#because it 'wasn't too intense'
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I came back from pilates with jelly limbs yesterday so I knew it would be bad, but I can barely walk today. I was supposed to get water but I just don't think I can lift a 10 l. bottle right now, chief!
#tap water for the weekend it is#i remember one time my cousin's ex husband was mocking her for 'only' doing pilates as exercise#because it 'wasn't too intense'#go fuck yourself lol
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Just finished the third season of Bridgerton (it was an incredibly frustrating watch)...People have said that Penelope is named as such because of her nickname Pen and her being a writer... but has anyone thought of the reference to the Odyssey and Penelope being the wife of Odysseus? You know, she had to be loyal for 20 years while Odysseus gallivanted across the globe and was distracted/cheating on her Circe? I feel like it goes with the whole Polin narrative too. She's the one who had to wait for him to get a clue. And if you've read the Penguin version of the Odyssey, you know everyone is like omg! Odysseus, so amazing, the sacker of cities etc. Which parallels Colin's "glow up". Totally think it's more of a literary reference since the two of them are writers...
#bridgerton#bridgerton season 3#colin bridgerton#penelope featherington#polin#don't know how much this works for the book#didn't read the books#I ranted at my sister for an hour straight about this season (behated)#wtf was the character arcs for any of the characters this season? a whole lot of nothing..#the writers literally set everything up and then did everything in their power to make the arcs pointless#soooo many crimes of telling instead of showing#bridgerton was never high art but season 1 and 2 landed character and the audience buying into the relationships and cheering for the coupl#disappointed#literally feel like I hated polin in what was supposed to be their season#colin vascilates wildly... and there are like two scenes where i recognize the character he was is season 1 and 2#literally hated him for soooo much#really hate how the season wasn't about the couple but whistledown#and yet they couldn't show us WHY Penelope wants to keep being Whistledown besides telling us why so I just don't get why#they could not decide if whistledown is good or bad and settled on girlboss power!#but here i am like girl... you're ruining lives... you've ruined lives... it's just gossip#they literally screwed over all their characters for nothing#their scenes of intimacy don't land because they feel incredibly paint by numbers and often occur after intense confrontations#confrontations that do not logically make sense for sexy times#the mirror scene exists purely as plot so colin can later accuse Penelope of trapping him in marriage#like that's suuuuper ick#they made colin so incredibly ick i don't recognize him or want him with Penelope#even Penelope making the choice to be whistledown over her new family was insane and illogical based on how the plot developed#i watched the seaon twice to really pin down how I feel and ended up rewatching season 1 and 2 because season 3 part 2 pissed me off so muc#and it's sooo night and day#i just feel sad because i wanted to root for this couple too... but they made it unrootable
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Doctor: Huh, is that who I am now?
Donna: It was never that far from the surface, mate.
Doctor: frowns Yes, it was! You know I used to be a woman. And that made people... assume all sorts of stuff. And - and pretending to be Graham's wife for five minutes was bad enough but - Byron? That was torture. Does the man ever stop talking?
Donna: Takes one to know one
Doctor: Oi! I just mean, there were all these men people assumed I would be into and I - and I just - I just wanted -
Donna: I know, darling.
Doctor: softly I just wanted Yaz.
Donna: I know. - There was one man, though, remember?
Doctor: No, there wasn't! I don't fancy the Master!
Donna: ...
Doctor: Okay, fine. But the Master isn't a man. He's like me! Flexible - uh - timelord gender and stuff.
Donna: Sure.
Doctor: So, anyway, I have always been primarily into wom-
Donna: What about Jack Harkness?
Doctor: - Jack doesn't count, everyone fancies Jack.
Donna: ...fair enough.
