
Chapter titles are quotes from Westerosi wedding ceremonies performed under the Faith of the Seven (both book and show verse).
The fic was originally supposed to be a short threeshot. As you can see, itās a full-ass story at 8 chapters and 80k words. š¤” When I wrote the first chapter, I wasnāt planning on the moon tea scheme, Dorne arc, or prophecy-mad Vizzy T storyline. The fic was just supposed to be Jace and Aegon figuring out an arranged marriage when they donāt know each other. But then I started writing Chapter 2 and I decided I needed plot. š
We start the fic with Aegon in his pre-Jace state: a medieval frat bro who just wants to chug beer and sleep around. At first sight, he embodies the āuseless heir whoāll probably run his inheritance into the groundā trope. But I try to make it evident fairly quickly that Aegon has a profound depth of emotions, and he shouldnāt be written off just yet.
Back when the fic was supposed to be a threeshot all in Aegonās POV, Myranda had a different role. Aegon would be teased for falling in love with Jace, and he would try to prove them wrong by going back to Myranda at the brothel. But at the last minute he realizes he canāt go through with it, Myranda gets catty about Jace, he says something like āyeah youāre pretty but not as pretty as my wife,ā and Myranda throws him out. The final draft turned out very different, but this alternate story wouldāve been kinda funny.
When I imagine pregnant Rhaenyra and pregnant Alicent having a huge fight, I also imagine fetus!Jace and fetus!Aemond being very confused about all the clamor they can hear in the womb.
Aegon acts like he hates the idea of the betrothal, but he definitely keeps that portrait of Jace in his room and looks at it every so often. Now Iām thinking of another AU where Aegon goes to Driftmark to see if Jace is as pretty as everyone says, and maximum chaos ensues because he decides marriage isnāt so bad actually, so they should just marry ASAP.
The Velargirls get the title āprincessā solely because Viserys is desperately trying to win back Rhaenyraās favor. (It doesnāt work, of course.)
Alicent is projecting a lot onto Jace, which is one of the reasons she tries so hard to be nice to Jace. Young Alicent in S1 felt very isolated in her early days as queen, so now she frets that Jace will feel the same. This universeās Alicent never had her green dress moment, and she doesnāt defy Viserys like she does in S1E6. Here, she tries to exert her influence over Aegon to ensure that at least one other girl (Jace) might be spared some kindness from her husband. This conversation, plus Aegonās core memory of the aftermath of Alicentās marital rape, have a big impact on the way he treats Jace.
Otto is keenly aware of the Velaryonsā many dragons, ships, and wealth. In this universe, he prioritizes making the Velaryons happy, because he really doesnāt want the dragons on Driftmark turning against the Crown.
If Jace werenāt betrothed to Aegon from the moment she was born, she wouldāve been raised as the heir to Driftmark rather than as a future queen. She canāt be both because, like I mentioned in Compromise, Corlys wants the ruler of Driftmark to always make their seat a priority. Yet another interesting AU idea: Jace is raised as heir to Driftmark, but she canāt keep her status as heir if she marries Aegon. š¤
In F&B, Viserys is the one who betroths Aegon and Helaena so they canāt marry other houses and gather support against Rhaenyra. Viserys almost does that in this AU before Otto talks him out of it.
Helaenaās quip about Aegon smiling is because she knows heās about to smile so hard that his face hurts. āļø
The Green kids get a more functional relationship with their mother in this universe. Alicent isnāt worried about securing Aegon as heir or protecting them from Rhaenyra/Daemon. As a result, sheās much more present in her kidsā lives.
Baela and Rhaena have been absorbed into the Velaryon clan because Daemon ditched them. š He originally planned to take them back to Penrose (like he mentions in S1E7), but he saw how much they were thriving with their extended family. So he allowed the twins to stay on Driftmarkābut he left because he didnāt see a place for himself in the Seven Kingdoms anymore. š
There is NO WAY Jace is making her debut at court in riding leathers, with messy hair and the stench of dragon. Just picture her and the other girls in the wheelhouse on the way to the Red Keep, frantically changing clothes and brushing hair and spraying perfume. š
Aegon: āeveryone lies at court.ā Aegon 5 seconds later: ānice to see you again, Rhaenyra!ā
It would be fun to see 12yo Aemondās adventure sneaking out of the castle, hitchhiking to Crackclaw Point, and claiming Vhagar. Damn, I need to stop giving myself ideas.
Aegon and Daemon have similar reactions to Joffās name. Truly, they would get along so well in another life.
Aemond fell into horny at first sight. š Also I love his and Aegonās brotherly telepathy.
Jace isnāt a military person, but she knows how to go on a strategic offensive. Her goal is to make Aegon like her, so she starts off on the right foot by dressing in Sunfyreās colors.
Aegon was told to stop doing frivolous things, like draw and play the lute, because those arenāt useful talents for a king. š
āI donāt believe youāve met.ā Viserys actually cannot remember if Aegon has met Jace. š
Jace is honestly happy to meet Aegon. Alicent made sure he cleaned up well, so heās looking very dapper.
Jace did her homework for the tourney. She memorized sigils, names, and family trees so she could make a good first impression on all the lords and ladies. Aegon could never. (Good thing heās marrying her.)
Because Jace has heard rumors about Aegonās profligacy, she tries to prevent him from drinking too much and potentially causing a scene. The questions she distracts him with are carefully chosen to a) be questions he can answer intelligently and b) help her get to know her husband a bit. She can multitask! And in the end, Aegon is so intrigued by his wife-to-be that he loses interest in drinking. Wins all around.
Aegon notices that he can never catch Jace alone. We learn from her POV this is intentional because sheās worried he might try to seduce her before the wedding ceremony.
Aegon and Aemond have sexual experience, but not romantic experience, so women are a mystery to them. š Daeron, meanwhile, is like āwhy donāt you just treat girls like people, theyāre not a different species.ā
Velargirls are sneakily interrogating Helaena for info about the Targbros. Helaena knows it, and she lets them do it. Her brothers will thank her for it one day.
Ottoās daily cup of prune juice is one of my favorite running jokes in this series.
The bit about Aegonās āaccessoriesā lying around his bed is a reference to the infamous screenshot in S1E8 of Aegonās medieval sex toy collection. š³
The handkerchief that Aegon notices in Jaceās room is the handkerchief she gives him later. Itās also the same handkerchief he waves as a white flag to Laenor and Rhaenys in Chapter 6. Luce knitted the shawl for Jace, of course.
Septa Lucinda is another of my favorite running jokes. Modern!Jace definitely secretly reads smutty romance novels.
Rhaenyraās diagrams about sex were also mentioned in The Golds. š¤
Jace wakes up early enough before Aegon that she has time to primp and dress herself to her usual level of being presentable. But she already feels comfortable enough around Aegon to leave off some of her public-facing layers. She even switches to her usual robe, the kind she wears for lounging alone in her room, rather than the skimpy one thatās designed to make Aegon like her.
Viserys intentionally sent the messenger late enough that Aegon would be late to the meeting. š Luckily for Aegon, his wife is an expert at making people look presentable in very little time.
Even though Larys isnāt able to worm his way into Alicentās confidence in this AU, he still offs his father and brother. Larys has ambition, and he has better odds of sneakily climbing up the ladder if heās the lord of Harrenhal rather than a spare.
Aegon is very ADHD-coded in this verse. He also just isnāt meant for administrative work.
Toward the end of this chapter, Aegon has the realization that heās been using sex as a band-aid. He wants to feel accepted and wanted for himself. As Helaena says later, he wants to be seen. And he already feels like Jace can give him that. Them giving each other permission to call each other by their first name is another milestone in both of them shedding their masks.
Jaceās job in this universe is being Aegonās wife (at first), and she performs her job like her life depends on it (which it kinda doesā¦?). She already figured out that Aegon gets hangry. Or maybe hupset would be more accurate.
All the urban planning and governance topics that Jace studies isnāt part of a typical ladyās education. But she grew up super close to Rhaenys, who was given an heirās education. And Corlys and Laenor definitely indulge the Velargirls in their interests.
Aegon does indeed fulfill his promise to build a more beautiful and comfortable throne for Jace next to his. š„°
See Chapter 2 commentary here.
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@mischievouslittlecreature Lizzie, please stop š©...
Another chapter that has me raging internally at Lizzie's misplaced superiority in Tommy's life and Arrow House š¤. She's never gonna give it a rest, is she?