#Donna: can we also talk about how you were literally married to a man in Gloucester?#Doctor: How is THAT something that stuck to your brain?#Donna: I met you there. Shaun and I did the walking tour.#Doctor: Huh. - Was I any good?#Wild blue yonder#Donna Noble#Sorry I am just still hung up on the 'is that who I am now' comment#Because I feel like what they actually meant to say was the Doctor going I AM QUEER?!?!#as if they didn't just spend three entire series making heart eyes at Yaz#So it makes more sense to interpret it as 'Hang on I like men too?' but honestly even that is such a stretch?#Yeah sure 13 is very much not into men#(except for the Master)#(maybe Astos)#(possibly Swarm)#(obviously Jack)#But any other incarnation has been very openly into men?#Like 12 kept name dropping guys he fancied/was fancied by? Like that algae king and stuff. Also the Master#(Let's not talk about 11)#10 had a very intense thing with Harold Saxon AND Jack#Plus the number of guys he flirted with - among them Shakespeare#And I don't even have to talk about 9 whose first kiss on screen was with a man#To be fair it is mostly off-screen/casual and the Master and Jack#So like if we interpret it as above we can make it work at least#(But. Yes. Also: Lee!! Literally married a man. Even if that was only for staying undercover there were definitely some deep feelings there#and I am quite sure had they been purely platonic they would not have posed as married. But as siblings or best friends or something)#If we are being completely real the sentence is probably about the Doctor discovering they can find people hot now#But that actually wasn't there before I think?#So then Donna's comment makes little sense#Or no hang on - 12 found the dinosaur hot and all of them the TARDIS obviously#So maybe that's what it's all about actually
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Pretty much every Mischief (and Mischief-adjacent) work: at least one character with father issues (or parental issues in general) that are dragged out for as long as possible and maybe there's some kind of a resolution at the end...maybe...
Pretty much every MMNI episode: "sure dad, I'll instantly forgive all the crap you've been putting me through throughout my formative years up to and including literally murdering me, FAMILY HUGS AND SING-ALONG TIME!"
#act two ramblings#mischief theatre#mmni#to quote Oscar: I'm not saying it's good or bad I just thought it was worth commenting on#like I know they're often left with literal seconds to try and wrap everything up in MMNI but...really...#some of those fathers were forgiven way too easily...#I think the only one that wasn't was Harry Kershaw in Croydonosaurus#and that's literally only because we never got the sequel...#this honestly isn't meant as any kind of criticism#it's just that listening to Les Whisperables and then watching both parts of Look Out is certainly an experience...#you know that MMNI post that's like “imagine the fan discourse if these were real movies”?#I feel like this is something that post was referring to...#Like this would absolutely be the subject of intense fan discourse if these were real movies...
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I do think that not being allowed to be a little grumpy and unreasonable in private without someone noticing would give me new unique kinds of neuroses though. I have always wished the imperial radch books examined breq's surveillance of her crew more in the later books because the common radchaii habit of being intentionally oblique/people from other places being more oblique and unreadable when talking to someone from the radch irritates breq frequently but seems to me to be the natural result of constantly being monitored. breq may be causing some of her own interpersonal issues here
#that aspect of the books has really aged. hmm i don't know if i can say well? because i wish it wasn't as relevant#but it was well observed#i think we see breq reckon with it more on the level of mourning something she's lost because it's her nature as a ship#but i'd love to hear maybe seivarden's take on constantly being monitored for emotional upheaval as someone recovering from addiction#it seems like the lack of privacy would be a major roadblock to recovering from a drug that#specifically limits your emotions (therefore your emotions won't stand out as being too intense and you'll avoid that level of scrutiny)#imperial radch
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Idk I think it's funny seeing people on twitter say things like "Christians want to tell you it's all a part of Jesus's plan until it's them!" cause like idk about you but I've had family members 100% say they're ready to meet the Lord than interfere with his plans via a Tylenol and a flu shot