My heart broke for Lucy when she was watching them during their boardgame. I hate how she misinterprets those moments she sees between them for a happy family š.
As Lucy watched, Lizzieās hand came to rest on Tommyās thigh, her long, pale fingers inching towards brushing against his. Arghhh, Tommy! Why didn't he swat her hand away š¤¦š¼āāļø?? This was such a crushing scene for her to have to witness. No fucking wonder she feels the way she does all the time!
His eyes widened, and she heard him call her name softly but she pretended not to hear, walking briskly towards the stairs. Immediately she felt bad. It was not her intention to make him feel guilty for prioritizing his family over her. Am I cruel? I feel like I'm cruel, but I want him to feel guilty for this. Lucy has drawn the short straw ever since his major fuck up. And Lucy is his family too š!
The next part with Lizzie, enraged me! I can't believe she "changed her mind" which I believe wasn't her having a change of heart but her playing her next move in her endeavour to have Tommy all to herself. I'm genuinely starting to think that that was her plan all along, because she agreed to this arrangement far to quickly for someone that has shown so much hate towards everything.
Yeah, well, she would never pull this kind of shit on me in the first place. She bends over backwards to make you happy and comfortable and all you do is treat her like garbage.ā - Tommy rounded on her. āStop making it out to be more than it was! We fucked in a dark dirty canal while I was thinking of someone else. Thatās all.ā FINALLY! He's telling her how it is! I know this was a pretty hurtful and a harsh thing for him to say, but I feel like she needed to hear it. She's deluded herself into believing that that quick shag was more than what it was, and that's exactly where she went wrong with it all.
Arghh šš¼š!! Their reunion sex was so hot! You had me at this line š„“... He froze, slowly lifting his face to look at her. āFeel,ā he took her hand, sliding it down to cup his crotch, where his cock was already bulging in his slacks. His fingers flexed around hers, encouraging her to squeeze slightly around him. āFeel how much I still want you, Lucy.ā I'm weak š©! I can't explain to you how sultry how steamy this was. I live for these moves he makes. It exudes that confident, passionate side to him I love to see between him and Lucy.
Donāt stop,ā he half begged once they separated for air. His mouth dropped open, breathing heavily and letting her hear him as he drew closer to his climax. Another hot line! Them kissing is enough to have them both falling over the edge...I love it š„“!
It's honestly a relief to see Lucy just relax for once š. He's the one that stops that constant nagging of thoughts in her head, and he's the only one that can reassure her enough for her to understand that she will always be his only girl! I just wish Lizzie would get the memo. Hopefully she did after hearing some hard truths from Tommy!
I'm on edge as much as Lucy with Lizzie's yo-yo cattiness š. It's so hard to see her step around her bratty behaviour like she's a guest in Lizzie and Tommy's house. And as much as they were able to open up and clear the air in this scene, Lizzie still opened with this line...āAnd yet youāre not going to stop doing it.ā she agreed to this arrangement !! I swear I'm gonna be pulling my hair out by the time this season ends š¬! Imagine if Lucy turned around and said "Well, you spoiled mine and Tommy's fun when you got knocked up"?? Tommy was never hers to begin with, and it's like she's playing the betrayer wife or something. It's so hard to understand the way her brain works š¤¦š¼āāļø!
Ok so we left on a better note with Lizzie, for now š¬. But it never lasts long. Can we have Dian make an entrance so Lizzie can turn her vengeance to her and give Lucy a break š? Maybe having a common enemy will do the trick š¤?
Amazing as always hun! Excited to read more š.
Part 22: This Misery We've Made
Summary: Tommy has to make a choice of which woman he will pledge himself to.
Word Count: 7,520
Warnings: Jealousy, depression, smut, and infidelity (sort of).
Notes:Ā I am so sorry for the high word count of this chapter. I just couldn't find a good place to break it in two. Tommy's a bit of an idiot here, but he is trying.
Thank you to everyone who has read this fic! I have been absolutely blown away by the reception it has gotten. If you enjoyed this and are looking for more like it, I am planning to post another fic set in this same timeline that takes place during season 5, and manages to be somehow even more angsty than this one. So keep your eyes open for that if you're interested!
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Chapter 5: Promises
āMiss. Winters.ā
Lucy looked up, startled out of the sharp focus sheād been concentrating onto the papers in front of her. Frances was standing there near her desk, peering at her from over the tray of steaming food clutched in her hands.Ā
āMr. Shelby wanted me to bring this for you. He didnāt want you to go hungry.ā
Lucy frowned, capping her pen and setting it aside. Grabbing a stack of papers, she moved them out of the way to make room on her desk for the tray. āTheyāre having dinner?ā
āYes, Miss. They were just finishing, I think.ā
āOh. I didnāt know.ā
Frances frowned. āMrs. Shelby told me that you were working and wouldnāt be able to eat with them this evening.ā
āAh.ā That made sense, then. Frances stuttered.Ā
āIām sorry if thereās been a miscommunicationā¦ā
āItās alright. Donāt worry about it,ā Lucy waved away her apologies. āThank you for bringing the tray.ā
Frances nodded, and departed from the room. Fingertips rubbing together, Lucy glanced over at the plate on her desk. Piled upon it was a filet of salmon, some potatoes, and steamed vegetables. Picking up the fork, she picked idly at the fish, flaking it but bringing only a few mouthfuls to her lips. Her appetite was nonexistent.
Something in Lizzie had changed. That much was clear. Whatever warmth or amiable attitude towards her and the arrangement theyād agreed upon prior to the wedding had evaporated. She must have changed her mind about being okay with Tommy remaining involved with her. Or maybe this was her plan all along; to get Tommy legally bound to her and then push Lucy out.Ā
She could not say for how long she sat there, staring into space and picking at her food. When she looked up at the clock, it was to find that it was a lot later than sheād expected. Fucking hell, had it really been that long since sheād watched Tommy and Lizzie depart with the children for their picnic?Ā
Pushing away from her desk, she made her way out of her office with mechanical movements. In her mind, she debated whether or not she should even try to seek out Tommy wherever he was in the massive house. Probably with his wife. Enjoying their time together.Ā
Sheād just leave them be, she decided, taking the route towards the stairs to head to bed. He clearly didnāt want to see her, considering it had been hours and he hadnāt even stopped by her office after they got back from their outing. Sheād hate to pop their happy little bubble more than she already had.Ā Ā
On her way to the staircase she passed by the library. The door leading inside was slightly cracked open, revealing a sliver of golden light. From within, she caught snippets of chatter and laughter. Footsteps coming to a stop, she stared at the wooden door, the feeling of being left out sitting like a rock inside her chest.Ā
Unable to stop herself, despite knowing it would only cause her pain, she shuffled forward to peek through the small crack between the doors.
Tommy, Lizzie, and Charlie were all crowded around a table, playing a board game together. Tommy and Lizzie were seated next to each other on a couch, both laughing at something Charlie must have done during his turn. As Lucy watched, Lizzieās hand came to rest on Tommyās thigh, her long, pale fingers inching towards brushing against his.Ā
Ā A crushing sensation squeezed harshly at Lucyās heart. She took a staggering step back, hoping to escape before any of them spotted her, but Tommyās eyes lifted before she could fully dart out of view from the doorway. Maybe he had sensed her there. Or maybe it was just her movement in the corner of his eye that caught his attention.Ā
āLucy?ā he straightened, and the way that the small smile that had been playing on his lips as he watched his wife and child fell just about killed her. It felt like sheād burst in on a private moment that she had no business being a part of. As if with just her presence alone she had ruined all the fun and joy he was experiencing.Ā
āI was just going to bed,ā she said, so that they knew that she had no intention of intruding further. āSo, ermā¦goodnight.āĀ
āGoodnight, Lucy,ā Charlie said, despite most of his concentration being focused on moving his piece across the board. Lizzie said nothing, but Tommy scrambled to his feet, crossing the room to her before she could back away.Ā
āHey,ā he spoke gently, taking her gently by the arm. āIām sorry. Frances said you were busy, and Charlie wanted to playāā
āItās fine.ā
He blinked, concern filling his eyes. āLoveāā
āItās late,ā she shrugged him off. āIām going to bed.ā
āDad, itās your turn!ā Charlie called. Lucy started to retreat away. So that he could return to his family.Ā Ā
Tommy tried to reach out for her again. āIāll be there in just a minute.ā
Pausing, she looked back at him. āItās fine if you donāt.ā
His eyes widened, and she heard him call her name softly but she pretended not to hear, walking briskly towards the stairs. Immediately she felt bad. It was not her intention to make him feel guilty for prioritizing his family over her. The breaths leaving her lips turned shaky. Hands stuffing into her pockets, her head bowed, she began the walk through the winding halls to her room. Tucked far in the back of the house, away from the main apartments, where hardly anyone ever wandered.Ā
Hidden out of sight, out of mind. She wondered if he knew she had moved rooms. And if he did, if he knew where she was.Ā
If he would even try to come looking for her.Ā Ā Ā
ā ā ā
āAlright, Charlie, mate, it is well past your bedtime,ā Tommy said, gesturing to Frances who was hovering by the door, ready to take him up to his room.