#I had a cousin think she'd die from covid and actually lost her husband to it#only to say she wasn't scared of the virus because she had the blood of jesus over her#I still have family that says the blood of jesus will protect them better than any vaccine so they won't get it#I had an aunt scoff at me for taking birth control to control my endometriosis#and use my nebullizer for a severe asthma attack#and she refused to take her singular pill for her blood pressure until she literally couldn't see and her sister forced her to take it#she's in her 90's so ig it's more understandable but also she is v healthy for a 90 year old#like there are so many twitter users speaking from the outside that do not understand just how intense these christians can get#the politcians running off christian values or whatever? they just want power and money#aunt mary lou and uncle billy bob in the middle of nowhere georgia?#they'll hunt you for sport for even thinking about taking a claritin#my grandfather doesn't believe in allergies btw and apparently that's a p common boomer thing too#some believe in allergies but think if you have them you're meant to die from them as intended#it's fuckin wild out here#ex christian#religious trauma
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I love him so much, they are SO SILLY- 😭
#moth.plays#i'll make a tag for my gaming sessions when something really cool happens because i've been loving natlan so far!!! like omg it's gorgeous#i especially love it whenever the OST's vocals start playing in the background while i'm exploring like omg!!!#BUT CAN HE BE PLAYABLE FASTER I'M BEGGING- please#that aside i had an eye surgery a week and a half ago so i wasn't able to draw anything in the meantime :( my vision has been too blurry#but my eye has been healing well so far and now it's more itchy than anything else#regardless i've just got the green light that i could start drawing again with hopefully less intense headaches than i've had this week!#so i'm def looking forward to trying that tomorrow while i'll keep focusing on moze's release in two days and on exploring natlan <3#i'll peace out for now but yay life update
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this is weird and overly personal but blogging about it anyway. i started a silly project at the end of may this year to exercise every single day (with small exceptions for exams etc) until the first sleep token show - idk why i chose that (i do, it was 'do it for vessel') but having a finite goal is so much easier to work towards than 'i will continue this habit for the rest of my life'. long story short i've done it and i'll continue on even though the first show has passed (do it for papa v this time?) but just saw myself in the mirror in the hotel i'm staying at for the next ritual and jdbdhjdbdj i've got some defined muscle i didn't have this time six months ago thank u vessel
#i don't have a huge mirror in my uni house so didn't notice but. yeah. sorry for rambling about this#just a bit thrilled#of all the great things that becoming a fan of some bands has done for me#this is the most surprising#it's not a crazy schedule btw it's just one thing per day no matter how intense#so could range from a full muay thai class to just walking to campus#it's so much easier than saying#'i will complete this specific exercise every single day no excuses'#because 'do it for vessel' has its limits#so. stayed very flexible but consistent#it wasn't for appearances#genuinely happier with that than i ever have been in my memory#(thanks copia)#just for overall health#and i do feel physically great#mentally better too now that i'm prioritising it#sorry again wow cant shut up#yeah im . jdbdjd :')#been quite a day of doing new things#and it just hit me that i've stayed consistent for 6 months#with visible proof that i didn't intend#and genuinely without a shred of doubt it's all because of vessel#i think i must have seen how healthy he's looking nowadays and thought wow <3 wish that were me#now it's beginning to be#bye to the engineering stick muscles jdbdjdhd
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I have so many screenshots of Kalpas' face I could reconstruct his face at this point, and I'm afraid to say I'm not sure his face is scarred
#Biggest disappointment in a while#The marks on his face coincide exactly in shape and placement with the waves and twirls of his bangs#and they're the same colour used for the shading of his face#Which makes me think perhaps they're the shadow his hair forms on his face#I'm afraid of this realisation and hope it isn't the case but thankfully (?) I suppose we'll never know for sure#On the other hand his eyelashes have those reddish brownish parts that I thought were just the model breaking down#but they seem to belong to the actual design in some of the screenshots I've taken. That would be nice#I did want him scarred though. The marked dark eyebags are good nonetheless#And he has green eyes. A very realistic shade of green. I wasn't expecting him to have green eyes at all and I like it very much#I went to take screenshots hoping for noseless guy and I've ended up thinking he doesn't even have scars#I don't even know what to say haha#Kalpas#I talk too much#Traces#HI3#I am very much not normal about the fact he has green eyes. I don't know why I have loved it so intensely#nor why the realisation has surprised me so severely#But I do really enjoy the fact that he has green eyes#By the way‚ hilarious when Mei catches him talking with some other Flame Chaser and he talks normal. No threatening tone. No screaming#Even with Mobius. Yes he's angry yes he's sad yes the weight of the past is crumbling over him#but kind of like everyone else there. Mei gets in the middle of his conversations with Hua or Elysia or even Mobius and he is calm#and having a decent conversation. Then Mei arrives and he becomes that one Yu Gi Oh character#or Light in one of his bad days or over L's tomb#or something along those lines of exaggerated. It's so funny#Truly hilarious and so very silly. I would have died in two days there because I would not have been able to avoid making fun of him