āAw, cāmon, just one more round!ā Charlie whined.Ā
āYes, Tommy, just one more,ā Lizzie agreed, smiling around her cigarette. Tommy narrowed his eyes at them.Ā
āI donāt know if I like this with you two ganging up on me.ā
They both smiled innocently.Ā
āPleaseeeeeeeeeeee,ā Charlie begged. Tommy chuckled, ruffling his hair fondly.Ā
āIāve had a long day, son. Iām tired. Maybe tomorrow, eh?ā
Charlie pouted a little, but relented, saying goodnight to both him and Lizzie before taking Francesās outstretched hand and letting her lead him away.
āRight,ā wedging his cigarette between his lips, Tommy eyed the door that led out to the main staircase eagerly. Anxiety constricted within his chest.Ā Ā
Itās fine if you donāt.
God, he was such a fucking shit. He should have gone after her immediately, or at the very least invited her to join them. But she had practically run away from him before he could get the chance.Ā
The day was almost over, and he had barely gotten to spend any time with her.Ā
āIām going to bed. If you need anything, just pull the cord in your room and a maid will come around.ā
āTommy, wait!ā Lizzieās voice was strained with agitation, her eyes suddenly frantic. āWhy donātā¦why donāt we go for a walk on the grounds?ā
Tommy took a long drag from his cigarette, eyes narrowing. āLizzie, itās dark out.ā
āB-but we couldāā
āLizzie,ā he wasnāt shouting, but his voice was firm, stopping her in her tracks before she could say any more. āEnough. I know what youāre trying to do. And you need to stop.ā
Her jaw clenched, and while anger entered her face, the desperation in her eyes did not cease. āI justā¦I thoughtā¦ā
He sighed, turning to face her fully. āYou knew what this arrangement was going to look like,ā he was mindful to keep his voice calm, not wanting to be unkind. It was understandable that she might struggle with it all at first. But that didnāt mean that he was going to suddenly go back on all the promises heād made to Lucy. āI gave you a whole week in Paris. I need to go back to her now.ā
āNo, you donāt.ā She rose to her feet, going to him and resting her hands on his arm.Ā
āLizzie, this is what you agreed toāā
āI changed my mind,ā she blurted out. Tommy stared at her, lips half parted, eyes wide. Horror twisted deeply in his chest. No. Oh, God, no, Lizzie, for fuckās sakeā¦
Of course he had known that this was a possibility, but after he and Lucy worked so hard to double and triple check that Lizzie was alright with their arrangement, and to impress upon her how things were going to be, he had hoped she would have known better than to hope for more than what he was explicitly offering her.Ā
He felt his features harden. āWell, I havenāt.ā
Lizzieās features twitched. He could see her trying to keep her vulnerability hidden behind a facade of sternness, but there were cracks forming in the mask. Especially in her eyes.
āWe agreed to a very specific type of marriage, Lizzie. Just because youāve decided to go back on that, doesnāt mean that I have any obligation towards you.ā
Her eyes narrowed. āThe rings on our fingers and our marriage license say otherwise.ā
āFor fuckās sake,ā he rubbed a hand across his eyes. āHow many times did we ask if you were alright with the deal we were presenting you with, huh? Are you fucking kidding me, Lizzie!?ā He pulled back, shaking her hands off of him and half turning away from her. A headache was starting to build behind his eyes. When he looked back at her it was to find Lizzie watching him, hands playing with the buttons on the front of her dress. There was still a tendril of hope in her eyes.Ā
āWhat do you want from me?ā he asked defeatedly. Lizzie swallowed, lifting her chin and squaring her shoulders.
āI donāt want you to see her ever again.ā
He shook his head. āThatās never going to happen. Iām not leaving her, Lizzie. Not ever. I donāt know how many more times I have to tell you that before you understandāā
āYou would never treat her like this!ā Lizzie exploded, the mask sheād been trying to keep carefully in place over her features shattering. Bitterness laced her voice as she spat the words out. āIf it was the other way around, you would do what she asked of you in a heartbeat!ā
He winced at the truth in her words. She was right. He would always prioritize Lucyās desires. It wasnāt fair to Lizzie. She deserved better. But for fuckās sake, she knew all of this going into things. It wasnāt like theyād pulled a blindfold over her eyes and tricked her into marrying him with promises of more than what he could offer. He had been as upfront as he knew how on what a marriage to him would be like for her.Ā
She said she was okay with it. Had she been lying? Had she intended to trap him all along? Or did she think she could handle things only to realize that she was in over her head after the fact? Or was she still that delusional to believe that he would somehow have a change of heart once the rings went on and the honeymoon was finished?
āYeah, well, she would never pull this kind of shit on me in the first place. She bends over backwards to make you happy and comfortable and all you do is treat her like garbage.ā
Shame entered Lizzieās face, head dipping to stare down at the floor while her arms wrapped around herself.Ā
āItās not personal.ā
āYou hate her.ā He accused, feeling his own resentment and bitterness begin to burn in his eyes.Ā
āNo, I donāt! But she has you and itās not fair! Iāve been in your life longer. We created a child togetherāā
Tommy rounded on her. āStop making it out to be more than it was! We fucked in a dark dirty canal while I was thinking of someone else. Thatās all.ā
Lizzieās eyes widened and grew glassy with tears, and he immediately felt bad. But God, he didnāt know how else to make her understandā¦
Silence hung heavily between the two of them
āTommy, I love you,ā Lizzie said in a quiet voice. He could hear the hope in it still. For fuckās sake, woman, he thought, closing his eyes. In his head, he debated whether or not to tell her that she didnāt. That you couldnāt love someone who you didnāt really know. Who you didnāt understand.
He opened his eyes, and forced himself to meet her hopeful gaze. āIām sorry.ā He saw something in Lizzie crack at the words, but forced himself to go on, despite the self loathing he felt for hurting her. āI love Lucy. If youāre forcing me to choose between you two, itās going to her, Lizzie. It always will be. That does not mean you arenāt important, or unwelcome here. We want you and the kids here with us. We already have an arrangement sorted out. One you agreed to, remember? And weāre willing to make adjustments and compromises here and there, within reason. But I love her and that isnāt going to change. Itās up to you if you can make peace with that or not.ā
āAnd if I canāt?ā
āThen we need to talk about other options.ā
She looked at him as if heād just hit her.Ā
Swiping a hand across his brow, brushing his fringe to the side, he shifted from foot to foot, suddenly feeling the need to try to somewhat soften the blow. āLook, give it some time before you make a decision. Let yourself get adjusted. It might not be as bad as you think.ā
The clock on the mantle chimed. Lizzie was still hugging herself, looking seconds away from tears.Ā Ā Ā Ā
āI have to go,ā Tommy said. āI promised her.ā He looked deep into Lizzieās eyes, begging her to understand. But she said nothing, just staring at him with wounded, hate-filled eyes. He sighed. There was nothing really left to be said. As he walked past her to get to the door, he reached out to touch her arm. āIām sorry.ā
She winced away from his touch, turning her back to him. Tommy felt his heart sink at her pain but kept on moving, figuring that it might be better to leave her alone.Ā
He went to the library door, opening and stepping through it. Right before he closed it behind him, he heard the sounds of Lizzie starting to cry.
His hand hovered over the doorknob, considering, and then retracted, slipping back into his pocket. With hasty footsteps he retreated away from the library, heading towards Lucy. And away from the sounds of Lizzieās heartbreak.
ā ā ā
Lucy stared at herself miserably in the mirror. Hands flexing into fists against the tabletop of the vanity, she was half tempted to smash the reflection of the pathetic, pale, ugly girl staring back at her. She had finished wiping off her makeup, scrubbing perhaps a tad too aggressively at the sensitive skin of her face. And then sheād caught herself fluffing at her hair and adjusting the lay of her lacy red nightgown, and felt so damn stupid. What was the point? He wasnāt coming.
Lizzie had obviously changed her mind about being alright with everything. And maybe Tommy had too. It was over.Ā
Her eyes squeezed shut painfully at the thought, hands bracing on the edges of the basin in front of her until her knuckles turned white. How ridiculous she felt, to have ever thought that the arrangement theyād made with Lizzie would work.Ā
Should she start packing her things now, or wait until he gave her the official order to get out of his house?
She opened her eyes, wiping at her nose with the back of her hand and sniffling, swallowing down tears. It was amazing just how quickly everything had fallen apart.
Unable to stand looking at herself any longer, she abandoned the sink to shuffle her way into the bedroom.Ā
Golden light from the lamps set on the two nightstands on either side of the bed illuminated the room. Shivers wracked down Lucyās spine from a chill that she was pretty sure was the result of a draft somewhere by the window. The staff had tried to keep the layout of the room the same as it had been in her previous quarters, but everything was just more cramped in the smaller space. Lucy was suddenly struck with a stab of claustrophobia; the feeling settling nauseatingly alongside the tightness of unshed tears already in her throat.Ā
Rubbing at her forehead, she took a step towards the bed, just reaching for the sash on her dressing gown to remove it when the door opened.Ā
Tommyās expression was tightened with stress and exhaustion when he first stepped into the room, but it softened when his eyes landed on her. Features relaxing, a small smile found its way onto his face while he closed the door behind him with a soft click.
āTook me a while to find you. I had to ask Frances what room you were in.ā He took a step forward, head cocking. āWhat are you doing all the way out here in this part of the house? No one comes to this wing much except for the maids.ā
āLizzie moved me here. She had the servants switch around my things during the wedding and reception.ā
He frowned, inching even closer to her, eyes taking in the dimly lit bedroom. āYou donāt have to stay in this room just because she says so.ā
āItās fine. It might be for the best that she and I arenāt that close to each other anyway.ā
He reached out and touched her face, angling her head up so she was looking at him rather than the floor. His thumb traced the shape of her lips, eyebrow quirking slightly. āYou didnāt think that I would come.ā It wasnāt an accusation or a question, just a simple statement. Lucy shrugged.
āShe seemed very intent on keeping you with her.ā
āI made you a promise.ā
āYouāve made promises to her too.ā
His head tilted. āIād rather keep the ones Iāve made to you.āĀ
He made a move to kiss her, palms coming to rest on her hips, but she stopped him with a hand on his chest. Her eyes searched his face, not even entirely sure what she was looking for.Ā
āAre you sure you want to do this?ā she asked, voice suddenly very hoarse.Ā
āDo what?ā
She looked at him sadly. āCheat on your wife.ā
He frowned. āIām not sure if what weāre doing really counts as cheatingā¦ā
āI doubt Lizzie sees it that way.ā
His gaze lowered, thumbs beginning to rub circles into her waist. āShe just needs time to adjust.ā
āTommy, sheās changed her mind. Itās obvious. She wants a real marriage with you.ā
āThatās her problem. We both did our part to make sure that she knew what she was signing up for. She really has no leg to stand on if sheās shocked about it now.ā
āWas she upset when you left to come see me?ā
He didnāt answer, gaze darting away again.
āShe was, wasnāt she?ā
āThatās not your responsibility.ā
āMy presence is the reason sheās getting her heart brokenāā
āNo.ā Something sharpened stubbornly in his eyes, his grip tightening on her. āDonāt you dare try to put responsibility for Lizzieās bad decision making onto yourself. She knew I wasnāt going to stop being with you. And she agreed to marry me anyway. That was her choice. We didnāt force her into it.ā He cupped her face urgently. āIt isnāt your fault if sheās miserable.ā
āItās hard not to feel like it isnātā¦āĀ
āI know. I know. But loveā¦even if you werenāt a factor at all, I doubt that I would be faithful to Lizzie.ā He shot her a sheepish look. āI donāt love her. At least not the way that she wants me to. If anyoneās to blame for her unhappiness, itās me. Not you.ā
She smoothed her hands along his chest, leaning forward until her forehead rested between his pecs. Tommy embraced her tightly, rubbing her back.
āI thought you mightāve changed your mind too,ā she mumbled. He drew back only far enough to look into her eyes. That stubbornness that sheād grown so fond of, despite how exasperating it sometimes was, had taken root in his blue irises.Ā
āIām not going to change my mind. Iām not going to leave you or stop loving you.ā Up and down, his thumb stroked across her cheek while his palm cradled it. His face was so close that she could feel the warmth of his breaths on her skin. The stubbornness in his eyes had transformed into earnestness. āI want to spend the rest of my life with you.ā
Her bottom lip started to tremble, and her voice broke on her next words. āBut maybe thereās no room for meā¦ā
āOf course there is. Of course there is; there will always be room for you in my life.ā
āTommy,ā she sighed, feeling as though the weight of the world was resting upon her. The guilt so encompassing she felt that it might swallow her whole. āYou have other priorities now. You have a wife and children. I canātā¦ā
His brows furrowed, eyes turning stern. āIf youāre asking me to not make you a priority, that isnāt something that I can do,ā he shifted closer, wiping a stray tear she hadnāt even realized had rolled down her cheek. āYouāll always be a priority to me.ā
āI canāt ask that of you.ā
āYou donāt have to ask. Iām giving it to you anyway.ā
She lifted both hands to rest on his face, throat constricting hard with emotion at his words. One of Tommyās large palms landed on top of hers, squeezing her hand. Face turning, he pressed a kiss to the center of her palm. Then he tipped his head down, so their foreheads could touch. A few more tears leaked from her eyes.
āThis has been harder than I thought it would be.ā
His strong hands pressed into the middle of her back, encouraging her to press herself closer to him. āYeah,ā he agreed, then looked away, clearing his throat. Lucy frowned at the change of expression in his eyes, something ashamed and deeply guilty entering them.Ā
āTommy?ā
āI feel like Iāve been unfaithful to you.āĀ
āWhat? Love, noā¦I said it was okay.ā
He breathed in deeply. āStill. It was awful without you being there.ā
Her thumb stroked the length of his cheek, raising up on her toes to get closer to him. āYou didnāt betray me,ā she said, lips almost ghosting over his. Tommy pressed himself even more firmly against her, leaning forwards and kissing the tears that still lingered on her cheeks. He raised his face enough to brush his nose with hers.Ā
āYouāre not upset with me?ā
āNo, of course not. I was just scared you might change your mind about us, thatās all.ā
His eyes softened, hands caressing her. āI would never. I love you.ā
She drew in a shaky breath. āI love you too.ā
He kissed her tenderly, lips at first only brushing over hers before pressing more firmly, hands gripping her tighter. She sighed into his mouth, lips parting to him, arms coiling around his neck. When his kisses migrated from her lips to her neck, and his hands started to palm at her needily, she let out a small, desperate sound, latching onto his shoulders while he started to fumble with the strings at the back of her nightgown.Ā
āOh, I missed you,ā he whispered, kisses growing more urgent against her skin. āLet me show you how much I missed you.ā
She could only moan softly and tilt her head back as he pressed his lips to her chest, right under her clavicle. Fingers fumbling with the buttons holding his waistcoat closed, all the while she let him pull her nightgown from her body. His hands moved to help her in undressing him, shedding all his upper layers and drawing her back into the circle of his arms.Ā Ā
He purred when his hand slipped up from her waist to cup one of her bare breasts, her breath hitching at his thumb running across her nipple.Ā
āMy beautiful girl,ā he tucked his face into her neck, kissing from behind her ear all the way down the column of her throat. āCome here,ā he murmured, as if she were not already pressed flush against him. But his hands still tried to draw her in even closer.
Her chest tightened, fingers stroking along the back of his head. āYou know, I was worried for a while that you didnāt want me anymore.ā
He froze, slowly lifting his face to look at her. āFeel,ā he took her hand, sliding it down to cup his crotch, where his cock was already bulging in his slacks. His fingers flexed around hers, encouraging her to squeeze slightly around him. āFeel how much I still want you, Lucy.ā
A moan shivered from her lungs, lips parting so that when his mouth descended on hers, his tongue entered her mouth with ease. He kissed her harder, a hand on the back of her neck while the other curled over her hip, beginning to walk her backwards towards the bed. He moaned deeply while she palmed him through his trousers, hips twitching.