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Revenant is soooo mid which is disappointing because I was looking forward to it due to the actors and writer (this isn’t a flop like Jirisan, which I gave up on after 2–3 episodes, but it’s not really good). BUT. BUT!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’m suffering from “poor little meow meow middle-aged man” deficiency and Professor Yeom Haesang suffers so much. I can’t believe I was like “Oh...okay” about his casting because I’m planting my palms against his windows, peering at him in his little cage and being fed because he’s had the worst life ever and it keeps getting worse. HAESANG *____*<3
#why are we not talking about him more on reddit/twitter/tumblr and why are there not enough gifs and pics of him breaking down#or looking slutty in his all black ensembles complete with a turtleneck#watch as this man's life continues to deteriorate! ep. 7 and 8 provided such rich sustenance for me#a simp for ajusshideul who are miserable#he's so small and sad and he can't catch a break#yeah okay hongsae is great too and he's a cutie but LOOK AT THIS 40-YEAR-OLD MAN!#technically i wouldn't even count that as MIDDLE age middle-aged but his actor is 46 so whatever#in all seriousness revenant exasperates me a little because you can see how it can be good#especially because there's a frame of reference to base that hypothesis on: signal. lol.#signal wasn't without its flaws but the characters and relationships actually had development and the main partnerships were intense#and the tension was high throughout#revenant is the same thing every episode pretty much#the first three episodes were pretty to really good and i loved the setup#and you have kim taeri hong kyung and oh jungsae and they're great actors#but the directing and writing aren't serving them well and you can see the drop in quality from the beginning to now tbh#there's only so much they can do if they're not being given enough from both#though the little bits that are good are the reason i'm sticking around to the end lol. that and haesang i'm going to be real#like haesang and sanyoung's relationship needed to be parallel soohyun and haeyoung's in a way in terms of how much#they grow to rely on each other and care for each other but we don't really get that
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year six of being salty that around halfway through RoS the writers went 'shit we accidentally wrote five way too sympathetic and reasonable, and he is rapidly going through a redemption arc. quick shove in random serial killer shit out of nowhere without explanation, which completely contradicts his character and its development up til then. wait fuck he's redemption arcing EVEN HARDER in FoT. shit shit shit okay just make him hannibal lecter'
#lorien legacies#LL number five#LL crit tag#the crit files#five hurting people is something he consistently has to work himself up toward by turning them into an Object of Hatred#and/or having someone else encourage him to do so#because hurting people /fucks him up/ even when he hates them#and after that has hit its breaking point of emotional intensity he just. stops wanting to hurt them#wants to help them or at least for them to be alright in fact; even when they've treated him horrifically#and when that breaking point results in doing irreversible harm he regrets it SO MUCH#he has to spend a month dissociating and keeping himself busy every waking hour not to break the fuck down over what he did to ethan#and he DOES break the fuck down over killing eight#like even if he thought well of eight in particular by comparison he's been stoked up to hate the other garde in general#which leads pretty quickly to regret and total lack of malice toward the garde after the showdown in florida#he is completely broken over it#even /nine/ he loses 'i want this person hurt' animosity toward after florida. in fact animosity at all that we see after that initial#monologue over eight's body; where he's having his big moment of realizing he has more hatesinking to regret than just hurting eight#and he doesn't say he wants nine to suffer. he just says it wasn't worth helping him because he thinks he'd just throw it away#the only time we see him kill someone and not seem too fucked up about it is when it's a mog soldier who presumably knew what he was#signing up for; and was literally swinging a sword at five's head#five fucks me up because at heart he just does not have real malice in him. if he is feeling it something has gone terribly wrong#not as in ~lol of course it has he's crazy~ but as in 'if you supposedly feel fine but are under so much stress that you're having constant#shakes and heart palpitations that is not your default state of being; you are being bent in half and you're eating yourself'#so them randomly going uhmmm ACTUALLY he's a BLOODTHIRSTY SADISTIC SERIAL KILLER who carves his number into a rando's chest#for no reason; and lets people regenerate rather than kill them so he can savor hacking them apart over and over; and drools over murdering#as many people as he can including two random mog guards that happened to be in him and ella's way is like. fuck off lmao#even if you try to go with him turning the mogs into a hatesink for what they've done he would go into a breakdown spiral as soon as it#resulted in killing someone and actually seeing them suffer. the other exception to this that we see before the character assassination#started was deltoch but i do feel like there's an explanation there; it doesn't feel Jarring; but will have to think about it#anyway five has some great moments in UaO but it's really frustrating trying to pick through the bullshit for Actual Characterization
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Cut version viewers that were only shown a short version of this song (30 SECONDS?!?) never got to experience what it is to watch Payu singing a capella for two whole minutes, thinking he's done every other verse and being wrong every time
#love in the air#don't get me wrong#despite being long this is also one of the few Mandatory Singing Scenes in BLs that I actually find enjoyable#and in that sense it's a loss too#especially because my boy Rain looks weak when he can't stand eye contact AFTER THIRTY SECONDS!?#OUTRAGEOUS! HE ENDURED TWO MINUTES OF INTENSE SERANADING! GET YOUR FACTS RIGHT!#btw the cut version is sooo badly edited it'd be funny if it wasn't horrible#ON EP4 THEY CUT. LIKE. 10 MINUTES OUT OF THE ENDING???#not only the NC scene (understandable) but half the bathtub scene too??? THEY CUT OUT PHAYU APOLOGIZING!!! OUTRAGEOUS CRIMINAL ABHORRENT#they also cut out their tongue kiss in Rain's room lmaooo#memindy everybody knows you're not a puritan. and utube is definitely not that strict?? what is the reason babes
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@lulughoul my ship may have been sunk but I'm sinking with it. If anyone wants to pay me a visit you can find me at the bottom of the ocean.
...I am already getting overtaken by marine organisms.
#canon can't stop me#it may bring me pain#but I've become emotionally attached#I can't let go anymore that chance bypassed me many months ago#part of the ship part of the crew and all that#I'm stuck#heelp#I jest#but as my mother always said; there's a truth to every joke#ay that aside#I saw you liked the tags I left on that association post#└( •͈ᴗ•͈)」#(tis a happy dance)#your pasta saltiness reminds me of my sister. she refused to eat it for years because my parents made it so often#I'm very happy to hear that you think I'm understanding; that's important to me#and I /do/ love listening to people's autistic rambles hehehe#seeing folks be passionate about their interests is awesome; the more intense the better#also happy to know you like talking to me but I wasn't doubting that anymore at this point haha#I enjoy talking to you too#and yess my interest in monsters aside from mh got across >:)#and mythical creatures!#these things are some of the longest standing interests I have#they mean so much to me#so yeah your tags brought me joy as well#rätposting#dracugoona#it is not the end...#not on my blog at least#I will continue to be unwell about them#now with a twinge of pain added to the mix :D
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i read a hannigram fic last night where op decided it was an okay thing to mention vatsyayana and my brain chemistry is fucked now.
#raj shitposting#afghdaklkjfdakjfgaskjgf#so for context i read the kamasutra as a joke earlier last month and istg i was not expecting what i read.#bro- listen i thought it'd be about heterosexual sex only but it's really not specified IN SO MANY PLACES IT MAKES ME WANNA YELL.#there's this entire section in the text about scents. now idk how many of y'all know seema anand but you should def check out her tedtalk.#because she kinda boils it down to the very basics with the best examples for all of those who do not want their brain chemistry altered.#and that was what got me into her stuff and i read the arts of seduction a couple years back but i wasn't unhinged back then-#-so i forgot all about it until like a month or so back when i came across a video of hers on yt and damn those floodgates BROKE man.#which lead to me finally putting my foot down and reading that shit and JESUS FUCKING CHRIST-#so back to where we were. there's this entire section about scents alright? and we all know where this is going so bear with me please.#so this section talks about how different scents stimulate excitement and how different parts of the body should be scented.