She let him press her back onto the bed, him taking but a moment to unfasten his trousers and slip them and his underwear off before joining her. He crawled on top of her, slotting himself between her legs and kissing her hungrily. Lucy cradled his jaw in her hand, nuzzling at him while he explored her mouth before beginning to move down her body, spending time palming and sucking on her breasts, tracing the scars that marked her body with his lips, and then seeking out her cunt with his mouth and thick fingers. With clever, practiced movements he coaxed her into arching her back and gripping his hair, thighs twitching in response to his movements.
Maybe it was selfish, or signified something else wrong with her, but any and all guiltāor thought at all, for that matter--regarding Lizzie vanished the second that he kissed her. It was wondrous, really, how she could feel so inconsequential and insecure one moment, only for those feelings to almost entirely evaporate when he touched her.Ā
Terrible as it may have been, her guilt for what she was doing to Lizzie did not outweigh the desire, love, and loyalty she held for him.
She cried out when he added a second finger inside of her, crooking it and pumping rhythmically while his tongue toyed with her clit. Her nails scraped against his scalp while her head fell back against the pillows, thighs twitching. All it took was a strategic curling of his fingers inside her, and she came with a hoarse cry.Ā
Perhaps it was good that they were tucked away in such a far corner of the house. At least they didnāt need to worry about being quiet.Ā
Tommy brought her down from her high gingerly, withdrawing his fingers and pecking her inner thighs before rising up onto his arms, hovering over her. He wetted his lips, dark tendrils of hair falling across his forehead, pretty blue eyes wide and gazing down at her softly. He was so beautiful it nearly made her want to weep, stunned that someone so gorgeous would ever even consider wasting their time on her.Ā Ā Ā
As if reading her mind, he smoothed a hand over her hair, cupping the side of her face and drawing their foreheads together. āYouāre perfect,ā he said, eyes roving over her, dropping his weight onto her. Not enough to crush her beneath him, but enough so that she could feel every inch of his torso pressing into her. āI donāt deserve you.ā
Her brows drew in on each other. āYes, you do.ā
The look he gave he was affectionate yet somber. She stretched her head up to kiss him.Ā
āYou do,ā she insisted. āI love you. I donāt want anyone else but you.ā
āI love you too,ā he said hoarsely, burying his face in her shoulder, hissing as he reached down to guide his cock to her entrance. āIāll always love you.ā
She drew in a harsh breath as he sank into her, filling her completely with a singular deep thrust. Tommy made a sound of intense relief, face nuzzling deeper into the crook of her neck. Lucy latched onto him tightly, a sharp mewl leaving her lips, solace washing over her potently once they were fully joined. Hand seeking out hers, he entwined their fingers together as he started to move.
The thrusts he gave her were slow and deep, grunts and praises passing his lips against the shell of her ear. Lucy clung to his back, legs wrapping around him. Her head was, finally, blissfully empty of any and all thoughts save for the pleasure he was giving her. All she knew was the heavy comfort of him on top of her, and the stretch of his large cock fitting snugly inside her.Ā
āTommyā¦ā she spoke without really being aware that her lips were moving. āMy Tommyā¦ā
āYours, all yoursā¦ā he agreed, still moving. Her eyes rolled in her head at a particularly deep thrust, trying to comprehend how in the hell she had managed to survive a whole week with him. Without this.
They belonged together; and their bodies knew it. Their coupling was as natural as breathing. His pelvis ground into her clit, making her see stars, and when she pulled his hair to lift his face from where he was sucking marks into her neck, he growled. Instantly, he knew what she wanted, kissing her open mouthed and desperate.
āDonāt stop,ā he half begged once they separated for air. His mouth dropped open, breathing heavily and letting her hear him as he drew closer to his climax. Hips moving half frantically to meet each of his thrusts, Lucy scratched her nails down his shoulders, legs tightening around his waist.Ā
She teetered on the edge, wobbling like a trinket about to fall off the edge of a desk. Her walls squeezed and fluttered around him in warning, and when he reached between them to brush his thumb across her clit, she howled and clung to him for dear life. The barely-there touch was enough to send her careening off over the edge completely. Eyes rolling in her head, back arching, ankles pressing down harder into the small of his back, she came violently.Ā Ā Ā
Tommy shouted, grabbing onto her hard enough to bruise, but that was okay. She was holding onto him just as tightly. His cock twitched, then throbbed hard, and a contented moan emitted from low in his chest as he started to cum right after her.Ā Ā
He thrusted a handful more times, prolonging both their orgasms and spilling languidly into her before coming to a stop, face pressed into her shoulder, back heaving up and down with exertion. Lucy realized that they were both covered in a thin sheen of sweat. Had they really been going at it that hard? She had been too lost in having him again to notice.Ā
She wrapped her arms around his back, nuzzling at the side of his head while they both caught their breath. He was trembling a little against her, face turning to kiss her shoulder a few times before pulling out and moving to lay beside her.
It fully hit her then. Seeing him return to filling the space that for the past week had been left vacant was enough to do it. He had come back to her. He had kept his promise. She wasnāt going to lose him.Ā
Tears clogged in her throat, emotion almost entirely overwhelming her. Tommyās arm hooked around her, pulling her into his chest. Immediately she snuggled into the warmth of his bare skin, head laying atop the patch of hair between his pectorals. His fingers stroked along the ridges of her spine, cheek moving to rest on the top of her head. Every once in a while his face turned to press kisses against her hairline.Ā
āAre you sure youāre okay?ā he asked quietly after a moment. Lucy dragged in a shaky breath.Ā
āI think I will be.ā
āDonāt worry about Lizzie. I expect that things will be as they always have with her. Sheāll have her good days and bad. But you donāt have to spend time with her or deal with her if you donāt want to. Sheās my problem. Not yours.ā
āYour problems are my problems,ā she said, adjusting her head on his chest to peer up at him. He gave her a tiny smile.
āI love you.ā
āI love you too.ā
He swept a curl behind her ear. āItās going to be alright,ā he decreed, shifting to relax more properly on the pillows, holding her tightly. As if to remind them both they were just as inseparable as they had been before he made his vows to Lizzie. Lucy closed her eyes, clinging to that indescribable, unbreakable bond between them, letting the presence of it soothe and lull her into believing him. āI promise,ā he added.
And Tommy never broke his promises to her.Ā
ā ā ā
Lucy watched Lizzie with a mounting sense of terror building in her chest. Hands fidgeting with each other earnestly, her heart leapt upwards to pound relentlessly in her throat.Ā
Maybe this was a mistake. Maybe she ought to leave; before Lizzie noticed her.Ā
And yet she didnāt move, frozen in place, just watching as Lizzie poured over a book propped up in her lap, steam from the teacup perched on the nearby table curling up into the air.Ā
She had slipped away while Tommy was busy returning all the calls heād missed during his absence. They had risen early that morning, first for another round of sex, and then to begin getting him caught up on everything. There was a small mountain of papers for him to sign, and that was just for things to do with his position in Parliament.Ā
Forcing herself to be brave, Lucy took a step forward. āLizzie?ā
She looked up, expression immediately souring. Lucy gulped at the chilly reception, but forced her features to remain in an expression of pleasantness, her voice warm.Ā Ā
āWe didnāt really get to talk yesterday.ā
āNo, we didnāt,ā Lizzie returned her gaze to the book in her lap, her tone greatly suggesting that the lack of conversation had been by design.Ā
āWellā¦did you have fun? In Paris, I mean.ā
Lizzie looked up at her again. āYes.ā Her shoulders heaved with a sigh. āAnd now itās over.ā
She couldnāt bring herself to continue to hold that gaze. Not when it was filled was such heartbreak and accusation. Instead, she dropped her head to stare down at her shoes. āIām sorry.ā
āAnd yet youāre not going to stop doing it.ā
āItāsā¦itās what we all agreed toā¦ā
Lizzie scoffed, slamming the cover of her book shut with a light thwap, placing it on the table and standing.Ā
āLizzie,ā she brought more firmness into her voice when she started to walk away from her. Lizzie froze, back stiffening. When she turned to face her, she had her chin tilted up, only adding to the intimidation of her already considerable height. Lucy gentled her voice, aware that barking at her was likely to get her nowhere. āYou and I have to figure out a way to deal with each other.āĀ
Lizzieās throat worked, but still she said nothing.Ā
āI know that you want me to leaveā¦butā¦I told him Iād stay. I canāt just abandon him and Charlie,ā Lucy tried desperately to explain.Ā
āSo devoted to each other,ā Lizzie sneered, shaking her head from side to side. āYou donāt care who else you both hurt because of it.ā
āI do care.ā She took a step forward. āI do. Thatās why we asked you so many times if you were sure about this, Lizzie,ā her voice cracked with frustration. āWhy did you say yes if you werenāt?ā
Lizzieās lips pressed together, head turning towards the windows. Lucy felt her shoulders slump.Ā
āDid you really expect things to change, once you got back?ā That thought had been plaguing her since last night. The question. Did Lizzie plan this along? Did she intend to trap him? Did she know from the very first moment that she accepted the proposal that she was going to change her mind about letting them be together? āYou know who he is, Lizzie. Youāve known for years. Did you really think that he would just transform overnight into what you wanted him to be?ā
āHe changed for Grace.ā
āYeah, but that was different, heāā she cut herself off sharply. He was in love with her, she had been about to say. Lizzie shot her a wounded expression. Lucy looked away. It felt like too cruel of a thing to actually speak aloud. Even if it was the truth. āEven then he couldnāt change the core of who he is,ā she decided to say instead. āAnd if he knew you were going to change your mind, he would never have married you. You know that.ā
āYes,ā Lizzie whispered. Lucy took another cautious step towards her. āI have a feeling that youād leave, if I asked you to. If I really pushed hard enough. To try toā¦assuage your guilt and make things easier for him. Is that right?āĀ
āProbably.ā She admitted, feeling a lump starting to grow in her throat. āAre you asking me to leave?ā
Lizzieās chin had dipped, face turning down to the floor. āIf I did, and you left, heād go after you. Heād bring you back home, and then heād divorce me. Just like he would divorce me if I asked him outright to choose between you and me.ā A spasm went through her chest. āI knowā¦I know that thereās no competition between us where Iāll come out on top. Not in his eyes.ā
āYouāre the mother of his child,ā Lucy inched a little closer to her, wanting to reach out, to touch her arm, to maybe even give her a hug. But she was too afraid that any physical contact between them would be unwelcome.Ā
Lizzie finally looked up at her with teary eyes. āSo are you.ā
āItās not the sameāā
āTo him it is.ā She sniffled, hands gripping at the material of her dress. āIām not asking you to leave.ā
Lucy nodded. āThank you,ā she whispered. āI can keep out of your way, if youād prefer. Iāll stick to my wing of the house. We donāt have to eat together, or spend evenings with each other. You wonāt have to see me much at all. The only thing I ask is that I get to have some time with the kids.āĀ
āTommy would never agree to you being excluded like that.ā
āHe would if I asked him to.ā He would kick up a fuss about it at first, she was sure, but in the end heād relent. So long as it was her who asked him to do it. Fixing Lizzie with a careful look, Lucy tilted her head, bracing herself. āIs that what you want, Lizzie?ā
Lizzieās lips had started to tremble, chin wobbling. She suddenly raised a hand to her face, pressing her palm to her eyes as the tears welling in them finally spilled over. āI donāt know what I want,ā she started to sob. Lucy reached out for her, touching lightly at one of her shaking shoulders. When she didnāt jerk away from the touch, she shuffled close to her, wrapping her arms around her in a hug.Ā
āThatās okay,ā she tried to soothe, feeling a little lost as far as what to do or what sort of comfort would be welcome from her. āYou donāt have to decide right now. The three of us are just going to have to feel things out for a little while. Figure out what works best for all of us.āĀ
Lizzie nodded, head dropping to rest in the crook of her shoulder. Lucy rubbed at her back. āIām sorry for how I acted yesterday.ā
āDonāt be. I understand. I knowā¦I know that I donāt have nearly as much to be upset about as you do. Not even close, but, this isnāt exactly how I would have preferred for things to go either.ā
Lizzie raised her head, looking at her with red-rimmed eyes. āNo?ā
Lucy raised an eyebrow. āYou think that I wanted to have to watch the love of my life have a family with someone else?ā Her fingers squeezed around Lizzieās arms. āYouāre his wife. Iāll only ever be his mistress.ā Weāll never have a full life together, she swallowed around the unspoken words and the hurt they inflicted. Despite what Tommy had said, about eventually divorcing Lizzie, she couldnāt help but be skeptical that such a thing would ever actually come to pass.
Lizzieās hands rested on her waist very lightly, and Lucy leaned closer to her until their foreheads touched.Ā
āIām sorry we canāt love you the way you want us to,ā she whispered, feeling Lizzie shudder and sob a little more at the words. āBut we do care about you, Lizzie. Please know that. We do care.ā
āI know.āĀ
āIām sorry.ā
āMe too.ā
She let her go, and Lizzie drew from her, space once more finding its way between them. Lizzie sank slowly into a nearby armchair, limbs slumping like a marionette that had just had its strings snipped. Lucy pulled out a handkerchief that she passed to her to dab at her eyes.
āTake some time to adjust,ā she said as she watched her. āMaybeā¦maybe itāll get better.ā
āAnd if it doesnāt?ā
She forced half a smile to pull at one side of her lips. āIām sure that you can find some other benefits to your life as Mrs. Shelby that donāt involve me and Tommy. With just the house, the kids, and the foundation I imagine you can keep yourself quite busy.ā
āYeah.ā Her voice was monotone, not full of much hope; the wall that had briefly come down while she cried in Lucyās arms starting to rise back up. Brick after brick being placed between them.Ā Ā
āDo you want me to leave you alone now?āĀ
āYes.āĀ
āOkay.ā Struck with a sudden feeling of boldness, she bent down, pressing a quick kiss to Lizzieās forehead before doing as asked and going to the door.Ā
She found Tommy still in his office, just setting the phone down. He smiled when he looked up and saw her, standing and walking around his desk to meet her.Ā
āWhere did you sneak off to?ā
āI went to go talk to Lizzie.ā
His smile dropped. āOh?ā At her nod, he put his arms around her. āHow did it go?ā
Shrugging, she rested her head on his chest. āShe didnāt shout at me, so I suppose it can be considered a positive interaction.ā She craned her head up to look at him. āThis isnāt going to be easy for her, Tommy.ā
āNo,ā he agreed with a sigh, kissing her forehead. āItāll be okay.ā
āShe might never adjust. Not fully. This most recent conversation between us went alright, but the next could be awful with how all over the place she can be.ā
āI know. Itās like living with a fucking pendulum.ā He sighed, rubbing her back. āWeāll look at getting a place in London like we talked about, eh? Give us somewhere to go hide out during the times when it gets really bad.ā
āDo you think that it would be better if I lived somewhere else? I could get another flat in Small Heathā¦ā
āAbsolutely not.ā
āIt might be worth thinking about.ā
He drew back enough to cup her cheeks. āYouāre staying with me. Youāre living with me, wherever I am. End of discussion.ā
āStubborn mule.ā But she was fighting back a fond smile.
āOi!ā
Grin blooming, she rested her chin on the center of his chest. āItās just something to consider. If things donāt get betterā¦ā
āIād go mad in this house without you,ā he said, shaking his head, giving her a kiss and then taking her hand. āCāmon. Iāve got more calls still to make. Mr. Martenson kept me on the phone for thirty bloody minutes.ā
āAnd what have I got to do with that?ā she asked, letting him pull her along with him. He collapsed back into his chair behind his desk.
āTo keep my lap warm,ā he grinned, and promptly pulled her squealing into his arms to sit upon his thighs.
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#tommy shelby#thomas shelby#tommy shelby x oc#tommy shelby fanfic#tommy shelby fanfiction#tommy shelby series#tommy shelby imagine#peaky blinders#peaky blinders fanfic#peaky blinders imagine#cillian murphy
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the weird part about shipping comic book couples is that you generally don't want your faves to "become canon" because it's like... you really do not want your OTP(s) in the hands of comic book writers lmao.... they will not do your faves any justice and then in a few months/years there will be an overdramatic break-up or worse and it'll be a mess one way or another
#the exceptions to this are those who were kind of designed as a couple to begin with#comics#text post#anyway point is: do not depend on canon to spark joy in this aspect#because it never does and it never willš#you should have fun making stuff for yourself and friends#like honestly just look at BatCat??? they're 'canon' but good lord are they a hot mess because DC is so unserious lol#i like that couple very casually and i still get pissed at the way they're treated can't imagine being a hardcore stan#or even DickBabs and DickKori.... like oof š
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some rather strong first impressions were made.
required reading for the magical "voice" headcanon and another for starstruck's signature in particular. asked by @trainerbob23 !