#like seema anand does NOT warn you about how fucking DETAILED this shit is in the original text. AT ALL.#it's got i think somewhere around 600 different scents and the optimum intensity of the scents for like IDK TURNING INTO A MONSTER.#so like when i read the fic my brain thought HEY THESE ARE TWO UNHEALTHY OBSESSIONS OF THIS FUCKING SICKO THAT SHOULD ALIGN RIGHT? BOOM.#and i imagined post fall will experimenting with scents for fun and shit because why not who's to stop him at this point in his life?#and then my brain flashed me a very vivid image of hannibal BURYING his face into will's waist to smell the perfume he put there-#and then my brain short circuited because that is too powerful an image for a mortal brain to comprehend.#i don't think anyone will understand what the fuck it is that i'm on about but y'all should watch that ted talk.#and get ahold of the nearest fic writer you know and force them to write a fic on this BECAUSE THIS IS THE PROMPT THEY'VE BEEN WAITING FOR.#this is actual psychosexual bullshit and istg i've had SO MANY vivid dreams ABOUT SCENTS ALONE it's making me lose my fucking mind.#GAAAAAAAAAAAAH#hannigram#hannibal
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Finally finished S1 of Lab Rats and all I can say is
#as in oh boy oh boy am I about to dive super deep into this as a hyperfixation which I'm already intensely hyperfixated on#I have a feeling I'll miss Chase's little nerdy and sheltered personality of S1 though 😔#I know he's still a nerdy little dork in the rest of the seasons he just gets more cocky (unless I'm completely wrong about this lmao)#Chase and Leo are tied for my favorite but I still absolutely love Bree and Adam (sue me for laughing at Adam most of the time okay?)#Spike too (obviously because of this blog) but I'd feel weird to say he's my favorite at the moment because he's barely on the show#but I'll make a really big post (or multiple smaller ones) later just to rant about the notes I took while watching S1#I will say that I felt so bad for Leo in 2x01 he apologized for something that wasn't his fault?? (redeemable) Fuck A B & C in 2x01#personal
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Infinite list of favourite lyrics: 222/?
John Cale - Dying on the Vine (1985)
"Who could sleep through all that noisy chatter?
The troops, the celebrations in the sun.
The authorities say my papers are all in order
And if I wasn't such a coward
I would run.
I'll see you when all the shooting's over;
Meet me on the other side of town.
Yes, you can bring all your friends along for protection,
It's always nice to have them hanging around.
I was thinking about my mother,
I was thinking about what's mine.
I was living my life like a Hollywood,
But I was dying, dying on the vine."
#favourite lyrics#john cale#dying on the vine#larry sloman#1985#artificial intelligence#coming at a time of intense productivity (recording three albums in a little over a year‚ as well as producing work by former bandmate Nico#and others) as well as professional frustration‚ as his sparse experimental work failed to gain a popular audience‚ Artificial Intelligence#was a sort of last stab at commercial releasing for Cale; returning to a more accessible pop sound characterised by drum machines and synth#overlays‚ Cale worked with a cowriter‚ Sloman‚ to produce typically avant garde music within a more radio friendly framework#the result wasn't particularly successful‚ and afaik this first single from the album didn't even chart here in the uk#a pity‚ because I'd count it among his very best works (and I'm not alone; the song has had a slow reappraisal and is now generally#considered one of his finest of this era). a despondent‚ gloomy study of one man's annihilation‚ draped in several layers of allegory;#the vine can be read as a fairly literal metaphor (fruit left too long without harvest spoiling)‚ or as a reference to his then home on the#intersection between hollywood blvd and vine street in LA‚ a then rundown area rife with drug abuse and criminal activity; or as a nod to#Cale's struggles with alcoholism in this period (as well as a cocaine habit; his daughter was born soon after the release of this album‚ as#a result of which he retreated from the music business for a while and kicked his addictions).#some have pointed to the quoted verse‚ apparently about an authoritarian state‚ as being inspired by Cale's love of the literature of#Graham Greene‚ and there are some other parallels earlier in the song; mostly tho this is about a moment of crisis‚ of Cale at rock bottom#surveying where he was at in his life at that point and realising he needs to change (just as possible to read the authoritarian state as#every day life‚ with the troops regular people living their noisy lives around him and Cale's temptation to 'run' as a metaphor for suicide#who knows. whatever he's saying‚ there's an awful‚ beautiful melancholy to the near lilt in his voice as he ponders 'I was thinking#about my mother..' an incredible work from an under appreciated artist who‚ happily‚ beat his demons and stayed sober
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