#did i need to do a 9 page comic for this... well who knows. i had this scene in mind for a long time and wanted to do it justice!#important moment for both of them. you can see starstruck just generating the bandee shaped mental illness in real time.#and bandee resolving to be her point of contact with waddle dees if the others can't handle it#he is after all; the strongest and the bravest and the best of them.#āwhat is this signature likeā it's like meeting something that has a human face but you can tell it is Not Human. think: uncanny valley#it also took her quite some time to pick up her own voice. she could not speak (popstarian) on her own for a while#she does not mimic anymore though if she can help it because it tends to weird others out and she wants to avoid that!!#it's not like a fun or enjoyable impersonation; it's like a perfect recording on a device.#also i guess this is *finally* the reveal of the 'hospital' mentioned previously that folks noticed and also like... her name š#anyway.... thank you to everyone who voted for starstruck in that poll and has encouraged this insane self indulgence... wow.#never thought i'd get to draw stuff like this and have others look forward to it. i really hope you'll enjoy this!!!#my art#my comics#starstruck dee#bandana waddle dee
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Ok bitches listen up. I need at least *one* Hazbin Hotel writer to do this scenario
Reader is a hellborn(idc what species except for hellhound because this is my request fuck off) and homeless and she got knocked up and baby daddy ditched so Charlie being the angel she is offers reader a room.
Fast forward to episode 5 (whoever starts this feel free to do the whole series but this is mainly focusing on ep 5(OMG WHAT IF READER GOES INTO LABOR DURING THE FINAL BATTLE IN EPISODE 8 FHUXHEHDJ. Chille anyways-)) and the reader is ready to pop any day now. Charlie is introducing the hotel residents to Lucifer and they get to reader and he's just wanting to touch the belly and looking at it with almost child like wonder lookin like this emoji: š„ŗ
Normal hotel shenanigans ensue. Thanks for coming to my TED talk UwU
#lucifer morningstar#hazbin hotel lucifer#hazbin hotel x reader#habzin hotel spoilers#alastor#angel dust#charlie morningstar#vaggie#niffty#hazbin hotel husk#lucifer x reader#lucifer magne#DONT BULLY ME LET ME HAVE THIS#Its ironic because i already decided im never fucking having kids š#im absolutely feral abt this man its highly unhealthy#he makes me question my asexuality#bonus points if alastor is hella platonically protective#if/when someone does this tag me plz XD
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Everyone's reading tactic is so different. I've never seen myself as any character before, I'm always observing and seeing the story as it goes, I can however like a character. so when people say I see myself in this person it makes no sense to me because i would never make the choices some of these females make š
Tamlin is better than many males I've seen accross many fae books these days. There is nothing wrong with being sweet and showing love. If today a man did what the bat boys do no one will give them the time of day, why because we all want the flowers, the date, the princess treatment. No woman would want to be cooped up indoors and fucking throughout their whole relationship... B that's side piece relationship š¤£š cassian never defends Nesta... yh I would've left his ass yet oh Cassian he's my baby.. whatā¼ļøš¤£
Many of us agree it is a white womans view and take on the paradise of velaris being the utopia that's why I have been saying Velaris is the city of the dusk court it was never part of the night court. Hence why it may have been sheilded. (The hl of night wanted to keep it from the horrors of hewn) and swallowed by the NC. The thing is the True Night court is actually Hewn City, I don't know how people don't see that. in Calanmai HLs participated in the rites or had strong fae representatives to take their place so I won't be surprised if the their traditions is being done by Keir. Rhys doesn't have to take part in it. So how do they know what the NC true tradition is? It could be bloody and messy and I'd be here for it. Rhysie goosie says he doesn't stay in hewn because they do not like him, yea no shit... when you go there to intimidate them, how does he know what truly goes on?. yes I did love the cruel prince, perfect example.
š some of us here have names for them. The Tampon is so overrated and boring š„± they are shook when I say things like that š¤£š¤£ yh it can go both ways.
CALANMAI: Spring Court šøšŖ·šŗ
I feel like everyone loves to form these think pieces on only the Night court and itās only the night court that has lores and traditions. Basically sjm as put everything there that it makes all other courts less attractive, less important and less appealing, which I think is not fair. Im tired of all the in CC connections to the night court or ToG connected to Rhys etc. it gets boring and stagnant and Iām over it. I want something new and fresh. So I chose the next one in ACOTAR that at least we have some incline of which is Calanmai š
I know itās brushed off because of how Tamlin is hated, but besides the spring court we donāt know much about the others. Okā¦.
Calanmai isnāt actually a spring festival if we are going to use the welsh explanation. Basically it marks the beginning of summer. But some of the key features of this rite were reimagined in ACOTAR: fire rituals to honor the sun, fertility celebrations (the sexy time āŗļø) to honor the earth and sky, dancing to promote unity with other courts, the use of flowers and greenery.
So here are my two scents on Calanmai
Itās presented as a sacred rite tied deeply to the magic, fertility, and prosperity of the Spring Court and, by extension, all of Prythian. I say prythian because it was stated that all HLs participate in this rite.
Lucien says:
āIt's the Great Rite, Cauldron boil me! Didn't anyone tell you what it is? [...] Fire Night signals the official start of spring-in Prythian, as well as in the mortal world.
Side thought Did spring offer majority of their land to the humans? Which means they couldāve had so much land as the night court before??? Thoughts?
Continue:
I...] Here, our crops depend upon the magic we regenerate on Calanmai-tonight. [...] We do this by conducting the Great Rite. Each of the seven High Lords of Prythian performs this every year, since their magic comes from the earth and returns to it at the end-it's a give and take."
Lucien then goes on to explain how Tamlin will have magic going through him, etc.
So if itās a give and take, the crown that ferret wanted so badly, what is she GIVING? The HLs all serve prythian so what has ferret done in other courts? š
So Not only is the spring court important it depends on the spring court to put food on everyoneās table aka rhysie goosie and ferret. I bet she doesnāt know where her food comes from.
Also the question of Rhys not taking part in this rite last time is always questioned. Lucien tells Feyre that after Tamlin believed Feyre had been abducted in the Night Court at the time of Calanmai, he refused to perform the Great Rite. Lucien took his place, taking lanthe, the most powerful Fae female in the court at that moment, (tam canāt catch a break with These powerful females š¤£) into the cave and performing the Rite even though he hated her. Which means that many HLs can send people in their courts who are powerful like ianthe to take their place when they cant make it.
The HL being power itself are CONDUITS, without them the magic may faulter because we as readers donāt even know HOW THE HLs came to be. Tamlin, as High Lord of the Spring Court, channels the primal magic of the season to renew the landās fertility and magic. During this rite, Tamlin temporarily surrenders himself to the raw, ancient forces of Spring Magic, ensuring the continued abundance and balance of his courtās lands and its people. See him surrendering and coming all the way back to bite ferretā¦ I wish that was meā¼ļøš¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£ Iād surrender tooā¦
Anywayā¦ šHere are some of my theories on how the Calanmai rite at the spring court benefits Tamlin, the spring court and all of prythian:
ā¢ as HL, it reaffirms Tamlins Role as a Conduit of Magic. he solidifies his bond with the land and its magic, strengthening his power as a protector and ruler. This part is important because his courtās health is tied to his ability to serve, not just rule.
ā¢ maintains balance to the magic of the land and prythian as a whole.
ā¢ a very important detail here that people seem to miss, Calanmai is TRADITION AND RESPONSIBILITY! In a time of political tension, it could reinforce Tamlins role as a leader aligned with the natural order. Hopefully in his pov those who deserted him in his court as well as the other courts cannot by pass him if something is to happen to the land without the rites performed. He will be needed. He cannot stay cooped up forever.
ā¢ I think itās fairly obvious that this rite ensures fertility and growth. Lush vegetation, bountiful harvest etc, I think thatās where the sex part comes him š
ā¢ so I think Calanmai also is a rite performed to reinforce the warding spells and protection barriers surrounding the Spring Court, safeguarding it from external threats and maintaining the balance of power within Prythian. It makes sense because after the Asteri came and caused interruptions, the HLs wanted something that could protect them when another alien came. And it makes sense that velaris is still strong with all its barrier intact (pretty prison)
ā¢ I love this partā¦. The rite Maintaining connections to old magic šŖ old primal magic that existed before even the HLs. As much as ferret spits on fae tradtions, old magic is not tamed, it goes no where and will always need the old ways to satiate it. The tradition preserves the courtās unique identity and ensures its magic does not wane over time. (And just because peopleās tradtions are different from yours doesnāt mean you should not respect it. *coughs* feyreš)
ā¢ Without Calanmai, the ripple effect of unchecked or stagnant spring magic could destabilize the balance across courts. Each court in Prythian is tied to its respective season, and The Spring Court serves as the starting point of the cycle of growth, fertility, and rebirth that sustains all of Prythianās lands.
ā¢ the HLs participations also brings unity, they arenāt secluding themselves, they donāt forget why they are HLs and also one people. Iām thinking over the millennia they have forgotten so some choose not to take part in it. I guess. But these should be the times their alliances formed and become strongerā¦ š¤¦š¾āāļø
Calanmai is not merely a ceremonial event in my opinion , it is a magical and political necessity as I said before and For Tamlin, it reinforces his strength and bond with the Spring Court. For the Spring Court, it guarantees fertility, protection, and prosperity. For Prythian, it ensures that the cycle of life and magic continues unbroken. Participating in Calanmai is both a privilege and a responsibility.
A little side thought: As someone who is heavily into spirituality, I believe that the nature courts deal more with the physical and the celestial courts deal with the spiritual eg. Spring provides food for the physical body, night provides dreams and nightmares for the astral body. (If this makes sense?) š
#pro tamlin#anti feysand#anti rhysand#tamlin#a court of thorns and roses#acotar critical#the fae are weird fight me#the night court is lame#the weirdest thing about them is that some have bat wings#but rhysand and co hates like 99% of all people with those wings#always pro tamlin#pro tamlin acotar
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Jamie and Roy spending ridiculous amounts of time together and Phoebe knowing about it definitely means that Jamieās around Phoebe a lot more in the off-season when sheās off school and Royās off work but still being Jamieās personal trainer for free (and she definitely likes bossing Jamie around just as much as Roy does and finds the ridiculous shit Roy makes him do hilarious)
And you know that thing where kids love to randomly go watch this, I can do a somersault or want to see me do a cartwheel? and then you just have to awkwardly stand there and be like wow whether they actually can do them or not (and sometimes several times in a row have to try to think of something new to say the fifth time they do the exact same thing and then look to you for a reaction)
Iām just saying at some point theyāre in some park and Phoebe definitely pulls a look how good Iām getting at cart wheels, Uncle Roy! around Jamie at some point and while Roy just stands there like š§āāļø and gives compliments that gradually get more and more deadpan and debates turning it into saying how much more impressive that is than anything Jamieās done all morning but he doesnāt because heās 90% sure that would just lead to Jamie getting all indignant and competitive and proving he can cartwheel too as if Roy isnāt already annoyingly aware of that from when he was dying trying to keep up with Jamie in Amsterdam while he was cartwheeling and practically skipping
But obviously Roy not saying anything doesnāt matter anyway and Jamie turns it into being like watch this to Phoebe and cartwheeling too and turning to Roy after like well go on, tell me how good I am at that too
Roy deadpans somehow itās far less impressive watching a grown man cartwheel for attention. Itās just sad, really
But Jamie isnāt offended at all and just shoots Roy an obnoxious smirk and insists youāre just saying that because you know you couldnāt do one. Even trying would probably end with you needing a hip replacement or something
But before Roy can even properly argue or say something bitchy back, Jamieās turning back to Phoebe with a how about this then? But even though itās her he asks, itās Roy he looks to the moment he finishes running a few steps and doing a one-handed cartwheel
And Jamieās like well now are you impressed??? And god, Roy resents that he is and he could make a dig about how useless of a skill it was as an adult and how that wouldnāt accomplish anything on the pitch and heād just look like one of the kids that picks flowers on the pitch instead of playing or even paying attention to where the ball is, but instead he rolls his eyes and says yeah okay
And Jamie beams but he doesnāt have time to properly gloat and give Roy shit because Phoebeās already bossing him around telling him that he has to teach her how to do that too
#Iāve been debating putting this in one of my fics for months and still may#Meanwhile if Keeley saw Jamie cartwheel for attention and praise sheād be like I never know what to do when a grown man does a cartwheel in#front of meā¦#Keeley would be underwhelmed watching Jamie do a cartwheel but also 100% would attempt one and join in if Phoebe asked her to#Phoebe definitely got into football because of Roy#But I could also see her getting into gymnastics too because of Jamie indulging her and being just as eager to do the same little kid tricks#And then she sees someone else on the team do a flip showing off and them all arguing over whether they could do a flip too if they tried#And attempting with various results and sheās like well I want to be able to do a flip too and talks her mom#into signing her up for gymnastics and then talks Jamieās ear off about her gymnastics class and the little kid tea from it because heās#sure to match her energy and buy into it like he always does#Roy Kent#Jamie Tartt#Phoebe OāSullivan#Ted Lasso#RoyJamie#Mine#I donāt have the energy or brainpower to reread this as usual so enjoy the typos and whatever autocorrect changes things too š
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Ok, Hogan's Heroes fandom, I've got a question for you: if you were introducing someone to the show for the very first time, which episode would you start with? For bonus points, also tell me WHY you choose that episode.
#Hogan's Heroes#bonus points can be exchanged for a reduced sentence in the cooler#the next time you have to take the fall for something on behalf of the mission#half of this question is borne from curiosity and the other half is because I do want to introduce a friend to the show#as soon as I can convince her to actually give it a chance#I may have asked something like this before but I can't remember so we're doing it again#personally I wouldn't start with the pilot because that's where I started#and I was VERY confused about a couple of details (namely who's who) for like half a dozen episodes after that#so I'd probably just start with Hold That Tiger but idk if there's a better choice#it's hard to see these episodes through the eyes of someone who's never seen any of them before you know#idk I feel like no matter what I do my friend's just gonna have to be a little bit confused the first couple episodes š#and I just have to hope that I can convince her to press on#not that it's bad at the beginning by any means but it does get better once you know the show
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I've started to ascribe emotional and intellectual meaning to the prayers we say in shul, so now I can properly beseech g-d when I pray with everyone else
And I've got to say, there's something really special about it. I recommend beseeching Him as often as possible
#jumblr#jew by choice#jewish conversion#personal thoughts tag#as in i don't need to read the english translation i can just understand as we pray#i never got being emotional when in prayer and whatnot but now i do#i'm just grateful for this because i was worried i would never be able to truly understand what i am praying#especially because my shul does english and hebrew mixed#me praying ×¢×©× ×©××× like we will never be granted peace otherwise š#that prayer is just special to me okay
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Haven't talked about specific details of my life so much on here this year (compared to past years anyway), but, beginning of the year my ballet teacher moved me out of the adult ballet class which she thought would be too easy for me, to put me in with some of the teens doing exam work, just for a bit of a challenge on the ol' brain (and she said she needed someone to demonstrate jumps for them because she's getting too old š
). Ended up sticking with them for the whole year, and we just had our end of year show, and there are two moments that stuck out to me from show week with these girls:
1. Them asking me what year I started doing ballet and immediately responding with "we weren't even born yet!" like, yes, thank you, I figured that out, you didn't need to say it out loud in a lovely little chorus like that, it was like having a biblical experience of being told that I'm old
2. One of the girls walking in, plonking her bag down, taking her headphones off, turning to me and without even saying hello, pointing at me and saying "you, you seem like someone who would like Chappell Roan", which, yes, I do, but please 15 year old that I interact with for approximately an hour each week in circumstances where we barely to get to talk, I need to know how you reached that conclusion about me, because I don't walk around in ballet class with pride flags stuck to me
#personal#admittedly that girl specifically does know me slightly better than some of the other girls because we had a dance together last year#where she played an antagonistic child while i was the fun aunt#but weve never talked about queerness or music or anything š
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85 pulls
I have pulled 85 times since getting aventurine, maybe more and nothing....
no 5 star
no robin
no topaz
nothing.
#Does the game not want me to not get them?#is it because im not 10 pulling?#is it beause boothill wants to come home instead?#we'll never know#I honestly don't care who I get#just stop the madness#85 or 89 pulls#š¤£šš#Even the 50 pity can't save me#tell me people#is it a sign???#I swear i havent done anything wrong to deserve this#....is it because they can smell that im going to play wuthering waves when it comes out?#can they smell betrayel?#(did i spell that right?)#who knows#maybe#sorry hoyo#im an unfaithful hoe#*shrugs*#honkai: star rail#hsr#HSR Robin#HSR Topaz#HSR Aventurine#I really got that aventurine luck lmao
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